#4685 Get On Borg! - TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Transcript

A (0:00)

Ah, look at that kooky old cookie jar.

B (0:03)

You like cookie jars, Kenneth?

A (0:05)

Well, I guess I've never thought about it that much. We had a nice one back home in Georgia. Had a bear on it. I remember when my mom's friend Ron would come over, they'd go into the bedroom to sort out their paperwork, and I'd just go ahead and stare at that cookie jar. It was almost as if I took every problem that I ever had and I put it inside that cookie jar and I sealed it up so tight that nothing would never, ever, ever get out. So I guess to answer your question, I'd give cookie jars about a B, T, B, T, L.

B (0:51)

I'm starting my own podcast. Hey, that could be fun.

A (0:53)

All right, everybody, who's ready to laugh? Yeah, I can't hear you. That's not true, of course, but cheer louder. Yeah.

B (1:02)

Are you seriously detaining me again?

A (1:04)

Am I being rendered? No, you're being friendered. So just please accept our compulsory hospitality. If you had a favorite saying, what would it be? Life's a party. Rock your body. It stinks.

B (1:18)

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

A (1:26)

That was the fanciest sentence I've ever heard. And I used to watch Frasier.

B (1:30)

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Shame on everybody involved. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty and still muddy Columbia, where it's raining outside just a little bit. But mostly I'm focused today on the fact that it's March 17th. It's St. Patrick's Day.

A (1:52)

I ever ask you to put on a pair of green tights, walk away.

B (1:57)

Huge amount of pressure on the Hawk Squad text chain to represent with the green clothing. It's a big thing for my mom, of course, Susan Kelly, her maiden name being Irish and all, or of Irish descent. So let's see. Let's just run through the list here. Started with my mom wishing everybody a St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. DFTB asking if everyone's wearing green. My sister Liz, checking in from her high school teaching job in all green. Looking good, sis. Yours truly, LB checking in with the green pants and the Adidas. I love that. I just showed that to nobody, I guess. My dad taking literally one of the worst selfies I've ever seen in my life. He has a green shirt underneath his flannel, saying, there. Are you happy now? And then my brother David Checking in with the green jacket and a green Sonic's hat. So that's the update on what everybody in my family is wearing today here on. On the 17th of March. I guess that pretty much does it for the show. So anyway, we'll be back here tomorrow. Jk. Let the fun begin. We've got a lot of show left to do because it's episode 4685 in a collector series and it's jam packed with content. A lot of it is leprechaun related though.

Summary

TBTL #4685 “Get On Borg!” — March 17, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

Episode Overview

In this St. Patrick’s Day edition, Luke and Andrew navigate family traditions, viral internet oddities, and real-world woes—from the 20th anniversary of the legendary Crichton Leprechaun to the growing “Borg” (Blackout Rage Gallon) party phenomenon. There’s also a heartfelt reflection on personal connection to holidays, a listener memorial, and a candid look at the unexpected challenges facing Andrew’s upcoming Hawaii trip. The tone is humorous, self-deprecating, and occasionally poignant, true to the TBTL spirit.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. St. Patrick’s Day Family Rituals & Green Clothing (01:26–03:11)

Luke recounts the family group text, a parade of green outfit selfies, as his mom, sister, and brother report in. His dad, less enthused, submits “one of the worst selfies I’ve ever seen.”
Andrew admits to "accidentally" wearing green. Both reminisce about childhood and culturally ambivalent approaches to the holiday.

Memorable Quotes

Luke: “Shame on everybody involved.” (01:30)
Andrew: “I did sort of accidentally wear green. I don’t usually go in for celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, I promise.” (04:12)
Luke: “It’s never been something where I was like, ‘We gotta go out and get just absolutely ripped tonight because it’s St. Patrick’s Day.’ Because, like you said… getting ripped was an everyday possibility.” (20:33)

2. The Crichton Leprechaun Turns 20 (03:14–04:05)

Luke marks the two-decade anniversary of the viral Mobile, Alabama “leprechaun” news clip, teasing a New York Times retrospective that lends new context.

Notable Moment

Andrew: “In all seriousness, to me, it look like a leprechaun. To me.” (03:11)
Luke: “Twenty years ago, my friends, we were playing and delighting in the audio of the Crichton Leprechaun.” (03:14)

3. "Borg" (Blackout Rage Gallon) Culture Explainer (07:00–13:06)

Luke explains the rise of "Borg"—gallon jugs of vodka, electrolytes, and dye—especially as a St. Paddy's trend among young partygoers. The segment spirals into a brainstorm of possible Borg puns (“Borgman Sachs,” “Borg me, I’m Irish,” “Four Leaf Borger”) and show titles.
Andrew and Luke riff on the creativity and absurdity of the tradition, reading out hand-written Borg slogans from a Chicago news story.

Best Quotes

Luke: “I think it’s Borg—Blackout Rage Gallon.” (08:13)
Andrew: “It’s for the kids. It’s a kind of homemade buzz ball.” (08:18)
Luke: “Sometimes you fill the Borg, sometimes the Borg fills you.” (12:10)

4. Holiday Attitudes, Softening with Age (13:06–15:39)

Both hosts reflect on their once-cynical approach to St. Patrick’s Day (“amateur night”) and how family rituals—like the “Hawk Squad” photo exchange—have made it special again.
Luke links his Irish heritage to “alcoholism and undiagnosed depression,” Andrew reminds him he’s omitting “fighting.”

Highlights

Luke: “I don’t have any strong connection to my Irish heritage other than alcoholism and undiagnosed depression. But, like all the greats.” (14:14)
Andrew: “Forget me, Borg.” (14:35)

5. Politics & St. Patrick's Day: Mamdani, Trump, and the New York Post (15:25–20:33)

Digression into NY Post headline puns, coverage of NYC Mayor Mamdani, and the hosts’ fascination with both the oddities of tabloids and Trump’s fluid, non-ideological approach to policy.
Luke shares how the NY Post is a cultural “bellwether,” and muses that Trump could, in theory, even reverse his stance on immigration arbitrarily.

Notable Quotes

Luke: “For them, ultimately, the headline— that’s the highest order goal.” (15:58)
Luke: “He doesn’t hold anything deeply in his heart with any conviction other than constant narcissism and desire, an unfillable hole for approval.” (19:21)

6. St. Patrick’s Day’s True Value: Family Connection (20:33–23:23)

Tradition keeps the holiday “alive” within the family, even as neither host feels particularly moved by Irish heritage itself.
Both reflect on how social drinking used to be an “any night” thing, so St. Patrick’s Day was never a big excuse.

7. Dazzling Donors: Listener Memorial & Community (24:23–33:04)

Heartfelt thanks go to dazzling donors Phyllis Fletcher and Jules Stroutman. Phyllis’s message includes a touching remembrance of friends, pets, and listeners lost, reminding the community to get their health checks (shingles, pneumonia, tetanus, skin checks).
Longtime listeners and contributors like Theo, Felicia, Don Schreck, Lynn Shelton, and others are memorialized.
Andrew and Luke go down a Howard Stern Show rabbit hole, discussing Stern’s staff and the evolution of radio “news chick” roles.

Key Quotes

Phyllis (via Luke): “I love listening to you age.” (29:17)
Luke: “I love that we’re still all here. Pour one out for the homies.” (29:44)

8. Listener Jules on Growing Up with TBTL & Community Action (41:07–46:26)

Jules, who began listening at 13, celebrates their 14th TBTL anniversary and highlights the importance of the Sanctuary Supply Depot, mutual aid, and collective action in Minneapolis.
Luke references Thich Nhat Hanh’s “the next Buddha is the collective,” reflecting on mutual-aid efforts especially after the federal pressure in Minnesota post–George Floyd.

Quote

Luke: “We are not going to be saved necessarily by a hero…but by all of us doing stuff.” (44:45)

9. Andrew's Hawaii Vacation: Weather Woes, Morality, and Sentiment (46:40–64:26)

Andrew shares last-minute anxiety over massive storms and a sinkhole near their longstanding vacation spot in Kihei, Maui. There's uncertainty about accommodations, mixed feelings about being a tourist in a recovering community, and fond memories of past visits and places lost to natural disasters.
Discussion includes balancing respect for local hardship with the reality that local economies depend on visitors.
Luke insists Andrew should “spend twice as much” and truly “prop up the economy” with extra Mai Tais and surf lessons.

Quotes

Luke: “You will personally prop the economy back up.” (62:09)
Andrew: “If you think I’m breaking my no tipping rule because of this, you got another thing coming, buddy.” (55:20)
Andrew: “My skin got so soft that I damaged the bottom of my feet… I was like Zoidberg when you take off his shell.” (63:58)

10. Listener Emails: The Saga of Susie Burbank and the Book Club (64:36–70:55)

Listener Kelly writes in with “receipts” showing exhaustive attempts to get Susie, Luke’s mother, into the TBTL book club; Susie’s claim about difficult access is humorously debunked.
The hosts acknowledge the loving-yet-exasperating energy of TBTL’s extended family.

Notable Exchange

Luke: “It’s all fun and games until you have anything riding on it.” (68:41)
Andrew: “I could just feel Kelly’s frustration in this email. Her loving frustration…” (69:05)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Notable Moment | |-----------|---------|---------------------| | 01:30 | Luke | “Shame on everybody involved.”| | 08:13 | Luke | “I think it’s Borg—Blackout Rage Gallon.”| | 12:10 | Luke | “Sometimes you fill the Borg, sometimes the Borg fills you.”| | 14:14 | Luke | “I don’t have any strong connection to my Irish heritage other than alcoholism and undiagnosed depression. But, like all the greats.”| | 15:58 | Luke | “For them, ultimately, the headline— that’s the highest order goal.”| | 19:21 | Luke | “He doesn’t hold anything deeply in his heart with any conviction other than constant narcissism…”| | 29:17 | Phyllis (via Luke)| “I love listening to you age.”| | 41:15 | Jules (email)| “I started listening 14 years ago as a 13 year old…”| | 44:45 | Luke | “We are not going to be saved necessarily by a hero…but by all of us doing stuff.”| | 62:09 | Luke | “You will personally prop the economy back up.”| | 68:41 | Luke | “It’s all fun and games until you have anything riding on it.”|

Episode Themes & Tone

Humorous and Self-Aware: Deep dives into the absurdities of both viral culture (Borgs, Crichton Leprechaun), family idiosyncrasies, and aging.
Sentimental and Reflective: Touching tributes to lost listeners, heartfelt community messages.
Meta and Relational: TBTL’s own history and listener relationships foregrounded, showing the “family” aspect of the show.
Real-Life Grit: Honest talk about disaster, vacation guilt, and the logistics and feelings around traveling to hard-hit places.

Useful Timestamps for Major Segments

01:26 – Luke's St. Patrick’s Day family roundup
03:14 – Crichton Leprechaun anniversary
07:00 – Borg phenomenon explainer
14:14 – Irish heritage/holiday feelings
24:23 – Dazzling Donors/listener memorial
41:07 – Jules’ community message/Sanctuary Supply Depot
46:40 – Andrew’s Hawaii vacation woes begin
64:36 – Listener email: Susie and the elusive book club

Conclusion

This TBTL episode weaves together festive goofiness (creative Borg names, leprechauns), sincere family moments, community tributes, and the comedy of technical limitations (Susie’s book club saga). It’s a quintessential “collector’s series” blend: affectionate, lightly chaotic, and always self-aware.

Power out.