#4721 Honk If You're Corny

Summary

TBTL Ep. #4721: "Honk If You’re Corny"
May 6, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This Wednesday episode of TBTL finds Luke broadcasting from a Courtyard Marriott near Boston’s Logan Airport and Andrew in Seattle. The hosts share personal anecdotes ranging from oddball travel logistics and the etiquette of gym showers, to deep reflections on aging, autonomy, and friendship. Key topics include the demise of Ask Jeeves, the origin of “Honk If You’re Horny” bumper stickers and their internet meme evolutions, and a dive into the peculiar world of Roblox—all rendered with TBTL's signature blend of playful banter and genuine insight.

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MAIN DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. Andrew’s Secret Planet Fitness Shower Adventure

• Andrew recounts his desperate, guilt-ridden yet pragmatic use of a Planet Fitness membership solely for a quick shower between a volunteering gig and a friend’s birthday party.
• Story detail: navigating dog-sitting logistics, relying on friends Katie and Anita, and the existential awkwardness of using the gym only for its facilities (Shower Scene: [06:00–14:00]).
  • "It is a weird feeling going to... Planet Fitness only to take a shower the other day. Whoa. True story." – Andrew (03:26)
  • "There were clumps of human hair in one of the showers... I do not know what goes on in there on Sundays." – Andrew (11:34)
• Luke relates with his own stories of using facilities out of “necessity” and the social awkwardness that ensues.
• Larger point: Even trivial logistical challenges can be anxiety-inducing, but often resolve into positive experiences if you roll with the day.

2. The Evolving TBTL Life & Reflections on Autonomy, Aging, and Boundaries

• Both hosts exchange heartfelt reflections on becoming 50, growing into greater autonomy, and how life seems to improve with age ([15:00–23:30]).
  • "The older I get, the more autonomy I get." – Andrew (21:00)
  • “For all of us, it’s our first time getting old.” – Luke, quoting Murakami (18:32)
• Connection to high-school memories, how increasing independence in adulthood lessens anxiety, and the importance of setting boundaries.
• Notable parallel: the blend of freedom and boundaries as markers of true adulthood.

3. Travel Tales: How to Game the Hotel Shuttle Queue

• Luke shares his sly maneuver on a hotel shuttle to ensure first place in the check-in line (standing up—under the guise of giving his seat to new passengers—to get "pole position") ([43:00–46:00]).
  • "It looked like I was giving them their seats, but really you were getting pole position." – Andrew (44:08)

4. Ask Jeeves Closes: End of an Internet Era

• A brief, nostalgic aside about the official closure of Ask Jeeves/Ask.com, and the sense that a piece of the web’s “brightness” has dimmed ([01:40–03:20]).
  • “Turns out Jeeves hasn’t been around for a long time…but the world is a little less bright with Jeeves gone now.” – Luke (02:20)

5. Dazzling Donor Shout-Outs

• Listener donations make the show possible, as Luke jokes about humble showers and Andrew credits listeners like Ian and Audrey.
• Audrey plugs supporting national parks through local conservancy “friends groups,” a timely reminder of the threats parks face ([46:29–50:43]).

6. Roblox, True Crime, and the Perils of TikTok

• Luke, stuck at Logan Airport, tumbles down a TikTok rabbit hole about an adult using Roblox for inappropriate messaging.
  • Opens a comedic detour about whether adults actually use Roblox, culminating in all-caps Google searches and a surprisingly earnest statistic: “users age 17 to 24 are the platform’s fastest growing demographic.” ([35:12–41:11])
  • "I just searched DO ADULTS PLAY ROBLOX? Which is ... can I play Roblox as a grown up?" – Andrew (40:31)

7. The True Meaning of ‘Honk If You’re Horny’ (and its Meme Descendants)

• Luke finally delivers on a “cliffhanger” promise: unpacking the hidden meaning of "Honk If You’re ____" bumper stickers ([50:53–58:52]).
  • Revelation: The original joke is not just flagging affinity (“do you like pizza?”) but is a meta joke for bad drivers—when people are honking at you for your terrible moves, you pretend they’re just agreeing with your bumper sticker.
  • "The bumper sticker is a meta joke that recontextualizes their honking to mean they like pizza." – (Luke summarizing internet wisdom, 53:04)
  • Both hosts discuss the meme’s evolution and how jokes mutate among audiences—sometimes losing their irony along the way.

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MEMORABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS

• Philosophy via Podcast Banter:
  • “For all of us, it’s our first time getting old...We haven’t done it before.” – Luke, quoting Murakami ([18:32])
• On Growing Up:
  • “The older I get, the more autonomy I get.” – Andrew ([21:00])
  • “Maybe freedom’s just another word for having boundaries.” – Andrew, riffing on Janis Joplin ([23:07])
• On Not Wanting to Host While in a Hurry:
  • “I didn’t feel like I could go back home and make this quick turnaround...I would just be really rude.” – Andrew ([10:12])
• Meta-Humor:
  • “I just searched DO ADULTS PLAY ROBLOX? ... It’s really unsettling.” – Andrew ([40:31])
• On Bumper Stickers’ True Purpose:
  • "You're not Honking because I'm switching lanes without any turn signal...It's recontextualizing the honks around you.” – Luke ([54:40])

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NOTABLE SEGMENTS WITH TIMESTAMPS

• [03:26] Andrew’s Planet Fitness shower story begins
• [06:00–14:00] Deep-dive into shower logistics, guilt, and dog care
• [15:00–23:30] Reflections on aging, autonomy, and adulthood
• [24:19] Luke’s airline and hotel check-in strategizing
• [35:12–41:11] The Roblox detour and what adults are doing there
• [46:29–50:43] Dazzling donor segments (Ian and Audrey)
• [50:53–58:52] The true meaning and evolution of "Honk If You’re Horny"

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TONE & STYLE

The episode is vintage TBTL: warm, self-deprecating, wry, and occasionally unexpectedly profound. The hosts riff effortlessly between absurd logistical fails and earnest emotional insight, never lingering in one mood for long and always punctuating sincerity with a joke.

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SUMMARY FOR NEW LISTENERS

If you haven’t heard this episode, expect the TBTL sweet spot: everyday disaster stories, elaborate tangents about cultural minutiae, and the feeling you’re in on a decades-long inside joke. There are real life lessons buried in the gentlest kind of goofball comedy—proving again that, in the words of the hosts, sometimes "in searching for Waldo, did we really find ourselves? No, probably not." But the journey, as always, is the thing.

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Signature TBTL sign-off:
"No mountain too tall, and good luck to all."

Transcript

[Andrew]

Hidden somewhere in this noisy, chaotic morass of society is our fellow traveler, Voldo. A man unstuck from place and time. He travels the world on foot. We must go find him. At the ski slopes, I find him almost immediately. At the sea, I hunt until I am mad. And yet, Waldo does not reveal himself to me. We search for Voldo. But what is Voldo searching for? Perhaps he is not searching at all, but running from something. Does this man even want to be found? Or in searching for Waldo, did we really find ourselves? No, probably not.

[Luke Burbank]

TBTM

[Co-host]

sir, do you have any idea how super cool you are?

[Andrew]

Yeah, thanks.

[Luke Burbank]

Have a picture of you for above my bed, please. It's time now for a full look at your forecast with Astrid. Maybe we can canoodle before you get into it about. We're not gonna be canoodling. Oh, I thought canoodle meant chat. Shelly Mills looking good out there at Arcadia Lake. Where's Shelly? What happened to her? Look at her run. You can't run. Must have been a one man vaudeville act in his past life.

[Co-host]

Because the big man knows how to entertain.

[Luke Burbank]

We are legitimate and we're churning out mega megastars.

[Co-host]

And it' it's a show that actually,

[Luke Burbank]

you see great things happen to these kids and I love it. And I think that it's gonna be around for a while.

[Co-host]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Just study it out and you'll see. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Luke Burbank]

You're like the Daniel Day Lewis of only doing one thing.

[Co-host]

Coming to you today from the 617 Boston, Massachusetts, and really the outskirts of Logan Airport, to be specific. First thing I said, this belongs to the Red Sox. This is the Fenway Park. Yeah. I am posted up here at the Courtyard Logan Airport Hotel where I can see the planes taking off and landing. And what else can we see from here? A planet Fitness. That always tells you you're in the right neighborhood when you're near a planet. I'll be able to shower at any time of the day or night. That's the big takeaway here on episode 4721 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. Sad Internet news asks Jeeves is closing up shop or has already ended their run on the Internet. Are you sure that's what they said on Ask Jeeves? I mean, there would be a certain irony to the fact that you might have to ask Jeeves if. Ask Jeeves still is happening as of May 1st. They have closed. Ask.com has closed down. Turns out Jeeves hasn't been around for a long time. I just learned. And yet somehow I'm. I feel the world is a little less bright with Jeeves gone now, even though he's been gone for 20 years, it turns out we'll talk about that. And we'll talk to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh, also known as Unlimited. Mr. Unlimited to youo. Good morning, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

Good morning, Luke. Sorry about that weird noise I just made. I'm laughing because I know that was an upsetting way to start the show. I'm laughing to myself because I literally went to Planet Fitness only to take a shower the other day. Whoa. True story. It is a weird feeling going to.

[Co-host]

Holding out on me because that's a story.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, is it? Yes. Is it really a story, Luke?

[Co-host]

It's like Hemingway. It's like children's shoes never used. It's like, why didn't you have access to your home shower? Were you and Genevieve in a fight? What did you, like? Do you have to. Do you have a towel in a locker at the Planet Fitness? Did you bring a towel? Like, I've got so many questions.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, well, I don't think it's a very interesting story. I had been awake for 48 hours driving up and down Aurora on the E. Line because I was running from the police, because I committed at all capital crime. And I.

[Co-host]

Now, listen, I want to clarify for the listeners. It wasn't a capital crime. You committed a crime at one of those Capitol cafes that Jennifer Garner is always pitching. You know her from Once Upon a Farm.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host]

You took three biscotti without paying for them from a capital cafe.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask you a quick question? Not to get us.

[Co-host]

You sure can.

[Luke Burbank]

Off the path too quickly here, but what's in your wallet? Anyway, I know the story is not that exciting, but I guess we can turn anything into content. What happened was. God damn. I'm actually trying to figure out, like, how much detail to go in here. Things, scheduling. Things have been a little bit complicated with the new puppy in our life. I will say, in the past several days, things have really eased up. We're starting to see just a little bit of maturity from the dog. She's not like, she doesn't need to constant. She doesn't need our constant, constant, constant attention, which is really amazing. Like, today I gave Genevieve A ride to work again. I've been trying to get in the habit of giving Genevieve a ride to work and getting Lucy in the car with us and then kind of just getting her used to being in the car or whatever. And then I came home today and Lucy just like went into her bed and just napped for a while and I did a bunch of work. And it was so crazy just to be able to do work in the same room as this puppy who used to just, like, you know, demand your every second. And this was the story about the shower was more in that mode where we just couldn't really leave her alone or even kind of turn our back on her for a little bit. And so things were complicated. And I had a very busy Sunday. I. This Sunday was already on the books and was going to be busy long before we introduced the puppy factor into the situation because I had to do my usual volunteer gig in the Roosevelt area, but then I had to go to my friend's birthday party all the way in White center afterwards. A very, very quick turnaround time. It's a little.

[Co-host]

This was a shower of convenience, sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

Although I'm gonna have to betray the. Betray some confidence here. My own confidence, I guess, to somebody who plays a part in this story.

[Co-host]

An average.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a good point.

[Co-host]

It can take very little betrayal.

[Luke Burbank]

A minor character in this story is a regular listener of this podcast. And so I guess I will be sort of admitting something to her here and telling you this story. But what happened was I was already a little anxious about this turnaround time because I do not like to do anything socially after up without taking a shower first. It's just kind of a, you know, it's not especially dirty work, but you're just standing outside underneath a freeway. You're constant. You know, I'm constantly using hand sanitizer on my hands because I'm serving coffee, but then I'm also maybe like, picking up garbage and doing, you know, you're just doing things. And when you're done with that gig, I mean, first of all, my favorite thing to do on a Sunday is wash my hands after pop up, just because I hate the feeling of all that sanitizer, like, starting to build up on my hands and just, you just kind of have this patina of. Of being out there for a, you know, and so I definitely didn't want to be just racing from there and, you know, setting up tables and breaking down tables and doing all this stuff and then like, rushing to, like a roller skating party. Down south. So anyway, I was like, I really need to take a shower. So my plan was always to rush back home and take a shower and then go to this party. And I just had enough time to do it. Maybe if I'd be a little bit late. That was always the plan. It was always a little stressful. Then we got a puppy. But that shouldn't really affect things much because Genevieve is usually home during this time. Because whatever. She'd be home usually. But for reasons I'm still uncertain about, she decided to take my complicated afternoon and complicated a little bit more by booking a special, like, some sort of hip hop dance class workout thing, which is ironically. Told you is a boring story. Which was ironically. Are you kidding me?

[Co-host]

This is one of the best stories I've heard on this show in easily months.

[Luke Burbank]

So I think a friend of hers wanted to do this thing at this place that she often goes on Sundays, which, coincidentally is in the same exact neighborhood, literally blocks away from where I volunteer. But usually she goes in the morning and then comes back with the car. And then I finish making all the coffee and hot chocolate and stuff, and then I take the car and I go back to the same neighborhood and I do my volunteer gig. It's this little. This little dance we do every Sunday. But this Sunday, a friend of hers said, forget your morning class. Book the afternoon class with me, and we're going to learn how to dance hip hop and maybe do ASL interpreting, too, if I learned anything from DTF St. Louis.

[Co-host]

DTF St. Louis.

[Luke Burbank]

And anyway, so I'm like, well, okay. Well, that really complicates things, because if you have a dance class at the same time that I am going to be doing my volunteer work, who's going to be watching after Lucy? And then Genevieve said, we can get our friend Katie. Now, Katie is the person who listens to the show. Katie says that she can come by and dog sit for us during this time. And I'm like, oh, okay, great. That's really nice of Katie. And then it turns out Katie also had the help of our friend Anita to kind of make it a little bit more fun. Both Katie and Anita came over and took over puppy responsibilities for us. And also Katie brought her adorable little dog, Poppy, who I'm in love with as well. So we left the house, and I drove Genevieve to her dance class, which was very near my papa. And we left behind two puppies and two human beings in our house. And they all had, like, this puppy play date, which was a huge, huge favor to Us, I would say really a huge favor to Genevieve because I already had my day booked. She's the one who added the hip hop dance class to it.

[Co-host]

Let's be honest. You're helping the unhoused, and Genevieve is learning how to do the Electric Slide. Exactly which of these is a higher order of human compassion. But anyway, before anyone gets at me, I understand the Electric Slide is not part of the current hip hop dance canon. Just all I could think of.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that's of course not the dynamic. It was just a little bit like, I already had this really quick turnaround that was going to be really difficult for me to get out to this party in the kind of West Seattle or White center area anyway. And it's like, oh, now I have this complication. And the truth of the matter is, although now I'm admitting it to the people involved, is I didn't feel comfortable leaving Pop up because Genevieve would still be at her dance class for like, an extra half hour or something. That would mean I would have to come home and what was going to be an incredibly fast shower run in my house, shower as fast as I can, grab the birthday gift, run out the door. I didn't feel like I could do that because there were two people puppy sitting, plus their puppy, plus our puppy at the house. And I just knew if I were to come and see Anita and, you know, the dogs and see everybody, I would be like, oh, well, I can't just say, hey, Katie, thanks. Get out of my house now and lock up the dogs. I gotta go. Like, it would just be really rude. And so I was like, I just don't feel like I can go back home and make this quick turnaround. And so I was like, I'll pack my gym bag and I'll just go to 20 or to my Planet Fitness, which is up north. It's even further north than my house. Now, the kind of bummer here is I was already south of my house and the party was even further south. I had to drive more night to drive past my house all the way, you know, about an extra mile, maybe a quarter of a mile, I don't know, to my gym to walk in there on a Sunday. And I will tell you what, Luke, I felt, I don't know if guilt was the. I felt a little like some weird mixture of, like, guilt and shame as I came in and nodded hello to the person who's always at the front desk when I'm there to work out and just sort of thinking, she knows, she knows I'M not here to work out. And should I take extra time in the shower so that they think maybe I did a quick workout in the back of the gym. It's like I pay for that shower. I pay my membership. I'm allowed to take a shower there. I would take a shower if I worked out. If anything, they're saving money by me not being on an elliptical for 40 minutes or whatever it is. So anyway, it just felt weird though. It felt weird going in there. And I also learned that Sundays are not the days that they clean the bathrooms or the showers in there. It was so nasty. There were clumps of human hair in one of the shower. Like human hair. There were like wet socks and washcloths and just crap all over the floor in the shower area, including these like fistfuls of human hair. I do not know what goes on in there on Sundays.

[Co-host]

It's like when I wanted to use the bathroom in the gym at Becca's building. Oh yeah. Because it was an embarrassing time for me. And I just walk into the gym, I mean fully in street clothes, which nobody does there because it's the gym in the apartment building. People show up there in their workout gear. I'm in like a full, like a coat. And then I just beeline it to the bathroom. And it's one of those kind of gender neutral. You lock the door, single toilet bathroom. So there's no mistake about where I'm going. There's no, like I'm in a stall, but other people can still use the bathroom. Just completely take the place over, just do a complete paint job and then walk back out fully in my non workout clothes and just leave the gym. Like there was zero question in anyone's mind what was going on for me that day.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's a good point. Mine was a shower and it wasn't like the. It wasn't like I just went in there to. To go to use the restroom. Which I guess would be maybe a little bit worse, I think.

[Co-host]

But this is interesting to me, by the way. I don't think you made the wrong decision. You made the wrong decision to admit to it on the show.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Co-host]

But you did not make the wrong on that Sunday. Cause I totally know what you're talking about. And even though you and I, I think, are different in a lot of ways, I think we're similar in certain ways. And I would have also been kind of mapping out the whole day in my mind. And I would have been thinking about the social obligations and implications of coming home. And being not, like, you know, not really being a host, not being as kind of friendly or as casual as I wanted to be because I'm in a rush to get somewhere. So you figured this out and made this plan before you ever went to Pop Up. Like, you had your clothes, you had this all set up in your car. You had to. Because. Couldn't have just decided after Pop up because you wouldn't have had any of the stuff you needed.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And I gotta say. And maybe you can hear it in my voice. And I love Genevieve, and she handles so much of the just important household responsibilities. I am always loathe to kind of complain, but I will say that on this Sunday, I was a little bit like, really? You're booking this class? It was already going to be a very. Not very problematic, but it was going to be a challenging scheduled summer for me. I already knew that months in advance, you know, and. And it was on the calendar. And add the puppy factor. And literally the day before, you're like, you know what? I'm going to take this hip hop dance class in the afternoon while you're doing your thing, and we'll get some puppy sitters. And I was kind of like, okay. Like, I was a little bit. Like, it was already tough. It was already going to be a tough turnaround. But I got to say, I mean, again, I didn't. I'm not saying I pouted about it, but it was a little. You know, I was like, okay, all right, whatever. And then when I'm driving home after my friends and I'm just reflecting, it was a really good time. And I got to see.

[Co-host]

Did you roller skate?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I didn't. I think.

[Co-host]

I think rollerblading is way harder than roller skating. And you were doing that.

[Luke Burbank]

It's funny, somebody said. I got into a conversation with somebody who worked at the roller rink, and she said the opposite. She says, I think rollerblading is way easier. So I don't know. It seems I can roller. I know what you mean. Like in line. Two blades. Yeah. Seems harder. But I gave. Did I tell you that I gave away my rollerblades? I was like, yeah, I'm.

[Co-host]

I'm sad to hear that.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a failed experiment, but I gave it a go. I really tried. I really tried. It wasn't for me. And I just feel. I just feel a little. I just don't have very good flexibility. I had a good time, I gotta say. I got to see my friend Paul. It was his birthday, who I know from high school. And Our friend Debbie was there, and I know Debbie from high school as well. We weren't super close in high school, but she was part of my larger group of friends. He was turning 50, and we're both about to turn 50. And it was like, I got to say, I was driving home, thinking about how stressed I was about getting there and everything, and then nothing ended up being that big of a deal. Did I have to look at some clumps of human hair in order to take a shower to go? Yes. But did I quickly forget about it and just get to drive home and just think, like, what a world that at age 50, I'm driving home and just spent a couple of hours at a roller rink with people that I've known for 35 years or whatever, and here we all are together, living in a city that we all love. I don't know. I was just feeling like. I was feeling almost a little emotional about it. About, like, man, big chill feelings. You know what I mean?

[Co-host]

Yeah. Well, you said something on the show the other day that, like, I was thinking about today on the flight here to Boston, which was. You said that you think as you get close. I was reading that. The Murakami's book, what I talk about when I talk about running. Which boy, you want to talk about something hitting me where I live. First of all, in the book, he's about to turn 50, and he. I think anywhere he's approaching 50 at one point, he's writing about. And he just. The way he describes it, I thought was so eloquent, as you might imagine. And then also, he's a serious runner, and he's doing all his running in Boston. And I'm, like, here on my way to Boston, but because he's musing on aging and stuff. I was thinking about what you said the other day about how, like, you think your life might be better at 50 than it's ever been before and how. Or, you know, just the fact that you have, you know, a partner who you love and friends and this home that you love and a dog and a cat. It's just kind of like. And a podcast that you love to be a part of and a coworker who's one of the best coworkers you've ever had in your life.

[Luke Burbank]

Why do I remember this?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Co-host]

Now, I heard a lot of this from memory. No, but just like the fact that you were talking about how you feel so kind of lucky that at this part of your life, whereas, you know, aging Is a. Oh, that was the thing Murakami said that I thought was so profound. He was like, for all of us, it's. For all of us, it's our first time getting old.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

So we don't know how we feel about it. Like, it's. We haven't done it before, you know, like, it's like Tim Robinson. I've never been to this level before, doing the egg video game. But this idea that. Like, this idea that when. Yeah. You know, aging is a weird thing because it's our first time doing it, so we don't exactly know how it goes. We don't know if we like it or not. We didn't know. Just like a lot of unknowns because we're not. I mean, whatever. I guess, unless you believe in reincarnation in some weird conscious way that we essentially. This is the first time we're all doing this. And so it's natural that we would have a lot of sort of. We wouldn't have a ton of clarity around it about how we feel. But I was thinking about how you're, like, feeling pretty good about being 49 and then being 50. I thought that's really a cool way to be. And I was like, I need to take some of that energy, you know, and kind of. And steal it from you and not

[Luke Burbank]

give it back to you and steal your energy.

[Co-host]

Yeah. So then I feel good and you feel bad, you know, a lot of.

[Luke Burbank]

First of all, I love that. What I like, what I think a lot of it stems from for me, and I. I do remember saying that, and I'm trying to remember in what context I think it was because I was watching a bunch of high schoolers go to high school, and they all seemed. From a distance, they all just seemed well adjusted. You never know anybody's journey. But just seeing them with their backpacks walking into high school just gave me that feeling of how high school. Even during my best years of high school, I had some pretty bad years and then I had some really good years where I made a lot of friends and had to hit a. Just bragging here again. But I was just very lucky to end up having a very rich social circle by the time I graduated, which I felt very, very lucky to have, not having those kinds of friends most of my life. But it still was always sort of clouded by this feeling of anxiety I had over just the schoolwork, you know, and having to go in and having to be accountable. And also, I don't know if I said this on the show, but this is another thing I said to Genevieve when I was having that sort of reflection. Watching these kids go to school was also just. I had less control. I had no control over my life at that time. You know what I mean? Now I had more control than I did when I was a little kid. And certainly in my junior and senior year, I was spending a lot of time in coffee shops and I, you know, my parents. I had a lot of freedom to kind of come and go. I was staying out late. I was experimenting Luke with all kinds of substances. No, I mean, like, honestly, I. The reins, definitely robo tripping. Well, that would come later, but it's

[Co-host]

more of a college maybe less autonomy

[Luke Burbank]

would be a good feeling, more of a college man's experience. But anyway. No, but even then though, you still had to come home to your parents house. You know what I mean? You had to worry, do I smell like cigarette smoke? And again, some of those things are good. You need those strictures. There's a reason why we're raised the way we're raised. But the older I get, even in pure adulthood, Even in my 20s and 30s, I still think that the older I get, the more autonomy I get. Because you and I are, again, kind of lucky to have this job, which makes us, you know, like, financially we're not in a terrible place. I don't have to. I think this all started talking about, like, I think this on yesterday's show. Like you're, you know, my car would break down so often. You just literally living paycheck to paycheck, which I know a lot of people our age are still in the situation that they're dealing with. You and I are just lucky that that isn't our life. I'm assuming for you that is the case. I don't know what your situation is or how many debts you have stacked you up.

[Co-host]

And you can never know.

[Luke Burbank]

We signed that in the.

[Co-host]

Pray to God you never find out.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but you know what I mean. I just sort of feel like, you know, I'm in a relationship where, yes, I want to discuss things with Genevieve, but for the most part, like, I am fully autonomous as a, as a. As an adult at age 49. And I feel really, really lucky for that because I felt always like I had to answer to other people in my youth and in autonomy as you know. And I think maybe like, not just autonomy, but, you know, kind of having what's. What I'm looking for boundaries in my life is kind of important to me, you know.

[Co-host]

Well, that's the funny part, too, is you. I think those are, well, the autonomy thing. I guess I don't think about that a lot for you, but I do think about the boundaries thing because you, and we've talked about it on the show, you are, you know, if there's a thing that you are not interested in doing or something that just feels like it's not going to be for you, you're pretty good about saying, yeah, I'm gonna pass on that, or whatever, you know. And so it's funny because it sounds like you've got really, you've really got it going on both sides of the coin. You got a lot of freedom. And maybe these are the, in the words of Janie Jimplin, maybe freedom's just another word for having boundaries. Jackie Jormchomp Sing Dem White Girl Blues the Jackie Jormchomp story. I think at one point they cycle through Janie Jimplin.

[Luke Burbank]

Do they go through a whole bunch of different names?

[Co-host]

They're trying other non Janis Joplin names. But yeah, I mean, I guess they're kind of two sides of the same coin, which is like you're in control of your own life and certainly in a partnership with Genevieve around your life together. But then also you have gotten to the point where you're not doing a bunch of stuff you don't want to be doing because that would also not feel great to you. And so you've kind of got it figured out, which I'm happy for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you. You'll get there someday.

[Co-host]

Well, I'm at a Logan Airport Courtyard by Marriott, so I can go to the Lizzie Borden house tomorrow and do an interview about serial killers and true crime. So I'm clearly making excellent decisions for my life. Hey, speaking of very quickly, because the listeners were on a real cliffhanger about if I was going to be middle seat of the airplane flight out here, if I was going to get to the promised land of the front of the airplane. And I am happy to report I was magically allowed into the, into the inner sanctum of the front of the airplane. So I flew out here, thankfully. So that meant that, that meant it was not a horrible flight at all. In fact, it went by pretty fast. I kind of think. I like early morning flights.

[Luke Burbank]

What is it, five hours? Five and a half?

[Co-host]

I think it's a, you know, they, they said it was six hours and 20 on the, whoa. On the, on the, you know, like the details of the flight. But I think they're building in time for pushing back and Kind of like, you know, driving around on the, the tarmac and stuff. So I think the time in the air was about five hours or something. But it went by quick because I kind of. I didn't fully sleep, but I snoozed a little bit, you know, and then they, you know, again, if you're lucky enough to be up front, they bring you a little food or something. And so it went by relatively quickly. But I just want to. Now here's the problem. As I was talking to you, Andrew, I got the update on my phone. I can check in for my flight tomorrow.

[Luke Burbank]

The second you landed, you could check in for the flight almost.

[Co-host]

And so that one, I'm also, I'm not middle seat, but I'm definitely not in first class and I'm definitely not even in the nicer part of the plane. So the game begins again. So we'll see what happens with that. The other thing too, and we've already established that I'm one of the best co workers that you've ever had. And I think the reason for that is because, you know, I'm a guy, Andrew, who is. Promises made, promises kept. That's something a lot of people, including my ex wives, know about me.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I mean, I think it's legally in court papers. That's how, that's how rock solid it is.

[Co-host]

Exactly. In various states. But I promised you last Friday that I would absolutely forget about what you had learned about the honk if you're horny bumper stickers. And not only did I forget on over the weekend, I forgot Monday, I forgot Tuesday. I would have forgotten on Wednesday if you hadn't hit me with an email going, oh, yeah, we gotta talk about that.

[Luke Burbank]

I forgot too, because the only reason I know was because I got a note from listener Jamie in Marilyn that said, oh good. So did I refrain from googling the story all weekend just to have you ghost this story on us and into the week.

[Co-host]

Deep into the week.

[Luke Burbank]

So do you want to talk about that now or after we do the dazzling.

[Co-host]

Let's do some dazzlers and then let's talk about that. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Co-host]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

Get set, get set now. Ready, Ready, Go.

[Co-host]

Everybody razzle. All right, let's go ahead and thank those dazzling donors. The reason, Andrew, as you just stated, that you and I have the very really huge privilege, honestly, of like having this as a job and getting to have the flexibility that we have that we can, you know, I can do this weird TV gig and fit TBTL into my life and that you can, you know, take secret showers and have money for a gym membership. Secret showers does sound like a show that would have been on after the Red Shoe Diaries on Cinemax.

[Luke Burbank]

It does. I like the. I actually like this as a pitch, like, just to keep, you know, just to let listeners know we are living humble lifestyles while, yes, securely. But I am showering at a Planet Fitness, and, like, I don't. I can't afford the. The membership that allows me to go to any Planet Fitness. I can only go to the one on North Aurora.

[Co-host]

That is.

[Luke Burbank]

That is a true story.

[Co-host]

And yet we are so grateful for all of this. And it's because of the donors, the people who voluntarily give money every month out of their checking account to the TBTL account, which then becomes my salary and your salary and John Sklaroff's salary. And again, we're really, really appreciative of this, and we're thankful to folks like Ian Kohler, who's in Seattle, Washington. Ian says, hey, Cobras. Another year, another belated donor message. 2025 was another year full of highs. I traveled to France, Germany, Austria, and England with my beautiful wife and my patient 11, Steph. We bought a house. And on top of that all, we'll have a new five coming in June. Are you kidding me? Where's my air horn? There you go. There it is.

[Luke Burbank]

I had it right there. Yeah. Do I have Hannah's? Oh, here. I got Hannah. This is official. Ah, dang. There we go.

[Co-host]

Congratulations, Ian and Steph. That's incredible. I appreciate everything you guys do. I'd be a very different person without TBTL in my ears. Since 2012, it's been a wild ride, and I hope it continues for another 4,000 episodes. So that's interesting. Ian is a person who's been listening to the show for a long time, but. But it was a podcast only by the time Ian got here. So I always wonder about that difference in. You know, I find it sort of, like, remarkable when people are like, oh, yeah, I've been listening since the radio days because I'm just like, golly, that's so many episodes. The show's been through so many permutations. You know, we've really kind of settled in on a groove now with this whole thing. But then I'm also interested in the people that found this as a podcast and listened to it and said, oh, yeah, I like this because I guess the radio Thing almost makes a little more sense to me because it was on the radio. You turn, maybe somebody was a Cairo listener, it was just on and they, you know, just get in their car and that's the station they listened to. And they maybe were kind of like, I don't really know what this is, but they were not, they didn't, they didn't hate it enough to change the radio station. And then we kind of won them over. The podcast only thing is like Ian had to seek us out. Ian had to download something or stream something or click on something and then had to hear it and then had to think, yeah, I like this. So, Ian, that's amazing. Thank you for that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, thank you, Ian. Do appreciate it. That's one of the things I do miss about radio is that sort of just sense of discovery, you know, I do, I know I've said that the show before and I appreciate everybody who discovered us as a podcast, but it means that something led you there. You had to make the conscious decision of typing it into a search engine or at least clicking on a tile, right? And then, and then hitting play on it. Whereas there are some people who were just kind of driving at night and just like flipping through the radio and they're like, are these people frying fish in a studio? What the hell is going on?

[Co-host]

And the answer was yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Sadly, not no.

[Co-host]

Indubitably. So, Ian, thank you so much and huge congratulations to you and Steph for the ending fivedom, you know, that buys us. You want to talk about do this for another 4,000 episodes? That's just what we need. We need some younger listeners.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Co-host]

Maybe you have, I don't know, an allowance or something.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm just saying we've got just access to your iPad. Honestly, like, whatever.

[Co-host]

We have got to get some, some young people in on the sponsorship model so we can keep doing this for another 4,000.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what we need to do? We need to change the TBTL logo to look like the Roblox logo.

[Co-host]

Oh my gosh, Andrew, this is the

[Luke Burbank]

best idea I've ever had in my life.

[Co-host]

That's honestly pretty genius if we want the children of America to donate money to us without their parents knowledge because they think it's Roblox. I've told this story a million times, so I'll try to keep it brief, but I was interviewing this kid doing a TV story about this kid named Ryan Nanny. He lives in Hawaii with his family, he is a YouTube star and he got famous for opening toys and Playing with them. And the channel generates millions and millions of dollars or historically has very well set up family. Oh, by the way, nice people, really good parents, I think. Not the kind of parents that seem to be taking any kind of advantage of their kid. But this kid Ryan, who is, you know, himself. His. His videos have really, for the family, made, I don't know, in the. In the millions and millions and millions of dollars, took me aside during the interview and said, I have $200 on Roblox. He was so psyched about his Roblox money. I was like, kid, wait till you hear. Wait till you hear about the real bucks. But for now, have fun with that. So, no, that's a really good idea. We have got to. We.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's.

[Co-host]

Oh, gosh. Don't do it, Luke. Don't do it. Does an Aer Lingus flight taking. This is what I. This isn't even what I'm not supposed to be doing, Andrew. This. I'm doing this in lieu of what I'm not supposed to be doing. Does an Aer Lingus flight taking off from Boston feel a little on the nose?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. What do you mean?

[Co-host]

That's the official airline of Ireland. I don't know. I feel like I was in Logan airport and I saw, like, four people wearing Irish pub T shirts from different Irish pubs. I feel like an Aer Lingus, which has a huge shamrock.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you looking out the window and what is going on?

[Co-host]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Co-host]

I'm looking at the Runway of Logan.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, you're looking out the window.

[Co-host]

Oh, I did in the open of the show. But I think there was a little technical times there for you. You weren't able to hear everything I was saying. So I am. My hotel room looks at the Runway of Logan Airport. So I'm just watching an endless stream of airplanes land and take off, which I actually find quite hypnotic. Hypnotic. And I enjoy. But there's something. I mean, Boston is so Irish coded. I feel like I just walk in here. I feel like I land at the airport. I start hearing the theme from the Departed in my head. So here's the thing that I wasn't gonna talk about, which was as I was walking through Logan, or really as I was waiting for the airport or for the hotel shuttle, which. That was a whole other situation. I did not want to. When I landed at this airport, I knew I'm staying at the courtyard that is the Logan airport courtyard. In other words, it's the airport hotel. I was like, I betcha I can Walk to it. But sometimes things can be, you know, with like airports and Las Vegas, you know, kind of things can be deceiving. Stuff seems like it's close, but it's really far away. And so I was like, I don't want to be that guy walking on the side of the freeway with my Google Maps out, pulling my luggage behind me, because it looked like the hotel was just right over across there. But actually I have to cross, like the Runway to get to it. What I also didn't want to do was get an Uber or a taxi cab to take me to this. And the reason was not for me, not for my convenience, for once, it's for their day. Because sometimes at busy airports, the people that do ride share or the people that drive taxi cabs will wait in very long queues to finally get a fare. You know, you might wait for an hour just till a call comes up and then you can come pick this person up. And if somebody had waited for an hour in the taxi line to get a fare and I was having them take me 0.8 miles, that would really be kind of rude of me and mean to them. So I was like, I'm gonna do the shuttle. But, man, that was. I was waiting. I had so much time to wait for this shuttle. So finally. So while I was waiting for it, I should say, I was looking at like, TikTok and I was watching a story. This is the thing I wasn't gonna talk about, but it's Roblox related. And it was a kind of a. It was a sort of a. I'll try to be general about it, but it sounded like a story where a husband and wife who had a family. The husband had become part of an inappropriate messaging relationship with somebody on Roblox. On the. I don't even know what. I don't even. It's kind of like Minecraft, but for kids, younger kids. Is that how you understand Roblox?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not sure. I have a question for you, though. Was this about RFK Jr. And who was the journalist? No, I don't know. I think Roblox is. Here's what I think I understand about Roblox, but this is really just frustrating for most listeners who haven't have any idea. But it's my understanding that Roblox is also for. It's a game that's sort of aimed at kids, but I believe sort of a gateway to a whole collection of games. Because I've been like, you know, we have friends with kids. And I remember Being at like a ball game with one of them and she was playing like some games on her phone. But they look like different. Very different style games, you know, like, one was literally. She was dressed. I think she was dressing up dolls in one of. And another one, she was, I don't know, marble or something. I don't know. But. So I think Roblox is sort of like, you log into Roblox, but then you have access to a whole bunch of games. That's.

[Co-host]

Well, what I was struck by was I think of Roblox. Obviously I don't know anything about it, but I think of it as being something that's geared much more towards young people.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think so too. Even more so than. I mean, listen, I'm not saying that adults like me should be proud of spending a lot of time playing Minecraft, but I get the impression that Minecraft, because it can lead to success. Some complexities in the game that it seems like Roblox is really for young people. I have never heard of adults kind of continuing to play Roblox. I could be wrong.

[Co-host]

Well, that was the thing. So this married couple, they're in their 40s or whatever, they're fully adult people again with children. The husband, the allegation goes, is in Roblox, and he's messaging with someone and someone who's underage. And the wife, like, one of the kids sees the dad has Roblox, he's in the grocery store, and the kid's like, why are you on Roblox? And he's like, I'm not. He's like, trying to delete the account or something. And then the wife just casually says, well, like. And so then I called the FBI and like, they couldn't. They. They were like, we. We've been trying to figure out who he was talking to, but we can't. And without the evidence, we can't go forward. And then she goes. So then I logged into my Roblox account and I hunted him down. And I was like, you have a Roblox account too?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'm with you because I was assuming again, given I've told you everything I think I know about Roblox, and I'm sure I got a lot of it wrong. But I thought the story was gonna be like, yeah, this guy was trying so hard to kind of bury his tracks. Is that the right word? Or bury your tracks or whatever. That he specifically went onto a platform that adults wouldn't use to have this liaison. But no, the wife is the.

[Co-host]

She casually at the end of the. This is not like a Dateline NBC, but it's some version of that. And she just casually mentions that she. Then she was like, I woke up. I remember it was June 2nd and I said, I've got to find this girl. And meaning the person that her husband was messaging with who the FBI couldn't locate. There was no allegation of any in person interactions, by the way. For what that's worth. That makes this whole story a little less triggering.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait again, why is it. Wait, why is it a story? It's a prominent person of some sort.

[Co-host]

No, it's just. This is. Andrew.

[Luke Burbank]

This is. The story is just because it's Roblox

[Co-host]

related why I'm telling the story. Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

If I. If we get into a habit of asking each other why we're telling stories on the show, we're going to be in a lot of trouble. No, I wouldn't neg you like that. I'm wondering what was the news peg? If it's just a. If it's just a. If it's a couple that nobody knows just having an extramarital affair.

[Co-host]

That is now much like us being allowed to host this podcast that is now. That is now the minimum threshold for us listening to somebody's story. And it has to do with the fact that I may have scrolled to the actual end of the Internet by way of TikTok to where it's. These people were not particularly famous. They were just. But there's a lot of these videos that'll pop up that are just kind of like, you know, true story, I caught my husband doing this, or true story, I almost lost my leg to an alligator. It's just kind of people just being interviewed and kind of talking about their real lives, which on a certain level you have to kind of get. It's got a sort of Studs Terkel esque realism to it.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I just told a story about taking a shower in a Planet Fitness, so I think we should both be a little bit careful here.

[Co-host]

But what I was just struck by was that like, not only did the adult father have a Roblox account, but then casually the wife was like, well, then I logged in and she was very proud. Again, you know, we don't like. I don't want to sound like I'm telling people how to live their life, but the story was one of triumph where she had logged into her Roblox account and then done some Internet sleuthing and then found the person in question and then and then basically, you know, led to her husband ultimately being arrested for these messages. I just. When you said, this is why I was saying don't get into it, Burbank, just because you just heard about Roblox while you're waiting for the hotel shuttle. I did pull kind of a. I pulled a. I don't know if I'm going to tell you what I did and you tell me if it was a shady move or not.

[Luke Burbank]

Can be. Can we just stay in Roblox for one second though, before we move away for it? Because I want to say two things. Things I wanted to know what like kind of the Internet/AI overview or whatever would say if I typed in do adults play Roblox? And I forgot that I had all caps on. And do you ever do this where you type in a. First of all, that's a pretty unhinged question anyway. But then when, when you see your own question at all, just yelling it, just screaming right now. Google things. I just searched do adults play Roblox? Which is like kind of, can I

[Co-host]

play Roblox as a grown up?

[Luke Burbank]

I've done that with other things too. It's just like, oh, caps lock is on. I know it doesn't matter. I'm only sending it to a Google search engine.

[Co-host]

It's like I've screamed at myself. It's really unsettling.

[Luke Burbank]

It really is. But it does say many adults play Roblox. And again, this is the AI overview says, in fact, users age 17 to 24 are the platform's fastest growing demographic. So that's.

[Co-host]

And I'm sure we have listeners who do. So I want to be careful because I'm not trying. I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do with their life or how to spend their time. But. But I am gonna quickly tell you then we're gonna get to our next dazzling donor. I want you to know I do have some sense that we're doing the show stuff. Oh, and you gotta get to the baseball game, so I gotta be kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, and I gotta tell you about honking if you're horny.

[Co-host]

I think it'd be funny if we just move that to like next Wednesday.

[Luke Burbank]

Except I kind of really wanna tell you this. Cause I wanna know if you know what I think I now know.

[Co-host]

No, I'm actually very excited about that. This is the last thing I'll say. And then I'll thank a dazzling door. Then I won't talk for the rest of the show, I promise.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, it's Fine.

[Co-host]

But this is what happens when I fly cross country and have, like, seven coffees on the airplane. It's like I come in a little hot.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa. Delta will stop serving snacks and drinks on short flights. I'm just seeing this headline from the news.

[Co-host]

I saw that headline today, but I didn't delve into the story. But, I mean, they, they, they. They pickle hid me.

[Luke Burbank]

They hid the pickle. Yes, I'll send it to you. Maybe this is for tomorrow.

[Co-host]

Whoever was like CNN or something, they did that exact thing. They were like, delta canceling this perk that has flyers up in arms. And I was like, I'm not going to reward you with that. Click.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you.

[Co-host]

So I did not want to bother a Uber, Lyft or taxi driver to bring me this very short distance to the hotel. So I call for the shuttle, or I call to ask about the shuttle. And they said. And the person, I can hear them say to the shuttle driver, she goes, where are you at? And I said, the area. And she goes, do you have your luggage? And I go, I absolutely do. She goes, okay, I'll send him. And so I can hear her say, guy through. Like, she's holding the phone by her mouth. And she says to the guy, all right, go over. Go over to whatever, get him. I was like, oh, this is actually pretty good. Like, a guy's coming to get me. 45 minutes go by, and the. Finally, the shuttle pulls up and it is packed with people. So it's clearly stopped every single other. Which it's. That's the shuttle's job. I just somehow had it in my mind that she was sending the guy for me because she was like, like, do you have your luggage? I was like, yeah, I have it with me. And she was like, okay, go over to 8115 or something. So I was, you know, it was a little. This is how I had time to watch about people catching their spouses trying to cheat on Roblox. I had a lot of time sitting there. But anyway, so I get on the shuttle. There's one. There's like maybe one and a half seats left on this bench kind of area towards the back. And I go. And I sit down and I'm going along. And then. And so I'm kind of. Again, I'm a little bummed that I didn't just do the take a ride share or something or even walk or whatever. But now I'm on this shuttle, and I realize there's a new problem. There's 20 or 30 of us on this shuttle, and we're gonna arrive at the hotel at the same time.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, sure, you gotta be near the line.

[Co-host]

And I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be the last person in that line. So not only has this already cost me an hour of my life and an amount of dignity I'll never get back just from the Roblox story. Like, I'm also going to be at the back of a very long line of people trying to check into this hotel. So this is what I did. This is such a. Such a sketchy move. We picked up two more people, and I shot up. I stood up and I walked over to the handheld thing, and I let them sit down. And Andrew, when I tell you I was the hero of that fripping shuttle

[Luke Burbank]

bus, it looked like you were giving them their seats.

[Co-host]

It looked like I was giving them

[Luke Burbank]

seats, but really you were getting.

[Co-host]

I was taking evasive action.

[Luke Burbank]

Pole position.

[Co-host]

I was getting pole position. So it was like I was doing something that seemed nice, but totally for selfish purposes. And then somebody said there was still. I said there was, like, one and a half seats. And so, like, basically there was still enough seat that I could have sat back down, believe it or not. And someone said nicely, this couple I found from South Florida, they said, oh, there's still a seat here. We can scooch over. And I said, I've been sitting for six hours.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Like, I was like, you're. Nobody's getting me to sit back down. I am.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm on this suckers game, as Genevieve would say.

[Co-host]

I'm holding. I'm holding. I'm a. I'm a. I'm a strap hanger. I'm like a New York City strap hanger. I'm holding onto this, like, arm strap. And by the way, I'm subtly moving to the north end of this shuttle. No one's even figuring it out. I'm having. I'm chatting, I'm having conversations, I'm listening things. I'm doing all this stuff, but with one intention, one goal, and that is to be the first person off of this bus. And Andrew, I was. And I checked in first, and they said, room with two queen beds. And I said, no, can I have one with one king bed? They said, we're absolutely sold out. I said, all right, I'll take two queen beds. The guy who came in next to me, who had been on the shuttle, throws down his stuff, like, you know, his cards and whatever. He's talking to the guy or the woman, and she says, this Reservation was for last night. And he goes, what? And she goes, yeah, your reservation was for last night. He goes, I don't have a reservation for tonight. She goes, no, it was for last night, and we're sold out. And that's the last thing I heard, Andrew, as I glided him in line. I could have been behind him, or I could have just been him in line. You know what I mean? That's not outside the realm of possibility. After all of this, I could have gotten to this hotel, and I could have found out that I made the reservation for last night. So that's the end of that story. And that's the way I'd like to think Ian, for his dazzling donation and say to you, maestro, thought you're gonna get me, huh? If there was a day.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you were slowing it down. You were like. And I will say to you, you were, like, purposely teeing me up to make sure I could have my finger on the butt.

[Co-host]

I felt like you deserved at least that after 45 minutes of me just bouncing off the walls here during our dazzling donor message from Ian. Look who it is. Is. It's Audrey Houseman in Akron, Ohio.

[Luke Burbank]

Audrey. Teal House on. Oh, still Teal House. Yeah, they're still running the Teal House there, right?

[Co-host]

Hold on. Let me get on. Let me get on the gram. Yeah, Because I'm a follower. Because I love it out there. I love it. I love. Let's see. Hold on. Oh, gosh, Stop it.

[Luke Burbank]

I think what I was confusing was for a second, I thought that Audrey and husband slash partner Ryan. Right. I think I have that right off the dome. They have a great account of this kind of. Of this house. What do they. What do they call it?

[Co-host]

It's outside of House on the Hill.

[Luke Burbank]

House on the Hill.

[Co-host]

What do you call the name?

[Luke Burbank]

It's a homesteading. Not homesteading, but they kind of are like, documenting their little, like, mini farm.

[Co-host]

And, well, they call it homes. I'm. I'm on the page. It is active, and they're calling. They call it Lake House Homestead.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. I just was uncomfortable because I thought I was misremembering it. Okay. That is the word a little.

[Co-host]

This is the Description. A little 1964. A frame with the wonky teal deck.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so cool.

[Co-host]

It's the coolest and cutest thing ever. And of course, I think it's okay because I feel like we've mentioned this page in years past. I don't think that Audrey and Ryan would have a problem with people coming following Them, but it's just all kinds of cool stuff. It's projects, it's their animals. Looks like Audrey got a horse at some point. It's just a very life affirming feed and would recommend it. And so Audrey says, I tricked a very cool organization into giving me a new job this year. I now lead marketing and communications for the Conservancy for Cuyahoga Valley National Park.

[Luke Burbank]

Pew, pew, pew pew pew Pew Pew,

[Co-host]

the strategic nonprofit partner that supports Ohio's only national park, Cuyahoga Valley National Park. Did you know Cuyahoga Valley National Park, Andrew?

[Luke Burbank]

I have heard of it.

[Co-host]

Ohio's only national park.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I don't think I knew that.

[Co-host]

That, that is very cool. And Audrey, what a cool job. I'd like to use my dazzling time to remind the tens that you can protect and preserve national parks via friends groups like the Conservancy. For most parks, an official friend group offers programs, volunteer opportunities and options to directly support park projects. Now this is interesting. I'm wondering, I don't want to, I shouldn't freelance here, but the Conservancy for Cuyahoga Valley National Park. I've done some work over the years and some volunteer stuff with various like Land Trust conservancy organizations and what they tend to do. I wonder if this is similar to what Audrey's helping with, which is the, like, there'll be pieces of land that are maybe owned by farmers or by whomever and then they work to raise the money to buy those pieces of land to keep them wild and natural in perpetuity. That's kind of how a lot of conservancy works. So anyway, Audrey's doing communications for the Conservancy for the Cuyahoga Valley for Cuyahoga Valley national park and is encouraging all of us to get out there and support our parks. That would be a good idea because everything I'm reading about the parks is that this particular administration is cutting staff. And just here's the problem. The current president, not outdoorsy, not a guy who has a lot of great memories of going to Old Faithful, so therefore does not value that for other people's lives.

[Luke Burbank]

I see him outside a lot in like golf carts and stuff, so.

[Co-host]

Well, you know what, that's a good point. He does, he does go outside, but only to the golf course, not to like a national park, you know, and so I think, I think because of that he doesn't think that these, I mean there's some crazy stories coming out of like some parks in Washington state and stuff. That are just, you know, they've got, like. There's one that's got one ranger now for this, like, massive, you know, I don't know how many hectares it is, but this huge park and they have to just like, try to fly around in a helicopter and try to look down from the helicopter to see if things are okay because you can't like, walk the park or drive the park as one person and have any sense of what's going on. So, anyway, anyway, it is a tough time for our national parks and anything we can do to support them is much needed. Audrey, thank you for supporting tbtl, another endangered species. That's not true, actually, but something that always needs help. Tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Thanks, Audrey and Ryan, we appreciate you.

[Luke Burbank]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Co-host]

Okay, Andrew, let's get to the bottom of this once and for all. The bumper sticker that says honk if you're the one that comes to mind because I'm a perv is honk if you're horny.

[Luke Burbank]

I do believe that's the original. I think I. In doing a little bit of reading around about this, it seems like. It's like, I don't. I don't have it officially, you know, confirmed anywhere that that's the original, but it seems to be. People think that the original bumper sticker was honk if you're horny, but you'll just see anything like honk if you like pizza or anything basic like that. And then. Then in more recent years, in the past 10 years, there's been this sort of, like, meme of having very long, long, elaborate, like, bumper speakers, hyper, hyper,

[Co-host]

niche musical style that you're listening to or I think I saw one. Oh, God, I'm gonna butcher this. But it's like, is it Alice Coltrane did these sort of ecstatic.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the first one I saw was the Alice Coltrane one. That's so amazing. Although. So I'm now realizing that's a different one that's saying honk all you want. I'm listening to The Alice Coltrane 1971 meteorotic sensation, Universal consciousness or whatever that bumper sticker says. I'm trying to Google quickly here. That's a little bit different. That's right. But originally, and I think this seems like a 1960s or 70s thing, right? It's kind of like road culture or whatever. You slap it on the back of your VW van and it says, like, you know, honk if you honk if you like Pall Malls. I don't know what they were doing in the 70s. But the thing is. Let me just ask you a question. When you. Let's just go with the pizza one, right? Because this is how the example as it kind of bubbled up on social media recently. This is something that I was reading about on Blue sky, and a lot of people were saying, oh, my God, I never realized that I was sort of missing the joke on this. And this has been sort of something that has kind of bubbled up a few times in recent months. And there are two camps of people. The people who sort of take the joke on its face and the people who think there's a little bit more to the joke. Joke. Let me ask you. If you're behind a car, it has a bumper sticker that says, honk if you like pizza. What do you think that means?

[Co-host]

Well, I would take that to mean if I honked, they would take that as an indication that I also appreciate pizza.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. And that's basically how this whole thing sort of bubbled up on Blue Sky. Somebody wrote, you know, there's a whole bunch of people out there that see a honk if you like pizza bumper sticker, and they think it just means, honk if you like pizza. And all these people are like, yeah, that's what it means. What else could it possibly mean? And I'm actually going to actually, give me one second, I'm going to read to you exactly what one person said it means, and then I will explain it in more common language. But I did like this response. All these people are like, it just means they should honk if you like pizza. And I should honk because I like pizza. And somebody wrote the person with the bumper sticker is a bad driver and people will honk at them for their driving indiscretions. Regardless, the bumper sticker is a meta joke that recontextualizes their honking to mean they like pizza. So let me put that in a little bit more common parlance. Look at my brain. That's what everybody is saying at Blue Sky. So let me put that in just more common language. What it means is that the original joke was, you're a bad driver. People are honking at you all the time. You put that bumper stick around your car so that you can interpret their honks as being like, oh, you like pizza too? So that you can just continue to go about your day being a bad driver without thinking too much about it.

[Co-host]

You're horny. That's why you're honking so much.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, Exactly. You're not Honking because I'm just switching lanes without any turn signal or care for the cars around me. It's just like it's re. It's as that tweet says, it's recontextualizing the honks around you to kind of make the joke on them. Oh, you'd like pizza, Great. I'm gonna take this left turn.

[Co-host]

That also, by the way, that makes so much more sense than just putting a frickin bumper sticker that says honk if you like pizza. Because if you think, I mean what you have just stated, Andrew, is clearly the correct answer.

[Luke Burbank]

Is it clearly to you? Because I think it is too. Especially if the original was horny. That adds another level to it too, because it's kind of like it's not just I like pizza and we're in this pizza loving club together. It's kind of. It's an admission on your part. Oh, you want to honk at me for being a bad driver? Guess you're just horny back there. Guess you're just admitting that you're a horn dog.

[Co-host]

Here's how I know that the purpose, if you will, the intention that you're describing here about the bumper sticker is the correct one. And that is no one likes being honked at on the road. It's an unpleasant experience. And no one would put a bumper sticker on their car that says like honk if you like cool summer breezes. You know, all you're doing is inviting a negative experience to happen over and over again. Now here's what I think. I think that it totally started off exactly what you're saying, which is, is a way, like you said, of recontextualizing the honking. Like I'm gonna assume to. I'm gonna. I'm gonna assume that you honking at me means you love pizza. But then, as is so often, as has happened to me with my whole Wait, wait, don't tell me gig, where in the early days people would say luuuke when I would come on stage. But then over time, new people were in the theater and they thought, oh, this is the guy we boo at. And now it's just people saying boo urns. It's just mostly people booing because the joke has kind of mutated over time.

[Luke Burbank]

I would, but never in this scenario. Do you think it's just because your performances have gotten worse.

[Co-host]

Impossible. It's an statistical impossibility, sir.

[Luke Burbank]

Just wanted to make sure.

[Co-host]

But here would be my guess. Actually, you know, we could check. This would be an interesting thing. Maybe I'll check in with her. Addie had a bumper sticker for a while on her car that said, honk if you're boring. Which was from some, of course, you know, cool. I don't know, not art person, but some graph, you know, it was like, from some, like somebody who's really in on all the jokes or whatever and is very cool and hip. But, like, I wonder if she. I remember her putting on her car but not asking her, like, what do you. What are you going for with that? I wonder what her thought was, because I was gonna say, I bet you that over time, well, about 50% of the people, I guess, have lost the plot and thought it was, I like pizza. Other people like pizza. Let's put a bumper sticker that says, honk if you like pizza. But no, of course, of course, the intention was to just create a backstory for the honking that made you less culpable as the driver.

[Luke Burbank]

There was a bumper sticker, and I know that this is not it because it was way more clever than this. And it was on one of our colleagues cubicles at American Public Media. But it wasn't a colleague that we knew. Every now and then, Luke, do you remember we would be over there and then we'd have to have a basement. We'd take a meeting in the basement. Yes. Do you remember that they would call it the garden room or something like.

[Co-host]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And there was some desk down there and I don't know who was working down there. Some maybe like kind of a business side person or something. But they had a bumper sticker that you could see when you walked by. They said something like. You can tell that I'm trying to remember. It was something like, don't honk if you love minimalism. Or something along the lines of that. It was so much better than that, though. But like, Sklaroff, if you're listening and you happen to know the bumper sticker I'm talking about and remember it, get at me. I'll try to clean that up for tomorrow. It was such a good bumper sticker. I wish I remembered it better.

[Co-host]

That's really clever, but no, Andrew, you know what? You have pressed my flabbergast button.

[Luke Burbank]

That really I was flabbergasted to.

[Co-host]

Absolutely delivered. Absolutely delivered. And so. And was it Jamie in Maryland?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I believe it was Jamie who

[Co-host]

texted me who was holding off on Googling this. I hope it was worth it, because it was worth it for me. That was really interesting, and you're totally right. I think you're right. And whoever wrote that on the Internet is correct. All right, let's go ahead and wrap her on up here for a Wednesday. Here's the amazing thing. Lord willing and the creeks don't rise. I'll be right back at the Madrona Hill studio tomorrow bringing you some more

[Luke Burbank]

of this imaginary good, because I have no idea what you said the last, like, two minutes. The Internet connection so bad.

[Co-host]

It was a lot of hurtful things, Andrew. I would if I were you. If I were you, I would not go back. I would not do the black box reconstruction. It was a lot of. There's a lot of personal attacks on you that I don't actually stand behind.

[Luke Burbank]

Just focus on the fact that he's saying something, not what he's actually saying.

[Co-host]

That's right. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall, and good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Power out.