#4685 Get On Borg!

Summary

TBTL #4685 “Get On Borg!” — March 17, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

In this St. Patrick’s Day edition, Luke and Andrew navigate family traditions, viral internet oddities, and real-world woes—from the 20th anniversary of the legendary Crichton Leprechaun to the growing “Borg” (Blackout Rage Gallon) party phenomenon. There’s also a heartfelt reflection on personal connection to holidays, a listener memorial, and a candid look at the unexpected challenges facing Andrew’s upcoming Hawaii trip. The tone is humorous, self-deprecating, and occasionally poignant, true to the TBTL spirit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. St. Patrick’s Day Family Rituals & Green Clothing (01:26–03:11)

• Luke recounts the family group text, a parade of green outfit selfies, as his mom, sister, and brother report in. His dad, less enthused, submits “one of the worst selfies I’ve ever seen.”
• Andrew admits to "accidentally" wearing green. Both reminisce about childhood and culturally ambivalent approaches to the holiday.

Memorable Quotes

• Luke: “Shame on everybody involved.” (01:30)
• Andrew: “I did sort of accidentally wear green. I don’t usually go in for celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, I promise.” (04:12)
• Luke: “It’s never been something where I was like, ‘We gotta go out and get just absolutely ripped tonight because it’s St. Patrick’s Day.’ Because, like you said… getting ripped was an everyday possibility.” (20:33)

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2. The Crichton Leprechaun Turns 20 (03:14–04:05)

• Luke marks the two-decade anniversary of the viral Mobile, Alabama “leprechaun” news clip, teasing a New York Times retrospective that lends new context.

Notable Moment

• Andrew: “In all seriousness, to me, it look like a leprechaun. To me.” (03:11)
• Luke: “Twenty years ago, my friends, we were playing and delighting in the audio of the Crichton Leprechaun.” (03:14)

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3. "Borg" (Blackout Rage Gallon) Culture Explainer (07:00–13:06)

• Luke explains the rise of "Borg"—gallon jugs of vodka, electrolytes, and dye—especially as a St. Paddy's trend among young partygoers. The segment spirals into a brainstorm of possible Borg puns (“Borgman Sachs,” “Borg me, I’m Irish,” “Four Leaf Borger”) and show titles.
• Andrew and Luke riff on the creativity and absurdity of the tradition, reading out hand-written Borg slogans from a Chicago news story.

Best Quotes

• Luke: “I think it’s Borg—Blackout Rage Gallon.” (08:13)
• Andrew: “It’s for the kids. It’s a kind of homemade buzz ball.” (08:18)
• Luke: “Sometimes you fill the Borg, sometimes the Borg fills you.” (12:10)

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4. Holiday Attitudes, Softening with Age (13:06–15:39)

• Both hosts reflect on their once-cynical approach to St. Patrick’s Day (“amateur night”) and how family rituals—like the “Hawk Squad” photo exchange—have made it special again.
• Luke links his Irish heritage to “alcoholism and undiagnosed depression,” Andrew reminds him he’s omitting “fighting.”

Highlights

• Luke: “I don’t have any strong connection to my Irish heritage other than alcoholism and undiagnosed depression. But, like all the greats.” (14:14)
• Andrew: “Forget me, Borg.” (14:35)

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5. Politics & St. Patrick's Day: Mamdani, Trump, and the New York Post (15:25–20:33)

• Digression into NY Post headline puns, coverage of NYC Mayor Mamdani, and the hosts’ fascination with both the oddities of tabloids and Trump’s fluid, non-ideological approach to policy.
• Luke shares how the NY Post is a cultural “bellwether,” and muses that Trump could, in theory, even reverse his stance on immigration arbitrarily.

Notable Quotes

• Luke: “For them, ultimately, the headline— that’s the highest order goal.” (15:58)
• Luke: “He doesn’t hold anything deeply in his heart with any conviction other than constant narcissism and desire, an unfillable hole for approval.” (19:21)

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6. St. Patrick’s Day’s True Value: Family Connection (20:33–23:23)

• Tradition keeps the holiday “alive” within the family, even as neither host feels particularly moved by Irish heritage itself.
• Both reflect on how social drinking used to be an “any night” thing, so St. Patrick’s Day was never a big excuse.

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7. Dazzling Donors: Listener Memorial & Community (24:23–33:04)

• Heartfelt thanks go to dazzling donors Phyllis Fletcher and Jules Stroutman. Phyllis’s message includes a touching remembrance of friends, pets, and listeners lost, reminding the community to get their health checks (shingles, pneumonia, tetanus, skin checks).
• Longtime listeners and contributors like Theo, Felicia, Don Schreck, Lynn Shelton, and others are memorialized.
• Andrew and Luke go down a Howard Stern Show rabbit hole, discussing Stern’s staff and the evolution of radio “news chick” roles.

Key Quotes

• Phyllis (via Luke): “I love listening to you age.” (29:17)
• Luke: “I love that we’re still all here. Pour one out for the homies.” (29:44)

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8. Listener Jules on Growing Up with TBTL & Community Action (41:07–46:26)

• Jules, who began listening at 13, celebrates their 14th TBTL anniversary and highlights the importance of the Sanctuary Supply Depot, mutual aid, and collective action in Minneapolis.
• Luke references Thich Nhat Hanh’s “the next Buddha is the collective,” reflecting on mutual-aid efforts especially after the federal pressure in Minnesota post–George Floyd.

Quote

• Luke: “We are not going to be saved necessarily by a hero…but by all of us doing stuff.” (44:45)

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9. Andrew's Hawaii Vacation: Weather Woes, Morality, and Sentiment (46:40–64:26)

• Andrew shares last-minute anxiety over massive storms and a sinkhole near their longstanding vacation spot in Kihei, Maui. There's uncertainty about accommodations, mixed feelings about being a tourist in a recovering community, and fond memories of past visits and places lost to natural disasters.
• Discussion includes balancing respect for local hardship with the reality that local economies depend on visitors.
• Luke insists Andrew should “spend twice as much” and truly “prop up the economy” with extra Mai Tais and surf lessons.

Quotes

• Luke: “You will personally prop the economy back up.” (62:09)
• Andrew: “If you think I’m breaking my no tipping rule because of this, you got another thing coming, buddy.” (55:20)
• Andrew: “My skin got so soft that I damaged the bottom of my feet… I was like Zoidberg when you take off his shell.” (63:58)

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10. Listener Emails: The Saga of Susie Burbank and the Book Club (64:36–70:55)

• Listener Kelly writes in with “receipts” showing exhaustive attempts to get Susie, Luke’s mother, into the TBTL book club; Susie’s claim about difficult access is humorously debunked.
• The hosts acknowledge the loving-yet-exasperating energy of TBTL’s extended family.

Notable Exchange

• Luke: “It’s all fun and games until you have anything riding on it.” (68:41)
• Andrew: “I could just feel Kelly’s frustration in this email. Her loving frustration…” (69:05)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Notable Moment | |-----------|---------|---------------------| | 01:30 | Luke | “Shame on everybody involved.”| | 08:13 | Luke | “I think it’s Borg—Blackout Rage Gallon.”| | 12:10 | Luke | “Sometimes you fill the Borg, sometimes the Borg fills you.”| | 14:14 | Luke | “I don’t have any strong connection to my Irish heritage other than alcoholism and undiagnosed depression. But, like all the greats.”| | 15:58 | Luke | “For them, ultimately, the headline— that’s the highest order goal.”| | 19:21 | Luke | “He doesn’t hold anything deeply in his heart with any conviction other than constant narcissism…”| | 29:17 | Phyllis (via Luke)| “I love listening to you age.”| | 41:15 | Jules (email)| “I started listening 14 years ago as a 13 year old…”| | 44:45 | Luke | “We are not going to be saved necessarily by a hero…but by all of us doing stuff.”| | 62:09 | Luke | “You will personally prop the economy back up.”| | 68:41 | Luke | “It’s all fun and games until you have anything riding on it.”|

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Episode Themes & Tone

• Humorous and Self-Aware: Deep dives into the absurdities of both viral culture (Borgs, Crichton Leprechaun), family idiosyncrasies, and aging.
• Sentimental and Reflective: Touching tributes to lost listeners, heartfelt community messages.
• Meta and Relational: TBTL’s own history and listener relationships foregrounded, showing the “family” aspect of the show.
• Real-Life Grit: Honest talk about disaster, vacation guilt, and the logistics and feelings around traveling to hard-hit places.

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Useful Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:26 – Luke's St. Patrick’s Day family roundup
• 03:14 – Crichton Leprechaun anniversary
• 07:00 – Borg phenomenon explainer
• 14:14 – Irish heritage/holiday feelings
• 24:23 – Dazzling Donors/listener memorial
• 41:07 – Jules’ community message/Sanctuary Supply Depot
• 46:40 – Andrew’s Hawaii vacation woes begin
• 64:36 – Listener email: Susie and the elusive book club

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Conclusion

This TBTL episode weaves together festive goofiness (creative Borg names, leprechauns), sincere family moments, community tributes, and the comedy of technical limitations (Susie’s book club saga). It’s a quintessential “collector’s series” blend: affectionate, lightly chaotic, and always self-aware.

Power out.

Transcript

[A]

Ah, look at that kooky old cookie jar.

[B]

You like cookie jars, Kenneth?

[A]

Well, I guess I've never thought about it that much. We had a nice one back home in Georgia. Had a bear on it. I remember when my mom's friend Ron would come over, they'd go into the bedroom to sort out their paperwork, and I'd just go ahead and stare at that cookie jar. It was almost as if I took every problem that I ever had and I put it inside that cookie jar and I sealed it up so tight that nothing would never, ever, ever get out. So I guess to answer your question, I'd give cookie jars about a B, T, B, T, L.

[B]

I'm starting my own podcast. Hey, that could be fun.

[A]

All right, everybody, who's ready to laugh? Yeah, I can't hear you. That's not true, of course, but cheer louder. Yeah.

[B]

Are you seriously detaining me again?

[A]

Am I being rendered? No, you're being friendered. So just please accept our compulsory hospitality. If you had a favorite saying, what would it be? Life's a party. Rock your body. It stinks.

[B]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[A]

That was the fanciest sentence I've ever heard. And I used to watch Frasier.

[B]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Shame on everybody involved. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty and still muddy Columbia, where it's raining outside just a little bit. But mostly I'm focused today on the fact that it's March 17th. It's St. Patrick's Day.

[A]

I ever ask you to put on a pair of green tights, walk away.

[B]

Huge amount of pressure on the Hawk Squad text chain to represent with the green clothing. It's a big thing for my mom, of course, Susan Kelly, her maiden name being Irish and all, or of Irish descent. So let's see. Let's just run through the list here. Started with my mom wishing everybody a St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. DFTB asking if everyone's wearing green. My sister Liz, checking in from her high school teaching job in all green. Looking good, sis. Yours truly, LB checking in with the green pants and the Adidas. I love that. I just showed that to nobody, I guess. My dad taking literally one of the worst selfies I've ever seen in my life. He has a green shirt underneath his flannel, saying, there. Are you happy now? And then my brother David Checking in with the green jacket and a green Sonic's hat. So that's the update on what everybody in my family is wearing today here on. On the 17th of March. I guess that pretty much does it for the show. So anyway, we'll be back here tomorrow. Jk. Let the fun begin. We've got a lot of show left to do because it's episode 4685 in a collector series and it's jam packed with content. A lot of it is leprechaun related though.

[A]

In all seriousness, to me, it look like a leprechaun. To me.

[B]

The Crichton leprechaun story, which was the news story about an alleged leprechaun sighting in a neighborhood of mobile, Alabama, turns 20 years old this year. Twenty years ago, my friends, we were playing and delighting in the audio of the Crichton Leprechaun. Give me the go.

[A]

I want to go.

[B]

New York Times actually went back and interviewed a number of people who were in the original video and gave some more context to the whole thing. And it actually had me thinking about it differently than I had. So we will talk about the famous Crichton leprechaun story today on St. Patrick's Day and we'll say hello to this guy, longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I'm. I think he's kind of wearing a greenish shirt, although it's, it's riding up a little bit.

[A]

Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

[B]

Luckily, this is an audio project. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[A]

Good morning. Yeah, I did kind of, and I hate to be a party pooper, but I did sort of accidentally wear green. I don't usually go in for celebrating St. Patrick's Day, I promise.

[B]

That's why I was actually kind of shocked when I was looking at your shirt in this very moment that it is actually greenish because I know there is absolutely a zero percent chance you did that on purpose.

[A]

Now I'm changing the lighting in here. My shirt is actually officially the color drab. This shirt is just like dish. I'm looking in the, in the monitor. I'm just wearing something that is like, if you saw me in person, you would see that it is like slightly a minty green. But in this lighting and in kind of an ill fitting shirt, it looks like I'm just like, I should be cleaning up the cafeteria in a, in an Archie comic.

[B]

Or you should be redeeming a Shawshank.

[A]

Or I could be redeeming a Shawshank. Exactly.

[B]

And when you said cleaning a cafeteria, for some reason I went more pressure.

[A]

No, I think you're right, actually.

[B]

Kind of in a kind of a drab, slightly khaki kind of, you know, institutionally issued outfit.

[A]

I had a weird experience yesterday where I was listening to a podcast that is pre recorded. It's my comedy podcast. Not my comedy podcast, but one that I like to listen to, Comedy Bang Bang. And I usually am excited for it to come out on Sunday nights. That's how my addiction, that's how I mark my addiction. There was a time when I just liked that show and there were plenty of them and I would turn them on whenever I felt like it. And then I was sort of out of my backlog. And then I am literally now somebody who on Sunday nights, some Sunday nights I'm like, come on, Scott, where's the show? I want to get into my Sunday in. Anyway, I think about that show as a Sunday show. Apparently they consider it a Monday show because maybe it's dropping east coast time. I don't know. I'm raising all of this timeline issue because they made a comment in this pre recorded show, something about how yesterday was St. Patrick's Day or tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. And I had a moment as I was listening to this podcast last night thinking, oh my God, did we do it? And I'm not, I'm not trying to. I'm not saying we shouldn't celebrate it, but I was just like, did we totally. For we as a culture, did we forget about St. Patrick's Day this year? I know that's a crazy question, but I was like, well, there's a lot going on. You got the World Baseball Classic, war, other things, you know, of that nature. And so I was like, wow, did we just forget to do it? And then I woke up this morning and my timeline was filled with some

[B]

part of you was kind of happy

[A]

with a little part of me. And again, like, for people who like to celebrate it, like, I got no problem with that. Especially if you have like Irish heritage and it means something to you. I'm not trying to. I'm certainly, honestly, like, sincerely, I don't think everybody needs to get involved. And I guess I just include myself in the everybody.

[B]

You don't need to carry a Borg around Chicago and absolutely lose your damn mind. Like, what's happening this weekend. That's not how you Borg drink Chicago.

[A]

When I think of Borg, I think

[B]

of Star Trek Borg is, let's see here. I'm gonna give you the exact description what it is. First of all, I'll describe it for you and then I'll tell you what Borg stands for if the Internet will cooperate.

[A]

Here it is.

[B]

Imagine a gallon, what had previously been a gallon jug of milk, the kind I was referring to on the show that I dropped from my head. But it's filled with vodka and it's filled with vodka and some kind of, maybe electrolyte kind of, you know, sort of powder and other things that make it green. So you're carrying this like jug of a green liquid around with you. Particularly if you are, let's just say somebody who is maybe, maybe not 21 yet. I seem, that seems to be the people that were really into it. Although I think it was just basically for lots of young people. I don't think this is just unique to Chicago, but I think it's Borg is like blackout rage gallon.

[A]

Oh, good black out rage gallon. But it's for the kids.

[B]

It's for the kids. It's a kind of a homemade buzz ball. I think I just like to see that kids are taking on hobbies and projects.

[A]

Yeah, no, I, I like the trad wifey ness of it.

[B]

Well, it's a buzz ball.

[A]

Exactly. We make our own.

[B]

The way we have buzz balls at home, there's not. We have Borgs at home.

[A]

That was not the same. That would actually be a great TikTok.

[B]

Apparently Chicago this last weekend was particularly beset by Borg wheelie Borg wielding youth who as you might imagine after drinking gallons of vodka and green juice, I do say vodka intentionally and advisedly. Like, like the guy from American movie.

[A]

I was drinking vodka, he was drinking vodka. Vodka, yeah, it's, you know, the traditional Irish drink. Vodka.

[B]

Vodka.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

From the old country.

[A]

From the old country, indeed. I mean, that's why I don't want to, that's why I don't want to say anything negative about the holiday because obviously the people carrying around these Borgs are just trying to celebrate their heritage. And like, yeah, it would be pretty awful for me to like kind of demean that.

[B]

I will say now that I'm digging further into this, I'm reading at a website, block cub blockclub chicago.org they're just showing all of the different kinds of Borgs. And first of all, they're showing Chicago PD just pouring out endless partially consumed Borgs. Like they're just everywhere in the city of different. Like I think sometimes they'd be, you know, there'd be some MIPs being issued. You know, maybe these were confiscated from people who did not have the proper id. Some people just kind of probably lost, you know, lost their way and then just like left, you know, a half consumed. But what's kind of honestly cute would be overstating. But what I find mildly charming about it is people seem to do a lot of like part of the tradition when you, after you fill the Borg with whatever this awful concussion is new.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sometimes you feel the Borg, sometimes the Borg is that people then use a Sharpie to write all kinds of stuff on the Borg. And that's where the real creativity comes in. Somebody, somebody had one that just said Borgman Sachs.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then at a drawing of a guy with a tie.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

I don't know if this is. I don't. You're getting on board getting Borg. I don't know if this person works for Goldman Sachs. Honestly, that would track. I could see about a 24 year old Goldman Sachs guy running a moke in Chicago. But you see one that's. And it's got. So it says Borgman Sachs and then it has like a tie, like a kind of an outline of a. Not even a person, but just has like a. A collared shirt and a tie. So that was one you had a bunch of women who had sort of made. They had these like. These were smaller ones. Listen, there were some demure people out there. Their Borgs were like. Maybe not even like a pint. Maybe not even a pint, but one.

[A]

Oh well, they're probably expecting.

[B]

Yes, they will be after Saturday. One wrote Borg me, I'm Irish on it. Le Borg Sean. I don't actually follow that. Like Le Borg Sean, like French writing. That's probably translate to something. The. Let's see, the Borg at the end of the rainbow is what one of them says. And it's got a little rainbow into a pot of gold. Four leaf Borger. And then luck of the Borgish. Another one had written on their thing. I'm not saying that this is.

[A]

I got one for you, I got one for you.

[B]

MacArthur Genius Awards going out for this. But for some reason this is kind of funny to me.

[A]

How about. How about you're borging me to death and I was already dead.

[B]

You are borging me. You're Borg me to death and I was already dead.

[A]

You're boring me back to death. Yes, that's pretty good. That's particularly in the, I don't know,

[B]

lexicon of this show.

[A]

We have a Lot of options for the show. I mean, I wrote originally, you know, sometimes you fill the Borg, sometimes the Borg fills you. Now I've changed it to get on Borg. We could do all a Borg. I was kind of curious, and I'm looking it up now because I don't remember all the Borg alla Borg. I was thinking, that could be a good one, and now it's in the lexicon. I was wondering how you felt about y. Oh, how did you feel about yesterday's show title? We did not say anything during the show that inspired a show title, so I was left to my own devices. What'd you do? I called it Hungry. Hungry Hypnosis, because you were talking about, which I sort of like. Like, kind of funny wordplay. But I wish that the Hungry meant something. You know what I mean? Like, we weren't really talking about them being hungry in any way. You know what I mean? It just sort of seemed a little bit random. So it was one of those that I threw out there where I was like, I don't know if. I don't know if this works or not, but I needed to.

[B]

It may. It got a laugh out of me.

[A]

That's good. Okay, now retroactively, we've made that canon as well, so we're doing good work here. So can I. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Can I actually ask it to say, now that you know about. Now that you know about the existence of the Borg, I assume next year you'll be front and center on St. Patrick's Day, fully decked out in green, just Borging around the E line, right? Yeah.

[A]

Next year, I'm mixing one of these under my desk as we speak up. I'm using the water from my once frozen water bottle that I rolled my bad foot on to break up the plantar. How do you feel? Like, how do you feel about St. Patrick's Day? You and I, back in the day. And again, as a couple of cranky sarcasmos, I think we pretty much have dismissed the holidays back in the day because it was just like what we'd call amateur night or whatever. Just like, who wants to be a part of that kind of mass commotion? But generally speaking, as you get older, as you think about things differently, and I kind of. I mean, I don't know why I would say I forgot. I know your mom has Irish heritage, but, like, have you sort of softened on that? Or, like, would you be bummed? Let me put it this way. Would you be bummed if you woke up and the Hawks Guad wasn't having this conversation and your family wasn't swapping these photos?

[B]

Yes, I would be bummed. And. And not because I feel any particularly strong connection to my Irish heritage other than alcoholism and undiagnosed depression. But like all the greats.

[A]

Oh, I think you're leaving out fighting.

[B]

Nothing, Nothing. Nothing a Borg and a half won't solve. But I don't, you know, I don't feel.

[A]

Forget me, Borg.

[B]

I feel like I don't have any strong connection to the holiday as some sort of, you know, special, you know, day of remembrance or day of honoring my culture or heritage. I don't even. Really. Isn't it. Was it like St. Patrick drove the snakes out of everything I know about St. Patrick. I learned from an episode of the Simpsons.

[A]

I thought you were gonna say you learned from Mayor Mamdani, who has like a 2 1/2 minute video about the history of Ireland and St Patrick's Day that is going absolutely Vi.

[B]

No, I didn't.

[A]

Have you seen almost like him? I haven't watched the whole thing, but, like, if you would, like, maybe at the end of the show, I could play it for you because everybody is eating it up. Talk about hungry, hungry hip hop.

[B]

That guy might be our next president. I mean, he is an incredibly skilled politician.

[A]

Yeah, he is.

[B]

I mean, that guy has got it figured out. And the reason I know that I'm going to get back to St. Patty State in a moment is because I read the New York Post against my better judgment. And I'm reading it for a couple of reasons. One, the headlines are pretty funny. Like, when the Kristi Gnome thing was going down, they wrote like, gnome wrecker. She was having an affair. Like, they really do lead the league.

[A]

Kind of equal opportunity when it comes to the word play. I like it because they.

[B]

Because for them, ultimately, the headline, that's the.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's the. The highest order goal.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

You know, like, I mean, that was the joke America needed at that time about Kristi Noem. So I read it for. I do read it for the. For the headlines, but also, I'm just.

[A]

It's.

[B]

I can't. I can't bring myself to watch Fox News. There's a lot of conservative, kind of the conservative side of the Internet that I just avoid because it makes me so sad. But the New York Post is this weird bellwether for me about kind of like, what is a certain version of kind of, you know, I don't even know conservative America is even what you'd call it. But, like, It's a, it's a. It's a barometer for me about certain things. And what I'm always curious about is like, how hard are they going to go on Mamdani? And it is shocking. I mean, yeah, they throw out weird, you know, sort of like sexist stuff about his wife. Of course it's like she can do no right because she's married to, you know, a social, a socialist Democrat or whatever he's taking. Wait. I always got to be careful because there were. The Nazis were called the social, weren't they? The democrat socialists or something. It gets a little fuzzy. I want to make sure nobody thinks I'm calling Mamdani a Nazi. But anyway, point is, I'm surprised at actually. And maybe it's just because they're in the honeymoon phase. I thought like the minute he got elected that just that the New York Post would never, ever, ever leave him alone. And it's been less intense than I expected. And I do not credit the New York Post for that. I credit Mamdani doing shit like explaining St. Patrick's Day and going to the Oval Office with Trump and just like doing a lot of stuff that is probably sort of has the New York Post on its back foot. They don't know what to do with this guy.

[A]

Well, neither. I mean, the fact that he was invited to the Oval Office is interesting or, you know what I mean, like, not only that he accepted, but also that like, yeah, Trump literally one day is saying that, like, you know, we're going to punish the city for electing a socialist and everything is going downhill. And the next day just being like, this guy is too cool. This guy has to hang out with me. That is very. I mean, the Post is, get this guy aboard.

[B]

Wait, sir, he's a Muslim. Okay, whatever.

[A]

It is sort of like the, the Post sort of shares a certain part of the Trump id. Right. And whatever that ID is, it is like the more whatever there, whatever kind of attractiveness of, of humor or just like celebrity that Trump still has a tiny, you know, grasp on that is basically the same energy that the Post is putting out there.

[B]

You're. That's really well said. It's. It's less ideological like Trump, like Trump, it's actually in a certain way, it's largely non ideolog.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Like Trump just doesn't have any truly held ideologies other than weirdly tariffs. He really loves tariffs and like on. For some reason, like, because, I mean, the thing about Trump that's also just so maddening you know, if you're on the other side, is that he's perfectly happy to steal a good idea of the Democrats and then just make it his because he thinks there'll be some political advantage. He is not locked into hardly any ideologies or, like, ways of thinking because he believes that those are the best way to do something. He doesn't care. He'll just do anything at any time. I was listening, actually, to Chris Hayes's podcast today, why is this Happening? And he was talking to a guy from the Cato Institute, of all places, who's got a very interesting view on immigration. And this guy was saying, I can't believe we went from Borgs to this.

[A]

But no, no, you're still in the middle of answering a question about St Patrick's Day in your.

[B]

And I am. And I'm getting back to it. I'm getting back to it. But he was saying how he could see a world in which Trump literally just decides to declare amnesty for people who are in this country without documentation. And it actually, like, flies with his. With his constituents, because he just realizes, man, I'm really, like, I'm underwater now on my. My immigration policies. People did not like what was happening with ICE agents killing Americans in the streets. People don't like seeing people that they know and love get ripped away from their homes and families for no reason. And that. But that's the thing about Trump that's tough to sort of, you know, counteract as the other party, is that he could just tomorrow go, like, you know what? I'm actually just like, I'm not doing that anymore, because he doesn't hold anything deeply in his heart with any conviction other than constant narcissism and desire, an unfillable hole for approval, you know, and feeling powerful. And so, anyway, I thought, oh, boy. I mean, in a way, I hope he does do that. I hope he does declare amnesty, because whatever stops what's going on right now, I would support. But I also think that that would be, like, politically a really smart move on his part.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so back to St. Patty's Day. Yes, I. I don't have any. I don't have any strong connection to the idea of it as a holiday or something, something sacred. But I do like that it is a day that my family will reliably have a full family conversation in the Hawk Squad about if people are wearing green or not. And, like, also, I'm wearing green pants this year, which there have been years where I have intentionally not because I Was I was just trying to be obstinate if I was suffering from seasonal oppositional defiance disorder or what. But this year, I am wearing green pants. I took a picture of them. I did put them in the. In the text chain. It's just like a fun, meaningless, dumb thing in. Within our family structure that does bring me happiness. So to that end, I'm. I like it. It's never been something where I was like, you guys, we gotta go out and get just absolutely ripped tonight because it's St. Patrick's Day. Because like you said, I, you know, I think of that particularly in my 20s and 30s, I thought of that getting completely ripped tonight as an everyday possibility.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So I didn't need St. Patrick's Day to give me permission to go out and, and, and enter the Borg.

[A]

If anything, it's a terrible night to go out drinking.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because all your favorite places are overflowing with.

[B]

Yes. And people are so sloppy. And in fact, you know, on Saturday night, before we went to the Hip prov. Before we. Hungry. Hungry. Hypnote, we were walking around Salem a little bit, and we were noticing that there was a lot of people out. And we're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. This is the St. Patrick's Day. You know, it's the Saturday before St. Patrick's Day, so this is gonna be the night for it. And then last week.

[A]

That was last week. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Because if you think about it, and all the Borging in Chicago was also on Saturday.

[A]

Interesting. So I did sort of miss it, sort of culturally. I was not following. I was totally unaware.

[B]

You missed the unofficial. I'm sure. Listen, I'm sure plenty of people will avail themselves, particularly plenty of young people avail themselves of also tonight to go out and get Saint Saint Patra cited.

[A]

But you don't think I. When you said Saturday before, for some reason I thought, oh, yeah, this Saturday will be the big one. But no, I guess if it lands on a Tuesday, last Saturday would have been the big one.

[B]

Yeah. But the thought that went through my head when we walked by some, you know, completely nice, but younger than us people that were decked out in green was, oh, shit, is this gonna be a mess tonight?

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

So if you want to know kind of what my knee jerk, instinctive reaction to it is at this age is like, oh, no. Oh, wait, is it that night? So, yeah, that's kind of where I land with it.

[A]

You can barely get a Borg. I mean, they've been sold out. They've been sold out for weeks. Like all the hard.

[B]

I mean, the Borg gouging. Yeah, it's great. We see going on is it's un American.

[A]

The dynamic Borging is just really. It's so unfair to the consumer.

[B]

I'm heavily leveraged in Borgs on calcium, so. I told you actually was a smart decision.

[A]

I told you before the show that I have kind of an update about this trip I need to hear about. Do you want to talk about it now? Do you want to do some dazzling donors?

[B]

Let's do some dazzling donors. And then. Yeah, but I'm actually dying to hear about this because I have been sort of vicariously looking forward to this trip for you. You and Veeves are going to be going to Hawaii. I know you've had this on the calendar for a long, long time, and. And I'm really excited for you and I hope it all goes well. But, yeah, you said you're running into some, Some, some issues. So, yeah, let's. Let's do that right after the donors. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[A]

On your mark.

[B]

On your mark.

[A]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go, everybody.

[B]

Razzle dazzle. All right. Let's thank those dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough each month, and it is keeping TBTL going 5 days a week,

[A]

52 weeks a year.

[B]

This is 100% listener supported stuff. And my goodness gracious, I don't know if Andrew, maybe outside of you and John Sklaroff and me, I don't know if there's anybody who has done more for TBTL over the years than our first dazzling donor today. And it is, of course, our friend Phyllis Fletcher P. Fletch, AKA F. Fletcher.

[A]

What's your name?

[B]

Fletch.

[A]

Full name?

[B]

Fletch F. Fletch, who has been just like. I'm really like the fourth leg in the chair that is TBTL for all these years now.

[A]

It's unwise for me to be negging the listeners. Why would you do that? The Dazzlers. But it's come to my attention sometimes Phyllis only listens to our podcast once, all the way through. And that is a decline in listenership as far as I'm concerned. But we appreciate her listening at all.

[B]

Honestly, we're lucky because if I have this right, I think she's no longer. She's like my number one stern homie, but I think she only listens to the wrap up show. Now. Sometimes I will be telling her about stuff that happens on Stern and she'll go, oh, I didn't catch that because I pretty much just listened to the wrap up show, so. Thank God we don't have a. We don't have a TBTL wrap up show because maybe that would be what Phyllis was listening.

[A]

Interesting. I didn't, I did not know about that development. I'm pretty shocked.

[B]

Breaking news break.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I know that she's been very busy lately, so maybe that's part of the whole thing. But she's, she stays with us, Luke and she. And when topics come up that she's interested in, we will get the text messages from Phyllis. I know she's always out there listening and yeah, she's been a dear friend.

[B]

Amazing. And like her whole family too, you know, from the Gus the Gusinator. I think people call him that.

[A]

Yeah, no, that's what he loves.

[B]

Rather die. Yeah, Gus likes to like, he likes to really like, like he likes to build me up, buttercup, and then break me down.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Told you recently he was in a class and for some reason they're playing some kind of a, I don't know, CBS story of mine or something. And he said, hey, they're showing you in my class. And I said, cool, did you tell them that you knew that guy? And he said, no, that's. That would describe my, mine and. And Gus's relationship. Anyway, here's what Phyllis says in her message. I am extremely old now. Well, P, you don't look like it, so at least there's that. It's why I remind you to get your shingles and pneumonia shots this year. Check your tetanus shot due date while you're at it, and get your skin checked. I gotta start doing that honestly, like I am, you know, I finally did the colonoscopy, the number one thing that Phyllis was on us about. But now I should start going to a dermatologist to make sure this pasty Irish skin is not developing. You know, worrisome things.

[A]

I saw a poo box commercial yesterday and it made me so glad that I went the colonoscopy route. Although I know some healthcare providers in our audience felt like the poo box is the more responsible thing for an early first screening, but it was really. Yeah, there was some talk about it kind of like keeping medical costs down. I believe in the system or whatever, if there's a cheaper way to do it at home for a screening. But knowing that, first of all, the process, now that I've done it once, now, seven years from now, will I Remember that? It wasn't as bad as I kind of had built myself up for it. It was like really the unknown. I pictured myself in the night before the procedure, sitting on the toilet, but literally being pushed up off the toilet as if I was sitting on a geyser. Yeah, exactly. Like a cartoon turtle. And it ended up being. The whole process ended up being good. And I saw that commercial yesterday as, like, a happy man is carrying his box full of poop to the mailbox. I was like, that's done for me for seven years. In great part because of Phyllis's.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What would you say? She's an actor cajoling. Exactly.

[B]

I have to get another one in three years, Andrew, because I did not get the. I was not a ten year man. I'm a three year man. And so that means. And when did I get it? Probably almost a year ago. Was it that long? I mean, we're almost. We're getting close to me now. Ramping back up to this. This could once again take over the discourse on the show.

[A]

Well, the best part to me of that story is not long after, maybe, let's say six months after your colonoscopy, you could not remember already when the next one was supposed to be. And Phyllis had to write into the show to tell you that she remembered when your next one is, even though you did not.

[B]

But, Andrew, that's one of the things that she loves about the show. In fact, she says in the next line in her message, I love listening to you age. See, so that's just the kind of content that Phyllis really comes to the show for, is me forgetting how soon my colonoscopy is coming up on the horizon. I love that we're still all here. Pour one out for the homies. So this is a list of some folks who are not here anymore that are, you know, maybe close to the show's heart or just people that we admired from afar. The first couple on the list would be more in the second camp. Prince Bowie. Drew McFri. Shout out. Drew McFrizz. Felicia Powell. Don Shrek. We love Don. Traffic Jam. Jimmy. Too early to get a Fish Sandwich. Lynn Shelton. Noodle the Pug.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Julio. Yeah. Clean. Isra. Mama's Forehead. Alex Trebek. Losers. In other words, this is the part where I'm just going to start doing drops. My version of drops. Pat o'. Day. They just want you to be normal. And clearly you're not our buddy, Alan Christensen. Alan. We loved Alan. Theo.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Theo Festival Bananas.

[A]

Theodore Murray. Theodore Murray.

[B]

Where did the Murray come from?

[A]

I know that. I know when we first adopted him and he was a little kitten, I wanted to name a Murray because I thought that'd be such a good name for a tiny, little cute kitten.

[B]

That is a good.

[A]

And Genevieve was like, we're not naming a Murray. So we came up with Theo Theodore. But I. I kept Murray as the middle name. Yeah, I see.

[B]

Theodore is also an interesting name for a little kid.

[A]

And, like, interesting in a very different kind of way, though. I liked Murray because you picture sort of a rough around the edges kind of old guy.

[B]

He's having his black coffee.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He shows up at the diner at 6am every day to drink his black coffee and complain about it slightly.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But then Theodore is a little bit, like. I don't know, a bit of a. Like a. Kind of a fancy lad. Right. Or like kind of a guy who's kind of got it all together, sort of dapper.

[B]

Then we've got Professor Bananas and then Tom Maliazzi. Oh, car talking click and clack. The Tapit brothers. Phyllis says when Tommy died in 2014, it was his TBTL obit that truly made me a 10. The way you gave Car Talk its props in public radio history drew me into your world. I'm in your life. Benji Bronk said that to Tracy Morgan when Benji was hassling him in 2010.

[A]

Is that a Stern thing? Yeah. Okay. All right.

[B]

See, Phyllis, I need to get you back on the Stern train so that we can talk. They have. Benji has not been on air in, like, three years, and that's weird to me. We need more. Who knows? That's the thing about that. There's. It's sort of. It's a carousel of content. And there are so many producers that work on the show, and they'll. They'll sort of like, you know, there will be a period of time where you're hearing a lot from certain ones. Like, right now, we're really in the era of, like, a guy named John Blitt. John Blitt is actually relatively new to the show, which is to say probably in the last five years. But he does a lot of these, like, weird bits, like he'll fly, like he was on a flight with J.D. harmyer, who's another producer on the show. And I think he got on the. He got on the PA system of the airplane and proposed to JD by the way. They're both straight men, but he got the whole airplane clapping for what they thought was a proposal from him to this Guy JD who's very shy and very not into getting any kind of public attention.

[A]

So we're.

[B]

We're in a John Blitz era right now, but we're not in a Benji Bronk era.

[A]

Just like he joined as an intern in 1998. Benji Bronk did eventually earned a paid position. This is all news to me.

[B]

Yes. Anyway, let's see. Phyllis says my list of folks who aren't here anymore just gets longer. I'll be on someone else's list someday. Can you believe that? Well, as I've said before, God don't want me yet, man. I got more feet to taste. So do you pour one out? That is, of course, Ham Hands Bill reference, also from the Howard Stern world. This guy, Ham Hands Bill, who's had a resurgence on the show, is. He was a caller. They had a contest. This is a little bit before my time, really in deep in the Stern universe, but they had some kind of a contest, I think, to. It was somehow related to either writing a song or writing a poem or somehow doing something that was related to Robin Quivers, the kind of longtime sidekick on the show. And this guy, Ham Hands Bill, had a lot of. Let's just say, a lot of sexual attention, kind of aimed at Robin, and would write these very unhinged things, which, in the world of Howard Stern, were taken as actually very funny. And I will say that Robin had consent and was in on this, I guess. But the craziest part was Ham Hamsbill is somebody who. He is, I believe, either a quadriplegic or paraplegic. He does not have use of his legs. And there were some contests that he won where he won a Jet Ski. And I don't believe that they were. Phyllis would know this. I don't believe that they were aware that he did not have the use of his legs. And the idea that he was the guy who won a Jet Ski really just really cemented him in the pantheon of like, kind of Howard Stern lore. But he's also, I think, really like a foot guy. He's the real footman. And at one point, and I think this is. I think Phyllis has a link in here of Ham Hands maybe even saying this, saying this particular line. I got more feet to taste. Can you play this?

[A]

Speaking from the bed? God don't want me yet, man. I got more feet to taste.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Robin really, really punctuates that at the end. There you go.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like, again, this is where I just need to be just Phyllis and I need to Just like go on a two person a weekend away where I can just pepper her with questions about Stern lore. And also stuff that just kind of is from the before times of before I was listening as obsessively because the whole kind of evolution of Robin Quivers. Would you call it acceptance? Like, with the fact that, you know, she's been very highly sexualized on the show. Like, I wonder what day one of that was like for her and if she was initially like, absolutely not, or if she was cool with it right away or if she became cool with it over time. She has the. It's a very interesting thing to observe as a listener because, I mean, it is wild. It is wild. The songs that are written about her and then played and then she's just laughing. She seems to be genuinely laughing along. But I. I'm curious about if it was always that way or if that was also a journey for her to kind of accept this as something comedic instead of like just deeply creepy.

[A]

And also, how much did. Because that role, I mean, it has a sexist name too, but that role was like always a very traditional part of like the. The kind of zoo crew. Right. They would call that role the News Chick. Always right. In that format.

[B]

Yes. And although I do think that that's a format that was almost largely invented by Stern.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Well, yeah. I mean, there's been a lot of morning shows around, but I think the first. I think you'd have to say that he was one of the first, you know, to do what we think of as the Morning Zoo. Who do you think was doing Morning Zoo with a news chick before Stir.

[A]

Well, I mean, I feel like that first format. And you're right like this. I was even going to say WKRP in Cincinnati, but the news guy there was definitely not somebody was Lonnie Anderson.

[B]

Right. Was she on air?

[A]

No, I don't think so. I think that was a different kind of sexism. I think that she was just an administrative assistant or secretary.

[B]

She wasn't even on the air.

[A]

I don't think so, no. And the news guy was Les Nessman. So I don't know. I mean, maybe you're right again, I'm just surprised to hear that. I thought that that sort of format of a couple of wacky co hosts and then a woman who comes in to do the news, but then also like kind of sticks around and also gets messed with. And of course, because of the eras, not that sexism doesn't exist today, but especially because it was so rampant and Open. Then it was all. It would always sort of lean in that direction. And I thought that that term, the News Chick, I thought that that preceded the. The Howard Stern show, but maybe I'm wrong.

[B]

Yeah, I, you know, I'm not a historian, even though I have been to something called morning show Boot camp twice, which I think makes me an amateur morning show historian at this point. I don't know the exact. There's. I'm sure there could be. You could point to some shows before Stern that were doing this particular kind of thing. You know, you had probably Scott Shannon and Rick Dees, but I think those shows were a lot more tame. I really do think that he was sort of the er, like shock jock.

[A]

I'm laughing because I just typed in news chick radio format and the first thing that popped up was a link to Cairo fm. Now this must have to do with.

[B]

Because there was something called the News Chick. Right.

[A]

I had totally forgotten about this. But imagine my shock when I'm. I haven't even clicked on the link. This is just the Google results. The first result is Cairo fm. And I'm guessing that they're serving this to me because of my history and whatever Google knows about me. But it says it airs a news talk show radio format is owned by Salt Lake City based. Then it says the News Chick show hosted by Linda Thomas. The Andrew Walsh show hosted by Read Moore. So have I actually. Somebody has actually created both me and Linda Thomas live on in a list of old Cairo. Of the hundreds of shows that must have aired on Cairo in the years, how am I still listed on there? I mean, I guess. And I would sort of group Linda Thomas there too.

[B]

And is Blather Watch writing about.

[A]

She called herself the News Chick. I forgot about. And there's too Beautiful to live also. And TBTL actually has a link to our Wikipedia page.

[B]

There you go, maestro.

[A]

On your mark, on your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, Ready, go.

[B]

Everybody rattle dazzle. Now, before just one last quick addendum before we thank our next dazzling donor, I just want to mention another name to the list. And I just learned this, which is our friend Danny Koontz passed away recently, like very recently.

[A]

This is new to us.

[B]

Yeah. In February of this year. And Danny was. Danny was so awesome. Danny and I really bonded over casinos because he, like me, had built up a lot of like, you know, free stays at various casinos around America. And he would come out, you know, he'd come to these shows that we were doing and get togethers. He lived in Louisiana, I think he was in Arkansas for a while.

[A]

Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah.

[B]

And, and, and he'd, you know, he would show up and we would start chatting and he would kind of take me through his, like, his itinerary, his triptych of the different casinos that he had stayed at on his way out to wherever the TBTL gathering was. And yeah, I loved Danny a lot, and I'm so sad to, to see that he's passed as well. So I wanted to. Wanted to. To mention Danny as well as we're remembering some of our, our friends who aren't with us anymore. A friend who is with us and we're so happy about it. And who is our second dazzling donor today is Jules Strautman. Jules, thank you for the pronouncement.

[A]

That's a great pronouncing on Stroutman, Jules.

[B]

It's pronounced like out, not like ought. So it's Stroutman. And Jules is in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[A]

Hey. Hey.

[B]

Jules says, hey, Luke and Andrew. I started donating last year when I realized that TBTL had been in my life longer than it hadn't.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Whoa. Meaning Jules's age is. This is terrible. Don't do math on the radio, Jules. So Jules is. Jules is of an age where they've had more TBTL in their life than not TBTL time.

[A]

And if they started listening at the

[B]

earliest days, 35 or 36 or. Yeah, something like 32 maybe.

[A]

Yeah. So if they started listening in the earliest days, that would be 18 years of TBTL listening. Right.

[B]

I just need to read the next sentence. It explains a lot more or I can continue speculating. Jules says I started listening 14 years ago as a 13 year old. Okay, so we know that Jules is 27, if I'm doing that correctly. Always hit on a 27. That's something Danny Koontz and I used to talk about. I started listening 14 years ago as a 13 year old in search of more podcasts for my bus rides home from school. I was hooked from the start, but I distinctly remember feeling like I had found something special after hearing episode 1079. Oh shit, hell Pizza, where Luke, Andrew and friends played hot sauce pizza roulette. That is shocking to me because that was one of those episodes that like, I loved making, but I always wondered if it was actually good radio or not. You know, like it was fun to be there in my kitchen down in Mount Baker. And if I remember right, I was think drinking whiskey as well. And we had the mummy lacing the pizza for Us. And we had Radkey there, and it was a very.

[A]

We had a camera running, too, from Cairo. Remember? Also Jamie filming it, maybe? No, it was also Rest in Peace, unfortunately.

[B]

Rest in peace, Alyssa.

[A]

Geez. That one I think about sometimes, too, and it's shocking.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, that's. That's just. Man, life is not fair. But we.

[A]

It was. It was.

[B]

I really. And I feel like we did more of this back in those days. A, we were probably more ambitious, but B, we just did more stunty stuff. That was like. It was fun for me to do, but I. What I wonder about is if it translated to good imaginary radio or not. But apparently for Jules, it did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's pretty strong.

[A]

Thanks, Jules.

[B]

I'm so grateful to have had TBT in my life as a consistent source of entertainment and companionship. I look forward to every day to putting the show on. I know you hear it all the time, but what you do is so important. I want to shout out and encourage the TENS to support Sanctuary Supply Depot, a mutual aid group in the Twin Cities that's been supporting our unhoused neighbors and immigrant families. Minneapolis has been through it in the past few months. Boy, you are absolutely right, Jules. And this group has been so important in fighting for our communities. Love the show. Thanks for everything. Well, Jules, we love you and thank you for supporting us. And yeah, look up Sanctuary Supply Depot in the Twin Cities because even though, you know, the sort of most intense direct pressure of the federal government seems to have maybe sort of moved on now or put its focus elsewhere, that doesn't mean that, you know, folks in the Twin Cities don't still need a lot of help. So, I mean, listen, this is. We need to get to travel woes, but I heard it was Rebecca Solnit quoting somebody else about sort of the idea of Buddhism. And I'm going to get so much of this wrong, but basically, this is it. Thich Nhat Hanh, the writer who wrote very eloquently, who's passed recently about just like, life, philosophy and Buddhism and things like that. And this person said, the next Buddha is not the Buddha, it's the. And I forget the exact term, but they use the term for the people, meaning we are not going to be saved necessarily by a hero, by a singular person. We're going to be saved by all of us doing stuff. And where I'm going with this is like, I think that's what the Twin Cities really proved, you know, the way that the people in the Twin Cities came together to look out for their neighbors and. And to do everything they could to try to push back against this federal occupying force really proved that. I think what is going to be the savior of us in all this, if there is one, is not going to be one person. It's not going to be one superhero. It's not going to be one Buddha. It's going to be all of us. It's going to be the collective. And I continue to just be so impressed by what everybody, a lot of them actual friends of ours, because we just have, you know, whether it's the Stubbot, whether it's our colleague John Sklaroff, just other people that we know in the Twin Cities, the way that they just came together in this incredibly terrifying time to protect their friends and neighbors is really proof that it matters. You know, what we do as a collective really can have an impact. So, anyway, that's a long digression where I got about 14 out of 15 of the facts wrong. But that's also. That's kind of what we do around here, or at least kind of what I do. So thank you.

[A]

That's. Don't. I was wrong once.

[B]

I was gate kept once, and I did not like it. Jules, thank you for the support. Appreciate you.

[A]

Hello, and welcome to Top Story.

[B]

All right, man, We're.

[A]

We're just.

[B]

We're in the countdown towards you and a tropical vacay. And yet you're saying there are problems. What is going on?

[A]

Yeah, this is one of those stories where I need to kind of watch my tone as I speak about this, because it turns out the place that we are vacationing just got hit by. I don't know if it's officially called a natural disaster or not, but. Genevieve.

[B]

Storms, Yes.

[A]

I had not been following the storms at all, but literally we were going to Maui. We're leaving on Sunday and going back to this area that we stay a lot, Kihei, which is by Lahaina. I think maybe you stayed in Lahaina once or something. But we. Kihei Lahaina. We usually stay in Kihei and then travel to Lahaina. Lahaina was kind of the heart of where those devastating fires were a couple of years ago. And as the community is digging out of that, apparently, like a cyclone or something, like a subtropical cyclone or something hit the Akihe area, I think, over the weekend. And Genevieve, this is one of those things I was thinking of. Like, boy, I. Well, I guess I should just read more. But also, it really underscored for me how staying in my basement doing a show with you. Just going about my day, but not having coworkers, not having casual conversations with people. Apparently at work, somebody said to Genevieve, oh, well, what's going on with your vacation? Or Genevieve was just saying, hey, I'm getting this project done or something because we're leaving soon. And somebody probably said, well, where are you going? And she said. And they said, well, what about the storms? And Genevieve had no idea what they're talking about, and I think meant to look it up later or something, and then ran into somebody else. And she said, yeah, we're leaving on Saturday. And they said, well, what about the storm? So Genevieve came along.

[B]

Becca said that to me when I said you guys were going to Hawaii.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Said, what about the storm?

[A]

Really? See, I had one job, which was to relay that to you. And I felt, yes. So you already. Maybe you already knew about.

[B]

No, I didn't know what island it was. I just have seen some footage of flooding and really intense weather there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that was. That's my awareness.

[A]

And apparently the heart of it is kind of exactly where we're staying. So we have a. And again, when I. When I started this by saying, I got to watch my tone, like, I saw. I was trying to get a sense of the damage, and at least one home was, like, completely washed away, it looks. I couldn't tell if it was many homes or one, but it's this one home that a lot of sources are reporting about. An older couple. 80.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Their dream home. Oh, yeah. So you read this, too? Yeah, yeah. That's the. I think their name is Bradshaw or something like that. But anyway, so I think that's sort of in the area. I guess there's a big sinkhole, like, Right. Kind of on the main road, kind of near where we're staying. So we're waiting to hear back, like, whether. I mean, listen, if the place that we're staying, which is an Airbnb, that is a ground floor unit, if it's unlivable or unstable for any reason, well, then we can't go. Or we'll, I guess, book another place. Like. Because when I was first hearing about this, you know, belatedly last night, I was trying to do the math on, like, well, do you. Do you go at all? Like, do you. I mean, in a certain way, this is where it gets into, like, sort of a moral quandary, too. Like, it feels weird going to vacation someplace where people are digging out of one of the worst moments of their life, you know, and as A community. But on the other hand, these communities specifically are tourist communities. They survive on tourist dollars. You know what I mean? And so, like, you know, I'm just trying to, like, kind of figure out, well, I wasn't sure, like, oh, is this to the degree that we don't go? But my initial reaction was, well, the storm has passed, and infrastructure is only going to get better in the next five to 10 days. Not that everything is just going to be peachy keen, but I don't see, like, airlines giving you your tickets back or whatever. And if our Airbnb is stable, I assume that we would be, you know, on the hook to maintain our appointment, by the way. I mean, the sort of irony here is this is maybe one of the longest planned vacations. I was just looking it up in my notes. Genevieve booked this in August of last year. So that was like, seven months ago or something like that, or eight months ago. Not good at math, but. And again, it's just Genevieve and I, when we were very young, in our early 20s and maybe dating for three years or something, I remember she said, let's take a trip. Let's take a vacation down to Florida. And I think we're going to stay at a family place that her family had in Florida. And we were very excited about it. And I realized, oh, I'm a. You know, I was in my early 20s. I'd been working, you know, in New Hampshire for a little bit, but I'd never really gone on a vacation since I was a child. My family vacations were important to my family. But then, you know, I became, I don't know, my family sort of split up. I, you know, high school, I don't think we took family vacations. Then college. And then suddenly in my 20s, I was like, oh, wow. I hadn't just taken a vacation to Florida in a long time. And so Vivs and I, as a very young couple, we're like, okay, we'll do this thing. But then what we didn't realize is we had made those plans during hurricane season. And so being on the east coast, you track hurricanes a lot more anyway. And like, that amoeba shape that you're just constantly back in, like the early 2000s, you're hitting refresh on the Weather Channel and watching that amoeba shape approach various parts of the coast closer and closer. And I remember very distinctly this time that we had this vacation planned, and we were watching the storm get closer and closer, closer, and we eventually had to kind of scrap our plans. And that was A strange period of our life because we were still trying to make this decision, do we go or do we not? And in this case, the reason I bring all that up is as I was trying to sort of figure out what this means for us now. Well, it's not like we're watching a storm coming. The storm has come and gone and has wreaked a lot of damage. What I don't want to do is go there if it seems kind of inappropriate, if it's an inappropriate time to go or if it. You know what I mean? If it even sort of seems like chaos tourism or whatever you call. You know what I mean? If I'm going around disaster tourism. Disaster tourism. Because, you know, my favorite thing to do on vacation, other than hang out in a pool and read a book, is just take long walks with my camera and just take photos of things. And I was thinking, well, I guess I'll. I'll take long walks and take photos, only those photos will be very different. That I'm like, ooh, is that kind of gross? And so anyway, these are just the things I've been thinking about. But as we wake up this morning, I mean, it seems unlikely that we won't go on this trip. You know what I mean? Like, flights are. Flights are only going to increase. The ability to travel will only increase, I'm sure because this area relies so much on tourism, they will emphasize the areas that they need to make work for commerce to continue. And so I think it's the right thing for us to continue to go. But it's definitely. It's definitely strange.

[B]

Well, I'm reading an article in Hawaii News now. South Kihei businesses reopened despite massive sinkhole. This is written by Chelsea Davis. And if this article is any indication, I think that folks in the area would be very happy to have people coming and spending time and spending money. Across the street, they're talking about the sinkhole. Employees at Fred's Mexican Cafe were trying to keep spirits up. You're the best, one worker could be heard saying as customers stopped in. Bartender and musician Eamonn McKinney said he was alarmed when power returned and he saw images of the damage. I was without power for a while, but when it came through, all the images came through, I was like, oh, my God, that's right. By my work, I mean, am I gonna have a job tomorrow? Is everybody okay? Of course. I'm just concerned. Fred shut down Friday as the storm hit and remained closed on Saturday, but reopened on Sunday. Kihei resident Aidan MacArthur said the intensity and speed of the rainfall played a major role. Da, da, da, da, da. It's. Somebody said, basically, there's a few different quotes in here from people that either work or live in the area. And the overwhelming sense that I have from everybody is base. Here's somebody saying everybody is still doing their thing. It's nice to see that life is not. It's not sunny yet, but it'll be back, and it's just nice. I think everybody there wants, yeah. Quote, unquote, normal life to return as soon as possible. And I think you all also. This isn't. And I'm not saying this to minimize anyone's experience there, but this is not Hurricane Katrina. You know, this is not the displacement of or even, you know, those horrendous, horrendous fires that. That happened a couple of years ago. This seems to be something that, you know, people are getting through and it's. It's damaging and it's sad for those folks that lost that home, but it doesn't. There aren't any reports that I've seen of people losing their lives.

[A]

Yeah, I think.

[B]

I think, honestly, I think you need to spend twice as much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As you planned on.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's really. That's the true. That's the true heroism of this for you and Genevieve is to go there and to. If you were gonna have two Mai Tais, have four Mai Tais. If you think I'm gonna take one surf lesson, take two surf lessons.

[A]

If you think I'm breaking my no tipping rule because of this, you got another thing coming, buddy. Yeah, no, that all makes a lot of sense. I think last night, hearing this kind of for the first time late at night was. It was a mixture of a lot of feelings. First of all, she. Shame that I didn't already know, like, for real, just kind of like, oh, my God, how am I. How is my head that solidly up my keyster that I did. I'm leaving for this place, and I wasn't even tracking this at all. But then also just kind of like, yeah, what is. What is the right thing to do? And also, what is the right thing to do for us as well? You know what I mean? As far as, like, can we get in and out? Is there is.

[B]

How about the Airbnb?

[A]

We're waiting to hear back. Yeah, we're waiting to hear back. So she reached out last night, and so maybe by the time we wrap up here, maybe she'll have heard back, because again, it is a place that isn't a building that is several stories. I know this place. We haven't stayed in this actual place before, but I've taken photos outside of it of birds. I can exactly picture where we're staying. And so anyway, it's multi level, but I know we're staying in a ground unit because we're kind of excited about that. Like, literally, you can walk out the door, cross the street that now has a big sinkhole in it, and. And the ocean is right there.

[B]

That sinkhole is right by where you're staying.

[A]

The sinkhole is, I believe, on the main road that goes along the coast. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. But it's like. I guess it's just south of us, though, so it'll sort of impede some traffic flows, you know, depending on what the state of it is by the time we get there. But also, it doesn't sort of seem like it's necessarily. Whatever. It's close, but it might not, you know, sink us and our plans necessarily. So anyway, yeah, so last night, it's kind of like. Well, I just don't even know. Like, I was like, I just have to wake up and kind of see how we feel about this in the morning. And everything you said makes a lot of sense. But again, you just want. You want to be somewhat sensitive to the situation, too. And I'll be honest with you, like, it was already. I don't know if I said this on the show because I don't like to. I don't like to be a cliche, but, you know, when a tragedy happened somewhere, especially to, like, remember the fire at Notre Dame, Luke?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

In Paris.

[A]

Yeah. And when that happened, whatever social media I was on at the time, a lot of people were sharing their stories and their connections to it. And it's one of those things where it's like, I've never been there. I don't have a connection to it. But it also, like, I don't know, it can sort of come off sometimes as everybody sort of like almost like when a celebrity dies, and then you get to post your photo that you took with that celebrity at some point when they were still alive. It's a little bit like, I want to be careful here, but a little bit thirsty, a little. Look at me, Louie.

[B]

A little thirsty.

[A]

A little centering yourself in something. And I have never. I'd never had anything like that before. But I will say that as somebody who. My favorite kind of vacation is exactly this, like, going back to a place that we've visited before. And you develop a relationship to like, I'm a very. You'll. I don't know if you know this about me, Luke, but I'm not a very adventurous person. I like comfort. I like knowing my surroundings. And that is sort of the relationship that Jen and I have. Genevieve and I have been lucky enough to sort of build with this little area. I think this is our third time going back, maybe fourth, but third at the very least. And so it feels like both going on vacation but also seeing familiar sights and it feels a little bit like going home. It gives me a very warm feeling for that kind of travel and the Lahaina fires. Like, I didn't, I didn't post any look at Me Louie posts about it. But like I thought about it a lot because I really, for the first time in my life, I really knew this area that is gone. The banyan tree itself I think survived and I think wasn't even damaged too badly. But there was this area and people who know this area know exactly what I'm talking about. Directly across from this huge, beautiful historic banyan tree that is like kind of this open air mall area. But it seemed like it had been built a while ago, so it didn't have like sort of new stank to it sort of, you know what I mean? It wasn't like one of those Vegas malls or even when we were in Hana, like there was this very high end mall area. It was very down to earth, but it had like a little. I knew exactly where. There's this little bookshop in the back of this little mall area and you know, a lot of gift stores and stuff. But there was also a little theater that was tucked up there. And I wish I could remember what movies Veeves and I saw there, but I know we saw at least one movie in this theater when it was raining on the island one day, you know, like.

[B]

And just I was gonna say, what are you doing seeing a movie in Hawaii. But that would make sense.

[A]

When it rains, you do it. And so to go to this old school theater. And I remember it was like all teenagers who were running the. And that was all in this little. In this like, I call it kind of an open air mall. But it really felt like a warren, sort of like all these little places tucked into it. Very, very charming and just gone. It's just, it's my understanding that that was completely wiped out. And so I felt pretty emotional about that, thinking about that and again, not trying to center myself and understanding just the terrible. I mean the. Astounding loss that goes along with everything that happened a couple of years ago there. But also thinking about that and being like, well, that is something that I've known. That is something that I treasure in a certain way. And just knowing it' was already like, I was kind of like, okay, we're going to visit Lahaina. We're going to see how this feels. You know what I mean? And now, also now here in Kihei, we're going to be dealing with something that is not at that level of tragedy, but also, it's just going to seem like this island has had some bad luck.

[B]

Seriously. I actually think the last time Becca and I were there, I think we were on. Which island is this?

[A]

You're on Maui, because you were somewhere way up north, I think.

[B]

Well, we stayed. Yeah, but we were driving. We did our final night in Kihei. We actually switched. Oh, yeah, I remember that accommodations. Because what happened was her brother and sister were staying down in Kihei or Lahaina somewhere, and we were way up, like, the coast, which this gets down to my. I mean, you want to talk about a person who just struggles with spatial awareness. I literally looked at it on the map and I thought, that's like two inches. How far could that be? And it was, like, all the way up. I mean, you drove past Lahaina, you drove past that whole area of Lahaina that was destroyed, and then you kept going north.

[A]

Oh, so you've seen that. Was that pre. That was post fire. Oh, interesting.

[B]

It was post fire, yeah. And. And, and then. So. But then we realized we wanted to hang out with Scott and Tiff, but we were, like, an hour away from them, so. And they were in Kihei, so we ended up, like, scrapping it on our Airbnb, which was on the beach, which I really kind of liked. And then we stayed in. In Kihei for, like, the last night so we could kind of have a fun night and walk around and enjoy ourselves and not, you know, be super far away from everything. But. But even so, it's like. Yeah, I. That area is. Is really. Is really charming and. And I don't have nearly the connection to it that, like you and Veeves do from going back there. But, yeah, it's pretty. It's been pretty devastated that.

[A]

That.

[B]

That island and that part of that island. So hopefully when you guys go there, like I said, you will personally prop the economy back up. Do you have a favorite, like, restaurant or something that you all do when you go there? Like, what. What do you. I know you like to walk around and take pictures. But, like, is there. Is there or a bar that you guys like to go to or something that you're looking forward to?

[A]

There's like a. There's like a little breakfast joint that is like, always super, super, super poppin. That's like kind of right on the. Right on the road there that I'm picturing. And it's like a very low key kind of place, but, like, just kind of wonderful that I'm thinking about that. I know that Genevieve has a reservation. There was some place that we had. I don't know, some. Some fancy place that we had a reservation to. I want to say it's called the Monkey Paw, but that's not right. Oh, of course.

[B]

No, it's called. It's called the Monkey Tree.

[A]

The Monkey Tree. Yeah. I think we have a reservation. Yeah, we went there because I think that the first time we were scheduled to go there, we ended up not being able to go for some reason.

[B]

So definitely go to the Monkey Tree. That place is. That place is great. That's like. Yeah, it totally pays off. It's kind of. Can be like a little bit hard to get a reservation at, but it's totally worth. It would be.

[A]

I don't remember the names of these places, but now that I'm sort of thinking back, there is this little bar area that has an indoor outdoor area that is just like. Again, it's just sort of tucked away. Like the whole place where we stay, it's just like, very. It's very familiar and low key. And I just remember spending a lot of time with Genevieve just like playing cards at a table. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of vacation is like. We're gonna probably be chilling a lot. Genevieve will be on the beach a lot. I'll be doing a lot of walking and reading, and I think there's a pool involved and. Yes, that kind of thing. Yeah. How else am I gonna be?

[B]

Your building has a pool, right?

[A]

I believe the building has a pool, yeah. And so if I come back and basically my face looks normal, but everything below my neck is pure raisin. That is because I've just been hanging in the pool way, way too long. That has happened to me.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I have stayed in the pool for so long reading a book. This is years ago, and it might have been in Mexico or something. My skin got so soft that I damaged the bottom of my feet on the bottom of the pool, I believe, because I hadn't realized I had been soaking Myself for so long that I basically was like Zoidberg when you take off his shell.

[B]

By the way, it's the monkey pod.

[A]

Monkey pod, yeah. Okay, that. That. That is exactly the place, the restaurant

[B]

that I was thinking of.

[A]

Yep, here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[B]

All right, Andrew, can I kind of lead the way here with an email that I hadn't seen this yet this morning? You were the one who hipped me to it, but now I've read in on it a little bit, and it involves listener Kelly who's responding first. I'll give you the AI overview of the email from listener Kelly. Okay, so this was in response to something my mother said on the show yesterday. My mom was staying over here over the weekend and popped on the show yesterday, and I asked her how it was going with the TBTL book club. My mom had said she wanted to be part of the book club, but then had sort of have not followed through with that. And she was describing having some confusion or trouble with accessing the book club. And my assumption was, and again, I love my mom so much, but my assumption was that when people heard my mom complaining about not being able to log into the book club, it would be very, very obvious that my mom was the problem, not the book club or not the availability of it, et cetera. Like, I just thought that was very, very, very obvious and very apparent. But of course, Kelly, who was part of the book club and had been trying so hard to reach out to my mom and get my mom involved.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In the book club, was like, wait, wait, hold on. Here's the AI overview of Kelly's email. Kelly expressed shock that Susie found it difficult to join the private Facebook club despite being a member for eight months. Kelly confirmed Susie was invited to the September meeting and subsequent events, asking what else they can do to encourage her attendance. That's the Gemini summary of what Kelly is saying in this email where she's basically laying out, well, here's what she says.

[A]

Can I. Can I just jump in and say one thing about yesterday's conversation with your mom, too, that I did find surprising. Of course I want to be gentle here because we love Susie B. And she's your mom, and I don't want to overstep here, but I was surprised at your mom's sort of tone towards the situation because I would have assumed it would have been like, oh, yeah, I don't know. I know I logged in. But then I just kind of can't figure out how to actually join. But there was a slightly accusatory tone in your mom saying, like, well, let's get it together, guys. What's going on with this thing? And so that sort of sets the table for Kelly feeling like, oh, well, we really, really, really tried to loop you in.

[B]

Well, first of all, I mean, have you met me, Andrew, Think about the block that I'm a chip from. No, I was always assume it's someone else's fault. That's where I get it from. And if you're having trouble with something, it couldn't possibly be you.

[A]

Especially technology.

[B]

Right? Right. These are my people. This is my proud Irish heritage at play here. So, yeah, Kelly basically said, let's see here. She said, good. Dear Cobros, listening to episode 4684, I was shocked to hear Susie say that it was difficult to be part of the book club. Three exclamation points. The TBTL Stents Book Club is a private group on Facebook that Susie joined eight months ago and is still currently a member. And then she just includes exhibit A, like, I mean, in the words of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, receipts. That's the only part of that that I know. She says a lot of things, but one of them is receipts. These are the receipts. There are so many different screencaps of various people, it would seem, who are part of the book club. Inviting my mom, reminding my mom, showing my mom where she needs to click, doing everything possible in the world to include my mom in the book club to absolutely no avail. So I want to just. I want to.

[A]

She even says, like, I think your mom was maybe complaining on the podcast. So somebody wrote okay and then tagged her. We hear you. We'll organize a date soon. And then, like, all of these, like, are you in, Susie? Tagging, Tagging, tagging. Like, kind of. And so that's why I sort of feel for Kelly, feeling like we really did. We went way out of our way to make this happen.

[B]

But I actually love this because it's finally the listeners of the podcast who have been. Who love, love the sort of. What do you call it? Just love the wild and woolly way that my mom lives her life. It's all fun and games until you have anything riding on it.

[A]

Can I read the very end of Kelly's email? I assume that you weren't going back to this or going back to it in order, but I do think it's important that Kelly says we do want Susie to join us? We'd love to have her. Also, we want anyone who's interested in chatting about books to join us at, at our every other month meetings. So if you don't know how to do that, if you're not on Facebook, you can reach out to me and John and we'll connect you to Kelly and the gang. But it ends with what else can we do? Question mark, exclamation point. Question mark, exclamation point. I could just feel Kelly's frustration in this email. Her loving frustration again.

[B]

I'm just glad that Kelly finally understands what it's like to be related to my mother in any sort of endeavor, because, yeah, there is. There is, I would say, a almost zero percent chance that my mom will pull this up. By the way, even if it were doable, it would probably be like, in other words, even if my mom had the wherewithal to navigate the parts of Facebook that she's trying to navigate, I'm saying, like, if you were meeting at my mom's house, it would be, to me, a low probability that she's gonna read the book and do all, do all the stuff related to being in the book club. So then maybe what this can be, though, is a larger ad for the book club to get other people who do follow through on things to be part of it. Maybe that's the kind of, maybe that's the silver lining to this whole thing. By the way, they're reading Silver Linings Playbook next just to spite me.

[A]

Are they really?

[B]

I think. No, no.

[A]

Oh, you said silver lining. I'm like, oh, man, that was a perfect transition. Know.

[B]

Anyway, so, Kelly, Sorry, I, I, I, I assumed it was obvious who the problem was, but in case it felt like in any way I was saying, or I was allowing mother to say, you guys were the problem. You guys were not the problem. And, and let the record reflect that, please.

[A]

Absolutely, absolutely. All right, we'll leave it there.

[B]

All right, that's, that's going to do it for today's episode of the show. We got to. I got to get out of here, Andrew, because, you know, the next phase of the, the construction here is Walt and I are going to actually finally install the kitchen island here in the Madrona Hill studio so that I have got a working sink that is not the bathroom sink, so I do not have to continue washing my coffee cups in the bathroom sink.

[A]

Were we talking about washing apples in there, too? No, that was my KCRW thing. I remember, like, things were so tight at kcrw. We didn't have a kitchen area really. I see an apple and a bathroom. Yeah, I think my colleague Anna had to wash washer apple in the bathroom and we're all just like. That's a sad state of affairs. Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, we're going to be going through some upgrades here, but we need to. I might actually be doing tomorrow's show from the house, actually, because this whole place might be a construction zone. We shall see.

[A]

What about your treadmill?

[B]

Oh, I mean, I can do the treadmill early in the morning. I can go down to the lake. I mean, I'll figure that part out. But we might just have a lot of hammering and sawing and, and, and things. Things going on in here tomorrow. So we'll see. But in the meantime, that's going to do it for today's episode. We will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So please, please, please join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[A]

And good luck to all. Power out.