#4565 One Abbey After Another (Fixed & Re-Uploaded)

Summary

TBTL Episode #4565 Summary: "One Abbey After Another" (Fixed & Re-Uploaded)

Date: October 1, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Length: ~1hr 47min
Theme: From Paul Thomas Anderson movie misadventures, to a small-town bar confrontation, to confusing airline baggage experiences, Luke and Andrew dive into personal stories, pop culture observations, and relatable anxieties.

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode weaves personal storytelling with cultural commentary, focusing on everyday misadventures: Andrew's run-in at a local bar, confusion at the movie theater, Luke's surreal baggage claim mix-up, and both hosts' ongoing quest to understand life through organization, film, and the etiquette of public spaces. The episode is a classic TBTL blend of humor, introspection, and camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Group Self-Deprecation & Social Media Rituals

• Time: 00:00–01:22
• Opening banter with Genevieve about posting group photos and the culture of playful, self-deprecating captions:
  • Genevieve: "When you post a pic of yourself where you look really cute, then you have to say a little self deprecating [thing] so it doesn't look like you're just bragging."
• Sets a tone for the rest of the episode about vulnerability and social codes.

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2. Weather & Seasonal Shifts as a TBTL Hallmark

• Time: 01:34–02:47
• Luke describes transitioning into 'cozy season' only to wake to bright blue skies.
• Running joke about recording seasonal change via TBTL catchphrases.
• Luke: "Soon the Oma pa It's just beautiful. Will turn to Denzel Washington saying, 'Didn't know you like to get wet though.' Like the swallows returning to Capistrano." (02:47)

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3. Movie Mishaps: The Paul Thomas Anderson Film Mixup

• Time: 03:50–20:30

a) Movie Selection Expectations & PT Anderson Fandom

• Andrew reflects on revisiting Paul Thomas Anderson's films, especially the new release One Battle After Another.
  • Andrew: "I think I have a new favorite one...it's a three hour film and you feel like you ran a race by the time you leave the theater." (04:26)
• Mutual uncertainty about the often cryptic nature of PT Anderson films.

b) Accidentally Watching the Wrong Movie

• Andrew recounts purchasing a ticket at the AMC, accidentally sitting through Downton Abbey (starring Paul Giamatti), and realizing the mix-up only when seeing unfamiliar names in the opening credits.
  • Luke: "You were in one Giamatti after another." (16:04)
• Navigating modern cinemas’ confusing signage and automated ticketing, leading to self-doubt and paranoia.

c) Learning to Trust Your Instincts

• The story pivots into a conversation about trusting one’s anxieties, especially in ambiguous situations:
  • Luke: "Trust your fears. That's the big takeaway from TBTL." (20:30)

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4. Movie Critique & DiCaprio's Choice of Projects

• Time: 22:29–27:57
• Andrew and Luke discuss One Battle After Another's trailer versus the film’s actual tone, the challenge of capturing "vibe" in marketing, and Leonardo DiCaprio’s interesting adult career trajectory.
  • Luke: "I can't think of a movie where you see it and you go, oh, [DiCaprio] just did that to make a bunch of money." (26:57)

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5. Barroom Showdown: "One Abbey After Another"

• Time: 27:59–67:45
• Signature Segment: Andrew’s Bleachers Bar Story

a) The Set-up

• Andrew, Genevieve, and friends are at Bleachers in Greenwood during a Mariners game.
• Bar has cozy, regulars' vibe; Andrew emphasizes social rituals and etiquette of returning glasses to the bar.

b) The Confrontation

• Andrew innocently places his empty pint on the bar near a temporarily empty stool. A returning patron is incensed, slams the glass back at Andrew’s table, and calls him an asshole.
  • Andrew: "He slams it down in front of me. He's like, I don't want your glass...Now, keep in mind, he wasn't there."
  • Andrew (sarcastic): "'You seem like a really nice guy. Everything going okay for you today?'" (40:09)

c) The Escalation & Passive Aggression

• Andrew, agitated, later places a disposable water cup near the instigator and walks away ("I just didn't want him to have the last word.").
• The man physically confronts Andrew in the hallway, throws the cup at him (which lands feebly), then follows him into the bathroom for a final, blustery but unproductive harangue.
  • Andrew: "It was so impotent...It is so impotent. And that's why it's so much better than being like, oh, that's assault. It's like, no, that's not assault. It doesn't go assault on his dignity." (51:44)
  • Luke: "Nobody expects a headbutt as your come out roll." (73:45)

d) Reflection: Adrenaline and Anxiety Aftermath

• Andrew reveals the agitation lingered but, in the end, neither man escalated further. Andrew gets a last passive dig ("Just don't put any glasses by this guy. He hates glasses.").

e) TBTL Tone: Affirming Each Other's Experiences

• Luke reflects on sticking up for friends, the adrenaline of confrontation, and the “two wolves” approach: violence vs. narc-ing.

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6. Organization, Uniformity, and Stages of Adulthood

• Time: 28:34–30:57
• A detour on home/wardrobe organization: the appeal of matched coffee mugs and moving away from eclectic personal relics towards uniformity and order.
  • Andrew: "I'm slowly phasing them out and just buying plain colored T shirts..."

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7. Travel Oddities: Luke’s Bizarre Baggage Claim

• Time: 77:49–93:18

a) The Mystery of the Disappearing Flight Crew

• Luke shares a "mind-freak" story: after being first off his flight in Portland, he visits the restroom briefly only to find no one from his plane, and his bag already "pulled" and set aside as if it's been abandoned for hours.
  • Luke: "This is some David Copperfield shit...I got off the airplane. I walked to the baggage carousel, where that was not in motion. I went into the restroom for 25 seconds and relieved myself..." (87:29–88:43)

b) Gaslighting via Good Service

• Asks for help from airline staff, who kindly assume the bag must be there—he feels like a lost soul, half convinced reality has warped.
• Both hosts riff on travel confusion, the sense that bureaucracy can sometimes leave you questioning your own grip on reality.

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8. Listener Engagement: Donor Thanks & Musical Pet Videos

• Time: 74:16–79:09 and 96:18–99:09
• A traditional donor thank-you segment, rich with quips about each location and recurring themes (e.g., "Should we do a live podcast from Folsom Prison?").
• Andrew plays an audio clip from a listener, Annie, whose harmonica—received as a thank-you gift—inspires spontaneous dog howling.
  • Andrew: "That dog is singing!"
  • Annie shares that she was surprised by her dog's musical response.

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9. Cultural Detritus: The Problem With Old Songs & Memory

• Time: 99:18–102:31
• Luke and Andrew riff on the problematic origins of old American folk songs:
  • Luke: "That feels racist to me, Camptown Races...Turkey in the Straw is definitely racist."
• Andrew tells a bittersweet story about karaoke at his mother's care facility and the deep-seated connection to music as memory.

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10. Civic Anxiety: “Wild” and “Scary” in Portland

• Time: 103:32–106:02
• Luke closes with candid observations about media narratives vs. the mundane reality of living near a supposedly “lawless” ICE facility in Portland.
  • Luke: "I was at the place yesterday...Not just—I knew it was all. I knew it was in LA...but it's for me, it's never been the case that I could just say, oh, yeah, I was at the place...it is. I like, whatever. I'm just preaching to the choir on this one because everybody else is enraptured. But it is, right? It's wild out there, people."

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Memorable Quotes

• Andrew (on Paul Thomas Anderson’s films): "Most P.T. Anderson movies for me, I watch them and I’m entertained and deeply confused. And then upon rewatching...then I become a bigger fan, in retrospect, of the film." (04:46)
• Luke (on moviegoing mishap): "You were in one Giamatti after another." (16:04)
• Andrew (returning glass etiquette): "That's what you do at a bar when you're done with your drink. You try to get it as close to the bartender as possible so they can bus it." (35:45)
• Andrew (about adversary): "You seem like a really nice guy. Everything going okay for you today?" (40:05)
• Andrew (on male bar behavior): "It was so impotent...It is so impotent. And that's why it's so much better than being like, oh, that's assault. It's like, no, that's not assault. It doesn't go assault on his dignity." (51:44)
• Luke (about headbutts): "Nobody expects a headbutt as your come out roll." (73:45)
• Luke (on being gaslit by good service): "I was sort of getting...well, you just don't understand...then I moved, like, this much so that I had a different vantage point. And then I saw my suitcase...and then I went, oh, well, there it is." (90:13)
• Andrew (on karaoke in care facilities): "...people were kind of doing karaoke for the very first time and doing songs that were like, almost nursery rhymes..." (102:11)
• Luke (on Portland): "The families bringing their grandparents to ye olde spaghetti factory on Sundays have had absolutely zero interruption in their experience." (105:47)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:22 – Opening banter on Instagram caption etiquette
• 03:50–20:30 – Moviegoing misadventure story
• 27:59–67:45 – The Bleachers Bar controversy (full arc)
• 77:49–93:18 – Baffling baggage claim at PDX
• 96:18–99:09 – Listener Annie’s harmonica and her singing dog
• 99:18–102:31 – Thoughts on karaoke, music memory, and problematic songs

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Conclusion

A quintessential TBTL episode: at once meandering and tightly wound, full of inside jokes, public humiliations, personal growth, and the joy (and nervousness) of human interaction. If you’ve ever overthought an everyday decision, found yourself in an accidental showdown, or wondered whether your bag exists in this dimension, this episode is for you.

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Please note, ad breaks, show intros/outros, and credits are omitted in this summary.

Transcript

[Genevieve]

Let me see it. Is it cute? Yeah, it's so cute. Send it to me. Me too. Okay, look what I just posted. Brunch with these two dum dums.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my gosh. So good. Is this good?

[Genevieve]

I said Sunday Funday with these idiots. Yeah, that's good. That's great. So cute. Okay, okay. So cute. Look what I just posted. Eating crap with these sacks of. If they died tomorrow, no one would shed a tear. So cute.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, what the hell?

[Genevieve]

You called me a dumb dumb and she called me an idiot. So yeah, when you post a pic of yourself where you look really cute, then you have to say a little self deprecating so it doesn't look like you're just bragging. Oh, all right. This is good. Slopping down some pig with these fat and I'm the fattest of them all. If I died tomorrow, no one would shed a tear load my frickin lard carcass into the mud. No coppin, please. Just wet, wet mud, bae. Jesus, Brenda. All right, I got ya. Gulping down some pig with these bags of meat. Sunday Funday with these pig. Hope nobody gulps us. So are we the pig or the bags of meat? Okay, let me try another one. Sitting here with two bonafide pieces of hog. They're mad cause I won best hog at the hog snarfing contest. But I'm not mad cause we're all loads of beef sitting on the side of a highway getting our butts sucked by flies. I tagged you both in that. Why? Why are you guys bullying me?

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl. Maybe he saw his reflection and thought, mm, mm, mm. I'm flying in hot for that hottie.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like your own mini garden. And well, now that you think about.

[Genevieve]

It, it's kind of fun seeing how good it grows.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's kind of like, you know, kids.

[Genevieve]

Like. It's kind of like kids growing up.

[Luke Burbank]

My podcast is on life support. Hey, I need new listeners.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to be the bad boy of public radio like Elvis Mitchell.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of tb, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. If you don't like drama, you might want to put your phone away for this one. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. That's the worst name I ever heard. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. I got home last night and it was pouring down rain and I. I put some soup on. I put the got the fire going and the old pellet soup stove and I, I emotionally settled in for, for cozy season. I was, I was, I was getting into it. I was getting ready for, for the fall to be here and, and all of that. And then I looked out the window this morning when I got up and.

[Andrew Walsh]

It'S like, oh, ma pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful. Bright blue skies and it's absolutely gorgeous here. So we'll take it. Soon the Oma pa It's just beautiful. Will turn to Denzel Washington saying, didn't know you like to get wet though. Like the swallows returning to Capistrano. It's how TBT listeners know that the seasons are changing around here, as are the episode numbers of the show. Today we are at episode 4565 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. The New York Times rolled something out, I don't know, a year ago that I absolutely fell in love with. And now they're rolling it in and rolling it up and no longer supporting it. You gotta be kidding me. Makes me sad. And yet I continue to subscribe and I continue to learn things from the New York Times, even about cell phone technology.

[Andrew Walsh]

Intelligence for your life, which we may.

[Luke Burbank]

Talk about today if we get to it. Speaking of folks who are highly intelligent, let me tell you about the longest running cobra of the show. He may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships.

[Andrew Walsh]

Come on brain, think of things. Come on, brain.

[Luke Burbank]

He's so smart and he is Andrew Walsh, who's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. You know that I'm a big fan of setting reasonable expectations and not people's hopes up. Whether it's about my own personality or any task I am told to do, but also when it comes to film. But I'm sitting here looking at a list of all of P.T. anderson's movies and I think I have a new favorite one. I told you before I've got to.

[Luke Burbank]

Go see this movie tonight.

[Andrew Walsh]

That I went to see one battle after another yesterday and it's like that is such high praise because we love his stuff and I know a lot of our listeners do as well. And I don't want to over set expectations so that other people are disappointed. But I'll just say this film really worked for me. It really worked for me. It's a three hour film and you feel like you ran a race by the time you leave the theater.

[Luke Burbank]

I need to go see this movie probably tonight because I was seeing. I started skipping past the reviews on TikTok of it because they were so universally positive that I was like, I can't see any more of these because it's going to infect my brain. And I'm going to go in expecting something transcendent, and that's unattainable. And I want to try to go in with a fresh set of eyes and a reasonable set of expectations. But now you're telling me this, and my worry is, this is the thing. This is my. My relationship with. With pretty much with most Paul Thomas Anderson films, with the exception of Boogie Nights and probably Hard Eight, which I loved both of those. Upon first viewing, most P.T. anderson movies for me, I watch them and I'm. I'm entertained and deeply confused. And then upon, like, There Will Be Blood, like, I don't know. I wouldn't say deeply confused, just kind of like, not exactly sure why people are necessarily doing the things they're doing at certain times. But I'm intrigued by the action on the screen. And then upon rewatching or talking to you or other people, then I become a bigger fan, in retrospect, of the film. That's usually how these movies now go down for me because there are a lot to take in, usually.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, maybe I should rewatch There Will Be Blood because again, I'm looking at this list. It looks like he's made about 10 movies. I'm not counting right now, but it looks like about 10. I think there Will Be Blood would be. Let's see, I've seen them all except for the Master. And There Will Be Blood is like, my least favorite. I've never gone back to rewatch it. I just remember I'm not a big fan of what I like to call or what Genevieve calls scenery chewing. And you have some of that in Magnolia. I used to absolutely love Magnolia, but I don't know if I could go.

[Luke Burbank]

Back and watch, like right now. Bingo is trying to chew the scenery.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can see him on the screen.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, Hard to miss.

[Andrew Walsh]

This used to be his large, large.

[Luke Burbank]

Tween cat entered the. Has logged on.

[Andrew Walsh]

He used to nap around this time. Now he hangs out in here. I don't know what's going on with him, but yeah, there was so much, like all I remember about punch. I'm sorry about There Will Be Blood was just like, I drink your milkshake. And him freaking out in a bowling alley and me being like, I don't know how we got into this bowling alley. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that was. That was. My takeaway is someday I might have a home bowling alley that was the only. That was the only thing that really.

[Luke Burbank]

Like stuck with the violent death.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Of, of. Of Paul Dano.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I could remember his name. I could picture his little face. But anyway, I like licorice pizza. I don't know if you saw that one, but we'll have to go through them all, but one battle after another. Yeah, really worth seeing. I'm just saying if you happen to have it also. Maybe I'm thinking about it too, because you mentioned the weather. It's like kind of not if you're. If you catch yourself on one of those rainy days in the next couple of days and you want to just like kind of hide from the rain a little bit. The. The theater for three hours is a good place to be. Although I walked into the wrong theater yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I went to one of those adult ones.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know what was going on. There were like these holes on the wall.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if it's an adult theater. What.

[Andrew Walsh]

I went to. The local AMC right here in my neighborhood is very walkable. And it was like a 4 o' clock movie or 430 showing or something along the lines of that. And so they're not quite set up. They have like one person who's like. They have a robot that you buy your tickets from, right? And then you go and you get your popcorn. And it's like a. A young person working there who's very, very, very friendly, by the way. And just like seemed to kind of in serving me popcorn in a soda seemed to go above and beyond somehow in ways I can't quite explain. But since there wasn't anybody actually taking my ticket, there was nobody to direct me to the proper theater. And there's about, I think, five little, you know, screening rooms at this amc and they don't have the traditional, like little marquee over each door that says, this is the movie that's playing in this theater. They have a bunch of movie posters around, but some of them are for upcoming movies and some of them are for movies that are playing right now. And so when I buy my ticket on this, you know, touch screen device, I have to choose my seat in advance, which I don't actually love, but I chose like, I'll just say. Cause I don't think it. Anybody's gonna stalk me now. I think I chose D15 and I noticed it was one of the smaller theaters, one of the smaller screening rooms. And so I get my, get my ticket, I get my popcorn, my soda. It was a graveyard. Luke I'm trying to teach myself to use the term graveyard. I grew up calling it something else, but I was pretty excited about that. And then I go into the theater. I'm like, whoa, this is one of the bigger theaters. And I'm like, well, why would I have chosen. There was something. What's the word I'm looking for? Incongruous. Is that a word? Yeah, about. Very much a word about, like, what it looked like when I bought my ticket or chose my seat on the screen. And then walking to this theater, it seemed like, oh, this is one of the bigger ones, not one of the smaller theaters in this building. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, why did I choose the seat that I chose? It'd be like if I was picking my seat on the airplane. And then I thought I was one of those two sets of road, like, two, you know, chair two seats on either side. And then I get on, it's an international flight, and there's a middle row of five seats. I'm like, what was I doing?

[Andrew Walsh]

Good analogy. Because I go. And I'm like, well, this is bigger. And then I realized, D15. That's way closer to the screen.

[Luke Burbank]

D2 Roy.

[Andrew Walsh]

D2 Roy. Exactly. That's Genevieve's T shirt. And your future T shirt, I believe, from the Detroiters. Love that show. But anyway, so I'm like, well, this is kind of strange. And then in the back of my head now, I want to say I chose a theater, that its doors were open, sound was blasting from the theaters, and I was there right around the time that the trailer should be running. And the movie poster that was hanging outside this particular theater was the one for one battle after another. And I'm like, okay, trailers are running. Seems like everything is timing out here. And the movie poster is next to it. This has got to be the right theater. So I go in and I sit down. But I don't choose my D15 seat because I'm like, this is too close to the screen. What was I doing choosing this? I sit back a few rows, and I'm like, if I have to move for somebody, I will. But also, there's tons of seats and hardly anybody in here. I'm also thinking it looked like there were more seats taken when I bought my ticket. Why is this place so empty? Although I will say that people are coming to the theater later and later to avoid all the commercials now. So anyway, I sit down, and I'm watching the trailers, and in the back of my head, I can't quiet this little voice that says, could I be in the wrong theater. Like now. Timing is right, but the theater seems strange. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Are the trailers that you're seeing also some sort of an indicator that you might not be in? Cause I'm trying to think of the kinds of trailers I might see before one battle after another would be very different than maybe I would see before the Minecraft movie 2, which I assume is already in theaters.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it seemed pretty on brand. It was Milo and Stitch.

[Luke Burbank]

Lilo and Stitch.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, this was something else called Milo and Stitch. Actually there's, I believe, a copyright lawsuit going on right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Definitely the TEMU brand of LILO and.

[Andrew Walsh]

St. No, it's funny you should say that because I was sort of thinking that too. Like, Luke, this is one of those situations where I'm sitting there and first of all, it's a very low stakes thing. I don't want to make it sound like I'm freaking out or anything, but I'm telling myself, Andrew, you're being a paranoid idiot here. Like, the timing works out. The trailers are running. The trailers were for sort of dramas and stuff. And I did note, I'm like, these movies seem to suck. Like the movies that they were advertising. I was like, wow, I wouldn't see any of these with your eyes, you know, And I was like, but I mean, not, not terrible, but just like kind of dramas and they were just aimed at, I don't know, I was like, they didn't send any alarms off. Like, this is definitely the wrong theater. But I was definitely disappointed in what they were advertising to me. And so I just have this voice in my head the whole time, is this the wrong theater or not? And then, you know, and I go to so many AMC movies now or so many movies at the amc because that's so close to me. So I know exactly which Coke commercial is going to play. The young man and his date are going appear in various cinematic scenes. They're going to dance together, they're going to race cars together. And then at the end they're going to end up in their seats in the movie theater drinking their Coke and eating their popcorn together. And then my favorite actress, whose name I can never remember, comes on the screen and says heartbreak. Yeah, they have a new edit of that though, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

She's unfortunately separating from Keith Urban. We're hearing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I didn't know that they were together.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, for 20 years.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now she's with. Yeah, Rick.

[Luke Burbank]

Rural.

[Andrew Walsh]

Huge twist that nobody saw coming.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I get the joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

I get jokes. So Bad. You don't have to. By the way, that was not me begging for an acknowledgment there. It was best to sweep that one under the rug. Anyway, I think you see where this is going. I watch it all through, and then I'm like, well, as the lights dim now. Cause they kind of keep them somewhat on during the trailers and the lights dim, and I'm like, well, here we go. I've got a note from the very first moment of this movie, whether or not I'm in the right theater. And I've seen the trailer for One Battle After Another several times, so I feel like I'm gonna get the vibe. I'm also guessing it's gonna begin in a flashback. That's one thing I know about the movies. I think it's gonna take place in, like. I think it's gonna take place. The beginning is gonna take place in a previous time, and then it's gonna catch up. I just kind of got that feeling from the trailer. And the very first thing I see, though, is like, 1940s New York City, I think. I think it's New York City. It's kind of got a Broadway feel to it. It's like glitter and glamour and. But it's like the 40s, and it's got a font that I don't trust. It's got, like a dainty little font, like a period piece font. And I'm like, I don't. I don't know about this. I don't know about this. I look at my watch, I'm like.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, but are you. Are you trying to also. Because it's Paul Thomas Anderson and you. And you never know what he's going to be up to. I mean, that's part of the problem with this. You're not seeing. You're seeing a Paul Thomas Anderson movie. Everything's on the table.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, right. Exactly. Toads could be falling from the sky.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or they could just be sewing.

[Luke Burbank]

Tom Cruise could. Right, thank you. Tom Cruise could be doing a Tom Lykis impression. Or Daniel Day Lewis could be fully immersed in the Phantom threading.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. So anyway, I'm watching this. I'm like, I don't think this starts in the 40s. I know it's gonna start in sometime that isn't modern day, but I don't think I'm thinking, like, 70s radicalism or 80s radicalism or something. And then I'm watching. They're showing who's gonna be in the movie, and I'm like, do they save the Biggest name for last. Cause I'm not seeing DiCaprio. The old Leo. Yeah. And I'm just like. And then Luke, who do I see? And I should have been prepared for this moment. But I saw Paul Giamatti's name and I'm like, he's not in this. Paul Giamatti is not in this movie. I'm like, I'm scanning myself.

[Luke Burbank]

You were in one Giamatti after another.

[Andrew Walsh]

I certainly was.

[Luke Burbank]

They shouldn't put those movies next to each other. It's very confusing.

[Andrew Walsh]

They really shouldn't. So here's what I do. I don't want to like turn on my phone and start. I do kind of take it seriously. Like my phone's too bright right at the beginning of a movie. I don't want to disturb people around me by having a bright phone. So I quickly get up. I think I grabbed my popcorn on my soda because I'm pretty sure I'm in the wrong place. But I go to the very back of the theater. I want to keep eyes on the screen in case I'm just being punked here by Paul Thomas Anderson. And I just whisper into my phone, new movies with Paul Giamatti. And I see what comes up and Downton Abbey comes up and I'm like, I'm in frickin Downton Abbey. And this makes more sense. I don't know for sure. Somebod could ding me on that. Maybe it wasn't the 40s. I only saw like the very beginning of a movie that just seemed like the wrong vibe. And it definitely was showing some sort of busy street, some sort of urban scape from like a times gone by or something. But it just had a cheerfulness and a magical quality to it that I just thought was wrong. So I run back out and I'm like carrying my popcorn and my soda because now I don't know, am I missing the beginning of this movie? And I know.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you missing the first battle that will be followed exactly, allegedly by another.

[Andrew Walsh]

And there's one thing I do think about this film is like, this isn't the Naked Gun. I. I don't want to miss the first moment of this movie. This is gonna be an epic movie. And even if I can follow it, I don't wanna miss the beginning of it. So I kind of race back into the lobby area and now they're starting to set up for the evening crowd. Like now they're starting to set up some stanchions and there, it looks like there's maybe going to be A ticket taker at this one spot. But when I went in there, it was to like afternoon and nobody cared. I probably could have just walked straight into the theater without even paying for anything.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I tell you what, if I encounter that robot, I'm. I'm putting myself down. Or a baby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, good call. Yes. Or a senior baby.

[Luke Burbank]

If I have a senior baby, I'm putting myself down as an elderly baby, which is double discount. Which means it's $2. If you're going to make me. If you're going to. If you are going to remove the human interaction of me getting to talk through that little glass, you know, the hole in the glass at the booth or the little microphone deal. If I don't get that experience, I'm getting the senior baby discount. Amc.

[Andrew Walsh]

That microphone purposely distorts sound, right?

[Luke Burbank]

And I love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's made so that you can't have a conversation.

[Luke Burbank]

And I love everything about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I need that at a party. What do you do for a living?

[Luke Burbank]

I understand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. So anyway, I wasn't. I take it out to this, this guy who's now it's like a different kid behind the popcorn stand. I'm like, I don't know where I'm supposed to be. And I'm holding my ticket and nobody's torn it in half, clearly. So he's like, well, can I see your ticket? And he looks, can you tear that ticket for you? No, there was nobody taking tickets. I bought the ticket, then I bought popcorn. That's what I'm saying. So nobody said it's this theater around the corner.

[Luke Burbank]

You didn't self rip?

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't, no. I just kept it together. I thought I'd put it in my scrapbook. So anyway, the kid does take. But this was my embarrassing moment is I kept looking at the ticket and my eyesight is not that good. And it's one of those tickets, it's on a printed piece of paper. But you know how it's not like, like just unadorned paper. It's like not plain paper. It's like got some pattern below it that shows that it's actually ticket paper or something. It's like at this minute pattern of a little grid of blocks or whatever. And then it's sort of. I can see D15, but like a lot of the other stuff is just not that readable on it. And I don't see theater number. Now there might have been a number on this tiny ticket that indicated the theater, but it was not clear to me. I kept Looking at it, I had to ask this child who was working there to tell me where to go. He terr. He's like, let me see your ticket. I'm like, it's one after another. He's like, let me see your ticket. I'm like, okay, hand it to him. He tears it in half. Clearly. He's like, well, somebody wasn't doing their job. Yeah. So I threw the other half away. But he's like, it's right around the corner. But my point is, why would you put the movie poster for a movie that is not playing in that theater next to that theater door? And I did not miss it, by the way. I run into the theater that he tells me to go into. I rewatch the same Coke commercial that I had just seen. I rewatched Rick Rural's wife's little memory encouragement to go to the theater. And luckily, I didn't miss a moment of the movie. But it was. It was one of those moments where I thought I was being so ridiculous with my paranoia of being in the wrong theater. But in this case, my instincts were right. I was in the wrong theater.

[Luke Burbank]

See, trust your fears.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I said.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the big takeaway from tbtl, because. And things like this have happened to me before with the airlines and other things where I am. In fact, in a way, it happened to me yesterday with the airline. This is not a story about me flying home. It's a story about me trying to get my luggage after the flight. But, like, I'm like you. I'm in a constant state in certain situations, like in a place where I've taken a number and now I'm in line for a thing. My awareness is very heightened. You might say I'm highly anxious because I don't want to get skipped over in line or I don't want them to go over my name. You know, when you're writing your names with the host stand of like, you know, table for two or whatever, I'm always in a very agitated elevated state of being concerned about getting passed over or there being a misunderstanding or somebody else getting our table. And the thing is, about 99% of the time that's unnecessary, but there's that 1% where they actually did kind of get confused or pass you over or whatever. I've had that happen. One time I was flying home from somewhere and my ticket, I was supposed to be next in line for an upgrade, and then it just shorted out the whole system. And instead of trusting that the system would Rectify itself. I went up there and said, hi. What happened? And they said, oh, we don't know. Were you next in line? And I said, yes. And they said, okay. And then just, like, wrote me in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, nice.

[Luke Burbank]

And so this was like that for you. Like, if you would have just been sitting back and just, you know, trusting the hashtag process like Joelle Embiid, you could have been halfway through Downton Abbey before you realized you were in the wrong movie. You would have missed the mo. The most critical first battle. So, like, that's why it was good that you had that little voice in your head kind of that was causing you to be uneasy. It helped you get to the movie you wanted to see before you missed any of the important stuff. Did you feel a little like Leo DiCaprio's character running around that theater with your popcorn and your. And your soda and you're going to. To your sensei and you're trying to get proper weapons? I know that's in the movie, apparently.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think. Well, here's one thing that I want to mention about that is I saw the trailer for this movie a bunch. In fact, I think I saw two different cuts. I think I saw two different trailers, and I knew as soon as I saw those a P.T. anderson movie, especially knowing that it was another adaptation of Pinch of a Punch on novel.

[Luke Burbank]

And I didn't know that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I liked Inherent Vice, which was the movie he did before this. Although Inherent Vice is just a total mood piece. Luke, like, I don't know if you've seen that or not. I love it, but don't watch it expecting any kind of. Any kind of plot resolution or even understanding what's going on halfway through it. But it's still. I still think you would like it. It's just such a vibe. Having said that, I was very excited about this movie, but the trailers themselves do not capture how good the movie is. And I saw somebody say that on Blueski, and I was glad to hear it before I went to the theater, because I was like, I'm excited about this movie because of all the DNA that I know is in this movie. But the trailers themselves were not as flashy as I expected them to be. But then when you see the movie, you're like, oh, yeah, this would be. It's not like there's a bunch of secret stuff that they're withholding from you. It's just a really hard sort of story. And I guess, again, vibe to capture.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Because I've watched the trailer, like, at least two or three times. And it's if, if I go to the movie now, I'm going because of the reviews and because of your indication that you liked it and stuff. But mostly I would just be going on reputation on Paul Thomas Anderson's reputation and I guess Leo DiCaprio's reputation because the trailer is weird. He's like running around a convenience store. He's trying to talk on a cell phone. He's trying to. He's trying to get a gun from his sensei, but he's bowing his way out of the dojo, you know, like, I had to sort of trust that these folks coming together would make a movie that was really entertaining. I also, I know that we don't have this on the show sheet today, but like, I also just think the career of Leonardo DiCaprio and I should say the abilities of Leonardo DiCaprio is really quite something to me because, like, you know, he could have taken a totally different road in his acting life. I mean, he was just kind of that sort of typical, like, hotshot leading man, you know, kind of very nice looking guy who was Gatsby or whatever. Like, he just. I just feel like he must. That guy's got some kind of inner life that I, that I'm. I guess some sort of inner artistic life that I find very interesting because he just consistently does in some of it is like, you know, is the Revenant 1 giant scenery chew? Is the Revenant 1 giant popsicle chew, you know?

[Andrew Walsh]

You saw that. Did you see that, by the way? I did. I never saw that one. It didn't seem like my kind of movie.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it's, it's, it's. I found it quite, quite intriguing, but because it's almost like it's sort of the Tom Cruise does his own stunts thing. It's like the sheer impossibility of the making of that film based on just like the weather alone that they were all famously tolerating. It's a really good movie. Like, honestly, I think you'd like it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wouldn't be just anxious. I always for some reason thought, and this doesn't make a lot of sense, but there are certain kinds of movies that I think, oh, they're just going to make me anxious the whole time. Like, man stuck in crevasse for 172 hours or people stuck in the ocean with sharks around them. You know, like, what was that when Lost? You know, whatever, they're on a piece of wood for like the entire movie in the ocean or something. I have Never seen it, but those kinds of movies. I thought the Revenant might give me those feelings.

[Luke Burbank]

It might, actually. This is man stuck in minus 20 degree temperature who's been like, I think, you know, sort of beaten to within. I forget what his exact injuries are, but he's, like, really hurt and it's really cold and he has, like one functional finger and he just has to pull himself out of the Yukon by one finger.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. Yes. That doesn't. And again, I'm not saying that it would be a bad movie. It just seems like it would be a bad movie for my personality. Maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, maybe not. Maybe not for you. But all that is to say, like, I gotta give Leo DiCaprio some credit. Like, he. He is a. You know, he seems like a person who is drawn towards projects that I, you know, I generally vibe with. Like, he's. He's just. I don't know why. I don't know why. That's a surprise to me. I mean, maybe his. Most of his adult life career, he's been making kind of interesting movies versus. I guess what I mean is there's probably some exception to this rule, but I can't really think of a movie right now where you see it and you go, oh, he just did that to make a bunch of money. Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Good call. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I can't. I can't. I can't think of an example of that. Of one of those movies. Certainly he's been in plenty of movies that probably didn't exactly hit or the ambition of the film wasn't fully realized in the final product, as happens. But I can't think of too many movies where it's like, oh, he's just playing. He's playing the lead astronaut who has to go up to space to paint one side of an asteroid so that it doesn't hit Earth as Aerosmith is playing. Like, I don't. I can't think of many examples of those movies where it's. He's the one carrying it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, maybe. Maybe Critters three. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I always forget Critters three.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm just looking at movies that he's been in. Apparently he was in Critters three, I'm guessing, as a very young person, because it was 1991 and Gilbert Grape was 1993. Gilbert Grape, yeah. I'm just looking at that now. I didn't actually have critters three at the top of my DiCaprio list. I'm learning this along with you well.

[Luke Burbank]

From one cinematic battle to another almost battle. You said something to me right before the show, which is that you almost got into it with someone.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm gonna maybe call this one Abby after another. If you're wondering what I'm typing there.

[Luke Burbank]

Like it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't get into it with somebody. Somebody got into it with me at a bar this weekend. Whoa. Yes. I'm gonna close my door.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, sure. That's fair. I'm gonna order some coffee cups off of Amazon while Andrew is closing his door. We've all got a lot going on.

[Andrew Walsh]

For some reason. I just got really.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't realize your headphones had a long enough cable that you could hear that.

[Andrew Walsh]

These headphones are like the. The telephone cord that we used to have in the one room in our house on the landline growing up. You could like.

[Luke Burbank]

If you want to know what my version of hex empire is, Andrew, it's peeping. It's peeping things that I might need to buy for the home environment. Maybe we can talk about this on a future day. I'm thinking about converting over to a lifestyle that involves a full set of coffee mugs that go together instead of a melange, which is an enjoyable thing, but it's starting to feel a little bit too scrappy in my house.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, this is a real interesting conversation, actually. I know what you're talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

Why don't we take.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I used to sort of be that way with T shirts a little bit, and now I'm getting rid of all T shirts that have anything. Cause I would buy T shirts that would have some sort of saying on it or a cultural reference or just something that would spark joy in me, and it was something I loved. And I would see a T shirt. Oh, that sparks joy. But I would only wear them underneath collared shirts anyway, so nobody saw it. And I didn't mind that it was like, it sparks joy when I put it on, and then I cover it up and that's fine. But then I have just gotten to a point where, like, I'm like, I have so many just weird bric a brac T shirts, and I'm, like, slowly phasing them out and just buying plain colored T shirts to put on underneath my shirts in the wintertime. And I understand the appeal of wanting to do something more uniform.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, because I'm starting to. I've been on this big organization project lately, and why don't we do this?

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's table this.

[Luke Burbank]

But I really want to talk. I want to talk kitchen organization. Coffee mugs and Also dry goods storage with you at a future date because I have been. You want to talk about. You want to talk about. Wait. Kerning. Are we kerning or noling?

[Andrew Walsh]

Knolling is photos. Kerning is files.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Nolling. You want to talk about nolling? Dude, I have got. I've got a dry goods drawer in my kitchen that it would just. I want to take a picture and send it to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is because it's well organized. You mean? Or old within an inch of its.

[Luke Burbank]

Life because I've been buying what I've been. We'll come back.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't even have. I'm dreading this conversation because I'm going to be so jealous. Like, I can't even. We have these cupboards where you open them, and it's like I was looking for rice yesterday and I had to like, get a shovel to get it out.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was underneath so many brains that we never used. It's just. I would.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's. Let's talk about. Let's talk about your. Your. Your near beef. And then if there's any time left on the show, we can get into organization talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

So the other day, I'm gonna say it was Friday evening. I'm gonna say it and I'm gonna mean it, because it was Luke indeed, Friday evening. And the Mariners were playing the first game of series against the Dodgers. But it was a meaningless game.

[Luke Burbank]

I was surprised at how much chatter there still was about those games on the criminals, which I actually found to be comforting. I was in the Twin Cities. I was totally checked out because I was like, well, the Mariners have achieved their goal. And then I liked that you all were still kind of like plugged in and talking about a little bit about like, you know, I think Polanco. I think Rango got a three run home run and stuff. And like, I thought that was fun. But yes, that series was not critical to the Mariners fortune that had already been sort of locked in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, not at all. I think people were watching. And I'll be honest with you, on Friday night, I went to watch with some friends because they wanted to get together and watch the game. And after that, I don't think I really did pay much attention to Saturday and Sunday. I think other folks did. I think everybody was a little bit on Cal Raleigh home run watch, which was.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, the game really has nothing to do with this. But so I went to this bar that I really like, and I'm there enough so that the bartender would recognize me. I'M not like a regular there, but I'm somebody who goes in there maybe, I don't know, once a month or so during the summer to watch a baseball game. And it's called Bleachers there in Greenwood. And you know, Bleachers used to be in a different building around the corner. This woman has been working there for like 25 years and now she. She's either. I don't think she's the owner, but she's the manager of the place. But like, you know, she's a familiar face. I think I can say hello to her when I get there and see recognition in her eyes. There's a reason I'm bringing that up because I feel like I'm not like some anonymous guy in this bar, but I'm also not like some regular who people would know my name or anything like that. But the front of Bleachers is a little bit weird. It's more of an open space with some high top tables and some dartboards and stuff and some sports TV' around. I guess they're TVs that can play anything, but they're playing sports because it's a sports bar called Bleachers and I don't like to sit in the front. It's a little bit of a weird non cozy feel to me. But when you get to the back part of the bar, that's where the actual bar is. And let's say there's about 15 stools you can sit at and then there's like maybe four tables back there. And it's a pretty decent place to watch sports and you can count on them having. It's not like kind of a, I'll use a word that people don't like, but it's not like a douchey sports bar, but it is a bar where if the Mariners are playing, they're going to have the sound on, you know. And that's what my friend Nick was looking for. He's moved back to Seattle after being away for a while and he's having an issue that other sports fan friends of mine are having, which is finding a bar that kind of gets excited about the fact that the Mariner not just a cluster of people at a bar who might be watching a game, but like having a feel that like if Cal Rowley does something special, the bar will go crazy, the sound will be on, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

And it is incredible how important the soundtrack matching up to the visuals is. And this comes up all the time in football watching because you go to a certain bar and they may have 12 games going, but what the game that they decide to use the audio of through the speakers? That's the important question.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. In fact, I feel like I've been waiting my whole life. It wasn't my whole Life. It was 15 years, but I feel like I was waiting 15 years for the Mariners to actually clinch the division. And I was watching that game, you know, at a different bar earlier last week with friends at Teddy's, where. Where the. The Mariners clinch their position in the playoffs back in 2022. And I remember it was like a real memory for me. I was there with a bunch of friends. The sound was on. The whole bar went crazy. When Cal hit that home run. Fast forward to 2025, whatever day it was last week, Wednesday or Thursday, they didn't have the sound on. And even though I was there with a table of people rooting for the Mariners, and we were right next to another table, and we were all, like, sort of almost like, together, even though we didn't know these other people, we were all dialed into the game and enjoying it. Not having the sound on when they actually clinched was so anticlimactic. And also, the game wasn't very, you know, wasn't an edge of your seat game anyway. It was kind of the end was very foreseeable early on. But still, like, them clinching. I'll never forget them clinching to the sound of, like, a relatively mellow Beck song was so disappointing to me. I was just like. I was.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember, why are they playing Sea Change in this bar?

[Andrew Walsh]

I was like.

[Luke Burbank]

And again, I love Teddy's beat number.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love the music that they play. I love Teddy's. But, like, I regretted not earlier maybe asking the bartender to put the sound on. I think I was tempted to, but I felt like if the answer was no, that would have lived in my head too much. You ever. I don't think you're like this, but I'm like, sometimes I don't ask for things because I don't want to live with the reality of somebody telling me no. Then it'll ruin the experience even more because I'll be a little butthurt about it. I'm not a very mature person. Anyway. Anyway, let's come back to this story.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's Friday night.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's Friday night.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you at the Vibe? Did you say no?

[Andrew Walsh]

I meant Bleachers. So this is. Again, again. So the point of all this is Bleachers is the way they have the sound on for the game. I'm Sitting here with Genevieve and my buddy Nick. We're waiting for another friend to show up at a, at a table in the back of the bar where I like to be like, literally everything is like they, they turn on this other TV for us so that like Nick can watch the TV over my shoulder. I'm watching the TV over his shoulder. Like everybody's got a good view of it. Like the Vibes, even though I'm not at the bar, called the Vibe. The Vibes are great. Great. And at one point, the very hard working bartender comes by and actually comes to our table and like takes another drink order or something. Usually I try to go to the bar so that she doesn't have to like kind of worry about going to the tables, but she comes and she takes another drink order and then also kind of buses the table. It's kind of a really busy night. You can tell that she wants her glasses back, you know, so you can wash them and reuse them with other customers. And I have a glass in front of me that I haven't quite finished drinking yet. So she sets down another drink, busses the other empty glasses and I just kind of keep my, my little extra glass until I finish my drink. And then, I don't know, five minutes later I'm done with my drink and I'm holding the pint glass and I think, well, I'll put this up on the bar. I mean, this is a move I do all the time. I'm like, well, I don't want to just keep this glass sitting here at the table with me. They need it behind the bar. So I get up and the bar is crowded. There's no stools free at the bar, but it's clear where one person was sitting. They've gotten up to use the restroom or smoke a cigarette or something because there's an area where I can get up, reach and set. I take my pint glass and I put it all the way at the back of the bar, kind of where this empty, this temporarily empty stool is, right? But I put it all the way at the edge of the bar, meaning the closest to the bartender's area as possible so that one of the bartenders can just grab it. I'm explaining this in great detail. I shouldn't have to. I've done this a million times. That's what you do at a bar when you're done with your drink. You try to get it as close to the bartender as possible so they can bus it. Right. So anyway, I set my glass down and then I come back to my seat and I'm watching the game, and I don't know, within five minutes, less than five minutes, all of a sudden, I don't even know what's going on. Somebody's slamming my glass down in front of me. Sorry, I lost my mic there. Somebody slams my own glass down back in front of me. And it's this guy who looks like. Do you remember the Portlandia sketch? Bicycle rights. Bicycle rights. It's like a real Portland kind of look. Bike kind of got a. Yeah. And this guy's like. He's a bit older. I'm gonna say this guy's my age or maybe a little bit older. He's got, like, kind of gray and white or kind of. Yeah, very light gray or white hair or something. But he's kind of got that. That mustache kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Goatee.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of. Goatee? Yeah. Kind of long.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a little bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. He's kind of got that billy goat look. He's like a little like. I don't know, like, he was probably a punk rocker at one point in his life or something like that or something along those lines. He's like, you know. You know. But again, he's like my age. He's wearing some hoodie, and he puts the glass down in front of me on my table. He's like, I don't want your glass. I don't remember exactly what the quote is, but he's kind of like, don't put your glass in front of me or something. Now, keep in mind, he wasn't there clearly. What happened was he went somewhere else. I saw a space in the bar. I set the glass at the back of the bar so the bartender could get it. I would have assumed the bartender would have grabbed it before he sat back down. He must have sat back down, was like, I don't want to look at this glass in front of me. Somebody. He must have asked. He must have asked, like, where did this glass come from? This must be a thing of his. So he slams it down in front of me. He's like, I don't want your glass. I don't even remember what he said. But clearly he's mad that I put my glass in front of where he's sitting at the bar. And I just. I don't even think I say anything. I don't know. The reason I closed the door is cause Genevieve was there for this. And I don't want to know her version of events because I don't think I look good in Them, but I don't even know what I say. I don't think I say anything at the moment. But I do pick up my glass. I don't want it sitting on my table either. So I go to this other. I walk kind of around the bar to this area where nobody can sit really, and I bus it myself. I just sort of set my glass down. But then I come back. And keep in mind this guy is sitting very close to me. He's sitting at the bar, his back is to me. I'm behind him at a table, a four top table with three people sitting at it. But he's very close to me. I could probably reach out and actually touch his back if I wanted to. I did not. But as I'm sitting back down and.

[Luke Burbank]

Grab him by his Murder City Devil's hoodie that he's wearing.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I sit back down and I do something that is very Andrew. And you're gonna laugh at me because this is what I always do. I said something sarcastic. I'm like, man, you seem like a really great guy. You got a lot of friends or something like that. I just said something like sarcastic to him. Him. And he's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually a pretty good burn, like, because that is. He probably doesn't because of behavior like this. And honestly, like, I really stand by that as a burn.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you. And I don't even know I said something like. I know I said, you seem like a really nice guy. Everything going okay for you today? You see, I know I said, you seem like a really nice guy. I can't remember the second part of it was. And he just says, yeah, you seem like an asshole. And. And that's such a stupid response. But here's what got me. The woman sitting to his right, who he's clearly there with, I guess laughs. She laughs like he burned me so good. Like, the response, you are an asshole. Was a good joke. Really pissed me off comedically.

[Luke Burbank]

You were offended.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't explain it. I feel like you know this feeling, but it's hard to put words to. The whole time I'm just like, well, this guy's clearly like an asshole. Who cares? So I say my little sarcastic line, like, you seem like a really nice guy or whatever. But then something. Something about him saying, well, you seem like an asshole. But then this woman, like, lighting up.

[Luke Burbank]

Like she signing just like, oh, my.

[Andrew Walsh]

God, like, just laughing at that. And now I realize I'm really feeling adrenalized now. I. And Genevieve's like, you know, like, Genevieve Does. She can tell my hackles are up. And she. And I would like to make it clear I've never gotten into an actual bar fight before. I get into these passive aggressive things. I don't think I usually start them. In this case, I will swear, like.

[Luke Burbank]

Like all I did was set my.

[Andrew Walsh]

Glass at the bar for the bartender to bust. It was actually me doing something to try to help somebody out. No joke. I mean, in the smallest way possible, but that was the intent. Anyway. I'm like, this guy just called me an asshole. I. I don't even know what thoughts are going through my head, but I'm realizing I'm getting a little bit. I'm. I'm. I'm really pissed off. I just realized I'm really pissed off. Now. I'm sitting at my table, like again, right next to him, right behind him, sort of. And I'm holding. Now I've got like another glass. I had a gin and tonic. I'm seeing another glasses there. But also I'm drinking from a plastic water cup that I had poured myself. And it's got some ice in there. And then maybe, maybe a sip of water is left. And maybe again, maybe three minutes have passed, five minutes have passed and I'm kind of just pissed off. I'm not going to give him the last word. And the last word is him just calling me an asshole and then somebody laughing as if that was an actually funny thing to say. So I decide I'm gonna get up to use the restroom, but I'm gonna take my plastic cup and I'm just gonna set it right next to him. I just set it right next to him. Not between him and the woman he's there with, but between him and the person to his left. I just set it down and I get up and I walk towards the bathroom. Now the bathroom to get there, it's one of those weird establishments where it's connected to a couple of other establishments. So the restroom, you kind of go into the back and you realize a couple of other restaurants and bars kind of filter into this, this shared restroom situation. So I'm walking down the hallway, I get up, I set down the cup next to him. I'm like, it'll be interesting when he, when he realizes I just did it again to him. And this time I'm. I have no excuse for doing it. This time I'm only doing it just to poke him. I'm just kind of like, I just didn't want him to have the last word. And I'm Also going to like, what, are you going to punch me? Because I said a cup. Like, I just sort of feel like I'm in the right here. I'm allowed to set cups on the bar, you know, I mean, I would never do something, like super rude, like, usually. And this guy provoked me. So I was. I was trying to provoke him back. But generally speaking, I'm never trying to get into it with somebody sitting at the bar.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely not. Can I ask a quick question?

[Andrew Walsh]

Of course.

[Luke Burbank]

Who were you bigger than this guy?

[Andrew Walsh]

Genevieve later on said, I am. She's like, well, she later said, oh, I didn't really worry about you too much because you're. You had a foot on him or something like that. So I guess I am bigger than. It's not a big, bulky guy.

[Luke Burbank]

For some reason, this behavior. And I don't want to. I want to be careful with how I phrase this. I envisioned this guy as being a not so large individual who's got a pretty big personality. For some reason, that just felt like the energy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think you're right about that.

[Luke Burbank]

And the reason I asked the question is because I wonder if any part of your conscious brain is clocking that. In other words, if this guy would have been television's John Cena.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a good point.

[Luke Burbank]

If you would have, because again, putting that cup down next to him, first of all, 100%, and I've been out with you many, many, many times. You are a very thoughtful, conscientious person. You are never looking for trouble, and you are certainly never trying to mess with someone for no reason. This is 100% on him, but definitely putting that water glass down next to him is you are at that point. To me, it's like you've got to be kind of prepared for battle at that point. I'm prepared for something potential.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just.

[Luke Burbank]

Are there future battles? I don't know. Ask P.T. anderson.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ask the creators of Downton Abbey. I just texted you a photo of him. I have my mom. When my mom passed away a couple of weeks ago, one of the things.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you tell him this, by the way?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I didn't. But do you see what I'm showing you on the screen here? I have her 2006 Sony Cyber shot camera, which looks. It's so small, it's like a spy.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I know the camera.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so I had that with me. And the funny thing is, this is one of those cameras that it's so old again, 2007, 6. It does that thing where when you're taking A photo in low light. It shoots a little red light. Remember our cameras used to do this. It would shoot a red light at the subject to help auto focus for the flash. Right before the flash, or I had.

[Luke Burbank]

The flash, like a red eye reduction, maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everybody thinks that. I think it's just to help the autofocus. I think it's hard for autofocus to work with no light. So it sends out a little bit of red light. I think I could be wrong about that. But anyway, so I did take a photo of this guy's back, and I'm like. And I'm showering him with this red light. Now, I don't think he's noticing because it's just literally his back, but did you.

[Luke Burbank]

The camera has a laser dot. I have it trained right on his forehead. Seems scared. Oh, my God, I'm looking at this. I love that you. You documented this, Andrew, because I don't think we'll. We'll ever share this with the listeners, but I love that I'm. I feel like I'm transported right into your world.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now. You can sort of feel the energy coming.

[Luke Burbank]

I can feel the energy radiating off of my computer screen as I'm looking.

[Andrew Walsh]

At this because I'm looking at the back of this guy's head and, like, hating him or whatever. So, yeah. And you can see that woman to his right. And again, I'm just showing you a photo of the back of two people's heads. There's nothing identifiable here. But you can, I think when you.

[Luke Burbank]

Take a cup and you angrily put it on someone else's table for no reason, you lose the reasonable expectation of privacy in my mind.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, he. So I set this plastic cup right to his left. And I even think, like, if he moves, he's gonna knock this over. That's gonna be a real problem. But anyway, I just said it, but in one motion. So I get up from my stool, I set my plastic cup down next to him as if I. As if I'm looking for a place to put. Put it. And then I just kind of keep walking back to the back of the restaurant where I'm going to go down this hallway, this relatively long hallway.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you even need to go to the bathroom? Or are you just trying to. Like, you're buying. You're just buying some time and creating some.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm just so angry right now. And so. Yeah, and also, I mean, I guess I'm a wuss too, right? Like, I guess I just set it there and then sit back down and like, glare at him. But I'm not actually looking to get into a physical fight. I've never been in a physical fight. I don't want to, but I don't want him to have the last word or feel like he won. And this is ridiculous. And this doesn't make any sense. And you got to keep in mind, by the way, I should mention too, like, any, if this paints me in a bad light, which I think it does, in some ways, we should be honest and say, I can't use the excuse of me being super drunk. I'd had one drink. This was not like some late night drunken. I'm making bad decisions. I was pretty sober. I'm just. I make bad decisions when I'm sober too.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think this is a bad decision. I have not heard a bad decision so far. Unless, I guess we are truly operating from the. Unless you're truly studying the teachings of Gandhi.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I didn't need to provoke. I mean, I could have just. When he did that, I could have just been like, boy, that guy's a real asshole. Right, guys? And then we just go ahead and watch the Dodgers beat us like the other.

[Luke Burbank]

Like a few weeks ago when I was in a bar and I said, a guy kind of almost bumped into me. I said, oh, excuse me. I said, brother. And he goes, I'm not your brother. And I said, well, I'm Luke. What's your name? And then he totally didn't know what to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I put my hand down. I was like, well, and I'm Luke. And then he was like, Tony or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

See, I really like that. Yeah, yeah. I like to disarm a little bit. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, you're in the kind of the general use bathroom.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not even in the bathroom. So I get up, set the cup down next to him, and kind of in one motion then like, as if I'm getting up to use the restroom. Then I walk back to the restroom, and then I'm just getting back to the restroom door. All of a sudden I hear from the other end of the hallway that leads to the bathroom. Are you serious, dude? Are you effing serious, dude? And he's standing there at the other end of the hallway now. I'm like, right outside the bathroom here. He's. I don't. I'm so bad with judging.

[Luke Burbank]

Lucky that I was not there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you would have been. Everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm ear holing this motherfucker. I am just coming. I am like, this is like in Football, they don't let you do this anymore, but it's like a turnover. And now suddenly, as a. As a, you know, defender, you can become a blocker. And there's a guy whose head is not on a swivel, and he just doesn't even see you coming.

[Andrew Walsh]

You just absolutely lay him out.

[Luke Burbank]

That's me laying this guy out in front of that doorway.

[Andrew Walsh]

Headline the next day is, man headbutts greenw. Just the entire neighborhood of Greenwood got headbutted by Luke Burbank, who saw his friend disrespected. I would have expected.

[Luke Burbank]

So mad at this guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

So this guy's like, are you serious, dude? Are you effing serious? And I think I'm. I don't even know what I said, Luke. My adrenaline. I'm. You know, my adrenaline is just pounding through my brain. And I think I said, yeah. I think I just said, yeah. And I went into the room. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, honestly, that might have de. Escalated if you hit him with a little durret.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not trying to make it sound like I was Mr. Cool, but I do think I probably was smiling because it was. He's freaking out about a cup now. Again. This time he's holding this plastic cup. He's holding my cup with the ice. Turns out, I found out later what he did was he saw it right away, then he turned around to put it back on the table, but I'm gone, you know, because I'm walking in the bathroom.

[Luke Burbank]

Checkmate.

[Andrew Walsh]

So then he gets up and he follows. So I guess that's kind of not fair to Genevieve and Nick, who I leave there. So he sees I'm gone. So then he takes the cup, and then he goes back into this hallway. Are you serious, dude? And I'm just like, I guess or something. I don't even know what I said. And then he takes the cup and he throws it at me.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, okay, that is actually attempted assault.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, I watch a lot of police body cam videos on TikTok, and when people throw things at each other, that can be. That can qualify as attempted assault. It really can. I've seen people get in trouble for that, like throwing phones and things at.

[Andrew Walsh]

People, but this is so much better than that because it's such a lame attempt at trying to get me because. Because Luke, it's a plastic cup. It's a plastic cup with some ice cubes in it. He throws it weakly and it maybe goes a quarter of the way of the hallway. And yes, like, ice falls out and goes all over the place. I just sort of think, well, that really sucks for the people who have to clean this up. But, like, he did not sort of make himself look like a big man here. It was such a weak attempt at throwing something at me because it was a plastic cup that caught the air like nothing happened. I'm like, okay. And I just went into the restroom room.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I. I'm sorry. This doesn't really matter what it does to me. When you say plastic cup. Is it a disposable.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a disposable plastic cup. So I went to the.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, this is so great. When you were saying plastic cup, I was imagining like a plastic. But washable.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it doesn't even blank. It doesn't clatter. It doesn't do anything. It's the most.

[Luke Burbank]

This is great.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's so impotent. It is so impotent. And that's why it's so much better than being like, oh, that's assault. It's like, no, that's not assault.

[Luke Burbank]

It doesn't go assault on his dignity.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God, this is brilliant.

[Andrew Walsh]

Goes a couple of feet and then ice cubes scatter all over the place. I'm like, well, I'm.

[Luke Burbank]

You left a silk scarf next to him on the bar that he fired it at you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I left a cocktail napkin next to him. And so I'm just like, okay, well, I guess he got out of his system. But now I'm sort of feeling like, well, that that's where this can end. Because, like, you know, like I'm not. I'm not following up on that. That was pretty embarrassing for him, I.

[Luke Burbank]

Think, because, listen, in all of my, you know, I don't know, shenanigans in my. In my younger and. And more alcohol soaked days of. Of fighting people, et cetera, I don't know if I've ever thrown anything at someone and I don't know what I would do after throwing something at somebody. What's he do after this impotent plastic cup toss.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the thing. I'm so full of adrenaline that I can't. And nobody else is there, by the way. We're in this hallway. Yeah, no, but like, I think I just kind of like I just did something that was the equivalent of a grin and a shrug, I think, because.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't feel physically threatened.

[Andrew Walsh]

You didn't know? Not at this point. I'm like, oh, this is going to escalate.

[Luke Burbank]

He's throwing this thing at me and now he's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well No, I guess I did feel. So I'm both like, I think it's kind of funny that that was kind of lame. But I am kind of like, he could follow me in here. And I'm going into the bathroom. And so in the back of my head I'm like, well, he could come into the bathroom and corner me now if he does actually want to fight. And again, I can't even think past that because I've never thrown a punch before outside of like high school once, and it was pretty lame. And so. So I am a little bit like, you know, and I'm definitely adrenalized now. I definitely have a bit of a tremor or whatever. So I go in the bathroom and I think I'm like washing my hands or maybe I even go towards the urinal, but I'm like, I don't really know what I'm doing here.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it a group? Is it a more than one person bathroom or lock the door?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a small more than one person bathroom, but it's not like a locking the door situation. There's one or two stalls in there and one urinal and two sinks.

[Luke Burbank]

This is actually kind of cinematic to me because you go into. I'm picturing you as Leo DiCaprio. There's been an incident. You now go into this bathroom, you're washing your hands. At any moment that door could open.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I'm trying to charge his phone. I'm trying to charge a 1G phone because those are the only kind that can't be traced. That's from the movie. But anyway, well, I go in the bathroom and there is one other person there. There's one guy and he's washing his hands. And I think maybe at this point, maybe I'm washing my hands or I'm sort of like maybe acting like I'm going to go to use the urinal, although I don't have to use the restroom or something. But I just said there's some guy out there who's going to try to fight me. Can I say this to this other guy? I say something to him. I'm like, there's a guy who's really mad at me who might come in here or something. He's like, what's going on? I'm like, I set a cup next to him. He doesn't like it when you set cups next to him. And I'm already sort of like working. I'm sort of like winning this guy over in case this other guy comes in. And this guy actually I know the move. And this guy's a very nice guy. He seems like a very nice guy. He's younger than me. He's healthier than me, probably in every way, emotionally, physically, whatever. But, like, I'm not trying to think. Like, I'm not trying to recruit him into my friendship army. Me, necessarily.

[Luke Burbank]

Wouldn't hurt if he.

[Andrew Walsh]

If he comes in and siding with you. Yeah, if he. If this other guy comes in and starts acting like a crazy person, then. Then at least somebody kind of knows the scene that I'm. I'm kind of acting like a normal person. This guy's gonna come in angry, but.

[Luke Burbank]

I know the move.

[Andrew Walsh]

You asked what he said after. You asked what he did after he threw the cup. And I do know that he turned. Because here's the deal. He throws the cup. Nothing happens. It's just, like, lame. He turns to walk back into the bar. Cause he's basically standing in the doorway of the bar, if that makes sense. He turns to go back to his seat, and then I go into the bathroom. But I'm still kind of like, I don't know if that's gonna be it. And then, sure as heck, like, he knew that it was lame, this crazy guy. And so he does burst into the bathroom. Like, he probably went back into the bar and probably felt like, oh, I didn't get the last word. So then he does burst into the bathroom. Now, I've already told this other guy. I'm like, yeah, there's some guy who's mad at me out there, and I made some joke about it, and we kind of chuckle about it. Then crazy guy comes in, and he starts. And I remember. Cause I. One arm up. There's like a little divider between the urinal and the sinks, right? And so. And it's a little bit higher than my shoulder, maybe, because I just remember I have one arm up on. I have one elbow sort of up on this divider thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Why unzip.

[Andrew Walsh]

And my other nose. Luckily, I'm fine in that regard.

[Luke Burbank]

That's another reason to not. Not that I don't think you could have peed, you know, if the entire world depended on it in that moment. But another reason that it's good that you weren't, like, literally trying to go to the bathroom because you do not want your picture pants partially down when homeboy comes busting into the bathroom.

[Andrew Walsh]

So he comes in. And now I've already kind of told. I'm really glad that I've sort of joked around with this other fella. In a way that probably makes me seem a bit normal and adjusted, I guess. Although people assume I want to wrap.

[Luke Burbank]

You're not just fooling him.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know, but I can hear the story through other people's ears and eyes. Like Genevieve was just like, why would you provoke him? There's no need for me to put my friends in this situation or for me to do anything other than when he.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sad I missed the opportunity to ear hole this guy. I hope I. I hope you do this again when we're together.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I can headbutt an entire neighborhood.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hopefully it'll be a long playoff run, Luke, and you and I could get up to all kinds of trouble.

[Luke Burbank]

Dare to dream.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I could.

[Luke Burbank]

I think what happened was Toronto, seventh game.

[Andrew Walsh]

This guy. This guy probably feels like he didn't get the last word. He didn't get his. His friend to laugh at calling me an asshole or whatever. He really felt like he got the last word last time. Yeah. And I feel like now. Now I just think his lame attempt at throwing a cup, a plastic cup at me is like, so lame that he probably goes back to his bar seat for a second and then is like, that's not enough. He's stewing. So then he comes back into the restroom and he starts yelling, what are you doing? Putting your cup. And it doesn't even make sense. I can't quote him here, but it doesn't make sense. He's just yelling.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I also love that you had a chance to explain the cup narrative to the other guy in the battle, because now this seems to really, really confirm your priors.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I put a couple cup next to him or something, and he comes.

[Luke Burbank]

In like, don't you put a cup.

[Andrew Walsh]

What are you doing?

[Luke Burbank]

The guy in there must have been like, what are you doing?

[Andrew Walsh]

What are you trying to do to me? I'm just like, this.

[Luke Burbank]

He's like, this dude is not crazy. This. The. The. The guy. He's talking about you. This guy's not crazy. This other dude is really amped about this cup.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And it's so funny because he is a little bit shorter than me. And he's like, he's definitely got this bicycle rights. Bicycle rights kind of vibe. That's not a slam at people. Cyclists. But just if you know this sketch.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm kind of a Seattle. It's a. It's the kind of person. Person who will tell you that the only band that matters from Seattle is Mud Honey.

[Andrew Walsh]

Potentially, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I just like, everything used to be Better. And everything sucks now because this town is just full of yuppies.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like this guy's. And to his credit, I feel like he's got a lot of Bad Religion posters or albums from back in the day or something. So he's clearly frustrated. He comes back in the bathroom and now it is. And I'm actually very glad this other guy's in the bathroom. Bathroom too. I'll be honest with you. I don't know if I process that so much at the moment, but I basically say nothing. I just stand there and I am a little bit like, okay, my one arm is up, my other arm is just sort of dangling. I'm kind of like, I've never really been assaulted before. I don't know what's going to happen here if he does swing at me. And I'm not going to say that I'm not scared or nervous in a certain way, but I'm also not like, oh man, I'm sorry. I'm just sort of like staring at him. I'm like confused. Like, what are you even talking about now? I do think that he was probably pretty drunk because he was probably there maybe who knows how long he was there. And I saw some whiskey glasses by him. Those glasses were okay to stay by him, apparently at the bar.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, of course.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway. But this guy's just yelling about the bar and how. And I just remember him saying there's a track, there's a, there's a long way around the bar or there's a well beaten path to the bar or something. He said something that made no sense at all. In other words, like maybe he wanted me to bust my stuff at this part of the bar where nobody can sit or something, but it just doesn't matter. I've done nothing wrong. But I'm also not doing that thing that I would have done when I was like in grade school that got me my ass kicked all the time, which was like trying to say something witty or just like kind of retort. I just stood there and just kind of stared at him with what I think was probably a pretty confused look on my face, but also just kind of standing there ready in case something moves really fast, you know what I mean? I wasn't even, I don't think weapons or anything. That didn't even enter my mind. But just in case he takes a lunge at me or whatever, I'm just sort of like, sort of like kind of ready. But I also think I knew that he wasn't going to Like, I don't know why I knew that, but I.

[Luke Burbank]

Do think he was yelling about, there's a different place to put your cup.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

It indicates that. I mean, again, everything he did was inappropriate and unfair to you and just bullshit. But also, in his twisted and probably drunken logic, you violated a norm of the bar of placing your cup in a place it didn't go. That's not. That's not right.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not right. It doesn't make sense. And I.

[Luke Burbank]

In other words, I think in his mind, he's. He's. He's a rule follower in his own mind of his own crazy rules that he's created.

[Andrew Walsh]

And, you know, and certainly. And. But also me putting. Then directly putting my plastic cup right next to him as I walk to the restroom was definitely me poking the bear and then not sticking around for the repercussions, but just to kind of get the last. But again, it seems like a relatively minor thing to do. If anybody were to say if I'm filing out a police report later, literally the only thing I would say would be like, well, I set a cup on the bar. Like, literally. You know what I mean? Like that. That's it. I didn't spill it on him. I didn't put it in front of him. I didn't, like, put my nose up against his nose and said, move it now you're feeling lucky, punk. I didn't do any of those things. I just said it and I left. But anyway, yeah, so he comes back in the restroom. He yells at me for a while. I let him just sort of like, sound like a crazy person for a while while this other guy is still there washing his hands. And I don't know how long this little confrontation lasts, you know, it feels long. I'd be surprised if it was 30 seconds even. Maybe, you know, maybe it's 20, 30 seconds. It goes by pretty quickly. And then. And then the other guy is just, like. Looks at me like really big eyes. My friend who I've recruited in my friendship army, he's kind of like, I just remember this detail. He says, you better. And he didn't finish his thought. He just said, you better. And I'm still trying to figure out.

[Luke Burbank]

Was he directing what. He was a cup guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Me. The cup guy's gone. He yells at me for a while. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't make that clear. It goes on for about. About 30 seconds. Cup guy. He just. I don't say anything. I don't give him any. Excuse me, does he try to kite me out. He does the bathroom, says, cuprights. He doesn't. I just let him. I stared him confused, and then he doesn't have a good power out, and he clearly isn't going to make a swing at me, and I'm certainly not going to make a swing at him. So then he just, again, just walks out of the bathroom without any real resolution. I'm like, well, that probably didn't work out for him very well because, again, I just sort of, like, stared at him the whole time, and he sounded crazy. I didn't say anything to give him any more upper ground, you know, like, whatever. So as soon as he leaves the bar, this other guy looks at me. He's like, you better. And I think what he was going to say was, like, you better kind of be careful out there or something. Like, this guy's crazy. But he never finished what he was going to say because then I started riffing with him as I do. I'm like. I'm like. I just say, you're my bodyguard now, man. You're my bodyguard. I can't remember. We made some joke about payment, and I said, I'm going to pay you in bitcoin. He's like, how much do you have? Have? And I'm like, I haven't started yet, but I'm going to get some soon, and it's all yours. Thanks for being my bodyguard.

[Luke Burbank]

I've got it on a thumb drive. I only have one more. Try it. Guessing the password.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's right.

[Luke Burbank]

$11 billion.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I'm sort of proud that, like, I am able to, like, let this guy just, like, leave the bathroom somewhat, like, probably impotently. Then I joke around with this other guy, like, get a load of this crazy guy, and you're my body.

[Luke Burbank]

You're also probably feeling of relief.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I'm. I'm probably shaking because, I mean, there's so much adrenaline that you're ready. Like, I'm just sitting there waiting. Like, am I about to get in first bar fight in a bathroom. You know what I mean? Am I about to get. Is somebody going to smash? Is this going to end with my head being smashed against porcelain? There's an end. Is it going to be toilet, urinal, or sink? That's a fun game to play.

[Luke Burbank]

Clearly, you're not a golfer, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

At least I'm housebroken. Anyway, I'm just saying random lines from Lebowski Adam. But anyway. Yeah. So I just sort of joke around with this guy. He's like, you Better. I'm just like, well, you're my bodyguard now, man. Whatever. We joke around about that a little bit. Then I just leave the bathroom, and I go back to my stool at my. At my table, which is again, right behind this guy, and he never turns around. He never turns around again.

[Luke Burbank]

What is the. As you now reenter the bar environment, you look towards your table. What. What is the look on Genevieve and Nick's face?

[Andrew Walsh]

They're ignoring me. They're ignoring the whole thing. Genevieve, I think, is mortified. Nick, I think, is probably pretty just like, why would I. Why would I escalate this? I'm guessing I don't stop hanging out with pussies.

[Luke Burbank]

You got to hang out with some people that got your back, dude. That guy. That guy provoked the whole situation. We need a team. A team effort to take him down.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't like the fact that I was like. That I was provoked into feeling that way. There was something about him saying, you're an asshole, and then people laughing as if that was a good joke. That really did it. Just, like, it bruised my ego in this way that made me feel like, well, I got to get the last passive laugh here. But I'm so passive about these things. So I set the cup.

[Luke Burbank]

But were you able to. I don't think you were passive in this. There's a way you could have been much more passive in this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. By not leaving. The. Leaving.

[Luke Burbank]

You could have, like, taken. When he brought your cup back or whatever. You could have then mousily walked it over to a different place and put it down and left it at that. That would have been.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I actually. No, but that is what I did with the glass. That is what I did.

[Luke Burbank]

But then you brought the water.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, but then I brought the water. Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like I'm saying, you could have. I don't think you were being overly passive in this situation. But I also think that the original.

[Andrew Walsh]

Aggressive, I guess, is the thing there by me, like, me not just being like, hey, man, what is your problem? Do you have a problem? I just had to put my little cup there just to provoke.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like if I were in your shoes now, the rest of the hang would have been ruined in that bar environment, because I would have been. My system. My. My vibratory system would have been at 11. The rest. I couldn't just, like, watch the rest of the Mariners have drinks with my friends. I would be constantly clocking where this guy is, what he's doing, what his body language is. Is this going to Come, Come back. Were you able to enjoy the rest of the night or was it just tense for you?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. After he, like, tried to confront me in the bathroom and clearly did nothing if he was going to do, you know, like in. Sometimes in a movie when, like, somebody's like, get in the car. I don't want to get in the car. Get in the car. If. If we wanted you dead, you'd already be dead. You know that. That sort of a cliche thing. I feel like if this guy was going to do anything, it would have been when he was in the bathroom confronting me. You know what I mean? Like, he clearly, he had his moment. Like, it's not going to escalate anymore after this. I'm. I feel like I've worked it out of my system because I kind of got the last laugh, little cup thing. And then he just got really mad about it. But I never gave him any indication that I was mad. It was just very much like, you tripping, bro. Like, you know, like, I didn't ever say anything else. And then I will say, when our fourth friend showed up, I did kind of loudly say, just don't put any glasses by this guy. He hates glasses. And I said it kind of loudly.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't turn around.

[Andrew Walsh]

He never turned around. So either he didn't hear me, or I think. I think that he was just like, he realized he didn't have the follow through. Through.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And neither do I, by the way. I'm not trying to make it sound like I was ready to fight. I wasn't. I don't want to fight. But I. I think once he realized he was so mad, he went back to a stool, then realized, oh, no, I'm still mad. I got to go to the bathroom to confront this guy. This guy just stared at me while I yelled at him. Then nothing happened. Then he had to just go march back to his stool again, which was like three feet where I. Where I went to sit down. Like, yeah, I was just like, this guy's not going to do anything. I did not feel nervous. I didn't have a car there. Like, sometimes you think like, well, do I have a car out in the parking lot that he could trace me to and key your car? But as it's like, what? You know, there was nothing.

[Luke Burbank]

This is why you take the E line places. Who cares if he keys the E line?

[Andrew Walsh]

This is actually a little bit dark. But I did see that somebody keyed the E line on Friday night, and it might have been bicycle, right? They keyed real polite cup, real bus. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I'm glad that you're. Andrew. I'm glad. Glad that. I'm glad it didn't come to anything physical. And I'm also glad that you. I am personally glad. This is probably not good advice and I don't want any of the listeners out there to take this as the official tbtl, I don't know, advice on any of these matters, but I'm also glad that you did push back on him a bit instead of just, you know, I mean, I don't know. To. Again, to quote my favorite Maya Rudolph. To what end? To what end?

[Andrew Walsh]

What end?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. To what end? Like, does this really matter? No. Is this guy going to change his behavior? Unlikely. But I don't like people that are going around being rude for no reason. And he was going around being rude for no reason. And I like that that you pushed back on that because Maybe there's a 5% chance that the next time he's there and my guess is he's a regular.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is. Somebody told me think Nick later told me, he's like, yeah, like, when he left, because I didn't notice him leave, but at some point he must have left. And Nick said, he said he saw something that like the bartender was like, oh, see you later, so and so. Or like they seemed very friendly to know each other, which really surprised me. I was like, if you were a regular someplace, you're just going to throw ice all over the ground. Did he, like, pick that up? Like, do you just let somebody pick up the water and ice that he threw on the ground? Like, you're a regular and you're going to do that in their establishment and then leave on a friendly note. I mean, somebody must have noticed him doing that. It made a clatter.

[Luke Burbank]

I also wonder how often this has been an issue historically for this person. It's obviously something that bothers me. Him. I wonder how many people kind of bus their own pint glass back to the bar area versus waiting for a server to grab it versus taking it to what he considers to be the quote, unquote, okay, place. Like. Because the other thing too, that I would have been tempted to do in this situation, which is the exact opposite of fighting, the person is basically reporting him to the bartender. Because sometimes that's the ultimate flex. Because here's what you can do. If you can get somebody 86 from their favorite bar, boy, you've really, you've really gotten over on them at that point. Like in other words, saying to the. Like, when someone's being unhinged, like, that was an unhinged response from him. To bring your cup back and kind of yell at you or be mad at you. There. I would have had a temptation with me. There's two moves. Or there used to be, only there were only. There were two wolves inside me and one of them was headbutting you and the other is just a total narc.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, just tattle.

[Luke Burbank]

And. And the total narcissist wolf. He's just like. To the bartender, like, could you talk to this person who's mad at me because I tried to put. Give you my glass.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Because this is really ruining my experience. And then they get into that mode where they're like trying to defend themselves. And maybe the bartender is saying to them, hey, calm down. This is not. And then they're like, now they're kind of on the outs with the bartender and they're fuming. And the bartender, like, you love to see that unfold if you're. If I'm you in the situation, like, basically like, get it into the. Get this guy into a mode where he's now kind of like, he's fussing with the staff and now they're kind of like on your side and they're kind of like, calm down, dude. And now maybe he's getting 86. And then you're just like, you know, and then he's out there keying the E line.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's keying the E line now. That reminds me, I went into some detail at the beginning of this story about how often I'm at the bar, which, like I said, is like, I'm there often enough that I think the bartender would recognize me. But not a regular. My guess is he's more of a regular there than I am.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Having said that, like, the woman who runs the bar, and by the way, you know her, she's a woman. She's been working at Bleachers forever. Do you remember Bleachers? It was the first bar that we kind of went to after things kind of really started to reopen after the pandemic. Went to a Mariner's.

[Luke Burbank]

Genevieve picked up the tab. It was very polite.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't. I don't remember that, but I would like some of that back. I've hit some hard times, but you.

[Luke Burbank]

Need to take self defense classes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I remember. I remember she was working there that night too. She's got tons of energy, like, and.

[Luke Burbank]

She know exactly who you're talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

She's a really good person and she's been. And so, you know, when I go in there now and she's working, I'm always like, how's your dog? Do you bring to. Sometimes she'll bring her dog to work. I love that dog. There's snacks. It's just like. It's a very. Snacks for the dog. It just sort of feels like the type of place where a lot of people know each other. There's. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Full uniform snacks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't put your glass on the mar. That was my invitation of snacks.

[Luke Burbank]

You left out the fact that this person you were fighting was snacks.

[Andrew Walsh]

The bunny dress fully as a buddy. Sorry. By the way, that was a very bad imitation of snacks. I apologize to snacks. That's. That was derogatory. But anyway, the point is I think that this bartender would look at me and know that I am the opposite of trouble. That's the one thing that. That's why I wanted to sort of set that up. I'm not an unknown quantity here. Like, I've been here. I'm super friendly. I really like this woman. We will sometimes chat about her dog. Would she know my name? Probably not. But. But you know, also potentially from running my card. You know what I mean? So I just wanted to. That's why I sort of set all that out. Is kind of like, I'm not. This isn't some bar where I'm a totally unknown quantity. Where he could say like, well, this guy was starting s with me. Now I'm. Now I'm not going to swear this guy was starting shit with me. It's like, well, no. Like nobody's going to accuse me of starting shit. The only thing I start are awkward conversations that the bartenders probably don't want to have with me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Yeah, I can. I mean, I'm sure that this bartender is. Has at least a vague awareness of you, particularly if you guys. If you're asking about the dog and if you like the dog. And. And so. And if anybody who's met you both in the public and private space would know that you are not somebody who is ever out there looking for trouble.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And nor do I think it was probably pretty solid.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nor do I think I've ever even gotten especially tuned up here. You know what I mean? Like, even when you know my old bar, Teddy's. Like, I'd never got into trouble there at all. Anything even close to even in this. But if I. The guys have seen me probably more drunk than I've ever been probably at this green Lake Bar at this Greenwood Bar. So anyway, that was my little altercation, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I'm glad that you're okay. I'm glad the police did not have to be called. But again, I will just say what I always say. Nobody expects a headbutt as your come out roll.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nobody. I would have had to bend down quite a bit. Maybe even that's.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, honestly, honestly, that hellfire has rained down from above on him pretty much. Game over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's important, Andrew, in life to have people who have your back so that when you get into it at a sports bar are, you know, you. You know that the, you know, you have a support system. And we've got some people who have our back here on tbtl. They are the donors, they are the folks who are donating their own money voluntarily to keep this thing going. This is 100% listener supported. And today we want to thank donors including Ashley Simmons of Folsom, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Guess where I almost ended up on.

[Luke Burbank]

I was gonna say that's where they would essentially.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I have said. I've said this throughout the history of this show. And me knowing you and I stand by it. When you throw your first punch, it will be the hardest punch that's ever been thrown because it will be 45 years of unexpressed frustration. And you have very large hands. We've established this. And I do believe that guy would have flown into space and you would be right now on your way to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Full circle like a. Like a balloon letting out air. I. Do you think that you and I should do a live podcast from the Folsom Prison at some point? Like make a record? Only if Fon Prism podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not sure how the podcast is going to go, but then I'm going to be standing maybe in the bathroom and there's a glass of water. And then I notice that there's already like people are stomping their feet and I see that water glass, the water start to tremble in the glass and it tells you. Biopic. I believe this is in the Johnny Cash biopic.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna say, I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

There's some scene. I feel like there's a scene. I could be also mixing it up with Jurassic park where there's also a very. There's a critical water glass scene where like there's a glass of water and the water, like kind of sort of jiggling in the cup is telling us that something is about to happen. I think it may happen in both films.

[Andrew Walsh]

I Think I remember he comes out and he, he says, I'm clever girl. Wait, no, that was, I think there.

[Luke Burbank]

Was a velociraptor that had been sent. Had been sentenced to 15 to life at Folsom.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so that could have been what it is. I feel bad about my joke. Let's move on.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's thank Dave Nakagawara in Port Townsend, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, no prisons there, Dave.

[Luke Burbank]

Only a prison of artistic creativity called. Everyone there loves the arts. We've been trying to, trying to. I've been trying to encourage the livewire powers that be for us to get up to Port Townsend and do a livewire show. So hopefully, Dave, I don't know if that's of interest to you, but I'd love to come up there because it is a town that really supports the arts. It is full of interesting, engaged, creative folk. And I do love it up there. Thank you, Dave. Thanks to Kathleen Manley in Seattle, Washington. Another artistic hamlet that I love. That's right, Dominic Arico is in Federal Way, Federal Way, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Federal Way. Thank you, Dominic.

[Luke Burbank]

Sheila Gruber checking in from Redmond, Washington over there on the east side.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't wait for the train to connect us, Sheila.

[Luke Burbank]

That hasn't happened yet.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, they have the trains running on the east side, but they don't have the connector going yet. Oh, I see. From Seattle to the east side communities.

[Luke Burbank]

So the east side part's running the, the Seattle area and north and south is running. But the twain have not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, they haven't gone over the lake yet. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

[Luke Burbank]

Man, that'll be fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Kate Sandvik is in Minneapolis, Minnesota. One of my very favorite places to have flown from. Oh, the thing that I was going to interrupt you with before we got into your story, by the way, that was a great story.

[Andrew Walsh]

I, I, I'm sorry that I, I feel like I messed up some details that are going to. No, you didn't for a little bit.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, I thought you told it in a very clear, concise way. I was quite riveted by that story. But the only. There was something before that where we were talking about a sort of confusion around a certain matter. And I said, that's kind of what happened to me yesterday on my flight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Was it about. It wasn't your analogy about how you kind of expect the plane to be set up or something, was it?

[Luke Burbank]

No. You know what? It was about that kind of being on high. It was about you being stressed in the theater that you were not watching one battle after another, which turned out to be correct.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And how I'm kind of like, I'm always like, am I in the right place for this? Am I, you know, is someone jumping the line on me, et cetera. By the way, thank you to all of our donors. We absolutely could not do this show without you. I really do mean that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And Kate Sandvik being in Minneapolis, Minnesota, of course, that's where I flew back from yesterday. And the flight was fine, it was uneventful, everything was great. I think I'm gonna go knock wood. As I said, I think at the end of yesterday's show, I think I'm going to be entering an era of very trouble free flying now because it was trouble full for me there for a minute. But the thing that happened that was kind of interesting, I actually had a moment of, of thinking that maybe I was losing my mind yesterday for the briefest of moments. So the plane lands in Portland. I quite fortunately had been promoted to the front of the airplane. I don't know how that happened because all those seats seemed to be full. But when I got to the airport, they said, they said, we're moving you up. I guess somebody didn't show up for their first class seat. So I'm at the very front row of the entire airplane and I'm sitting there and the plane lands and I have checked a bag back in Minneapolis and I've got my computer bag and stuff with me on the plane, but my checked bag is under the airplane and the plane, you know, gets to the Jetway. They let. I am the first person off of the airplane and I'm walking with purpose. And I know my way through the Portland airport and the, the windy roads because they're still building it out. So there's constantly. You're hitting some, what is obviously a temporary wall that like will not be there in a year, but it's there for now. And it means you got to go around, you know, and keep whatever. So, So I am, I walk all the way to. And I walk directly to the baggage carousel where my luggage is going to be like, I would say less than four or five minutes has elapsed since I got off the airplane. Again, I can't stress this enough. First person off the airplane walking with purpose to the carousel. I do ever so slightly feel the need to urinate, to micturate. So I go into the bathroom there at bag baggage claim and I go number one. And it's weird, a guy followed me in with a Cup, maybe that's my probation office. This man hates cups. I pee very quickly. I go. I wash my hands. I come out of the bathroom and I'm looking at the baggage carousel. It's not even moving.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think, okay, well, I mean, I. Of course it's not moving. Now I'm waiting for my. I'm waiting for my compatriots from that flight to show up. I'm waiting, and that's one of the ways. Now listen, I'm. I'm looking. Andrew, add a display sign, the digital display reader board that says these are the flights where the luggage is being delivered from. And it says Bozeman, Montana, and it says Minneapolis. Now, something that does happen every once in a while is they'll tell you it's going to be baggage carousel 2. But for some reason, they'll decide to move it to baggage carousel. For sometimes they'll have that sign up at the wrong thing and then they'll make an announcement. They'll say, it's actually going to be.

[Andrew Walsh]

Over there on the plane usually. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

No, this. This would be when they've already. We've already come to the carousel and they're telling us it's actually not at the carousel. You're standing at, like, they, they announced that in the baggage area, there's like a little desk with a person. So I'm like, I'm looking around. And one of the ways that I tend to confirm that I am at the right baggage carousel above and beyond the signage is am I seeing the people I recognize from the flight? That's always my, like, that's my crowdsourcing of, like, am I at the right place? Oh, that guy with that one, like, hoof arted T shirt is. He's here. Okay, we must be in the right place. We're all here together waiting for our luggage. I'm waiting, I'm waiting, I'm waiting. Finally, the carousel starts moving. And what's strange is I still don't see anyone from my flight. And the carousel starts moving and luggage starts coming off, and I'm like, okay, this must be mine. And people, people are a few people, like a small, like a 10 or 15 people have come over and they're getting their luggage. One of them is wearing a sweatshirt that says Carrollton College, which I believe is in Minnesota. So that's also, to me, a context clue. I'm like, you're wearing a Carrollton College sweatshirt. You must be from my Minnesota flight. But I don't recognize you. I don't Recognize any of these people? They're pulling their stuff off. Eventually I see like a very loud piece of luggage, you know, with like some kind of a crazy color. It's on its like, second rotation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes. This is a specific kind of anxiety, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Because you're like, well, I've seen that twice, and I've seen mine zero. So it's going around. And then I'm having this feeling like now. By the way, Andrew, I can't stress this enough. I have still been standing at this place for under 15 minutes. It's not like I've been here forever. And I'm like, where's my luggage? It's like, I'm like, where's my flight? Where are the other people from my flight? They should be standing here. And so I go. And I look down the. Whatever you want to call it, hallway, because I'm in the area where the Alaska Airlines baggage carousels are. There's not that big at pdx. Sometimes they might boot you down, like over a bit. I go, look down there. It's, it's, it's not moving. It doesn't say Alaska Airlines. Like the one that sometimes could be United or sometimes Alaska. I'm like, am I? Did the rapture actually happen?

[Andrew Walsh]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

And I was on a flight with like the people that were on the flight from Lost, and I just got off before Hurley and the rest of them got friggin sent to weirdo island. Like, seriously was confused. I've never been through this before because I don't know. There's nobody else standing around the baggage game. So I finally go over to this desk. There's three helpful Alaska employees are working and the woman. I go, hey, I was on the flight from Minneapolis and I see it, the sign over there, but I don't see my bag. And also none of the bags are coming off. And the, the one of the women says, well, do you have your. Your bag tag? And I go, you know what? I think I might have lost that because, you know, they give you a little sticker that's on a piece of wax paper. Yeah, that's part of the baggage thing. Thing. And I, I try to keep that, but sometimes I forget to keep it. But I also had that information in the app. I had my, like, my tracking number for my luggage. I go, I don't know if I have that. And she goes, quite good natured. She goes, why doesn't anybody hold on to those bag tags?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know why? Because we don't have boarding passes anymore. Back in the Day the move was you would stick the sticker to your boarding pass, you fold it up and put it in your shirt pocket.

[Luke Burbank]

Good point. Really good point. This was not, by the way, I want to be clear. This woman was totally chill and funny and not being like, actually reprimanding me. She was just kind of like laughing about the, The, The. The. The. The dearth of people hanging on to this thing. Anyway, so then they. I talked to another person, I give them my information, and they go, well, I forget exactly how this unfolded, but they said, well, yeah, you're. Everyone already got their luggage off of that flight. And I go. I go, I. That can't be the case. I was the first person off of that flight. And I walked right over to the baggage carousel. And they go, yeah, well, you're probably missed your bag. It's probably still going around. I go, how? I couldn't have missed my bag. I walked like, I got there before anyone else. The carousel wasn't moving. I went in and I peed for 25 seconds and washed my hands and then came back out. And I go. They go, well, it's probably. They probably just pulled your bag off. Like, your bag came through. And they probably just pulled. Pulled it off. And they go, and where would it be? And they go, probably just over there. And I'm looking at, you know how there's like, the kind of like, luggage jail. There's kind of like the luggage that for some reason didn't get grabbed by people, and they pull it all off and they usually like, kind of group it together.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if I do know that. I think I. I'm picturing like, a little desk there. But it's not pulled behind a desk. It's just like a pile of or like a little grouping of luggage that you can just go look through if you're missing.

[Luke Burbank]

Sometimes there will be. If some. Like, basically. Basically. And I don't know why this would happen other than maybe the flight getting disappeared like the TV show Lost. But, like, sometimes there will be some luggage off of a flight that, for whatever reason, has not been retrieved, and it's now on the carousel, and it's kind of blocking up the next flight's luggage. And so the employees will pull those bags off and they'll just kind of stand them up, usually, you know, kind of by each other in this. Sometimes they'll. It'll be in an area with, like, a little stanchion around it. Sometimes it'll just be in a group and it's Kind of like if for some reason, maybe it was an international flight and it took a long time to get through customs. You took a long time, the human. To get through customs. So you go get your bag. I don't know. Point is, I'm looking over there, and I'm like, there's no way that my bag is over there, because, A, I don't see any bags, and, B, I have not been delayed to this. Like, there. Unless the bag came. Came out in the 20 seconds I was urinating and then got pulled. There is no logic to this. And then the woman goes, it's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I.

[Luke Burbank]

It's got to be over there. That's what I'm seeing. And then I look over and, like, because of the angle I was standing at and because of some chairs and things, and there was another. There's a different woman who's standing at a different kind of, like, kiosk or whatever, and closer to the baggage claims. I look over, and there's my suitcase. It's behind this woman. It has been pulled off of the baggage carousel. Like, this is some David Copperfield shit. And I don't mean the poor boy who's adopted by Mr. Macabre. I mean, like, the guy that made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Like, this is the closest I've ever come to having being Criss Angel. Mind freaked, because I can't overstate this. I got off the airplane. I walked to the baggage carousel, where that was not in motion. I went into the restroom for 25 seconds and relieved myself. I washed my hands. Then I came back out. And then I stared at the baggage carousel. And then when it started moving, it was some luggage that was related to Bozeman. I don't know. I don't know when my luggage came off, when my cohort from the flight gathered together to pull their luggage and leave, and somehow my luggage ended up in the. Like, lost luggage.

[Andrew Walsh]

Take a long time. I'm just backing up what you're saying, but, like, it takes. I. How many times. I don't. I try desperately never to check a bag, but on the occasions that I have to, like, one of the reasons I don't like doing it is because you get to the carousel, then you wait and you wait and you wait, and then finally you hear a clunking sound. And then one first bag tumbles out. Yes, right, Right. I forgot.

[Luke Burbank]

In case somebody is sitting on the. You know, whatever, the conveyor belt.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then you start watching them tumble out. And then that takes a long time.

[Luke Burbank]

Time.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it always Feels longer because you have anxiety about it. I always feel like my bag is going to get lost. And a couple of times it has. But it's just like, I know this process, and it is not a speedy process. It feels like you lost time.

[Luke Burbank]

It feels like I. Exactly. Like I did. Was I in. Like, did I lose. Did I lose a half hour in that bathroom that I don't remember that just, like, where I just worked out?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then came back. Because my memory of my time in that airport is very. Feels to me very clear, very detailed. Again, I do this all the time. Yeah, Yeah, I do this all the time. And, like, I can account for every single second that I was in that airport between getting off the airplane and getting to the baggage carousel. And the only unaccounted for time, the only time when I wasn't staring directly at the carousel was when I was urinating, which did not take long. Very, very long. Came back out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you washed your hands.

[Luke Burbank]

If I'm being honest, I don't remember on that part. If I'm being 100%, I think I washed my hands. I don't remember. But, like, it was, like, it was. It was a little trippy because when I was talking to those folks that were. Again, they were being super nice about it. I did. I know that I said, like that on. On yesterday's show. I think I said something about my Friday travel troubles, which. Which was there was a period of time where I thought that maybe I was in a stress dream. And, I mean, it was just a fleeting thought, but it did occur to me, am I in a dream right now and can I wake myself up? And then by yesterday, by Monday, I mean, the stakes were much lower. Like, I wasn't panicked, but I was, like, I did have a moment on Monday of thinking, like, am I losing my mind right now? Like, I was talking to these people and they were saying to me, they were looking at the computer screen that I couldn't see, and they were saying, well, the bag's been delivered. It's probably over, over there. And by the way, because of the position of the bag, I couldn't look right over and see it. When I looked over, there was no bag that was visible to me. No, no suitcase that was visible to me. So that added to the, like, surreal nature of the experience. But, like, just imagine you go through this and you're talking to these people and they go, well, it's just probably right over there. And you look over there and there's. From your vantage point, no suitcases. That can be observed. And you add to that the whole thing I had just been through of knowing where I was at each moment, the of. Of time, and then just having them very nicely and with a smile on the face, go, no, sir, your bag is probably right over there. And I'm going like. I kind of was, like, listening to how I was starting to sound, and I was sort of like, I don't want to get 5150'd here. Because one of the things people say when they're having, like, a psychotic break is probably like, no, you don't understand. You don't understand what's going on right now for me, like. But I really want to say to them, no, you don't understand. I have been. I know exactly where I've been every moment of the time that I've been in this airport. And there's no way that my luggage came off of that thing and got pulled and is put somewhere else. And I'm looking over there and I don't see it. And there's nothing you can say to me that will convince me of that reality. And then here's what I did, Andrew. I, like, while I was talking to them, I was sort of getting. Almost getting into the, like, well, you just don't understand. And then I moved, like, this much so that I had a different vantage point. And then I saw my suitcase was. Was sitting there, and I went, oh, well, there it is. And then I walked over, and then the. The very nice woman over in that area gave me my luggage, and everything was cool. But I guess my point of that story is, A, I'm losing my mind slowly but surely, and B, I could have sat there for hours waiting for this thing to start. This is back to that question of, like, when is it taking time to pull the cord? When is it time to pull the emergency cable on? A situation for you in the movie theater is when you saw Paul Giamatti's name.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. I was like, I don't think he's in this. Not with that font.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, not with that font. I love how much of your. Your experience is experienced through fonts.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can just tell, though, that this is not the font for this movie. It was too delicate. It was too perfect.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you were like, this. This has got Julian Fellows written all over it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's too many serifs.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, for me, it was. And again, the other thing that's really funny about this is I would. What I was going through was the opposite of A bad customer service experience. I was going through the best customer service experience you could ever have because I was a person who had had their luggage delivered off of the conveyor belt so quickly that they couldn't even get to it in time, apparently, or something. Like, I still don't understand how my entire flight, or at least the entirety of the people who were part of my flight who had checked a bag. And again, we're not. It's not a Portland to Seattle flight. It's not some little regional hop. It's the Minneapolis to Portland. It's. You'd think there'd be some people with some bags that needed to be checked.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because that's the. That's the real hang up here. Because I'm thinking, like, well, maybe. Maybe, like, you have a. You have an expected kind of time frame for how long it takes to get your bags in this situation, as do I. And I think of it as being pretty long. But you could maybe explain it away just by saying, well, there was construction at the airport. Your walk took you a little bit longer than you think.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm one of the last people to deplane.

[Andrew Walsh]

They were. Yeah, they were fat. They were way faster than it usually would take, and it took you a little bit longer because of the construction inside the airport than you realized. That would be the only thing that made sense. The only thing. Thing that doesn't make sense, though, is you were alone. And you say you're the first person off the plane.

[Luke Burbank]

Literally the first. I was in seat 1A. Everybody on this flew.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know that feeling of just like. You see, all the people are like, oh, yeah, that's the people with the. With the kid that was crying. Or this is the people with the egg salad sandwich that I didn't really appre. I have a lot of complaints anyway. I. Yeah, that. That's really befuddling. It almost does make me think, did we. Is there a chance that a rapture did happen and we just didn't notice because of everybody? We surround ourselves with our gods. Godless boy, how are our numbers?

[Luke Burbank]

And also, by the way, what a. What a w. You're telling me. So you're telling me you're gonna sit there and you're gonna tell me, andrew, we got rid of all the annoying people.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, no, I saw the. I saw the press conference today. We didn't. Rapture didn't happen.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that theory's out the window, because I wouldn't mind. I'll just stay here. We'll just stay here and keep. Keep let's try to make this place a better, more loving, more inclusive place where everyone's checked bags are delivered in under five minutes. Yeah, I can hang. I can hang with that reality. Get. Get the, you know, get the Mike Johnson's and the Stephen Millers out of here, man. Go mess up heaven or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Go mess up heaven.

[Luke Burbank]

Go mess up heaven. That's my new bumper sticker. All right. Well, listen, Andrew, that was a fun show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was sort of laying out. I wasn't sure if you're going into. Sorry. The reason I wasn't responding, I wasn't sure if you were going to an email. Can I just play one quick thing for you here? Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Would you like the sound effect?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, just play the sound effect. Although it's not really an email or a V mail. Here I go once again with the email. Every week. I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female. All right, all right, let me just do this. Sorry, I kind of forced it there, but. No, no, no.

[Luke Burbank]

We were trying to keep the consistency of the email v mail segment. And I'm trying to constantly not do that with my taking too long with the show. So this is good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I do have a lot of voicemails I still need to get through, so if you've left a voicema, I need to get on that. But I did get an email with a video attachment from listener Annie. And as you know, Luke, and maybe this is a good FYI for some of the listeners. If you donated during the last TBT I found, you should be getting a lot of your gifts in the mail pretty soon. We're still working on the vinyl TBTL greatest hits record, so that's still going to be probably a couple of months at least. But everything else, the musical instruments, the melodicas, the harmonicas, the tambourines, the stickers, they are. If they're not already in your mailbox, they should be heading your way soon. And I got this little video that listener Annie sent in. Annie received a harmonica, and it turns out the harmonica was a bit of a surprise and delight to somebody else in her family. This video is going to begin. You're going to hear the sound of Annie playing harmonica here, Sam. So Annie has a.

[Luke Burbank]

That dog is barking. That is not my dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

That dog is singing. So Annie has what looks like, I'm guessing, some sort of a German shepherd or German shepherd mix or something. I see that there does seem to be a pint of what looks like IPA on the table. So I'm guessing that the dog has been drinking maybe, and is feeling the.

[Luke Burbank]

Dog is mad because the pint of IPA was put near it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. But Annie starts playing this harmonica and her dog starts singing along with it. And I wrote back, I said, now, were you expecting this? Is this something that your pooch does a lot? And she said, no, complete surprise. Like, she said that. Oh, you know, I know that I don't have the email in front of me, but she did say that there's some sort of. There's some sort of breed of dog that is in her dog that does have him kind of talk at times. She said he's kind of going through a bit of a talky phase, sort of. But this wasn't like, oh, watch what happens when I start playing the harmonica. Apparently, it really came as a surprise to her. And the dog, I'm hoping, is loving it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Work on Annie. If you can work up a number with that dog where, you know, Camptown Races.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. That feels racist to me is Camptown Races. It's. It's just from an era where I feel like if we dig very far into that song, it's not great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, it's so funny you should say that.

[Luke Burbank]

Turkey in the Straw is definitely racist.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that true?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Yeah. That one was like. That's one of those kind of songs that, like, people, you know, used to play and there's like a. It's a kind of famous piece of music, but I think its origins are bad. But I feel like, I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

America's history is awful. That's why. That is why everybody said, we'll get back to normal. We'll get back to a country that we can be proud of. Like, were we ever proud of this shit? Like, we've always been awful in our racist.

[Luke Burbank]

Hmm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, good place to end.

[Luke Burbank]

Camptown Races. Let's see. I don't know. I'll do some research between now and tomorrow, if you can't. If we are allowed to sing it, I'm going to start tomorrow's show by singing.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know why I was thinking about it recently. I don't know if they were actually doing this song, but when I was in Arizona, I had mentioned that my mom was. Had been living in a care facility. Right. And when I was there, there was a time it was kind of a. It was. It was a bit of a melancholy afternoon. We had been clean out my mom's stuff, but then. And there were three of us there, and then we Kind of all parted ways. But then I had to come back for something, whatever. I had, like, about an hour to spend in my mom's room, my mom's old room, which was, like, mostly kind of moved out. And we're packing things up, and it was just kind of a. It was a little bit sad, you know, I was just sitting there and sort of, like, waiting for people to come back. And I was like, re. I remember I was on my phone and I was like, rebooking my flight because I had to change some things around to get out of there. And the one thing that, like, I found somewhat joyous was in the meeting area, the kind of, let's say, party room or whatever, the. Where they'll maybe play bingo. And my mom had a birthday party in this room or whatever, kind of a rec room area that is just like, maybe, I don't know, five doors down from where my mom was staying. And I'm in her little room, but the door is propped open. Right. A lot of people just kind of keep their doors is open there, and I'm in there with the door open, and they're doing karaoke. Luke. Now, these are. These are people who are, you know, probably mostly in their 80s and also dealing with various kind of ailments and stuff. And I got the impression later that this might have been the first time that some karaoke people came and set up a karaoke rig back in this thing, and they're singing song. Like, I do think I heard one person doing, like, a Johnny Cash song, but other people were just doing sort of like, she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes. And I got the impression that maybe the. This was like, this is not a generation that necessarily grew up with karaoke. Right. And so I got the impression that these people were kind of doing karaoke for the very first time and doing songs that were like, almost. Almost nursery, you know, not nursery rhymes, basically.

[Luke Burbank]

That kind of public domain.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And they. I mean, they were doing other things, too, but it was just. There was something so absolutely sweet about it. And then I heard it kind of wrap up, and then everybody kind of shuffles down the hallway, and I could hear all the conversation there. There was just so much buzz. And people were like, oh, that was so great. I'd never done that. We should bring them back or whatever. And I was like, oh, that's pretty sweet. Yeah, pretty cool.

[Luke Burbank]

That's really cool. I love to hear that for folks that are, you know, that are dealing with a lot, obviously. I mean, Music is such an interesting thing too. I don't think this is an example of. I don't think what you're describing is an exact example of what I'm about to say. But, you know, there's a lot of interesting research around people who are able to remember music and songs and stuff long after they've had difficulty remembering other things. Oh, ye. So it's so ingrained in us and so at the core of, you know, of our experience that it often is one of the last things that people are able to kind of, you know, remember and relate back to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now in this case, I should just. I mean, it doesn't really matter. But just in this case, this wasn't a memory care facility or anything, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm trying to draw that distinction. And they were singing Camptown Radio.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I went in there is racist. And I said, I'm from Seattle. Seattle. You can't. You can't say that anymore. And everybody said, yeah, like, here's this guy from Seattle trying to police our language.

[Luke Burbank]

You were there for Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I was there for.

[Luke Burbank]

You can't say anything. You can't sing anything anymore. That's why we need ICE on Becca street in Portland, by the way. That's a whole, you know, she lives. I don't think I'm. No nobody, please go dox my girlfriend. But she happens to live in one of these huge apartment buildings. Buildings that's on the street that ICE is on in Portland. So I. On a. Multiple times in a normal week, I will go past the ICE facility in Portland probably two or three times easily and can personally report that there was nothing going on there. I'm talking like.

[Andrew Walsh]

You talk about like violent protests or whatever excuse they're using to deploy five people.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm talking five people. People in like, you know, camp, like foldable camp chairs. One of them with a mega megaphone. Honestly, phoning it in, just being like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, a ball of sh.

[Luke Burbank]

Like that was the seed that's been.

[Andrew Walsh]

The laptops out of the bag. Shoes can stay on no water.

[Luke Burbank]

Like it's a truly. I mean, we all know that this stuff of deploying, you know, military forces to American cities and is just absolutely and totally ridiculous and I think should be illegal. But what I haven't experienced before this was having a personal bird's eye view of literally the thing in question. You know what I mean? Not just. I. I knew it was all. I knew it was in la, I knew it was in Chicago and it was everywhere else, but it's for me. It's never been the case that I could just say, oh, yeah, I was at the place yesterday that they think is overrun by antifa. Like, I was looking at it. It's next to an old spaghetti factory, Andrew, that, by the way, remains in business absolutely unaffected.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the number one place to take.

[Luke Burbank]

Your grandparents on a Sunday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Factory. I thought you meant, like, it was a building that used to house the spaghetti factory. I forgot that it's currently housed. Oh, God.

[Luke Burbank]

It currently houses a delicious.

[Andrew Walsh]

We gotta go.

[Luke Burbank]

Ye old spaghetti factory that is very much in operation. Like, if you want to understand the true lawless nature of what's going on in Portland South Waterfront, it's that the families bringing their grandparents to ye old spaghetti factory on Sundays have had absolutely zero interruption in their experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. People who probably actually did come here through Ellis island, they're so old.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, like, it is. I like, whatever. I'm just preaching to the choir on this one because everybody else is enraptured.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it is, right?

[Luke Burbank]

It's wild out there, people.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is scary, man. It's really scary.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I like to use wild because it makes me feel less scared. Even though the real. The real answer is it's scary out there. So. All right, well, we're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. If you can please join us for that, we'd appreciate it. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.