#4716 A Man Of A Certain Gravy

Summary

TBTL #4716 “A Man Of A Certain Gravy” — April 29, 2026

Episode Overview On this sunny Wednesday episode of Too Beautiful To Live (TBTL), hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh dive into the kind of “important topics” the show is known for: mysterious mailings, the strange appeal of gravy, stories of childhood punishment, and a passel of quirky listener voicemails. The episode’s unifying thread is a playful unboxing of the “Seattle Gravy Suckers Club” membership kit, sparking nostalgia, family tales, and meditations on adulthood, shame eating, and community hijinks.

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1. Opening Banter & The Gravy Suckers Club Mystery

[00:00–15:16]

• The show opens with signature TBTL goofiness—Andrew’s day isn’t going well, but the playful mood is set by riffing on panini sandwiches and country-shaped footwear.
• Luke announces the lineup: "Today is going to be one of those days where we...clear out some voicemails." ([01:59])
• The main early focus: Andrew has received a mysterious envelope in the P.O. box that looks like “Publishers Clearing House” junk mail but contains a plastic “Seattle Gravy Suckers Club” membership card.
  • Description of contents:
    • Envelope with brown “gravy” waves and a card inside displaying three people sipping from a gravy vat.
    • Card includes TBTL’s name and boasts a 10-year expiration.
    • Letter features over-the-top, Tim & Eric-esque copy: “We all make our fave gravy, dump them all in the tub, suck it gone as fast as we can.”
    • Club rules listed on the back: Only fresh ingredients, “Only suck what you can handle,” “No spitting up,” “Good attitude only,” and “No atheists.” ([12:21])
  • Luke and Andrew debate the card’s origins—custom prank from a listener or part of an online service that lets you ship joke club kits around the country (“I think the Gravy Suckers, that's a real organization…they're inviting us…” — Luke, [09:34]; “I don't agree with that. I think this is a spoof.” — Andrew, [09:49]).
  • Discovery via Reddit: There are regional ‘Gravy Suckers Clubs’—it’s a viral gag, not just for TBTL.
• Running gag about custody of the card: “If there's only one gravy sucking card, we need to work out some kind of a shared custody situation.” — Luke ([08:43])

Notable Quotes

• Andrew: “I'll put it in my wallet. Take it out of your Velcro wallet. Just when you're...not getting respect...do you realize...you're talking to a member of the Seattle Gravy Suckers Club?” ([14:26])

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2. Gravy Nostalgia & Family Road Trip Drama

[15:16–23:53]

• Andrew shares a legendary “picky eater” childhood story, the Walsh family “gravy incident”:
  • On a late, stressful road trip, young Andrew is served unwanted gravy and his weary father threatens, “You will eat it or wear it.”
  • The outburst becomes family lore, and Andrew reflects on childhood pickiness, evolving tastes, and understanding parental stress as an adult.
  • “The irony here, Luke, is I have grown up to be, first of all, a member of the gravy.” — Andrew ([21:19])
• Luke and Andrew riff on the strange adult taste for gravy and swap war stories of road-trip punishments and discipline.

Notable Quotes

• Luke: “You're a man of a certain gravy.” — ([21:44])
• Andrew: “I am a man of a certain gravy.” — ([21:46])

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3. Corporal Punishment: Memories, Meta-Reflections, and Culture

[23:53–33:53]

• Extended, candid exchange on childhood corporal punishment: family practices, school paddleings, the emotional calculus of waiting for a spanking (“the waiting is the worst part”), and how humor, negotiation, and stalling become forms of survival (“That's when I knew I had really been successful in my project…” — Luke, [27:00]).
• Cultural throwbacks: school paddles, vintage TV commercials (Charmin's “kids stuffing toilet paper down their pants”), and the generational shift in childrearing attitudes.
• Both hosts probe how family discipline, shame, and odd coping skills shaped their adult personalities and career trajectories (notably, being talkers/raconteurs).

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4. Dazzling Donors & the Community Calendar

[34:00–40:02]

• Formal break to thank “dazzling donors.” Key highlights:
  • Ian Seifelt (Superior, WI): Invites fellow “Tens” to a June 13th meet-up at Ursa Minor Brewing in Duluth ([34:43]).
  • Luke speculates about Duluth as a climate change “refuge” and apocalypse destination.
  • Danielle & Chris Greenawalt (Philadelphia): A family update, shout-outs for their kids, Dashiell & Chloe, and a plug for Chris’s architecture firm, BunkerWorkshop.com. The hosts effuse over gorgeous kitchen photos and interior designs ([37:56]).
  • Philly sports digression: Eagles and Phillies news.

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5. Listener Voicemails: Park Mysteries, Filet-o-Fish Hacks, & Phone Hijinks

[40:02–57:42]

• Voicemail 1 – April in Edmonds: ([42:09])
  • Clarifies that Andrew’s “fanciest houses” drive-through was in wealthy Woodway, not technically Edmonds.
  • Shares her first Gasworks Park experience: After a cross-country charity bike ride, she arrives in Seattle, hits Gasworks on a perfect day, and the Blue Angels fly overhead. Ethereal PNW gateway drug moment.
  • “Seattle is just, you know, doing the things Seattle does in the summer. And then the Blue Angels flew over our heads as we're, like, taking pictures…” — April ([44:24])
  • The hosts revisit how summer visits seduce people into moving to Seattle and riff on the magic and dangers of Lake Union seaplanes ([45:16–46:17]).
  • Detour: Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia opening, Ricky Jay, and movie nostalgia.
• Voicemail 2 – Melissa at U. Delaware Law: ([49:41])
  • Too much TBTL-content in one day to “keep inside.”
  • Power move: Orders a double Filet-o-Fish at McDonald’s to improve fish-to-bun ratio, paired with quiet “shame eating.”
  • Andrew and Luke discuss their own bun/meat preferences and the psychology of secretive fast-food feasts.
  • In a “TBTL moment,” returns a lost phone she finds on the bus, setting up an “elaborate plan” to get it back to its owner—mirroring a recent TBTL story arc.
  • “Now I can go to class and I don't have to have all of this TBTL stuff bottled up inside...” — Melissa ([57:38])

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6. Jury Duty, Law Enforcement Listener Mail, and Closing Musings

[57:59–End]

• Andrew updates on his impeding jury duty summons: he’s nervous, filled out a rigorous (and very confusingly formatted) questionnaire including TBTL and KUOW affiliations, and is awaiting a Zoom voir dire.
  • Reflects on the responsibility and the strangely last-minute system: “You may or may not have to do jury selection on Thursday. If you don't hear from us, don't worry about it, but you might hear from us 30 seconds before…” ([60:22])
  • Expresses ambivalence between obligation to civic duty and his own wish to be dismissed.
  • Considerations about how much he can share on the podcast if selected.
• Brief, thoughtful discussion on policing, spurred by a listener note from a police officer, about systemic problems vs. individual good officers ([64:07–65:46]).
  • “I really do not want...to feel like they are unfairly targeted by things I say.” — Andrew ([65:44])
• Final riff: If Andrew is outed as a “gravy suckers club” member during voir dire, he’s sure to be dismissed: “Did you drop that laminated gravy sucker's card in the lobby of the courthouse?” — Luke ([66:32])

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You're a man of a certain gravy.” —Luke ([21:44])
• “I started to associate having long, aimless conversations with success. So here we are.” —Luke ([27:35])
• “We all make our fave gravy, dump them all in the tub, suck it gone as fast as we can.” — Seattle Gravy Suckers Club card ([07:06])
• “You will eat it or wear it.” —Bob Walsh, via Andrew ([20:24])
• “Shame eating...is a very specific, specific term. And, again, I understand, I'm not going to say it to somebody else. And to me, it doesn't have to do with your body, your health or judgy. We all have...I was doing some shame eating in the car the other day.” —Andrew ([53:28])
• “No atheists.” (Gravy Suckers Club rules, [12:21])

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• [00:00–15:16] Gravy Suckers Club unboxing & mail mystery
• [15:16–23:53] Childhood gravy story; “Eat it or wear it” legend
• [23:53–33:53] Corporal punishment, school spankings, generational shifts
• [34:00–40:02] Dazzling Donors & Community Calendar shout-outs
• [40:02–57:42] Voicemails: Woodway mansions, Gasworks Park, McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish, returning a lost phone
• [57:59–End] Jury duty preview, policing reflections, closing hilarity

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Tone & Atmosphere

Laid-back, goofy, self-aware, and nostalgic—classic TBTL. The episode pivots easily from absurd mail humor to vulnerable childhood reflections, all with a trademark mix of irony and sincerity. The rapport between Luke and Andrew remains at the heart, as they swerve from community in-jokes to thoughtful musing, always returning to bits, banter, and the practical realities of being “men of a certain gravy.”

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Summary in a Sentence:
TBTL’s latest episode rides a wave of absurd mail, gravy-fueled nostalgia, childhood and adult anxieties, and sweet listener connections—all with side helpings of shame eating, jury duty, and the secret pride of being a “Seattle Gravy Sucker.”

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

How you doing there, dude?

[Andrew Welsh]

Not too good, man. One of those days, huh?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, a wiser fellow than myself once said, sometimes you eat the bar and what you bud, sometimes the bar will eat you.

[Luke Burbank]

That some kind of Eastern thing?

[Andrew Welsh]

Far from it. Tbtl. Have you ever bought a panini at a restaurant?

[Luke Burbank]

What's a panini?

[Andrew Welsh]

A panini's a sandwich.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, then why did you call it a panini?

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, panini is Italian, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

What's Italian?

[Andrew Welsh]

That's a country in Europe. It looks like a boot.

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of shaded like a cowboy boot.

[Andrew Welsh]

If I were you, I wouldn't focus

[Luke Burbank]

on what he's saying, but more the

[Genevieve]

fact that he's saying something.

[Luke Burbank]

Hello, Town jubilation committee. I got something that's gonna make you

[Andrew Welsh]

a lot less jubilant. I just might have tacos tonight.

[Genevieve]

It's in material.

[Luke Burbank]

This party is gonna be off the hook. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Welsh]

Don't miss the sausage fest.

[Luke Burbank]

My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

[Genevieve]

You paint your bald spot?

[Andrew Welsh]

What bald spot?

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we're looking at a beautiful, sunny Wednesday in the making. Oh, Ma.

[Andrew Welsh]

Pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful. And we've got a great show in store for you as well. It's episode 4716 in a collector's series,

[April]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

And we've got a voicemail line. As many of you know, it's 206414TBTL and in fact, people even call into that voicemail line and leave us messages. And. And we even sometimes listen to those voicemails and collect them and play them on the air. And today is going to be one of those days where we.

[Andrew Welsh]

I'm trying to use the phones.

[Luke Burbank]

We work our way through a number, as many as usually we get to about one to one and a half. So we'll try to do that today. We'll try to clear out some voicemails. All of that with the help of this guy. He's actually the keeper of the voicemails, the keeper of the flame, also known as the longest running cobra of the show, possibly best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is Andrew Welsh, and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Welsh]

Good morning, Luke. I'm holding something in my hand right here that I need to talk to you about.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Welsh]

Okay. I went to. I'M just trying to think about how to lay this all out, because I'm confused. I'm excited.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you been doing BDSM again?

[Andrew Welsh]

I have. I went to Boxes, mail delivery, stamps. I went to the post office today to see if I finally got my Midwest Excellence shirt. I think it might have gotten lost in the mail. I have not received a my.

[Luke Burbank]

I love my Midwest Excellence shirt.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, I'm a little bit jealous, but that is okay. That, of course, everybody should support the fabulously new and newly fabulous MM newsletter called Midwest Excellence, produced by our.

[Luke Burbank]

I get mine on Ghost.

[Andrew Welsh]

That's. That's right. I put you on Ghost. It's written daily by our friend the Stubbot. And for real, Google that. Check it out. Sign up every single day. It appears in your inbox in the early morning hours, and it's always a delight. He's the best. One of the best writers I know. I'm sorry for it. Sorry to caveat that I started to say the best writer I know, and then I backed away and said, one of the best writers. That was rude. I didn't mean to be rude. What harm would it have done to just say the best? Why did I do that to stuff?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we got to keep him humble. His Minnesota Twins have been on fire lately. His Timberwolves are winning. He's, you know, he's got this hit newsletter.

[Andrew Welsh]

He's had it too good for too long is what you're saying.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm saying we got to kind of bring him back down to earth.

[Andrew Welsh]

Exactly. All right. No, so sorry, I'm stalling here because I really. I kind of want. I'm excited about the reveal here, but I also have a little. So many questions you have in your hands. I went to the P.O. box at. the post office today, and, you know, why the hell not? Let's just do. This is my box. This is my box. I never trouble without my box. What's in the box? In the first draw, I keep my magic stones.

[Luke Burbank]

What's in the box?

[Andrew Welsh]

Licorice. Licorice. Black, sweet licorice. Black, sweet licorice. Have some. There were two things in the box for me today, Luke. One was a giant box, actually. Was it actually a little note from the postal workers saying you have to come to the front desk because we have a giant box for you from PETA. Apparently, my gifts for Lucy the puppy have shown up. Exactly. Thank you, Wes. I haven't opened it yet. I'm going to open it with Genevieve when she gets home from the vet. With. With said Lucy here in a little bit. But thank you for that. I'm sure I will be very excited about the delights that we find inside. But other than that, there was only a single envelope in the P.O. box, Luke. And it looked at first glance like it was just some sort of a mass mailing of some sort, you know, like what one would call maybe junk mail or, you know, advertising or something like that. I'm just going to hold this up to the camera for you, just very briefly. Just give me your reaction for me. What does it look like without reading? It just kind of looks like.

[Luke Burbank]

It kind of looks like maybe one of those Publishers Clearinghouse type of deals.

[Andrew Welsh]

It's an envelope that has a big cellophane window so you can see what is inside it. And you can see the writing that's on the front of the letterhead that's in there, or whatever the letter that's in there. And it also has. We were talking about this. We were reminiscing about this on the show somewhat recently. When we were kids, our parents would get credit card advertisements essentially through the mail, where in the envelope was a fake credit card. It was plastic, just like a real credit card. It seemed like a real credit card, but it was just a promotional gimmick. And then our parents would give us those, and then we could learn about capitalism at an early age as we played with our Teddy Be. Exactly. And that is exactly why Fleegle the Beagle was in so much debt by the time he graduated from college. And so what we see through the window of this envelope is one of those fake cards, almost like if AAA were to send you, like, hey, don't forget to sign up for aaa. We already have your card ready for you. Right. And I'm gonna now hold this closer to the screen so you can actually see what is written on this envelope. We're going to start with. Can you read? Welcome to the club says welcome to the club. And then it has our address, our P.O. box there. It says, Too beautiful to live, P.O. box 33687, Seattle, Washington, 98133. It says, we can't wait to do this with you, too, is what it says in sort of promotional writing there. And then when you scan over and you see the card that they've sent us. Yeah, you can.

[Luke Burbank]

Seattle Gravy Suckers Club.

[Andrew Welsh]

It is a card for the Seattle Gravy Suckers Club. Now, this entire envelope on a family program, I don't know. And the whole envelope, like the envelope itself is sort of stylized. There's some like brown waves around the border of the envelope. It's not even a plain white envelope. Like it's been dipped in gravy. And then on the card itself is a photo that you can see there of three people holding big fat straws into what appears to be a vat of gravy. This is the image.

[Luke Burbank]

Seriously, Tim and Eric. Awesome show energy.

[Andrew Welsh]

Very Tim and Eric. Y And if you look at the card, it says, Seattle Gravy Suckers Club. We all make our fave gravy, dump them all in the tub, suck it, gone as fast as we can. And it says it's what we love doing. But then they've actually already put our name too beautiful to live on the card itself, as if it's like again, like triple A might send me something that says Andrew Walsh on it. And then it says expires on April 1, 2036. So it's about a 10 year subscription. We have a subscription number on it. And even in the top corner, the return address, they've created a sticker that says Seattle Gravy Suckers Club. And then the. The return address with like a gravy boat on it, which I'm not going to read the address. I'm showing it to you. I have open.

[Luke Burbank]

We don't want anyone doxing the gravy suckers.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, I don't know if this. But what. I have not opened this yet. I'm going to open it right now. But can I ask you a question?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

What the hell do you think is going on here?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's going to be a card that entitles you to free gravy in the Seattle area. And honestly, I'm jealous. I'm very. If there's only one gravy sucking card, we need to work out some kind of a shared custody situation. Okay.

[Andrew Welsh]

It might even. I mean, maybe there. I mean it might work for both of us. I don't know if you'll get your own in the mail, but the nothing like soup as I'm going to open this here. What it appears to be. Here's my question for you. Do you think that somebody has made a bunch of these for their friends and family as a joke and they have now included us on their mailing list? Or is this just a listener who is really trying to get our attention with this? Tim. And like, is this. I mean, it's clearly bespoke. It's got our. The name of the podcast Printed on it in a couple of different places. There's no handwriting on this. This is all. This is all, you know, like, printed professionally.

[Luke Burbank]

I think the Gravy Suckers, that's a real organization. That's a real group of people and that somebody who listens to our show is part of. And they're extending an invite. They're inviting us, I hope, all of us hope, not just you, to be part of the Gravy Sucking Club.

[Andrew Welsh]

I don't agree with that. I think this is a spoof. I've now opened it further. It says, we don't let just anyone in. We considered many factors, including the gravy recipe you sent in, your physical appearance and religious beliefs. We meet here on the 12th of of each month at 6pm and then it's that same address again. It says, you will be provided a tube. And I see a tube that they're all sucking gravy through. It says, please ensure your gravy arrives. And then in bold, warm. The gravy must be warm. And again we have.

[Luke Burbank]

It's byog.

[Andrew Welsh]

It's byog. You bring your own gravy, you add it to the pot. And then I don't know if you can see this other photo here as I hold it up, of these members of the club enjoying their gravy and then giving us a thumbs up. It is very. Tim and Eric. I'm very impressed with all this production. Now, there's one thing I haven't told you about this that I now feel bad about. One day, I'm going to say about a month ago, I was at the post office, maybe a little bit more than that. And I was getting, you know, the usual packages and what have you. And there was another curious envelope like this. And I didn't talk about it on the show. I read it, I looked at it, I laughed. And then I think. And I'm going through all of my stuff here right now, is doing it right before the show.

[Luke Burbank]

Was it the Mashed Potatoes Suckers Club?

[Andrew Welsh]

It was more. It was like a parody. It was like a. Another iteration of the sort of like, we're no longer enemies, we're best friends meme sort of that was going around way back in the early days of kind of popular Internet stuff. And it was sort of like. And it was very much this Tim and Eric kind of style again. And I think I wasn't exactly sure how to work it on into the show, you know, in. In context. And I sort of thought like, when I saw it, I was like, oh, somebody made a whole bunch of these things as a lark amongst their friends and just threw one our way. But now with this gravy sucking club, and I do think I recognize this return address, which I don't know if I should give it out on the air. It says we meet here on the 12th of each month at 6pm it would seem that this person who very much knows we are a podcast, wants us to give out the address. Should I give it out and you can Google street, view it or whatever?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, you should give it out. By the way, I'm also cross referencing this on Reddit.

[Andrew Welsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm seeing a picture of exactly what you just showed me on Reddit.

[Andrew Welsh]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

So here I'm peeling this card off. I didn't want to ruin the whole thing, but it's not even the crappy cardboard. It's not even the crappy cardboard cards that you get these days. It's actually a plastic.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I know, I'm jealous card.

[Andrew Welsh]

And then on the back it says, club rules. Use only fresh ingredients in your gravy, Only suck what you can handle. No. Spitting up gravy is apolitical. Don't bring politics here. Good attitude only. And it says, no atheists. And then there's another photo of these same three people contributing our gravies into the communal gravy pot. I don't know if that's in focus for you or not there, Luke, but this is not something that was bespokenly created just for tbtl. Huh? This is something that's going on online.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that you can buy this and send it to your friends in different cities. Because I'm looking at one that says Clay Clay Gravy Suckers Club. There's a Philadelphia Gravy Suckers Club, and it's the exact same thing. Like, I think you can go and you can buy this and send it to your friends.

[Andrew Welsh]

I see. So this isn't something that one of our listeners created for us, but they heard about the service and sent it to us. Okay. Is the. Do you see on Reddit the address where they meet is. I'm wondering if it's the same or if this person just put their own personal return address. And that's why I'm being a little bit. That's why I'm sort of thinking maybe I don't give this out on the air. Maybe the person didn't think that I'd be giving out a home address of a listener on the air.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see I don't. I'm looking at the. The one that somebody scanned to Reddit, and it does not seem to have that information on it.

[Andrew Welsh]

I'm looking at this here. It seems to be kind of in the Denny area of Seattle, Washington. It seems to be maybe a resident sbk.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that the former headquarters of sbk?

[Andrew Welsh]

You know what it is? If it's. It's either this. It's either this block of apartment buildings, or they gave me the address of the 76 station next door, which is also very funny, on James street in Seattle. So, anyway, I'm not going to dox anybody. That is. That answers the question, though. So somebody didn't make this for us, but they heard about this online or the service that. Where you can send this to your friends and family.

[Genevieve]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I am still jealous, though, that you have that handsome, you know, laminated card that you can just carry around and.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, I will put it in my wallet.

[Luke Burbank]

Take it out of your Velcro wallet.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes, exactly. With impunity.

[Luke Burbank]

Just when you're. If you're somewhere and you feel like you're not getting the respect you deserve because. Do you realize that you. Right now. Do you know who you're talking to?

[Andrew Welsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You're talking to a member of the Seattle Gravy Suckers Club.

[Andrew Welsh]

It's gonna tap it in front of people.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, well, anyway, I'm gonna need to borrow that for the month of May.

[Andrew Welsh]

Absolutely. Look, look what it says. Does it say Andrew Walsh on there? Lu.

[Luke Burbank]

That says too beautiful to live?

[Andrew Welsh]

I think that's too beautiful.

[Luke Burbank]

And me and John get to share it.

[Andrew Welsh]

Absolutely. And I would include any listener who needs to borrow this. Just get at me and you know. You know where I live. I live under.

[Luke Burbank]

We'll make a. You know what? We'll make a count. We'll make a Google Doc where everyone can check out the Gravy Suckers card.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good.

[Luke Burbank]

For a couple of days here and there, if you need it for, you know, I don't know, whatever you might need it for.

[Andrew Welsh]

What kind of gravy would you bring to the party, by the way? Would you bring, like a light colored. Like a. Like a chicken. What do you call it? A country fried chicken? Breakfast gravy. You know what I'm talking about?

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I actually, I like gravy, and I was doing vegetarian gravy for a while. I got really into mashed potatoes, and it's not as good. I gotta be Honest with you. Vegetarian gravy, you gotta have a little bit of whatever that. Whatever that meat product stuff that's typically in gravy, that's really what makes it good.

[Andrew Welsh]

Do you know that gravy plays a signature role in one of those stories that my family has been retelling for? We don't have a lot of stories like this, but you know me as a bit of a picky eater. When I was a kid, I was a very picky eater. And I think that I kind of got this from my sister. My sister's a little bit older than me, so I think she sort of set the tone for certain things for us kids. And growing up, there were all kinds of things that we didn't really like. Weirdly, I think we did like bananas at first. I think I grew out of bananas, which is a strange thing to do. But it's good though, because bananas. Bananas aren't good for you. But, you know, I've got all kinds of weird things about cheese. I don't eat most cheese presented in most ways or prepared in most ways, with some notable exceptions. Back when I was a kid, I didn't eat tomatoes. I don't think there were just like all kinds of foods we're picky about. And gravy was one of them. Me and my sister did not like gravy. And one time we were on a family road trip, and most of our family road trips I have very pleasant memories of, by the way, we would get in the car or the van that we eventually bought and would drive down south to Florida or something. Sunshine. We had, I mentioned recently we'd go to Mammoth Cave sometimes down on the. On the way down there. Really, really fond memories. But one time we took some road trip up north to like through New York State or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask you a random question about this minivan? Was it the kind of minivan that had blinds?

[Andrew Welsh]

It was not a minivan. It was a full sized van. It was a full size conversion van. And yes, it had. It had blinds you could pull down.

[Genevieve]

Cool.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, very cool. The kind that were like, kind of like very light blinds that make little. They make little diamond shapes when you pull it down. You know, I'm talking about retractable blinds that are like kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, so. And yeah, it was like a conversion van that had a little tiny TV up there. We were so spoiled. I loved it. I would watch the cassette tape I had that I taped the. The pilot episode of Quantum Leap. I would watch it over and over on every road trip.

[Luke Burbank]

But this particular road trip, does he leap into in the pilot episode?

[Andrew Welsh]

Pilot, I don't recall anymore. And it is. I did rewatch it as an adult one time. I would, I would, I don't want to say I would kill because that's illegal, but I would go so far to actually get my hands on. I'm sure it no longer actually physically exists, but a dream of mine would. To get my, to get my hands on that actual tape because it would probably still have the commercials on it and I would love to see what commercials I was watching and whatever 1988 or whenever that was. For this particular road trip I'm talking about though, I'm thinking that we were in a car because I think we're on some road trip that turned miserable for some reason. I don't know if it was a situation like you had yesterday when you're stuck out in traffic because the highway was completely shut down, but I remember it was my mom and my dad, my sister and me, and we were on some road trip through New York and we arrived at our destination, whatever it was super, super late. In fact, I'm wondering if we didn't even arrive at our destination but had to like give up the ghost and stop somewh in some, you know, community just on the way and that, you know, I understand now as a middle aged man how that's frustrating to the father of a, of a road trip and fam. You know, like, oh God, we're now we're behind schedule or whatever. My dad's frustrated over God knows what.

[Luke Burbank]

I know far behind the triptych right now.

[Andrew Welsh]

Exactly, exactly. I guarantee you he had a triptych that was highlighted in various colors. Anyway, we pull off somewhere and I think I was so young that I guess I wasn't really reading the room very well as far as the tension at dinner. I just remember my dad had sort of a cloud over his head. We stop at some restaurant and I think what I got was. And this sounds crazy, right? I think I got Salisbury steak, but I asked for it with no gravy or I just thought, oh, I like Salisbury steak. Because I thought of it as the way it came in the, in the TV dinners we would eat. But I didn't think of it as gravy or whatever. All I know is we're. And we're so hungry. My parents are so crabby. We sit down at this table in some restaurant somewhere and we're really, really Hungry. And then the food comes out, and they sit it, they set it down in front of me, and it's just covered in gravy. And I remember my parents put up with a lot of my picky eating stuff, by the way. You know, I mean, you might even say that they. They allowed too much of it. And that's why the weirdo that I am today, but they put this plate in front of me. And I remember just being a little kid, and I'm so hungry. I get like this as an adult still, you know, when you're so, so hungry, and then you face some sort of disappointment, like the food isn't what you wanted or it's not there or whatever. And you almost get emotional about it, like there's a. There's a hiccup.

[Luke Burbank]

The reaction is outsized.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes. And you're like. And I remember they set it down in front of me and I just said, there's gravy on this. And my dad looked at me in a way that was very not Bob Walshian and said, you will eat it or wear it. My friend is now Walsh family legend. And I think that he probably is embarrassed about that. I don't tell this story to embarrass him. It is a story that we talk about and we have for decades now and laughed about because it was so outside. It was so not how we talked about it. It's not how he raised us. But he just said, you will eat it or you will wear it. And I think that the reason that story stuck so hard is because whatever my face did, indelibly printed on at least my dad, if not the whole family, because I believe I ate it. I mean, the irony here, Luke, is I have grown up to be, first of all, a member of the gravy.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Welsh]

I was gonna point out, yes, I love gravy. Right now, I'm gonna use the hell out of this card. But that phrase, and I think it's one of those things where probably my dad is a bit chagrined by it, but we just laughed about it for so long to hopefully sort of COVID up, probably. Cause he was literally at his worst in that moment.

[Luke Burbank]

Moment.

[Andrew Welsh]

He was literally in his worst in a way that I understand so much better now at age 50 or almost 50, than I did, obviously, when I was 5 or 7 or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

You're a man of a certain gravy.

[Andrew Welsh]

I am a man of a certain gravy.

[Luke Burbank]

I am a man of certain gravy.

[Andrew Welsh]

Ry Cooter produced that, I believe I'm

[Luke Burbank]

more of a Rascal Flats version guy myself. I'm just imagining you just, like, probably trying to hold back some tears.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Just like eating. Just like. Just because, like, honestly, what kids like gravy?

[Andrew Welsh]

Is it outside the. Is it like an adult food?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. Maybe it's. Maybe it's, you know, kid by kid basis. I don't think I really liked it as a. I think I thought it was kind of weird or something. But, like, just imagining you just, like, trying to kind of scrape it off this Salisbury steak.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Trying to kind of de Gravy the thing and eating it and just being, like, holding back tears. I mean, mine were not gravy related, but I've had moments like that. You know, I once. This is. Well, you know, I grew. I grew up in a home where there was corporal punishment. But what I will say about it was, it was, generally speaking, pretty. Pretty. What's the word I'm looking for? Like. Like, my dad was pretty careful around spanking us. You know, we didn't get spanked a lot. And when we did, it would be the kind of thing where he would say, you know, okay, go wait in my room. And I'd go wait in my mom and dad's room. And then he would wait until he wasn't mad. Like, he knew you never spank a kid. I mean, I would say don't ever spank a kid, but in those days, like, don't spank a kid when you're upset about whatever it is that they're getting punished for. And so. But I remember, and. But when we. On these road trips, you know, we had big family and just. Things would. All hell would break loose and somehow, you know, we're on each other's nerves. Me and my sisters are all, like, in the back of this Ford Econoline van, sitting on a futon unseat belted. I don't know what it. What had gone down, but somehow I was in trouble and I was going to get spanked. And I remember this might have been the last time my dad tried to spank me because, A, we were at a rest stop.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, God.

[Luke Burbank]

And B, I was. I was that age where it's like, I might actually change. Exactly. I had my driver's license.

[Andrew Welsh]

You actually took the next turn at the wheel.

[Luke Burbank]

I did.

[Andrew Welsh]

I did, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I just remember, like, there being a scenario where it was like, I was about to get spanked and I just thought, I'm not having this. And I remember I just sprinted away from the family van into the woods of the rest stop and hid. And they couldn't find me. And I could tell that, like, my dad was like, well, we're just leaving. My mom was like, don't leave. He was like, well, we're just gonna have to leave. And I was like, in the woods, taking this all in.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing about it. Like, we had corporal punishment in my house, too. And I would be a little bit careful about what I say here because I don't want to paint my appearance monsters. But I do remember, like, that feeling of, like, well, go upstairs and wait and wait, and we're gonna come up and we're gonna spank you. And I said, I wanna. I believe so. My mom's weapon of choice, as it were, was a wooden spoon. And I don't know if you ever had that. And I believe she one time broke the wooden spoon on my sister's behind. Now, I don't know if it's one of those things where there is already a fissure. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Wearing out.

[Andrew Welsh]

I like to think that maybe over the years of beatings, it wasn't occasionally cooking with it. It might have been the way beating. It might have been the way my sister pitched her butt towards the wooden spoon that it just. Right. And it was a broken spoon. Single. But anyway. Yeah, so I. But in a. In, as they say. And again, I. I don't think if my mom were still alive, I don't think that she would probably defend that practice. And I know for a fact that my dad would. Not that he would. I think that he would disavow any spankings like that that we had. But it is almost a cliche for our generation and earlier generations to talk about that moment where they say you go upstairs and you wait for it. And really, the waiting is the worst part. Right. Like, you're just waiting and waiting, and sometimes you're waiting with your pants down. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, as I've said. I think I've said this on TBTL before, but, like, in a weird way, I sort of credit getting spanked with this whole job life that I have. Because what I realized was when my dad finally did come to the bedroom, then the longer I would talk with him before we got down to the spanking, the less intense the spank was going to be. And by the way, that was another thing with him. He would give us one swat or one spanking. He wasn't like, wailing on us or anything. So I was like, Kind of talking for my life, you know, like he'd come sit down and I'd be like, you know, boy, spring came early this year. You know, just like, I'm just like BSing with him. And then we'd have these really nice talks actually, because again, you know, I'm a kid, it's like I'm not sitting around with my dad having long conversations with him all the time. But in this case I was like, we're just talking about this and that and I'm just trying to basically tap dance as long as I can. And I remember a couple of times where we would just have such a nice like hour long conversation just sitting, I'm sitting on their bed and he's sitting next to me on the bed. And then he'd be like, all right, well good talk. And be like, oh right, I do have to give you a spanking. So just turn around. And then he'd give me.

[Andrew Welsh]

Everybody hates this. Everybody involved.

[Luke Burbank]

The mo. It's, yeah, the most half hearted. Tiny. I could barely even feel it swat. Good, good on my not exposed buttocks. That was another thing. We were not an exposed buttocks family, which I'm grateful for. Yes. But it would just be like I, I, that's when I knew I had really been successful in my project, which is when he, he was like, you know what, for the paperwork we gotta, we just have to dot our I's and cross our T's here. I've got to give you this.

[Andrew Welsh]

The very, for the cameras, as they say. Cameras when I show my ID at the pot shop or whatever. Well, just show me one more time for the cameras.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it was basically that. But, but it did get me, I did start to associate having long, aimless conversations with success. So here we are. Andrew.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. I love the fact that you became a raconteur and like, honestly, I think you already were one, which probably really helped in this situation. But like, obviously I'm not encouraging any kind of corporal punishment like this. I actually think it's, it's wrong. I don't think you should do that at all. But also I grew up to be a very well balanced, non anxious person. So, you know, what is the longest term Harm? I don't really see any.

[Luke Burbank]

I, I will say that I think I definitely also, I don't think corporal punishment is a good idea. I don't, I just don't think that we need to hit our kids or anybody for that matter. But I do, I think I'm, it's not a Super. I mean, I'm a no on it, but I'm not like, I think because my parents. My mom never spanked us that. Which was kind of interesting. So my mom was probably way more likely to be raging out than my dad, but for some reason, that was. I remember one time she was trying to spank me with a ruler, but it was like balsa wood. It was like, way too light. We were at the church, giggling, literally. Like, we're at the church and she's trying to. And we're in, like, the pastor's office of Gospel Outreach Christian Fellowship. And for some reason she's trying to spank me with this rule, this, like, ruler. But it was made out of very light material. It was like wood. And it's like the drag on it, the, like, you know, inefficiency.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

The aerodynamics of her were such a. She couldn't get anything going with it. And she's trying to spank me and I'm crawling around. I'm crawling around the floor of this pastor's office, my dad's office. I guess he was probably the pastor at the time. My mom's on her hands and knees chasing me around, trying to spank me with this ruler. I think that was like, the only time I remember her actually spanking this. But I was going to say, like, as far as corporal punishment goes, which, again, I still don't think is a good idea. I. We had a pretty. My parents were pretty. I guess. I guess where you hear me kind of trying to square here is can you be reasonable about corporal punishment? Can you be reasonable, reasonable about a thing that is inherently unreasonable? And I don't know if you can, but I'm grateful that if I had to grow up in a household and in a sort of worldview that involved spanking, I knew a lot of kids had it a lot worse. I was glad that the spanking in our house was sort of in the category. It was because it was relatively untraumatic for me.

[Andrew Welsh]

And it's just also, I don't. I'm not going to retell the stories now because I know I've told the one a couple of times. But, like, this wasn't just an in the home thing. I went to a public school, a public elementary school where we were spanked with paddles. You know what I mean? Like, it was just, like it was the time and the place. And like, I say, no, I don't think that. I mean, it's just. So that's why when we were much Younger. And I was seeing, you know, my friends and they're, you know, at the time, early to mid-20s, raising kids and just like seeing the huge difference in the way people talk to kids and regard kids and bring them into conversations. Not a, like, seen and not heard kind of situation. Being like, wow, these kids are so well adjusted and just like, so great to be around and talk to. You know what I mean? And like that and not just kind of be. I was so scared all the time as a kid. I was. I mean, I think that's probably my personality anyway, I think. But like, I was so bashful and so scared and so. And I still think that there's, you know, a lot of my personality is being afraid to step out of line in a way that doesn't make you the most, like, you know, necessarily. I don't even know the most well adjusted person.

[Luke Burbank]

I went, you know, I went to that Christian school where they spanked, theoretically could have spanked you through your senior year. I remember. I remember getting. Getting spanked in like 8th grade or something, which is insane. We had the vice principal, his name was Hal. I forget his last name, but he was the disciplinarian guy. And I remember that the only time I remember ever getting actually spanked at this school. Which again, just think about like an eighth grader. Like, again, you shouldn't be spanking a first grader, but an eighth grader is like, I probably almost had facial hair, right?

[Andrew Welsh]

I mean, at a certain point, it stops being a punishment and it starts being a kink. And like, at that point, you gotta really, like, kind of figure out, what are we doing?

[Luke Burbank]

Drake. Hal. Drake was the name of this, this BDSM fan. But here was the thing. We had to wear uniforms. Not uniforms. We had to. You know, there's a dress code at the school. We didn't have uniforms, but you had to wear a collared shirt that was tucked in if you were a boy. I think, you know, girls had to wear dresses or whatever. But the one day that you were allowed to not do the dress code was if you were on a team, like one of the school teams, and it was game day. So for some reason on game day you were allowed to wear, like, your game stuff, your uniform and everything. A lot of schools will have you actually wear a suit on game day. You actually get more dressed up. But that was not how we did it. There's. And I remember. So it was a day we had a basketball game. And so I was wearing underwear, probably. I was wearing spandex I wanted to look like Seth Brolight who had red spandex under his shorts. I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. So I was probably wearing spandex, my basketball shorts and then the basketball warm up pants over the shorts. And I want to say some other thing. Maybe I had some. My jersey tucked in and then something over it. I had on so much clothing. And I remember when Hal Drake went to swat me, I was in this outfit. I couldn't feel a thing. It was like Reverse Princess and the Pea.

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, now that I'm remembering it, you want to talk about how ingrained it was in the culture and I guess I'm, you know, this is good. I'm giving my parents a little bit of, a little bit of clearance here. Clarence. But wasn't that the Charmin commercial? Kids stuffing a whole bunch of toilet paper down their pants because they're about to get walloped by their parents.

[Luke Burbank]

Isn't this cute? Our kids are so afraid physical violence.

[Andrew Welsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

They're using our toilet paper for. Was a different time.

[Andrew Welsh]

I mean the thing.

[Luke Burbank]

A more innocent time.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. The thing that bothered me the most about that was the, the, the company that made the toilet paper also made the paddles. And it just sort of seemed like that.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, that's just that kind of vertical integration. It's disgusting. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Welsh]

On your mark.

[Genevieve]

On your mark.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes. Set now. Ready?

[Luke Burbank]

Ready.

[Andrew Welsh]

Go. Everybody rattles dazzle.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating money to the show voluntarily. This is a free service. You don't have to pay anything to listen to the show. But if nobody paid for the show, it's like the gravy suckers club. Yes. If nobody donated, then it wouldn't exist. And, and so we are so thankful and grateful that people have stepped up for all these years and continue to. I'm talking about Ian Seifelt in Superior, Wisconsin.

[Andrew Welsh]

Absolutely. Yes, Ian, a long standing listener and contributor to tbtl. Thank you, Ian.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Ian says fellow tens, please join tens on Saturday, June 13th at 2:00pm Luke,

[Andrew Welsh]

I'm sorry, hold on one second. If we're. I didn't real. If we're getting into community calendar talk

[Luke Burbank]

here,

[Andrew Welsh]

this has been tbtl Community calendar. What do we got going on today, Luke?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, on Saturday, June 13, Andrew, at 2pm at Ursa Miner Brewing in Duluth. Who loves you, baby Minnesota. The Tens are going to be getting Together for a little. A little special time together. Ian says John. I believe he's talking to our colleague John. It's only about two hours, so come on up and say hi. We've had this meeting up for the past and it's nice to meet face to face. Looking forward to seeing everyone. On Saturday, June 13, 2pm, Ursa Miner Brewing in Duluth.

[Andrew Welsh]

I love that. And I love that they have this quite a bit. And that's great.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, absolutely. Duluth. This is what I always say now about Duluth, which is I read an article some number of years ago that said with. With climate change and all these different factors and basically the fact that this earth is going to crumble from our. From all the times that I ask Gemini if Cal Raleigh if I should be mad at Cal Raleigh or not for his hitting. All of that is basically going to ruin the planet. And we're going to be trying to move to places where it's actually not a million degrees and where there's fresh water. And you put all that together. Duluth, Minnesota. It's the placement is the ideal condition for getting through the apocalypse. We'll be meeting in Duluth to ride out The Apocalypse on June 14th at 2:00pm at Ursa Meyer.

[Andrew Welsh]

Anyway, that's really sweet. Thanks for organizing that, guys.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, thanks, Ian. And if you're anywhere near Duluth on the 13th of June, head out there and send us some pictures, won't you? Maestro.

[Andrew Welsh]

On your mark, on your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go. Everybody raise the all.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Danielle and Chris Greenawalt out there in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The 21 5.

[Andrew Welsh]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

Another year, another TBTL full of remodeling stories, travel hijinks and we loved the addition of hot tub cover. Watch as we grow into middle age with you. Every day provides a relatable story from our radio friends. Shout out to our fives who are now tens. Dashiell and Chloe, we are so proud of you both and we love being able to speak to you in drops after trapping you in the car with TPTL for all of your life.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, hope you don't have a eat it or wear it moment.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I don't see that for Danielle and Chris. I think they seem like they're, you know.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Very modern, very evolved. I mean, you name your kid Dashiell. Yeah, after Dashiell Hammond. And you know, this is a family that they're living a life of the mind. Okay. That's what goes on in the Grinewalt household. We are so proud of both of you, we love being able to speak to you in drops after trapping you in the car for tax purposes. We have to mention bunker workshop on the [e-mail]. this is Chris's interior architecture firm.

[Andrew Welsh]

Now.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm clicking on the link right now. I want to get eyes on this bunker. Oh, my gosh. You can. Oh, we looked at this last year.

[Andrew Welsh]

This is good stuff. This is amazing. This is. These.

[Luke Burbank]

This is fancy. And I don't mean that, you know, like, as in it's unattainable. I mean, this is well done.

[Andrew Welsh]

This is incredible.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, really, really amazing. This would go nice in the, in the, the kitchen of those people that you got Lucy from.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes, exactly. Like, this is even nicer. I think this is incredible stuff. I'm scrolling through and the, The. The only. The thing you're hearing in my voice is just. Just rich envy. Oh, my God. Look at these curved built ins. Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it too late for you to redo your basement kitchen project?

[Andrew Welsh]

I do have some questions.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll be reaching out Bunkerworkshop.com, which is Chris's interior architecture firm. I am sure he would love to take on clients in Seattle, if only to return to the place where he started it all. Congrats to our fellow Bird brothers on your super bowl championship. Go Birds. Which includes an eagle coming to us from Danielle and Chris. And I will definitely say that I am. If. If a team that is not the Seahawks are going to. Are going to win the Super Bowl, I happily, happily would have it be the Philadelphia Eagles.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, of course. That's a mutual. And also backup plan. You know, a little shout out to our Philly friends here. Like, I don't know how into baseball you are, but I know the Phillies are struggling. I think that they just. I think they just fired their manager earlier this week. Did not. Did they.

[Luke Burbank]

I know that the Mets fired. No, sorry.

[Andrew Welsh]

The Reds fired Alex.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Welsh]

Alex was gone and now the Phillies and so early in the season.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Well, sending thoughts and prayers, Danielle and Chris, if you are also Phillies fans. But yeah, I could. I could agree to some terms where only the Seahawks or the Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowls going forward, I would agree to those terms. So thank you very much, Danielle and Chris and Dashiell and Chloe for tolerating so much tbtl. And Danielle and Chris for putting so much TBTL into your lives and your family's lives. We. We appreciate you.

[Andrew Welsh]

Here I go once again with the email every week.

[Genevieve]

I hope that it's from a female.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, man, not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, Andrew, you have informed me that we have been building up up a number of voicemails, and we're going to try to at least listen to a couple of them today before we're all done.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, absolutely. And I love all of the benchmarks we have today, by the way. We have Email frenzy or vmail frenzy with the special ACDC remix of Strong Bad. We had Community Calendar. We had what's in the Box. Like, this is a. Are we writing a lot of sonic id?

[Luke Burbank]

A lot of. It's a rich sonic tapestry.

[Andrew Welsh]

Today we're still taking notes on memorable TV detail moments to send to our bosses at American Public Media. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

We should, wherever they may work.

[Andrew Welsh]

Let's write this one down. All right, let's see here. I'm trying to figure. Okay, let's start with this. This is a bit of a stem winder sort of. This is from listener Rach. I'm sorry, listener April in Edmonds. Now, there are two things going on here. The main story here is about her experience at Gasworks park for the very first time, because you and I were talking about Gasworks and what a beautiful park it is here in Seattle, Washington, a couple of weeks ago on the show. I think, though, that is going to add some clarification on something that I saw recently when we picked up our puppy, Lucy. A few weeks ago, we were picking her up at a foster home in Edmonds, Washington, outside of Seattle here. But while V and I were killing some time because we got there too early and we didn't want to seem too eager, you got to play it cool when you're picking up a puppy. We just drove around the area a little bit for about 10 minutes, and we came to this place that had some of the fanciest, richest houses I'd ever seen in the Seattle area, including this area that they kind of encircled, which was like this area that was like some sort of a nature reserve or something. It was kind of fenced off and it said it belonged to the local government or something or some sort of municipality utility or something like that. So anyway, April has some explanation on what it was we saw and also her experience at Gasworks Park.

[April]

Hey, guys, this is April in the Arby's district of Edmonds. You may have already gotten many notes about this, this, but I think, Andrew, the area of Edmonds that you wandered into and found all those big estates and houses behind Gates is actually Woodway, which is actually its own little town. They have their own little town hall

[Andrew Welsh]

Weirdly, but now I'm going to stop this for a second. Have you heard of Woodway, Luke?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Welsh]

Okay, so if I had said Woodway, you would have known what I was talking about. I thought it was Edmonds.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if I knew it was a city. I know the high school is called Edmonds Woodway, one of the high schools up there is called. So I'm familiar with that. And I. But I don't know if I knew that that was its own little city.

[Andrew Welsh]

Okay. And I also would like to say that I did hear from some other listeners who let me know that, including a listener whose name I don't have in front of me right now, but was either emailing or texting me photos from his bike ride. He's like, yes, I know that area well, I live in Edmonds, but I do ride my bike in Woodway because it is so beautiful. And even took a selfie of himself on his bike outside of the house with that tree house that I told you about. I told you I saw a tree house that had like plumbing and electrical and it was just kind of like, you know, in the spirit of childhood tree houses. Right. So anyway, yeah, that's Woodway.

[April]

Some pretty epic housing over there if you're in the market for a ten plus million dollar home. And then just one other thing. As you guys were talking about Gasworks this week, obviously I'm sure everyone has like a epic day at gasworks story, but I thought I would share mine. When I was between my sophomore and junior years of college, I did the this bike trip to raise money for affordable housing with a nonprofit that is now defunct but really cool called Bike and Build. So there were like 30 of us, we biked from Providence, Rhode island to Seattle. So it was like a nine week bike trip. I'm not an athlete, so that was a lot. But I was 20, so I guess you can do those sort of things. That was the first time I'd ever been to Seattle. And so when we got to Seattle, the place that we like arrived as our main destination was Gasworks. And it was a beautiful sunny August day. We like biked to the top of Gasworks Hill, like the hill and Gasworks. And it happened to be also during seafare. So I literally, you know, finished this 3,000 plus mile bike trip. We're obviously like so happy. Think this is crazy. It's a gorgeous day. Like Seattle is just, you know, doing the things Seattle does in the summer. And then the blue angels flew over our heads as we're like taking pictures with our bathroom bicycles held over our heads. And, you know, the next year I moved to Seattle and I've lived here ever since. So I think it's a dangerous gateway drug to living in the city of Seattle. But I will never, ever forget that experience of Gasworks Park. And it is truly a magical place.

[Andrew Welsh]

That is amazing. That is like a super, super concentrated version of a story that you will hear other people say, which is, I visited Seattle in July on a nice day. Exactly. And then we moved here and then we realized that you. That it's not always like a July day here in Seattle. But my goodness, you could not have a better welcome to Seattle moment than that.

[Luke Burbank]

Watching those planes land in Lake Union, which is always amazing to me that hundreds of people a week aren't killed. Stand up paddle boarders. Like, I do not understand how those airplanes are. Just like the plan is. Yeah, I don't know. Just try to land in the part of the lake where you don't see anybody. What if someone's scuba diving? Like, it just feels to like. And again, they've got a system. No, I've never heard of somebody getting hurt from a plane landing on them. But I just find it totally crazy that there is not a dedicated area. They're like, this is where the planes land. People don't go there. That's where the planes are. No, it's just like the pilot's just kind of going, okay, I see that person floating on a raft. I see that person stand up, paddle boarding. That person's canoeing. I'll just kind of go between them and like, it works.

[Andrew Welsh]

You almost described the opening of Magnolia. How well do you remember the opening of Magnolia? I think it's one the of of my favorite openings of a movie ever. And it's very long. It's almost in two seconds.

[Luke Burbank]

Is she singing? Is it Amy Mann singing one?

[Andrew Welsh]

It is.

[Luke Burbank]

Or is it the end of the movie?

[Andrew Welsh]

That is the beginning. But before that, it's such an epic beginning of a movie. You do have this long montage of you're being kind of introduced to characters while Amy Mann's song one is playing. And it's just amazing. One is the loneliest number to really set the song. Well, I do like that is. That's a fair note. That's a fair note. I guess between Amy man and the Rascal Flats. I'm probably going with the Amy man version, but I hear what you're saying. But before that, it begins with like these weird stories that Don't. I still am a little confused now about how they sort of work into the movie other than just like sort of weird magical things sort of happen in life.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's like raining frogs or something, right?

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, that's how it ends. Spoiler alert. And I think it's setting you up for that. I think. But like it tell. It's like. Like it's the narrator. I was just starting to google his voice or his name. The narrator is a guy who appear. His name is Ricky J. You know him, right? Ricky J. The magician and actor. Ricky J. It's his like kind of signature voice, kind of a high pitched voice. And he's narrating. It's like life is like that. Things just happen and then he's like telling these weird stories.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, that's a pretty good Ricky J. We may have found your. We may have really found your impression.

[Andrew Welsh]

Let me see. Ricky James narration opening. Let me see if there's any chance they have it. It's the prologue.

[Luke Burbank]

You have P.T.

[Andrew Welsh]

anderson prologue. It's very long. But yeah, there's a. I want to. I think that he tells several little weird stories, but the one I'm thinking of is where there's a fire, like a fire fighting airplane that comes down and scoops up water, but it accidentally scoops up a scuba diver. Right. This was only a matter of chance. As reported in the Reno Gazette, June of 1983.

[Luke Burbank]

There is the story of a fire, the water that it took to contain

[Andrew Welsh]

the fire, and a scuba diver named Delmer Darien, employee of the.

[Luke Burbank]

He's up in a tree.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Because he was scooped up by one of those big. One of those big firefighting planes and then watered down onto the fire where he got stuck in a tree and looks like he didn't make it.

[Genevieve]

It.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I could see Lawn chair Larry making it into this montage.

[Andrew Welsh]

Exactly. Boy, just hearing that. It's been a long. I think there was a time where I watched that movie like a lot. Like I would watch it over and over. Then I think it wore a little bit thin on me. The. The scenery chewing this of it all. Especially Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise's stuff. T.J. mackie. Yeah. So I kind of. But it's not even him doing his stage thing. It's him. It's at this. At the side of it. Is it. Jason Robards plays his dad, if I'm saying his name right. And him like. And I, I think that I started to get a little bit turned off by the over the top acting in that. But now I kind of want to go back to it. It's the same thing that sort of turned me off of There Will Be Blood, honestly, as well. But we're not here to do that. Do you want to play at least? I know you're in a little bit of a timeline here, but we hear another one more voicemails or at least one more.

[Luke Burbank]

I promise the listeners. One and a half voicemail.

[Andrew Welsh]

Oh, that is true. Half of this, I think. What was the over? Under one and a half. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Welsh]

How about this? Oh, we're playing another long one. This is from. This is from Melissa. And I've slugged it. Fish sandwich and phone on the bus.

[Genevieve]

Hey, guys, it's listener Melissa calling from the law school at the U. Del. And I'm calling because I have had too much PBTL stuff happen to me today to keep it on the inside. So I need to verbalize. The first thing that happened is that I got out of a doctor's appointment this morning, and because I had a feeling I was going to have to fast for labs afterward, I did not eat before it. So when I got out, I drove to McDonald's and I pulled my power move, which is to order a double filet of fish. I just want to let you guys know that is the way to order the filet o fish sandwich is to make it a double because it makes the fish to bread ratio proper. And then I ordered also a bunch.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know about that. Well, listen, I have complained that I think that the problem with the modern hamburger, if you're eating it in a kind of a fancier restaurant, is that sometimes there's too much bun. Like, there's. I don't want. I don't want it to be like twice as much bun as there is hamburger meat or whatever you're eating. So I guess by that theory, then I would agree with what she's saying. I guess I've just never eaten a filet o fish sandwich and so thought, God, I wish there was more of this fish in here.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, that's the thing. I'm not a big filet o fish person. Although I do think that I know from you. You and I, I think, are on different ends of the spectrum. Maybe not like, I don't think either one of us are on the extreme ends, but I know that I grew up in a family where, like, the meat on a burger or a hot dog or whatever it is should way more sort of outweigh the bun. Like, the bun is just there. And I think that. That you like more bun. You've said this specifically about hot dogs before. You're trying to forget about the hot dog inside, whereas I actually like hot dogs. And you're trying to, like, hide the idea of a hot dog inside of a lot of bun. And I. I don't know how what you've said about.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trying to play hide the hot dog. Exactly.

[Andrew Welsh]

Which is.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't like. I like the hand. You know what I think makes a really great hamburger bun, actually, believe it or not, is an English muffin. I had lunch one time. Addy and I took the Staten island ferry from the southern tip of Manhattan out to Staten Island. Then we just got off and walked around and we had lunch in Staten island and I went to some burger place or someplace and they had a burger and they used English muffins as the bun, which seemed weird to me, but it was actually the perfect amount of bun.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, for sure.

[Luke Burbank]

Because I don't like it when a giant loaf of bread with some. With a hamburger patty in the middle of it.

[Andrew Welsh]

I don't know if I've had. I feel like I've had it prepared that way as well, but maybe you've just told that story and I've internalized it because I feel like I can feel the mouthfeel on that. And it sounds. It sounds. That sounds really, really good.

[Luke Burbank]

It was good. It was a fun day.

[Andrew Welsh]

How hungry I am.

[Genevieve]

Okay, some other food. And then I don't know if we call it shame eating on the show or what, but, you know, I'm just like, I'm rolling up to a fast food joint at 10:45 in the morning, ordering a fish sandwich and then eating it under the COVID of privacy. So obviously, obviously I was thinking of you guys, by the way.

[Andrew Welsh]

I just want to say, I mean, yes, I know that some people. People don't like the term shame eating. So we used to have, like, what's your favorite shame eating? Is it too early to get a fish sandwich? You know, question on the questionnaire of the 10 of the week or what have you. And I think we changed that because maybe it made some people uncomfortable. They're like, there shouldn't be shame around food. I'm fine with that. And I'll adjust my language towards other people, but I am still very pro using the term shame eating, at least as applies to me and other people in the community who like to identify as shame eaters. I feel like it is a very specific Specific, specific term. And again, I understand, I'm not going to say it to somebody else. And to me, it doesn't have to do with your body, your health or judgy. We all have. I was doing some shame eating in the car the other day a couple of Sundays ago. We, it was like we were kind of in the fog of puppydom again and I had to like, I was juggling some weird things where I had to go to my volunteer gig and I just did not have the ability to eat. And so I left about 10 minutes earlier than I usually would. And I went through the McDonald's drive thru loop. I went through the drive through successfully and I didn't mess it up at all. There were no awkward interactions. I did it like a GD Pro and I got myself McDonald's.

[Luke Burbank]

Will you be ordering with the app?

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, that. I don't like that. I would tell you up front, like, anyway, I don't like that. I always say, no, I'm not. But anyway, I got myself like an order of chicken nuggets. And usually I would just get the nuggets, but I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna get the, I'm gonna get the small chicken nuggets a meal, right? So I got a little fries. I hadn't had McDonald's fries in ages. And of course an uncarbonated or a non carbonated orange soda. I guess an orange hi C or whatever. And I was like, okay, I'm just going to eat this in the car. And it's so rare that I go through a drive thru and then just eat McDonald's in the car. It reminded me of pandemic times. And so I found this giant church parking lot near where I do my volunteer gig. And I parked like kind of in the middle of the. This was a Sunday, so there were still a few cars spattered around here, but I like parked in an area where no cars were really that near me. Kind of in the middle of it, I'm seeing some guy finish his shame cigarette as he's like glued to his phone sitting on the curb outside of a, outside of a dumpster that I'm staring at and I'm eating. I'm shame eating. I'll use it because I'm talking about me. I'm shame eating my, my McDonald's nugs and fries. And you know how I know it was shame eating? Because there was a car maybe, I don't know, seven spaces away from me, but kind of in front of me, kind of. If I'm sitting in the driver's seat. To see this car, I have to look kind of towards the blind spot to my right, out the kind of like, you know, the corner of the car there where the passenger would be. And some family gets into that car, but I kind of don't realize it. Then to my left, there's another part of this group of people. There's a, like, two people, and they're to my left, right outside of my window, my driver side window. And they're like, apparently saying goodbye to these other people whose car is on the other side of my car, if you can picture it. And they decide that they want to have a conversation in the middle of the parking lot. And so I have this couple right outside my window yelling over my car, kind of past me. Now my windows and everything are rolled up. I have no idea what they're talking about, but I'm like, starting to be like, what the hell are you guys doing? I picked this spot so I could in peace eat this garbage meal, right? And just in peace. And now I have you right outside my window yelling at these other people who are on the other side of my car. And you know how I know it was shame eating? Because I felt shame. I waited for them to go away before I continued my meal.

[Luke Burbank]

You got down on the floorboards.

[Andrew Welsh]

I dropped. Yeah, I pretended like I dropped something. Okay. Anyway, back to Melissa. Melissa.

[Genevieve]

And then on my bus ride to school today, a phone started ringing. And everybody was looking around and couldn't figure out who was being the doozer who would not turn off their phone. And we realized that somebody had lost their phone on the bus. So I answered the phone, and now I'm part of an elaborate scheme to return this phone to a nice young man who I will call Ryan. That's not his name, but he works at pcc. And we have an elaborate plan for me to get his phone back to him. And I just thought that was very timely in light of Genevieve and Andrew's bus phone recovery shenanigans. Now I can go to class and I don't have to have all of this TBTL stuff bottled up inside. Thanks for having the TBTL voicemail line. You guys, what you do is so important. Power out.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, you gotta express that stuff. You gotta express these tbt's.

[Luke Burbank]

Bland.

[Andrew Welsh]

You gotta get it out. I will also point out that that was a voicemail that had been kind of hanging out in the voicemail line for quite some time. So I'll bet you she had that kind of phone experience damn near around the time Genevieve and I were chasing down. Down that bus to get Genevieve's phone back.

[Luke Burbank]

And did she start the voicemail by saying she was at the University of Washington Law School?

[Andrew Welsh]

Indeed. Yeah, exactly. Another Danny.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a great. Yeah, exactly. Another Danny in training, I guess. So you could have left the phone on the bus and just allowed Ryan, not his real name from pcc, to have a fun speed, like.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, Speed Adventure.

[Luke Burbank]

Speed adventure. Like you and Veeves did. But.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, but no, I mean, this will probably work out better because keep in mind, Genevieve did have to pay, like, what, a 35 doll? Yeah. Traffic ticket after it was. I still.

[Luke Burbank]

I stand by this. I think if she would have blown up a picture, enlarged a picture of the bus driver giving you a thumbs up and put it on an easel somewhere where the zoom magistrate could see it, I think she could have gotten that fine down to zero, I think, you know, but that's all right. You know, she. She didn't take my advice and now she has to pay the consequences.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. And we should know, while we're talking about the courts, I don't think we gave anybody an update on the show. But, like, tomorrow, Thursday, I will be. Apparently, I haven't heard anything from the court saying not to show up yet, but I will be appearing for the void. Voidir? Is that what it's called? The jury selection. They sent me because I had gotten this notice saying I might have to do jury duty, which could really jack up, you know, like my spring. Like, you know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, not only. I mean, again. And because for me, it's just about tbtl. It's the one thing where usually if something crazy is going on in our life, at the very least it gives us something to talk about. But this is the one thing you actually wouldn't really be allowed to talk about, obviously. So it'd be like we're doing the show at night or something, but we can't even talk about what you spent the whole day doing. You know what I mean? So it's kind of the worst of all worlds for us.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I can still talk about probably the. So here's where we are with this. Let me catch up the listener, because you and I have been having some back channel conversations about this. The last time we discussed this on the show, I had simply received, like, a post. Postcard in the mail saying, you know, you have a. You. You. You're summoned to jury duty, and then I got an email follow up, I think last week or something that said, okay, we will let you know. But they don't give you a lot of heads up there. It's like, you know, you may or may not have to do jury selection on Thursday. If you don't hear from us, don't worry about it, but you might hear from us 30 seconds before jury selection begins.

[Luke Burbank]

What a system.

[Andrew Welsh]

Yeah, like this. And these emails are written like you're crazy aunt who spends all of her time on Facebook and then wants to make like a political point to you and copy and pastes all of her arguments from various places on the Internet. And you get this email that has a zillion fonts and everything is highlighted because everything is important. So they're finding more and more extreme ways to highlight things as the, as the email is going on. You know, like something might be highlighted in yellow, but then the next thing is even more important. So it's highlighted in red and you can't even barely read it, it and everything. And then this next thing is all caps highlighted in red and bolded. And it's just like, it is an absolute mess. I cannot believe how bad the court system is at communicating simple information. But where things stand right now, I filled out a long questionnaire that gave me some of the very, very basics of the case that I am supposed to be a part of, and then a bunch of questions about do I have any conflicts of interest regarding the specific people involved in this case, including the lawyers and the are standing trial and all these various things. And so I filled that whole thing out and they are now looking that over with the other questionnaires. And unless I hear from somebody telling me otherwise, I believe I am supposed to show up for a Zoom jury selection meeting tomorrow at 8:30am and so that will at least be via Zoom. Now, there is a chance that at the last minute sometime tonight I could get an email saying, we looked at your questionnaire and we don't think that you, you're fit for this. Or one of the lawyers on one of the sides will say that they don't want me on the jury. Which, as you know, that would be a huge, huge relief for me. But as I also told you off air now that I kind of know some of the details of the alleged crime, it's the type of thing that I think, like, well, somebody needs to be on this goddamn jury because it's a really, really important thing. And so anyway, I don't know. I do think though that if I end up being on a jury where I have to show up, up, because I will have to show up in person if I'm selected for the jury. I will have to show up at the court every day for a couple of weeks in May, whenever you and I do the show. I still think I can share observations with you about what it's like to go into the court in the middle of the day or the middle of the morning on a weekday in downtown Seattle. I have not done anything like this. Obviously, I can't do anything that would or say anything that would compromise the case, but I can still talk about what it's like to go to court. I think, I still think there's still plenty to talk about there.

[Luke Burbank]

Hopefully emotionally prepared when the judge or one of the attorneys looks you in the eye and asks you what you do for a living to say to them confidently, I'm a podcaster.

[Andrew Welsh]

Well, that was part of the questionnaire. And so, I don't know, I looked up, you know, there's no reason why members of the media can't be. There's no legal reason why they can't be on a jury. But it did say that usually if you're speaking into microphones or doing something public facing, the lawyers on one side or another might not want you on the jury. So I did specifically say, like, I do a daily podcast about, about, I think I said current affairs, which maybe gives us a little bit too much credit. But you know what, if they don't pick up my trash on Wednesday, it is a Current Affair to me.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Scandal.

[Andrew Welsh]

And I did mention that my, my affiliation with KUOW as well, because that is an ongoing thing where I am somebody who gives my opinions on things. And then they asked me some questions about, like, how I feel about the state of policing in the United States. If I have any negative feelings about that. And I read your response and I sent you the response. And I'm not like, trying to say anything to get out of this. Like, again, if everybody who can string two sentences together can get out of jury duty, what does that mean for the system? You know what I mean? I do feel a bit of responsibility here, but I also said I'm going to answer these questions honestly. And I answered that question thoroughly and honestly about my concerns.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought your answer was really well written.

[Andrew Welsh]

My concerns about the state of things. And by the way, can I just say one other thing I need to get off my chest before we get out of here. I got an incredibly nice note from a listener in our audience. And I can't remember his name right now, but he was just saying, hey, listen, I've been listening since the radio days. Love you guys to death. And I'm a police officer. I don't remember where. Somewhere in the Seattle area. And I think it was after our conversation about the. About Afroman song. What is it? What is it? What kind of cake? Or lemon pound cake? Lemon pound cake and everything. And, you know, you and I had a pretty unfiltered conversation about some things that we feel are concerns with modern policing. And the thing is, like, I've been thinking about this email. I don't remember if I returned it or not. I'm sorry if I didn't. And if you're still listening, but. But, you know, I really appreciated you reaching out and saying, hey, listen, we're humans too. He's like, my feelings align with yours on so many things, including what ICE is doing. And, you know, and like, in, you know, I'm just trying to make the world a better place. God damn. Amen, brother. Like, for real, like, absolutely. I know that there are good police officers out there. I do think there are, as I wrote in the thing. I think there are systemic issues with policing, and I think there are also a lot of bad police. And. And a bad police officer is a very dangerous thing. And I'm not saying that every police officer is a bad police officer, but a lot of them are, and we've seen it. And there is, I would say, a lack of accountability in some of those things. So I really do not want. If you're listening to TBTL for all of these years and you're a police officer, I know there's just no way you are the type of police officer that I am talking about when I am talking.

[Luke Burbank]

You are the kind that we need more of.

[Andrew Welsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

By definition. Definition.

[Andrew Welsh]

And that is it. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel like the system is broken. And I do. And maybe we can. Maybe we agree on that or maybe we can politely disagree about it. But I also don't want, especially somebody who's really put in the hours and clearly has put up with a lot of my bullshit over the years to feel like they are unfairly targeted by things I say.

[Luke Burbank]

So I would love to see, for some reason, this is how they're going to talk. It's going to be real Southern when the lawyers are putting you through the voice. Dear Mr. Walsh, H. Are you now or have you ever been a member of a gravy sucking club or organization. And did you drop that laminated gravy sucker's card in the lobby of the

[Andrew Welsh]

courthouse as I reach for my wallet, like, oh, no. Where is.

[Luke Burbank]

That'll get you kicked off faster than anything.

[Andrew Welsh]

Where is it? Yeah, they asked me about any affiliations. I guess I can volunteer that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. All right, well, listen, that's gonna do it for today's episode of tbtl. But we're gonna be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. I will be in Los Angeles, California. I'm the official Chuck Lorre related reporter for CBS Television. That's what it's. That's what it's gotten to. So I just only do stories about Chuck Lori projects. So anyway, I'll be in LA tomorrow checking in. Hope you can join us for that. In the meantime, everybody, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Welsh]

And good luck to all.

[April]

Power out.