#4584 Full Frontal Casket

Summary

TBTL Episode #4584 "Full Frontal Casket" Summary

Podcast: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Date: October 27, 2025
Episode Title: Full Frontal Casket

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Episode Overview

In this lively Monday edition, Luke and Andrew return from their respective weekends filled with Halloween festivities, hair revelations, and run-ins with rained-on dog costumes. The duo weaves from personal anecdotes to pop culture detours—including Halloween costumes, gray hair discoveries, the art of drumming while singing, and a pet costume contest in Portland—capturing the easy banter and self-mockery that typify TBTL. The episode’s title, “Full Frontal Casket,” emerges from an impromptu riff on hair vanity and open casket funerals, reflecting the show’s signature blend of earnestness and absurd humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Halloween Weekend Recap & Hair Vanity

• Luke’s French 60s Halloween Costume: Luke shares his process dressing as a French mod, involving a suit, beret, and—critically—a can of jet-black root cover-up spray to mimic the tousled hair of a 1960s Frenchman.
  • The Hair Revelation: Luke, known for his vanity about hair thinning rather than graying, discovers that dyeing his hair makes him look dramatically younger, sparking an existential debate about whether or not to start coloring it regularly.
  • Notable Quote:
    "I have never for one second of my life considered actually coloring my hair. And I'm still not there yet. But…a small seed was planted. A new special kind of vanity was planted this weekend…" – Luke ([25:00])
  • Andrew’s Reaction: Andrew expresses genuine surprise, assuming Luke would embrace graying naturally at 50, not consider artificial coloring.

2. Podcasting Awards & Industry Satire

• The possibility of applying (for a fee) to win a Golden Globe for podcasting brings out the duo’s skepticism towards industry accolades and commercialization of podcasts.
  • Notable Quote:
    "As long as we're willing to pay a lot, a lot of money to the Penske Media Corporation to be considered for the honor of winning a Golden Globe in the podcasting division." – Luke ([02:25])

3. Drummers as Lead Singers – Pop Culture Rabbit Hole

• The conversation detours into music trivia: Karen Carpenter’s underappreciated drumming and the rarity of drummers as lead singers, with focus on The Romantics’ “What I Like About You.”
  • Memorable Moment:
    Luke and Andrew analyze the unique role of drummers who sing, name-checking Phil Collins and pondering the dynamics of band practice politics. ([07:30])
  • Notable Quote:
    "There's a joke…what were the drummers last words before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey guys, want to try one of mine?'" – Andrew ([09:08])

4. Cat Co-Host Behavior

• Andrew’s cat Bingo continues to avoid the recording studio as soon as podcast voices emerge, sparking theories about animals’ reactions to human performance personas.
  • Notable Quote:
    "It's just a shift in my voice when I say, ‘hey everybody, welcome to After These Messages,’ and he beelines it out of here like I did when my dad was playing the Carpenters as a kid…" – Andrew ([04:13])

5. Portland Weekend: Pet Costume Contest & Dog Emcee Disasters

• Luke emcees a pet costume contest in Portland, dealing with illegible, rain-soaked entry cards and creative dog costumes themed around “It,” Hannibal Lecter, and toilet paper/poop emoji duos.
  • Contest Highlights:
    • Dog dressed as a roll of Charmin, owner as poop emoji
    • Dog dressed as Georgie from “It” (yellow raincoat, red balloon)
    • Two dogs as mustard and ketchup, owner as a hot dog
  • Notable Quote:
    "If you want me to get into it, Andrew, being the emcee for this was actually a fairly challenging job…all these cards were half washed away…It was a nightmare." – Luke ([58:21])
• Halloween “Paired” Costumes: Discussion of couples’ themed costumes, and a story about someone overhearing Andrew’s joke about the feminist implications of a bee (woman) and a beekeeper (man) couple costume. ([61:02])

6. Symphony Outing & Musical Observations

• Luke attends a symphony Halloween show featuring orchestral renditions of spooky songs (including "Batman," "Psycho," and "The Wizard of Oz"). Many musicians dress as frogs.
  • Observation on triangle/percussion players doing seemingly little but being crucial at the exact right moment.
  • Notable Quote:
    "I was watching them…what they're doing is super important…you're waiting, you're waiting, then you hit the thing, then you're waiting again." – Luke ([39:15])

7. Portland Weirdness: Nearly Getting in Fights at a Bus Stop

• A chaotic Lyft pickup leads to a confrontation with aggressive bus riders, confusion over identities, and a reflection on the old-fashioned nature of nose-punch threats.
  • Notable Quote:
    "If this guy really wants to fight me, he's not going to also be boarding the bus as he's yelling, I'm gonna break your nose." – Luke ([46:43])

8. International Listener Shout-Outs & TBTL "Connection"

• The donor thanks segment highlights global listeners (Germany, Korea, US). Luke and Andrew muse about the widespread reach and peculiarities of podcasting and listener games like Wordle and Connections.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Hair Color Vanity:
  "I'm having a fully open casket, Andrew. I mean head to toe and I'm talking–"
  "No, full–"
  "Yeah, when I say fully open casket–"
  "I mean full frontal casket." – Luke & Andrew ([17:43–17:59])

• On Percussion’s Critical Moment:
  "The thing that you only have to do once a day is the hardest job to do. Because if you miss it, you miss it…"
  "If these triangle players missed their moment, you could argue it's the hardest job." – Andrew ([39:30])

• On Halloween Costumes:
  "We've now dressed up…as kind of a package deal…we were Ken and Barbie, but I was Ken Jennings. Then last year Ben Franklin & Jerry Blank. This year, French mod and poodle." – Luke ([15:07])

• On Music Detours:
  "I just typed in who was The Romantics lead singer…and there's a photo of him here, he's holding something…it's got strings on it. I don't think they're drums." – Andrew ([11:01])

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Important Timestamps

• 00:01–01:00: Cold open with lawyer/accountant banter and intro
• 02:10–03:11: Golden Globe for podcasting satire
• 12:29–26:54: Luke’s Halloween costume; gray hair epiphany and vanity debate
• 29:14–31:48: Portland Symphony recap; percussion talk
• 41:57–46:17: Portland restaurant escapades; bus stop altercation
• 54:33–61:40: Pet costume contest details, rain-soaked chaos, and Halloween party recap

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Flow & Tone

As always, Luke and Andrew intersperse jocular self-deprecation, pop culture references, and gleeful tangents, creating a conversational, improvisational feel. Even as topics slide from aging anxieties to bar fights, they maintain a tone of warmth and shared amusement—never taking themselves (or the world) too seriously.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

If you enjoy stories of accidental self-discovery, Halloween chaos, orchestral frogs, neighborhood gripes, and the grand melodrama of podcasting, this episode’s a quintessential TBTL journey. Luke’s gray-hair revelation will resonate with anyone grappling with vanity, while the endless digressions—from drummers to Halloween couples' costumes—capture the show’s unique blend of humor and heart.

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“It’s incredible that we are still here doing this because of our donors, because it is such a weird world of who is—who’s being rewarded in the world of podcasting and who isn’t and who’s being venerated…” – Luke ([68:50])

Transcript

[A]

All right, just let me do the talking here, okay? I mean, he's a lawyer, I'm an accountant. We speak the same language. I mean, obviously, accountants are a little more bad boy, but there's a respect there.

[B]

When will this be over?

[A]

Hey, Trevor, I've been talking to Ron about estate planning, and he is here to do some goodwill hunting. He has to draw up a new will, so. Yes, I understand, Mr. Wyatt. Thank you. As I've said before, I just don't like puns. Oh, well, my accountant friends seem to enjoy them. Tbt.

[B]

El.

[A]

You are not good at this.

[B]

Because you are not believable in your face, okay? Your face. It's bad.

[A]

The reason why I chose Comic Sans was because the letter was intended to be humorous.

[B]

I mean, it was supposed to show that the letter was like a hilarious newspaper cartoon strip, like Kathy. So you've gone insane. That's fun. Usually I don't think my brother's that much funny, but I got to give him some credit for that one. That's a pretty good spoof.

[A]

Why don't we go get a beer, I'll give you some advice, and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest. All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of TBT all the show this might be too beautiful to live. Hello, CD listeners. My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[B]

I'm a professional. Look it up in the book.

[A]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we barely survived a wet, windy weekend. I mean, it was sideways raining. I came home from my time in Portland to find one of my hummingbird feeders just shattered. The other one is still operational, though, so we're just going to read. We're going to redirect all of our resources towards the operational hummingbird feeder. But now, today, it's like. It's weird. It's. It's definitely not raining like it was yesterday. It's. It's kind of an odd combination of, like, cloud, fog. We've got the fog and then also sunshine.

[B]

California got sunshine.

[A]

I have the window shade pulled because there was too much California got sunshine coming on one side of me. But then as I look out onto the mighty Columbia, I see a lot of cloud. Fog. Anyway, here we are, folks. Ready to go on this Monday with episode 4584 in a collector series. Let the fog. Exciting Monday morning for tbtl, because it turns out we may be in the running for a Golden Globe of podcasting. Give me the go.

[B]

I want to go.

[A]

As long as we're willing to pay a lot, a lot of money to the Penske Media Corporation to be considered for the honor of winning a Golden Globe in the podcasting division. Yeah, everyone's got a podcast. I dressed up this weekend as a, I guess, French guy from the 60s, and there was something that happened, connected to that, to my dressing up for Halloween this weekend that has me considering a pretty major decision in the hair department. So we'll talk about that. And speaking of cute hair, let's talk about this guy.

[B]

If you've got cute hair, I'm gonna.

[A]

Say, damn, girl, you got some cute hair. He got a haircut last week on a rare Thursday afternoon that was uncluttered for him. He's also the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh. He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[B]

Good morning, Luke. And we just had another co host enter the studio. Literally, as you introduced me, we got a Bingo the Cat here who might be interested in. We're going to see if he's interested in cracking a mic. I'm not quite sure yet, but he's definitely. If you could.

[A]

I mean, honestly, he's a sort of the third member of the podcast now because he's often in that room with you. Certainly during our sound check. I would say it's now more. It's more the case than not. It's more often than not that during our sound check, he jumps off of the shelf above you, trampolines off of your back, and goes off on his way. That happens most mornings now, but then he's usually gone by the time the show starts. Because he doesn't like your podcasting voice, right?

[B]

He does not like my podcasting voice. I know I've said this a million times, but it's amazing when we're recording after these messages.

[A]

Not alone.

[B]

He's not alone. The reviews are in. Don't tell the Golden Globes committee, but Genevieve and I will be in here. 2.

[A]

$70,000 will take care of any of those problems, my friend.

[B]

We'll be in here together talking in our normal voices, like the people that Bingo knows and lives with 24 7. We're all in the room together. And then we'll do a sound check. Everything is fine. And then the second we begin the show, and again, without headphones, the cat can't hear the theme music or drops or anything like that. It's just a shift in My voice when I say, hey, everybod. Welcome. After these messages, he beelines it out of here like. Like I be lined it out of my dad's car when he was playing the Carpenters as a kid. And of course, I was on the wrong side of history there. The Carpenters are awesome, but I didn't know it at the time.

[A]

Well, that maybe that means that someday Bingo will appreciate the true majesty of this show. We are the Carpenters of podcasting. I'm a Waifish drummer and you're my brother. Is that the basic structure of the Carpenters?

[B]

Yes. You. No, no. He was the piano. He played piano. She played drums. Right. I think.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, he played Karen Carpenter. Karen Carpenter did play, by the way.

[A]

I've heard underappreciated drummer. I see people who, I don't know. I don't know anything about. I don't know a flam rest from a flemmy voice, but. But I've heard from. I've seen people on the Internet saying Karen Carpenter was an underappreciated drummer. She kind of really, really kind of slapped.

[B]

I saw that too, at one point. I don't know how much she drummed. Once they became huge stars, though. I don't picture. I don't know. I'm literally saying I don't know. I feel like she might have done that earlier in their career, but then once they became huge stars. Can't you picture her like in some sort of like an almost evening gown kind of. Maybe I'm. Maybe I'm conflating.

[A]

Don't praise the machines, but you and AI Overview are fairly aligned on this interview. Karen Carpenter was a talented drummer who co founded the Carpenters with her brother Richard. But her singing career eventually overshadowed her drumming. She preferred to be known as a drummer who sings.

[B]

Oh, cool.

[A]

And was initially the band's full time drummer playing on all of their songs. Before 1974, her drumming was highly praised by her peers, including the legend Hal Blaine.

[B]

Oh, Hal Blaine was on board with that. Is there a hyper leak there? Do we know who that is?

[A]

He's no Gene Krupa.

[B]

No. Or the guy from the Romantic.

[A]

Reference I could make.

[B]

What about the guy from the Romantics? He didn't he drum and sing at the same time? It's what I like about you. That's the only time I'm doing that. I just remember the video.

[A]

I thought that was definitely not your worst singing impression.

[B]

You know what I'm talking about, right?

[A]

Well, I know the song. Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen. I've never got eyes on what the Romantics actually looked like. I definitely know that song, but I didn't know that that was a.

[B]

It's strange to see. And I'm gonna say something here that is going to insult both drummers and left handed people, but that's a.

[A]

That's a huge part of our demo.

[B]

I know that's like a third of our audience right there. And I do mean this with. With sincere peace and love. Sort of strange, especially for a song like that, which is very lyrics heavy, you know, and like a very poppy song. It's. I just remember watching that video and thinking that it's. It's a strange thing to watch. Not unlike when somebody grabs a pen with their left hand and starts writing and I'm just not ready for it. I'm like, oh, wow, that's an interesting thing to see.

[A]

Well, I've always found it like kind of from a. Just a cardio standpoint, pretty impressive someone is doing the drumming and sing. But I also think it's a. It must be a funny conversation. Again, I say this with peace and love to drummers. Drummers have every bit as much of a right to be the leads on bands as anybody playing any other instrument. But there is, because it is rare. You got your Phil Collins, right? You've got your guy from the Romantics. You got your Karen Carpenter, pre1974. But it is not the usual to see the drummer also being like the singer. And so I wonder about that first band practice when the band is getting together and you got. The person's got the guitar and the mic and then the bass player, maybe another guitar, and then the guy in the back on the drums and it's like, all right, let's go for our first song. And the guy on the drum starts singing and everyone just goes, wait, what are you doing? He's like, no, I'm the singer. They're like, you're the drum guy. But I'm. Yeah, but I'm also the singer.

[B]

Am I totally wrong about this? Is he just doing backup? No, no. There it is. Okay. I started freaking out for a second because.

[A]

Are you watching a muted version?

[B]

I am. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Because of what I like about you.

[B]

It begins with like. It looks like a guitar player.

[A]

Keep on whispering in my ear. Tell me all the things that I want to hear. Because that's true. As long as he says that part, he is in my mind, the lead singer.

[B]

So let's see Here. Everybody's sort of singing right now, kind of doing this part. This is the drummer right here.

[A]

Okay, good. He's. You're right. Oh, yeah, this. This is the. These are the money lines.

[B]

Now my question for you is, does he sing lead on this, all of the Romantics songs, or is it just this one song?

[A]

The part where I bet you a thousand dollars you can't name another Romantic.

[B]

I certainly cannot. And it would interesting. If this. If you are right. Like, wasn't there a joke? I remember my musician friends had a joke that was something like, what were the drummers last words before he got kicked out of the band? Which was, hey, guys, want to try one of mine? I think that. I think that gets close to the joke that was bandied about in the 90s. But I do wonder if the Romantics were like, oh, okay, yeah, you can do. You can do one song and then it ends up being their one huge hit. Or is he the drummer, the lead on all of their songs?

[A]

I'm. I'm just. This is causing. This is not causing me. This is allowing me, Andrew. This is an opportunity for me to spend some time on the Romantics Wikipedia page. By the way, from Detroit, Michigan.

[B]

Oh, really? That's cool.

[A]

And which kind of makes sense to me. I feel like there was a lot of music coming out of. Not. I'm not talking about Motown.

[B]

I can't think of any.

[A]

No, but I mean, stooges, MC5. Oh, yeah, right. Like, you know what I mean? Just like there was, I feel like out of a second wave of Detroit music. And so what I'm trying to do, by the way. They played various venues in their early days, including the Agora in Cleveland.

[B]

Oh, heck, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. Very much so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The album sold. Their first album sold roughly 200,000 copies. It yielded the hit what I Like about you, which reached number 49 in the U.S. wow. Only number 49 in the U.S. yeah. I would have thought it was a number one hit. I think that's a pretty famous song.

[B]

Yeah. You would think that in its heyday, it would have at least topped the charts.

[A]

They loved it in Australia. It got to number two in Australia, where the band was especially popular as all four members. Andrew, we're getting to the important part of this now. As all four members were singers, the straightforward beat of what I Like about you lent the opportunity for drummer Jimmy Marinos to take the vocals.

[B]

So just that song. Because I typed in. While you were doing all that. I just typed in who was The Romantics lead singer. And I see that somebody named Wally Palmer. And there's a photo of him here. He's holding something. It's got strings on it. I don't think they're drums.

[A]

Ain't a drum. Yes, but that's really. So I'm. From what I'm getting from this Wikipedia article, it's like, think about the. Again, this is a non drummer talking about a groove. But like, probably what I like about you had such a sort of steady beat to it. It involved such. It was so not varied that it was like, well, let's give this one to the drummer because, like, he can play the drums and sing the song.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

The time signature is not changing throughout a bunch.

[B]

And like the words end up being their big hit. And the words are sort of on the beat. Right. A little bit. Like. I don't know much about, like, dot. He's basically playing the drums with his mouth. That's my. That's. Oh, look at you drinking from your little. From your little TBTL mug. That's. Oh, my face is melting.

[A]

Yeah, you're. I gotta be honest with you. It's about quality. It's really about quality of life for your decal on this. On this coffee mug. At this point, we're just trying to make you comfortable.

[B]

You knew that I like.

[A]

You're not long for it.

[B]

You put me in the.

[A]

I started with no face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By the way, my character never had a face, but in mine and glasses. But actually, can we.

[B]

Yeah, let's transition. Is this a good transition?

[A]

Can we take the opportunity? Because it's. It's actually very funny. This representation of me on this coffee mug.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Is legitimately related to something that I wanted to talk about with you today based on my. My dressing up this weekend. My. My Halloween stuff. This. The. The. The image of me that they use. So I'm holding up this kind of like. I guess it's actually sort of maybe Tiffany blue coffee mug. Maybe it's a greenish blue anyway. That we offered as a tbtl. Thank you gift, I think, back in our American public media.

[B]

Yeah. Best thing's probably about 10 years old. It's got the art that Megan made for us that we use as a logo for a long time. Sort of our face.

[A]

Yeah. It's got your face and my face. You've got glasses on. I don't have. There's less distinction to my face, but I do have pretty distinct hair in this thing. And if I remember right, this image of me is Actually, the original photograph was, I think, some. Some sort of publicity shot from Cairo, from the Cairo days. I think they took a picture of me and I think I kind of liked the picture. So I think when we moved to APM and somebody there said, or somebody somewhere said, hey, can we get a picture of you? I think I started submitting that one because I think I kind of liked it. Now, that picture will come back to be part of the story in a little bit. So this weekend for. For Halloween, because this was sort of like the de facto Halloween. Well, you know, actually, I think Friday will be the de facto Halloween because it's a Friday night, so people are probably going to go buck wild. Which makes me wonder why were we all going so hard on Saturday with the Halloween. I noticed a lot of people were in costume. I was at this pet costume contest we do sometimes when Halloween falls on like a Wednesday or Thursday, then the preceding weekend is going to be when the people who like to do Halloween stuff are kind of, you know, leaning in. Except in this case, I. They're kind of double dipping.

[B]

Right? Yeah, I didn't, didn't I ask you that last week when you mentioned the Halloween thing? So I was like, I don't understand why we're a full week away from Halloween and everybody's treating last, you know, this weekend that we're just coming off of as Halloween weekend. It's literally Halloween weekend next week. People are just like, doing that thing that they do with their birthdays. It's like, hey, it's Halloween month.

[A]

Now, I will say this as far as this pet costume contest at Scott's bar, at becca's Brother's Bar, 21st in Portland. It's because to do that on Saturday, the Saturday after Halloween would be kind of. I think people will be a little bit gassed. You know what I mean? Like, so Halloween itself is a Friday night. People will go out. People are going to be going crazy this Friday night. But as far as, like, if you're doing a Saturday event at a bar.

[B]

That'S more of an early. It's not. It's during the day.

[A]

Yeah, it was like a two in the app or four in the afternoon. It's just. It's just. I think it's harder to get people to. It's weird. Why would we care? But I think it's harder to get people in a celebratory Halloweeny mood the day after Halloween.

[B]

No, that.

[A]

At a bar, in the daylight. Then let's say a week before. But so. So Becca Wanted to. We've. We've now dressed up. I didn't even realize this. I think at least three Halloweens going back three Halloweens, if not further. We've dressed up as kind of a, some sort of a package deal. The year of all the Barbie stuff, we were Ken and Barbie, but I was Ken Jennings. Then last year we were Ben and Jerry. I was Ben Franklin, she was Jerry Blank from, from Strangers with Candy. And then this year, because we've been babysitting, Becca's been babysitting Gigi the poodle. Becca thought, well, why don't we just do something French, like put some bows, some, some French bows in the dog's hair, which is really her ears. And. And then Becca was going to dress up in a kind of with a beret and sort of like a French gal from the 60s. And then I was going to be like a kind of like a French mod, like from a Godard film. By the way, shout out to listener David who spotted me on Instagram in a photo and said, you're dressing exactly like I do all the time out of a Godard film. Like a band of outsiders. So I was gonna, I got like a kind of a two. I actually went to H and M and bought a suit that was too small for me because, you know, I wanted to, I wanted to try to look like a, like a cool French guy from the 1960s with like a half smoked cigarette and a black skinny tie and a suit that was a little bit too small and critically, Andrew, because I found this one photo of a French guy from the 60s looked pretty cool. He had this kind of like tousled sort of tousled hair, tousled jet black hair. So I wanted to try to do that to kind of complete the look. So I get the suit, we get all, we get all, get the hairspray at CVS on Saturday and I get in the suit and everything and I get all ready to go. And then Becca goes, oh, we gotta like, we gotta spray your hair. Because my hair is, is very gray now on the, on the sides it's, it's pretty much pure gray getting towards white. Everything that's on the lower, sort of lower part of my head is now fully gray on the top of my head has a lot of gray in it. And here's the thing about my hair, I've talked about it endlessly on the show that like I put a powder in it sometimes so that I look, my hair looks a little less thin on top. I take like a generic version of finasteride, which is a pill that I think was supposed to reduce prostate inflammation in its original conception. But they noticed that the guys who were taking were growing hair that they didn't intend to. And so like every, pretty much every life saving drug in America, it immediately was converted for its cosmetic use. Like, enough with the cancer. Oh, this makes your earlobes smaller. Yeah, everybody start taking it.

[B]

You look beautiful in that casket.

[A]

Yeah, precisely. I'm having a fully open casket, Andrew. I mean head to toe and I'm talking.

[B]

No, full. Oh no.

[A]

Yeah, when I say fully open casket.

[B]

I mean full frontal casket.

[A]

Full frontal casket.

[B]

Oh, no, that's rough stuff.

[A]

Yeah, that's our show title on this Monday also. It's kind of Halloween. It kind of has a Halloween vibe. Sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, so anyway, I, I. Of all the things about my hair over the years that have caused me anxiety, the thing that's never caused me anxiety is the fact that it's going gray. That is something that hasn't, has not bothered me. I have been like, yeah, that's what my hair's doing. I just don't care. I've always been like, I'd like, personally, I'd like to have enough of it left that it goes gray. Like to me having gray hair is. The existence of gray hair presupposes the fact that you still have hair.

[B]

Yeah, I've always thought that I've, you know, even, like, even as a kid when I kind of knew I was going to lose my hair just based on family history and the way things were going, I still always thought I would look at people like Steve Martin or whatever and say, boy, you know, like it's, you know, white or gray hair can, is, is, is really cool looking and you have a full head of it. Why not?

[A]

And also, by the way, another thing too, I want to be careful with how I'm talking about this, but I also think that when somebody, particularly a guy, I guess, is losing their hair, when their hair then starts to go gray, I think it actually really kind of like can really make the look sort of nice. Like I think having, having gray hair that's, that's thinning or maybe has gone away, it all just kind of makes sense visually based on just what we've seen, what the experience is. I've always thought, well, if my, if what's left of my hair goes away, but, but my hair is kind of gray, it makes visual sense. It just says, that's the point in life I'm at. It just says I'm getting closer to death. And that's fine. But here's what happened on Saturday. So Becca, spray. First of all, whatever the ex. Whatever the propulsion, the accelerant is in a can of like black hair. It's not hair spray. I guess it's hair coloring, you know.

[B]

Oh, the stuff for Halloween. Oh yeah, yeah, yes, the temporary hair coloring spray.

[A]

Yeah, temporary hair coloring stuff. Right. This was called. This was. They were trying to sell this year round. It was. It had something on the bottle about like root cover up. I think it's like if you're someone. I guess the official use would be if you're someone who is coloring your hair. But then of course what happens is the roots are growing out. And so now you like all of your hair might be a lustrous black, but now your roots are actually gray. They're growing out. And now you want to spray this on your roots so that the roots of your hair match the rest of your hair. I think that's the, that's the stated proof. But. But we bought it just to, you know, make all of my hair look black like the guy in the photograph.

[B]

I'm not convinced that the root spray isn't some sort of subsidiary of Root Sports and it's just John Stanton's way of affording a third basement next year. But we will see.

[A]

They've actually just. And by the way, they've just announced that they're turning it over to mlb.

[B]

Yes, of course they are.

[A]

MLB will now be doing all the updates on my root cover up. Yes, Spray stop. So the first thing that I was shocked by with it was how frickin freezing that stuff is. When. When Becca was spraying it on me, it was physically cold, the spray, it was like spraying ice onto my body. Now when I was Ken Jennings a few years ago, I. She sprayed my hair blonde. And what's weird is the blonde spray didn't seem to be nearly as cold. I don't know why the color would matter. Maybe it was the different product or something. But as she's spraying this on, I'm like, oh my God, that's really like intensely cold on my head. And I was also shocked at how long the process took because it turns out my hair is mostly gray now. And in order to cover it all up, in order for all of it to be black like the guy in the photo I was trying to be, it took a considerable amount of this hairspray coloring stuff and it took a while. We finally get it all on there and I mean, I Thought it looked absolutely ridiculous. I thought I looked sort of like you. We've all seen this person who's maybe, you know, definitely a person who's, who's, who's up there in years, but they're dyeing their hair like a jet black. But it's pretty clear that if they were not dying at their hair would be much more gray because of their age particularly. I see this with guys sometimes and it's like, you know, you just kind of see somebody who's got this like maybe they're in their 70s or 80s and they have just dark black hair. And you kind of. My thought is always like that's, that is not maybe having the desired effect of causing us to think that your hair is that color. Like you might want to tone it, maybe tone it back like two shades. Like maybe that that level of jet black is a little bit, it doesn't quite fit with the rest of the picture. That's who I looked like. And I by the way, look nothing like the guy in the photo. I just gave that up immediately. Like I was not going to look like a very cool, attractive 27 year old French guy from the 1960s. It turned out that was not a realistic goal for me with this Halloween costume. But here's what else happened. As we're going around that day, we're going to various places, Becca kind of says, wow. And by the way, Becca very much likes my hair as is very complimentary towards me. Maybe too complimentary towards me.

[B]

Me.

[A]

It's not somebody who's got me in my head about my looks or my hair color at all. But she did say, she goes, wow, I just keep catching you out of the corner of my eye. You look like 10 years younger. She was like, it is crazy how much younger you look with this hair dyed down like this. I was like, oh yeah, right, whatever. And then I start checking it out in the mirror when I'm like going into the bathroom at the bar doing different things, I'm catching myself in the mirror as I'm walking into different spaces and stuff and kind of like going, oh, I guess I do, I do look a little. And she goes, you know what you kind of look like? She goes, there's this picture of you on the Internet, which Andrew, by the way, I'm pretty sure is the original picture that has been, you know, adapted for our coffee mug. She goes, you kind of look that. There's a picture of you on the Internet that you kind of look like, by the way, one of like three I feel good. Pictures that have ever been taken of me. And so that was. I don't think she realized what she was saying, but that was. Now, of course, you know me, Andrew. That's like, oh, could I go back to those days? Could I go back to those. Those halcyon days of like, when my hair was much darker and I was a little bit younger and maybe a little less jowly and like, you know, just the ravages of time were not what they were. I guess my point in all this is to say I have never for one second of my life considered actually coloring my hair. And I'm still not there yet. But what I feel like this weekend was, was a small seed was planted. A seed. A seed. I mean, listen, I'm living in a forest of vanity already, but an acorn of. An acorn of new. A new special kind of vanity was planted this weekend, which I think will eventually grow into a tree of me coloring my hair. I am going to be that guy who's in his maybe like 70s or 80s, who's got jet black hair and is sitting on the E line and is going to be fooling absolutely no one. But I'm going to be doing it because it never even occurred to me that my. My hair being a little bit less gray would actually have the effect of making me look a little bit less 50.

[B]

I am astounded sometimes at how I walk this earth and think that I know you so well. And in a lot of ways this.

[A]

Is surprising to you.

[B]

You and I do know each other very well. I just can't believe how damn wrong I would be about something. And by the way, what I'm about to say, you should do whatever you want with your hair, and that's fine. I'm not judge. I'm not weighing in with a judgment on this decision or possible, let's call it a pre decision. But you put something in the show sheet today about, yeah, something happened this weekend that changed my outlook or the way I'm going to do something. I don't remember what it was, but it was intriguing. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. And then during the intro of the show today, you mentioned that it was hair related. And I think you even maybe mentioned that it was Halloween related. And somewhere in the back of my head, Luke, and this is. I am. Who am I to think that I know you? I thought, oh, I'll bet you Luke got a glimpse of himself. And by the way, I always think your hair looks nice. And you Describe what goes into it. And I don't see that with my naked eye. Like, oh, you do not look like a man who is putting all the work into your hair that you say, I think your hair looks very nice. I say that sincerely. But when I heard your intro, I thought that you were going to say, I caught a glimpse of myself or something on Halloween and thought, I don't need to jump through all these hoops anymore. I'm a man of a certain age and I can let my inner hoops be natural. And I honestly thought, oh, this will be kind of interesting because obviously I gave it refreshing.

[A]

The word you were thinking of was refreshing.

[B]

I gave up on my looks back when I was about 13, 14 years old. So, you know, consider the source. I'm not trying to, but how dumb was I to think that, like, Luke's going to kind of just. He's going to take this opportunity to maybe say, hey, I'm 50 now. I'm going to go a little bit more natural. And it's like, nope, get out the shoe polish. Get out the shoe polish. We're going deep.

[A]

So anyway, we are getting more hoops. I need all the hoops. Get them in here. I bought a hoop fowler.

[B]

I bought a hoop factory in Germany.

[A]

Well, I called it. I call.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

I thought that was a. I bought a Bowling Allerry joke. That was a Henry's. That was a Harry's razor joke.

[B]

Right? Yeah.

[A]

But yes, I. Yeah, I have never. And then the thing was, I didn't. I didn't. I was so tired because again, it's so rare that I stay out past the hour of 9pm anymore. It's so. It really is kind of rare that I go out slash stay out. We weren't even out that late. I think we were out till like 9:30. But that was plenty for me. That was enough that when we got back to Becca's place, I was like. I was like, I cannot wash this stuff out of my hair. I gotta go to sleep. I'm tired. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. We. We addressed that. I said, can I get a towel or something to put over one of the pillows because I don't want to mess up the pillowcase. Well, you have like a weird pillow here that you brought one time. And I was like, fetch me my weird pillow. She got me my pillow. And I don't mean that in the Mike Lindell sense, but you don't.

[B]

Don't sense either.

[A]

I slept. I don't not mean in that we're Both bankrupt. But I got. So I slept on. I slept on the pillow that I brought over, and, boy, did it take a beating that night. But I got up in the middle of the night to pee, say, and. And again, it's like I'm groggy, and I turn on the light to go into the bathroom. And then as I'm sort of washing my hands, kind of still trying to keep my eyes mostly closed. I'm trying to not fully wake up again. It's like my hair, it just. It just was so much darker and it was. And it just. It presented so much differently in the world. And I guess it's just. This is something that for all of my vanity and all of my mods, my modifications, that I think about trying to do on myself to forestall the inevitable and blah, blah, blah. It's like hair. Changing the color of my hair has literally never been on the list. But I guess what I realized was, like, oh, this is why people do that. I'm not gonna go do that starting tomorrow. But it was like. It's just strange to me that, like, of all the things that I've done to try to impact how I present in the world, that one was just never on the list. And now, I guess I would say it's. It's closer to being on the list than it ever was before because of a joke. A joke Halloween costume hair decision.

[B]

So, you know, we'll watch the space.

[A]

Hey, speaking of, our big night out on. This was on.

[B]

Yeah. I want to hear more about this event.

[A]

Well, the Halloween the dog contest was really fun. There were many prizes were given. Many cute. Many cute dogs were dressed up. It was all kinds of different outfits. A lot of people showing up in inflatable costumes. I was calling them freedom fighters. Yeah, that's the move in Portland is just like, you know, they're basically. The whole town is sold out of inflatable anything. Because if you. Now, if you wear particularly a frog. If you wear an inflatable frog costume in Portland, you are aligning yourself with justice and the fight for democracy.

[B]

I would say that. I mean, it started in Portland, but I will say that after that no Kings protest. That was just last Saturday, Right? Wasn't that last weekend? That was the. No, it seems like that has definitely jumped into the national discourse. I think that the people in any party stores that are selling or renting those costumes are doing quite well.

[A]

Brisk business. Also yesterday we went to the Oregon Symphony. They had this great kind of. It was like spooky music which just means an excuse to play. Oh, you would have loved this, Andrew. The Batman soundtrack. I mean, among other things, it was like, you know, they played the theme from Psycho. They played, you know, a bunch of different. Just like, pop, orchestral, a lot of movie soundtrack stuff, but also from the. The Tim Burton Batman, man. The Danny Elfman.

[B]

Danny Elfman. I kept on thinking, Mr. Oingo Boingo. How can I not think that's who.

[A]

You'Re thinking of, man? That is a great piece of music they played. They also played some stuff from wizard of Oz, including this part that was not actually in the. In the movie. There's this kind of jitterbug scene in the middle of the. Famously that was intended to be in the middle of the. Of the movie. And they. They didn't include it in the final version of the film, but you can see it on YouTube and stuff. And they're playing and it's beautiful. And then they just cut in. They eventually get into, like, Somewhere over the Rainbow. I mean, these were a lot of medleys. To hear a full orchestra do Somewhere over the Rainbow, like, with no vocals, just the. Just the orchestration of it. It was like I was holding back tears. Also, half of the orchestra was dressed like frogs, which was amazing.

[B]

Are you being serious?

[A]

I'm being totally serious. They, like, they basically said, it's, you know, it's Halloween. Dress up however you want. So the whole orchestra. This is like a hundred people, are all just dressed up as, like, whatever they want to be. So there's frogs. There's one. The guy. One of the guys on the huge upright base was the Grim Reaper, and he was like, on rollerblade. So he kind of looked like he was floating around the stage.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

With his whole percussion section.

[B]

His base wasn't on wheels.

[A]

His base was not on wheels. But as he entered the stage at the schnitz, he sort of. He was gliding between all the other people. It was a very effective. The. The percussion guys were all rocker dudes. They all had, like, sunglasses and kind of, like, long hair. The thing about percussion, I don't know the last time you were at, like, a. Like a full symphony performance of anything. Andrew. The percussion guys, boy drummers are really coming in for it today on tbt.

[B]

I was going to say, did they let him sing?

[A]

They. It always feels to me like the percussion guys are kind of phoning it in, but they're actually doing a very important thing, like. Like the triangle, because you're watching. Okay. The orchestra is like, you know, you've got all these people that have spent their. I mean, their life in the study and the practice of the viola or the violin or the oboe. And these just. You watch somebody play the violin at that level. And if you're somebody like me, you just think, I could never. In my. In my life. If I dedicated every hour of my life to. I could never do that. That is impossible to me. Then you watch a guy who's got like a wig on and sunglasses and a Metallica T shirt and he's playing a triangle, and you go, I could do that. I feel like I could pull that one off.

[B]

That reminds me of. And again, like, if somebody's playing the triangle, they probably have a deep, you know, knowledge and they're playing on other things. But it does remind me of. I've been listening to you, like the band the Sundays as well, right? Oh, I sure do.

[A]

It puts me in a mood, though.

[B]

Yeah. And so I've been listening to that first record a lot lately. Reading, writing and Arithme Arithmetic. By the way, sorry to steal the mic for, please a second here. And so I had in the back of my head that I've been. I've been listening to this record. Maybe I pulled it out a couple of weeks ago or whatever. And I say pulled it out, I mean, just digitally. And so I'm just regretting a lot of words today. And anyway, I was like, oh, this is one.

[A]

I don't even let you talk. How could you be regretting words?

[B]

I know, I know. I'm just like.

[A]

I've been dominating.

[B]

I just said I pulled it out digitally. And I'm just like, I don't think that that's thing those that moving on. But I had it in the back of my head the past couple of weeks. Oh, this is something I should definitely get on vinyl because this is a record that I love from my youth. I will listen to it a lot. And it's just. I always like to have a list of just sort of like, oh, yeah, if I'm in a record store, look for this one. Just give me something to look for. And for me, the idea is maybe you never even find it, or it takes years, but eventually you stumble on it. I walked into. I was on the bus heading into Ballard. I had to get some stuff done in Ballard. I'm like, oh, you know what? While I'm there, I'll stop in Sonic Boom Records. I'm on the bus, by the way. I'm looking up. I'm reading about the Sundays on their Wikipedia page. I didn't really know much about the band's makeup or whatever. I get to the part of the Wikipedia article that describes the lineup, and one of the people is just. It's like lists, four people. And one of them is just like, tambourine from 1992 to 1995. And I take a screen cap of it and I send it to my friends. And again, I don't mean any disrespect. I have no idea what's going on with that person, but it's just funny to see. Well, there was a period between 1992 and 1995 that I was crushing it on the tambourine for the Sundays. But like, no other credits that I could see that I found interesting. Here's where I'll wrap up my story, and then we'll get back to yours. My apologies for the interruption, Luke. I walk into Sonic Boom Records. The display case right in front of me is just Chock a block with this record and their second record, Blind.

[A]

And I Don't Believe in a Dog.

[B]

And I'm trying to figure out if it was re released recently. I thought it was rereleased a couple of years ago or something. I have no idea. I even said to the person I was giving them my backpack. I was like, you probably don't want me knocking things over in your store with my backpack. You can put it behind the counter. And I'm like, also, I'm sorry for this boring story, but I came in here to, like, just see if you guys might have this record. And it's the first thing you have as I walk in. And she's like, yeah, sometimes it just happens. Sometimes it'd be like that. Anyway, I was really shocked by that. But now back to your story.

[A]

By the way, speaking of very lush orchestral arrangements, like, what's the. Oh, wait, you know what? That's not true. I was just doing something there. Andrew. I was conflating in my mind the Cranberries on Sundays.

[B]

I did see a cranberry, because I.

[A]

Was thinking about Linger by the Cranberries, which has that really beautiful strings kind of beginning to it. And I say that with peace and love to Dolores O'Reard and rest in peace. I know the Cranberries are not the Sundays. I actually, my relationship with the Sundays is. I've probably told this story before, and I'll try to keep it pretty brief, but I had that. I had that same. I had that cd, reading, Writing and Arithmetic. And my senior year of high school, I only had three Classes because I had transferred schools, and at Jesus Creek, I had, like, almost gotten enough credit to graduate from high school. I just needed a few little credits here and there. So there was a significant part of my senior year where I would just be done with school at, like, 11 in the morning or something. So I would come back home, and for whatever reason, the house would be empty, which is weird considering how many kids there were, but I guess everybody was at school or somewhere. My mom would be out in the wind, and I would sit on the. I would. I would. I would get on our sofa in the living room. I'd put that CD in, and I would listen to it, and I would pull this very. We had a very shitty Afghan blanket, which, you know, it, like, was knitted so that it was. Do we call it. We call it an afghan?

[B]

I think so, yeah. And isn't it kind of. Is that. Is that crochet or am I using my crochet? Yeah, it's got the. You can. Your toes. If you fall asleep in it, your toes will poke out the holes by the end of your neck. Right.

[A]

And what I. What I always say about an afghan is it's. It's more not blanket than it is blanket, which I've never understood.

[B]

It's like jazz. It's. It's the space in between the blanket.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. And, like. And so I would get under this very. This not particularly warming blanket, and I would listen to that CD as it was raining outside because it'd be that time of year, and I would think, I cannot believe I'm about to be a father.

[B]

Oh, yeah, whatever. I mean, this album. This album already has that sort of emotion. That's why I said, yeah, wow. Yeah, definitely.

[A]

Because it's. It's. It's. It's. It's such a great record. I love it so much, but it's like I cannot. And I mean, I still listen to it to this day, and I definitely. If I hear it on, you know, a Pandora or whatever, I'm not nexting it. Like, I love. I love, love, love the Sundays, but it will forever catapult me back to that moment of my life, you know, because it is. It's a kind of. In a way, it's a little bit of a. Would you say wistful?

[B]

Yeah, wistful is a great. Yeah.

[A]

So. All right, so back to catapulting back to. To Saturday night to the triangle. I do want to say this about the percussion guys. I was Watching them intently the whole performance. And the thing is, what they're doing is super important. It really is. First of all, they have to read music. They have to really know how to read their music because the timing is so critical. And every time there was a cool thing happening with the performance, it was because the percussion, it was because they were coming in with that triangle, it's because they were coming in with the timpani, it's because they were doing a tambourine. Andrew. Like, it's. It's sort of like this thing where you're kind of not doing a whole lot until you are. And then when you are doing something, it's totally critical to the song. The song would not sound the same. The experience would from the audience perspective would not be the same without these folks on percussion. So I want to make sure that I'm honoring that craft. But it is kind of a thing where it's like, you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting, then you hit the thing, then you're waiting, waiting, waiting, then you hit the thing again. And they're always quietly putting something down and then quietly picking up the next thing that they're about to be dealing with, you know, Anyway.

[B]

Well, you know, my old boss, Vince Duffy, the then news director at kuow, told me one time there was some task that I had to do that was related to like, remember radio stations used to be real sticklers about, like, you'd have to do this one EAS thing, not even an on air test, but you'd have to go in, push one button and grab a little piece of paper off of the machine that spit it out and log it somewhere. Right? We all had to have these, like, these licenses from the FCC in order to work at a radio station and do weird things like that. And it was such a holdover from a different time. But anyway, I remember one of my jobs was to do that, like literally once a shift I had to go into this one room with all this tech and literally push one button and then tear a little receipt out of the machine, I think. And my boss warned me, said, like, these are the hardest jobs. The thing that you only have to do once a day is the hardest job to do. Because if you miss it, you miss it. And it's so easy to not work into your routine. Think about if these triangle players, yes, Missed their moment. It's the, the, you could argue it's the hardest job. And also if they come in at the wrong time, it's really going to be Noticeable.

[A]

That was the part that stressed me out. No, you're absolutely right. Like, I was seriously, like, I mean, I know these guys. These people know what they're doing. I mean, they're in the Portland Symphony, so they, like, they're good at this. But I was always just like, okay, please, please hit this at exactly the moment you're supposed to hit it. And they always did.

[B]

They practiced.

[A]

Was a very fun day on Saturday, but. And. But there were many people dressed up as frogs in the symphony, and that made me very happy. I feel like that. I don't know anywhere we can be pushing back, but back to Saturday night. So we. The cosmic was really fun. And then Beck and I went out and just kind of visited a few different places, kind of did a little. Little food here, a little food there. We did end up at this restaurant called La Orange that has very, very good reputation in Portland and is very hard to get a table at. And initially when I got there, I was like, oh, boy. Andrew would hate this, because there's nowhere to wait. It's in an old Victorian house that's been converted. And so we get there, and the. The. The. The host says, oh, your table's not quite ready, so why don't you just wait here? And I'm looking where here is, and here is a tight hallway, because, again, it's a house. It'd be like if the waiting area was in a hallway in your house. Andrew, you're in Genevieve's house. It just so happened that, like, what is currently your living room was, like, the kitchen or something. Like, it was.

[B]

I've been in a restaurant like that in Wallingford. You've probably been there, too. Do you know the place I'm talking about? Tilth, I think it's called, or something along those lines. Isn't that in a converted house who. You literally wait on a porch or something? This sounds like a different style and probably fancier, but I eaten in a house that's been turned into a restaurant before. It is a strange feeling.

[A]

And I was just like, okay, well, we'll just. We'll just flatten. And also, it's like all the servers have to go through this. It's like how they get to one of the other dining areas and like. And. And we're, like, flattening ourselves up against the wall to try to make room for everyone needs to go through here. And I was like, I don't know about this. And then we sit down, and it's one of those things where the server Kind of has that vibe of, like, tonight. I have tonight. My. Tonight, my morels are freshly harvested from. And I'm just like, say we.

[B]

Just say we.

[A]

Everything in my mind is. Everything in my mind is rebelling against this experience, except for the fact that it was the best food that I've had.

[B]

I was gonna say years. I'll bet you that it was so good. Yeah.

[A]

Because Becca and I don't eat a ton of, like, red meat. We are all often going to a restaurant that's like, everyone's raving about it, but because we don't aren't getting the thing they're, like, known for, we're always like, I don't know. It's just. It's. It's often the case that we're not getting the full positive experience of a place where, like, it was fine or whatever. And that goes for a lot of, like, places in Portland that are considered very cheesy. This was incredible. It was like every. I mean, it was. It was a totally amazing meal. And I would highly recommend to anyone in Portland if you get a chance to go to this l' Orange place. Just you have to put up with the fact that it's very uncomfortable to wait to go to your table. But everything else about it was amazing. Big fan. But this is what happened on our way to that restaurant, Andrew. So we were bopping around in various lifts and Ubers, and I'll spare you the details of us almost getting in two different fights at a bus stop as we were leaving restaurant number two. Well, I won't spare you the details. I'll give you the details really quickly. We're coming out of. We had gone to this little kind of wine bar restaurant called ok Amen. Amens to get a little glass of wine and a little appetizer. This was on our way. This was the penultimate stop of the night. This was the stop before we went to La Ronge. We're coming out of that place. We had called an Uber. And our Uber, who was a very nice person who I think spoke fairly limited English, had just. It was raining like crazy. And our Uber pulls up outside the restaurant and unknowingly has pulled into a bus lane, has pulled up near a bus stop. And now there are two people that are waiting for the bus and the bus is also pulling up. And obviously this. This Uber driver is not supposed to be there, but this Uber driver, one thing, they're in a very small car. They are. Actually. There is more than plenty of room for the bus and the and the. And the car to be there. The car is not supposed to be there. The car is in the wrong place. But it's also not, like, right in front of the bus stop. It's kind of ahead of the bus stop. So it's. It's impinging on the situation, but not to a degree that makes it so that the bus is not able to do what it's supposed to do. And here's. Here's what happens. We come out of the restaurant, we're walking towards. Nobody even associates us with this Uber. But there's this individual, this guy, and I presume his girlfriend or whatever. There's two people that are waiting for the bus. And when this Uber pulls up and is kind of somewhat in the bus area and pulls over, this guy and his. Whoever he's with, they just unload a string of expletives on this Uber driver. Just this, like, righteous indignation of loose, like, f you in the F and bus lane, like, menacing him. The guy was really large, too. Just, like, kind of. And I could see that the Uber driver is in the car, like, really kind of freaked out for his safety. These guys are, like, yelling at him. And. And, like. And the bus, by the way, is now waiting for them. The bus is pulled into its area. It's got the door open. The Uber driver, like, floors. He gets out of there. He's like, yikes, sorry. And this guy's just like, yeah. And he's getting on the bus. I go, like, was that really necessary? And the guy, like, look. Turns around and looks at me like, what? And then he starts screaming at me. He's like, I'll break your nose. This guy who had been yelling at the Uber driver as he's getting on the bus. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was. I was like, if this guy really wants to fight me, he's not going to also be boarding the bus as he's yelling, I'm gonna break your nose. So I was like, whatever. Like, you don't have to be a jerk to people.

[B]

I will say, generally speaking, the threat of punching somebody in the nose is kind of a classic that I feel like is, I don't know, under appreciated in this day and age. Now, breaking of the nose is a little bit. It's more violent than I would say. But if he had yelled, I'm gonna punch you in the nose, you'd be like, you know what he said? I'm gonna punch you in the nose or I'm gonna break your nose.

[A]

Oh, I Find them both to be quaint, honestly.

[B]

Yeah. The punching. I'm gonna punch you in the nose, though, is really way cuter than I'm gonna break your nose. That's playing results a little bit, but.

[A]

You'Re right about that. But actually, that's part of why I didn't feel overly threatened, because it wasn't like, I'm gonna shoot you. I'm going to. I'm gonna kill you.

[B]

It was like he turned around and said, I oughta.

[A]

I'm gonna spray you with a seltzer. With a bottle of seltzer water. It felt quaint. It felt. It felt. It didn't feel like very actually threatening to me. It felt more like he was just in a mood. He was yelling and. But. But so that. This was the craziest part. So we're now trying to. So the Uber is gone. Now the Uber's disappeared. Because he was getting screamed at by this guy so much.

[B]

Probably thought.

[A]

And so they're always you.

[B]

Boy, these customers are getting worse and worse. Probably thought, Luke Burbank. It's a zero star. I parked and he started screaming.

[A]

I know, right? I should actually check my rating. So the. So, so now that guy and his. Whoever he's with, they're getting on the bus, but another guy who looks kind of like him has been just walking up the street unassociated with this. And Becca turns, and in her mind, she thinks the guy has gotten off the bus and is coming to fight me, which he hasn't. He's now on the bus. So she turns and she sees a different kind of burly guy, kind of longish hair, and thinks he's now here to fight me. And so she's kind of saying to him, sort of puts her arm out to his shoulder. And I know it's not the guy, obviously, she puts his arm on his shoulder, is like, come on, come on, don't. Or something.

[B]

And he is weird. For him, it was.

[A]

And by the way, he was also. How do I put this? He was a little rough around the edges, too. This guy was itching. So he wasn't just like. He wasn't like, miss, you may have mistaken me for someone else. He was just like, get your effing hands off me to her now. And to me. And now, of course, I have to be like, keep going. Keep it moving, buddy. Keep it moving.

[B]

We.

[A]

And that was fine. Nothing happened. He would. But he was very resistant to Becca interacting with him at all. And she was confused, thinking he was the guy coming off the Bus. I was like, I can't believe we had two near fights in 20, tops. 20 seconds trying to just get to this Uber.

[B]

But anyway, but he did mention that you looked way younger with your hair spray painted.

[A]

And, and honestly, that's why I gave him five stars. Top, Top flight review. So, so that guy loops back around and finally, we finally get in the car. And I was like, hey, sorry about that. He was like, yeah, I didn't know what was going on or whatever. I said, yeah, that's like a bus lane. He's, oh, I didn'. Or whatever. I was like, okay, so we're trying to go to the restaurant. We get stuck behind a train. There's this train that goes through Portland that's not like a passenger train. It's, you know, it's freight. Portland has this weird design as a city where, because, you know, Seattle has those huge trains, but it's generally organized so that you, you won't get stuck on one side of it as just a person who's trying to commute in Seattle. You know, there's overpasses, there's different ways that it's, it's sort of set up so that you, you can't literally get stuck behind a train for 45 minutes. Portland doesn't have that. There is this section of Portland kind of on the, on the east side, on the southeast side of Portland, where you literally can just get stuck on the wrong side of this train that's just parked for some reason for like 30 to 40 minutes. It's just like a complete day ruiner. And so we get stuck on the other side of the train. I'm trying to call the restaurant that we're going to, to say, I know our reservation is like at 9 or whatever, but we are on the wrong side of the train. They're not picking up because nobody, no restaurants of a certain, like, level of fanciness now answer their phones.

[B]

You know, I don't know any restaurants that answer their phones anymore.

[A]

I guess I'm not trying to call Chipotle as much as I'm trying to call.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Maybe. But I bet you Chipotle doesn't answer their phone either.

[B]

We should test.

[A]

But, but, but, so, so we're sitting there, we have all this time to kill. We're waiting for the train, and I'm now making small talk with our Uber driver who's kind of like, he's, he's calmed back down, he's all right, and very like, you know, English is definitely not his first language. And so we're having this conversation, but there's a bit of a language barrier. And we're talking. I forget what we're talking about. Oh, I know he's. He happens to be originally from Ukraine, and we're talking about Ukraine and we're talking about. And he's talking about some people that he knows in the Vancouver, Washington area. And he's somehow the subject of poker comes up. And when I used to play in a lot of, like, late night poker games, it used to be with a lot of folks who were originally either from Russia or Ukraine. Like, that's a big part of the demo of people I was playing with. And, and I said, oh, do you play cards? And he said, no, I kind of learned my lesson on that. You know, basically, like, I kind of had a problem with it. I was like, yeah.

[B]

He holds up one hand that's only got like three fingers on it, and.

[A]

He goes, you know, yeah, I had a, I was, had a problem. I was like, yeah. I go, I'm. It's. It's much better for my life that I'm spending a lot less time in those, in those poker, you know, rooms late at night or whatever. And that was without Chauncey Billups being there. Andrew, you know, that was.

[B]

I was playing your face. They weren't even face card. You talk about the face card.

[A]

Yeah, that was without that face card being there. But so he. And again, I can't overstate how funny this was to me because this guy's English was very, very. Was very limited. So he decides, he goes, and I won't do like, my impression of him or whatever, but he basically says through very. Again, through. He's got like every sentence. Like, it's like four of the eight words are English and then the other are kind of like, like we're piecing it together here. He basically says, yeah, there's a joke that represents kind of how compulsive gambling works. I was like, oh, yeah. And he's basically says, like, these two guys go into the casino and one of them is like a really compulsive gambler, and one of them just like, has a gambling problem. And the, you know, they both win a bunch of money early in the night and they're all happy and celebrating, but by the end of the night they've lost all of their money. And in fact, they're walking out of the casino. And the really compulsive gambler, he is totally naked. He has lost all of his money and lost all of his clothing. And the guy who has a gambling problem, he's also lost all his money and all of his clothing except his underwear. He's just walking out with his underwear. And the naked guy, the compulsive gambler, turns to him and goes, see? You always know when to stop.

[B]

That's pretty good. I was like, I'm also.

[A]

That's a good joke.

[B]

I'm also being told. Or I'm picturing that being told by John Malkovich in Rounders. I don't know if that's Teddy kgb. Imagine Teddy kgb.

[A]

Yeah. I mean. And again, it was the fact that, like, a lot of what this joke was not even really. Kind of like the language barrier was funny. Like, the joke. To me, the joke was so good, so strong as a joke that minus many of the details I needed. Like, I'm adding in the word compulsive.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

I'm adding in the word problem. Like, I'm filling in a lot of the details. What I got from the joke was a naked guy and an almost naked guy leave a casino. And the naked guy says to the almost naked guy, see, you knew when to quit.

[B]

It also makes me wonder, like, who accepted their clothes as bet money? You know, like, who wanted that guy's underwear, too? Like, would you accept?

[A]

You and I value.

[B]

And I were in some sort of a. I call it a gambling room, which means I'm ready to go to Vegas in January. But, you know, if I took off my underwear and put it in the pot, like, I do wonder what the value of that would be to the other people at the table. Listen, I. We are almost an hour into the show. We haven't thanked the donors yet, but I'm gonna do something here that I have never done before, which is. I'm not. I'm not playing the donor music. I'm not doing the donors until you tell us about the dog costume contest. I don't understand your silence on this. I asked you earlier who won the pet costume contest.

[A]

Like, I had no idea you were hosting it. I was hosting it, but I wasn't the judge.

[B]

What are you. There were.

[A]

I'm hiding that. I think every pet might have won something.

[B]

What were they? What did they dress up as? We all. We all closed the show on Friday, wanting one thing on Monday, which is tell us about the adorable dogs in their costumes. And we're now working.

[A]

I'll tell you. Okay, okay. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. It's a lot of pressure on me to Live a life and then report back. I want a full report on darts on Saturday.

[B]

I'm not getting that either, happily. I'll tell you about my Saturday day.

[A]

So some of the memorable outfits were. Some of the memorable outfits, costumes, I should say, were. One very cute kind of yellow laabish dog was dressed up as a. A roll of Charmin toilet paper. And that dog's owner, human companion, whatever, was dressed up as a poop emoji, like toilet paper and poop. There was a. A really cute dog that was dressed up as. See, this is where some of it also falls apart, I think. Georgie, a character from the it movie, but not the Pennywise. Like, what's. Have you seen the it movie?

[B]

I saw the one in the 80s, I think. Yeah. And then I saw the first half of the new theatrical release a few years.

[A]

Okay. So there's like, you know, obviously there's the clown that's Pennywise. Right. The scary clown. But then there's also something or someone that's in like a raincoat with a balloon.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's kind of iconic. I don't want to, after some missteps on Friday show that I'm still living down. I'm not going to try to fill that in, but, yeah, I can kind of picture that iconic image. Yeah.

[A]

So there was a dog that was like, in a little orange raincoat that was like holding a red balloon that was along with a Pennywise. There was a different dog that was dressed up as Hannibal Lecter, which was. Which was interesting because when you put a Hannibal Lecter mask on a dog, it just seems like this dog shouldn't be around other dogs. Yeah, but the dog was a sweetheart. The dog had no behavioral issues. It was just. It was just a. You know, the owner, the person who was owned this dog was the same guy that was dressed up as Pennywise. He had two dogs. He was obviously a horror fan. So both of his dogs were kind of in the. I guess if you call Silence of the Lambs horror genre. There was. There was a. An owner or like a human companion of these dogs. It was a hot dog, and one dog was mustard, and one dog was ketchup. That was really cute, too. What else?

[B]

What.

[A]

What else was going on? See, part of why I'm having a hard time remembering is because I'm. If you want me to get into it. Andrew, being the emcee for this was an actually a fairly challenging job for a few reasons. One, all of. There was these little forms that people would fill out they would write in their names and they would, oh, you know what one dog was dressed up as? And this is where you're going to be no help. Because I'm. I'm sketchy on this movie and I know that it's not in your area of expertise.

[B]

Please be gummo. Please be gummo.

[A]

There was a dog. So the guy. The owner of the dog was Ace Ventura, and the dog was Dan Marino.

[B]

Oh, so laces out, right?

[A]

Lace is out. There's a Dolphins. I know that there's like the. The. A part of why the bad guy in Ace Ventura wants to kill someone is because of the laces out the. Some dolphin subplot. But I don't know. The dog was wearing a Dan Marino jersey, but I don't think Dan Marino is in the movie. Like, it was stuff like that. You know what I mean? It was sort of like. It was like. There was a lot of costumes. Oh, and by the way, I'm reading these forms that people are giving me, but it's in their handwriting. And I just want to say most people's handwriting in this day and age is tough to read. People generally, I don't know, it just. It was difficult. I also have bad eyesight now.

[B]

I can't read any writing. Even nice writing. It was barely read.

[A]

It was torrentially raining, right? And we're out on this back deck, which thankfully was covered, right? It's covered with like a. With plastic and stuff. So we were mostly dry, but there were some holes in the plastic where the rain would come through. Guess where one of the holes was? The place where we're keeping the cards that people had filled out. So half of the cards I was reading had been. The writing had been partially washed away by the race. I know this is what I'm saying. So I'm there. I'm trying to read. And also it's like, you know, there's a lot of names in circulation now that are not names that I grew up with, Andrew. Both of dogs and people. So I'm reading, like, you know, creative spelling of a name like Kimberly, and I'm calling them. You want to talk about, like, this is the kind of stuff I think that would get you in your head, too. It's like somebody's name is Kimberly, but it's spelled C Y, M B E, R, L Y. It's in their handwriting, and it's. Half of it's washed away by rain.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

And I'm in front of a bunch of people going, yeah, right. I'm in front of a bunch of people going. And next up, we have Kahlua. One of the dogs is named Kahlua. Also try that on first sight. Ready? We've got Kahlua and so. And so. And they're with. Is it Simberly? Oh, no, it's Kimberly. And they're with Kimberly. And I'm trying to, like, vamp this whole thing as people are walking around. It was a nightmare.

[B]

It sounds like a nightmare. There's a scene in the.

[A]

The horror show was happening for me.

[B]

Do you remember the scene in the Jerk where he's reading the breakup letter that Bernadette. Peter left him, but he's in the bathtub and he gets wet, and it's just such dumb Steve. Art. He's just like, I'm leaving Rob. And he just starts imitating what the letters sound like when they're. When the ink is washed away. Well, you gave us a taste. That's all I asked for. I just wanted a little bit of the vibe of what dogs were dressed up as.

[A]

It was. It was. It was absolutely adorable. It was absolutely adorable.

[B]

The whole kind of dressing up, like, as. As sort of a paired costume or something like that does remind me. I was at the Eagles on Saturday, and there was. I don't know if it was a costume contest going on or. I thought there was supposed to be one. Genevieve was heliar from Severance.

[A]

I saw that.

[B]

Really, really good. But anyway, there were just a bunch of people dressed up, and there was somebody. And I meant this totally as a joke, by the way, but I think they overheard me, or I think the guy might have overheard me. I felt bad, but there was a couple that had showed up as a bee and a beekeeper, and he was the beekeeper, and she was the bee. And I said something like, I don't know about the feminist implications of this or something, but I said that the Genevieve totally is a joke, and I think that he heard me, and then I just left.

[A]

Yeah, that was it for. And do you. Obviously. You didn't dress up.

[B]

I didn't dress up, no. I just wore a shirt and pants.

[A]

Did you have to do the joke? I'm. I'm dressed as a. Did anybody ask you, what's your costume? You're like, I'm a podcaster.

[B]

No, you don't. No, I mean, I think we're well beyond the whole kind of, like, what are you. I'm comfortable or whatever. No, I think we're. We're all set on, like. I got to A certain age and people stop asking when we're gonna get married, too. It's just like, luckily, I'm certain things.

[A]

Things you're not.

[B]

And not everybody was dressed up either. Like, some folks were showing up at our table who were just there to have a couple of drinks. Like I was as well.

[A]

But was anybody there looking especially youthful with maybe darker hair than you associate them with?

[B]

You know, it's funny. I saw somebody that I thought was like you from the past. He was so full of energy and youth. And I assume it wasn't you, but now it turns out it might have been you. Did you come up to Seattle and I didn't recognize.

[A]

We popped through.

[B]

Just popped through really quickly. You wanted to see some. What's the band that plays? That's Genevieve's boss's band was playing. And they have the name. Oh, sure, yeah.

[A]

The dad band. The Tigers, right?

[B]

No, they have a Jaguars. They have a real unfortunate name. The Jaguars. The Titans. Isn't it like the yelling Koala Buccaneers. We're going to name all of them. That's not unfortunate, just AFC south teams. What I was doing there. Trout mouth.

[A]

Trout mouth. I did I say piranha yells. I feel like I had. I had fish and it doing something.

[B]

Do you know there's a band from the 90s called Michael Learns to Rock? No, I'm looking this up to see if I'm right. Yeah, there's a band called Michael Learns to Rock. We needed a song for the other podcast the other day, and Genevieve grabbed it. It was like. Right. It was exactly what we needed for whatever theme we were doing. But I'm like, this is by a band called Michael Learns to Rock. They were a Danish soft rock and pop band formed in 1988. Look them up.

[A]

Thank you, baby.

[B]

Luke.

[A]

All right, let's sing.

[B]

I'm sorry it's raining all over the daily donor list you have. I don't know how you're gonna read any of these.

[A]

Cymberle Kalua.

[B]

Sorry to interrupt.

[A]

Our first supporter, actually. By the way, this list is dry. It's safe, it's digital. It's right here on my computer. And of course, we treat with. We treat this list with reverence because without these folks, these people who are donating money to our show each month, we would not have a show. We would not be able to do this five days a week. This is. This is listener supported podcasting and only exists because of folks like Bernhard Schneider, who's out there in Grefelfing. Germany.

[B]

Germany. Our Reach, Luke. We're reaching out there to Germany.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

I wonder where Grefelfing is.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

You have somebody. I'm looking it up right now. Is it a suburb of Atlanta?

[B]

It is. It's pronounced De Kalb.

[A]

You really hit the L. Grefelfing. Germany. It's a municipality in Germany. Okay, see here, I'm zooming out. I'm zooming out. Oh, it looks like it's not super duper far from Munich. Wow. Bernhard, thank you so much. We appreciate you tuning in from all the way across the world. Elizabeth McElreath is in Springville, New York. It's a little closer. It's not super close to where we do the show.

[B]

That's our friend.

[A]

That's our friend. Bet.

[B]

Right, Bet. Exactly. Who just happened to reach out the other day and send a text message in. Bet. And I used to share our wordle scores every single day, and we sort.

[A]

Of fell off every time that bet. And I hang out for an extended period of time, I end up getting drawn into the world of wordle and the world of categories.

[B]

Oh, categories.

[A]

And I. Do you play categories?

[B]

No. What is that?

[A]

That's the other big New York Times game.

[B]

Connections.

[A]

Oh, Connections. Do you play Connections?

[B]

I do play Connections. I used to boycott it because it's made by one puzzle master, and I think that she does a lot of disingenuous stuff that makes me angry. But then I got. I had a delayed flight one time, and I just found myself going through the back catalog and just. Just punching them out one after the other, and now I'm sort of addicted to it again, and I sort of have got the rhythm down.

[A]

I'm terrible at Wordle, but I'm. I'm 5% less terrible at Connections. And so I. That's the one that, like, Becca will be playing wordle in the morning, and then I'll, like, jump on Connections. And I could see getting into that as a. As a regular habit I don't think wordle will ever take with me. I just. My. My brain is not wired in a way that I'm very good at.

[B]

That. I did it right at midnight last night, in fact. And this is a.

[A]

So you did today's.

[B]

I did today's right at midnight. And this is such a. Such a. Such a deep, deep cut. I even sent a note to Genevieve after she did it. And so I'm gonna give a little clue here. So people who are familiar with the TV show Severance and remember details of it. I thought today's word was either apt or ironic given Genevieve's costume over the weekend. But that is such a deep cut that Jenny.

[A]

Multiple costumes this Halloween.

[B]

By the way, she did Daria a couple of weeks ago for something she went to. I don't know what it was, but I think the main one is Helly R. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I saw the Daria one and then I was like, oh, I see we're going with Daria popping up.

[B]

Are these on? I didn't think Genevieve was on this private chat.

[A]

Genevieve and iron.

[B]

Interesting. She's just dressing up and sending you photos. Good.

[A]

Well, Maggie Ainsley is also on on the group chat as well. In Swarthmore. Our friend Maggie in Swarthmore.

[B]

Now, I officially and I could have done this for Elizabeth as well, who we call bet. This list originally said Margaret Ainsley. And I was like, this is our friend Maggie. So I made the executive decision to change it in the spreadsheet. I hope that was right, Maggie. If not, we will also thank Margaret Ainsley. Just outside film.

[A]

Okay. Just to cover our bases. Thanks also to Christine Durgan, who's in Awoso, Michigan. Gosh, what a great, what a great distribution of folks all around the country and the world. We've got Germany, we've got New York, we've got Pennsylvania, we've got Michigan, we've got Washington, Sea Galley. I don't know if Cindy Pestka of Seattle, WA was in Seattle in the days of Sea Galley, but that was a, that's a deep cut for my Seattle, Washington folks. Thank you, Cindy. Appreciate you. And then Rob Rundblatt is in Seoul.

[B]

Yes, Korea. Wow. Doesn't listen.

[A]

So look at that. Germany, Korea, Washington, Michigan, Pennsylvania, ny.

[B]

Why did this one end up being so international? Totally coincidentally?

[A]

It just, you know, that's the show we're doing, Andrew. That's the reach of this program. It's, it really is. It's international and it's a phenomenon that is taking over the media landscape. Now, I don't know if we're going to have time today to talk about our TBTL Golden Globe for podcasting, but we definitely on tomorrow show should talk about that because it was an interesting story dug up by our own John Sklaroff, which the more that I read it, the more angry I became. And then by extension, Andrew, the more angry I became, not angry, the more resentful I became about a very famous podcaster out there in the world. And it's not even them. It's, I guess what I'm trying to say is tomorrow I want to talk to you about how I'm feeling about the discourse around podcasting as a. As a thing. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Is it coming from a place of strength and confidence as a podcaster?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's what I pick.

[A]

I guess what I want to say is thank you to our donors. It's incredible that we are still here doing this because of our donors, because it is such a weird world of who is, who is, who's being rewarded in the world of podcasting and who isn't and who's being venerated. Hey, speaking of podcasting, let me throw something out here. At the tail end of today's show, we'll resurface this tomorrow. We've got a couple of special recordings coming up here, and we need to. We'd like to figure out what we want to talk about on those shows. And what we think we want to talk about are some more topics. Five lists, if you remember, listener Bobby sent in the top five beers. That is to say, the top five situations in which one could be having a beer. By the way, when I mentioned this to Becca over the weekend, she went shower beer and I said that it was on the list.

[B]

Yep. And campfire beer was another example. People were saying sneaky beer that you put into a Starbucks cup and take to your kids Little League game, that kind of thing. So we're looking for more lists. Not more beers, but more lists.

[A]

No lists. Things that, like, what is the top five ways to experience a thing? Remember, we also did popcorn. So those two beer and popcorn have been covered, but like, things that we've all done, things we've all experienced, and then the top five versions of that experience. And if you have thoughts, send them to andrewbtl.net, loopme and lukebtl.net and we're going to collect those up and we're going to run through some of them on some special broadcast that we're doing here coming up.

[B]

You can record it as a voice memo if you want and email it in, write it in, or call our voicemail line. 2064-1482-8520-6414. TBTL yeah.

[A]

And again, we'll remind everyone of this tomorrow since I don't know how many people made it to this phase of today's show. Anyway, that's gonna do it for today's episode of tbtl. Thank you all so much for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. Oh, so I'll also tomorrow Andrew get to tell you at 4:30 Tuesday morning, I'm going to be watching them make tofu in Portland for a CBS story. So I'll have a full report on that as well. So a lot will be, a lot's going to happen between today and tomorrow's episode. So please, if you can join us for that tomorrow. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, don't mount too tall.

[B]

And good luck to all.

[A]

Power out.