TBTL Episode #4592 “High Fives”

Date: November 6, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

Episode Overview

In this lively Thursday edition of TBTL, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh revel in their latest audience-driven content craze: Top Five lists. Building on a listener’s parody idea, TBTL crowdsourced and debated listeners’ best (and worst) “top fives,” ranging from the everyday to the deeply personal and absurd, all with the signature self-aware goofiness that defines the show. The episode pivots through evocative discussions about grocery store music, restrooms—in all their glory and horror—and culminates with memorable audience submissions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin Story of the TBTL Top Five Craze

• Listener Bobby inspired the hosts by parodying the Dan LeBatard Show’s “Top Five” lists, specifically with “drinking beer” experiences.
• Audience response was enormous, birthing a segment in which listeners send in their own “top fives” (02:05–03:20).
  • Quote [02:54]:
    Andrew: "Shout out to listener Bobby, who sort of kicked this off...He did his own take on what they do on the Dan LeBatard show, which is the top five list... we got so many voicemails and emails from people who wanted to add to his list or take exception with his list or our list or whatever."

2. Grocery Store Music: The Ubiquitous Shared Soundtrack

• The hosts riff on the phenomenon of “grocery store music” and how certain songs (like “Pave Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot”) tend to get stuck in your head unintentionally after shopping (04:10–06:38).
• Luke nostalgically recalls the role of Muzak—specifically its Seattle roots—and its association with “elevator music” (07:47–12:35).
  • Quote [05:08]:
    Andrew: "Maybe it depends on the neighborhood...if you’re in a Crows district or you’re in a Joni Mitchell district."

3. The True History of Muzak

• A debate on whether Muzak was Seattle-based leads to quick Wikipedia research confirming it was, between 1986–1999, with fun Seattle neighborhood trivia. The hosts affectionately roast their own urban legends (09:57–13:09).
  • Quote [11:19]:
    Andrew: "Muzak was based in various Seattle, Washington locations from '86 to '99..."
  • Quote [12:46]:
    Luke: "Elevator music was the worst possible thing you could say about music."

4. Top Five Lists: Content Preservation Methods

• The volume of good “top fives” from listeners inspires a bit wherein Luke suggests “vacuum sealing” content for leaner months—a play on canning versus Andrew’s “summer clothes under the bed” analogy (13:52–15:00).

5. Deep Dive: Top Five Most Satisfying Tinkles (Dave, NYC)

• Andrew reads Dave’s hilariously relatable and detailed “Top Five Most Satisfying Tinkles” (restroom visits), while Luke and Andrew riff and add their own observations (25:24–47:29):

  Dave’s List:

  1. The Work Meeting Pee: Relief after a pointless meeting.
  2. Middle of the Night Sit-Down Pee: That 3 am half-asleep, mostly eyes-shut bathroom break.
  3. One Hour Before Landing Pee: Managing your bladder before descent on a flight.
  4. The Rest Stop Whiz: Long drive salvation in a public restroom.
  5. Perfectly Timed Bar Pee: Slipping away during karaoke or a game for rejuvenation.

• Memorable Related Quotes:

  • Andrew (re: rest stops) [34:28]:
    "You never stop at the first rest stop that you need or want...and by that point, God, that is a good feeling."
  • Luke (re: bar bathrooms) [41:05]:
    "Being tipsy and peeing in the appropriate place is one of the great joys in life."
  • Andrew (re: the surreptitious outdoor pee) [44:47]:
    "The perfect crime. Oh, it's like a second life, because you have two different waves of relief."

• Hosts’ Additions:

  • Outdoor/camping pee for both the liberation and slight thrill of not being caught.
  • The “work pee you didn’t know you needed”—stress relief revealed as bladder relief.

6. Niche Top Five: Saddest Starbucks Experiences (Listener Summer, Seattle)

(48:04–51:56 via voicemail; Summer’s wit earns applause)

Summer’s Top Five:

1. Going to Starbucks at an “odd time” & being met by dead-eyed workers.
2. Full garbage, napkins on the floor, and a dirty service counter.
3. GPS takes you to a Starbucks inside a grocery store.
4. Nitro cold brew machine broken.
5. Bugs in the food case (ants and other horrors).

• Luke and Andrew both agree Summer could do her own Starbucks-focused podcast (51:02):
  • Luke: "I would listen to Summer’s Starbucks podcast 100%."

7. Minor Tangents and Running Gags

• A tangent about Roy Rogers, turnpikes, and the semiotics of different stopover types on U.S. highways (35:28–40:07).
• Andrew’s playful complaints about home recycling etiquette, Luke’s reflection on garbage can etiquette at coffee shops.
• Several comedic callbacks to TBTL’s “meeting notes” as a source for schtick approval (23:23–24:12).

Notable Quotes

• Luke [06:40]:
  "I like it when the people that work at a place, are actually enjoying the music that's being played on the overhead."

• Andrew [10:58]:
  "Top five things that Luke has gotten wrong."

• Luke [28:01]:
  "If I'm at home and I'm peeing, I'm sitting down. Really. I'm always looking for an excuse, Andrew...I will never miss an opportunity to sit down when it is presented."

• Andrew [44:39]:
  "The surreptitious outdoor pee...my God, the perfect crime. Oh, it's like a second life, because you have two different waves of relief."

• Luke [51:02]:
  "There's nothing worse than when you have garbage to throw away and the garbage can is over full and you're balancing your garbage on top of other garbage."

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–01:23: Playful cold open and banter (“Do you not remember one single thing about me?”)
• 02:03–03:20: Origin of Top Five List segment (shout out to Bobby)
• 04:07–06:38: Grocery store music and “earworm” discussion
• 07:47–12:35: The history and pop-culture of Muzak
• 13:52–15:00: “Canning/vacuum sealing” Top Fives for future use
• 25:24–47:29: Dave’s Top Five Most Satisfying Tinkles
• 48:04–51:56: Summer’s Top Five Saddest Starbucks Experiences
• 51:56–end: Hosts’ reactions, minor tangents, and closeout

Memorable Moments

• Luke’s misheard Big Thief lyric: He excitedly tells Becca that Adrianne Lenker is Diane Rehm’s granddaughter, only to discover later it’s Diane Lee, not Diane Rehm (18:20–19:58).
• The Surreptitious Outdoor Pee: Andrew’s poetic ode to the “thrill” and “perfect crime” of peeing behind a dumpster while waiting for the bus after beers (44:39).
• Summer’s Starbucks list cliffhanger: Her voicemail ends abruptly while describing the horror of bugs in the display food, to dramatic effect (50:23).

Recap & Takeaway

Episode #4592 of TBTL is a delightful, meandering showcase of what the show does best: turning ordinary experiences into shared comedy gold. Whether discussing bathroom breaks, regional gas station culture, or the existential despair of grocery store Starbucks, Luke and Andrew—alongside their dedicated listeners—celebrate the trivial in a bighearted, self-effacing fashion. The episode brims with quotable moments and is a thoroughly enjoyable listen or read, especially for those charmed by life’s most relatable minutiae.

Power out! (53:57)