#4715 KUMON Eileen

Summary

TBTL #4715 "KUMON Eileen"
April 28, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

This episode of TBTL finds hosts Luke and Andrew in classic form: riffing on the mundane but relatable details of daily life, from catastrophic traffic trouble to the ultimate social anxieties of airplane bathroom protocol, and from obscure casino carpet design to the hilarious saga of a sports scandal playlist. Along the way, they field a Kumon logo mystery, express admiration (and existential dread) about the passage of time and their own ages, and celebrate the enduring power and uniqueness of their own podcasting community.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Luke’s Epic Traffic Saga (00:41 - 16:50)

• Luke recounts his odyssey: After getting his car serviced in Portland, Luke gets trapped in a four-hour gridlock due to a tipped-over big rig on I-5, with no viable detours.
• Describes the mounting panic: “I’ve never experienced something like this … People had just pulled over on the side of the road and just like, you know, had turned their cars off. It was that kind of a thing.” (16:26)
• Decision-making stress: With sketchy cell signal and unreliable navigation apps, Luke gambles by turning around and risking that I-5 had finally reopened, which it had—granting him the supreme satisfaction of escaping the misery he saw others still stuck in.
• Andrew's perfect analogy: Andrew compares the scene to R.E.M.'s “Everybody Hurts” video: “People were walking on the hoods of their cars. People were just—” (16:44)
• Movie trivia tangent: Andrew identifies the R.E.M. video’s inspiration: the Italian film 8½ by Fellini.

2. Social Anxiety and Airplane Bathroom Etiquette (19:09 - 25:20)

• Aging, coffee, and bladder strength: Andrew interrogates Luke about whether he needed to pee during his ordeal (“I peed right before I left Ron Tonkin … hold it for four hours still. My state is—I’m saluting you in my mind.” 19:53)
• Shared pee-anxiety on flights: Both admit to stress about using bathrooms at inopportune travel moments and marvel at the pure confidence of those who break unwritten air travel rules, like coach passengers using the first-class lavatory.
• Class boundaries: Luke: “I am far too frightened to try to run up there and use that bathroom because I’m worried I’ll get hollered at. But then I see people that are just like, oh yeah … a level of self-confidence I’ll just never have.” (23:04)

3. Casino Carpets and LA Center, WA (25:07 - 29:23)

• Carpet as metaphor: Discussion of the garish, patterned rugs in regional poker rooms designed to hide dirt, sadness, and bad decisions. Luke admits the patterns are also excellent at hiding hangover vomit.
• Changing casino landscape: The rise of the “fancy” ilani Casino versus the persistence of old-school card rooms.

4. The Diana Russini/Mike Vrabel Scandal Playlist (29:23 - 40:04)

• Recap of scandal: Diana Russini (NFL insider) reportedly made a Spotify playlist called “Turning the Page” allegedly for (then-Titans, now Patriots) coach Mike Vrabel during a losing streak—fuel for rumors about their affair.
• Playlist contents: Andrew reads the track list, roasting its “tragic” middle-aged musical choices—e.g., Beyoncé, Pink, Papa Roach, Red Hot Chili Peppers, with the crowning embarrassment: the Cars soundtrack version of “Life Is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts, added a year later.
• Notable quote: Luke: “If somebody made me a playlist and it had those songs on it, I would have a really hard time seeing a future with that person.” (39:42)
• Mixtape dealbreakers: Luke admits to once breaking up over home décor choices; Andrew recalls the MySpace song offense.

5. Podcasting Pride and Smartless Anecdote (51:52 - 54:52)

• Podcast humility: Luke expresses surprise and pride that TBTL runs a tighter ship than some big-budget shows, prompted by watching Jason Bateman fumble to find his intro onstage at a Smartless live show.
• TBTL's professional pride: “Could you imagine, Andrew, could you imagine you and I doing a TBTL live event where some important material we needed was on one of our phones? I mean, that to me is … that's amateurish, you know.” (53:22)

6. Dazzling Donors, Listener Community, and Mariners Math (43:48 - 51:49)

• Listener support: Sincere thanks to donors Danielle Walsh and Aaron Hicks—shoutouts to TBTL’s tight-knit listener community, highlighting collaboration and mutual assistance.
• Is this the Mariners' 50th season? Andrew spirals into self-doubt over the math behind the Mariners’ 50th-anniversary celebration timing (and whether it’s just a marketing stretch).
• Community meme: “That’s about the number of top stories that we get to per year, Aaron. Is about two of them.” (47:47)

7. Kumon Logo Mystery and Listener Vmail (61:25 - 64:19)

• Callback to past episode: Listener voicemail explains Kumon’s strange logo: designed by the founder’s child, showing a “thinking” kid just before the “aha” moment—meant to represent learning rather than confusion.
• Episode title brainstorming: Quick riff on possible show names: “KUMON Eileen” vs. “Where There’s a Will, There’s a Waze.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Luke on traffic escape: “The insane satisfaction I got bombing down I-5 looking at those cars … I don’t wish any ill on those people, but the fact that I made the call and it was the right call … that was actually kind of satisfying.” (12:25)
• Andrew on airplane rebels: “How are people navigating the world in this way? Aren’t they scared they’re gonna get hollered at?” (22:46)
• Andrew on the playlist: “Nothing is sadder than this playlist, which is just the worst. … The back half is just for middle-aged men who grew up in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s as me and my colleague Mike Vrabel did.” (33:51, 34:14)
• Luke reflecting on relationships and taste: “There are things like that, for me it’s really not about the music. It’s about the, like, well, can I share a life with someone who prefers the Rascal Flatts version of ‘Life is a Highway’?” (41:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---|---| | Pasta banter cold open | 00:00 – 00:41 | | Luke’s traffic ordeal | 01:43 – 16:44 | | Airplane bladder anxiety | 19:09 – 25:20 | | Casino carpets & LA Center | 25:07 – 29:23 | | Diana Rossini/Mike Vrabel Playlist | 29:23 – 40:04 | | Dazzling Donor messages | 43:48 – 51:49 | | Mariners Anniversary Math Despair | 47:47 – 51:49 | | Smartless anecdote & podcast pride | 51:52 – 54:52 | | DTF St. Louis (“Thunderboys”) | 54:53 – 61:08 | | Kumon logo mystery & listener voicemail | 61:25 – 64:19 |

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Tone & Language

The tone is classic TBTL: witty, self-deprecating, occasionally sarcastic but always affectionate about the quirks of everyday life and intensely loyal to the “Tens” listener community. The language is informal, conversational, and peppered with “inside” jokes, pop culture riffs, and personal anecdotes.

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Summary

For new and returning listeners, this episode offers a feast of everything TBTL stands for: observational comedy rooted in personal misadventure, delightfully trivial pop culture theorizing, and a living, breathing listener community that often outshines the top stories. The blend of relatable anxiety, weird-but-true micro-narratives (from bathrooms to mixtapes), and podcasting soul-searching is as engaging as ever.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

When you eat pasta, you are essentially

[Luke Burbank]

sending a hormonal message to your body

[Andrew Walsh]

saying, pack on more fat.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what's happening. So even without cakes and chocolate, pasta itself turns into sugars in your body. That's what makes you gain all the weight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's it. We're throwing our pasta out.

[Luke Burbank]

Peter, all pastas, lasagna, all of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're done. All this stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

You even.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no, no, no. Just have it so we can look at it.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, we're cutting it out of our diet. We are done with pasta. We are done with spaghetti. We are done with linguine fettuccine. Fettuccine doesn't count. Absolutely counts. No more pasta.

[Luke Burbank]

Just have a bowl of spaghetti.

[Andrew Walsh]

Come on. No.

[Luke Burbank]

What happened to you?

[Andrew Walsh]

What happened? No more pasta for you or me. Okay? It's over.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

He is a fan of the outrageous.

[Andrew Walsh]

He loves to surprise.

[Luke Burbank]

He loves other things as well. Oh, this is the best pizza in a cup ever. This guy's unbelievable. He ran the old cup of pizza guy out of business.

[Andrew Walsh]

Game day, bucket go boom.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's not on tv.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's just an Internet thing. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

The only thing that's nice about this

[Andrew Walsh]

is even though it's a Tuesday, it feels kind of like it's a Friday.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Isn't that for techno geeks with spreadsheet? My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host. Hey, cheer up.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's Taco Tuesday.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill Studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where I had an absolutely ridiculously arduous journey this morning trying to get back home, back here to the Madrona Hill Studio.

[Andrew Walsh]

You gotta be kidding me.

[Luke Burbank]

I had to run down to the Portland area early this morning to get some service done on my car, and I didn't know if I was actually going to be able to record the program today. There was a point where I thought, well, maybe I just live in the woods of Richland, Washington. We'll get into that here on episode 4715 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. Also, you know, Andrew and I, I think, tend to be fairly understated about this podcast. We don't like to talk about it with people out in the real world, and we make a lot of. We make a lot of jokes at our own expense. But I actually something happened related to a very, very popular and very Very well funded podcast recently that. Yeah, everyone's got a podcast that made me a little proud of us, actually. It made me feel like, you know what, we're actually doing an okay job here in TBTL land. So we will talk about that. Oh, and speaking of my good friend Andrew Walsh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh la la.

[Luke Burbank]

You know him as the longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. And he is joining me now, patiently joining me now after many hours of me texting him from the road saying, I'm not home yet. I'm sorry, I'm not home yet. Welcome to the show, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you. You know, you describe me as patient and I do consider myself a patient man, but did I, did I just hear a Howard Stern drop that I did not sign off on during sound check? Did you just sneak.

[Luke Burbank]

Everyone's got a podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

We, we rehearse, we rehearse, we rehearse and then we forget it. But it seems like you forgot to play that during the sound check. But then you're like, well, it's okay, I'll just, I'll just do it in the real product anyway. Like, this is where my patience hits its limit. You understand?

[Luke Burbank]

I know a guy who's at his limit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

With my shenanigans. I understand if you're, you know, if you're having a hard time extending grace to me this morning because I've already thoroughly ruined things before we even got to recording yet that I don't think I've ever been through something exactly like that. What just happened to me this morning, Andrew, I. So first of all, I've been ducking, getting my car serviced for months, like six months. It's been telling me you, in fact, they, they mailed me a letter, the dealership mailed me a letter that said if I don't bring it in for regular service, it could invalidate my warranty. That's what finally tipped me over. And so I, and I'm going out of town. I'm going to LA for some work this week. So I was like, the last chance that I have to do this was early this morning. And really all it was was an oil change, but. And new spark plugs. So I ran it down, I ran the car down early this morning. I thought, I'll get this all done, I'll come back, we'll do TBTL at the normal time. And little did I know that while I was down there, or actually on my way down there, heading south on Interstate 5, heading north on Interstate 5 was a tractor trailer. There was a big rig that was going to tip over on its side and almost as if, like a child were playing with his toys, place itself perfectly, blocking literally every single lane of northbound i5 and closing down the entire freeway. I did not realize this was happening until I was heading north back to come here to do the show with you. And where this truck was positioned, where it was blocking the road was the literal worst place it could have been because of having to do with something called the Lewis River. Lewis and other things. There were literally no viable detours. I got off the freeway because the freeway was just a literal parking lot, but all of the side streets were literal parking lots. And I kept rerouting and kept taking these different, more obscure, tiny back roads, hoping I was going to find a wormhole of some kind. And it didn't work out. I ended up, I said at the beginning of the show, it was Ridgefield, Washington. I think it might have been more what's technically called LA Center.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know that's where you think you threw away your wallet at a gas station.

[Luke Burbank]

Good memory. Yeah, very good memory.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a very interesting name. I wouldn't have come up with the name, but when I hear LA center, it sounds like a. Sounds like a made up name. Right. It sounds like somebody who's never spoken Spanish in their life, but they're pretending like they speak Spanish and they're trying to tell you to get to the middle of something. They're telling you to go to the LA Center.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you want. You're gonna want to go down to LA Center. Yes, exactly. Good memory. I think it was I threw away my driver's license accidentally. I think it was sticking. My theory is my driver's license was stuck to a hotel key card. And when I threw the hotel key card out getting gas in LA Center, Washington, my theory is that my driver's license was stuck to the back of it. Anyway, I ended up in this predicament which was I kept getting on these increasingly smaller little back roads, and then eventually I was on this one that was in a very kind of wooded area. And we're just parked. I mean, it's the kind of thing where people are just getting out of their cars and kind of wandering around. This kid in front of me, I think ran out of gas or something, broke with his car. He had his hood up. And I wanted to be more helpful, but I was like, I gotta save myself here.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got. Were people driving around him or was he at least on the Side of the road. Did he get to the curb?

[Luke Burbank]

No, he was in the lane of traffic. And the reason that I, I, I, I saw the full extent of it was because eventually, Andrew, I'm kind of jumping to the end of the story. I eventually pulled that move where I just bailed on the traffic and turned around and drove the other way because it was so constricted. But I was in this little kind of wooded area that had these actually was quite beautiful. I was trying to like work through a bunch of things. I was, I turned off the radio and my phone and I was just staring at the, at the, like the nature and I was trying to just kind of like embrace the boredom of it. I was trying to like pretend like I was outside on a nature walk. I went through a million different things to try to deal with the insanity of this, like three to four hours or whatever that I was just stuck trying to get back home. But the thing about this little area that I was in was it there was no Internet. Like I couldn't get a cell service on my phone for parts of it. And so I'm looking at ways and Waze is telling me that it's going to be 50 minutes, but it's not changing and I'm not moving. And I don't even know if ways is, if I'm getting old ways information. Like I don't know if it's, if it's talking to, you know, the cell towers or if I'm just, if it's, if it's just showing me what it knew five minutes or I should say, you know, 20 minutes ago, before I got into this pickle, which was basically parked on this road surrounded by other cars that are parked too afraid to turn around and leave. Because I thought, well, I mean, I've already invested now hours getting to this point. If I turn around and just drive back to i5, that's just going to be a parking lot as well. I didn't really know what to do. And then amazingly, as we inched forward ever so slowly, I got a little moment of self service and I checked the Internet and I went to my northwest dot com. Not intentional. I guess they have pretty good SEO. I was just trying to find out what was going on with this crash.

[Andrew Walsh]

Say that you were in a choke point situation.

[Luke Burbank]

It was the chokiest of choke points. And I did think of Chris Sullivan when I was there. Really I literally did. Because I was trying to figure out, like, why are we not moving at all? All, like there has to be Some, there has to be some car at the front of this. Who's. What Just not, not driving. They're afraid. What's going on? Why are we stopped here in this, in this wooded glen with no cell service. But I got just enough cell service to jump back on the Internet. And I, I, I searched i5 truck crash and mynorthwest.com popped up. And it said as of 10:19am, which at this point it was already like 10:50. No, it was like, yeah, like 10:50 or something. It was coming up on 11. It said as of 10:19am,. Washington State Department of Transportation announces all lanes are reopened. And so I was like, well, then why is this traffic? Why is this so bad where I am? I5 is reopened. And I had to make a very, very, you know, high stakes decision, which is, am I gonna, am I gonna get out of this traffic and drive, retrace my steps all the way back to Interstate 5 on the hope that MyNorthwest.com is accurately reporting this information? Because if I get all the way back there and it's still like it was before, then I've, I've, you know, I've made things even worse. And we may not even get to record the show today. But I did. I decided to trust mynorthwest.com I decided to trust the idea that i5 was actually gonna be better now than it was that it was reopened. So I did that thing where I just inched out and did like a 33 point turn, drove, saw the kid in the Subaru who now had his hood up. When I went around him, he was just kind of like standing looking at his car. But now that I'm going back past him, he's got the hood up.

[Andrew Walsh]

How much did that add to the backup? Or was there no traffic really going the opposite way? So everybody was just swerving around him?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, they were just swerving around him like nobody was moving in that direction. And then something magical happened, Andrew. As I started driving back towards i5, the ETA, the time that I was going to be spending in the car started magically dropping. I started going from 57 minutes to 45 minutes to 35 minutes to eventually it was like, I'm 20 miles from my house and it's 20 minutes. And I realized all of those people, those poor unfortunate souls that were in that crazy side street backup that I was in, were going to be there potentially for hours more. Because. And the thing is, when you're, when you're, I did not do a legal move to get out of that traffic. So Waze doesn't, you know, Waze is very rule following. It's not going to tell you, oh, you could actually just do an illegal U turn here and drive the other way. So it's thinking the next place that I can even turn is down at some stoplight somewhere in like, I don't even know what that town is called. But this other town where we were all on our way to, which at one time might have been a better option, but now that i5 was reopened, that was the way to go. And as I'm getting towards i5, I'm noticing there's not any backups. There's. There aren't big long lines to get on the freeway. And I get on the freeway again at LA center and it's just wide open and I am bombing down the highway and what I can see to my right is the line of traffic that I was in. And it is so long still. And I can trace it, it goes all the way down into this town. I think the town's called Woodland, where there's one stoplight and the problem is all of this extra traffic that pushed on the side street. It's all trying to go this one through, this one little small town stoplight that's not used to that kind of action. And now it really, really, really sucked being in this traffic this morning and pushing back our show record time and all that stuff. But the insane satisfaction I got bombing down i5 looking at those cars and there were semi trucks, I could see them just backed up indefinitely. And like, I don't wish any ill on those people, but the fact that I made the call and it was the right call and that I got out of it and got on i5 and, and saw it was like it was a real sliding doors, jingle all the way kind of a situation. I could see, I could see all the people that were in the line that I had been in and I was not in that line anymore. And that was actually kind of satisfying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you familiar with the Last Frontier Poker Room?

[Luke Burbank]

The Last Frontier in LA Center, Washington? I've probably been there, probably some poker.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm looking at the center right now. I'm trying to figure out, because what I was going to say to you, you know, you need to avoid LA Center. I don't know if we have any listeners there or not. And if we do, I'm sure it's working out for you.

[Luke Burbank]

I've had some LA problems.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but you've had some LE problems in la. Center. And so first of all, I would avoid that. I have some other questions for you really quickly. This is the least interesting one, but then I'm going to get to the more interesting one, but just for my own edification. So you said you were down in the Portland area. I'm going to assume maybe on the northern end because you're north of Portland. So maybe you weren't going all the way through Portland, but generally speaking, how long of a trip is it for you to get to Portland? Portland or this area that you were at?

[Luke Burbank]

I was at Ron Tonkin Mazda, which is actually, I don't know if it's. I guess it's technically Portland, but you want to take it to real boring town. I am able to get from my house to Portland International Airport and also like this area that the, this Ron Tonkin thing is kind of near the airport.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Because I don't have to actually go through Portland. I get to kind of like skirt it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm driving south on i5. Then I get on something called 205. And in not having to go all the way into Portland, it means that I, I could get to the. On a good day, I could get to the airport in 35 minutes from my house.

[Andrew Walsh]

So it should be about a 35 minute ride is what we're getting.

[Luke Burbank]

35, 40 minute ride.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then I texted you at what, 8am I think I texted you damn near 8am of all of the days. Yeah, no, it was fine. I. I have some other stuff going on here at our place with old Lucy. She's okay, but she. I think she contracted a UTI at some point last night. And so it made our evening very interesting. At first we were very, very concerned that she had some sort of a more serious condition or something. But we're pretty convinced that what she has is a uti, which might.

[Luke Burbank]

I know you like to get wet though.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, kind of. Which is, I think, treatable. We haven't actually. We're trying to get her to the vet now as we speak because these and I both have busy days and we are just. It was just kind of a crazy situation. So I had texted you to say, hey, you know, no pressure, but if you're just sitting around waiting for anyway, we could just dial up a couple of hours early or something and get, and get the show on the road today. And that's when you told me, oh, no, I can't. I'm stuck in this just amazing traffic. I don't think amazing was your word, but we didn't even really quite realize just how bad that traffic was going to be. But all of that is to say. So 8am you're telling me I'm stuck in traffic? You probably were not just hitting the road at 8am I'm trying to figure out exactly how long it took you to get back home in what should have been a 35 minute drive. It must have been. Well, if you started it, if you started from my text message at eight o', clock, that's three and a half hours. But you were already on the road probably when I texted you, Right?

[Luke Burbank]

I might.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

8:12am I might have been. Yeah, I guess I was. I was already getting into the traffic because the accident turns out was at 7:40am so.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So so basically it added.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I got four hours.

[Luke Burbank]

I was probably like. Four hours. Yeah. I mean, that's what I'm telling you. It was total insanity. I did. I've never experienced something like this where there's no alternative or where like, you know, where it's like there's people again. People had just pulled over on the side of the road and just like, you know, we're just had turned their cars off. It was that kind of a thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was like Michael Stipe was singing Everybody Hurts. People were walking on the hoods of their cars. People were just.

[Luke Burbank]

People were wandering around.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

On the freeway. Dazed and confused.

[Andrew Walsh]

What? I mean, Italian movie that there's a parody of. This has come up on the show before and I described it as a French movie. And then when we finally figured it out, we realized it's very much not a French movie. You have any idea what I'm talking about? No. The. That, you know the video I'm talking about from R.E.M. right. The black and white. Everybody Hurts. Michael Stipe is walking on the hoods of cars. Everybody's just like stuck in traffic. You see bored children in the back seat. And it's kind of a. And then as the song sort of swells, that's when Michael. People start getting out of their cars and walking on their cars. And it's a. But it's all based on a movie that I would watch watch years and years later. And I never knew. And then it was this Italian movie. And that's how that movie sort of begins with like a bunch of like kind of portraits of people waiting in. In stopped cars. Are you. I'm trying to find Googling. Yeah, I am.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm Googling it. Although I. But Everybody Hurts video parody, which leads us To Wayne's World doing a parody of REM's Everybody Hurts. Yeah, well, why don't you do this REM parody called Everybody Poops? Oh, someone has put on YouTube.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sounds about up, up, up our alley. Let's see here. Well, why don't you watch the video? You could just kind of watch the video there and so you get a sense of what I'm talking about. So the next time, because I. This is a go to for me quite a bit. Let's hear Everybody Hurts. It was directed by Jake Scott. Let's see here. The band is stuck in trap in a traffic jam. It shows people in other cars with subtitles of their thoughts appearing on the screen. That's right. That's what the whole thing is.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the movie thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, and that's very much like it. And why am I not Fellini's Eight and a Half? It's how Fellini's Eight and a Half opens a heavy traffic jam and kind of it's a dream sequence. So anyway, famous French director, one of.

[Luke Burbank]

One of my top directors that I lie about having seen their work.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's all I've seen. And if I recall, I was kind of disappointed in it because it was about a. Well, something. There are beautiful movies sometimes, but really at the heart of them, it's just about whether or not a man will have more sex. And it just is just that. That it's just like one of those things. Like I am way too invested. I don't know if there's mistresses involved or whatever, but I'm just kind of like, I really don't care about your boner. As Genevieve will sometimes yell at the TV and sometimes at me. Okay, so here was. I told you I had a bragging. I said I had the.

[Luke Burbank]

Someone's got some blue gold.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, no, I said I had a boring question, which is I wanted to get a sense of how long you're in the car versus how long it should have taken. 35 minutes is average. You took four hours. Okay, here's the more interesting question. I think speaking of gold in yellow, you are a man who is about to turn 50 years old. In fact, I believe that's maybe a few weeks away. No.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's on the horizon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's on the horizon. You're a man of about 50 years old. You're a man who enjoys coffee. I believe you drink a lot of coffee in the morning. I don't know what else you're drinking. Probably a lot of water at any Time during this four hour trip, did it occurred to you I might be in a situation here vis a vis having to go to the bathroom?

[Luke Burbank]

I peed right before I left Ron Tonkin.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I still though four hours, you know, Good on you.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold it for four hours still. My state is.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm saluting you. In my mind.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a. I can drink coffee before I go to bed and I can hold my bladder for four hours. Although now that you mention it, I do sort of have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now you have to go because I

[Luke Burbank]

ran right in here and turned on the computer to dial up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, we can take a break when we get to the dazzling donors, but. Well, that's. That's very impressive because that would have been. I would have been. What would have happened is I would have started thinking about it. That's what happens to me these days. I'm kind of like, oh, no, I'm fine.

[Listener]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wait. Oh, wait, maybe I'm not fine. And then I start telling myself, oh, shoot, you do have to go. And sometimes it's not even based on reality that much, but I'm just in my head about it so much. Especially in those situations where I feel like a door has closed, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Like on the airplane kind of a thing. Although you're an aisle guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am. That's why, though. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Because I'm a window person. But now there's these two things that are competing in my life, which is my love of being on the window with my. My prostate enlarging. Yeah. By the year. And so I know I may have to become an aisle guy at some point because I do make frequent trips.

[Andrew Walsh]

But.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. That whole thing of being on the window. And like when they say, okay, you know, we're about to begin our initial descent.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mm.

[Luke Burbank]

And particularly you're flying into somewhere like JFK or one of these airports that even after you land, you might still just be sort of taxiing around for a long time. But they're very anti. You getting up. Then I get legitimately stressed out now if I haven't peed right at the last allowable moment, because I'm like, this might be another hour or two, you know, of descending, landing, taxiing around, whatever is going on. And like, that's. That stresses me out. The idea of needing to pee and not being. Getting hollered at to try to go use the restroom.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I've. This is the thing about me on airplanes, they make that announcement. Sometimes I'm like, oh, damn, I should have. Should have gone to the bathroom. I'll be fine. I should use the restroom though. But they've made the announcement that we have to stay in our seats for the rest of the flight. It's only going to be supposedly a half hour or something like that. And then you just see some, oh, 25 year old young woman in sweatpants and headphones and she just gets up and uses the restroom and there's literally no repercussions at all. And I just think like, I'm just like, you're so brave. You're so brave. I'm just like, you look like you don't, you just like you don't have a care in the world. Like you're just, you didn't, like, maybe you didn't hear it or you heard and it just didn't sound like anything to you. Meanwhile, I'm like, I don't know, can I, can I stay in my seat for the next 30 minutes? I hope we don't have any accidents. Just for the record, I'm not a guy who's having a lot of accidents, but like, I just see people just like, just as casual as casually can be, just be like, okay, I heard the announcement, but that doesn't apply to me. How are people navigating the world in this way? Aren't they scared they're gonna get hollered at?

[Luke Burbank]

The one that I get very nervous about is when I'm in coach. But I'm kind of close, you know, close to the sort of borderline of first class. And I'm always amazed at people that have the confidence to go use the first class bathroom from coach, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't even imagine.

[Luke Burbank]

And, and for the record, I couldn't possibly care less about that. Like if I do happen to be in first class because I got upgraded for free or whatever, I think that bathroom should be for everybody to use. I don't, I think it's silly for that to be, you know, only for the use of the people at the front of the plane. But when I'm in coach, I am far too frightened to like try to, you know, to, to try to like run up there and use that bathroom because I'm worried I'll get hollered at. But then I see people that are just like, oh yeah, I see people coming from coach and using the first class bathroom all the time. Which again is just a level of confidence, self confidence that I'll just never have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, me too. And you're not even like, I'm the rule follower amongst us. Right. Like, and I. So it makes sense that I would be scared to move out of my seat. But like, you're seeing these scoff laws just coming on up using the rich people's bathroom. And again, like, I am just. What is the worst that happens in this scenario? Somebody says that's not for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's literally the worst thing that can happen. Unless you like get belligerent on them or something. But really, probably a nice. Maybe a worst case scenario. A slightly stern flight attendant will tell you can't use that restroom. Use one in the back. But to me, that is capital punishment. Like, I can't handle that.

[Luke Burbank]

I did have a very. On a recent flight, I had been upgraded to first class and the flight attendant was a very severe German American woman or German woman, you know, and it was interesting just to see culturally how that played out because even with like those of us that were flying up at the front of the plane, she was very professional, but not kind of like overly sort of like, you know, I don't know, just like overly falling all over herself to like to welcome us to the flight. Oh my gosh, thank you for being gold 75k and all this stuff. She was pretty straightforward. And then let me tell you, when people tried to come up to use that first class bathroom, she was absolutely not having it. And she did not sugarcoat it. Yeah, she was all about business, so.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, so were the people who are trying to use that bathroom. I'm looking at the Last Frontier Poker Room there in the center, by the way. Newly remodeled. You can click here to learn more, which I did, and I'm learning more about them now. With two newly remodeled buildings devoted to your favorite poker and table games, Last Frontier and New Phoenix Casino set the standard for what a card room should be. Now this raises a question for me. This is something I have not really, you know, I don't spend time in as many card rooms and casinos as you have, as I should. And. But I'm trying, I'm trying, but you know me, I could go get my salt and pepper wings over at a Goldie Shoreline casino every now and then. So I've been in them, usually in, you know, in your shadow. But anyway, I'm just noticing something for the first time that you probably have. There's probably a pretty obvious explanation for this, but I'm looking at the rugs, I'm looking at the carpeting, I should say, in this casino card room and you know, what you describe is just absolutely hideous. Just like a mesh of Colors looks like kind of black, red and white slashes all over the place. It's absolutely, absolutely brutal, but also somehow befitting this kind of establishment. Right. And is that because it hides dirt and sadness?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, and poor decision making. Poor decision making blends right into this rug.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a good decision to get this rug because it hides poor decision making. How could carpeting be so ugly?

[Luke Burbank]

It's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm clicking. Different color schemes have different colorways for different rooms, and one is worse than the other. It's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's just absolutely brutal. You're right. I'm looking at that carpet now. I. And this is. I'm. I'm not proud of this, you know, not proud of it, but man enough to admit it, Andrew. That one of my early forays to Las Vegas, it might have been my second or third time there. I went with Camaro, Kev and our buddy, the veteran Rest in peace, Russell Kurth and a bunch of guys. And we stayed at the Excalibur, which was the cheapest hotel we could find. And it had carpet very much like this. And I wondered. I was like, boy, this is discarpet is as ugly as sin. And then I managed to make myself sick through alcohol consumption and unfortunately did vomit in the hallway. And because I was so out of it, I think I just stumbled into the room and maybe went to sleep possibly in the bathtub. It was that kind of a deal. There were two. There was like eight guys on this trip and two queen beds. We were sleeping in shifts. It was like a fishing boat. Anyway, I remember coming out the next morning, and weirdly, to my horror, it was all gone and had been cleaned up. And why that horrified me was because somebody had to deal with my idiocy. And I felt really bad about that. But I can tell you it was imperceptible on that rug. I kind of knew where it had happened, but if you hadn't been the person who did the throwing up, you would have never known. And it was a carpet pattern very similar to the one at the Last Frontier Poker Room. Now, here's the thing that I find interesting about these casinos in LA Center, Washington. They used to be. There must have been some sort of quirk in the law, like maybe it was the town of LA center just had lax rules around gambling. But that was where all of the poker rooms and card rooms and things were for many years. And then right down the street, they built this giant, gleaming, fancy casino that is a linnae. It looks like Ilani, but it is Pronounced a linnae. Don't ask me how I know that. It's just something I know. And, and I, I, when they built that, they built that alien a thing, I think before I'd moved down to Portland, but I was aware of the scene down here because I, you know, play poker and stuff in Portland from time to time. And I thought, there is no way that these dingy card rooms with their horrendous carpet are going to be able to compete with this giant, beautiful, gleaming casino slash hotel. But they have somehow hung on. And in fact, I, I passed all of them twice this morning. Once when I was getting off i5 and trying to take my secret back route and then when I, when I retraced my steps with my tail between my legs. So I went through downtown LA center and all of its little card rooms and poker rooms not once, but twice this morning.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I'm going to change the subject here because I know it's something that you want to talk about and I want to talk about together. I assume we haven't discussed this, but I just assume we're on the same page here. Did you want to talk about the Spotify playlist that Diana Rossini allegedly made for Mike Vrabel after the Tennessee Titans? After the Tennessee Titans lost their fourth game in a row in 2022? And she made a. Okay, let me, let me back up here. Let me back up. Okay, I want to talk to you about this.

[Luke Burbank]

Should we thank the dazzling donors first?

[Andrew Walsh]

We're going to do this now. We're going to do it quickly.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I want to hear this is the content I turn to this show for.

[Andrew Walsh]

There is. I learned this today. I didn't know about this, but there is somebody on the, on the social media platform Bluesky who goes by the name David@ FOIA Ball. And it says FOIA Ball digs through public records to break college football's weirdest, wildest and biggest secrets. That's right. FOIA Freedom of Information Act. And so David at FOIA Ball tweeted this out that I saw because somebody kind of like re shared it or whatever. Diana Rossini made a Spotify playlist called

[Luke Burbank]

do we need to give people any context for this?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll give the one sentence. Can I do it in one sentence? Diana Rossini is a longtime NFL reporter and what they call insider whose latest gig was at the top of the media mountain for that kind of role reporting for the Athletic and the New York Times. What we found out recently was that she has been having what Appears to be. She has not admitted it or nor has Mike Vrabel, but it would appear that she and former Tennessee Titans coach, current Patriots coach Mike Vrabel and one time and one time Walsh Jesuit high school football player. And I would have been at Walsh Jesuit. I would have been a freshman when he was a senior, I believe, although I did not know it at the time, truly. Again, as somebody pointed out on the fun loving criminals misunderstanding the idea behind a man for others, I can be a man for others. He's married, but he can also be a man for others is not the takeaway that the Jesuits intended. All of that is to say I think probably most people, even Genevieve was familiar with this story. So I don't think this is because it's scandalous. I don't think it is relegated to the sports world, but it's also a story about journalistic ethics or whatever. Because here you have this very well regarded and somebody who I've been a fan of, by the way, Diana Rossini, a very well regarded reporter who it would appear has been having an ongoing affair with coach Mike Vrabel for like at least six years now or something. Because more and more photos are coming out after they were caught recently on camera looking like they were having a rendezvous at some like in a fancy resort in Arizona. Now more photos are coming out of them like kind of canoodling at a bar back in 2020, I want to say when she would have been engaged and he would have been married. And so it looks like this is an ongoing relationship. I didn't keep the background to one to one sentence. Sorry about that.

[Luke Burbank]

She did name, by the way, she named her son Michael Michael, which which people have noted is kind of interesting because it appears that whatever was going on with the two of them was preceding the birth of her child.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, other people have also said, like she's, you know, an Italian American family, it's gonna be Michael or Tony, like also, like that's fair enough or whatever. And, you know, how much do you want to read into this? I will say that while I don't want to be, you know, I really do have a soft spot for her because she was a commentator, you know, like a guest on the LeBatard show a lot. And just like great personality, super funny, but also heartbreaking because so much of her humor comes from like kind of talking about her home life with her husband and kind of busting chops and everything. And of course, me and Mike Vrabel, I kind of, we have A bond because I taught him everything he knows about football when we were colleagues in high school.

[Luke Burbank]

Colleagues.

[Andrew Walsh]

So anyway, so, you know, I don't know how much fun to have with the whole thing. It can be sort of heartbreaking. But also, come on, let's just lighten up a little bit. So these folks are at least this, this person. David at Foible says Diana Rossini made a Spotify playlist called Turn in the Page that she shared with a user named Mike on December 19, 2022, which just so happens to coincide with a four game Titans losing streak when he

[Luke Burbank]

would have been the head coach of the Titans.

[Andrew Walsh]

When he would have been the head coach of the Titans. As I said when I reposted this, I said, not trying to defend anybody here, but can you name one person who didn't create a special Spotify playlist when the titans fell to 7 and 7 in 2022? But anyway, we don't know for sure that the mic who Diana Rossini made this playlist for is Mike Vrabel. But let's go with it. The assumption is like, okay, his team is on a losing streak. She's an NFL reporter and insider, but she's also having this ongoing dalliance with him and he's now lost another game. The team is in a, if not a fall, certainly a skid. And so the idea is she has made a playlist called Turning the Page for Her Lover Boy. And I want to go, if you haven't already googled, I'd like to go over with you, Luke, what is in this playlist because of everything that is sad and tragic about learning of this relationship and all of the families that have been broken up and the sadness. Nothing is sadder than this playlist, which is just the worst. I mean, it's described as like, the first half is just a bunch of songs by anybody who has very basic taste in pop culture in 2022. And the back half is just for middle aged men who grew up in the late 80s and early 90s as, as me and my colleague, my former colleague Mike Vrabel did. It begins with Cuff it by Beyonce from the Renaissance record, then Big Energy by Lotto. I do actually like that song. Okay, that's good then.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually kind of slaps.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're going back to the same Beyonce record for Break My Soul. I mean, that's. I think it's actually devilishly creative sometimes to include on a mixtape two songs off the same album. But you're not doing that with the one in three slots. That's ridiculous. Especially for such a. Again, I like Beyonce. Who doesn't? But it's just, you know, it's not, like, super interesting or creative to do this. House Party by Sam Hunt. I'm unfamiliar. My love by Route 94, pump it louder by Tiesto and the Black Eyed Peas. Luke. Wow. Raise your Glass by Pink.

[Luke Burbank]

Move over. This is how legends are made.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is how legends are. Oh, wait, I had a joke I wanted to make about that. When you were telling me about that song, do you remember the name of the band that does? This is how legends are made.

[Luke Burbank]

Or was it a guy's name? It's like a dude's name.

[Andrew Walsh]

When you were telling me about that on the show the other day, I wanted to say to you, wouldn't it be amazing if that dude, when he goes on tour? Because didn't you say that he, like. Is. Is he the one who's doing a

[Luke Burbank]

bunch of Sam Tenez?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is he doing a bunch of Savannah Banana shows? Tour Mike, inflated by stories. Wouldn't it be amazing to go see Sam Tenez and he doesn't do that song right? Would that just be the most amazing,

[Luke Burbank]

the amount of respect that I would actually have for him?

[Andrew Walsh]

That flex, I'm so glad you brought it back up. I've been thinking about that for a week. I'm like, damn it, I wanted to bring that up with you. Okay. So anyway, then we have a song by Pink called raise your glass and then bass down Low by Dev don't know it, can't stop by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Last Resort by Papa

[Luke Burbank]

Roach, Hoopla or whatever they say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the. Is that Stop.

[Luke Burbank]

Addicted to the Dun Dun.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the red. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

My Anthony Kiedis impression.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pretty good. Then just suddenly. Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N Roses. Photograph by Def Leppard, God of Thunder by Kiss, Dance the night Away by Van Halen. Then Renegade by Styx. Now, keep in mind, though, David at Foible is nothing if not dogged about this. Follows up to his own post to write. A year later, the playlist was perfected with the addition of one single song. What? Life is a Highway by Raspberry Flats. Not even by the way, sits dormant for a year. And then Life is a Highway by Rascal Flats.

[Luke Burbank]

The fact that. Sorry, I'm. I wanted to double check something before I was loud.

[Listener]

Wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

The fact that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the original or a cover that. Is that what you're checking? It's a cover. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I believe. It's like A. It's like a Tom Cochran.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the original? The one that we grew up with?

[Luke Burbank]

The one we grew up with. And then Rascal Flats re recorded the song for the Disney Pixar movie Cars. So she's not even putting. She's not even putting the original Life Is A Highway song. She's putting the Rascal Flats version.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, God, that's so.

[Luke Burbank]

From the Cars soundtrack.

[Andrew Walsh]

So good. Mike. I'm going back. I wanted to just. I wanted to freshen up the playlist a little bit. And so I added the Disney cover version by Rascal Flatts of Life Is a Highway. Yeah, that is superb. Just one more thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Just fully Columbo. The playlist. That's why. Now, what's interesting about FOIA Ball is I don't think he had to file a FOIA for this. I think this is just good oldfashioned. This is just good oldfashioned shoe leather journalism.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. I'm following that. Earned follow.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably. I'm guessing that Diana Rossini's Somehow her Spotify playlists are public. Or.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that she's changed it since this went viral today. Like, literally. I think I saw somebody. I couldn't click on it because. Because I think it's on. It was on Twitter and not Blue sky and I didn't get access. But I think she's now changed the name of it or something as a way of sort of. How do you say it? Obfuscating. But I. But anyway. But in that people were just kind of like, oh, and she just like changed it to her son's names or something like that. It's kind of sad.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, that's the kind of thing that would make Hard for me to have an affair with someone is I'm not even. It sounds like I'm joking and I am sort of joking, but not like if. And let's take the affair aspect of it. Just. Let's call it a relationship. If. If somebody made me a mixtape or a Spotify playlist and it had those songs on it, I would have a really hard time seeing a future with that person.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it'd be like, well, I don't know. I mean, you know, I've told this story before. I once broke up with someone long ago because they were blowing their nose and throwing the tissues against the side of the bed, that every time the bed would move away from the wall, the tissues would fall down between the bed and the wall. And I would think, no one's ever cleaning up those tissues. Like, I Can't have a life with this person. And also, she had some sandals that I didn't really particularly love. Wait a second.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought you'd. Wasn't there some. Or was this just a bit you had or that you joked around about, or was this a real thing? Wasn't there something with a woman that you were dating, like, again, forever ago, where you didn't like the song that automatically played on her MySpace page when you logged in?

[Luke Burbank]

No, that was different. That was. And my ex wife, my first ex wife, when we were sort of estranged, she changed her MySpace song. And it was like. It was a. It was a spoon song. And I felt like it was a direct commentary on me because of the

[Andrew Walsh]

lyrics and the content, because of the lyrics. Oh, okay. And also because you remembered that. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And also. No, I. But there was a difference. Different person that I did not pursue a serious relationship with because she had a paper towel holder that was like a little too country kitchen for me in her apartment that was like. It was like a goose. Like, it was a paper towel holder that was a goose. And I just saw it and I thought, I can't. This can't be my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't. I can't see myself in. In 20 years, like, sharing a life with the person who. This is the kind of paper towel holder they want. Now, I understand this makes me incredibly petty and shallow, but there are things like that that, for me, it's really not about the music. It's about the, like, well, can I share a life with someone who prefers the Rascal Flats version of Life is a Highway? You know?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I gotta be honest with you. As a disliker of the. As a longtime disliker of the original. What's the name again? Yeah, Tom Cochrane. I think you nailed it. I'm going with that. I don't know. Do I like the Rascal Flats version? Worse? I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

This is my Tom Cochran story that I've told, I think, many times on the show, so I'll try to keep it kind of short, but when we were filming that beer commercial lo. Those 20 plus years ago, we were filming up in Canada, and we were up in some rural part of, like, Alberta, and we went to this hole in the wall bar, like a. Like a roadside bar, kind of classically, right out of a movie or something. And because they wanted us in the commercial. The commercial was. We were on a road trip in Canada, and we're having all these experiences, including drinking Molson. So we go into this bar, which Is just like. It's so obscure and off the beaten path. And there's these two drunk guys sitting there, drunk at 11 in the morning or whatever. And we roll in and they bring in all these big lights and stuff. And they actually. They let one of the guys be in the commercial. He's sort of playing the bartender because he looked like the guy who would be a bartender there. And I remember at the end of this whole thing, I thought they'd be quite impressed with us. And they said, I like being in the Life is a Highway video more. Because it's also where they had shot Tom Cochran's Life is a Highway video, had been shot there, as had scenes from the movie Shanghai Noon with Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan. Turns out this is the most filmed bar in Canada.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

These guys were probably both. Probably both had their SAG cards.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that. But especially the specificity of I like being in Tom Cochran's video more.

[Luke Burbank]

They shot Life as a highway there. And I think this guy found that production to be more enjoyable.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wonderful.

[Luke Burbank]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, Go, everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Razzle dazzle. All right, let's take a moment to thank some of our dazzling donors. These fine folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough to the show, and that's how this whole thing continues all these years later. This is 100% listener supported podcast and we don't have any advertisers. We don't have any dark money. We don't have any light money. We just actually, I guess you would call this light money because we know where it is. It's very. We're very transparent about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It comes down to folks like Danielle Walsh in Seattle, Washington, who is donating to the show. Danielle says, for my dazzling donor message this year, I'd like to give a shout out to one of our fellow 10, Andrea Carter, proprietor of a Carter Travels. Oh, yeah, we actually read I'm going with Andrea for some reason, even though maybe it was Andrea. Did we?

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me see if there's a pronounce around that if I can find it. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But we actually read Andrea's dazzling donor message not that long ago, talking about this very same business. Danielle says, I connected with Andrea through the TVTL community and I am so thankful I found her.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, nice.

[Luke Burbank]

I'd always thought travel agents were friends. Fancy people with hot air balloons.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well played.

[Luke Burbank]

Well played. Let's see, but not regular people like me. But I took a chance and I worked with Andrea to plan our family trip to Japan last summer. Andrea was amazing to work with. She took all the stress out of planning. She was so organized and on top of every detail. She checked in on us during the trip and even sprang into action from halfway around the world at some ungodly hour to fix a snafu with one of our activities. Wow. See, that is a compelling pitch.

[Andrew Walsh]

It really is for the industry as a whole and especially for Andrea's. Andrea's. Andrea's business, she says.

[Luke Burbank]

And the best part is that she is a 10. Thank you, Andrea. And I'd be remiss to not thank all three of the business boys. What you do is so important. You can find Andrea at at a Carter travels.com so there you go. A A hearty endorsement for our friend Andrea from Fellow 10 who's used the services and very much enjoyed them.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so cool. Is there anything more TBTL 10ish than that?

[Luke Burbank]

No.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Love it. Love it. And I love the idea too, of like Andrea, like waking up in the middle of the night to fix something in Japan for Danielle. Just because the tension, whether or not there's a business relationship, we're always taking care of each other. That's right. So this is really awesome. Thanks, Danielle. We really appreciate you and could not do this without you. Maestro, on your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark. Get set, get set. Now. Ready, Ready. Go. Everybody rattle daddle.

[Luke Burbank]

We also got to thank Aaron Hicks. Aaron rhymes with bear in and Hicks rhymes with kicks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, I want to make sure that it's clear. Not Baron, like a barren desert, but a bear. No, inside of something.

[Luke Burbank]

Bear and not barren, like the troublingly tall son of the president.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, sure, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Bear in Aaron Hicks, as in Baron, kicks in Renton, Washington. Aaron says I've been an avid listener of TBTL since the radio days. It's now my afternoon pickup to get through the workday. 2026 has a lot of big things happening. Celebrating 50 years. Hey, Aaron. I know what that's like. The Seahawks won the well, I will know what it's like soon. The Seahawks won the super bowl in their 50th season. The Mariners will break the curse and not only make their first World Series appearance, but also win in their 50th season. Luke and Andrew celebrate their 50th birthday, and I do as well. I'm not sure I have completely accepted that age. I enjoy the banter every day and Relate to Luke's stories about growing up in the PNW or listening to Andrew. Promote getting to the airport two hours ahead of time. Looking forward to another year of listening to the tangents that naturally come about and hopefully a top story or two. That's about the number of top stories that we get to per year. Aaron is about two of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I have a question for you. And this is embarrassing. This is embarrassing, but it's a question that I have when I listen to the radio a lot and I hear the Mariners promos for their 25th season. And this is where. I'm sorry, 50th season. I'm already off to a whiz bang start on this conversation. But the Mariners. Yes, season one was 1977. The year is 2026 today. Wouldn't next year be the. Why is next year not the 50th anniversary season?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm so bad with this stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm.

[Luke Burbank]

That I confused. I'm not trying to be unhelpful, but I guess I just trust them on this. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying that my brain starts to melt down when I try to think about this kind of stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

70, I mean, there's just no. So, I mean, if you just go through it, then, you know, 77. You would think that 87 would be 10 years. Right. Like, it was just. It seems like it should be the easiest math because, yeah, eight, you know, we know how tens work. I don't know how a lot of things work, but this job has given me insight on one very specific number, which is. Is 10 and tens.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going to. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like. Right. Because we can just. We can just go by ones if we need to really break it down. 1978 would be year one. And then you just keep going and then. Yeah. So 87 would be year 10. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's what I'm going to fall back on, as I so often do with other things. I feel like a lot of pretty smart people put a lot of thought into this and decided it was going to be this year. And my guess is that they know what they're talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

But numbers about marketing or about numbers. They know what they're talking about. About. Are they striking now because the team is so.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, so you don't think.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. I'm just. I'm just. Hey, man, I'm just.

[Luke Burbank]

Just asking questions.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, for real. I don't have a theory, but, like, the numbers don't Work. Right? Am I insane? Am I this guy?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, you. Whether or not you're trying to launch a theory here, you are. And it actually, it's. I find it somewhat convincing, which is you're not saying that they don't actually understand how tens and decades work. You're saying that they chose to kind of fudge the numbers because there was some competitive advantage or some reason why they wanted to make like basically call this the 50th year. Even though.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because, you know, it was so hot last year. Although that, you know, that the planning for something like this would have started a long time ago, before the Mariners started making a post season run. You know what I mean? Last year, like planning a 50th celebration like this for an organization of this size and, you know, reputation and ties to the CD and everything. They didn't just start planning this in September. Like, oh, we're good now. Let's celebrate 50 next year. So that would make me sound crazy if I were suggesting that, but I don't understand why they're calling it celebrating 50 seasons of Mariners baseball. Yeah, I guess I just don't know how math works. That must.

[Luke Burbank]

But you Are we also. Are we 100 certain that they started in 77? That's a known fact.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought so.

[Luke Burbank]

Because that could, that could explain it too.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good Lord. If that's the whole thing, you know, I didn't even. But my. I was born in 76. And I feel. Yeah, well, let's see.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like I would have remembered that too. I would have associated with my year of birth if I 77 sounds more.

[Andrew Walsh]

Inaugural 1977 season. That's what it says on their 50th Mariners announced 50 season celebration in 2026. So I keep on thinking like, well, then 77 was season one. I keep on trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong here. And this is one of those things where if I really am just this dumb, it's not even math I'm doing myself. I'm giving myself way too much cover by calling it math. It's just simply counting. If I'm this bad at counting and the listeners, they're probably going crazy right now, so maybe I should just end it and we should just go back to what we're here for, which is, you know, thanking our wonderful, dazzling donors.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we can never thank them too much. So let's say that again. Thank you very much for supporting tbtl. We would not be here without you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

This is not much of a top story, Andrew. But it is something that jumped out at me the other day. I was looking at old TikTok as I am want to do, and somebody was filming a live taping of the Smartless podcast. They were filming it on their phone and. And what they were excited about was the fact that there was a special surprise guest on this episode, this live episode of Smartless. And the special surprise guest was actually Jonah Hill, the actor and director. But what jumped out at me was Jason Bateman sitting on stage in front of what I assume is a packed theater of people trying to find his intro for Jonah Hill on his iPhone and not being able to find it. The audio is maybe a slight bit confusing here because again, this is just someone on their iPhone taping Jason Bateman from the audience. And Will Arnett is also kind of chiming in, but it's basically Jason Bateman trying to figure out how to get to the email that he has the Jonah Hill intro on his phone on

[Andrew Walsh]

both sides of the podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

Since we started this stupid thing. It starts with, that's. That's Will Arnett. And Jason Bateman is just looking perplexedly at his. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, they're the questions. Wait, there they were.

[Andrew Walsh]

How did I just touch it?

[Luke Burbank]

And it went away. It was a PDF and then this guy. So now he's just winging his intro to Jonah Hill because he cannot find it in his phone.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm an actor.

[Luke Burbank]

This is supposed to be written for me. And then I see. I know I'm in deep sweat right now. This is a fella. I think he's one of the greatest comedic actors we have, full stop. He doesn't just make you laugh, he makes you cry sometimes. All the phones are up.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's going on?

[Luke Burbank]

This guy's a big shot. He's also writes and directs movies. Done a few of those. You know him from forgetting Sarah Martin, knocked up 40 year old virgin. Super bad Moneyball Wolf of Wall Street, Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Joe. Now, I think, you know, Jason Bateman sort of handled that pretty well. You know, everyone there, I'm sure, had a great night. That show is so much more popular than ours and so much more profitable. But could you imagine, Andrew, could you imagine you and I doing a TBTL live event where some important material we needed was on one of our phones? I mean, that to me is. That's amateurish, you know, I cannot believe that for all of the, you know, again, all the profitability of the Smartless podcast, all of the People in attendance, the popularity of the show. That. This. That, to me, what that feels like is someone who is an actor. And we've. You and I have been saying off air to each other, a very fine actor who's great in DTF St. Louis. Don't get me wrong, I am a big Jason Bateman, Stan. But that, to me, that feels like someone who is a professional actor and only moderately cares about the podcast that he's one of the hosts of.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you could do me a favor, please don't mention DTF St. Louis on the show, because I finished watching it this weekend and I cannot talk about it without getting choked up. It is that last episode. There are some scenes in that last episode that are just so. Yeah, I was texting some folks about it, just like, it's that show. I feel like they really, really stuck the landing. And.

[Luke Burbank]

And by the way, in that final episode, Jason Bateman's acting just really good. Phenomenal. Phenomenal stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I said maybe we had that little. I think this is when we had, like, kind of a pre. TBTL before we started recording the other day, and we just did a whole Thunderboys.

[Luke Burbank]

We did an unrecorded Thunder Boys.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And Genevieve wants clarification that she's encouraging you and I to do a Thunderboys podcast. And then if we don't do it, then she will do it with me as a backup. She just wants to.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like us doing that podcast ends with us shirtless

[Andrew Walsh]

somewhere hugging. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trying to be vague here. I don't want to give.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. I almost. I almost. I almost riffed with you there. Then I was like, wait, I wanted to. If you like Stephen Conrad, if you liked Patriot, if you trust that show might not be for everybody, but if you think it might be for you, give it a shot. I think that it's good throughout. It's a short season. It's seven episodes long, but, boy, did it wreck me. Genevieve was out on Friday or maybe Saturday, and I think it was Saturday night. And so we're always, like, trying to hand off dog duties, puppy duties, making sure that somebody's home or whatever. So I was like, okay, yeah, so I stayed home. And. And I can't just come downstairs and play darts or whatever because we stay upstairs with the puppy. And so anyway, I was just. I'm like, oh, good. This is good opportunity. I'll finish watching this. And it was one of those shows where I got done watching the final episode, and I just sat for a while. I Just sat there. It's like, I don't know what to do. It left me. And again, it was very, very good. But it just deals with some pretty. I mean. Well, as I said to a friend of ours, you knew it was gonna be super sad. Well, because you learn in the first episode that a death is gonna be involved. Like it's all in flashbacks anyway, so. I know that. But like, I was. This is gonna sound like. I'm trying to be overly philosophical here, but why, when you're talking about stories like this and I'm thinking about books as well as movies and TV shows, why are the shows or why are the stories that show the most beauty, why do you know that they're gonna destroy you? Why are the shows that are the most beautiful inevitably going to be the most sad? You know?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I guess it's because, you know,

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it's like when Lightning McQueen breaks down in the Pixar Disney animated movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, more rascal. Wait, more rascal.

[Luke Burbank]

You do I need those flats a little more rascally.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was too sharp there anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

With you. I'm with you. Like that. That particular. Again, it's hard to talk about it without. We definitely don't want to spoil anything for anyone who is thinking of watching it, but it. I'll just say, as a couple of guys who are the age that we are, I feel like that show be hitting. Yeah. About, you know, male. I can say friendship. Male loneliness. Right. Like, that's not giving too much away. I think that's pretty obvious. And things. Yeah, it's a. It's a really. And you were saying this before you'd seen the final episode, but I think it's even more true. And this isn't spoiling anything. One of the things that's so amazing about the show is that no one is just one thing. No one is just one kind of person, you know, and that's a really. That's. That's a really charming thing about the show. And also, that's also how real life is, you know, And. But it just. It kept me constantly fascinated by the show because the characters were shifting between episodes of what I thought I knew about them or what I thought their. Their sort of job on the show was. They were going to be. That's the mean one or that's the one who knows how to solve the mystery, et cetera. But yeah, no, it was a really, really, really well done show.

[Andrew Walsh]

In fact, I'll even as one last comment on this. If you're somebody who you're not sure if you're into it. And you. And I will say this too, like the story. This is gonna sound silly. Like the story very much involves the phallus, like, very literally. I don't mean that figuratively, I mean literally. And so if that's something that's gonna turn you off or you're thinking, oh, baby, I'll sit down with the kids and watch this, maybe that's not one for the whole family to watch together. But it's not cheap laughs, it's not gross, it's not cheap laughs, it's not dick jokes. You like. It turns out there's a reason for it. But also if you sit down and you watch, because the reason I'm being a little protective here is Genevieve sat down to watch it and didn't even make it through the first episode. Now, she didn't realize it was a Steven Conrad thing, that it came from the same mind that brought us Patriot, which is something that you and I did a whole podcast about and I love. And Genevieve likes Patriot a great deal. She's not as obsessed with it as we are. But all that is to say, Genevieve kind of didn't know the DNA of the show. She sat down to watch it and she didn't make it through the first episode, the first time. Because most of the characters are not super likable in episode one. Not all of them, but most of them are not super likable. And you might just be like, you know what? Because I am like this, I am sick of shows where nobody's likable. They usually take place in LA, not St. Louis. But there was, I think, especially in the mid 2000s, there was just a whole slate of shows that took place of just selfish people in LA living selfish lives, sort of, you know what I mean? Very self interested lives, I think of. I mean, maybe I'm painting myself in the corner. I definitely think of Transparent being a big part of that. There was actually one with Will Arnett that you're just talking about that is, I think, called I love LA or I love California or something like that. It's just kind of like shallow people. And so you might start watching DTF St. Louis and just think like, I don't like these people, but like, it's the kind of storytelling I like a lot. Because as more and more is revealed, you just, just Nobody is one thing. People contain multitudes. And you get more context for everybody's journey on this show. And it doesn't absolve, it doesn't absolve anybody's negative traits, but it also gives you so much more context. And it's just, I don't know, again, you're talking to, or you're listening to a guy blab and who's like a 50 year old white guy who has male friendships and whatever. Maybe it just hits for us at this time of life a certain way that it's maybe not quite as universal, but I do think that, like, the storytelling is pretty unassailable.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's one of the few shows where Genevieve yells at the tv. I do care about your dad.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you have any voicemail? Here I go once again with the email. Every week. I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, Any emails or vmails?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yes, this is a perfect, perfect little voicemail right here. I don't think the listener left their name, but you and I got into a conversation about Kumon recently because comedian Chris Fleming. Chris Fleming, not Christopher. Right. Sorry, Chris. Doubted myself. Chris Fleming, we were talking about him. He's got this really funny stand up piece that our friend from a special that our friend Kat actually directed on Peacock. And it's. What is it called? It's called people with Hipster hats raising kids or something. Or people with flat rimmed Hats Raising kids.

[Luke Burbank]

Wide brimmed hats.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wide brimmed hats. That's what it is. Exactly. Just sort of a farcical look at modern parenthood from a certain sort of hipster set and how those kids tend to behave in public. And one of the jokes is the parent saying to the kid, do you want to go to Kumon later? Which I always found confusing because I didn't know. Is Kumon a, a reward for kids? I always thought of it as a learning center. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I wouldn't think of it as a reward.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. So I'm not even sure I fully understand Chris's reference there. It's just maybe a funny thing to say. It makes me laugh. And you also mentioned that Kumon has that really strange logo that.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's a strange logo because it portrays what looks like a sort of confused child. And I mean, I guess that's the before pick. Right. They're like, if you know your child is feeling this way. Well, the O in Kumon is a child.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like a very kind of rudimentary drawing of a kid that looks confused, I guess.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it looks like a child's drawing too. Right. It's like very. Yeah, very. Kind of where you.

[Luke Burbank]

Whereas you would. I guess that what their thought is is like if. If your kid is kind of having a tough time at school and they look like this, bring them in. Versus. Hey, your kid is like, you know, we're not seeing the after photo, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

So here is a listener, and I don't think they left their name with some answers for us.

[Listener]

Hey, dummies, I'm time banditing and listening to you talk about Kumon. My daughter actually does Kumon, and it's a math and reading program that's a supplement outside of your normal school activities. And it's especially helpful if you're doing the new math thing, which is all word problems. This is more like old school rote memorization. But anyhow, it's helpful. And in regards to the logo, I believe the logo is actually created by the Kumon founder's child. And that is why it looks kind of janky and weird. And it's supposed to represent the thinking and the moment before you have the aha when you figure something out. Anyhow, maybe I already talked about this. I'm about three weeks behind, but hope that clears it up. If you didn't have a great day.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that's. That is a. That is my fact checking, cuz right there. I find that interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you think if I said the words Kuma Nyleen, that could be a show title?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it could be. What did I. I slotted something in earlier, but I don't know that I was married to.

[Luke Burbank]

Come on, Eileen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I. Yeah, no, that's probably better.

[Luke Burbank]

I put this moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think we said it. I just put where there's a will, there's a ways because of you.

[Luke Burbank]

I like that too. You know what? Maybe, you know, maybe that's better than Kuman. Eileen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's see. Let's see how we feel at the. At the end of the show. Hey, speaking of the end of the show, Luke, how do you feel? I didn't give myself enough time.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, that's gonna. That's gonna do it for today's late breaking episode.

[Andrew Walsh]

Welcome home. Welcome home.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you for your. Thank you for your patience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, sure. No, honestly, honestly, it was. It was no problem.

[Luke Burbank]

You know that we're gonna be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you, so please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday, everybody. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.