#4561 Hopium Of The Masses

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #4561 – "Hopium Of The Masses"

Date: September 24, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

This episode finds Luke and Andrew in a state of buoyant optimism, fueled by the Seattle Mariners clinching a dramatic postseason berth. The duo riffs on baseball euphoria, local culture, and the hopeful return of Jimmy Kimmel to late-night television after a politically charged hiatus. It's a classic TBTL blend of pop culture analysis, personal reflection, absurdity, and friendship—featuring musings on sports rituals, local mascots, advertising oddities, and the search for hope in turbulent times.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Mariners' Postseason Clinch: Euphoria & Rituals (01:48–14:35)

• Mariners Secure Postseason Spot
  Luke celebrates the Mariners clinching a playoff spot “for the first time in what feels like a really long time,” highlighting the end of a prolonged drought for Seattle baseball fans. Andrew and Luke share their excitement for the team, especially the game’s hero Josh Naylor, whose personality quirks and superstitions charm both hosts.
• The Josh Naylor Shirt Saga
  The pair deep-dive on Josh Naylor’s now-signature move of refusing to wear the team-issued “postseason” t-shirt in the celebratory group photos:
  • Luke: "I look at this sea of celebrating Mariners...there’s just one little hobbit who is not wearing the blue t-shirt, and it’s Josh Naylor.” (07:10)
  • Andrew: "It’s not that he’s being a grump. I think he just doesn’t want to feel constricted. He has this reputation for being a grump, but I think he just wants to get loose." (08:39 & 10:51)
  • The discussion expands into nostalgia for sports celebration rituals and the emotional comfort found in the loyalty and peculiarities of fan-favorite players.

Baseball Fandom, Rituals & Group Dynamics (14:35–45:47)

• Mariners' Narrative & Infamous Rivals
  The agony and ecstasy of Mariners fandom is chronicled, including the team’s fraught relationship with the Houston Astros—past heartbreaks, recent triumphs, and ongoing grudges due to the Astros’ cheating scandal.
• Local Mascot and Sports Branding Appreciation
  Andrew and Luke riff on the charm of weirder, less athletic mascots, praising the Ohio State Buckeyes’ Brutus. Luke on Brutus: “I like mascots to be weird. I like them to be actively unathletic.” (44:58)

Advertising: Local Comedy & Commercial Critique (15:38–32:21)

• Casino Comedy Commercials
  Andrew breaks down a rare, genuinely funny local casino commercial featuring comedian Angela Johnson Reyes.
  • "This is how you take a two-second window and you put a joke in there that at least fits.” (17:28)
  • They discuss the trend of poorly edited stand-up snippets in regional ads and the branding quirks for comedians (Angela Johnson’s recent stage name change sparks curiosity: “It’s just an interesting tag on someone’s name that’s always been one thing.” – Luke, 20:06).
• Local Ads Feel Both New and Nostalgic
  Both note the strange pleasure of targeted local radio/podcast ads and speculate about the production methods behind local commercials—sometimes noting they feel like throwbacks even when using advanced tech. (24:00–32:21)

The Importance of Language and Slang Origins (32:57–34:17)

• Andrew muses on the origins of the vernacular “finna” while watching Devil in a Blue Dress, discovering (via AI) its long roots in African American English, not just recent slang.
  • “I always thought that was newish slang, but…one of the characters says 'finna,' and it takes place in the 1940s.” (33:12)

Donors & Life Reflections (32:36–44:41)

• As usual, donor thank-yous become a canvas for sideline rants—ranging from book-to-movie adaptation satisfaction (Don Cheadle as Mouse), to home design daydreams and literary nostalgia.

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Top Story: Jimmy Kimmel Returns to Late Night (56:15–87:12)

• Kimmel’s Comeback After Political Suppression
  Discussion pivots to Jimmy Kimmel’s triumphant, emotional return to ABC after weeks of politically motivated suspension.

  • Monologue Highlights
    • Gratitude & Reflection: Kimmel thanks supporters on both sides of the political aisle, including unexpected defenders.
    • Seattle Radio Roots: Shoutout to his first job in Seattle radio and the infamous "Jokes for Donuts" bit he refused (noting Kimmel was fired for insubordination—Luke reacts with local pride).
    • Free Speech Defense: Kimmel strongly frames the issue as one of free speech, not personal grievance:

    “This show is not important, but what is important is that people are able to get on TV and say things that are critical of the President and that that President can’t shut that speech down.” (paraphrased, 74:36)

    • Apology/Clarification: He addresses the controversy and clarifies his intent was never to make light of a murder:

    “It was never my intention to make light of the murder of a young man... I have many friends, and...” (69:11)

    • Both hosts analyze the sincerity and necessity of this “apology/admission,” with Andrew noting the delivery sounded more genuine than the written word (72:06).
  • Calls Out the Right: Kimmel credits conservatives like Ted Cruz and Ben Shapiro for supporting his right to free speech.

    “I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but Ted Cruz is right.” (65:51)

• Can Hope Survive in 2025?
  Luke and Andrew engage in a deep discussion about whether such moments—fighting for speech, small wins for "the left," and incremental optimism—signal a pendulum swing away from years of right-wing bullying and suppression.

  • Luke: “I guess what I feel like is…I’m not going to know exactly when [that] moment is, but I just tend to believe that this is not the rest of our life as a nation. This is not the rest of our life in the politics of this country.” (95:22)
  • Andrew: “Hope is a dangerous thing. [But] there are things you can do. Me wallowing in misery…is less helpful than the hope you maintain in your heart.” (87:12)

• Religion, Forgiveness, and Political Contradictions
  They linger over the resonance of Charlie Kirk’s widow forgiving her husband's killer versus Donald Trump’s “I hate my enemies” quip at the same memorial. Both wonder aloud if such stark contrast—between Christian teachings and Trump’s rhetoric—can pierce the partisan noise.

  • Luke: "If you know anything about the Bible, you know, that Jesus thing was like, love your enemies. And then you have this guy, Donald Trump, who's your guy? Going, 'I hate my enemies.'" (78:38–80:55)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Baseball Superstition and Personality:

  “He is so quirky…but he absolutely refuses to toe the line on the shirt situation.”
  —Luke, on Josh Naylor (14:36)

• On Local Commercials:

  “It actually feels like a throwback to me, and I generally like it.”
  —Andrew (25:16)

• On Kimmel’s Sincerity:

  “When I read that, I think disappointed is too strong a word. But it felt weak to me…Hearing him say that makes me believe more that he’s saying it because he wants to make sure the world knows that.”
  —Andrew (72:06)

• On Hope and Sports as a Metaphor:

  “If things are going to suck, they're going to suck. But I don't want to personally spend any more time feeling bad about something than I have to.”
  —Luke (94:09)

• On Current American Politics:

  “You can only lose so many times to a team before their personnel gets old and they're not quite as good at what they were doing…Things are cyclical, pendulums swing one way and the other.”
  —Luke (86:32)

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Important Timestamps

• [01:48] Mariners clinch: postgame ecstasy and the "Big Dumper" moment
• [07:10] Josh Naylor’s anti-t-shirt crusade, sports rituals
• [15:38 & 17:28] Regional casino comedy ads—what makes a good one?
• [32:57] Andrew’s musings on the origin of "finna"
• [44:58] Mascots, branding, and sports identity
• [56:15] Kimmel’s return, monologue audio, free speech defense
• [65:51] Ted Cruz defends Kimmel’s right to free speech
• [69:11] Kimmel’s clarification/apology for misconstrued comments
• [77:36] Kimmel moved by Charlie Kirk’s widow and the theme of forgiveness vs. Trump’s antagonism
• [86:32] Reflection on hope, social change, and the metaphor of cyclical fortunes

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Tone & Style Notes

• Warm, irreverent, cerebral: Laughter and pop culture references abound (from "Bob's Burgers" imitations to literary analysis of Devil in a Blue Dress), but always anchored in vulnerable honesty about heartbreak—sports and otherwise.
• Original language preserved: Quotes and banter reflect the informal, conversational joy and occasional exasperation that is quintessential TBTL.
• Balance of levity and gravity: Silliness and deep reflection live side-by-side, from obsessions over shirt sizes to earnest questions about democracy and decency.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed this episode, you missed a ride through baseball euphoria, the quirks of regional advertising, the cultural weight of names and traditions, and the struggle to remain hopeful or even just functional in a chaotic era. It’s yet another classic TBTL collage—making the case that laughing through heartbreak, even with silly impressions and “hopium,” is how you get by in 2025.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

So you got a boyfriend at the moment?

[Luke Burbank]

Me? No. You?

[Andrew Walsh]

Me? I don't have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. No, not me. You can't tame the J Dog. The J Dog's just.

[Luke Burbank]

What's the J Dog?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's me. I'm the J Dog.

[Luke Burbank]

Where's that from?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's street language. You know, you just take the first letter of your name and you put dog on the end of it. And all the other dogs sort of respect you.

[Guest or Producer]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

T, B, T.

[Guest or Producer]

They said it would.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happen, and it has.

[Guest or Producer]

The day when you could go to.

[Andrew Walsh]

The movies without leaving your living room. You wouldn't have to go to the movies. The movies would come to you. Well, they are coming to you.

[Guest or Producer]

If you're ready for them via videotaped cassettes, you can play on your home television set.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. You guys like impressions? Here's that guy Bob from Bob's Burgers. Hi, I'm Bob from Bob's Burgers. How about that show Archer? You watch that show Archer? Here's that guy Archer. Hi, I'm Archer from that show Archer. Now, what if those guys met? Hey, Archer, it's Bob. Hey, Bob, it's Archer. Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know who that is, and.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't care to find out. I don't know if it's video games or what, but it's so unfair to after something like this to blame people in the backseat or say they deserved it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it feels good to laugh.

[Guest or Producer]

And boom goes the dynamite.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

As Florence Machine says, the dog days are over.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

I hear you inside bumping them gums, telling them lies.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we're looking at another lovely day here as we've made it. Folks, to episode 4561 in a collector series, let the fun begin. Lovely night last night, if you are a fan of the beleaguered Seattle Mariners baseball team, who turns out will be returning to the postseason for the first time in what feels like a really long time. I know they went a few years ago, but let's just say it's felt like a very, very long time in the wilderness for this team. And now they are returning to the postseason. It's very, very exciting stuff. We love you.

[Guest or Producer]

Might as well go win the whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

We love it when the big dumper they didn't have a dump button big enough. God, where's my laughter? Where is my. Let's see. I can't find it. All right, maybe that didn't serve. They couldn't find a dump button to dump. Cal Raleigh saying the F word. That's how excited he was. The famously laconic and kind of understated Cal Raleigh was very excited last night, as was I. He was also excited because there was another return that was made last evening, and it was Jimmy Kimmel returning to the airwaves.

[Guest or Producer]

I'm back. I've returned.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm back, y'. All.

[Luke Burbank]

I watched the monologue last night, although I couldn't watch it on any either of my local ABC affiliates, not in Seattle or Portland. And then I. I re. Listened to it this morning, and we've got the tape. We'll play some of it. We'll talk about it. Speaking of returns, this guy, he's returned to Cobra the show. Why? Well, because it's his job. Also because he loves being here. He is, as I mentioned, the longest running Cobra of the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Damn. Fireball. Back at it again with the white bands.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning. Am I wrong here, but did I wake you up a little bit with that Paul Reubens drop in the intro?

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't need any waking up, but I loved it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I saw you look up at the computer like something was wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that was a look of recognition because I love that particular episode so.

[Andrew Walsh]

Much of 30 Rock, where Prince Gerhardt.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe his name is. Yes. And Jenna Maroney wants to get herself a prince.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And so she's able. But the problem is he's from the Habsburg dynasty that's been inbreeding for so long that he's just genetically wildly abnormal. And that's how he laughs.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's how he laughs.

[Luke Burbank]

I like also that Will Forte is his sort of like, sort of his herald, His. What would you call.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the person who carries him around like a Muppet.

[Luke Burbank]

He kind of announces him as he comes into rooms. And he also has a very kind of ridiculous bowl cut.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. He does the Will Forte character.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, he comes into the room to announce that Paul Reuben's prince character is about to show up. And. Yeah, I just love that episode so much. So that was not me stressing out that you had maybe, you know, gone rogue on me and we're just putting in random sound. That was me loving the Fact that we were hearing some of Prince Gehart here on a Wednesday. I'm just also in a. As you might imagine, Andrew, I'm in a generally ecstatic mood today, as are many Seattle Mariners fans, because we had an incredibly dramatic game last night to solidify our place in the postseason. And it just felt like, without getting too much into the. As you and I always say, the sort of baseball of it, the X's and O's of it. It unfolded in a way that felt particularly appropriate because it involved our guy, Josh Naylor coming through in the clutch, and then I think most critically, leaning into his Josh Naylorness in the most hardcore way as the game ended and as the team was celebrating on the field and as everybody. I mean, I'm not just talking about the Mariners players. I'm talking about the groundskeepers. I'm talking about the training staff. I'm talking about anyone associated with the team were given a blue T shirt that I think maybe said like, post season or something. I mean, I don't know what the blue. This happens in sports. The team either, like, they win the big game or they win a game, which moves them on to the next level. And now the team is distributing special shirts and hats. By the way, I just saw that Bingo bomb.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was wondering if you had your video open. Yeah, Bingo. Instead of napping through the show, this is usually his nap time, but he's all full of beans today. So he was up on the.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, he's also hyped about the Mariners making it to the postseason.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't ever forget. I know I say this a lot, but the first game he ever saw was a Mariners playoff game. That was his first baseball game. It lasted for 18 innings, and the Mariners lost. So every time he sees a baseball game now, he's always like, where's the other half?

[Luke Burbank]

Here's what I would tell Bingo. I would say, as Florence Machine says.

[Andrew Walsh]

The dog days are over.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. It's a whole new. There's a new sheriff in town. And let me tell you what he doesn't like, Andrew. He doesn't like wearing the celebratory T shirt.

[Andrew Walsh]

No Josh Naylor, nor Bingo, but Josh.

[Luke Burbank]

Talking about Josh Naylor. Josh Naylor, right after the team wins. And it's. It isn't like he was just a kind of a ancillary character in this game. He was the hero of the game. He is arguably the hero of this team since he became part of the team fairly recently and has just been unbelievable. We talk about him all the time. But imagine being a guy who is the hero of the game. He hit a double with the bases loaded in the bottom of the eighth inning to score three runs and give the Mariners the win. And they're going around and they're giving everybody their celebratory T shirts. And I look at this sea of celebrating Mariners in, like, I guess you'd call it maybe kind of a navy blue, all gathered around the pitcher's mound, and there's just one little hobbit who is not wearing the blue T shirt, and it's Josh Naylor. He has taken the T shirt that somebody handed him, maybe even our friend Greg Green at the Mariners, and he has rolled it up, and he has around his neck. He didn't just, like, throw it on the ground. He just, like, kind of rolled it up, put it around his neck, but he was not going to be wearing that T shirt. And I sent a video of myself enjoying that fact because it feels like something I would do. Not that I think of myself as a baseball hero or a Josh Naylor, but I do have a problem with anything that feels like. And actually, I could see you also. You would not like it if suddenly there was a shirt someone was telling you to wear. Andrew. I don't think that's something that you would go in for either.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I have also have a theory about why he. Because Josh Naylor, when he first came here, and again, it was just a couple of months ago. And by the way, I want to just say that I'm very proud that we were able to have our Josh Naylor conversation one or two shows ago. I don't remember if it was yesterday or the day before, but you and I just.

[Luke Burbank]

I think Monday, when you maybe Monday.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I just feel like we took a moment to celebrate him. And I was. How it's weird that my favorite Mariner of all time by a country mile is this guy who's only been on our team for about two and a half months, and we took some time to appreciate him. And I even got text messages from people who are kind of like, hey, I was kind of on the fence about him, or I was slowly warming up. Thanks for that. Like, now, after hearing your enthusiasm, like, I'm on board the Naylor train. They didn't say the Naylor train. But anyway, I actually got heard from a couple of different people who said that. And I. I'm so glad that we had that conversation before last night that we're not just jumping on now, because, I mean, he was the absolute hero. He was after a completely frustrating game that I was pretty convinced that we were going to squander. He is the reason that the Mariners are going to the post season. And the thing is, he had this reputation or has this reputation for being a grump. And, you know, he's sort of earned it. He's always grimacing. He's always. But I don't take that as, like, grumpiness or not wanting to share joy with his team. In fact, in the post game interview, I don't know if you noticed this, but he was. He was fighting back tears. This is not a man who is aloof or doesn't care about his teammates. Like, he cares deeply. He just shows it in different ways. You know what?

[Luke Burbank]

He's the strong, silent type. Like I am.

[Andrew Walsh]

The more I think about it, the more maybe that is the reason I love him. Because, like, in the same way, it's like, it's not that I'm an uncaring person. I just don't want you to sing Happy Birthday to me. You know, like, maybe I share a lot of this with Josh Naylor.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a photo of Josh Naylor plugging his ears when people are singing Happy Birthday, Happy Birth to him.

[Andrew Walsh]

Some of his rejection of the ceremony actually does feel a little bit like that. But my guess is with this T shirt thing at the end, I don't think he didn't want to put it on because he didn't want to look like everybody else or he didn't want to just do as he was told. I think after the game, what's the very first thing he does after every game? Luke? Or at least after every game?

[Luke Burbank]

He untucks his blues.

[Andrew Walsh]

He untucks his blues like he's in Saskatoon. And you realize that he's wearing it about five times too big and it hangs down to his knees. And, like, just the second game is over, he just needs to, like, get loose. He's been wearing this thing and I don't think he wanted to put a tight T shirt on over his jersey to feel constrained. And so he put it around his neck and. But then he went around with his night shirt and celebrated with everybody else. Luke, love isn't a strong enough word for how I feel about Josh Naylor.

[Luke Burbank]

It is funny, Andrew, because what you are doing is reenacting an exact conversation that I was having via text last night with my friend Dan. Actually, Dan is a TBT listener. It's our friend Dan Poss, also a supporter of the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thanks, Dan.

[Luke Burbank]

Dan and I were texting and I sent him the video of me cracking up about how Josh Naylor refused to wear the T shirt and he pulled a total Andrew. And that is to say, he said, considering. He goes. He goes, My guess is the T shirt is too small and will be tight over the jersey. Looks like he has it on now with no jersey. At first I thought it might be a superstition thing, and then I used that gif of Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny where he has, like a million string like he's a conspiracy theorist. And I said, so out of the 40 shirts that they handed out, only one was too small for one guy. Like, I find that to be conspiratorial. Like, I feel like they know the size of everyone.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not saying that it's not his proper size. I'm saying that Josh does not like to wear the proper size clothes. I don't feel like he likes to be. I'm not saying they accidentally gave him a shirt that's too small. I'm saying I don't think he was rejecting wearing the shirt out of any kind of, like, trying to feel like an individual or not follow the pack. I think it's a comfort thing for whatever. However you interpret that. I don't think it was a mistake, but I think it's a comfort thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I listen, no. Part of me talking about this is because I think that Josh Naylor is not being a team player like, or you know what I mean? Like, I. I love this about him. I love that he is so quirky. But then, so then my friend, I said to Dan, he said, well, considering he goes untucked right away, I think he doesn't like feeling constricted, which is basically what you're saying, Andrew. And I said, I just think he didn't want to look like a nerd in the team photo. And he knew it was going to be a photo on the pitcher's mound. And then Dan keeps looking and he goes, okay. He goes, basically, he thought that he was under the impression now in the locker room that Josh Naylor had to put the shirt on. Then he goes, wait, wait, he still doesn't have it on. He has a sleeveless undershirt on. And then Dan proceeds to go find every photo of Josh Naylor celebrating the postseason as a Cleveland Guardian, wherein he is consistently across multiple years not wearing the team issued celebration shirt. There are. There's a photo of him in the Guardians dugout with a big old stogie. And he's wearing a Cleveland baseball hoodie that he has modified the arms. He has cut the sleeves off so you can see a significant portion of his torso through the shirt. And then there's another one where they had gone to the postseason, and he's in his full normal game jersey, but he has refused to put on the T shirt. And in this one, by the way, his jersey's tucked in. This is before he was in untucked days, but this is him with all of the other players on the Guardians who have just qualified for the postseason. And they're all in their special guardian we made it shirts. And there's one guy who's not, and it's Josh Naylor. And I love this about him. Whatever, whatever his thought process, whatever the motivation, I love this about him that he absolutely refuses to toe the line on the shirt situation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he is. He's magical. He has to be a Mariner for a long, long time to come. And something else happened, Luke, during the game that I don't think you realized we were going to talk about today. But I noticed something. I mean, there was a. There's so much to talk about with that game last night. But also, we don't want to get too de baseball. But you know what else aired during that game? Commercials, Luke. And I saw a commercial that opened my. I'll say it opened my ears a little bit, because it shocked me because. And I want it. I need to be so careful setting this up. I need to be so careful because this is an expectation game. I don't want to set you up for brilliance here. What I'm about to play for you is not brilliance. It's not the funniest joke you've ever heard. However, we often have pointed out that the commercials for comedians who are performing at local casinos, these commercials tend to be terrible. And when they cut them down to like a 10 or 15 second AD, they have the smallest window to share a joke by the comedian. Right. They have longer versions.

[Luke Burbank]

And a lot of this falls to the person who's now editing the commercial, not the comedian in question. Which, if I were the comedian in question, I'd feel a real lack of control on this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. And the thing is, I mean, I'm gonna get into too much detail here. But the thing is, they make these commercials. It's 30 second commercials. So usually the format is you hear a very quick joke by the comedian, then a voice comes in and says, so and so coming to the Emerald Queen Casino. And then you hear them Kind of continue their joke. And then there's more information about how you can see this comedian at the Emerald Queen Casino. And so it's sort of a two parter, but when they cut it down to the 10 or 15 second, they just use the setup of the joke, which is such a weird thing to do because the setup is usually not funny. And we've dice dissected other versions of this and it's so cringey. And like you say, it's not necessarily a reflection of the comedian. But I heard a brand new one or kind of saw a brand new one. I think I was kind of. I was doing a lot of pacing during the game. Genevieve was downstairs by this point. And I'm kind of pacing around. She's sitting there and we both not laughed out loud, but chuckled out loud. Do you remember the commercial that I'm about to play for you here? This, this latest comedian who's coming to eqc?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think so. I think that I was in such a state of heightened. I don't know what that. I think during most commercial breaks, I was getting up and wandering around on the deck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, there's a lot of pacing.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't have a memory of this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Comedian because I remember I didn't even have eyes on it. I was like pacing too. Cause I was kind of in the dart area, but Genevieve was on the couch. And this is. And again, I want to make it clear, this is like the best joke in the world, but for people. And I like to think that we are broadcasting mostly to people who have the jobs of editing these commercials. And so I want to offer this as some guidance of. This is how you take a two second window and you put a joke in there that at least fits.

[Luke Burbank]

Angela Johnson Reyes, the Family Reunion Tour I'm approaching the age where I'm gonna.

[Andrew Walsh]

Start getting my clothes the same place I get my groceries. See, that's it. That's all they had time for. And again, is it the funniest joke I've ever heard? No, but it works, for God's sakes. In fact, Luke, to cut that, I had to watch the, you know, play that audio for you. I had to watch the longer version of it. And as the joke goes on, I lose interest in it. Actually. I actually thought that they did a really good job by like kind of filling their three second window with that joke and immediately was relatable.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I take this now to a very weird place that I don't know if you'll like or not.

[Andrew Walsh]

You always do.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on, let me put on my special team issued shirt for when I take the show to very weird places. Here, can you put yours on too?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Here. I'm going to put on a shirt that looks like I'm not wearing a shirt. That's going to make it really weird.

[Luke Burbank]

It's because I've been, I've been an Angela Johnson fan for a while.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Great, great comedian, really funny. And what I did see that commercial and I didn't clock the joke, but I agree with you that like, that does. That does what you're hoping it will do. It conveys that the person is funny. It is a joke. I don't know if you could say that. It has a setup and then a punchline, but it is comedic and it's complete in its existence.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I just tell you that the longer ver. Like if you watch the 30 second commercial, she comes back and says Forever 21. You go in there, turns out that was a lie or something. Which is, you know, like actually the second half of that joke is like, you know, fine. But that, that didn't strike me as particularly funny.

[Luke Burbank]

My thought when I saw that commercial was the things we do for love because she has only recently started becoming Angela Johnson. Reyes. Reyes is new. I've known about her for probably 10, 15 years as Angela Johnson. I think she might have even been on MADtv for a while. And again, I think she's very funny. I've liked her on podcasts and what I thought was, wow, my friend, you are adding a name onto your name. And I can't imagine that her fans would be confused as to who she is. Like, you know, but what I clocked was there is a point as a professional entertainer where people are aware of you under a certain name. Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. It's different than just because obviously a lot of people change or take names when they get married. But you're saying like, what if you have an established brand and if she goes back to Mad tv, that's an established brand going back decades, you're saying.

[Luke Burbank]

I could be wrong about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

But either way, she's an established act and that is a huge thing. That is not just your name anymore, that is your brand, like it or not. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And is again, I'm a fan and that's why I've only known her under the previous version of her name. She's now added Reyes to her name. I'm assuming that is because she got married to someone or maybe she had been married to someone. And at some point, she obviously chose to add that to her name because she wants to do that, because that's something that is important to her. And I absolutely, of course, salute that. And I. That's her call. But I did. I. Here's what. Here's where my mind was going last night. I was like, I wonder what. I wonder how that conversation went down. If it was the person that she's with, whoever the Reyes is. If that person said, hey, it would mean a lot to me if this. If. If the last name Reyes was associated with your name, or if Angela Johnson Reyes was the person who said, hey, I'd really like to add that to my thing. I wonder how her management felt. And I wonder if it has moved the needle in any way, in any direction. Again, I don't think you'd be confused as to who she is, but it'd be like if suddenly he was Jerry Seinfeld Reyes, you know, or like, you know, insert Dave Chappelle Reyes. Like, it's just an interesting tag on someone's name. That's always been one thing. And again, it. For me, it was this weird view into the fact that Angela Johnson is a real person in the world who has a real relationship and loves someone and made this decision, not just a comedian person who used to do a character on. On Mad TV called Bon Kiki.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was just looking at that, too. Yeah, so that was back in 2007 and 8. It looks like she was on MAD TV. So you're right about that. And again, it reinforces the fact that she's, you know, performed and made a name like, you know, literally kind of made a name for herself.

[Luke Burbank]

A brand. Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Brand. And I do think it's interesting Angela is spelled A N, J, E, L, A H, which is a more unique way. I know you're not supposed to say more or less or most unique. It's either unique or it's not. But it's a more unusual way of spelling Angela, so that. That stands as well. You know what I mean? Like you say, I don't think there's going to be a lot of confusion in the marketplace.

[Luke Burbank]

And again, everybody has the right to do whatever they want. And so. But it's just funny that you were having a thought about this being, like, a pretty good joke for an EQC. Yeah, you did pretty well with that 15 seconds EQC. And I would. I would. I would totally agree, but I was having this other thought about, like, what was the negotiation on Angela Johnson adding Reyes to the name.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it does look like that.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm guessing married since 2000.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you're looking at that. So assuming that she made that change back in 2011, I guess she's been rocking this for, you know, over a decade.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. I don't think she. I don't. I have been. I've seen her work since 2011 and there was no Reyes associated with it. I feel like this is new. This is, this is a relatively new thing. But again, everybody should live their life and do their thing. All I was pointing out was that I was having my own weird set of thoughts about the same commercial. We were wishing on the same EQC commercial, but just for different reasons.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, and it's also. That's an example of how you're like, no, I didn't see any commercials, but they commercials have a way of just like, you know, kind of weaseling their way into our consciousness.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I actually, there was a commercial. So I started off the festivities last night watching our friend Chris Hayes on his TV show, All in with Chris Hayes. And you know, the way that that works with MSNBC is there are a certain number of commercials that are local to me that are punched in by the way that's been happening more and more in my experience, including with podcasts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like I'll be listening to a podcast, you know, out here. Or maybe when I'm jogging the lake and I'm getting these hyper local commercials. I'm talking for like mom and pop stores in my area and I'm like, I, I know that that's not exactly the super new technology, but it still kind of impresses me that it works.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Especially when it works smoothly. It does drive me crazy when these inserted ads, especially in TV for some reason. Drives me more bonkers when it's like super janky. Do you ever get that where you can really feel the machines working?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, these ones have been pretty, pretty smooth actually. And where I'm going in my mind with those commercials, I wish I could remember the exact store. Maybe it was like a flooring store or something, but it was basically like, imagine going to this again. It seems like a very, like a, maybe a mom and pop, like a family owned flooring place in like Longview, Washington. And you go to them as the person who I guess sells podcast pre rolls for the region for like, I don't even know what entity you work for at that point, but you sold them on this and then you recorded the commercial. And then I'll be Gosh darned if it didn't auto populate when I was listening to Camp Swamp Road, this new podcast from the Wall Street Journal that I like. You don't even like. It's amazing to me that somebody went into that flooring store, went and talked to the people that owned it and said, here's what we're going to do. We're going to record this commercial. You're not going to be able to hear it on the radio, but. But a guy's going to be listening to a Wall Street Journal podcast and if he's driving within a certain region, it's going to play.

[Andrew Walsh]

I also think it's interesting, I think I'm witnessing this on sports streaming because I, when I'm, you know, I just listen to various apps to listen to different games, whether it's the MLB app or the local sports app. I don't have to get into all the details of it. But if I'm in a different place and I'm listening to some of those apps, it's interesting to have those local ads like where there would usually be something that might Pacific Northwest related. Oh, suddenly I'm hearing something Phoenix related. You know, it's like it's following me around, which is obvious. I know that's the whole point of this stuff, but I don't know. I also just love hearing local commercials. And generally speaking, even though it's this new whiz bang technology, it actually feels like a throwback to me and I generally like it. I love the idea of being able to listen to it. Really bums me out. As much as I love hearing Mad Dog say the doggies gotcha over and over again. Covered. I wish they got you covered. Is that I leave out covered.

[Luke Burbank]

It just sounds like a kidnapping.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought that's what he said. Doggies gotcha. It's the last thing you hear before you die is my understanding. The doggies gotcha right. There will be a podcast about that pretty soon too, I'm sure. A 17 part series about the doggy getting people. But yeah, anyway, it does feel like sort of a more. It's a more modern technology, but it's also a throwback of going back and listening to local ads.

[Luke Burbank]

No, absolutely. And I love it for that reason. And I love that these, this flooring store signed off on it and recorded it and it got to me because yeah, it does feel like I'm listening to terrestrial radio. Now back to the commercials that I was seeing during Chris Hayes's television show. There is, I don't have it in front of me, but there is a local car commercial for a car dealership in Vancouver, Washington. And like, much like the Angela Johnson Reyes ad that you played, I'm not, I'm not saying it's like it's, it's, it's going to win any Clios, this car commercial, but it's so much better than your average local car dealership ad. It's basically like what they're touting is that this car dealership in Vancouver has a good warranty policy. And so you've got a person sitting, it's a shot, a head on shot of the car. And I think you've got in the passenger seat a woman who works for the car dealership, maybe that she's the manager of their warranty program or something. I think in the rear, in the like back seat of the car, you've got maybe the owner of the car dealership. And then in the driver's seat, for whatever reason you've got the guy who represents the other leading car dealership or I think they call it Brand X. Again, this is so not satisfying because it's me doing an impression of this commercial I saw last night. But like basically they're saying, you know, at so and so car dealership we have this great warranty. At the other brand they don't. And that's where the guy who's playing Brand X is actually really good. And he's like, yeah, you know what I do because I am the warranty is I just make car sounds like an engine that's working. And then also if they ask me, you know, why the car isn't working, I can also do a siren. Like this guy, first of all, he's pretty good with doing an engine sound and a siren sound. It's. I don't even know comedically if the commercial totally works, but I think it's shot pretty well. It's actually relatively funny. The acting is good and I wanted to like, I wanted to clip it. I didn't because I was too busy with Mariner Pandemonium, but I wanted to clip it and play it for you and just be like, hey, this is a good, a pretty decent local car commercial.

[Andrew Walsh]

Surprisingly and unsurprisingly, I am googling around with the information you've given me. I cannot find it. But this sounds like a toughy because if it's local it might not even exist online. And if we don't know the name of the service then that's going to.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that was the Thing also that I started to wonder was I started to analyze the commercial. I don't know if you ever do this, Andrew, but I was like, is this a nationally produced commercial where they have a way to kind of punch in the locality of it, the localness of it? Because sometimes there are things like that, too. Like, there used to be this crazy one where it was like a. Remember the heating and cooling guy that was landing on the moon and they superimposed his face into the moon mask? Do you remember this commercial? I swear to God, we would have had to have talked about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm racking my brain. If I remembered it at all, it would only be from you playing it for me in the show. This isn't something that I feel like I saw in the wild, as Genevieve says.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't remember if this was when I was living in Portland or maybe even in the Bellingham days. Definitely would have been something that was playing during the baseball games. That's my main exposure to, like, a buttload of local TV commercials. And basically what it was was it was a commercial that had been created by some national company because it was kind of decently produced, and it had to do with, like, a moon landing, almost kind of like the. You know, the. Like when MTV used to have that, like, dirt, dirt or whatever. And it's like the moon man kind of thing. It was sort of like that, but somehow that was related to heating and cooling. And it was like mission control was talking to, like, the person who owns the heating and cooling company. But then what you could tell pretty quickly was all that happened was the owner of the heating and cooling company could have their face superimposed into the. Into the moon man's, like, face mask.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is driving me bananas, because the way you set this up was that you're convinced that this was happening during a baseball season and a baseball season and recent enough that I would have seen this. And the only.

[Luke Burbank]

It might not have been playing where you live.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Luke Burbank]

It was for a local heating and cooling company.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Because the only thing that is ringing a bell here at all is this vague, vague notion, like an aura, that maybe you have told me about this before, but I can't. I. I can't conjure the actual image in my head, you know, and I'm googling around here, but thank you. You just sort of saved my sanity a little bit there by reminding me that I might not have seen it in my market. It.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it probably didn't play in Seattle. It was just this. Some, you know, local company, wherever it was I was living at the time, was approached by some, you know, some ad agency or some whatever, and they said, like, we've got a slick, well produced commercial that will be. Look, that will feel like a commercial that you all made. But what we just need is we need your guy to say these, like, four lines, film it probably in front of a green screen, and then we'll superimpose him into the guy on the moon, and then that'll be your slick, nice commercial that will look really good, and you don't have to do anything other than that or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you know what? Based on the timeline you just set up, this could also be kind of pandemic e time or pandemic ish time. You know, like maybe during the time when people's models for production were, like, trying to keep, you know, still in that mode of trying not to have a whole bunch of crew on set, you know, just record yourself doing this thing and we'll superimpose it in.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that actually could have totally been part of this.

[Andrew Walsh]

So go Mariners. Thank you, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, let's thank some donors. These are the wonderful, generous people donating to TBTL voluntarily and keeping the show in business. This is 100% listener supported podcasting, thanks to folks like Jennifer Finn in Arlington, Texas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Jennifer.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask you a question? Thank you, Jennifer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me ask you a question here. This is a conversation that you and I are the last people to be having this conversation. I mean, the last people. But do you know how in slang, sometimes people say instead of I'm gonna, they say I'm Finna.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, yes. Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

I always thought that was newish slang, but I was watching the movie version of Devil in a Blue Dress when I was in Arizona last week. I was watching a lot of hotel level movies, by the way, and I've read all.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a Robert Townsend film?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know who made it, but it's the Easy Rollins E. Rollins series of books that I used to be obsessed with by Walter Mosley. I'm looking because they're literally on the shelf behind me. And he has this character that he made Easy Rollins. And I was and probably will again someday be obsessed with the series as I get back into it. You know, kind of pulpy novels that you can rip through pretty quickly. But the very first, you know, book in the series was Devil in a Blue Dress, which was then Denzel, right? Yeah, Denzel Washington. And it was, you know, turned into a movie, and one of the characters says finna. And it takes place in the 1940s, and the movie itself was made in the 90s. So I'm wondering if that is actually slang that goes back. I honestly would have guessed like mid 2000s or something like that, but I'm very late to the game.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, why don't we go to the official source on sort of African American vernacular English, which is AI overview.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, great. Oh, this is. This is where I really trust AI when it comes into the subtleties of code.

[Luke Burbank]

This is where the large language model really shines. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where AI and culture intersect.

[Luke Burbank]

Finna is a slang term meaning fixing to or going to, used to express an immediate future, intention or action. It is an abbreviation derived from African American vernacular English, has deep roots in the Southern United States, though it is now widely used in informal contexts across the country and has gained popularity through social media. Okay, so unfortunately, that actually kind of scans. Yeah, because if it is, don't praise the machines. But that does kind of scan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, if it is like fixing to that. That would go back to, you know, very time. Can I. Actually, while I've done this, you're thinking.

[Luke Burbank]

Of this because Jennifer's last name is Finn.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. That's why. So thank you again, Jennifer, for that. And here. Here's my.

[Luke Burbank]

What do you have on Huffman?

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to give you, as in.

[Luke Burbank]

Julie huffman in Oxnard, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Julie. I'll give you 60 seconds on Devil in a Blue Dress, because it blew my mind. I told you I was obsessed with these books, Luke, and in it, this character lives in this. I think he lives in the same house the whole time. His. The fact that he's a homeowner is a really big deal to him. The series starts in the 40s in LA, and then it goes through the 70s, at least as far as I'm caught up. All that is to say, there were some things about the book that didn't seem exactly right to me. I actually, as much as I love Denzel Washington, I would watch him do anything. Somehow he didn't seem right as EZ Rollins to me. It just didn't seem like. It didn't seem like the obvious choice, other than it's the obvious choice because you want to cast him and everything, but, like, there was something that didn't quite seem right. But when they showed his house, because keep in mind, I was deep in this book series. I was reading it off and on for years when they showed his house and even the interior of his house Luke, I had a moment. I was like, I'm looking at something on the screen here. That is exactly how I pictured this in my mind for. Oh, because you read the book, Reading all the books, you know, like. And again, these are books that I usually take on vacation. And then I'll burn through two or three of them, like kind of in a row and then like, whatever. And there's a character, his best friend is named Mouse, who's like just. Just a real badass. Just a real badass who shows up in almost every. He's the one who says finna. And I didn't know who was gonna play him in the movie. I couldn't even remember if that character shows up in this first movie. But when he shows up and it's Don Cheadle, I almost lost my goddamn mind, Luke. I was like, of course it's Don Cheadle. Like, I wasn't picturing Don Cheadle when I was reading the books, but I was like the perfect casting. And just something about being so deep into this world of Easy Rollins for years now and not really thinking too much about it. Like these details as you read the books, they're just sort of. You're just, you know, kind of like the commercials, the EQC commercials. You're just absorbing it. Right. But then to see his house realized, a very humble house, but just realized in the exact same layout as I always pictured it, and then have John Cheadle walk onto the screen as Mouse. I almost lost my shit.

[Luke Burbank]

Because that must have been. Yeah, that must have been very satisfying that the movie that your brain was writing. Because of course, I'm not saying anything novel here, but like the most fun part about reading in my experience is when your brain turns it into a movie and you kind of forget your reading because you're just watching a movie in your mind. But then to have that actually line up with the filmmakers version of how they perceive it or how they kind of pictured it, that must have been like, oh my gosh, I'm seeing the thing that I had been imagining.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I want to make it clear. It's not like I was reading some sci fi book about like some sort of like the Stephen King book about some dome that covers like a town. And then when you see it in the movie, you're like, oh, this fantastic thing has been.

[Luke Burbank]

That dome was exactly how I went down to the ground and then up.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was a terrible book. If I recall, it was clear that like Stephen King had just learned about webcams. Like his niece or somebody brought a webcam over so he works in the book. And it's so corny. But anyway, this is just like a humble little house in Southern California, you know, probably 1930s era house being built that this guy lived in in the 40s. There was nothing particularly like, you know, snazzy or stand out and standoutish about it.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it in Los Angeles?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Southern California. I meant to say it's in la. Yeah, it's in la. And anyway, yeah, just to see it, it felt like coming home. Sort of read these books in so long.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll tell you who's a little north of Southern Cal, actually. Seattle, Washington, is Allie Liana, who's supporting the show today. Thank you, Ali. Thanks also to Minnie Lai, who's also in Seattle.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. Seattle is exactly how I picture it, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, precisely. I thought when you were talking about the Eazy Rollins house in the book, I thought you were gonna say that you wanted to live in the house like that. You saw like your perfect idea of a house.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's where I thought you were going. You know, there's not too much. There was only like one or two interior scenes. It was just sort of like it's a small thing. It's like you walk in the door and I always picture the couch being in the corner on the left and the dining room table right ahead. It was a fine house, but I didn't have any fantasies about it.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know how Lexi Keough of Alexandria, Virginia has pictured the Walter Mosley books, but I'm assuming it's spot on as well. Same with Abby Hersey, who's in Columbus, Ohio.

[Andrew Walsh]

Our old pale Abby. Thank you as always, Abby.

[Luke Burbank]

Go Buckeyes. But don't go so hard this week that you make my Washington Huskies look like they shouldn't be allowed to play college football. Please. Number one ranked, the Ohio State University coming to the Pacific Northwest to play the Huskies on Saturday. And let's just say, you know me, I'm a. I'm a real Joan Didian Andrew in that. I once hired Harrison Ford to remodel my kitchen. No, that is a thing Joan Didian did. Yeah, I. I'm a real Joan Didion that I like to act. I like to engage in a lot of magical thinking about my sports teams and about their chances of doing stuff. I have no illusions that the Huskies are going to beat Ohio State on Saturday, but I would like it to just feel like, kind of like when I played golf. I would like the Huskies to look like a team that has played football.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that desert. You know, this is the first season, and you. Since the sort of restructuring of the conferences and everything, and you don't want to look like. Just like a turd out there, as they say.

[Luke Burbank]

We don't want to look like a little turd out there. Yeah, exactly. So, Abby, please talk to the Ohio State folks and tell them if they could just to, you know, you're allowed to win, but just have it be reasonable.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just don't stomp. Can I ask you a question?

[Luke Burbank]

No stomping.

[Andrew Walsh]

No stomping. Can I ask you a question about the. You mentioned the Buckeyes, and maybe you even said something about the mascot. I can't recall, but it came up recently. Jenna.

[Luke Burbank]

The Buckeye.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think Jenna. And I don't want to misrepresent her here, especially on such an important topic, but I think that she was kind of saying that it's a weird mascot, that she doesn't like Buckeye. What is his name? Bucky or.

[Luke Burbank]

He's a Buckeye. He's kind of got like a. I guess he's maybe Brutus Buckeye.

[Andrew Walsh]

I liked your name better, to be honest. I think that's a great example of a local mascot, you know, not, like, overly, like, tough. And I like the fact that it's, like, literally a buckeye. Something that falls from a tree, a.

[Luke Burbank]

Seed that has been turned into. And also. Right. The Buckeye State.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the Buckeye State. Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Ohio State Buckeyes. It's literally the.

[Andrew Walsh]

The.

[Luke Burbank]

The. The. What would you call it? The team name for all the teams. I'm with you. You know, I've never thought about Brutus Buckeye, but now I'm looking at it, I'm totally into this. Like, it's a. It's an anthropomorphic buckeye.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I like that. It's kind of. I'll tell you who would love his outfit. Josh Naylor. It's pretty loose.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the history. Ohio State students Ray Borhies and Sally Huber decided Ohio State needed a mascot in 1965. Kind of late in the game. I would say pretty recent, in my mind. Although that's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know how old the school is.

[Luke Burbank]

I bet older than 1965. They convinced the athletic council to study the matter. At the time, mascots were generally animals brought into the stadium or arena. A buck deer was contemplated, but because bringing live animals as mascots was common at the time, this Was rejected as impossible. That sentence doesn't make any sense, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Say it again. They wanted to bring a deer in, but it was impossible.

[Luke Burbank]

A buck deer was contemplated, but because bringing live animals as mascots was common at the time, this was rejected as impossible. That feels like an AI hallucination. If they're saying that it was common to bring live animals in as mascots, then why was this rejected as impossible?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I don't know. Something went wrong there. By the way, it did take them 95 years, apparently because it looks like it was founded in 1870.

[Luke Burbank]

Instead, the buckeye was selected. As the Buckeye is the official state tree of Ohio, a simple paper mache nut was constructed by students. Worn over the head and torso with legs to. God, I would love to see photos first. Yeah, I'm sure. Like deeply upsetting Buckeye paper mache mascot made by the students. God, I would love that. There's got to be photos of that subway.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm going to look.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see. It made its appearance against at the Minnesota. The Minnesota vs Ohio State homecoming football game in 1965. The heavy paper mache nut did not last and it was soon replaced by a fiberglass shell. In 1965, the Columbus Dispatch reported that judges picked Brutus Buckeye to be the new mascot's name after a campus wide name the Buckeye contest. The winning name was the idea of then Ohio State student Carrie J. Reed. Let's see. The Brutus costume was stolen before a game. The mascot was forced to wear the old costume.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my goodness.

[Luke Burbank]

I love the story of Brutus Buckeye.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I'm going through old photos of Brutus throughout the years and it's pretty astounding. I can't tell if I'm seeing the Gen1 paper mache or Gen2, which was. You said fiberglass. Sort of. Because this is a little bit shiny. But anyway, I'll send you some photos later.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm with you, Andrew. Like, I like this mascot. I don't like it so much that I want the Buckeyes.

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

To stomp us on Saturday. But I do like it. This is the kind of mascot I go in for. I'm very clear about this. I like mascots to be weird. I like them to be actively unathletic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I like about the Philly fanatic. That's what I like about gritty. That's what I like.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta give it to him. I don't like them as a team and their fan base can be a little rough. Sometimes.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, who are you talking about?

[Andrew Walsh]

But I like Orbit. I gotta say. I like Orbit. I gotta say. Yeah, here, let me say some nice things about the Orbit. Only because. And again, I'm not. I'm not just saying that the Astros are still, you know, certainly one of my least favorite teams in baseball. I'm not trying to. I don't want. I don't want to, like, go soft here just because I'm in a good mood because the Mariners won. You guys know what you did. You're not forgiven. Having said that, the whole Astros sensibility, the fact that I love teams like professional sports teams that are named after industry after local industry, and the fact that their industry was space is just kind of cool and that they really ran with that whole concept. And so you have Orbit, who I guess is. Am I right about that? Can you fact check me? Is it Orbit, like kind of a.

[Luke Burbank]

Space orbit, lime green alien name, pays homage to Houston's identity as Space City.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's just sort of cool. And then there's throwback jerseys that, you know, I assume were at one point not throwback. Actually sometimes say Space City on them. Their colors amazing. I think their whole uniform, their whole Luke. I'm going to say it. Their whole steez. I get it. It's pretty cool.

[Luke Burbank]

They used to have a mascot named Junction Jack, a seven foot tall rabbit dressed as a railroad engineer. I think that's because they used to have a train that would drive.

[Andrew Walsh]

Shades of Donnie Darko. I'm just kidding.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me just say, seriously, you hear seven foot rabbit, I go Jimmy Stewart and Harvey. But that's just like. Let me say one last thing before we talk about Kimmel, which, by the way, thank you so much to our donor. Thank you for making this show possible. I really do mean that and I apologize for so much baseball talk, but it's not going to get better. But we appreciate the support and we'll try to work it as much other stuff as well as we're obsessing over our baseball team. Speaking of other things.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

We will talk about Kimmel in a moment. I do want to throw out one little bit of. Of something that we've been, you know, we've talked so much about the Mariners baseball team against the Houston baseball team, because the Houston baseball team, we feel like they cheated. I mean, I think that's kind of proven that they did cheat in a year that they won the World Series.

[Andrew Walsh]

And face no, no consequences.

[Luke Burbank]

No serious consequences. None of the players were disciplined. The person who had been the coach was disciplined, but he wasn't even on the same team anymore. It's, it's a, it's a real burr in our saddle. And, and, and one of the things that was so glorious for us Mariners fans about the weekend that happened was we went into the lion's den. We went into this place, the Houston Astros home stadium that we have just had. It's been a hall of horrors for us and we dealt out the horror to them. And it felt so, it just felt sort of like vindication, et cetera. I saw this clip though, that really, I wouldn't say I got got, you know, Josh Naylor level of emotion over it, but I did feel something and it was this Cal Raleigh big dumper. He hit a home run to become the all time leader in home runs for the Mariners. And it went into the stands and the Houston Astros bullpen coach went and talked to whoever caught that baseball and talked them into giving him the baseball and then brought it to Cal Raleigh after the game. And that was, and nobody even knew this was going on. Someone randomly caught it, you know, like on, on camera. But this was not something that was necessarily meant to be a public moment. And I thought, whoever that bullpen coach is, your team is imploding. Cal Raleigh is hitting home runs that are potentially making it so your team is not going to make it into the playoffs. This is a sad moment all around for your organization. The vibes are bad and you are now going to and negotiating the return of this baseball so you can get it to Cal Raleigh because, you know, it's important to him. That was a moment of like deep humanity from that coach and it's made me, it sort of, it expanded my mind into just being like, I'm so caught up in my own hurt feelings about the cheating and my own just journey of like this revenge fantasy against this baseball team that I'm like a lot of them were not involved in that and certainly none of the fans were. And anyway, it was good for me to consider the, the bullpen coach of the Astros as somebody who did something really kind.

[Andrew Walsh]

So yes, what you say, I'm going to try to start this sentence but not give away my deepest, darkest baseball secret, which I told Genevieve recently.

[Luke Burbank]

And I swore Ryan court ball on the open market to get out of some gambling debts.

[Andrew Walsh]

My poll tab debts. I just blew 40 bucks. I got to sell this Ryan Cork ball. I think that what you that story just told and I saw a little clip of that on the game last Night, too, is a good reminder that I actually think the players are so much more mature than the fans. I think about this. I mean, I think about this all the time when you're like, oh, they're playing this team that I'm so angry at because I get decades of grudges against. And then you see your player, you know, I don't know, reach first base, and they're just sort of chatting with the first baseman there, and there's like, what's going on, buddy? They probably played on a team together at one point. Sometimes they crack a smile and they laugh, and I'm just like, yeah, it's in. You know, I just kind of poked the Astros fan base a little bit. I'm probably too online when it comes to my baseball fandom. And so, like, there's some. You know, truly, the Astros fans have a pretty bad reputation in Mariner circles, and probably vice versa as well. But you just see them playing, and I'll just say my secret. I don't know if I'm going to whisper it or not, but I don't think you're going to like this. By the way, this is a pretty dark secret, because when you think about the Mariners especially, but generally speaking, the hatred towards the Astros, if there's a legacy of that today in 2025, who would you say is the face of that legacy, that sort of cheating scandal?

[Luke Burbank]

Altuve.

[Andrew Walsh]

Altuve.

[Luke Burbank]

You love Altuve.

[Andrew Walsh]

I could. I don't love Altuve. I don't love Altuve. I could see, I mean, I think that if circumstances were, certainly if he was on my team, but if you weren't wrapped up in this particular rivalry and this particular cheating scandal and everything that goes along with it, I think he'd be. I think he'd be a really cool player to root for. I see him out there, he looks like not only, like, his performance. You mean that.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean a 5 foot 6 guy who hits for power and average?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, I don't even mean about his performance. Like, obviously you want him on your team, but also, he just seems super cool, man. He seems like a really cool guy when he. When I see him, like, kind of chatting up with other people, I'll bet you he is a fun guy to hang out with. I'll bet you I would like him. And it kind of take him anywhere.

[Luke Burbank]

You fit him in your pocket. You're Aaron Judge. You're one foot, one inch taller than him.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got a. I got a nailer in one pocket. Maybe I just love My short Kings. But, like, I don't know, man. I gotta be honest with you. I was doing some soul searching during that last series, and I was kind of like, as much as he. And he owns us especially, right. He is such a thorn in our side. And I've just like, you know, I've just kind of clung to my hatred of him for so long, but I actually was doing some soul searching and being like, he's kind of awesome. Altuve's awesome. And under different circumstances, even if he weren't on my team, I would have much better feelings about him.

[Luke Burbank]

This is, I swear to God, the last thing I'll say about this on the subject of baseball for a couple of shows, because I know we have been hitting it too hard, but this is. This was the gift that the Mariners, winning those games in Houston gave to me personally was. I think it kind of released me from a trap of my own grievances. In other words, because we had never managed to do what we did last weekend, which is to kind of go into Houston or just play Houston and then give them some of their own medicine. It's like we were under. I was. I was. I was trapped in my own kind of, like, resentment loop and then going in there and then like, kind of like, you know, beating them three games and maybe putting them out of the playoffs and like, having them kind of have a taste of that medicine. And it's actually now given me the freedom of not being so mad at them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, here's the thing I'm going to caution against, because you and I are going to still have to.

[Luke Burbank]

We might play them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. I'm not quite there yet because I still think that they are our ultimate heartbreakers, and they're. I'm, you know. Well, listeners don't need me to go through it anyway, but I'm also not smart enough right now, off the top of my head, to figure out what all the scenarios would be. But there's a chance that we see them again in the playoffs, and there's a chance that they break our heart again in an embarrassing way. And I will say when it could not happen.

[Luke Burbank]

It will not. It will not, and it cannot. Andrew, I don't think you understand how powerful the karmic shift has been in the universe. The Mariners are not going to lose a game for probably five straight years.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know that I. I started to regret this during that terrible, terrible road road trip. But, like, when. When the Mariners, not long after, they sort of like, you know, brought and some folks at the deadline and reshuffled their lineup. I tweeted something or blue skied something along the lines of, according to my Google AI overview, the Mariners are never going to lose again and they're all going to live forever. And that has sort of been living in my head because that's how I felt in that moment. Like, not only are the Mariners never going to lose a game, but it's going to be this core of Mariners going forward forever. Just, that's, that's my, that's my magical thinking.

[Luke Burbank]

And then, you know, nothing will ever change.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly that. A couple of weeks after that, they just, like, they brought me to my knees, knees in a way that I've never been so angry at a sports organization. And I used to root for the Browns. So maybe that's a hyperbole there. But anyway, I hope that you are right about that, but I just do not want to give any Astros fans who are possibly listening to this the satisfaction of hearing me just absolutely destroyed in a couple of weeks if they embarrass us again.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Andrew, it won't happen. I'm telling you, something has shifted. And when you. We have their number now. They had our number. I don't know why we gave it to them. We shouldn't have done that.

[Andrew Walsh]

We shouldn't have. Well, they found it on a bathroom.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, first things I said to Don Wakamatsu, don't give him your number.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, but he did.

[Luke Burbank]

He did. That just, just was passed down from generation to generation. And now we got their number and now we have have it and they don't have it. And I have no fear like, which could never, ever come back to haunt me. Andrew, that's the thing that's important.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the good news.

[Luke Burbank]

I, I, I am feeling, I'm, I'm feeling positive this week about a few things. Again, it's complicated, but I do think the fact that the ABC Disney Corporation decided to go ahead and put Jimmy Kimmel back on the air, I think that was a w. Now you could say, was it because they also had planned to raise their subscription fees for Hulu and Disney this week. That might have been part of it, but whatever it was, I mean, they decided that they were going to deal with the continued hassle from the fcc, et cetera, by putting Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. And he in fact was back on last night. I'm wondering, did you get a chance to watch this, Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I didn't. I assume that you're going to play the Tape, and I'm glad you asked me that because I think I'm very interested in hearing the tape because I read it and like, not maybe. Well, I was super obsessed with that game, of course. So maybe, maybe I read the New York Times write up of the monologue maybe about an hour after he had done it live or whatever, or that it aired publicly live, wherever it did on the East Coast. And so I read what I think was pretty much. It wasn't a transcript, but it was the New York Times article. I trust that. And it was big chunks of basically what he said. And I, I don't have to tell you what I thought of it right now, but that's my experience of it. And I'm interested in knowing if hearing it will change how I feel about it.

[Luke Burbank]

I was all excited to watch it. I knew it wasn't going to be on in Seattle, but I figured, well, I actually live closer to Portland than Seattle now. I'll watch it on my Portland ABC affiliate. And then I realized, no, they're both Sinclair stations.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And so then I, instead of waiting until 11:30 or whatever, I just went on like YouTube and watched it right after the Mariners game was over, which is just kind of a funny thing because that's again, much more the way that I think a lot of people experience this kind of content. Anyway, like this idea that nexstar and Sinclair are going to punish the viewers of their stations by not allowing them to see Jimmy Kimmel. It's like, okay, well, we'll just go somewhere else and watch it. Like, that's just the way this works. So anyway, this is some of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you.

[Guest or Producer]

Thank you. Anyway, as I was saying before I.

[Luke Burbank]

Was interrupted, you know, it's funny, I was wondering if he was going to make that joke. You know who else made that joke was E.J. dion when he and David Brooks and Robert Siegel got back together.

[Andrew Walsh]

And who. It's.

[Luke Burbank]

What's the roundtable?

[Andrew Walsh]

What's the original again? It was somebody, it was a late night talk show host who left the air for a couple of years.

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe. Yeah, the New York Times. Oh, really? That is a.

[Luke Burbank]

That is a joke. That's a standard joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to say Jack par. I'm not 100% on that, but I didn't even know that the New York Times said that. Like he was using that joke as an homage, I think, to Jack Parr, who, I don't think it was forced out, but left the show for two years or something. Something. And then came back and said. And then as I was saying before I was interrupted.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know that part of the plot.

[Guest or Producer]

If you're just joining us, we are preempting your regularly scheduled encore episode of Celebrity Family Feud to bring you this special report. I'm happy to be here tonight with you.

[Luke Burbank]

I did wonder if he was even gonna be able to get through the monologue because obviously if you've, like, if you've signed up to be in the studio audience that night, you are a Jimmy Kimmel fan and you are rapturous that he is back. And everything that he's gonna be saying is gonna be probably music to your ears. And there's just gonna be a ton of what they call applause breaks in comedy. I was like, I wonder if he actually talked to the producers about, like, how are we gonna control basically the level of enthusiasm in this room so that I can kind of of get through the thing that I'm supposed to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I also just mention I did not. They didn't include in the write up. I was reading that little joke about Celebrity Family Feud. But the night that, or I guess you know, the night that he was first off the air, I was in Arizona in my hotel room and I happened to look down. I'm like, oh, it's 11:30. He'd be on right now. Now I'm not somebody who would ever watch late night TV anyway. I'm just not interested in that. I'd probably have a movie on or something. But I was like, oh, I'll just turn on the TV and see what they're playing here. And it was Celebrity Family Feud. And I had this weird feeling of both thinking, like, what sort of a cheap replacement, of course. And it's sort of funny in that way. But also I kind of got into it. I was like, I'm more likely. And this is not me, like bashing Kimmel. It's just like, I'm just not really super into the late night format. And I'm just like, oh, actually, Celebrity Family Feud, I could dig this. I can watch some of this.

[Luke Burbank]

I've gotten locked into like a multi day Family Feud bender with you when you're in Arizona.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love it. I know it's not eventual.

[Luke Burbank]

You're like vibing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you.

[Guest or Producer]

I'm not sure who had a weirder 48 hours, me or the CEO of Tylenol. So it's been overwhelming. I've heard from a lot of people over the last six days. I've heard from all the people over in the world. Over the last six days, everyone I have ever met has reached out out 10 or 11 times. Weird characters from my past are the guy who fired me from my first radio job in Seattle, where we are not airing tonight, by the way. Sorry, Seattle. His name is Larry. In 1989, Larry tried to force me to do a bit called Jokes for Donuts where people would call in with a joke and I would give them donuts. I refused to do it and I made a lot of fun of Larry for suggesting it. And eventually Larry fired me and I had to move back in with my parents.

[Luke Burbank]

But even he wrote in did not expect Seattle radio to get such top billing in this very, very, very highly watched monologue.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you know any of that? This is. Again, that was.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know about Jokes for Donuts, but I knew about Jimmy Kimmel being Seattle radio.

[Andrew Walsh]

I had no idea. That is fascinating. Obviously that very, that very much speaks to me. I also am not entirely sure that he was on the right side of history with the Jokes for Donuts thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I doesn't sound like a terrible bit, first of all.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's why you and I are so successful and he's not.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. I think he was, he was the sidekick on kz. Okay, interesting. Back in the day, back in. He was like 22 years old. I don't know if this was. I think this might, I don't know if it was before or after he was at KROC with Kevin and Bean. Like I, maybe, maybe he was with Kevin being after this or something. But. But yeah, he did have some time in Seattle. I did not listen to kz. Okay, at that time. So I didn't get to hear the Jimmy Kimmel era in Seattle. But I do find it. I'm weirdly proud of the fact that his first I think big radio job might have been in Seattle. Short lived though it might have been.

[Guest or Producer]

Cheer me up. Thank you, Larry. And I want to thank everyone who checked in all week to list all of them. But something I do especially want to mention are my fellow late night talk show hosts, my friend Stephen Colbert, who found himself in this predicament. My friends Jon Stewart, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, John Oliver, Conan o', Brien, James Corden, Arsenio, Kathy, Wanda, Chelsea, even Jay reached out. I heard from late night hosts in other countries, from Ireland and from Germany. The guy in Germany offered me a job. Can you imagine? This country has become so authoritarian. The Germans are like, come here, come loose. My boyhood Idols Howard Stern and David Letterman were very considerate and kind. And I feel honored to be part of a group of people that knows what goes into doing a show like this. And I also want to thank all of you. Thank you who supported our show, cared enough to do something about it, to make your voices heard so that mine can be heard. I will never forget it. And maybe, maybe most of all, I want to thank the people who don't support my show and what I believe, but support my right to share those beliefs anyway, who I never would have imagined, like Ben Shapiro, Clay Travis, Candace Owens, Mitch McConnel, Rand Paul, even my old pal Ted Cruz, who believe it or not, said something very beautiful on my behalf.

[Luke Burbank]

I hate what Jimmy Kimmel said.

[Guest or Producer]

I am thrilled that he was fired. Oh wait, no, not that, the other part.

[Andrew Walsh]

But let me tell you, if the government gets in the business of saying we don't say what you, the media have said said, we're going to ban you from the airwaves.

[Luke Burbank]

If you don't say what we like.

[Guest or Producer]

That will end up bad for conservatives. I don't think I've ever said this before, but Ted Cruz is right. He's absolutely right.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I have to say that like I don't know how much that moved any needles, but it was again, we. It's just, it's so bleak out there that you're looking for any small silver lining or w. I was, was noting that there were some people on the right who were like this is not good what's happening. And I did find that encouraging. Again, they're, you know, they're going to go back to saying and advocating for things that I do not agree with. But I did appreciate that coming from even the Ted Cruz's of the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

And are you like, are you with me that you didn't know that until Jimmy Kimmel told you that those people.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I knew that I was at.

[Andrew Walsh]

The list of people were kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't, I didn't know everyone on the list, but I knew I had been reading articles about the. I was again, I was like searching or as they say in the Internet parlance, I was sort of hyper fixating on this story and where the culture was at on it. And I was looking to see if there were people on the right who could just look at this and see plainly what it was, which was an attempt by the government to suppress someone's freedom of speech because the president doesn't like the jokes that the person was making. It seems like it's so open and shut. And there were. I mean, again, look at, like, look at Ted Cruz. And. And I didn't know Ben Shapiro was. I didn't know Candace Owens, you know, but I knew there was a list of some people who were kind of pushing, at least criticizing it. I mean, they weren't pushing back, but, you know.

[Guest or Producer]

All of us, including him. I mean, think about it. If Ted Cruz can't speak freely, then he can't cast spells on the Smurfs.

[Luke Burbank]

They had a. A still shot of him looking almost exactly like Gargamel.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was wondering what I was missing there. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, they had this, like, freeze frame of him where he looks quite Gargamelly.

[Guest or Producer]

Even though I don't agree with many of those people on most subjects, some of the things they say even make me want to throw up. It takes courage for them to speak out against this administration, and they did, and they deserve credit for it. And thank you for telling your followers that our government cannot be allowed to control what we do and do not say on television and that we have to stand up for. I've been hearing a lot about what I need to say and do tonight. And the truth is, I don't think what I have to say is gonna make much of a difference. If you like me, like me. If you don't, you don't. I have no illusions about changing anyone's mind. But I do wanna make something clear because it's important to me as a human. And that is, you understand that it was never my intention to make light of the murder of a young man. I don't think there's anything funny about.

[Andrew Walsh]

About it.

[Guest or Producer]

I posted a message on Instagram on the day he was killed sending love to his family and asking for compassion. And I meant it, and I still do. Nor was it my intention to blame any specific group for the actions of what it was obviously a deeply disturbed individual. That was really the opposite of the point I was trying to make. But I understand that to some that felt either ill timed or unclear or maybe both. And for those who think I did point a finger, I get why you're upset. If the situation was reversed, there was a good chance I'd have felt the same way. I have many friends, and so that's interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the kind of, you know, clarification slash, I guess you could say apology part of the monologue where he's been. And I mean, to my ears, that sounded genuine to me. Like I didn't sound to me like Jimmy Kimmel was saying that because it was ordered from his boss. As I. I think. I think he probably, you know, was reflecting on it and was saying, look, if I was really. If this happened to somebody who was a progressive, you know, influence in the progressive political world, and then someone made the same joke, I could take it to feel that way or I would feel that way. I don't know. This. To me, it. I don't know. What did you think about this kind of his clarification here?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, this is where it's really important that I heard this tape as opposed to just reading it, because that's the quote, you know, that's part of the quote that I read. And they specifically said that he said it, you know, kind of choked up. Right. But you can read that, and it can hit you differently when you're just reading it as information as opposed to actually hearing it kind of as you played it, kind of in the moment, if you will. And when I read that, I'm not saying I think disappointed is too strong of a word word. But it felt weak to me. Weak. T, in other words, not like he's a weak man, but it just sort of felt like I'm, you know, he didn't say, I'm sorry, but he sort of said, I understand why people would be upset by what I said. And I'm still. Unless I'm just, like, really missing the line that the conservative MAGA people were really upset about. I think that I've read everything that he said, said in the original monologue, and I just feel so strongly that you have to be so disingenuous. You have to be, I thought, just, like, so full of shit to even take his words and weaponize it the way the right did when he never said anything that I feel like could be misconstrued about Charlie Kirk and his family. And he did. I had seen that he had posted that thing on Instagram. I believe that was earlier in the day before he did that, the quote, unquote, controversial monologue. So I guess I'm still hanging on to a lot of anger about how one side was able to totally misconstrue and what I think sort of like make something out of nothing. And then to get him on stage to have to reiterate that he wasn't trying to hurt anybody and that maybe his timing was wrong. It felt a little bit capitulatey to me, but just a little. And I stress that just a little. I'm not Jimmy Kimmel. I mean, obviously, and I'm glad he Got his show back. And I think it was an. I think you're right. Hearing him say that makes me believe more that he's saying that because he wants to make sure that the world knows that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And when I read it, it felt a little bit more like I'm saying what needs to be said. So that's just. And by the way, everything I'm saying right here, here, I don't even know that I'm right about it. I'm just being honest about how I feel, feel about it, if that makes sense. Somebody might come back to me and say, well, listen, here's more context to, to what he said because I didn't watch his original monologue. And so maybe I am missing some huge pieces here, but that, that's just, that's me explaining to you how I've been feeling on this journey.

[Luke Burbank]

What I'm curious about is if any of this, because again, I, I think that that felt to me like he really meant that. Like the idea now, you know, whether or not it was fair. I don't think it was fair. Whether or not it was a very, very cynical thing by the right, which I think it was to try to fool a bunch of people into thinking that he was somehow being disrespectful to the victim of a murder and that and that victim's family. I do. It did feel to me like it was important to him to make sure that as many people as possible knew that that wasn't something he would ever do or certainly wasn't trying to do there. Like, that felt pretty genuine to me. Again, even though he shouldn't have to be up there making this speech, but he does want to make sure that people know that. What I'm curious about is if that will get through, if that can get through the kind of fractured media landscape where you have basically like a certain section of the right wing media that has no interest in hearing what Jimmy Kimmel actually thinks about that. They just want to try to use it as a way to, you know, to sort of punish him and to punish the left, etc. Like, do you. That's what, that's what I would be really interested to see, if this actually could get through all of that kind of filtration system to where there are people. I'm wondering if there are people who are walking around to today who thought two days ago that like Jimmy Kimmel is trying to make fun of the murder of Charlie Kirk and now they heard that and they think differently. I don't know the answer to that, I'm just wondering, you know, same thing with how he wrapped it up. We're going to jump ahead a little bit. He basically then just goes into talking a lot about, you know, the importance of protecting the freedom of speech, even if you don't like the speech, even if you don't like the show. And he says something to the effect. Effect of like, this show is not important, but what is important is that people are able to get on TV and say things that are critical of the President and that that President can't shut that speech down. He also said something. I've got this whole long kind of audio file in front of me, so I can't quite needle drop it. But I thought it was interesting how he framed this as a jobs issue. He basically said, like, the President of the United States was celebrating hundreds of people losing their jobs on my show and is trying to, you know, get rid now, get rid of Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon and all the hundreds of people who work for them who are not millionaires. Like, framing this as like a jobs kind of story, I thought was sort of interesting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't you feel like that is a, that is a perspective that I think the hosts of these shows have that we don't think about as much when we're watching the shows and because you hear that a lot. Like, I think Colbert was talking about that. Right. And, and just the idea of like the amount of labor and just the whole economy, the whole economy around these shows. And I sort of feel like, boy, we've been hearing that kind of a lot lately.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine. I mean, obviously I'm carrying you and John on my back like a papoose, but I can't imagine what the pressure is on these hosts of having 200 employees, 200 people that, that work there, that if, if the show has poor ratings or if the President decides to take you off the air or whatever, it's. It's like hundreds of people's livelihoods. That must be an extra. And by the way, not that, not that this were the Jay Leno fan club, but I did hear that at one point. Again, this sounds like a very Jay Leno story, too, but, like, because, like, have you heard, famously, I think he never spent any of his Tonight show money.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's like a joke to me. That's like Tom Cruise does his own stunts. Like, you can't mention Jay Leno without saying, you know, he never touches a stamp. Stand up money.

[Luke Burbank]

No, he. I think he doesn't he live on his stand up money? Doesn't touch his Tonight show money or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay, okay. Maybe I had that backwards. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But then we really love people. By the way, we love the story of people not touching their money because isn't there one about Marshawn Lynch? Like, Marshawn lynch never touched any of his NFL money because he just was living off of his endorsement money.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was a story I told. Maybe you told me that. I don't recall.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like we love a story of a person who's somehow not touching, catching the main amount of their money. Like, it's very inspiring. But like, I did hear that Leno took a. Like he took ha. Like they were gonna lay off a huge amount of his staff because of budget things and that he just basically reduced his salary to keep the staff around because he said he didn't need that much money. Which, you know, whatever you could take or leave the Jay Leno comedy thing. But that seems like a pretty mensch. Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All that is to say, the way that he wrapped it up I also thought was kind of was interesting because he basically talks about Charlie Kirk's widow and this, you know, this memorial for Charlie Kirk that was in Arizona. I don't know if I'm exactly at the right spot, but this is the last, like few minutes of the Jimmy Kimmel monologue.

[Guest or Producer]

We all are. There was a moment over the weekend, a very beautiful moment. I don't know if you saw this on Sunday. Erica Kirk forgave the man who shot her husband. She forgave him. That is an example we should follow. If you believe in the teachings of Jesus, as I do, there it was. That's. That's it. A selfless act of grace, forgiveness from a grieving widow. It touched me deeply and I hope it touches many. And if there's anything we should take from this tragedy to carry forward, I hope it can be that, not this. So thank you for listening and I'll have more to say when we come.

[Luke Burbank]

Come back again. I wonder if that. If that can actually break through and actually end up again on the other side of the sort of political media spectrum to where people who might hear that might actually. I mean, the thing about that memorial that I also wonder if there would be any repercussions from is Charlie Kirk was somebody who was described themselves as a person of faith, as a Christian. His wife very much also identifies as a Christian. I think that was, you know, that was the worldview she was coming from when she said she forgave his alleged shooter. It's also crazy to me that in that same memorial that Donald Trump went up and said, I don't forgive my enemies. I hate my enemies. And I wonder if, like, you know, you don't have to know a lot about the Bible to know that Jesus is on the record as saying, love your enemies, enemies. And like, there's this whole thing around a lot of people who are, who are, think of themselves as Christians who are very pro Donald Trump. And I know a lot of these people and they can really just kind of like, figure out some way to twist themselves into a knot to justify his behaviors. But I just, I wonder if, like, if it's so obviously not the thing that Jesus ever said. Like, if you have like Charlie Kirk's widow saying, I forgive this alleged shooter. And if you know anything about the Bible, you know, that Jesus thing was like, love your enemies. And then you have this guy, Donald Trump, who's your guy? Going, I hate my enemies. I just wondered if anyone might do a side by side. Like, is that such a. Because if he calls it 2 Corinthians, which he did, or holds the Bible upside down, which he's done, like, those are just gaffes. But like, this just seems so provably the opposite of what's in that book. That. And it's such an easy side by side. It's not like an obscure part of the Bible. It's like the Bible says A and he says opposite of a. I just, I mean, maybe, maybe none of this, maybe we're so far past any kind of a logical read on the situation, but I don't know, I was kind of just wondering if, like Jimmy Kimmel, highlighting how he found Erica Kirk's statement to be inspiring, I guess you would say, or something that he admired. And then you put it right next to the Donald Trump, the leader of this party, saying the opposite of what's in the Bible. Like, do you think any of that could have any impact? Anyone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where. This is where I go batty and I'm a little bit too close to it. And so I'm going to kind of say as little as possible here. But this is the conundrum that I've been living with for 12 years, whatever it's been, is that I know people very well who have values that are so rooted in their Christianity and in their, their faith and in a meaningful, non shallow, deep, important way.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Who voted for him. Whereas if he had a D next to his name, he. Which he did for A long time. You know. You know, technically, as far as the things that he would speak out about when he was not running for office, would have just been the most evil person. Like the most evil person. But somehow it's just the. That's why everything feels absolutely hopeless to me, honestly. It just doesn't seem like anything gets through because somehow, somehow it's just everything. I don't know. The information that people are getting, you know, the information that a lot of people who have that deep faith. People who have that deep faith often are associated or associate themselves with the Republican Party and Republican values views and are just seem so absolutely blind to the fact that their party doesn't represent anything that is in the Bible. And maybe they would say the same. I just don't understand how the teachings of Jesus have anything to do with what the Donald Trump Republican Party espouses.

[Luke Burbank]

It's all hatred, you know, I just again, I was the person who thought that Kamala Harris was gonna win in a landslide. So my track record's pretty bad on this stuff. But I don't know, it feels to me that I'm not really answering the question that I asked Andrew because I don't know the answer to it. But I guess I'm wondering if there is. And some of this might just be residual Mariners delusions in my mind because I. I'm feeling pretty optimistic this week. I kind of feel like, okay, a company finally standing up to the administration, like and saying we're not going to just, you know. And something that Kimmel said in his monologue that I thought was interesting was he basically said the news cycle is so short now. Like, he said he really appreciated getting to do the show again because we forget things really quickly. And that's true. We memory whole stuff. The news cycle moves on. Like there was a really tight window of time that this was going to be something people were talking about. And like if ABC would have just rode it out for two more weeks, it would have have just become probably sadly sort of a non story because it'd just be a new thing. And so abc Disney could have probably just let this slide and just quietly kind of ended the show at some point after like everybody had moved on to some new story and they didn't do that. I feel like it's, it's an, it's an optimistic sign that at least one company in America for whatever the reason, again, probably selfish, probably they did the math and they think thought people dropping their Disney accounts, us trying to raise the price of the accounts, the bad PR from this, whatever it was, I'm sure, I mean, they didn't probably make this decision cuz they're great people. But the fact that a company, a major company in America said we're not gonna just bend the knee in this particular situation, I think that's a positive. There was just a special election in Arizona this week where the Republicans in the House just lost another seat, so their majority is even more razor thin. Like, I guess what it feels like is Donald Trump has been on this incredible winning streak of just bullying everybody and just stepping on everybody's necks. And one person, and by person I mean one major company for at least one moment of time stood up to him and said, ah, yeah, we're gonna put the guy back on tv, even though you don't like this. And I don't know, I don't know where it starts and maybe it will never start. Like, in other words, I thought we were in the middle of a big movement back in the lead up to the election, which wasn't materializing the way I thought. But I just feel like one thing also that Kimmel said was he's coming now for. He's going to be coming for Fallon, he's going to be coming for Seth Meyers. And if you hear about that happening, or even a whiff of that happening, I hope that you will push back 15 times harder than you pushed back for me. And I guess what I mean is it feels like there's a little bit of a playbook now. Like when, when Trump came for Colbert, it just felt like we all just kind of were like bummed and angry and freaked out. And then when he came for Kimmel, it was like people were like protesting. There was a Kimmel protest in Seattle. There was Also1 in LA, I believe people were talking about dropping their subscriptions. It seemed like it kind of worked. Now if they, not that, I don't know, you know how sad we feel for Jimmy Fallon's show or Seth Meyer's show. But it's like now if he comes for Fallon, it does feel like there's a playbook for people stepping up and pushing back. And now there's been somewhat of a success. If the pushback helped orchestrate Jimmy Kimmel getting his show back, which I didn't think was going to happen. I don't know. I wonder if in on a very subtle way, if something is kind of shifting, if, if the we, the left, who have been, I think, in a real panic mode and feel very powerless, if there Isn't this small amount of like, okay, well, we got Kimmel back on air. We can do something. And okay, you know, we're. We're a month out from being in the year leading up to the midterm. I don't know. I'm always looking for something to feel better about, and maybe that's just what my brain is doing here as an anxiety response, but I just wonder if something isn't. It's sort of like Seattle and Houston. You just. You can only lose so many times to a team before their personnel gets old and they're not quite as good at what they were doing. Doing. And things just shift. You know, things are cyclical pendulums. They swing one way and the other. Like, I just. Things don't stay one note. What do they say? You know, we. Like, I don't know what the future looks like, but I know it's not going to look like whatever right now is. And so I don't know. I just kind of believe that eventually things have to shift, and we never exactly know when they're shifting. And maybe this is that week or maybe it's not, but I'm hoping something kind of important.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hope is a dangerous thing. You know, that's that tape that we played.

[Luke Burbank]

I quote EZ Rollins.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not saying that to be glib. I know it sounded glib, but I'm being quite serious. Like, we used that tape from Shawshank Redemption the day after the election, and it was very powerful to both of us. And it truly sort of remains sort of the fundamental question, maybe that or one of the fundamental questions about this era that we're living through is like, how much. How much do you want to avoid hope? And I think that I'm one of those people, like, don't get your hopes up because things are really bad. And you do tend to be more optimistic about things. I'm going to take this back to sports for a second, but hopefully, in a way that's just an analogy and not getting us talking about Josh Naylor's Untuck It Anymore. But I was actually thinking about you during the game because we were on that sports text chain, and I think I mentioned this earlier, but I'll reiterate it. The Mariners game last night was actually not a good game. It was actually a very terrible game until one moment in the. Was it. That was at the eighth inning, Luke, I think bottom of the eighth. And so I was pacing and you guys were kind of, like, talking on the text chain. I was mostly Staying out of it. And I don't like to be a grumpus on the text chain. I don't like to predict the worst thing or anything. And I know that that bums you out, but I did just. My only contribution was at one point I just said, I'm in hell. And that was just a true fact about where I was emotionally. It wasn't me trying to shut down your guys optimism or whoever was optimistic.

[Luke Burbank]

It didn't feel like that.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was just me saying, I'm in. Because you know what? I was in hell. I was miserable. I was screaming at the tv. I was so. And Genevieve wasn't downstairs for the whole game. I'm embarrassed when I do that. I think about what my voice must sound like coming through the walls when I'm screaming in an ump who basically just gifted the Rockies a run near the beginning. And it's like, that's such an unpleasant sound if you're not part of the experience that somebody's yelling about like hearing that. And I'm not a maniac. I'm not saying I was yelling the whole time, but like, I don't know, it's just sort of an ugly side when you're just by yourself in a room screaming at a tv. Right? But I was in hell yesterday and I was thinking about your optimism and I started wondering, that's probably high. I started wondering if one could make an argument. And I wasn't trying to make the argument. I was just trying to figure out if one could make an argument. If there would be any study or any way of, of looking at the mental benefits of expecting the bad thing to happen. In this case the loss or remaining hopeful and then having the bad thing happen. Now this goes back to the roots of who I am. Luke. As a little kid, I remember thinking, always expect the worst because if it happens. I don't know how I put it into terms when I was a kid, but I had these, these like front of mind thoughts like expect the worst. Because then if the worst happens, you're emotionally prepared for it. And if it doesn't happen, then it's a bonus. Look, I'm happy and I didn't expect to be. I remember being in like kind of maybe middle school and trying to explain that to my parents at one point. I'm also a kid who at one point believed that all the things I worry about don't come true. It's only the things I don't worry about. The bad things that come true. And so I decided I was going to worry about everything. And that's obvious, obviously, a healthy way to live your life. So I'm just saying that this is sort of fundamentally who I am. But during the game yesterday, I was thinking, okay, so if the Mariners do end up losing this game, which is I truly believed they were going to do on a night when everything else broke their way, as far as this team winning and this other team losing and what this win would have meant for us. And I was watching it slip between our fingers, and I was so upset about that, and I was so convinced they were going to lose. And I was thinking about you on the other end of the line. Line, who was pretty convinced that they were going to win. You kept saying, I just believe something's going to happen. Something's going to happen.

[Luke Burbank]

I think what I said was, I believe we can score two runs in the course of four innings.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Which is a reasonable thing to think for this lineup. Right. But it just felt cursed to me. It was one of those days that felt like a Mariner's curse to me. And all of this is irrational, you know, and all. And the sports thing doesn't matter.

[Luke Burbank]

I was also doing that, but I couldn't let it on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's what I sort of wonder, too, sometimes. Like, how much do you have to, like, kind of, you. You literally. I don't mean in the negative way. Sometimes you put on a sort of body language. We've talked about this recently as. As a. As sort of a coping mechanism or a way of. Of. Of just kind of getting through a situation which I actually respect. I think that's really interesting. But all of that is to say I started wondering. I had a feeling that if the Mariners lost this game, I was going to be mad. But I was also upset through most of the game. And then what I do is I turn off the TV and I steam for a little bit, but then I put on a podcast and I'm throwing darts and I move on. And I sort of wondered if you have somebody on the other end of the line, in this case you, who the whole time is remaining optimistic, but then your optimism turns out to be misplaced. Do you carry a harder and longer burden for the rest of the night than I do? I don't know. And everybody's different. It's a stupid question.

[Luke Burbank]

Like I said, it's not a stupid question.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I was thinking about that throughout the game. And so, anyway, anyway, I'm just bringing that all back to. Hope is a dangerous thing. Baseball doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, although I'm trying to convince myself it's the only thing that matters right now, and that's how I'm getting through 2025. But when you apply that to things that do matter, and especially because we live in a society where, at least at this point, you can use your voice, you can use your voice, you can go out, you can protest as people did outside of Como, like you said, there are many ways that you can use, use your power as a citizen to at least make yourself heard and maybe, maybe get other people on your side. There are things you can do. Me wallowing in misery as I predict the downfall of democracy is less helpful probably than the, than the hope that you maintain in your heart. So anyway, that was a very long, that was a very long blabbery response to your question. Question.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, I, I think it's actually a really interesting question. Is like is it does it hurt more when your hopes are up for something and it doesn't come true? Or, or, or is it, you know, is it better to be sort of is it better to be prepared for the worst so that it doesn't catch you by surprise? First of all, that is just going to be a person by person response based probably on their lived experience and trauma. And I wouldn't say to somebody, somebody that's that that is going in trying to kind of protect themselves like you are, as saying that they're doing it wrong. I don't think there's any I don't think one person is doing it right and one person is doing it wrong. I think where I have landed at this point in my life is the I think my theory of the case is if things are going to suck, they're going to suck. But I don't want to personally spend any more time feeling bad about something than I have to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So that when it happens and I feel bad, like I felt very, very, very bad on election night this year, but we all felt very, very bad, at least probably the most of listeners to this show. And I don't regret the time that I felt very good about Kamala Harris personally. I'm just speaking for myself here and like even if the Mariners it was funny because I think I was low key because I was being so bold in my prediction. Like, I think the Mariners got this. I think they're going to score two runs and foreignings. I was kind of low key writing my like, I guess I was wrong about that text in case they didn't But.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then, by the way, can I just mention, to reiterate to you, and I guess to tell the listeners, this wasn't at all any kind of friction or contention on the text chain, which sometimes pops up in very, very minor levels when one person's being aggressively negative and other people are kind of like, come on, dude. There was none of that last night, and there wasn't anybody, like, defending the right to be negative. You were just. You were just over there saying, I think we can do this. Like, and I'm sure your thought was, look at our lineup. Look who we are. We have several innings, and we can do this. And. And, you know, I was just like, I didn't believe that at the moment. I didn't think it was going to happen, but it was like, everybody seemed to be kind of in a good place.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And again, I want to be really careful. I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should deal with their anxiety and stress around whether it's sports, which kind of doesn't matter, or, like, the politics of this country, which matters really greatly, you know, to more so to the lives of people who are marginalized than to my life. That's the thing about all this. But. So that's why I want to be careful with how I talk about it. But, like, I guess I just feel like, yeah, my general thing for me is it's gonna. It's gonna hurt when. When bad and disappointing stuff happens, but I'm gonna try to wait until the bad and disappointing stuff actually happens, happens before I start letting it hurt me. You know, that's just, you know, this. I said this kind of sort of hokey bromide the other day, but it's like, you know, something to the effect of, like, no person has ever added one second to their life by worrying, you know, and it's like. So that's. Anyway, that's just my approach again. That is, I guess, my wiring or where I've gotten with my wiring, but I don't know if I'm right or not. And I don't know. I just feel. I feel like at some point something has to shift, and I. I guess what I feel like is it's. I'm not going to know exactly when that moment is, but I just tend to believe that this is not the rest of our life as a nation. This is not the rest of our life in the politics of this country. It is not always going to be like this, even though it feels a lot of times like it is. I don't think it's always going to be this way. I don't know when that shift is going to happen. Happen. And that shift may be years and years out. I might be. I'm not. I don't want to. I don't want to say definitively that this week was the shift. But I don't know, maybe it could be. Maybe some small thing could be changing somewhere. And I'm going to. I'm going to choose to hope that that's kind of what's going on so much so, Andrew, that I unblocked Ders last night. If you want to know the ultimate Hopium, if you want to. If you want to know the ultimate delusional, hopeful gesture. I unblocked Ders last night. And that just shows you how optimistic I'm feeling about life.

[Andrew Walsh]

Which, by the way, was Ders on the text chain at all last night? Yeah, he weighed in once.

[Luke Burbank]

He actually said something very funny. As soon as I unblocked.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Two dreams came true.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, good. Because I was a little bit worried if we had been maybe going a little. Because I don't know how much Ders pays attention to the show. I have been assuming not very much lately. But you had mentioned that he had come up on Friday show. So I would feel bad if Ders was, like, sort of abstaining from our friendship via text because he feels like he's under too much fire.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like, honestly, we. It's weird from something that was really dysfunctional, which was how he and I were. And I'll take the blame on this with the way that I was responding to him in the texture chain, particularly around football games where I just. I. I would take my sadness and anger and then I would direct it at him because of how he was expressing his disappointment. That was not healthy. Then I just started blocking him, and he knew it. And now it's just like, it feels like we. There's so. Our relationship is so uncluttered and so healthy. It's like I'm not ashamed about telling him that I need to block him sometimes. He doesn't seem to be ashamed about being blocked. I unblock him. Like, if. If he's having a. If he's having a moment, if he's having a hard time and it starts to get too much for me, I'll just block him again. Like, it's weird. It feels like the opposite of passive aggressive. I mean, I guess you could say blocking someone is the ultimate passive aggressive move, but it feels to me like we just have a clear understanding of each other now. I don't resent him because I'm not seeing it. I don't think he resents me. It's like we just kind of have an understanding. It feels pretty good to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. He's got a relatively thick skin, actually, when it comes to this stuff. No joke. I give him a lot of credit for that, in fact, because I don't know, to be honest with you, I've never really. I don't think I've ever talked to him about this irl. I mean, we've talked about his general negativity because we've been at games before where he's like, booing players, our players and stuff because he's so frustrated early on. And so we've had actually some kind of actually real conversations about that and how that. How that affects other people's game day experiences, you know, But I've never asked him, like, kind of how he feels about. I think he takes it kind of like you just described it a little bit with things. A grain of salt since it's just a stupid sports text chain, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Well, I'm. I'm feeling. I'm feeling hopeful this week, and maybe I'll be feeling bad in the coming weeks, but for now, it feels. It feels pretty good. So we should probably wrap things up here because I'm already. I've been pushing a meeting that I'm supposed to be in for the last, I don't know, five to 10 minutes here. So probably this should be the end of today's episode. But I have amazing news. We'll be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So we hope you can join us for that. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.