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- [00:01]
A
You can learn about anything in this world if you'll just follow my little trick. Got it? All right. Albania. Here. Albania. Or should we say Albania? Why'd you say it like that? We learn our facts by associating countries with music. 1, 2, 3. Albania. Albania, you, border on the Adriatic. Your land is mostly mountainous and your chief export is chrome.
- [00:51]
B
Tbtm. I have a beta sequence I've been working on. Would you like to see it?
- [01:00]
A
Get the. Get out. Are you gonna get out out there? On. You gonna get out there?
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B
No, you're not a weenie. I mean, I think Hammers did more for Home Depot than Home Depot did for Hammers, right? I mean, like, how do you even
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A
build a Home Depot without the hammer?
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B
Right?
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A
Right.
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B
We have to get drinks, Several drinks, don't you think? Let's celebrate.
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A
Let's celebrate drinking.
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B
Ok.
- [01:23]
A
Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Life's a potty wiper, Bobby. My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Coming to you from cowtown. That's right, kcmo, Kansas City, Missouri, where it's another spectacular, beautiful day here in February. Oh, Ma pa.
- [01:50]
B
It's so just beautiful.
- [01:51]
A
Looking out on the mighty Missouri river and the railyards coming in and through town. What a cool place. And what a cool episode, my friends, that we've arrived at. It's of course, episode 4671 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We didn't get to JetBlue the dog yesterday, but I do want to talk about this beautiful animal that was abandoned at an airport but now is doing much better. Also, it's a Thursday, AKA a blursday. Today we will do the blursday messages and we will talk to this guy, longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. This is an actual recording of his performance review that we held yesterday. I don't think he should be fired. Just moved down three or four rungs or five. He is Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
- [02:49]
B
Fair enough. Luke, I'm going to reiterate something to you that I said during our sound check, but I'm going to add a lagnop that is going to blow your damn mind. You did something with your intro that I believe was a pure coincidence, but plays into exactly the scenario I was talking about before the show, which is you are joining us from Kansas City, Mo. I am Here in Seattle WA Yesterday, coincidentally, the Seattle Mariners and the Kansas City Royals played a spring training game. Okay, I didn't watch the game, I didn't listen to the game, but I just looked up the score. It ended up being a tie, eight to eight yesterday. This is spring training. Nobody has to win so you can tie.
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A
And I actually hadn't thought about that. So if it's a tie in spring training, they're like, this is fine, this list. Everybody go home.
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B
Yes.
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A
We don't need a winner in this game.
- [03:47]
B
No, it's just practice. But as I was looking up the score to kind of maybe reiterate this at the beginning of the show, I'm like, okay, it's eight to eight. And then I was going to say, yeah, and they were playing there in the valley of the sun. And then I realized, wait, no, no, no. This was a kind of a quote unquote home game for the Kansas City Royals. Which means. Do you know where that game was played yesterday? Do you know where the Kansas City Royals hold their spring training?
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A
Is it in the state of Arizona?
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B
It is.
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A
Is it in the state of Arizona?
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B
It is. Surprise, Arizona. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Did I blow your mind? Did I blow your mind?
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A
Did you really did? Because of course, I did not know that. And what a random. I just grabbed that because Jim Neighbors came up on the show.
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B
I tried to bring them up whenever possible.
- [04:41]
A
It worked. You manipulated me. Perfect. I fell right into your trap of playing Jim Neighbors, AKA Gomer Pyle. Do you know that of the many things that I've creatively stolen over the years, including the work of Steven Wright, the comedian, which I passed off as my own head Ace Kiwanis Club, Stars of Tomorrow talent show, the writing of Dave Barry, which I. I was trying to write a humor column for the school paper when I was in high school and I just verbatim wrote a Dave Barry like, you know, column or whatever, which is just to think about the humor of Dave Barry and how I thought there was any universe in which I was gonna be able to pass that off as the musings of a 14 year old.
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B
And don't forget also your main creative theft, which was my most popular blue sky tweet ever that went viral, which you then recreated. You did like a cover of it a couple of weeks later of all
- [05:38]
A
of the things that I've stolen. And by the way, I got busted on the Dave Barry thing too, because of course, the editor of the paper was my. My dear friend who is now departed, but he was A teacher. He taught me how to play guitar. He was my buddy Joe's dad. His name was Gare Dahln. Absolutely love the man, but he was really the Dave Barry demo, like, so it was the silliest thing. It was like trying to say that, you know, I wrote the song sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, but I'm performing it for a Beatles fan. For me to try to steal Dave Barry's work and then have Mr. Dahlin not figure out it was Dave Barry. That was preposterous. He did figure it out. He was very cool about it. He just said, why don't you put one in that you wrote? Fair point, Mr. Dahlan. But of all the things that I
- [06:21]
B
have, I thought it was about trickle down economics. Really was a big flag.
- [06:29]
A
The thing that I got away with stealing was basically just doing Gomer Pyle in this one sketch, I guess we can call it, that. That I did when I was part of the. The high school drama group, which was called Rowdy Reaching out with Drama to Youth. I don't know what we did with the T didn't work. So we just went with Rowdy. And there was some kind of a. There was a skit. We did a comedy skit where it was like, you know, basically these recruits were in basic training, and you've just basically got the, like, I mean, really, who should be in trouble for this? Whoever wrote this thing because it was out of some book, you know, like, that you could buy for your school slash church drama group. But so, because it was just clearly like a Gomer Pyle type of person who was being yelled at by their supervisor, by their, you know, drill sergeant. And I literally just did a Gomer Pyle impression and it killed.
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B
It wasn't.
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A
It was a script standout skit.
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B
You just decided to bring that.
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A
He was a. I played a very dense, a very not smart recruit who is constantly doing things when standing at attention that are annoying the drill sergeant, which is just Gomer Pyle 101.
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B
But you said that this script was in a book, so there was some. You brought some of this Gomer Pyle to an already existing character as written.
- [07:52]
A
Yes. It was scripted material. He wasn't called Gomer Pyle in the. In the script, but it was very clearly just like a Gomer Pyle esque dude. And. And again, it was. People were.
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B
They were.
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A
You know, people had tears rolling down their faces. Grown men coming to me and saying, Mr. Burbank, with tears in their eyes. That was the funniest sketch that Rowdy has ever done. And all I was doing was just being Jim Nabors. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
- [08:21]
B
Well, you're saying that the person who wrote this already was probably thinking about Jim Neighbors or Gomer Pyle at the time. But you know what? This brings up another point, which is, was Gomer Pyle a ripoff of Beetle Bailey?
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A
Interesting. A swig of my San Pellegrino.
- [08:43]
B
No, no, I like the dramatic pause there. I thought that was good. But think about it like, okay, not the sn. Not the voice, and certainly not the singing voice of Jim Nabors. But you said the script was written as like basically some frustrated sergeant yelling at some kind of aloof soldier. Some private.
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A
Not aloof.
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B
Well, like just disengaged or. I guess those are the different.
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A
No, hyper. Engaged. That's the thing. I was trying my dang dis, but I was just failing constantly because of my idiocy.
- [09:13]
B
Okay. And I guess that's true of. Yeah, I guess that is a big difference. And that is true of Gomer Pyle. That is not true of Beetle Bailey. Right. It's been a while.
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A
Aloof, don't you think?
- [09:22]
B
Yeah, I haven't dug into the Beetle Bailey stacks in a while. I'm still working my way through Nancy. But that is true. That is a big difference between those two. The only, I guess the. I guess the only connective tissue would be the setting, right? Like kind of basic training or the army or whatever that is angry sergeant and yelling at somebody. But really the characteristics of the two mains are different.
- [09:46]
A
And the big question, of course, and this is what everybody got up wondering today on this Thursday, is all of that a ripoff of the Reader's Digest section, humor in Uniform?
- [09:55]
B
No, it's not. Because humor in uniform is just a place where people with experience in the military or military related fields can write in with their own little anecdotes. It's not about one character. It's about us.
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A
Luke, listen, I'm going to get myself in a lot of trouble here because I'm going to say something with confidence and that usually means I'm wrong. But wasn't humor in Uniform just jokes that happened to be set in a military setting?
- [10:24]
B
They were jokes usually written in by listeners or readers, I should say. I don't listen to Readers Digest. I still have a subscription to Reader's Digest. And it's. They still come to it. Now the, the, the, the magazine has changed a bit where it leans even more on that kind of like. But no, I Think humor in uniform was always. And they were jokes. It was the joke section. It was supposed to be funny, but it was often it was like, it was my first day in basic training, and I thought I was really ready by polishing my boots all night. But then the sergeant started yelling at me, and I looked down and I realized I was wearing two left boots. Now, that is not a good example. That was off my. That was off the top of the dome.
- [11:05]
A
That would have definitely gotten in.
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B
But does that. Does that ring a bell to you? Like, they weren't just kind of like two soldiers walking to a bar? There might have been some of that as well, but I think that they were all submitted by readers.
- [11:18]
A
I. I think. Well, here's part of it. There was. There was basically about three or four sections of Reader's Digest that I went right for when I picked that thing up. And again, to those wondering why we're not succeeding with the young demo, I. I would say it's not unrelated to the fact that we're talking about Beetle Bailey and Reader's Digest, but.
- [11:39]
B
And Gomer Pyle.
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A
And don't forget, Jim, Neighbors rest in power. I. I would go right for life in these United States, which were jokes about, I guess, living in America. Humor in uniform. I feel like there was one more section.
- [11:55]
B
There was a medical one, and there still might be. Again, these sections still exist, although life in these United States might not exist. My dad was texting me, like, have you read this? Have you read the latest Reader's Digest? Because he. I have a subscription. He gets it for me, so. And he wanted to know if I had read the. The article about writers and cats. He's like, you should be in this. And I still haven't read that. He keeps on checking. He's like, have you read it yet? He's like, isn't it weird that Hemingway isn't in there? And I'm like, I haven't read it yet, but that's a true story.
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A
Drama in Real Life was the last one.
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B
Drama in Real Life. But then don't you remember the medical one, too? There was a medical one.
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A
Yeah, but I don't remember the name of. I do remember it, but I can't remember what it was called.
- [12:32]
B
Yeah, I'll look at. Oh, Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter is the best medicine.
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A
Laughter is the best medicine.
- [12:36]
B
Yeah, but. Yeah, and here's one even somebody wrote. I'm dating myself here. Reader's Digest used to have a section in it called Human Uniform. It would tell funny military Stories and experience experiences share something funny that happened while you were serving. So yeah, I mean, I do believe, I mean, because I was as obsessed, if not, I mean, there's no way that you and I can judge who was more obsessed with Reader's Digest, but I was obsessed. Like not only did we get it, I believe, I'm not sure if we got it delivered, but my grandma gave me just boxes and boxes of old Reader's digests from the 60s and 70s and maybe up through the 80s. And I would just keep a stack of them on the back of the toilet. And this is where I learned that the bathroom is where you find peace. Nobody can barge in on you when you're in the bathroom. And this is where I learned just let your legs go numb, let those two little divots on your knees get as you have your elbows resting there as you just read a 20 or 30 year old reader's Digest.
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A
For some reason we had a ton of Reader's Digest large print edition. We did not subscribe to Reader's Digest, but you could pick them up at any garage sale in town. There was always just boxes of Reader's Digest and so my mom would get them. But I think maybe because the, maybe they were estate sales, maybe they were. The people had shuffled off of this mortal coil and towards the end they were reading Reader's Digest but the large print edition. So spent a lot of my childhood reading the large print edition.
- [14:02]
B
You know, those were the glory days too. You know, what's bullshit about Reader's Digest these days? And I'm sorry. And I know the publishing industry is. It is what it is. The fact that Reader's Digest still exists at all as a physical magazine is probably impressive. And so I'm not trying to, I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, be cruel to them. But clearly, as you mentioned, their target audience is probably, what's the phrase? Dying out sundowning and that as well. And so, you know, they're, they're struggling to survive. I don't think that the magazine is as robust as it used to be. Also, maybe my expectations are different. Different as a 49 year old as opposed to a 9 year old. But having said that, I'm still pissed that they ruined the COVID of the magazine. The COVID of Reader's Digest always said, listen, you're not here for pictures, you're not here for frills. You can go to Better Housekeeping for that. You can go to Mad magazine for that if you want Tom Foolery. But you know what? Reader's Digest on the front cover of the magazine is going to be the table of contents. And it's not even going to use any kind of dynamic text. It is going to be just straightforward typewriter text with dots that tell you what page to find humor in uniform.
- [15:19]
A
And it was effective.
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B
It was.
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A
I'd be at school. I would be at school, and we'd have, you know, one of those little kind of like rotating carousel kind of book racks.
- [15:29]
B
Yes.
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A
And there would be so many Readers Digests in there, and I would be like, okay, well, which one has a particularly scintillating drama in real life? Because drama in real life was. I mean, it was everything to me as a. As a kid. I was. I would have read, and they probably did exist. I would have just read entire books that were just a series of. In fact, that's what a lot of books were for kids. Adventures that people go on. But I loved that it was real life. I love that it was someone had, you know, been in a plane crash and survived or, you know, been bitten by a shark or something. Like, I just was obsessed with drama in real life.
- [16:04]
B
I know I've said this on the show before, and I wish I had more dazzling details like if that I would remember the actual moment or the story that tipped me over the edge. But I was obsessed with trauma in real life as well, and. And I remember having a realization probably down in that little tiny bathroom that me and my dad shared in Valley City, Ohio. I remember reading one and getting to the end and being like, oh, they're always going to survive because the perspective is always from the person. It's. Yeah. And I don't know if that's totally true, but a vast majority of the ones I was reading was like, well, there is only one person experiencing this drama in real life. And so, you know, it's gonna turn out okay because they live to tell the story. Not that I'm sad that somebody lived to tell the story, but I do remember being a pretty little kid and, like, having this realization, which is probably somewhat fundamental to me understanding how the world and writing works.
- [16:57]
A
Speaking of drama in real life, Andrew, I was given the bums rush out of the Kaufman center for the Performing Arts yesterday here.
- [17:04]
B
Oh, yeah? What's up with that? I saw that on the show sheet, and I was very curious.
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A
I've. Well, I've learned something. I'm no Axel Foley. Okay. I am. I'm not good at sneaking into places anymore. I got kicked Out.
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B
What are the differences between you and Axel Foley?
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A
None come to mind. Specifically. I'm not a street smart cop from Detroit who's putting bananas in people's tailpipes.
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B
Well, well, the last part maybe, I don't know.
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A
Well, because I got kicked out of the rooftop pool area at my hotel in LA a few weeks ago because there was a. Because there was a get together for Nike and the Jordan brand and I just wanted to go sit by the pool and do my travel reports. And then so yesterday in the afternoon after my stuff was done, I had a little time to myself and I thought I was going to get out and just kind of explore Kansas City. By the way, what a cool town. Andrew, you would love this place. It is, it's this me because it's a, you know, it's a, I guess you could say a fairly old Midwest city. So it's just got these great signs and great old buildings. It's got this real kind of cool, you know, sort of prairie architecture vibe going on. But then it's also got a lot of new stuff and, and there's a lot of, you know, warehouses that have been converted into, into kind of cool new stuff. It's just like this, it strikes me as this really great combination of kind of old and, and new stuff. And it's just very kind of, you know, sort of salt of the earth kind of Midwest vibes out here.
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B
I've always wanted, for real, I've always just had a feeling that I would love that St. Louis, but I've never been to either. I want to visit.
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A
Definitely. Put it on your list, you and Veeves. If you're ever making your way through the Midwest, check out Kansas City. But from the gym in the hotel, it looks out on, among other things, the Kaufman center for the Performing Arts, which is an unbelievably cool building. It is like it was actually designed by an architect of the last name of Safdie, who I learned is like the uncle or something of the Safdie brothers who make the movies that I love so much. But it's just an, it's a really, really cool piece of architecture. So I decided I wanted to walk down and kind of check it out. So I walked over there and I was just kind of taking some pictures of the building and just admiring it. And then I noticed that people were going into the building and so I thought, well, maybe I'll. Maybe I'll go check it out and see if I can at least walk around the kind of main. I Guess you'd call it lobby area. One of the things that's so cool about this building is that from one side it's, it looks like chrome. Its main export is chrome, I believe. No, it's some kind of a. Maybe it's a stainless steel or something. But it's this incredible, beautiful sort of metallic kind of series of like half circles or whatever on one side. So it's totally kind of solid. But if you go around to the other side, it's all glass and it kind of looks out on Kansas City. It's just, again, it's such a cool design. So I'm walking down and I see that there's a security person. And what I'm going to say to her is, hey, do y' all do tours? And I know they're not going to be doing it, doing a tour at, you know, Wednesday at 4:30 or something, but I just thought maybe she would take pity on me and go, oh, you can go walk around in there or something. So I walk up to her and before I can ask if they do tours, she goes, oh, are you here for the event? And Andrew, I say, yes, I am. And she says, oh, just go right that way. And I look inside and I realize there's like a bunch of people that are kind of milling about drinking, you know, some white wine or whatever and there's a little kind of three piece band that's playing some music and it's some kind of a get together for. I'm not sure whom, but I figure, hey, I'm not gonna, it's not gonna bother anybody if I just come in and pretend I'm part of this group so I can just kind of wander around and just explore this kind of beautiful lobby area of this cool space. And so I walk in and I get like 10 steps in and some volunteer because his name tag said volunteer. It was like Steve, who's a volunteer guy who's a bit older than me, he's got, he's got a bunch of beaded necklaces as if it were Mardi Gras kind of thing, you know, he's got like a handful of them. And he's walking up to me and this is where I kind of lost my nerve. He said, oh, are you here for the event? And I should have just said yes, but there was something about lying to him that felt like I was going to get myself into a predicament that I couldn't quite get out of where he was going to ask me for my ticket. And then I Wasn't going to have. Was so easy to lie to the first security guard. She was ready to believe me. This guy, I felt was 5% more suspicious of me. And so I said, oh, no, I'm just here to take a look around the lobby. And he goes, oh, oh, yeah, this is a private event. You can't look around. You can't be in here. I was like, oh, okay. So, well, can I just go through that way? I go, I want to go to the other side and look at this sort of beautiful glass side of the Kaufman center. Can I. Is an area outside down that way. I'm pointing past him now that I can go and take some pictures. And he goes, well, no, you got to go back out the way you came. And this is where things are a problem, because I've only been in there for 45 seconds, if that. And now I got to go back through the same area with the same very nice security guard who I just lied to and said I was here for the party. But now I'm. Why would I leave the party after 45 seconds? So with my head down, like a kid in a Norman Rockwell painting who busted a window with a slingshot, I walk back out, and she goes, oh, you're leaving already? And I go, oh, yeah, I just wanted to kind of see the building. She goes, you weren't here for the party. Like, she was.
- [22:40]
B
Oh, see, this is Midwestern shock. Like, you just lied.
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A
You just.
- [22:46]
B
You just came from the big city and lied to me.
- [22:48]
A
I mean, I should have just lied. I should have just said I had diarrhea.
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B
You should have said I forgot something in my car.
- [22:54]
A
Oh, that would have been a better lie, because I was gonna say I got diarrhea and all the toilets are already plugged.
- [22:59]
B
I forgot my diarrhea in the car.
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A
I left my diarrhea in the car.
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B
Split the difference.
- [23:07]
A
So it was so shameful because I had to basically admit to her that I had. I mean, and I said all this as I was basically sprinting out of the. Out of the little kind of vestibule. Vestibule area. Anyway, like, I didn't want to stand in there with her. With her, you know, disappointment. I didn't want to hold space for that. So then I just. But then I still. I really did just want to see the building. It's fascinating. So then I go. I go around the building. Now I'm down on the kind of what you'd call the backside. So it's this huge glass, you know, side of the building, and I'm just kind of walking around by myself like a world class weirdo. And I'm just taking pictures of the building. And I realize that everyone who's in the party who saw me get kicked out is just looking at me.
- [23:52]
B
And we still don't know what the event was. I mean, that's the interesting thing about this.
- [23:56]
A
And I'm telling you, if Steve the volunteer hadn't have come up to me with the Mardi Gras beads.
- [24:03]
B
Yeah.
- [24:03]
A
No one would have been the wiser. I wasn't gonna have any of their white wine. I wasn't gonna listen to, wasn't gonna, like, steal any of their free music that they were playing. I wasn't gonna do anything weird. I wasn't gonna eat any of their snacks. I literally just wanted to walk around and kind of take this place in with my eyes because it's a phenomenal piece of architecture. I wasn't going to harm anyone, Steve.
- [24:25]
B
Well, that's my theory about why you couldn't lie to Steve. It was because he was a man and you respect men more than you respect women.
- [24:36]
A
I disrespect both.
- [24:37]
B
Would you like to comment? No. I think it's because you're just, you know, somebody says, are you here for the event? And you're like, yeah, but, you know, you're not going to sip any of that wine. You're not going to take any of those hors d'. Oeuvres. If somebody comes by slinging caps, as you like, to say thank you, you are just going to let them pass. Because, like, you know, this isn't. And you're not really here to mooch. This isn't a wedding crasher situation. But Steve shows up and you see that he has something akin to party favors. And this means that he is going to give you something. He's going to give you an object if and when you say yes. And that is a bridge too far in the moment, which I totally agree with. I. That's also where I would back down were I to find myself in this situation at all, which is doubtful.
- [25:19]
A
Yeah, I felt like if I said to him, yes, I am, he was. The next question was going to be like, oh, do you have your ticket? Or are you on the list? Or there was going to be some verification process, and that was where it was going to get extremely embarrassing.
- [25:32]
B
You didn't think I was just going to put the beads over your neck for real?
- [25:34]
A
Well, we'll never know because I, you know, I. I blew my own cover. He Might have. That's the thing. I'm. I have the exact wrong amount of confidence. If you think about it. Like, I'm confident enough to lie to the first person. A lot of people wouldn't. Wouldn't even lie to the first one. A lot of people wouldn't even go down to the security entrance because they know that, like, they don't have a ticket for the event. And what, like. But I have enough confidence to lie my way into the building, but then not enough confidence to double down to really, like, you know, to lie to Steve's face and then legit, like, more so I. It's funny because, you know what kind of the same thing happened to me with the security guy in the elevator at the Jordan thing, because remember, he told me, it's a private party, you can't go to it. And then I went up in a different elevator and then when I got kicked out, I had to go in the elevator that he was in.
- [26:25]
B
Yeah.
- [26:25]
A
I don't stare at the floor. I've been doing a lot of staring at the floor after being kicked out of places for somebody who's 49 years old.
- [26:32]
B
But on the other hand, you haven't, first of all, like, you know, in the, in the, in the world with a Mr. Beast, I would still say what you are doing is mild. And secondly, have you learned that so far nothing really bad has happened to you? I see you doing this more and more.
- [26:49]
A
Well, I think what we can learn is that white male privilege is massively overstated. To hear some people talk, they should have made me president of both events.
- [26:59]
B
What we need, they didn't. Here's what we need. This is a new thing on the show. This is a new audio element. And I'll try to cook it up. Okay? And it is gonna be a beep, beep, beeping sound of a truck backing up. And I am going to play that. I'm gonna play that. Every time I try to distance myself from you as I back away from a statement that you say we play it. When you talk about how people who back into parking spaces are Republican coded
- [27:21]
A
Girl Scout cookie feet, girl. I want.
- [27:26]
B
I want those beeps to be loud on these things.
- [27:29]
A
Yes, yes. I mean, I'll tell you, yes. This. My white male privilege was not enough to cause people in either of these scenarios to just assume I should have been there. So I'm going to take that as a slight positive. I mean, honestly, I'm glad that they were kicking me out because it means that they weren't Just assuming something about me because of how I appear.
- [27:48]
B
I crashed a party one time, like, legit.
- [27:50]
A
It sounds very unlike you.
- [27:51]
B
Crash a party. It is unlike me, but I did have, I don't know, a weird streak in me in college, where it was a real, like, well, just who gives a F. You know, like, let's just give it a shot. And we were. I was in college, but if I recall, I was with a group of college friends in Lakewood, Ohio, which was my stomping grounds in high school. And maybe I was. Maybe we had taken a trip because, you know, Kent and Cleveland, not that far away. Just like an hour or something like that. And so for some reason, I'm in Lakewood with some of my college friends, and we're going back to one of their apartments, and there's a raging party, like in one of those people who live in Lakewood, Ohio, which I assume is the majority of our audience at this point. Yeah, Lakewood has a lot of, like, kind of, I want to say an upper decker, but that. I think that's bathroom talk.
- [28:44]
A
That's what I tried to do at the Kaufman center for the Performing Arts before they kicked me out.
- [28:48]
B
We lived in. Me and my dad lived in one of these, because my dad owned one and rented it out. And then when my parents got divorced. Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm working through it. Me and my dad moved to Lakewood, and we lived in the bottom unit of it. It's these, like, cute little brick houses that are all very. I don't know how to describe the mother.
- [29:06]
A
Would you call it a split level?
- [29:08]
B
Yeah, like a split level. And basically, the upstairs and the downstairs are exactly the same, and they're two different units. And, you know, usually rental units, and somebody rents the upstairs and somebody rents the downstairs. Right. It's just. And they usually have these big front porches, and there's a porch on the front of the upper unit and the lower unit. So anyway, it's just this style of house that's very, very common in this part of the city. And I was there, and I remember there was a raging party that was going on on both porches. Front porch. And it was just some house party. And there were people around our age, but I didn't know anybody, and none of us did. But I think it was my idea. And this might have been getting to the part where I was like, I don't know if my friend has any beer back at his place. Like, it might. A little bit of a chasing of buzz, or it might have just been a chasing of the buzz of excitement, you know, And I was a little
- [30:03]
A
bit of liquid courage already in you, probably.
- [30:06]
B
And I do think that was with a girl that I was hanging out with a lot. And we were crushing on each other. We never really had a relationship, but I do think that. And she and I had already gotten smashing. Did I tell you that she and I had gotten in trouble for, like, walking into somebody's apartment one time late at night, saying, so this was during that period where I was just like, I don't know, if a door's unlocked, then I'm allowed to go in. I'm not defending this behavior. It was bullshit behavior. But anyway, so we just walked into this party. I don't think there was a keg. I think that we were taking beer from the fridge. And then finally, it's because I was just like, who's going to ask? Like, at a party like this, it's so big and cacophonous and music is playing, and nobody's going to, like, you know, there's nobody at the door checking IDs or tickets. And so we were there for a little bit. But then somebody did ask who we were. And I think me and my friend. And I think this was Ryan, and I think we got a little bit too clever or giggly or something. We were trying to be too cute about it. And I think somebody's like, you don't belong here. And if I recall, this is all a very, very vague memory. So there's. If any of my friends remember this, they might remember it differently. But I feel like I was surprised at the reaction from the people who were there because I don't think I was talking to, like, a homeowner or, like, the person who was renting it or probably.
- [31:28]
A
These people were probably 21 years old, if.
- [31:30]
B
If that. And there were other.
- [31:31]
A
Which is kind of interesting.
- [31:32]
B
They were just other partygoers. But I remember. I feel like it was maybe me and Ryan and maybe Nicole. And then we run into, like, this woman, and she. Or girl, you know, she's like our age. And she says, well, who are you guys? And then very quickly, the jig is up. And then. But I just think that they're gonna be like, who cares? Like, hang around. We're all the same age. We're all just doing. We're all just partying. But I remember her being like, you can't be here or something like that. Like, it was like. It was pretty much. Yeah, yeah, it was Pretty much. It became kind of uncomfortable and we're like, all right, leave. Like, we didn't.
- [32:02]
A
Years later, she would change her name to Steve and work at the Kaufman Center.
- [32:06]
B
That's. That's right.
- [32:07]
A
Performing arts.
- [32:08]
B
She had beads. I remember she had beads. That's all I remember about that. Yeah. Anyway, it'd be interesting to know how my beads. It'd be interesting to know how much of that I got right, because I. I'm. I have more and more memories like that, which I know that that happened, but I have no idea how many details I got right at all, including whether or not we were in Lakewood. I'm pretty damn sure we were in Lakewood, though. I think. I think what it was was my friend had already graduated college and we were visiting him in his post college apartment in Lakewood. Now it's all coming together. I'll text him after the show.
- [32:37]
A
I told you that, like, when I lived in LA with my first wife, we had a party at our place in Echo Park. That was one of those things where there were so many people there. I didn't, you know, I didn't know who most of them were. It was in my own home, so certainly I wasn't going around going like, and who are you? And how are you know, who invited you? Cause it was just like, it was just a big party. And I know I've told this story before, but eventually, at like, I don't know, three in the morning, everyone's finally gone. And this is the weird part. I feel my memory is that I was maybe in my underwear at this point. Not. Not that I was in my underwear at the party, but maybe everyone had left. And I don't know if I had gone to bed or definitely was into my cups, but I have this vivid memory of being in my own kitchen. I think I was eating a hot dog with no bun because I was starving. And I hadn't eaten during the party because I was entertaining everyone. And I remember hearing people coming up, like, the stairs to the house, people who I did not know who had clearly just heard about this raging party in Echo Park. And I remember hiding in my own kitchen so that they would go away because I was so tired and I didn't want to party. And there was. Everything was consumed at this point. But I just remember being in my own kitchen in Echo park, hiding from people who I didn't know who were there to attend a party at my house. They must have heard about through the
- [33:52]
B
grapevine, just sitting on the floor. I Know that feeling sitting on the
- [33:55]
A
floor, on the floor of the kitchen.
- [33:57]
B
I do not want anybody to see any movement in here. If I move, can they hear me breathing?
- [34:02]
A
Exactly. It was a very stressful time. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark.
- [34:10]
B
On your mark. Get set, get set now.
- [34:13]
A
Ready? Ready? Go, everybody. Razzle dazzle. All right. It's that time where we thank some dazzling donors. These are the wonderful, incredible, generous people who are donating to this show completely voluntarily. They don't have to do this, but they like the show. They want it to keep going. And so they're dazzling us with their donation of dough. And we want to start by thanking Sarah Woodruff with an h. Makes it the post covenant biblical. Spelling and pronunciation. Or like Gloucester. Dealer's choice, of course.
- [34:51]
B
Gloucester is spelled like it would be pronounced Gloucester or Gloucester. It's one of those new Englandy words. Gloucester.
- [34:59]
A
Sarah is in Silver Spring, Maryland.
- [35:03]
B
Luke, I'm not gonna interrupt. I'm not gonna be disrespectful to Sarah, okay? But I did text my friend Orion, see how much that was true. And he is. I'm still. He's writing. He sent me a couple of text messages. He's writing more now. I'm getting those little bouncing balls. I am very excited to share with you some of the intel that I'm receiving after the dazzling donors. If time allows.
- [35:27]
A
Okay. Sarah's in Silver Spring, Maryland. Of course. I believe the story goes that when Stevie Nicks wrote the song Silver Spring, it was cause she literally saw those words on, like, a freeway sign. Like a highway sign for Silver Spring, Maryland. Which is a strangely prosaic origin story to what I think of as being like, a phenomenal song. Greetings to the business boys and the whole amazing Tens community. I had the privilege of writing a dazzling donor message last year because I was sufficiently employed to do so. And I knew there would be a gap between writing it and when it would be read. So I felt very unsure of what to write. Boy, howdy, does that feel like small potatoes here in 2026. That reminds me, I'm very hungry right now. Andrew. I could go for some. A few small potatoes. However, Sarah says I have also been fortunate enough to change jobs since then, remaining not only fully employed, but no longer feeling like a husk, which is amazing. Aw, Sarah, I'm so happy for you. I am totally pro people having jobs that do not make them feel like a husky. So congratulations. As a Queer woman married to a trans woman. In between us having an interesting grouping of racially mixed, neurodivergent kids. The current state of the union feels weak. Sarah. I can only imagine that sounds. I mean, you know, it's a disturbing enough place for somebody like me who up until recently thought I was at the top of the pyramid of privilege. Andrew. But I've learned that's not the case.
- [36:55]
B
No, you've stated earlier that white male privilege doesn't exist.
- [37:04]
A
Sarah says, however, the current state of the tens union feels strong. We will lean into our community of mutual aid. We will stand for what is right even when we vary on the exact details behind the scenes. And we will be the better. We will be the better for the variation in our midst. What y' all do is indeed so important. Power up and power out, man. That was the pep talk I needed.
- [37:27]
B
Yeah. Today from Sarah.
- [37:29]
A
Thank you, Sarah, and wishing you and your family the very best in these incredibly stressful, stressful times. And thanks again for supporting the show. And congrats on not being a husk anymore. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.
- [37:45]
B
Get set, get set now.
- [37:47]
A
Ready, ready, go. Everybody rattle dazzle. Well, look who it is. It's Asha and Cameron Little in beautiful Taos, New Mexico.
- [37:58]
B
Nice. Hey.
- [38:00]
A
I don't think I've ever been to Taos, New Mexico, but it sounds lovely. Everything I've heard about Taos, New Mexico is it is about as beautiful as a place could possibly be. Asha and Cameron start the message. Well, well, well. Look who's back. Where, where, where? Look who's back.
- [38:17]
B
What is that from?
- [38:18]
A
I do not. I think it was just a kind of a random person on the Internet. I think I needed. This was back when I sometimes would just be like, well, I need to find a drop. I need to find audio that establishes some sort of messaging. And I think maybe, you know, we were back from something or I was back, or who knows? And so I think that was just one of those rare times where I just went hunting for a specific audio the day of the show, and that's what I found. But it is a pretty funny, weird.
- [38:45]
B
It is. Yeah. I thought it would have more of an origin story.
- [38:49]
A
No, it was like the song Silver Spring by Stevie Nicks. I just looked on the side of the road and there was a sign that said, well, well, well, look who's back. I like that. Asia and Cameron seem to like it, though. They put it in their message. In October 2025, Cameron started a new job at Kagi. That's Kagi with a hard G. If anyone is looking for better search engine, a better search engine that doesn't mind your personal data, consider checking them out. It's Kagi dot com. That's K a G I dot com. Yeah, I could use that. I told you of just really fraking. I've just, I've lost the, I've lost
- [39:27]
B
the battle with the AI overview stuff.
- [39:31]
A
Well that I've just surrendered on. And also just like the cookies thing because I. It's such a gift when the website says necessary only and I click on it and then it lets me go by my merry way. But when it's like except, you know, let us take all of your info or manage preferences, it's like I don't want to manage my. I don't want to to have to do five more clicks now about what I will and won't let you have. And they know that too, those so and so's that's why we should all be using such as Kagi, which is where Cameron works.
- [40:04]
B
I'm looking at it now actually. It's pretty interesting. They kind of show you like look over a search and we've gotten so used to it. I think this is actually this side by side example that they show using screen caps is interesting because they say here's searches that serve ads to you. And it's just like it looks like this is a usual Google result. And I've gotten so used to. There was a time, a long time ago where if you saw a sponsored ad at the top of your Google search, it was sort of like, oh wow, all right, look, they're really doing it, huh? And now we've just gotten so used to the fact that like the first several responses are just going to be sponsored, sponsored, sponsored and then there's going to be some sort of AI thing and then. What did I click on the other day? Google is now trying to keep you in the Googleverse with movie information. Instead of linking to IMDb it takes you to some like Google movie page, which sucks now. And then next to it is this is it Kagi? Is that how we're saying it? How did you say G? And it's just, it's clean. It's like the good old days, Luke. And you know what? I'm always looking for the good old days. Reader's Digest and coggy.
- [41:03]
A
That's right. Two great tastes that taste great together.
- [41:06]
B
That's right.
- [41:08]
A
In 2026, fellow 10 Mike Mead became Asha's boss. Mike, keep paying Asha the big Buck so she can keep up with the podcast fees. Mike.
- [41:19]
B
No kidding, that's awesome.
- [41:21]
A
We love to hear it. That's some real vertical integration. There's Asha working with Mike and then Mike is paying Asha the money and then Asha is. Asha and Cameron are sending the money this way. We really do appreciate it. Asha is extremely cheered by the tens who bought some of her ceramics from her tradio call out. I remember that she's making more pottery than her house, than their house can hold. So if you want some 10 created art, checkout her website. It's ashalittle.com and Asia is spelled A I, S H A and then little. We all know how that word is spelled. Dot com. Also shout out to Cameron's parents and fellow tens, Michelle and Larry. Little. Gosh, what a. What a. What a sort of. What do we call this, Andrew? A collection of listeners. I don't know if I've ever heard of such a thing. Somebody whose boss listens and whose parents are listening or in laws are listening. Like, like this is great. It's a family, a constellation, A family.
- [42:18]
B
That's the word I'm using.
- [42:19]
A
Framily.
- [42:19]
B
It's a framily.
- [42:22]
A
Love makes a framily. Andrew, I think that we all, we all know that all is well in the land of enchantment, which is New Mexico's state nickname. Best wishes to all other listeners. Hope you're finding your own pockets of Enchantment, wherever you may be. These have been really like inspirational, dazzling donors today. Asia and Cameron, thank you so much for supporting the show. It really means a lot to us and we couldn't be here without you.
- [42:52]
B
Hello and welcome to Top Story.
- [42:55]
A
I don't know if you saw this story when it kind of made the rounds like a week or so ago, but a woman abandoned her unbelievably cute golden doodle at the airport in Las Vegas because she had not done the. Filed the proper paperwork to bring the dog. And the dog is not a service dog. And so she gets to the like check in counter and they tell her you can't bring your dog because you don't have the paperwork. And so she just apparently like tied the dog to like one of the stanchions and just. And I know you can't open the link, Andrew, but like I tried to send it to you in a special format because the story was in the last but I don't know why.
- [43:36]
B
Yeah, the PDF got corrupted somehow in transfer up.
- [43:40]
A
I'm sorry, I know I'm off mic.
- [43:42]
B
It's okay.
- [43:42]
A
Because I needed two hands for this. I'm going to just send you this picture.
- [43:45]
B
Okay.
- [43:46]
A
And. And then I'm going to. I'm. Let's see. Okay. There we go. I'm sending it to you. I think. No, it didn't work. Anyway. I do not understand how when you look at this doggy's face and look. All dogs go to heaven. All dogs are cute, but this dog is undeniably stinking adorable. And the fact that this person who owned this dog, she just walked away from it and just went to go get on her flight is just absolutely shocking. Again, I don't think there's any dogs that ever should be abandoned at the airport, but this one just seems like. Could you imagine I just texted you the picture. Can you imagine this dog looking at you as you walked away from it?
- [44:27]
B
Oh, no.
- [44:29]
A
I mean, it's just absolutely ludicrous.
- [44:31]
B
The good news.
- [44:32]
A
I think the good part of the story is. Well, one good thing is that they didn't let the woman get on the plane. I believe she was arrested and she's facing, like, animal cruelty.
- [44:39]
B
Good. It is cruelty.
- [44:41]
A
It is. And. And then they didn't give her the dog back either, which is kind of. I mean, again, that's how it should have gone. But, like, talk about. Talk about really screwing yourself over. So not only did this woman not make her flight.
- [44:54]
B
Yeah.
- [44:54]
A
But she basically got her dog taken away for this behavior. And I think it was something like the article said, something like 27,000 people reached out to try to adopt the dog, who's now been nicknamed JetBlue. So they took the dog away from her. A dog rescue group took in the Goldendoodle, by the way. I guess she could have gotten the dog back, they said, after the owner failed to claim him after 10 days. So this did not actually necessarily mean that this woman was gonna lose possession of the dog, but she didn't even come to get the dog within 10 days. And so then the dog was, I guess, available. And thousands and thousands of people reached out to try to. 2700. Excuse me. More than 2700 people from across the world applied to adopt JetBlue, according to the. The. The Retriever Rescue of Las Vegas, that they were the ones taking care of her. But JetBlue has been adopted by the police officer who was responding to the case. The police officer is the hilariously named Skeeter Black.
- [46:07]
B
I love a Skeeter.
- [46:09]
A
Skeeter Black who responded to the call. And I guess, you know, maybe you get to cut to the front of the line, if you're one of the police or something, who responded. Because, you know, a lot of people wanted this doggo Skeeter Black. Officer Skeeter Black was the one who adopted him. And I guess, you know, all's well that ends well. I mean, this was, again, I think of, I'm going to assume a good outcome for JetBlue for the dog, because who knows what else, what other thoughtless ways that this previous owner was treating this little dog. The reason that this actually was interesting to me, really, was because it leads into the question that I've been meaning to ask you for a while, Andrew, which is, is there any movement in the dog department with you and Veeves? At one point, you were sort of saying you might start fostering a dog or you guys were kind of on the.
- [46:53]
B
The.
- [46:54]
A
On the long sort of long term path towards dog. Do we say ownership?
- [47:00]
B
I.
- [47:00]
A
Do we not say that. Dog ownership. Okay.
- [47:03]
B
Yeah, yeah. No, but it's. This has been the plan forever. And I swear I've said this a bunch. We just have been waiting until after we get back from Hawaii because we had this Hawaii trip book, like, more than half a year ago. It's been on the books forever. And so that's when we started, you know, looking at dogs. But we always knew we did not want to adopt a dog.
- [47:21]
A
Gotcha.
- [47:22]
B
Before this trip. But Genevieve was doing a lot of looking at, um, you know, the. The dogs, like, kind of like she was on various dog dating apps. I wish I hadn't put it that way. I thought it was gonna be funnier. Instead, it made me feel gross. But she's on a lot of those apps where you can kind of look at dogs, you can filter for, like, this is what we're looking for. We definitely need a dog that's good with cats. We were leaning probably towards not a puppy, but a dog that's maybe a couple years old and has a proven track record with cats that matches our. You know, it's funny, one thing I'm learning is Genevieve is a little bit more particular about the size and shape of the dog than. It turns out she does not want a kind of a. A stubby legged dog. I love me a little stubby legged dog that sort of waddles around, but I guess that's not like Corgi. Yeah. No, I mean, I don't mean, you know, what am I thinking of? Yeah, what's like, I need to look up corgis. I'm not really good with knowing dog names. Dogs are like cars to me. Like, I'm not kind of. Yeah, like, yeah, a corgi would be a little small for me, but that style of leg and body, you know, because you might get, you know, a dog that has, you know, know various genetic backgrounds and so. Yeah, but like, I kind of like that look of a little stubby leg dog. Genevieve would probably say, no, that's not for me. But on the other hand, like, I'm not somebody who really likes like shepherds or huskies or anything. And Genevieve likes that. So we're just gonna find some.
- [48:44]
A
They shed a lot too, by the way, is one thing about.
- [48:46]
B
Yes, and I hear that. And those types of dogs are the dogs that have the oil that maybe can make them stink a little bit more. I've heard. I don't know if that's true or not. And that's my big thing I was talking to Hannah about this on Spotless, is I really want a dog. That. And I don't know if this is impossible, but I mean, some dogs enjoy getting a bath, right? It would be nice for me if I had a dog. And I know, by the way, you shouldn't over clean dogs. I'm not going to do to the dogs what I'm doing to my own body, which is giving myself skin conditions by spending too much time just get
- [49:20]
A
clean at all costs.
- [49:22]
B
Speaking of Reader's Digest.
- [49:23]
A
Well, that's recommended by doctors.
- [49:24]
B
Do you know that that was my move too? I would. In this little bathroom downstairs in the house I grew up in. Me and my dad shared this little downstairs, kind of cruddy bathroom that had like a stall shower sort of, you know what I mean? And just had a shower curtain. And I had this huge stack of aforementioned Reader's Digests that my grandma had given me. And they sit on the back of the toilet. And I would do this move where I would just stay in that shower forever and stick my hand outside the curtain with the Reader's Digest in my hand as I'm reading. Like Humor in Uniform or whatever. Like, I would do that. And then the magazines was of course, get kind of splashed and kind of puff up a little bit. And then I think one time my dad kind of came in and caught me doing it and kind of shut the whole thing down. He ended up making me put a timer on the sink. And I was only allowed to take like five minute showers, which is fair enough. I shouldn't be. To me, Luke, a bathroom is like a library with like a. Like a chilly seat, like a Cold seat.
- [50:27]
A
That's a good line.
- [50:28]
B
That's an observation.
- [50:29]
A
Solid line. Observational humor, to be honest with you, of the. When you hear a story about a dad opening the bathroom door and his teenage son is holding some sort of
- [50:39]
B
a magazine in the bathroom, the Reader's
- [50:41]
A
Digest story is pretty tame.
- [50:43]
B
It's not usually a Reader's digest magazine from 1967.
- [50:48]
A
That's pretty tame.
- [50:50]
B
That's a really good point. Anyway, so I do. So I want to layer. Don't worry, I'm not going to give him a bath every day. But it would be fun for me if we had a dog who likes to take a bath because I have this, you know, my basement bathtub shower situation. It has like a. It has a. One of those detachable nozzles or whatever. We have a perfect situation for that. It'd really bum me out if I had a dog who just hates that. But anyway, it's hard to filter for dogs who like baths. I don't know why.
- [51:20]
A
I like the idea of you just auditioning dogs and it's like the first thing they get to your house. Okay, let's take a shower.
- [51:27]
B
Yes. Right. Yeah.
- [51:29]
A
That's the first KPI you need from them is that they enjoy that. I mean, you know, it's kind of funny that you say that because it's very, like, old school, this idea of like, you know, giving your dog a bath. Because I think a lot of people, certainly with Rudy, we would just take Rudy to the place where they do that. I think a lot of people have now started to sort of, you know, subcontract that out. You take your dog somewhere and then they just wash your dog for you. Oh, yeah, that's.
- [51:52]
B
I mean, how often are you doing that, though? They gotta wash a dog, like, you know, at least once every couple of weeks or something. Or something. Right.
- [51:58]
A
I mean, I don't know what the. I'm not an expert on that. I don't think we took Rudy every couple. I'd say maybe once a month or something. I don't know how often Gigi gets. I mean, Gigi gets. Gets washed and groomed. I don't know. Every, like every few months.
- [52:10]
B
I guess it depends on the breed. I'm looking at this. It depends on the breed, but it sort of seems like four to six weeks is more likely. So I was. So, for me, trying to allay the fears of the listeners that I'm going to give this future dog a skin disease by washing it too much or a skin condition. Don't worry. It's going to be bald. I'm going to read. I'm to. Going, going to. It's going to be so patchy. No, no, no. I'm going to take care of this dog. I will say this, and this is a little bit hard to put into words, but we have been, again, this plan has been on the books for so long now. And again, I feel like going on a year that we kind of decided to do this and what our timeline would be. And Genevieve again was kind of going through the dog sites and looking and sort of like getting a feel for what works for us and what doesn't a long time ago. And she sort of cooled off on that for a while. But we've been, I don't know, this whole. The past year for me and us has felt very sort of not tumultuous is too strong of a word. But there's just been a lot of change. Just like a lot of kind of. Yeah, I guess, I mean, kind of tumult or churn going on in our lives. And not all of it bad, a lot of it good. But this has been like sort of a date on the calendar that, like, our life is going to change significantly. I mean, I think some people are much more casual. I would say there are some people I know who just, like, kind of get dogs on a whim when they're visiting and just leave them in the airport or with their ex.
- [53:32]
A
Some people, yeah. Some people have a dog they got because they were taping a podcast in Los Angeles.
- [53:37]
B
Yeah, that's. I couldn't remember. I knew he was in California somewhere. But for me, I am thinking, like, you know, first of all, we love our cat Bingo so much, but we loved Bananas, our previous cat, a lot, too. And as much as we are so happy that we brought Bingo into our life, it will stay with us forever. That bringing Bingo into this house had a negative impact on Professor Bananas. I'm not saying that we regret bringing Bingo into the house, but Bananas was very, very anxious for a couple of months after bringing Bingo home. She had, like, she had given up her places of comfort around the house and was, like, always sitting on the edge of this couch, like, just always kind of at alert or whatever. And, you know, she and Bingo, I think had she lived another year, they'd probably be snuggle buddies by this point. But it bummed us out to see her in any kind of distress. And right now we have such a great balance in the house with me, Veeves and this Cat that we adore
- [54:38]
A
and ceiling Cat dote on too much.
- [54:40]
B
Yeah, he's still acting a little crazy, to be honest with you. But anyway. And so it is such a huge concern for us that we do anything that would make him anxious or change his personality in some way, especially in a negative way away. But we've known that we're going to do it right. We're going to do our homework. We'll bring a dog home to foster for a while if need be, with knowing that we can have a system where if it doesn't work out for Bingo, we can return that dog until we find the right one. And so I trust us that we're going to do this smartly. But as we get closer and closer to this vacation, I got to say, I don't want to make it sound like I'm too anxious about it, but it's almost like I'm looking past the vacation a little bit because then it's like dog time. And then we're really going to. To like, wow, we are going to change the dynamic of this house. And again, maybe I'm overstating it, and maybe this just speaks to my personality where other people are like, listen, it's a dog. You work it out. But it's like, it is a dog, and we will work it out, but we want to do it right. And Veeves and I are two people who don't have kids, have lived on our terms for so long, that this is going to be a big change for us. And so I'm looking forward to it. But also, sometimes as I pet Bingo or play with Bingo, I just sort of think like, we just want to make sure that we're not saying goodbye to this phase of our life of. Of, you know what the three. It sounds so corny, but whatever. We're a little family, and I don't want that to change too much.
- [56:08]
A
Yeah, no, I mean, listen, we are at opposite ends of the spectrum on this. And the fact that I have a total of three dogs that I was once the co owner of that I then I still have, you know, I'm still on visiting terms with Rudy, I guess, you know, in photographs and the like. But, yeah, I think I've probably been a little casual about it in my life, and. And you're obviously really, really taking it seriously, which is, I think, probably a good thing. I think everyone will have a better experience from you being thoughtful about this. There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll. You can't Just listen to. To your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing but.
- [57:07]
B
All right, Luke, before we get into the blurses, we got to get into something even more important, which is how right was my memory about crashing that party? Oh, yeah, in Lakewood. So I told you that I was pretty sure it was my friend Ryan who was there. And you remember all the details. I won't waste time by trying to reiterate what I said just 20 minutes ago, but I did write to Ryan a moment ago, and I just said I'm reminiscing with a friend and telling a story that might not be accurate. Do you remember you, me, and Nicole and maybe someone else crashing a party in Lakewood? So that's all the details I gave Ryan. And I again was thinking that Ryan was out of college at this point and living nearby, which is why we were all in Lakewood. And here's what Ryan said without any more prompting from me than what I just told you. Yes. Did we go to the second story balcony? And didn't a blond girl who lived in the house scold me for taking their beer after she gave me her number? I didn't remember that part. Good for you, Ryan. And then telling me not to call her. I recall our friend Orvis being there that evening, too. Now, yes, Orvis was the fourth party, or the fourth person in this party. He said the house was near Clifton Boulevard in Lakewood. I had an apartment nearby. I said, yes. This is exactly what I was saying on the show. I didn't mention Clifton, but that scans us in Lakewood. And then I got permission to read this part. Ryan just also wrote, I was so thrilled to get a girl's entrance. And then she saw that I ran with a group of party crashing degenerates and wisely chose to remain single. I used to park my truck on her street, and she'd pretend not to know me if I ran into her. So, wow. That party crashing idea I had really, really salted his game more than I realized.
- [58:54]
A
Well, first of all, good memory. You got pretty much all of that.
- [58:58]
B
Pretty psyched about that, honestly.
- [59:00]
A
But I'm also. I want to know more about this woman because, you know, as the Elvis Mitchell of public radio, the bad boy, as a certified bad boy, as the bad boy of pet adoption, in that I'm not on speaking terms with any of the pets that I adopt,
- [59:15]
B
you
- [59:15]
A
would think if she was interested enough in your friend, like she Thought your friend was cute or whatever to give him the number. The mere fact that, okay, we're not technically invited to this party, you'd think
- [59:26]
B
that would be just kind of sexy.
- [59:29]
A
Kind of sexy?
- [59:30]
B
Because I don't know. Well, what I'm realizing now is I said earlier, this is one part I got wrong. I said that we were scolded by a party goer, not the person throwing the party. But I guess according to Ryan here, no, that was the person who was throwing the party because she was his neighbor down the street. And so I guess there is a different dynamic there when you're like, wait, this is my house, this is my space, and Strandos are walking in off the street. That's a little bit different, I guess.
- [59:57]
A
But I need to know, did she give him her number at the party before realizing he wasn't supposed to be there?
- [60:03]
B
Oh, I'm getting that impression. Yes, I think so. I think he got the number at the party.
- [60:08]
A
I remain so surprised by that outcome because I would just think if you were interested enough to give someone your phone number, the mere fact that they technically didn't have an official invite would be water under the bridge at that point. And it certainly wouldn't be like, leave and lose my number and I'm gonna pretend I don't know you for the rest of the. This was a person who really, really pushes back on the notice on the notion of party crashing.
- [60:32]
B
Yeah, I guess so. I could see that though it's your personal space. You're a young woman. These like, you know, totally random long hairs. I don't think, all respect to Ryan, I don't think he had long hair, but I'm sure that you know what I mean. I probably look like a nightmarescape walking.
- [60:50]
A
You're probably wearing a very, very form fitting shirt.
- [60:53]
B
I was wearing a huge, huge flannel. I'm sure that we all could have of like ducked into and hid if need be.
- [61:00]
A
But that was the problem is you, Olsen, twinsed into the party. Just three of you on that plane.
- [61:04]
B
So anyway, I do need to get to the blurzes. I know we're a little bit tight in time, but I was pretty con. I was pretty. Congrats. I was pretty congrats on getting those right. If anybody in our listening audience would like to wish themselves or somebody else a happy birthday or blurs day, you can email me andrewbtl.net and put Blursday in the subject line. We got this note from Emma. This is coming all the way from Sydney, Australia. So it Might. The line might break up a little bit here when I read it because that's far away. But Emma says, I would like to wish a very happy blursday to super lovely Anne in Poulsbo. Anne, thank you so much for your friendship.
- [61:46]
A
Aw, that's nice.
- [61:47]
B
Very nice. Friendship from across the globe. Kevin says, I want to wish my wife. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't respect the text. Kevin says, I want to wish my wife, Sarah in Bellingham the very happiest 47th Blurs Day ever. Her Blurs Day is on March 4th, the only day that is also a command. March 4th. So hopefully this isn't a classic TBTL. Too bad, too late message. Oh, do we? Is that a classic tbtl? I think most people are getting their messages in on time. Sarah is a wonderful partner who brings joy and sparkles to my life and is the best cat mom to her two fur babies, Wander and Aurora. I think they are planning a success.
- [62:34]
A
That's something you like to do, Andrew.
- [62:35]
B
I like to wander, Aurora.
- [62:37]
A
Yeah.
- [62:37]
B
Are these cats named after me? Good call, Luke. Let's see here. Kevin says, I think the cats are planning a special counter dance just for your blurs day. Enjoy the love. Cats are doing counter dances. That's when you do a dance and then I counter with my own dance.
- [62:55]
A
Not to be confused with contra dancing.
- [62:57]
B
No, very different.
- [62:58]
A
Which I know some people were really into a wild.
- [63:01]
B
That's a New England thing, right? Or was it just hot when I lived in New England? Contradicting.
- [63:05]
A
I think it was. I don't know the origins of it, but I know that it was also happening in the West Coast. It was. I think at the same time that you were. People were talking about contra dancing. I think people were doing it out where I was as well. Never went to one, but people seem to like it.
- [63:20]
B
What a fiddle it looks like. All right, Sorry. I'm on my dazzling donor page now. Let's see here. Did we do Elizabeth's message? No, we didn't. Elizabeth says a massive shout out and happiest of happy birthdays to the best boyfriend and dad in the whole world. Wishing you.
- [63:41]
A
Wow, it's a weird sound.
- [63:42]
B
It is Wishing you a wonderfully spoiled day today, Monty. I can't wait to spend many, many more days celebrating you. I love you. Love, Elizabeth. Levi says, I just found out that today is Nick and Tacoma's birthday. Hey, Nick.
- [63:59]
A
A buddy, Nick.
- [64:00]
B
I don't know him well, but as a fellow 10 denizen of the politics and music for your weekend Slack channels, Senate Dem complainer and carer about local music. He's clearly a stellar individual with his heart in the right place. Happy blue day to our boy Nick.
- [64:18]
A
Nice. And it's dangerously good.
- [64:23]
B
Let's see here. Dave says in lieu of or in addition to this birthday wish to my actual brother Denny is a couple of jokes from Orla and Ruby. Oh, you know what? I think this might have been an attachment. I'm sorry, I do not have the attachment. But I guess Dave is going to be sending Denny some jokes from nieces. And it says, happy birthday, Den. Hope the drive from culturally Edmonds to wintry Leavenworth goes smoothly. Here's to a great start to your 41st year jalapeno.
- [64:54]
A
Happy Blurs day.
- [64:56]
B
Happy Blurs day. We got one more here. This is from Brian who says, I want to wish Ryan's neighbor in the Clinton area of Lakewood happy birthday. Boy, this is really. Things are really coming together today. Boy, with that surprise, surprise, surprise drop. Brian says, I want to wish a happy blursday to Sarah. The best. The best sister in law, TBTL descendant, a TBTL daddy could ever hope for, and the best adopter of feral cats a guy could ever hope for.
- [65:27]
A
Whoa.
- [65:28]
B
If this gets read after your government blurs, it's definitely not that I sent it in late. It's because your TBTL family agrees that birthdays should be month long celebrations. Happy birthday, Sarah. And that's it.
- [65:43]
A
Excellent.
- [65:43]
B
That's it. That's the blurs days. That's the show. That's me. Yeah, I'm done. All right, I'm out of here.
- [65:48]
A
Happy blurs day, everybody.
- [65:49]
B
Yeah.
- [65:50]
A
And yeah, that is gonna do it for today's episode. But guess what? We are gonna be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. A big Friday edition of the program. So please do tune on in for that. It'll be my last show from here in beautiful Kansas City. So we'll see you then. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.
- [66:13]
B
And good luck to all. Power out.