TBTL #4659: "We've All Got Our Own Tissues"

Date: February 9, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

Episode Overview

Luke and Andrew return for a post–Super Bowl Monday episode of TBTL, navigating the energy of a Seattle Seahawks championship and the fallout from a weekend filled with technical difficulties, social gatherings, and the pressing matter of... tissue box engineering. The episode mixes typical TBTL banter, deep dives into minor annoyances (tissue box mechanics), post-game reflections, Super Bowl commercials, and a case study in why you always double-check your podcasting equipment.

Key Discussion Points

1. Tissue Box Technology: A Deep Dive (04:10 – 14:33)

• Andrew’s Opening Complaint: On trend for "the most Super Bowl Monday" radio trope, Andrew laments the decline in tissue box quality—specifically, the folding technology and mechanics of the cube-shaped boxes.
• Nostalgia for the Old Days: Both reminisce about the "brick on the side" design from childhood and praise innovations like the last-tissues-in-the-box color alert.
• Modern Problems: The cube boxes, particularly the Costco (Kirkland) ones in Andrew's house, fail to properly feed the next tissue, often making it appear the box is empty a quarter of the way through.
• Brand Differences & Speculation: Is Costco’s tissue folding inferior to Kleenex’s? Andrew calls for listener input.
• Are They Saving the Whales? Luke jokes about companies using supposed ecological goals to justify product downgrades (14:08).

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew: "It just stops feeding the next one. It’s like they're folding up the tissues differently inside. I've almost accidentally thrown away the bottom half of tissue boxes..." (13:00)
• Luke: "As a consumer, is it possible they're doing this to save the whales?" (14:08)

2. Super Bowl Viewing Experiences

(15:30 – 32:25)

Andrew’s Eagles Watch Party

• Initial Regret, Later Redemption: Andrew initially wishes he’d stayed home due to weak projector sound and picture at the Eagles, but quickly bonds with friends as the party gets going (17:00).
• Commercials Dilemma: Anxiety about missing the nuances of Super Bowl commercials since he and Genevieve will later record a dedicated episode analyzing them.
• Missing the Commentary: Andrew values announcer explanations, not just the visuals.

Notable Quote:
Andrew: "But at the end of the day, I think I'm glad that I wasn't sitting home alone in my basement celebrating the Seahawks Super Bowl victory while all my friends were somewhere else. So I definitely made the right choice." (18:31)

Luke’s AV Nightmare at the Art Barn

• The Plan: Luke attempted to create his own Super Bowl viewing layer by rigging his laptop and a projector in Becca’s mom’s art barn.
• Technical Catastrophe (Digital Rights Management): Every attempt to project the YouTube TV broadcast of the game blacked out after 30 seconds, likely due to digital rights protection (23:00).
• Friends & Family Tech Support: Becca’s brothers, both AV pros, troubleshoot but hit the same roadblocks. Possible HDMI cable content-protection triggers are suspected.
• Emotional Arc: Despite the ordeal, Luke manages to enjoy the party due to the Seahawks’ untroubled win and the hosts’ excellent food and sound setup.

Notable Quotes:

• "It would start playing for about 30 seconds, and then it would just… the screen would go black. And it was only doing that with the Super Bowl." (20:08, Luke)
• "I believe that regardless of what he’s doing before, God really kind of, like, ruins his life. The whole thing is that Job is really bummed about this… But the patience of Job sounds like Job's overriding characteristic was always patience. And I feel like it wasn't." [On misused idioms, with Becca's patience as context] (21:00, Luke)

3. Super Bowl Recap and Fan Emotions

(26:57 – 36:13)

• The Game: The Seahawks win decisively, keeping nerves manageable. Luke discusses how unusually confident he felt, risking "the jinx" but ultimately being rewarded.
• Party Dynamics: Luke notes, were it a closer or more stressful game, he would have needed a private "escape hatch" from social distractions.
• Andrew’s Emotional Realization: The playoff games—against hated rivals—elicited more stress, anxiety, and ultimately engagement for him than the Super Bowl itself, in part because he feels less "sports hate" for the Patriots.
• The Role of Hate in Sports Fandom: Andrew reflects that he’s more emotionally invested when he really dislikes the opposing team.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke: "If it were a close game… I would have had to get the living heck out of there because so many people were talking to me about so many things that are not football related." (32:25)
• Andrew: "Maybe I’m just more of a hater than a fan.” (34:13)

4. Super Bowl Commercials: The Standout

(29:04 – 30:58)

• Best in Show: Both agree the Yorgos Lanthimos–Emma Stone ad for Squarespace was the only one that truly broke through the party noise.
• The Unseen Hero: Luke laments that the broadcast version cut the best part of the ad—a rollerblading "nun" (in the long version online) who delivers fresh laptops to Emma Stone.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke: "In the long version I saw, there is a woman whose face we never see who keeps rollerblading in replacement laptops… They should have figured out a way to at least get her in." (30:28)

5. Seahawks Merchandising & The "Darnold Factor"

(45:22 – 53:19)

• New Faces on Fan Gear: Andrew observes the emergence of JSN (Jaxon Smith-Njigba) shirts at stores and wonders if Sam Darnold—despite doubts about his "swag"—will now become a jersey staple after this win.
• Darnold, the Anti-Swag Quarterback: Derailed by memes about mononucleosis and "seeing ghosts," Darnold might still get the post-championship jersey bump.
• The Case of Kenneth Walker: Despite being the Super Bowl MVP, the RB's future is uncertain due to the NFL's devaluation of running backs—fans are advised to wait before investing in a Walker jersey.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke: "Now that [Darnold] won a Super Bowl, I'm predicting, yes, because the quarterback is still kind of the face of the organization... If you're an NFL quarterback, there's going to be a certain percentage... [who] buy your jersey." (51:18)

6. Gambling Woes & Wins

(41:46 – 45:22)

• Luke's Bets: Luke shares tales of low-stakes success, including hitting a four-pick parlay and an improbable first-TD scorer bet (AJ Barner).
• A Brief PSA: Luke expresses his wariness of the gambling industry's harmful side.

Notable Quote:
Luke: "It's weirdly the one thing like this that I don't have a messed up relationship with..." (42:24)

7. Commercial Breaks and Podcasting Fumbles

(59:28 – 63:59)

• Travel Mishaps: Luke details a humbling episode of forgetting his entire audio kit in Portland, prompting a frantic Best Buy sprint in Los Angeles to buy a replacement USB microphone—offering a glimpse of podcaster panic.
• Helpful Lyft Drivers & Best Buy’s 'Content Creator' Section: A testament to modern podcasting logistics.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke: "You saw a nearly 50-year-old man, me, jump out of the car and start sprinting towards the mall… I looked like I stole this microphone." (63:23)
• Andrew: "Don't let this define you." (59:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Every time you pull one [tissue], another one pops out right after. In fact, the technology got so sweet…" — Andrew (10:27)
• "I joke as a defense mechanism because sometimes I don’t know how to say someone’s name. I have to try to turn it into a bit." — Luke (68:44)
• "Maybe I’m just more of a hater than a fan." — Andrew (34:13)
• "This for me, officially buries the hatchet… I was carrying around some hurt from the interception.” — Luke (69:52)

Timestamps: Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:10 | Tissue Box Grievances—Cube box mechanics, nostalgia, brand talk | | 15:30 | Super Bowl Watch Parties—Andrew's pre-game regret and turnabout | | 20:08 | Luke's Projector Debacle—Digital rights management & streaming nightmares | | 26:57 | Post-game Vibes—Seahawks dominance, party dynamics, emotional takeaways | | 29:04 | Super Bowl Commercial Standout—Yorgos Lanthimos/Squarespace ad | | 41:46 | Gambling Confessions—Luke's parlay win, AJ Barner bet | | 45:22 | Seahawks Sponsor Wars—Who gets a jersey after a championship? | | 59:28 | Forgetting the Audio Gear—Sprint to Best Buy for a podcasting save | | 64:05 | Halftime Show Cliffhanger—Bad Bunny praise (teased for tomorrow's episode) | | 68:44 | Name Pronunciation Bit—Listener respect and running jokes |

Tone & Style

As always, Luke and Andrew bring the show’s signature blend of wry self-deprecation, absurd specificity, and affectionate hijinks. Their playful ribbing, uncompromising loyalty to each other and their quirks, and readiness to turn life’s little irritations into epic tales make even cubes of tissue boxes oddly compelling content.

Summary for Newcomers

In this episode, you’ll find a hilarious and surprisingly heated argument about tissue box engineering, a look at how fans weathered (and celebrated) Seattle's Super Bowl victory, an investigation into why your projector might sabotage a streaming party, and ruminations on the psychology of sports fandom and hate. Along the way, enjoy sharp commentary on Super Bowl ads, the fate of Seahawks jersey sales, minor gambling glory, and the universal panic of a podcaster separated from his gear. Plus, as always, more than a few "power outs."

Ad-free, intro/outro/trivia segments skipped as requested, focusing solely on substantive content.