#4704 Statue Of Limitations

Summary

TBTL #4704 “Statue of Limitations” (April 13, 2026) – Detailed Summary

Episode Theme Overview In this Monday episode of TBTL, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh banter their way through an array of topics—ranging from the unveiling mishap of the new Ichiro Suzuki statue, reflections on childhood movie trauma, observations on the fast-changing world of fashion, updates on Andrew’s new puppy (Lucy), and the ongoing saga of the TBTL-sponsored little league team, the Parkside Jalapeños. This episode, true to TBTL form, balances personal storytelling, pop culture references, and slice-of-life humor, all with a relaxed, self-aware tone.

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1. Opening Banter and Coffee Time Travel

• 00:00-02:00 – The show opens with a comedic skit featuring Luke, Andrew, and "Rick Riz," riffing on the concept of always being one pot of coffee ahead. They humorously explore time management, chores, and the existential dread of future coffee.
  • Quote:
    “The only reason we have today’s coffee is because I worried about it yesterday.” — Luke Burbank (00:34)

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2. Monday the 13th, Sound Effects, & Nostalgia Riffs

• 03:10-05:00 – Andrew ponders why “Monday the 13th” isn’t considered just as scary as Friday the 13th. This segues into discussions about the show’s sound effects: thunder, lightning, Wilhelm scream, and the backstory of a “woman being struck by lightning” sound.

  • Quote:
    “For the rest of our lives, we will always be one pot of coffee ahead.” — Rick Riz (01:00)

• 05:00-08:00 – The hosts veer into classic movies—specifically, references to Caddyshack, Anchorman, and the infamous “triple Lindy” scene from Back to School. Mis-remembered details and their confusion become a running joke.

  • Quote:
    “This has become a real tradition on the show. I just… of wrong stuff. And then we go on about a five-minute adventure of trying to clean up exactly what the hell I’m referring to.” — Andrew (06:09)

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3. Childhood Movie Memories & Scary Villains

• 08:00-16:30 – Luke and Andrew swap formative movie memories, especially scenes that stuck with them because they didn’t understand them as kids. This includes:
  • Rodney Dangerfield’s “no respect” persona
  • The confusing “good side of the Great Wall” joke in Caddyshack
  • Genevieve’s childlike confusion in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
  • Cruella de Vil and other overly scary Disney villains (“the bad lady from the movie The Rescuers” – 12:00)
  • Dabney Coleman talk (Cloak and Dagger and Henry Thomas from E.T.) along with 1980s kid movies that were darker than expected.
  • Quote:
    “A lot of the jokes that really are weird… that stick with me are like, because I saw it as a kid, I didn’t fully understand it, so I just chewed on it in my brain for a long time.” — Andrew (07:48)

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4. Scary Movie Lighting and “When a Stranger Calls”

• 16:30-19:30 – The hosts reflect on the scary, poorly lit look of 1970-80s thrillers like When a Stranger Calls, and how a movie’s lighting or graininess increases its unsettling effect.
  • Quote:
    “To me, what was scary was just that they weren’t lit that well… grainy kind of.” — Luke (16:32)
  • Discussion of how cell phones would ruin the “call coming from inside the house” plot twist in modern reboots.

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5. Fast Fashion and Cyclical Trends

• 19:11-25:21 – After discussing the look of 2006-era movies, Luke comments on seeing early-2000s fashion come back into style (affliction T-shirts, low-rise jeans, “Britney Spears movie” attire), pointing out how fashion cycles seem shorter than ever.
  • Andrew cites a snarky US Magazine headline about Mariah Carey’s jeans (21:40), which is met with appreciation for good magazine humor.
  • Quote:
    “I think really what I think it is overall with fashion is more than any time that I remember in my life, it really is anything goes. And I’m not saying that as a negative.” — Luke (23:04)
  • The hosts reminisce about how now “anything goes,” which leaves Luke “even more confused about what’s going on” but ultimately supportive of a more inclusive fashion landscape.

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6. Puppy News: Lucy Joins the Pack

• 25:26-32:37 – Andrew provides a detailed, candid update about life with his new puppy, Lucy. He explains the logistics of integrating Lucy with current dog Bingo, Lucy’s progress with potty training, and the emotional rollercoaster of being a new pup parent.
  • Observations about Lucy’s separation anxiety and the process of letting both dogs bond credibly.
  • Quote:
    “I’m a little bit out of my gourd still… Got up at like 4 am to take her outside, but successfully, by the way.” — Andrew (32:11)
  • Andrew laments how much of his life now revolves around “pee pee and poo poo” talk, stating, “That’s not who I am. I am a man of faith and propriety.” (32:19)
  • Luke: “The Mariners are undefeated during times when Lucy has been watching them, as far as I understand.” (32:37)

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7. Little League Update: TBTL’s Parkside Jalapeños

• 33:15-41:01 – Luke reads a vivid report from Coach Ben about the TBTL-sponsored little league team’s latest game.
  • The Jalapeños, featuring players like Armani, Atlas, Amos, and others, start strong but face a “witching hour” collapse during the 5th inning, ultimately losing to the Hollywood Rose City Muddy Ducks.
  • Coach Ben’s updates are peppered with “Looney Tunes” references and philosophical musings. Coach awards “Hustlepins” for outstanding effort.
  • Quote:
    “As has become our custom, the Jalapeños came out hot in the first… Look at that, Andrew. That’s AAA—Armani, Atlas, and Amos.” — Luke (36:09)

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8. Birdsong, Dogs, and Paul Simon in a Turkey Suit

• 41:01-48:07 – Andrew’s pet birds accidentally blast birdsong audio over the show, which dovetails into a spontaneous play of the classic SNL sketch where Paul Simon sings “Still Crazy After All These Years” in a turkey costume.
  • The two delight in the gentle comedy and nostalgia of classic SNL and reflect on the changing role of Lorne Michaels (“He doesn’t have as many lines as he used to…” — Luke at 47:31)
  • Quote:
    “Lauren Michaels is not as much of a character these days on SNL as he used to be, right?” — Andrew (47:24)

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9. More SNL & TV Production Talk

• 48:07-51:26 – Quick detour into Lorne Michaels’ wide-ranging SNL-adjacent TV output (Detroiters, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), and the important but often unsung waves his career has made in TV comedy.
  • Origin story of how Lorne Michaels picked Conan O’Brien as a late-night talk show host: “100% Lorne Michaels… He was the one who said, ‘Yeah, I think Conan O’Brien could do it.’ ” — Luke (50:35)

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10. Dazzling Donors Acknowledgements

• 52:37-59:54 – Amid continued puppy mayhem, Luke and Andrew thank this episode’s Dazzling Donors:
  • Kelly Nilsen (San Diego): Supporting a woman-owned financial business and her son’s impending college journey.
  • Elizabeth Tuchel (Seattle): Pays tribute to the vintage bus driver at the Seahawks’ Super Bowl parade who heroically navigated a narrow tunnel, providing photos and a salute.

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11. Top Story: The Ichiro Statue Bat Fiasco

(60:24–69:33)

• Context & Unveiling: Mariners legend Ichiro Suzuki’s statue is unveiled outside T-Mobile Park, with baseball icons Ken Griffey Jr. and Edgar Martinez in attendance and Rick Riz serving as emcee.

• Debacle: During the dramatic drape-removal, the statue’s bat snaps, drooping awkwardly before assembled fans and media. All present handle it with humor and aplomb:

  • Ken Griffey Jr. cracks up, Ichiro laughs, and Rick Riz quips: “All right, we’re going to count down from 51.” (61:18)
  • Riz later jokes: “There was a fastball inside, but he still got a base hit,” referencing the broken-bat hit. (63:40)
  • Ichiro, through his interpreter, blames legendary Yankees closer Mariano Rivera: “I didn’t expect Mariano Rivera to pop up and break my bat.” (63:52)
  • The Mariners social media leans in, posting a Tweet of the broken-bat statue as the night’s giveaway (64:12).
  • The hosts note the moment might have been glossed over in the official Mariners broadcast out of sensitivity.

• Larger Reflection: Luke marvels at the challenges of statue engineering—especially the uniqueness of capturing Ichiro’s one-armed, upright bat pose. There’s relief that the likeness of Ichiro himself was good (not a “Lucille Ball statue” situation).

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12. Mariners’ Winning Streak and Mood

• 68:55 – Both hosts admit that their mood about the statue mishap is buoyed by the Mariners’ current winning streak: “Honestly, it’s a thousand times more memorable now. It has such a great story,” Andrew says (68:51).

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13. Wrapping Up: Puppy Management and the Week Ahead

• 69:33–72:15 – The hosts sign off discussing how Andrew and Genevieve will juggle dog “shifts” this week; Lucy’s training continues to dominate their lives. Andrew reveals he and Genevieve look forward to taking Lucy to “bars and parks,” even as a young contractor teases them for having their priorities in that order.

  • Final Words:
    “Have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.” — Luke (71:52)
    “And good luck to all. Sorry about the audio problems. That was Bingo sitting on the board.” — Andrew (72:02)

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TIMESTAMPS FOR KEY SEGMENTS

• 00:00-02:00 – Opening coffee skit
• 03:14 – “Monday the 13th” and sound effects discussion
• 08:00–16:30 – Childhood movie confusions & scary Disney villains
• 19:11–25:21 – Fashion nostalgia: the 2000s reappear
• 25:26–32:37 – Puppy update: Lucy’s adjustment & Andrew’s puppy fatigue
• 33:15–41:01 – Little League Jalapeños game report
• 41:01–48:07 – Birdsong interruption + Paul Simon SNL turkey costume sketch
• 60:24–69:33 – Main story: Ichiro statue’s broken bat unveiling

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NOTABLE QUOTES

• “The only reason we have today’s coffee is because I worried about it yesterday.” — Luke Burbank (Coffee skit, 00:34)
• “That’s not who I am. I am a man of faith and propriety.” — Andrew, on life becoming about puppy potty training (32:19)
• “For the rest of our lives, we will always be one pot of coffee ahead.” — Rick Riz (01:00)
• “This has become a real tradition on the show… [of] wrong stuff. And then we go on about a five-minute adventure of trying to clean up exactly what the hell I’m referring to.” — Andrew (06:09)
• “But as I remind the players, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. That’s the lesson we’ll carry forward.” — Coach Ben (40:32)
• “The Mariners are undefeated during times when Lucy has been watching them, as far as I understand.” — Luke (32:37)
• “All losses sting. This one lingered because it was a game we could and probably should have won. We were the better team.” — Coach Ben report, read by Luke (40:32)
• "I didn't expect Mariano Rivera to pop up and break my bat." — Ichiro, through interpreter, via Luke (63:52)
• "Honestly, it's a thousand times more memorable now. It has such a great story." — Andrew, on the bat mishap (68:51)

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TONE & STYLE

The conversation is upbeat, self-deprecating, and rambling in only the ways that TBTL knows how: deeply referential, full of running in-jokes, and peppered with affectionate ribbing. Both Luke and Andrew embrace the show’s inside-baseball (sometimes literally) feel, delighting in their listeners’ tolerance for digression and absurdity.

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Summary By: [Podcast Summarizer AI, June 2024]

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

What a beautiful morning it is now. Oh, thanks for getting up to make the coffee. I didn't. What? I made this coffee yesterday.

[Rick Riz]

But it tastes like you made it today.

[Luke Burbank]

That's because I used yesterday's coffee. It tastes like you made it today.

[Rick Riz]

That's a time saver.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Rick Riz]

Hey, if we leave now, we could catch the ferry to Grassy Point, have

[Andrew Walsh]

a picnic like we used to.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounds great, but I can't. I gotta make tomorrow's coffee.

[Rick Riz]

Can't we worry about tomorrow's coffee tomorrow?

[Luke Burbank]

Nope. The only reason why we have today's coffee is because I worried about it yesterday.

[Rick Riz]

So tomorrow we'll drink the yesterday's coffee that you made today?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. And I'll make the next day's yesterday's coffee tomorrow. Then can we go on a picnic? We'll see.

[Rick Riz]

Ted, I really.

[Andrew Walsh]

What?

[Luke Burbank]

Damn it, Jill.

[Rick Riz]

I'm sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm doing this for us. I know. Someone has to think about the future.

[Rick Riz]

I understand.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you?

[Rick Riz]

For the rest of our lives, we will always be one pot of coffee ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

Until that day when I make a pot of coffee that neither of us will ever drink. I'm gonna lie down.

[Rick Riz]

TBTL.

[Luke Burbank]

These are the circuits of history, gentlemen. They'll take us to any point in time. We wicked give it my power. It's in the wind.

[Rick Riz]

Oh, my God. Woo.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen to that horn. Oh my God.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, she's beautiful. Sounds like you're really going through some tough stuff right now. It's too bad there's not doctors for your mind.

[Luke Burbank]

My mom's in prison for two years for Tasering up to 22 dogs.

[Rick Riz]

She has this weird condition where she

[Luke Burbank]

smells like a cat that happens to

[Andrew Walsh]

smell like Hamburger Helper.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, this is special.

[Rick Riz]

This is special.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

If they can't stand the heat, get out of the bedroom right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your host. That's a pretty good spoof coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia. It must be the first day of some kind of fishing that you're allowed to do on the Mighty Columbia because there are tons of small boats out there. People are out there fishing, doing their thing. We're inside. We're bringing you episode 4704 in a collector series, Let the Fun begin. There was a statue of Ichiro Suzuki that was unveiled outside of T Mobile Stadium the other day. And, well, there were some issues.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was literally a major disaster.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of baseball, we got an update on the TBTL Junior Sluggers, Kids and Fantasy, also known as the Jalapenos. They played another game. We'll get to the update from coach Ben. And we're also going to say hello to this young guy, the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. They suddenly realized I was talking to them. He is Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Why is, mm, Friday the 13th so scary? And we're just blase about Monday the 13th, which today is. That doesn't make sense to me. Mondays are worse than Fridays.

[Luke Burbank]

Arguably, Monday the 13th should be what we're afraid of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm doing. You don't have the drop. I'm doing the drop for you. The splash. Imagine somebody splashing into water and they're going.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the Walsh helm scream.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, well, that's not what I was trying to do. I'm trying to do the one that. I think I'm misdescribing it, but it always, to me sounds like somebody's jumping into the water and then screaming. It sounds like it begins with a splash and then a scre. And you play.

[Luke Burbank]

Not this one.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's. No, that's Wilhelm.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you thinking of the lightning sound?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, is it lightning? Lightning doesn't make a sound.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know what I mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's thunder. That sound is thunder. I Thunder.

[Luke Burbank]

To me, I call it lightning in the drops. You're right. Lightning doesn't make a sound. For years I've been calling it lightning.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can only picture that as somebody doing a cannonball into a pool. It sounds just like somebody splashing. To me.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a woman who was actually struck by lightning. That's why I'm calling it lightning.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you told me this.

[Luke Burbank]

She was taking a photo or something. She was out in a field somewhere. She was somehow recording herself and.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

And that was the moment she survived, though, thankfully. Yeah, that was the moment that she was. No, we wouldn't even. We probably wouldn't know what had happened.

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

But yeah, that's a woman being struck by lightning. And the sound that she made when that happened.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. Yeah, you'll tell me that again probably in a year or five years, but I'll continue to picture somebody cannonballing into a pool. Who does the most famous. Is that Ladybugs? What's the movie? That is the famous, famous Cannonball scene. I feel like it's a Rodney Dangerfield scene. I've never seen it, but you've described it to me before.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is Bill Murray from Caddyshack saying cannonball coming. But I believe at that point he's talking about maybe smoking a J with Chevy Chase's character. Or actually it might be some weird alcohol they're drinking. Okay, there's a moment where Bill Murray, the. The groundskeeper for Bushwood Country Club in Caddyshack where he happens upon. Oh, no, Chevy Chase is playing, is. Is like, he's the like club pro and he hits the ball accidentally into Bill Murray's, you know, groundskeeper shack and comes in there and is thoroughly disturbed by the conditions in which Bill Murray's character is living.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

But then they start smoking some weed and hanging out. And I think Bill Murray says something like, hey, if you ever want to just, you know, hang out, get loose, you know, And I think Chevy Chase says, yeah, you call me or I'll call you or. Anyway, that scene is where he says cannonball coming. Now, there's also a thing where. Where Will Ferrell yells cannonball in Anchorman where he's jumping into his swimming pool at a point in the movie where everything is going great for him.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, obviously it's not your fault for not following my gibberish as usual. This has become a real tradition on the show. I just. Of wrong stuff. And then we go on about a five minute adventure of trying to clean up exactly what the hell I'm referring to. I was thinking of not Ladybugs, but a scene that I've never seen, but that you've described to me many times from Back to School, which is the triple.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, the triple. Lindy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rodney Dangerfield. I had to look it up here. That's how I know. But I mean, maybe I've seen it on the show, but I've never. I don't think I've ever sat down to watch Back to School before.

[Luke Burbank]

Now here's where the confusion is even more confused. Rodney Dangerfield is also in Caddyshack. So when you mentioned Rodney Dangerfield and said Cannonball, that was definitely.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is in Caddyshack. And you know what I think about him is zero respect.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, can't get any. Yeah, one of the less respected. Although actually, funnily enough, in Caddyshack, he plays a. He is actually the guy who is giving out the no respect. Can you give out no respect?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's a really good point. He, he.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, and often, you know, hurt people.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hurt people, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So Roddy Dangerfield has lived a life of not being respected. Then. And then he makes a bunch of money in the plot line of Caddyshack, and then he's just an absolute boar. He's the most boorish person you've ever.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

I can kind of picture he's introducing this. This Chinese businessman around the club, and he says, hey, this is Wang. He owns property. He owns property near the Great Wall of China. On the good side. I grew up not understanding. I still don't really understand what that joke is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Explain it to me, because it just

[Luke Burbank]

is one of those things that stuck with me.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just sort of sounds funny. I honest. I know I've said this on the show before, but I think the reason that specific thing stuck with you is because it confused you. I think the things from our youth that really stick with us. And I've given this example before, but Genevieve, you know the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? I've given this example. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know it well, but I'm familiar with, like, the people that are in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm pretty sure I saw that in the theater, which was a really funny movie. And I remember my dad laughing a lot. I saw it with my mom and my dad. But there's also some pretty. I think there's some dirty scenes or suggestive scenes in there as well. And I know that Genevieve also saw that in the theater with her family. And there's a scene where there's somebody who is coded as pervy in the moment, and I can't remember who it is. It doesn't really matter, but it's just kind of a classic. I'm putting on a rubber glove, and it's just suggesting something dirty or something. And Genevieve. Or, you know, upsetting. And Genevieve laughs at it. Cause it's a laugh line. And she's a little girl, and she said she saw it in the theater, and her dad. Her and said, do you know why that's funny? And she didn't have a good answer. I don't think he was trying to be a jerk. I think he was just saying, like, do you.

[Luke Burbank]

He was trying to understand the joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he's like. He was turning to her like I turned to you. And I'm trying to understand something from back to school. I think he was just like, oh, she's laughing at that. Why is that funny to you? And I think that she didn't have a good answer for it. And so that really stuck with her too. And I think that a lot of the jokes that maybe like, really are weird, like kind of unrelated to anything else in my life, little lines from movies and stuff that stick with me are like, well, because I saw it as a kid, I didn't fully understand it, so I think I just chewed on it in my brain for a long time and then, then it implanted.

[Luke Burbank]

He did say a joke that I was able to mostly follow, did Ronnie Dangerfield's character. He's there eating at the club and he is complaining about the steak. And he says, hey, the steak still has marks from where the jockey was beating it. Sorry, Wes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's not. Oh, geez.

[Luke Burbank]

Not PETA approved. I don't approve. I don'.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of that. There goes. There goes my housewarming gift. There goes my puppy warming gift from West.

[Luke Burbank]

Were you gonna get. Are. Are you. Are you manifesting that or did Wes promise to send you something?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a backup beeping sound. I. This is me backing up from Luke's Rodney Dangerfield quote. I mentioned you in passing the other day on the show that I did get a nice note from Wes who said, hey, I heard you're adopting a puppy and I really appreciate that you're adopting a puppy and not like buying a puppy or something like that. And that's great and we'd love to

[Luke Burbank]

stealing you a little or.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did. Ste. I. What he doesn't know is I actually said this. This was an off color joke.

[Luke Burbank]

Real people steal puppies.

[Andrew Walsh]

When we went. That could be a showdown. When we went to pick up Lucy, like not. Not just meet her for the first time, but pick her up last Wednesday when we walked into the. That was not her. Although if I turn. If I shut up for a second, you might be able to hear her through the wall. She's freaking out upstairs. But this is the first time we've left her alone for more than like five minutes. And this is. This is literally right now the moment. This is we're living in the moment that I've been most anxious about all weekend, which is because she just has not had any alone time. And the few minutes we leave her alone, she just starts howling and barking. But it has to be done. And so she's upstairs behind a baby gate right now. But the inappropriate joke I made when we went to pick up Lucy was we showed up at the foster parents house or whatever and. Or the foster house, and I said, wouldn't it be. What would you. I think I said, what would you do. If I showed up in a coat made of puppy first

[Luke Burbank]

foster parents.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did. What was the Disney movie? Or.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, that's one generations.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it's Mr. Burns. It's a.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe my vest.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Which is a take on, I believe, Cruella de Vil. Right. It's kind of a. I think it's.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Kind of a riff on that. But, yeah, she's very. That Cruella Deville, if I can, for just a moment. And then I. I do want to get the Lucy update and. And I want to tell you how the junior Sluggers have been doing. But Cruella Deville was part of this sort of series of characters in the Disney movies that I think were made scarier than they needed to be. Like, Cruella de Ville was freaking terrifying. I was also a pretty sheltered kid around movies, so I didn't, like, see a lot of scary movies, but she didn't need to be that scary. Nor did there was a. The bad lady from the movie the Rescuers, which was kind of a little bit of a slept on, I think, Disney movie. But it's a really good one. It's about these two. I think they're mice who go around helping people, but their airplane is an albatross, and they sit in a sardine can, and they've got to go save this little girl named Penny.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you did no drugs in college. You're sticking with that story? Because this really sounds like a trick.

[Luke Burbank]

I need to do some drugs and watch that movie. But they go to. I think this is all the rescuers. They go to the bayou to save this little girl, Penny, who is. She's being. She's being made to go down in this hole that's rapidly filling with water because she's supposed to be getting this diamond for this scary lady. And the lady is way too scary. In the movie, the Rescuers, much like Cruella de Villa, is way too scary. By the way, I'm looking at a cover of the. I got this exactly right. It's two mice in a sardine can on the back of an albatross. He got that way more right than I expected.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, when you talk about scary characters from movies, I'm trying to think because I feel like I've already repeated things that I not have just said once or twice on the show, but many, many times on the show. So I'm hesitating to bring this up again because my go to for this type of conversation is the movie Cloak and Dagger, which was not animated and not Disney. It was probably more for like maybe a slightly older child, but you know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do you know who's in Cloak and Dagger? Luke, you're drinking a Fresca. It was a rhetorical question. You don't have to answer that. Dabney Coleman. I'm just making the Dabney Coleman expression.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe that Lucy escaped being named Dabney Pullman on the brain.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what? Is it too late.

[Luke Burbank]

Getting another dog. You're getting a boy dog. You're naming him Dabney?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, shoot. Regrets? I have a few. I don't know if that's how the song goes, but there's a very. So that's a live action movie and it's about kids. It's very, very 80s. And there's like, like with a lot of these movies, there's like secret, you know, government plans or secret agent plans that are hidden inside of a video game cartridge. And the kids accidentally get, you know, swap a rude. And now the kids are in possession of this very valuable thing that bad people are trying to get. But at one point, this kid, the main character, as I remember it, which I'm gonna get some details wrong here, but he's in the back seat of some car. He kind of gets picked up by these two older adults. Sorry, I'm just like living in a goddamn menagerie now. Bingo's walking on my board. He's not supposed to be in here. He's not even supposed to be in here right now. But everybody's schedules are all messed up. But anyway, he somehow gets scooped up by this, what looks like sort of a nicer older couple, maybe in their 60s or 70s or whatever, kind of a blue haired, white haired lady or whatever. But then it becomes pretty clear that they're kind of menacing and they're menacing this boy. And then I believe the woman takes off her white glove and might be missing some fingers. She might only have like two fingers and a thumb or something like that. Terrifying, Luke. Absolutely terrifying for me as a young kid. And I think.

[Luke Burbank]

But then she puts a glove on the other hand, which is sexy.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then she does. And it's like this kind of lacy Madonna esque thing. Yes. Oh, I didn't even get your reference. No, to answer your question, no, I did not know.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, I'm watching the cringe potatoes. No, you don't. I'm watching this. A little trailer for Cloak and Dagger. I didn't realize it's got Henry Thomas in it. The same kid from E.T.

[Andrew Walsh]

oh, right, right.

[Luke Burbank]

What a time to be Henry Thomas.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I know. And I know this has come up before because of this exact. I always think, like, that was one of those moments as a kid where I was like, that is so scary. But I really like that movie. And I think it came up on the show maybe several years ago now, because I think I rewatched it. I think I was feeling nostalgic. And maybe sometime in the past five years or maybe longer than that ago, I rewatched it and I talked about it on the show with you because it remains scary as hell. I remember thinking, like, no kidding, I was scared of this. It goes too hard.

[Luke Burbank]

Like you said, it probably also. I mean, does it also have to do with. Basically, if this makes any sense, the lighting of the film, maybe the color of the. There was this era of the late 70s, early 80s movies where sometimes for me, what was scary was just that they weren't lit that well just because

[Andrew Walsh]

it was grainy kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Grainy kind of. I mean, sometimes it was intentional. Like, there's that movie, When a Stranger Calls, which is. That is the original. When a Stranger Calls is the scariest movie I'd ever seen as a kid where basically this little. This teenager is babysitting and this guy starts calling the house and he says, like, have you checked on the children? The babysitter comes over to the house.

[Andrew Walsh]

You've told me about this.

[Luke Burbank]

The parents have already put the kids down to sleep. And she just gets. She's just supposed to hang out living room and just wait while the parents go get dinner or whatever. And she's sitting there in the living room, and then the phone rings and it's. You know, it's. By having you checked on the children. And Guy keeps calling her, and then she calls the cops and. And they trace the call and the. The call is coming from. Don't say it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm literally. Can you see my arms? You did it. You literally gave me the goosebumps. I knew what you were going to say.

[Luke Burbank]

So dark. The lighting is so weird in the movie. It's just terrible. And it's really. It's. It's a really legit scary movie. They've probably rebooted it. I mean, it's such a good premise for a film. Although, I don't know, is that one of the movies that would be ruined by the advent of cell phones? You know, like, from a plot standpoint.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's interesting, because I'm looking at the tr. When you type it in, unfortunately, the reboot has way more, you know, better SEO than the original.

[Luke Burbank]

Original.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I'm seeing, like, a trailer for it. Now they. I'm trying to see is she on a cell phone or.

[Luke Burbank]

It's called When a Stranger Calls is the original.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And that's the same for the. For the reboot as well. Now I'm seeing a landline.

[Luke Burbank]

Now it's when a stranger texts.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Why haven't you checked on the children myself, Dad? I don't want you driving home alone

[Rick Riz]

this far so late at night.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

She's showing up for her gig.

[Luke Burbank]

We were so thrilled to find a babysitter at the last minute.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, this is cheap as hell.

[Luke Burbank]

Is this the new one?

[Andrew Walsh]

This is the new one. 2006. I just wanted to see if she's ever on a cell phone for the landing.

[Luke Burbank]

Just make yourself a call.

[Andrew Walsh]

But this feels so 2006. I didn't know that 2006 had a vibe. It does. She thought, wow.

[Luke Burbank]

The original When a Stranger calls made for one and a half million and it earned 25 million.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow. So this is very landline based. Even in 2006, children,

[Luke Burbank]

This feature cannot be used with another.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, there's a cell phone, I think. Nope, it's a portable phone. Anyway, that was fun for everybody. But she. Boy, 2006, very, very millennial style. You kind of got that very kind of tight Britney Spears esque T shirt sort of low rise, which are back, by the way. Really? Is that a thing? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I was at the mall yesterday, and it seems like, what's happening with fashion? Well, first of all, what's happening is I don't understand it. It's not for me any longer, and that's fine. But the other thing is, I feel like the cycle of fashion has compressed. And by that I mean, you know, what, like an Affliction kind of T shirt?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of big. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

They're essentially back. They're not called Affliction, but like that style of kind of like the. The printing on the shirt being kind of intentionally off kilter and being very like either like an angel's wings with like a barbed wire around it or, you know, just like the imagery of that whole kind of vibe. It's totally back. And I'm like. That needed to be on the sidelines for longer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, that.

[Luke Burbank]

That was. You were. I put you Affliction. You were on a 20 year timeout. What are you doing back? Unless. Has it really been 20 years? Maybe it has. I just. I was Struck by how many things. And yes, a lot of the, A lot of the young people of the young women at the mall were dressed very much like they could have been in a Britney Spears movie of the, you know, 2006 era. Yeah. Kind of like sort of. I don't even know how to describe it, but kind of like hip hugger jeans maybe, and, and but like a sort of tight T shirt, you know, kind of thing. It's like, it just feels like it's the early 2000s again. I guess that's what happens because that was 25 years ago. I guess that's how cycles work.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, this might be from that era because, you know, I mentioned the low, the low rise jeans. Is that the right word?

[Luke Burbank]

Or are the low rises talking to the wrong guy?

[Andrew Walsh]

But you know what I mean, the 90s, the pants that a lot of women wore that were like, they kind of sats down, like lower down on the hips or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're right. I'm googling low rise jeans because this is just killing some of the listening.

[Andrew Walsh]

Millennials, like, this is their.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the good news is we don't have any of those listeners.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, exactly. But I was just thinking how we sort of low keyed, dissed Taylor Swift the other day. I just look just a little. We're talking about the puppies who are all named after Taylor Swift. Oh, yeah, I was like a little eye rolly about it occurred to me like, oh, yeah, that doesn't, that kind of attitude doesn't hurt our bottom line at all. This is the Taylor Swift loving millennials in our audience. They don't make up like 90% of the audience probably. But I can't. Oh, I know. I remember. I think it was Us magazine. It had like the stars. They're just like us and other things. Genevieve had it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I love that column.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that magazine. And Genevieve had a subscription to that her and her roommate did in the 90s or I'm sorry, when I was dating in the early 2000.

[Luke Burbank]

I was surprised you liked that magazine.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was great because it just knew what it was. It just knew what it was. And it was funny and it was snarky and it was just like I did. I loved that she got it. And I would read it or, you know, at least flip through it or ever when I was over there. And I remember, I remember one time. So this is the era of lower jeans. Wearing them lower on your hips. Yeah. And they showed a picture of Mariah Carey and she was wearing high Waisted jeans, like Obama pants or something. Before we called them that and the head. This is why I liked US magazine. The headline was high question mark, waisted question mark or just high waisted question mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I was like, that is a burn. That is such a burn.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's what's so strange though. Both of those styles are in style currently. So we went to a little housewarming party on Saturday, Becca and I did. And there was a number of women at the party, very stylish, who were wearing very high waisted jeans, which is in style. Then we go to the mall yesterday and there's a bunch of people that are wearing very like low slung jeans. So at the same time, I mean, both the. It seems like it used to be that one or the other would be in style, but now they both seem to be in style at the exact same.

[Andrew Walsh]

I take that as a good sign because in the parlance of social media these days, we can hold two ideas in our head at the same time.

[Luke Burbank]

I think really what I think it is overall with fashion is more than any time that I remember in my life, it really is anything goes. And I don't. I'm not saying that as a negative.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, no, that's great.

[Luke Burbank]

I, I really think that it's just kind of, yeah, whatever you want to do is like, do it. And I don't understand it all. God, I. We were in Nordstrom, I was taking something back and I was taking back a jacket that I bought in order to wear it to a Mariners game.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, it was colder than I thought it was going to be for opening day. So I got a jacket and then I, I left the tag on it. And I very, I was very careful eating nachos. I was telling you this off air. I kept saying to Becca, I don't bring the nachos to me. I go to the nachos. So I was like bent over the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, ironically, that was the same game where you got into an argument over somebody who's famous for talking about tags and popping them.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a. I did have a Macklemore based argument, but. But anyway, so in the mall yesterday, we went to Nordstrom, I was taking the coat back and, and I don't understand, you know, any of the things they're doing with the fact, like it's. They sell. They're selling these T shirts that just have, like, they really look like a T shirt you would get for free for doing an escape room or something. Like they're intent. It's real. Graphic design is my passion and obviously like it's an intentional thing, but there'll just be like weird, like, like weird blocky writing on the, you know, first of all, the big brand is called Fear of God. You get these like 8 year old, you get like 8 year old kids walking around with Fear of God T shirts on.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's funny. Just, just like that was just a concept in our house. That was, that was really drilled in.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm like, listen, I was, I was raised in this and yeah, was not fashionable when I was a kid. But yeah, that's like the big brand right now is Fear of God, which everyone's walking around with these no offense, but just dopey looking Fear of God T shirts and stuff. But that being said, it does really seem to be the case that anything goes. And of course I support that. It does mean that I don't. It means that I'm even more confused about what's going on because when there's a set of rules then I know if people are obeying the rules or not. But we seem to be in a post rules era with fashion, which of course is a better situation. But it, it leaves me even more confused by what's going on.

[Andrew Walsh]

It should be freeing, but instead it's overwhelming. You like a cat that goes outside for the first time.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Great segue. How was the meeting by the way of Lucy and Bingo?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's been going really well in fact.

[Luke Burbank]

So I think was Friday going to be their first. I feel like we, I feel like, or maybe it was Thursday, but I don't feel like I got the full update on how their, how their relationship has been.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I'll be okay. A couple of things. Talking about, talk about having several ideas in your head at the same time. I don't want to go overboard on this because I do. I worry about a little bit of Lucy Tedium if I get into all the ins and outs of Luke Jr. Fatigue. Yeah, that's right. I'm used to Luke fatigue, but this is a whole new thing. So I want to be somewhat considerate to the audience that doesn't care about this stuff that much. And I also will say that it's just been a kind of a brain scrambling weekend ever since we picked her up on Wednesday. Just like weird sleep schedules as we're trying to puppy train her and get, you know, potty train her and get her outside. And all this stuff is just kind of like I can't tell what's What. What's up, what's down, what's blue, what's red anymore? But if you want to talk about politics, we can do that as well.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, I think she's a libertarian is what I'm getting at here. But anyway, so when last I talked to you, she was basically in one room of the house behind a baby gate at all times. And at some point, Gen. I just walked in, and Genevieve had taken down the baby gate, and she said, just felt like time to me. And I was like, all right, sounds good to me. When she was in that room with a baby gate, she could jump over the bait or. I'm sorry, Bingo could come in and out and. And, you know, that way he could go in and say hello to her, and then if he got overwhelmed, leave. And so he would do that. He'd come in, they would sniff each other a little bit, and then he would leave. And then by, I think Saturday of this weekend, certainly Sunday, they're just, like, chasing each other around in an incredibly playful way. I mean, there was. I guess there were two times. Okay, Bingo's walking on the board now. We'll see. He's trying to get away from the Yelp sounds. Can you. If I. If I stop talking for a second, can you hear this?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And as you and I both know, things are always so much louder in the room.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For the person who's hearing the noise than for the other person.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So if I'm hearing it, that must be pretty loud where you are.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's giving me a lot. It's giving me some anxiety. But I. Again, I spent all weekend knowing, like, this was going to be the thing. She hates being alone. And there are. There have been a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

Would bring her in the studio be a non starter for a variety of reasons.

[Andrew Walsh]

It will be. I mean, she. I mean, my goal. Goal with this dog is to be my ride or die. I mean, I hope that she will always be by my side and in the studio at some point. We are not there yet for various reasons that, again, I don't know how much we want to get into it, but right now she just has way too much puppy energy, and she finds things that she shouldn't be chewing on that you think, I've cleared everything out of this room. There's nothing that she can possibly get. And then the next thing you know, she's chewing on the cap of some pen that Abraham Lincoln used and left somewhere in North Seattle. I just like. It's just. And So I can't bring her in here where I just have a slew of cables and power cords and all this stuff. Plus, we're keeping her upstairs right now. Cause she doesn't know how to go downstairs. She literally does not know how to go downstairs. And that's kind of good, because even though the carpet down here really needs to be ripped up and changed, we're not gonna probably do that for another nine to 12 months or whatever. And I can't have her peeing on carpet. She's not fully potty trained yet. You know, it's only been a few days, and she's getting a little bit. She's getting a lot better. But I will say there have been a bunch of things with this kind of overall training that has been frustrating, which is confusing because you just don't know how she's going. Sorry, I'm distracted by a lot of things going on here. You just never can see past the moment. Sort of like when I take her outside for the first time and say, like, go to the bathroom. It's like, well, she never has gone to the bathroom outside before. She's never been outside before. And she just looks at you and you're like, well, how can I reward you for doing something right when you're not even gonna do it at all? But now it's a few days later and she's going outside and going to the bathroom at times. And so anyway, there's been other things like that, too, like trying to have her sleep in our bedroom with us, but not on the bed. Because eventually we want her to be on the bed, but we don't want her to think that she has. That she has bed privileges at all times.

[Luke Burbank]

Long term. Long term, she is going to be allowed to be on the bed. This is a big. You know, this is a big. A big thing in different households. Is on the bed dogs or not on the bed dogs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we're big snugglers. And she's a big snuggler. I actually think her and Bingo, I think. And this is a pretty bold damn prediction, but I think by this time next week or around this time next week, if she can calm down enough when I'm not in the room with her, I'll bet you she and Bingo will just be cuddling on the couch. Like, she's kind of a cuddler. He's a big cuddler. I've seen a couple of times when everybody's all relaxed in that room. He has come in and he kind of like wanders around. He gets really close to her and I can tell he just wants to ball up next to her. They both just have a little bit of too much energy right now to make that happen. But it was. So the last two nights have been a little bit difficult because we have her in the room, but we put her bedroom. We put her bed in the room with us, but she just wants to be up and she just runs. We have a very small bedroom that the bed takes up most of it, but she just does kind of laps back and forth and back and forth, back and forth and kind of barks sometimes. And then last night she was finally, finally falling asleep. She got into her bed, she falls asleep. So then Bingo's like, oh, sounds good. Why don't I rile her up? So he jumps into the bedroom and then keeps on waking her up and then runs over the baby gate because we keep her in the room with the baby gate. And so. So I gotta say though, as aggravating as it is, it is so funny. It is so cute and it's so funny and it's so playful, you know. And at one point last night, they were next to my bed and they were wrestling like a couple of dogs, but neither one of them made any sounds of distress or anything. They're just full on playing like a couple of, like a couple of siblings. So that's going really well. And so all of that is to say, like, there are moments where we're just kind of like, how will we ever get to sleep? How will we ever teach her that you go to the bathroom outside? And while all these things are not solved quite yet, but we've seen how things progress in the course of four days or something. So. And if it's only been four days, can, you know, I'm really looking forward to seeing what four weeks do and four months or whatever. So things are going pretty well. But I'm a little bit, I'll admit, like, I'm a little bit out of my. A little bit out of my gourd still. Because, you know, got up at like 4am to take her outside, but successfully, by the way. I'm not going to get into details here, Luke. The worst part of the only thing I don't like about this new development in our life called Lucy, is how so many of my conversations, text and otherwise, are about pee pee and poo poo. That's not who I am. I am a man of faith and propriety.

[Luke Burbank]

You don't like that peepee poo poo talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do not like how much it's gonna like how much energy in this house has to do with when and if and where somebody went to the bathroom.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. By the way, the. The Mariners are undefeated during times when Lucy has been watching them, as far as I understand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because on Friday you were going to bring her online with the Mariner watching experience. And since that day, they have yet to lose a game.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, they lost on Wednesday, the day we picked her up, but we weren't really listening to the game and like that. I don't really think that counts. Nobody was their right mind, including the Mariners, including Brian Wu. So I think he pitched on Wednesday. I could be wrong about that. I wasn't really paying much attention. But anyway, yes. Since, like, since we've actually brought her home as part of the family, the Mariners are locked in and I don't think that's a coincidence. I don't think it could possibly be a coincidence.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of locked in baseball teams, I got a little update on the TBTL Junior Sluggers that also known as the TBTL or I should say the Parkside Jalapenos. This is the little league team that we sponsor of the Parkside Little League, coached by our pal Coach Ben. Coach Ben wanted to update a couple of things. When we were talking last week, I was speculating on if this was full kid pitch or not, meaning just the kids are pitching, there's no help from the parents. And Coach Ben said, yes, this is full kid pitch baseball. No dads lobbing, soft toss from their knees. That said little league pitch count rules, especially with tight turnarounds, mean I'll typically limit pitchers to one or two innings early in the season. And as far as game length goes, the games run six innings or two hours, whichever comes first. Because that was something we were wondering about last week. So here's the update on the second game. For our second game, we faced the Muddy Ducks, a scrappy squad from the Hollywood Rose City. I'll admit HRC teams have become something of a personal boogeyman. They are the roadrunner to my coyote. Every time I think we've gotten them figured out, the laws of physics bend. We find ourselves tumbling into the canyon or sprinting headfirst into a wall that is only painted to look like a tunnel.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, can I interrupt for one second and ask for your kind of observation of something?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's interesting that this. So you know, we're now and I will use the we. We are now the Jalapenos.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Parkside Jalapenos. The TBTL Jalapenos. And we're playing the Muddy Ducks. I can't remember the name of the team we played last week, but I'm wondering, as these, as these players are getting a little bit older, are you sensing a little bit more maturity in the names that we don't have to. Everything doesn't have to be, as you say, the fire breathing Scorpions or whatever that we're kind of like, oh, you know what a Muddy Duck. That's not a fierce creature, but it has character. And same with the house.

[Luke Burbank]

I like Muddy Duck as a name and I like. I love jalapenos. Yes. So maybe we are seeing a certain maturity from the kids. They are playing the Chicken Jockeys next week, so I don't know what that means, but let's see. Armani took the mound for the Jalapenos, one of the smallest players in the league, but packed with grit, speed and competitive fire. I've seen that competitive fire firsthand, Andrew, and it's competitive. In his first start, during which he insisted on standing fully atop the rubber. By the way, Armani, nice game. Recognized game. When I threw out the first pitch at a Seattle Mariners game, much to the consternation of everyone involved, I also stood on the actual rubber. They did not want me to. And I was like, this is the only time I'm ever going to get to do this. I'm not standing on the grass and soft tossing it in. I'm checking the runner at first. I'm balking. I'm, I'm absolutely destroying the pitch clock. I'm doing everything wrong. So Armani, I totally get one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Unfortunately, George Springer absolutely destroyed the ball that you threw out, so I don't know, he did. Advice for the younger athletes.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I get for clapping when he got hurt two games previous. Armani delivered two strong innings, allowing just two hits and two runs against the talented Ducks lineup. As has become our custom, the Jalapenos came out hot in the first. There were walks by Armani and Atlas, plus a hit from Amos. Look at that, Andrew. That's AAA Armani.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, sorry, I got confused by AAA baseball. It is AAA baseball, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that is, that's, that is AAA baseball when you've got Armani, Atlas and Amos all collabing on something that played it a run in the second. Victor, T, Bone, Ollie and Nico all worked their way on base with Amos once again driving in three runs with a single. What are you, Luke Rayleigh?

[Andrew Walsh]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice job, Amos. We might have added more if not for a tough interference call at the plate and a few early season base running missteps. Would those come back to haunt us like a suspiciously discounted crate of Acme dynamite? Time would tell. I feel like Coach Ben is working through a lot of, like, just a lot of his coaching thoughts. His. Maybe even just real life thoughts. Like, I feel like this is. This is therapy for Coach Ben to write these things out. Amos took the hill in the third and fourth, striking out six. Holy guacamole, that's Logan Gilbert. Numbers. After four innings, we led five to three. It was close, but it felt controlled. Our bats were alive and the muddy Ducks seemed stuck, spinning their webbed feet in place from the dugout. I let my thoughts wander to great possibilities. We'd definitely win this game. Perhaps we'd rattle off an epic streak of victories, maybe take the league title. After that, that a romp through Oregon's Little League championships en route to Omaha. Then 6:30 happened. Every parent knows the witching hour. That volatile blend of hunger, fatigue, overstimulation and underdeveloped prefrontal. Prefrontal cortexes for the jalapenos. It struck at exactly 6:30 as we entered the top of the fifth. Like the trolley car problem, a switch was flipped. And you know, the implications of the trolley car problem are maybe. Maybe slightly more serious that we should even introduce into the topic of youth baseball.

[Andrew Walsh]

But are we playing around with this idea of the painted. Of the painted tunnel still? Is this all playing into that Looney Tunes imagery?

[Luke Burbank]

You could either save four jalapenos or two jalapenos. What are you gonna do on this trolley? Yeah, we're kind of jumping between the Roadrunner and then a famous. Would you call it a philosophy question?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it is. Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Sort of the question of like philosophical

[Andrew Walsh]

question, I think so.

[Luke Burbank]

Like the trolley car problem, a switch was flipped and everything we did seemed to result in catastrophe. Nico, one of our most reliable arms, was throwing strikes and getting ahead in the count. But the third strike proved elusive. The Ducks began making contact. Weak but effective routine. Grounders were mishandled, throws went astray, the pace slowed, and most critically, frustration crept in. You could see the energy drain from the field. That part is on me. I should have steadied the ship. Perhaps mid game. Espressos are in order to. Hey, like the Italian World baseball.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I got. We gotta ask Coach Ben. What's the selly. What's the celebration for the jalapenos? If someone hits, like, a home run,

[Andrew Walsh]

oh, you got jalapeno popper. You gotta have a bunch of those things ready, and he's gonna pop it.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. You know, like the Italian team, they were. Somebody was pulling a shot of, like, espresso or something. Then they do the espresso and they put on a little jacket. The Mariners, of course, famously have that Trident, which did you see? I actually thought this was kind of a dope move. Randy, at Rosarena, playing the Trident like a guitar.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like that guy. Somebody said, I'm kind of into that move. I'm very. I'm not into air guitar as a mood, as a vibe, as a move. Yeah. You don't see me as being a big air guitar. So that move, usually I don't like. But first of all, Randy. I just like almost anything Randy does. Ex. You know, I guess, except for a bad at bat, but I just really, really like him, and I'm happy for the celebration. But also somebody posted on social media that it's sort of. Because the Trident, well, is a trident. It had sort of like Mad Max vibes to it. Like flame the guitar vibes. So I picture that now, too.

[Luke Burbank]

We gave up five runs in the inning, still within reach at five to eight. But the momentum and spirit had shifted. Our bats went quiet in the bottom half of the six, and we allowed three more runs to put it out of reach. Final score, your jalapenos five and the muddy ducks 11.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

All losses Sting. This one lingered because it was a game we could and probably should have won. We were the better team. But as I remind the players, it's not how you start, it's how you finish. That's the lesson we'll carry forward. Hustlepins went to Armani and Amos for their pitching and to Nemo for tenacious defense and a relentlessly positive attitude. The Jalapenos returned to interleague play on Saturday. That's already occurred, actually, as we take on the Parkside Vipers.

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you think about Vipers? Do we remember the Vipers from last year? Kind of have a vague memory of that. Yeah, they're sticking with it. I have a good. They're not the Fire Vipers you were mentioning. The Triple A's, the Armani and the Amos and Atlas and the Atlas. And also we have a Zaya. I don't want to leave any, but I could sort of see an unofficial slogan being like, the teenage from A to Zaya or something like that. I don't know. We can Play around with that a little bit. There's something there. I also, while I have a moment, while I have the mic here, while I'm rocking the mic here, I'd like to apologize to the listeners. They heard something that you did not hear, Luke, which is a blast of birdsong while you were talking that lasted probably only about a minute or two. But again, Bingo being a little bit out of sorts. He's fine, by the way. He's enjoying all of this. He got it a. He got a new friend. Like, I'm not worried about him losing attention from me and Vives or anything, but everything is just topsy turvy right now. And so he's in my studio and he. He thinks it's birds time and he's. He was watching you like you're a bird and no offense, put on an outfit. Yes. If you could dress up like Paul Simon in that famous Linky. In that famous SNL Thanksgiving sketch. Do you remember that one where he dresses up like a turkey and just sings. What is it? One of the. His really melancholy. What's that? Really melling still crazy after all these years. Yes. Have you ever. It is.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I've seen a still shot of I did singing still crazy. If you can.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you can dial that up and

[Luke Burbank]

then you just stop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you just play it? It's really funny. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see here. I hope they don't make me watch a commercial or something. Yep, they're going to try to make.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well, I'll just say that I was. I was dialing up Bingo's bird video, but it's on the computer I'm talking to you on. So you didn't hear it. The listeners got a very confusing blasted birdsong.

[Luke Burbank]

Was I talking over the birdsong and did it sound good? Should that be the new music for the Sluggers?

[Andrew Walsh]

If I could have mixed it better. Yes, unfortunately, it just sort of blasted over you for a second. I mean, we could hear you cut through, but I think it was probably pretty jarring. And for any. This was several minutes ago. But for listeners who are wondering what was going on, that was it. My apologies. And what's going on on your end here? Do we have Paul Simon? I hope this is as funny as I remember. Remember, I haven't seen this since a kid. I was a kid.

[Luke Burbank]

It comes out. He's in a. He's in a turkey costume.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's real cute, right? Yeah, totally.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm try to cut to the part

[Andrew Walsh]

where he's singing

[Rick Riz]

and we talked about some old times and we drank.

[Luke Burbank]

I love this song, by the way.

[Rick Riz]

Still crazy.

[Luke Burbank]

Great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on a second. Hold on, hold on. I want to start that over because.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because there's. There's a moment where he's, like, talking about he's mad at Lauren Michaels for forcing him to do this. I don't know if it's the beginning or the end, but that's kind of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm just going to play. I'm. Yeah, I'm. Well, we'll get there. We'll get there. I don't think he says anything. He just comes out. He just began, kind of sullen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And then the microphone is sitting on a. Like a stool. And then the music just starts. And he looked very kind of annoyed, walks over and picks up the microphone, like he does not want to be doing this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Rick Riz]

I met my old lover on the street last night she seemed so glad to see me I just smile and we talked about some old times and we drank ourselves some beers. Still crazy after all. Forget. Forget it, richard. You know, I said when the turkey concept was first brought up, I said, there's a very good chance I'm going to end up looking stupid if I come out of wearing it. Everyone said, oh, it's Thanksgiving. Go ahead. You know, I felt it was not in any way in keeping with my image, the lyrics, the box, or any of those songs. They said, hey, you know, you take yourself so seriously. Why don't you stop taking yourself so seriously for a while? Loosen up a little bit, and maybe people will laugh. You want to be Mr. Alienation? You can be Mr. Alienation. Well, I didn't want to be Mr. Alienation. I want to be a regular guy. But I feel this has just been a disaster. And I'm sorry. I'm just going to go and change. This is just a terrible mistake I made.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it really kind of just fizzles out, doesn't it?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I have a feeling he goes backstage and like, maybe sees Lauren, Michael or something. He's. He's walking. It's like 20 more minutes or 20 more seconds on the clip.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're saying 20 more minutes? Yeah, it's wonderful.

[Rick Riz]

You call out wonderful.

[Luke Burbank]

What, you had a problem?

[Rick Riz]

It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Andrew Walsh]

The band came in late.

[Rick Riz]

The band is fine.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't understand what the problem is.

[Rick Riz]

The problem is I'm singing. Still crazy after all these years in a turkey outfit. Why would you like to sing in a turkey outfit?

[Luke Burbank]

I thought it Worked great.

[Rick Riz]

Yeah. What do I look like, Jan Michael Vincent here? You think I'm looking good?

[Luke Burbank]

Star of Airwolf.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, honestly, why don't you just go change the.

[Rick Riz]

Yeah, let's just do that. Let's just say it was a difference of opinion.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe it was a difference of opinion,

[Andrew Walsh]

but I think it worked great.

[Luke Burbank]

We'll be right back after this following message. Paul Simon gets stuck in the doorway because his turkey tail is so big that he cannot go down the hall.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lauren Michaels is not as much of a character these days on SNL as he used to be. Right. Or, I mean, I, I guess I'm asking because I never watch it.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. I mean, he, he's what I feel like is he. He doesn't have as many lines as he used to have in the early days. Like, he. Very often he'd be in like the opening monologue in some capacity like that. Now it's more like they just cut to a shot of him sometimes or they even did something the other day with him where it was like, I forget what the joke was, but they cut to where his chair was supposed to be and it was just a office chair that was just spinning

[Andrew Walsh]

left. I like.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's like they're not, they're like they're still integrating him in, but I think in ways that are. Don't involve as much of his time because, you know, he's been doing this a long time. Although I did see him getting out of a car at 30 Rock, I don't know, a couple of, maybe a few months ago. Did I tell you about that on the show?

[Andrew Walsh]

I was kind of starstruck.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, kind of starstruck. I was, we were walking out, I think Becca and I maybe we'd gone to see Chris's show when they were doing it at 30 Rock still.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. This was your trip. This was your trip back from England. Right. And then you spent some time in New York.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, although we went to upstate. We didn't stay in the city. That was in the Hudson Valley. So I think it's a different trip. But yeah, we were walking out of 30 Rock and Lorne Michaels was getting out of a car. And I was like, pretty starstruck by that for some reason, considering in my life I've met a fair number of well known people. There was something about not being prepared and also the fact that it's where he works. I don't know why. It was just kind of like, oh, he's going to work. Of course he's walking down the street right now because this is where he works.

[Andrew Walsh]

But also, gosh, I'm blanking on something. I was just watching the other night, and then you see Lorne Michaels name at the end. Like, Lorne Michaels, aside from snl, is just responsible for. So, I mean, I know that Detroiters. Yeah, I think that's what it was because I was rewatching some Detroiters. I'm like, oh, God, this is him too. And of course, I loved Kids in the hall. And I mean SNL and then all the SNL things. I. I mean, saying that Lorne Michaels has been a busy guy over the past 50 years is, I guess, not something that we should spend tons of time dwelling on on a podcast, because it's kind of obvious. But, I mean, it is incredible that a man with that career, I think, of Detroiters is still a relatively new show, you know, last 10 years or so, and you're just like, oh, yeah, he's still just doing it and, and doing interesting things. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right, Schmidt. That's right. Cause that's a Broadway video. Liz Lemon, that's a Tina Fey show too. So you have that connection. And so, yeah, it's incredible that, like, his name is still on a lot of things, but he's not. He's not just going for, like, basic easy things, you know what I mean? Like, the Detroiters has a very unique voice. I hate saying very unique, but has a unique voice and everything. And so I applaud that. He still attaches himself to the right projects.

[Luke Burbank]

And I mean, he picked Conan o' Brien to be the host of that show, which was a completely left field thing, like, like this former writer for SNL and, you know, Simpsons guy, like, who had no hosting experience. And Lauren Mike's like, yeah, he could probably do this. Like, what a random call. And I mean, he was so right about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did not. I started to agree with you because I thought you were talking about him hiring him for. To be the head writer because he. Was he a head writer? Was he a writer or the head writer? Either way, I didn't know that. Wait, he had a hand in picking him for Late night?

[Luke Burbank]

It was 100% Lauren Michaels. Yeah. Lorne Michaels was the one who said, yeah, it should be. He was in charge of picking Letterman's replacement. So Letterman, I think, had gone to CBS and vacated his NBC time slot, and somehow, I don't know, late night programming that fell to Lorne Michaels. And he was the one who said, yeah, I think Conan o' Brien could do it. And he knew Conan from when Conan was a writer on snl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

Again, just like that's such a random call, there would be so many more obvious choices for that job, as Conan has talked about extensively. Basically, the Conan o' Brien that we all know and love probably wouldn't exist in the way we all know and love him if not for Lorne Michaels, because he probably would have just continued to be a very successful, you know, television creator and writer. But most, there's tons of people that do that and very few of them are then also just made the host of a late night show and then become part of the kind of, you know, on air community. So.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you have Mr. Peepers, you have Night at the Roxbury. I mean, the legacy goes on.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I'm a lot of, a lot of. Chris Kattan related content Catan content Katan

[Andrew Walsh]

Kent I was actually not thinking of Pepper. I'm trying to think of the one who's the named.

[Luke Burbank]

It's funny because you named two Chris.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. And the problem is, and he's in Night at the Rocks and we like Chris Kattan. I'm, I, I, I made a mistake.

[Luke Burbank]

You were thinking, you were thinking of, of the making copies guy. No.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Rob Schneider, who's gone completely off the rails.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolute pos. And I do not mean point of sale, just I love.

[Luke Burbank]

No, My new favorite thing on Tick Tock is watching Rob Schneider bomb doing stand up comedy at conservative conf.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wait, he's bombing in front of conservatives.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, yes. He'll, they'll like, they'll send him like cpac. And he's so bad at stand up comedy that even the like, you know, these are like minded folks. No one's laughing. He's just up there dying at like cpac. It's very satisfying to watch. Gosh, we was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, ready. Go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody RATTLES Daddle. All right, let's thank some donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough and it's how we're able to keep doing this little TBTL thing all these years later. 4,704 episodes into this journey, thanks to our friend Kelly Nilsen down there in San Diego, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Kelly.

[Luke Burbank]

Kelly says hi, friendos. Another trip around the sun and another opportunity to Dazzle. Thanks to Luke, Andrew and John for providing a true oasis of joy and friendship in a disjointed world. My business is Brava Financial llc, a flat fee advice only fiduciary financial planning firm. I'm based in San Diego, but I can work with folks across the country. And I would love it if the tens would check out my website which is bravafinancialplans.com Bravo is B R A V A Brava financial plans dot com. And if you like what you see, sign up for my newsletter. Tens, you know who you are, have reached out to me since my very first dazzling ad in 2023. And I wouldn't be where I am today without you. Not only are you supporting a small woman owned business, but you're also contributing to my 18 year old son's college experience which will start in the fall tbd. But fingers crossed for nyu. Holy guacamole, Kelly, Congratulations. I. I've told this story before, but when Addie was young, I took her to visit Columbia University in New York in Morningside Heights. And I said to her, very foolishly, if you can get into Columbia, I will figure out a way to pay it. Pay for it. And I spent the next four years

[Andrew Walsh]

white knuckling it, just absolutely trying to undercut her academics at every opportunity, every sabotaging this.

[Luke Burbank]

She would, she would, she would, she would say, oh, hey dad, can you run this paper into the school for me? I'd say, sure. And she would be beautifully typed out. It'd be a nice little report on something. And by the time I handed to the teachers, it would look like one of those chick fil A ads where cows are trying to get you to eat more chicken.

[Andrew Walsh]

Smart. Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, just all crayon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, absolutely. Letters are backwards.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank God. So she, she was forced to go to Western.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not bad.

[Luke Burbank]

No, Western was great actually. Kelly says if you have any questions or comments you can email me. It's [e-mail] and let me know how I can help. Love and hugs to all. Well, love and hugs to you, Kelly. Thank you for supporting the show for all these years. And yeah, tens if you would like some. I gotta get this right. Flat fee advice only. Fiduciary financial planning. You know who to talk to. Talk to our friend Kelly. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready. We gotta keep. Sorry to cut you off, but we need to keep as many segments with bed music underneath them as possible. While Lucy is in her freak out phase. You had the music for the sluggers.

[Luke Burbank]

Nothing I love like audio spackle. So, yeah, let's do it. We've got to thank Elizabeth Tuchel, who's in Seattle, Washington. Okay. Elizabeth's dazzling donor message includes a overhead shot of Lumen Field and another shot of a street down in that area of Seattle. I'm wondering what this is all about. Hi, friendos. For my message, I'd like to honor the driver of the vintage Metro bus that was in the Seahawks super bowl parade. My office is across from Lumen Field and we can see the tunnel entrance that leads onto the field. After the ceremony, the bus was one of the first vehicles to leave the stadium for the parade. But due to stacks of plywood in front of the exit, the bus had a terrible time getting out. I watched for 10 minutes while they made multiple attempts to get out of the tunnel. While an entire city was waiting, they finally maneuvered through with inches to spare on all sides. Whoever that bus driver was, I would like to salute them. In my opinion, they are the parade's mvp. How cool, by the way, that Elizabeth witnessed this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I had heard about this the day of the parade. I had heard that there were issues because there were also a bunch of, I think, Humvees or something that were carrying the players through the field. Whatever it was. There were some really big vehicles and they set up, as you can see in Elizabeth's photos here, they set up this sort of cordoned off section for the vehicles to drive through, but they did not leave enough room. And so there was a delay. I didn't know a vintage bus was involved, but I had heard that vehicles were having trouble getting through the route that they made for this purpose. This, by the way, is why we should celebrate mathematicians and scientists and other people who know how to make parade routes that work.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, measurementicians could measure how large the opening is and then how large the vehicles are. Elizabeth says, I looked up the bus. It's part of the Metro Employee Historic Vehicle Association. The vintage fleet is maintained with volunteer effort, so I'll also give a shout out to them. I love groups that are dedicated to preserving bits of history that they care about. And as always, thanks for doing the show. Power out. So whoever you were driving that bus, you are a true hero and Elizabeth wanted to shout you out. So nice job on that. And thank you for saving the Seahawks victory parade so that Andrew could be miles away reading a book.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right, I was reading.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you for making that possible.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was not reading a book. I was reading a blog post about Victor Robles and grief. And grief. Yeah, that was.

[Luke Burbank]

You said that was actually really lovely.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was. It was actually a really, really good article. And it was written by somebody who had just lost a parent themselves and was talking about how Victor Robles charged the mound after getting thrown at times. And. Yeah, and it was this woman writing about how she, having gone through grief herself, probably understood the mindset that he was in or like. Or not having control of his mind that moment, because everything he'd lived there, it was just a very interesting contextualization of something that was, you know, how we joke around about. We're not talking about sports, we're talking about the human condition. That article was the absolute true, perfect example of that. But, yeah, that was across town reading about crying and reading about baseball players while everybody else was watching the parade. I think Elizabeth, I wanted to mention this, as you mentioned, she had this great view of this. Well, unfortunately, of this bus being stuck. But it was either Elizabeth or another listener, too, who said, I get you about not wanting to be out for the parade, enchanting Seahawks and all that stuff, but wanting to still witness it or be a part of it. And these folks who have these views from their offices, that would be the perfect cheat code for this. I love it so much.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You can be watching the parade and enjoying it, but not feeling in any way obligated. I told you, when I was at the no Kings march, I was, like, happy to be there, but also I didn't feel like yelling, and I felt bad that I wasn't being more helpful, but I was like. Like, I would have been terrible at the Seahawks victory parade because, yeah, you start yelling, you start doing that Seahawks chant, and that's a number one way to have me disengage from the discord.

[Andrew Walsh]

See, let's just test it off. Let's just test it here for a second. See,

[Luke Burbank]

this is what democracy looks like. Thanks, Elizabeth. Okay, we'll keep this really short.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, cool. You want to do top stories, though, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, let's do the Ichiro thing and then we'll just call it, because we're getting close to.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's great. Yeah. And I mean, you know, listen and whatever. Whatever's happening is happening. This is our life now. I don't want to, like, you know, kneecap the show. So, you know, whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think we have to do emails unless there's one that's really jumping. We can do this and then kind of. And then wrap it up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sounds good.

[Luke Burbank]

So. Okay, here we go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the Top Story, Andrew, that actually popped up, I think on Friday was at least that's what it hit. The Kremin's text chain was the unveiling of this Ichiro Suzuki statue outside of T Mobile Park. And the fact that when they pulled the drape off of it and the drape was being pulled off of this, the reveal was happening from. It was Ken Griffey Jr. And Edgar Martinez, and they were there to kind of, you know, pull some string that was on a lever that was gonna lift this kind of heavy. It turns out, maybe too heavy. Heavy drape off of this statue for the big reveal. By the way, did you see that Rick Riz had a pretty good joke? He was. Rick Riz was kind of announcing this thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'd read about this joke. I did not actually hear it. I was looking for it. He. Well, I'll let you tell it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I might be thinking of a different one. This was before the unveiling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Everyone's kind of sort of awkwardly like, trying to figure out what the move is. And you've got like Edgar and Ken Griffey Jr. Kind of standing by, but they don't know if they're supposed to go or not. And Rick Riz is at this little podium and he goes, all right. Right, we're going to count down from 51.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, I did hear that joke too. Yeah, that was pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was funny. Then afterward. Well, I'm not going to. I'm not going to spoil.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know the afterward joke, so you can tell me about it. But yeah, the upshot is when they take this drape off the. Ichiro famously had a very unique batting stance. Before the pitch would come in, he would stand with his arm outstretched, sort of like a closed fist, pointed right at the pitcher, holding his bat straight up and down. And this was like somehow he got in the zone before and then he would, you know, get back in a more sort of semi traditional batting stance as the pitch was coming in. But this sort of thing of him standing, holding the bat in front of him is very iconic. And that's what the statue is. As the drape comes off, you realize that the bat has been, I guess, by the. Pulled by the drape and is like, let's just say, having some performance issues and everybody is aghast. It's actually pretty cute. Ken Griffey Jr. Just is cracking up. He just puts his head on Edgar Martinez's shoulder.

[Andrew Walsh]

Shoulder.

[Luke Burbank]

Ichiro is laughing. I mean, everyone. Everybody is handling it in stride.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is so funny. I love, say I love the relationship between Junior and Ichiro so much. I happened to be at the game where it was like Ichiro was inducted into the. Into the Mariners hall of Fame. And so they had a little like, pre game little ceremony and a bunch of former players were there, a bunch of Ichu's, like, you know, former teammates were there, but I can't remember what it's like. They're always busting each other's chops and stuff. And if you watch a longer version of it, you see a junior go up to Ichro and just like rest his head on Ichiro's back, like kind of like on the back of his neck. And he's both. Like he feels for his friend, but also just laugh. I get the impression, I think laughing his ass off. Just like, what a world that this happens in. And Rick Riz, I had to look it up here. He said something like, I guess after this happened. So just to be very clear, it wasn't broken under the tarp until they pulled the tarp off at a weird angle. And then that apparently broke it, which, which is bananas, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think it would be stronger. It would be able to stand up to that. But.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so Rick, who's doing. Who's emceeing this little, you know, short little ceremony outside the stadium, says that there was a fastball inside, but he still got a base hit or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Meaning that it was a broken bat moment like you might see during a game, which is pretty good. Quick on your feet, thinking on your feet. From him? Yeah, no, he's. Did you hear this?

[Luke Burbank]

Ichiro said it was Mariano Rivera's fault.

[Andrew Walsh]

Fault? No, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Mariano Rivera was famous for like, he broke a lot of bats. I guess. I didn't know this. I didn't know that either, intuitively. I just. I read about this, that through his interpreter, Ichiro said, I can't believe Mariana. I didn't expect Mariano Rivera to pop up and break my bat.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is great. I love everybody. And did you see and final joke on this with the Mariners organization tweeted out? Unfortunately, no.

[Luke Burbank]

I heard about. What did they do?

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard they did something because this night, this big statue unveiling night, had been on the books for a long time. They had a promotion at the park that went along with it. Instead of a bobblehead they were giving away little replicas of this new bronze statue or whatever it's made of. Right. And so after this happened, but before the game started, the Mariners tweeted out, we've updated the giveaway for tonight. And they showed it with the broken bat, which is a really good one. Thing I noticed, though, was, like, I wasn't listening to tons and tons of Mariners radio that day, but I never heard them mention this debacle on the flagship station, both in the pregame show. And again, I wasn't locked in totally that day, but I was like this on other stations. I bet you this is a much bigger story on the sports stations that do not have the, you know, ownership rights to the broadcast rights to the Mariners, because I know that the Mariners organization traditionally has been. Been. Has held a really tight reign on.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, they probably partners. Yeah, they probably. Because it's. See, this is. This is absolute red meat for Gary Hill Jr. And. And Aaron Goldsmith. You know what I mean? Like, if off air, they would have so much fun talking about this. But there's probably a sense that, like, this is Ichro's big moment, and if we make the story about the flaccid bat, then we're taking away from Ichiro's big moment. So how about we just don't joke about it? I bet it was the memoir, but it's also. I mean, it just gets to the question of, like, how hard it is to actually make things. Like, there's obviously, like a structural issue with the bat can only if you want this to be. If you want this to all kind of have a realistic look to it. The bat can only be so thick in Ichiro's hand and he's holding it. And if you think about it, it's like the base of the bat. I mean, I guess you just. They need to put some rebar in there. They need to reinforce it better than they did.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's exactly the first reaction I saw. Somebody wrote they didn't have rebar. It is interesting because I was going to make a snarky comment like, oh, yeah, well, nobody's ever made a statue with a player holding a bat before. But the thing is, there is something unique about this, that he's holding it straight up and down.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

In that Ichiro Pre.

[Luke Burbank]

In one hand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. In one hand. Holding it out like you might hold a torch out in front of you. And that's not usually how statues are made, because the moments are usually the bat is on the shoulders or the bat is being Swung out outwards. It's not going up and down directly, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. And he's only holding with one hand. So like, if you were thinking the traditional batting stance, you've got two hands, that's more surface area to kind of have the whole thing, you know, connected by. I'm just glad that it looks like Ichiro because when I got this, this, this text, it was weird. I. Our buddy, the Stubbot, I think, was the one who dropped this into the, into the criminals chain on Friday. And on my phone, I couldn't, I couldn't see the video, but I, I could read the code and it was like, ichiro statue. And I was like, oh, no, do we have another Lucille Ball situation? Do we have. Who are the other ones? I feel like there are a few other. I mean, just. There was a Fonzie one, right? That was really bad.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Fonzie one was bad. And wasn't there a local one too? Weren't people pretty rough on the. The Edgar one? Or am I might be making that up?

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe the guy who made this one had made the Griffey and the Edgar one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. So we got it.

[Luke Burbank]

So they, they must have been.

[Andrew Walsh]

Been.

[Luke Burbank]

They must have been happy with his work so far, for whatever that's worth. But yeah, I thought it was going to be. When I couldn't actually see what was going on, I just knew there was an issue with the statue. I was like, oh, please don't let it be. Please don't let him look weird in it. That's not the case. It's just the bat. And now the bat actually has a cooler story.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like the upside down kind of funny.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, I want to go check out. I want to go, as we say sometimes, I want to go put my hands in the wound.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to go see that.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to see that bat and see how they fixed it and. And know that it had a very funny unveiling story.

[Andrew Walsh]

Edgar looks good, by the way. And also, you know what's interesting? No. I mean, I know he looks good as a human still, but I mean, his statue. Statue looks good.

[Luke Burbank]

Cuz I also thought he looked pretty good as a human at the unveiling.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you know what? It. Unfortunately, looking at these photos of the Edgar statue proved me to be a liar because he is done with his swing in this one, but he is holding the bat straight up and down still. So he could have been victim to the same. He, He. The statue could have been victim to the same mishap, but Anyway, I'm glad everybody seemed to have fun with it. It not that big of a deal. And honestly, it's a thousand times more memorable now. It has such a great story. Did you see my. My snarky remark on social media I wrote or on blue sky I wrote, brought to you by the same team whose other statue is a mitt with a hole in it, which I will never understand. That statue. I do not get it.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what helps, though, that they're winning right now too.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's the fact that they're. As we record this, they've won the first three from Houston. Like, I honestly think. And this is just. This is just unfortunately, like, my sort of brain chemistry and how messed up I'm about this team. If they would have, like, dropped three to Houston, I don't think I would have much of a sense of humor about the. Yeah, I would.

[Andrew Walsh]

I wouldn't.

[Luke Burbank]

I certainly wouldn't be enjoying it the way I am now. I think I would be like, huh, wow, we can't do anything right. Like, I think I would. I just would be in such a sour place. So I'm also glad that they're winning because it just means. Just makes everything a little bit less us. Intense. So speaking of things that are intense, I know that you've. You've got a. A doggo that is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Some intention. So we should probably. Let's go ahead and wrap things up here on Monday the 13th.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Shivers.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. Very scary. So that's gonna do it for today's episode, but we're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. Do you have. Are you and Veeves alternating on. On dog duty? What's the plan for tomorrow? Tomorrow?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Is Lucy co hosting?

[Andrew Walsh]

I. I really do. She will be down here eventually. We're just still in the training phase of things, and she can't be down here. And I. I mentioned to you off air, I ran upstairs really quickly to check on her during the break before the dazzling donors, and she had gone to the bathroom on the rug, so. And she's sort of freaking out up there, so I'm gonna go spend some time with her. But the thing is, Genevieve works from home on Tuesdays and Fridays, so tomorrow will be a little bit better. And then by when, Wednesday and Thursday, everything is gonna get a little bit better. She's gonna get used to the fact that I leave for about an hour, two hours a day, and go to the bar, and then I come home and I do the show with you and then I go say hello to her.

[Luke Burbank]

Eye opener.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And again, the other big thing today I was very nervous about. And the other big thing is Genevieve is leaving this weekend. She is leaving on Thursday night and coming back on Sunday. And so it is gonna be a real. Like you said, she's going out for

[Luke Burbank]

a pack of smokes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. We'll see if she comes back. But I am a little bit. Again, a lot has changed in the past four days. So I think a lot will change in the next four days as well. But I'm a little nervous about. I mean, I can't do anything. I have to get her a dog seat because like I can't leave. I can't leave the house for long periods of time without her in my, you know, without having her being. My travel gonna be a real blow

[Luke Burbank]

to the local bar community.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. Well, the fact is we actually have.

[Luke Burbank]

The vibe is gonna go out of business.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, the weird thing is is Vee and I have not gone to a bar in quite some time. I don't know. What, why, Just kind of like out of the habit or something. But Viv was talking to our, to the, the contractor who's working on our house and his 20 year old son who was helping him out the other day and she was introducing them to Lucy. And everybody's having a good time and everything. And Genevieve was saying, yeah, we can't wait to socialize her because we just can't wait to take her to like bars and parks. And she said, bars and parks. And the young man, the 20 year old, just started laughing his ass off. He's like, you said, bars before parks. Like, talk about telling on yourself.

[Luke Burbank]

That is fun though. And you're going to, I'm assuming you're going to bark in the park.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're probably going to. Yeah. Yes. I cannot wait. Cannot wait.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, everybody. Well, that's going to do it. We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Sorry about the audio problems. That was bingo sitting on the board.

[Rick Riz]

Power out.