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- [00:02]
Luke Burbank
They said this was a magician's bar.
- [00:05]
Andrew Walsh
Mr. Gray, what you do is not magic. I understand. It's natural for a dying leaf to be frightened by the autumn wind. It's not about pulling a rabbit out of your hat anymore. It's about pulling your heart out of your chest.
- [00:23]
Luke Burbank
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
- [00:26]
Andrew Walsh
It means I take people's nightmares and turn them into dream realities. Tbtl. Alright, I have no date, a 2 liter bottle of Shasta, and my All Rush mixtape. Let's rock. After everything that's happened recently, I wanna make sure that what you're about to do isn't not well thought out. When you die, you go to heaven, you say hello to God.
- [00:54]
Luke Burbank
And when God says hello to you.
- [00:57]
Andrew Walsh
This is what you'll smell on his breath.
- [00:59]
Luke Burbank
You took too long. Now your candy's gone.
- [01:02]
Andrew Walsh
That's what happened.
- [01:04]
Luke Burbank
What have you got to say for yourselves? It's hammer time.
- [01:07]
Andrew Walsh
I don't know. How'd that sound from your end?
- [01:08]
Luke Burbank
Sounded great out here.
- [01:09]
Andrew Walsh
You want another? No, if that works for you, we're fine. All good on my end. All right, that's a take.
- [01:16]
Luke Burbank
All right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.
- [01:23]
Andrew Walsh
Holy catfish.
- [01:25]
Luke Burbank
My name is Luke Burbank. I AM your host, Mr. Unlimited, coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where good news, it's not torrentially raining. Bad news, it's frickin freezing. In a case gone cold. Could a podcast bring the heat? I am wearing a one of those hats that has like ear flaps on it. It says Wilco Snow and ice division or something. It looks like the hat that Homer is wearing when he's Mr. Plough. And while it is very stylish, it is. Also, it means that there's an extra layer of fabric between the headphones that I am wearing and my ears where I hear things. So I. I don't know if I'll be able to hear anything this episode, but I will hopefully stave off frostbite here at episode 4637 in a collector series.
- [02:25]
Andrew Walsh
Let the fun begin.
- [02:27]
Luke Burbank
Hey. One of my many systems and approaches, most of which are unsuccessful. One of them was successful this morning.
- [02:34]
Andrew Walsh
It's working. It's working.
- [02:38]
Luke Burbank
Which is pretty exciting. Also, I watched a movie last night. I saw a comedian on TikTok who said you can tell when your friends are doing dry January because they send you text messages. Like, I watched seven movies last night. Maybe that's me. Because I've been. I've been powering through the films. I watched one last night that I wasn't sure if I was gonna like or not. It involved me having a conversation, a running conversation in my mind with my friend Andrew Walsh throughout the entire film. And at the end, I did in fact enjoy the film watching experience. Also, it's a Thursday, AKA a blurs day, so we're doing some blurs day messages. Hey, speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh, you know him, he's the longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship.
- [03:22]
Andrew Walsh
In short, things are going extremely well for him.
- [03:25]
Luke Burbank
Guess what? He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
- [03:27]
Andrew Walsh
Good morning. Thanks for the reminder. The blurs is actually cooked up the blurs days last night, Luke. Usually we're. Oh, freshly cooking the blues.
- [03:35]
Luke Burbank
You made tomorrow's blurs.
- [03:37]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, that's right. Because, you know, we haven't done a blurs day in like a couple of weeks because of the odd holiday schedule. So we have.
- [03:42]
Luke Burbank
Oh, boy.
- [03:43]
Andrew Walsh
So we're gonna have a.
- [03:44]
Luke Burbank
Probably a pretty long list today.
- [03:45]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, not too. Not. I was gonna say not too bad. But what are we doing here? But what are we doing here?
- [03:50]
Luke Burbank
Not too torturous.
- [03:52]
Andrew Walsh
It's not gonna. I mean, it's not your bleeding bad. No, it's. Yeah, it's a handful. It's a healthy handful of joy that will be spreading here at. Near the end of the show. Yeah.
- [04:00]
Luke Burbank
Is. Do you want to hear about my. My system? That worked out this morning, my friend.
- [04:05]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. What happened?
- [04:08]
Luke Burbank
Well, this morning at about, I don't know, maybe 6:30 or something, I was making some coffee, I was padding around the house. I was turning on various heaters in the home environment to try to get the temperature. What do you and Veeves do overnight in your house? Because you have forced air. Right. So you have that kind of. Your vents. Right. In a big. So do you. You probably set it at a. At a temperature and it just maintains that throughout the night. So the furnace kind of kicks on and off and it keeps everything relatively stable.
- [04:40]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. And I also have it combined with a thermostat that I can sort of, you know, very. I know most thermostats do this anyway, but with the modern technology, the app and everything, we have it set to a certain schedule so that at a certain time of night it'll kick down. What I've learned, though, I don't want to even. I'm not even going to tell you what levels we keep them at. Because I will say when. Like when the machine kicks it down to a lower, you know, heating level at night when we're not awake, I'm learning that that's still higher than some people keep their thermostat during waking hours, if that makes sense. I am somebody who needs things to be warm, so I'm ashamed at how hot I keep my house.
- [05:19]
Luke Burbank
Oh, listen, there's no shame in the game. I thought you were going to. I thought you were going in the other direction.
- [05:24]
Andrew Walsh
No, like that.
- [05:25]
Luke Burbank
You guys keep it like an ice box or something. You keep it the way that my parents tend to at their house. But no, I would love to have that. That luxury, Andrew, of keeping the house too warm. I'm still trying to dial this whole thing in as I've talked endlessly on the show about. I had these mini splits put in, which are supposed to be the, you know, the wave of the future. And I guess most of the year, this big one that I've had has been fine for the last, like, I don't know, year or two that it's been installed, but it seems to have just stopped working. Meaning, like, the one that's upstairs that I had installed at great cost has never worked.
- [06:01]
Andrew Walsh
That's the one that the people came out to try to fix.
- [06:04]
Luke Burbank
The rude guys. Yeah, the rude dudes from the, like, local H vac place, Feltons.
- [06:10]
Andrew Walsh
That one never worked.
- [06:11]
Luke Burbank
That one has never worked and probably will never work. I don't know what's going on with that. Then the other one, though, the Mr. Cool it was called. That one is. That one has worked great. And it's. And I've been very happy with it. And then just the other day, it was very cold and I had been running it for a while. I was running it at like 80 or. Yeah, probably 80, which seems excessive, except for the fact that you've got to run it at 80 to kind of like get the ambient temperature up to even in the 70s. And I walked over and put my hand up against it, just blowing cold air. And I was like, you gotta be kidding me. So that one's also not working right now. So I've got this whole series of, like, these infrared heaters that are. That are attached to the various walls. Those are just kind of heating up objects in space. And then I've got a space heater, like, you know, I forget who makes. Delonghi, I believe, is the maker of the space heater that I've got out going in the Middle of the night. Because what I don't want to have is I don't want to walk out in the morning to make my coffee and have it be like, frigid in there. I don't know why that's just because, I mean, that's the case in many American homes. What's that? Hold on, let me fix my flaps.
- [07:18]
Andrew Walsh
That's. I know I was mumbling there that I just said. That's awful. Like. Yeah, that. That feeling of getting up. I mean, that's one of the reasons why I like to have this system where I can, you know, tell my thermostat to kick back on about maybe a half hour an hour before I wake up. Because it is. As just a very, very soft man. As an incredibly soft man who does not enjoy any of the. Any of the things that go along with like, say, camping or whatever. Even close to roughing it would be. I cannot get out of bed. If it's super cold and the floor is cold and you got to go.
- [07:51]
Luke Burbank
You don't need an additional disincentive.
- [07:53]
Andrew Walsh
No, you need the. You need the environment to be as welcoming as possible when you wake up.
- [07:58]
Luke Burbank
Right. And so I. Yeah, I've been running this. This heater overnight exclusively so that when I get out of bed and I step on the floor, it's not freezing and I can kind of get around and do my thing. So that's. That was what was going on at about 6:30 this morning when I hear a cacophony. And the cacophony is the garbage truck. And that is the moment, Andrew, that I realized it is Thursday morning. It is garbage morning. I had completely spaced out last night.
- [08:29]
Andrew Walsh
Wait, wait, you're not just leaving the bins. We had like an hour long.
- [08:33]
Luke Burbank
I am, Andrew.
- [08:34]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, I killed.
- [08:35]
Luke Burbank
This is my point.
- [08:39]
Andrew Walsh
Stepped all over it. Sorry.
- [08:41]
Luke Burbank
No, I'm. That's exactly what the. Like, I went from. Oh, my God, it's. Wait, it's Thursday. And then. Oh, my. And then. Wait. Actually, the can is already out there being emptied by the garbage guy. So the system. If you missed. If you missed. What was it? Maybe Tuesday show, Monday show. I. I've tried this experiment where I'm just leaving my. My garbage bin up out at this kind of like, area where the garbage cans tend to go and where there are some mailboxes. And I have to stress again, it's not. Somebody's. Like, it's not in front of somebody's house. It's. It's not in an area where somebody is Maintaining it. I'm not. I'm hopefully not making it more unsightly in the neighborhood. But the idea is it would be the same number of steps and the one as where I have it previously, which is this kind of mid range area in my driveway. And the upside would be I don't have to worry about remembering it. So I don't know if. Because it was already up there, my brain just deleted. You know, my memory said, we don't need to worry about that. Right now. We're watching Begonia. We're struggling with the reality that is Begonia.
- [09:43]
Andrew Walsh
That's not a movie that's gonna warm you up.
- [09:46]
Luke Burbank
That's not a movie that will help you remember to take the garbage out.
- [09:50]
Andrew Walsh
Or care about taking the garbage out or anything.
- [09:52]
Luke Burbank
Exactly. Hi. For one, welcome the sweet release of the end of the movie Begonia without giving too much away. But anyway, yeah, so I totally forgot that it was Wednesday night last night, and then totally forgot that it was Thursday morning this morning until I heard that garbage truck. And I immediately freaked out. And then I was immediately mildly chuffed that my system, at least for week one, functioned as, as, as intended and that the garbage can was out there and the guy dumped it in the thing. And, and, and everything, everything in the world is right here on this Thursday morning.
- [10:25]
Andrew Walsh
That's great. I'm gonna. I'm gonna admit something to you. So I just. I just did a little math on something that has nothing to do with what you're talking about. And I apologize. I was listening. I was engaged, if you'll recall. I was so engaged I even stepped on the whole point of your story. So don't accuse me of being checked out, but I just saw an email that I had sent to myself. At what time did I send this? I sent this to myself at 1:18am this morning.
- [10:48]
Luke Burbank
Okay.
- [10:49]
Andrew Walsh
The subject line was look up the latitudes of where I've lived. I think I was relatively sober when I sent this, by the way. I'd be shocked to hear. But the reason I sent it. Well, what were you going to say about by the way? Sorry.
- [11:04]
Luke Burbank
Well, not that because, you know, this came up the other day, Latitudes. And you were trying to remember. And I said the way I was always taught it was lat is fat. Latitudes run essentially like east, west. They run around the earth. And longitudes are long. They run like north and south. And then I feel like our friend Lynn. I couldn't tell if I was being. This is what you heard my brain doing. I couldn't tell if I was wrong about that and I was being corrected on blue sky or if I was being agreed with on blue sky. And now I can't find the.
- [11:37]
Andrew Walsh
I know that the post you're talking about. I'm going to be violently honest with both you and Lynn here. When I brought up attitudes, I think I was just trying to make an attitudes and latitudes joke. And so then when you started explaining it, I totally zoned out because I didn' and then when Lyn came back with even more details about what latitude and longitude mean, I didn't even really read it. Cause I was like, that was not the conversation I was having in that moment. I was just trying to make a very quick little jape before moving on. But that is not why I emailed this to myself. This is totally unrelated to that. So I'm reading Inherent Vice, as I told you, and there's a whole bunch of weird hippie characters and non hippie characters and it's a very counterculture versus culture in the late 1960s era. And anyway, so none of that really matters. But there was a line that struck me. This is somebody who is talking and I, and I just. What I do is I copied and pasted this line from the book and I put it in an email to me, this is some. I believe this is a young woman talking who says, well, actually that's where I live now. Anyway, me and my boyfriend, he's a professor at unlv and he says when Americans move any distance, they stick to lines of latitude. So, so it was fate for me. I was always supposed to head due west. And as I was falling asleep, I was like, do we always stay in our latitudes and attitudes? And I was like, you know what? And this is probably the last thought I had before falling asleep. I'm like, well, if you think about where. If you just leave LA out of it. But you think about me growing up in Cleveland, in the Cleveland area, this, then moving east out to Concord, New Hampshire, and then eventually moving west out to Seattle. That is. I'm like, what are the latitudes there? They're going to be pretty close. I looked it up just now while you were telling your story that I was completely engaged in. I would like to remind everybody.
- [13:35]
Luke Burbank
Yeah, there's no way that that could be a distraction. Looking.
- [13:37]
Andrew Walsh
I was listening. I told you, I cut off your story with information.
- [13:41]
Luke Burbank
Listen, I'm currently trying to get into premium class on Alaska Airlines flight.
- [13:45]
Andrew Walsh
See, don't even Glass house. Let's not.
- [13:48]
Luke Burbank
Yeah, let's not glass house. My.
- [13:51]
Andrew Walsh
It helps me.
- [13:52]
Luke Burbank
It's like your hex empire. Okay, it's my hex empire.
- [13:55]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [13:55]
Luke Burbank
Going around and trying to get a better seat on an Alaska Airlines flight is how my brain relaxes and is most receptive to your story.
- [14:01]
Andrew Walsh
A hex empire upon both of our houses. So anyway, but it's. But this weird line from this hippie chick from this book that I was reading last night. Cleveland, 41 degrees, 41 0.5 degrees north. Concord, 43.2 degrees north. Seattle, Washington 47.6 degrees north. Very similar latitudes like.
- [14:28]
Luke Burbank
Well, and also I would say left to right.
- [14:31]
Andrew Walsh
Left to right, not up and down.
- [14:33]
Luke Burbank
I think that's an interesting theory. And I also think that when you and you know, with all due respect and peace and love to our fine folks in Southern California, but like arguably California didn't suit you or Southern California didn't really feel like it suited you, at least based on, you know, stuff that was going on in your job, life, etc. So like when you got out of your latitude lane, it didn't go great for you and now you're back in your latitude lane and you're loving it.
- [15:04]
Andrew Walsh
I still blame my coworkers more than the latitude, but.
- [15:07]
Luke Burbank
Right. That's why I was tempering. But I'm just saying it doesn't it because she's saying people tend to stay in their latitudes.
- [15:14]
Andrew Walsh
It's like.
- [15:14]
Luke Burbank
Yeah. And if they get out of their latitude, maybe they're not as. Maybe their attitude changes. James Buffett was right about so much, Andrew.
- [15:22]
Andrew Walsh
And it's funny that this is a very LA book I'm reading a very Southern California, LA area book. Right. But yeah, the one thing that I do it is true that climate wise I'm more suited to Seattle than la. And so that's a big thing. But I do feel a little bit bad about my first, I would say year and a half, two years in LA and not having I had such a bad time there. But it really was not Los Angeles fault. It was very specific things related to my particular job and even specific things within that job. And so and it just sort of, you know, it was a very, very, it was a tough period for me. But I don't like to lay that at the feet of LA because I will say I continue to live there. Maybe I can't remember when I quit my full time job and then made TBT on my full time job. I still lived in LA doing that sort of schedule for at least half A year, if not a year, I'm not sure. And I will say, like, things felt so different. I remember, like, I had. Because I had the time to walk to the grocery store in my neighborhood and walk back because I wasn't stuck on the 10 the whole time. You know what I mean? Like, every tiny little scrap of my free time wasn't already accounted for. And so it was like, oh, okay, I could walk up, and that's when I would start walking to that gym that wasn't too far from my house. And suddenly, like, the unwalkable city I'm realizing is walkable. I have a grocery store. I have a gym. And so it really was like, once, once life allowed me to. I actually did enjoy that city. I don't say. In fact, when we left Veeves, and I thought, yeah, we'll probably come back here. This is probably where we'll end up. We don't feel like we're here.
- [16:58]
Luke Burbank
Well, your latitude theory is blowing up then. It is.
- [17:02]
Andrew Walsh
That is the one outlier. But there's an outlier in all of these things. But I will say it is kind of interesting that for the most part, where I've spent most of my life has been kind of along that same latitude. Or maybe it's longitude or longitude.
- [17:15]
Luke Burbank
It's not longitude, Andrew. That's. That's the important thing that I want to. That I want to focus on. Yeah. You know, I never thought of myself as. This is kind of related, but. But sort of not. It's. I never thought of myself as a West coast person until I moved to New York because I'd grown up on the west coast and then I'd lived in la and that was my whole experience. But I didn't. That was not in any way how I identified in terms of, I don't know, my just way of being in the world. And then I got to New York and I thought, God, I miss the West Coast. God, I miss, like, the vibe.
- [17:52]
Andrew Walsh
Again.
- [17:52]
Luke Burbank
Nothing wrong with New Yorkers. It's just an intense place to be, and it's an intense experience. And I just remember, like, after living there for a while and then, like, going home for Thanksgiving or something, or just going back to the west coast and just being like, oh, this is where I feel comfortable. Just, like walking down the street, something. What is. Again, this is not really related, but what does Hunter S. Thompson say? Something about the desert? My blood has always been too thick for the desert. Oh, I remember in fear and loathing, like, I don't know. My blood has always been too. Too thin for the east coast or too thick or too something. Because I just remember coming back to the west coast and just feeling like, spiritually, like, okay, now I'm back where this is where I'm supposed to be. Even though it's like, what does that even mean?
- [18:36]
Andrew Walsh
Right. Yeah. In fact, the more I. I mean, again, this is a throwaway line from an unreliable character in a book. You know, I'm not supposed to be putting any truth behind it. It was just when I read it, it sort of put a light bulb above my head, like, oh, yeah. But the thing is, if I actually think about that, I think people, at least here in the United States, are way more likely to be moving up and down the coasts or up and down that they're in probably, than back and forth the way I did. Because, really, not to get too much into it, but I would say that I do have more the spirit of. Well, maybe you would say Midwesterner. I guess that's it. But there's some east coast in there, too, or at least Eastern. There is something, like, I complain about the absolute lack of people's physical awareness around them here. And after I mentioned on the show recently, I got tons of emails from people who were saying, yep, I've lived elsewhere. There is something about people that are just in their own little head out here in Seattle.
- [19:32]
Luke Burbank
Seattle, yeah.
- [19:33]
Andrew Walsh
Just like.
- [19:34]
Luke Burbank
And maybe it's especially non aware of that, where they are in space.
- [19:37]
Andrew Walsh
It was after I talked about going to, like, a Costco in a different part of the country, and it was just like, oh, no, people do know how to navigate these things. It's just kind of. And now I see it everywhere, and it's driving me even more crazy. Just like, I'll just leave my grocery cart, like, right here, right in the middle of everything, while I go wander over and stare at the coffee for a while. I spent a lot of time in grocery stores.
- [19:56]
Luke Burbank
Let me ask you about that. Yeah. Because you are the resident grocery store expert on this program. This is my move. First of all, why are 80% of the grocery carts not the small one?
- [20:13]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, well, actually, I think I have an answer for that. And it's okay. Okay.
- [20:16]
Luke Burbank
Because now you and I, we don't have children. I know that's part of it. We're not shopping for a large family. Okay, I get it. But like, when I go, first of all, the Trader Joe's that I go to down in the Salmon Creek area, it's called down, kind of near Vancouver, Washington, they do not have. And you know, many a joke has been made about the footprint of a Trader Joe's and that the parking is tough and that the store itself is, you know, much smaller than kind of what we're used to in, like a typical grocery store. I know that's sort of part of their business model and whatever. I like Trader Joe's. Why in the world is every card at the Trader Joe's not a mini cart? And then why in the world is that? The Safeway that I go to, they have like three mini carts and people are fighting over them like people in the movie Road Warrior fighting over the last little can of petrol. Like, get more of those carts.
- [21:05]
Andrew Walsh
That I could not agree with you more. I have one answer that I hope is not true, or at least is not as true as I've come to believe in my head.
- [21:13]
Luke Burbank
To do with unhoused.
- [21:15]
Andrew Walsh
I think so. I just know. I was in one grocery store one time, I was like, why? And I think I finally said out loud, like, why can't I find one of the shorter double stack grocery carts? They're obviously superior. They're superior for everybody's experience as far as, like, not getting in the way. And one of the employees said, we can't keep them. Like, they just hit the streets so quickly. People just take them.
- [21:34]
Luke Burbank
Don't they have a. There's some kind of. It would be radioactivated break on something.
- [21:39]
Andrew Walsh
But that's the thing. And that's the thing where it's kind of like, I don't want to. First of all, I'm just like, straight up blaming, like, poor people here, as.
- [21:47]
Luke Burbank
You often do on this show.
- [21:48]
Andrew Walsh
I do. We need somebody to blame, Luke. And they've had it too good for too long. But. So, yeah, I don't know. But I just know in that one particular case, in that one grocery store I was at in the city, they were like, yeah, we can't hang on to those things. And so that you end up with the big ones. I hope that that's maybe an exaggerated explanation or at least it's.
- [22:07]
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
- [22:08]
Andrew Walsh
Takes up too much room in my. In my head. And it's not. It doesn't. Because. Yeah, I mean, listen, these stores have ways of locking things down, obviously. Right. Like you said, they have the magic breaks that somehow work with the. With the invisible fence around their parking lot or however those things work. I'm not a scientist, but yeah. I just feel like if they really wanted to provide us with better grocery carts, they would find a way it's just not in their interest.
- [22:32]
Luke Burbank
Or build it into the. Which they'll never do. Like, just understand that my experience will be so elevated if I can consistently get my hands on one of those, let's just say three more a month go missing. Just build that into the cost of doing business. Understand that, like, I'm going to enjoy, like, if legitimately, if there was a grocery store in my area that I knew always had a healthy supply of those smaller grocery carts, and then one that didn't, I would tend to go to the one with the. With the healthier supply of those small grocery carts. I really.
- [23:03]
Andrew Walsh
Like, I don't. I don't blame you at all. And I don't go into Trader Joe's, but I know one of the reasons I don't go into Trader Joe's is because the few times I've been in, I feel very constrained in there and it's very tight and it's a very uncomfortable experience for me. And if they're not giving you little carts, what are you doing?
- [23:19]
Luke Burbank
You would not enjoy the Trader Joe's in Salmon Creek on the Sunday before real life starts again. Which is to say, I think Sunday the 4th of January, which is when I was in there, I was coming back from Becca's. And that's, of course how you know that you do live kind of in the middle of nowhere, is when you start to plan out trips like, oh, I'm gonna be in the big city. I better go to some of the big city things that I don't have access. So I made a stop at the Trader Joe's, but it was basically like, it was the Sunday before everyone went back to school, before a lot of people started back up at work. And it was. I mean, it was ridiculous, but again. And I'm in the Trader Joe's with a full sized shopping cart. And it was just like it was. I wonder. Also, this can't be the case. I wonder if there is a certain consumer behavior related to how much capacity you have in your cart. I wonder if, like, you're pushing a big cart around if you're more likely to buy more stuff because you're filling the cart, whereas if it's smaller and it fills up faster. I wonder if there's a. If there's a psychology to this that they're also trying to kind of, you know, utilize to their advantage as the store.
- [24:31]
Andrew Walsh
But are you talking about social engineering? I was looking for the drop.
- [24:37]
Luke Burbank
How can you avoid it?
- [24:38]
Andrew Walsh
I was looking for it, but I think you might only have that audio drop. So I just.
- [24:42]
Luke Burbank
I'm the only one allowed to have it.
- [24:43]
Andrew Walsh
I think I have a. I had to do my patented imitation social engineering. What is it exactly? And how does it work?
- [24:52]
Luke Burbank
But so what I was constantly doing in the Trader Joe's because it was an. It was just a mess, was I kept trying to find places to stash my cart.
- [25:02]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [25:03]
Luke Burbank
That were not in everyone's way, but that were not like I. I couldn't. I was impossible to like, to navigate with the cart through the store. So it was this whole, like, series of, like, strategic strikes where it was like, find a place next to. What are people not buying. I don't know. Dates. Those kind of suck. Let me put this next to this big display of dates. By the way, I'm gonna make a date dessert this week. A date based. I don't like dates, generally speaking. But I'm gonna try one that Becca recommended to me and I'm going to videotape it for the hey Dummies video.
- [25:36]
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
- [25:37]
Luke Burbank
And so try to.
- [25:38]
Andrew Walsh
If anybody has extra dates that they were about to throw away, but you could use them, you would just say, save the dates.
- [25:45]
Luke Burbank
Save the.
- [25:48]
Andrew Walsh
Social engineering. This is the beginning of a social engineering attack.
- [26:00]
Luke Burbank
But because as a non date appreciator. So I was asking Becca, I've had a real sweet tooth lately. And I was like, hey, do you have any ideas on, like, sweet treats that I can make that are maybe a little less bad for me than just absolutely punishing a sleeve of Oreos? And she goes, yeah, actually, there's this thing that you can make where it involves dates and peanut butter and some. You melt some chocolate and you kind of make a little. Supposed to taste exactly like a Snickers bar. You put. You put crushed up peanuts around it as well. I do love me a Snickers bar. So I'm going to give that a try. I'm going to. I'm going to film it and then we'll all get the results when the newsletter comes out this weekend, I guess. But I would try to find something that I thought was gonna be not a popular part of the store based on my own tendencies and tastes. Then park the cart there and then go out and then get a few things and then come back to the cart. Is that. I mean, that's not rude behavior to. You're talking about people abandoning their carts.
- [26:59]
Andrew Walsh
If you're being conscientious about it. Like, I will do that sometimes, but I'm like, very conscientious. Like I'm parking this way in the corner over here. And then every now and then if I do come back to it and somebody's like kind of leaning around it to look at the jellies and jams, I'll. I always say, oh man, I'm sorry. And they're like, don't worry about it. But like I just see, I mean literally this happened at a crowded grocery store right before. I think it was maybe the day before Christmas or the day before Christmas Eve or something. Like very, very busy time for a grocery store. It was so packed in the small QFC I go to in Holman, which is already has kind of narrow aisles and stuff anyway. And some really unfortunate like load bearing beams in the middle of some aisles, which is interesting. But you know, it's a city grocery store. They're making do with the space they have. I don't give them any grief for that. But I do give people. I mean it was a very, very sweet looking woman who just took her grocery cart and like there's this area and again there's not, it's not a roomy grocery store. This is not like a suburban grocery store where you just like double wide aisles, right? She takes her grocery cart and in the area where it's the ends of the aisles up to the cash registers and there's no room for anybody to make any lines anyway. So it's already a mishigash. People are trying to walk by and shop. Other people are trying to stand there and wait for their turn to check out at the cash register. And it's just this woman just takes her cart and just drops. I didn't see her do it at first. I saw her retrieve it later. She just leaves her fully loaded cart. It was a mini one for whatever it was worth. But right in the middle of all of this chaos, she just had a thought. She's like, oh, I'm gonna go get the Fig Newtons, which is. You got me thinking about Fig Newton's now with all the date talk. Didn't occur to me there's a difference between a fig and a date. But there must be.
- [28:38]
Luke Burbank
There is figs. I'm okay ish with dates. Never been for me. Dates to me feel like. And I say this, you know, with do all due respect to what baklava and things like that. Dates feel like a thing we used to put in to sweeten things when we didn't have as good of sweet stuff.
- [28:55]
Andrew Walsh
Is that, is that what's in baklava?
- [28:57]
Luke Burbank
Is That a. I. I think it's dates.
- [28:59]
Andrew Walsh
Okay. And honey. Right? Baklavasa.
- [29:01]
Luke Burbank
Dates and honey. Again, great in the 1600s.
- [29:04]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. And great in. Really upgraded. It's a good cereal combo. Right? What you eatin Dates and honey. Anyway, here's a move that. This one was just going about our business, and I did think of our conversation. I was just like, yeah, it's just like people are just. But here's a move that I see all the time in the grocery store, and this I will just use as a psa if anybody. I think most people who do this probably just hear me right now and just think I'm annoying anyway and probably want to double down on being annoying in grocery stores. The way when somebody tells us not to talk about sports, all I want to do is talk about sports. But there's a move people do in the grocery store which is so maddening, which is especially in these narrow aisle stores. They have their cart. And then let's say you're walking, and what you want to look at is on the right side of the aisle. Okay? So you're walking down the aisle, and then you get to the jelly and jam section. We're staying there. We're parking there, folks. And so the jelly and jams are over on your right. You need to look at them for a little bit. You take your cart and you park it to the left, and then you stand next to the cart looking at the right. So between your cart and your body, you have essentially just taken up the entire aisle. How about you stay in line with your cart and let people pass? I can't tell you how many times I've just stood there. And I don't want to have to say excuse me, because you have to really watch your tone when you're just talking to a stranger who's in your way. But I'm fine saying, excuse me, can I get by here? Or whatever. But for the most part, I'll just kind of wait and see. Will they recognize that I'm here and they just don't see other people? They don't see people. I was leaving a restaurant the other day, and I was by myself because this is my personality, and people don't like to be around it. And so I'm leaving. I was sitting at the counter, and then I put on my jacket. I'm ready to leave. But then I see there's a family or like a group of about four or five people who are about to leave before me. So I remember I even specifically, I didn't want to have a weird interaction with them at the door. So I'm like, I'm gonna let these people pass. So I slowly put on my jacket. You ever do that? You do some busy work to like kind of let them pass first. But then this group of people, you know, it's a Seattle day, so it's a little bit drizzly outside or something. They're clearly not all going back to the same car. So they're saying pleasantries and goodbyes and catching up and you know how that is after a meal. This is like late afternoon, maybe early evening or whatever. So. But they're having their little chit chat, not like even on the sidewalk, but just like in the little area that is kind of somewhat covered in the area that's sort of the sidewalk, but sort of the doorway. And I let them go first, but then they just stop and they congregate there. And then I open the door and I'm just waiting for somebody to acknowledge the fact that you're just standing in the doorway. You're just having a conference in the doorway of a public place and find. And I was just kind of standing there for, I don't know, a while, until finally one person kind of took another person and said, oh, he's trying to get through there. And I wasn't pushing and I wasn't rolling my eyes. I wasn't copying any kind of an attitude. I was just like amazed at people's just head in the cloudsiness.
- [32:09]
Luke Burbank
I have a move when I reach a level of frustration with something like that where I basically start channeling Dan Levy from Schitt's Creek, where I basically go, hi, hi.
- [32:20]
Andrew Walsh
Yes, hi.
- [32:21]
Luke Burbank
And you can tell by the like, not like, hey there, or can I get by? Hi. There's other people in the world.
- [32:28]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, and we need to get by for the record. And I. And here's the deal. The listeners here, who I care way more about than the strangers I see in. In a grocery store, except for in the occasion where those two overlap, which it does happen from, from time to time. I am letting the listeners hear the ugliest side of my internal dialogue here where I honestly, in the world, I don't really think I cop that tone. I really don't. I'm usually more of a. Oh, can I get by here? Okay. Excuse me. But then in my head, I've been.
- [32:56]
Luke Burbank
With you in public very much more your mood.
- [32:58]
Andrew Walsh
There have been times, there was a time where I was leaving, I was in some sort of airport situation. I Was running late. I think I was running to grab a Uber. Maybe after my flight had land, it doesn't really matter, but, like, for me, this is a very East Coast, west coast thing. And maybe because I started taking light rail and public transpo in Boston, where you would just never do the shit people do here, which is just like, stand side by side on the escalator. That is punishable by death on the east coast and here. And so I do remember one time, not in the. Not too distant past, where there was some fella just standing on the escalator. And I'm in a bit of a hurry, not a huge hurry, but he's just. He's standing on one side and his suitcase stands on the left side next to him, just taking up the whole thing. You're just like, he's. And so I was behind him just like, hey, can I get through here? And he kind of looks, like, surprised, like somebody would talk to him. And so he moves his suitcase. And as I pass, I said, that's how it's done. And I did say that that was one time where I was just like, that's how it's done. Because I feel like in this way, I need to spread the message. Like, you need to just, like, I know you love your friend, but you don't have to stand abreast on the escalator. Let people buy.
- [34:07]
Luke Burbank
I will say, by the way, baklava does not have dates in it.
- [34:10]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, okay. I was trying to remember where the dates come in.
- [34:13]
Luke Burbank
Everybody just every. I feel like I've had, you know, meals from various kind of Middle Eastern restaurants where I feel like dates are like a big part of the. Maybe it's just in the Bible. Maybe I'm just thinking of what they talk about in the Bible. But I always feel like, as a kid, because I grew up in a weird evangelical church situation where we were trying to reenact parts of the Old Testament, I feel like people were trying to get us to eat dates and honey a lot. Like, it was a thing. And I was like, I don't think that's a thing.
- [34:38]
Andrew Walsh
I just had, you know, remember who's our. Who's our boy that we always mentioned the most? The oft mentioned author who looms so large on this show, who wrote My Year of living Biblically?
- [34:51]
Luke Burbank
Oh, A.J.
- [34:52]
Andrew Walsh
Jacobs. Yeah. Great poll. Did he eat biblically? It just occurred to me that would be a whole project.
- [34:58]
Luke Burbank
And living biblically. I think he must have eaten biblically.
- [35:00]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, I guess so. Like, if you just did A whole diet for a year where you only ate stuff that is in the Bible. In fact, I'm kind of surprised that that isn't part of the Bible.
- [35:07]
Luke Burbank
Oh, I bet you there's a corner of the Internet. Let's see, what's Liver King up to? He's probably just on the Mesopotamia diet at this point. But the. Let's see. So I wanted to clarify about baklava, but I also wanted to say, you remind me. I have a buddy, my friend. His name is Cotter, AKA the Colonel.
- [35:25]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, yeah. South of Church.
- [35:26]
Luke Burbank
And he is other than you. He is probably, in fact, maybe more so than you. He's like, one of the most deeply thoughtful people I know. Just incredibly careful about other people's experiences in the world. Just a really, really, really thoughtful person. And I remember him saying something like, again, he's slow to anger, and he. When he is out in public, he's doing everything he can to make sure that he's not blocking other people or inconveniencing other folks. Just a really good dude. And I remember once the most mad I ever saw him got was him describing someone standing in the airport looking at their flight information, but standing in the middle of the walkway.
- [36:07]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [36:08]
Luke Burbank
And he was like, this is a guy. I'd literally never seen him angry in his life. And it's like he. He was ready to homicide someone over the fact that they were standing in the walkway while looking. And this is before we all had our flight info on our phones. Right. And he was like, I just effing cannot stand that. And what I realized was there's definitely an equation of the more care that you take in the world of not blocking people and knowing about where you are in space. And this just makes sense. The more it upsets you when other people are not doing it. Because I'm somewhere in the middle, I'm not as careful as I should be about where I am in space. And therefore, I'm also not as mad about it or not. It doesn't. It doesn't bother me as much as it probably bothers you, because you must be thinking, gosh, I'm putting a lot of effort into not being this person in the world, and now someone's being that person.
- [36:59]
Andrew Walsh
I also do think. And to bring it back to this, and there's no way to really prove this. I'm not trying to create regional rivalries, but I do think that it's also because you grew up in this culture, and it just doesn't stand out to you as Much. And maybe, yeah, I'm not even, you know, maybe, maybe it's fine. I mean, it's so funny that, like, I never really thought much when I moved out here about like west coast. Like, hey, man, let's all just lay back and smoke our indica or whatever. I mean, that's kind of your vibe. That's always been your vibe.
- [37:26]
Luke Burbank
You know, me in the couch, maybe.
- [37:28]
Andrew Walsh
But generally speaking, like, I don't think in that way. But then as, as I sort of. As this came up on the show a few weeks ago and then I've been sort of ruminating on it, especially after hearing from people are like, oh, yeah, I grew up in the south and it's just like, it's so. Everybody's sort of a little flighty around here. And I'm like, wait, now that's.
- [37:43]
Luke Burbank
Hold on. In the South?
- [37:45]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody said they grew up in the south, but here people are just like the spatial awareness. They did not use the word flighty. And I don't even remember who this was. I remember somebody said, I grew up in the south and yeah, when I moved up here. It's amazing how people.
- [37:56]
Luke Burbank
Because I just don't think of the south as the model. I don't. This is not a political statement. I think of the south as being. You want to talk about people, people visiting, people just, hey, we're just fellowship in here. Like, I feel like there would have been 70 more people in that, in that doorway of that restaurant, just kind of like visiting. Because that seems to me to be so Southern. Like, no one's in a hurry.
- [38:16]
Andrew Walsh
Well, people are in a hurry. People are laid back. But I think it's very specific, the physical awareness. I do. And so I'm sort of. What's happened in this conversation is I'm starting to like, kind of conflate stereotypes. And I apologize for that because I should. If I'm trying to actually make a point, I shouldn't just let it be so slippery. Slidy. They didn't say flighty. And now I'm comparing it also to this laid back lifestyle. And you're right, things are laid back in the south. And I can't speak to it, but I do know we have a listener who grew up there who said that. Yeah, living in the Pacific Northwest is interesting how people just don't have spatial awareness of just like where they are, the space that they're taking up and potentially being in other people's. In other. Oh, I wanted to ask about Cotter, though. So what Is because I think of. I think I mentioned south of Cheese. Is he yourself? Okay, so does that mean that he grew up west coast, too?
- [39:04]
Luke Burbank
He grew up in Arizona.
- [39:06]
Andrew Walsh
Okay, interesting.
- [39:07]
Luke Burbank
But he also grew up in, like, a very, like. How do I put it? Like, his. Particularly his mom and his. He. He was. His mom remarried and his stepfather Steve was. He was really close with. As well as he was close with his father. I don't know why I need to specify these things, but the home that he grew up.
- [39:25]
Andrew Walsh
You're not on trial here. You love both.
- [39:28]
Luke Burbank
The home that he grew up in, it was, I think, mostly because of his mom. It was a very, like. I don't know how to put it. It was. They were really raised right. They were really raised with a lot of manners. Manners is a big thing in the family. And thinking about other people and just the way you are in the world, it almost felt. I guess what I'm trying to say is it almost felt like an east coast, like a Northeast kind of like. Like a Northeast family that, you know, were the. Some of the founding, you know, members of the, you know, Greenwich, Connecticut community or something. So. So that was where. So even though we grew up in Arizona, I feel like there was this. This sense of just, like, politeness and. And also just knowing, like, what kind of fork you use at a certain time and stuff. It just. It felt very. It didn't feel very Arizona. Very Arizona to me. It felt very, like, almost from the Northeast or something. But not, again, not in, like, a stuffy. These are all extremely lovely people. But just this level of thoughtfulness in the world and just really kind of making sure that you're not ruining anyone else's day due to your thoughtlessness was a very big principle handed down. And like, again, you guys have met my mom. That's not the culture I grew up in, in any way, shape or form. And I think you're probably right, Andrew. I primarily grew up in the Pacific Northwest, so there's probably a lot of stuff about this area that seems pretty normal to me, just because it's what I grew up in.
- [40:47]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, absolutely. And I'm not. And by the way, I'm not. I would never argue that people should be more like me. Like, generally speaking, like, that. That's a. I wouldn't put that curse on my worst enemy. But. So I'm not saying that you have to be uptight all the time or angry or. And I don't want to paint as, like, seriously, like, going through life, you know, that Genevieve's thing is she diagnoses literally everybody except for herself, me and maybe one other person with anhedonia. Like the. The inability to be happy. At least that's how she always defines it. I don't know if you're. Looks like maybe you're googling it as I speak, but she's just. Well, I think the problem is like this person just doesn't know how to be happy. And there are plenty of people in my life who I do. Even people that I love who do kind of have a toxicity around them all the time. And some people like just their love language. Even with. In a couple like they. It might be a couple that's in a very look, you know, successful relationship or longtime relationship, but they're. The way of talking is just sort of kind of negative all the time or like I gotta complain about the breadsticks or whatever. Like I really don't want to be that person or let you're not that think that I'm going around the world just being like, ah, you know, these people are a bunch of idiots. I really, I really try not to and I don't think I am that person. But obviously we all have our days.
- [42:02]
Luke Burbank
Sure. Yeah. No, that's a really tough energy to be around and one that I have always assiduously avoided. What you saw me. You saw on this computer connection that we're on was when you said anhedonia. I was calling back in my mind to the only other time I've heard that term. And it was our buddy Dave Ross talking about being an. He framed it as an hedonist. He said he thought he was an. An hedonist.
- [42:25]
Andrew Walsh
Oh.
- [42:25]
Luke Burbank
And his version of that. His version of that was just the way he defined it. And by the way, Genevieve's. I've now looked up the Genevieve's definition that you described as absolutely right. Anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure or interest in activities you once enjoyed. The way that Dave Ross described it to us, maybe you might have been producing at that time was because we were talking about vices and about things that like, you know, that was a very vice filled. You want to talk about inherent vice. That was a vice filled period of my life. And for some reason on the show we were talking about stuff and he was trying to come up. Maybe it was what we were giving up for Lent or something. And he said like, well, I'm just an an. I'm an anhedonist. I just don't. But what he was trying to say was like, I Don't do anything. I don't. I don't take joy from doing anything that I shouldn't or whatever. And the only thing he could come up with with giving up for Lent was bubble gum. He said, sometimes I grab a. He goes, I have one of those things, a gum in my car. One of those, like, double bubble. Like a bucket of it. Yeah. And he was like. And sometimes I'll just, like, I'll just try reaching. I'll just grab, like, a bunch of pieces of gum and chew it.
- [43:30]
Andrew Walsh
Whoa.
- [43:31]
Luke Burbank
More than one piece at the sexy, sexy Flanders.
- [43:33]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, my God.
- [43:34]
Luke Burbank
Oh. Oh, Neddy.
- [43:36]
Andrew Walsh
So I'm trying to look that up. I'm trying to figure out, is that, Is that a Ross ism? Because it's basically, we know what hedonism is. And so that makes sense. The opposite of hedonism would be, you know, not, not, not enjoying the pleasures of the world. Specifically, like, worldly pleasures and stuff. Right. So that's exactly.
- [43:53]
Luke Burbank
I think he was just basically saying, like, I'm not a person who, who, who, who drinks or gambles or carouses or does any of these kind of, you know, hedonistic things. And so it's hard for me to give up something for Lent because I have nothing. Well, I do have. Sometimes I grab three pieces of double bubble.
- [44:09]
Andrew Walsh
Well, what if.
- [44:10]
Luke Burbank
And this is like, I was probably still drunk from the casino. You know what I mean, at that. In the moment of that conversation. But he's trying to give. He's tried to commit to only pulling one piece of bubble fumes. Seriously, like, nobody light a match in the studio. Lighter down. Yeah, seriously.
- [44:40]
Andrew Walsh
Thank you, baby.
- [44:43]
Luke Burbank
As the listeners have probably figured out, Andrew, we don't work at Cairo Radio anymore. When we worked there, we would get a paycheck from. From the Mormon Church.
- [44:53]
Andrew Walsh
That's right.
- [44:54]
Luke Burbank
People's minds are blown when I describe that detail of. Of my time. Have you. Do you talk to people about that ever? Like, oh, you know, who owns that? The Mormon church.
- [45:02]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. Yeah. I haven't had that conversation in a while. You're just reminding me of an embodiment. A different embarrassing conversation I had recently. I was over at kuow, where our pal Bill Radke, and we were chatting in the green room slash break room over there. And he was talking to me about the coffee. He had some coffee decision to make. He's like, which is going to be worse if I reheat my good coffee from home or drink the fresh lesser coffee here at work or whatever? So we're talking about it. And then he starts saying. He's like, oh, yeah. Luke used to always describe the coffee as just being really terrible at Cairo. Or I can't remember. Maybe he was reminiscing about a certain way you described it. I don't recall. I don't remember anecdotes about you. It didn't involve me. But then I said to him, oh, yeah, And I start telling him about how bad the coffee is at Cairo and what it's like to work at Cairo. And then I'm like, oh, we work there together. I literally forgot that Bill worked at Cairo with us.
- [45:53]
Luke Burbank
Andrew.
- [45:54]
Andrew Walsh
He was reminiscing with me, not Cairo, about Cairo. And I was like, bill, I'm so sorry. I forgot that we were colleagues.
- [46:00]
Luke Burbank
You know what? Until you just said that to me, I had also memory holed that entire phase of life, of our life, of job life, of him working there. Oh, my God. This is not interesting to any of the listeners, but it is to me because you and I both fully. You know why? Because this is the show where I talk about people that are maybe not known quantities to the listeners way too much. Be it my friend Cotter, be it his stepdad, Steve.
- [46:29]
Andrew Walsh
I was going to say, how. How does Radke like Steve? Does he love him? And Cotter's real dad.
- [46:36]
Luke Burbank
He's more of Cotter's real dad, who he called Pops, was. Was an interesting guy because he was. First of all, he was Wilbur the Wildcat when he went to the University of Arizona. He was the mascot.
- [46:47]
Andrew Walsh
Wow.
- [46:48]
Luke Burbank
I think because he fit in the mascot outfit. I think the previous mascot had been a not particularly tall individual. And his dad was. His dad is or was like a real free spirit. And then his mom ended up getting remarried to a guy, Steve, who was a real. A much more kind of like, you know, a very solid and dependable guy, you know, like. So he had a very interesting upbringing because he was close with all of his parents, but they were all kind of spread out across the ways of being in the world. I think Radke would be more of a Steve if you're scoring at home. I am, but I just so don't associate Radke with Cairo because it's like I think of him as being. He was my absolute and total radio hero when I started at KUOW because I was the intern. So I'm like maybe 18 or 19. And there's this guy, Bill Radke, who's hosting Morning Edition at the station. He also had won the Seattle International standup comedy competition at that point, which is another thing I was of course very interested in.
- [47:49]
Andrew Walsh
So.
- [47:49]
Luke Burbank
And, and also was my friend and like kind of took me under his wing and hung out with me and it was like just, you know, everything to me at that time. I mean, he officiated my first wedding and then he moves off to la. He works for Marketplace, does all this stuff and then at some point comes back to Seattle and again is working at Cairo, but then goes back to KUOW where he once again works and has worked for years. The Cairo part is like totally lost in my memory because I just associate him so strongly with KUOW and public radio.
- [48:21]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. And you didn't even probably work with him directly unless one of you did like a crossover on the other person's show. But I mean the overlap really was minimal. And when he was working there, I was a part timer there, so I was just like filling in as a producer sometimes on his super early morning show. But he's just culturally Kuow. Exactly. That's what we're getting in here.
- [48:42]
Luke Burbank
Exactly.
- [48:43]
Andrew Walsh
Do you blame him, by the way, for your first marriage not working out?
- [48:47]
Luke Burbank
I'm. He's not blameless.
- [48:48]
Andrew Walsh
He's not blameless. He was part of it.
- [48:50]
Luke Burbank
There's a lot of blame to go around. I'll take some of it. But some of it also, yes, some of it also lies with Radke and that is, that's undeniable. The point is we don't work at Cairo anymore. We don't get paychecks from the Mormon Church. We now get paychecks from ADP by way of the two beautiful Tabiz Boys network. That I don't fully understand, but what I know is every two weeks we do get paid and it's thanks to the donors. It is this what you're listening to is 100% listener supported podcasting five days a week from folks like Katie Marie Harnish in Seattle, Washington.
- [49:25]
Andrew Walsh
Hey, thank you, Katie Marie.
- [49:26]
Luke Burbank
Thank you, Katie. Appreciate you. Thank you, Katie. Also thanks to Heather Schwampy Wilson in Carmichael, California.
- [49:36]
Andrew Walsh
Thank you.
- [49:37]
Luke Burbank
Appreciate you, Heather.
- [49:38]
Andrew Walsh
Heather. Heather gave a pronouncer on her name and said it was unfortunate. I don't think. Haha. No, it's okay.
- [49:46]
Luke Burbank
Yeah, it says good Swampy, unfortunate phonetic spelling.
- [49:49]
Andrew Walsh
Haha. I love it.
- [49:51]
Luke Burbank
Now is it possible that's not the name? Her name isn't Heather Swampy Wilson. Swampy unfortunate phonetic spelling. Haha. Of Carmichael.
- [49:58]
Andrew Walsh
I think that's actually right. I think you finally nailed it. Gotcha.
- [50:02]
Luke Burbank
Thanks also to Brian Maddox In Albany, Oregon.
- [50:06]
Andrew Walsh
Whoa.
- [50:07]
Luke Burbank
The pause there was because I was once. I feel like I might have been corrected by Ralph Nader about how you say Albany, New York.
- [50:21]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, Albany versus Albany. Albany, yeah.
- [50:24]
Luke Burbank
Albany versus Albany.
- [50:26]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. And I'm going to be an L, but you're going to catch me. Albany.
- [50:29]
Luke Burbank
So it's probably, unfortunately, Albany, Oregon. One time I was doing a. A radio story about Ralph Nader, and we were in a car. We took. We were sat in the back of a car from New York City all the way up to Albany, New York, and I interviewed him, and we hung out, and at some point, I think I said something about, yeah, we're going to Albany. And I believe he said, it's Albany.
- [50:50]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, wow.
- [50:51]
Luke Burbank
Which is on brand for him. He was like an Australian. He's both warm and direct. Hold the warm.
- [50:57]
Andrew Walsh
Yes, he was. Am I allowed to tell this story on the air? Yeah.
- [51:03]
Luke Burbank
Does it involve me?
- [51:05]
Andrew Walsh
It doesn't involve you.
- [51:07]
Luke Burbank
Well, then I'll allow it.
- [51:09]
Andrew Walsh
So, you know, our friend Rachel Bell has a podcast called you'd Last Meal, where she interviews people about what their last meal would be. It's just an excuse to, you know, it's just a loose framework to talk about.
- [51:19]
Luke Burbank
I've been on the show.
- [51:20]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, sure.
- [51:20]
Luke Burbank
And I stand by my. My. My answer, which was din tai fung soup dumplings.
- [51:26]
Andrew Walsh
Still waiting for my invite. No, actually, you know, it's so funny. We're having dinner the other night, and she said. She's like, oh, I never. Because we were talking about her. Her podcast, and then she said, you know, I've never asked you, what would your last meal be? And I said, it's so depressing to think about. Like, I. I know that you're not asking me literally. You just want to know, like, for the. But I was like, like, what?
- [51:46]
Luke Burbank
The question is, what do you like the most? It's not what do you want the last thing to pass through your lips before.
- [51:51]
Andrew Walsh
Maybe it's because I read May. Maybe as a kid, I read. Like, I just feel like maybe it was the Green Mile, maybe it was something else. But, like, I get so sad when I think about, like, any situation where you're actually, you know, literally facing the end, and it's a very specific line in the sand. And I get so racked with emotion thinking about that that I lose all appetite. And the idea of last, it's so funny. And it's like, huh, why haven't you invited me on the show? Because. But that comes back to what we're talking about. With it was Nader we were talking about, right. And I think she said that she invited him on the show and his people were like, he can come on the show and he can talk about food, but like, he will not engage at all with his last meal stuff. He is anti death penalty. And she kept saying like, okay, but it's not about the death penal. He's like, nope, you can have him on. You can talk about food, but do not ask him what his last meal will be. She's like, well, it's kind of, kind of part of the show, but we'll make it work kind of in the name. Yeah. So he's a very, like you said, very direct and very, you know, he stands, he stands very strong for the things he believes in.
- [52:52]
Luke Burbank
And I think, you know, he would not have had the impact that he had in the culture if he would have been any different. You know what I mean? Like, he is a very, he's incredibly like single minded person. Like, I don't think he, he was never married, he didn't have children. He's famously against home ownership. Like, he's just basically has only cared in his adult life about one thing, which is to improve people's lives through holding corporations accountable and companies and like, and I don't think he's, I don't think he's wrong about any of that. But like, I've probably told this story before. Before we left New York City to go to Albany, I. There was a political event and he, he must have been running for president because we were in this church in Harlem and Hillary Clinton was there and Ralph Nader was there and Hillary Clinton got up and was addressing this largely black congregation in Harlem and she was, you know, I guess if you want to be ungenerous, you could say sort of code switching in a way that was a little, I wouldn't even say it was cringe. What I was seeing was a person in Hillary Clinton who was reading the room. She was like, I'm picking up the energy in this room and I'm going to talk about politics and my campaign in a way that I think is going to be digestible to the folks in this room. And you can take that for whatever, however you want. And then Ralph Nader gets up and just immediately goes into a very specific conversation about like excise taxes or something. You know, like tariffs are now like all the rage to talk about. But imagine, you know, 20 years ago, like, he just was the worst room reader I've ever seen in my life. Because he was like, well, why wouldn't I talk about the. Why wouldn't I talk about NAFTA or whatever it was that he sees as the primary threat to the kind of American standard of living or whatever. Like, zero ability to read the room, whether he's in a church in Harlem or in the back of a car. As I'm saying Albany instead of Albany. Just that was his whole vibe. Now, back to the last mill thing really quickly. First of all, I also am not, like, excited about passing away, but I am on the other hand, really obsessed with what people order as their last meal, if they are. And by the way, I'm against the death penalty, but to the point where there are, like. I've been on, like, spreadsheets that people have put up on the Internet listing sort of what people have ordered for their last meal. And I find it to be. Not to. I don't want to be macabre or gruesome, but it's. I'm. For some reason, I'm very interested in what people go with. I have the same sort of, I guess, question you have, Andrew, which is like, I don't know how anyone have an appetite.
- [55:35]
Andrew Walsh
I wonder how many people. I. I'd be more interested in knowing stats.
- [55:39]
Luke Burbank
How much they.
- [55:39]
Andrew Walsh
How much of it is actually eaten. I think it's like your last bit of freedom, like you're allowed to choose, you know, And I don't think sky's the limit. I think that's probably not true. Right.
- [55:49]
Luke Burbank
But generally depends on the state.
- [55:51]
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
- [55:51]
Luke Burbank
In some states, you can order anything you want, but they have to be able to make it in the kitchen at the prison. So you're getting like baby back ribs and pizza and all this stuff, but you're not, like, they're not bringing it in from Tony Romas and Domino's. They're, you know, it's like, what could they make in that? That's so. I think that's also a. A layer to this. But, yeah, I think you're right. I think probably people do it as maybe their last sense of any agency in the world, but I'd be really surprised if anyone's able to actually cons.
- [56:20]
Andrew Walsh
It would.
- [56:20]
Luke Burbank
It would probably ruin my appetite.
- [56:22]
Andrew Walsh
Let's just say your last agency. What would. What would be your last agency?
- [56:27]
Luke Burbank
Let's see, my last act of agency or the last government agency.
- [56:30]
Andrew Walsh
I would eliminate the last government agency.
- [56:32]
Luke Burbank
I'd start with ice, Andrew. Be the first one that I would eliminate, particularly today of all days. Hey, also thanks to. Well, look at this. Leslie Davis is out there in Coon Rapids, Minnesota.
- [56:45]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, wow.
- [56:46]
Luke Burbank
Thinking about all of our friends in Minnesota right now and our colleague John Sklaroff, who's out there as well. I hope everyone is doing okay and staying safe and just, you know, I don't know, trying to exist within this incredible moment of brutality that we're all in in this country, but that feels most acute right now in the state of Minnesota. So I'm thinking about our friends out there, including Leslie Davis. Thanks also to Christina Mayer in Wenatchee, Washington. Don't do it, Luke. Don't do it. Actually, you know what? It's not Wenatchee. It's Cashmere. So I was gonna say, I started off today's show talking about how I don't feel like dates are as good as the modern candies that we've invented. And it made me think. When I saw Wenatchee, I started thinking of applets and cutlets.
- [57:33]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, okay. All right.
- [57:34]
Luke Burbank
But those aren't from Wenatchee. Those, I think, are from Cashmere. And those are definitely a candy that I grew up with, an alleged candy. They were a thing that older people were trying to get us, younger people believe were actually a yummy thing to eat. And they were, and they remain in my mind some of the least tasty things you could ever have.
- [57:53]
Andrew Walsh
Now, that is something. I've never had it, but I love the Washington ness of that.
- [57:58]
Luke Burbank
It's so deeply Washington.
- [58:00]
Andrew Walsh
It's so deeply Washington. I love that.
- [58:02]
Luke Burbank
But. And also deeply Washington is Christina, who's over there in Wenatchee donating to the show and keeping us going. Thanks, Christina. And then thanks to Sally Rasmussen, who's in North Bend, Washington.
- [58:13]
Andrew Walsh
Thank you.
- [58:13]
Luke Burbank
That's a damn fine cup of coffee. Cup of copy. I always get that wrong. Is it cup of coffee or is it. It's not pie. He's eating pie. Yeah.
- [58:24]
Andrew Walsh
The quote you're thinking of is coffee. Yeah.
- [58:27]
Luke Burbank
Okay. Well, that's a damn fine donor, Sally Rasmussen. And thank you to all of our supporters for making TBTL possible. We could not do this without you.
- [58:40]
Andrew Walsh
Hello and welcome to Top Story.
- [58:44]
Luke Burbank
By the way, I did watch Begonia last night. I. The argument. Not the argument. The thing I was doing in my head, Andrew, vis a vis. You was trying to. I had the memory of you saying something to me about the movie, and then I was watching the whole movie and waiting for it to become the thing that you had said to me about the movie. Almost like when you're trying to not know the Final score of a football game, but you got one accidental data point.
- [59:09]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [59:10]
Luke Burbank
You know what I mean? Like, some. Like, you look down at your phone and someone was like, holy smokes.
- [59:15]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [59:15]
Luke Burbank
And then you're like, is that a good. Holy smokes? Is that a bad Holy smokes? Yeah. And then you're watching the whole game, waiting for the moment where someone said, holy smokes.
- [59:22]
Andrew Walsh
I was watching a game recently. I must have just been a couple of minutes behind because of some streaming situation. And the only. I think it might have been one of those games where it's only you and Ders commenting on the text thread, but you don't see Durst two ships.
- [59:36]
Luke Burbank
Passing in the night.
- [59:37]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, well, he sees yours, you don't see his. So you. You both, you know, whatever. But I saw a notification, and I thought it was him saying, woo. W o o o o o. Which is because I just saw, like, the preview of it on my phone. I was like, well, something good is going to happen here. And I waited a while, and nothing really good happened. And also, it's kind of out of his character to celebrate prematurely. I'm not saying he never does, but he's really more one, as we've spoken on the show, to complain and assume the worst in every sports situation. And so I finally go back, I'm like, what was he wooing about? So I actually opened the message, and I saw that it was woo with an F on the end of it. He was complaining. He was woofing.
- [60:22]
Luke Burbank
I thought it was the scripture scratch.
- [60:24]
Andrew Walsh
I thought it was a woo, but it was a woof. And so I was like, but you're right. Like, it changed how I watched the game for totally five minutes. Right. Waiting for the woo.
- [60:33]
Luke Burbank
So when. When you and Veeves, I think, saw Begonia, which is the Yorgos Lanthamus, Lanthimos, I think Lanthimos film, we were talking about his films because there's a range of, like, kind of the weirdness factor of his movies. And like, I had said to you, I think, oh, I really liked the favorite. And you said, well, that's his most straightforward film that you had seen. And you were like, begonia is definitely not that or something like that. And so I had on some level, been kind of like, thinking, well, maybe I'll miss this movie because I don't do super great with, like, weird movies. I tend to like movies that are pretty linear and. And don't get, you know, kind of out there, I guess. But I, you know, I do. I do really, like, I Did really like the favorite. I like Emma Stone. I'm also a really big fan of the comedian Stavros Halkness, who is the copy in Begonia.
- [61:26]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, yeah, Right, right, right. Yes.
- [61:28]
Luke Burbank
Like, I just like Stavro Stavi. He's a very. He's very funny. He's very. He's on the right side of politics. You know, as far as, like, you know, there's this moment of comedy right now of bro comedy, where it's. It's. It's pretty toxic, and he's not part of that. I mean, he was on a show that. I can't say the name of that back in the day, probably was a little fast and loose with some of the language and things that they talked about. But. But overall, and in his comedy and the way he talks about the world, he is a champion for LGBTQ folks and the poor. And basically, that's kind of rare in this moment of time of a lot of these podcasters who have very popular podcasts.
- [62:06]
Andrew Walsh
I looked up the podcast. Why can't you say it? Luke Coward. That's what I yelled, by the way, when they played the really short version of the Nicole Kidman look, I remembered her name. They played a very abbreviated version of it before. I saw Burt Wonderstone last weekend. Made Genevieve laugh. I didn't shout, but I said in a regular voice, play the whole thing, you cowards. Sorry, go ahead. I didn't know this about it.
- [62:33]
Luke Burbank
Feels good in a place.
- [62:34]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, they didn't play that. They just played a very abbreviated version. By the way, I want to say I did not realize that that was. I didn't make the connection for. For a part of the movie. I was distracted because I thought that was Yorgos. I thought that.
- [62:46]
Luke Burbank
Oh, yeah, sure. They look kind of similar.
- [62:48]
Andrew Walsh
Sword of Yorgos. Yeah, is. And Yorgos was in the. He made cameos in the last movie I saw that he made. And so I was all primed for it to be him. And because of the Greek names, I was like, oh, that's the director. And then Veeza's like, that's not the director. And then. Anyway, and I didn't realize until just now that, oh, this is the comedian that you like and who I see from time to time when I'm scrolling on social media. But I did not know until this very moment that, oh, this is Stavros, that guy that you particularly enjoy.
- [63:18]
Luke Burbank
And I kept seeing Stavros on different shows talking about being in Begonia and how basically, like, you know, because he's. He's Greek and Yorgos is Greek. And so he's like my favorite director who also happens to be a Greek guy. Like, if he calls me up and says, like, do you want to be in a movie? It's like, yes, of course. And so I had it in the back of my mind, I should check out Begonia. And then, like, last night I was just kind of like, well, I'm looking for something to watch. And it was actually streaming on Peacock, which I have for free now because of my, like, Verizon, my Xfinity phone service. For some reason, they're giving me Peacock. And so I was a little nervous because when I started it, it made me watch like, almost three minutes of commercials before the movie start. And it's a. Your movie will start after these ads. And I was like, oh, is this going to be one of those things where, like, throughout the film, every time I'm getting into the movie, it just like starts giving me one of those really, like, stilted, odd, like, you know, digital commercials that'll get punched into things. Sometimes it'll be the same commercial throughout the whole. I was like, but it didn't do that once. Once the movie was going, it did not break in for commercial, thankfully. It's also not the kind of movie.
- [64:28]
Andrew Walsh
That you want to have that happen with one thing. A lot of our services have that. I will just say the one thing that makes it a little bit better. It's a small thing, but I like it when they put the tiny little countdown clock in the top left hand corner, at least gives you five seconds to brace for it.
- [64:41]
Luke Burbank
Totally. So I'm watching the movie and I keep, like, I'm enjoying the heck out of it. Like, I mean, Jesse Plemons is incredible in it. Emma Stone is amazing. The. The cinematography of it. Like, all of. I'm just the. The other actor whose name I don't know, but who I was looking up, who is, in fact somebody who's on the autism spectrum. And this was his first movie he's in. And I thought, he's really phenomenal. I looked him up to be like, we're not. I am samming here. Are we?
- [65:06]
Andrew Walsh
Right. Yeah. You know, I didn't look that up, but I kind of had. I guess, now that you mentioned that, that would be odd.
- [65:13]
Luke Burbank
It would be pretty out of, you know, what we do now to cast somebody in that role who. Who was an actor who was not on the autism spectrum, like, pretending to be, I guess, at this point. So anyway, I thought I just was enjoying the movie. And I kept being like, andrew said that this one is weirder than Andrew texted woo. Was it woo or woof? And I'm just watching and I'm like, well, but I'm liking this. But Andrew said this one is weirder than the favorite. But is it gonna get too weird for me? I watched the whole movie going, is it gonna get too weird for me? Is it gonna get too weird for me? And no, it didn't. I thought it was phenomenal. I thought it might have been. It's definitely for me, up there with one battle after another in terms of being the. The best movie that I've seen this year. I mean, I just thought it was unbelievable. I mean, the. The tension of the film is incredible. The. The writing again, the acting. I mean, it's just an abs.
- [66:05]
Andrew Walsh
The.
- [66:06]
Luke Burbank
You know, it is. This is a movie you really don't want to spoil. But just the. The entire. The. I thought it was an incredibly well done film, and I absolutely loved it.
- [66:14]
Andrew Walsh
Well, I'm sorry that I said anything that kind of got. No, I think. No, it happens from time to time. But it was good. That weirder, though, right? I mean, it is. It is less. It is. It is a weirder movie. And it's not as weird as the one before it that I saw, which is the. The Lobster of the triptych. Or not Triptych, but the. The. The series of three short movies. It was called Kinds of Kindness.
- [66:39]
Luke Burbank
Oh, right, right, right. That one also is Emma Stone.
- [66:42]
Andrew Walsh
Yes, Emma. And it's funny because it's Emma Stone, and I'm blanking on her name. But the woman who was in the movie where Everywhere. What was the TV show where everybody disappears? It's A1. They're almost like the.
- [66:57]
Luke Burbank
The Leftovers.
- [66:57]
Andrew Walsh
The Leftovers, yeah. Not everybody, but like a third of the population just disappears. I'm. I'm blanking on the.
- [67:02]
Luke Burbank
I haven't. I didn't see the Leftovers.
- [67:04]
Andrew Walsh
Anyway, the interesting thing about Kinds of Kindness is it's three distinct plots, just three different short stories. But it stars Qualley. Yes, yes, Qualley. Yes. And I saw her in a trailer for a thing.
- [67:18]
Luke Burbank
That's Andie McDowell from Groundhog Day's Daughter, by the way.
- [67:22]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, now that you say that. I think. Yeah, I think Genevieve has told me that before, and she's showing up in a lot of things. I just saw her in a trailer for something. She's really, really good. Anyway.
- [67:31]
Luke Burbank
Yeah, she's good.
- [67:32]
Andrew Walsh
It's her. Emma Stone. Is it Joaquin Phoenix? I can't remember who the male lead is, but anyway, they. They all appear in each little story, but they're completely unrelated. Different stories and different characters. And I really, really like that one, but there's some really tough stuff in that. And one of them has some body horror stuff in it. And it's, you know. Well, the thing that really stands out for me in his movies is the way he uses music, too. Right. It's just that, like, dun dun.
- [68:00]
Luke Burbank
It'll just be like, very kind of.
- [68:01]
Andrew Walsh
Like old school, but it'll be matched with like just an exterior of a suburban house.
- [68:06]
Luke Burbank
Yeah.
- [68:07]
Andrew Walsh
But he's ratcheting up the pressure so much in the movie. And then it's like it's just over the top. Just huge orchestral music just slamming down on your head. It is. I really. I really like his vibe. I liked this movie. I mean, it made me really uncomfortable when it was trying to make me uncomfortable, especially in the. In the. I would say the first third of it, while the two of the main characters are starting to make their plans, let's put it that way. We're going to make this.
- [68:31]
Luke Burbank
That made you uncomfortable.
- [68:33]
Andrew Walsh
The things that the one friend was doing to the other friend and convincing him to do the.
- [68:39]
Luke Burbank
Well, I didn't find that settling, but I guess for me it was like the last third had a real. Almost like a horror vibe to it when one of the characters is discovering kind of a larger thing going on. And I don't watch a lot of movies that are, you know, it felt. It felt like a horror film to me in a way, and I don't watch horror films, but I was already so invested in the movie, and I would, you know, that I was like, oh, wait, am I watching a horror movie right now?
- [69:09]
Andrew Walsh
It is. It is its own thing. Now, here's what I'm gonna say, and this is gonna sound so like, I don't even. Not humble. Braggy. Braggy. Or. Here was one thing that took me out of this movie a little bit is I predicted a couple of major, major things, including the ending before it happened, because of one thing. So I want to keep this spoiler free, but I think I can say this in a coded way that you'll understand and I will be very, very careful here, listeners, but there's one really big thing that happens with a character in the basement. And I started to. Yeah, because it was very much like a scene from another very different movie from the 1980s. Right. But I was just like, oh, this is. I think we're gonna see happen here. But then the actual end, which is a very, let's just say, surprising ending. Here's why this is. It's not even really so much of a prediction, but I was gonna lean over to Genevieve and say, oh, I know what's gonna like as a joke, I was gonna say, oh, like, I can't explain. I was actually planning a joke at the end of the movie or something where I was gonna say to Vee's, so wait, that didn't happen. Then it occurred to me, I was like, oh, this is Yorgos. He's just going to do the thing I was joking about. You know what I mean? So in other words, I had a joke set up about wouldn't it be crazy if the movie ended this way and then the movie ended that way and because I was like, oh, don't make that joke. It's not funny. Because it could be a spoiler because he probably. He would do this and then he did do this. So anyway, I hope that that was confusing enough for people who haven't seen it, but clear enough to you, Luke.
- [70:41]
Luke Burbank
Is it weird, though? We're going to continue talking in very coded terms here, which is, boy, is this. Let's get back to rad key talk. Actually, another thing about Cotter's stepdad, Steve, let's drill down.
- [70:51]
Andrew Walsh
We haven't done enough about his mom.
- [70:53]
Luke Burbank
Talking about the us trying to talk about the movie Begonia without giving it away. I can't even thank God we've already thanked the donors because I hear people. It's like the showing of Marty supreme you were at. I hear people heading for the exits right now, but they're still listening because there's 800 Blurs Day messages still so that people are sticking around.
- [71:15]
Andrew Walsh
You know, people are hearing right now the sound of people canceling their donations. If you listen very closely, you can hear it in me blabbering about this.
- [71:24]
Luke Burbank
Movie sort of hush all over the world tonight. The end of the film. I don't know how to. I just really want to talk about this with you, Andrew, like on a friendship level. But I am worried about ruining the movie for people. But like the very, very end of the movie, I'm talking the last, you know, two minutes, three minutes. It's a version of events that I could see. I mean, it's. The average person would see this as a pretty big negative. Okay. Is that suffice?
- [71:59]
Andrew Walsh
I don't know that that is the.
- [72:00]
Luke Burbank
Takeaway because that's not how I felt.
- [72:02]
Andrew Walsh
I felt no I think you're. I think you felt there was how you're supposed to. I.
- [72:06]
Luke Burbank
Was I feeling the way I was.
- [72:07]
Andrew Walsh
Supposed to feel at the end of the movie?
- [72:08]
Luke Burbank
One of the.
- [72:09]
Andrew Walsh
I mean, literally the most beautiful part of the movie is the montage of still shots, you know. Yeah. Quasi still shots at the end.
- [72:15]
Luke Burbank
And I really. I really thought for myself. I started to have thoughts about where I would want to be in that ending scene.
- [72:24]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [72:24]
Luke Burbank
You know, like, what activity would I like to be engaging in the ending scene? What. You know, like, it just didn't seem real bad to me.
- [72:35]
Andrew Walsh
It seemed very, very peaceful. And it also comes back to. And again, this gets a little bit into. I'm walking the tightrope here, but I put Begonia into this bucket of movies and TV shows that I've been watching recently that seem to be kind of circling around very similar themes. And I would include Pluribus in that. And I think I listed a bunch for you the other day. I'm blanking on some other ones, but it sort of felt like there was this. Like, everything I was watching kind of was playing around with that sort of message.
- [73:06]
Luke Burbank
It's almost like, Andrew, it feels like things are not going particularly great in this country and on this planet.
- [73:14]
Andrew Walsh
Right? Exactly.
- [73:17]
Luke Burbank
There's a right way to rock and.
- [73:20]
Andrew Walsh
A wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your song.
- [73:25]
Luke Burbank
Just remember that life is number one.
- [73:30]
Andrew Walsh
You can be having so much fun.
- [73:33]
Luke Burbank
Just remember the death.
- [73:36]
Andrew Walsh
Life is much fun.
- [73:38]
Luke Burbank
You can be nothing but one.
- [73:47]
Andrew Walsh
The rumors are true. Luke got a healthy handful of joy to spread via the blursdays today. How do people send us blursdays? They email me andrewbtl.net, they put Blursday in the subject line, and then they write a short little sentence or two wishing themselves or something in their lives a happy birthday. That's what Andrea did. Andrea says. I would explain that. I'm gonna say Andrea says or Andrea says, because it could be either, and I want to respect both. She says, I would love to wish my progeny TBTL and otherwise Herschel, a very wonderful 17th birthday. We've been sharing TBTL since you were just a kindergarten kid, and now you're looking to one more year of public school, then off to college. You've been my adventure partner through many ups and downs, and I'm looking forward to seeing what adventures you make for yourself as you move into adult life. Happy blurs day, Hershel.
- [74:46]
Luke Burbank
We've got now, Andrew, because I think we just turned either 17 or 18 yesterday.
- [74:51]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [74:52]
Luke Burbank
We've talked a lot about how like, you know, there. People go through. People go through whole like life experiences, marriages, divorce, births, deaths, with this show kind of in the background. But we've now got like a gr. We've basically got a graduating class.
- [75:06]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [75:07]
Luke Burbank
You know what I mean? Like, we've got some kids who were. Who would have been like, born and now graduating high school all within the time span of tbtl.
- [75:20]
Andrew Walsh
My math is so bad. And I was doing this off air with you the other day because it's something about like, well, on the first birthday you've been around for one year and anyway, it seems very obvious, but I'm trying to think if the show started in 2008 and it's 2026 now and our anniversary was officially yesterday or the TV channel anniversary was yesterday, that would make us 18, right? That was our 18th anniversary. Or.
- [75:44]
Luke Burbank
Yeah, I don't know. I'm bad anyway. I'm the only person worse at this than you.
- [75:48]
Andrew Walsh
Here's my question. Can we vote as a podcast now? Can I cast a vote in local, state and national?
- [75:56]
Luke Burbank
We're moving to Wisconsin.
- [75:57]
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
- [75:58]
Luke Burbank
We've gotta go somewhere where our vote counts.
- [76:00]
Andrew Walsh
That's a really good point. Happy Blursday to us and happy birthday to Herschel. Deborah says Eric is celebrating the big four zero on Saturday. He's listened for over 10 years and was at the show in Philly last year with me. I'd appreciate it if you could recognize the occasion, Deborah. Occasion recognized. Happy birthday to Eric. Wow. Danny says happy first Blurs day to my twin fives, Ashley and Cameron. It's been a wild year, boys. Starting in the. How do you.
- [76:39]
Luke Burbank
Do you just say NICU or NICU people?
- [76:42]
Andrew Walsh
Nicu. I thought that it was. Yeah, starting the NICU and being passed around your whole wacky family at Easter to earning your SAG cards.
- [76:50]
Luke Burbank
What?
- [76:51]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, this is our friend Danny, the actor. Says here babies are already.
- [76:56]
Luke Burbank
He's already putting them in the family biz.
- [76:59]
Andrew Walsh
Danny says watch for a baby on an airplane in the new Meet the Parents film. Wow, Danny, you got, you got, you.
- [77:07]
Luke Burbank
Got those kids working, actually. That's so smart, dude.
- [77:10]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, you got to make them earn their kids early. Early.
- [77:13]
Luke Burbank
Get their SAG carts also. Those kids are going to be rich. Andrew, do you know, do you know what twins will go for on the open market environment?
- [77:22]
Andrew Walsh
Drown you out here with the music that's like. So explain that. Don't.
- [77:27]
Luke Burbank
That is. That's of course, because if you got twins, you can have. You can Olsen twin it. You can have two. You can have two young people portraying the same character. Therefore neither of the young people have to work too long and too hard and violate too many, you know, Hollywood labor laws. That's a friggin gold mine, dude.
- [77:46]
Andrew Walsh
And if you don't have. If you don't have them working on the same project, they can split up even just as dividends and just book more gigs and again, pay for. Dude, book more gigs. Pay for those cribs. That's what I say about children.
- [77:59]
Luke Burbank
And grow up. We gotta do the show for at least 17 more years till these kids are able to be paying TBTL listeners.
- [78:05]
Andrew Walsh
That's a really good point. Donate now and happy blurs day to Ashley and Cameron. Brad says happy belated blurs day to Anders in Norfolk from your brother in law. Have a great year ahead. Happy birthday.
- [78:21]
Luke Burbank
Now that's a ders I would never block.
- [78:23]
Andrew Walsh
No the text Champlock the ders. Mary. This is our pal Mary, by the way, the A1 rants and raves writer to the city and A1 volunteer with me over at the ravenna pop up kitchen on Sundays. Mary says happy blursday to Kelly. Keep wandering the city, taking a million pictures of the unseen fascinating parts of Seattle that no one else sees. You observe so many little things I've never noticed even though I've walked past it many times. You have talent in all kinds of ways and we love it. And we love you. Also, a mother daughter TBTL tattoo is marginally on the table.
- [79:09]
Luke Burbank
We'll talk marginally. Let's get that upgraded to probably.
- [79:13]
Andrew Walsh
Look at this. Mary and Kelly gonna be rolling into the next TBTL event. Do we know matching tattoos?
- [79:19]
Luke Burbank
Do we know what the but seriously, what the tattoo would be?
- [79:23]
Andrew Walsh
I think one of them would get half of my face and the other one would get the other half of my face.
- [79:28]
Luke Burbank
Well, about half of my face. Yeah, they put it together and it's real.
- [79:32]
Andrew Walsh
Play into this whole TPTL thing.
- [79:34]
Luke Burbank
Real situation.
- [79:36]
Andrew Walsh
Happy blursay, Kelly. Teresa in Seattle says I'm wishing myself a fabulous birthday. I'm so happy to be celebrating it with my imaginary friends, you and Luke. Here's to me having another wonderful year, selling lots of houses and traveling a lot. Happy birthday to me.
- [79:56]
Luke Burbank
Indeed.
- [79:57]
Andrew Walsh
Happy birthday. Sounds like Teresa's sitting on a lot of houses. These houses must go. I'll take one. Bet says this is our friend. Bet up in upstate New York says I am turning the big 40. Whoa. And this does say whoa. It doesn't say whoa. Oof. Like Ders. This one is a good one. This is a good one. Whoa. Also, happy 40th to our friend Bobby. Oh, that's our pal Bobby. Happy birthday, Bobby. Last year was a lot. My baby girl isn't much of a baby anymore. She's turning 16 soon. Wow. I want to thank you guys and all the tens for being there for me over more than a decade. You are all the best. For real. I have been to rehab more than once with you all by my side. I cannot express my gratitude for every single one of you. Well, thank you so much, Bet. Hope you're doing great out there. Happy blurs day. And I have not done my wordle yet today, but I will do my wordle and send it your way soon. You know, my problem with wordle is I busted out a wordle again just the other day. Luke. I've had like two or three busts.
- [81:02]
Luke Burbank
And I saw you and broadcast. Barry were like texting about this at.
- [81:06]
Andrew Walsh
Some point, and then twice over the holidays, I just plain old forgot to do it. I almost did that three times. And did I tell you that it was that day I got accidentally ham boned at the Eagles? It was like literally 1156 or something. And I realized I never finished Wordle. I'd been struggling with it earlier in the day, and so everybody gathered around me. Like, talk about a non conducive way to do wordle.
- [81:29]
Luke Burbank
I had. So this was after the Seahawks defeated the Niners.
- [81:32]
Andrew Walsh
Exactly. And this is much later that evening. And I realized I have four minutes to complete wordle. And then a bunch of people who've already done it are around me because I'm there with half the wordle text chain anyway. And then some people who don't even play wordle are behind me and, like, everybody's just like, kind of gathering around, can he do it? I ended up pulling it off then only to fail again, I think, two days ago. And here's what I think is going on, since you asked and have so much interest in this topic, is for the longest time, I used a single word to start wordle. I think you know this, right? I used the word arise. I liked it because it had an a, an I, and an E in it. And I never wavered from that word because I thought, one of these days the word is going to be a rise and I'm gonna nail it on one and it's gonna be exciting. And you know what? That happened. And it was exciting. But then after that, I was like, I'm loosey. Goosey. Now, I'm not pick a new word guy. I'm just. Every day I'll just try a different word. I'll have maybe a handful of starting words and like, mix it up. And I think it's harder to do it. It's probably more fun, but I do think harder to do it because when I had arise, I just knew what it was like kind of planning out football plays. Luke, if I can slightly make you interested in this at all, the first.
- [82:49]
Luke Burbank
50 plays were scripted.
- [82:50]
Andrew Walsh
Exactly. You're kind of like, well, I know that you just, you start to feel. You start to feel how the structure of the word is. And you're like, well, and so every day starting with a different word, maybe one with a lot of you, U's and O's or, you know, o's and U's instead of A's and I's or whatever. Like, I think I need to choose a new starting word and lock in. But I don't know that I'll ever love a word the way I love to arise.
- [83:10]
Luke Burbank
So you absolutely need to lock in. Let me just explain this from the perspective of roulette as a long time and very, very financially profitable roulette player. I think that the whole deal with the game of roulette is to not drive yourself crazy. And the easiest way to drive yourself crazy is if every time that that ball is being spun.
- [83:32]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [83:33]
Luke Burbank
You're guessing at different numbers. Because what will invariably happen is you will, you'll move it off of a number that hits and you'll be so mad at yourself. You're like, I was playing 12 for an hour and then I got a hunch and I moved it over to 16 and now it just came 12. Like, you have to, you have to lock in on what your system is, and then you have to just always do your system. And then sometimes your system will work and sometimes it won't. Because what's going to happen is if you're get. If you're starting with a different word every day, one day it's going to be a word that you had used a month or two previously and you're going to be like, inconsolable.
- [84:11]
Andrew Walsh
I've seen that happen to some of the best wordlers of my generation. For real. Ah, that's the word I sometimes start with.
- [84:17]
Luke Burbank
So you gotta just like, you can't be a rise anymore because that's, that's been, that's burned. But you got to pick a different word and you got to just commit.
- [84:23]
Andrew Walsh
The thing That I liked about using different words every day was Genevieve is so. Well, smart, I guess is the word. But strategic about this is once she knows what my starting word is, when you share the score you got, she can start reverse engineering it. So I was never able to post my score, just my score, which shows I kind of the level of. Of greens and yellows you got each line. She knew my word was a rise. So if she saw that my second letter was green, she knows that the second letter of her word should be R and she's already got a leg up on everybody. So I was always doing this thing where I had to wait for Genevieve to post hers and then I would.
- [85:03]
Luke Burbank
Well, pick a new word and don't tell her.
- [85:05]
Andrew Walsh
I can't. We made a vow. Hey, I have some more blursays to do here. But then when we're done with blursays, because we're almost done with blurzes, I have a story. I'm gonna make it very quick, but it's kind of gambling related, card related, casino related. That I want to tell you a very short story at the end of blurs days. But first we're gonna say happy. Oh, my gosh, Luke, we're out of music already. Can you believe it?
- [85:31]
Luke Burbank
That's called party horn super fail.
- [85:34]
Andrew Walsh
I think it's actually too much of.
- [85:36]
Luke Burbank
A fail because I always have to explain when I see party horn super fail, I think it's going to be kind of like a. A slight party horn that doesn't work. But this is too much of a fail. So that if I played this for you and I didn't explain it, you wouldn't even know that that was supposed to be like, I need to put in. Let's see.
- [85:54]
Andrew Walsh
Sounds like somebody farting and not trying and trying to make noise.
- [85:58]
Luke Burbank
What we really need is what I have titled party horde medium fail, which is this one.
- [86:04]
Andrew Walsh
There you go. That is.
- [86:07]
Luke Burbank
We need a little. Because when it's a super fail, we've completely lost the plot on what we're doing.
- [86:12]
Andrew Walsh
You need contemplation. You have to play more. But anyway, we do have the music back. That's good. I got a message.
- [86:17]
Luke Burbank
I'm going to party horn.
- [86:18]
Andrew Walsh
Good. Nice. Still makes me sad. Ross sends a happy, albeit slightly belated blursday to his real world cousin and TBTL daughter Stephanie. Thank you for being a kind and supportive of presence in my life. And I can't wait for another season of finding mountains to climb together with our chatty miniature hiking partner.
- [86:43]
Luke Burbank
I'm guessing that's a cat.
- [86:46]
Andrew Walsh
It must be.
- [86:47]
Luke Burbank
I just had a cat. Sound effect. I didn't have my dog. Here we go. There we go. Maybe it's a goat, Andrew.
- [86:54]
Andrew Walsh
Maybe it's just a chatty miniature goat. Finally, Ryan says My birthday is January 6, which no one used to have any association with other than the epiphany. Now, while my personal life has been okay, the world situation has taken a dark turn. So I'm just sending this to my favorite podcast to get some general positivity. Also, shout out to my five Martin, who deigns to listen to TBTL with me while we're driving around. Martin is the greatest eight year old ever. Aw.
- [87:25]
Luke Burbank
Some pretty solid five names being raised during this. We had a Herschel and we had a Martin.
- [87:30]
Andrew Walsh
I love Martin.
- [87:31]
Luke Burbank
I would definitely hire that law firm. Yes, her law offices of Herschel and Martin.
- [87:36]
Andrew Walsh
Herschel, Martin and Blurs Day. So here's my very quick story and I'm going to be especially, I guess carefully, I'm going to be a little bit withholding here about the details of this so that I can kind of reveal it at the end. Hopefully this will work out if I tell it this way. But I know that you are somebody who is very familiar with the table games in a casino or a card room. And you know me that I am not somebody who's very familiar with that. I tried to learn blackjack on my computer a long time ago and then I went to Goldie's with you and when you turned your back, some guy hollered at me for playing the wrong hand that he felt messed him up and that I've always been too scared to go back. I did have one successful time at the old blackjack table, but anyway, that was like over 10 years ago, so I've never gone back. But I'm going to Vegas with Veeves and I know that it's going to be a little bit of a more chill scene there because you're going to have a whole bunch of of dopes like me rolling in from various parts of the country learning how to play these games. I'm not super worried about it, but I did think, oh, I should download blackjack onto my phone or laptop again and just sort of play around while I'm watching Columbo or whatever. Just sort of get back into the mode. And I remembered that our friend Camaro, Kev, who you've spent, I don't know if you would argue with this description of his, of his role at places like Goldie's but he's like, I don't really know how to play poker or poker type of games. I'm uncomfortable with that stuff. But there's one, like, really easy game that I play, and you don't even. You don't have to know anything about anything. It's so simple. And I remember him telling me about that, and I thought I remembered the name of the game. And so I downloaded that to my iPad over the holidays. And so I was playing it a lot, and it was very fun. And just like, literally, like watching Casablanca and watching it. Do you say Casablanca or Casablanca? That sounded funny.
- [89:25]
Luke Burbank
Albany.
- [89:26]
Andrew Walsh
Albany. But for real. Did I say that funny? Casablanca. I think Casablanca.
- [89:31]
Luke Burbank
I think it's. I think they're interchangeable.
- [89:33]
Andrew Walsh
I was watching old films, and I'm just playing on my. And I'm tapping, and I'm learning this game. I'm like, okay, not quite as easy as you made it sound, but I mean, easy enough. And I'm playing, and I'm getting better at it, at least according to the computer. You know, I'm holding my own at this virtual table when I play these games, by the way, no real money involved. You're not playing against real people. You're just playing against a robot inside your iPad. You know, it's just. It's very, very simple stuff. I see Kamaro Kev maybe a week later, and I'm like, hey, man, I've been practicing that game that you told me about, and I got it down. Now I think I know how to play it. Like, we should go to Goldies. Maybe before I go to Vegas, we can play it. And I told him the game I've been playing. He's like, that's not. That's not my game. That's Luke's game. The game I've been playing is Pai Gow. Dude. I learned Pai Gow on my iPad. But I thought I was learning the really simple game that. Kevin.
- [90:28]
Luke Burbank
Yeah, I. Card flush game.
- [90:30]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. Which is basically just like, you match a suit basically, Right. You're just like.
- [90:34]
Luke Burbank
You want to get as many of the same suit as you can in your hand.
- [90:37]
Andrew Walsh
So that almost feels almost like goldfish or. Or go fish or something like that. Like, kind of. It's very visually easy. Like, do these shapes match sort of, right?
- [90:45]
Luke Burbank
Yes. And you don't have. There's not any decision to be made other than what your initial bet is on. High card flush. You put them up. You put the money up, and then you. And by the way, same for Pai Gow. But in high card flush, you basically put your bet down and then they give you a bunch of cards. And then when you turn them over, you're just really hoping that they're all the same suit. And ideally they're going in order. So they're going like 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Because what you really want, what really pays in that game is like a straight flush, the same suit and going sequentially in order.
- [91:15]
Andrew Walsh
But they have to be dealt that way. They have to be dealt that way. You can't arrange them. Interesting.
- [91:20]
Luke Burbank
Well, no, no, no, you can. I mean, in your hand.
- [91:22]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, you can. You are holding cards. I thought it was one of those things where they laid it on the table and it has to be dealt in order.
- [91:27]
Luke Burbank
I'd be like, it's pretty much just kind of like now. Now, see, with Pai Gow, see, you're playing a more complicated game, but Pai Gow is actually. Is not a terrible table game for the player because you mostly tie.
- [91:40]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, it also pushes. Yeah, but that's where it gets into that side bet thing. And so on the computer, it's like, it's kind of like the side bet. You can win like literally 25 to 1 if, you know, like, I don't know what would be a royal flush or something like that. I don't know the chart, but that's where I was trying to learn, like, oh, what's the betting strategy here? Because you're probably going to push most of the time with the high hand and the low hand. Is that where the phrase don't give me the high hand comes from, by the way?
- [92:08]
Luke Burbank
You know, I don't think I'd ever heard that term until you started using it on the show.
- [92:12]
Andrew Walsh
So it's like, it's an old timey word. I just heard it recently in an old movie, but they use it a lot in Miller's Crossing. Do you ever see the movie Miller's Cross? You're giving me the high hand. Who's the short, chubby guy with the mustache and he's always at 11.
- [92:26]
Luke Burbank
I. You know, I've never seen Miller's Crossing. I know it's Coen Brothers and I know that it's a very, very well respected film, but I have not seen it.
- [92:35]
Andrew Walsh
Let me just see if I can find this scene. The guy screaming, you're giving me the high hand. Oh, this is gonna be on yarn. It's not gonna work. It never really works. Anyway, point is, I now have a. I wouldn't say I'm good at it. Let's see. Dude, you give me any audio here, but at least I have a working understanding of how that game is played. Now, Pai Gow, your game, Pai Gow is.
- [92:56]
Luke Burbank
Well, I've got a lot of games, Andrew, but Pai Gow, you know, our friend Toon is loves Pai Gow and I think that that's a great game for you to be into because also nothing that you do will impact what's happening with the cards for anyone else. So there's zero chance of you getting yelled at or hollered at in Pai Gow. And honestly, if you get on a hot streak, I would say the strategy with Pai Gow is to come up with an amount of side bet that you feel comfortable with, knowing that you're likely. I mean, you're going to lose most of those side bets, but then every once in a while they'll sort of shape up and you'll win much more money on the side bet than you would just on the regular. I think the way our friend Tune plays is she doesn't mess with the side bets very much because again, the side bets almost they're losing like 90% of the time. She just is strategic about when she ups her main bet. So if she feels like the, you know, she's in a like, so she's just. Because again, the thing with Pai Gow is like usually the way you win in Pai Gow is your, your high hand and your low hand are better than the high hand and low hand of the dealer. But what typically happens is the dealer will have a better high hand than you, but you'll have a better low hand or vice versa, it's. You just end up having a tie most of the time. And so if you can kind of just guess right and start upping your bet at a time when you're starting to actually just get a number of good hands in a row, you can build up a pretty significant stack and the risk is somewhat low because there's. Even if your high hand isn't great, your low hand could kind of save you or vice versa. The one that you should really get into if you want to spend some quality time with some older Asian grandmothers, as I love to, is baccarat. Baccarat is a really interesting one. That one is, is. It's basically sort of like war. The goal is to get to the number eight or nine and all you do is you just. There's one. One set of cards is for the Banker and one set of cards is for the dealer or the player rather, so banker and player. And all you're doing is trying to guess which one of those sets of cards is going to get to the number 9 first or closest to it. And then there's these other things where like all face cards are actually zeros and stuff. But once you learn the kind of like the math of it, baccarat is the game that is actually, if you play it right, you can have, you can keep your money for a long time because it just tends to be if you don't get caught up in the side bets, which is again, where you can make a lot of money, but where you can also lose a lot of money. Baccarat is another fun one. And the same thing with baccarat, you're not impacting anyone else's hand ever. So no one's going to get mad at you about how you're playing your baccarat.
- [95:31]
Andrew Walsh
Right.
- [95:31]
Luke Burbank
In fact, blackjack is really the only game where what you're doing has an impact on what the other players are getting. So.
- [95:39]
Andrew Walsh
Well, well, except for poker, which is.
- [95:43]
Luke Burbank
But I just mean as far as table games, I guess. Yeah, that's table games. Most of them are like, you get your cards and you do what you're going to do with your cards. Like if you play three card poker, which is another game that I love. Terrible odds, but like, really fun. There's another one called Caribbean Stud that you might like. Like the fun thing about Caribbean, these are all games that you'll see in Vegas. Caribbean Stud is, is fun because what happens is you put three bets out and then you get two cards and then you get to decide if you like your cards. You can leave your bets out, but you can actually pull two of your three bets back if you don't like your chances. And so what's really fun about a game like that is if your first two cards are like a. What's called a made hand. In other words, if you already have, if you've already got a winner in your hand, then you just can just chill for the rest of the round and you know that you're going to make all this money. If your cards aren't good, you can pull back two thirds of your bet. So you have this feeling, it's like sort of an illusion, but you have this feeling of control about, like, oh, I don't have to have all my money out there if I have lousy cards, but I can leave all my money out there if I've got good cards.
- [96:44]
Andrew Walsh
That must be what we're doing, because Genevieve signed us up for something called the Caribbean Stud Comedy Hour, and I wasn't sure what that is. So that. That must be what we're doing, I'm guessing.
- [96:53]
Luke Burbank
I want to say one last thing. I know you've already glazed over on this, but if you're doing blackjack, if you're playing blackjack in Vegas, if you were Genevieve Arc, try to make sure that you found a table that pays three to two and not six to five. And what that means is all the tables in Vegas used to be three to two. And what that meant is if you bet $10 on a hand of blackjack and you get a blackjack, right, you get an ace and a ten card in your hand, you win three to two. So your $10 bet, you get paid $15.
- [97:23]
Andrew Walsh
Okay.
- [97:24]
Luke Burbank
On your $10 bet, that used to be standard in Vegas. It's now harder and harder to find. And they are trying to do these six to five tables, which means if you bet $10, you win 12.50. Yeah, I think instead of winning 15. So. And that. That's. And then the other thing, I don't think you'll play this. But the thing to really avoid if you decide to mess with roulette, do not play the triple zero roulette. Triple zero roulette is just manifestly worse for the players because basically, the deal with roulette is like, you have 35 numbered spots on the board, and then you have. In the European style of roulette, you have the numbers on the board, and then you have a green spot. And what that means is if you're betting black or red, you get paid. You get. You have a 50, 50 chance of winning black or red. Except you actually don't, because there's this one spot that's not black or red. It's the green SP spot. So if you put $10 on black and it hits, you should, by theory, get 35. You should get 37 to 1 on that. Or, sorry, you should get. You should get. Basically, you have. You should have a 50, 50 chance of winning. But with these triple zero roulette wheels, what they basically have are now three spots, these three green spots, zero, double zero, and triple zero, which you don't get paid for if you're betting on. On black or red. And also if you're betting on a number, you're not getting paid for those pointers. If you see three zeros on a.
- [98:49]
Andrew Walsh
Roulette wheel run, just avoid It. But the.
- [98:52]
Luke Burbank
Just avoid it at all cost.
- [98:53]
Andrew Walsh
The attraction is people will want to bet those greens.
- [98:56]
Luke Burbank
And then the attraction is people just don't know. It's just a straight up hustle. It is just legitimately, there's no advantage to it because. Sorry, I know I'm getting like so in the weeds here, but what if.
- [99:06]
Andrew Walsh
You bet on one of those rare greens?
- [99:08]
Luke Burbank
Yes, but here's the thing.
- [99:10]
Andrew Walsh
Thing.
- [99:10]
Luke Burbank
You don't win. So imagine this. There's 35 numbered spots.
- [99:14]
Andrew Walsh
Is that what it is?
- [99:15]
Luke Burbank
Is it? I think there's. I think it goes up to 35, like 1 through 35 on a roulette board. Right. Then let's say that there's a zero that is green, a double zero that is green, and now a triple zero that is green. That's 38 potential spots. Right. So that's 38 slots on the roulette wheel that the ball could go in. Now, let's say you put your money on the number seven and it hits the number seven. You don't win 38 to one, you win 35 to one. In other words, there's three spots.
- [99:48]
Andrew Walsh
They've made it harder without making it any.
- [99:50]
Luke Burbank
They've made it. Exactly. They've made. They've made. There are more things that can go wrong for you. And you do not win an amount that is commensurate to that when you win. So, yes, you could bet on that third, that triple zero. You could put your money on that spot. But the thing is, there's 38 things that can happen, but you don't get paid 38 to 1, you get paid 35 to 1. So.
- [100:11]
Andrew Walsh
And you're not just betting on the color in that case, in the way that you can. Well, you could red or black.
- [100:16]
Luke Burbank
But see, that's another way you get screwed because you could bet on red or black and on red or black.
- [100:21]
Andrew Walsh
Green.
- [100:22]
Luke Burbank
Excuse me? Red or green or. No, green, not a color.
- [100:26]
Andrew Walsh
Oh, that's what I. That's what I was asking. That's what I was misunderstood. Misunderstanding. I thought you were saying there was a time where you could bet directly on the number or just say, I'm betting black or I'm betting red and I thought they were now introducing. Or you can bet on green, but you only have a 3 out of 38 chance of.
- [100:41]
Luke Burbank
Green is not a color you can bet on. But what it means is if you're thinking about. Okay, so you're betting red or black. You put $10 on black. Normally if it comes around, it lands in black, they give you 10 more dollars. So you're taking it. It. Because it's kind of seen as effectively a 50, 50 bet. If 50% of the numbers are red and 50% of the numbers are black, and you put your money on black and it comes in black, you get that bet back, you know? But now there's this thing happening, which is that green zero, which is not red or black, and it's somewhere the ball can go in the wheel. And then at some point, Vegas was like, well, let's add another zero. So that was like a double zero zero. That's, again, another slot that the ball can go in that is neither red nor black. And now they're adding a third green, a triple zero, a third green slot that the ball can go in that you are not. That is not red or black, and you will not get paid on your red or your black bet.
- [101:37]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah, it's less and less.
- [101:38]
Luke Burbank
You don't win more.
- [101:39]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [101:40]
Luke Burbank
You know, so it's more risk and. And no difference in the reward. So anyway, I don't think that they are going to probably play roulette, but. But if you see one with. With a triple zero, get out of there.
- [101:48]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah. I'm not even sure how much I'll actually play. I mean, it's like, I'm just. I'm just.
- [101:53]
Luke Burbank
Is it too late for me to come with you guys?
- [101:55]
Andrew Walsh
You want to.
- [101:56]
Luke Burbank
You're just walking through a casino. I'm just. You just see me sitting.
- [101:59]
Andrew Walsh
Yeah.
- [102:00]
Luke Burbank
At a pai Gow table with me and a bunch of Chinese grandmothers.
- [102:03]
Andrew Walsh
I'm wondering if I'm even going on this trip anymore, to be honest with you. It's maybe you and Veeves, but. Happy anniversary. But I. I don't know. I'm just. We're not there for very long, for starters. And I know that we have some nice dinners planned. I know that we have that comedy show planned. And we're kind of in. And, you know, I'm sure there will be a night, and I'm just looking forward to, like, kind of wandering around the casinos and just drinking it all in, you know, I mean, that's.
- [102:23]
Luke Burbank
Yes.
- [102:24]
Andrew Walsh
The one weird thing about me is, you know, I have some willpower issues, but luckily, gambling is not a big one for me. I'm not totally adverse to it, like, maybe I used to be or whatever. As long as I'm. I'm adverse to not knowing. I don't want to look like a fool, but I don't care. I don't have to worry about if I put down 20 bucks here and I lose a maybe that's unrealistic. 50 bucks, 100 bucks, whatever it is. I'm. I don't worry that I'm going to be some guy who's like, I got to scratch that back. You know what I mean? Like, it's just going to be like, well, I had a certain amount of money. I'm going to blow it, have some fun, have some gin and tonics or whatever, and then. And have a good time. So I don't even know how much I'll actually be engaging with this stuff, especially the stuff that involves other human beings as opposed to a video poker or what have you. But I should definitely be prepared.
- [103:08]
Luke Burbank
I'm not sure where you all are staying, but definitely. And I'm sure this is in the plans. But get down to kind of, you know, what they call, like, old Vegas, too, because first of all, it's just kind of fun and weird and it also, the. If you were going to do a table game, the limits are so much lower. It's just, you know, it's a. It's a more. In my experience, it's a fun, quirky kind of side of Vegas that is very much been pushed out up on the main strip now. You know, like all the. I consider them the newer casinos, even though they're all probably 20 years old themselves. But the. The fancy part of the Strip, it's just. Yeah, it's just. It's so expensive. The tables are so expensive, and it's kind of become very, I don't know, sanitized in a way that, like, you go down to the older part of Vegas and walk around, you know, on Fremont street and kind of go in some of those darker, danker casinos. I think you'll. You'll have a bunch of fun and your money will go further.
- [103:59]
Andrew Walsh
Nice. Nice. All right, we'll have some reports when.
- [104:03]
Luke Burbank
I get back next week.
- [104:04]
Andrew Walsh
Midweek. Next week. Week, yeah.
- [104:06]
Luke Burbank
All right. Okay. That's going to do it for today's episode of the program, but we're going to be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio, a big Friday show for you, so please tune in for that if you can. In the meantime, everybody have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Keep your flaps down and your head warm, and please remember, no mountain too tall.
- [104:26]
Andrew Walsh
And good luck to all. My friend is a blackjack dealer, and on his forearm he has a tattoo of an ace and a jack.
- [104:38]
Luke Burbank
You see, I'm a blackjack player.
- [104:39]
Andrew Walsh
On my forearm I'm going to get a Tattoo of a 10 and a.
- [104:44]
Luke Burbank
2, and then maybe later a king power out.