#4601 The Secret Life Of Walter Mitigate

Summary

TBTL Episode #4601 — The Secret Life of Walter Mitigate

Air date: November 19, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

In this lively pre-Thanksgiving episode, Luke and Andrew meander through their trademark blend of observational humor, personal conundrums, and deep dives into topics ranging from the etiquette of celebrating holidays to reflections on barfly culture, the merits of Brazilian steakhouses, and the existential crisis of crooked blinds. Along the way, Andrew’s cat Bingo narrowly avoids disaster, and listeners are treated to a healthy dose of nostalgic food talk, life logistics, and the difference between maple syrup and “table syrup.”
Theme: Navigating changing traditions, habits, and the looming holiday season with wit, nostalgia, and a dash of chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Batmobile vs. Batman Mobile

• The show opens with a recurring bit about the correct way to say "Batmobile," which sets a playful, goofy tone.
• [00:01] Luke jokes: "Let's fire up the Batman mobile..."
• [00:12] Andrew corrects: "That's what I said."
• A familiar TBTL energy of light bickering and wordplay.

2. Thanksgiving Timing & Holiday Rules

• Luke discusses the unusual lateness of Thanksgiving this year, and how it throws off traditional rules about when to begin Christmas celebrations.
• [05:40] Luke: "I'm pretty into not rolling out the Christmas stuff for myself before Thanksgiving... But this year Thanksgiving is really late... I really want to set up my Christmas tree."
• Luke is torn: Should he decorate before Thanksgiving for the first time ever to maximize Christmas-at-home time, due to travel plans?
• Andrew, more relaxed about such traditions, learns Thanksgiving can fall from Nov 22–28, which is news to him. [12:27]
• [12:29] Andrew: "That is a pretty big swing, though. You're right. Like, that's a full week."

3. Holiday Plans & Brazilian Steakhouses

• Andrew reveals that instead of hosting "Friendsgiving" or doing something traditional with Veeves, they're joining friends at a Brazilian steakhouse, his first time since his early 20s.
• [18:42] Andrew: "We're joining our friends at a Brazilian steakhouse thing... where you’re going for meat sweats, where they bring the steaks…"
• They riff on the appeal (and aftermath) of eating at such places, "meat swords," and the best punny names for steakhouses:
  • [20:56] Luke: "There was a Brazilian steakhouse near where I was in Arlington... it was called 'The Grill from Ipanema.'"

4. Food Habits, Relationships, and Meat

• Both hosts discuss how relationships can alter food habits:
  • Andrew tells the story of Genevieve's transition away from veganism due to lack of options in New Hampshire and his Midwestern tastes.
  • Luke shares how being with Becca has nudged him toward healthier, "clean eating," and less meat—though he'll allow himself a "wild hare" day for a meat binge.
• [27:31] Andrew: "Being in love means going downstairs to the Burger King."
• [27:34] Luke: "... that's where that came..."

5. Barfly Movie, Bukowski, and the Fallout of a Boozy Life

• In a tangent about Thanksgiving at dive bars, the guys reminisce about the film "Barfly" and its depiction of alcoholism:
  • [16:25] Andrew recalls a "haunting" scene of an old drunk using a scarf to steady his shaking hand.
• [18:22] Luke inquires: "So is Mickey Rourke essentially sort of playing Bukowski?"
• [18:26] Andrew: "Yeah, he plays the Bukowski character... Henry Chanasky or something like that..."

6. Office Life Observations & Window Shade Disruption

• Luke describes his developing "Rear Window"-esque fascination with the offices across from his hotel room—particularly The Kaiser Family Foundation:
  • [29:35] Luke: "I’m having… a bit of a rear window type of relationship with these people that work across the courtyard from me."
• The "corner office" dynamic is dissected, as is the meaning of "C-suite," which neither host was clear on until recently.
  • [33:55] Andrew: "But it means that I'll never get that corner office because I think the C means you're like a CFO or a CEO…"
• The pair then spiral into a passionate, detailed blinds/shades discussion, proposing bottom-up blinds and expressing intolerance for crooked mini-blinds.
  • [46:39] Andrew: "One thing that I can’t abide is a crooked mini blind."

7. Personal Privacy Quirks in Hotel Life

• Luke describes his struggle between needing natural daylight and worrying about being seen by neighboring office workers.
• [51:13] Luke: "...I did not want to be in this room naked with the curtains open, but I also did not want to close the curtains."

8. Classic TBTL Banter & Donor Thanks

• Banter about donor names, travel plans, and the random goings-on in the office across the way.

9. Bingo the Cat's Near-Disaster (Most Memorable Moment)

• [60:02] Andrew's cat Bingo enters the studio, and, mid-podcast, singes his fur on a candle, causing Andrew to panic live on mic.
  • [60:25] Andrew (frantic): "Oh my God. Bingo just burned his ass on a candle. Oh my God."
  • The aftermath involves burnt hair smell, emotional fallout, and lighthearted philosophical reflection on the dangers faced by curious cats.
  • [63:03] Luke: "This is a personal moment between you and your cat's butt."
  • Both hosts agree to leave the real-time audio in, for podcast posterity.

10. Maple Syrup vs. Pancake Syrup – Email Segment

• [66:44] Listener Bill writes in to confirm Luke's experience: real maple syrup was a rare, protected commodity; the kids only got the cheap "table syrup."
• [67:08] Andrew: “This blew my mind… I just always thought when you say syrup, that… syrup is maple syrup. I didn’t know that there’s a more generic version…”

11. Breakfast Preferences & Pancake Philosophy

• A nostalgic dissection of why pancakes were culturally sold as the ultimate breakfast reward as a kid, but as adults, both hosts prefer the savory: eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, bacon.
  • [73:17] Luke: "...if I could snap my fingers and eat all of the savory, salty stuff that I want with no repercussions... I'd be fine with that."

12. Dessert Dilemmas and Banana Split Musings

• The concept of banana splits as a childhood fantasy versus reality, and which banana-based dessert they'd choose if "Saw-style" forced to eat one.
  • [75:09] Luke: “...I remember, like, finally being somewhere and having access to a banana split and being like, it's fine. I was taught that it was the absolute high watermark for, for things you could eat as a kid.”

13. Closing Thoughts: Cottage Cheese Endorsement

• Luke signs off with a sincere recommendation to give cottage cheese a fair trial in 2025, calling it his latest healthy obsession.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [05:40] Luke: "I really want to set up my Christmas tree... but I almost feel like this year, because Thanksgiving is almost an extra week late, I feel like I might forgive myself if I decide..."
• [18:42] Andrew: "We're joining our friends at a Brazilian steakhouse thing... the thing where you're going for meat sweats, where they bring the steaks..."
• [27:31] Andrew: "Being in love means going downstairs to the Burger King."
• [46:39] Andrew: "One thing that I can't abide is a crooked mini blind."
• [60:25] Andrew: (panicked) "Oh, my God. Bingo just burned his ass on a candle. Oh, my God." (Cat survives with singed hairs and a story for the podcast ages.)
• [63:03] Luke: "This is a personal moment between you and your cat's butt."
• [73:17] Luke: "If I could snap my fingers and eat all of the savory, salty stuff that I want with no repercussions... I'd be fine with that."
• [77:23] Luke: "Imagine a Dove bar... but when I'm biting through that chocolate into... a banana... that's a downgrade..."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:01–00:26 — Batmobile wordplay
• 02:13–05:39 — Thanksgiving lateness & Christmas decoration conundrum
• 12:27–14:54 — Calendar minutiae, traditions, and birthday talk
• 18:42–21:36 — Brazilian steakhouse plans, meat sword lore
• 25:05–28:29 — "Barfly," Bukowski, and romanticizing bar regulars
• 29:35–36:01 — Rear Window office observations & C-suite confusion
• 46:39–48:35 — Blinds, shades, and window treatment deep dive
• 51:13–53:03 — Luke’s hotel privacy rituals
• 60:02–63:03 — Bingo the Cat's Candle Disaster (must-hear podcasting!)
• 66:44–67:26 — Maple syrup vs. table syrup email revelation
• 73:17–74:57 — Pancake as breakfast centerpiece vs. reality
• 75:28–77:55 — Banana split cultural mythology
• 81:04–81:39 — Luke's heartfelt endorsement of cottage cheese

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Tone & Style

Cheerfully meandering, comfortably confessional, and packed with affectionate ribbing and TV/podcast/food references, the episode embodies TBTL’s unique style—a meandering but ever-engaging blend of high-quality goofballery and real-life relatability.

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For New Listeners

This episode is classic TBTL:

• No strict agenda, but no shortage of personality or relatable minutiae.
• Standout highlights include the ongoing holiday navigation, a chaotic and hilarious animal crisis, and the show’s ability to turn window blinds into a major topic of the day.
• Tune in for the sense of friendship, the candid glimpses into daily life, and the feeling of being along for the ride.

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Power out!

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

So let's fire up the Batman mobile, go to a taco stand and eat some feelings. Okay, okay. I just. I think it's Batmobile. Batman mobile. Batmobile.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I said.

[Luke Burbank]

Batman mobile. You're putting the. There's no man. It's just Batmobile. Batman mobile. Batmobile. Drop the man. Batman mobile.

[Andrew Walsh]

Batmobile.

[Luke Burbank]

Batmobile.

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, somebody has run out on the field. Some goofball in a hat and a red shirt.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now he takes off the shirt. He's running down the middle by the 50. He's at the 30. He's bare chested and banging his chest.

[Luke Burbank]

Now he runs the opposite way.

[Andrew Walsh]

He runs at the 50, he runs at the 40. The guy is drunk, but there he goes. So look, why don't you download my blog? It's free. Of course, we do appreciate donations. I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal.

[Luke Burbank]

Crash into me. Crash into me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who.

[Luke Burbank]

Said, you have reached the end of your free trial [e-mail]. what a wise man. What's on the agenda, my friend? Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live Life's a potty wiper body. My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host. Oh, my God. He admitted coming to you once again from Washington D.C. here in our nation's capital, trying to get these clowns to cooperate. You know what I mean? I don't know if that's going to be successful or not. So in lieu of that, I'll just help present episode 4601 in a collector series. Let the fun begin of TBTL on this very show. Some number of years ago. I don't know if it was some number of years ago. Maybe it was some number of months ago. It all kind of blends together, if I'm being honest. At some point we reported on what was described as potentially maybe the first space crime that had ever been reported to law enforcement.

[Andrew Walsh]

Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, now we have an update on that space crime and what really actually happened. So we'll talk about that a little bit. Oh, and we're going to talk to this guy. He is the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. And he is a newly minted Dungeons and Dragons adjacent enthusiast. You play to win the game. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. You know what? I'm just remembering now, and this time, just in time, I feel like one of our favorite things on this show about 10 years ago was when I discovered a little audio drop. It wasn't even really a drop. It was like one of those little sound boards. And it was holiday related because it was a sound of a turkey gobbling. And I think we loved it so much because you hated it. And so I speak in the royal.

[Luke Burbank]

We loved it so much. I think you loved it so much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, we, I'm used. Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

I heard somebody say, oh, you and the listeners.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think that me and the listeners loved it. I also, I heard somebod. This is a little bit Burbankian, or modern day Burbankian, I would say. I heard somebody on my favorite local sports radio show misuse the royal we. And I for a brief. I did not do this, but for a brief moment, I almost texted with a very. Because I'm a fan of the person who did it. But with a very gentle correction. I did not do it. But they said we. But they were speaking on behalf of the team. This is a host, a radio host. And I think she said we, but she meant the Seahawks. So she said the royal we. And I'm like, ooh, that's not what the royal we means. The royal we means.

[Luke Burbank]

What does the royal we mean? Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think now here's where I.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a thing Prince Andrew is not allowed to do anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

It's topical.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what. Like, you never know where the show's gonna go. But you keep it topical, Luke. Which I really appreciate. That's amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm trying to drain the swamp while I'm. I appreciate what not going well.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what you call it when you go to the bathroom, which I think is really gross, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Drain the main swamp.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I think it just means. No, I didn't. Correct. And I'm pretty sure what it means is when you use the first person plural instead of the first person singular, because I, a king or a queen, speak on behalf of the people. So we say, we would like a croissant.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the royal we.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so.

[Luke Burbank]

But really, you're just. You really mean yourself, but you're calling yourself we.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. You're not saying we speaking on behalf of a group when you're not on that team, which is always unusual.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh. Huh.

[Andrew Walsh]

What are.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we want the soup of the Day.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do we want the soup of the day? Well, guess what? It's turkey.

[Luke Burbank]

It's back, baby. That's not what I've heard. Meals like spiced turkey meatball, pitas with bib, lettuce and carrot salad. That's what I've heard it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like the turkey drop. How about some meat? You like turkey? Who you calling turkey? I feel like my turkey drop, which brought so much delight to the people of TBTL land a decade ago. I always forget about it now until it's actually Thanksgiving day or the day after Thanksgiving. And a whole. I have to wait a whole year. But now we're like, we're kind of the proper amount of time away for me to break that out. Right. What are we? We're almost exactly one week away from Thanksgiving on this.

[Luke Burbank]

A week and a day.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, so are you.

[Luke Burbank]

And Thanksgiving is really late this year. So, you know me, I'm. I'm pretty into Christmas stuff, but I'm also pretty into not rolling out the Christmas stuff for myself before Thanksgiving because, I don't know, I just like it to feel special and whatever. Obviously there's the whole overly grumbled about thing of the stores rolling out the Christmas stuff in September or something. But this year Thanksgiving is really late. It's at the way end of the month. So I've almost had this feeling of shouldn't it be Thanksgiving? Meaning then I can get into my. Like, I really want to set up my Christmas tree. I want to start. I have that. One of those Frasier fur diffusers that I think you and Veeves have as well. But I like, I. That's. That's a Christmas time smell in my house and. But I almost feel like this year, because Thanksgiving is almost an extra week late, I feel like I might, I might forgive myself if I decide because there's another mitigating or I don't know if it's mitigating factor. I don't want to get a text from you. Correct me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you'll get it.

[Luke Burbank]

Mitigation. There's another factor in how I'm thinking about my holiday celebration, particularly my Christmas celebration. So I'm here, I'm walking around D.C. there's lots of Christmas trees that are up in the, you know, in the stores and restaurants. A lot of really beautiful lighting actually, and it makes me happy. But then I catch myself and I say, I'm not allowed to be happy about this yet because it's hasn't been Thanksgiving. But like, I've already mentioned Thanksgiving very late this Year. And then also I'm going to be traveling. I'm going to my family's thing next week for Thanksgiving, per always. But then I'm going to go from my family Thanksgiving to probably flying directly from Seattle to Miami, Florida, baby, for a TV story that I'm doing. And then I'm going to spend that week in Miami. I'm going to stop off in Phoenix.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is immediately after Thanksgiving. I'm sorry, I kind of lost it. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The week after.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

This is also a chance for you to put this on your calendar, I guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I wasn't asking because of that. I was just. I was just. I kind of. I wasn't. So this is like. You'll spend Thanksgiving weekend with your. You're not like flying out on Thanksgiving night or something like that?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'll spend the Thursday and the Friday in the. Basking in the. What does he say on Christmas vacation? The kith and kin of a warm holiday celebration with my. With my family and my daughters coming up. It's exciting. But then on like Saturday or Sunday, I haven't decided which one. I will need to fly from Seattle, Washington to Miami, Florida. Then I'll be. So I won't have gone home. That's the key point. So Thanksgiving comes and now I'm not going home. I'm flying to Miami. I'm in Miami for a few days. Thursday morning, I get up bright and early. I fly from Miami to Phoenix, where I'm going to do. Wait, wait, don't tell me. On Thursday night in Phoenix, December 4th. And then I fly to Seattle December 5th. Because by the way, I want to mention Livewire at Benaroya Hall, Friday, December 5th, with Guess who. Andrew, Lindy west and Megan Hatcher Maze of the podcast will be some. I was going to pitch them on maybe doing a little TMTB of the dog crossover too, while they're in town. Because we're actually bringing Megan out for this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's going to be a really, really fun show. Mohana del Shakey will be there. Super funny comedian is the jury.

[Andrew Walsh]

You had texted me privately about another guest that you were thinking about trying to get. Is that off the table?

[Luke Burbank]

Now we're hearing that that special guest is busy on that night, so we're still trying to implore them. But right now we know that it'll be Lindy and Megan. We know it'll be Mohanad, we know it'll be the broody brothers, and we know that there are tickets available. So please, if you like Me and you, like Lindy west and Megan Hatcher Mays. Come see us Friday night, December 5th. You can go to livewireradio.org for tickets. Okay. All this is to say, Andrew, I am not going to probably be back at my house until a full week and a couple of days after Thanksgiving. I'm not getting. I don't have the calendar right. I'm not getting back to my house until at the earliest. December 7th.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because you mentioned that. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Isn't a Thursday. So that's going to be exactly one week after Thanksgiving.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And then you're live wire the next night.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's a Friday then. And that's Friday night Seattle. And then back home the night after.

[Luke Burbank]

I may need on Saturday. I think I might have to do some, you know, listener relations, which is to say hanging out with some LiveWire supporters and doing some things LiveWire related.

[Andrew Walsh]

It could be here in Seattle, here.

[Luke Burbank]

There in Seattle, where you are. So it could be December 7th before I get back to my home. And that means I've now already missed a fourth. Essentially. I've already missed a quarter of Christmas times at my house. And then it's like Sunday, December 7th. I'm trying to set up the tree. I'm trying to get everything together. I just, I'm almost wondering if I should break with my precedent and actually set all my Christmas stuff up before I go out of, like, before Thanksgiving, which again, has never happened in the olden days. But this might just be extenuating circumstances.

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard that John Sklaroff is going to donate to livewire in order to get our weekly meeting on the books. You're not laughing at that. It was just a joke about your meeting with.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that wasn't disapproval for me. That was me trying to do the math on that first week of December. Because just because I'm in Miami doesn't mean that we can't have our meeting potentially.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. And that's fine. I don't think we have anything super burning and pressing. I just thought it was funny. You're like, well, I'm meeting with donors. I was like, oh, that would be a good way to get on your calendar. That's the joke there. But by the way, before we even get into your personal conundrum about this stuff, which is kind of personal. That's kind of like whatever you decide. You have these rules, but it's for you. But I never really kind of considered this idea of where Thanksgiving falls on the calendar within the month. Of November because I always figure, oh, it always hovers around the same few days. And of course, one of those days sometimes falls on my birthday, as it does this year. But I never really thought about, like, oh, that's late, or like, whatever. So I just looked it up and you're right. I just had never considered this before. Like, Thanksgiving can be any time between the 22nd and the 28th. And so I don't know. I don't think it's always linear. So I don't know if that necessarily means that next year it'll be the Latest on the 28th, and then it'll reset. I don't think it's. The lines are as clean as that. But I had never really thought. Because I don't have a super. I don't have concerns about when to enjoy Christmas music or that type of thing. Like, it doesn't. I just want to make sure that I get all of the toys that I put on my wish list for my birthday. That's all I really care about. But you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess I share your birthday with Thanksgiving.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. That is a pretty big swing, though. You're right. Like, that's a full week.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. And so there's a lot of kind of extenuating circumstances. By the way, are you. I think I've asked you this already, but I mean, are you and Veeves doing like a friends giving or something? What's going to be happening? I know we're still a ways out, but do you have a day planned for Thanksgiving?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, we're not doing our usual this year. Usually, I would say maybe two out of three years, we'll just do Thanksgiving at our house and anybody who is. Wants to come over can come over in our friend group. And that's usually. Or no, that's always a lot of fun. And like Viv's likes to make the whole menu. And then I'm in charge. I'm always in charge of what? Mashed potatoes and sauteed Brussels sprouts. And I think that's mostly my responsibility, maybe cocktails. But usually we do do that, you know, a couple of Thanksgivings in a row and then usually we do something weird or different on another Thanksgiving. A couple of years ago, we went to the. What's the bar that our former colleague at Cairo Radio runs? That's like kind of a dive bar with a pretty long. The Streamline. Streamline Streamlined Tavern. They have a big Thanksgiving there for all of the regulars. And one of our friends is a regular, so we Went there one year for a kind of a potluck. It was a little, you know, it was a little Bukowski esque. You don't want to do that. I wouldn't want to do that every year. But I really enjoyed it, you know that. And I would do it again this year. Our friends, our musicians, they hand you.

[Luke Burbank]

A set of gloves with the fingertips cut off when you walk in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that just kind of a hobo look?

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of Tom Waits meets Bukowski meets. Yeah, just a kind of a life lived rough, I guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have you ever. I think you have. Have you seen the movie Barfly? That is.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I haven't, but I should. I was aware. Because it's Mickey Rourke, right? Yes, it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good.

[Luke Burbank]

Remember, I was aware of that movie as a child, but without knowing what the term barfly meant, without having ever been inside of a bar like it. It was something that I would see the VHS tape at when I'd go to rent a movie at Craigen's Pharmacy or shop and save. And I always. So it has a picture of Mickey Rourke on the COVID And I always knew for some reason there's a movie called Barfly with Mickey Rourke in it. I didn't know that it's actually Bukowski related. And also I hadn't spent a good 20 years of my life posted up in dive bars, which gives me a lot of lived experience to reflect back on while watching that movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's also got Frank Stallone in it. It's one of the rare Frank Stallone vehicles he plays. Literally.

[Luke Burbank]

I Wonder if Norm MacDonald's obsession with Frank Stallone was good or bad for Frank Stallone's career. Do you remember that whole thing?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I don't think so.

[Luke Burbank]

About once every other weekend update on SNL, somehow the punchline would just be Norm MacDonald going, Frank Stallone. He was obsessed with the idea. There's probably a supercut somewhere of Norm MacDonald. And by the way, these were not gentle jokes about Frank Stallone. They were all basically at the expense of Frank Stallone. Because I believe Frank Stallone fancies himself a singer, an actor. Barfly, maybe. Have you seen Barfly? And was it good?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Well, I went through a big Bukowski phase, of course, in college. So I watched the movie probably a couple of times in college, but I haven't seen it since then. But I did enjoy it. It's got Faye Dunaway in there, too. And I think even Jack N. I think I have a vague memory of that. But I was the only reason. Well, I brought it up because of talking about having gone to Thanksgiving at that bar. But there is a. So Bukowski's works, of course, sort of. They center around drinking and specific specifically, like alcoholism, although he doesn't use that term. Right. And in a way that both seems appealing to a lot of young men who are reading it in college, like myself, but also is like a very kind of like literally living paycheck to paycheck, if you even have a paycheck kind of lifestyle. Waking up in apartments that are above bars and that.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe you described that exact apartment a few episodes ago. We were talking about that flickering neon lights.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Where I always assumed I would live for at least part of my life. But there is a scene in Barfly that haunts me as a depiction of people who have given their life too much over to alcohol. Because you and I have both. Both appreciated at various times of our life, the romantic.

[Luke Burbank]

And much of my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. The romanticism of being a regular at a bar like that. And. But there's this one. Sometimes you go in Luke and you know this in real life, and you see somebody who's older than us and probably don't have too many years left, but you know that the years that they do have left, they're going to be spending at that bar and have spent basically every hour at that bar leading up to it. And sometimes Louis, it can give.

[Luke Burbank]

Louis at the Tattletale is, I think, who you're describing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Whom I don't know. But anyway, there's a scene in Barfai that might even be the opening scene, which is maybe why it's stuck in my memory so much. But there's a very old man at the bar. At least I remember him that way when I watched this in my 20s. And he orders a shot, and I think he has tied some sort of a kerchief or scarf around the wrist of his drinking hand, and he put that scarf around the back of his neck. I think I have this. Right. We need to look this up to steady his hand so that as he raises the drink to his lips, he can also use his other hand to use this pulley mechanism behind his neck to get the drink to his lips without spilling it because he has the shakes so bad.

[Luke Burbank]

I will tell you something about that character, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's about add to litany. I know a man who's at his limit.

[Luke Burbank]

You just described it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't stop talking in that voice, by the way, so stuck in my head. But anyway, I do remember that from Barfly and that just being indelible in my brain, just being like.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And that is. I mean, so is Mickey Rourke essentially sort of playing Bukowski?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he plays the Bukowski character, which I think is like Henry Chanasky or something like that, which is. He always writes himself into his books. And he gave him. I think it's Henry. I might be wrong about that. But anyway, we're not doing it.

[Luke Burbank]

So this year, are you barflying it? Doing like a Chinese buffet? What are you doing?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you know, we're doing is something that I have never done on Thanksgiving before, and I've only done once before in my life. We're joining our friends at a Brazilian steakhouse thing. The thing where you're going for meat sweats, where they bring the steaks. You know, I once, a long time ago. Yeah, they bring over the meat swords. You have a little green and red card. I assume that's still how they do it. I don't know literally where we're going somewhere in Seattle. But it's kind of become a tradition with our friends, family. So we're. And they invited us. We're like, yeah, let's do that. And again, I think next year, taking one year off of the traditional Thanksgiving will make us very thirsty for a traditional Thanksgiving next year. But I'm looking forward to this this year, both because I haven't been to a Brazilian steakhouse on any day of the week since my early 20s. And I remember going one time and saying to Veeves, we're going to do this all the time. And then 25 years passed like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the first time that I ever even found out that was a thing was in Vegas. They used to have one of those in the Rio. And we called it meat swords. And it became this whole, you know, thing for our friend group when, you know, Camaro, Kev and Tune and all them. And we'd be down there, we'd always have to do meat swords. One night. I didn't know that it was. And then I remember being somewhere else eventually and going like, they also have meat swords here. And then learn like, yeah, that's called a Brazilian steakhouse. And they do it. That's a very common thing. And in fact, the one at the Rio kind of sucks. It was called Samba Grill. It's like, like you'd be much better off probably with a fogo de chao or the best named one. Oh, my gosh, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, is that what fogo de chao is?

[Luke Burbank]

That's what fogo de chow is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know he's about to chow on some Fogo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that where we're going? I wonder.

[Luke Burbank]

My guess would be probably Fogo de Chow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no kidding. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

But I just remembered this. I think it was actually here when I lived very briefly in Arlington. If I'm remembering this right, there was. Because, you know, it's Brazilian, is the kind of, I guess you could say kind of country of origin for this style. There was a Brazilian steakhouse near where I was in Arlington. Again, I could be mixing up my various places I've lived, but I think it was out here in Arlington, where it was called the Grill from Ipanema. That is a solid name for a Brazilian steakhouse as far as I'm concerned.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's certainly a good show title. I don't know how I feel about puns in my restaurant names, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man. But you know what's funny, too, is that Becca has a gift certificate to Fogo de Cho. And, you know, I'm not a meat eater typically, but I also do not describe myself as a vegetarian. Like, you know, I'll have. I may have some turkey at Thanksgiving. And I keep saying to her, one day, one Saturday, we're going to get a wild hare, and we are going to go use that Fogo de Chao gift certificate, because that thing's worth its weight in meat. And I'm gonna just, like, I'm gonna call it a cheat day, and I'm gonna just like, basically eat 10 years worth of meat in one day.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that reminds me. Well, first of all, I think the only Brazilian steakhouse I ever went to was in New Hampshire, because I know that that was the age I was at. It might have been in Boston, but I don't think, though, I think it was in New Hampshire, because I remember it was kind of a work thing, or I was at least there with people that I worked with, which just. I'm a little bit worried about having the Brazilian steakhouse experience anywhere but New Hampshire, because it sort of seems like that's like the cultural hotspot for that kind of thing. New Hampshire. I'm just joking.

[Luke Burbank]

Obviously. Well known locus of meat source.

[Andrew Walsh]

But speaking of the cuisine, opportunities in New Hampshire, when I first started dating Genevieve, she was vegan and had been, not for a long, long time, but maybe a year or less. And then we started dating. And, like, first of all, I was just, you know, I had very Midwestern sensibilities. I was a young person, and I wasn't like, very adventurous in the places we would go. And she would come up to New Hampshire and, like, she didn't have any vegan options. So on the occasion that we would go somewhere, she tried to stay vegan for a while. Then eventually, I think sort of gave up on it. She should have given up on the relationship. She'd have such a more healthy lifestyle now if she hadn't stuck with me instead, given up the healthier ways of her life. But I always worried about her, like, living this life of more clean eating to then jumping off too quickly. And that's what all of that is to say. I'm worried about you going from not eating much meat at all, like, maybe once a month or so. I don't know you, and I don't check in on that. I don't know what it is, but very little.

[Luke Burbank]

Zero to 60 here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Then going full meat, like, couldn't that cause problems?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we may find out someday. Andrew, if I wake up on that Saturday morning with that wild hair, I'm also a little. Like, Becca has only known me in the period of my life where I'm not eating a lot of meat swords. And again, she has promised me that she wouldn't judge me. Like, I had a steak with her some years ago when we were in Santa Barbara, California. We ended up out in Solvang, and we went to the. The Hitching Post, which is the restaurant that plays a big role in the movie Sideways. And I had been to that. To the Hitching Post, many years previously. Like, when Sideways was out and I went to the Hitching Post, and I think I literally ordered, like, a glass of wine that Paul Giamatti's character is having. And, like, I almost, like, just cosplayed him. Like, I think I got a steak and a glass of wine. This was, like, many, many years ago. So that always. And I just remembered loving it. So then when Becca and I were in that area, I said, let's go to the Hitching Post, and I got a steak. It was very mediocre, for the record. But so what she's never seen is, like, the version of me in, let's just say my late 20s, early 30s, where me and my friends are blacked out in Vegas doing meat swords. That's a version of me that is extreme and was not sustainable for me for a bunch of reasons. So she's seen me have fun and she's seen me eat a steak, but she's never seen if I just pinned back my ears and just basically went after that, Fogo de Chao, like he was a quarterback in a third and long situation. She might really. Speaking of reconsidering relationships, she might really wonder if she made the right choice. I feel like it's a version of me that she hasn't seen and Dottie that she shouldn't see.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't understand. I. I'm watching the scene now with the shaky guy. He's tying his scarf around. So it's just a scarf. It' winter scarf. And he tried to take his first shot, but it spilled all over the bar because he's got the shake so bad. And now he's just tying his winter scarf to. It's not the opening scene. I watched the opening scene and it wasn't in there. And so there he is. Yeah, he steadies it behind his neck. It makes me sad. It makes me not want to drink. Your see, it sounds, though, that like you describing your behavior in this relationship is what I would have been encouraging Genevieve to seek out in a relationship, as you know what I mean. Like, when we first got together, she was the one.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm open to a throuple, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, are you taking Genevieve? You're not taking me, I'm assuming. I.

[Luke Burbank]

Fine. Quadruple.

[Andrew Walsh]

All I need is a stool.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we'll get you a dartboard. You never have to leave the basement.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway. Yeah, but no, that's good. You're. You're in a mode where your relationship is leading to, like, maybe better habits than you're. If you're left up.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it is because she has good advice. Like, really, she is a very. And I say this sometimes about my sister Liz, too. And again, I think my sister Liz would say, you don't know the half of it. But I always think of her as being effortlessly sort of kind of just talented at this put together.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

She just has. She's got these great kids and this great husband, and she has had a couple of different careers in which she's been very successful in both of them. She's now an English teacher in high school. She. They built this beautiful home. She's just growing vegetables somehow. And then when we're having dinner, she's just throwing in some vegetables she just picked, but making something that's like, delicious and also healthy, but doesn't seem like you're missing out on anything. Like, that seems to be her general way of being in the world. Again, she would probably tell you that, you know, there's a lot of anxiety that goes on for all of Us that we. The rest of us don't know about. But I also feel like with Becca, that's her thing around the lake. She just, like, she's the kind of person who could very happily have a glass of wine and then not do that for three months and have no thought about it, and then have another glass of wine or like. Or whatever, you know, have a shot of tequila. Like, she just is untroubled with that kind of stuff. And then also the eating. Just like very clean, healthy eating. So what ends up happening is either I've got to sneak off to the hotel lobby to pound a Wendy's burger, or I just have to, like, live that lifestyle. And so it's gone more like just live that lifestyle.

[Andrew Walsh]

Being in love means going downstairs to the burger.

[Luke Burbank]

That's where that came.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was like, why did I pick Wendy's?

[Luke Burbank]

That is a. Isn't the human brain a marvel, Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

I was well, some are mine. I was well. To marvel in the wrong ways is what my doctor said I was picking up.

[Luke Burbank]

I was picturing in my mind that scene from 30 Rock where Jenna tells Tina Fey to basically never, ever let the person that she is dating know who her real self is and says, love is what?

[Andrew Walsh]

Going downstairs to use the Burger King bag.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's something else first. It's like love is. Maybe it's. Love is never letting them see who you actually are and going to the Burger King to poop for some reason. That was absolutely what I was channeling in that moment. By the way, I can report that the Girl from Ipanema is still very much in business here in Washington, D.C. so maybe it wasn't in Arlington, or maybe they had two different branches. But I also don't know if it's. I don't think it's meat swords, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a regular restaurant, remember? No, I'm looking at the menu right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm sorry. Did you feel like it's changed or you misremembered it?

[Luke Burbank]

I think I. I think I assumed because I had had my awakening, because I had been woked to Brazilian steakhouses. I went from not knowing that they were a thing to thinking the only one was Samba at the Rio to thinking anything that says Brazilian steakhouse is one of those meat sword places that when I saw the Girl from Ipanema Brazilian Steakhouse, I just assumed falsely that it was meat swords. I want to just warn people if they come to D.C. and they're all excited to visit the Grill from Ipanema it's not meat swords. It looks good, but it's not meat swords.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is why you are no longer on the Chamber of Commerce of D.C. yes. You don't know what's going on in the local.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, a couple reasons. That's one of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's one. Also, not living there is a big part of it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm settling into this hotel room lifestyle. By the way, I've been here a lot this week, and I told you yesterday on the show how I'm developing kind of a bit of a rear window type of relationship with these people that work across the courtyard from me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You said you think it's the Kaiser Family Foundation. Is that right?

[Luke Burbank]

That's. I think that's. I need to. I need to do a double check of that, but I think it's. I think it's Kaiser Family Foundation. I feel weirdly starstruck when I see something in the world that I've heard about as an underwriter of npr.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Need is an Aeron chair.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, we went, right, Like, Becca and I were somewhere, we're driving and we saw a sign that said Lemelson. And I was like, like the foundation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't know that one. I don't listen to PR as much as I used to.

[Luke Burbank]

The Lemelson Foundation, Si Sims. These are all big names in my mind because I hear them every morning. But so when I saw KFF Kaiser Family Foundation, I was literally kind of starstruck by the door.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I was very excited, by the way I hit the radio jackpot on Sunday is something that you would appreciate. When I turned on Morning Edition and it was Aisha Roscoe, and I turned it on right before the quiz. Like, I don't know that news clock. I don't know when it comes on. I happened to turn it on Sunday morning and it was right, right as the quiz was coming. And I'm just like, my goodness, the.

[Luke Burbank]

I love the way she says master when she's introducing Will Shorts. She says Will Shortz is, you know, he's a puzzle editor at the New York Times and puzzle master here on Weekend Edition. Listen for it next time. I will always says master in the funniest way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, and it voice so much, it.

[Luke Burbank]

Reminds me to just like, lean into my weirdness when doing radio, which I know you'd be like, you haven't been so far. But, like, maybe more for Livewire. Like, obviously I'm not very buttoned up no matter what the circumstances are, but I love those. Like, I just love Quirks And I love people being themselves. And I think sometimes with Livewire, I feel like I have to be like this tbtl. This feels too. I'm being too much myself, probably. But I think I can let even a little bit more of my hair down on Livewire because when I hear that kind of stuff on the radio, I really like it. But I'm so, I'm looking over at these folks now. I'm on like day three of just. And I'm having, because I'm working a lot from the hotel room this week. I have a lot of CBS stuff happening. That's not the piece we're shooting. It's, it's like other. It's another piece that's going to go up this week. Week I've been recording Livewire from the room. I've been doing TBTL with you. So it's like I'm in my office, they're in their offices and like, I watch them, like one woman, like, grab her coat and her purse and like, go off to lunch. And then she comes back with her salad and then she sits and like right now she has, like, she has her jacket still around her shoulders because I think it's maybe a little cold in the office, you know, Like, I'm just seeing how. And then there's a guy. I know that you would think that I would have a strong sense of what this means, but I don't think I've ever fully thought of what the idea of the corner office is. These are all very nice offices, but only one of them is the corner office. And the guy in the corner office, he seems happier. I see him, by the way. He just went and got a Diet Coke or something. But before that, I saw him be nice on the phone, strolling around, walking around in his corner office, which is too, you know, it's, it's, it's all glass on, on both sides of the corner. And he was talking on the phone and like walking around and staring out his window in the way that I feel like I would do if I was in a corner office. And then you got the guy next to him who just has a regular office, which if I'd never seen the corner office, I would think that was a pretty sweet office because again, it's got floor to ceiling glass. If I was given that office at a radio station, I would really, I'd be pretty stoked about that. But now I see the corner office and I'm like, oh, that's why they're always talking about getting to that corner office. And I do think there might be something to it. I think the corner office guy is enjoying his time at the Kaiser Family foundation more than everybody else is.

[Andrew Walsh]

That makes me cringe because did I one time on this show. I. I don't remember when I started hearing the term C suite, but it was one of those things that I had never heard.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know what that meant until.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very recently did one of us on the show. And I'm willing to the bullet on this say that it's C for corner office. I think it's C. I think a.

[Luke Burbank]

Bullet would be extreme.

[Andrew Walsh]

What? Well, I take my job seriously. I guess you don't. I. But it means that I'll never get that corner office because I think the C means you're like a CFO or a CEO or. And you know that's what the C is. Not corner office. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. I think. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cease.

[Luke Burbank]

But again, I. Whichever. I'm willing to. Andrew, I'm willing to go pull a Clint Eastwood from In the Line of Daisy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Famous movie.

[Luke Burbank]

Jump in front of the bullet that you were about to take on both of our behalf. Because C suite is one of those terms that like they just started using five years ago and then they acted like, oh, we've been all using it forever. And I resent that. I feel like we need to. There needs to be an announcement like. Because that's the kind of thing that you'll hear Kai Rysdal saying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Or somebody who knows from business. The C Suite. But it's like, hold on. I've actually worked a few office jobs in my life. No one was calling it the C suite. That is a fairly recent invention and that's okay. But you need to give the rest of us some time to catch up. And don't use it like it's the thing we're all saying because some of us are not saying it yet.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so funny because that goes against what you and I usually argue about like on public radio or something when they over explain something. Now C suite means the Batman is a caped vigilante. You know what I mean? I think at this point you would say that at this point people know what C suite means. But you're saying there was a point where maybe you could have used a little bit more explanation.

[Luke Burbank]

I have been, as are you, Andrew, a part of a genistration. I have been part of a generation that has stood astride many huge developments. In fact, not to get all patting Gen X on the back or Whatever. But I do think we are. We've had this interesting life experience of living a significant amount of our life with no Internet and no cell phones and then now living an even more significant part of our life with that. Like Addie just doesn't have. My daughter just doesn't have a super strong sense of pre cell phone world, you know, and you know, similarly, I have lived in the time before and after the term C suite was invented. I clearly remember a time in my life where no one was saying C suite. And, and you're right, you could also think that that means corner suite because it has the word sweet in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I feel like maybe at one point I feel like I was stumbling around. I'm like, yeah, what does C suite mean? Maybe it means corner office. I. I hope I'm making that up. I hope that's not true. By the way, I just texted you something. I know you're trying. I saw this Internet. Is that too sad of a show pick? I sent Luke the screen cap of the old man at the bar and barfly who's using his scarf to steady his hand as he grimaces and takes a drink. Is that just too depressing to put on tbtl.net I don't think so.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I think people can handle it. Also, I'm just wondering about the casting because this guy does have the nose, is really selling it for me. It's got really one of those Gin blossoms kind of thing going. That's not always associated with drinking, by the way. I think that's a bit of a misnomer. I think it can be, but. But it can also not be. But I wonder, like I could see one of two things for this actor. Either is a person who, you know, was, maybe has struggled in his life with this or has spent a lot, a lot of time in bars and they went in and literally just like cast him right off of a bar stool. Or has been sober for 50 years and is like a well regarded New York theater actor that is like hasn't touched real alcohol in many years. I could see it being either one. I've told you the story before, of course, when we grabbed two random barflies to be in that beer commercial that I was in when I was in that Molson commercial a million years ago. We went up to a place called the Last Chance Saloon in Wayne, Alberta and it had been scouted by the location scouts for this commercial which was supposed to be about some young American 20 somethings on this incredible journey of discovery in Canada. And we drink a lot of Mols. So we go into this bar, and they needed someone to play the bartender. And there was no one in there for some reason, or the bartender didn't want to do it, which is crazy, by the way, because it's probably paid, like, 15 or $20,000 just to be the bartender in this thing, because I think you'd be a principal at that point. And so they grab one of these two. It's like two in the afternoon, and they just grab one of these two, like, drunk dudes off the bar, who are the only two guys in the entire bar. And they have him pretend to be the bartender. And he had said. I think one of our producers had said, we're going to ring the bell, you know, which is like a free round of drinks. If you guys do this, we'll ring the bell for you or something. So he's like, okay. So he stood back there and just pretended to be the bartender, which didn't involve doing very much. We weren't. They wanted us to do a shot on camera, but then they learned from legal that you can't be doing a shot in the country.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was going to say, I'm kind of surprised. Especially for a beer commercial, right?

[Luke Burbank]

They wanted it to be like, this is a wild. This is an unexpected wild adventure at this bar. Well, they weren't allowed to have us doing a shot. In fact, I don't even think they could show us drinking the beer. We just always. We were drinking it, but it was always like. I think when they cut the commercial, it was. We're always holding the beer. We're interacting with the beer. You never see us actually glugging it down. But in. In lieu of shots, they had us eat those, like, pickled eggs that are, like, in the beer big, you know, jar. That was supposed to be the, like, the crazy thing that we did at this bar. But I just remember when we were finally done and they'd packed up all the lights, and again, I think this guy was in line for a fairly significant amount of money for. Because he had to sign all this paperwork. Like, this was this guy's lucky day. And one of, like, the last producer was trying to walk, and this guy blocks the door. He shuffles over and he blocks the door, and he goes, you said you were gonna ring that bell. He's like, yeah, okay. He goes back over, rings the bell, puts like a 20 down on the. And leaves. Like, yeah, Jimmy was gonna get his.

[Andrew Walsh]

Free shot come hell or high water, no matter what. I'VE been doing a little bit of research over here. First of all, what do we found that I was curious, why beer commercials? I'm like, is that right? Do they rarely show people actually drinking? I'm trying to picture most beer commercials. You don't see somebody actually holding the beer up to their mouth, do you? Right. Probably shake it. It says here that it's not against the law, but it's an industry standard not to. And this is.

[Luke Burbank]

They probably want to avoid the heat, so they're just policing themselves. Now. Are you allowed to use a scarf?

[Andrew Walsh]

This is to lift a beard of your mouth. That shot I just sent you is actually a commercial for Jim Beam. This is an AI overview, but it says, why do beer commercials avoid showing people drinking? You have industry self regulation, you have network standards. You have avoiding negative implications and just production reasons. Like showing somebody drinking a lot. Well, you can always put something else in the bottle. But yeah, I was just like, when you said that, I'm like, yeah, I feel like I can sort of picture like, maybe like a. A summery, sunshiny commercial where somebody is like, holding a Budweiser up to their mouth and drinking it. But I think I'm just thinking of Mountain Dew commercials, to be honest with you. Like, I can't.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, you're back to mixing up Mountain Dew and Budweiser again.

[Andrew Walsh]

Gimme a mountain with nothing to do. Still my favorite song from the summer. Also, I was researching the fella who was drinking using the scarf as an aid. In Barfly. The actor's name is Joe Rice, and I'm on his IMDb page, and his credits include Barfly.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, that's it. So it's door number one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sounds like.

[Luke Burbank]

Sounds like Joe was asking him to ring that bell.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. I think we have our answer. Thank you, Ben.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, let's thank some donors. These wonderful, generous folks are supporting tbt. I'm sorry, Andrew. I'm just so distracted by every little thing that's going on over at the Kaiser Family Foundation. How do you feel about this move? First of all, these people are supporting TBTL with a donation, and we really appreciate it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not the Kaiser Family Foundation. We do.

[Luke Burbank]

Not yet, but, I mean, I don't know. Could we do more healthcare reporting?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I think they want me on that.

[Luke Burbank]

Does John Pincus of Chicago, Illinois want us on that beat?

[Andrew Walsh]

Certainly.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks, John. Also, look who it is. It's our friends Kim and Sam Walter over there in St. Petersburg, Florida, not far from where I'll be missing my Christmas tree.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's right. You'll be slinking around their neighborhood like a kid.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, they'll be in the same state. It's a big state. But thank you, Kim and Sam. Thanks also to Stephen Shore of Brooklyn, New York.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, Steven. Steven writes in from time to time.

[Luke Burbank]

No, this is my new obsession is I keep mentioning that these offices are all. Are framed by these big beautiful windows, which I love. But I see this one guy walking around in his office and I'll mention that the sun is not. It's kind of a cloudy day, the sun. It's not like a bright sunny day where the sun would be hitting the window in a way that would be kind of a hassle. This guy just has his shades on. His big beautiful window are just like 50% of the way down so that I can. All I can see is his lower half of his. Like he's wearing a suit and he's walking around in his office and it's like. Well, he. More the opposite. He might be like those kids that broke into the amusement park, right? The guy that's shirtless because he has pants. He's got pants. Oh, he definitely has pants.

[Andrew Walsh]

Side up sign up.

[Luke Burbank]

But what's weird is it just seems like all that would do is obscure your view of seeing anything else. Like, it seems like a weird amount. I kind of understand the shade being all the way down. Maybe something private conversation is going on. Maybe, I don't know, you just work better that way. It's a weird amount of the shade to be down, in my opinion. Do you think halfway down so that you can't see when you're standing up, you're just looking at a shade, but your knees would be able to see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you consider me a disruptor? I don't consider myself to be a disruptor, but I did just think of something that could be a disruptor in the shade industry.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me tell you this. You're not disruptive, which is good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, sort of. I disrupt the show from time to time. When you're trying.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

When you're trying to end the show. And then I just have a last minute thought that's kind of disruptive. But anyway. What about shades, Luke, that you could pull from that the bottom up? Would that serve a purpose? But I'm trying to figure out what purpose it serves. I mean, kind of to your point, like maybe. I mean, I guess if you want to Donald Ducket around your office, which I wouldn't recommend anyway, but these could be for home I suppose. But, like, is there a reason why you would maybe want to kind of. Well, you used the word mitigate before, right? Mitigate the light coming in to a degree, but not ruin your view.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it would be a very specific moment in time. And when it would be. Would it be the sun is either rising or setting and it's low in the sky to where. In fact, this happens at my house when the sun sets, I have to. Depending on the time of year, I have to pull one of the shades down in my kind of like living room, dining room area because the sun's really coming in intensely. But what would be nice would be if I could pull my shade up from the bottom because let's just say the sun is in the lower half of my sliding glass door window.

[Andrew Walsh]

Especially because you're up on the hill with the river below you. So the sun is in the bottom half of the window.

[Luke Burbank]

It could conceivably be in the bottom half of the window. And what I could do is pull the shade up from the bottom. It would block the sun, but I would be able to look over the shade and still see the river and all the pretty stuff that I like, the hills and all that. So that would be. That's a very specific window of time. And also. So where you're like, oriented where your room is oriented. But.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it could look cool too, like from the outside if you had like, cool modern. Like, what I like is a top bottom option. You know, kind of like the. What is it in football? The run play option. Is that what it is, rpo? Yeah, this is like the. The tbo. You know, if you had the nice kind of modern chains that you can kind of pull down by hand or something like that, but you could also pull it up and it would be nice, clean lines. I will say this, and I don't want to get judgmental, especially as we thank our donors who maybe some of them live this way. But for me, we were talking before about kind of depressing scenes and like I mentioned the old man at the bar. But also a depressing. Like, I don't. I'm not a huge fan of mini blinds anyway, but of course they're. You know, there's a spectrum of quality to low quality mini blinds. And most of them that I've dealt with in my life as a renter have been like kind of cheap, low budget mini blinds, which kind of put a bad taste in my mouth for a while. But we have some. We have some cheap ones that are half broken here at our house, but like, mostly maintaining until we replace them. But one thing that I can't abide is a crooked mini blind.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I mean? Like when it's like.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm looking at them, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really? I'm kind of surprised. I was picturing that very. Everything you're describing, I'm picturing like the COVID of a New Yorker article where it shows all the busy people working and all the different windows and one person's on a standing walking desk. And one person. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

It is that they have very tasteful lighting. They have very tasteful office furniture. The one miss is they went with those kind of like, you know, mini blinds that are the kind of like metal ones, you know, and some people don't have theirs down at all. But then there's just one office who will remain nameless because I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Their name, otherwise they wouldn't.

[Luke Burbank]

And they've got their mini. They've got their blinds all the way down from the ceiling to the floor. And there's clearly like. I don't know if it's like a side of their desk or something where there's just like stuff is poking into the mini blinds. So it's. You know what I'm talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like smashed a little bit.

[Luke Burbank]

It looks like a sad face. I'm going to take a picture of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe that's a better show pick. We're only doing depressing photos for show pick options today.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. We've gone from the. We've gone from the guy from barfly to like an unintentional sad face in a mini set of mini blinds. Yeah, I'm with you. Like, I feel like the Roman shade is an affordable and I think superior option to any mini blind situation. Don't you think?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that what I. Is that what I was sort of describing before? That's kind of a sleek thing that kind of will pull straight down. It's a pure. It's like a sheet.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Like, I always think I associate them with ikea. I think that was the first time that I was. I'm sure that they, I'm sure they predate ikea, but just like. Yeah, it's usually fabric and it's, you know, it's like a. It's a rectangle the size of the window. But then you can pull it up and it stays in place at its, you know, closed position and then you can just let it out as much as you Want. And it's just because the thing like you point out with the mini blinds, it is. They're always getting kind of like bent or off somehow off kilter. And it's very, very unsettling.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's very unsettling from the inside and the out.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I thought you were going to say. And again, peace and love. If this is a choice somebody's made in their life or had to make at some point. But the other one that really gets me is. Well, first of all, just having the shades down all the time. For me, I'm obviously very. I need a lot of natural light for. For some medical reasons called my brain. But like the shade's down all the time or the curtains closed all the time. That one kind of. I would feel sad if I was in that home environment. But even more so the. We're using a blanket as the curtains. So we've just tacked up like a comforter and that's just covering, you know. And again, you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess. But like just. Cause the thing about that that bums me out is like you're never pulling that down. Like by definition it's not designed for that job. So it just means that's. You're just keeping that up. That's just kind of what that's. You know, you're not going to be looking out the windows at anything as long as that's the thing you're using. And again, everybody can live whatever life they want. But for me that would be really, really challenging. Like I am. I'm loathe. I put. I can't believe this has turned into blinds talk so quickly and so thoroughly. But I put up some blinds in my bedroom. Well, would you call them blinds? Yeah, they're blinds. They're basically. I have three windows, three big windows in my bedroom. And these blinds that pull down inside each one of the window kind of like banks or something. Areas that the windows are. I have probably pulled down any one of those blinds maybe one time in. In a year and a half. Like that's how much I don't want. Even though I'd probably sleep better because in the summertime it's getting bright really early. It's waking me up like that is. I have some weird emotional dependency on not feeling like my. The blinds are being. Or like my. My view of the outside is being blocked for some reason. That is a very. That feels very unsafe to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're also an exhibitionist, right? You like people to see what you.

[Luke Burbank]

Got going on quite the opposite. That's why this is such a difficult personality type for me. I am both very. You know what I did this morning after my little job, because this is a perfect. Okay. And then we'll get back to thanking the fine donors, like our friend John Lynn in Spokane, Washington, over there in the Inland Empire. Thank you, John. Andrew. Do you realize, literally this morning I had the exact. The two things you just described obviously jokingly intersected here in this hotel room.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What did I describe?

[Luke Burbank]

I mentioned an exhibition, me being an exhibitionist.

[Andrew Walsh]

And the other thing I mentioned me.

[Luke Burbank]

Needing to have a lot of natural light.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So I don't want to close. It makes me depressed to close the curtains in this hotel room. It feels almost like claustrophobic to me or something, even at night. Like, I don't even like doing it at night when there's not even anything to see. Right. But I get back from my jog and I'm going to take a shower, and I don't want to close the curtains because even the curtains being closed while I'm in the shower, unaware of what's going on here. So there's something. I'm telling you, there's something about this that is, like. It represents something more to me than the actual deal with the curtain. I don't know what that is. But I'm also very much not an exhibitionist and very much do not want anyone who's working at the Kaiser Family foundation to catch a glimpse because they can look into here just as much as I'm looking into there. Right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So I take. I also am weird, and I, like, lay my clothes out before I take a shower. I don't know what I think is. I don't think. I don't know what it is. I think I know about fashion before the shower, that I won't know after the shower.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you lay them. You lay them on the bed. So it's like a little shadow version of yourself. And you come out of the shower and you lay down on top of it.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like the version. It's a shadow version of myself that has been cut in half because the sweater does not go on top of the pant, like above the pants.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's what I was.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not a perfect representation of me. It goes. The first thing is underwear, and the next underwear is pants. And then. But in the legs of the pants, like, in the. Where the. Like, opening is where the crot below the crotch area on the bed. I will put a ball of socks, like a, you know, a darned pair of socks. I'll put the shoes under the pants on the ground, and then I will put the sweater as I'm wearing today, and then the T shirt that goes under the sweater on top of the sweater. I will set this up before I take a shower.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then you fill it with a bunch of foam and pillows. And then you set it outside the door, and you put the little do not disturb thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Who's lonely now?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And then you dance.

[Luke Burbank]

Then you dance the dance. Macabre. No. But I realized I can't be getting dressed in this hotel room unless I'm willing to close the curtains. So I then take my pants and my underwear into the bathroom with me and the T shirt, and I pile them up in a way that did not make me feel great, but in a way that was on the sink area of the bathroom so that when I got out of the shower, I could clothe myself before I came out into this room. Room. Because I did not want to be in this room naked with the curtains open, but I also did not want to close the curtains.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't see. I use if there's room, and if it's not too slidy. I feel like the top of the toilet tank can be a place to put socks, underwear, and a T shirt for your preliminary dressing.

[Luke Burbank]

That would feel precarious to me. I feel like. Although it wasn't like the. You know, it's a hotel room bathroom, so it's like. It wasn't like there was a ton of room on the. By the sink either. It was all precarious, but it was all Because. And the thing is, it's like, is somebody from the Kaiser Family foundation gonna look over here? I don't know. No one's looked over yet.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it's not only that. I mean, the thing for me is just like. Well, it takes however much time to get dressed. Let's just put it on the. On the upper end of. Let's say it takes you 10 minutes because you're puttering around, which I don't think that it does, but. Yeah. The idea that you can't even shut the blinds for five or ten minutes while you get dressed. I know shocking things.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm only now, like, I'm not doing this just for effect or to. To be interesting on the show, because I'm doing the opposite.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it's not. Yeah, don't worry about that.

[Luke Burbank]

But. But I. Like, it's weird. It's Only now that we're having this conversation am I realizing, like, that is odd behavior. To literally not want the window, the curtains closed for even that amount of time. Like, that's. That's. Again, that's like, that's not a rational decision. That's about something else with me. Some kind of. And as I talk about the clothes laying out thing, that's also a lot of, like, more, like, more OCD behavior than I think of myself as having.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, actually, you're right. I wouldn't, you know, usually use that term to describ, describe you, but that does sort of sound a little ocd. Although I think you also. I should say I should be careful. I think people kind of tend to call things ocd and got a pop culture definition, as opposed to, like the clinical definition, which people struggle with. But I do something. And then it's one of those things that I didn't think about either until you mentioned it. When I'm in a hotel room, I like to get dressed in the ice room. The room with the ice machine in it. Do you ever do that?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it's sort of like you can stretch out a little bit. You meet people potentially all. I'm pretty sure I might be keeping the ice machine industry in business, and I don't even travel that much, but I've never run into anybody else using the ice machine. And I'm using the ice machine like, multiple times a night, usually to keep beer or something cold when I'm in a hotel room.

[Luke Burbank]

I absolutely considered going to the ice machine last night. I was. I was going out to get some food, and I saw the sign that says ice that way. And I remember I never get ice at the hotel. It never occurs to me. The one time that I can remember it specifically was Kamaro. Kev loves to get ice at the hotel room.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like they're very similar in that way.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like his favorite thing about it. And I remember he and I went to see a fight at a casino. I think it might have been called Little Creek. That was down kind of south of Tacoma, actually, over towards, like, the Shelton area where my sister Hannah lives. But we didn't stay at that casino hotel. We stayed at a different casino hotel, oddly enough.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, maybe what we did was we. We ended up staying at this, like, this casino hotel that was like, right in Fife. That's just a building that has slot machines only, like, it doesn't have table games and stuff. And so what I remember was we went to the fife. We did, whatever we did, we ended up back at this hotel room, and we were both quite inebriated and quite exhausted. And I remember just, like, waking up in the morning and feeling like death and then going over and filling a cup up with ice and putting water in it. And that, like, saved my life. And I was like, why don't I. The first thing that Camaro Kev does when he gets to a hotel room is he beelines it for the ice machine.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know this about him. We gotta. We gotta ask him about it next time.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, ask him about the time that we stayed at the. I guess it was technically the Muckle shoot, but it's like they're. It's not their big one. It's like this weird standalone one that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Only has slot machines now. You can't hear this Luke right now, but I have just destroyed the recording and I need to acknowledge it. I. I'm sorry about that. You didn't hear a bunch of music just start playing? Did you know I. Bingo just came in here. It was very cute. I mentioned yesterday on the show that he taps me on my foot to wake me up in the middle of the night and scare the heck out of me. That's right. I should mention Bingo is my cat. Not my adult brother or anything like that. My sniffer. But I did forget that. So we're recording later than usual today. So we're in the mode. Usually you and I are done recording by this time. And then Bingo comes in here after the podcast. Like, he waits for the podcast to be over, but then he. Like, this is his playground and he jumps on things. He jumps on my board and he mutes things. He's just doing all this stuff. But what he does is he silently just came in the room right now and then just. He reaches up and he taps me on my elbow. He just did that right there. He literally does. He just reaches up and goes, tap, tap, tap. I'm like, oh, okay. So anyway, he's in here now and he thinks it's time to not be podcasting, but it's his bird's time. I think I've told you about this, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Have we messed up your schedule? Bingo.

[Andrew Walsh]

So the computer that I use to talk to you on and we can't see each other today, it's just kind of a black screen, is the same computer that he just sits down properly in front of it when it's time to watch his birds. And I put on a birds YouTube video for him. It's this live Stream of birds, which, by the way, we. One of the funnest things about the livestream of birds that I learned recently is it also has live chat. So you have people who are just putting on a 24.7bird video, but then people talking to each other about it. And there's always some kid in there who's just like, boobs, boobs, farts, farts. And then there's other people who are just kind of like, my cat doesn't like this. Another person says, my cat's hitting the screen, and it's 24. 7 of people coming in.

[Luke Burbank]

So mostly people talking about their cats watching the birds. Because that's what this is mostly used for.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. That's what's in the chat. And anyway, so I just tried right now to put on birds for him because you and I aren't looking at each other anyway, but it auto played a commercial. My YouTube blocker isn't working, and so. And I can't get it going.

[Luke Burbank]

Does that mean it's on the recording or not?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, we have it. It's on my recording over here. But you didn't hear it because of the whole way I have this whole thing set up. The reason you can't hear yourself come back to you means you also can't hear any audio coming out of this. So to the listeners, that's what you just heard. To Bingo. I'm sorry. We'll be with you shortly. We're thanking the donors. Right. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, how long does Bingo watch the birds for?

[Andrew Walsh]

A long time. A long time. He hangs out in my office a lot now. I do think, even though he didn't play with Bananas a lot when she was around, I think not having her to sort of monitor at all times has just freed up a lot of his afternoons. I'm not joking. And he's a little obsessed, especially on these days. Get away. Oh, my God. Bingo just burned his ass on a candle. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

God.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hold on. Hold on a second.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you okay? You okay? Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. I don't know how much of this we're leaving in, but I can tell.

[Luke Burbank]

You what happened was totally your call. Like, I mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my gosh. So I was worried about this today. I put a candle in here, which I don't usually do, and it was kind of in this part of the table that he sometimes launches off of to get up to this window. And I was like, well, cats know to be afraid of fire.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I always wonder about with with like bubbles and stuff is does their self preservation kick in where they know, not that it's hot, they can feel that they have nerve endings. But did he fall onto it or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

What just happened was it's kind of on the corner of the table, but pushed in a little bit because I'm pretty careful with candles or so you. You wouldn't think from what just happened. But I did think, oh, that's kind of where Bingo goes when he launches himself off the table. But I just figured, whatever, I'm in here, it'll be fine. And then in here just a moment ago, I'm talking to you. And I guess I'll leave this in. But it was very scary. He sees the candle, but then he turns around to jump off the table and he's a long haired cat or a medium haired cat. And I watched as the. His ass was near the candle flame and I watched it suddenly start to singe his. His hair. And it smells like burning hair in here right now. And I just picked him up. He's okay. The only thing that he knows is that I just freaked out. He's gonna. He's like, he's a little freaked out right now because I freaked out. I don't think he felt it at all, but I saw it. I. I saw a bunch of like, kind of smoke puff up. It was like one of those things where I'm looking over there, I'm talking to you. I'm like, oh, I better move that. And then before I even like could get my. Before I could process that thought, suddenly I saw him go and. Oh my God.

[Luke Burbank]

Of the candle. He didn't make physical kind of melting his fur?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no, he just. It only took a split second, but he's got such light, long fur that he turned around for a second and his ass hovered over the candle flame and the flame seriously just singed. And I just picked him up. He's okay. It didn't get anywhere near. I don't even think he knows, honestly. I have some explaining to do to Genevieve when she gets home. I kind of wiped it away, but his hair was singed on like kind of the back half of his. Of his leg there. But I honestly think that he's only freaked out right now because I freaked out. He's like looking at me like, what's wrong with you? I don't think he's.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's what's so unfair about being a parent. Andrew is like, you did a good thing for Bingo. And he will just. It'll go down in his memory bank. Says, my dad was being a jerk.

[Andrew Walsh]

This guy hates candles.

[Luke Burbank]

No, this guy doesn't like me having my afternoon fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, he's all right. Boy, I'm sorry. We were just talking about my guy, and then. That was really scary. Scary for me. I'm sorry. Well, I'm glad that was a drama in real life that actually happened. I guess we'll just leave, you know, leave it all in.

[Luke Burbank]

It's up to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a. This is a personal moment between you and your cat's butt.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, we'll. We'll leave it in.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll defer to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

It seems like a lot of work to try to figure out how to edit that out at this point, but apologies to listeners who I probably just freaked out. But also, maybe you'll remember.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe you'll remember this interesting moment of the show. And probably months, if not years later, I was on the edge of my seat.

[Andrew Walsh]

This whole for your consideration campaign we've been on with the Golden Globes for our podcast is really.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I appreciate your commitment to the bit. Also, Zach Labbe in McFarland, Wisconsin, also appreciates your commitment to podcasting. Andrew. That's because Zach is. Yes, we're still doing the donors. Zach is one of our donors today. Thank you, Zach. And then thanks to Jennifer Fishman in Rochester, Vermont. Bet you it's lovely. I bet you it's getting cold up there in Rochester. But it's just starting to turn now from fall to, like, feeling a little wintry.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did I tell you that I watched fall turn into winter before my eyes when I was in Cleveland? And boy, did it remind me of I. The very first snow of the season. No matter where you are, it can be beautiful. Like, I remember being in Chicago for the first snow when I was flying out of there after a TBTL event once. And I felt very lucky. But when I arrived in Cleveland, I was only there for, you know, four or five days. But when I first arrived, it was still very much fall weather. And I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have brought this heavy coat. But just a couple of days later, it was already snowing. I know the day I flew out, it was snowing. And the day before I flew out, it started and it was, like, below 30. It was like, 29 degrees. And it's just like, you could just feel it. Like, I can't explain it. A fall day feels different than a winter day, even if the temperature is about the same. And, boy, it was just it was something about that clear. Man, Cleveland winters are tough. And just getting the very, very beginning taste of it. I was like, I am. I am glad to be heading back to the West Coast. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm definitely here in D.C. feeling I told you about my. My freezing cold jog, which the other day, that was a bad idea. So I'm just definitely different out here than it is in the PNW right now. Anyway, thank you to all of our donors for making TBTL possible. You know, we would not be able to do this without you, so thank you. We really. And thank you, honestly, for keeping Bingo alive. Think about it. It's a real. It's a wonderful life. No donors, no podcast. Andrew, you weren't there to save Bingo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luke. This room. And again, he's not. There's nothing visible that I can see right now, and he's fine. This room reeks of burning cat hair right now.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a pretty distinct smell. I'm trying to think of the times when I've been around burnt hair, like just something catches unexpectedly or whatever. It is a very, very specific and very pungent smell, isn't it?

[Andrew Walsh]

It is. I don't like it in here right now, but we have the window open for Bingo, too, so it's for both of us now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, I got a question. Quick email for you today, Andrew, because I know you want to get out of the. The hot zone there.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really smells bad, man.

[Luke Burbank]

Where things smell bad and where it was very stressful there for a moment for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, maybe I'm smelling. I might just be smelling my own stress.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. Probably adrenaline.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know what it is.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably adrenaline. And again, so I'm talking about Bingo. Bingo. Just no idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

No idea that it's just things.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought his entire life was in danger.

[Andrew Walsh]

God agrees.

[Luke Burbank]

So I got this email from a listener, Bill, and the subject line was regarding syrup, maple and otherwise. And I thought, oh, boy, I'm in for a clarification because we talked the other day about the difference between maple syrup and then, like, pancake syrup or.

[Andrew Walsh]

This blew my mind. Yeah, I've still been thinking about it. I just always thought when you say syrup, that isn't a specific, like, you know, boysenberry or one of the flavors that you get at IHOP or whatever. I just thought syrup is maple syrup. I used it interchangeably. I didn't know that there's a more generic version that. That you called, I think, table syrup or pancake syrup.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, and the reason that I noted the difference was because, like I said, we had, you know, regular. I guess we'll call it pancake syrup around Mrs. Buttersworth, or, let's be honest, the generic version of we somehow had a more racist one than Aunt Jemima because we couldn't afford the regular racism of Aunt Jemima. And so my mom would sometimes get, like, maple syrup, and it'd be in a smaller bottle, it'd be in a glass bottle, and she'd always be like, this is the good stuff. This is, you know, this is, like, really high quality. And my feeling was it was never intermingled with the other syrup because we, as kids were just dumping a bunch of it on everything. And, like, that maple syrup would be in a space special, like, cabinet, and it would be a treat. And I don't think we would ever get to eat it. I don't think. And then what happened was I went through my whole life not eating maple syrup, and now I don't really like maple syrup as much as whatever we call the other stuff, the table syrup. That's actually. And in fact, you know what I will mess with. And you want to talk about. I've been talking about how I'm trying to eat less processed food in 2025. You want to talk about something that's highly processed, imagine, like, a Mrs. Butterworth table syrup with extra butter flavor. They sell that. Mm. So it's like the syrup itself has some kind of highly, highly synthetic butter flavor in it so that you could both butter your. Like, your waffle or your French toast or whatever, your pancake, and then you're hitting it with syrup that is both sweet and buttery.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't. You know, as somebody who goes in for a sausage McGriddle at times where they infuse the bread with syrup. I guess I can't really speak ill of anybody who chooses that pat path, but.

[Luke Burbank]

So Bill said. Hi, Luke. Omg. Maple syrup is made from the SAP of maple trees. It takes a lot of energy to reduce SAP to maple syrup. Thus, it is more expensive. Historically, my mom would never let her five children consume the expensive maple syrup and would instead provide AJ's. I don't know what AJ's is. That might be a brand. Wherever Bill grew up. AJ's or miss, this is Buttersworth's syrup. Love the show, love the banter, keep us laughing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bill, is this. This is our Canadian friend, Bill Or a different bill.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. I don't think it's Bill in Toronto. I think it's a bill of a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Different name, I believe. Yeah. It gets confusing, though. Uber Jen is Uber Gen. Bill in Toronto is Bill in Toronto. Even though neither one of those apply anymore. This is Bill S. Bill S. I see. So. So anyway, but sort of the point of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Very validated.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

That this was a thing that was apparently going on in at least two households in. I'm presuming North America at the time, which was the moms hoarding the good maple syrup and then just giving the kids the Mrs. Buttersworth.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess so. But it's interesting because what it led to, and I know I'm just repeating what you said, but it led to you not craving the good stuff, but actually not really craving the bad stuff. Yeah. The stuff that you grew up with. Because also, I mean, that makes sense, though, I think, because as we mentioned, you're not somebody who's going out. What do they always call that? That part of the menu that is from the griddle, Right. Isn't it? You go to a breakfast place or a brunch place and they have, you know, whatever, and then they have off the griddle or from the griddle, and that's where you have your. Your pancakes and waffles and stuff like that. And I just don't see you as a guy who's going off the griddle very often.

[Luke Burbank]

Not a ton, but, you know, more than I used to in this weird way, which is like, I've told you that my. Like, right now I have in this room a handful of what? By that, I mean, like, probably five or six little mini. I know this isn't off the griddle, but go with me. Little mini Reese's peanut butter cups that are individually wrapped. They had them in the lounge here, that little area where I go to get my coffees and stuff. And I was like, I'd like to have a couple of those before I go to bed. That seems like a sweet treat. Treat. Now, there would have been a time in my life where I would have, like, never even brought those into the room with me, because I was like, that is, if I eat two of those, I'm gonna. Gonna eat a thousand of them or something. But I would also have, like, gotten loaded and eaten an entire large pizza on the bed by myself. Like, I had some pretty sort of chaotic food stuff going on of, like, sort of denial, like extreme denial and then, like, extreme indulgence, which I'm sure someone's come up with some terms for that, but the mode for me in 2025 has been more like, yeah, a little bit of everything. Like, I am. I am mentally in a place where if I felt like having a pancake off the griddle, I would have a pancake. What I would probably have is I'd probably have half of that pancake. I would order it, I would eat the amount of it that I felt like I wanted, and then I would just stop there. This is, again, theoretical. And then I would just go on with my day. Whereas I used to have a thing where it'd be like, I either wouldn't order the pancake or I would order three pancakes and eat all of them and then be mad at myself. Again, none of this is healthy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I just jump in and say I think my comment, though, was less about. Because you and I have eaten together a lot in our travels and you have pointed out, like, there was one time where, you know, you. I always talk about how I've eaten too much and then, like, where were we? Where you got up and went to get a whole second meal and you came back with her. A second sandwich or something. And so, like, I'm not even trying to say, like, you'd be watching what you're eating because, I mean, I think that you obviously do have, you know, whatever relationship you have with food, but, like, I just don't. I'm just surprised that that is what you would crave. Like, I. For me, like, again, I'm not saying I don't order from the off the griddle section because I'm doing a healthier alternative. I'm doing something that is worse for me to my. To my arteries. You know what I mean? Because I'm. I just don't. I assumed you were like me. That. That is not what you're craving off the menu. The stuff I'm craving is more bacon. More. More sausage, more.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I have always said that if I could snap my fingers and eat all of the savory, salty stuff that I want with no repercussions, and it meant I could never have sweets again, I'd be fine with that. I would make that trade. But also, yeah, that's the other thing for me is I don't know where the pancake fits into my breakfast plans because it is a breakfast unto itself. But, yeah, if I'm at a IHOP or a Denny's or something, I'm really looking forward to getting some a eggs over medium. I'm Looking forward to some hash browns. You know, I'm looking forward to like, if they've got a veggie patty of some kind, I want all that. And then the, the, the pancake at that point, like, if I eat all that, I'm probably not going to be hungry enough for the pancake. I, I don't for me personally, really understand how the pancake fits into the overall breakfast meal experience unless it is itself the whole meal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And that's, and that's what just doesn't appeal to me too much. Again, I'm not, trust me, I'm not getting like cottage cheese and fruit or whatever. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not choosing healthier alternatives. It's just like for me, that isn't, that doesn't seem as satisfying to me. Like, I'm gonna get a stack of pancakes. I think when I was a kid, I was more like that. But now, well, it's in all the literature.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, you're like, you see the commercials and it's like a kid in a big stack of pancakes and you're taught that that's the ultimate indulgence as a kid or one of the, like that and a banana split sundae. How many banana split sundaes have you had in your life? I bet you you can count on one hand.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't because it's zero. So I guess I'm just making a fist. I don't really like bananas, so that's.

[Luke Burbank]

My, Even as a kid, that was one of those.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I ate them on my cereal and stuff and then I phased out. But I don't think, I think I was more of a, like I get a root beer float or a chocolate sundae or something.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like in all of the movies and TV of our era, when we were little kids, I felt like little kids, they always had little kids that were really pining for a banana split.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It was always the thing the kid was like looking forward to all day and you know, and like I remember like finally some being somewhere and having access to a banana split and being like, it's fine. Like, I was, I was taught that it was the absolute high watermark for, for things you could eat as a kid.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wouldn't go in for either. But honestly, if I had to eat a banana base, I don't know what situation I have found myself in where I am forced to eat a banana based dessert.

[Luke Burbank]

It's sort of a take in five.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's, it's a sauce.

[Luke Burbank]

They kidnapped Your family, It's a sauce.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kidnapped Bingo.

[Luke Burbank]

They're holding a candle right near his butt. And if you don't eat this banana, my poor boy. Bingo gets it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I really thought. I'm just sort of still processing that. Honestly, what I saw was I thought I saw my cat catching fire.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't think I saw my cat singeing himself because I just saw a big kind of poof of smoke, and I saw the flame grow, and I thought his ass was on fire for a second, and it wasn't. But I'm just. I'm sorry that I really thought it.

[Luke Burbank]

Was gonna burn his body.

[Andrew Walsh]

Honestly. I really thought that I had to, like, I thought I was gonna have to go jump on my cat or something because he was on fire, which I shouldn't do that, but I'm in this situation. It's saw 17, right, and Jigsaw has ridden in on his little tricycle thing, and he's got a banana split in one hand. I'm chained up. For some reason. I don't know. I chained myself up. Honestly. I was just looking for something to do. And then he has a banana split in one hand and then one of those frozen bananas dipped in chocolate that you can get at Cedar Point or something in the other. I'm gonna probably take the frozen banana, maybe, because the main thing I don't like about bananas is its consistency.

[Luke Burbank]

See, I'm going banana split, and the reason is I feel like those frozen bananas. The problem is I've had the good version of that, which is called an ice cream sandwich. It's called, like, an ice cream bar. So you have, like, the milk chocolate that's around the ice cream, and that's really good. When you're biting through that chocolate, then all you're getting is a banana in the middle of it. I feel like that's a downgrade from the, you know, the vanilla ice cream covered in chocolate.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're talking like a Dove bar kind of thing.

[Luke Burbank]

A Dove bar. There's a perfect example. So, like, imagine a Dove bar. And imagine. Imagine the chocolate covered banana. Yeah, chocolate's great. The chocolate and the ice cream is great. But when I'm biting through that chocolate into what my mouth and brain have been trained to think is going to be something that tastes like ice cream, and it's just a banana. Just a thing that grows in the ground. Like, how much could that cost, Michael? I'm disappointed because I've been trained in the other context that it's going to be ice cream, and it's going to be delicious. And then at that point, a banana is a step down and you grow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Grew up. Like, wasn't your grandfather, like, one of the famous banana diggers of the 1920s? They go through the fields, like, kind of digging up all of the bananas growing in the ground.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I remember that.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I understand it, but I'm talking, you know, But. But for me, as a man who doesn't like bananas, I know that one of these is going to be banana based. And again, Jigsaw is like, ha, ha. When you're down here, you'll float too. And I'm like, okay, Jigsaw, that's the wrong movie.

[Luke Burbank]

Just think about, like, for anyone else who likes bananas, what a good day that is to be in the Saw movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. That's the best one for them. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, compare. Like, like, compare to the others. Would love it that Jigsaw is doing, like, oh, my God. Becca would volunteer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For she be. Chain me up. I don't care. Well, you were feeding me bananas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I'd be like, don't you. Can't you just do brain surgery on me while I'm alive or something?

[Luke Burbank]

Do one of them thingies last thing. And then we gotta get out of here because I know you've gotta. You gotta.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta decompress. I gotta call Genevieve. I gotta say, I gotcha, man.

[Luke Burbank]

I understand that. And I'm not. I hope that doesn't sound like I'm making light of it. I don't think you overreacted. And I totally understand what you're saying, which is you observed what felt like and could have been, by the way, if it went on for one more second. An actually really dangerous thing for Bingo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And that your bottom body just dumps adrenaline into that situation to help you deal with it. And then when the danger has passed, you're still sitting with all that chemical feeling and everything. So, like. And I'm just thinking sound crazy on the recording.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm really. I'm both very curious and very nervous about listening to what that sounded like.

[Luke Burbank]

It just sounded like your. Your cat was on fire.

[Andrew Walsh]

I probably screamed into the microphone, but I just keep thinking, like, what if I had gotten up for a moment and. Because this. This little jump that he does, he does it multiple times a day. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

It's his.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's his big jump. I always say that's a big jump for a little kitty. And it is a big jump for a little kitty. And I. I just feel like, what if I had Just gotten up to refill my water bottle or something and he had done it. I think everything would have been fine. I think he was about to launch himself anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

And I would come unclear because also, do cats. This is a real question. Do they instinctively. Do animals instinctively have a sense of stop, drop, and roll? I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

We were taught that.

[Luke Burbank]

The only reason. Yeah, like you would think again. I don't even want to imagine this. I know you certainly don't want to imagine this, but it's something that could have gotten really out of control really fast because they probably don't know instinctively how to. Let's use our favorite word again. Mitigate.

[Andrew Walsh]

That.

[Luke Burbank]

The Secret Life of Walter Mitigate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, good. Might be a show title worth its weight in meat. It just got bumped for a new show title.

[Luke Burbank]

But, like, seriously, that just. I don't know if Bubbles instinctively would have. Sorry. Bingo. Would have instinctively know. Known what to do if. That would have gotten worse if you were out of the room.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I feel like cats would roll more. Cats don't roll. I mean, Bingo kind of rolls.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I do think a dog would be more likely to roll.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Instinctively. I don't know if a cat. If something would kick in a survival mechanism or not. I'm just glad we don't have to. I'm glad we don't have to find out through real life experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, did you have a. One last thing that you wanted to add to the show?

[Luke Burbank]

I was just going to recommend cottage cheese for people. I know you don't like cottage cheese, but 2025 has been the year of cottage cheese, and I am loving it. Jerry, if you are someone like me who does enjoy things that are cheesy and creamy and all the stuff that Andrew generally eschews, give cottage cheese a try. Give it a day in court. Like, I had probably had not had maybe ever in my life. My parents weren't cottage cheese people. Maybe I'd had it once or twice as a kid. Mostly I avoided it. It seemed weird to me. But, like, I am eating so much of it, and it is so good. That's all that's what I wanted to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

So.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, well, thank you, everyone, for listening. We are going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. I'll be continuing to observe the. Oh, shoot. You know what? The light is wrong now. I'm not gonna be able to get a picture of our depressing blinds.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, we have a depressing barfly, so don't worry.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go. As long as it's depressing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So we'll see you tomorrow with more imaginary radio. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Wishing you Power Purring and Mega Meow moments always. Bye for now. Power out.