#4623 Exhausting Reality's Bullpen

Summary

TBTL #4623 "Exhausting Reality’s Bullpen"

Airdate: December 19, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

On this Friday edition of TBTL, long-time friends and hosts Luke and Andrew riff through their signature mix of pop culture, personal anecdotes, listener interaction, and the ever-present drama of sports fandom. The show covers a wide range of topics, including training pets (and their dignity), a quirky journalistic interaction with David Sedaris, an epic Seahawks game and its attendant rituals, and the slow demise of the penny in the US. With signature warmth, dry wit, and a touch of self-deprecation, this episode encapsulates TBTL’s mix of humor, nostalgia, and friendship.

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Main Topics & Key Discussions

1. Friday Vibes & Personal Updates

• Luke opens the episode with playful banter and a nod to the "Friday" Rebecca Black meme, setting a relaxed, end-of-week tone.
• Andrew discusses his lack of water during the show and jokes about Bingo the cat's potential podcast involvement (03:00).
• Quote:
  • "I haven't trained him to podcast, so I'm trying to figure out what's easier, bringing me water or podcasting?" — Andrew (03:09)
• Discussion on pet training—Andrew prefers not to make his cat Bingo “work for treats,” while Genevieve (Andrew’s partner) does.
• Luke recalls his experiences with trying to train past pets, quipping about food motivation and the “absolute independence” of certain animals (04:47).

2. The David Sedaris 'Dog Bite' Mystery

• Luke provides an update about David Sedaris’s controversial essay recounting a dog bite incident in Portland and muses about his own struggle with memory and the feeling of being "loud wrong" about facts this week (06:21).
• After confusion about when the incident took place, Luke emailed Sedaris for clarification. Sedaris promptly replied:
  • Quote:
    • “Dear Luke, it happened in May, and I read the essay all fall. So maybe you heard it then. Sincerely, David. Sent from my iPad.” — David Sedaris (09:26)
• Luke and Andrew discuss the “Mandela Effect” and the odd comfort/discomfort in publicly acknowledging small memory failures (11:24).
• Luke riffs on losing streaks:
  • Quote: “If you’re going to lose 1–0, you might as well lose 15–0. Tire out the Texas Rangers.” — Luke (11:47)
• They joke about the phrase “tiring out reality’s bullpen,” which later becomes the episode’s title (12:03).

3. Pop Culture & Generational Nostalgia

• The hosts drift into the nostalgic culture of the 2000s, reminiscing about David Sedaris’s influence, The Shins, and the era’s “sacred tomes” (15:17).
• Andrew references how much “This American Life” and authors like Sedaris shaped their sensibilities, contrasting past obsessions with current, busier lives (13:57).
• Joke about the cultural prevalence of flash mobs, The Shins, Sedaris, and their generational impact (15:24).

4. Cringe-Inducing Surprises & Social Boundaries

• Luke describes a TikTok about a woman who orchestrated a plane-wide birthday surprise for her husband—a gesture he dubs a “nightmarish over-the-top act” (16:49).
• Both hosts express horror at such public surprises and share darkly comic escape strategies.
  • Quote:
    • “If someone does that for my 50th, I will open the emergency exit door and slide down the slide.” — Luke (17:56)

5. Seahawks Game Recap & Sports Rituals

• Luke and Andrew break down a dramatic Seahawks game, highlighting emotional reactions and fan superstitions.
• Luke details swapping live commentary for Jay-Z’s "The Black Album" as a bid to influence the team’s karma (21:50):
  • “I muted the announcers and played the Black Album by Jay-Z… that was right when Ken Walker busted that long run” — Luke (21:50)
• Extended joking debate about the track order of “The Black Album,” with Andrew nerdily breaking down Jay-Z chronology (22:47).
• Recap of the game’s pivotal moments, including:
  • Sam Darnold’s rocky performance, debatable confidence, and beard authenticity (19:56)
  • The improbable "fumble" play and Charbonnet's heads-up touchdown (28:47)
• Luke admits feeling that the Seahawks “stole one” despite not being the better team (45:55).

6. Media, Hot Mics, and Marshawn Lynch

• Andrew shares the story of a Flyers announcer caught making an inappropriate joke on a hot mic (34:08).
• They dissect Marshawn Lynch’s heavily censored pregame appearance and debate the football player’s somewhat overblown “legend” in pop culture:
  • Quote:
    • “I feel that the charm and kind of character of Marshawn Lynch is and has been for a while now vastly, vastly overrated.” — Andrew (37:24)
• Luke agrees: “I can't remember watching something he did and belly laughing… it was a bit of a novelty.” (39:03)

7. Rams, Relocation, and LA Football Culture

• The hosts bemoan the state of the LA Rams fanbase, expressing sympathy for St. Louis fans and analyzing the business politics of NFL franchises (40:06).
• Chris Pratt’s guest appearance and his diplomatic answers about Seahawks fandom in LA are discussed (40:07).
• Quips about Rob Lowe’s infamous “NFL” hat and celebrity spectacle at SoFi Stadium.

8. Listener Feedback: Pennies and Practicalities of Currency

• A listener voicemail from Andrew in North Carolina (69:31) details how banks collect old or “bad” currency and return it en masse to the Federal Reserve, informing the show’s musing on how pennies are “retired.”
• The hosts ponder the logistics and equity issues around the US discontinuing the penny, especially regarding pricing, taxes, and cash-based transactions (72:29).
• Conversation also includes a thoughtful aside about the persistence of physical cash for certain workers and communities (75:27).

9. Listener Support Shoutouts

• Luke & Andrew thank their community of financial supporters in signature, silly style. Banter about city names, congratulatory asides, and fake bylaws around “no spanking” at the TBTL home office (55:05–57:16).

10. Viral TikTok: The Sliced Cheese Spotify Wrapped

• Luke plays audio of a TikTok imagining a Spotify Wrapped–style end-of-year report from your refrigerator—revealing how much sliced cheese you really eat (65:23).
  • “You ate so much sliced cheese right out of the package…that puts you in the top .01% of people who eat sliced cheese, which is not good. We are worried about you.” (65:39)
• Luke admits to being a big consumer of pre-sliced cheese and recounts a broccoli salad hack (66:37).
• Discusses an NYT headline about cheese and dementia, ultimately landing on the eternal truth: eat more fresh fruits and vegetables (68:13).
  • "It was odd that [the NYT article] ended with the shrugging emoji." — Andrew (68:10)

11. Listener Voicemail: On the Fate of the Penny

• Andrew in NC's voicemail details how banks handle the phasing out of pennies, adding practical color to the debate (69:31–71:32).
• Conversation about idioms (“bad penny”) and how language will shift as physical currency dies out (77:04).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You're trying to tire out reality's bullpen. I feel like if you just keep losing, the universe will have to go to middle relief." — Andrew (12:10)
• "If someone does that for my 50th, I will open the emergency exit door and slide out the slide." — Luke (18:03)
• "I muted the announcers and played the Black Album by Jay-Z... It gave us swag." — Luke (21:50)
• "[Marshawn Lynch’s] charm and character... vastly, vastly overrated." — Andrew (37:24)
• "The existence of LA Rams fans is... not a strange thing to me, but..." — Luke (40:06)
• "I have to give you that much. By the way, who's Eric Saubert?" — Andrew, on a random player having a pivotal game moment (44:54)
• "My refrigerator would just tell me I had eaten too much sliced cheese." — Luke (65:47)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Pet Training & Dignity: 03:00–05:52
• David Sedaris/E-mail Exchange: 06:21–13:06
• Millennial Nostalgia: 13:57–15:35
• Plane-wide Birthday Surprise Story: 16:49–18:03
• Seahawks Game (Black Album ritual, play breakdown): 19:48–28:47
• Marshawn Lynch/Amazon Pregame: 31:53–39:03
• LA Rams Fandom Rant: 40:06–45:55
• Text Chain & Football Fan Meltdowns: 46:22–52:51
• Listener Voicemail: Currency & Pennies: 69:31–73:08
• Cheese Consumption TikTok: 65:23–68:41
• Cheese & Dementia NYT Article Banter: 68:41–68:46
• Idioms & Language Changes ("Bad Penny"): 77:04–78:40

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Tone & Language

Consistently irreverent, self-aware, and warmly conversational—Luke and Andrew sprinkle their dialogue with subtle sarcasm, affectionate mutual mockery, and a fondness for deep dives into everyday minutiae. The episode features equal parts pop culture, sports, and pesonal sharing, buoyed by running inside jokes, nostalgic reminiscence, and gentle acknowledgment of their own foibles.

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Takeaway

This episode of TBTL is quintessential: sublime nonsense, sports heartbreak and ecstasy, pop culture sidebars, and the oddly comforting reassurance that even if you eat too much pre-sliced cheese or fumble the facts about a famous writer’s dog bite, reality’s bullpen is always waiting with a fresh batch of jokes.

Transcript

[A]

Your son has clearly been brainwashed by the evil and charismatic Mr. Burns. Are you sure you can get him back for us? Absolutely. I'm the one who successfully deprogrammed Jane Fonda, you know?

[B]

What about Peter Fonda?

[A]

Oh, that was a heartbreaker. But I did get Paul McCartney out of wings.

[B]

You idiot. He was the most talented one. TBTM Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is.

[A]

It's Friday. Friday.

[B]

Gonna get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

[A]

It's people who identify as nerdy, rapping about the things they love. Video games, science fiction, having a hard time meeting romantic partners. Losers, in other words.

[B]

Well, who keeps putting Twizzlers in the fridge? I told. Is it Sarah?

[A]

Crystal. Crystal does. She likes them.

[B]

Okay, well, Crystal, you and I are gonn Twizzler talk. Why don't we go get a beer, I'll give you some advice, and we.

[A]

Can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest. All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Do you need an extra little bit of loving? My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. The word that comes to mind is ludicrous. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where, surprise, surprise, surprise. It's a beautiful day.

[B]

Actually, California got sunshine.

[A]

We deserve it after the atmospheric river and the wind and all kinds of stuff. It's a nice day today. It's gonna be a nice episode of TBTL, I can tell you that. It's episode 4623 in a collector series.

[B]

And let the fun begin.

[A]

There was quite the football game last night. Holy catfish. You probably know that already. Well, if you're from Seattle, you probably know that. We're gonna talk about that a bit. Also, I've got an update on the David Sedaris situation when he was bitten by a dog in Portland, which he's been writing about.

[B]

Can you.

[A]

Can you verify. Can you give me some four one, one. And I've also got an update on this guy. He's the longest running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship you face. Who are you facing? He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[B]

Good morning, Luke. The good news is I will no longer be eating Cheerios in your ear as I did throughout the sound test today. However, I did forget to bring my water in here, so things are gonna get A little dry as the show goes on. Just be prepared for that.

[A]

Okay. If you need to go grab your water, I see Bingo is right behind you. We could just have Bingo.

[B]

That is a good point. Pop in, just see, like, a quarter inch of his tail entering the frame every two seconds.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I. Honestly, I think it'd be maybe a welcome change of pace for the listeners to finally hear from Bingo on the show.

[B]

Oh, you know, I'm sorry. I wasn't listening to you closely. I thought you were suggesting grabbing, getting Bingo to bring me my water. You're saying I should have you trained.

[A]

Him to do that?

[B]

No, but I also haven't trained him to podcast, so I'm trying to figure out which. What's easier, bringing me water or podcasting? I guess.

[A]

I think.

[B]

Yeah, you don't need thumbs for podcasting.

[A]

No. Have you taught him any tricks?

[B]

Well, Genevieve. Yeah. Genevieve makes him sit before she gives him treats sometimes. And he does do that. He sits. I don't do that. I always say it's undignified. Don't make him work for it. Like, he deserves treats. He should just have treats. But it is cute.

[A]

Interesting. So, I mean, that's a. But that's a true belief that you hold.

[B]

You feel that it is.

[A]

It's insulting to his essential decency as a cat to make him perform for food.

[B]

Well, I don't have an issue with Genevieve.

[A]

I mean, you're also not a fan.

[B]

Of potty training cats or humans, honestly. So, yeah, I'm more of a. Just free spirit when it comes to all that stuff. No, I don't have a problem with it. And it does show off his intelligence. I mean, the fact that Genevieve can teach a cat to sit before getting a treat is impressive, but sometimes I'll give him a little crunchy or something, and Genevieve says, make him sit. I'm like, no, I'm not gonna make him sit. It like, that's not our relationship. That's your relationship. My relationship is my bro wants a snack. I'm gonna help my bro have a snack.

[A]

There would be not a chance in hell of getting Bubbles to do any kind of. Any kind of performance, any kind of trick. Because, I mean, this was the deal when I had Rudy the Yellow Lab. We would take Rudy to. To training. We took her to two different, I think, trainers, and both of them said the same thing. Well, she should.

[B]

And both of them quit.

[A]

Yeah, both of them walked out exasperated. Well, the thing was, they always said, well, she should be really easy to train because she's very food motivated. And that's apparently the thing you need in an animal like a dog or a cat to get them to do stuff is that you gotta have something they want. And the thing with Bubbles is nobody has anything that Bubbles wants except maybe the southbound end of a northbound Holly. Cat seems to be her only interest is tossing salad. But as far as like trying to. Yeah. Reward her with something. Just doesn't care. Just has absolutely no interest in any of that stuff.

[B]

What is she like around food? She.

[A]

Her move is she will eat it very quickly and then throw it up.

[B]

Oh, shoot.

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty regular occurrence for her.

[B]

Yeah, cats do that. It has to be like a pretty, you know, regular occurrence I think for it to rise to the level of having to be worried about something. But that is gross.

[A]

I've got an update in the David Sedaris department for you. Remember yesterday I was very perplexed by something which was that he has written this essay about Portland and how Portland is kind of. It is kind of a Portland is dying kind of essay, but it centers around him being bitten by a dog that some folks that were, you know, probably homeless or certainly on the margins had, I think in a baby stroller maybe always a look the dog in the baby stroller. But. And that, that there was no concern for his well being. It was just like more concern for the dog. And he takes it as a kind of a symbol of, of.

[B]

Of the.

[A]

Again the, the deterioration of Portland. Well, what I. People in Portland have been responding to the essay. Most of them not super psyched because, you know, they want to defend their city. But I was having this weird memory of like, didn't this happen like years ago to David Sedaris? Because I don't know why I just, I had a memory of him either in an interview or writing about it somewhere or I just. But I've also been taking so many L's this week in the memory department. I have been just loud wrong about a lot of things, including how Peter Krause's last name is pronounced, which I never lived down. I actually think he might be mispronouncing it, but I don't want to get into that right now.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

I didn't even.

[B]

It's funny that you count that amongst your L's this week because I didn't even remember. Well, I said Krause, but it's not. Yeah, but it's not like you and I were like, it's Krause, it's crowd you know what I mean? We're both like, oh, yeah, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. We both just made assumptions about it. You know what I mean? Like, I just did that. That shouldn't. Stuff like that shouldn't live with you.

[A]

I would have bet before Susan Stanberg edited uttered the name Krausa, I would have bet $1,000 it was Krause. I don't know why. I just had that feeling. I've been having the feeling this week a lot of being very convinced of my rightness with something in my own mind and then being told unequivocally that I'm wrong. And that hurts. Lb. But so anyway, I was searching around yesterday trying to figure out when the dog bite incident happened. It doesn't specify in the story. And I emailed David Sedaris and I did. Who I don't email with on a regular basis. I don't think he knows who I am, even though I have interviewed him on this show. I've met him a handful of times, but I do not assume that he has any sense of who I am. But I emailed him to ask if when the dog bite was. And you pointed out, I think rightfully that my subject line was kind of poorly thought out.

[B]

It said very quickly, I couldn't put it that those are not my words. I want to just say, okay, I.

[A]

Regretted the way the subject line because what I was trying to do was make sure that he didn't think I was trying to bust him in a lie or an exaggeration or somehow use the timeline to disprove his theories.

[B]

Yeah. And your subject line was how dare.

[A]

You even say that to me?

[B]

No, yours was. It just used the word timeline. Right?

[A]

Like, yeah, very quick question about dog bite timeline.

[B]

And I just thought that, like, maybe that does sort of sound like, hey, I'm trying to sleuth something. If he's just going through email quickly and he let's assume he gets tons of them and he happens to see one, maybe he doesn't recognize your name and I don't know whether or not he does, but presumably does, and then he just says question about timeline. I could just see that as being another one that is maybe easily skipped in the moment because it sounds like somebody's questioning something. But I don't think it was a terrible headline or anything like that or regrettable or something.

[A]

No, but I thought it could lead to him just deleting the message or not responding or being a little annoyed and therefore not even reading it. But no, David Sedaris. He is nothing if not punctual and polite. Responded within an hour and a half.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Dear Luke, it happened in May, and I read the essay all fall. So maybe you heard it then. Sincerely, David. Sent from my iPad.

[B]

That's great. That detail. I mean, he has not taken off.

[A]

The sent from my iPad watermark on his email.

[B]

That really supports everybody's theory. Or everybody who's like, maybe like slightly unhappy with what's coming from his pen.

[A]

These days, feeling like he might be aging a bit crankier essay.

[B]

And by the way, as a cranky old man, like, I love that that's coming from an iPad. That's not a dig.

[A]

Sent from my iPad.

[B]

Pardon me for coughing into the microphone, but does that sort of scan? I mean, I know you said years, but does this sort of, does this split the difference of you feeling like you're not gaslit? Like, oh, yeah, I probably heard the essay somewhere.

[A]

Well, I have here's the problem. I haven't seen him perform live that I remember in a while. And unless I heard him on, unless he didn't do this as well, it would have shown up. He didn't do this as an essay on CBS Sunday Morning, did he? I know that I haven't been to any of his readings since May.

[B]

And you're saying this it would have to been broadcast in some way like this American Life, CBS Sunday Morning.

[A]

Yeah, something. Because I did. I haven't seen him since May, so I wouldn't have been at a reading. So it's like it doesn't, it doesn't really explain why it makes me think that I'm just having another sort of, you know, I don't know, weird mental moment where I'm kind of Mandela ing something into my, into my own mind. Because there's I don't, unless he publicly, like again, like you said on this American Life or CBS Sunday Morning, which I feel like he would have mentioned if I said because my email also said that you're. I have this weird memory of hearing you discuss this a while ago somewhere.

[B]

And you mentioned that you guys know each other or that you both have. You share a cbs.

[A]

I was trying to hurry some credibility.

[B]

So he might have said, oh, yeah, well, this was on a CBS thing or something.

[A]

Right. So in other words, I guess that, I guess that wasn't the case. And so, yeah, I don't feel like this explains where I got my theory from. I think my theory was just kind of wrong.

[B]

That's interesting. I, you know, the way this. Even when I. Even when I saw that. Okay, so half an L. You're okay. I was going to say. Are you really adding this to your full list of Ls? Because, I mean, I guess it's not satisfying.

[A]

You know what it's like, Andrew? It's like a baseball game. If you're going to lose 1 nothing, you might as well lose 15 nothing. Tire out the Texas Rangers.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

I don't even care at this point. This is my week of losing and I run the score up on me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In my theory, that's fewer losses for me next week.

[B]

You're trying to tire out reality's bullpen. I feel like if you.

[A]

I just have to get to the objective fact based universe's middle relief.

[B]

If you want that as a book title when you write your eventual book.

[A]

That's honestly one of your best jokes of 2025 here. As such a good joke. That is such a good joke.

[B]

Anyway, that's interesting. I really thought that. Especially because you had it in the show sheet. I'm like, well, there must be some update. So if the update was. He never responded to my email, I don't think it would have been on the show sheet. It might have just come up casually. And the way you sort of set the story up, I really thought you were gearing. I thought you were really winding us up for a. Finally, you know, Luke gets the W on something. You don't see it that way, but you don't. But you're. But it's not. I don't know, I guess it's not satisfying to you, but I do sort of feel like, well, the timeline is he did. You could have heard it somewhere. Like you just could have. Like, I don't know. Is he ever on podcasts?

[A]

Well, I heard him on Conan's podcast a long time ago. And that was when he famously, in my mind said that the drugs they give you when you get a colonoscopy are the best drugs you'll ever get. And so that actually really did encourage me. That made me think it shows you what I need as motivation in my life. But that kind of had me. That and just the absolute un. Sort of relenting brow beating from our friend Phyllis Fletcher had me thinking about my colonoscopy.

[B]

Oh yeah, about the colonoscopy. Yeah.

[A]

Had me finally getting down to business and scheduling it and all of that. But also the fact that David Sedaris said he kind of likes his colonoscopy because they give him some really Good drugs. I also didn't know until I read his essay about Portland that he's sober.

[B]

Oh, I don't think I knew that. I really lost track of him. So, I mean, I remember, you know, back in the day. I also don't listen to this American Life anym. I don't know if that's still a main outlet for him. But like, so much has changed in my life. I mean, there was a time when if you were to cut me open this American Life commentators would come out. You know what I mean? Like, I was so obsessed with like just that universe.

[A]

And Margie Rocklin would crawl out of your.

[B]

I actually.

[A]

Femoral artery.

[B]

I should laugh along with that just to.

[A]

I was trying to pick an especially contributor.

[B]

Yeah, that one doesn't ring a bell to me.

[A]

I should laugh as an L for.

[B]

And I know I'm undermining my. Undermining my own.

[A]

How about a Starly kind?

[B]

Of course, a Starly kind, absolutely. But anyway, it's just. I've just sort of fallen out of that universe completely. And so I kind of don't know what his deal is. But it's just like, man, back in the day, we would read every book. We would know when new books were coming out. We would buy the book and the audiobook on cd, if possible, and listen to it on road trips. You know, like, I know we had the. Both the paperback or. I'm sorry, the hardcover and the. And the audio of Naked. Like, the audiobook of Naked is like one of the biggest pieces of pop culture for me of the early 2000s. Did I miss anything else?

[A]

Well, of. Of his kind of.

[B]

No, I just mean of. Of the early 2000s. As far as I know, that's the only thing that the millennials cared about was David.

[A]

Like the sacred tomes.

[B]

It was.

[A]

Or I feel like the music of the Shins and the writing of David.

[B]

Sedaris and flash mobs. I believe that was what was running the culture then.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, my God. I saw something on TikTok the other day that it would have absolutely sent you running. It was a. I believe it was a wife who was. Her husband was turning 50 and he had said, please don't do anything over the top. I guess, you know, she is one of those people who likes to kind of do big showy gestures and she somehow. They were on an airplane flying somewhere. Now, I think the sad end of the story is that this guy ended up passing away. And the point of this woman's post was kind of like treasure the time you have with people, which is a very nice sentiment and I think one that we should all think about. And I am really trying to think about that, particularly as it relates to my parents because they are around all the time. Not this very day, but soon again they will be here and. But I love them and I'm really actively appreciating being with them because that will likely not always be the case. But anyway. But this. What this wife had done was somehow gotten everyone boarding the plane to wear these bizarre. They make the. You can get these things made now where you send a picture into the Internet of someone and then they'll make a hyper realistic mask. Not hyper realistic, but let's make a mask with that person's face on it.

[B]

Like a photorealistic mask.

[A]

Kind of a photorealistic mask of. And it's, you know, it's like. I think it's almost kind of like a sort of a. Like a nylons that you pull on kind of a thing. You know what I mean?

[B]

That's almost the Mickey. Yeah, but.

[A]

But it's the person's face, but it.

[B]

Pulls all the way over your head, front and back. Like I said, you got a panty on your head style.

[A]

Exactly. Is that a. A Raising Arizona.

[B]

Raising Arizona. Yeah. When he's robbing the store for some diapers.

[A]

I should watch that movie again.

[B]

God, that's been a long time for me too.

[A]

Such a phenomenal movie. But anyway. But the long story short, she got up like 30 people that were boarding this plane to be. To wear masks of her husband. And his response was, I felt like I was watching this guy go through like, what I noted is in her write up of it, she said, he asked me not to do anything over the top for his 50th. And then that's pretty over the top. And he was kind of laughing at it. And I mean, he was trying to handle it, I think, you know, as a good sport. But I kind of couldn't shake the feeling that he would have been fine without a bunch of people boarding the plane wearing masks of him. I certainly know that if somebody does that for my 50th, I will open the emergency exit door and slide out the slide.

[B]

You get to go down the slide. The good news is you get to go down the slide. The bad news is it's the last slide you go on for quite some time.

[A]

Yes. The last time you're allowed on an airplane.

[B]

Yes. Which would probably affect your lifestyle somewhat. I mean, I blame. I blame her. I blame the people who agreed to it, I wonder about.

[A]

I don't blame the people who agreed to it because now you would have no problem turning this person down. These are exactly the kind of boundaries.

[B]

That you turn this person in to. The TSA and ice if they were white. Only if they were white.

[A]

Boy, those are a couple of. Really? You whizzed a couple of smokers today. I might just have to call it on the show. We didn't get to talk about the football game from last night, which was intense and crazy. And I am going to take some credit for us winning, Andrew, because I was so torqued up about the game here by myself pacing around, sending long texts to the text chain about Sam Darnold not learning from his mistakes, which is how I was really feeling at one point. Fair, you know, like that it's weird with him. I don't want to get two X's and O's, but it's like, I think what you want in a quarterback for your football team is somebody who does not get bummed out when they do something. That's when they do something suboptimal. Like you need them to kind of have basically a sort of unrealistic confidence and you don't need them to be overly self reflective and kind of like beating themselves up. That won't do anyone any good. But there's something about Sam Darnold just like throwing a really dumb interception and then just kind of sitting on the bench staring into the middle distance. I don't know what I want him to be doing, but that in the moment, didn't seem like he was adjusting his behaviors. Now he ultimately did. So that was good.

[B]

But can I ask you a question? When you look at his beard, do you have to ask yourself whether or not it's an Instagram filter of a beard?

[A]

It does not look like it's permanently attached to his face.

[B]

It looks like one of those things that you see it sometimes.

[A]

A beard on you.

[B]

Yeah, one of. Because it's like close cropped and it's just like kind of perfect and you.

[A]

Know what I mean?

[B]

But not. Not even perfect in an attractive way. Although I'm not saying he's unattractive either. It just looks fake. It looks virtually created.

[A]

I at some point was so wound up about the game and was just pacing around my house like a total maniac that I decided that I needed to change up the mojo by putting by muting the announcers and playing the Black Album by Jay Z. Okay. Thinking that it would somehow it would both give me swag and the Seahawks, who, as far as I've been told, didn't hear it coming back through the television into the stadium. Like, in my mind, we needed to get some swagger. And let me tell you, when I did that was right when Ken Walker busted that long run to start the second half, which put some. Some energy back into us. And then at some point, I turned it off. And that was when we started. That was when the game seemed really over, when we were losing, I think, like 30 to 14. I turned the music off, and then I turned it back on right before the Sheehy kick return. So I think the music was affecting the play of the Seahawks. And the problem now is I have to listen to the Black Album by Jay Z during every football game when they. It's like my version of the Hawk Bomb that our friend Camaro Kev used to have to do. And I put have to in quotes. I don't think he minded, but he would have to go to the Pinehurst Pub and do this horrendous mixed drink shot because we had decided it somehow fixed the mojo for the Seahawks.

[B]

What happened during the game, during track one, which is just Jay Z's mom sort of talking about the day Jay Z was born, did that bring the mojo up? That's such a weird vibe. Or do you skip track one?

[A]

Well, I actually skipped. I think you're thinking of track two, December 4th.

[B]

Oh, that.

[A]

What's that one is called Interlude, and I did skip that because I don't think I've ever listened to Interlude. I don't think I even.

[B]

It doesn't begin with the December 4th thing.

[A]

You want to get pulled down in Romania and parts of Brooklyn. Is that.

[B]

Give you a W. Here, you need one. I'm taking it. I'm just. I haven't listened that in.

[A]

So I think that December 4th is track two, and that's the one that starts with his mom talking about him and how he, you know, was.

[B]

Yeah, you're. You're right.

[A]

A special child.

[B]

It is funny. I guess I've never given him enough credit for starting an album with the track called Interlude, which is a pretty funny joke. Like, literally the definition of an interlude is something that comes between things. So to begin with, well, it comes.

[A]

Between you putting the CD in the CD player you have listened to and just listening to December 4th, the second track on the record.

[B]

So does he actually rap on this, or is this is.

[A]

I don't know, because, like.

[B]

Okay, so I think I just probably.

[A]

Used to listen, you probably just go, right. Go to 12-4-1.

[B]

Just sort of. I want to hear a little bit more of this and hear sort of how that blends into December 4th. What we're listening to right now is Interlude, which is only about. It's less than 90 seconds long, and we're about 40 seconds into it. Okay. So now I'm going to skip maybe to the end of this track and hear how it goes into December 4th. Okay. So it just fades out. Okay, I can see why I forgot about that.

[A]

Flourish.

[B]

ZL Ho. Sean Carter was born. Yeah, this takes me back. Takes me back to those. To those hard streets of Concord, New Hampshire, where I was on a treadmill listening to this album and really connecting with that is interesting. So you would begin with maybe track three to bring the vibe up, or did you begin with December 4th?

[A]

I began with December 4th. I love that song. Because as soon as Jay Z's mom stops talking, he gets into his flow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's really good.

[B]

Well, listen, I don't.

[A]

But it was. It was a vibe. And I mean, it helped that the Seahawks were doing well on television while it was happening. But you. I was about to say, you should have seen me, but, Andrew, you shouldn't have seen me, but I was just strutting around my house, listening to Jay Z, pumping my fists and just screaming maniacally as good things would happen in the game. And then when bad things were happening, it did also kind of take the edge off a little bit. Also, I was just annoyed with the.

[B]

Announcers, you know, how, oh, my God, they're doing poorly. I was about to say, like, referring to our quarterback as Sam Bradford at least once, I think. Yeah. Who's. Who's El Michael? Is it.

[A]

Is it Menifee, Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstream.

[B]

Herbstreet, not Menifee. I get those guys confused. Herbstreet called him Sam Bradford at least once he referred to the Seahawks.

[A]

So funny, because Sam Bradford was. Yeah, no, a long time ago. In the NFL world, it's been Sam Darnold's league for so much longer, more recently than it was Sam Bradford's league.

[B]

But I will say this. That game was incredible. I mean, first of all, I was telling you that Thursday night football games just tend to be bad. Just across the league, they tend to be bad. There are some reasons for it because of, you know, it's a short week for both teams that are playing, assuming that they played on the previous Sunday. And it's just. And maybe it's just A, you know, maybe it's just sort of like a sharpshooters theory where it just sort of seems like those games end up being bad. And when you're expecting them to be.

[A]

Bad, part of it has to do with, I think they don't have first pick. Yeah, Monday Night Football gets first or maybe Sunday Night Football gets first pick and then Monday Night Football. So they're really getting the dregs.

[B]

Which really gives you an insight into how like the NFL, or at least the, the media outlets bidding on the NFL looked at the NFC west way back before the season began. For, for this, like, for this interdivisional matchup to be on Thursday Night Football. And it being like the, I mean, this. I was going to say, and I actually said during the game yesterday, I'm like, this is maybe not the best football game I've ever seen, but the best Thursday Night Football game I've ever seen. Which is untrue, of course, because obviously when the Browns broke their losing streak against the jets, obviously the best Thursday Night Football was that a game that.

[A]

Sam Darnold was out for mononucleosis.

[B]

That was when, I mean, that was, that was a Thursday night game. And it was one of the highlights of my sports fandom was. And I mean, it's sad that it happened on an injury, but Tyrod Taylor, the Browns quarterback, got injured and Baker Mayfield finally got his debut and took over for the Browns and won their first game in like a season, like, I don't know, over. Over a season. It was incredible. That's what people remember most when they think of Thursday Night Football. This will be a very close number two. This was insanity last night.

[A]

Well, it was the first time 211 win teams have ever played on Thursday Night Football. So there you go.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

That's all you. I don't know if one 11 win team has ever played on Thursday Night.

[B]

Football and then for it to go into overtime for a kicker. You could hear Al Michaels saying when, when. I'm trying to remember where it was in the game, but I can't remember their kicker's name. The thicker kicker they call him. Right. They, he, he, he was perfect coming into this game and kicked two or maybe three field goals or. Yeah, I think field goals slash extra points. And then you could hear EL Michaels say, he has been and he misses it like he was getting ready for the perfect call. I don't know if you heard that or if Jay Z's mom was talking at that point.

[A]

It was during an interlude.

[B]

But I mean the things that had to happen, and I know you don't want to get too much into it, but the casual picking up of a football for.

[A]

The two point conversion.

[B]

Was insane. Anybody who has him as your fantasy running back, I mean, God love you, Charbonnet, when he just casually picks up that ball, always pick up the ball, right? That's why the players are always going after the ball after the, after the play is dead. Because you just never know.

[A]

I mean, for that to be totally critical in this football game and for people that didn't watch or whatever. There was a play where the Seahawks were trying to tie the game with a two point conversion and our guy, Sam, don't call me Bradford Darnold threw a pass that was actually blocked. It was actually knocked back or knocked away by a Los Angeles ram. But because he was technically like this was not an intentional thing, he just happened to be throwing the ball kind of slightly backwards, which means it's not actually a pass. And, and so because of that it wasn't a pass. It was just like it was basically a, a fumble of sorts. And then now somebody was pointing out if you want to just get into the weeds and I think they were wrong about this, that the team that does the fumble can't advance it. But on the other hand, right, Isn't that a rule or is it the person who fumbles can't be the first person to touch it. No. A Fumble Rooski is amazing. And I would, I thought to see.

[B]

I thought that was a purposeful fumble that advances the ball.

[A]

I think you fumble Ruski. What I am I going to get myself?

[B]

You are going to get. Because you've. I've, I've been wrong about this before and you've explained it to me. That's how I always remember it. But I'm remembering it wrong clearly.

[A]

What I, growing up, what I thought the Fumble Rooski was, was where the quarterback actually leaves the ball on the ground intentionally. Everybody runs one direction and then a running back goes and picks the ball up and goes the other way.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's what I heard was the Fumble Rooski as a kid, I could be wrong about that. But, but there is a rule about like if you fumble the ball, I don't think you can advance it. But on the other hand it also, it hit like it, it hit a Los Angeles ram. So in other words, it would be this, that the play was indistinguishable from if Sam Darnold was dropping back on a pass and A Ram came in and tackled him and he fumbled the ball and then a different Seahawk picked up the ball and ran with it. So I think that would have. I just. It was. I saw a very angry Rams fan on TikTok last night, which I didn't even know. And I want to say this with absolute peace and love. If we have listeners that are die hard Rams fans, the existence of LA Rams fans is such a. It's not a strange thing to me, but it's like that team has just moved around so much and like went, you know, it was like they were the St. Louis Rams and then didn't they become the. The. Were they the Los Angeles Rams and then they went back to being the St. Louis Rams or something. I feel like they've had a very weird existence. And in fact, last night, Chris Pratt, did you watch the pregame show at all?

[B]

No.

[A]

Because you were able to watch this on your. On your over the air tv?

[B]

No, in fact I wasn't by the way, for some reason because we. Our TV is in the basement and maybe it's. I did not realize this because I just haven't been watching the over the air TV that much since we got this antenna. But we basically got it or Genevieve picked it up for, you know, like it was like $10 or something like that and wanted to watch football games over the air. But for some reason it doesn't pick up. Fox 13 picks up Fox 13 plus which was playing local news, but I could not get the channel Fox 13. It just did. My television and antenna rejected it so I ended up having to plug in my computer anyway. But it was a really. I mean it was a perfect stream. I didn't have any issues last night, but I did not start the game early. In fact, I think I missed the first five minutes messing around with that.

[A]

I was making broccoli salad and I was watching the Amazon pre game, which by the way, and I. She's a, she's a Seattleite and so I'm rooting for her. But Carissa Thompson was also like, she was having trouble. She kept saying, you know, kind of like when she meant to say the Seahawks are going to do this, she would say the Rams and then she would sort of. She kept switching which team she was talking about.

[B]

Oh, I didn't hear her do that. I don't know that I clocked a lot of her stuff.

[A]

She wasn't in the broadcast.

[B]

Yeah, she's a side. Like I saw her that they were teasing her about her leather hat. And fur coat code. At one point I kind of heard that, but I definitely heard again, I'm going to say Herb Street. Yeah, Herb street. Right. Yeah. I heard him flip around the Rams, Seahawks a couple of times. I didn't hear her do it, but anyway, yeah, she did it in the.

[A]

Pregame and she got called out by Marshawn lynch, which was interesting. So first of all, they've got Marshawn lynch as some kind of like, the Amazon. They had like a bunch of people on the, like, pre show. So it's Carissa Thompson, Ryan Fitzpatrick, aka FitzMagic, Tony Gonzalez was on there. Richard Sherman, and then the guy that actually used to be on the line for the Rams. Wit, whatever his name is.

[B]

Get you out of that one. I don't know.

[A]

But Whitfield, Stillman. Yes. Metropolis.

[B]

Wouldn't that be it?

[A]

They just like to mix. Metropolitan.

[B]

Yes, Metropolitan. That would be incredible. They just pull out a ghost. Anyway, go ahead.

[A]

So they also then. So that's like the crew. And then they're bringing. They're bringing in Marshawn lynch. And it was truly wild because. So first Carissa Thompson is talking to him and she's saying something like, what do the. He's trying to say, like, what do the Seahawks need to do to stop the Rams on defense or something, but she says, like, what are the Rams need to do? And he goes, you mean the Seahawks? When usually what broadcasters do is they know what the other person is talking about. They let it go. They just keep going.

[B]

Or they corrected themselves in repeating the question. They'll casually fix it. You do that for me. Sometimes I notice.

[A]

Then. Then. So which. That's not the end of the world. But because he was actually was like, well, he's listening, so that's good. Like, honestly, I was like, well, that's active listening. He wants clarification on what she's actually talking about. But then they had to bleep his entire answer.

[B]

Really?

[A]

And then everyone's kind of laughing on, like on the set. And then he just keeps. Every time somebody would say something, like the guy from the Rams whose name I can't remember off the top of my head, he was saying something about what the teams needed to do. And then Marshawn lynch was like, no, that's totally wrong. And then they had to bleep Marshawn lynch for another, like, 12 seconds. I had no idea what he said on the broadcast because he didn't say anything. That was unbleeped.

[B]

That's funny. Bizarre. They must have had a Bit of a delay. And also were probably really ready. They must have known this guy's gonna be a wild card. Maybe.

[A]

Maybe it's also funny because, you know, it's not an over the air broadcast, so.

[B]

No, but they don't want. But they still want families watching. They don't want to. Yeah, they don't want to. Oh, did you hear the, did you hear the hot mic moment? I think it was from last night's Flyers game or maybe two nights ago. I just saw it for the first time. Somebody made an inappropriate joke. I don't even know if it's worth bringing up. It wasn't one of those things where somebody was saying something actually hateful like with Tom Brennan or whatever that guy's name was for the Reds. But a guy made a very inappropriate joke. Apparently he thought he was in commercial break. This is the long time, like 30 year announcer of the Flyers thought they were in a commercial break. And you hear him going, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. And then suddenly you just hear him say, by the way, earmuffs. We like this to be a family show too. But I'm just going to say, he just says, while you're down there, could you blow me?

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yes. And it's clearly a joke now, who he's joking with, the gender of the person, the relationship he has with the person. If that's another. Like if it's a guy he's been doing broadcast with for 30 years and they have that relationship, it's inappropriate to go out over the air. But it's not workplace harassment necessarily if it's somebody else. If there's a power dynamic there. I don't know any of the details of it, but he clearly said it in like a, a Brockmirey. Like he's making a joke, you know, and then it, but it goes out and he's of course issued an apology and the team has suspended him or maybe the league has suspended him for, for two games. So let's see here. Oh, I was just gonna say, can.

[A]

I just, can I play this Marshawn lynch thing for you at some point?

[B]

Yeah, no, go ahead, go ahead. Because I, I was gonna give you a hot take on Marshawn lynch if you want.

[A]

Okay. I still want that, by the way.

[B]

I know, man.

[A]

And I get to, to be here, but I, I don't hold you. I've been feeling, you know, like. Because I don't see a lot of.

[B]

Two foes in the stand.

[A]

By the way, why would Sports Illustrated have a headline Amazon Prime Thursday Night Football pregame had to. Pre game show had to censor Marshawn lynch so much. And then they link to a piece of footage where he's not being bleeped.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At all.

[B]

Here it is.

[A]

They. So I guess what happened is. Okay. It's unclear exactly what he was saying, but Amazon clearly decided that it was something that the impressionable young children tuned into the pregame show did not need to hear. Here he is getting bleeped while looking for someone wearing his jersey in the crowd. And here he is when he thought Andrew Whitworth. By the way, that's the guy I couldn't remember. Here he is when he thought Andrew Whitworth asked him if he had any memories of a robbery instead of the Rams Seahawk rivalry. So let me see if this one Marshawn lynch got on the podium was censored. 80% of the same. Let's see if this one is. Let me ask you, were you a robbery guy? You got a robbery game memory?

[B]

You said a rivalry or a robbery. I was.

[A]

Anyway, that audio is not particularly helpful. Yeah, but it was. It was kind of. It was. It was interesting. It didn't. I mean, you know, it's. It's the typical thing with Marshawn lynch where it's entertaining, but I don't know really how much nutritional value sort of was there. What's your hot take on Marshawn Lynch?

[B]

Well, I don't think anybody's gonna like this, but I'll just put it out there to say that I. I spit my truths, Luke. No matter where my fandom lies, I feel that the charm and character.

[A]

Andrew Walsh was born on November 28th.

[B]

I feel like the charm and kind of character of Marshawn lynch is and has been for a while now vastly, vastly overrated. Vastly overrated. Like when he was younger and a little less known, and he went to that. Was it the Applebee's when he was playing for. He was playing for the Bill. Bills are giants. My apologies. I get those confused. Yeah, I shouldn't. But yeah, he was playing for the Bills. And so, like. And he was new to town, right. And he was like, oh, I can find fun things to do, and he goes to some chain restaurant. Like, that was so charming. What was that? Was that 15 years ago or more at this point? And so, like, I'm not a total hater when it comes to him. And I loved him, loved him as a Seahawk, both as a person on the podium, as a Seahawk, and of course, on the field as a Seahawk. I'm not saying that he is not an entertaining, smart guy, but. And also incredibly, you know, talented athlete, but the idea that as soon as he was done playing football, he was just like, in, like, almost every single TV show. Wanted. Did he do something on Brooklyn Nine Nine? I know he did something in that improv show that was like a mystery show. And everybody was always gaga over it. And I was just always like, I just don't think he's as talented. I think we love seeing somebody who has this personality, which is a little bit cantankerous. And also, you know, he holds his own. Like, I'm just here, so I don't get fined. I love that. I love that stuff. But we kind of confuse that with acting talent and, like, how. How well he can actually perform on the screen. And it always felt a little bit like a novelty to me, but certainly not something that, to the degree that everybody celebrated him, I'm just like, I don't know, man. I got over that a long time ago.

[A]

Yeah, I. I mean, of course, you know, when he was in full, sort of beast mode. Seahawk. It was at peak Seahawk time. Of course, I was in the Skittles and all that. I was absolutely in the background. But that was all more him as a player. I mean, I've always, you know, I. I loved what he did on the field for our team. I was always a little less. Like, I was fine with it, but I can't remember watching something he did in the kind of belly laughing because of something that Marshawn lynch did. Yeah, it's a. I feel like it was a bit of a novelty. Now, quickly back, I just want to clear up what I was saying about the Rams, about the Rams fan base, which actually Chris Pratt alluded to on the pregame show. Chris Pratt's from Seattle. He's actually from Lake Stevens. I believe he went to high school with our buddies JD And Thunder. But. But like, they were asking Chris Pratt. It was like the D. Well, it was the dumbest question because it was like Carissa Thompson was asking him. You know, you're a big Seahawks fan, so if the Seahawks beat the Rams, what's it going to be like for you walking around Los Angeles? And I was like, you know the answer to that. Carissa, you also live in la.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The answer is nothing. No one gives a flip about the Rams in la, because the Rams were the LA Rams in the, like, Eric Dickerson era when I was a kid in the 80s, and then they moved to St. Louis, and they became the greatest show on turf in the city of St. Louis, embraced them and loved them. And then Stan Kroenke, their owner, who I believe married into a rich family and then got the money to buy the team, just did a total bullshit move to move them to Los Angeles to make more money with his team and take them away from the good people of St. Louis.

[B]

And then immediately. And then they build the world's biggest TV studio around them. And then they. They win their first super bowl, right? Didn't they win the first super bowl since moving back to L. A? And that's really. Isn't that where you get, maybe I'm probably wrong about this. I thought maybe that's where you get Rob, what's his name with the NFL hat in the stands. But I think I'm conflating those two stories.

[A]

Sure know that. Rob Lowe.

[B]

Rob Lowe. I might be inflating random stories, but. But like, I just remember, like, oh, it's a super. It just. And then they, they won that Super Bowl. It's just kind of like, oh, yeah, of course the rich people decided, wouldn't it be great? I mean, I'm not really a conspiracy theorist when it comes to this stuff, but like, like, it was all planned, but it was just seems so gross to me. It's like, oh, we're going to rip this team away. Take it to la, where people aren't really that into football. I'm not saying that there aren't football fans in la, but I remember fans who were of an age and literally a guy I worked with who had been a fan of theirs back in the day, but when they moved to St. Louis, I think he stopped caring. And then he's like, I'm not gonna start carrying again 20 years later or however long they were in St. Louis to come back. It just all felt so astroturfed. And then you just have all these celebrities who probably don't really care about football just packed into the LA stadium because wasn't it the first time also that. Yeah. How did all of these things. Am I making this up? Did they win their first super bowl as when they. After moving back to la, and did they get to play on their own field for the super bowl for, like the first time ever?

[A]

I'm trying to do this on the fly in 2016, the. Let's see. Well, in 2016, they played their first regular season game since returning to Los Angeles. And that season their coach, Jeff Fisher was fired after a 4, 9 season. So Sean McVay got there in 2017. 17.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I would say that they did have one year. They did have one. At least one off or one year where they were in LA and not like, you know, going to the playoffs in the Super. But they got there really fast after Sean McVeigh got there. And I do believe, because they were building SOFI Stadium.

[B]

So I think they were.

[A]

I think you're right about the fact that they were the first team, maybe the first team ever to get to play the super bowl on their home field, because SOFI was just where the super bowl was and they actually qualified for it. But, like, I guess what I want to be clear about is I feel bad for the folks of St. Louis who had a team and loved them and supported them and then just had them kind of just sort of callously ripped away and moved to Los Angeles, where you just basically get Rob Lowe sitting in the stands wearing a hat that says NFL. And that was kind of like Chris Pratt said to her. He goes. He was. You could tell that he was trying to be very diplomatic, but he was trying to say basically nobody. There are no, like, real. Like, there are no Rams fans in L. A. There are plenty of rich people who. Who go to the games, but there are lots of people from the other. It's sort of like going to a game in Vegas, which is to say, if you go to a Raiders game in Vegas, it will be 50% the other team, particularly if it's, you know, Steelers or Green Bay or Dallas or something. But these are these kind of weird new football towns where there's almost. No, there's not like, a real hardcore deep love for the team, per se. There's just an appreciation of going to things that are loud and have a spectacle to them and where you want to be seen, I guess.

[B]

Yeah. I was so loud. Wrong. I mean, they did play it so fi. They did play the super bowl on their home turf. And it was. It did irk me that it was like this. Seemed like this. This just like, you know, Hollywood celebrity film. But nobody really at the time. No, I was. I was in la. Cause I'm thinking about my colleague at KCRW when this news broke that they were moving. But you're right, I was way wrong that their first season was 2016. I was living in LA 2014, 2015. So, like, I was there for the news breaking, but not there prob for their first season. So it took them several years, six years or whatever it was to end up in the Super Bowl. And then Win the Super Bowl. But the whole thing did just sort of feel a little bit gross. I mean, could that have been. I don't know why I'm digging deeper into this. Could it have been the first year Stafford went there from Detroit that. I don't know. Why am I just making up more things to be wrong about? One thing that I was definitely right about not to be. And I told you so. But I told you I've been saying this. I don't know if I told you, but I have been saying this for months, that Eric Saubert is going to carry the Seahawks to the Super Bowl.

[A]

I have to give you that much back.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

I have to give you that much.

[B]

By the way, who's Eric Saubert?

[A]

News to me, by the way. Like, that was a truly shocking development. And here's what I'll just say. And again, I'm sorry that this has descended into football talk, but this is more just about the human experience. Now. We're bringing it back to a relatable side of this, which is. I mean, I'm obviously, like, over the moon that the Seahawks somehow won that game through just the most improbable. I mean, the statistics on it were. It was under. To the degree that these things can be believed. This, like, you know, gamecast, whatever statistics of them winning at a certain point was less than 3%. There was a less than 3% chance of them coming back to win that game, and they did. And it was through a bunch of fluky stuff and also some good playing on their part. But, like, I'm both totally psyched about it, and I also feel like we really stole one. Like, I don't feel like we were the better team at all. Like, and it's crazy because it's a hugely important game. It sets up all this other stuff, and it could be like, the Seahawks could end up going to the super bowl because of what happened in this game, because of the ball bouncing off that Los Angeles Ram and then Charbonnet picking it up and walking it into the end zone. But I actually think we were the fast, the vastly inferior team in that game. And I don't usually say that about my Seahawks, but, like, we were not better than them, but we. Some. We somehow got the win. And I will take it, but I don't know. I've kind of mixed feelings about the whole thing.

[B]

I was going, there's no need to do this would just be mean. I was just gonna say I was gonna read to you all of the texts from somebody on the chain who you have muted because it's the exact reason you have that person muted, which was like, you know, in the second quarter, just like calling the end of the season saying we're not making the playoffs. Like, oh my God. Not calling, not just calling the game, but saying we're not making the playoffs. And like. And just like, whatever.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I was like, well, I mean, and I did have this strange feeling, like, I don't know, like last night. I'm not saying that I was. When we were down by 16 in the third, even way we went in the fourth quarter, down by 16, right. So at that point I remember, like, I remember truly believing that the game was over too at that point.

[A]

When we threw the interception at like near our own goal line, huge guy.

[B]

Picked it up and didn't even.

[A]

It was like, well, that's it. Because if we would have gone in and scored there, I would have been like, okay, we're in this. But instead we throw this interception. That felt to me like, okay, this game, game is now probably out of reach.

[B]

And because it was another Darnold slash Bradford interception, and that's the story on him.

[A]

A darn Darnold.

[B]

It really did feel like, oh, this is just the way it is. And I mean, I was sitting there saying to Veeves, I'm like, well, clearly that answers your question. I remember saying right there, like, oh, that answers your question. Darnold is just a bridge for us. We gotta start really looking at young talent for the future. There's that question. Is he here for a couple of years or is he here for a decade? Because, you know, if things break the right way, he could be like a long term quarterback like Joe Biden.

[A]

Will he stay on as our quarterback for so long that the next quarterback doesn't have enough time to run an effective campaign.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's when we were told he was going to be a bridge quarterback.

[B]

Weirdly, I was hoping that Condoleezza Rice would replace him. Although she's a Brown connection. Exactly. But anyway, wasn't she actually on the NFL board for a while or something? She was involved in the NFL.

[A]

There was a lot of talk about her becoming the commissioner of football.

[B]

Yes, that's. That's right. Yeah. So all of that is to say, like, I'm not trying to make it sound like I was above all of that. However, the game did feel like before it even began, like I just had this, you know, this is just my own personal experience and maybe wishful thinking for what ended up coming true. But it felt like a pre playoff playoff game. Like the stakes of this game, I mean people who are not following this stuff closely and hear us talking, yes, it was an incredible game, but it was an incredible game on an incredibly important night. Like everything that was set up for these two teams for a tying record, best in football, fighting for playoff chances, facing each other already, face each other once. There's just all this narrative going into this game already. It's so important. And then if we're to be a Thursday night game so that it's the only game that's on, it's not like just buried in the early window of Sundays, you know what I mean? Like, there was just so much about this game that even when we were down 16, there was still a little bit of me that's kind of like. Well, I mean, I also remember talking to Veeves about like, well, let's see if they score a touchdown. Do you just go for two right away? And of course you do, but like, so there was always a bit of me thinking like, there is a way to win this game. If you grew up playing two, it.

[A]

Was a two score game.

[B]

Yeah. And so, and then when they, and then they do get the first two point conversion, you're like, oh, this is now a. An eight point game. And then that miracle of Charbonnet just casually picking up that ball. Because, man, again, just remember your training. Right? Like that I'm just so, like just always grab the ball. Just always grab the ball and he just casually picks it up. Doesn't even know that he's essentially saving their.

[A]

Maybe the season.

[B]

Maybe I was going to say season. I didn't want to be too hyperbolic, but like, honestly, a season saving, casual pickup of a ball that's laying on the ground, just. Just incredible. Like magic. Absolutely magic.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But again, a weird feeling where we won, but I feel like we got away with something, but we got away with it. Like definitely the Rams are a better football team than we are. Oh, and okay, but compare.

[B]

But, but I mean this is. I don't know.

[A]

As long as we don't have to play the Rams again, right? Which like, as long as somebody else takes them out in the playoffs, then yeah, I think we might be better than almost all the other teams in football, but I don't think we're better than the Los Angeles Rams.

[B]

But there's something about this game, this team, this year's team, that feels a little bit like, like kind of Pete Carroll era, a little bit and in some ways, like, well, not better, not better than the super bowl year, but like they've always been frustrating in the first half of games. Like even the best Seahawks teams, I feel like maybe not every single game, you could prove me wrong on that. But there was often this sort of like, you know, wasn't always Pete Carroll saying, well, you can only win in the fourth quarter or whatever. Like never winning the easy ways, but somehow winning. Like I telling the last night, I'm like, I don't know if I felt this way since Beast Quake. Like, it just, it just felt like such a damn moment. And this team which struggled to beat the Rams yesterday. Beat the Rams yesterday. They also struggled to beat a 44 year old quarterback who just came off the couch the week before. But they still won. You know what I mean? Like there's some. They are winning. I mean, I don't want to. I was going to say finding a way to win, but it sounds so cliche because it sounds like the people I just listen to on sports radio all the time, but like, I don't know, they gotta find a way to.

[A]

Win in the National Football League.

[B]

In the National Football League. But I mean, that's kind of it, right? Like they're finding ways to win against vastly different teams of vastly different, you know, talent levels.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I'm, you know, I'm, I'm walking on a certain amount of sunshine this morning. I'm mostly walking on sunshine and I'm pretty happy. And I'm also, I'm relieved that I didn't, that I remembered to block our friend on the text chain because I had unblocked.

[B]

You would have remembered very quickly. And I love him, you know, I love him and I usually defend him by the way, on, even on the text chain. But it was just like calling the season over and the playoff chances over in like the second quarter of a football game was just kind of like.

[A]

Because, I mean, I had such a lovely, very brief but lovely chat with our friend the other day when I was doing a, like a radio recording or a podcast recording and he literally just came in, wasn't even working on it particularly, but came in just to say hi because he heard I was gonna be part of it and we had such a nice chat. That's the thing. I love this person so much. There is just this one thing that happens to them when watching sports where it really does a number on them and then by extension a number on me.

[B]

Well, it's weird to have this conversation Publicly about him, assuming that he's not listening, but knowing that there's talking about my brother David. And we're talking, of course, everyone's wondering about your niece Emma. But I actually felt. Gemma, sorry. I was trying to protect.

[A]

Were you doing your Kirk herbs thing?

[B]

I was. Thank you for the COVID there. It's weird to have this conversation now, but honestly, when I was thinking about it, because I was thinking about him this morning, I was like, oh. But then once everything turned and everybody was celebrating, I don't think I heard from him at all. And I kind of feel bad. I know he doesn't want to be miserable during football games. It's processing it, and it's how he processes it and automatically assuming the worst and catastrophizing and everything. He doesn't want to be that way, but he is, and he can't stop it, so he does it. And what made me think of it was kind of nobody was really biting on the negativity. Little bait that he was putting out there on the text chain. And then I'm over on Blue sky, and I see that he's kind of reposting some of his same thoughts over on Blue sky to get people like, he's just like. But he's miserable in this moment. He's watching his favorite team collapse, you know, and it's like. And. But then when things do turn around and a miracle happens, I don't. I mean, I think that he shared joy, but I was wondering, like, why is he quiet here? And I was partially wondering, like, does he feel like maybe he can't share in the joy because he was so negative? And if that's the case, I feel bad about that because he should share the joy way more than me, who's been a casual fan this whole time, you know, or this whole season, certainly. So, anyway, actually, I'm not. I didn't even mean it to be dunking, but it is. It is something that I sort of can't stop being fascinated by.

[A]

Right, right. Because that's also a real bummer if it's. Because I don't think any of us would say that our friend is not allowed to celebrate the W's.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

Because they were. Because he was processing. You know what I mean? Like. Like, that's a. That's unfortunate. That's a kind of a double bummer if that. If it. If you don't get to enjoy the. The wins as well. And as somebody who's been taking a lot of Ls this week, I know just how important a W can be here and there.

[B]

Nobody's looking up the definition of fumble roofs.

[A]

All right, let's thank some of our donors. These are the generous, supportive people who are voluntarily sending in their hard earned money to TBTB so that we can do this for our job. Five days a week, 52 weeks a year. There's 100% listener support podcasting, supported by our friend Brian Dast in Portland, Oregon.

[B]

Hey, Brian.

[A]

Phenomenal musician, phenomenal producer of music, and just all around awesome person.

[B]

A blurs day giver and a blurs day getter.

[A]

Exactly. And deserving of all of the love and affection from all of us. Brian's the best. Thanks, Brian. Appreciate you. Thanks also to Rachel Potesta in a Lawton, Michigan.

[B]

Thank you, Rachel. I don't know if we've had the pleasure of meeting, but you are as. You are as esteemed a listener as Brian.

[A]

Yes, absolutely. It's the listeners, Andrew, are like our children. We love all of them equally and the same.

[B]

And sometimes I spank them.

[A]

Yes. And I tell you that that is actually illegal.

[B]

Yeah, that was. APM shut that down real fast.

[A]

Actually, that was actually. And that was a good thing. And we've carried that legacy over now to too beautiful to biz, which is a strict no spanking to list.

[B]

Which is weird because that's the reason I wanted to start our own company. I'm like, hey, you guys hear about this no spanking policy over at apm? I think we can do. I said, I believe my quote was, I think we can do better.

[A]

Yeah, let's start our company under the anti spanking policy.

[B]

There was a lot of weirdly other people were chafing under the pro spanking policy. So I guess turnabout is fair play. But I was really shocked when you and John, then, in our first meeting discussing the bylaws, decided to.

[A]

When we actually, it was when we were imagineering this whole independence move. To independence, where we met secretively in Portland and borrowed Becca's fancy work conference room. When you walked in, written on the whiteboard in, I would say maybe 170 point font, was just no spanking.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't like that.

[A]

John and I. That was the animating principle of the entire new business.

[B]

And it bummed me out because I had snuck in there now night, the night before and written the word spanking and you guys simply added a no.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which I didn't like.

[A]

And then we outvoted you.

[B]

So all that is to say thank you both.

[A]

Rachel, And Brian and Alexa Raider, who's in Everett, Washington.

[B]

Thank you, Alexa. I think I have met Alexa before, I think at a. At a TBT live show. Post drinks at Teddy's. Do I have the right Alexa? I think I do. Let's say I do.

[A]

Thanks, Alexa. Thanks to Douglas Jansen, who's in Fall River, Massachusetts.

[B]

Thank you, Douglas. I wonder if you go by Douglas River.

[A]

Is there a river named Fall? Is there a Fall River, I wonder. Or if was the river just running in the fall and they. I also, by the way, would have 100% thought it was Falls River.

[B]

What is your. I'm confused about your question about Fall. Oh, you're wondering if it actually has, like, waterfalls as opposed to.

[A]

Well, no, I'm wondering if the river. Fall River.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If that's named for, like. If you had a town called Columbia River, Washington, you'd be like, well, the river that's called.

[B]

Oh, I see. Does a river named Fall run through this town called Fall River? Oh, I kind of assume Fall River.

[A]

It's a city in Bristol County, Massachusetts. Okay, let's see. It's located along the eastern shore of Mount Hope Bay at the mouth of the Taunton River.

[B]

So it doesn't seem to line up.

[A]

It's known for the Lizzie Borden case, the Fall river cult murders, Portuguese culture, and its numerous textile mills.

[B]

Genevieve dressed up as Lizzie Borden for Halloween. When we were living in New England, we were living in New Hampshire, in fact.

[A]

Very regionally appropriate.

[B]

Yeah, indeed it was.

[A]

Thanks to Sarah Rinthaler, who's out there in Brooklyn, New York. There is a river in Brooklyn, but. Well, it's a canal, the Gowanus.

[B]

It's not the. The Brooklyn Canal.

[A]

Not the Brooklyn Canal that I know of. I feel, though, that, like, I read an article in the New York Times every seven years about how the Gowanus Canal is cleaned up and amazing now, and everybody loves it. But the fact that they keep writing the article makes me think there may be some hits and misses there on the old Gowanus Canal.

[B]

The canal doth protest too much.

[A]

I think the Times doth keep hyping it up a little too much. Aaron Irkinswick is in Las Vegas, Nevada.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

I'm heading your way soon, Aaron.

[A]

Yeah, you are. You sure are. I've got that on my calendar, by the way. I was just looking. I was looking at my calendar because I've been agreeing to do all kinds of things in the. In the months of January and February and realized I had not put down any of the livewire dates. Like they send them out, but I hadn't done the thing where I go in and, and place them on the dates in question. And I got really scared this morning that I had double booked myself, but amazingly I hadn't. But while I was doing all that, I noted that you are going to be in Las Vegas.

[B]

I got lost wages because. Because people spend their money on gambling.

[A]

Do you think, though, for real that you will, I mean, you like to pull a few tabs. Will you throw, will you throw a hundred bucks at the slot machines or something? I don't, I don't see you doing blackjack because I think that might be a little stressful for you.

[B]

Well, that's the one that I see. Here's the deal. It's not about. I'm thinking about it, but I need to practice first because you remember years and years and years ago when you took me to Goldie's for the first time, or maybe the first time that I was actually planning on gambling. I might have been in there before, just hanging out, eating some kung pao chicken or something like that.

[A]

So good.

[B]

But I did go into Goldies twice and play blackjack. And I was practicing on my iPad. Me and Sedaris were practicing on our iPads because I wanted to get into a rhythm of it and know what my own rules were. And just like, because it has to be a little bit muscle memory. It has to be a little second nature, Right. But then I was intimidated the second time because some guy groused at me. Another player groused at me and said that I had messed up his hand by playing.

[A]

Yeah, I think the last person you should grouse at.

[B]

And honestly, it ended up. It did have the cooling effect on me. Not in the traditional Las Vegas cooling effect, but in that I didn't play anymore. But it's really not about the money for me. It's about that. It's about embarrassing moments or looking like I don't know what I'm doing. But everybody tells me that in Vegas it's a little bit different. If you're going to play blackjack on Aurora Avenue in South Shoreline on a Wednesday evening, chances are you're playing with somebody who is a frequent flyer, has a, you know, really is not just there as a bubble gummer who's just kind of like, hey, I'm in from Ohio. And I say that is somebody from Ohio. Whereas, you know, Vegas has to deal with a whole bunch of people who are just like, I don't know, I'M here to party and gamble for the first time. What should I do with my chips? You know, like, if I can hide behind that and, like, just be somewhat, you know, somewhat competent, then that sounds fun. I love playing the video poker. Like, I love playing jacks. Jacks are better and stuff like that because I can just sit and, like, kind of have a cocktail and. And just basically play on an iPad. Only when, you know, pennies on the dollar or something like that. And while away some time, I love being in a casino. It's just that I'm always afraid of looking like a fool if I actually play a game where I have to interact with other people.

[A]

Well, I think you're. The people who are telling you that about Vegas are totally right. Like, it is a lot more fun and a lot less now. Not that. Not that plenty of people don't lose way too much money and make very terrible decisions financially and personally in Las Vegas. But. But certainly it's a different vibe than Goldie's. Like you said on a Wednesday night, it's a lot of people that are tourists and a lot of people who have kind of brought in some money that they're planning on losing and a lot of people who are learning how to play blackjack for the first time. So the energy is very different. I think you'll find it much more welcoming. It's also, there are tons of those video poker machines at every bar, and as long as you're playing them, it's also free drinks, which is not nothing in Vegas, too. And make sure that you. You can order, like, make sure that when you're ordering your free drinks, you find out what their top shelf stuff is, because it's usually fairly decent.

[B]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[A]

You don't have to just do gin and tonic. You could do, like, you know, Bombay and tonic or something.

[B]

I also have been working on this little pocket buzzer thing that I put in my pocket, and then I sit across the room, but I watch Genevieve play poker and I can see the hands of the other players and I. And I tap this little thing in my pocket. I've seen the movie.

[A]

She's going to play in that game with Chauncey Billups.

[B]

Right? I. Oh, is that what it was? That the big gambling scandal?

[A]

That was the, like, game where allegedly they had, like, the crazy table that could read the cards and telling people.

[B]

In earpieces, you know, was Chauncey the coach that you were like, I just think you need better bait?

[A]

Well, yeah, Chauncey was like one of the faces, they are called one of the people in the game who, if you're like a rich but but not famous guy, you would be attracted to play in this high stakes poker game that was rigged against you because you could. Could have the honor of sitting near Chauncey Billups.

[B]

I was like, you gotta get a.

[A]

Slightly more magnetizing celebrity for me to want to go and lose all my money. But no, I'm very excited for you to go to Vegas. I think it'll be. I think it'll be really fun. So. And I'm also very appreciative of our supporters who keep TBTL going.

[B]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week. I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[A]

All right. This is not exactly a vmail or email, but it is something that I saw on TikTok the other day and it just made me feel extremely seen. It's a. I don't know. I. I don't know what the line is between someone who's just posted something on TikTok and someone who's a content creator. I guess it depends how seriously they're taking it. So this person's handle is Orly Lewitt's, but they. Let's see. Did I actually. Oh, my goodness gracious. I might have even accidentally deleted this file because I put it in yesterday, but I can just drag it over from another screen. I do believe they had. This person had an interesting idea, which is what if your refrigerator did a Spotify wrapped style wrap up at the end of the year about the things that you've been eating? And this is what this person said. Wow, you had quite the year.

[B]

You ate so much sliced cheese right out of the package. You had a lot of options this year, but there was one that kept calling. It was sliced cheese. This year you had a total of.

[A]

678 pieces of sliced cheese.

[B]

That puts you in the top.01% of people who eat sliced cheese, which is not good. We are worried about you.

[A]

We have called your parents. Wow, you had quite the year. Sorry, I cannot tell you how much that mirrors my experience. If my refrigerator did a wrapped, it would just tell me that I have eaten too much sliced cheese. It is the one thing in my ref. And in fact it saved me last night, Andrew, because I wanted to do this broccoli salad and I had all the fixings for it. It's actually not. Well, I didn't have bacon, but it's basically mayo. Do you ever make broccoli salad do you like?

[B]

No. Especially if it's mayo based.

[A]

Oh, duh, of course. But I realized that I had all the fixins. Again, it's broccoli, it's mayo, it's white wine vinegar, it's some sunflower seeds. If you got cranberries, you can throw those in. I'm not really a fan of that. And then bacon, if you eat that stuff.

[B]

Like dried cranberries, like craisins.

[A]

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, definitely. I had almost all of the stuff, but I didn't have the sharp cheddar cheese you need to. You can buy like shredded sharp cheddar cheese or I guess regular sharp cheddar cheese and shred it yourself. But what I did have was four of those weird slices of sharp cheddar cheese still in. And I buy a lot of those packs of pre sliced cheese. And in the bottom of my cheese drawer, I found it, it was still good and have mold on it. And I chopped that up and put it in there and it was amazing. But yeah, I buy one of those things a week and just eat it by myself. One of those selection of. I don't know what my problem is with slicing cheese. Like, that's too much work for me. But that pre sliced cheese is the thing that I probably consume the most of during any given week of my life. And then I also saw a story in the New York Times that said, well, it's like every health story in the New York Times. The headline was, if you like to eat full fat cheese, it could lower your risk of dementia. Based on a study that they did, like in Switzerland or something. They basically tracked people who were eating a lot of cheese and a lot of full fat dairy. And those people had a slightly lower occurrence of dementia. But then they went on to say that you also could then just die of heart failure, heart congestion. And by the end of the article, it just said, basically you could eat like one piece of cheese a day, but mostly you should just be eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Like what we already know. It's like at the end of the day, we should all just be eating a lot of fruits and vegetables. That's really what we should be doing.

[B]

It was odd that it ended with the shrugging emoji.

[A]

I mean, that's. It was the. It was the. It was the equivalent of a giant. I saw the headline and I thought, well, that would be interesting for us because I do like to eat a lot of full fat cheese, a lot of sliced cheese. Maybe I'm doing myself some good. But then immediately upon reading the article, it was just a shrug emoji. It was like it might help you a little, but then also heart, you know, congestion and so just stick to the fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm like, we already knew that we're not doing it, but we already knew.

[B]

That we got it. Michelle Obama, we heard you the first time.

[A]

Did you have a voicemail about pennies?

[B]

Yes. Whether or not they're from heaven remains to be seen. You and I were talking about, and I'm still a little bit both shocked by the news, but also even more shocked that I had not heard the news until like literally 10 months late that the US is outlawing. Not outlawing, but like getting rid of the penny. Like, I. Oh yeah, I'm still really just surprised by that. Anyway, when you were telling me that story on the show a few weeks ago, I think you were maybe one of us was pondering about how currency like pennies end up getting pulled from circulation. And I thought this was an interesting perspective from Andrew in North Carolina.

[C]

Ahoy hoy, gentlemen. This is listener Andrew calling from Hickory, North Carolina. I am listening to Penny Talk on the podcast and staring at four pennies here in my cup holder of my car and thought I would pass on some interesting information from one of my previous jobs. I was previously a bank teller. And when you train to be a bank teller, one of the things they train you to do is to look for worn out currency. And you're trained to know or to recognize what a bad coin or bad piece of paper money, like if it's torn or something like that, what that looks like, and you're supposed to take it out of circulation. So you were asking on the podcast, how do we end up getting pennies out of circulation? Well, I'm sure there's many ways, but one of those ways is your local bank teller finds a bad penny and pulls it out of circulation. And then the bank branch itself hangs on to all of that bad money and they're supposed to return it to the local Reserve bank, the Federal Reserve Bank. But the problem is that you can only return a certain dollar amount of bad currency to your local Federal Reserve. So, like for $1 bills, I believe it had to be had to have $500 in $1 bills that you could return to the Federal Reserve. You had to save up $500 worth at the bank branch. So I imagine at least at my bank branch, what we did is we had safety deposit boxes that were storing a bunch of old broken down money. And I would imagine that your local bank branch, if it has a safe deposit box area is doing the same thing, has safe deposit boxes full of old broken down pennies and dimes and stuff like that. And they're saving them up until they get enough to send back to the Federal Reserve. And then at which point I guess the Federal Reserve melts them down. I have no idea what happens after that, but thought that was interesting. Thought I would pass it along.

[B]

Power out turns them into plowshares, I believe, huh?

[A]

Yes. You know, I've been seeing signs at multiple locations, like grocery stores and the like, like a printed out laminated thing that just basically said like, we need pennies.

[B]

Really recently.

[A]

Yeah, because. And they'll say because of the, you know, because of the stop in production of pennies, we need them. Please bring us your pennies. I've seen this in.

[B]

Well, what are they gonna do when there's no more pennies? Aren't they. Isn't this. I don't know because we're getting used to it.

[A]

But what does used to it mean? Because think about this. Your Safeway, somebody comes in and they buy something with cash and their change is 19 cents.

[B]

Well, they need to. The stores need to stop selling things that aren't at intervals of five cents, I guess. Right. Like literally we have to.

[A]

How do you do that though, with the tax? I mean, I guess you'd have to, like, you'd have to make sure that nothing that the tax added to it didn't ever take it into a middle range.

[B]

Did they think about this?

[A]

Well, this. We didn't even talk about this when. With the story. When we initially talked about them. I mean, obviously someone has. Well, with this administration, it's possible they didn't think of this, but I mean the funny thing is that like it's been. This is like one of the few things this administration done that's actually sort of non political. I think it's been a known thing for a long time that penny's cost us more to produce and deal with than their value. You know, like it's, it was something that didn't make sense for the country for a long time. But. But I still don't actually know what is the.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is the answer to that? Everything will have to be either a 5 or 10 cent. How do you make it so that every product I buy in any combination of products.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Always ends in 5 or 10 cents? Because then what about if it's a taxable product like a. Because I Know, food isn't taxed, but probably candy is, Right? And what if I'm buying detergent at Safeway? How do you control all of that? So nobody needs pennies.

[B]

Yeah, maybe you just round up or round down to the five. And I mean, the thing is also, this is happening against the backdrop of just like the vast majority of people paying for things digitally in some way. I pay for everything with my phone now. Or if my phone isn't working for some reason with the little POS machine, then I'll use my card. But I don't even use my card anymore. Using my card feel somewhat antiquated. And I'm somebody who actually likes to carry around cash. I actually really like cash. I like the feeling of having cash. And so. And also, like. So I was shopping at SARS yesterday, which is the kind of the discount grocery store by my house, but it's also huge. And it has this is. You know, I've talked about SARS a lot. I really like sars. And there were two fellas in front of me, and it looked like they had just gotten off of work at some construction job or something, you know what I mean? Kind of dirt under their fingernails kind of guys. And they had a huge cart of grocer, and. And I happened to be stuck behind them. It was one of those things, by the way, where I was waiting to see if somebody was going to come and call me, like, open up a new line and call me over. Because I was the first one behind these guys. And it's like, I've got, like two things. The person behind me has one thing, and these guys have a cart like that looks like a Costco cart in front of them. And I was waiting. I'm like, I know if I hold off on putting my groceries down on the belt, somebody will call me over. Finally, I gave up. I put my groceries down on the belt, and immediately they opened up another register for the people behind me to go use. But anyway, anyway, I was sitting there thinking, boy, this cashier's doing a great job of ringing all this stuff up quickly. But then the guys paid with cash. And I'm like, oh, well, probably because maybe in the work they do, it makes more sense for them to get paid in cash for a whole bunch of reasons. But they were buying so many groceries that the woman took at least $200 bills from them, right? And held them up to the light, which always kind of bums me out when people are inspecting money in front of the people giving. Whether it's Me. And I've been on there.

[A]

I'm always proud. I'm always like, you're about to find out that this is not counterfeit.

[B]

What I like to do is I like to take a gold coin, bite it a little bit, and then flip it with my thumb right into there.

[A]

Sometimes I'll deploy a sick joke, like, I just. It should be fine. I just made it.

[B]

That's pretty good. Like, be careful, don't smudge it anyway. But I'm just kind of like thinking, like, wow, these guys just bought tons of groceries and are paying in cash, you know, or at least partially in cash with $200 bills or whatever. So it's like there are people. And I sort of. I bring that up to say that, like, there are a lot of people who don't have, for various reasons, access or as easy access or as much access to digital payment methods. Right? Yeah. And how does this affect them? I do sort of feel like this rule goes through with just this idea of like, we don't need pennies, we're all just paying with our iPhones anyway. But that's not true of everybody.

[A]

No, it's not at all. I was listening to one of the many newsy podcasts I listened to the other day, and they were talking about. About that same thing that just basically like, they're not as it related to pennies, but something else, which is that a lot of folks. Oh, you know, it was basically about the subsidies for the ACA and the fact that a lot of the people at the very. At the lowest income level who were not on Medicaid or Medicare, but were now getting free coverage through the ACA through the expanded benefits during the pandemic. That's some of the stuff that's slated to go away way. And that Republicans have said, well, they. People need to pay something for their health care. It's not fair if they don't. And it's like a lot of people don't even have bank accounts. So how are you going to go pay your a. How are you going to figure out what you're supposed to pay for the ACA based on your income? And then how are you supposed to even send that to the federal government when you don't even have a bank account?

[B]

Yeah, this is so much less important than where this conversation has gone. But while I was listening to that voicemail, I was also thinking, this is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. But it's funny to think that potentially in my lifetime, but certainly A lot of people's lifetimes, people will be having kids and they will hear phrases like a bad penny. Because I was thinking about that voicemail being about bad pennies. And like, these just idioms aren't going to make sense anymore. You know what I mean? I'm trying to think of a. And you might understand it from context the way we understand. Maybe the buggy whip analogy or something. We sort of understand it basically, even though we've never held a buggy whip. Or maybe. Maybe you have. I don't. It's okay. You were married at the time, so I'm was.

[A]

I am firmly on the no spanking side of things. And I think I've been very clear about that this episode. Sir, if anyone has a buggy whip, it's your weird ass.

[B]

You know, that is. That is fair enough. But you know what I mean? There will just be like this whole sort of part of language that'll just be like, oh, I don't know, like when we say penny far something, a.

[A]

Penny for your thoughts, or any of those things. Yeah, you're right. It's. It's. That's. I just thought I was going to be the first person who didn't get old and didn't have the things that I was used to become antiquated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just. I thought that was what happened to other people, but I was going to be part of the first generation where everything stayed exactly the same way forever. And. And I don't like it. I don't like that. I'm. It turns out, a normal human being who is seeing the exact process that every other human being has seen.

[B]

Well, and also, keep in mind, I have just discovered Myrna lore. I was. I was talking about Myrna Loy, who is. Yeah. Not the postman in the Thin Man, a movie that I'd never seen, a movie that came out again, I believe, mid-1930s. Mid to late 1930s, putting it very damn near 100 years old. Right. Like 90 years old. Ish. And I just was absolutely smitten by the woman who plays Nora. And I mentioned on the show. And then somebody else was blue skying me yesterday, just saying, oh, great, now I'm on a Myrna Loyola rabbit hole here. I'm just like, listen, I didn't expect to go in the 2025 holidays falling in love with a woman who was born in 1905 either, but we don't choose these things.

[A]

Why did you make Myrna lawyer hall pass?

[B]

My hall pass? Absolutely. Oh, man.

[A]

All right. Feels good. To laugh. All right, folks, that's gonna do it for our broadcast week. Thank you so much for spending the time with us. Hey, we'll see some of you tonight for the big TBTL holiday hoot nanny hangout 5pm West Coast. It's still not too late to get your free ticket, which is just to say invite, go to tbtl.net and click on the big button. Especially if you are my mother who texted me out of the blue yesterday. Luke, what time is the event tonight and can you send me the invite?

[B]

John, if you're listening, can you just send Luke's mom the invite, please?

[A]

I told her it is a Friday night and you can go to tbtl.net and click on the button. So that's going to be happening tonight. We will see all of you there. I've got the eggnog chilling.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

In the fridge. Do you mess with eggnog?

[B]

Yes. I'm gonna go get some nice eggnog for tonight. I think we've been drinking like whatever's in the carton, but I'm gonna go get myself a nice glass. Do you get the nice glass thing of eggnog? The glass?

[A]

Oh, you know what? Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do it up to tonight. It's going to be classy stuff.

[B]

I might something to mine. We'll see.

[A]

Hopefully a bunch of you tonight for your holiday traditions. And for the rest of you, thanks again for listening. Have a great weekend. We'll see you on Monday. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[B]

And good luck to you all. I'm coming to you. Myrna, Power out.