Andrew (2:22)

There's nothing classier than boring jazz music.

Luke Burbank (2:25)

I'm here to tell you just an absolutely beautiful day here in Kansas City. The sun is shining. What a cool town. I feel like we're not talking enough about Kansas City and what an interesting place it is. But I guess we'll be talking about it on the show for the next couple of days because that's where I'm going to be today. We're at episode 4670 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. Been trying to get to this story all week, and today, I think, is finally the day. It's the story of a monkey that has captured the hearts of the world. You've been living in the monkey house. Punch the monkey. We're going to talk about that. Not just a Peter Gabriel song, but a monkey we've all fallen in love with. Speaking of animals that I've fallen in love with. There was a dog that was abandoned by the airport in Las Vegas. He was a little dog named Snuggles. We have a happy ending to that story, which we'll talk about as well. And we're going to talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Two bros broing it up. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Andrew (3:31)

Good morning, Luke. I have, for the first time in however long we've had Bingo. I think I have an honest to gosh, Bingo problem in this house.

Luke Burbank (3:42)

What?

Andrew (3:43)

This story almost off brand for him. It is. This almost reminds me of some of the behavior that I heard about from you regarding Bubbles. How Bubbles was Bubble's your cat and Bingo is my cat. I don't think I established that. For new listeners. Your cat is a troublemaker. Always looking to get in trouble. Starting things, going into jewelry cases in the middle of the night, figuring out

Luke Burbank (4:10)

how both incredibly stupid but cunningly clever. Like if some kind of bacteria that fed on brain matter got into Bubbles brain, it would starve. And yet somehow Bubbles can figure out how to open Becca's jewelry box in the middle of the night and steal her heirlooms.

Andrew (4:28)

And you're saying that the cat is still stupid, though, because she doesn't realize that she can't sell that on the black market. Like, what are you gonna do after you stole the jewelry? Like, how are you gonna fence that?

Luke Burbank (4:39)

She has not thought it through. It's just anywhere she can fence the jewelry.

Andrew (4:43)

It's so dumb. It just. It really is. It shows real lack of foresight. But anyway, you know, Bingo is a cat. He's not a saint. He obviously he gets. He'll get into some trouble here and there. He wants to play. Maybe he every now and then will go attack the couch in a way that we have to tell him not to or shake a blanket at him or whatever. But he's not like single minded in this way. That is kind of like trouble. That's the best word I can describe. So he likes to be up high, right? And so he's always jumping on my shoulders and going for rides. And he'll jump. He'll try to get as high as he can in whatever room he's in. And then like, you know, kind of tap me on the shoulder for rides. He climbs on top of this wine rack that we have on top of a bookshelf. He loves being up on my window ledges here in My studio. So we kind of know that about. And then yesterday, we were. I don't know, we were tomfoolering, and he was on my back, and I was in a part of the basement that I don't usually do that with him in. And he got up on this tall shelf thing, this sort of cheap IKEA thing that I have in the corner of my little dart area, where I have a boombox and some other miscellaneous items like tapes and CDs. And he got really excited, and he kind of got to the top. He jumped off my back and got up onto the tallest. Tallest rung of this shelf. And then he kind of pushed through this little temporary, almost poster board, little barrier we have that separates, like, sort of the inside of our ceiling. So this is the basement. And in some places, the ceiling is finished. In other places, it's just rafters. And when we bought the house, they had just shoved, like, some crumpled up insulation and pillows and stuff in these lofters. Hello. What's that? I think I shoved a pillow in one. They just threw, like, white poster board up. And others, we never really finished it. We have bigger things. We have bigger fish to fry right now. But what I didn't realize was in this very corner area, Bingo. He got up on the shelf, and I'm watching him. This is yesterday morning. And he just pushes through this flimsy cardboard thing and goes back into this area of the ceiling that I've never even seen before. And because of the positioning of the shelving, I can't really see what's back there. I don't know if it goes all the way the length of, like, my studio to, like, the foundation of the house or if it's just a little cubby hole or what. But the things that Bingo likes, cubby holes. He loves finding a little hole and, like, just, you know, wiling away the day there. And he loves being up high. So he goes back into this thing, and I don't even know how far back he's going. This is all taking place over the course of about five minutes yesterday morning before you and I started recording. And Genevieve is home. And I'm like, genevieve, we were goofing around, and now Bingo's up in the ceiling. And so we start shaking his food. He loves the. I mean, it works. I know that this is a tried and true method for a lot of cats. You shake their dry food, and he comes bounding out from wherever he is. And he's really, really good about that. It's kind of our fail Safe. If we're ever worried about him, we're. Well, he's not even coming out for the food yesterday morning. Like, he has found something that he is enjoying up there. Finally, he gives into the temptation of the temptations that we're shaking, and he does emerge, and I have to kind of, like, kind of manhandle him out of there a little bit, and everything's fine.

Luke Burbank (8:07)

You had a real cat in a hot tin roof situation.

Andrew (8:10)

We really did. In an unfinished basement cat and an unfinished basement roof. Anyway, so it's fine. Like, I kind of put things back on the shelf. I don't really think much more about it. I actually lock him upstairs for the rest of the day. Not in a punitive way. It was just because we had workers coming and going down here, and he's fine. He has the whole upstairs of the house. So then, of course, the workers. Our contractor, Adrian, loves Bingo, Loves Bingo more than he likes us, certainly. And so I'm like, well, you know, if you want to say hello to bingo Adrian, I'll let him downstairs now if you guys are done with the heavy work. He's like, yeah, yeah. I want to see my Bingo. So bingo comes downstairs. He somehow ends up on Adrian's shoulders. Now, Adrian's about as tall as me, I think, but we're standing in a different part of the basement. And bingo goes from his shoulders up onto the top of this little refrigerator we have. And again, this is a different part of the basement, but.

Luke Burbank (9:02)

Refrigerator.

Andrew (9:02)

A refrigerator. Sorry this is going on so long, but it's almost over. So now Bingo's on top of the refrigerator. But now there's also a new place in our ceiling in this part of the basement that is temporarily open and exposed because of the work that's going on. But it's very similar to the place where he had gotten, I don't know, eight hours earlier, six hours earlier. And so bingo beelines it for inside this little hole in the ceiling, and I'm like, no, no, no, buddy.

Luke Burbank (9:28)

Come on.

Andrew (9:29)

And I pull him down before he can, you know, really crawl back there. And then that's it. Like, I put him down on the ground, and I can just tell the rest of the evening while the contractors are here. And then a little bit afterwards, he is, in the parlance of our household, full of beans. Like, yes. He clearly kind of missed being around people most of the day when he was napping upstairs. But he's running around. But I can tell. I mean, I just know my cat's behavior really well. He is now obsessed with the ceiling. He is. I'm sitting here in my office, and I'm looking at him. He's over by the dartboard, nowhere near where he could even get up into the ceiling. And he is puzzling his way to get back where he was yesterday morning into that original hold where he tasted freedom or cubbyholeness or whatever. Confinement, actually, maybe stimming.

Luke Burbank (10:18)

Maybe he likes to be. You know, some people, when they're kids, they like to wedge themselves in the couch cushions. Temple Brandon used to talk about that. Someone who's on the autism spectrum. Maybe he likes the feeling of being kind of cozy and confined.

Andrew (10:30)

I think so, because he loves boxes. He loves any little corner like that. But, like, I'm watching him, like, with a singular. Well, a singular focus that I've never seen him before. Again, he's a smart cat. I've watched him puzzle things out, and I've seen him, like. It's really interesting to kind of watch him figure out tools, cow tools, human tools, all kinds of stuff, but you know what I mean? But in this case, though, he is, like. He's got a frantic nature to him. He needs to get back up at the ceiling. Last night, Genevieve and I are recording our after these Messages podcast, and I closed the door to my studio, and we hear, like, crashing around outside. He has now learned to jump high onto this tall IKEA bookshelf. And even though we can get to the lowest level of it now, which I've never. He's never showed interest in it before. He's never made that leap before. He's now, like, trying to figure out, how can I climb from the bottom shelf all the way up to the top shelf? Which is. Doesn't really make a lot of sense because, you know, there are shelves above him. But he's like. He's done it. He's, like, worming his way up this thing to get back into the ceiling. Veeves and I like, kind of stuff that up with some old fabric and pillows that she had and try to make it so that he can't get up there. And we just hope that by tomorrow morning, AKA this morning, he will have forgotten about it. He has not forgotten about it. He just is running around to the refrigerator area. Refrigerator. Where he had got a glimpse of the passageway when he was on Adrian's shoulders. And he's running back to this shelf area right outside my studio and knocking things over and just trying so, so desperately to get back whatever he saw up there. And I did eventually get on A stool. And look back there and it's like this. No wonder he likes it. It's this long area that is the entire length of my studio. Basically. It's like a whole little crawl space that is at least the size of my room that he can crawl around up there. But we don't know, like, he could get stuck back there very easily. Genevieve keeps saying, do you want to open up a wall to rescue him if he gets stuck? I'm like, I have a friend who had to do that with his cat. But Bubbles, he had to smash a wall.

Luke Burbank (12:39)

I just sent you a photo as a reminder of that dark time in my life.

Andrew (12:43)

Right. And I was saying, well, this has happened. So, like, we are very dedicated to not letting him up there. But, like, he has not forgotten. It's now been 24 hours and he has. And I'm not joking. Like, I've seen him want something before. I've. He's really good at communicating. He'll go over to his toys and like shake them until you play with them. Like us shaking treats at him. Like, he has a way of communicating that is honestly pretty astounding. But I've never seen him so wild eyed. He is like wild eyed and obsessed with getting back up there. I don't know what's going to happen during the show today. I might hear a whole crash. We think he's going to take the whole shelf down.

Luke Burbank (13:19)

Oh, what a feeling when your cat's obsessed with the ceiling.

Andrew (13:22)

There it is. We're going to get there.

Luke Burbank (13:25)

Just workshop and.

Andrew (13:26)

Yeah, no, I like it. I like it. So sorry to be babbling so much, but he's like a different cat.

Luke Burbank (13:31)

So I mean, if he gets up in there, I mean, at some point you're gonna have to like actually legitimately block this thing up if he stays stuck on this idea. Right? Because this like pillow and temporary fabric thing, I wonder if that's gonna be a long term solution.

Andrew (13:46)

I think it is as far. I mean, it's trashy as far as home decor is concerned, but it's pushed. The good thing is this is way, way back in a corner that is mostly blocked by the shelving unit, so that doesn't even matter. And again, this is an area that is like sort of half finished, half not finished. And the rafters are all exposed where I play anyway. And literally I just have a pillow blocking one of the other areas there. Anyway, like, we might address this part of the basement at some point in our lives. Maybe not again, we just have other things that we're getting to, but I don't really mind. We took a bunch of this really, really heavy fabric. It was old, like heavy blackout curtain material that we had used in a different apartment. And we rolled that up and we shoved it back there and sort of like repositioned some things. Even if he were to find a way to climb the shelving unit, again, I don't think keep in mind he didn't really climb it the first time. I sort of aided abetted him, which is. I have some huge personal regret about this whole thing too. I don't think he can get back up there, but I'm worried about what he's going to destroy in his efforts to do so.

Luke Burbank (14:47)

Yeah. Now, luckily, he is not as cat tistic as my cat, because it sounds like. I mean, it wouldn't be great if he gets up there and manages to burrow his way in somehow or whatever or just. Just for anything that. That bingo could get into where you're like, we really need you to come back, you know, from there, buddy. It sounds like he is obsessed enough with you and Genevieve, although maybe more you than Genevieve and food that you have some way of. It's a hassle, but you can entice him to do stuff. He is motivated to do things related to what you are trying to get him to do. That's the issue with bubbles. Absolutely. 100% does not give a flip about whatever it is we're trying to get her to stop doing or start. The other day, Becca was making this big elaborate meal for her kind of birthday celebration that was happening down at her mom's house. And she said that she had to rewash like four pans because she would get a pan out, she'd be doing something, and then bubbles would get out of the litter box, jump up onto the counter and walk through the pan. And it didn't have any food in it or anything. And then she would yell at bubbles, shoo her off the thing, wash the pan, put it back up, and turn around to find bubbles standing in it.

Andrew (15:58)

Oh, gross.

Luke Burbank (15:59)

It's really luckily. Listen, Becca is very, very, very cleanly and like in fact, something a recurring issue in our relationship. I wouldn't call it issue, but a recurring theme is she absolutely, under no circumstances will allow me to eat any food that has fallen off of my plate and hit the table at a restaurant. Maybe at her house she would allow it, but not in any public place. And I have learned now, five years in, that if I want to really get some side eye, I Just need to pick up that French fry that fell off the plate onto the table and eat it. And it will literally ruin the rest of her meal. She's like, have you seen the rags they used?

Andrew (16:42)

Yeah, that's what I was just thinking, because I kind of have the same thing. I'm not gonna say I've never done it, but I've never done it without whingeing a little bit, like food dropping on a table.

Luke Burbank (16:53)

I did it with a glob of scrambled eggs yesterday at the Alaska Airlines lounge in the Portland International Airport. And all I could think was, my God, if Becca saw this, she probably felt.

Andrew (17:03)

She probably felt a chill. No matter where she was in the world, she probably felt a chill like a shadow, like a ringwraith passing above her.

Luke Burbank (17:10)

Exactly. And somehow it's worse. That was scrambled eggs.

Andrew (17:13)

You know what I mean?

Luke Burbank (17:14)

Like, if it was like a cracker. It's something about the globby nature of the food. It' extra horrendous. And I don't even know why I did it, because here's the thing. They have just huge, you know, chafing dishes of scrambled eggs.

Andrew (17:26)

Yeah, I could have just.

Luke Burbank (17:27)

I didn't. There's no shortage of scrambled eggs in that lounge, by the way. I am frickin loving that this is my new move now, when I have a morning flight is get there a little bit early. Oh, dude. Kristi Noem was on my list. I was at my limit with her. I mean, obviously for the many, many things she's done that are just absolutely terrorizing this country. But the one that hit me most personally was, did you hear that they were trying to cancel TSA PreCheck just to be cruel and unusual.

Andrew (17:57)

Yeah. About this, about the partial shutdown. But they reverse course on that. Like before, the original headlines were barely out. I'm not even exaggerating here. Like, the original headlines were out for maybe like four or five hours before, like, the backlash had them reversing course,

Luke Burbank (18:12)

which I'm actually very surprised by, because it was obviously. I mean, the statement from Gnome was shutdowns have consequences. But my understanding of it was there wasn't any practical reason they needed to stop TSA PreCheck. It's one of the many ways people get through the airport, and they are still funding the tsa. It's not like the airports are shutting down. This was purely meant to inflict more pain on travelers and therefore try to, I guess, attach that to the Democrats. I did think it was. Also, I wonder if there is a Political sort of coding to TSA PreCheck. Do we think TSA PreCheck skews Democrat? Because my guess would be it might. It probably does. It's also, I fly out of Portland every day, which skews Democrat. So maybe that's just who I'm seeing. Maybe I'm flying out of a different city. But I wondered if their idea was, yeah, this is a bunch of squishy liberals who've gone down and, you know, verified themselves with whoever it is. Is that homeland secured? I forget. It was so long ago. I wonder if they thought this was gonna hit Democrats worse than Republicans in their mind.

Andrew (19:13)

That's interesting. I'm trying to parse that out. My pause there is not my refusal to engage on the topic because I think of it as. Well, it's like people who travel. I'm having trouble breaking that down because you're right. There's a little part of my gut that wants to agree with you, but I'm also like, I don't know. It's just about. Well, no. And then I'm like, ew. Then I'm just like, ew, ew him. But I don't know. It's just like, people who are flying the most. Right. And who flies the most, like, wealthy business people, maybe, you know, and I don't even know if I want to gender it, but maybe businessmen or whatever. Like, is that really a class of people that. That skews Democratic?

Luke Burbank (19:56)

I tend to think people who are traveling a lot are probably in upper income brackets. And my feeling is, and I haven't done the latest research on this, I still think that, like. And I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go out on an even further limb. I bet you that it's a higher percentage of college graduates, which is a major predictor of if you tend to go Democrat or Republican. I'm guessing if you have the kind of job. And of course, this isn't always the case, but if you have the kind of job where you're flying a lot for work, there's a high likelihood to me that you probably graduated from college. And if you did graduate from college, there is a much better chance that you tend to vote Democrat than Republican. So I am going to use that as.

Andrew (20:34)

I don't know. But what about all the evidence? I mean, all of the people who are causing trouble in this country, all of the really, really, really rich people. And again, in this case, I'm thinking about all the rich men who are destroying this country, like, they all graduated College. I just don't know that.

Luke Burbank (20:50)

I'm just saying the numbers are that more people with a college degree are more likely to vote Democrat than are.

Andrew (20:56)

That is true. That is true. But also, I think wealth has a real strong connection to more conservative mindedness.

Luke Burbank (21:03)

Yes, but I think. Well, also the uber wealthy are flying on PJ's private jets.

Andrew (21:08)

Right.

Luke Burbank (21:09)

The Bezos is of the world. So then I guess we're getting down into a subset of like the people that are wealthy but not so wealthy they're flying on a private plane. I don't know. All I'm saying is I was very happy that that was reversed, but I didn't realize until I was going to the airport. I just heard that news story, became angry about it, put it out of my mind, and then for once in my life, Andrew actually went to the airport earlier than normal because I was like, I don't know what the scene is going to be. And then I was actually googling it. This was my, this was my, my, my level of preparation. Get to the airport a little bit earlier than normal. But then Google. Does clear still work? As I'm walking into pdx, which is when I found out that they had reversed the whole gnome thing.

Andrew (21:51)

And clear is probably not affected because that's a private business of some sort. Right, right.

Luke Burbank (21:56)

But they do send you through the tsa, so I didn't know if they were allowed to pivot. And let. Let, by the way, that you want to talk about something that I'm sure selects for like much higher income people. It's that clear thing. And listen, I. We've talked about it on the show. I agree that that's making the world a slightly worse place. And I feel bad that I'm participating in. Has saved my bacon a few times when even the TSA precheck line is just like out the door. You can kind of sneak through there. But I do feel like I am really part of the problem when I get in that clear line. I feel like that's the most 1% thing that I do in my life is like I'm being personally escorted by a team of people past everyone else, even past the TSA precheck people.

Andrew (22:40)

I'm gonna ask you a question that might come up if we're ever on the Newlywed Game together. So, you know, take notes on my bucket list. There's no way you remember the sign that made me the most angry of any sign. Do you? It was an airport related thing. This is a long time ago.

Luke Burbank (23:01)

Were we traveling Together.

Andrew (23:02)

No, there's no reason you should remember this story. Although I find it hard to believe I wouldn't have brought it up at some point on the show, but Genevieve and I were traveling somewhere together, which is sometimes funny because Genevieve is pre Czech and I am not, which means three things can happen sometimes. If she books the tickets, we're both on pre check together. That used to happen a lot more often. Or she loses her pre check privileges because she's with this lunkhead who isn't a pre check guy.

Luke Burbank (23:28)

Or she's dragged down to your debased level.

Andrew (23:31)

Exactly. And some. Sometimes she's still pre checking. I'm not. So at least once in our life she has, like, skipped ahead, which is fine. And I waited in line. I mean, at that point, like you're waiting in line or you're waiting on a bench. Either way, you're waiting. But I guess being in lines is just that. Shuffling. People don't like waiting in lines. I don't know.

Luke Burbank (23:50)

It's worse. I'd rather sit on a bench.

Andrew (23:51)

Oh, absolutely. And I would totally. I mean, she went through the trouble of getting pre check. Amen. All of that is to say, one time we go through pre check, I believe together, maybe she was waiting for me on a bench, but I go through and I believe I had something that got flagged in the bag. It might have been radio equipment related. It doesn't really matter. But it's one of those days where I was especially crabby. It goes, my bag goes through, it gets flagged. Somebody asks me if there's any sharp needles in there. I say no, they toss my bag.

Luke Burbank (24:21)

Anything that'll stick me or poke me.

Andrew (24:22)

Yeah, they put things. They put things back in a haphazard way. I just always really, really hate that. And then they're zipping me back up and I'm just leaving the security area, and there is a big sign there, and it's an advertisement for TSA PreCheck by the TSA that shows somebody frustrated going through security and saying something along the lines of, isn't this a hassle? You should get TSA PreCheck. And I'm going to try to keep the non explicit label on today's show. But I was like, you M effers, you are providing a service that you are saying is so bad that we have to buy your better service. It's like saying, it would be like if now it's different because it's a governmental organization, it's a government department, but it would be like if Lyft released a commercial, Uber or Lyft released a commercial where they're showing their regular level drivers just being terrible. Just like cutting people off in traffic, making you feel unsafe, saying racist things. Whatever goes into having a terrible Lyft ride. Right? I think we've all had some combination of those things.

Luke Burbank (25:40)

Politics.

Andrew (25:40)

Politics won't shut up. Conspiracy theories, whatever, stinky car. They have a commercial where all of those things are on display or magnified. And then they say, isn't this terrible? You should take our black car service. And it's like, well, you're talking about how terrible your regular service is so that we upgrade. But this is the government doing this. That sign, Luke, remember this for the Newlywed Game. Newlywed Show. That is the sign that made me the most angriest. Luke Burbank, what is the sign that your partner was the most angry at in his life?

Luke Burbank (26:15)

We'll get that answer after this break. We'll be back in two and two. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark.

Andrew (26:27)

Get set, get set now.

Max (26:28)

Ready?

Andrew (26:29)

Ready, go, everybody.

Luke Burbank (26:31)

Razzle dazzle. And we're back with some dazzling donors. Andrew, I'm looking out the window here of the hotel, and there's like a ymca, and they've got a little kind of kids play area adjacent to it. And the kids are out. It's a real beautiful warm day here in Kansas City, and the kids are out playing with a parachute.

Andrew (26:51)

Oh, wow.

Luke Burbank (26:52)

Get in a circle and you flap it. And it is just one of the most wholesome, awesome parts of childhood. And we love to see that at the Kirk Family YMCA here in Kansas City.

Andrew (27:02)

That was a big deal when they pull out the parachute, huh? It was only like, oh, that was a special day or something. Yeah, yeah, that was that.

Luke Burbank (27:08)

And the roller skates.

Andrew (27:09)

Oh, God. You had roller skates in school? That sounds dangerous.

Luke Burbank (27:13)

I think I've talked about this a few times on the show, but there was this set of roller skates that went around the Seattle Public School District when I was a kid. So you'd get the skates for a week, and then they would go to the next school. There would just be one Monday. You'd walk into the gym, Mr. Wilburn's gym class at Bagley Elementary School, and there would just be, like, 40 pairs of skates. And I'd just be like, oh, my God. This is gonna be the greatest week of our life.

Andrew (27:40)

I don't Remember hearing about this before? Also, when you said there was one set of skates that was passed around, I was like, now I've heard stories about your impoverished upbringing, but this takes the cake. There is one pair of skates that went from district to district and if they didn't fit you, then you would stuff toilet paper in them to make them fit.

Luke Burbank (27:59)

Well, the thing is, there was only one set of skates in the sand. And that's when God was carrying me on his skates. Hey, what we're really doing here is we're thanking some dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough. It's how we were able to keep TBTL going all these years later, all these thousands of episodes later. And we really do appreciate it. And we really appreciate rich Eagles of West Chester, Pennsylvania. Rich. Like the Bernays sauce. Eagles like a band of soulful. Like a band a soulful rocker might play for.

Andrew (28:31)

Do you like Bernays sauce? Is that. Oh wait, I'm getting this confused. Is this the stuff that's on eggs Benedict?

Luke Burbank (28:37)

No, that's hollandaise.

Andrew (28:38)

Yes. I'm getting them confused.

Luke Burbank (28:39)

Bernays is on a steak.

Andrew (28:41)

I think it's okay. Emulsified butter. Rich, tangy. It's a. Oh, it says here it's a tangy child of hollandaise sauce. Okay, there you go.

Luke Burbank (28:49)

They're related.

Andrew (28:50)

I've never had eggs Benedict, but I'm getting. Because I always avoided like kind of creamy things like this. But Genevieve is a real eggs Benedict connoisseur and I'm getting more and more Benedict curious. I think I'm going to try it at some point.

Luke Burbank (29:03)

I think you should. It's absolutely delicious. And a well made hollandaise sauce is great. By the way, I was googling earlier, I thought, you know, I'm here in Kansas City, maybe I'll see what the, what Kansas City has to offer for, you know, this is a cool town with some cool culture and great food. And I googled what's the best restaurant in Kansas City or best food in Kansas City. And it just immediately said Chipotle, which seems like we can probably do better.

Andrew (29:29)

Yeah, I thought, I thought you were gonna say, I mean, it's Kansas City. I thought it was gonna be barbecue.

Luke Burbank (29:33)

Like, well, I would assume something like that. And then I was gonna see if there's, you know, I don't know, some cool Italian restaurant or just something. And it was just like, I don't. I believe that's SEO. I don't believe that Chipotle is The best restaurant in Kansas City at all. So we'll figure that out later today. In the meantime, we want to keep thanking our buddy Rich who says, hi loveies. What you do is so important. Starting with my annual appeal to donate to amigosofcostorica.org this is a great organization that Rich has mentioned before. He said second, my attempt to get my children to listen by announcing their names last year has failed. But my 11 year old twins have taken to trying to do math every morning based on show numbers. Oh boy, that way lies madness, considering how often I'm wrong about the show number. So I suppose, let's see, they have. Let's see. I suppose I have to give every year at this level. And A2, they listen to at least one episode a year.

Andrew (30:30)

Oh wait, I think you skipped a line. They have, however, told me I now need to have their names read every year. Oh, thank you.

Luke Burbank (30:35)

Gotcha.

Andrew (30:36)

Okay, so I suppose number one, I have you. Okay, I'm sorry. Now I'm just giving you the right. The lead. Do you want me to give you the lines again and just kind of like do you got to do it like this? Kind of like you're.

Luke Burbank (30:45)

Can we do it like Marlon Brando towards the end of his career where you just whisper it into my ear since I can't memorize any of the lines.

Andrew (30:52)

You're desperate but not needy. Does that make sense? You're desirous but not thirsty.

Luke Burbank (30:59)

I want this to be real island of Dr. Moreau Energy. Just maximum Brando, phoning it in, just absolutely giving zero craps. Here's what, I'll just reread this now because I messed it up so thoroughly. Sorry, Rich. He says get them to listen by announcing their names has failed. But my 11 year old twins have taken to trying to do math every morning based on show numbers. They have however, told me I now need to have their names read every year. So I suppose one, I have to give every year at this level.

Andrew (31:27)

Yes, you do, Rich.

Luke Burbank (31:28)

And two, they listen to at least one episode a year. So let's see. To Mikayla, Gianna, Adam, Theo and Levi. I love you. Those are some great names. And by the way, a lot of children. I did not expect that. I did not expect those names to keep going. Rich, dude, this family got on the airplane yesterday. They were so adorable. But there must have been six children under the age of six, including the mom was wearing one of the children, or you know what I mean, the children. Some sort of Baby Bjorn kind of a situation. They were These little towheads. And it was like. I mean, they were really well behaved, too. I could not. I don't. There's no. I didn't clock the dad, but there's no way this mom, who also seemed absolutely lovely, could have been even attempting to fly with, like, six children under the age of seven. That would be absolute insanity. But it was. I was already sitting. I wasn't in first class. It's okay. Every once in a while, we got to get back in steerage just to connect with the people.

Andrew (32:36)

Andrew, you're doing a great job of

Luke Burbank (32:38)

that relatable content, but I was sitting on the aisle, and these kids were walking by, but there was, like a. You know, the line was taking a long time. So I'm chatting with these kids, and this one kid, he's probably, like, four. He goes, I really want to be on an airplane. And I said, well, guess what, dude? Dreams come true. You're on one.

Andrew (32:55)

They just look at you with those big, wide eyes.

Luke Burbank (32:58)

It was. Oh, my gosh. They were just the cutest kids I'd ever seen. But again, it was sort of like reading the names of Rich's children. It was like, okay, that's. That's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. She's wearing one eight. What the heck is going on here? All right, so I love you. Rich is telling his children, I love you. And you now know where I get the phrase I say to you whenever we part. TBTL is the origin of don't forget to be awesome and don't leave your sugar on the shelf. That's really sweet. So that's what Rich is saying to the kids as they're heading out into the world. It makes me smile every time I say it to you. Finally, it's been a wild year. In between life and protests, you've been the desperate lifeline I've needed to keep me sane. Pod friends that I desperately needed. So to my friendos Luke, Andrew, and John and all the tens, thank you for being a ten. Rawr. From our pal Rich. Hey, thanks, Rich. What a nice note. Sounds like you've got an awesome family. And yes, legally, you have to keep donating at this level. So every year, we can read the names of those children even when they've grown and moved on and have their own children. And then we'll read the names of those children as well. If you pay us enough money.

Andrew (34:05)

If everybody's donating. The thing is, we need all the kids to donate as well, and we need their kids to donate.

Luke Burbank (34:10)

I'm looking at you, Mikayla. At you, Gianna. At you, Adam. And don't think you're getting out of this. Theo and Levi.

Andrew (34:15)

Come on, guys, rattle those piggy banks.

Luke Burbank (34:18)

No money, no funny, maestro. That's what I tell my children when they leave the house. No money, no funny. Hey, it's Will Richard the French way in Mount Lake Terrace, Washington. Will specifying that we say Will's name the French way. I love that. Thanks for the clarification. Will says, hi, business boys. You'll remember me as the guy building an airplane from a kit and taking science prereqs to go to med school in my mid-40s. I do remember you as this person, Will, all while continuing to work as a lawyer for the government. If I remember right, and maybe this gets explained in the rest of the message, Will is pivoting careers from lawyer to. Or is he just becoming a doctor for the. For the fun of it or, you know, taking. Going to med school for the fun of it? I believe he is going to eventually be a physician of some kind after having been a lawyer and building airplanes.

Andrew (35:15)

I know that I'm sure I said this last time, but there's just something about the phrase I'm building an airplane from a kit that just strikes fear in my heart.

Luke Burbank (35:24)

I think we get into that in the message here. He says, I work for a lawyer for the government. I won't say where I work, but I don't work for Homeland Security.

Andrew (35:32)

Okay, good.

Luke Burbank (35:33)

All right, buddy. I was thinking about that today. Man on the treadmill. Like there was listening to Pod Save America and they were sort of breaking down. I didn't, of course, I didn't watch the State of the Union last night, but they were just going through it for me, I guess. And they were talking about how Trump apparently doesn't mention ICE at all in this, like two hour speech or whatever, which is an indication of how unpopular it is. And I just thought, here's how, you know, you work for a bad organization. In 10 years, no one is gonna admit to having worked for ice. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's gonna be such a.

Andrew (36:03)

Well, they won't even show their face. Faces.

Luke Burbank (36:06)

Well, that's. Now that would be indication, numero uno, that you're doing something wrong. If you have to wear a mask when you're doing something in public that involves law enforcement, you're probably doing it wrong. But also, I'm just thinking about, you know, Omar El Akkad wrote this really fascinating book called One Day, everyone will have always been against this and. And his is about the Israel Palestine conflict. But that's what I think about with ice, with those gravy seals. One day, no one will have ever been in ice. Right. You won't be able to get anyone to admit that that was a thing they did, is my prediction about it. Because I think we will eventually come to our senses. I sure hope anyway. And yeah, I just like, I think there's going to be a lot of people who have a lot to account for when some measure of sanity is restored to this country. But anyway, point is, Will is not working for Homeland Security. Will says as I write this, I'm taking my last general chemistry class and my first physics class, and I'm finishing the airplane's electrical system. What I would say, Will, is don't skimp on the electrical system on the airplane.

Andrew (37:10)

Yeah, let's get a lot of sleep that night before you start working on the airplane.

Luke Burbank (37:13)

I would say almost as important as your chemistry test is your airplane staying aloft.

Andrew (37:18)

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Luke Burbank (37:20)

I don't want you to do med school.

Andrew (37:22)

If there's some instructions that say, then charge it with a USB C, please, for the love of God, get a different kit.

Luke Burbank (37:28)

Dude, did I tell you I got a drone?

Andrew (37:31)

No.

Luke Burbank (37:32)

It is so freaking cool. I just figured out how to fly it the other day.

Andrew (37:36)

You're in a good area for that. Like, I. Genevieve got me a drone one year, but kind of a very, very starter drone, almost toy. Like, it does have a camera on it and stuff. And she. And I really like the idea of it even like to mess around with the very rudimentary camera. Now, this is at least 10 years ago, but I hardly ever use it. I think I went to a park and used it once, but even then people were playing soccer below me. It's hard to control. I just. In the city, I am just very uncomfortable using this thing. But I'm assuming what I know about you is you have one that is probably way hardier than the one I have. And also, you're in a place where like, you can actually operate that thing.

Luke Burbank (38:13)

I did not go crazy. I mean, there's like, you know, there's like $1200, $2000 phones. I did not do that. This was like maybe $200. It was sort of like the best one. That's not crazy expensive and that has a come home function when the battery gets low.

Andrew (38:30)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (38:30)

Yeah, because that's the main thing I was worried about. Like, I want to fly it. I haven't done this yet, but I want to fly it. You know, I kind of live on this big hill, is property that I own. And I want to fly it down the hill and over like there's some trees and stuff. If it has enough range. I haven't quite figured out yet, but I want to fly it down and kind of go like checking out the little like forest land in my area and stuff. But I'm also worried about losing it or like the battery dying and then just falling out of the sky. So I like the idea that I can just hit this like come home button and it just comes back to the first position. That seems very, very cool to me. So that's. I mean all I did was just fly it around over my house. But I mean, it's nuts. It's like you just hit go and you know, uses my cell phone as the camera. So I mean, you know, not. Not the camera, the monitor. It has a camera on it and a video camera, but my cell phone is how I see what the drone is seeing. And you just hit go on this thing and all of a sudden it's just like, it's like 100ft above my house. And then it's just like zipping around and stuff. It is like Becca and I, when we went down to the Oregon coast, we saw these two kids, like two like nine year old kids flying a drone on the beach. And I thought, dude, nine year old Luke would have lost his mind over this technology. First of all, just a thing that flies. There was nothing like that. I mean, maybe a model airplane or

Andrew (39:42)

something, which I remember being fascinated by those as kids. But then you'd hear about it, be like, well, you can't just get a. Because you could get like an RC car, right? Is that what they call them? Remote control car. And I think I had one of those. And even those were just like the dream. But then you would see in movies people like launching airplanes using what looked like the same technology. But then you learn like, oh, no, no, those are like adults who are doing that because those things are like mini. Those things are so hard to fly. An actual model airplane, at least back in the day.

Luke Burbank (40:10)

You know what? We had that weird propeller stick. You know, you ever have one of those and if you do it the wrong direction, it just absolutely beefs your hand. It's like a propeller on a stick. And if you go like counterclockwise with

Andrew (40:24)

it, like you spin it between your two hands.

Luke Burbank (40:26)

You spin it between your two hands. You kind of put your Hands together, like in a prayer. You know, prayerful position with this, with the stick. And then you spin it. And if you do it right, it goes up. But if you do it wrong, you're sending it in the wrong direction. You're sending it into your hands if you do it the wrong direction.

Andrew (40:41)

Well, all we had were those little maple seeds with the little wings that you throw in the air. And watch. That's all my family could afford, Luke.

Luke Burbank (40:50)

Yeah, and that one skate that you had to share with the other kids in the neighborhood. Back to Will's message. I'm taking my last general chemistry class and my first physics class and finishing the airplane's electrical system and shadowing a doctor and studying for the MCAT, which I'm taking in May on my 45th birthday. I can walk right out of the MCAT and schedule a colonoscopy. Will, the question is, could you do your own colonoscopy?

Andrew (41:14)

Yeah, right. Could Will make a colonoscopy that's so invasive, even he wouldn't enjoy it.

Luke Burbank (41:20)

Could Will do so well on the MCAT that they let him do his own colonoscopy? He's building a damn airplane.

Andrew (41:27)

Right?

Luke Burbank (41:28)

I mean, he seems like a real autodidact, this.

Andrew (41:32)

Will, don't get confused by what the Mile High Club means. Will, it does not mean giving yourself a colonoscopy while you're fully on his own airplane that is charged with a

Luke Burbank (41:44)

USB C. I haven't been updating my bluesky account. Lawyer tries science because one, I've been busy. See above. And two, I try to stay positive online, but with everything going on in our country, it's hard. I couldn't do this without the support of my amazing wife, Liz, and our cats, Murray, Emmy and Pippa. TBTL continues to give me the occasional momentary distraction I need while doing such unreasonable things. In these unreasonable times. I don't know how Will finds the time to listen to this dribble drabble, but we're so glad that he is. That is just. I mean, Will, I'm. First of all, I'm going to start following Will on Blue Sky. Even though you're not updating it. This is my commitment, Andrew. Is anyone who mentions their social media in one of these dazzling donor messages? I'm gonna go ahead and smash that like and follow button.

Andrew (42:31)

Oh, wow. Well, that's an added. That's an added bonus right there.

Luke Burbank (42:34)

Yeah. You know what? That's a certain. I mean, that's assuming that people actually want me following them on social media. Maybe they don't, but I'm going to Lawyer tries science. Let's see if this pops up. I'm not spelling lawyer correctly. Okay, I'll do that after the show because nobody wants to listen to me try to spell lawyer tries science with one hand on my phone while I'm trying to co host this show.

Andrew (42:56)

It's one of those words where sometimes I have to say it phonetically. Law. Your law, your law, your tries.

Luke Burbank (43:04)

It's also the most brutally Philly word. Because my Philly family, my cousin Kellyanne was briefly a lawyer. She went to Notre Dame Law School, home of Amy Coney Barrett. Which is kind of funny because my cousin is actually. Well, I don't want to get into her politics, but I was quite relieved talking to my cousin that she was extremely pro Joe Biden and then extremely pro Kamala Harris. I wondered, because she went to Notre Dame Law School. She comes from a very Catholic background. She's sort of like an Amy Coney Barrett, but minus the politics, thankfully. But my aunt Kathy, of course, very proud of my cousin Kellyanne saying, oh,

Andrew (43:43)

yeah, she's a lawyer. Yeah. Lawyer, lawyer.

Luke Burbank (43:48)

The Delco accent. Lawyer. Lawyer. These are some other accounts. Lawyer tries his best. Lawyer that tries his best. Walt tries lawyer. Lawyer tries science. Come on, help me out here.

Andrew (44:04)

Nothing.

Luke Burbank (44:04)

Instagram. Hold on, I'm getting.

Andrew (44:06)

No, wait, are you on Instagram? That might be the problem.

Luke Burbank (44:08)

No, you know what? I'm on the Internet, Andrew. That's the problem. Not even in Instagram.

Andrew (44:11)

You're just typing. You're just typing it.

Luke Burbank (44:13)

You're just typing it into Google. What's wrong with Microsoft Teams? Dude, I did have to have a Microsoft Teams meeting this week who's just like, you gotta be kidding.

Andrew (44:25)

This isn't the same one that was related to TBTL that you're referencing. No, you're not.

Luke Burbank (44:30)

This is just.

Andrew (44:31)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (44:31)

Yeah, I'm actually, I'll mention this, too. A buddy of mine, A.J. down in Salem, Oregon, has this amazing organization he has with the people he works with, managed to have this new build construction of this housing in Salem that is for veterans who have been experiencing homelessness. So this is a place where they can have somewhere to live and they can kind of get back on their feet. It's a really cool organization. And they're bringing the comedian Rob Riggle to Salem because Rob Riegel from the Daily show and he's the guy that says papaw really loud in the stepbrothers scene that we love. He's a veteran himself. And so he's coming up to Salem to kind of be part of this fireside chat with moi. So I'm going to be interviewing Rob Riggle, just talking about his experience in the military and his experience post military and some of the challenges that folks face. And it's a fundraiser for this great operation in Salem, Oregon. So if you live in Salem, that's all I know about it. I would just say type it into Instagram, type Rob Riggle coming to Salem,

Andrew (45:33)

type it into Microsoft Teams, Yammer it, add it to Delicious, put it in Yammer.

Luke Burbank (45:40)

What was the other one?

Andrew (45:41)

Delicious. It was one that we had to use. Yammer. God bless Ross Reynolds, by the way. I kind of do miss Delicious a little bit.

Luke Burbank (45:49)

Nobody loved, nobody loved a new like kind of software system like that that could help with productivity. Like our pal Ross Reynolds.

Andrew (45:58)

Yeah, there are a lot of layers though. We'd have to yammer it, we have to delicious it. We do all kinds of things.

Luke Burbank (46:03)

We love it. But anyway. But yeah, that is, that's happening in Salem. So we had to have a teams meeting to talk about this event.

Andrew (46:10)

I see. Yes.

Luke Burbank (46:11)

Thing that really hurt me was I'm to, I'm doing it for free because it's a good organization and I don't, I only for these things. I would only charge if it's like speaking of teams, if it's like Microsoft or something, I'm charging through the nose. But like, how can I tell my friend AJ that? He was like, okay, well how much? And I'm also, I'm also hosting One for a Number. I'm, I'm apparently the number one host amongst organizations that help people who's been experiencing housing instability. There's a place in Longview called Core Health and the same thing. They reached out and they said, would you MC our gala? I said, sure. And they said, okay, how much is it going to cost us? And I said nothing. Because I'm a friggin saint. Because I'm a hero, Andrew. And that's the most important takeaway from today's show.

Andrew (46:54)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (46:55)

But it's like they know that I'm going to say no charge, don't they? I assume so. Like I just feel like I can in good conscience, I cannot charge an organization that is helping folks who are experiencing homelessness. I cannot charge them money to get up there and yammer my Delicious talks. Yammer my delicious hosting.

Andrew (47:17)

Did you write back? Well, I did just buy a new drone. Somebody's going to pay for that.

Luke Burbank (47:22)

Yeah, this drone ain't going to Pay for itself. Can I fly my drone around the event, please?

Andrew (47:26)

Exactly. You should charge and then just like roll up and like, I don't know, what's the most expensive car that you roll up in? Y. Yeah, and you're like, yeah, how about like you roll up, but it's like a 1980s version of wealth that you roll up in a Rolls Royce. You got some sort of a fur draped across your shoulders.

Luke Burbank (47:44)

Like, what would be, what would be the ultimate, like a Lincoln Continental, like a Cadillac or something. I've got some fur on you. Yeah, a Bentley. And. And I've charged them the absolute pinnacle of what I think they'll pay. Because that's, of course, my strategy for like corporate America. It's absolutely like, what can I. What can I wring out of these bastards? But by the way, hire me for your next event. Yeah, right.

Andrew (48:08)

Especially if you're a for profit company.

Luke Burbank (48:10)

Yes, yes, definitely.

Andrew (48:17)

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

Luke Burbank (48:21)

We need to talk about this Punch the monkey situation in Japan in a zoo located a little bit outside of Tokyo. This baby macaque monkey they've nicknamed Punch, which I think is a reference to a comic book artist in Japan who has, I think goes by the name Punch the Monkey or something close to that. That's who this monkey is named for. But the monkey was rejected by its mom, which I guess is not like super duper out of the norm. It happens sometimes. They think that the monkey was rejected by its mom because, and this is really weird, it's the first baby that this mother macaque had and it was very hot when she went through labor, which, like, imagine if human birth worked that way. Just like your mom had you on a really muggy day. So she's like, nah, no, no, thanks. So she would she. People are listening, going, that is what happened to me. So she rejected this little baby monkey, Punch. And so that was really sad and whatever. But the thing that's really made this story go viral is that the zookeepers, in order to, I don't know, comfort Punch, they actually gave him, I think, a couple of different kind of what we would call now stuffies. But the one that he really locked onto is an orangutan that is made by ikea, by the way. It is sold out. This is like a children's monkey stuffed animal toy made by ikea, which I don't think you can even buy right now because Punch has taken to dragging this like security stuffy all around his enclosure. And when the other monkeys bully him, which there's a lot of video of and which I can barely watch. When it starts happening. All I hear in my mind is Sarah McLaughlin singing in the arms of the Asians.

Andrew (50:17)

I'm watching these videos now on silent, but I'm hearing that in the background as well.

Luke Burbank (50:21)

I mean, it's like to watch and to watch this little monkey go try to play with the other monkeys. And then even the adult monkeys go over and they kind of like they're pretty rough with him. And then he runs and hides inside the arms of the stuffed animal that he's been dragging around. It is enough. I mean, I've cried enough on the show this week about Alyssa Liu, so I'm not going to cry about Punch. But oh my God, it is just so heartbreaking. Now, apparently the lines to get into the zoo, Andrew, are like ridiculous. Like the first weekend when the Punch story started going, I think the attendance doubled and now it's like tripled or quadrupled. Like it's an all day wait to get into the zoo to see Punch, who apparently is also making friends now.

Andrew (51:06)

Yeah, so I've just gotten to the good part. So first of all, these, as a, as a person who grew up having trouble connecting with peers and also had a very strong connection to the stuffed animals in my life, of which I had many.

Luke Burbank (51:24)

Henry. Was that the name of the Henry?

Andrew (51:26)

I had Big Henry, Lil Henry, Pluto. I had Fleegle, the Beagle. I had Cuckoo Koala. Like we were a whole crew, Luke. I mean, those are just the ones I'm remembering off the. I think Baba was my first one. That was a sheep. Be surprised to hear. Anyway, that's not what I'm here for today. Point is seeing the images of what looks like a lonely monkey dragging this toy around and loving on this toy and sitting on this toy at times it's like this toy is his everything. I'm seeing also people in these crowds of people waiting to get into the zoo holding their own versions of the orangutan, which I realized maybe you were pronouncing that in a specified proper way instead of I'm being annoying.

Luke Burbank (52:08)

It's one of my hobby horses.

Andrew (52:09)

It's like weddings sort of like kind of.

Luke Burbank (52:12)

Yeah, I think it's a rangutan or something. It's like Old man of the Forest in like Indonesian or something.

Andrew (52:18)

Well, anyway, I can, I can barely say. Yeah, easy words. So anyway, but. And then, but now I'm at the part of the video where it says Punch has been spotted climbing on the back of another monkey and being groomed signs. He's finally learning to make friends. Now, first of all, I don't like that. I'm just reading this for the first time. He's learning to make friends. Boy really puts really kind of victim blames there. Maybe they're accepting him. But anyway, this is very sweet. He's going for a ride. Not unlike Bingo, going for a ride on my back.

Luke Burbank (52:48)

Yes. I am so heartened by him making friends. Now I will tell you this. Jon Stewart really on my list because yesterday his hot take on the matter was maybe the mom is onto something. He was anti punch.

Andrew (53:02)

He thinks that maybe like this is just a super annoying monkey.

Luke Burbank (53:06)

Yes. He was like, well, could. I mean, the mom could have a point.

Andrew (53:10)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (53:10)

Was his take. And I was like, how dare you, sir? How I know everyone's got to have a hot take. You know, I have a hot take, Andrew, that I have been. I have a hot take that's a worse hot take than Jon Stewart's punch.

Andrew (53:21)

The monkey takes it monkey related at all?

Luke Burbank (53:24)

No, it's Girl Scout cookie related.

Andrew (53:26)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (53:28)

There is this adorable little girl who is being celebrated because she's, quote, unquote, sold like the most girl scout cookies ever. And I believe she may be a little girl who is working with some, some amount of maybe developmental dislay or delay or something or maybe I don't know exactly what's going on with her, but I had the sense that she's. That she's someone who's sort of dealing with some stuff and she's a girl Scout and she wanted to sell these cookies and the Internet, you know, she, her parents, you know, I think she did a little bit of the kind of like sitting outside the store selling it. But her parents also were kind of going on the Internet and you know, having her sort of offer the cookies that you could sort of buy online in some way. This is a thing you can now do. And she sold, you know, like, it became a story. And she's really adorable and she sold, you know, a million boxes of cookies or whatever. But it's like, did ya? Did ya? I mean, the Internet fell in love with you. And the Internet bought a bunch of cookies. But you weren't hoofing from door to door with the boxes of cookies or even like sitting outside the Safeway for days and days and days. This was an Internet story, which I'm very happy that it happened and seems like a very sweet kid. But like, I don't know if we can, can we say that the kids Sold the most Girl Scout cookies ever if it just mostly was cause of an Internet thing that took off.

Andrew (54:50)

But the thing is, I mean, that's

Luke Burbank (54:52)

how we sell cookies now, right?

Andrew (54:53)

Yeah. Like as. As a fellow old crank who, I mean, honestly, if I distance myself from you on the back end parking thing, why the hell would I not be screaming and running away from this conversation as fast as I possibly should be?

Luke Burbank (55:07)

Like, punch the monkey running away from one of the older macaques right now.

Andrew (55:11)

Hey, bingo. Do you have room in the ceiling for me?

Luke Burbank (55:13)

Yes. There is no. No winning this conversation.

Andrew (55:18)

Having said that, I was having a conversation with a friend who listens to the show, by the way, recently. And she's saying, oh yeah, I need to buy Girl Scout cookies. And I was kind of surprised because she's like, oh yeah, I go online and of course all the kids sell them online now. And I thought, when I heard about buying Girl Scout cookies online, I thought that meant that you choose a troop to support, but I didn't realize. Oh no, you're still. You can like click on somebody's profile, one of the girls profiles, and then say, oh, okay, I want to buy from this kid. That way you can kind of get these laudits or whatever. And because they're all selling for a goal. And my friend said, oh, well, you know what I like to do is I like to scroll through and usually find the person who has the least support and maybe like support them or whatever. Which is a really nice.

Luke Burbank (55:59)

That's actually really sweet.

Andrew (56:00)

Yeah. But it did really sort of mess with me to think, oh yeah, I mean, of course it makes sense. Like I want to.

Luke Burbank (56:05)

Yes.

Andrew (56:06)

I don't want to be the old man that says, well, back in my day, like we had to do it the hard way. And like now everything is. What's the point of everything is E commerce. Like, why wouldn't it apply to this? But I'll tell you one thing, I don't, I don't see myself ever going online to buy Girl Scout cookies because like, I like Girl Scout cookies. I have like three faves that I kind of lock into or whatever go to what's your. So you know the ones. I don't think I want to say tag alongs, but I don't think that's the right one. I like the ones that are chocolate covered wafers with a little bit of peanut butter under the chocolate. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Luke Burbank (56:41)

Yeah, I don't know the names very well. That's why.

Andrew (56:44)

But you Know the one I'm talking about, though, you know it's actually fully covered in chocolate. Right. And there's a little bit of peanut butter. I like those. I like thin mints, which are very, very straightforward and basic. And then I know we do keep them in the freezer, which I know you think is a little bit extra, but that's how I like them. I like both of those in the freezer better. And I can't remember what my third one is.

Luke Burbank (57:06)

I think I like the Samoas.

Andrew (57:08)

Oh, that's coconut. I'll eat them. But I'm not a big coconut guy

Luke Burbank (57:11)

and I think I like the. Oh, so do you like the peanut butter patties, maybe?

Andrew (57:16)

Or Tagalongs, by the way, Tagalongs is. Yeah, did I say that before? And then I rejected it as tag alongs. Are the ones I'm talking about fully covered in chocolate wafer on the inside with a layer of peanut butter above the wafer, but below the chocolate.

Luke Burbank (57:28)

Yeah. And we can all agree that the trefoils, those are trash.

Andrew (57:32)

Oh, yeah. They're just like sugar cookies or something.

Luke Burbank (57:34)

They're shortbread. The original iconic shortbread cookie. Come on, guys, get real. No, you know what, Andrew, you're absolutely right. And this has actually been. This has been good for me to sort of actually think about this. Because the goal is for these lovely girl scouts to sell as many cookies as possible. We use the Internet for everything. Just because I had to lug around a sack of really long beef jerky sticks to sell them and also eat some of them and then be like, what am I gonna do? I've eaten like five of these on this walk. I don't have $5. I remember doing that as well, but just because I had to go, this is really. This is just my own childhood trauma. And my childhood trauma was I really wanted to get like, this scooter was the top prize if you sold the most beef jerky sticks. When I was. Everything's about elementary school for me today. I'm clearly maturing and living my best life at 49 that I'm still talking about Bagley Elementary School. But I remember that they brought in all these beef jerky sticks and they rolled out this scooter. And it was one of those kinds that had handbrakes on, was a scooter, but had kind of small BMX wheels. Do you remember those when we were kids?

Andrew (58:44)

I'm not entirely sure. So you're. You're standing on it the way. But it's not the tiny Little wheels. I don't know that I do.

Luke Burbank (58:50)

It's not the tiny little wheels that are popular now. The like tiny little clear wheels. It was like. It was vaguely bmx, but it was a scooter. So it had like wheels, but they were like mags, you know what I mean? They were like. We called those mags. I don't know what they're really called. But it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen in my life. And I made a promise to myself that day. I was gonna win that flipping scooter. And so I went ham on selling, by the way. There probably was some ham. I remember reading the ingredients of these beef jerkies because they had beef heart in them. And I was like, wow, that's intense. But anyway, I spent.

Andrew (59:24)

If you sell the most, you end up becoming Captain Beefheart. The award they gave you, you become

Luke Burbank (59:29)

a Flying Burrito Brother. For some reason those bands are like. Those are sort of adjacent in my mind. They're probably not. They all just seem like they came out of San Francisco at a certain era and I wouldn't like any of their music.

Andrew (59:42)

I hate the name Flying Burrito Brothers. I've always thought it's just a terrible, terrible name for a band. But didn't somebody famous come out of that? Oh, that's Graham Parsons Band.

Luke Burbank (59:52)

Oh, okay. See, I didn't even know that. Who was Frank Zappa's?

Andrew (59:55)

That was the Mothers of Invention.

Luke Burbank (59:57)

Mothers of Invention.

Andrew (59:58)

I don't know the name of that, but I'm not really into that music very much.

Luke Burbank (60:01)

But like I just was. I spent weeks going door to door to door selling these pepperoni sticks and I did really well. And I mean, I just really, really beat the bricks. And then of course the big day comes and friggin Isla Higgins wins because her dad worked at Boeing and just took a bunch of bags into the break room and all the adults were like, cool. Beef jerky stick, $1. I'll throw a dollar in the bag. I'll have a beef jerky stick. And it made me, as you can tell, very, very angry.

Andrew (60:30)

I mean, the irony is like, if you had known me then, I would have just bought all of them off of you. I would have been like the kid at the bottom of the slide and shoots and ladders, distended belly and just a whole bunch of Slim Jim wrappers around me.

Luke Burbank (60:43)

Oh man. I mean, I'm telling you, those things were so, so good. They were just absolutely delicious.

Andrew (60:48)

But can I come back to. Can I? Maybe, maybe I'm Jealous because you got to have all the hot takes today. But I'm looking.

Luke Burbank (60:56)

You don't want the smoke that's going to be in my inbox after today's show.

Andrew (61:00)

You know, I'm on.

Luke Burbank (61:02)

I'm.

Andrew (61:03)

I think everybody should support the Girl Scouts, by the way. I think it's a good organization. I think I loved my friend's idea of finding the girls who are selling the least cookies and maybe supporting them. But I'm looking at the cookies and I told you, like, oh, there's like three that we usually get. Now I will say Genevieve gets the Samoas as well. Like, that's fine if it's the last cookie in the. In the cookie drawer. We don't really have a cookie drawer. You know, I'll have them. But I was like, I'm not really that into them. I'm looking at all of them. Like, I really like Tagalongs. I think about tagalongs. Like, that's a cookie that I would desire. And Thinman's. I'll put that there, too. But honestly, the rest of the list, I said there were like three. I think it's only those two. Like, I guess the other one that was sort of on our list would be the Do Si Do's. That was kind of a classic, but that's a peanut butter sandwich cookie, and it's actually quite dry. And then I would eat these lemon ones. They have, like. I think these lemonades are like lemon shortbread cookies, but I think they have icing on them. I don't know if they're like an Oreo, so I would have them. But honestly, the only two that I actually like, say I would like capital L like, would be thin mints and Tagalongs.

Luke Burbank (62:12)

I'm also. I'm just. I've got another hot take. I'm pushing back on the lemonization of American cuisine. I feel like every time I'm hanging out with the, you know, fancy types, they're making, like, lemon bars.

Andrew (62:27)

Oh, I love. Oh, yeah, I love lemon bars. I love lemon meringue. I love lemon meringue.

Luke Burbank (62:33)

I always have Sebastian Maniscalco talking about lemon bars. Have you heard of these things? These lemon bars.

Andrew (62:38)

Love a lemon bar. One of the only desserts I've ever actually made from scratch, where you put the. The powdered sugar on top and you have the crumbly crust. Crust.

Luke Burbank (62:49)

I mean, maybe I should just give it a second chance. It's not unpleasant. Like, I don't dislike the taste of lemon, but I feel like, it's become very popular in a lot of things. Like, I feel like it's a popular flavor right now. I mean, Becca uses a ton of it when she cooks, but I think that's more of a. Like, you know, balancing sort of of salt, fat, acid heat, as they say. But I just feel like there's, like, lemon is in a lot of stuff now, and I'm generally not that into it.

Andrew (63:15)

You know how we talk about food on the show sometimes I'm a little bit uncomfortable talking about it because you had mentioned the other day, I mean, I think. Was it maybe literally yesterday or the day before that you had mentioned, like, you're not. You don't think of yourself as being good at describing food in the way that maybe Becca or some other people in your life do. And you know me, I am not a. I'm certainly not a gourmand at all. I'm the opposite of it. And I certainly don't have language for describing it either. I'm sure I'm even worse than you or as bad as you think.

Luke Burbank (63:48)

I think you are a little bit. I think you're more of a gourmand than you give yourself credit for. When I hear you talking about cooking something, I think I hear some knowledge behind that stuff, honestly.

Andrew (63:58)

Okay, thanks. I think it's. I think I'm standing on false legs there, which is. I don't think of her, by the way. I'll use this moment, actually to promote our Friends thing, too, because our friend Rachel Bell has the Nosh, which is a TV program on the local public radio station here, and also the youe Last Meal podcast. And she's a food journalist and broadcaster and all this stuff. And she's great. I think most of our listeners know about her and her works. I didn't kind of realize that she has a weekly newsletter that goes out, not unlike tbtl. And she asked me if I could be like, her guest Q and A person for an upper upcoming newsletter. And she sent me, like, I don't know, five or six or seven questions or something. And I spent. I spent probably two or three hours filling that out Yesterday. I had so much fun writing now. It wasn't. I wasn't like, trying to be a food writer at all. One of the questions was, you know, Rachel's like, I know you like pretzels. Could you list from best to worst the pretzel shapes that one can get? And, like, that was like, literally the best question I've ever been asked. I just.

Luke Burbank (65:04)

You're going. Rods is the.

Andrew (65:06)

See this? Save it for the Newlywed Game, my bro. You got two answers, Rod.

Luke Burbank (65:12)

You've got two.

Andrew (65:12)

Rods is number one with a bullet. And just for the record, I was not counting soft pretzels that you would get at like a game or an event or something. So anyway, that will be coming out, I believe, in two weeks. I had a really fun time writing that. So maybe subscribe for the Nosh newsletter. Look for Rachel Bell's newsletter, the Nosh. Sign up and you can read. I was supposed to helped design something for TBTL yesterday. I was like, I'll be done when I'm. I'll do that when I'm done with my Nosh homework. I was so into this. Having said all of that. You were asking me about some olive oil cake the other day, and I was thinking about like, I can't remember the last time I looked at a dessert menu at a restaurant. Like, I'm just not a dessert guy.

Luke Burbank (65:48)

Right. Did we leave room for dessert?

Andrew (65:50)

Did we leave room for dessert?

Luke Burbank (65:51)

But how's our first bites tasting? How's everybody's first bites tasting?

Andrew (65:55)

I've never made cookies in my life. I've never made brownies. I've never made anything like that. But the one dessert that I made, and this is years ago, was lemon bars. So I guess I was ahead of the trend. But. But I love that. I love key lime. Do you like key lime pie?

Luke Burbank (66:07)

Not.

Andrew (66:08)

I love that.

Luke Burbank (66:09)

So again, I would eat it if, you know, I don't know. That was the only option. And I was really having a sweet hankering. But that would not be if I was at that. Looking in that. The glass cabinet at a Denny's or a Sherry's.

Andrew (66:22)

Yeah. Okay, so you're getting a pie. You're getting a slice of pie?

Luke Burbank (66:25)

Yes.

Andrew (66:25)

What are you getting?

Luke Burbank (66:26)

I'm going. I mean, if they had it, I'm going BlackBerry.

Andrew (66:29)

I love that pie is really good. It's huge for me. But apple pie, I'm fine with, but I don't crave it. I would take any of the lemon or lime pies over apple pie any day of the week. Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

Luke Burbank (66:50)

All right. Emails or V mails?

Andrew (66:52)

Yes. I got a series of voicemails yesterday from a listener who told a very long story and said, I know you're never going to play this on the show. It's too long and scattered. And I Will tell you. I was listening to it at the gym in my headphones, and I was riveted.

Luke Burbank (67:08)

Nice.

Andrew (67:08)

I need to edit them all together.

Luke Burbank (67:10)

That's how you get your pump going.

Andrew (67:12)

Yes, I'm listening to. No. I mean, honestly, I don't usually do that. But they had just come in while I happened to be, like, getting to the gym, so I hit play on them, and I was already wearing my headphones, and I was riveted. So I need to prepare those voicemails. It is about etiquette. It is about line etiquette when you're waiting in line.

Luke Burbank (67:31)

Yes.

Andrew (67:31)

And it raises some really interesting questions. We're gonna get into that. I'm thinking maybe on Friday's show, because tomorrow's blurs days. But let's go back to what we have on the shelf. The other day, I gave you an option. I said, we have. We have a voicemail about a delivery mistake, a voicemail about the word restaurateur, and a voicemail about somebody eating something really, really old. Well, you chose that one, which is about old Mac and cheese from Peter. So that's off the shelf now. Which leaves you restaurateur or delivery mistake.

Luke Burbank (68:01)

Let's go restaurateur.

Andrew (68:03)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (68:05)

A word that I have never felt comfortable using.

Andrew (68:08)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (68:09)

And have used accurately very few times,

Andrew (68:11)

like me and orangutan.

Max (68:14)

Hey, dummies, it's Max in Brooklyn. I heard the episode where you spent upwards of 40 minutes talking about an email I sent to Andrew that was mostly administrative.

Andrew (68:26)

Oh, oh, oh. That was Max who discovered there was a missing show in the archives. And it sounded like it was a show that was pretty divisive amongst the audience. And it went back, like, more than 10 years ago.

Luke Burbank (68:38)

The show that came after. It came after. It was sort of described. It made it seem like this was the missing time in the Nixon tapes or whatever.

Andrew (68:47)

Right. So we ended up finding that show re adding it to the archives and playing a bunch of it and talking about it. But anyway, that's what Max is talking about there.

Max (68:54)

That was awesome. But then you besmirched my name by calling me a conspiracy theorist and someone who maybe knew why restaurateur was different from Restaurant and the truth, I gotta

Andrew (69:08)

be honest with you, I don't remember any besmirching going on, but I stand by it.

Luke Burbank (69:13)

Oh, you think? Yeah. You besmirched.

Andrew (69:15)

Oh, yeah. But anyway, so I don't remember the conspiracy part, but yeah, we did say that you were a little bit like, we were confounded about restaurateur as opposed to restaurant. I didn't remember evoking Max's name in this, but take it away.

Max (69:29)

Different from restaurant. And the truth is, I do. I'm an etymology nerd. The thing is, both of those words come from the word restore from French, which means to restore. So a restaurateur is someone who restores your strength with food. Restaurants is a place where you get restored. The restaurant, A N T is the French suffix meaning place. Restorateur is the auteur, like auteur, like the auteur theory of film, is a person who does so. A restaurateur is a person who restores your strength. Restaurant is a place where your strength is restored. That's why the two. Two words are different. It's because French is stupid. But, you know, there's a reason. Anyway, sorry I got so worked up, guys.

Andrew (70:30)

I love you.

Max (70:31)

Power out.

Andrew (70:33)

Well, there you have it. Are you satisfied?

Luke Burbank (70:35)

Restoration Hardware is where I buy a very expensive couch I lose in a divorce. That's fascinating. Okay, so you're the.

Andrew (70:44)

The idea is that.

Luke Burbank (70:45)

That the restaurant is a place where you are going to be restored because you are going to get some food, you are gonna. You're gonna have your energy back. And so that's where the restoration is happening, where you're being restored at the ront. But the person who's doing the restoring is the restaurateur.

Andrew (71:01)

Yeah, it makes sort of sense. Yeah, it's. The rest actually will be.

Luke Burbank (71:06)

Yeah, it'll be easier for me to remember. I think my hang up, which is what I probably said previously, is that the fact that restaurateur doesn't have ront in it because we call it a restaurant. So theoretically, you'd think it would be a restaurant tour, like the person who runs the restaurant. But they.

Andrew (71:21)

That.

Luke Burbank (71:22)

But as Max just explained, there's a reason for that, so.

Andrew (71:25)

Hey, did you see that somebody? And I know you have to go. We'll end it here, but did you notice that somebody had looped us in with Mina Kimes on Blue sky yesterday? And here's why. I think it's an interesting turn of events.

Luke Burbank (71:39)

Mina Kaims, did she acknowledge our existence?

Andrew (71:43)

She did one time for me as a Browns fan because Chris Hayes mentioned me or something when the Browns won their first playoff game. Or maybe we're going to the first playoff game. Anyway, Mina wrote. Mina re posted something on Blue sky that was a poster for the Amazon original Patriot. And somebody wrote, love this show. And mina Kimes wrote:20 hours ago, if you've never seen this show, aka Patriot. It. Watch it, especially anyone who likes the Coen Brothers, which is not actually an observation I've ever really had before. A connection, stylistically, and then listener, I'm assuming listener. But somebody named Liam wrote the guys from TBTL did a podcast series about it at the time called McMillan Men, and I recommend it. Fluid Conveyance was never more rock and roll. And so I jumped in, I said, thanks for the shout. Here's a link. We're huge Mina fans over here. And I linked to the show. Mina's a busy person. I don't know if you know this. She does a lot of things. She's probably not listening to our recap podcast, but she might. She has access to it now. She conceivably knows of it, sort of. Maybe.

Luke Burbank (72:54)

It also just feels to me like it's confirmation that Patriot is a great show.

Andrew (72:58)

Yeah, that's true.

Luke Burbank (72:59)

If the great people likes it.

Andrew (73:00)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (73:01)

You know what I mean? It's another way that I know that we would all vibe. We would vibe if only we could, you know, if only we could break through the Internet chatter and let Mina Kimes know just how much. Is it Kaim or Kimes? That's the thing.

Andrew (73:14)

Mina Kimes.

Luke Burbank (73:15)

Kimes with an S. Okay. Mina Kimes, Yeah. She's absolutely phenomenal. And we are big, big fans. And if you didn't know, by the way, this is. Maybe we have some new listeners. Yes, there is a show called Patriot, which is the worst name ever for a show like this, because it sounds like something that would, you know, and I love Matt Damon, don't get me wrong. But it sounds like a show where either Matt Damon or Kiefer Sutherland would be running around trying to defuse a bomb. And that's very much not what the show is. It's just absolutely phenomenal. And then we got so obsessed with it. We did an entire podcast about this show that, like, no one watched except us and Mina Kimes.

Andrew (73:52)

Yes, that's right. And the showrunners, we caught their attention as well. We had a dialogue with them. Although then the two we almost.

Luke Burbank (74:01)

Yeah, I mean, there was like. I mean, now I probably. That it's probably so far after the fact, you know, that it's. It's just everybody's kind of moved on. But, like, yeah, the show creator, I was emailing with him, and he was really nice, and he was totally down for us to do, like, an event, like a McMillan man event in LA where he and some of the stars of the show were totally gonna come. Just, like, be on our panel or something, like some sort of a comic con deal, which would have been so awesome. And then that was literally right when the pandemic hit.

Andrew (74:31)

His brother was also all over me, too. His brother, who was in the show, who plays. It's Been a While.

Luke Burbank (74:37)

Unreal. And how is that guy not in more stuff? Like, it's one of the best acting performances I've seen in a long time in a show.

Andrew (74:44)

I know. I know. That's fun.

Luke Burbank (74:46)

Conrad is the name of the show creator.

Andrew (74:48)

Yeah. I'm glad we did that, though. That was fun as a weird, weird little period of our. Of our existence as a show.

Luke Burbank (74:56)

Yeah. All right. I guess that's gonna do it. I have much to talk about with you tomorrow that we didn't get to today, Andrew. Okay, but including your. What I can only describe as a. Like an east. A west coast, Midwest coast feud with the Stubbot. What's going on? Oh, really? I don't know. I saw the headline from Stu's newsletter. Sounds like. Sounds like there's something going on. Which I'd like to unpack with you a little bit more tomorrow.

Andrew (75:25)

I stood on my porch and I screamed at him. You're a real pos, you know that?

Luke Burbank (75:30)

Oh, I need more on that guy, too, actually, if there's any updates on that story. But anyway, we'll leave that for a future program probably tomorrow when we'll be back here with more imaginary radio. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

Andrew (75:49)

And good luck to all.

Andrew Walsh (75:56)

Power out.