TBTL #4704 “Statue of Limitations” (April 13, 2026) – Detailed Summary

Episode Theme Overview In this Monday episode of TBTL, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh banter their way through an array of topics—ranging from the unveiling mishap of the new Ichiro Suzuki statue, reflections on childhood movie trauma, observations on the fast-changing world of fashion, updates on Andrew’s new puppy (Lucy), and the ongoing saga of the TBTL-sponsored little league team, the Parkside Jalapeños. This episode, true to TBTL form, balances personal storytelling, pop culture references, and slice-of-life humor, all with a relaxed, self-aware tone.

1. Opening Banter and Coffee Time Travel

• 00:00-02:00 – The show opens with a comedic skit featuring Luke, Andrew, and "Rick Riz," riffing on the concept of always being one pot of coffee ahead. They humorously explore time management, chores, and the existential dread of future coffee.
  • Quote:
    “The only reason we have today’s coffee is because I worried about it yesterday.” — Luke Burbank (00:34)

2. Monday the 13th, Sound Effects, & Nostalgia Riffs

• 03:10-05:00 – Andrew ponders why “Monday the 13th” isn’t considered just as scary as Friday the 13th. This segues into discussions about the show’s sound effects: thunder, lightning, Wilhelm scream, and the backstory of a “woman being struck by lightning” sound.

  • Quote:
    “For the rest of our lives, we will always be one pot of coffee ahead.” — Rick Riz (01:00)

• 05:00-08:00 – The hosts veer into classic movies—specifically, references to Caddyshack, Anchorman, and the infamous “triple Lindy” scene from Back to School. Mis-remembered details and their confusion become a running joke.

  • Quote:
    “This has become a real tradition on the show. I just… of wrong stuff. And then we go on about a five-minute adventure of trying to clean up exactly what the hell I’m referring to.” — Andrew (06:09)

3. Childhood Movie Memories & Scary Villains

• 08:00-16:30 – Luke and Andrew swap formative movie memories, especially scenes that stuck with them because they didn’t understand them as kids. This includes:
  • Rodney Dangerfield’s “no respect” persona
  • The confusing “good side of the Great Wall” joke in Caddyshack
  • Genevieve’s childlike confusion in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
  • Cruella de Vil and other overly scary Disney villains (“the bad lady from the movie The Rescuers” – 12:00)
  • Dabney Coleman talk (Cloak and Dagger and Henry Thomas from E.T.) along with 1980s kid movies that were darker than expected.
  • Quote:
    “A lot of the jokes that really are weird… that stick with me are like, because I saw it as a kid, I didn’t fully understand it, so I just chewed on it in my brain for a long time.” — Andrew (07:48)

4. Scary Movie Lighting and “When a Stranger Calls”

• 16:30-19:30 – The hosts reflect on the scary, poorly lit look of 1970-80s thrillers like When a Stranger Calls, and how a movie’s lighting or graininess increases its unsettling effect.
  • Quote:
    “To me, what was scary was just that they weren’t lit that well… grainy kind of.” — Luke (16:32)
  • Discussion of how cell phones would ruin the “call coming from inside the house” plot twist in modern reboots.

5. Fast Fashion and Cyclical Trends

• 19:11-25:21 – After discussing the look of 2006-era movies, Luke comments on seeing early-2000s fashion come back into style (affliction T-shirts, low-rise jeans, “Britney Spears movie” attire), pointing out how fashion cycles seem shorter than ever.
  • Andrew cites a snarky US Magazine headline about Mariah Carey’s jeans (21:40), which is met with appreciation for good magazine humor.
  • Quote:
    “I think really what I think it is overall with fashion is more than any time that I remember in my life, it really is anything goes. And I’m not saying that as a negative.” — Luke (23:04)
  • The hosts reminisce about how now “anything goes,” which leaves Luke “even more confused about what’s going on” but ultimately supportive of a more inclusive fashion landscape.

6. Puppy News: Lucy Joins the Pack

• 25:26-32:37 – Andrew provides a detailed, candid update about life with his new puppy, Lucy. He explains the logistics of integrating Lucy with current dog Bingo, Lucy’s progress with potty training, and the emotional rollercoaster of being a new pup parent.
  • Observations about Lucy’s separation anxiety and the process of letting both dogs bond credibly.
  • Quote:
    “I’m a little bit out of my gourd still… Got up at like 4 am to take her outside, but successfully, by the way.” — Andrew (32:11)
  • Andrew laments how much of his life now revolves around “pee pee and poo poo” talk, stating, “That’s not who I am. I am a man of faith and propriety.” (32:19)
  • Luke: “The Mariners are undefeated during times when Lucy has been watching them, as far as I understand.” (32:37)

7. Little League Update: TBTL’s Parkside Jalapeños

• 33:15-41:01 – Luke reads a vivid report from Coach Ben about the TBTL-sponsored little league team’s latest game.
  • The Jalapeños, featuring players like Armani, Atlas, Amos, and others, start strong but face a “witching hour” collapse during the 5th inning, ultimately losing to the Hollywood Rose City Muddy Ducks.
  • Coach Ben’s updates are peppered with “Looney Tunes” references and philosophical musings. Coach awards “Hustlepins” for outstanding effort.
  • Quote:
    “As has become our custom, the Jalapeños came out hot in the first… Look at that, Andrew. That’s AAA—Armani, Atlas, and Amos.” — Luke (36:09)

8. Birdsong, Dogs, and Paul Simon in a Turkey Suit

• 41:01-48:07 – Andrew’s pet birds accidentally blast birdsong audio over the show, which dovetails into a spontaneous play of the classic SNL sketch where Paul Simon sings “Still Crazy After All These Years” in a turkey costume.
  • The two delight in the gentle comedy and nostalgia of classic SNL and reflect on the changing role of Lorne Michaels (“He doesn’t have as many lines as he used to…” — Luke at 47:31)
  • Quote:
    “Lauren Michaels is not as much of a character these days on SNL as he used to be, right?” — Andrew (47:24)

9. More SNL & TV Production Talk

• 48:07-51:26 – Quick detour into Lorne Michaels’ wide-ranging SNL-adjacent TV output (Detroiters, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), and the important but often unsung waves his career has made in TV comedy.
  • Origin story of how Lorne Michaels picked Conan O’Brien as a late-night talk show host: “100% Lorne Michaels… He was the one who said, ‘Yeah, I think Conan O’Brien could do it.’ ” — Luke (50:35)

10. Dazzling Donors Acknowledgements

• 52:37-59:54 – Amid continued puppy mayhem, Luke and Andrew thank this episode’s Dazzling Donors:
  • Kelly Nilsen (San Diego): Supporting a woman-owned financial business and her son’s impending college journey.
  • Elizabeth Tuchel (Seattle): Pays tribute to the vintage bus driver at the Seahawks’ Super Bowl parade who heroically navigated a narrow tunnel, providing photos and a salute.

11. Top Story: The Ichiro Statue Bat Fiasco

(60:24–69:33)

• Context & Unveiling: Mariners legend Ichiro Suzuki’s statue is unveiled outside T-Mobile Park, with baseball icons Ken Griffey Jr. and Edgar Martinez in attendance and Rick Riz serving as emcee.

• Debacle: During the dramatic drape-removal, the statue’s bat snaps, drooping awkwardly before assembled fans and media. All present handle it with humor and aplomb:

  • Ken Griffey Jr. cracks up, Ichiro laughs, and Rick Riz quips: “All right, we’re going to count down from 51.” (61:18)
  • Riz later jokes: “There was a fastball inside, but he still got a base hit,” referencing the broken-bat hit. (63:40)
  • Ichiro, through his interpreter, blames legendary Yankees closer Mariano Rivera: “I didn’t expect Mariano Rivera to pop up and break my bat.” (63:52)
  • The Mariners social media leans in, posting a Tweet of the broken-bat statue as the night’s giveaway (64:12).
  • The hosts note the moment might have been glossed over in the official Mariners broadcast out of sensitivity.

• Larger Reflection: Luke marvels at the challenges of statue engineering—especially the uniqueness of capturing Ichiro’s one-armed, upright bat pose. There’s relief that the likeness of Ichiro himself was good (not a “Lucille Ball statue” situation).

12. Mariners’ Winning Streak and Mood

• 68:55 – Both hosts admit that their mood about the statue mishap is buoyed by the Mariners’ current winning streak: “Honestly, it’s a thousand times more memorable now. It has such a great story,” Andrew says (68:51).

13. Wrapping Up: Puppy Management and the Week Ahead

• 69:33–72:15 – The hosts sign off discussing how Andrew and Genevieve will juggle dog “shifts” this week; Lucy’s training continues to dominate their lives. Andrew reveals he and Genevieve look forward to taking Lucy to “bars and parks,” even as a young contractor teases them for having their priorities in that order.

  • Final Words:
    “Have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.” — Luke (71:52)
    “And good luck to all. Sorry about the audio problems. That was Bingo sitting on the board.” — Andrew (72:02)

TIMESTAMPS FOR KEY SEGMENTS

• 00:00-02:00 – Opening coffee skit
• 03:14 – “Monday the 13th” and sound effects discussion
• 08:00–16:30 – Childhood movie confusions & scary Disney villains
• 19:11–25:21 – Fashion nostalgia: the 2000s reappear
• 25:26–32:37 – Puppy update: Lucy’s adjustment & Andrew’s puppy fatigue
• 33:15–41:01 – Little League Jalapeños game report
• 41:01–48:07 – Birdsong interruption + Paul Simon SNL turkey costume sketch
• 60:24–69:33 – Main story: Ichiro statue’s broken bat unveiling

NOTABLE QUOTES

• “The only reason we have today’s coffee is because I worried about it yesterday.” — Luke Burbank (Coffee skit, 00:34)
• “That’s not who I am. I am a man of faith and propriety.” — Andrew, on life becoming about puppy potty training (32:19)
• “For the rest of our lives, we will always be one pot of coffee ahead.” — Rick Riz (01:00)
• “This has become a real tradition on the show… [of] wrong stuff. And then we go on about a five-minute adventure of trying to clean up exactly what the hell I’m referring to.” — Andrew (06:09)
• “But as I remind the players, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. That’s the lesson we’ll carry forward.” — Coach Ben (40:32)
• “The Mariners are undefeated during times when Lucy has been watching them, as far as I understand.” — Luke (32:37)
• “All losses sting. This one lingered because it was a game we could and probably should have won. We were the better team.” — Coach Ben report, read by Luke (40:32)
• "I didn't expect Mariano Rivera to pop up and break my bat." — Ichiro, through interpreter, via Luke (63:52)
• "Honestly, it's a thousand times more memorable now. It has such a great story." — Andrew, on the bat mishap (68:51)

TONE & STYLE

The conversation is upbeat, self-deprecating, and rambling in only the ways that TBTL knows how: deeply referential, full of running in-jokes, and peppered with affectionate ribbing. Both Luke and Andrew embrace the show’s inside-baseball (sometimes literally) feel, delighting in their listeners’ tolerance for digression and absurdity.

Summary By: [Podcast Summarizer AI, June 2024]