#4722 Where The Sideburn Ends

Summary

TBTL Episode #4722: "Where The Sideburn Ends" — May 7, 2026

Overview

On this lively Thursday installment, Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh settle in for an episode that revolves around community updates, youthful baseball, and winding podcast digressions—peppered with their signature banter, baseball knowledge, and idiosyncratic tangents. The show deftly covers everything from Major League Baseball’s expanded interleague schedule and the triumphant/tragic travails of the TBTL Junior Sluggers Little League team, to nostalgia-driven asides (air fresheners, infamous TV theme songs), birthday reflections, and the philosophical underpinnings of listener support.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Luke's Return, Beans, and Bostonian Vibes (01:02—03:26)

• Luke returns from a quick, whirlwind trip to Massachusetts and jokes about adopting the full Boston sports fan persona: "I'm wearing a Boston Red Sox hat right now... Celtics shirt, some Boston Bruins sweats, and then I have my Patriots slides on." (02:57, Luke)
• Andrew notices a suspicious bean stain: “Beans are, like, right on the corner of your lips.” (02:45, Andrew)
• The segment sets a light, irreverent tone for the episode.

Baseball Deep Dive: Mariners, Interleague Play, and the Vetter Cup (03:47—08:47)

• The hosts lament and dissect the oddity of current MLB scheduling, focusing on the Seattle Mariners’ unusual frequency of games with National League teams, especially the San Diego Padres (the so-called “Vetter Cup”).
• Andrew offers a brief history lesson: “There was a rule change about three seasons ago... now they're playing a lot more interleague play.” (06:37, Andrew)
• Luke reminisces about the pre-interleague era: “There was a time when... you did not have teams from the American League playing teams from the National League during the regular season. It just literally didn’t.” (04:51, Luke)

TBTL Junior Sluggers Update: Triumphs, Superstitions, and Coach Ben’s Dispatches (09:15—24:28)

• The highlight of the episode features a detailed update from Coach Ben on the Junior Sluggers, aka “the Jalapeños.”
• Highlights include:
  • A big win over the Parkside Scorpions, powered by “plating” five runs in the first inning (10:19), and crafty Little League double plays.
  • Luke’s fascination with baseball stirrup socks and the iconic coach fashion of the 80s/90s. “I could have seen myself for a period in my adult life going, my new thing is I'm wearing stirrup socks all the time... But not now. Not anymore.” (17:16, Luke)
  • Lighthearted exploration of equipment and washing superstition: “Since the streak began, I've insisted on wearing [my knee-high green stirrup socks] for good luck. Though I did accede to my wife's suggestion that they be washed between games.” (18:12, Coach Ben, as read by Luke)
  • A tough loss against the Vipers due to changing base-running rules, prompting speculation on youth sports rule evolution.
• Andrew and Luke riff on baseball lingo, traditions, and the emotional swings of youth sports.

The Great AL .500 Paradox & MLB Trivia (24:29—32:33)

• Conversation segues into the odd fact that, as of May 2026, only one team (Yankees) has a true winning record; most AL leaders are hovering at or below .500.
• Andrew quizzes Luke on division-winning teams with losing records; they consult baseball history and explore playoff structures.
• The segment seamlessly blends trivia, personal baseball memories, and the “Hit It Again” Mariners hype song from 1983 (29:36).

Tangents: Bumper Sticker Mysteries, Movie Reviews, & Listener Dazzling Donors (36:08—58:44)

• Andrew’s memory is tested as he tries to recall an old Minneapolis public media bumper sticker, triggering a search-and-reminiscence segment.
• Luke detours into a review of the Sam Rockwell film “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die,” praising its premise while lamenting its ending: "He is a bald, hairless, wide-eyed, shirtless child who is sitting Buddha-like atop a mountain of coaxial and USB cables...the most heavy-handed, absolute disastrous mess of an ending of a film that's otherwise really good that I've ever seen." (49:39, Luke)
• Listener Chad (Reverend Chad) and Amy are honored as “Dazzling Donors,” with Chad reflecting on UU ministry, community, and divinity without doctrine: “I do believe we create a sort of divinity in community. It doesn't have to be a traditionally religious community...The point is that being human together can be tricky...when we walk that path together, we can find better ways to live with kindness and compassion.” (57:00, Chad)

Blursday Messages & Birthday Discussions (61:38—75:53)

• The hosts read and riff on listener-submitted birthday (“Blursday”) messages, leading to personal and communal reflections on celebrating milestones.
• Luke confesses: “I feel very fine about the idea of being 50 years old. I would like to get through the part where everybody's asking me how I feel about being 50 years old.” (63:25)
• Some listeners (notably Brian, the King County Metro bus driver) receive multiple, heartfelt shout-outs.
• Amusing sidebars on birthday cakes vs. cookies, and the pressure of answering “what kind of cake do you want?” when you don’t care.
• A running joke: “Whatever flavor white is.” (75:26, Luke)

The Great TV Theme Song Confusion (80:04—85:55)

• Luke and Andrew scramble (hilariously) to attribute classic TV theme songs to the correct band: “I thought for sure that was the other one...I can’t keep their names in my head at the same time.” (84:06, Andrew)
  • They ultimately untangle that Barenaked Ladies did The Big Bang Theory and They Might Be Giants did Malcolm in the Middle.
  • A fourth “stool leg” is added: The Presidents of the United States of America, who performed the “Cleveland Rocks” cover for the Drew Carey Show.
• This segment epitomizes the show’s lively blend of pop culture confusion and listener-relatable moments.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (Approximate Timestamps)

• “I'm proud to be brainwashed. I’ve got a clean brain. You could eat off it.” (00:50, Luke)
• “If you have leaking podcaster foot...you cannot rewear those.” (19:48, Andrew)
• “This season has taken me places I've never been before. I've never had a winning record this late in the season.” (13:45, Coach Ben, via Luke)
• “It is such a gift when we have a moment where we think our brain is broken, but then we realize, no, the brain is working.” (35:10, Andrew)
• Andrew’s confusion on Casablanca: “You know the one with, frankly, my darling, I don’t give a damn…” (47:48, Andrew)
• “We talk about a weird pairing of things... Tony Soprano, like looking at something while Rogue Wave is singing Eyes. You talk about a weird pairing of things.” (94:19, Luke)
• “I have so much hair back then. Okay. I look like a hedgehog.” (87:50, Luke, after seeing himself in an old commercial)

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Key Timestamps for Reference

• Baseball/MLB Interleague Play – 04:12–08:47
• Little League/Jalapeños Update – 09:15–24:28
• AL .500 Paradox Trivia – 24:29–32:33
• Listener Dazzling Donors (Chad & Amy) – 36:08–58:44
• Blursday/Birthday Section – 61:38–75:53
• TV Theme Songs Segment – 80:04–85:55

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Listener Engagement & Community Vibe

Throughout the episode, the hosts are fed and fueled by listener feedback and community spirit:

• Coach Ben’s detailed, funny, and self-effacing Little League roundups, including fashion and superstition.
• Listener messages celebrating birthdays, new babies, career changes (especially Metro driver Brian), and life lessons, reinforcing TBTL’s role as a virtual community anchor.
• Dazzling Donor section’s philosophical openness about belief, connection, and mutual reliance.
• Playful, accessible banter about TV, sports, and pop culture, modeling the quirks and charms of modern podcasting.

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Conclusion

This episode demonstrates why TBTL, despite—or because of—its digressions, enjoys lasting affection: listeners are heard, shared experience is honored (both sublime and ridiculous), and the hosts invite self-deprecating humor into the everyday. Whether you’re in it for the baseball, community, or just the “big, fat, hot, juicy beans” (00:25, Luke), there’s plenty to love—and plenty to laugh about—in this collector’s edition.

Power Out.

Transcript

[Andrew]

Uh, Alex is here buying some gifts for her baby.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really? What's the name of that cutie? Lucien. Lucien. You named her baby Lucien? I did, yes. That's my lizard's name.

[Andrew]

What a small world.

[Luke Burbank]

He passed away recently. He was run over by an ice cream truck. Sad story.

[Andrew]

Tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

I was just fixing to get me some grub. Beans. I love beans. Big, fat, hot, juicy beans. Now, don't get me going on beans, or I'll be jabbering away till the sun comes up. Could you crawl back out of my mind?

[Brian]

Please understand that nothing personal is intended here against anybody.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't hate these artists.

[Andrew]

I'm not trying to say that God hates them. And I'm certainly not trying to get you to hate them.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm proud to be brainwashed. I've got a clean brain. You could eat off it.

[Andrew]

I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who

[Luke Burbank]

said, you have reached the end of

[Brian]

your free trial [e-mail].

[Luke Burbank]

what a wise man. What's on the agenda, my friend? All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. This thing is not normal. It is weird. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. First things first. I love my job. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Bring it back home, baby. Bring it back home. Yes, Back here at the studio after a very, very quick jaunt over to Massachusetts. And now I'm back home. It's a beautiful Thursday. It's gonna be like 80 degrees. It's blue skies. Oh, Ma.

[Andrew]

Pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful somehow. Agreed to run in a 5K today down in Portland, which. Which I guess I'm kind of looking forward to, but also I'm wondering if it was a good decision based on some physicality that's going on for me right now, which maybe we'll talk about here on episode 4722 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. We've got an update on the TBTL Junior Sluggers, Kids and fantasy, also known as the jalapeno Jalapeno.

[Andrew]

They've.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, they've been continuing their winning ways, which is. Which is kind of fun to see. We got an update from Coach Ben. Also, it's a Thursday, also known around here as a blurs day. So do the blurs day messages and we'll say hello to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his Depictions of the tall ships. He's got, like, every meme ever produced on the Internet. He can knock us out with his memes. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew]

Good morning, Luke. Wow, that trip really changed you. The listeners can't see you, but you're wearing a Boston Red Sox hat right now. I see, like, a smudge of, like. It looks like beans are, like, kind of right on the corner of your lips.

[Luke Burbank]

All around my all. Or actually, the outside of my lips is just smeared with Boston bacon.

[Andrew]

It's just like. Like, Steve Buscemi. Whatever Adam Sandler movie that is where he puts Happy Gilmore.

[Luke Burbank]

Happy Madison. No, Happy Madison's the production company, I think.

[Andrew]

Happy Gilmore. You're wearing a body Madison.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that's Billy Madison.

[Andrew]

Billy Madison. Yeah, your Celtic shirt. I thought it was a supersonic shirt, but it's not.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's Celtics. I'm wearing some Boston Bruins sweats, and then I have my Patriots slides on.

[Andrew]

And you begged me to start the show with a live video version of a Pearl Jam song. For some reason, I don't know how that ties in. Wow. I gotta say, pretty good. Man, that was fast. Drop.

[Luke Burbank]

It's actually a drop kick cover of a Pearl Jam song. How's that for you?

[Andrew]

Now I. People are like, wait, why are you mentioning a Seattle band as a Boston reference? But there was a Bill Simmons. It was a. Based on a Bill Simmons conversation we had a couple of weeks ago. He is deep into Boston in sports stuff, but also starts his podcast with a Pearl Jam song. Anyway, I just wanted to explain myself so that people weren't confused. Like, you live in Seattle. You should know that Eddie Vedder is a Padres fan. Wait, what?

[Luke Burbank]

Do we have one more Vetter cup this season, by the way?

[Andrew]

Yeah. They're like, no.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, they consider it.

[Andrew]

No, they.

[Luke Burbank]

It's got to be once.

[Andrew]

No, what they do is they. Because I think they're. I think the first series.

[Luke Burbank]

How is it that we have two series against a National League team?

[Andrew]

No, because they're.

[Luke Burbank]

It just.

[Andrew]

Don't make me explain things to you that I hate. But what they actually do is they take. Nobody is awarded the flaming guitar of victory, which is like, I get. Didn't Cal Raleigh win a guitar or something last year from the Vetter Cup? It's a. It's like the final outcome of all the matchups between the two teams throughout the season.

[Luke Burbank]

I just. I mean, not to go baseball talk on it, but it's Just, I'm so. I mean, there was a time when I, when I was growing up. Okay, you did not have teams from the American League playing teams from the National League during the regular season. It just literally didn't.

[Andrew]

Literally never once, not one. I thought there was just. I thought they would sprinkle one or two about, but maybe that's just what I started watching.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Not that I remember. I'm talking from, like, maybe the 80s. I don't know when, when interleague play started, but I remember it being a big thing. Like, hey, they're gonna do interleague play. Isn't this gonna be fun? And okay, that is fine. And it's, you know, kind of. It was more entertaining when there was no designated hitter, by the way. That was, that was what I looked forward to was like, can Randy Johnson hit the off speed stuff? You know, like, what did they, you know, when, when suddenly a team like the Mariners that doesn't have their pitchers ever hit, they'd have to get up there in the first couple of innings and at least, you know, make a futile swing at the ball.

[Andrew]

We're just talking about this because Felix had a grand slam.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Felix has like, one of the best batting, one of the best batting averages. He's like, he was hitting.301 season or something like that. Or maybe, right. Career, career season. He's hitting.300 because he so rarely had nap bat and he grand slam, grand salami time.

[Luke Burbank]

But all that is to say the idea that, that it also doesn't help that San Diego is really good this year. The idea that we're not just playing them three times, which is like, okay, that's fine. We're playing them six times just so we can have the Vetter cup have a little more what juice. Like, it's just, I mean, that's. I. Again, this is just such a. Major League baseball scheduling is maybe the least interesting place we could start this Thursday episode of the Show. But that being said, is it normal for an American League team to play a National League team six times in the same season?

[Andrew]

Two series. Two series does seem unusual now. You know that there was a rule change of, I'm going to say about three seasons ago, everybody was really focused on like the, the extra base runner, the pitch clock, the extra base runner, I mean, in extra innings, the pitch clock, all those changes. But there was a change that went along with those, you know, somewhere in those years that also opened up the schedule a lot. And again, this is about two or three seasons ago. So like instead of, like, instead of the Mariners playing the Rangers like a million times. Like, I can picture I wake up sometimes the middle of the night with Rough Ned o'. Door. Is that how you say his name?

[Luke Burbank]

I'll never know.

[Andrew]

And honestly I never want to, but it's just like, remember we would just see.

[Luke Burbank]

This guy's name was Rough Ned Oder. And he also loves to fight people. Have you seen the videos of Roughned Oder punching players on the field?

[Andrew]

No. He's a brawler. He looks like a brawler. He has that big beard. But it's like the fact that you

[Luke Burbank]

have a name, I guess you're gonna fight people.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I mean, he's a roughneck. But anyway, I, Yeah, there are, anyway, there were so many like weird team players from teams that I shouldn't know. Except that the Mariners would just play their divisional rivals so many times in the season. But a few years ago they opened it up and now they're playing a lot more interleague play. Which at first I was like, I don't know if I like this. I kind of like to this idea of seeing our rivals all the time. It's a change that I really have appreciated. Like, I love going to. I saw the, I saw the Mariners play the Pirates last season or something. You know what I mean? Like, you get to see different teams that you usually would. And I think it was a good change.

[Luke Burbank]

I did too. I'm looking at the AI overview of this. It's way more than I would have thought. As of in 2026, each team will play 48 interleague games. That's a lot.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So I, I, I think of it as like two times a year you might play a National League team, but no, it's actually a lot. And There is featuring 16 series of three games each against opposite league opponents, including four games against a designated geographic rival. So that's what we're, that's what we're getting with the Padres. Although I feel like maybe they're stretching it to six games. Right. Because it's two series.

[Andrew]

Think so. I was trying to figure out how many times they.

[Luke Burbank]

Because if we're, we played them three times, right. And then we're going to play them. We're not having a one game.

[Andrew]

Oh yeah, we're playing them coming up. We're playing them in like a week. Right. What's today? The seventh? Yeah. A week from. A week from tomorrow, man. It's that Padre series and it's a three game series. And then I believe Luke Then we will crown somebody with an electric guitar. Eddie Vedder's favorite instrument.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. He's well known and beloved. He's up there with Steve Vai and Yngwe Malmsteen when it comes to just guys who just absolutely shred. Actually, you know what, speaking of baseball, why don't we just. Why don't we knock this out here? Because we're apparently in the baseball section of the show. We've got a little update on how the Junior Sluggers have been doing this, courtesy of Coach Ben. Of course. Junior Sluggers are a Little League baseball team in the Parkside. A Little League of Portland. Coach Ben says, on Thursday, your TBTL Junior Sluggers took the field for a rematch against the Parkside Scorpions, a team we narrowly beat in our season opener. That first game was a true nail biter with the lead seesawing all the way to the end. This time, not so much. The Jalapenos came out hot, as is tradition. Plating, I love, by the way, I feel like plating, that's. That feels like a relatively new term to me for describing scoring runs. And I love it. Like I feel like I didn't go.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard it except for in these updates or maybe right this very moment.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I feel like I'm hearing it more from announcers occasionally. Like they plated five runs. I like it. I think it's kind of. It's kind of cool. Plating five runs in the first inning. Well, I'll always take runs however we can get them. There wasn't a ton of hitting on display early, mostly because the Scorpions pitcher was having a tough time finding the strike zone, issuing seven walks. We added another five runs in the second inning, this time in a much more satisfying fashion. Nico, Atlas, Nemo and Crosby all recorded hits supplemented by a few more walks and a couple of hit by pitches. It was frankly a rough day for Scorpions pitching. On the flip side, the Jalapenos pitching was dealing nice. Yeah, love to hear it. It's like Brian Wu getting back back to his old self. Andrew. It's a relief to see this happening for the the Jalapenos. Amos got the start and kept the quietly dangerous Scorpions lineup off balance, striking out three and allowing just one run over two innings. The defense backed him up in a big way. Atlas made a heads up play at home to tag out a runner and Armani and Zaya teamed up for flyouts. A flyout caught off base, double play. I just Love. I know this sounds like I'm being a little patronizing, and I don't mean to be, but I just love that the Jalapenos are catching the ball out of the air. Does that make sense? That's a big. There's an. There's a. An age of baseball where if a ball is hit in the air, it's unlikely that someone will be catching it before it touches the ground. You're just not quite there with spatial reasoning and glove technique. So when I hear about double plays where someone's catching a ball out of the air and then going to the base where the runner is, you know, lollygagging or whatever, that's pretty cool.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I do not trust that I would be able to do that. That's for darn sure.

[Luke Burbank]

So you're. You don't want to go with my. I thought this would be a fun bit. Next year, I moved back to Seattle for the summer and we start a softball. A softball team together. I think it's called the Senior Sluggers. I do like about how the Senior Sluggers and Junior Sluggers did.

[Andrew]

I only play. What do you. What. When you're referring to softball versus baseball, don't they call it, like. Don't they call baseball? It's not hardball, is it? I only play hardball, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that is. No, that is.

[Andrew]

Am I right?

[Luke Burbank]

That is.

[Andrew]

Would you say. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I think that's. I think that's accurate. Like hard. I mean, when you say hardball, I know the size of baseball you're talking about, and I know how hard it is. I also know what it feels like if it hits you when a coach is pitching during an All Star tryouts and it hits you in the middle of the back and then you cry. It's very embarrassing and I notice, like

[Andrew]

to have Chris Matthews yell at me. Me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, precisely. Let's see. That gave us a chance. The. Over the next few innings, we teams traded runs, but the Jalapenos built a comfortable 14 to 5 lead, which gave us a chance to get Ali, an eager but still developing pitcher, some time on the mound. Ollie battled through some struggles, showing great resilience while allowing four runs and picking up a strikeout. Scorpions threatened briefly, but the comeback never quite materialized. Final resort. Final result, 14 to 9 jalapenos, high scoring games, bringing us to 4 and 3 on the season. Now, if you're scoring at home, Andrew, and I know you are, that's two more wins. This is me, not Coach Ben. That is Two more wins that we had all last season.

[Andrew]

It's all coming together. It's all pretty cool.

[Luke Burbank]

That's pretty hustle Pins went to Amos, Atlas and Nemo this season. Now this is back to coach Ben. This season has taken me places I've never been before. I've never had a winning record this late in the season. And by late I mean anything after the first week. I've never coached a team with a three game winning streak. Hell, I've never even won three games in an entire season. This run of success has pushed me deep into superstition. The superstition that so often comes with sports. I'll admit I've started attributing some of our success to a new pair of knee high green stirrup socks I recently added to my coaching uniform. Please tell me, coach Ben, that you're wearing these with shorts. That is the ultimate coach flex that I remember from my days. Not my coaches, but some coaches would like, you know, the stirrup socks under the baseball pants kind of makes sense. It was a look in the 80s and 90s, but every once in a while you'd get the coach that had on. They used to make these shorts. They probably still do. They're made out of the baseball pants material, if you can picture that. So you know, the baseball pants are like a, some kind of a performance fabric. They're a little rough to the touch and it's probably so that you can get them dirty and then they can be washed and they'll get clean easier. Like they're not comfortable. Like you wouldn't make normal pants out of this material and just wear them for fun. Like they're made sort of specifically for playing baseball. But they started making shorts out of the same material. And these shorts were definitely like, they were sort of. How would you describe them? They were, they were high and tight. These, these were not baggy shorts. These don't look like what we think of as basketball shorts. These would. They were always worn by a certain kind of dad slash coach. They were always far too tight and far too high up on his legs. And then every once in a blue moon, you'd get that same dad slash coach with the stirrup socks on, just for fun, even though there were no pants covering the stirrups.

[Andrew]

See, this is what's interesting to me. I, I don't. I've never seen the top of a stirrup sock. I just assumed they go all the way up. I thought they go all the way to heaven. Wait, how, how high? Because a stirrup sock you wear. You have a regular sock on and then you put the stirrup sock on. It's like those stretch pants of the 80s, right? Like, you have the stirrup that goes underneath stirrups.

[Luke Burbank]

That's legit stirrups. What they started making at some point were socks with the stirrup printed on it.

[Andrew]

Oh, it's just a design element.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just a design to save you. Like, I didn't grow up using real stirrups in baseball. I grew up wearing a sock that had a stirrup printed on it, like, which is for people that don't know. It's just like a straight line that's going down the sock over your, like, ankle and down kind of, you know. And that was just, I think my first season of baseball, maybe Greenwood Boys and Girls Club, we had legit stirrups. So you put on your sock and then you pull this little thing over it, which is the, the stirrup, the decorative stirrup. At some point it started just being printed on the sock.

[Andrew]

I'm looking at these now, which means I'm going. And I'm actually on the, like, Google shopping tab. Instead of images, I am seeing some. I mostly, though, I'm seeing actual real stirrups. But now I'm seeing maybe they're back, though, like, with the printing. Like, you're talking about the, the kayfabe. I call them kayfabes. But I know now that I am going, I'm going to get like, there's something about these types of socks that really I find a bit upsetting. I don't know. I got some weird things with feet, I think. And so I know that I'm going to be getting a lot of targeted ads. I'm going to be scrolling.

[Luke Burbank]

That'll be good.

[Andrew]

Seattle Times. I'm going to have a whole bunch of these, like, cheap ads for, for stirrup socks, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

I just also think it would be a very interesting. And I could see myself. Not anymore, Andrew, because I'm past such childish things. But I could have seen myself for a period of my life and in my adult life going, my new thing is I'm wearing stirrup socks all the time. Like just under my, you know, just with like, jeans and some tennies. But just like, if you, if you were to clock my socks, you'd notice that just happened to be athletic socks that have stirrups printed on them. And that was just going to be my little, kind of like my little flex. That would have been a thing that I would have done at Some point, but. But not.

[Andrew]

Not now.

[Luke Burbank]

Not anymore. No, I'm leaving that to Coach Ben because here's what he says. He says, since the streak began, I've insisted on wearing them for good luck. Though I did accede to my wife's suggestion that they be washed between games. Alas, baseball is a fickle mistress superstitions.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Coach, we.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Andrew]

We wash the things that need to be washed?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, that's. I mean, listen. I mean, one of the most honored traditions of baseball superstition is complete and totally ignoring, Completely and totally ignoring hygiene when we think it is causing us to have good luck. I mean, not washing the uniform is a. That's a time tested tradition on how to get a winning streak going.

[Andrew]

But at what cost, though? Are wins that important?

[Luke Burbank]

Create a certain marital alienation?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That is just the idea of putting on dirty socks. I could put on a pair of socks, wear them for under two minutes, take them off, they're never going back. They're never going back home without a toss in the washing machine. There's something about it. They just. They're immediately sullied.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I am somewhere in between Coach Ben and you in this, which is sometimes. Yeah, I will. Like, this is. This is weird. So sometimes what will happen is I'll decide to take a nap in the middle of the day, and I don't like to take a nap with my socks on because my feet get very uncomfortable. So I'll take the socks off, but I'll realize I only put these socks on like three hours ago. And all I've done while wearing these socks is podcast. So like, I went on my run, I took a shower, I got dressed, I came out here to talk to you. We did the show. Maybe I worked a little bit more on various things, and then it's nap time. Now, these socks, the socks have not been subjected to any rigorous activity.

[Andrew]

But you got podcaster foot.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen, I've been taking medication for that and it's been somewhat effective if.

[Andrew]

If you have leaking podcaster footman, you cannot rewear those.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, Coach Ben says, let's see, I learned this. He's talking about baseball being a fickle mistress, by the way, I learned this in the most heartbreaking way on Saturday when the Jalapenos faced a rematch against the Vipers, the first place team in the league. We took the team. We took the field with high hopes. Our bats were hot and our ace pitcher, Crosby, had the start. For the first three innings, things were going according to plan. Crosby Threw an absolute gem, striking out nine. What is he. Emerson Palmer? Oh, this is. I'm. I'm kind of scrolling down in the email. I guess they put Munoz in at the end. He couldn't hold. Was that Cross did a great inning by a great start by Crosby.

[Andrew]

Crosby had the nine strikeouts.

[Luke Burbank]

I got a nine strikeouts. I got to tell.

[Andrew]

Can we get Crosby on our fantasy team?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Seriously. The Paul Sked of striking out nine while lying just three hits in one run. Unfortunately, those base runners all came around to score, due in part to a rule change. It took effect May 1, allowing for much more aggressive base running. That's interesting. I wonder. I'm just speculating here, but I wonder if maybe you're allowed to start your steel earlier now than you were before because there's a level of youth baseball where you cannot leave the base as the baserunner until the ball has crossed home plate.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay. Oh, that's interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

And then eventually you get to where it's just like Major league baseball where you can run at any time under the risk of getting thrown out by the catcher. I wonder if maybe. I wonder why that seems like real chaos. Ball, though. Like, I wonder why there was a move to loosen the base running rules. Those kind of exist for a reason.

[Andrew]

But, I mean, they're. They're getting older, right?

[Luke Burbank]

They're aging, I guess, but it sounds like this was new to this season.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

[Luke Burbank]

He said as of May 1, it's like a vote in the league and said point. Let's just have more chaos on the base paths. But yeah, okay, you know, whatever. Listen, whatever builds interest in the game. They're just trying to stay competitive.

[Andrew]

We got to get the next generation of viewers.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly, exactly, precisely. Here we go. Let's see. The threat was offset by offensive performances from the Jalapenos. Nico Amos. Crosby and Atlas continued their hot hitting streaks. Fox, T Bone, and Nemo. God, we got some names on this team. And Nemo kept drawing walks, each with an almost sixth sense of the strike zone. And Victor, new to baseball. Remember, Victor was a wild card, I believe. If I'm remembering right, Coach Ben said Victor was one of those kind of mystery box players who maybe, I don't know if Victor didn't actually come to the tryout or was for some reason under evaluated in a way that meant Victor could also be a breakout star.

[Andrew]

He was signed on the couch.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, precisely. Love that. So let's see here. Victor is starting to find success at the plate through three Innings, the Jalapenos had plated six runs and held a comfortable three run lead. Then the fourth inning happened. Armani was initially scheduled as my closer. Both scratched the last minute due to illness. Instead, Niko was called upon to carry the team to victory. A big responsibility for any player, especially without time to mentally prepare. Niko's generally a reliable strike thrower. Struggled to find the zone, issuing some walks. I wasn't helped by a sun baked defense which allowed a couple of very playable pop ups to fall for hits. The result, baserunners chaos and the ensuing pandemonium of stolen bases and runs. Kudos to Atlas who stepped up big time as catcher, snagging everything thrown his way and keeping runners honest at third. At one point in a pickle, he made a valiant, if unsuccessful leaping dive for the tag. He also had a bang, bang, force play at the plate. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to stop the generation of Vipers. Yes, a group of Vipers is a generation. They rallied in the bottom of the fourth and they won on a walk off. Final score, Jalapeno 6, Vipers 8. Hustlepins went to Crosby for his pitching, fox for stealing home on a breathtaking run, and Nemo for his ever present positive attitude. The loss deflated my ego just a bit, but that's baseball. Even the greatest players fail more often than they succeed. I'm confident the Jalapenos will bounce back and more victories lie on the horizon. We continue our journey this Wednesday. That would be yesterday with a rematch against the Parkside. Canned corn. I'll be there in clean stirrup socks.

[Andrew]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Stay spicy. Coach Ben out.

[Andrew]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

We absolutely love that update from Coach Ben. Hey, you know What? I'll take four and four. Listen, would that the Mariners were 500.

[Andrew]

And this leads me to. And you know what I was gonna say. I'm not gonna apologize for it. No, I will apologize for it for the people who don't like it. But we're gonna do it anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not gonna apologize for apologizing.

[Andrew]

You know, that's. That's one of the things. Things I used to play when St. Gotts was on the Levitar show, which is so weird that he's just not anymore. You know, he's got his own show now, right? On like some fox.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we talked about it a little bit and I just don't think it'd be like if they broke us up. Andrew. I just think the secret sauce is something about our interactions and simmering hostility that makes the show good.

[Andrew]

Will you Please shut up. I'm trying to tell the story separate.

[Luke Burbank]

Just don't like. I don't like either one as much without the other.

[Andrew]

No, I know. And also the weird thing is they, like us, claim to be kind of transparent and like kind of doing it all on the air, except they've never stug has, you know, kind of. He's acknowledged it a little bit on his show, but, like, we never found out. Why did Stu guys. Why did they end a 20 year partnership? Because I think there's. I bet you it's kind of nasty. I bet you there's legal stuff and contractual stuff, you know, like with sponsorships for Stu's segments and stuff. But it's so weird. The LeBatard show, where, you know, Dan LeBatard always prides himself on being transparent with his listeners, has not acknowledged as far as I know. I stopped listening a while back, but I still follow the scuttle. But has not, like, explained, like, why this partnership just kind of fizzled away. It would just be like if you and I, if I just started being on the show less and less and then. And then eventually I'm just not on the show anymore. And you never explain why Andrew has gone off the show. All of that is the same. I was thinking about him because there was a drop they would play of him all the time. He said he would say, I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing for that. Which is just like the most Dugatz thing you can possibly say. So I am apologizing for this if you don't like baseball talk. But I find this very interesting. And I want to talk to my buddy Luke about something here because I have a little trivia question for you, and it's based on baseball winning records. As you just mentioned, The Jalapeno slash TB Tail junior sluggers are now at.500 with four wins.

[Luke Burbank]

That was supposed to be the Jalapeno drop. I need to really work on my Jalapeno. I really need to work on my titling these drops.

[Andrew]

So they're four and four. So they're at.500. Neither a winning nor losing a record. Which reminds me of this year's American League. Been having this conversation with some friends. As of right now, the only team in the American League with a winning record is the New York Yankees. The Brock. The Brocks Bombers, as I like to call them. But that's amazing. And so the Guardians, they beat the Royals yesterday. I was catching the end of that game. So the Guardians are leading the AL Central with a.500 record of 19 and 19. The Athletics are leading our division with a record of 18:18, which led me, Luke, to ask the Internet yesterday a question. Has a Major League Baseball team ever won their division with a losing record? Luke, what do you think the answer to that is?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I think probably in the expanded playoff era, I would say I don't think it could have. Statistically. I don't know if it could have happened when we only had basically divisional winners. There was no wild card. But I'm guessing in the wild card era, it's possible.

[Andrew]

It's possible, but it has not happened. According to the Internet, it would have happened in 1994, but then the strike happened, so there was no postseason. That would have been the only thing. Or the other team that is closest is the 2005. And, Luke, I don't want to trigger you here, but I'm going to say it. The 2005 San Diego Padres. I know you hate them. I know, I know, I know. With the Vetter cup thing, and you're all. I got you all riled up again, I'm so sorry about that. In 2005, they had an 82 and 80 record. 82, 80 and 1 record, it looks like here. So. But this is where AI is saying they had a below.500 record. That is not below.500. That is a winning record. But it's close.82, 80 and 1.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to play you this thing that my friend Spring sent me because we've been talking about baseball and. Hold on, I'm going to kind of cue it up. This is one of these things I'm trying to play from the Internet, which is, you know, just usually impossible. I'm trying to get through to YouTube. Help me out here, Internet, please. This is. I don't know if we've ever played this on the show or if you're aware of this, but this was the 1983 Mariners hype song called Hit It Again. And I remember this so vividly from my childhood. I'm gonna play it for you also, Just. I'm gonna also send you the link to this because it opens with a shot of Gaylord Perry, a picture who. He won his 300th game as a Mariner. He was a known cheater. Like, he was known for throwing spitballs back.

[Andrew]

Did he have a plumber's mustache, like

[Luke Burbank]

one of his handlebars? He didn't. His body could no longer produce facial hair. That's how old he was. He was. He looks to be. I would say 70 years of age as he wins his 300th game as a Mariner. But if we have any real old heads out there like me who were like tracking the Mariners full, full on

[Andrew]

male pattern baldness, he's taking off his hat and he's got.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even know that part. I think I only saw him with the hat on.

[Andrew]

I will, I'll send this to you. I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's amazing. And again, I say that as a bald. I'm not saying that to make fun of anybody. But he's allowed to say that, people. That's right. I can say it. But yeah, he takes off his hat and he looks like he's got like Crusty the clown male patterned baldness.

[Luke Burbank]

So this is. I think they might even say. I think that this might even be. The Mariners are playing hardball. You were asking about. They might even get ready to play

[Andrew]

hardball in the Kingdom.

[Luke Burbank]

Princess Tours. The vacation company brings you the best show in baseball. When the San Diego Chicken plays hardball with the Seattle Mariners. Oh, no. And the Baltimore Oriole freaking Better Cub in the Kingdome.

[Andrew]

You can't escape it.

[Luke Burbank]

I also, by the way, remember the phone number I used? Like the, the phone number for the Mariners. 628-3300. That was the thing. That was the. They would always say that. They didn't even give you the area code. You didn't need it. 628-3300. That was the number you would call to buy your Mariners tickets.

[Andrew]

Oh, I love it. I do think I've heard that. I think we've played it because I didn't know before you hit play, but it rings a bell to me. And also I think that one time led us on a whole thing. Thing about the San Diego Chicken. One time.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, well, yeah. I mean, I've got. Listen, I've got a tight 40 minutes on the San Diego Chicken that I think we've explored here on the show at least a couple of times. But. But that is. That is actually pretty funny that I would. That, that, that I would play that today. And it does involve this. I mean, the OG Vetter Cup.

[Andrew]

Yeah. What is going on? How good is everything? Come back to the Padres.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, wait a second, Andrew. That Absolutely. And 100%.

[Andrew]

Oh, proves you wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

Refutes what I was saying about interleague play. So we obviously were in 1983. That is crazy. Why. Why did I not. A, why did I not remember that? And B, why did I have it in my Mind. I mean, maybe it was just that they expanded it.

[Andrew]

I know there was some expanded it, but I mean, there was something there. You know why, Luke? Because there were things like the, what they call it the Freeway Series. Like, I bet you the Freeway Series

[Luke Burbank]

goes by the Subway Series.

[Andrew]

Well, no, I'm thinking the LA one.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, but I mean, yeah.

[Andrew]

Okay, so that's, that's nl, right? Yeah. Then of course the Subway Series as well. And so those go back a long, long way.

[Luke Burbank]

Do they? Because I always think of the Freeway Series and the Subway Series as being in the World Series. So the Freeway Series you had. Well, the Subway. No. Are we going to have a Subway Series? Was always. Are the Yankees going to play the

[Andrew]

Mets in the World Series? In that world.

[Luke Burbank]

That's why they called it the Series. Like, for instance, there was the earthquake interrupted. I think they called that a Freeway Series, which I think was the A's and the Dodgers, maybe the A's and the Giants. Remember when there was a. Do you remember when there was an earthquake during a World Series game?

[Andrew]

That was the Bay Area quake. No, I don't know much about that, but I always.

[Luke Burbank]

What I always thought about with those Series and, But again, I could be wrong. I was clearly wrong about this too. I always associated those in my mind with like, oh, man, it'd be really interesting if the Yankees and the Mets played each other in the World Series, because that would be a quote unquote Subway Series. But obviously there was interleague play happening in 1983. Actually. Wait, did they say the Padres and the chicken, or did they just say the chicken?

[Andrew]

You know what, can you play it again? And by the way, while you look that up, I'm going to say that it was in 1997 when the subway Series.

[Luke Burbank]

We have to listen to the entire play hardball.

[Andrew]

It was in 97 when the subway Series started applying to regular season.

[Luke Burbank]

Did it again and again and again. Princess Tours, the vacation company brings you the best show in baseball when the San Diego Chicken plays hardball with the Seattle Mariners and the Baltimore Orioles.

[Andrew]

And the Orioles.

[Luke Burbank]

The Orioles.

[Andrew]

See, I remember this. It's got us on a whole. The chicken was there because the chicken became a freelancer at some point.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. He formed an llc. Yeah, he hung his shingle and started just going around. So now I'm back to maybe trusting myself. I don't know if there was interleague play outside of the playoffs before, let's say, the 2000s. I, I, here's what I.

[Andrew]

Well, it definitely wouldn't be before the 2000s, because I just said 1997 was when the term Subway series started referring to interleague play during the regular season.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, can we just Google when did interleague play stuff that would answer that problem?

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

But it is a funny 97. Yeah. So 97.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Expanded it. Okay. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. There we go. Whoo. So I'm not.

[Andrew]

That was. I was really.

[Luke Burbank]

That was. I was gonna have a moment there of. Of really. Really, you know, feeling even worse about my brain power and my memory, because it's like, I feel like I would have had such, you know, if in the 80s, like, the Mariners were getting to play, I don't know, the Mets or something. Just to keep going with that example, I feel like, because I was such a, like, obsessed with this team kind of kid, I feel like I would have remembered that and the fact that they were playing San Diego with the chicken in 83. And I just, like, whiffed out of my brain. I was. I was feeling really bad about myself. I'm glad to know at least it was 97, which, by the way, is 30 years ago.

[Andrew]

Yeah. But also, you know, in your guess of the 2000s, I mean, you know, you're at 97. You're three years off. It's very close, Right? It's just such a goddamn gift. At our age and with this job where so many things we say are recorded and. And then, you know, listened to by tens of people. It is such a gift when we have a moment where we think our brain is broken, but then we realize, no, the brain is working. Like when I was telling that story where it's, like, so rare. I was telling you a story the other day about crashing a party. I'm like, as I remember it, but the more I was talking, I'm like, this sounds all made up, and did I make up this memory? Then I text my friend during the show, and I just said, do you remember her crashing a party? And he came back to me with all of the details that I had just told you. I am still high from that and all the cocaine that I did right before the show today.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen, it helps with memory.

[Andrew]

That's right. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a. It's doctor prescribed.

[Andrew]

Thank you, doctor.

[Luke Burbank]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattle dazzle. All right, let's take a quick moment here to thank some of our Dazzling donors. These folks are donating some dough to tbtl and that's the way that this thing financially operates. This is 100% listener supported podcasting, supported by folks like Chad Snyder and Amy Liedke in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I guess I was in Minneapolis, not super duper long ago. We were doing Livewire there. But it still feels like, you know what it is, Andrew, at some point you and I were talking about, I think somebody maybe asked us for like favorite, like Twin Cities memories or whatever.

[Andrew]

He has a dazzling donor a while back.

[Luke Burbank]

And what it is, is I haven't been to Minneapolis with like you in a while other than like dropping John Sklaroff off at his house last year after we were coming back from friendship. Like you and I and our friends and the tens. Being in the Twin Cities together is something I really miss. Like, you know, whether it's a get together at Ranham or just kind of like it's a fun. When I hear from folks from there, it makes me miss that city. Which is odd because, you know, I haven't lived there, but I feel very connected to the place.

[Andrew]

I miss hearing from demographics experts who used to work at General Mills telling us that our show is unmarketable. I miss those meetings.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you've sent John on a real fool's errand now with trying to research this bumper sticker you may have seen in the basement of apl.

[Andrew]

She's. I didn't even want to bring this up. He's gonna be so mad because I mentioned on yesterday's show, was it this bumper sticker that somebody had displayed in a cubicle down in the basement of American Public Media. And it was somebody who. I never saw them at their desk. I only saw the desk itself. So. And I described it as. It was like something like honk if you're into minimalism. But the thing is, that was one of those moments where I started telling that story, not realizing that I didn't really remember what the bumper sticker said. So when I say honk if you're. Or don't honk if you're into minimalism or something like that, that is really so far away from what that bumper sticker actually said. I just needed to complete the thought on the show. And now John is trying to figure out what that bumper sticker said. But, like, he has so little to go on. He has so little to go on.

[Luke Burbank]

This is what. And we woke up this morning to a fairly extensive message from John being like, okay, I've reached out. I'm on the Case it's like, here's the info that John has about this bumper sticker. It may or may not have said, don't honk if you're into minimalism. And it was on a cubicle. And we know that you and Brandon Santos laughed about it.

[Andrew]

That's right. And I know that I passed it twice. Here's what I'll tell John. Here's more information, John.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, first of all, wait for the drop.

[Andrew]

Thank you to male Kim for supporting the show. And also I wanted to say that when you get off the elevator and you're walking back to that what they called the garden meeting room, this cubicle would be on the left, but it would be in the main walkway because I passed it a couple of times and going to this back meeting room. So you're leaving the elevator, you're going to pass this cubicle on the left. The bumper sticker was pointed outwards for the enjoyment of people like me walking by.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, here's the thing. Whoever put that bumper sticker up, I am very confident in saying it does not work in American public media anymore because I don't think they make media for the public or Americans either.

[Andrew]

I think it's a bunch of middle managers just bumping into each other.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like it is some sort of a severance esque situation.

[Andrew]

They're looking for the angry numbers. You've got the scary numbers.

[Luke Burbank]

You've got some kind of macro data refining happening down there now that's allegedly helping turn on demand programming into a movie studio. And then there's just one. I got stuck watching this truly heinous movie the other night. It started off kind of promising, which is why I got locked in. It had Sam Rockwell in it and I love him. Sam Rockwell busts into this diner in. In Los Angeles. I mean, it's. Again, it's a very strong premise for a movie, but it, and it was. I forget what it was even called, but Sam Rockwell is this. He appears to be a sort of like a homeless person. He appears to. He's got a big shaggy beard. He's wearing this kind of like thrown together kind of crazy outfit. He comes to this diner and he basically says, like, I'm from the future and I need five of you to help me save the future. And people don't know if he's, you know, mentally all there or not. And it turns out I'm not spoiling anything, but he is mentally there and he really is from the future. And he ends up kind of assembling this this motley crew of people from the diner, and now they're off on this mission together. Like, it's a strong start for a movie.

[Andrew]

Do they. Oh, they. Do they time travel together or. No, they have to solve some problem in the current timeline.

[Luke Burbank]

There. That's a good point. I was very sleepy when I started this movie, so I didn't go to sleep, but it's a little fuzzy, but it was like. I don't. I can't remember if they time travel. I think. I think they do dimensionally shift at some point, because the world they're living in that. When he. Buzz. No, they do. They do some sort of. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They don't time travel. Here's what it is. They need to change something that's happening in their moment of time. Yes. So that the future that Sam Rockwell is in doesn't exist.

[Andrew]

Yes. That makes.

[Luke Burbank]

So they're on a quest in the.

[Andrew]

In class. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's a strong start, right?

[Andrew]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

And all I can say is it really falls apart towards the end. It's so bad. They just can't land it. It's like it was. And they could have. Are you okay with me spoiling this movie that I can't remember the name of if I give.

[Andrew]

I am. Yeah. We've now given you warning. We're giving you about 15 more seconds here. I am. I'm just, you know, stretching this out a little bit. And now, Luke, I would say you're in the clear.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, thank you. If you don't want to have this new Sam Rockwell movie that I don't know the name of spoiled. Stop listening right now. So it's. What you realize is that the. The. The thing that Sam Rockwell needs to stop, which he actually says early on in the movie, is like, it's something about AI, Right? It's something about. And there's some kid. There's some kid who's doing some sort of, like, AI Internet thing that he needs to be stopped. And it's not even that he needs to, like, not build the AI. He needs to build it with safeguards. Literally. That's, like, what. That's the reveal. So Sam Rockwell is trying to get a thumb drive into a computer that is going to put safeguards on the AI That's a shockingly nuanced solution to killing Hitler. You know what I mean? Right.

[Andrew]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

We're not anti Hitler. We just want safeguards. You know, it's like, if you could travel back in time, what would you do? I would Plug a thumb drive into Hitler's computer and create some safeguards.

[Andrew]

Just make sure there's some safeguards in

[Luke Burbank]

there, some guardrails, if we will. If you could. So. But. Okay, fine, whatever. Again, that's a little bit of. That's. That's a little subtle, but that's where we landed. Oh, by the way, this movie is directed by Gore Verbinski. Who. Didn't he do, like, the original, Like, Blade Runner or something?

[Andrew]

I know.

[Luke Burbank]

Gore Verbinski. What's it. What's he known for?

[Andrew]

I don't know. I don't know that name, but I know he didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

I know that he. Okay, well, I. Gore Verbinski, he has definitely directed some. Well, he directed Rango, so that's where I know.

[Andrew]

Okay. Ridley Scott. By the way, I couldn't call. I couldn't conjure Ridley Scott's name, but

[Luke Burbank]

I guess he was the. Let's see.

[Andrew]

He was.

[Luke Burbank]

He did some Pirates of the Caribbean. I feel like in my mind. Oh, he did. Wait, I feel like he did something. What I know is that when I saw his name pop up, I was like, oh, this guy, Gor. Gore Verbinski. He does good stuff. He has done good stuff. I guess he did some of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies or some versions of that.

[Andrew]

Anyway, okay, before we get into the dazzling donor, did you have more in this story or were you shifting to our dazzling message? Because I do have something I want to say related to this about a moment I had.

[Luke Burbank]

I only have one, by the way. The movie's called Good Luck, have Fun, don't die. That should have been my first indication. That's like a thing that a certain kind of brassy mom says on TikTok to her kids as she lets them out of the minivan. That's what she tells Braylon and. And Ryder, Good luck, have fun, don't die. And then she's like, off to Starbies for a cup or something like, that's. I should have known from the title of the movie. But anyway, what are you gonna say about it?

[Andrew]

Here's what I was gonna say. This whole thing of, like. And I'll put it more on me, although obviously, more on me, although it happens to everybody who talks in the microphones this much, including you. But, like, me fumbling around for the name of a. Of a celebrity or a movie or something like that, and then you kind of get in this panic mode and you're like, even if it's somebody that I should know, like a name that I say all the time. A Mariner player or something like that. And I was like, I think I said Emerson the other day because I couldn't think of Emerson Hancock's last name. But anyway, so it happens all the time. But I was in the car with Lucy yesterday and I had the overwhelming sense of frustration that so many of our listeners do when you're hearing me do that. Only this time I was listening to the Brock and Salk show and usually the Brock Bombers. The Brock Bombers, exactly. I didn't write that down before, but you're right, that should be the show title. I could just put a marker here. But anyway, so Mike Salk, well, here, I guess Brock had just taken a trip to Italy and he was saying that on the long trip back home, he was watching movies that sort of. That either took place in Italy or had some sort of Italian American. Like, you watched the Godfather and Gladiator. He said he watched Gladiator. Yeah, right. But he had just seen like the.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm reading the transcript to the Tom Brady man in the arena podcast while I'm watching Gladiator and drinking Muscle milk.

[Andrew]

We love you, bro. He, you know, actually, I got to give him credit for this. I've never seen Gladiator, which really shocked a friend of mine the other day.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's a well done film, by the way.

[Andrew]

Yeah, also Ridley Scott, coincidentally. But anyway, he was like, you know, I had just seen the Coliseum in its modern day, semi ruinous state or whatever, and so it was interesting to watch it reconstructed in the movie. It was actually, I thought, a pretty interesting insight from him about why he chose that movie on the plane. Also, it's just a really long plane ride. And that's how you end up with things like the Godfather on your playlist. But Mike Salk then says something like, I like that. He's like, I like that idea of when you've traveled somewhere, watching something kind of related to the place you were traveling on the plane. He's like, I like that move. And then this is where he lost it. He had such an Andrew moment. And I thought, oh, you poor son of a gun. Actually, I didn't think that. I was screaming at him. I was screaming at him through the radio. Now I have more compassion. At the time, I was considering pulling over to text the text line. I'm not even joking, because he said, yeah, you know, we did that when we were visiting Morocco on the way back. I watched, you know, Lawrence of Arabia. No, but the, you know, the Morocco, the most famous movie in the black And White Humphrey. Yeah, that's what he's trying to think of the Humphrey Bogart movie. Like, the, it's the most famous movie. And he's saying that. And I'm thinking it's Casablanca. But then he says this. You know, the one with, frankly, my darling, I don't give a damn. I'm like, mike, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, your memory.

[Andrew]

And so I'm watching, and he's like, oh, I hate this. He's like, I hate this so much. He's like, I need to sleep. And like. And I do feel compassion for him because I do that all the time. But I am in the car and I am yelling like, I'm like, it's Casablanca. And that is not a line from that movie. Like, I was seriously considering pulling over and texting, and it occurred to me, no, no, no. They're getting flooded with this right now. They don't need me to do that even, you know, Like, I, I'm sure that, like, the majority of their listeners have not seen Casablanca before. Those seem like probably something that, like, the 710 ESPN crowd is watching in 2026. But I'm sure they got plenty of feedback on that, and they didn't need me to do it. But I understand that urge.

[Luke Burbank]

Play it again, Sam. I don't know nothing about birth and no babies.

[Andrew]

Right. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's happening, you know what's happening to me now more and more. And I think, again, this is the aging process. But I, I do feel like it's weird because I'll be having so many thoughts simultaneously, and I feel like some of them involve you because I feel like you've expressed to me that sometimes if you start to get worried about not remembering something, it, it exacerbates it.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Like, you see it. You know that your sentence needs this word in it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Or this memory. Either a pronunciation thing or a, or a. I can't quite find this word. Or what is the name of that goddamn movie?

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like now sometimes I'll go like, oh, no, don't forget the name of this person. And then I'll also think of you saying, oh, no, don't forget.

[Andrew]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

That's my brain. It's just battling it out. None of it's getting me closer to Casablanca.

[Andrew]

Sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no, no. That's. I, I, I hesitate to say that because you have nothing to do with this. This is not on you. But it's just like, it's just two, two Cartoon monkeys with mallets just banging each other in my head while I'm not thinking of Casablanca.

[Andrew]

Yeah, just, it's like saying, like, when you're drowning, like, don't panic. The worst thing you can do is panic. Well, what am I panicking? What do you want me to do?

[Luke Burbank]

So just to wrap up this. Good luck, have fun, don't die. It's actually the real bummer of the movie for me was that it is actually a very entertaining, compelling movie right up until the end because again, I've laid out the premise. Now this is where the spoilers come in. When they get. They finally get to the place they finally were able to. Now one thing too is Sam Rockwell's character has done this 117 times. Like, he just keeps looping in this thing and never actually getting like he has this button that he can press that is going to eject him back to his, his timeline. And he's always, when, whenever he's like, thinks that, like, they're about to get killed or something really bad, he's always holding this little trigger, which is again, kind of a nice, like, MacGuffin or whatever, you know, it's a good idea. So he keeps almost just hitting eject on the game. He's basically playing a video game himself, right? Which he's trying to get to the final boss of. They finally get to the final boss. Now here's where they get to the house and then there's these parents and they're like, we need so and so. And the parents are like, oh, we don't know where he is. And they suss out that these two people are not his parents. They are actors. They have been hired to pretend to be normal parents. Again, this is major spoiler territory. So they finally get into the room where the kid is. Now this is where I think the way you play this is he is a typical looking kid. He's playing a video game. That is not where Gore Verbinski went with this or the writer of the film. He is a bald, hairless, wide eyed, shirtless child who is sitting Buddha, like atop a mountain of coaxial and USB cables. And he is playing some sort of game on a laptop that is clearly rewriting the code of, like, the universe. And as they try to just fight the kid, they are being the. The mountain of cords that he's on are literally snaking out and holding people against the wall. The people are literally being. They're being held captive by technology. Andrew. The chords, the cords, their whole. It's like it is like, it is without a doubt the most heavy handed, absolute disastrous mess of an ending of a film that's otherwise really good that I've ever seen. And like, it's like you, you are so close. You were 90% of the way with this movie. You just didn't. And then he goes, then there's all this. The kid actor has to do all this. I can't even describe it to you. Like at some point the kid actor starts talking and it's like he, I think he might even take them into some other reality dimension, something. And it isn't just like the kid has a line or two. There's like six to seven minutes of like faux profound dialogue that the kid is delivering at the end that's just

[Andrew]

like so on the nose.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not even. It's on and off the nose because it makes no sense.

[Andrew]

It's just gibberish.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like you thought that you were gonna be able to create a reality if you unplugged me, but what I am is actually. And it's just like there's like there just keeps being more movie of him talking where they're trying to solve a bunch of the plot points of the movie. When earlier when you were at the parking lot and you thought you had done this, that wasn't the thing. Which is why it's like, oh my God. You got to the end of the movie and realized that you didn't know how to like solve a bunch of the plot holes. So now just this weird dead eyed kid actors having to deliver who like pages of dialogue.

[Andrew]

Oh, that is rough stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

It was just so rough because I was like so in the movie for so long. And then it was like, oh man,

[Andrew]

that sucks when they don't stick the landing. That's almost as obvious as having two guys swinging on actual swings while talking about a DTF app.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, exactly.

[Andrew]

And you know, I actually liked that, by the way. I thought that was a clever little use of swinging.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what, Andrew? I didn't even put that together. That, that is so clever and subtle. So subtle that I didn't even notice. But you're absolutely right. They're on swings.

[Andrew]

Swings play a big role in that show as they become swingers.

[Luke Burbank]

That's such, that's a very, very good point. You know who wouldn't have missed that? Chad Snyder and Amy Lidkey. Because they're smart. We know them, we've met them. They're in Minneapolis. Here's what they're saying in their Dazzling donor message. Minneapolis has endured. Now, this was written a little while ago, too. As you'll figure out here, it's a bit time stamped. Minneapolis has endured weeks of fear and violence inflicted by ice. Even if it ends, which, thankfully, it appears to have ended or at least subsided, that's me editorializing. The damage will be lasting and the community response has been beautiful. I absolutely agree with that. Chad and Amy, So as a newly minted Unitarian Universalist minister, remember that Chad is now a man of the cloth.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Chad says I may still have that new reverend smell. I like that idea of hanging Chad up in the car. Just pulling down part of the bag, just the top bit on Chad so that it's very fragrant, but it's not wasting all of the Chad smell right away.

[Andrew]

We don't make hanging Chad jokes during Chad's message.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you ever do that with the Christmas or the tree freshener in your car? You remember how the actual rules of the tree freshener was not to take it completely out of the bag? Yes, initially I do.

[Andrew]

I remember being shocked by that because I bought something along those lines for my minivan, and my parents did not have those in their car, nor did mine. They just kept their car, like, as you'd expect, like, spotless. Just absolutely spotless. And never even. They wouldn't even drive by a fast food restaurant, let alone through a fast food restaurant. So they didn't have it. But then when I, you know, got to be 17 or whenever I got my van, I was like, oh, cool. I'll get like one of those classic things. I'd only seen it in movies. Right? The classic air freshener hanging from the. From the rear view mirror. Yeah, the rear view. And. And then you get your first one, and it's like, do not remove from bag. Just pull the bag slowly. You're just like.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like there was a little illustration on the back with, like, lines even as to, like, at two months, pull it down this way. There was something on the back that was telling you, but then it looked so cheesy. It looks stupid.

[Andrew]

It's just like. That's not what Wayne and Garth do. Get out of my face with that.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. You know what? We're going to. We're going hardcore on this.

[Andrew]

We're.

[Luke Burbank]

We're just. We're taking this entire packaging off. It's gonna be way too strong. Oh, it is. And then have no smell.

[Andrew]

You're gonna want to crack a window.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's gonna be over. And then sometimes you get crazy and Go with, like, black ice. That was a. That was a smell. I mean, I liked the tradition, you know. Andrew, do you know that if I were to walk out to my car right now, guess what's in there? Air freshener tree. That's in there. Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

You have it hanging. Oh, cool.

[Luke Burbank]

In my car currently, by the way. Had it in there probably since the first days that I had my car. Maybe it's been. It's been sans the outside bag the whole time. It hasn't made a cent for four years. It's just sitting in there decoratively. As a newly minted Universal Unitarian Universalist minister, I encourage the TBTL community.

[Andrew]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

To also find community where we live. I am a minister who doesn't believe in God. That is a bold statement, Reverend Chad. I do believe we create a sort of divinity in community. It doesn't have to be a traditionally religious community. See, I find this. I'm just talking about my worldview. I find this to be a very compelling statement because I'm not a person who believes in a literal God in heaven or wherever that might be. But I do think that there's real power in community and coming together with people and supporting each other. The point isn't to find a doctrine. The point is that being human together can be tricky. And when we walk that path together, we can find better ways to live with kindness and compassion. You can learn more of what I mean at my website. We tends listen to our co bros yammer about dreams, remodeling cats, sportball, and the ways you navigate your lives, because it's a way of reflecting a divinely human connection. Inane sometimes. And it is grace. Thank you for it. Signed, Reverend Chad and Amy. I think the only thing I can take away from that, Andrew, is that you and I are basically Godlike.

[Andrew]

I was gonna say bigger than Jesus, but, yeah, I would say you can

[Luke Burbank]

find me most days sitting atop a pile. A mountain of podcasting cables. Yes. Typing into the universe and programming things going forward. Well, Chad, Reverend Chad and Amy, thank you both so much for supporting the show for all these years. Congratulations again, Reverend Chad on this. And everybody go check out a divinehumanism.com that sounds like a way of thinking about the world and spirituality that I can really get behind.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. And I. You know, spoofing aside, I do want to just take a moment to say how much I appreciate those words. And then applying that sort of mindset to the goofy that we do on the show is. Is beyond flattering. And I don't know that we deserve. Deserve to be put into that context, but I'll certainly take it and appreciate it. Like you said, Luke, it doesn't do anybody any good to deny a compliment or whatever, but it's incredibly. It's an incredibly sweet sentiment, and it's truly appreciated. And you're both appreciated.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Chad and Amy. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew]

Get set, get set now. Ready, Ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattle d. It's our friend Lisa Claus. Like Santa or like Claus or like Claus. And then Lisa says. Almost no one pronounces it.

[Andrew]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just want to say, Luke, really quick. We are a little bit short on time, so if you could sort of keep this dazzling donor message as short as possible. I appreciate it. I know that they're on the four messages. Yeah. But I just can't. We can't get into a really long, winding, dazzling donor message right now.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going to try to summarize Lisa's message. Lisa's in Westchester, Pennsylvania. Hold. Give me a second for this. Actually, I'm pretty good at this from, you know, doing podcasting for so long. Love the show.

[Andrew]

That's good.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, thanks, Lisa.

[Andrew]

Appreciate it. That's clean.

[Luke Burbank]

Couldn't do it without you.

[Andrew]

Thank you, Lisa.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark. There's a right way to rock and

[Andrew]

a wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your song. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember the life is one.

[Luke Burbank]

You can be nothing.

[Andrew]

Hearing Tim Heidecker there makes me wonder, have you been seeing any of those videos he's been making for the like, basically blood.

[Luke Burbank]

And he says it's thick as Alex Jones because he's taking over the.

[Andrew]

Of course you've been. Of course you've been watching that. That's your beat now. I kind of forgot.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah, I'm hoping that the. I'm hoping that we get some clarity, some legal clarity around when the Onion folks are going to actually get, you know, sort of get. Take possession of the Infowars, I guess, studios and stuff, because Alex Jones, for people that don't know the conspiracy theorist and generally awful person Alex Jones has lost his empire to his, you know, slander cases and all the money he owes in that. And so all of his stuff is being auctioned off. And The Onion bought Infowars.com or at least they. They leased it or something for a period of time. And he keeps, you know, maneuvering so that he keeps stalling this Thing that is, I think, sort of inevitable. But I would like him to run out of legal options so that they can get possession of it so that I can go down to Texas and interview them.

[Andrew]

Yeah, exactly. Hey, speaking of you, you're very, very, very close to having a golden blurs day, but not quite. It's your birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

How?

[Andrew]

Golden blurs day is when your birthday falls on the Thursday in which I'm reading blurs days. Your birthday is tomorrow, right? Rip.

[Luke Burbank]

Dip.

[Andrew]

Dip it. It's a birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

It is. It is.

[Andrew]

It messed that up a little bit there. Happy birthday. How you feeling?

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I feel. I feel actually very fine about being. I'm turning 50. I feel just fine about the age. I will be honest with you. I'm slightly dreading tomorrow because I think this again, I feel like I'm really in your world. Right?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Just me in there with a hammer bashing your brain again.

[Luke Burbank]

It's working. It's working. What I know is that, you know, being that it's a pretty big number and stuff like that, I think that there I'm gonna be getting a lot of messages tomorrow, which, again, is a very nice thing. I am. I'm so privileged with that. I'm so grateful for that. I'm so, you know, I'm so lucky that I've been blessed to have people in my life who love me and want to let me know that. So it all is such a good thing. And for people that maybe don't have that many connections, I want to just note that I'm very lucky. That being said, I feel like I'm going to be getting a lot, a lot, a lot of messages, and I'm going to, like, not know how to respond to them. And then the other thing is, we're going. Becca has set up this kind of weekend away with her family, and it's one of those things where she's like, I've got it all planned out. You just show up at my place at this time and then the rest of it is out of your hands. And when I tell you, Andrew, that that makes me deeply uncomfortable.

[Andrew]

You want things in your hands.

[Luke Burbank]

I did. I really don't think of myself as a control freak. I guess I am, because this is mildly terrifying to me. Literally the fact that I was. I was like, what time am I supposed to be at your house? And she was like, this time she goes, we're trying to be over at Scott and Tiff's by X o'. Clock. And I go, oh, are we carpooling? And she goes, it's all planned out. I've got it all taken care of.

[Andrew]

Is it show up at this surprise, though, do you think. Do you feel like there's a surprise involved? She's just with.

[Luke Burbank]

I hope there's not. Just look at her getting off on withholding.

[Andrew]

Clinton really hopes there's not a surprise. I just heard Bill Clinton say, really? I hope there's nothing.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I hope this. I hope there's not any kind of. I hope there's not a surprise element. I mean, I know we're going to an Airbnb. I think I know who's going. Unless there's something, you know, that I don't know.

[Andrew]

But I. I know of no surprises. I know that she asked to borrow our kiddie pool and a whole bunch of jello, like, unmade jello boxes, which I said, sure, she's swinging by to pick those up later. That's all I know.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, that's a hint. That's definitely a hint. But anyway, I'm. To answer your question, I feel very fine about the idea of being 50 years old. I would like it. I'd like to get through the part where everybody's asking me how I feel

[Andrew]

about being 50 years old.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. I want to mean it that way.

[Andrew]

It is a blessing. Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't mean it that way at all. And when you turn 50, I will probably a week or two after, remember that it had been your birthday and

[Andrew]

ask you how you feel about it. And then ask me if I want that cheesecake. And then remember that I don't eat cheese.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, precisely.

[Andrew]

No. Well, happy birthday for real. I know that we got some messages from listeners wanting to wish you a happy blur, saying, I would also like to shout out our friend, good friend and benefactor, broadcast Barry, who shares your birthday. Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

So tomorrow and year of my birth, I just.

[Andrew]

Day, year, everything, like, literally, you guys were born on the same.

[Luke Burbank]

He texted me. We were texting about this today, and I was like, don't we have, like, the same birthday? He's like, yeah, and the same birth year. He goes. He goes, we need to figure out who's older. Ask your mom what time you were born. And I said, if you think my mom would know something like that. You have not met Susie Burbank.

[Andrew]

Well, you were the oldest kid, so there's a better chance, right? There's a better chance she would know yours than, like, kid number four or five.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. I think probably being first, there's maybe a little bit more Of. Yeah, it's. It's burned in her brain a little bit more, but I would be. And again, the woman was pushing a human being out of her body. It's not like I don't blame her if she doesn't remember the exact hour

[Andrew]

of it, but like, sure.

[Luke Burbank]

I could also see. This is the kind of thing where I could see my mom having a really strong opinion on the hour of my birth. And then if I went back and checked, like, I don't know, the medical records or something, it could be. Not the case.

[Andrew]

I'm actually opening up this folder here. I think. I'm not even joking. I think I have my birth certificate.

[Luke Burbank]

Do they put that on your birth certificate?

[Andrew]

I'm gonna look because I think I have it in this folder where I have all my special papers and. Oh yeah, look at this. Yeah. Oh, wait, no, this is maybe Social Security. Oh, no, look. And I think so before I tell you when mine is, I'm gonna tell you that I think it was around noon. Ish. You got your birth certificate? Yeah, yeah, I've got a. I got mine.

[Luke Burbank]

County of Humboldt. County of Humboldt. State of California. Certification of vital record.

[Andrew]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Certification of live birth. Luke Christian Kelly. Oh, yep. Barry, this is for you. Okay. What's your time?

[Andrew]

I was right. It was 12:32pm I thought it was. I thought it was noonish. Zerk. 12:32pm was for me.

[Luke Burbank]

1:57pm okay. May 8, 1970. Redwood Memorial Hospital in Fortuna, California.

[Andrew]

Nice. So now we gotta find out. We gotta find father.

[Luke Burbank]

Middle name unknown.

[Andrew]

My. Hey, mine says that too.

[Luke Burbank]

What the heck? I'm seeing a pattern.

[Andrew]

Anyway, now I'm just figuring out what else is in this folder of special documents. Oh, you know what's in this folder of special documents? Documents, huh? This David Lieb Hart picture drawing of me and Genevieve that he made.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually pretty good. It's very flattering in this very liebhart way.

[Andrew]

Interesting. Okay, I have some real blurses to do.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we're saying happy blurs to our buddy Barry.

[Andrew]

Certainly, Barry. I hope you know Barry celebrated his birthday the only proper way, which was to come over to my house this weekend and give me a gift of much, much coffee, which I've been enjoying. I've had three. I've already burned through three. It's mark the date. It is May 7th. I've already had three coffee shandies during the show. Not. Not during the show. I would be talking even quicker. Man. Love those things. Thank you, Barry. Happy birthday. Burrow. Now here's some birthdays that were sent in to me. Birthday wishes I should say. You can email me andrewbtl.net make sure you put a blurs day in the subject line. Otherwise it might just not stand out to me and I won't know that there's a blurs day contained within. Kevin says Happy Golden Blurs Day to my brother Brian. Brian is the best actual cobra a guy can have. He's funny, caring and passionate and is having a banner year after extracting himself from the tech world and starting to drive for King County Metro. Luke he's helping people get where they need to be and get through their days a little easier with his kindness and his laughter.

[Luke Burbank]

I assume he's driving a train, right?

[Andrew]

Hit a home run with your friends and family. Take him on a train. I am going to do something that I've never done before. This is an unprecedented move by me. But this reminds me that Brian and this has got to be the same Brian. There's no way it's not the same. Brian sent in a one minute long voice memo. This was not part. I don't play voice memos as part of blurs days. That just gets too complicated. We're not opening up that door. However, this Brian just sent this in I think like weeks or months ago and I am so intrigued. I wrote back to him because this is a voice memo with a million questions. I'm almost wondering if we should have Brian on the show to ask some follow ups. Listen to this.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey Cobras.

[Brian]

This is Brian in the SARS Super Saver district of Seattle. I don't know if I count as a P1, but I do want to say that all of the bus related content that you've had recently has been super serving me. Mostly because because you guys are great, but also because I spent the last nine months becoming a full time driver for Metro. I mean as an example, I drove the 40 multiple times during my training. Tom Cruise ain't got nothing on the story of getting Genevieve's phone back and I am so jealous. The other thing I wanted to say is if there are any other bus tens who ride Andrew's beloved E line from now until the end of August, I'll actually be driving that five days a week from Friday through Tuesday.

[Luke Burbank]

How about that?

[Brian]

If you see your driver is a balding, bespectacled gray beard with many tattoos, please say hello because there is nothing I want more than to do a no mountain too tall. Good luck to all from the driver's seat. And then as A PS to Luke. I wanted to let him know that Don's groupware totally still exists. It's down in Sodo, and it's actually where we all get our uniforms.

[Andrew]

How about that?

[Brian]

Powered up.

[Andrew]

How about that?

[Luke Burbank]

Man, that's a hell of a voicemail.

[Andrew]

That's what I'm saying. It's got something for everybody. Well, at least. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, yeah, but. So does that mean there's a decent chance that you'll be on the E Line at some point?

[Andrew]

Yeah, I think I said he's driving Friday through Tuesday. I'm pretty sure these. And I'll be taking the E Line tomorrow, Friday to the downtown area. So I'll tell you during. Big weekend plans. Of course, about that.

[Luke Burbank]

So I listen, don't tell. Don't tell Genevieve about the voicemail. Not that you would. I would like this to be the kind of thing where you're getting on the bus and you're just getting a fist bump from the driver who's a 10, and just play it off, like, casual, like you didn't know what was going to happen, just to kind of basically flex in front of Genevieve.

[Andrew]

That are a big deal. Really good point. Because usually when we catch the E Line at our bus stop, we're usually not getting in the front door. The E Line is one of those big buses with the bendy straw on the ladle. I think it's called the bendy straw. Don't correct me. It sickens me. And we usually get in one of the back doors. Right. And. But I will try to make sure to get on the front door.

[Luke Burbank]

Come up with a reason. Yeah, the front door.

[Andrew]

And then. Yes. And then maybe bring.

[Luke Burbank]

Bring a twisted tea. So that Brian has to ask you to please not bring twisted tea on the bus.

[Andrew]

Or he allows it because he's special. Ooh.

[Luke Burbank]

Love it.

[Andrew]

Weekend plans.

[Luke Burbank]

Big weekend. Wait, that's not. That's a Friday thing.

[Andrew]

Yeah, we'll do that tomorrow. I'll tell you why we're taking the E Line tomorrow. It's not that great of a story, but it's enough to keep you interested. All right. I just want to say that Kevin got a lot of birthday shout outs. He got one from AJ who says Happy Golden Blue to Brian from his 11 and his three furry fives. When his smartwatch started asking, are you okay? Brian wisely shifted careers to become a bus driver. Couldn't be more proud of him. Sarah also sent in a blurs a message, but I didn't copy the whole thing here because Kevin, because Brian has gotten a lot of blurs day.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, that's. It's kind of enough.

[Andrew]

I played your voicemail. Yeah, no, for real. Happy birthday, Brian. Looking forward to seeing you. And Jason says happy blurs day to my beautiful 11, Stacy. Since her last blurs, we have moved to Vancouver, bc. Moving internationally is tough under the best of circumstances and this year has not been been the best. There were lots of opportunities to throw and abandon the plan, but she didn't quit. And now we're celebrating our first Canadian spring and her first Canadian blurs with a cupcake tour around the city. I told you that I'm not a huge sweets guy, but my goodness, there's something about the idea of a cupcake tour around Vancouver that has me salivating.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's mostly just the part about being in Vancouver. Yeah, maybe.

[Andrew]

Although I am thinking about sprinkles as well.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew]

And frosting.

[Luke Burbank]

One of my sisters messaged me and said like, because there's like a family birthday get together for me, not this weekend, but the following. And my sister was like, what kind of cake do you like? And it's like, I don't know, like, I mean, it's a very nice question, but this is what I mean about the blurs day thing. And again, I know that this is like the first of first world problems, but it's like I don't even. I don't have an opinion on the kind of cake I like. You know what I mean? I was like maybe a kind of white one with a chocolate frosting maybe.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, like that.

[Andrew]

I would probably. I'd probably say like angel food. I like angel food cake.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that's a bold choice because it's kind of got that real squishy.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Angel food. That real squishy kind of. The cake is. I don't know how you. How you put it, except it's very compressible.

[Andrew]

Yeah, it's very fluffy. But it's also kind of. It can be almost be like sticky. Right. I don't eat that much cake, but I remember liking that as a kid. Also though, Luke, I would ask you this and I don't think the answer to this would be yes, but is there a chance that you would go for an ice cream cake? Like an old school Dairy Queen? Like the opposite of fancy sort of like ice cream cake.

[Luke Burbank]

This is my sister Liz who was asking and she is a. As is my sister Sarah, but particularly Liz is a fabulous baker.

[Andrew]

Oh, she's gonna bake you.

[Luke Burbank]

She's gonna make this. So that's why I was like, I

[Andrew]

mean, you're not going to get that whale. Who was it? Was it Culver's or whatever?

[Luke Burbank]

Carvel? I've got the diapers if you've got the time. Right.

[Andrew]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

No, and that's the thing, too, is my sister is because she's a phenomenal baker and because she's also just has the kind of sophisticated taste. Like, if I let her. If I left her to her own devices on the cake, it would be something that was far too adventurous for me. It'd be like I made an olive oil cake with. With. With candied mushrooms. But it's delicious. You know what I mean?

[Andrew]

That's overstating it. Chris Fleming describing his sister's.

[Luke Burbank]

That's overstate. I mean, yes, I know what you're talking about, and I'm sort of overstating it here. I don't mean that. But what I mean is, like, what I know about my sister, this particular sister, is like, she is always. And not in any kind of a pretentious way. She just enjoys it. Just eats things that are a little more refined than what I eat. Like, I'm like. I don't know. I like it when there's that, you know, the Duncan Hines milk chocolate frosting, and then maybe just whatever flavor white is.

[Andrew]

Yeah, whatever flavor white is. That's on my dating profile of just describing myself.

[Luke Burbank]

When Genevieve finds out about it, you're gonna be in big trouble, by the way.

[Andrew]

But anyway, it's like.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like I feel like this moment in my life is. It feels like it's sort of momentous to a bunch of people. I'm not one of them. And I'm having to weigh in on a lot of decisions around it that I don't have a strong opinion on. But again, it's all coming from a place of love.

[Andrew]

And I know you want to be careful here. You don't want to be insulting, but that is one thing about birthday. And this is something that, when I had more of a hang up about it, this is what my hang up was. And this has reared its head a little bit in the past couple of years that I can remember, too, is like, people are like, it's your birthday. We want to do something special for you. It's like, well, the best thing you could do would be, no offense, but leave me alone. That's what I want for my birthday. But that's not acceptable. And I've actually have heard through the grapevine that people were Kind of upset with me because I didn't spend more time with them on my birthday. And I'm kind of like, well, the whole thing is it's supposed to be my birthday. And like, you know, if you sacred,

[Luke Burbank]

you know what day between him and a man and his dart bot, you

[Andrew]

know what I would want to get you for your birthday cake is I'd go by McDonald's. I'd get as many damn chocolate chip cookies as they have or whatever it is.

[Luke Burbank]

That'd be thoughtful because, you know, I've been talking about those cookies.

[Andrew]

Sometimes also, like, sometimes the birthdays, you don't want the fanciest thing. You want the thing that reminds you of your childhood or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, here's the thing. Guess what? She actually put in the message. Or I could make chocolate chip cookies. Literally.

[Andrew]

There you go. See, that's.

[Luke Burbank]

But here's the thing. But this is what I'm talking about. I would be fine with that. I love chocolate chip cookies. I'm on the record.

[Andrew]

No, I make.

[Luke Burbank]

I make absolutely. No, there are no illusions about my love of chocolate chip cookies. But then I'm thinking everyone else is going to be bummed, maybe if they come to the birthday get together and instead of a cake, it's chocolate chip cookies. Like, I feel like I don't want to drive the curriculum that way and, like, impact negatively everyone else's experience.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. Cookie cake. Like a big. Because you then you have to get a. Gather around it and sing.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, those are terrible.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I don't think they are cake.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like, it's not as good as a cake and it's not a good cookie.

[Andrew]

This gets into something that I was ranting about for a long time, and I think a comedian, like a famous comedian now has a bit about it. But I swear I was not stealing this from someone. But I've always been fascinated by the idea of like, like kind of fast food or fast casual restaurants. When they offer a dessert, often it's supposed to be thematically based on what they're real, what they're known for serving as far as, like the actual meal. But usually it's just the shape. Right. Didn't like Taco Bell have like a. Did they have a Choco Taco or something like that?

[Luke Burbank]

Taco taco.

[Andrew]

And then like, I think Pizza Hut or one of the pizza chains. Dessert pizza. Dessert pizza. Or a giant cookie? Because it was like, well, we make round things. It's like this weird obsession with like, well, what shape is Our flagship food. Yes. And how can we make a dessert in that shape?

[Luke Burbank]

I remember. I think I'm 99% sure. Growing up there was like, Godfather's Pizza had a dessert pizza. And I believe, remember, I've always talked about the guy who played the mobster who said, do it. I believe there was some kind of a commercial, like, and try a dessert pizza. It's like, I don't want. I don't want, like, some thing with weird cinnamon glaze on it. That's just a pizza by another name.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Anyway, Jason, Stacy. A happy blurs day. Stacy and Jason, I hope you guys really enjoy that cupcake tour. Clearly, you got in my brain with that one.

[Luke Burbank]

Have fun.

[Andrew]

Jackson in Omaha says happy actual birthday to Meredith, who was just born in March.

[Luke Burbank]

Lou, come on.

[Andrew]

We have a baby Meredith, ladies and gentlemen. We do have a happy, healthy baby. Meredith. Jackson writing in to say happy blurs day. And also it says Meredith has actually technically been a listener all her life and the entire time in the womb. And of course, happy first Mother's Day to Megan, who has taken on motherhood with such grace. Q, guys. Megan, Jackson. Congratulations, Meredith. Welcome to the world, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. And welcome to the rest of your life. You're going to be hearing this a lot. That is our voices.

[Andrew]

Meredith heard the music go down and thought, oh, I have the last blursey. That's not true, Meredith. I just talked about Cake so long that I ran out of music.

[Luke Burbank]

But we're back and I'd like to talk about the band Cake Now. Yeah, because remember when they did that thing with the treadmills?

[Andrew]

No, that was okay. Go.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, dad, you're right. Cake is never there. Never there.

[Andrew]

You're never ever. Really? I don't know that song. Oh, that's cake. They did the song about the car riding fast and the shorts. Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

He's going the distance. He's going for. He's going for speed.

[Andrew]

Hated Cake so much. She was my go to bands that I hated much.

[Luke Burbank]

Like the Barenaked Ladies. I bet you that we have a large number of people that both like this show and like the work of Cake. What I will say about that band is I did credit them for many years. I credited them with my first marriage.

[Andrew]

Oh, really? The establishment of. Not the.

[Luke Burbank]

Not the dessert item. Not the dessert pizza item, but the band. The band.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean that you credit it for its marriage. For your marriage. Not the disillusion or the.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, not the. Not the divorce. They had nothing to do with the divorce, but because I had my first. My first wife, I had. We had met, you know, at, like, a swing dance in Pioneer Square, I believe, at the Phoenix Underground or something. We're just sort of friendly, just chatted, whatever. But, like, I believe both were, like, seeing other people and just kind of, you know, just somebody that I sort of recognized by face. A year or two goes by, some amount of time goes by, and I'm now single and whatever, and I go to Bumbershoot, and me and my buddy Joe Dahlin are wandering around, and we decide we're gonna go see the band. Cake is playing at, like, Memorial Stadium or something. And the show was so bad, so uninteresting, that I said, we gotta get out of here. So we leave. We. We leave Cake and we go to some other stage somewhere, and who is standing kind of in the field near the front of the stage? This person, this woman that I had known from years previous that I suddenly reconnect with. And I think we kind of. I think the band that was playing had kind of a swing dance y vibe, so maybe we did a little swing dancing there right in the grass or whatever. And I remember saying to her, why are we not going on dates? And she said, I don't know.

[Andrew]

We should.

[Luke Burbank]

And it was the. And I've always. I always said that if Cake would have been even slightly better at their job, I would have stayed at the concert.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I would have never bumped into this person, and I would have never, you know, had that phase of my life, so. Life's funny that way.

[Andrew]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

But it was the Bare Naked Ladies that broke you up, right? That. Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For reasons that legally I'm not allowed to talk about.

[Andrew]

What's the other one? It's driving me crazy. I didn't even want to say Barenaked Ladies there. I wanted to say that I wanted

[Luke Burbank]

another one that you. That.

[Andrew]

Who's the third leg of the stool, and it's the one that everybody gives a pass because they were on public radio a lot. Ira Glass loves them. You know, I gave the. One of the. I gave them they Might Be Giants for at once. Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I kind of. I'm kind of a. They Might Be Giants.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Everybody, like. Of the. The three stools of that leg, like, that is the stool that everybody kind of says, well, that's my one extra expansion. That's my one exception. If I don't like that kind of music. But I. I got to be honest with you.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't.

[Andrew]

I. I Don't partake in them.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's funny because Chuck Lorre, who, again, I'm the official chronicler of for now and Forevermore, I think he's writing a memoir. I was in. This is the guy who made the Big Bang Theory and. And, you know, young Sheldon and a bunch of these Two and a Half Men and stuff like that. And while I was interviewing. This is literally, I was interviewing him in California recently about this new TV show he has coming out. And the producer walked over to me of the. My TV piece, and he showed me a message from our bosses that said, we heard he has a memoir coming out in a few months. Do you guys want to do a profile of him then?

[Andrew]

Oh, wow.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, this will be on my tombstone. But what's interesting is I believe one of his shows, I think the opening theme is by they Might Be Giants.

[Andrew]

Yes,

[Luke Burbank]

I think that one might be Barenaked Ladies. Or no, no, no, it doesn't have a Bare Naked Ladies is one of them.

[Andrew]

Oh, really? I'm pretty sure because they're. They do.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, maybe Barenaked Ladies is Malcolm in the Middle.

[Andrew]

Maybe, Maybe. But I'm pretty sure that it's the they. They Might Be Giants does a sciencey song about a big bang, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Yeah. What am I thinking of with the Bare Naked Ladies TV theme? Big Bang Theory is by the Bare Naked Ladies. Really, the history of everything.

[Andrew]

I apologize for being so strident. I thought for sure that was the other one. I can't keep their names in my head at the same time.

[Luke Burbank]

The other one is Casablanca.

[Andrew]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see here. But now, hold on. They Might Be Giants TV theme. Oh, maybe they Might Be Giants was Malcolm in the Middle.

[Andrew]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

You're not the boss of me now. You're not the boss of me now. That is unfair. So those are different.

[Andrew]

I thought I would totally flip those. I would have totally flipped those. Because I think of why.

[Luke Burbank]

Because they're more sciency.

[Andrew]

Yeah. They Might Be Giants are always teaching you stuff. History and science.

[Luke Burbank]

The sun is a ball of incandescent gas. Gigantic nuclear furnace.

[Andrew]

I apologize for being. I was. I would have bet. No, but I'm glad I didn't make any bets.

[Luke Burbank]

But you know what I mean. First of all, you want to talk about recreating that throw your phone moment for people who are fans of those bands, those TV shows, et cetera. We just really did a number on them. But I'm with you. It's miscasting to have Barenaked Ladies. Sing the song about the, you know, basically the history of the universe and to have the they might be giants known science songsters.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Sing the Life is Unfair song.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

They should have really. They should have really done a switcheroo.

[Andrew]

That's Malcolm in the Middle. Then who did the theme song? That was.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's Cleveland Rocks, right?

[Andrew]

I know, but somebody.

[Luke Burbank]

Michael Stanley.

[Andrew]

Well, it was a. It was a 70s band that did it. Originally it wasn't Michael Stanley, but then somebody covered it for the Drew Carey show. Theme song is Cleveland Rocks by the presidents of the United States. We just found the fourth. We just found the fourth leg of the stool. This is a very sturdy stool, is it not? I would put them in the same breath. What? I have a lump.

[Luke Burbank]

She's lump. She's lump. She's in my head.

[Andrew]

What are we doing with the Blursey Psych.

[Luke Burbank]

What are we doing with the. We do with our lives?

[Andrew]

By the way, do you remember Casper Baby Pants played right before us, I think, before the Illusionist at the Thing festival?

[Luke Burbank]

I do remember that. Of course. Who can forget Chris Ballou was in my little doc that I made about the Trachtenberg family singers.

[Andrew]

Shout out to.

[Luke Burbank]

If. If there was a fifth leg, it might be the Trachtenberg family slideshow players, but they never quite got to the heights of those other bands we're talking about.

[Andrew]

I know you've been traveling, so you probably haven't seen your email, but somebody found a really good quality copy of your Molson commercial.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really?

[Andrew]

On YouTube. Because I remember seeing it on YouTube before, but I remember being kind of grainy and uploaded, but somebody found it again and it's. It's a full minute long. And whoever uploaded it, like, digitized it really nicely. So check your email.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so funny because I always. I reference that a lot of this quote, unquote beer commercial I was in. But if you watch it and you didn't know I was in it and I wasn't pausing it at probably two critical moments, you would have absolutely. No, there's no dialogue. I'm wearing glasses, which I didn't do at the time. But it was because they cast. They added someone else to the cast who looked very similar to me. And so in order to differentiate the two of us, I was glasses guy. So it's. It's just the most occasional quick passing shots of me doing this or that. It's not. I'm. You know, nobody who watched that commercial would ever in a million years even realize I was in it.

[Andrew]

It Was Brian, who sent this in? Oh, that. That's you in the big black glasses. See, I recognized the mummy right away, but I didn't know that that's you in the.

[Luke Burbank]

Back into my email.

[Andrew]

The heavy. The heavy framed glasses. That's you. Because he did screen, Brian. Okay, Screen. Grab this. And I. I didn't go into that.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought, oh, God, that's so funny. I mean, it's. I think there's a lot of stuff going on there. Yes, that's me in the glasses. God, I have so much hair back then. Okay. I look like a hedgehog.

[Andrew]

Your face doesn't look like your face. Your face is. Looks like the wrong shape, but might

[Luke Burbank]

be kind of younger, kind of round. A little rounder maybe. I don't know. Or maybe maybe it's more slender. I don't know. But it doesn't look. That really doesn't look like me or how I conceive of myself.

[Andrew]

I would. I looked at this photo and I didn't think it was you. And then I watched the whole commercial again.

[Luke Burbank]

The mummy looks like he could be in like the band system of a down. He's kind of got like a. Like a chin strap beard going kind of thing, which I don't remember that being his look.

[Andrew]

I actually. I think that might just be a pointy.

[Luke Burbank]

It's.

[Andrew]

It doesn't have a shadow. Yeah, I think it's a shadow. I don't think it's going all the way around.

[Luke Burbank]

I love that Shel Silverstein book though, too. Where the sideburn ends.

[Andrew]

That. Was that a show? That's pretty good. Put a little marker in the show.

[Luke Burbank]

Less baseball either.

[Andrew]

I remember what the other one was.

[Luke Burbank]

The Brock's Bombers.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah. No, no, this is better.

[Luke Burbank]

The sideburns end or the side burn ends? I think sideburn, singular, right? Because it's where the sidewalk.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's good. How do you feel about doing some blur space

[Luke Burbank]

medium?

[Andrew]

Ruby says, where has the time gone all of a sudden? My mom Susan is somehow 70. Somehow 70. Isn't that also a show by your guy? Somehow 70. Not that you would know if I

[Luke Burbank]

spend trained as the theme song.

[Andrew]

My mom Susan is somehow 70. Not that you would know it. Spending time with her mama. It's been such a joy to get to be in New York and sing and celebrate with you. You're such an inspiration and are truly doing retirement right. I hope you come back from your impromptu birthday trip with the coolest electric violin. Because the coolest mom deserves the coolest toys. There ain't nothing like suit nice happy blurs. A Susan. I know that we had Susan I think wishing Ruby a happy birthday. Just like was it just last week. It was recently to tradition like no other.

[Luke Burbank]

Like the master.

[Andrew]

Exactly. Mike says I don't usually do the blurs but since this is the big five zero for both Luke and myself, I thought I'd celebrate this milestone. So a very happy family to Luke Burbank and a happy birthday to myself four days later. May the next half century be as great as the last. Also, men over 50 get your prostate specific antigen blood test. It's a simple blood test that can lead to early detection of prostate cancer which is treatable if you catch it in time.

[Luke Burbank]

What are you. Phyllis.

[Andrew]

I think Mike had had some people in his life who that affected and got that message out there.

[Luke Burbank]

Can't hurt, cannot hurt.

[Andrew]

Yeah. You know the reason I. Because I think Mike even said. And I kind of trimmed down that part of the message a bit. But Mike said, I know this might be outside the boundaries of blurs days, but if you want to say it. And do you know literally why I kept that in? Because usually I do. I try to keep this short, as you can tell from this segment. And I do like kind of remove things that aren't like kind of on blurs day point. But I can think of two examples of actually hearing things on the radio. Yeah. And it. And it moving me. It was my. One of my booster shots for Covid because you know me, I got my original shots and everything. I know. But it was like a couple of, you know, I don't know how far into it we were. And I kind of knew I still hadn't gotten that last one shot number three or four or whatever it was. And I was kind of like just ready to blow it off. And I don't know what it was but I heard some people talking about on the radio just literally saying just a reminder, go get that thing. It's not that hard and it's really important. And I literally pulled my car over in the U District, booked it and got it later that day. And it was simple to do. And so then I think you never

[Luke Burbank]

know when a call to action will finally break.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And if this literally. If Mike's message could literally save a life. Amen. Absolutely worthy of our time. Almost as worthy as me telling you what kind of birthday cake to get.

[Luke Burbank]

I. Yeah, I'm. I'm almost due for my next colonoscopy.

[Andrew]

Probably not. Right. You had. What was it, three years I had

[Luke Burbank]

three years, but time flies. It's probably been a year since that. More than a year. I mean, it might be even longer. I don't know. I drive by the colonoscopy place on my way to Home Depot and I always think, I'll see you soon.

[Andrew]

Give you a little toot. Toot.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, little beep beep.

[Andrew]

Julie says, I'd like to wish a very happy blursday to my friend and co worker. Rhoda, you are the best tie Roda. Yeah, Rhoda, you are the best tie Dye loving and bulletin board. Designing Cobra. A girl could ask for work is better knowing I can always pop by for a deep dive.

[Luke Burbank]

Women can be cobros. What's next?

[Andrew]

Women can be anything, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Girls rock.

[Andrew]

I was trying to. What does Kimmy Schmidt say? That's right. Xandra the monkey was a girl. Women can be anything they want. Try to find that for the end of the show. Awesome work is better knowing I can always pop in for a deep dive on local artists or chat about our favorite favorite TBTL drops. I hope this year is the best one yet. Have fun in California. Now, who did the OC theme song?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's Phantom Planet.

[Andrew]

Is that the.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, California, here we come. I. I would say that is. That's top tier TV theme for me.

[Andrew]

First of all, I just absolutely love

[Luke Burbank]

that song, Phantom Planet featuring Jason Schwartzman on drums. Okay.

[Andrew]

You know who I always think of because they did a cover of it that I liked a lot is Rogue Wave.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't get obsessed with their cover, but I really like Rogue Wave a lot.

[Andrew]

I think you will like that because if you like that song and you like Rogue Wave, it's the two. I know that sometimes just because you like two things, you don't like them together. I think you'll like it.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you heard the Rogue Wave song Eyes?

[Andrew]

If it might be wonderful if you played it for me, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I do know that song,

[Luke Burbank]

but I don't, man. I'll tell you what. Just. I would. I would start in the fetal position.

[Andrew]

Oh, God.

[Luke Burbank]

I would start out, just save everybody some time. No need to start the song and then slowly crumple into the fetal position. You can. You can just be in the fetal position to begin the song. But it's just such, such a good song, but also just so wrenching.

[Andrew]

I'm looking to see what the album was that was descended like Vultures, and I'm trying to think if that's the one. Oh, my God. Do we run out of music again? No, I don't reckon. Oh, yeah, no, this is the album I had. So. Yes, I do know that song. I just don't know it off the top of my head now.

[Luke Burbank]

And I haven't listened the last train home. Birds fly by to tell me that I'm not alone. They use that song once in a HBO promo.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Featuring the Sopranos.

[Andrew]

Huh.

[Luke Burbank]

Had me bawling my eyes out.

[Andrew]

Really.

[Luke Burbank]

Just like Tony Soprano, like looking at something while Rogue Wave is singing Eyes. We talk about a. You talk about a weird, like.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, pairing of things.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even think it was exclusively for the Sopranos. I think it was for the whole HBO lineup. Like it might have also just been some other sense.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I mean, it was like here are the programs that were playing on hbo. But you know what? I think what they must have been doing that was pretty genius was I think they were showing the looks that the actors were giving. Yeah. In the diff now I want to find this promo. I feel like this promo was high art, you know what I mean? By itself, like even as a promotional device for HBO programming, it was itself a piece of art.

[Andrew]

Well, I found it, you know, playing it for you. It sounds like it would just be.

[Luke Burbank]

You found the HBO promo?

[Andrew]

I have. It's loading now. It has rogue waves. I promo from HBO and Cinemax. But is it just going to be. Is it just going to be the song? Like it's not going to really do us much good for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Just play it anyway. If you don't.

[Andrew]

I mean, if you don't mind. Yeah. And I can order.

[Luke Burbank]

It is my birthday evening, though it

[Andrew]

looks like it begins with a shot of maybe is a sissy. Not Sissy Spacek, the woman. I can never remember anybody's name. Never mind. Somebody's chasing somebody on a bus. Like a lover saying goodbye to somebody who's going to leave.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's not all from the Sopranos, right?

[Andrew]

No. So far I haven't seen the Sopranos. Seen some Marvel movies, but a lot of romantic.

[Luke Burbank]

Do they even. They must cut to Tony at like the very end or something. I just remember it being very.

[Andrew]

A lot of familiar faces. But my special skill is not being able to conjure the names of any of these people.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you think you would recognize James Gandolfini? Yes.

[Andrew]

No, I will know that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, absolutely.

[Andrew]

I just can't remember these actors names. It's a long promo too. It's a 90 second or we're about a minute in. Jennifer Aniston. I can name that person. Halle Berry. I can name that person. Look at me.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice. Two for two.

[Andrew]

X Men. The Last Stand. V for Vendetta. Inside Man. Thank you for smoking. Poseidon, Final Destinations. The Fast and the Furious. Take the Lead. Something New. The Lake House over the Edge. The Sentinel. She's the man. ATL United 93. The breakup. Open your eyes.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe you.

[Andrew]

No, Gandolfini. They just listed them on the end. Oh, wait, at the. No, you know who it is. It's at the very end.

[Luke Burbank]

Carmela.

[Andrew]

No, this was one for movies. Maybe they did the same treatment for their TV shows. Oh, okay, that one was just for movies. But at the end, we had the Vegas baby guy. Vince Vaughn.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Vince Vaughn.

[Andrew]

Looking at Jennifer Aniston from the TV show Friends. So who's an idiot now? Everybody. Not me. Look at me naming people.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe you named all of those by just off the dome.

[Andrew]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

It's an incredible pop culture awareness. Hey, how about those blurs days?

[Andrew]

Oh, what? Do you have somewhere to be in the next 48 hours, Luke? Cause I'm just getting started.

[Luke Burbank]

You know where I have to be with such a bad idea is this 5K. But what I learned is my body. You don't know how my body processes flying to Boston and back home in under 23 hours.

[Andrew]

Yeah. You're doing this today?

[Luke Burbank]

Both of my sciaticas are on phone. Do you have two sciaticas?

[Andrew]

I don't know. I have a scion.

[Luke Burbank]

I have both of my scions. Are all the gerbils in my scions have died? Currently, no. But like, sometimes one side of my lower back will feel a little sore if I sit too long on an airplane or in a car. But never both of them before. They are both fully activated now and. And uncomfortable. Just in time for me to go. I knew that this 5k was a big deal to Becca. She helps organize it.

[Andrew]

Oh. And I've never running it. Or is she not running it because she's an organizer?

[Luke Burbank]

She's both running it and running it.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

She. She is. She's one of the organizers of it through her work, but she's also going to be participating. And it's always been on a Thursday, and I've always had livewire, and we just didn't happen to have a livewire this week, so it was like the first time that I could do it. It's part of why I flew back so quickly, so I could Be here for it. But what I hadn't thought of was, what is my physical baadi gonna feel like after, like, 12 to 13 hours of airplane time? And it turns out it feels a little hurty, so we'll see.

[Andrew]

And you're still those beans that you were eating and everything?

[Luke Burbank]

I did actually eat some beans on the plane.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And you're tired out from saying, yeah, this. This belongs to the Red Sox. No.

[Luke Burbank]

What is he exactly? Mostly I'm tired from solving all of these equations at Harvard that nobody thought I could solve. Dude. Okay. Really, really quickly. And then we'll get back to the blur stage.

[Andrew]

I love what we're doing. I don't know what it is, but I. I love that I ed edit these to keep them short. And you and I are on, like, the 17th round of this song playing behind us.

[Luke Burbank]

We're also trying to, you know, also incentivize people to listen to the blurs day messages because there's a lot of extra content that's in there, too. This is. Okay, I'm gonna play this, and I'm gonna hope that this kind of translates as audio. This is. I think Matt Damon is hosting SNL this week, and this is the promo for him. Maybe if you're in a funny wig. So let me set it up for you really quickly. This comes back to Boston, and my little thing I just mentioned, my Good Will Hunting reference. So it starts off with the set of Saturday Night Live, and Sarah Sherman is looking at a. Kind of a chalkboard along with this other cast member whose name I don't know off the top of my head, but he's in a lot of sketches, too. He's pretty new. And they're basically trying to diagram, like, the perfect SNL sketch, right? So that's what they're looking at. And so you can kind of imagine where this is going. Remember in Good Will Hunting, when, like, Matt Damon is the. He's the custodian, but he also solves the impossible math problem that the professor has left on the board.

[Andrew]

I mean, I think I've. I don't know if I've seen it, but. I know, but you.

[Luke Burbank]

But you kind of are aware of that plot point.

[Andrew]

So, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

So here you go. So. So they're. They're trying to.

[Andrew]

We've done that.

[Luke Burbank]

God, I don't know. What if it's a commercial?

[Andrew]

Maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, what are you guys up to?

[Andrew]

We're trying to figure out the perfect SNL sketch.

[Luke Burbank]

Experts have been trying to crack the. For years. Barrel got Close once, but ultimately it drove him insane. I see you guys are doing, like, a Goodwill hunting thing with the chalkboard. And you guys know that movie's, like, 30 years old, right? Never seen it, dude. Yeah, I grew up in a cult and never seen a movie. Oh, this is hopeless. Anyway.

[Andrew]

Yeah, it's getting late when we call it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. See you, Matt Damon. See you guys. So he's left alone with the chalkboard. He's looking at it. He gets out the Expo marker, starts furiously working away, writing all kinds of facts and figures and things. Now it's the next day, they come back into the room.

[Andrew]

Oh, God. Who did this? Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Matt Damon walks. Someone finally cracked it. No, not even a little bit.

[Andrew]

Somebody just wrote bisexual cigarette.

[Luke Burbank]

Talk show.

[Andrew]

Black Snape is host, no guest.

[Luke Burbank]

Then they drew stoner carrot checking into a casino hospital. Yeah. Matt Damon, did you do this?

[Andrew]

No, Matt. No.

[Luke Burbank]

I was cleaning. By the way, he's holding the mop upside down. He's trying to mop the floor with the top part of the mop handle.

[Andrew]

Yeah, holding the mop upside down, buddy.

[Luke Burbank]

Damon, I think you did it.

[Andrew]

Nope. Yeah, you definitely did this.

[Luke Burbank]

You just sort of mocking anything.

[Andrew]

You're just making marks on the ground.

[Luke Burbank]

Just mops his way out of the room with the mops.

[Andrew]

That is really funny.

[Luke Burbank]

Pretty good.

[Andrew]

That's a promo for the episode.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a promo for the episode. That is really good.

[Andrew]

First of all, you and I are. This is the second television promo we've played during the Blur.

[Luke Burbank]

Wait, they did another one that has Rogue Wave under it? Let me play it for you.

[Andrew]

But I'm kind of surprised. First of all, I love the bit of calling a famous person by their full name, like, okay, by Matt Damon. There's something just inherently funny about that. I think that's great.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, that did not. Did not go where I expected it to.

[Andrew]

I knew it was going to be bad. I knew that.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't.

[Andrew]

But then the discriminant. What is it? Some kind of a carrot? Checking into casino hospital.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Black Snape cigarette. Black Snape.

[Andrew]

All right. Erica says.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

I hope you guys are keeping the Blurs day short this week, because I really want to get. Get this.

[Luke Burbank]

I've got news for you, Erica.

[Andrew]

Erica says, I'd like to wish a very happy tbtl. Too bad they're late getting this. To Andrew Blursday to my partner and favorite 11. Justin, you are the loveliest human, and I truly hit the life lottery when I met you. Eternally glad you were born Cute. Now, if you play that lottery too much, we are going to have to take you into the casino hospital.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. Like a carrot.

[Andrew]

All right, this one is. This one just came in. So I haven't pre read this. I hope there's nothing filthy in it. Maya says to my sister Riley, also known.

[Luke Burbank]

That's why we go along with the Blurs days.

[Andrew]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

There's more time for the new Blurs days to come in.

[Andrew]

That's right. Maya says to my sister Riley, who also. Who's also known as Auntie K.K. or would you say Auntie? It depends where Maya's from. Right. East coast, Boston area. That'd be Auntie. But if you're in.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that's more of a black white thing. By the way. I don't know if that's regional as much as sort of ethnic.

[Andrew]

Well, I. My lived experience doesn't back that up.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew]

I. Because I. I was friends with. It's very New Englandy and very. And actually like kind of. I think.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. Would the guy in a Celtics jersey be wrong about New England stuff? Think about it.

[Andrew]

Matt Damon. You know what? I will say that I was loud. Loud wrong about TV theme songs before. So I'm not saying that I'm not open to more information about it, but I will just say that the people that I think of first who are saying aunt were not black people.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure. I think probably where I grew up, I hadn't heard Auntie. Except for people I knew who were black. That was more a way that I heard them saying, yeah, Ant. And it jumped out at me. But I also am not gonna die on the hill of. That's not a thing that people of a variety of backgrounds say. Depending on where you are in the country.

[Andrew]

I think that the good news is we improved. This Blurs day message to Auntie ak. What do you think? What a wild year, says Maya. I'm proud of you for making big changes and showing up for yourself this last year. You know what to do even when it's hard in your new year. More joy, more rest, more renewal. I think this is going to be a good one for you. I couldn't love you more. I'm so glad you are my sister. Now let's go get a whole cake. Love you from your sister Maya.

[Luke Burbank]

Like the band.

[Andrew]

Wait, there's a band?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. You know I've been married two times, right?

[Andrew]

Was I using. Disillusion is the wrong word. What is the fancy word I was trying to use the disillusion of a marriage.

[Luke Burbank]

Not disillusion.

[Andrew]

That means something else. That means, like.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, disillusion means to kind of like, lose your sort of hope about something or your belief in something, but it's. But not resolving. But there's some. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Like, what's the. Well, I'm just glad you don't know either, because I feel like a real idiot.

[Luke Burbank]

It's been. If anybody should know, it's me. I've signed a lot of paperwork to this very effect.

[Andrew]

All right, everybody, this is the last one here. And I said, you know, I usually kind of keep these type, but since you and I have introduced a lot of silliness into today's proceedings, I will allow this one from our friend Cheryl, who says, could you please wish a very happy golden blurs day to the album schubert dip by EMF. It was released on May 7, 1991. Here's to another unbelievable year of never having to ask when Schubert Dip came out. Wait, when did Schubert Dip?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, again, not that I am, despite all of the conversation today, I don't orient my world around my birthday very much, but it's funny that it is very close to the date that I happen to be born on. And I'm, as a joke, always asking, when did Shubert Dip come out? It should be easy for me to remember.

[Andrew]

Yes. And now do you know why we say that? And I'm looking for the tape here whose joke that is? When did Shubertip come out?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, it was. It's Mark Proach, I believe, trying to remember something. Is it as part of one of his K. Strauss Yo Y Man.

[Andrew]

It is K. Strauss yo yo man. And it's a whole thing. I'm not going to play this whole thing. But it's like Champion on Hometown this morning. That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Kate Strass, good morning. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. How are you? Good. And you go around to schools with Yo Yos and show demonstrations and you have a.

[Andrew]

Maybe I am just going to play the whole thing. Why not? You know, I go around teaching kids about. Oh, that's right. One of his bits, too. So this is really something that was on local tv. This guy who is now an actor that you've seen in things like Better Call Saul and whatnot, was a comedian who would, who would weasel his way under real TV morning shows and say that he was like a Yo yo master who used it to educate kids. But he. He's terrible at it. He's absolutely terrible. And he's terrible at being on tv. And what I love the meta joke of him just. Just destroying his lapel mic and just like making this terrible noise. I think you even in this one hear like that thing that happens when you put a cell phone too close to a microphone. You know that.

[Luke Burbank]

I know, I know that sound. Well, the environment.

[Andrew]

Actually.

[Luke Burbank]

I've only been in one school so

[Andrew]

far and I'll be honest, it didn't go so hot. In fact, it was literally a major disaster. Oh no. Because basically the kids didn't like my stories and it's no surprise because they were running around and. I'm sorry. I think there's something to be said about how kids are brought up these days. And I come from a home that

[Luke Burbank]

believed in spanking demonstrations. I mean, you are the yo yo champ.

[Andrew]

You brought a Yo yo with you, right? See you have the up and down.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Pretty basic.

[Andrew]

And then. Oh. Oh. You alright? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's do it. How long have you been practicing Yo Yo? Since.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh God.

[Andrew]

When did.

[Luke Burbank]

Since you were younger. When did Schubert Dip come out? That's emf. Unbelievable. Right? Was on Schubert Dip. Right?

[Andrew]

Unbelievable.

[Luke Burbank]

I was thinking, are we. We're done with the blurs days.

[Andrew]

Okay, so we are we say.

[Luke Burbank]

I was thinking, I know this is so not in the digital kind of stream of stuff that pops up on your phone, but for some reason when I'm looking at TikTok for too long, it'll veer sometimes into just like competitive eating. A lot of people, not like the Coney island contest. Right. But just like people that can eat a lot of food quickly that are kind of going around as sort of like almost like a samurai so of, of of of extreme eating. So they'll just show up anywhere in America that has some sort of a. Like here's the 72 ounce cowboy steak that nobody can eat. Or here's the, you know, here's the burrito challenge. And it's just like an insanely large, you know, burrito or whatever. And it's basically like they'll kind of show up with their. With if they're, you know, have enough going on. Maybe they'll have a guy with a camera. Sometimes it's just them and a tripod and you know, their cell phone camera. But because I've allowed this content to. To happen on my feed, I get more of it. And it's just funny because I thought it would be a case draws type of guy who goes around but he can only eat about three bites of anything. Yes.

[Andrew]

But makes it just kind of like deal about walking through the door, does

[Luke Burbank]

the whole setup and he's got the, you know, real kind of like he's got. A lot of times they wear gloves. Like, they wear latex gloves because they're eating the food so aggressively that, like, they just mash it. Let's say there's a lot of french fries. They're balling the french fries up into balls because it's more efficient. So you go in, you've got your camera, your tripod, you've got your T shirt that's like, says beard meets food. That's a guy that I follow.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or like, Reina is crazy. That's another person I see on there. You go in with all of the kind of trappings of being one of these competitive eaters, but you have the most bird like appetite.

[Andrew]

That's so good. You take three bites just like. I. I can't. God, I just can't.

[Luke Burbank]

You got time left.

[Andrew]

You got much time left.

[Luke Burbank]

You're 30 seconds in, you've eaten four french fries, and you're asking how much time left?

[Andrew]

They broke me. They broke me. I love that idea. Do it. Do it. You have access to tv. My next fact.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? My. The back half of my 50s, Andrew, are going to be all about my improv comedy and playing out at various locations. So, okay, that's going to do it for today's episode of tbtl. But we are going to be back here tomorrow. The idea that we do another show tomorrow after today's show is obviously laughable. It's actually comical. Like there is nothing under the sun that we have yet to discuss. But I guess we'll try again tomorrow. So please join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew]

And good luck to all. I don't actually have a cell phone. You don't have a cell phone? Well, I had a cell phone, Zan obvs.

[Luke Burbank]

But I lost it at the zoo.

[Andrew]

A monkey took it and she wouldn't give it back.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Xan, the monkey was a woman. Women can be anything these days.

[Andrew]

Power out.