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Hi, Luke and Andrew. This is Julia. I guess I'm a Minnesotan. I had a dream that I thought you guys might appreciate for Dream Court. I dreamed that Janine Garofalo, as her character from White Hot American Summer, was running like an ice age apocalypse survival boot camp in my backyard for children. That's it. Tbtl.
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Guess what day it is.
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Guess what day it is. It's Friday, Friday. Gonna get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. Okay, I've got a funny guy for a partner. But seriously, you have to monitor your foot health. I'm gonna send you a pedometer app that I use. You're gonna love it. It has robust social features. We can give each other foot vibes. Sick.
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Holy forking shirt balls.
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We're in the good place.
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Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to A Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Meet the next generation of podcast stars. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. I'm a professional.
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Look it up in the book.
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Coming to you once again from La La Land, the Dream Factory.
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I feel warm and I'm levitating.
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Hollywoo, California, for the final day this week where we have made it. Everyone to episode 4718 in a collector series.
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Let the fun begin.
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I was on the Warner Brothers lot yesterday, seeing where all the magic is made to the degree that they're still making magic down here in Los Angeles in the pictures department. I don't know. Honestly, my favorite new TV show, I don't even own a television, is, I guess, not a TV show. And it sounds extremely banal, but I'm excited to tell you all about it and tell my friend Andrew about it because it's actually really good. Also, down here in Los Angeles, I have, I think, learned something about my hair. I'm learnding, or at least when I get my hair cut, what the best approach to that is going to be. So we may talk about that as well. Oh, and it's a fleursday where we're doing the blursday messages on a Friday because my blursday had a case of the Wednesdays. Yeah, yeah. We're doing the Blurs days on Friday special late week birthday messages for you, the tens of listeners and the people who love you coming up on the show as well. And we're going to talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
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Hell yeah. That is the energy that I need to be.
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Two yes and one hell yes.
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Oh, I'm ready to podcast now, Luke.
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Or, or, or get your parachute stuck on a giant scoreboard.
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That is the funniest thing. That is the. I saw that video. I know we've already discussed this. I saw the video of the parachuter getting stuck on that jumbotron. It's actually as a man who's scared of heights, I appreciate the intensity of that moment.
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Yeah. The danger.
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But the fact that he's hanging there for a few minutes and then it becomes evident he. He's going to continue to hang there for a while and then somebody in the stadium starts playing. This Is How Legends Are Made is they did that on purpose, Right? We never really talked about that. Was that the. Just the funniest. Was that the funniest person to ever push a button in a. In a booth?
B
No, it was supposed to be. No, these military parachutists were supposed to land in like the middle of the field as this Is How Legends Are Made was playing. The problem was the person who's handling the music either didn't realize that someone was stuck on the scoreboard or just didn't know what to do. And so the pre planned music that was supposed to be epic just continued despite the very non epic stuff going on in the real time. And so that's what I only you will appreciate this, Andrew, but I have to quickly. And I know you got a lot to talk about and we're going to get to it, but I did something that I didn't tell you about related to that segment of the show, which is where I played you the cell phone audio that someone took of the par. And by the way, the parachutist was fine.
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Yes, that's fine.
B
So that's why we can kind of have fun with this story. But I told you that I had spent a significant time in the morning kind of like pulling audio and stuff and going kind of down a rabbit hole and even making my own or having AI make me my version of like one of those kind of like hype jock jam songs. I went into the cell phone video of the parachutist getting stuck and I sweetened it. I added this is How Legends Are Made over the actual recording of this Is How Legends Are Made so that it would read better on the radio.
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This is why people don't Trust the media. This is why.
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This is why Kamala lost.
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This is how villains are made.
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But so, because the thing was. So I did not change the story. I did not add music where there
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was not music perfectly.
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All I did was made it so that when I played you the audio of the event, it was more and the listeners. And honestly I'm thinking about the listeners even more than you. It would read better. It wouldn't be as muddled. It wouldn't be as in the background because again, it was someone with their cell phone pointed at a guy on a parachute stuck on a scoreboard. And I wanted to the joke to read better. And so I went in and. And very carefully and painstakingly added the this is how legends are made music over the video so that it was a little bit sweetened a little bit louder so that the joke played better.
A
That's why I heard somebody say D.J. limewire.
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Yeah. You didn't get a clean.
A
Yeah. You had to get that there was
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someone named like Cookie Star that was showing up so much stuff of mine. It would be like, yeah, dj some Cookie Star.
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Oh, it's funny that there's a generation of people who don't really know what we're talking about about those early days downloading music.
B
Well, there's that. There's the. There's the kind of like the sort of sonic tag that people would put on stuff if they had like remixed something or whatever. And then the other thing I was trying to explain to someone the other day to a complete blank stare so it's clearly generational was the whole effect of like you. You download an illegal song on Kaza or Limewire and for some reason it has just a glitch somewhere in it. Not now. There was. There was a couple of things. There was the intentional ones where they would. They'd put something weird in like a cuckoo sound or something to just kind of, I guess disincentivize people from illegal downloading making.
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Then there was just because you would take so long on the old dial up or dsl. It would take so long.
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Well, that's why I did it at Kuow Faster Connection.
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You're sitting on all books you were going to take to the bookstore.
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True story. By the way, I. I had. I kazad so many songs to my kuow computer when I was a producer there.
A
That is ironic because we know somebody.
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But some of the songs.
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Big trouble for doing that at KOW years later.
B
Yep, yep, yep. I know, I know. If there's that and it is irony, I think that is not coincidence, but irony. But there would also be some songs that would have. Because it was, you know, it was a pretty good technology, but it wasn't perfect. There would sometimes just be, like, a digital. Like a actually quite aggressive, like, kind of digital chirp sound that I think was just as the, you know, song was being. As the parts of the song were being collected from a large network of different people, it would just get weird. And so those songs also, like, you know, and I've cited this before on the show, but there's a song by the band Soul Coughing called Circles that I really liked. I actually really still like that song. But the version I had on Kaza that I would sit at my KUOW desk with my headphones on listening to had one of those big chirps in
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it and now knew where it was gonna come, right?
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Yes. And it helped, actually, because, you know, I respond very poorly to, like, surprise loud sounds. I have a. I have a pretty over, like, overly developed response to that. But that didn't bother me. It was almost comforting. It was like, yeah, okay, I'm ignoring Bill o'.
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Grady.
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I'm listening to Soul Coughing for free. Oh, here comes that chirp. All right, well, let's keep on going.
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Yeah. And now, like you say now, if you hear that song without the chirp, you don't know what to do.
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I don't know. I feel like. I feel, like, a little bit lost. Hey, I know that you've got. Would you call it big News? Would you call it Big weekend Plans?
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Well, I don't know if you would call it big weekend plans. I would call it big Big Friday information. Do we have a song called Big DNA results?
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The biggest one, did you say. Would you say someone just took a DNA test and they're 100% that bitch?
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Technically, yes. That would be exactly what you would
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say be the most literal interpretation of the lyrics of that song.
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Exactly. Of course. We're talking about Genevieve. She did a 23. And me. No, we are talking about. Where are you going? You're backing up so quickly. We are talking about our puppy, Lucy, who. My God, Luke, am I learning a lot about this puppy. She's so big. I know. I told you that she.
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That's what you're learning.
A
I know that she's growing quickly, and I've told you that before, but we took her to puppy kindergarten for her first, like, training class last night, which is really training us to train her. And I gotta say, really quickly, I'm all over the place. Earlier this week, Genevieve said to me, Thursday's the big day. Aren't you excited? And I don't know, I probably had Cheerios in my mouth or something, and I just grunted.
B
We probably had jury duty on the
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brain at that point. Exactly. Oh, by the way, we haven't updated. I am off jury duty. They did not even have me do the voir dire voirdir so that clearly
B
somebody has a background check software.
A
Exactly.
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You were able to cull you so
A
clearing that off of the plate. But anyway, so Genevieve did say to me, like, aren't you excited for puppy kindergarten? And I remember thinking to myself, no, I'm not. Like, I didn't say that to her. I feel like, oh, this is something that we have to do, and I am here for it. And if Genevieve weren't around making these appointments, I don't know that I would be a responsible enough dog owner to do it or whatever, because I'm kind of deeply lazy when it comes to training. But I find training and I know it's important, like, don't get at me, please just don't get at me about anything. But I know it's important. I'm not blowing it off. I'm just admitting that that's a weak spot for me. The tedious nature of training an animal. I'm not drawn to it. Genevieve is naturally drawn to it. That's why she did things like she taught Bingo to sit before. This is a cat. She taught the to sit before. She would give him a treat, and I'll just give him a treat. I don't give a shit if he sits or not. That's why Genevieve was so invested in trying to train Bingo the cat to use the toilet. It's like she likes that process, and I just don't. I just find it. I want the animals to be good, and I know I have. I have a hand in that as a responsible pet owner. But I don't like it. I don't look forward to going. And I thought it was going to be. I thought this class was going to be very tedious, and I thought it was going to be very, like, we're going to tell you we're going to repeat a thousand times about how, you know, you're the cider about. There are no bad puppies. They're only bad puppy owners. I didn't know what I was expecting. I just expected it to be a little bit like, we're sending you home with a bunch of homework. It was so much fun. I am now looking forward to next Thursday's class so much. I. Genevieve's like, well, I told her later. I was like, I didn't really look forward to that, but I had so much fun. I was like on cloud nine leaving that place yesterday. And she said you were going into a room full of puppies. Like, what? Yeah, part of that.
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You thought you were going into a classroom full of puppies, being criticized for not sitting at their desk quietly.
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But no. And it was interesting. The puppy kindergarten. I thought it was going to be like, we're all. I thought that everybody in that room, we're going to be doing class number one at the same time and we'd all like move on. But no, it's like it's a beginning beginners level class. But people, some of them, it was their second time last time there or whatever. So, like, it's just like whatever the lesson that day is. So I really appreciated that. There was very little build up. There wasn't like any get to know you. They just kind of put us all in. Every person with a puppy gets put into their own little, like, kind of crated area. So we're in there with them and then they walk out in the main part of the floor and teach us a lesson about leash, you know, like in a leash skills or putting on equipment. Not the baseball equipment that you and I were.
B
This wasn't. This wasn't at a place called Ahimsa.
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It was. Yes. Everybody.
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Rudy.
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Oh, I didn't know that you had done that. Oh, okay.
B
So you know, when she was a little puppy, we took her there for clicker training.
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Yeah. Okay. Yep.
B
A little bit older. Yeah.
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We both have clickers now, Genevieve and I. So anyway, so yeah, it's so funny. Like everybody in Seattle, like everybody I talked to, listeners have written in. Genevieve already had us booked before a listener had told us about it. Like everybody says, go into Ahimsa. And it was just. It was just wonderful. And so you know what it was like. And I think the listeners get enough. I don't have to keep on describing it, but here was. Here was the bigger surprise. Not just that I enjoy doing this, but we're coming in. Lucy is on a leash. Lucy is at least twice as big as every puppy in the class. She's so big.
B
Wow.
A
Luke. She's also twice the size of her sister who is also in our class. We were walking in and the very first dog that we see is in the arms of a woman. And she and Genevieve start talking right as we're walking in, like right in the doorway. And one of them, either this woman, Steph or Genevieve, said, oh, they kind of look alike or they have some similar features. And then this woman, Steph said, oh, well, they could be siblings. I mean, you didn't get yours from sga, did you? That's saving great animals. And Genevieve's like, yes, we did. Is that the one that Carly was fostering? Who is this? And so this puppy's name, this other puppy's name is Gidget. Now, I don't remember, what was its name before?
B
What Taylor Swift song was it previously?
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Taylor. The Taylor Swifties in the audience, that's what they call themselves, Taylor Swifties. I'm a Taylor Swifty. They would know better. There must be some song. It starts with E. Is it. I don't know how. Well, you know, this is ever, evermore SD or something. Or sd. I don't know.
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You'd have to look it up.
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It doesn't matter.
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Having this conversation. But she had a Taylor Swift.
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She had it, I assume. I think they all did. And it was like SD or something like that. But anyway, her name is Gidget now, this little puppy. But it is so amazing.
B
Pretty funny.
A
It's a. Especially because she's a small little dog and I do think.
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And she surfs like Gidget used to.
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Exactly. And there was Frankie, there was Annette. Who are some other famous surfers.
B
Anybody from Beach Blanket Bingo will do.
A
Pee Wee Herman was in the background for just one scene. I was just. First of all, we were just delighted by this fact. And we've now exchanged information with Steph and we have a little text chain going that is called the Gidget and Lucy Lucky's. What did I call it? I don't know. We have gang. Or the. Or the Lucy and Gidget gang is what I'm calling us. And we're trading our DNA results of both puppies. But it is amazing, the size difference. I mean, these two dogs are from the same litter and I do think so.
B
They have the same. Well, I guess we'll use these terms father and mother, right?
A
Not necessarily. You can have a different. You can have a different father in the same litter. I learned. We learned that with Bingo the cat. But I thought that was a cat only thing. But, but sometime during the. I mean, unless I'm totally.
B
So in other words, the dog could already be. By the way, welcome to TBTL Animal Husbandry Friday.
A
Well, I mean, how do the birds and the bees. Do we have a song for that? How the birds and the bees work.
B
I just, I guess I assumed that animal, you know, non human animal pregnancy followed human animal pregnancy. But if you think about a litter, it's so many either, you know, so many puppies or kittens or whatever you're talking about. That, that's not a thing that happens typically with human birth. So that could mean that there could be multiple different fathers that the. Or something. I mean, again, this is Googleable, I guess, but that had never occurred to me. I was assuming that this litter was all going to be the result of the same two animals, you know, procreating, as it were.
A
Well, I learned this with Bingo the cat. And the reason it came up was because we met this entire litter. But Bingo is the cat in that litter that looks like a colorpoint cat, like a Siamese cat. Right. None of the other ones do. And that's when we learned, oh well, cat litters can have different fathers to the same mom. But I thought that was a cat only thing and I just googled it, apparently dogs. So I am right about this. We learned during this process too. Carly, the foster mother of this whole litter said to us, oh yeah, they can have different dads. But I took that video of them when they were all little puppies, all in Carly's kitchen and her husband was feeding them and they're all scampering about with their mom, Lola, and you see a resemblance and their body shape and all of them are around the same size, you know. And. Well, the fun thing is now Steph is sending videos that she took from back then even earlier. So we're seeing like little videos of, of Lucy that when she was younger than before we even met her. It's just so fun to be in touch with this woman. We're gonna have play dates and stuff. Like how cool is that that Lucy is gonna be friends with her sister.
B
That's really adorable. And like, yeah, that's, I mean, and they're going to be going to class together and, and yeah, that's really, that's really cute. I'm glad you had fun. Yeah, I mean my memory of going to that place was also a very fun. We did not, we did not follow through with the clicker as well as we should have. Although Rudy was a pretty non destructive and just kind of generally, I wouldn't say chill dog because she had a lot of energy back in the day. Although she's, you know, she's getting up there in years. But, but it was very fun to be there and be around all those dogs and and yeah, I'm glad that you got to experience that and didn't like sort of, you know, say, well Genevieve, why don't you handle this or something? You know, thinking that it was going to be like a hassle or a bummer or something. Now wait a minute. Do you have the DNA?
A
Yes, I do.
B
Results.
A
I do. I'm trying to figure out is there any good music for that. Let's see here. I have this.
B
Uh huh. That's a good one.
A
I don't know.
B
I happen to know a guy who's at his is limited. Playing that song.
A
Playing that song. Let's see, we have. We have this one of course kind of birthday related. Sure. We'll just keep this going in the background here. Other otherwise it's going to be sky jinx. But I have the results here, Genevieve. Of course. The little DNA swab of Lucy, by the way. Yeah, I thought it was going to be.
B
The Washington State crime lab is hopelessly backed up. They can't prosecute crimes because they can't run anyone's blood tests. But the we've got the dog DNA people are like rapid response.
A
Well that is one of the bummers that we learned is Lucy's DNA was found at the scene of the crime. Cold case shooting. Unfortunately, Seattle. So unfortunately our time with her is both limited and certainly our relationship is going to change.
B
Try to make it count.
A
Exactly. All right, so I wanted Lucy to be as many different kinds of dogs as possible. I just thought it would be funny. And boy did we get that she has it says Here we detected 22 breeds in Lucy's DNA. Do you want to take any stabs?
B
Loosen the caboose.
A
Yeah, right, mom. Let's see here.
B
Well, slut shame.
A
Well, it would also go back though, right?
B
It would be.
A
Yeah, yeah. Okay. So. So do you have any guesses? Do you care? Do you just want me to tell you the number 1 1?
B
Let me just give me. I used to be. I thought pretty good at. Although I now I sound a little bit. A little bit like that sketch.
A
That's.
B
I don't call it a sketch or whatever. Remember we played that thing a while ago? That was a funny or die thing, I think shot in la where it was just people constantly telling somebody that they got to get the DNA test for their dog and they're all kind of speculating about what the dog's features are or you know, what that indicates.
A
Yeah.
B
There was a time, I think before we doing dog DNA tests where I did think I had a Pretty good eye for just from being at the dog park for so much of my life, like with the dog flea that I had, I thought I was pretty good at it. So thinking about the pictures I've seen of Lucy and her face, she's got those big ears. Although that might just be puppy dumb. I don't know if she'll, you know, if those will remain kind of big and adorable or if it'll all become proportionate. I don't know. Give me, give me the top line. What is, what's the main, what's the main thing?
A
The, the, the percentage. The highest percentage she has of a single breed is Pitbull 21. 21% pit bull.
B
I guess I could see that maybe her head has got a little bully
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in there, as they say, which is a look that we very much like, which is nice. And then so they have this sort of organized by the types of dogs, not like by rankings. So I need to kind of bop around here a little bit. But her next highest is 11%. So her highest is 21%. And that's. And then the second one is 11% Staffordshire Terrier. So both are like, you know, pretty tough, kind of.
B
Those are both kind of muscly, low to the ground dog.
A
Yeah. And they're in there listed here as guard. Like. That's the, that's the, like guard dog. So that's one of the reasons why we really need to make sure that this dog, who is growing exponentially and has, you know, has pit and Staffordshire terrier is well trained. Right. Because she's going to be a strong, strong dog. Then we also have, I guess 11% is a tie for second place. Chihuahua. So that's the part.
B
Chihuahua.
A
Yeah.
B
That's like. Because you're talking about with Pitbull and Staffordshire Terrier. Again, those are the kind of dogs that have that very sort of muscular chest and they're low to the ground and they've been bred over the years for being protectors, et cetera. And then you're throwing a little Yo Kiero Taco Bell in there.
A
No, but the thing is, I think this is common. Like when Genevieve got these back, she's like, yeah, she's. Because those. I want to be careful how I say this. I'm not going to put it the way Genevieve puts it, but as people who know, no, those pit bulls are going around having their way with these little dogs. You know what I mean?
B
They're just the case. I've always. And again, not to get too anatomical, but I Used to always make the joke if there was a dog that was like a Great Dane Chihuahua. I was like, God, I hope the chihuahua was the dad. You know, he's like. When you're thinking about just the. Like, the mat. The huge difference between these breeds, typically, I'm always rooting for the little guy to be the horn dog.
A
I know if. I'm telling you, man, if we're having this conversation over beers, I would have some other things to say about that. But I will. I will just kind of go down this list a little bit more.
B
So discretion is the better part of valor.
A
Exactly. It's not the better part of humor, but we will leave it there. So 21%. And then we had 2. 11% with the terrier and the chihuahua. And then you're getting into, like, the smaller numbers. So 6%. Yeah, 6%. We have three sixes. We have Australian cattle dog, Australian shepherd, and chow Chow.
B
Chow Chow.
A
Yeah. So the cattle shepherd chow chow in
B
my neighborhood, that I don't like.
A
Yeah, those are little. Are they fluffsters? Are they?
B
They're fluffsters. Then this is not a criticism of the breed. This is a criticism of these three chow chows that when sometimes I walk Gigi in the neighborhood, they come and they bark at us, and I don't like it. Oh, yeah, that's not an indictment of the breed. If you have a chow chow that you. That you love.
A
Yeah, I'm looking at them online now. Very cute, though. Very puffy.
B
And then what, like 4% Albanian and then actually, we're gonna swear to God, if she gets on that goddamn website.
A
Andrew, who is our idea. Who added you to the week?
B
I think it was Chad who put me in.
A
Chad, could you now just put Lucy in under other but above Luke? So those are 6%. At this point, I don't know how interesting this is to anybody but me. 4% German Shepherd. So you have the cattle dog, Australian shepherd, and German shepherd. Those make a lot of sense to us because she's trying to hurt us all the time. And as I say to these all the time, Herd people. Herd people. Let's see here. 2% miniature American shepherd. 2% border collie. 2% Neapolitan mastiff. So again, that's a trace of.
B
I usually just eat the strawberry.
A
Yeah, right. But, like, who. Who'd have thought that I'd have a pitbull mastiff? Right. And Rottweiler. 3% Rottweiler Dachshund. I knew there was gonna be some dachshund there. Because of her shape. Some miniature pinscher, some Yorkshire terrier, Alaskan malamute. Or is it malamute?
B
Malamute.
A
Malamute. Sh. Shar pei, Siberian husky. 1%. How do you say this? Samoyed.
B
Oh, Samoyed.
A
Samoyed.
B
Yeah. Which is very like a husky.
A
Yeah.
B
4% lab. Interesting.
A
Wow. Okay. Toy poodle. 2% shih tzu. Sorry, I'll beep that 2%. Carolina dog. We don't know what a Carolina dog is.
B
But my guess would be a Carolina dog would be in the hound class, maybe a bloodhound. Like one of those where the red fern.
A
They have that under street dogs. For real? Okay, so let me give you these categories. So the street dogs, guard dogs were the guard dogs. You know what those were? The herding dogs. Then the terriers, which Chihuahua Daxon loves a terrier. And then they have Asian and Oceanic, which is the Chow Chow. The malamute et cetera. Lab is under sporting the Labrador retriever
B
sporting class because they might go get a duck that you shot. Would be the sporting class.
A
Then under companion animals they have toy poodle and Shih Tzu. And then under street dogs they have the Carolina dog as a. I don't like that.
B
Don't, don't.
A
I don't know about that.
B
Yeah, because yeah, when I hear Carolina, I'm thinking of like, you know, one of these sort of like hound dogs that bays that like is treeing raccoons and things. That's. I don't have any evidence for that. I'm just saying that's what comes to mind when I hear about a dog from Carolina. But.
A
Yeah. Oh, apparently seems a little judgy. One of their nicknames of a Carolina dog is. I'm going to read this to you because actually he's got a good power out. Carolina dog, also known as yellow dog, Yowler dog, American dingo or the Dixie Dingo. I love the idea.
B
The Miami meat tent. The ding A ling sling.
A
The Dixie Dingo. Exactly.
B
We'll add that to the list. Add that to the list. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.
A
On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go. Everybody ready?
B
Alright, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough to TBTL. And it is how this whole thing can happen five days a week, 52 weeks a year. Holidays, summertime, wintertime. It's like the postal service. Neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night can stop us from practicing this bdsm, Andrew.
A
That's right. But we're not open on Sunday Sundays, just like the postal service.
B
That is true. There's a lot of similarities. And we want to. Today, we want to thank our friend, longtime friend of the show and one time, you and me, picker, upper right at the bus station. Our friend Kristen Zook, who's in Kansas City, Missouri. Did you realize, Andrew, the sort of grand coincidence, if you will, of today, the fact that we're thanking Kristen Zook
A
because of baseball reasons, you mean? Yes, exactly.
B
Baseball reasons. We are playing and I know. And Kristen is a. If I. If I remember right, a big time Kansas City Royals fan, right?
A
Absolutely. Yes. Yes, she is.
B
And the Mariners are playing the Royals.
A
Exactly. Which. And I've been following the Royals. They've been struggling as well. I think they're struggling more mightily than the Mariners. But I have a lot of love for that team now. It's the only team that I know you know a little bit about. And so you're a Pasquatch guy who. Name a person who isn't. And he's been injured, but he might make an appearance tonight, I think. But yeah, this will be a weird one. I think this will be the first, like, kind of game that I will watch between these two teams in which I am as invested in the Royals as I have been. I mean, my loyalties are obviously with the Mariners, but, like, it should be fun, actually. Like, am I becoming that guy who just enjoys players? You know what I mean?
B
Don't become too much of a player guy, because then you're gonna be. I need you to be a Mariners guy.
A
Yeah. You need me to burn.
B
I need you to.
A
Exactly.
B
I need you to also feel the emotional impact of the Mariners doing poorly or.
A
Well, absolutely. No, I'm with you. I'm with you.
B
Okay. Well, Kristen says, Top 5 TBTL related moments of my life life so far.
A
I love this so far. That is. That shows that we're just at the beginning of this journey. Yes.
B
Yeah. This is our quarter. This is our quarter life turn 16, 17 years into this. I was trying to explain. Oh, by the way, I don't. I don't want to bog us down. Let's just thank. Let's thank the donors and then maybe I'll tell you later. But I was trying to briefly explain TBTL yesterday to Lauren Lapkis, and. And it was. It went about as well as you would expect.
A
Oh, she's on the show that. She's on the. She's on the show that I'm doing a story about.
B
It's a HBO show called Stewart fails to save the universe. Yeah, we were talking pot while they were getting us all set up and lighting things and doing makeup and stuff. We were talking podcasting and. And. And. And I just. I don't know. I sound like an insane person when I talk about TBTL sometimes because it's been on for so long and it's. And it's like, what is the show about? And, you know, just so much of it sounds like I'm having an aphasia or something. But anyway, let's not get bogged down on that. Let's get bogged down in Kristen's top five TBTL related moments so far. Number five, messaging with John when Taylor Swift releases a new album.
A
Love that.
B
I bet you Kristen would have known the E named Taylor Swift puppy that you ran into at ahimsa. I bet you that this. If Kristen's even still listening, honestly, at this point because of how much we botched whatever the Taylor Swift name was. When you said it starts with an E and I was like, everlane. You're like, no, that was a sponsor of the show. I think she might have put out a record called Evermore. But that's a record name. That's not a name of a song, I don't think. Anyway, luckily we've got John Sklarov, TBTL employee, numero uno, and Taylor Swifty fan. That's what they call themselves. Taylor Swifties.
A
Taylor Swifties, they call themselves.
B
He's a number one Taylor Swifty the show, so Kristen's able to talk to him about that stuff when that happens. That's great. Number four, repeating content from the show and saying, I heard it from a friend. You are our friend. Listen, you might be the only friend I have who's picked me up from a Greyhound station. In fact, you are.
A
Yes. You've only been on the. On a Greyhound once. I'm guessing Luke.
B
Or am I think. Yeah. I think that was the first time with you, and I have not done it since then. Let's see. Number four. Counting down. Number five. I should say number three. That's how this works. Five, four, three, two, one. Number three, having lunch with Mike Frizzell and Emily in 2021. RIP our buddy Drew McFrizz. A fun thing to ask your 11 is. Hey, when we're in Austin, do you want to have lunch with my friend who used to rob banks? RIP to an absolute legend and kind and funny and one of those few people I've met who made darker jokes about their disability than I make about mine. Boy, to be a fly on the wall.
A
Yeah.
B
During that conversation, Mike was nothing if not drolly funny about all kinds of things in the world. Both things that are light and dark. So yeah. And we as a show were very lucky to have him in our life. I mean that was whatever. We don't have to go back into the whole story, but I've told it a million times. But you know, I was, I really mostly looked up to, I want to say I was friends with, but I just really looked up to this guy Bill Radke at KUOW when I was like the intern I was in college and there was this guy who was the host of the Morning Edition stuff and he was so funny and he did stand up comedy. And he also would just read these letters that were on prison stationary that his friend Mike would send him from jail and he'd just sit there reading these out loud and they'd be like, about the Sonics and stuff. And I would just be dying laughing. And to think that so many years later he, you know, would become a personal friend of all of ours, a friend of the show. We would officiate his wedding on stage at a TVTL live. We like a surprise wedding where we released the Kraken and we married Mike and Emily. I mean just life is very strange that way. Anyway, anyway, rip to Mike. We love him. Number two, sliding into fellow 10 Taylor's DMS after seeing her in the TBTL newsletter. Now, Andrew, I believe Taylor is another Kansas City based 10 of listeners.
A
That correct? Yes, exactly. And the person who definitely is responsible for getting me interested in Royals baseball, I will say
B
the first time we met in person was at my karaoke birthday party and she shined like the Leo know that she is like Uncle Leo.
A
She has like a lot of qualities of Uncle Leo.
B
Mustachioed.
A
Yes, indeed.
B
Generally dyspeptic. Classic Leo.
A
Yes.
B
She's been there for me through some really rough times. She shares her Royals tickets and embodies that no mountain too tall ethos. And then number one, Andrew. And thank God if this wasn't number one on the list.
A
What if it was?
B
I would be like, I mean it meant this meant more to us than it did to you. Kristen. Picking up Luke and Andrew from the bus station in Kansas City and going out for beers and fries at Kansas City's famous Westport flea market. I say do meet your heroes. That was such a. That was such a Fun night to hang out. And I mean, it really was like we've told the story a million times, but we were our. Our initial goal was to hitchhike the length of the Mississippi River. It was harder than we thought it was going to be. We did some amount of hitchhiking, but we also did some amount of bus taking. We rented a car. Eventually we had to do what we had to do. But getting off that Greyhound bus, did we know that? And it wasn't just. It was Kristen. And I think there might have been another 10.
A
Yeah, yeah. I think Kristen had assembled a bit
B
of a little posse.
A
Posse.
B
The friendliest posse of all time. They're usually posse and you know, in western parlance means they're gonna hang you high. But in this case, it was the friendliest posse in the Midwest. And did my question to you, Andrew, is did we know getting off the bus that there were going to be people there? Like, had we picked that up through like the Facebook or the Internet or something? Or was that a full on surprise?
A
I don't remember. I remember it as a full on surprise. I remember it that way. You know what else I remember? And I'm looking this up now. This was seven years ago, Luke. The reason I know this, I stumbled on something recently. This is one of my major memories from that bus trip was so you. Like you said, we were trying to hitchhike. Trying to hitchhike, but we somehow ended up in a town where we were having trouble getting out of there. So you bought us some Greyhound tickets, which seemed like in the spirit of. Of, you know, our journey. Right. It wasn't like we just rented a car at that point. Later we would rent a car for just a little bit of the journey.
B
But anyway, then a Lear jet at
A
the end, we had that kind of
B
in violation of the spirit.
A
Yeah, we did have that helicopter. And anyway, so I remember being on the bus and feeling a little like I don't know what to do about this anymore. I think that there were. I think there was also some bad weather. I think we were leaving whatever town we had spent the night at a casino or something. I think it was a little bit
B
of like Waterloo, Iowa, and there were very, very powerful and dangerous storms rolling through, which would have made it kind of crazy to stand on the side of the road thumbing it. So that's why we went to operation Greyhound.
A
Yes. And so we're on the bus, but we're still unclear how we're going to get from once we arrive in Kansas City. How we're going to get to our next stop which we're trying to get to like Springfield or Memphis, Tennessee. And I know that because I had an idea of what if I go on a Reddit and I only have like a few Reddit posts prior to this, but seven years ago I found a subreddit called Rideshare and on the bus I posted this. Kansas City, Missouri to Springfield or Memphis. Two podcasters on a cross country adventure looking for a ride on June 20th starting in Kansas City, Missouri heading east. We're trying to make it to Springfield or as far as Memphis tomorrow and I received zero comments. I got 10 likes on that. But likes don't get you to Memphis, my friend is a famous song like
B
in one hand and poop in the other and see which fills up faster my friend.
A
Exactly. So anyway, I just happened to stumble on that the other day. So I was also of reminiscing about this and, and obviously Kristen is just such a, such a huge part of that memory of the entire trip. You know what I mean? Like God, what a world man. For real?
B
Absolutely. Thank you Kristen. We really do appreciate you for all your support in many ways over the years, including picking us up at the Greyhound station. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.
A
Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go.
B
Everybody rattles dance Its Rachel and Matt G in Bellevue, Washington. G like the letter G or Gee whiz or OG Nice is the pronouncer. Rachel and Matt are keeping it short and sweet. Andrew they said we can't think of what to write this year so instead we just want to say thank you for being our co bros. Peace and love. Peace and love. See I think this is a great example of not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. As we've talked about, we have these incredible donors and for all these years folks have been ponying up and making this thing happen and then the thanks for that. Particularly if you donate at this high level that we call dazzling donor is we send you an essay project and some people really enjoy it and some people use it as a way to promote different things and some people feel like it's pressure to be clever or original or something else. We never want it to feel that way. This is an extremely effective message. Just saying hey, thanks for being our co bros. And and and I would say you're welcome.
A
And I would say too if you don't like the essay or whatever, you can make a diorama. You can make a diorama and send it to us.
B
What Are the other options you could do, like Columbo.
A
You could exactly dress up like Columbo, give an oral presentation about tbtl, if you would prefer. Just like we're. We're willing to meet you where you are.
B
Yeah, exactly. Did. Did you remind me briefly? The. By the way, do you know I'm saying remind you briefly, and then I'm talking. Do you know that I once did a diorama in lieu of classwork and it worked?
A
You mean that wasn't an option? That was stated, but you just did it?
B
Yes. When I was in, I don't know, maybe third or fourth grade, we took a family trip back to Philadelphia, but this was during the school year. We went. We flew to Philadelphia, and then we rented a car and we drove. We stayed in Philly for a while, and then we drove down to New Bern, North Carolina, where my dad's dad. Where Farnham Burbank was living. And we hung out there in New Bern and for a while. And all this involved me missing class, so I missed a bunch of assignments. But the teacher said, well, if you do a presentation about something from your trip, then we just will call it even. And so I decided to do a presentation about something called Fort Macon, which I think was in. Somewhere in one of the Carolinas that was, you know, some important, I guess, like maybe Civil War location or something. And this was my move as a kid. If I had to do anything like this, which was like, get my dad on the case and like, get him invested and then get him to take over the project and then for me, go downstairs and listen to the Mariners while he did the project. And so I got my. At the time, by the way, probably 31 year old dad or something. He's right at the time. Younger than my daughter now is. I got him building this diorama of Fort Macon. And, you know, my dad's a pretty artistically talented guy. He had access to a lot of, like, foam that could be shaped and shaved and stuff. He got, Andrew, you would have died, dude. We're about talking talking cannons at scale. We're talking a cutaway of how the fort was built into the hillside. We're talking earth tones. This thing was sick. It was like probably like 3 foot by. I was probably 3 foot by 5ft or 6ft. It was like the. I brought that thing into class and it was like my entire social standing changed. At least with the boys. They were like, what.
A
What grade did he get?
B
I believe it got an A. I believe it. Absolutely.
A
He must have Been so proud.
B
He. I mean, it was the second time that he kind of saved my bacon. The other time was I was trying out for the school play at Pillar of Fire Christian School, which just tells you everything you need to know about that place. And what happened was he made me. I wanted the role of Pharaoh, and he made me a pharaoh hat that was so cool and looked so much like at least the Yul Brenner version of Pharaoh from like, you know, the Ten Commandments or whatever, that I walked in and they said, well, you've got the role. You brought the. You came with, like, we can't give to some kid who has some whack ass hat.
A
We.
B
This kid's got the best hat, so we'll give you the role.
A
I love that. Like Van Halen with the amp, when you could.
B
Exactly, Precisely. It's like when you could get. My dad and I mean, the guy had seven kids. He's running a only barely profitable sign business. He's trying to be a unpaid pastor at a church. So when you get him to carve out some time to work on one of these projects, it usually went pretty well, but only because of his completest nature. Like, once he was into it, then it was like, oh, he's gonna. He's gonna now really lock in on this and ignore a lot of other actually more pressing and relevant things he should be doing to build this diorama.
A
How is this man also my dad? Dad?
B
Like, is that a Bob Walsh?
A
No, no, no. I just. It's an Andrew Walsh thing. Like, once you lock into something, you just can't not. You just can't let it go until it's done. And it's just so many things you say about your dad is just so relatable to my own personal experience.
B
Well, that's why. Probably why I like you and I like my dad so much, because I mean, this. Like, you guys have. You guys have similar personalities. Those personalities are in a lot of ways really different than mine. But. But it's. You know, there are personalities that I very much appreciate.
A
So, I mean, to think that he and I are bit torrenting at the same exact time. Hey, I want to tell you one little story, and I've said this on the show before, and by the way, my dad is similar in. In some school project. Things like it just like, created some things for both me and my sister that, like, he really did end up sort of. There's just no way we would have created what we created without him. Like, I remember this huge Map that was painted out. It was like it was based on a puzzle that we had that showed a map of the United States and then like little cartoons or little illustrations of like, what that state is known for. Like maybe one thing representing agriculture and one thing representing something else or whatever. And basically it was my sister's project, but my dad basically did it. Just like took a giant piece of plywood and just upscaled this thing and just repainted it on there. And it was just an amazing thing. This project I want to tell you about. About it might have been inspired by his idea, I'm not sure. But I do think that I did this and I'm so proud of this. I made a diorama. Just this talk makes me want to make a diorama. By the way, I saw somebody post the other day. They said they make you make dioramas in school, but it's not preparing you for anything because nobody's made me make a diorama in my adult life. And I sort of was thinking like, well, maybe they should because they're a lot of fun. But usually the diagram.
B
So try running that through ChatGPT.
A
Yeah, right. Oh, I want to read this piece in the future print. I don't know if this is one of those things where the New York Times saw one example and it's trying to make it into a trend piece, but I saw a headline that said that some teachers are having students write essays not at home and not on computers anymore, but handwritten in class, which I think is an interesting thing. But what I was going to say was I was proud of this because it was literally thinking outside of the box. When you thought about a traditional diorama, at least in. In my experience, it was usually a shoebox that was kind of laid down. And then you sort of lay it down in its own lid so the lid pointed towards the viewer. And you'd sort of have. That would be sort of the ground. And then you would look into the shoebox for the rest of the diorama. But I made a diorama that turned it all on its head. Luke. It was a shoebox that stood upright, you know, like. Well, I was into. Yes, I was into front facing vertical dioramas long before anybody else. It was a vertical diorama. And instead of having the action go on inside of the box, I took. It was about. It was a. It was about a story of these two kids who one point in the book, they get trapped inside of a shed. So I made the whole Box, a shed by taking popsicle sticks and gluing them all the way, all the way around the box. It was just like this, you know, rectangular shed looking thing. And the only thing you saw inside was I put two googly eyes on it and a couple of hands from this little like action figure that I had. I pulled the hands off of it and had like the hands sort of like resting on the sticks so it looked like you were looking into this thing and there were some kids looking out at you. Very proud of that. Very proud of that as well.
B
Is that preserved somewhere? Does that still exist?
A
Thank you for asking. Because the teacher who was my third grade teacher, who was not Mrs. Velardo, she was the one who was.
B
Oh, I would have thought Mrs. Vilardo.
A
No, it wasn't Ms. Velardo. We loved her. But we had another. Maybe it was fourth grade, but she was very, very, very. She was my least favorite teacher. Very stern, didn't prone to hollering, Prone to hollering, prone to staring daggers. She liked it so much she kept it. There was like, she would keep like one a year or something like that.
B
Oh, kept it in the classroom.
A
She kept it. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, she kept it in the classroom and put it up on like a shelf of like the other best diaries
B
as an example of how good this can be.
A
Yes, it was. It's still. That might have been my high watermark, like, generally speaking in life, by the
B
way, I can tell.
A
It was. It was. I'm still pretty proud of it. I'd love to see it.
B
Well, thank you by the way, to our donors, particularly Rachel and Matt G. For their short, succinct message that led us to two not short, not succinct stories about childhood art triumphs. We couldn't do this without. Gotcha.
A
Hello and welcome to Top Story.
B
This is a pretty quick top Story, but it made me think of you the other day, Andrew. I have started watching this show and again at the top of the today's tbt, I said my favorite TV show is not even a TV show because what even is television anymore? But I have started watching this thing on TikTok. I haven't been able to find it anywhere else. I'm sure it's on Instagram too. But the show is called called Errands. And what it is is people doing different errands. And it is so compelling to watch. Now the reason I noticed it was because there's a. A comedian and writer who I'm a fan of named Demi Adigi. EBay, who's. I don't know if you saw Demi Adigi. EBay is going to do one. Backflip was a one man show that he put on. He's been on Livewire a bunch. He's just like a very, very funny, smart, interesting dude.
A
And most people know him from his super, super viral videos about the song September.
B
Yes, yes, exactly. That's what he would be known for. The those over the top produced things. And it was him. So I thought it was just like a Demi video, which I'm always down for. But he was like, he was going to like, basically I think try to like find some lumber. I don't know if he was. I think he was trying to find some leftover lumber and he was trying to build this cabinet and put a piano in. He was kind of trying to do this project. So it's him going, he's scrapping the lumber, he's getting, you know, finding the scrap lumber. And then he's kind of at his place cutting it and shorting out his whole apartment because the extension cord got wet or whatever. He's trying to build this thing. So I was like, oh, okay. Well, this is interesting. I wonder why we were just following Demi do that. So I click on the actual feed for errands and it's just. And now granted, what's smart about it is they have picked up people who are pretty funny and interesting. I think a lot of them are either comics or performers of one kind or another or just people who are sort of good television. You know, they're just good at narrating. But it's like one person, maybe my favorite one was this, this guy who has a rug, his favorite area rug in his apartment I think with roommates maybe where one of his roommates cats just urinated violently on this rug rug. So he's just taking the rug to have it washed. So we just follow him rolling the rug up. He's walking down the street of Los Angeles. He goes to the place we get to see the rug getting. And what he's talking about the whole time is like, this is like what I've seen on the Internet when they're washing rugs. And he's like. And it absolutely delivers. So he's like getting his rug washed and like. And you know, and, and like, it's just very satisfying. Another one is a, A woman who's picking her dad up from the airport. I think her name might be Mina Johari. I might be slightly off on her first name, but it's just her driving to get her dad at the airport and talking to him on the phone. And then a little bit of when he gets in the car, him talking about what he was reading on the flight. Like, it sounds so banal, but it's so great. It's like the perfect TV show because there's like a, there's a forward momentum to it. This one woman, I think in New York realizes that like she has no window covering. She doesn't have like a, A, you know, blinds or, or curtains, but she likes to do like dances in her, in her bedroom, like maybe for YouTube or, or whatever. And everyone can see into her room. So she's going to buy fabric to make a curtain so that she, at, at the time when we meet her, the way that she has her window slightly obscured to the outside world is with like a, I would say maybe like a, A, A two foot by three foot painting of like Cartman from South park that she did. That just doesn't even nearly cover the whole window. It's just sitting in the corner of the window a little bit, blocking it. So she decides she's gonna make this curtain. And the funniest part, and this is not really a spoiler, but she ends up making the curtain. The curtain is too short to cover the window. She has to put the Cartman painting back in the window for maximum blockage. And then the final shot is just somebody out on the street, street filming what you can now see through the window as she's dancing in there. It's just such a great little slice of life. And, and you know, you're, you're a person who, I don't know if I would say you love errands, but I know you like going to the grocery store. You like this kind of stuff. I think you might like this show.
A
And it is. I'm on their website, which is very, very sparse and it just leads to their YouTube and tick tocks. But all of these are. They're all like, even their YouTube videos. They're just, again, they're like vertical short videos. They're like.
B
You don't like vertical, but. No, no, Watchable.
A
That's not true. But what I was going to say was it's not like. It's not long form at all. Right? It's all, it's all made for social. We're not seeing clips of this. What it's. I'm just sort of telling the listener this as I'm clicking through that, like you say is kind of a show, but it Is like the longest one is going to be about three minutes or something like that. Right.
B
Are they that short? That's.
A
I don't know. I sort of asking. Let me see here. This one is a minute 30. Yeah, they're. They're like. Yeah, so they are made for social. They're not just being clipped for social. Yeah, that's.
B
But you know, it's. What's interesting about that, Andrew, is I'm sure you're right. I've watched now again only on TikTok. I've watched probably seven or eight of these. I would have told you they're all 12 minutes because the amount of information that I felt like I'm getting, I'm
A
feeling like maybe I'm. But I know I'm on their official site. Yeah, no, they're all about. I believe.
B
I believe you. I'm saying this is where time is kind of elastic and contractable in a way like that. Like these feel like almost a full short film to me. Even though. Yeah, they're probably, they're probably 90 seconds. But it's crazy what you can convey in 90 seconds. I mean that seems like not even short form, that's like micro form. But I feel like I have a sense of that particular. That one particular woman's relationship with her father from this video of the. The woman who's making the curtain for her room of her relationship with crafting and materials and dancing and it's like, it's wild the amount of information I feel like I'm getting about these people out of what I'm sure are like way shorter videos than I even think of them as being.
A
What I am currently obsessed with is probably not interesting, but I think you will understand why I'm obsessed with it and be obsessed with it as well. When you go to their website, it is nothing but a blank page, just a big white blank page and it says Aaron's in all lowercase at the top and then it says Aaron's is a shot show. Then the next line errands can be watched on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube and there are links to their channels there. You can buy stuff here. There's a link and it says questions at Aaron show. And that's an email address and that's it. But I mean that's just small type, like 12 point, 10 point type on a giant blank page. I love the sparseness of this. But what I'm obsessed with is when you click on the link that says you can buy stuff here. Their shop. Shop doesn't show, like, what our shop traditionally shows now, by the way, shout out to John Sklaroff. I like the way our shop looks and everything, but they have T shirts that are just very simple that just say, I heart errands. And instead of just showing you, like, the usual shop photos, they've taken videos of these shirts on hangers blowing in the wind and just hanging off of, like, the back of somebody's apartment building or something, or a fence or something like that. And that is the visuals. Like, I love the, like, the. The seemingly throwaway nature of this aesthetic that they're going for. It's so cool. Like, I wouldn't. My brain wouldn't go here to put together a shop like this. This one, this one shirt keeps on almost flying, flying away. And that's what they're showing you. You want this shirt? Buy it here.
B
I mean, it's so minimalist. It's so clever to me. It's so like, these people, you know, are. They might not even be in my daughter's generation, you know, who are making this. I mean, it's so different as far as content goes, but I love it so much. By the way, the comedian I was trying to think of a writer is Mitra Johari, who's picking up her dad from the airport. Because now that I'm scrolling through this, too, like, there was another one that I really liked, Andrew, that reminded me of Genevieve's recent adventures, where this young woman is, her name is Elena Cates, is trying to argue or not argue, but she's going in front of a judge, like a zoom judge, about, like a car accident she had that was not, she says was not her fault. And she's trying to keep the judge from adding points to her license, which in some states just means your insurance rates go up and stuff like that. And so it's her just getting ready to go on this video call and stressing out about it. And I think maybe she calls her like her mom or her dad.
A
Can we listen to that one? Because I've been wanting to click on that one. That's the newest one. I've had it in front of me the whole time. I was going ask to ask you if you watch the Elena one, because I don't know what was drawing me to it, but it says Elena goes to digital court because of a ticket or something. It kind of trails off. Let me see how the audio works.
B
Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
C
I do. I got in a very minor collision. And now I have a virtual hearing to get points off of my license. I need to call my insurance agent and talk about what I should say. It wasn't my fault. Like, I was driving straight ahead. Oh, my God. I don't want anyone to see this. Hi, I just want to talk through what I should say during the hearing.
B
Usually it's not as scary as.
A
Can I pause this? I just want to let you know. So we're seeing. She's talking to the camera, but we're also seeing her just kind of walk into her apartment. I'm not exactly sure what she doesn't want people to see. It's just a little bit of a cluttered, not super tidy apartment. So I think she's like kind of throwing like maybe dirty clothes out of the, out of the way of the camera or whatever. And she just kind of looks like. Now getting on the phone and calling the court, it looks like.
C
Okay, I'm scared. What should I wear?
A
Oh, I'm sorry. This is her attorney. This is our attorney on the phone. She just said that.
C
Hi, I just want to talk through what I should say during the hearing.
B
Usually it's not as scary as you think it is.
C
Okay, I'm scared. What should I wear? I'm going to wear my fake glasses to make me look smarter.
B
There you go, Alana.
A
Now you're talking.
C
Okay, bye, Ken.
B
Now, Andrew, action. Are you struck by the same thing that I was struck by? That really created some real dramatic tension for me.
A
I was. The dramatic tension for me is whether or not the audio is going to work. What are you thinking of?
B
She's trying to figure out what to wear for her hearing. And she's kind of going around her apartment and then she. She dons a T shirt that says Porn star in training.
A
Oh, I don't know if I've seen
B
that shot, which I'm like, there's no way you're going to wear that. And then she. She is going to wear it. She puts a blazer on over it so you can only make out some of the letters. But I'm like, again, why does she choose that?
A
Does she acknowledge it?
B
She does not. It is unacknowledged. Just play the rest of the video.
C
Wait. I'm so nervous though. It's going to go great. Look how big this normal size spoon is compared to me.
A
She's just holding a giant spoon. That must be a decorative piece in her. In her apartment. But okay, now she is now wearing the shirt that you just described. She's wearing a Black shirt and it says porn star in training. And sort of.
B
There's no way for a zoom. For a zoom Magistrate hearing. Are you gonna wear that T shirt? Like, only thing they can see is your torso and that's what you're gonna wear.
A
Why did you choose for that compared to me?
C
So it's Monday morning and I'm just getting ready for the hearing. I really, really want to get the points taken off. I think that they'll definitely dismiss it because I look pretty responsible right now. Wait times may be up to an hour. I used to have really big boobs, but then I got a breast reduction. I actually have scoliosis. Unrelated to that. It's an affliction that many Jewish women face. And also women that aren't Jewish and men. But it's more common in women.
A
Oh.
C
Oh my God, it's in.
A
Okay. So she was having all that conversation while she's just waiting, waiting for the magistrate.
B
And so it includes, by the way, an X ray, presumably of her spine.
A
Yes, yes. Or somebody's finding. Yeah. And now it sounds like, oh, okay, they're ready for me now.
C
But it's more common in women. Oh. Oh my God, it's in.
A
Hi. How you doing? Hi.
B
You want to tell the truth, the
A
whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
C
I do.
A
Basically you're saying you never left your lane.
C
Yes.
A
I will be honest. I half expected the police report would be a little more definitive. Therefore, I'm going to remove your surcharge.
C
So you're saying that the points are. Have been removed?
A
They will be okay.
C
Thank you so much. Hey, Dad, I got the points removed off my license. Hi, Kim. I just wanted to let you know
A
that she's calling everybody.
C
Successful. Hey, mom, you're on camera. Speakerphone. Don't say anything embarrassing. Okay. Yay. I'm so happy. I needed a win.
B
She could really use a win.
A
That's the closest we've gotten to the. I could really use a win here. I didn't know that that's what that was all leading to. That's really great. I understand.
B
I'll mention too, that she puts a blazer on again, so it's not quite. You can't quite read the T shirt. Obviously the magistrate was not clocking that. That did not, you know, make it harder on her to make the case. But like also that music in the background. I think that they have. I don't know if it's one person or. Or it's a rotating cast, but there's a lot of really Great original music that's under each one of these things that's made by, I think, you know, somebody that they know. And I really like the music as well. So I just. Again, I thought of you, Andrew, because, you know, going to the grocery store is a big part of your life. And this idea of, like, how have we not been documenting people just doing different errands, you know, like, it's. It really is like, it's perfect television because there, you know, there's a stated mission at the beginning of the episode. It's like, I'm gonna do this, and then we're gonna find out if they do it or not, and we're gonna see what the journey is. And, you know, again, they pick really great people who are. Who are likable and interesting to watch. But, like, I just think it's a great little. Again, I can't say television show, but it's a great show. How about the.
A
That I love going to the grocery store, as, you know. And I'm not exaggerating when I say, I mean, maybe this speaks to this show or to personalize it more, maybe my contributions to the show. But I feel like every time I go to the grocery store, I could come out with one story for this podcast for you. Like, whether it's like the person who was, you know, like I just mentioned to you the other day, like, the person who was trying to buy something, but it was like a buy to get one free thing and she didn't have the money for it. You know, Like, I feel like there's always. I could tell you about the. The car that I parked behind in the parking lot the other day with a license plate that said I. The. The vanity plate was I'm lost. To which I thought was pretty funny. Like, I do sort of feel that, like, every time, especially when I go to that qfc, I could come back with something.
B
Yeah. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that I don't even understand, but I love it. And me describing it isn't going to be funny because it was more the font, but it just said, keep honking. And honking was written kind of chaotically. It said, keep honking. I'm listening to honking.
A
Of course, now that's a parody of those, like, really, like, very long, elaborate sentences that are on some bumper stickers.
B
Or sometimes it's like, yeah, keep honking.
A
I'm listening to the 1975 classic David Bowie record, blah, blah, blah.
B
But this was just, Keep honking. I'm listening to Honking.
A
Amazing. But now, and I'm sorry to do this. Oh, shit. You have to go. Maybe on Monday. We need to talk about this because there's something that is going kind of viral on Blue sky right now that is blowing people's minds, Luke. And it is about the origin. Like the original joke of honk if you're blank. Like, the original one was honk if you're horny. But that was back in the 60s or 70s, and there's been a million. Was honk if you like pizza, honk if you break for ducks. Whatever. It turns out that people like me have been misinterpreting what the underlying joke of that bumper sticker is for our entire lives. Can you get through the weekend. Can you get through the weekend without Googling that?
B
Yes.
A
I wanted to remind me.
B
I want to tell you as soon as we hang up, but I forgot about it already.
A
Goldfish.
B
But I'm dying. But. No, but I'm legitimately dying to know the answer. So it's going to be perfect because I'll forget about this completely until Monday morning. And then I'll be like. Like super duper locked in on hearing your answer or your explanation, because I don't. I mean, I think I know what it means, but I bet you I think the same thing you thought, right?
A
Yeah. Somebody wrote out an explanation of it, and a lot of people are saying, oh, my God, we'll get into it. I've already. I've maybe said too much, and I'll say it better. I'll prep for it on Monday. If I remember it after I play this music.
B
There's a right way to rock and
A
wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your soul. Just remember that life is number one.
B
You can be having so much fun, Luke.
A
You see, I don't even usually duck it down at that point. But I want to go fast here because you needed to be out the door in about 10 minutes, right? Not done with the show in 10 minutes. Am I right about that?
B
Yeah, but I'm pretty. But I'm. I'm. I'm all packed up and I'm ready to go. So don't. Don't stress on my account. In fact, I was just. I was just dialing up the lift to see how long does it take me to get to lax. And it's as long as we wrap this up in the next 10 minutes.
A
Okay, we will. I'm going to be very quick about this. Not disrespectfully quick to the Blurs dayers. But I'm going to be quick and smooth here and if anything happens that we get caught up in this, I can finish the show. You just go. I'm worried about. I worry about people catching flights. So let's just be there it is Andrew.
B
You know, I catch flights, not feelings. My other. It's my second favorite bumper's dude, wear
A
that shirt to court. Kevin says Tuesday was my 50th Blursday. On Sunday, my amazing wife threw me a party where we screened two feature films that I produced in the mid-90s with childhood and lifelong friends at the SIF Film Film center here in Seattle. Center. It was incredible. So they actually screened these at the SIF film center.
B
Kevin made two feature length films, I
A
guess so I don't know what they're called.
B
That's really, really hard to do.
A
It was incredible and I was humbled by all of the love shown to me. Yes, I'm wishing myself a happy blurza but really I'm shouting out my wife for throwing me an epic and unforgettable party. Happy blursay, Kevin. Congrats on all that.
B
Absolutely.
A
Also, by the way, your wife Jennifer did also write in to say a quick happy blursay to you as well and so she's all over this blurs day. Happy birthday, Kevin. Yeah, Kevin, you should, you should cast me in a movie and I'll do my famous English accent. It just occurred to me that I'm referring to a joke that I named air to you. Let's move on. I don't do English accents is all you need to know. Denny says happy belated blurs day to my co bro, actual brother Dave. I hope the m's are able to pull out a win for you and your upcoming year is as miraculous as Logan Gilbert catching a smoke and line drive in his jersey. Something that Luke and I also talked about at length before the 45 minute
B
pre show today that involved a very granular discussion of Logan Gilbert catching the ball in his jersey.
A
There are a disproportionate number of coincidences I feel going on with today's show like with Kristen's message.
B
You took your dog to a training session with her sibling.
A
Yeah.
B
The listeners are our friend. Kristen was one of the sponsors today, one of the donors and they're playing the the royals now. This, this is. It's all connected, Andrew. It's all connected.
A
You don't believe in a dog. Denny says you are a great dad, husband, son, friend and brother. Happy 38th Blurs day to day Ju says, I'd like to wish a happy blursday to my old friend Hayden. Hayden is smart, funny, and a force for justice and good in the world. I've known her for years, but only recently realized that she's a 10. Oh, damn, I love that. And a much longer time 10 than I am, having started way back in the radio days. Looking forward to celebrating this milestone blurs day with you at the roller rink. Your buddy Jew. I was at the roller rink on Saturday. No, Sunday you were. Southgate. Is it Southgate?
B
You have a whole life you don't tell me about.
A
I know. I'm withholding. Look at me getting off. I'm withholding. Susan says, I don't know how this happened, but our dear Ruby. Oh, these are our friends Susan and Ruby. I don't know how this happened, but our dear Ruby is celebrating eight. That's right. A pretty momentous golden blurs day on the 30th. And then next week, I have a milestone blurs day of my own. Oh, we messed this up. This. I was trying to figure that a golden blurs day is not the same as golden birthday. The golden blurs day is when your birthday message falls on an actual Thursday. And unfortunately, by time shifting the blurs days by a day, we missed it. So I'm sorry that we sort of ruined that for you, but really, it's. I think it's more special. As Luke would say, it's like the upside down airplane stamp. Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna start this over since I've already ruined it. Susan says, I don't know how this happened, but our dear Ruby is celebrating a pretty momentous golden blurs day on the 30th. And next week I have a milestone blursday of my own. May all of our wishes come true this year. Looking forward to tearing it up with you next week in our favorite Irish pub. Happy blursday. Happy blursday, guys. Miss you guys. And finally, Rachel says happy belated blursday to my bestie, Andrew. Rachel, you remembered. And that's so nice because I consider you my best friend.
B
Different Andrew.
A
Yeah, my birthday's in November. I'm just realizing that I thought it was like a belated thing. I thought it was really belated. Rachel says happy belated blurs day to my bestie, Andrew. Andrew will in no doubt be unsurprised by my tardiness after 20 years of friendships. But I hope he knows that this doesn't reflect at all my love for him. Thanks for being my most Most consistent friend over the years. I so appreciate our kind. Constant Contact, even when phone calls are cut short. Happy 40th to my TBTL son.
B
You know, Andrew, what that is?
A
It's a classic.
B
Classic tbtl. Too bad they're late.
A
It's a tube. It's a tube.
B
That's a classic. Too Bad They're Late.
A
I was also struck by the little subtle nod to NPR underwriter. Constant Contact. Are they still doing that? Do you remember that? Yeah.
B
Constant Contact, which always makes me think of the K.D. lang song, constant Craving.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
And then your part time comptroller, your part time controller always think like, why don't we control full time? Yeah.
A
Who's.
B
If we're. If we've. We've established controlling it is something that we need to do. Let's go with full control. Let's go with. With round the clock control. Your part time controller is one that. It's always left me slightly confused.
A
I'm trying to figure out what the Constant Contact thing is because Constant Contact is just some email deal. Yeah. Is it mail? It wasn't. Was it mailchimp?
B
It's not mailchimp.
A
It's not mailchimp. It's driving me completely introducing or it's like underwriting from such and such with Constant Contact. And I don't think Constant Contact is the name of the underwriter. It's just something they say. But this isn't getting.
B
No, I think Constant Contact is the name of the service. I think Constant Contact was some sort of an email list. I think that was the underline.
A
You're right. You're right. Constant Contact. You're right. I thought it was whatever. I thought it was a service nested under another brand. But you're right, that is the brand itself. And all I've done is be wrong and kept you from your flight even longer.
B
So.
A
So let's get out of here.
B
If I miss my flight, you've got to drive down to LA and get me, so.
A
Oh, that's not the rules. That's not the worst thing. I had a. I had a nugget of an idea that I'm going to. I'm not. I was going to talk to you about it after the show. I'll text you. I'll text you about it later.
B
I'll have plenty of time in the lift. So I'll be. I'll be available.
A
Yeah. Cool.
B
All right, Lee, that's going to do it for today's episode of tbtl and actually this week's broadcast schedule. But we will be right back here on Monday. We'll be finding out out all kinds of things about honking if you're horny, and. And I'm sure whatever else has gone on over the weekend. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great weekend everyone. Stay safe. Go Mariners. Go Jalapenos. And please remember, no mountain too tall.
A
And good luck to all. Power out.
TBTL Ep. #4718 "The Dixie Dingus" (May 1, 2026)
Overview
In this lively Friday episode, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh share updates on their lives, riff on the quirks of digital and canine DNA, reminisce about podcasting adventures, and exalt the simple pleasures of "errands"—all in their signature silly, self-deprecating style. This edition features deep dog talk (puppy kindergarten, canine heritage surprises), internet music piracy nostalgia, blursday messages, baseball, and the peculiar yet addictive TV show about people running errands.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Dream Court Opener
Luke’s Week in LA & Media Musings
"I didn't change the story. I did not add music where there was not music... I went in and very carefully... added the 'This Is How Legends Are Made' music over the video so that the joke played better." – Luke (05:29)
Andrew's Puppy Kindergarten & Pet DNA Saga
"It is amazing, the size difference. These two dogs are from the same litter." – Andrew (15:13)
Lucy’s DNA Results: Canine Ancestry Breakdown (20:03–27:18)
"I wanted Lucy to be as many different kinds of dogs as possible... boy, did we get that! She has... 22 breeds in Lucy’s DNA." – Andrew (20:03)
“Carolina dog, also known as yellow dog, Yowler dog, American dingo, or the Dixie Dingo.” – Andrew (26:56)
Dazzling Donors & TBTL Community
Tangents: Dioramas, Childhood Projects
"That might have been my high watermark, generally speaking in life." – Andrew (48:03)
Top Story: "Errands" – The Best New Show? (48:28–62:03)
“It is so compelling to watch... The show is called Errands. And what it is, is people doing different errands. And it is so compelling. Now the reason I noticed it...” – Luke (48:31+)
Classic TBTL Segments & Running Gags
Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments
Important Timestamps
Wrap-Up
The episode sparkles with the warmth and comfort of an ongoing inside joke, mixing community shoutouts, dog DNA science, media nostalgia, and an enthusiastic embrace of internet micro-celebrity culture. The affection between hosts, their self-deprecation, and their delight in the minute details of daily life (and listener lives!) are, as always, the heart of the TBTL experience.
Next Time on TBTL: