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- [00:04]
A
My husband and his friends love to watch the big game, but all their cheering and shouting can make them pretty hungry. That's why I love Totino's pizza rolls, the only game time snack that satisfies my hungry Guy.
- [00:24]
B
Go, go, go, go.
- [00:27]
A
And Totino's pizza rolls aren't just delicious, they're simply.
- [00:33]
B
Go, go, go, go, go. Thumbs down.
- [00:36]
A
Wow, there really is a lot happening fast in this big game. So this Super Bowl.
- [00:43]
C
Ah.
- [00:43]
B
Fumble.
- [00:44]
A
Why not treat your hungry guys to the delicious taste of Totino? Is there anything like my hungry Guy? They'll love these cheesy bites more than their favorite team. Guys, the Totinos. Hope I'm not interrupting the big game. There's nothing on the tv. The screen is completely black.
- [01:18]
B
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
- [01:20]
C
Touchdown.
- [01:23]
A
Stephen, what's going on? What have you guys been shouting at this whole time?
- [01:28]
B
No, no, no.
- [01:37]
A
Okay, ha ha, very funny, Steven. Now cut it out.
- [01:41]
B
Go, go, go, go, go.
- [01:43]
C
Touchdown.
- [01:45]
A
Why are you doing this? Brittany, get in the car.
- [01:50]
B
No, no, no, no, no.
- [01:52]
C
Oh. Fumble.
- [01:54]
A
What's happening to my husband?
- [02:13]
D
You know you rock when you roll with the Seahawks. Marshawn Lynch, Beast Mo with his dreadlocks, rolls and passes the ball to the end zone. Touchdown. You know we're gonna get the crown in the Super Bowl 2014. We get the ring to bling. Listen to the crowd sing. Seahawks, Seahawks, Seahawks. We block that offense. To say we'll lose is such an offense and nonsense. We got the best defense. Being the other comes with the expense of the act of being sacked. I hope the Broncos have enough time to react to the level of game the Hawks are bringing that evening. A Super Bowl Sunday. Cause they're gonna go all the way for the win, starting when the game begins, all the way to the end of the game. And to go down in fame as the super bowl champions of this year, this team should be feared. You better saddle up when you roll with Seattle, Bronco. Seem like some old cavalry.
- [02:59]
B
All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, coming to you on this blessed Monday from Los Angeles, California, where the sun is shining and the world is happy. Well, at least the world that I tend to travel in, because the Seattle Seahawks managed to win the super bowl yesterday. And I, for one, am pretty excited about it. I'm also pretty excited that the Best Buy in Culver City was open this morning when I landed, because I did Something I never do. I forgot my audio equipment back in Portland this morning and so I had to go to the Best Buy at the Westfield Mall and buy this little temporary microphone that I am using right now. That means I don't have any audio drops to play for the next couple of shows. But we're gonna get through it together here on episode 4659. We're gonna get through it with the help of this guy. He's the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is Andrew Wa. And he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
- [04:10]
C
Good morning, Luke. Not to be cliche on this Monday after the super bowl, but may I begin with the observation that tissue boxes have gotten a lot worse in recent years? Have you noticed this? Is it just me?
- [04:25]
B
I mean, you're doing the exact same thing every other morning radio show is doing the day after the super bowl, which is opening with a conversation about tissue boxes. Yeah, we talked about this.
- [04:34]
C
I know, I'm sorry. It is so embarrassing.
- [04:37]
B
It's literally on the nose, Andrew. Or sometimes in the nose.
- [04:41]
C
That actually is a conversation I want to have at some point and something did just happen that reminded me to bring it up. But obviously, if you insist, we can hold that hacky conversation for another day.
- [04:54]
B
Well, let's just take a moment with it though. What is going on with tissue boxes?
- [04:57]
C
Well, let me. Can I ask you, what is your relationship with tissue boxes? Like, do you have a lot of them? You don't use tissue. Do you use hankies?
- [05:06]
B
Yes. No. I think that the idea of hankies is so upsetting to me. I mean, I know you wash them and stuff, but there's a period of time between when a hanky has been used and when it's being washed. And that period of time is, again, it's troubling for me to even consider. So here's what I do. I don't have. You're a kind of a power user of tissues. And so I think you think about them, you buy them, you have opinions on the current box technology. I just usually have some fast food napkins. I've got some Taco Time napkins stuff into the door of my car.
- [05:45]
C
Yes, yes, I know that move.
- [05:47]
B
And that's pretty much what I don't. I don't spend any money on, on a product that is specifically designed for me to blow my nose into. I just figure I'll call it a loss leader for taco time.
- [05:58]
C
Well, your observant listeners Might have noticed that on Thursday's show, while I was recording with you from the college campus of the of Washington, I was not using traditional Kleenex tissues. I was using a bunch of Chipotle napkins that I still had in my pocket from the day before. So I.
- [06:16]
B
Which, by the way, don't work particularly well like napkins. In fact, this happened to me on the flight down here today. I had a napkin or, you know, like. Yeah, I guess it's a napkin they gave me. And my nose was a little runny and I went to wipe it and it wasn't a very pleasant experience because that's not what they're really designed for.
- [06:31]
C
No. And we grew up with tissue boxes that were either. They were like kind of the puffs kind, but they were like a big brick. Right. They were like a brick that was laying on its side. And then either the puffs kind, you would pull a big wedge of a cardboard wedge out of it, sort of. And that was the opening. And you could sort of see the cross section of tissues. And again, happy Super Bowl Monday, everybody. And that worked pretty well. As an adult myself, I didn't have that puffs money. So I went from, by the way.
- [06:57]
B
This conversation may be relevant to Drake May.
- [07:01]
C
That is true. I'm not trying to troll.
- [07:03]
B
No, I'm not trying to troll Pat's fans either. I really am not. Yeah, I had. I had a friend of mine who's a Pat's fan text me today and say, don't gloat. I said good morning to you too.
- [07:13]
C
Is this somebody that you're in touch with on the somewhat rig or somebody you haven't heard from in a long time?
- [07:18]
B
It's somebody I know from LA who I have. Who I don't have a super regular contact with, but it's one of those things where they're a Pats fan, I'm a Seahawks fan. So when this sort of thing happens, it. But it was. It was a. It was a. It was a weird. Not a weird, but it was like. I wasn't planning on gloating, but now I might have to. Just a little bit. Because you opened with a don't gloat instead of a. And what I said was, how about congratulations on your team winning the super bowl, but that's just not the Patriot way, Andrew.
- [07:44]
C
No, no, it is not. I was behind a car before the super bowl on Sunday. It was. I was actually sitting at a stoplight. You know it well, Luke. I was on Meridian about taking about to take A left onto North Gateway. There is a Shell gas station right there to your left. You are Kidd corner. I love the phrase kitty corner. You are kitty corner from that 7, 11 and teriyaki joint, little, like, shopping area. And the car in front of me, I noticed. So to my left in the gas station parking lot is a big tent. And they're selling all kinds of. It's a big tent. They're selling all kinds of, like, Seahawks garb. And by the way, not one Darnold jersey, like, nothing but JSN jerseys at this, like, kind of bootleg stand. And the car in front of me was literally a Patriot. And I had a thought. You're going to drive that on Super.
- [08:34]
B
Bowl A Jeep Patriot?
- [08:35]
C
You're going to. Is that a Jeep in my town? Yeah.
- [08:39]
B
That's elite level trolling. I was shocked by the way. We'll get back to tissue boxes.
- [08:43]
C
Yeah, I do need to finish it now that I've started.
- [08:46]
B
I was shocked at how many people, I mean, pleasantly shocked at how many people I saw wearing Seahawks gear. Now, granted, I was flying from Portland, which is kind of close to Seattle, but I saw so many people in full Seahawks gear on the airplane and then in LAX this morning, there was just a lot of people in Seahawks gear. And, you know the last time we won the super bowl, well, it was a long time ago, and it was against the Broncos, but I was just living in Seattle, and so I didn't have this kind of unique experience of, like, being out in the world and in fact, in a place I don't even live the next morning and kind of feeling this excitement. I got into the Uber and he was listening to the Wave. That's the radio station. And. And she was talking about the Seahawks and congratulations, they beat the Pats. It all felt like slightly surreal to me to have the whole nation forced to acknowledge that the Seattle Seahawks are, for right now, the best team in football.
- [09:38]
C
I'm having sort of the opposite feeling because this is the first time that I've been in Seattle for a Seattle Super Bowl.
- [09:46]
B
You were down here last time.
- [09:47]
C
I was in LA for both the 2013 win and that heartbreaking 2014 loss. So I'm sort of, like, excited. Like, I. I've been harboring some thoughts that I'm sure I will dismiss handily. But, like, could I go to the parade on Wednesday? Should I. Would that be good content? Should I report live? We'll talk more about that in a second, but we got to start where people want us to start. Luke Tissue Boxes, Tissue boxes. So when I was growing up, you had puffs and they were kind of in a bigger box, but like a brick on its side, if you can picture that. But then also the standard were like Kleenex boxes that were like kind of that same shape but maybe shallower and the tissues stuck out the top. Right. And you have that folding technology. You pull like a.
- [10:25]
B
Like a kind of a rectangle or something.
- [10:27]
C
Yeah. And every time you pull one, another one, another one pops out right after. In fact, the technology got so sweet that at some point they started coloring the last 10 to 20 tissues in the box to give you a heads up. That's. The tissue box is running low. Very smart, very good in marketing and also handy as a user. Now I feel like the standard is. And this is my question, and this is what I want people to call in on. We're taking calls live 206414 tbtl tbtl when I say live, I mean you will get the voicemail machine. But weigh in. Now we get the cubes. And I am just now realizing something as I'm looking at this box I'm holding. So we now get the cubes where the tissues are folded up differently inside. You know, it's like these are the types of tissues that might be on the back of your aunt's toilet. Maybe you might build a, like a tissue cozy for it or something. You would knit something like that. You know what I'm saying?
- [11:22]
B
I made one of those, by the way, in grade school. Yeah. That you get like, you get like these. It's a little like a grid, a plastic grid. And then you use yarn and a very, very dull needle. And you. And you loop the yarn through the grid. And then you connect up four more and then a bottom and then a top. And it's a tissue thing.
- [11:40]
C
Is it like. Is that crocheting?
- [11:42]
B
I don't think it's crocheting because I think crocheting is when you're tying a specific kind of knot.
- [11:46]
C
Oh, okay. Yeah.
- [11:48]
B
But it was. We would make all of this just absolute crap.
- [11:53]
C
Yeah.
- [11:53]
B
And then we would sell it to poor, unsuspecting parents. Actually, I believe they suspected that this was total crap.
- [12:00]
C
Poor, suspecting parents.
- [12:02]
B
Poor suspecting parents who were strong armed into buying this crapola so that we could have money to go to Camp Casey. It was the end of the year, big reward. We would go to Camp Casey and. And to help pay for it, we would make all this stuff on Fridays during crafts. And then we'd have a Big bazaar. And we would sell it all again to our parents.
- [12:22]
C
Yeah. People who are forced to buy it.
- [12:24]
B
People who are forced. People who are very suspected.
- [12:26]
C
Like insurance. Anyway. These cube tissue boxes, right?
- [12:33]
B
Yeah.
- [12:34]
C
You pull the tissues out the top. And that technology is still supposed to work where it feeds another tissue into the chute. Right. And it does for a while. But what I've been noticing, and it's been a slow burn on me for years until I'm finally speaking up about it, I'm realizing about, I don't know, a quarter of the way into the box, it just stops feeding the next one. It's like they're folding up the tissues differently inside. I've almost accidentally thrown away the bottom half of tissue boxes because it's not feeding the next one through the hole. And you think it's empty, but it's like, no, you have to, like, dig in there and reconstruct it again and feed another one through. And then it's going to happen again in another week or so. And I am now just realizing, because I don't. You said that I buy the tissues in the house. Or you alluded to that or something, or you implied that I don't. Genevieve does. It's one of her big Costco purchases. And I'm wondering if this. Because I'm looking at the bottom of. And I do not on this.
- [13:31]
B
You're not a Costco man.
- [13:32]
C
The holiest of days for the Pacific Northwest. I am not going to go into one of. I'm not going to lean in on one of its favorite brands. But I do notice these are Kirkland signature facial tissues. And I am wondering if there's a difference between the Kirkland brand and the original Kitchen Kleenex brand as far as quality control all the way down when it comes to folding these tissues.
- [13:53]
B
Yeah, they need. They need to step up their folding game. It sounds like they have some in. In tissue sort of issues where. Where it becomes detached. Is it possible that this. They're doing this in some way to save the whales?
- [14:08]
C
They're going to claim that. It's like, well, we're going to. We're putting a governor on your usage.
- [14:13]
B
Yeah. Just something where they're like, you know, we take the environment very seriously, and that's why we're making your experience as a consumer worse. And we haven't figured out how it's related to that yet, but we're going to use that as an excuse. And also we may. Are we still throwing things on the pandemic?
- [14:29]
C
Yes.
- [14:29]
B
Are we still blaming the pandemic for things that just are manifestly worse than they used to be.
- [14:34]
C
Well, I was signing up for something the other day, which I've been wanting to talk to you about. We have plenty of time to talk about it. We won't get sidelined with it now because it's still, like, over a month away. But I was. I was signing me and Genevieve and a group of friends up for an escape room adventure for Genevieve's birthday. And I noticed that when you get to, like, the checkout page is still telling you what the. What the. COVID 19, the. The. The novel coronavirus rules are and about masking and stuff, and they basically said, you know, it's just boilerplate now that says, you know, it's still. We still recommend it or something. But I don't think anybody. I don't know how many websites still know that this is on some of their checkout pages.
- [15:15]
B
Totally. Yeah. It's probably just because they haven't checked out of their own website. They haven't rented out their own escape room in a while. And so how would they know unless you tell them, Boy, we could do a whole show on the fact that you are going to an escape room.
- [15:29]
C
We will. We have time, though, maybe.
- [15:31]
B
As we get closer to that, let's talk a little bit about our experience yesterday and the watching of the game. Did you end up at the Eagles? Was that the. The. The place where you landed?
- [15:41]
C
Yeah, I did. And I gotta say, I'm not super proud of myself. When I got there, I groused to Genevieve and Khmerrakev both separately, and I regret this. I woke up regretting this kind of saying a little bit like, I should have stayed home. Because when we showed up at the Eagles, we were watching up in that upstairs area that, you know, you've watched the game with us up there, too. So the TV is, like, projected, or the program is, like, projected on a big screen, you know, a projector that hangs from the ceiling and the sound up. Not great. And I knew it wouldn't be. There's something where it's like, they also have TVs down in the little bar area. But if you have both sound systems on at the same time, there's a slight delay. I don't know if you've experienced this, so it becomes very echoey and strange. So you have to, like, turn off the sound in the big room where we're watching on the projector, and then blast the audio from the other room. And so I was really concerned about, number one, not being able to follow the commercials, which are really important because Vivs and I are going to do an epically long. I'm sure after these messages today about the super bowl commercials. And usually I would be at home taking, you know, notes and, you know, watching with my ear to every detail on these commercials. And I'm like, this time I'm just gonna have to do my research later because it's just. I'm not gonna be able to hear these damn things. But also, I like football, but I'm not that smart about football. I like the TV product, Even the worst NFL TV product. I like it. I like hearing what the announcers have to say. I like them explaining things to me. I like sometimes them telling me how to feel. And I was sitting there and the projector was having issues when we showed up. It was. It had these vertical lines up and down. Yeah, yeah, just like. And they were. You could see through. They weren't thick lines, they were incredibly thin. But it was like watching through. And they were fairly spaced apart. But let's say you're looking at a TV shaped projection onto a screen and there's like 25 tiny little lines going up and down, equidistant. Like you're watching through a cheese grater or something. Not a cheese grater, but I don't know, something that, like, wires were like, through the screen and you could see what was going on. But I'm like, I can't quite see the game. I can't hear shit. And I just sort of was like, I think I made the wrong move here. But our whole gang was there. I don't know if you know this, your brother joined us again and it was like this whole gang.
- [18:01]
B
I heard he was coming down.
- [18:02]
C
Yeah, yeah. And so. But it was like this whole gang that we watched like the last few games in the same exact room. The projector wasn't having the issues. But this time I was like, I don't know, I made the wrong choice. But then very quickly I got into the swing of things. The projector corrected itself. I have no idea how or why, but the projector ended up being a clean visual for the whole game. By the time the game started. And, you know, I watched the commercials by just like trying. Genevieve was taking notes. And we were just saying, okay, we got to go back and watch this one and listen to this one later and kind of picking up on what the room was trying to pick up on. But at the end of the day, I think I'm Glad that I wasn't sitting home alone in my basement celebrating the Seahawks super bowl victory while all of my friends were somewhere else. So I definitely made the right choice. And I, I feel bad for being a little bit grousy when I first got there.
- [18:54]
B
I, you know, went to this watch party, the super bowl watching party that I've been going to for probably the last four or five years. It's Becca's brother and his wife and they put on this whole thing and there's like an incredible spread of food and drinks that they put out. They're great hosts. And what I had talked about last week was I came up with this whole plan, which was to set up. Becca's mom is a painter and she has this beautiful art studio that's in this barn that's kind of on the property as well. And so I was going to bring down my laptop and I actually bought a projector for this so that I could project in the art studio. And Jeff was nice enough to make sure that the old WI fi was working up there and everything. So when we got to the place, we didn't even go to the super bowl party. We went to the barn for me to set up my projector and everything. And without getting too into the weeds on this, there was the craziest, like, I don't know what you would call it, rights issue related to the projector. Andrew not wanting to let me play my YouTube live account. So I pay like a hundred bucks a month for YouTube Live and that's where I get all my sports and my Chris Hayes and everything. And it was playing on my laptop just fine, right?
- [20:08]
C
Yeah.
- [20:08]
B
And then when I would plug my laptop, I'd use the dongle and I would plug my laptop into the projector. It would start playing for about 30 seconds and then it would just. The screen would go black. And it was only doing that with the Super Bowl. With the pre game of the super bowl, it was the strangest thing. And now the projector itself was also WI FI enabled. So I went through the insanely laborious process. The projector is WI FI enabled, but it doesn't have a keyboard associated with it or anything. So it has this very janky remote control that you have to like try to get to a browser and then do all this like trying to move this cursor. That's very kind of kludgy to like each letter of my name. The how I log into like YouTube TV and I did this whole Rebecca has the patience of job. Just wait Was Job patient?
- [21:00]
C
Job had a lot going on.
- [21:02]
B
I think we say that. But I mean, honestly, the whole knock on Job was impatient, right? I mean, Job was considered to be haughty. And, you know, Job thought he was all that and a bag of chips. And then God decided to just absolutely ruin his life.
- [21:20]
C
Oh, see, I didn't realize that he starts off haughty. I thought he just started as, like a normal, even quasi humble guy, but God just kept piling shit on him.
- [21:29]
B
Maybe that's true.
- [21:30]
C
I trust your knowledge of Bible stories way more than mine.
- [21:36]
B
It's been a while since I've played in the Job space. But the thing about it was, I believe that regardless of what he's doing before, God really kind of like, ruins his life. The whole thing is that Job is really bummed about this. He's like, God, what are you doing to me? And I think God is like, you just got to wait this one out. You got to be patient. And then he eventually is, and I think things go back to normal for him. But the patience of Job sounds like Job's overriding characteristic was always patience. And I feel like it wasn't. That was what God needed to teach him. Well, anyway, Becca was very patient as I, like, was logging into the Hisense projector system, my YouTube TV account. It took conservatively 20 minutes for me to do this. I finally. I couldn't remember my password, obviously. So I finally get this thing logged in and into the. So my computer is not even attached to the projector now. It's just the projector, which. Which is talking to the Internet and is supposed to be talking to my YouTube TV account. And I click play on the football game there. And it says, basically, an error has occurred. We can't play this. I was like, how does it. First of all, I'm allowed to play this. I pay for this YouTube TV. This is content that I am allowed to have. But anyway, so that was kind of annoying.
- [22:52]
C
So can. I mean, you're in.
- [22:55]
B
I'm in your world.
- [22:57]
C
Grandmama cannot believe that we've been spending so much time talking about tissues. Why you even shut up now? Now.
- [23:03]
B
Digital rights management.
- [23:04]
C
But wait, so is this a theory that you have, or have you looked it up? Do you know that it was a digital rights management thing and not something with, like, video? You were playing other YouTube videos. You were playing legs, random YouTube videos, and it was fine. It was when you switched over to the super bowl that it shut everything down.
- [23:21]
B
That was what appeared to be happening. And I did not look it up. But the reason I think it's a rights management issue is because Scott and Jeff, Becca's brothers, came up to kind of hang out and help me troubleshoot it. And they both have a lot of AV experience. Scott owns a bar and he has, he was telling me, yeah, he's got similar problems, like with stuff that he'll be trying to play on the TVs or trying to play through the sound system, and it'll just get weird. Jeff's theory was it had to do with the HDMI cable that maybe what it thought was, is this HDMI cable, what is this going to? And are you in a bar and are you playing something, Are you projecting something in an area where you're supposed to be paying money for the rights to project this? You know, because if you're in a bar, you're probably not allowed to play the Super Bowl.
- [24:03]
C
Is that true? Or you have not, you're not. Not allowed to, but you have to pay, you know, rights to, you know, in the same way the baseball games. I know that, like Teddy's, the bar where I like to go to watch baseball games, they have to pay more than just a usual cable subscription in order to play certain, certain sports. Right. Because they're, they're making money off of it by bringing people in with the televisions and the sports and then selling drinks. So I understand that, but it's usually not up because, I mean, what if you did get the rights? What if you are paying root sports or whatever for this special privilege? Like, that's why I'm a little bit. That's why I'm a little bit shocked. But you, and you. But there were other things on, on.
- [24:42]
B
YouTube TV, I was able to play other things. And when I would plug, when, when I would get the, when I get the game going on my laptop, then I would plug in the HDMI cable and then it would be playing through the projector, and then it would black out after like about 30 seconds, always.
- [24:58]
C
And it would black out on both the projector and the, and the screen on your computer. Or maybe did the, did the projector take over the screen on your computer? And you don't.
- [25:05]
B
That part I don't remember exactly. But this. We did happen three or four times. All this is to say I was all excited to set up my viewing layer and, and it didn't quite go as I planned. But, you know, it was fine because the game itself was the way that I really hoped it would be for me, which is not overly stressful The. The Seahawks were as. As I. As I sort of expected them to be, by the way. That was a whole other crazy thing. Like, I woke up Sunday morning and I thought, like, what is this feeling I'm experiencing right now? Less fear, confidence. Like, I didn't know how. I kept thinking, that's got to be a jinx. How dare. I think that the Seahawks are probably the better team on paper and are probably going to win fairly handily. That was my feeling going in, and I was like, this feels wrong. I should not feel this way, and this is going to ruin it. But I couldn't shake the feeling. It was like I couldn't shake the confidence, Andrew, that. That we were just on paper, and that's not a knock on the Patriots. I think the Patriots have a bright future and think they're going to be back at the Super Bowl. I just thought that if you line the two teams up, the Seahawks looked like the better team this year. And. And yet I kept thinking, well, that's. I'm. I'm officially ruining it. I'm officially jinxing the live and tweedle out of this. But, yeah, the actual, like, the game itself. The Seahawks led throughout and really were so dominant on defense that I was able to watch the game in this at the super bowl party and not, like, completely lose my. My mind because we had it pretty. Pretty well handled. There weren't any big controversial calls. If anything, we benefited from a lack of a call or two. Like, there was a point where one of our guys, I think it was Josh Job, like, clearly punched a Patriot and. And they didn't throw a flag on it. And it was like, you should. He should have been kicked out of the game for it, and he wasn't.
- [26:57]
C
So.
- [26:57]
B
Point is, there weren't these triggering moments for me that will send me into an emotional tailspin, because if that would have happened and I'm around normal people, that would have been a bad scene. I will say this. If the Seahawks make it back to the super bowl and I am going back to this party, which was, by the way, the thing that Jeff did that was really smart. Jeff is, like I said, he's an AV guy. He had the sound so dialed in and so loud on the tv. So he has a whole kind of cool home stereo system with, you know, subwoofers and things like that. So the sound was crisp, it was clear, and it was plenty loud so that you could listen to the commercials, you could hear what the announcers were saying. You know, you didn't have to, like. I could see going to a Super bowl party where they've got the sound kind of low because you're like, we can see what's happening in the game. People want to talk. Jeff was like, Jeff understood the assignment, and maybe it was Darcy's call. I don't know. They understood the assignment, which is, I need to be able to hear what Chris Collinsworth is saying, even if it makes me angry.
- [27:50]
C
How many people are at this party?
- [27:52]
B
A lot. A lot. To vary. I want to say 30 or 40.
- [27:56]
C
Okay. Yeah.
- [27:57]
B
So it's well attended.
- [27:58]
C
I'm glad it's well attended, but I'm glad you were able to hear everything. That's nice. And what.
- [28:02]
B
No, that's big.
- [28:03]
C
What did you. It was pretty chaotic where I was, which is, again, kind of the. One of the reasons why. And again, it was fun. If I wasn't so worried about the commercials, I don't think I would have even been in my head as much about it. I'll probably end up rewatching the game anyway. I like to do.
- [28:20]
B
I already did this morning.
- [28:21]
C
I'm not surprised. Like, I'll probably like to watch it and actually go back and listen and hear. Because I have no, you know, I didn't hear it. I didn't hear one iota of commentary or anything like that. So it's just kind of a different experience. Like, you can watch football or you can watch football with your friends. It's a little bit. It's a little bit of a choice. But all of that is to say, I like that they emphasized the sound. So what did you. Not to get too far ahead of ourselves, but, like, I was not, for the most part, able to take advantage of those moments where, like, everybody in a room reacted to one of the commercials more than the other. We had a couple of micro events like that, but nothing big. Like, were there moments where, like, the room just all shut up because everybody was engrossed with one of these commercials?
- [29:04]
B
I would say the only one that really broke through that I noticed was the Yorgo. Yorgas. Jorgen Lanthimos, Emma Stone one.
- [29:12]
C
Yorgos. Yeah. Lanthimos. Yeah.
- [29:14]
B
Your ghost.
- [29:15]
C
Yeah, my ghost.
- [29:15]
B
Squarespace or your ghosts.
- [29:18]
C
That was a Squarespace. Yeah, for Squarespace. She can't. She can't get the domain for her name. I thought it was pretty good.
- [29:22]
B
I thought it was really good. But if you. Have you seen the long version?
- [29:26]
C
No, I haven't. I only saw what. I saw a teaser for it last week, which is like 10 seconds of her crying with his crazy music playing. And then I saw the one that aired during the super bowl, which, you know, you didn't really need to hear that. Well, you could just hear the music. But I only saw what aired.
- [29:42]
B
So I saw a. And for folks that haven't seen it, it's, you know, it's. This is the guy that made begonia and the favorite and kinds of kindness and a lot of, like, real out there projects. And it's this kind of like, castle type of, like, very dark building, you know, stone building on an island in the middle of like a kind of a stormy ocean. And the idea is Emma Stone is just in this, like, weird castle, freaking out because Emma Stone.com has already taken the domain name and she keeps typing it in. And then she keeps destroying the laptops. After she realizes once again that she cannot get Emma Stone dot com, she's throwing the laptops into a fire. She's breaking them. The long version I saw, there is a woman whose face we never see who keeps rollerblading in replacement laptops.
- [30:28]
C
Oh, I love that.
- [30:30]
B
It's the best part of the commercial and the fact that when they cut it short, it didn't include her. They should have figured out a way to at least, because in the longer version, you see her and she's almost like in a nun's frock kind of outfit, but you just see the shot of her rollerblading down the hall with another laptop. And then when she brings the second or third laptop to Emma Stone, Emma Stone says something that like. Like, oh, my God, thank you. You're divine.
- [30:54]
C
See, this is. They.
- [30:55]
B
They.
- [30:56]
C
They didn't. They. They neutered the Yorgos.
- [30:59]
B
They picked the. They. I think they basically picked the wrong parts of the commercial to take out for time, at least for my sensibilities, because I thought. But my point is that commercial was kind of smart because it was so over the top. It was so crazy that it did kind of get everyone's attention. But then I was also running. I was, you know, I was snacking. I was in a lot of different conversations. This is what I was going to say really quickly, though. So if the Seahawks make it back into the super bowl in the next few years, which I'm hoping they do, I think there are some reasons to believe that is possible. I am going to have to have my viewing station really dialed in because I was able to get through this because the Seahawks were kind of winning the whole time. But if it were a close game, or if it were, or if we were, like, playing terribly, or if there was bad, what I think of as bad calls going against us, I would have had to get the living heck out of there because so many people were talking to me about so many things that are not football related. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it was a great, fun party for people that are mildly interested in the Super Bowl. But, like, I was, again, I was able to handle it and not have my alternate viewing station working because the game was never in question. But if, but, but if we get back into it and we're going against, let's just say a fourth year of Drake May or, you know, the Buffalo Bills or, I don't know, just a team that's going to really, really give us a run for our money, I'm not going to be able to be standing there talking about unrelated topics to people I vaguely know.
- [32:26]
C
Yeah, I could see that totally as well. I had weird emotions going into this game because as we had discussed, like, I wasn't even, you know, I was watching as much as I could of the Seahawks early on in the season, but I wasn't prioritizing it the way I had in the past and sort of taking a, a little bit of an emotional step back from the team. And then I really got into it during the playoffs because. And this is something that I really, I realized something about myself, no joke, kind of yesterday, I think it was creeping up. And then today when I was thinking about my feelings about the super bowl and about the games that got us to the super bowl, like, I was so much more, in a certain way, I guess, bad feelings, like anxious and on edge about the games versus the Rams and even the final game against the 49ers and, and first of all, those were just better and scarier matchups for us. But I realized, well, I'm way more into those now. Being into something means I'm clutching my stomach and growling at people. So is that. It's like a couple of things. It's a double whammy of self realization, one of which is like, I guess I like my sports, like I like my coffee, just painful. And secondly, I think that going into this game against a team that I don't harbor any ill will against, I mean, we would, ironically, because it's like the Patriots and the terrible end of the Super bowl in 2014, I know that there's like this sort of narrative about, like, now we can get our comeuppance, but, like, that just feels like a different team. I mean, it's still the same colors and it's still the same logo and everything, but it's a different team. Like, it's just. There's none of that DNA anymore. And, and, you know, well, there's Robert Kraft. I mean, there's Robert Kraft, there's the owner, by the way, obviously.
- [34:14]
B
Did I just. Very quick interjection, if I can, to bring this maybe out of the sports world and into the just elite level trolling world.
- [34:21]
C
Well, let me. Can I just finish my thought, though, so. Because I don't think we'll get back to it. So, like, what I realized about myself today was that when I don't and may maybe I should have had more sports hate for the Patriots, but for whatever reason, I didn't. And it seemed like, you know, like you said on paper, it wasn't going to be a particularly close game, so I wasn't like, really worried about losing. And also, I just didn't have hate in my heart. And it occurred to me, like yesterday, I think the one of the only things I kind of texted you was like, in all caps after the win, like, show Sean McVay's face right now. You know, a coach who wasn't even in the game. But it's because, like, I hate the Rams now, you know, and the 49ers I have lingering hate for, and they're, they're division rivals. And so I think my second part of my realization was, which I really don't like. This about myself is like, well, it's better when you really hate the team. And like, maybe I'm just more of a hater than a fan. So, anyway, I'm sorry to cut you off, but I just wanted to. Oh, no, not at all.
- [35:16]
B
Well, the other thing is you are almost best friends with Mike Vrabel. I saw your online activity. That's a great photo. If you haven't seen it, go check out Andrew's Blueski where he has side by side photos of him and the Patriots head coach Mike Vrabel at Walsh High in their football uniforms just one season apart.
- [35:34]
C
Yes, I think I might have lied. I think it might have been a couple is. We're like three or four years apart, but it is amazing. Like, we're posed. We're both wearing the same exact Walsh Jesuit uniform, but you could not see a picture of two very, very, very different people. Some guy, by the way, totally coincidentally on Super Bowl Sunday, I had posted that on Friday night or something. I started following some guy who's like an ESPN editor or something on Sunday morning. Then he started following me back, and then he retweeted it. So suddenly that started to get a lot of juice. Not tons, like 100 or something like that, but by. By my blue sky standards, that started to get a lot of juice leading up to the super bowl, which was truly my Super Bowl. What were you going to say? Well, the way.
- [36:13]
B
The way that you kind of. The way you constructed the blue sky post was also great because you basically said. What did you say? Exactly.
- [36:20]
C
So I posted this photo of him in his football uniform posing, and this photo of me in my football uniform posing. But, like, I look like I'm. As I told somebody last night, the only thing I hated more at football, the only thing I hated more than football at this time was having my picture taken. And so you see me in this jersey that somebody, some stinky jersey, they probably pulled out of the laundry bin moments before the photo and threw it on me because I didn't even have a number or a position. And my face, my pudgy little face looks like I want to both kill somebody and cry at the same time. And then the Mike Vrabel one is. He's like this, just very athletic looking. I don't know if handsome is the right word, but a very athletic in shape. Bold and very confident and not menacing looking. Just like a huge smile on his face. Young man, probably of 16 or 17 years old, but just like the epitome of health and confidence and levity in a certain way. And I just. And I saw. I think I posted, like, can you try to guess which one of these guys is me? But, like, the way what you can look into the faces of those two children and see such a different way of navigating the world.
- [37:28]
B
And I think, honestly, it's played out exactly the way we all expected. He was coaching in the super bowl, and you and I are podcasting.
- [37:35]
C
Exactly, exactly.
- [37:37]
B
But so. So Bob Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, got in trouble for going to a massage parlor. And, you know, I don't know if he actually received a sexual favor or if he just requested it, because my guess would be it was a sting operation in, like, Jupiter, Florida. And my sense of those things is that probably the way that they would catch somebody would be there would be like an undercover agent or something. I don't know how it works, but he got in trouble for doing this. And Bill Belichick's, I guess, girlfriend, I don't think that they're engaged or married or anything. Jordan Hudson, who's Gotten a lot of attention in the last six months. The other day was at a UNC basketball game with Bill Belichick, and she's wearing a T shirt. And the T shirt is of the massage parlor that. Where Bob Kraft got arrested for requesting a sexual favorite. And that is, I have to say, an elite level of troll is pretty amazing.
- [38:38]
C
I know. I saw that.
- [38:39]
B
Like, I find her to be kind of a lot. But that's pretty. That's pretty. Pretty good.
- [38:46]
C
Because it wasn't like it was my understanding because it was a little. The photos I saw were a little bit hard to see, but it wasn't like some sort of meme that she had made that was like, ask me about the craft special or some stupid. It was just like, big. I think it was a sweatshirt. Right. A big circle logo on the front of her sweatshirt. Maybe T shirt. That was just the logo of the company, right?
- [39:07]
B
Yes. But my. My guess is she had to print this out.
- [39:11]
C
Yes.
- [39:11]
B
And. Or she. Like, I don't think that anyone was thinking. I mean, again, it's like if you are. If you were sort of an anti Patriots person, Patriots team, that is. That would be like a very kind of funny way, I guess, to troll the team and to troll the ownership. I don't think anyone had thought of that before. She did. Like, I don't think that was something you could buy on the Internet. Maybe. Maybe it was. Maybe I missed the. The bulletin on that. But. But anyway, that was just. I was like, wow, you just gotta kind of like, you gotta take your cap off on that one and go. You are ruining Bill Belichick's career, life, and legacy. But, man, that was a good. That was a good one. Yes. But anyway, so back. Sorry, just back to the watching of it. I enjoyed it, and I certainly very much enjoyed the. The warm hospitality of Becca's family. And that's actually kind of the most fun part for me is getting to see all of them. I mean, not more fun than watching the super bowl, but I do like getting to see them. I don't get to see them enough. So that part was all great. But what I learned. Well, my takeaway from the event was next year or in the future years, I'm gonna need. I'm gonna need an escape hatch because again, I've said it now four different times, but this was. This was okay for me because we. It was a runaway. But I'm not going to be able to be standing, talking to somebody about an unrelated topic while, you know, Sam Darl is throwing A pick six, you know, or something like that, or, you know, again, a call is going against us. I also was a little worried that my energy was just. I mean, I was working on it. I kept checking with Becca going, am I being too loud right now? I was probably at 11 or 12, by the way. Everybody was interested in the game. People wearing Seahawks, you know, shirts and stuff. It wasn't like people were not into the game, but it was just. Just. I was just sort of like a weird, feral animal that was just kind of pacing in the kitchen area, you know, going, like. Going like, oh, that's grounding. That's grounding. There's nobody. I mean, he's not outside of the tackle box. That's. And, like, no one there even cares about or knows what grounding is, you know? I was also constantly updating everyone on how my bets were doing, which, I gotta tell you, Andrew, I was pleasantly surprised that a couple of these nutcase bets I made came through. I forgot that I had some money in my DraftKings account because I can't use it when I'm in Washington State. It's blocked. So Sunday morning I was at Becca's, and I was like, oh, this is Oregon. Let me see. I had, like, you know, 50 or 60 bucks in there. So I was like, let's have some fun on some real, real silly bets. And most of them did not come through, but I had AJ Barner to score the first touchdown of the game.
- [41:47]
C
That's such a. I saw you texted that out. I was shocked by that because that was. I told you, I've been listening to the Bill Simmons podcast the past couple of weeks, which I was, you know, I had not listened to before, but I'm kind of really getting into it. And that was his. And even though he's a big Patriots fan, that was his lock. He was just kind of like, yeah, Barner first touch on the game. Like, that pays really well. Really? Yes. And so then when you said that, because you put. You just, like, put 20 bucks or something on that, and it paid out pretty well, right? You got a couple hundred back, which is sweet. I'm not trying to diminish that. But I was like, are you listening that show, too, or is this just a random thing you landed on? Because that was what his. That's what his prediction was.
- [42:24]
B
It was just a random thing that, you know, I'm going through, like, the DraftKings, you know, app Sunday morning, and they've got it. So, I mean. And I just want to preface this by saying I think sports gambling is a extremely pernicious, potentially extremely pernicious event in the lives of a lot of people. I do think it's overall really bad for sports and again really bad for people that get caught up in it. It's weirdly the one thing like this that I don't have messed up relationship with. I really and truly do not think about it for months at a time and. And so I like to dabble with it a little bit. But yes, I was scrolling through the app and they've got like Dave Portnoy's picks. I'm like, miss me with that. They've got so many different categories broken up of like for, for parlays and for like you know this person, you know these people love the Patriots and there's. These are the like the, the, the parlays that they're putting together. So I went into the like I love the Seahawks area of the app app and was looking at the. That some of the parlays they were. I hit a four way parlay by the way, which is I've never had a. And I didn't make that much money on it after all that. Let me see if I can find it in my thing. And it was not a parlay that I had like that I had you know, pieced together. I actually don't know how to piece together my own parlay so I just have to go off of like something that's being suggested. Okay. This was the four pick parlay that I had. Let's see. These were the legs of it.
- [43:44]
C
It.
- [43:46]
B
The Seahawks had to win by five points or more, which they did. Drake May had to throw an interception which he did. He actually threw two the Travion Henderson had to catch at least one pass which he did. And then the total score of the game had to be under 45 and a half points. And I hit all of that. A $20 bet netted me a $145.
- [44:11]
C
US how much did it net you? Sorry.
- [44:13]
B
$145.
- [44:15]
C
Oh yeah. You would expect it for. Yeah, well yeah, for all.
- [44:18]
B
I don't know.
- [44:18]
C
I mean you'd think it'd be better.
- [44:20]
B
But you would think so. By the way, I immediately cashed everything that I profited over.50 I cashed out on the plane this morning. So I'm back at $50.
- [44:29]
C
Oh, interesting. Oh, that's interesting. I would see you as somebody who would leave it in there and I.
- [44:34]
B
Don'T was I had like, I won like 500.
- [44:36]
C
Oh nice.
- [44:37]
B
I don't need 500 because my AJ Barner bet was like 250. And then I had. Then I had the Seahawks just, just to cover. But I don't need that. I'm not a. I'm not a 500 heir in my DraftKings account that will just sit there kind of languishing. So anyway, that's one of the rare examples of, of, of, you know, a gambling idea that I had that actually sort of kind of worked out. But that was the other thing that I was just. I was trying to use my, my bets as a way to force every conversation I was having at the party back into being a sports conversation because there was just, you know, again, there was a range of how much people really cared about the game. But there was also just. There was a few times where I could feel the conversation going in a direction that was not Nick Eman worry related. And I didn't have any time for those conversations.
- [45:23]
C
Can I move the conversation to something that I brought up a little bit ago that I actually really want your take on? And I've been thinking about it the past couple of days is the Seahawks fan gear I was in. This is going back about a month ago, maybe a month and a half ago, I had this strange sort of moment at Fred Meyer, the grocery store. Fred Meyers, Fred Meyer. Meyer.
- [45:47]
B
Meyers, Fred Meyer.
- [45:50]
C
That's one of those specific Northwest things where you don't put things like a Nordstrom's versus Nordstrom.
- [45:55]
B
I think it's Fred Meyer.
- [45:56]
C
I was at Fred Meyer the other day, and I hadn't been in Fred Meyer in a while. And it's a very. We've talked about it a lot. It's a very big grocery store that also has a lot of home goods. And its origins were actually more of a home good and electronic store, et cetera. Now it's a big grocery store. All of that is to say because of the mix of different products like that. I was near the checkout lanes and they had a little mini display with some Seahawks. You could get some Seahawks tote bags or whatever and you could get some T shirts. And it was the first time that I actually, I think I realized, like, oh, yeah, jsn, you know, our wide receiver Jackson Smith and Jigba, it was like they were the shirts of him. And it had been so long. Most of the Seahawks, like jerseys and stuff I see are still sort of holdovers from that, from the era of the Legion of boom and the Super Bowls and like the, you know, the 20 teens. And then, I mean, certainly, I mean, tons of, you know, Russell Wilson stuff back in the day. And then, you know, I mean, assuming you would see some Geno Smith jerseys, I'm not really sure. It seemed like things were static for.
- [46:56]
B
A while and now there's an entire village somewhere wearing Geno Smith Seahawks jerseys.
- [47:03]
C
Right? Well, and Raiders jerseys. It was a poor, poor village. But anyway, so it was sort of interesting for me. I was like, oh, yeah, jsn, that's gonna be the go to person who's gonna be plastered on some sort of ill advised design, plastered on the front of some gaudy T shirt. Right. And then I was mentioning to you that I actually really enjoyed seeing these pop up stands around the city the past couple of days. It made it feel like I was in a real city. And I consider Seattle a real city. So I don't even know what that means and I don't mean it as a dig, but there's something a little bit LA ish about it. Just like, hey, we're going to the Super Bowl. It was like these little reminders maybe, because again, I didn't have that fire in my belly about this matchup as much as I did against the Rams in the previous two matchups. And so it was sort of like we were all just kind of cruising pleasantly into the super bowl. But then like to see these pop up stands outside of a train station, somebody just selling like ripoff bootleg stuff, I loved it. And it kind of reminded me, like, get into this. Like, there's an energy in the city right now and you should get into it. But what I wanted to talk to you about was who are we celebrating other than JSN on the jerseys and the fake jerseys and the T shirts? And are we going to start seeing Darnold now? It really made me think that the city, even though we've been so excited and we had literally the best Seahawks record in history with him as our quarterback, you just don't see Darnold jerseys and T shirts the way you would Russell Wilson, who was like sort of like, you know, kind of came up not through our system, but, you know, was signed as a rookie with us and was always a like Seattle Seahawks, you know, kind of icon and figurehead and all of those things. And like Darnold, after this, are we going to start to see more Darnold stuff? Or is Darnold just not the kind of player at this point in his career where the Seahawks fans are going to be kind of rallying around him, at least sartorially.
- [49:04]
B
This is such an interesting question because of course, the big narrative around Sam Darnold all year has been. And I guess really for the last couple of seasons is like, okay, he was taken, I think, number three overall in the draft. Everybody thought he was going to be a really good quarterback. And then he was on some lousy teams, and everybody thought he was a not good quarterback. And now he is. He is. He has changed the minds of all the haters. And he. If he was going to win the super bowl, that would prove that he, you know, is a good quarterback. But he also is really dogged by two things that are the opposite of swag. One is missing a game because of mononucleosis and having the graphic on the screen. And instead of saying out with a hamstring injury, it literally said, out with mononucleosis. I think that's the first time that's ever happened in NFL football.
- [49:49]
C
Out indefinitely. I think it said in mononucleosis, as he points right at the camera, camera.
- [49:54]
B
Out indefinitely because he misses his mommy would be the only thing that could have created a more anti swag situation. And then the other. The other thing was when he said he was seeing ghosts, which, by the way, I don't think that's fair. Like, that became this. So he was playing in a game where he was having trouble reading the defense and he was having a poor game, and he said on the sideline, I'm seeing ghosts out there.
- [50:17]
C
Which he was. Mic, stop. Right. And I think that was like the Patriots. Maybe this is when he was playing for the.
- [50:22]
B
I think it might have been against. I think he was a Jet at the time. Maybe. Maybe. But like, everyone. Like, that was this iconic moment. I don't know. I thought that's not the weirdest way to describe to like, probably your quarterback coordinator. Your quarterback coach or your offensive coordinator. Yeah, I'm. I was seeing something I thought was happening that wasn't, and I threw it in the wrong place. I'm seeing ghosts out there. But that sort of was added to the, like, Sam Darnold is a mess lore. And so the question is, and he wasn't the MVP of the super bowl, he game managed, which was great. He did not lose the game for us. He had a couple of nifty plays. And. And critically, he did not turn the ball over. But, like, now that he won a Super Bowl, I'm sort of wondering aloud with you, will, next year we see a lot of people in Darnold jerseys. I am Predicting? Yes, because the quarterback is still kind of the face of the organization or a big face of the organization. I mean, I see people with Rick Meyer jerseys still, like, who is that?
- [51:18]
C
I don't think I know Rick Meyer.
- [51:20]
B
He was a guy that we drafted out of Notre Dame and he was supposed to be the next Joe Montana who would also come out of Notre Dame, and he was not. Although I do believe he set the Seahawks rookie quarterback record for most wins, which I think was something like six. But, like, my point is that if you are a NFL quarterback, there is going to be a certain percentage of the population of fans that are going to buy your jersey because you're kind of one of the marquee players. And I think now, having won the Super Bowl, I'm predicting we will see some Darnold, you know, some Darnold love and representation in the next season. The funny thing is, don't buy that Ken Walker jersey yet, because we don't even know if he's going to still be a Seahawk.
- [52:01]
C
Oh, I didn't. I wasn't clocking that. Cause I was going to say, I. I did mean to say earlier, I would say the second. Even before the Super Bowl MVP thing, I would say that the second most popular. I'm kind. I'm guessing here, but I feel like the second most popular jersey for a Seahawks fan is canine Kenneth Walker. And I. I did not realize, though, that he. His contract is up and so. Wow. Yeah, he might not be a Seahawk next year. Oh, boy, that'd be tough.
- [52:28]
B
And that's the whole thing, you know, not to get too NFL about it, but, like, there's been this kind of move in the NFL to sort of devalue running backs. Like, people just don't pay a lot of money for running backs anymore. It's kind of seen, I guess, as a sort of a position that as long as, like, you're blocking correctly and you have a good offensive scheme, there's a lot of people that can have success at the position, which was not always how it was. It was like running backs were the heroes. The Walter Paytons of the world. These were like, you know, the people that I grew up idolizing. But so Ken Walker is the MVP of the Super Bowl. You can't have a better thing on your resume when you're coming back in to, you know, to resign your contract. So I don't know if they're going to, you know, pay him the money that he'll probably be offered somewhere else. By the way, something really adorable about ken Walker the third. He's the third, right?
- [53:20]
C
Yeah.
- [53:20]
B
His dad is Ken Walker Jr. Is that how that works? Does it go junior or is it the second and then the third? Skip over the second?
- [53:27]
C
Wait, hold on. Well, I don't know if we're talking about him in particular or generally speaking in life, because I don't know anything about him in particular, but generally speaking in life, like, yeah, I have, in my family, I have a. There's a Frank Walsh and a Frank Jr. And a Frank III.
- [53:40]
B
Oh, it goes from Jr. To the third.
- [53:42]
C
Yeah, I think so. Because there's not a word like the Junior is second. Right? Is that what you.
- [53:46]
B
Gotcha. Okay, okay. So his dad is Ken Walker Jr. And his dad was at the super bowl. And what he said in the post game press conference is that his dad, he's from. I think Ken Walker is. He played at Michigan State. I don't know if he's from Michigan, but he said basically his dad comes to Seattle for a lot of his games, but never comes to the stadium because he is really uncomfortable around crowds.
- [54:08]
C
Oh, interesting.
- [54:09]
B
So his dad had never been in the stadium for one of his pro football games because of his, like, aversion to being in crowds. But he went to this game because it was that important, and his son was the mvp, which I just think is the most charming thing I've ever heard.
- [54:24]
C
You know what I learned yesterday when they were introducing the Seahawks, is that A.J. barner, who won you a couple hundred bucks yesterday, is from Aurora, Ohio. That is like. That is literally where the fiberglass factory that I worked at was in. I lost track of that sentence. Don't anybody, don't anybody diagram that sentence. I just started throwing words in at the end. But you remember, like, so outside of Kent, Ohio, is a place called Aurora, Ohio, which I believe might have at one point been home to a SeaWorld, which, by the way, there should not be a world in Aurora, Ohio. Yeah, you want to talk about the first sign that SeaWorld was making the right decisions based on animals well being was that they tried to create a sea world in Aurora, Ohio. I could be wrong about that. But that is where Omega Pultrusions was as well. The company where I probably did some major damage to my lungs by sandblasting fiberglass for eight hours a day.
- [55:28]
B
Do you know what the J in AJ Barnar stands for?
- [55:31]
C
Oh, I would like to know. J stands AJ Barner. I don't know what the A stands for. I'm going to take a Guess here it stands for Andre Jackrabbit Barner.
- [55:46]
B
You're pretty close. It's Albert is the A and his middle name is Javante. Oh really interesting for a white guy.
- [55:56]
C
Yeah.
- [55:56]
B
Have not met a lot of white Javantes in my life. That's. I was quite surprised during the endless sort of weak lead up media stuff where almost nothing interesting is ever revealed. That was an interesting one to me.
- [56:13]
C
I'm not saying this to argue with you, but I was just clicking around here. Now I'm on AJ Barner's Wikipedia page and it says AJ Barner, Albert Frank Barner the fifth is an American professional football tight end. Is somebody messing around? Because I don't know if you know this, but Frank does not begin with Jeff. Why is he AJ Barner if his real name is Albert Frank Barner? Or am I being fooled by pranksters on Wikipedia?
- [56:38]
B
Well, I think what's happening, Andrew, is maybe I'm being messed with by Albert Frank Barner because he said this to someone who was interviewing him. He said it was Javante. And now when I'm looking it up on the Internet and I'm, I'm on my, I'm doing this on my phone, but I think I'm getting the like the AI response, although it looks a little different. And it says the Seattle Seahawks tight end born Albert Javante Barnard. Barner confirmed this in a recent interview segment where he discussed his name, full name, Albert Javante Barner. But then if you go to his Wikipedia page, it doesn't say that. So I'm wondering if he was just messing with that. The person who was asking him what's the J stand for?
- [57:18]
C
But why would it, why would he have a J at all if it actually is Frank? That's what I'm really confused here because.
- [57:24]
B
It sounds better than AF Barner. If you're the most Barner you can be, you are AF Barner.
- [57:31]
C
Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I would. For some reason that sounded. Maybe it's just because of the rug company near me. It sort of feels like take your rugs to AF Barner to get them cleaned. AF Barner is going to treat you like family. What? Yeah, I'm very confused about this, but I guess it's not going to do me a lot of good trying to solve this on the fly.
- [57:48]
B
Yeah, I don't know, maybe AF AJ Whatever his name is, Barnard, maybe he was just having some fun with the, with the person interviewing him. But it's made its way onto the Internet. It's becoming Canon. At least in some corners of the Internet. Well, my friend, I think we have some donors to thank. And then I better skedaddle here. I'm going to be filming some stuff this week. I'm doing a story about an art show that's happening at the Broad Museum here. And I'm also working on a story about ncis. Yes, the television show ncis. So much to report over the next couple of days from here in la, but I need to get to some of that, so could you be so kind as to queue up our donor music? Thank you, baby. All right, we need to thank some folks who are making tea EBTL possible on this Monday. This is 100% listener supported podcasting five days a week, even on days when I forget my entire audio kit. Andrew, when I tell you. I broke out in a feverish sweat standing outside of lax, waiting for the lift to get there with both of my suitcases on the ground unzipped. I was going through them them like Uncle Billy in It's a Wonderful Life trying to find the money that he lost. Like, I was like, it's got to be in here somewhere. I'm tearing, I'm pulling out underwear. I'm like, looking under DOP kits. I cannot believe that I forgot my stuff. I never do that.
- [59:29]
C
I understand that feeling that you had and that panicky feeling, but also it's kind of amazing that out of all of the times you've done a trip where you have to do TBT on the road that you'd never have, you have a pretty good track record. So I guess what I'm saying is don't let this define you.
- [59:45]
B
I'm having a hard time not having it define me right now. But you know what the issue was? I left my house on Friday because I was in Portland with Becca. I had Livewire Friday night. I've been discombobulated. Usually when I leave my house, I have a whole system. Everything goes in a certain place and then I go directly to the airport. There was too much packing, unpacking in my car, out of my car. There was too much going on for my normal situation.
- [60:11]
C
Did you go, and this is a personal question, and I'm not just, you know, I'm not trying to get in your head, but did you go a little wild yesterday, too? And does that add to the feeling of possible guilt?
- [60:24]
B
I didn't go very wild because I was worried that if I became too inebriated, I would become like a real weirdo at the game, watching, like, I would either. I, like, I would snap at somebody unnecessarily. I just, I didn't trust myself to be drunk around people I don't know very well while the Seahawks are playing in the Super Bowl. So that's not as much a factor. But I definitely like on the plane, I started to do this thing in my mind which was like, did I. Because I put all of my microphone in my little thing called a mix pre. I put this all in this one, one tote bag and that goes in my suitcase. And I was trying to visualize if it was in the suitcase or not. And then I was panicking and then I talked myself into being like, of course it's in there. It's always in there. It's never not in there. And then when I got my luggage from the luggage, you know, the baggage thing, and then I unzipped it and realized it wasn't in there, I was devastated. Luckily I had the world's nicest Lyft driver, super sweet guy. And I was like, I need you to take me to a Best Buy. If you want to just drop me off there, that's totally fine. If, if you're okay with it, I'm going to sprint in there and I'm going to get this thing and I'm going to come out. It's going to take less than five minutes. But if you don't want to wait, I get it. Totally. He goes, no, no, no problem. I'll wait. I was like, okay. So then you just saw a lift pull up to the Best Buy in Culver City. Well, to a mall in Culver City. You saw a nearly 50 year old man, me, jump out of the car and start sprinting towards the mall. Sprint into the Best Buy. Ask the first person I saw, do you sell USB microphones? And he said, over there they have a whole section called content creators Andrew, at the Best Buy Now. And, and it's an industry. It's an industry town. And I ran over to content creation and I looked at the different microphones. I. There was a yeti that was like a couple hundred dollars. There was, there's a one that looked like my normal microphone that was like $300. And there was this one that I'm using. I sprinted to the back of the Best Buy and I asked the check because that's where the checkout is. I think they don't want people stealing stuff, so they make you go way to this back area. And I asked the person there, I said, can I please open this box? Because I need to see what the connectors are in here and if it's going to be the right thing for me. And she said, absolutely not. You are not allowed to open the box. She said, you have to buy it first. And I said, said, doesn't that defeat the purpose? She goes, well, you can get the warranty and then you could return it. I was like, I'm just gonna buy it. So I did, and. And then sprinted back through the Best Buy the wrong way, like away from the exit, back to where I came from. Sprinted out past the PF Changs and then busted out the door and ran back to my Uber. And I think it was less than. Or my lift, I think it was less than five minutes.
- [63:10]
C
I'm picturing you just stop. Just like you pass the PF Changs, but then you just go back for just a. A second. One helping of orange chicken, Ferris Bueller style. You just, just pluck one piece of orange chicken off of somebody's plate, then go running on again.
- [63:24]
B
What I learned is I am far too old to be running in that sort of a situation. It's not, it's one thing to go jogging or whatever, but like, to be like, it looked like I stole this microphone. You know, I come sprinting out of the Best Buy. I'm in like, nor, you know, I'm in jeans and a black sweater, you know, and like normal shoes. Like, I'm not dressed for exercising and I'm just fully running with this microphone box under my arm. I look like I. Like I just took it off the rack or whatever. Like it's unsettling when people see me running in a non exercise environment is what I'm trying to say.
- [63:59]
C
You weren't holding it very calmly like Bad Bunny holding a football in the halftime show, which I think we're gonna have to talk about that tomorrow.
- [64:05]
B
Have to talk about that tomorrow. Dude.
- [64:07]
C
Like, that and has ever been held so lovingly.
- [64:12]
B
I mean, carefully. I. We. We cannot. We cannot open. We cannot open that. That can of conversation because I have so much to say about how much I freaking loved that halftime show. I thought it was. I thought it was probably the best halftime show I've ever seen. And I didn't know one of the songs.
- [64:29]
C
Yeah. Or yeah, and you know, none of.
- [64:31]
B
The words as a piece of art. I thought it was maybe the best halftime show I've ever seen. Anyway, we'll. We'll talk about that tomorrow. Right now, what I'm here to talk about, Andrew, is Tiffany Heiner, who's in Vienna, Austria.
- [64:41]
C
Hey, an international donor today. Thank you, Tiffany.
- [64:46]
B
Tiffany tuned in for the tissue talk.
- [64:48]
C
That's right.
- [64:49]
B
And the lot of people stateside, a lot of stateside people are like, what are they gonna say about the Super Bowl? Tiffany was like, God, I hope it goes a tissue talk today.
- [64:55]
C
Somebody's got to address this at some point.
- [64:57]
B
You know what? Jennifer Ferdinand of Kenmore, Washington tuned in for. Oh, digital rights management. That's right, I am another topic we covered.
- [65:05]
C
I need to. I need to get my hands on that thing. I got to figure. I got to figure that out. That DRM thing. I was googling around a little bit. I can't. I can't find anything. That's so bizarre.
- [65:15]
B
I wish I would have had you there. I really was trying to channel you a little bit. I'm not kidding. Like I was. Because I was running into various problems and I was like, Andrew is really good at problem solving this stuff. I feel like every time we do a thon or a remote broadcast, there's a point at which it seems like the technology is not going to work. And you just like stay calm. You're like Sam Darnold in the pocket. You shift, you slip, you shift slightly to your left, you let the defender go past you and then you just throw a laser to jsn, which is my nickname for the shure microphone that I use.
- [65:48]
C
Yes. And sometimes, sometimes I throw a football that's way too close to the high synth projector and it really freaks me out. And sometimes I do that like 10 times in a row. But it always works out fine. It always works out fine. But sometimes I really freak myself out.
- [66:04]
B
There have been a couple times when you were seeing ghosts.
- [66:06]
C
Yes, certainly.
- [66:08]
B
All truth was. Thanks also to Stan Blade who's in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
- [66:14]
C
Thank you.
- [66:15]
B
I believe a place mentioned by Bad.
- [66:16]
C
Bunny yesterday in Canada specifically. I don't know about Alberta specifically, but for sure. And also I think we always shout out Stan for. I mean again, obviously made up name Stan Blade, but a great made up name. And that's why we celebrate you.
- [66:33]
B
We hope you're enjoying your time in the witness protection program.
- [66:37]
C
It's all awesome.
- [66:39]
B
Stan Blade, Atlanta Falcon. Thanks also to Denny Goulet who's in Edmonds, Washington. Look at this beautiful little kind of synchronicity. We've got Edmonton leading into Edmonds.
- [66:52]
C
Oh, I do like that. And they're different, similar sounding. This is an example of how everything comes together. Right. We're talking about different countries, completely different cultures, but so close in so many ways. And that's what Bad Bunny was talking about. About.
- [67:06]
B
He sure was. And then we've got Kate Ropel, who's in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
- [67:13]
C
Yes, she is. Thank you, Kate.
- [67:15]
B
Kate, thank you so much. And thank you for the pronouncer on your name, because I think I've been saying your name wrong for the last five to 10 years.
- [67:23]
C
You think so? You think I've been saying.
- [67:25]
B
I think I've been saying rapel.
- [67:27]
C
Oh, maybe.
- [67:28]
B
Rob. What I. Here's. Here's what I would say. I know Kate's been supporting the show for a good while, and I don't think Kate would have put the pronouncer. The pronouncer in if I was pronouncing it correctly, if that makes any sense.
- [67:39]
C
Oh, that's interesting. Maybe. Although I do encourage everybody to put in pronouncers, even if you've been a longtime donor, the next time you fill out any form, if you. If you go back in and add a pronouncer. We will try to. Because I. Not to get serious here. I. Actually, we. Sometimes we joke around about mispronouncing people's names, and our audience has been. And our listeners have been so generous and they roll with the punches or whatever, but sometimes names really are important, right?
- [68:04]
B
Absolutely.
- [68:05]
C
Like when I can't remember the comedian's name, ironically, but when he was sort of awarding JSN his. What was it? Best offensive player in the NFL, whatever the award was like, he, like, in a. Spoofed on his last name, Smith and Jigba, and messed it up several times in a row and then laughed it off or whatever. And I think a lot of the Seahawks, a lot of his teammates were like, like, this is this man's name and there's a reason. Like, he took his grandfather's name and it's important and it's not a punchline. And so all of that is to say if, you know, if you don't want us fumbling around, definitely send. Zip us along. A pronouncer.
- [68:41]
B
Yes, we. We joke as a defense mechanism.
- [68:45]
C
Yes.
- [68:45]
B
Because sometimes I don't know how to say someone's name. I have to try to turn it into a bit. But I would rather say everyone's name correctly.
- [68:50]
C
Yes.
- [68:51]
B
So please do. And I will not be offended if.
- [68:54]
C
If you.
- [68:54]
B
You email in to say, hey, you've been saying my name wrong, or here's how you say my name, or whatever. I would like. We would like to be as accurate as possible for everybody, including if he decides to donate Jackson, Smith and Jigba.
- [69:06]
C
Absolutely.
- [69:07]
B
In fact, how flipping cool would that be? One day we're just going through the names and we're like, Kirkland, Washington. Oh, look, that's where Jackson, Smith and Jigba is.
- [69:16]
C
Wow, that would be. That would be really amazing. I gotta say, I get excited when I see Steve Nelson's name. But, yeah, Jackson, Smith and Jigba might be a close number two.
- [69:28]
B
Yeah. Well, listen, thank you so much, everybody, for hanging out with us today. Again, peace and love to our friends in the Northeast and people who celebrate the Patriots. Y' all had a great season. And this for me, officially buries the hatchet. So, Andrew, I may be next year where you are, which is to say kind of aimless when it comes to a Seahawks Patriots rival rivalry, because I. I was carrying around some hurt from the interception.
- [69:53]
C
Yeah.
- [69:53]
B
Oh, by the way, and the fact that there was a bet on DraftKings that was will the Seahawks throw a pass from inside the one yard line.
- [70:00]
C
I had heard about this.
- [70:02]
B
That's an amazing bit of trolling, too. That's Jordan Hudson level.
- [70:06]
C
And also having Malcolm Butler be the person who, like, kind of rang their bell, that was the one time I felt a little bit like, screw you all. That was. That was a troll move right there.
- [70:18]
B
Yeah. But all is all. His beef is squashed and peace reigns throughout the land, at least of football squash.
- [70:25]
C
Those are both foods. We'll talk about commercials tomorrow as well.
- [70:29]
B
Definitely. Oh, you stop trying to make it a food thing or whatever he literally says.
- [70:34]
C
He says beef squash. Those are both foods.
- [70:37]
B
Yeah. All right, thanks, everybody. We'll see you tomorrow. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourself, and please remember, no mountain too tall.
- [70:43]
C
And good luck to all.
- [70:48]
D
Power out.