#4723 Three Conferences Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Summary

TBTL Episode #4723: Three Conferences Outside Ebbing, Missouri – Summary

Episode Date: May 8, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Theme: Friday banter, awkward social interactions, milestone birthdays, and the quirks of living life honestly on-air (and sometimes, embarrassingly in real life).

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Overview

In this Friday episode, Luke and Andrew riff on the joys and pitfalls of middle age, the challenge of navigating awkward social interactions, and the value (and mortification) of honesty—both in their personal lives and as podcast hosts. Luke celebrates his 50th birthday, shares tales of running mishaps, and reflects on confrontations and regrets in public spaces. The show is full of digressions, running gags, deep dives into TBTL lore, and listener appreciation, blending humor, nostalgia, and reflections on friendship and community.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Birthday Low-Key Vibes & Awkward Well Wishes

• Andrew addresses the audience to clarify he’s already acknowledged Luke’s birthday off-air, so no need for a fuss:
  “I just want to let the listeners know that I already wished Luke a very casual happy birthday before the show... He wants to keep it low-key this year.” (03:00)
• Luke reflects on odd birthday texts from acquaintances who only reach out annually and immediately assign him “work” by asking for personal updates:
  “Can you imagine giving somebody a work assignment on their birthday?” (03:58)

2. The Elevator Encounter—Small Talk Gone Awry

• Andrew recounts an awkward elevator run-in with a former colleague, attempting to summarize years' worth of life in a few seconds, only to have the interaction land flat—but in a disarmingly adult, genuine way:
  “He just sort of laughed and then looked at me and said, so, how are you doing? What’s up with you?” (07:19)
• The hosts riff on the challenges of small talk, how getting a new puppy is the best shortcut for catching up with people (“We got a puppy!”), and the limited shelf life for this conversational asset.

3. Luke’s Running Catastrophe at the 5K

• Luke describes running a 5K with Becca (his girlfriend) and foolishly attempting to match her Boston Marathon–qualifying pace, which ends with him vomiting in rose bushes at the finish line: “Let me tell you, Andrew, there was no ‘reading the picture’ in this particular situation. At about mile two, I thought my entire gutty works were gonna eject from my body in every direction.” (11:36)
  • He recalls a similar incident at a family run filled with the shame of not being able to keep up.
  • Becca’s reaction was understated but kind:
    “...she appeared with a bottle of water and said, ‘You doing OK?’” (13:31)

4. The Shoulder Check Incident—Public Confrontation

• On the return leg of the run, Luke is forcibly bumped by a buff, younger guy who refuses to yield space on a narrow path, leading to a rapid-fire inner debate on whether to escalate: “He goes, ‘Yeah, what the [expletive].’ And I’m just like... oh, he did that on purpose. He was trying to prove a point.” (21:14)
  • Luke processes the humiliation and restraint, knowing a workplace crowd is watching:
    “If I go back and fight this guy, I lose even more ground in the race and in your relationship and in life, potentially.” (22:37)

5. Quirks of Social Protocol & TBTL Inside Jokes

• Digressions about short person complexes, defending yourself while naked in hotel rooms, and the innocence of streaking and “honking it,” as well as how cutesy language downplays serious issues.
• Recurring gags and impressions: Coach Ben “neg” jokes, one-second impression competitions, poking fun at the rigor of text etiquette.

6. Listener Community & Dazzling Donor Segment (36:08)

• Michelle from Edina, MN, is honored as a “dazzling donor” and uses her segment to remind listeners to support local food banks and mutual aid, noting: “Just because it is calmer does not mean the fight is over.” (38:00)
• Discussion of the changing climate of activism and continued need for community engagement.
• Lisa from Olympia, WA, is also celebrated, enumerating her favorite TBTL memories—from “cat rolling” to “Cooking With Shondori” segments, and the depths of online ten-community support.

7. Nostalgia Fest—Legacy TBTL Segments & Clips

• Revisiting ancient segments like “Cooking With Shondori” (far back in TBTL lore), and laughs about lost and found audio files (“Do Not Play” labeled mysteries).
• Andrew and Luke reminisce over obscure episode moments, deeply specific TBTL inside jokes, and the technical pitfalls of digital archiving.

8. TBTL Community Calendar & Listener Events (68:50)

• Announcement of upcoming TBTL meetups:
  • May 16th, 3pm at Bricksworth Beer Company, Burnsville, MN (find details on Slack under #Minnesotans) (69:48)
  • July 5th Mariners game (section 323), with TBTL Book Club members in Seattle (70:25)
• Reflections on how the tens organize to support and befriend each other, often independently of the hosts:
  “It’s just an amazing thing... It ain’t me reading texts from my mom, although I am going to do that really quickly.” (73:32)

9. Quick Hits and Tallies

• Blue Dot Fever: Briefly, Luke recaps the term as the wave of canceled mega-concert tours due to unsold tickets (“blue dots”) and reiterates he'd always rather book a smaller venue than risk an ego-crushing empty arena (75:24, summary at 76:04).
• Reflection on skyrocketing concert ticket costs and how broken the live events business model has become (77:01).
• Plans for the 5,000th TBTL episode are speculated about, and the math is calculated on-air; a massive, community-centric event is teased for approximately mid-next-summer (45:58).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On awkward social demands during birthdays:
  “Can you imagine texting somebody once a year and saying, ‘Happy birthday. Hey, thanks, buddy. How are you? Give me three things now.’” – Luke (04:05)

• On the elevator/life catch-up challenge:
  “He just sort of laughed and then looked at me and said, so, how are you doing? What’s up with you?” – Andrew (07:19)

• On running behind a much faster partner:
  “If you need to go faster than me, feel free to go ahead. It’s like The Rock saying, ‘If you want to do more push-ups than me, go for it.’” – Luke (11:24)

• On the ‘Blue Dot Fever’ of empty concerts:
  “Book smaller venues. Even if TBTL were a stadium level event...I’d be like, ‘We’re booking 400 seat theaters.’” – Luke (76:04)

• Listener Michelle’s reminder:
  “Just because it is calmer does not mean the fight is over.” – Michelle (38:00)

• Lisa’s list of TBTL highlights:

  • “Cooking with Shondori” music rediscovered
  • “Cat rolling” segment nostalgia
    “I kind of miss this a little bit. I mean, I’m not gonna start doing this to you a lot...” – Luke (60:07)

• On TBTL community:
  “The tens being awesome to each other...it just becomes this naturally and organically occurring thing.” – Luke (72:43)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Birthday acknowledgment & awkward texts: 03:00–04:35
• Andrew’s elevator encounter: 05:08–08:26
• Luke’s 5K running disaster & race drama: 10:12–14:48
• The shoulder check incident analysis: 19:48–29:11
• Dazzling Donors segment: 36:08–45:58
• Blue Dot Fever (mega-tours not selling): 75:24–77:15
• TBTL Community Calendar/meetups: 68:50–72:42

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Tone & Style

The episode is conversational, self-deprecating, playfully irreverent, and rich with inside jokes and running narrative threads. The hosts move seamlessly between the trivial and the heartfelt, anchoring absurd stories with personal vulnerability and affection for their dedicated community.

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Final Thoughts

This episode encapsulates TBTL’s enduring appeal: its blend of everyday awkwardness, generational touchstones, loyal fandom, and the hosts’ chemistry. Whether humorously dissecting modern ticketing woes, overanalyzing etiquette, or reminiscing about past episodes, Luke and Andrew create a space equal parts silly and sincere—too beautiful to live, perhaps, but perfect for a Friday.

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End of Summary.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, here's a little story we get

[Luke Burbank]

to tell about one cool mom that we know so well. Her name is Barbara, that's what they call her. She's got four children that make her want to holler. But we're real good kids. We do all our chores to give mom the time to shop at all the stores. We think she's the best. Yeah, a number one she's even a friend and we have a lot of fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

She's a mom, She's a mom in an accident. She's a mom. TBTM.

[Luke Burbank]

So you mean to tell me that all of those sounds were coming from your body?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yup. Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is.

[Luke Burbank]

Friday, Friday, Gotta get down on Friday. You're singing that wrong.

[Andrew Walsh]

How I made it up. Like, how do we have this? Like, nobody made this.

[Luke Burbank]

This belongs to the pack.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm thinking that they hanging off the green monster, yo. Let's see again.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. A good podcast helps you connect the dots. My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host. It is our turn. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we've arrived, folks, at episode 4723 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Big news. If you are going to a concert this summer, a big mega concert, you better double check because a bunch of artists are getting what is called Blue dot fever, meaning that people are apparently not buying tickets to go to concerts and they're being canceled.

[Shondori]

Is this a thing people care about?

[Luke Burbank]

No. Just a heads up. The TBTL stadium tour this summer is. It's not because we haven't sold tickets, but because we want to spend more time with our family. We are. We're taking a step back to reflect. So that is canceled. The TBTL stadium tour is canceled. But we are gonna bring you today's episode of the program with the help of this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. May be best known for his depictions of the tall ship.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I sit with it.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. And if you could just. Just amuse yourself for a second. I just need to talk directly to the listeners here just for one second. Listen, I don't mean to, like, turn

[Luke Burbank]

off my headphones or anything.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can listen in. I don't. I don't really have a strong opinion on the matter. But I just want to let the listeners know that I already wished Luke a very casual happy birthday before the show. Like, we don't have to make a big deal of this. We're not going to do a thing on the show. He wants kind of keep it low key this year. But I don't want all of you thinking like, how did Andrew forget? So just, we took care of it and now everybody cool. Let's just move on with our weekend. It's just a cool weekend, you know? Yeah, we're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have fun.

[Luke Burbank]

We talked about it at length yesterday, by the way. So that's, you know, it was already handled yesterday. It's been handled pre show. You know what you didn't do, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no. What?

[Luke Burbank]

No. And I appreciate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, good.

[Luke Burbank]

This. The person who did this will never hear this. So I feel comfortable pointing this out. It has been kind of a big morning for me in, in the text message department. You know, I'm turning 50 today and a lot of people are reaching out and I appreciate that. And somebody who I know who I, you know, again, it's thoughtful. They reach out on my birthday. But the last time they texted me was one year ago. Texted me. Let's see, I'm getting the exact verbiage here. They said, let's see here. Let's see. Happy birthday this morning. Which was sweet. I said, thanks, buddy. And they said, how are you doing? Give me three things.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. Wait.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you imagine giving somebody a work assignment on their birthday?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do I know this person?

[Luke Burbank]

You do not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't. Okay. I thought this might.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah. Oh, really?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it had a little bit of a Mount Rushmore of rap question about it.

[Luke Burbank]

It does feel like.

[Andrew Walsh]

There. I thought it might have been.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not, it's. It's Neither of the two people you might have assumed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It would be. But somebody who's similarly unaware of how to operate in a. Maybe sometimes in a text message. Can you imagine saying texting somebody once a year and saying, happy birthday. Hey, thanks, buddy. How are you? Give me three things now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm feeling a little.

[Luke Burbank]

Give yourself three things. Yeah, I'll give you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll give you.

[Luke Burbank]

One of them is a long walk. The other is a short pier. And the third, me laughing at you as you sink to the bottom of the lake.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll give you one thing. You can count it on one finger. I. I will admit to having a little bit of an awkward. I'm, you know, me. I'M not super great at or psyched about kind of small talk, but I was at. You know, I'm going to name names on this story because I don't care who I burn. I'm only burning myself, honestly. But I was.

[Luke Burbank]

I consider this your birthday present to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Just embarrassing.

[Luke Burbank]

Burning bridges.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. And burning my own reputation. Well, this isn't super bad. It's not as cringy as that, I don't think. But I was a little cringe in the elevator the other day making elevator talk. So I was at KOW to be on a podcast last week or the week before or something, and one of our former colleagues, Derek Wong, I had not seen him in. I mean, in forever. I mean, we used to hang out, right? Like, we used to work together, but I used to see him a lot. Like, outside of work. We were friends, but, you know, time just, you know, I haven't worked at KOW in a really long time, and time marches on. And so Derek and I have not seen each other in a really, really long time. But of course, still love the dude. And I saw him in the hallway. In fact, I was waiting for the elevator and I heard somebody approaching. And I kind of do this thing where I don't usually try not to, like, lock in with the person who's kind of coming around the corner. KOW has sort of a weird setup on the ground floor, and so you're kind of alone in this little hallway, and usually it's going to be somebody I don't know, or I assume that or whatever. And I don't. I feel like I need to protect other people from me. So I kind of just like, give everybody their space. And I don't really look at them too much, but I. So I just sort of glanced up for a second, then glanced back down, then kind of did a double take. I was like, derek, oh, my gosh. And we're like, hey, you know, catching up really, really briefly. The elevator doors open. We both enter. We're the only people on the elevator. And I'm like, man, it's been a really long time. We do that thing maybe. What has it been, like, five years more? And I said, okay, just, you know, before we get to the top, what

[Luke Burbank]

are you planning for Luke's birthday?

[Andrew Walsh]

I said, give him three things. I said, I mean it.

[Luke Burbank]

You do know him. It's Derek. He was Derek.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was clearly a joke. But, you know, it's only. It's a very short elevator ride from the ground floor to the third Floor. And so I said, well, just tell me. Just catch me up on everything that I've missed since we last talked in your elevator pitch. Yeah. So I didn't say elevator pitch. And I will say that it was clearly a joke. But he just sort of laughed and then looked at me and said, so, how are you doing? What's up with you? And like. And I was kind of like my obvious joke that we can't catch up on five or 10 years of. Of life in this very short span of time.

[Luke Burbank]

One floor, I believe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And I think you hit three. Right. So you enter on one, you get off at three.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, you're right, because I stole those chairs from, I think two. Maybe the second floor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because that's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Allegedly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Allegedly. Exactly. That's the closest we ever got you on tape admitting that. Anyway, I don't know what you're talking about on your birthday. I will just say I have no idea what he's talking about, Dean. So anyway, I gotta say it was one of those things where I kind of made what I thought was just a small talk joke. But I wouldn't say it didn't land well. But I appreciated Derek just saying or seeming to imply. I acknowledge that you've said this spoof. But now let me just talk to you like adults talk to each other and ask you how you're doing. You know what I mean? It was like I kind of did

[Luke Burbank]

Incredibly Derek, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Which was Raven Simone's second show, which didn't do as well.

[Andrew Walsh]

Derek Simone's.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. The follow up to that's so Raven was that's Incredibly Derek. But yes, that. That is a very adult response to it. Like, hey, let's. Let's just actually, let's do this. A very genuine and wonderful and earnest individual, which is a kind of energy you and I don't know how to deal with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I will say this. Generally speaking, I was proud of myself because in a certain way that, you know, his response was the way that you and I just interpreted it here. But it was also way. A way of kicking the hacky sack back to me without really doing a lot of busy work with it himself. You know what I mean? Like, and I'll tell you what I have. This is. Nobody talks about this. The best part of adopting a puppy is when somebody says, what's new? You can say, we got a puppy. It's like the perfect thing you can talk about in 30 seconds, you know? And just like. And it was, you know, it's still very fresh. It's new. I think I can do this for at least the first two years of Lucy's life. If I haven't seen somebody in a while, like, that's just great. It's like, oh, we got a puppy. Oh, yeah. You want to see a picture? Here it is. And then the conversation can continue or end or whatever. But so often I'm like, I don't know, the same. Same. You still doing the podcast? Yeah. How's it going? Same old. You know what I mean? I don't. I never have good answers.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is the thing, though, and this is my theory on marriage. You have to keep acquiring puppies now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, Every year for the rest of your life. Because your whole thing is, I'm married. I'm divorced, I'm married. Is that what you're saying?

[Luke Burbank]

There's always something and then you throw in the good joke. I'm a great ex husband. You get a free house. So you also have to give your dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, now that's pretty good. That's pretty.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm just telling you this is why they call me Mr. Elevator.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's that why everybody. I thought it was because you have your ups and downs.

[Luke Burbank]

That's because I wear lifts in my shoes. Like Anthony Scaramucci trying to add a little height to the whole situation. Speaking of people. And I don't want to make this on my birthday of all days, Andrew, I don't want to make this a height based conversation, but I did have a run in a so called and I guess a literal run in Yesterday during this 5K.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my goodness, Luke, I'm so. That's what I should have asked you about. I forgot that you ran a damn 5k yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, a 5k is three and a half miles. So that's a whole amount of. I did run.

[Andrew Walsh]

I went up and down the stairs several times yesterday. I was winded each time.

[Luke Burbank]

You didn't take the elevator?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I was scared Derek was going to be on there grilling me.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, but more about you, Andrew. I was. Yeah. So I did this little run down in. In Portland. Yesterday was a thing that Becca's. She works for the Chamber of Commerce and they put this thing on the. The rose city 5k and. Well, two things that happened. One was I made an absolute grievous error, which was to try to run at the same pace that Becca was running at. Remember when she qualified for the Boston Marathon recently and I cried telling you about it. Well, that should have been a lesson to me. That this is a very fast person. And I didn't bring a watch. I didn't have any way of pacing myself. I said, I'll just run with you. And she said to me, what? What? Upon reflection, is maybe one of the cutest things of all time. She goes, if you need to go faster than me, feel free to go ahead. It's like. It's like the Rock saying, if you want to do more push ups than me, go for it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? It's like when Julio. It's when Julio turns to Josh Naylor and says, you can go ahead and go faster than if you want to.

[Luke Burbank]

And let me tell you, Andrew, there was no reading the picture in this particular situation. All I knew was that at about mile two, I thought my entire gutty works were gonna eject from my body in every direction.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? That's what. I know that you've talked about this a little bit before, but I didn't know that that is a direct reaction that early.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I mean, maybe mostly throwing up. I did throw up at the end of the race, by the way, which started happening to me more than I would like. And again, it seems to be associated typically with running with my girlfriend. Well, okay, so the last time that it happened, we were in down in Salem at her family's place, and we went on this maybe five or six mile run. It was Becca, her brother Scott, and then their nephew Alexander. And I think with that, what got me with that one was I, at the end of the race, I really gunned it. Or at the end of the run, it wasn't a race, I really gunned it. And everyone was just standing around casually, just like, well, that was a nice little family jog. And I leaned over in a ditch and vomited aggressively.

[Andrew Walsh]

Goodfellas style.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. And then I did the same thing, except in some rose bushes, which, by the way, was kind of apropos for being the Rose City Marathon. Literally threw up on a rose bush, but far away from the prying eyes of everyone. And Becca had long since finished. So thankfully, it was actually very sweet because I ran through the little inflated, like, finish line, passed everyone past some kind of like, running, I mean, kind of past some sort of like, I don't know, truck that had brought some part of the finish line there, you know, behind it on some rose bushes, threw up, and was sitting there just like questioning my life decisions on the eve of my 50th. And then just at some point, Becca appeared with a bottle of water and said, you doing okay?

[Andrew Walsh]

Were you Hoping that she didn't even know. Were you kind of hoping? Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I was hoping nobody knew because this was. The problem was that this was her work event. So there's a lot of people from her work who were there not to get into the vagaries of the course, which, by the way, I have notes. But you went down the Portland waterfront along the Willamette, and then you went.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry for distracting you.

[Luke Burbank]

Not at all. But I'm.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is. I never promised you a rose garden. I was really hoping to. Like, I was hearing this in my roses.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm picturing you are going to be thriving. Think about. Think about the. You know, you cannot destroy matter or energy. Think about the energy that I inputted into the system of those roses.

[Andrew Walsh]

Very acidic soil, anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

But you basically had to run. You had to run sort of down and back along the waterfront. And as we were coming back, so we were still like, maybe two miles in, and I was starting to really realize that I was not capable of keeping up with Becca. We ran by a bunch of her colleagues, and they were like, go, Becca. And I sort of like, pointed at her like, get a load. Because I was. At this point, I was like, maybe 10 paces behind her. I was like, get a load of this fast runner. I did this kind of motion like this. But they interpreted as like, no one's cheering for Luke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

So they always.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, that's like, that's not. You were trying deflect. If anything, I was trying to be

[Luke Burbank]

like, get a load of this fast runner who's in front of me. But they took it as, like, no one's. Hey, let's, like, you know, I know

[Andrew Walsh]

you don't want that in this moment. I know that you have moments that we joke around about where you're like, you're a hot dog specific extrovert.

[Luke Burbank]

Not in this moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

You slam dunk when they introduce you on the core globe trotter thing. You just mentioned that the other day. I do know that sometimes.

[Luke Burbank]

Are still talking about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know that sometimes you are that guy. But I also know you well enough to know that in this moment, that is not what you want.

[Luke Burbank]

Particularly as I'm. As it's starting to sort of occur to me how it looks and also how tired I am. Like, I had no Riz.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I know I had whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

The antithesis of Riz. Okay, so. But here's the crazy. The kind of crazy thing that happened right before this, which also may have attributed to My entire mental state, there's like, they do this, like, the Portland waterfront is constantly, this time of year, constantly having events, and they're caught over the weekend. So I think they had a Cinco de Mayo event actually. And that's not the weekend. I think that was like Tuesday or Wednesday. Tuesday. But they'll do this. They'll put this stuff out. It'll be rides and, you know, snack shacks and all this stuff. And then they take it all down. And then they just. Then the next weekend comes, they put up a new thing. But in the. And my thought, by the way, I had a thought while I was jogging. This was the other direction. This is before I was super tired. I was like, can't they double dip on some of this stuff? Like, does it. Is anyone gonna notice if the Cinco de Mayo rides are the same as the Rose Festival rides? Like, you're constantly, like setting up this whole thing. There's a big kind of grass lawn. You're doing this whole thing, then you're taking it down, then you're doing another thing, then you're taking it down. And they all have essentially the same contours, rides, elephant ears. You know, like,

[Andrew Walsh]

you could have this run on Cinco de Mayo every year or something. It could be the thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that too, but. So, I mean, that would be another. I just feel like it's weird that they're. They're setting it up and breaking it down. And setting it up and breaking it down. But part of the. The breaking it down, I guess, or the maybe they hadn't broken this down, is there's all this fencing that's along the perimeter of this grass. So, you know, this is to keep people who didn't buy their ticket to the Cinco de Mayo rides.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. To keep the pores out, keep the hoi polloi.

[Luke Burbank]

I know how the Cinco de Mayo ride based event, which, you know, is just drawing in the top. The 1%.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know how.

[Luke Burbank]

1%.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know how the chamber play. I know how the chamber play. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

For the record, they're not in charge of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I'm just joking. By the way, really quick question because I'm dying to know, was coach Ben there? Because I. He was great. Was he cheering you on like you were a junior slugger?

[Luke Burbank]

Not as much as I would have liked. He kind of slightly. He slightly negged me. I was like, coach Ben, I was, I was like, way more excited to see him than he was to see me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I said to somebody from the you know, from the. The company, from the organization. I said, ah. I said, you know, Ben sends these amazing, like, dispatches about the. The Little League team. And he goes, sometimes he reads them the day I send them. Sometimes he reads them days later.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's Ben, like, kind of rolling his eyes at the fact that you're just sitting content.

[Luke Burbank]

He goes, he goes. Sometimes they have more important things to get to, like Luke mowing his lawn.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's not wrong, but geez.

[Luke Burbank]

I know, Geez. Who's that an impression of?

[Andrew Walsh]

AD Miles.

[Luke Burbank]

God bless it.

[Andrew Walsh]

How many Sniffer Pipper.

[Luke Burbank]

How many Mike Sniffer Pippers do you know let mean it's cold out here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Jeez.

[Luke Burbank]

We need to start like a one second impression competition on this show where we do one second impressions, because I think we would. You and I would do fairly well with each other on this because we say kind of say the same stuff repetitively. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I feel warm and I'm levitating.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually Mikey Day.

[Andrew Walsh]

There you go.

[Luke Burbank]

Mikey Day from snl, but before he was on snl, that was from the David Blaine sketches. So we're running back. I mean, back. We're like a mile and a half in, and they've got these barriers up along the pavilion, maybe you'd call it. Which what that's doing is that is sort of concentrating all of the runners. And we're also in this spot where some of us are. Are running back toward, like, it's a turnaround. So you've got the. Those of us who've already gone to the end point and turned around and are running. And. And the people that are still on their way to the end point. Right. So that's. Let's just say, you know, let's say it's four or five people that are still, you know, sort of shoulder to shoulder that are on their way to the end point. Four or five people that are shoulder to shoulder that are. Have been to the endpoint and are continuing on this barrier. And then also random people who are on the promenade who are on the Embarcadero.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Parents riding bikes with their kids.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. People.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, this is not like a. This isn't like a marathon where they close down the streets. I mean, it was. It was well marked and stuff, but it's like, you know, nobody's stopping people from also enjoying their Thursday afternoon in Portland and along the waterfront. So I'm running, and it just so happens, this crazy thing kind of happens where it's like the group that I'm with. And Becca's, like, three steps in front of me. The group that I'm with, the kind of our cohort, and then a cohort that's coming the other way, and then the fencing, and then I am just locked in this spot that I'm in, and I cannot go left or right. I really cannot. And there are two guys that are walking the opposite direction, and one of them kind of a buff. Kind of a diminutive guy. And I don't realize this until it's happening. I'm like. I'm trying to move. I'm running, and we're about to collide, and I'm trying to move over, and I cannot get fully out of his way. And our shoulders hit. Just glance. And again. I have no idea this is even happening, because I'm just thinking about trying to keep jogging and impress my girlfriend who's in front of me. One of the most difficult positions to impress your girlfriend from is called four paces behind you. Hit a charity 5K. One of the least impressive positions. And so I don't realize this is happening until it's happening, but I bump shoulders with this guy, and I'm kind of, like, a little stunned because I. Like, I wasn't trying to do that. I wasn't even thinking about it. And then he goes, yeah. What the fb.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

He says to me, no, yeah, it was a shorter. It was a shorter word starting with B.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm just like. I take, like, four more steps, and I look back, and I realize, oh, he did that on purpose. He was trying to prove a point, which is like, I'm not moving out of the way for these people that are jogging. And again, I don't want to make ish. Like, probably. I'd say late 20s.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Very young, brown hair. That doesn't matter, but it's burning my brain.

[Andrew Walsh]

Picture it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's. He's not just. He's not. Oh, this is amazing. I thought you were gonna say you kind of did this, and he thought you were being aggro, but you think that he was actually being aggro. He saw this coming, and he kind of stood his ground and kind of gave you that aggress shoulder.

[Luke Burbank]

He thought it was a stand his ground state. Oh, I hate it a lot, Andrew. I hate it so much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no.

[Luke Burbank]

And I. When I tell you, 8 million different possibilities flashed through my head in that, like, three steps I took, because I was significantly larger than this person. But he was younger and buffer than Me and I was at a work event for my girlfriend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Girlfriend's work event.

[Luke Burbank]

And also I didn't want her to keep the dusting me. It was like, if I go back and fight this guy, I lose even more ground in the race and in

[Andrew Walsh]

your relationship and in life potentially, I'm assuming.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I don't know what Beck is gain it.

[Andrew Walsh]

You think?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, a thought I had. If she sees me just body slamming this guy, is that a turn on?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's interesting because I just think that now you and I are very different people. And I've never truly been in a fight in my life, but any occasion where I could turn on or turn off my version of aggression, Genevieve would prefer me to turn it off. For example, yelling, you know, you're a piece of shit at a neighbor. Or if something like that were to

[Luke Burbank]

come up, sure, I would say also consider body slamming. It's very cathartic. No, you're absolutely right. I would not have. Well, first of all, Becca would have had she had no awareness this even happened. This, this momentary thing happened. And had I run back and fought the guy, she would have also had no idea it would have happened because she was on her, like, race pace. She was, she was. She was gone like the wind. But I thought. So the. The things I considered doing was running back and body slamming him. Running back and getting body slammed by him.

[Andrew Walsh]

I considered that. Okay, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Running back and sweeping the leg, Karate kid style.

[Andrew Walsh]

Running back and sweeping the sidewalk because I had seen some litter, huh?

[Luke Burbank]

Running back to fight him, but then pretending like I was there to sweep the sidewalk because I lost my nerve. Again, so many different possibilities. But I was so mad. I felt so utterly disrespected by this person because I was A, not trying to do that. B, I had literally no option. B was just like, he was just a person looking in this moment. And again, I don't want to make this. I don't make this about physicality, but it was hard for me to disconnect the idea that he was a very kind of like a pretty muscular but not particularly tall guy. And I could only imagine that this was like part of a larger maybe thing he was dealing with or being in the world where it was just like he was like, he should have not having my chicks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Like if there was some sort of a short person complex sort of.

[Luke Burbank]

Someday, though, someday they'll come up with

[Andrew Walsh]

a name for it. Exactly. It was like, that's what you're talking about. I thought that he.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought he Died on the island of St Helena complex.

[Andrew Walsh]

He had a Waterloo tattoo.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you know that there. There is a tortoise who lives on the island of St. Helena who got there like 30 or 40 years after Napoleon died and he's still alive?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Isn't that wild? They thought he died recently, the tortoise. He didn't. It was an Internet rumor. This was a story I did on livewire. But, yeah, there is a. There is a living animal on the island of St. Helena that got there not as long after Napoleon was there as you would think. You know, for. For being alive on the planet. I think he got there 50 years after Napoleon died on the island of St. Helena.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I would think that if anybody should not have to deal with Internet rumors about themselves, it should be this turtle. Tortoise.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tortoise.

[Luke Burbank]

Tortoise. Tortoise.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not fully read in on the difference, but yes, it is a tortoise. Like the difference. So anyway, yeah, so this. This. This guy was, you know, and I think most people have had an experience like this in a crowded city where you somehow encounter the person who has made it in that moment anyway, their personality to not move, their course of walking. Sure, in some. And again, I'm. I don't. For all of the things that my ego is tied up in, this is not one of them. Like, if I'm out walking, like, I don't have to prove a point about not moving. Like, I'll move around anyone at any time. Like, I just. I do not care. I'm not. I don't want the smoke. I'm not. That's not how I flex as you, if you will, but in this moment, man, this guy was just, like, decided. And he was with his friend too, by the way, which I don't know. The other guy didn't say anything. It was the dude that I bumped into or who bumped into me, I guess, who said something. I don't know if he was trying to be cool in front of his friend or if he was. But again, again, for the record, probably like, late 20s, decently dressed. Like, these weren't two guys who, like, I don't know, appeared to be on the margins of anything.

[Andrew Walsh]

I pictured normal dudes, T shirts. I was picturing T shirts.

[Luke Burbank]

Green T shirt. Okay, Green, green T shirt that was monochromatic. Again, I could just tell you everything about this because it's so burned in my brain.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, this is a question I have, because it is burned in your Brain. But also, this is something that. When it must have been so fleeting, because by the time he's swearing at you, you're past him. You're walking in different directions. And you said as these guys are. Did I say walking?

[Luke Burbank]

You said walking in different directions. And let me just. The throw up speaks for itself. Andrew. I was running.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the show title. They're walking, you're running.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

But either way, like, so you hear this invective, and you turn your head over your shoulder, and so you take it in, but you don't ever. Well, maybe you're getting to it and maybe I'm ruining your story. But you don't stop and turn around. And, Sarah. So you're kind of taking this on because you mentioned before that you're not even.

[Luke Burbank]

I stop and turn around.

[Andrew Walsh]

You do? Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. All right. But I don't say anything. I didn't say anything.

[Andrew Walsh]

And how. She'll just take us there. How long are you stopped?

[Luke Burbank]

Probably a second. Because again, in. In this one second. So I'm. I'm running. We bump into each other. He says the thing. He says, I probably take, like, three more steps as I'm sort of processing or grasping it. Then I stop and I turn around. And he's not looking back at me

[Andrew Walsh]

either, by the way. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Which, by the way, sign of weakness. That's how I knew I could have. That's how I knew I could have taken him. Because if he wanted the smoke, he would have turned around.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what I'm picturing. I'm picturing him spinning around and being like.

[Luke Burbank]

No, that's why. That's why I knew that. That's why I knew that I would have won the fight, because he was trying to be tough and maybe trying to impress his friend and whatever, but he didn't really want it, because if he did, he would have turned around. He would have seen me turn around, and now we would have gone towards each other. I stopped. I turned around. He's still walking, not turning his head back.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you could at this point, yell, what'd you say? Or something along those lines.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was a nanosecond from doing that, except all I could see were multiple colleagues of Becca's that were behind me, running towards me, if that makes sense, in other words.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, of course.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just. It's a. It's a sea of people that would be weirded out if their colleague's boyfriend went and fought a guy on the fun run.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And that was What? And I'm grateful.

[Andrew Walsh]

You see a flash of Coach Ben green stirrup socks, you're like, not today, Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

I think coach Ben would have appreciated. Although he would have then naked me later somehow, because that's kind of our dynamic. But. But yes, that was what. Let me just put it this way. If I would have been. My. My sense is if this would have been a different scenario. In other words, if it wouldn't have been a fun run with a bunch of people that know my girlfriend, and that happened, if I was just out for a jog and that had happened, I think it would have gone differently. And again, I'm talking a big game. I don't know if I would have won the fight, but I think there would have been an. And there would have at least been a verbal altercation, because I stopped. I turned around, and I was literally about to say, what? And again, I played the tape, as they say in recovery. I played the tape in that moment, and I was like, I'm gonna say what? He's gonna turn around now. I'm gonna have to go fight him now. People are gonna be watching me fight this guy during a charity fight. Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm just picturing it.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not gonna be good.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know why I'm picturing it, like, in the art style of a blond. It's just like this whirling dervish. It's just like a cloud of dust with, like, one of your hands sticking out at one place.

[Luke Burbank]

It's kind of how fighting feels. Honestly, it's sort of a blur. Yeah, it's very Batman y. It's very punch, you know? Yeah. Things just kind of kicking out of the cartoon cloud of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of.

[Luke Burbank]

Of the experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

But good thing there was no alcohol involved, right? That's one of those things. I mean, I know that in a situation like this would be pretty unlikely for alcohol to be involved anyway, but just talking about those kinds of emotions, right? Like, if that had happened, this run. I mean, almost everything being the same, maybe the same people or type of people around you or whatever, but the event was something at the beer garden or something. I know you're not a big beer guy, but you know what I mean? Like, and then. And then you just have a little bit. So you're already on the. You're already on the line in this. Just imagine just having a little bit of that liquid in you.

[Luke Burbank]

A pipette of alcohol puts it into the. Into the petri dish, draws it out, places it upon my tongue, and we Have a full on fight.

[Andrew Walsh]

You use the mouthwash for just one second longer in the morning, I leave

[Luke Burbank]

it in for just a second too long. And me and this guy are fully at Okie Dokes.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's something about calling it Okie Dokes that really takes the sting out of an inappropriate fight at a work event on a Thursday.

[Luke Burbank]

It makes it feel less felonious. It really does, Officer. We were having Okie Dokes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's why Genevieve and I. To take this to a very inappropriate place. I know I've told this on the show before, but. And it's less funny now than it was in the very early 2000s when we were talking about it, because I think there's a lot more serious conversation about this kind of stuff. But we are amazed by the kind of. Let's just call them sex crimes that have cutesy names. Oh, yeah. Like, you're just kind of like, oh, he flashed at me like back in the 70s. Oh, just a flash. That's assault, right? To do that to somebody. But you just call it a flash. Oh, he flashed me. And streaking is kind of similar too. It's like really taking the sting out of the actual assault there.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. He was streaking, so I had to throw up. Okie Dokes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you know, and this is the second part of this conversation, Genevieve and I had this observation again back in 2001 when we were first dating. And then what we did is I think the reason it came up was because we're at a party and somebody was talking about a friend of theirs who got in trouble because he was having some alone times. Some special. I guess it's just daddy alone times when it's alone times. And he was in a car when he was doing it.

[Luke Burbank]

And so he's not fathering anyone with this particular version of the event.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, that's true. But he did get caught and he got in trouble for it. And what he was doing was not aimed at anybody. He was just. I've never had that urge myself while in a motor vehicle by myself, but apparently this person didn't. I think there might have been some complications about it. Might have been within a zone. That makes it even more punitive. Although, again, I would like to tell you that we weren't joking around about somebody who was actually doing something awful around children or other people. Sure, sure. And because of that, Genevieve and I said, you know, if they just had a cute name for it, like honking it instead of like streaking or flashing. Well, your honor, my Client was merely honking it. A secluded area and it's kind of like, oh yeah, if you give it a name like that, Okie dokes. It's not something. Have you ever.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you ever in your mind had a hypothetical conversation trying to explain how you weren't being a creep based on whatever? Like, for instance, sometimes I'm in the hotel room and I'm, you know, as I arrive at the age of 50, Andrew, a lot of things are changing. My body is changing, my mentality is changing, my appetite for getting into fights is changing. And I'm also starting to close the curtains at the hotel because I used to always leave the curtains open because I was like, I want the sun to wake me up. I like the sun waking me up. But then I realized I'm getting lousy sleep from 5:30 to 7am because it's too bright in here. So I started pulling the curtains closed and realizing like, oh man, it's really nice in here without the sunlight at 5:30 or whatever. But sometimes, you know, I'll be in the hotel room and I'll be walking around without my clothes on or something, or I'll be going from the shower to whatever. And, and depending on the hotel or whatever, you know, sometimes there's other, like depending on how the building is shaped, there's other rooms or whatever. And for some reason, occasionally I'll just be like, what if. What if somebody thought. Or what if somebody accused me of. Of being like. What's the term? Intentionally nude? Gratifying. Gratifyingly nude in this room, around other people. And then I think, how would I explain that? I'd be like, no, I was going from the shower to where my suitcases, where my stuff is, and would the cops believe me? And how do I. I will practice this conversation sometimes, maybe not out loud, but in my mind of being like, no, no, officer. I was simply walking from the bathroom to where my suitcase is. There was no intent. And I thought, well, that's what everybody says.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Probably.

[Andrew Walsh]

Who sat down?

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody who's honking it is saying that

[Andrew Walsh]

I sat down in the sex swing for a moment to put my garters

[Luke Burbank]

on that I brought to put on

[Andrew Walsh]

my stirrup socks because it's comfortable. Oh, who's that?

[Luke Burbank]

That's Coach Ben.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to say, Luke, you said that you used to like the sun waking you up. I like to think now you let the Holy Spirit wake you up. Happy birthday, brother.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you. Appreciate that. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle Dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle Dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get, get set now. Ready, ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattle dazzle. Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough which is keeping TBTL in business. We are putting together some of the details for the. The upcoming thon and a. It's going to be super fun. I'm actually really excited about this thon and I'm really excited about the. Some of the thank you gifts that we're going to be sending out to folks and all of that. But man, oh, man, are we grateful for our dazzling donors and all of our donors and supporters because that's the only thing, the only way this thing works. It's 100% listener supported podcasting thanks to our friend Michelle, aka Mickshell McNelly in Edina, Minnesota.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. Nice pronouncement.

[Luke Burbank]

Michelle says, thanks, biz boys, for another year, another year of podcarding. Tens are the best. And my message is this. Please continue to support your neighbors and be both brave and safe. After you support your tbtl. Thank you, Michelle. After you eat your tbtl, look for ways to support your local food bank, mutual aid groups, or those giving legal support to immigrant communities. I'm going to say something kind of extreme here on my birthday, Andrew. Those things might even be more important than tbtl. It's possible that food banks and beep, beep. You're like, you'd like to keep paying your mortgage.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, absolutely. Of course, of course. Look at Andrew backing away from that hot take. No, of course, of course.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no. Michelle is encouraging folks to support the local food banks, the mutual aid groups, those giving legal support to immigrant communities. Just because it is calmer does not mean the fight is over. That's a really good point.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm going to go. I'm going to talk about a conversation that we had offline yesterday, Andrew. I'm going to talk about it online, which is, you know, we have a lot of listeners, particularly in the Twin Cities and in the state of Minnesota. And when we sent out these, you know, the form for dazzling donors, I. My sense is it had to. It was. It was at a time when there was a particular amount of. Of, you know, threat from ice. I was gonna call it unrest, but I don't like that term because that makes it sound like people were acting up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, like there was unrest. No, no fucking ice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. The block was killing people. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Killing people in Minnesota, you know, so, you know, but but. And so that's been on the minds of a lot of the. Of the people who have written these dazzling donor messages. And. And we were not. You and I were kind of noting that, like, oh, there's a kind of a timestamp, I guess, on. On a lot of these messages because of when people wrote them. But Michelle's making a really good point, which is that just because things calm down doesn't mean the fight is over. Or, I mean, you know, people don't still need help, you know, and you're out every Sunday helping people. And this is just a good reminder that just because it's not in the news or just because it's not actively, maybe in the same way actively happening in terms of, you know, Greg Bevino doing Nazi cosplay in the streets of St. Paul, it doesn't mean that. That we should stop thinking about our friends and neighbors and people who need this kind of help. So good reminder.

[Andrew Walsh]

Michelle, was that actually that you shoulder tapped? Now that I'm thinking about it.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean shoulder tapped? Got a beer from.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, no, not shoulder tapped, but, like, checked shoulders with yesterday.

[Luke Burbank]

Dude, give me. Give me five minutes in a room with Pavino. I don't care how many of Becca's colleagues are troubled by.

[Andrew Walsh]

You'll sell tickets.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, like, okay, I. Like, just give me five minutes. Michelle says tens. If you want to stand up for Minnesota after our winter of discontent, please come here and visit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hell, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, honestly, everybody wins, right? The. The Twin Cities in the state of Minnesota get some tourism dollars. And this is just me talking, by the way. And also you get to go to Minnesota State Flitter. Beautiful, wonderful place. Every time you mention the state fair, I bring this back up. Do you think we could get Eric the Viking to prevail upon someone at APM to let us do another show from the state fair and also not have those same headphone microphones you think

[Andrew Walsh]

from the APM stage.

[Luke Burbank]

You from the APM stage.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. I feel like the window might be closed.

[Luke Burbank]

Brandy on.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I've said some things this week on the show. I believe I described that shop now as a bunch of middle managers bumping into each other. So I don't know if any of those middle managers are interested.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe I described. Oh, you know what? I never even finished. I never even finished my crazy review of the Sam Rockwell film. The point of that yesterday was nowadays if you go to the basement of apm, it's just that kid sitting on.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was the point that's where I

[Luke Burbank]

was going with that yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. Oh, by the way, we got a note from List. I want to say his name was Sam. I can't remember his last name. No, we got. I want to say from listener Brian or something who said the title of that movie is sort of a reference to something gamers say when they start their games.

[Luke Burbank]

Just so you know, they should have called it Leroy Jenkins. God damn it, Leroy.

[Andrew Walsh]

They should have called it God Damn it, Leroy.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't care that that's a spoof. I love it anyway. God damn it, Leroy. Tens.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you want to stand up for

[Luke Burbank]

Minnesota after our winter of discontent, please come here and visit. The Twin Cities are fun and safe. The Twin ports are a delight. And Stu's newsletter, Midwest Excellence, can let you know if a county has a Pizza Ranch. Have we been to a Pizza Ranch?

[Andrew Walsh]

I've never been to a Pizza Ranch. Every time he talks about a Pizza Ranch, I'm like, I need to go to a Pizza Ranch.

[Luke Burbank]

I wondered if that made its way to Ohio. It did not.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. I never heard about it until Stu's newsletter.

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, I'll take a heggies in a pinch. By the way, do you remember. Do you remember me drunkenly eating the cheese off of a heggies?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

After we did the show at the Legion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think you called it the Flayed Man.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. I was remembering. I was trying to remember what just

[Luke Burbank]

looked real Ramsay Bolton energy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Goodness gracious.

[Luke Burbank]

And now my simple request. This is from Michelle. Again, more pet talk, please, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

How many of Lucy's siblings are currently attending a gift?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. I said this to you off air. I was saving. I was hiding Lucy's light under a bush. But we were already in touch with one of the people who adopted Lucy's sister. But it was a literary.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't wanna put you on the spot, but what did they. The dog. Oh, Gidget.

[Andrew Walsh]

Gidget. Gidget. Yeah. So we had Lucy and Gidget. We saw Gidget last night at Puppy kindergarten. Again, it was a total coincidence. We were walking into this AHIMSA class, which I was telling you off air, literally must be ahimsa. Must just have a lock on Seattle dog training, because literally everybody goes there.

[Luke Burbank]

It's big. Ahimsa.

[Andrew Walsh]

Ahimsa. And anyway, so that was cool. We got to see Gidget and her mom. Do we say Mom? Steph Again? Yesterday. But then we also received an email from the woman that we all adopted from, connecting us with another Person who adopted one of Lucy's sisters. This was the dog that was known as Clara, whom we almost brought home, but we ended up picking Lucy instead.

[Luke Burbank]

And these two dogs, sliding doors, jingle all the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Her name is now Daisy. Nobody stuck with the original name.

[Luke Burbank]

Cute Lucy, Gidget and Daisy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Daisy. And so now we're all in touch. And Daisy for me, Clara looks nice, exactly like Lucy. Like same size even it looks in the photos. It looks like same size. Her. Gidget is a tiny little dog who has. This is what I learned. Okay, now I guess I was about to apologize for the dog talk, but I guess we're serving our dazzling donor.

[Luke Burbank]

Serving our P1 Michelle.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is so funny. We're at dog were at Puppy kindergarten yesterday and Lucy is now just towering over all these little puppies, including her sister Gidget, who's small. But when Lucy like Lucy's voice is so high pitched, she's like she. Whenever she barks, she's not a big barker, but when she does, she kind of starts with. We call it the tea kettle. She starts with, you know, like that kind of whining, really high pitched bark. And then we're hanging out and then Gidget next door to us and like kind of the kennel next door to us as we're watching, the instructor starts barking at something just a little bit. She's well behaved, but it's this low, rumbly bark that sounds like it's coming from a much bigger, way more aggressive dog. I couldn't believe it. It was almost like a cartoon seeing this little dog with this deep, deep

[Luke Burbank]

voice being named Gidget.

[Andrew Walsh]

Named Gidget. Exactly. Yeah, we're having fun over here. Here.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see. Michelle wraps things up by saying, biz boys, please send a save the date out once you've decided on the five.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Thousandth. What you just heard in my voice, Andrew, was me remembering that we're approaching the. I literally did a double check of my show sheet.

[Andrew Walsh]

I literally am doing that as we speak. I'm like, okay, 40.

[Luke Burbank]

I think she's wrong. I think, I think we're coming up on 4,000. I looked over and I see the number 4,723 and I'm realizing, Dag, we are coming up on 5,000. Michelle, you will be one of the first people to know, okay? I can promise you that because we appreciate you. You're the absolute best. And yeah, we want, you know, we want as many folks to be able to come out to the five. There is going to be a thing for the 5,000. We have not locked in on it. I don't think we even really have any kind of plan yet. But there is going to be a thing, I promise you, and you will know about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

And we must be about a year ish out. Right. I know that John has told us before. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Many times. I've forgotten it.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I think it's gonna be like mid next summer. Right. Because, you know, about 300 and some episodes to go.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. 200, like 70 or 277, I think is the math. If we're at 723 right now. Okay, yeah, I think 277 shows. So that's kind of like. That's a bit over a year because we obviously don't do the show on the. On the weekends. But yeah, yeah, it's coming up soon. Here's the funny part. Michelle says I don't need to know where, just when. And I guess what she means by that is because I feel like. But. But also Michelle. And again, I don't want to put the work on you because you've been so kind to us in so many ways, but that is a knowable thing. You might know better than we do when.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but we don't. We don't know if it's gonna be the actual day of. If it's gonna be a weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

It has to be. Don't you think? Well, we've done that thing before where we didn't we speed up.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think we did two shows in

[Luke Burbank]

one day, one time for the vaniverse.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Actually, I think it might something.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember us doing something where we had to kind of fudge the numbers. Okay, Michelle, fine, Good point. Sometimes we. Sometimes we do get kind of creative with the math on this, but we will definitely let you know because we would love to see you and your lovely husband there. Michelle says no mountain too tall. Signed, Mitchell. Well, thank you so much, Michelle. We really do appreciate it. You have been absolutely instrumental in keeping this show going. So thanks very much, maestro.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go. Everybody rattle dazzle.

[Luke Burbank]

Look who it is. It's our dear friend Lisa Moylen. Pronounced Nicole Kidman.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, all right.

[Luke Burbank]

Somehow hot break feels good in a place like this. Can't stop, won't stop.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think the p. I think the printers got everybody a little bit too excited.

[Luke Burbank]

Luke, Nicole Kidman must have come. Must have come early to bring us this. Lisa is in Olympia, Washington. Lisa says, thanks, Luke and Andrew and John for another year of the best podcast on the market.

[Andrew Walsh]

It.

[Luke Burbank]

Ah, that's really saying something because there's a lot of them out there right now. Thank you for creating the network of TENS who are such a special community. It's pretty great knowing that if I need advice or a shoulder to cry on or a laugh or someone to meet up with and be awkward, the TENS will show up always. Hey, more on that in a minute. By the way, we're going to do a community calendar where we've, I believe, got a TENS meetup event that we want to mention to folks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Couple of them. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks for getting me out of a couple of jams, friends. Here are some honorable mentions for awesomeness in no order.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I deleted it. How could I even do it? How could I do it?

[Andrew Walsh]

If I look at your lion face.

[Luke Burbank]

Wu Tang Clan, we rule the world. By which I think Lisa means.

[Andrew Walsh]

The drop that you promised me over 10 years. No. Yeah. And I. 2015.

[Luke Burbank]

I really. I really did think that I deleted it. That wasn't. I wasn't just messing with you. That was because what the Wu Tang Clan did some song that had Cher on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I can tell you. I can tell you. I can clean some of this up for you. Okay. This is actually. That little clip you played was one of the only clips, one of like, maybe three or four clips that was released from the special Wu Tang Clan album that they made that they were only going to release to one particular.

[Luke Burbank]

That on the Shkreli album.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. That Martin Shkreli ended up buying. And now that's on that. That's what that is from is it

[Luke Burbank]

was like one of zero editions.

[Andrew Walsh]

And they were like. And they were like, exactly like, you know, Cher has a. Has a, you know, cameo, whatever. A cameo. And. And that's it. And you were playing it. And this is. I know this was around. We could look up when that story was big, but I'm was 2015 because I was in Los Angeles at the time. And you were playing it over and over. And it just irritates me so much and terrible because it's just so terrible and that, like, we. They rule the world. There's just something about, like, that kind of talk. Like, I just will never get over, like, working in a workplace in the early 2000s, when people would send out encouraging emails that said, you rock or whatever. Like, it just like somehow that cringe got in me and I can't shake it. Like when you.

[Luke Burbank]

And there's something about Share being the person.

[Andrew Walsh]

And again, I'm pro Cher.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not anti Cher at all. But, like, just there's something about bringing in a person who is not at the absolute tip of the spear of cultural relevance to say, like a white woman of a certain age saying, Wu Tang, baby. They rock the world on a Wu Tang record.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I could see bringing Sharon and it being really cool. It's just that goddamn line, they rock the world.

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, something called Wu Tang Bo Boost. Let's see if this. Does this sound louder? Yeah, but let's see if it even is louder. I'm gonna play this. Oh, yeah, it is louder. All right. Noted, noted.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you saved the quieter one, just in case I ever need to play it at half level.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew. The thing is, I saved the quiet part.

[Andrew Walsh]

Loud. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Number two from Lisa's list. My five. My five. Honestly thought that the Sea Yucks song was, quote, really popular the last time we were in the Super Bowl. No, you just heard it in your mom's car.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

K Dude and Little Hoagie.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do we have that? Oh, here, I got that.

[Luke Burbank]

Here, you got that?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm just saying.

[Luke Burbank]

Think of it as a remix.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I am, bro.

[Luke Burbank]

Cher. Cher spit bars on K dude and Little Hoagies track.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think about these kids all the time. They were so young. And this was what you rock when

[Luke Burbank]

you roll with the Seahawks. Marshawn lynch, beast Mo, with his dreadlocks, rolls and passes the ball to the end zone. We don't say dreadlocks anymore, but we're not gonna hold that against them. People can grow 14.

[Andrew Walsh]

We get the ring the bling.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen to the crowd sing Sea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait till you hear what they call the main bathroom.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, I found a picture of me today I didn't find again. I told you, I'm getting a lot of texts from people that I don't maybe hear from all the time, which is very sweet and awesome, but one of them was a person who I haven't texted with since we were at a Seahawks game, and there's a picture of me and Marshawn Lynch's mom on the sidelines.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my gosh.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm wearing a Seahawks sweater. I'll send you this picture.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, what was the context for this? I don't. Because it sort of rings a bell. You were on the sidelines with Marshawn Lynch's mom.

[Luke Burbank]

It was actually. I think you brought this up because I think it might have been the game that I invited Lindy to when we had sidelines. Oh, yeah. We were all over the place because again, it was like. It was like Alaska Airlines.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Oh, I thought you were just up in the suite. I don't think I realized you made it down to field level.

[Luke Burbank]

We started at the sidelines, which is not as. I mean, I guess it's kind of cool. By the way, man, were you right about how bald Gaylord Perry was?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, I'm seeing that.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, like.

[Andrew Walsh]

And again, I'm not making fun, like, you know.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. But like, he is not a little. Yeah, right. No, no shade on anybody who's bald. But he is not a little bit bald, like, because I had said Gaylord Perry, he looked. It just feels like pro athletes, particular baseball, particularly baseball players, just looked a lot older when I was a kid. And some of that's because I was a kid. And I mentioned yesterday, Gaylord Perry seemed like he was 70. And then you were like, oh, yeah, yeah. No, definitely looks like, you know, like a gym teacher who's getting close to retiring.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was pretty funny because I was watching that video of his 300th win or something, and it was like. I think it was just the end of the game video that I found that I took that picture from. That's yesterday's show pick. But anyway, he's just wearing his baseball cap and it was just sort of shocking that he takes off the baseball cap. You just do not see that hairline in baseball these days.

[Luke Burbank]

Days. Yeah, I guess. You know, I mean, probably Mitch Garver would be relatively close, but he's keeping it high and tight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. In fact, I remember because Mitch Garver causes a lot of frustration amongst Mariners fans for his on field performances. However, he had a really great post game interview. This has. I think that. I think this was late last. No, it was early.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't humanize Mitch Garver.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, he humanizes himself. And like, he was so good. He had a good game and then he was giving this. Is that what your friend was doing

[Luke Burbank]

in that car by that elementary school,

[Andrew Walsh]

by the way? Was not my friend. I don't know this person. But I will say that somebody had posted online like, Mitch Garver gives really great interviews after the game. And I said, yeah. And also he's got a hairline. I can really relate to, like, seeing him give this interview and also, like, looking at him being like, okay, you and I are brothers in the bald. Like, I was. I felt like I could. Could hear him on a different level.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, the thing About Mitch Garver is. I know that he is. I know he's more mad at himself. He's more mad at him than I am when he strikes out, but I don't like to think about that because then I can't be mad at him.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Remember when he did that press conference? Like, was like last year where he cried? Or was it two years ago where he was just like, I'm so upset with myself about my. And he was getting struggles at the

[Andrew Walsh]

plate, and he was receiving really, really terrible. I don't know if it was death threat stuff, but he was just those crazy people who send awful, awful things to real human beings who don't do.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, nobody should do field.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Process it on a podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, buddy.

[Luke Burbank]

That's how you do it. That's how you. That's how you handle it. But no, it's like I. I sort of am holding these two ideas of Mitch Garver in my mind, which is like, I know that he's on a human level, like a guy who has feelings and. And. And. And wants to do well. By the way, same for Ref Schneider. Like, Ref Schneider, he didn't cry, but he had a similar press conference, I think after he got his first hit. Was his first hit a home run? I think.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it was. Yes, I think so.

[Luke Burbank]

And there was something where it was, you know, because I had just been dragging him in the text chain, and then it was like he was basically saying. He was saying in this press conference everything I've said about him to you guys in the text chain. I was like, don't you dare rob Ref Schneider. Deprive me of the ability to mistreat you out of your earshot.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, don't.

[Luke Burbank]

By owning it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't make me examine my own words.

[Luke Burbank]

No, don't make me. Don't. Don't cause me to question if I'm overreacting to a sport where you throw a round ball at a round bat at 100 miles an hour and try to hit it. Anyway, back to Lisa's list. Number three, the McGruff the Crime Dog cassette episode. I remember a McGruff the Crime Dog tape. Did you, like, digitize that and play a bunch of it? What was the story on that?

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't digitize it, but I'm looking now. But since. Did a listener send it? And I'm actually. I do remember this now, but I'm not finding it. I'm really surprised that TBTL McGruff does not call up anything AI overview takes a stab at it that we're not going. It did identify us. It says based on the context. This appears to be a reference to Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh, who host the daily TBTL podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

Why am I weirdly StarStruck that the AI overview knows about us?

[Andrew Walsh]

But then it says so podcast details. Well, it says TV tells. A popular daily conversational podcast.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll take it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll take it. McGruff connection. The research results suggest a humorous or recurring mention of McGrath the crime dog. See, that's where AI, you don't have to make stuff up. Like you just say, I don't know more than that. But anyway. But I'm not seeing the actual show, so I'm a little bit.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember, I remember this tape though, because I think, you know, it was like I a, you know, take a bite out of crime McGruff the crime dog that we. It was a dog in a trench coat.

[Andrew Walsh]

But was it also anti drug? It was. There was a song.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

There were songs about like not doing crack or something like that. Right? Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think he. It sounds not unlike Joe Bluth's Franklin puppet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, right, right.

[Luke Burbank]

If I remember right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But we'll, we'll. Someday we'll figure it. I remember that being a fun episode, though. I can't tell you anything about it it other than I remember it being fun.

[Andrew Walsh]

But how did I not put the word McGruff in the show title or in the description?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I'm not putting that on you because, you know, we, we don't like to go with the obvious and probably we said something. By the way, sorry, there's a UPS truck that's backing up into my driveway bringing me God knows what. I don't think I've ordered anything. I've. I was talking to you about this offer, actually. It's a FedEx truck. I was talking about this off air the other day, which is that like, because of the vagaries of the shipping world that we live in. It's like sometimes I'll order like they'll send me a book, like a review copy of a book from a publisher because I'm going to interview somebody, but it'll just so happen to be delivered by way of FedEx. So it comes in the truck along. Like it also could have been a new dishwasher.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

So they, they don't know. So they back this big like cargo truck or car, like transit van kind of thing down the driveway. And I'm just Seeing I'm trying to get.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like the idea of them getting, like a. Like a forklift out there, and they just pull one little envelope off the back.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. They get on the Tommy lift the Tommy gate, they lower, and then it's like a book of poetry by Camille Dungey. Anyway, that's what they're doing outside. Sorry about the noise. Number four on Lisa's list. Cat Rolling. Hey, come on, now. It's been a minute. Someone should name a show that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Wow, this takes me back.

[Luke Burbank]

I kind of miss this a little bit. I mean, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna start doing this to you a lot, but, like, kind of

[Andrew Walsh]

like this song, you know, it makes me think back to the times that we were doing all those. They kind of like. Well, obviously unofficial, but even unofficial for us. Game of Thrones recaps. I got a new note from a listener recently.

[Luke Burbank]

Song of Ice and Spoilers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Which is a great name that I think a listener came up with. And I got a note from a listener recently saying, hey, I'm finally getting into Game of Thrones, like, reading the books, and I think maybe just starting to watch the TV show a little bit, but wasn't sure about the TV show, but wanted to go back and listen to our recaps. And so I was trying to help her, like, sort of find them, but it was a little bit difficult. Eleven. Eleven. You got it?

[Luke Burbank]

It wasn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, nailed it. Nailed it. Nice. Got it. But the thing is, for the longest time, it wasn't a. Like, it wasn't a podcast that had its own file.

[Luke Burbank]

I assumed it was, like, McMillan men, that you had spun it off into a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Eventually, we got 8pm to do that, but originally it was like our sports segment, which was at the end of the show. We would just end the show, say, good luck to all, and then the Game of Thrones music would start playing. And then. Or did we use the cat music to introduce it? I don't even really know.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't think.

[Andrew Walsh]

We don't think so. That would. Anyway. And then. And then eventually we started doing them as their own little podcast. And I don't know. I don't think we ever put it in its own feed, but you could at least find it in our feed. Like. But if you want to find all of our recaps, you just have to, like, search Game of No, you have to, I think, search the word spoilers and just look for all of the episodes that have it in the description.

[Luke Burbank]

Search McGruff Spoilers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Number five on the list. I guess we're going one to eight. Number five on the list. Shame eating. I haven't called it. I haven't called in, but I think about it every time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sitting in your car eating secret McDonald's. We used to take calls on that all the time. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Actually, you know, let's bring that back again. You know, shame eating. Slightly fraught term, but I think, you know, if people. People want to use it, I don't have any problem with it. And also if people want to call in when they're eating something in their car, I'm very pro that just because I love the sense of time and place and all of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Call it whatever you want. And for me, I said this on the show the other day because we did get somebody who was talking about how she was, in her words, shame eating because she got a couple of. She got the double fish filet sandwich because she had been fasting for blood work or whatever. I love that stuff. And again, you don't have to feel shame about it, but also, don't take away my right to call my eating shameful.

[Luke Burbank]

That also had me thinking.

[Andrew Walsh]

I put in the work.

[Luke Burbank]

You come by this honestly? Number six on Lisa's list, Cooking with Shondori.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I am so glad that I didn't somehow lose this. You know what I mean? Like, because so many of the audio cues and drops from the early days of TBTL are lost to history because I just didn't do good file management. Because this. There's no way I could find this again. Can you imagine trying to find this song in the wild?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the. Well, you'd never find it in the wild. But the good news is I think.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, is it on marsupial or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

It might be, but also I think we needed it for a live show one time, so I think I might. You have it? If I have it, then it's safe. Well, do you know that I'm actually sweating it out a little bit here because this is a rarity for me, but I forgot to get backup recordings of today's show rolling until about 12 minutes into the show. And I haven't saved anything yet, so if my computer crashes or something right now, we will miss all of the Derek Wong elevator talk.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no, we'll have to re record. We can redo it.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not gonna play it, but there is a file. I'm literally not going to play this. There's something called Cooking with Sean. Do not Play.

[Andrew Walsh]

It might just be a technical thing, though, right?

[Luke Burbank]

And it's. Here's. This would make you so insane. It's okay. Cooking with. And then Sean is spelled capital S, capital E, lowercase. A lowercase. And do not play all caps like this was written from a basement in a hostage situation.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was looking up to see. I just searched Sean in my audio,

[Luke Burbank]

but it looks like the artist is Jennifer Andrews.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, so in other words, I would

[Luke Burbank]

not have put that in. I'm wondering. This must have been.

[Andrew Walsh]

Somebody grabbed it off of her computer and it automatically.

[Luke Burbank]

Somehow. Yeah, somehow that kind of like titling was ported over. Do I dare play it? And if it's something that's, like, truly bad, we'll just cut it out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah. I don't think you're placement.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's probably just. Yes, it's quiet. Yeah, that's what I expect.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm just always in a hurry to get to this music because it is really largely why we do the segment. I realized I said this the other day about, I think, the Entertainment Tonight segment. Most of the segments on the show are because we like the audio accompaniment. The actual segment is sort of an afterthought. Actually, that's not the case with this one. This is a very. This is a very elaborate, very involved cooking with Shondotte. Can you guys explain exactly what. All I know is the dog is here and we're eating dog food. What's the plan?

[Shondori]

Why is that confusing? Well, it was actually a few months ago that I was talking about how I was having a lot of trouble finding good dog food for Mr. Knightley because it seemed like every. Either it gave him constipation or it may be.

[Luke Burbank]

See, now you get it, Andrew. Before you were like, whatever. Now you're like, oh, oh, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

I always hearing the name Mr. Knightley. Just a lot of memory.

[Shondori]

It meant that he woke us up, like, three times during the night because he had emergency potty times. So I was trying to find something. And so a listener, Betsy, told me that making her own dog food had, like, solved all of her dog's problems. That had totally fixed his digestion. And it totally made him be able to, like, run up and down stairs when he wasn't able to do that before. It made him super. So I thought we would give it a shot. And when I saw the recipe, there weren't any. There wasn't anything in it that people can't eat.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. It's a very, very simple recipe. Yeah. What's in this, Shawnee? Well, what's in it is what's not in it. I don't know what that even means. I almost just made that joke in real time. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's that kind of consistency that brings people clamoring back to tbt.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what brings people crawling back to tbt. Literally, when I was like, what's in it? I almost said, what's not in it? God.

[Andrew Walsh]

Reacting to the tape in real time. Almost said that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. No, in my mind, I was making the joke of what's not in it. And then 12, 14 years ago, no, probably 15 years ago, I made the same joke. I don't know why that says do not play. I'm assuming there's something later that.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, you know. No, no. Let me give you some clearance. First of all, you're on the radio. It probably says do not play because. Because you didn't want to be grabbing the music on the fly and accidentally have. Grab that and realize, oh, I'm playing an actual old segment as opposed to the theme music.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Or I admitted to a crime.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or you admitted to a crime. I want to play something off my computer before we move on here, because I was searching for the word Sean. So I do have Cooking with Sean music. I have the special TV tale theme song that Sean and Celine created for us for, I think, our 3,000th episode or something. Oh, yeah, I have some. It looks like I have Sean here. I think this was taken From Cairo Radio, ESPN 710. Sean doing a little ad for bobbleheads. I want to say he can hit, run and field.

[Luke Burbank]

And now he bobbles.

[Andrew Walsh]

And now he bobbles. But I also have this. This is not Shonda Tori related, but I'm curious about it. It's apparently from npr and I have no recollection of having this or grabbing it. And it says collection of bad ideas. Sean, send Kerr Nicholson from npr. And it's only a second long, so I'm assuming it's just a drop. It's an amazing collection of bad ideas. Is that something that you think you grabbed? I don't know why. I have an amazing collection of bad

[Luke Burbank]

ideas, but could you send it to me? Because I will definitely use it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Continuing on with Lisa's list, cooking with Sean. We mentioned that all the meetups. That's number seven, a thing that Lisa loves about TBTL. And then number eight, with a bullet. Getting connected with so many cool 10 businesses. Tens helping tens.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love it.

[Luke Burbank]

Lisa says, love you guys. Cheers to 10 more years. I think we could do 10 more years. I wonder. I mean, sometimes somebody said the other day, like, here's to the next 4,000 episodes. I don't know if we got 4,000 episodes in us, but I think we got 10 years. Years.

[Andrew Walsh]

10 years, yeah. That would put me. You'd be 60. Yeah. That'd be interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. I'll be exactly 60.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Lisa, thank you so much for your support. We. We couldn't make TBTL without you, and that's true.

[Andrew Walsh]

And now it's time for the TBTL community calendar.

[Luke Burbank]

Like water in the desert. This music,

[Andrew Walsh]

As you mentioned, Luke, this

[Luke Burbank]

is the only music that I refurbish my vintage cars to.

[Andrew Walsh]

If it doesn't have a clarinet, I don't want it. Couple of listeners wrote in, actually, a few weeks ago to talk about various events that they're setting up that they're hoping more TBTL listeners in their area might join them for. I got this from Jamie in Minnesota, who says we're having a TBTL patio meetup on May 16th at 3pm so the 16th, I believe that's next Saturday. I want to double check that. Yeah, that's Saturday. That's a. That's a week from almost now. Yeah, a week from tomorrow. May 16, 3pm I like the idea of calling tomorrow.

[Luke Burbank]

Almost now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know, man.

[Luke Burbank]

I've got appointments almost now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Almost like a week from almost now. May. May 16th at 3:00pm at Brixworth Beer Company? That's in Burnsville, Minnesota. So if you're in that area, Burnsville, Minnesota. Bricks Works Beer Company tens can find the details on the Slack page under hashtag Minnesotans. And also, if you're not on slack, you could probably email me andrewbtail.net and I can probably hook you up with Jamie. Also, licorice stick. Kathy says so good.

[Luke Burbank]

Wild Man Blues.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is anyone interested in joining Christine and Kathy from the TBTL book Club for a Mariners game on Sunday, July 5? So we have plenty.

[Luke Burbank]

I know who would love to sign up for that and not go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Who?

[Luke Burbank]

Mother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, did she do that? Nothing like suit. She did that to you for throwing out a first pitch or something?

[Luke Burbank]

No, the. The newsletter or the book club.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the book club. Right, right, right.

[Luke Burbank]

She wanted to be in the book club. And then she was like, I can't sign up. And they were like, they sent the receipts. They're like, we asked you 74 times, one for each year of your life to be in the book club.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nothing like soup we sent you.

[Luke Burbank]

My mom just sent me some amazing stuff already.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, for birthday stuff?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

She sent you some birthday soup.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, have you heard that there's nothing like soup? Let me see if I can find this. Really good. Keep talking. I'm sorry.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Yeah. Let me. Let me get this information out there and then we can. Then we can talk about your mom some more. Kathy says. So they are going to be getting together at this Mariners game Sunday. It says the Mariners are playing the Blue Jays and tickets are selling fast, so I hope I didn't sit on this information too long. There's a post on Slack using the hashtag pack Northwest Tens and Facebook TBTL Seattle 10. So if you're on Facebook, look for the TBTL Seattle 10s. That's different than the Stens page with our seat numbers. It's section three. 23. So if you want to look that up, buy yourself some tickets for Section 323. That is where Kathy and Christine are going to be watching the Mariner play the Blue jays on Sunday, July 5, which is like, basically just a couple of months from tomorrow. There's a post there on Slack. You can email me if you have any questions. Here's Kathy's email address. I'm gonna give this out. It's Kathy with a K, O, L Y. So it's like Kathy Oli K A T H Y, O, L Y at G O.

[Luke Burbank]

Like Olympia, probably.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking as well.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, there you go. Or email me andrewbtl.net, and I'll hook you guys up. There you go. Well, thanks, guys. Thanks for arranging these things. For real. As we just heard, it really does mean a lot to the listeners. In fact, we're just reading Lisa's dazzling donor messages. I remember meeting Lisa at one of these baseball events that we did at a Mariners game. So, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It's often mentioned in the dazzling donor messages that people really appreciate the tens community and. And I would like us to. I would like to be able to take a bunch of credit for that, but really, that is just something, you know, I think Jen gets a ton of credit for the early days of it. And then it's just become this kind of like, sort of naturally organically occurring thing, which is just the tens being awesome to each other and being friends and helping each other out and supporting each other's businesses and all of that. And it just. It's this whole own kind of thing that has existed sort of, I don't want to say outside of us because again, we're the, like, the little straw that I guess is allegedly stirring the drink. But it's just an amazing thing. And so thanks to everybody who participates in these things because it's what makes people like tbtl. It ain't me reading texts from my mom, although I am going to do that really quickly.

[Andrew Walsh]

People love that.

[Luke Burbank]

It's actually kind of that a little bit. But this was, this actually wasn't on today on my birthday. This was just the other day my mom's said, hi love. I'm listening to TBTL for a change of pace from what? The interesting part of your life. What does that mean? I always get a super saver flight and as a result I get a middle seat. But I say that I have claustrophobia and they accommodate me every time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh wow. I do think that one time I did tell somebody I was like, I get really uncomfortable in the middle seat in a way that they had pity on me and gave me a better seat seat.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just funny because like, first of all, I think I'm listening to TBTL for a change of pace is a weird way to get into the conversation. But then also like, I don't know if I don't know where claustrophobia falls on this sort of like, what's the term for, you know, sort of like not protected sort of disabilities. But like, I don't know if I don't think that probably legally that's a thing that means they have to accommodate you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not legally, but also they might also wanna.

[Luke Burbank]

Who wants, who wants a 70 whatever year old lady sitting there like mad at them because she says she's like, basically my mom said that she's done this life hack. I'm like, they just don't want to deal with you so they're giving you a better seat. Which you know, again is not. Not something I've done in my life at various points around a lot of different kind of experiences where I'm just like being a lot. And then they're like, okay, what do you need? You want to lay check out? Fine, Just will you please walk away from the front desk of this hotel now?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

But I love that she's like, I just. I claim to have claustrophobia and they accommodate me every time. Nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh man, it's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, we didn't get to Blue Dot fever, but I can sum it up in two sentences. One sentence. Book smaller venues. The Blue Dot fever is the name for these Big mega tours that are going out like Meghan Trainor and Post Malone and Jelly Roll and the Pussycat Dolls and Zayn Malik and all these big like stadium tours that aren't selling very many tickets, so they're forced to cancel the tour. And you can see all of the unsold seats in the arena. Those are blue dots. That's why it's called Blue Dot Fever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it took me a while to figure out why it's called Blue Dot Fever. But yeah, when you're booking your tickets, you can see what seats are available and which aren't.

[Luke Burbank]

Which it just like, I don't understand. I mean, I guess it's the economics of it. Like, I don't know, there's more money to be made theoretically. But this, that is my. Even if TBTL were a stadium level event for people, which it would never be if we got literally every listener to the show together, could we fill us? Like, I mean, I don't know. We probably. Well, 50,000 people have heard the show at one point or another. If we could get everyone who's ever heard the show together, it would fill a stadium. But even if this was a stadium level event, you know me, Andrew, I'd be like, we're booking it in 400 seat theaters.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but here's the deal. I want to disagree with you on this. And you said, you know, this is a quick thing. We're not even really doing it as a top story. Now here I am turning it into hot talk radio where you and I are going to bicker, but I don't

[Luke Burbank]

think on my birthday of all days.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. I was going to say something rude, but then I literally couldn't think of anything rude to say. That's what a nice guy I am.

[Luke Burbank]

That's good.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a good thing. It's bad that I can't riff, given my job, but it's good that I couldn't think of something really toxic to say in the moment. I think it has to do with ticket prices. I would say this is what really stood out to me in this article that you sent me, by the way. But it says, why so blue? Mainly is because everything is more expensive. The average concert ticket price in 2023 is $144, up from 115 last year. And $82 in 2020. $82 still kind of sounds like expensive to me. And like, here's the deal, I want musicians to get paid. You know what I mean? And I'm not even. I don't even care if the musicians are super popular. Like, I want that to be a viable thing for kids to grow up working towards. Like, I feel strongly about music, and so I want to live in a world where I can grow music and make a living off it. I think that's important for a society. I think that's important for people. But I think these tickets being jacked up has nothing to do with the musicians getting paid more. I mean, maybe partially, but obviously it's also because we have such a broken system that has been broken since I've been going to concerts in the 90s because of all of the extra fees and the. And the monopolistic practices of Ticketmaster and everything. It is.

[Luke Burbank]

But out of control. It was legally defined the other week.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? Yeah. And so maybe. I mean, I don't know if that. If you. That decision is going to help this situation or not. I don't see prices usually going in the opposite direction. But, I mean, I would say the issue is it costs you $144, literally, in this economy, like, for. You know, there are people who like to pay more for experiences. I'm somebody who would actually rather spend $144 on something that I can, like, have and hold and play with the rest of my life. I don't know what it is. Really expensive vase anyway. Right? Exactly. He's down in the basement playing with his Faberge eggs again. Anyway. But the $144 to go.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that what your friend was doing in the car?

[Andrew Walsh]

Very popular. Said that same joke 14 years ago. But anyway, you see what I'm saying. I'll end my rant there. But, like, that is a problem.

[Luke Burbank]

It's insane. And it's also, like, I know that, like. And I don't want to single out Meghan Trainor, who, by the way, whose music I actually like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Delightful, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of a. Yeah. Like, I'm not down on her, but like. Or I'll. You know what? I'll say Post Malone and Jelly Roll. Like, I understand that, like, they want to put on a show if it's. If it's in a stadium, they probably feel like there needs to be a certain amount of pomp and. And just excitement that goes on. But it's like, it. Honestly, it could be you and a guitar and maybe a drummer. Like, it doesn't. Whatever the, like, a sort of associated cost of putting the show on that. That you're trying to sort of, like. What's the word I'm looking for? That you're trying to Sort of like, sort of account for. With these $140 tickets. Like do less. Like figure out a way that you can charge 80 bucks for a ticket and you'll sell a bunch of tickets. Like make the tickets $50. First of all, the people that were the people in question are all rich already and they could just sell the tickets for less and sell out the state. Wouldn't that be more fun for everybody? Like and just maybe have one less pyrotechnic event or whatever it is that's, you know, adding to the cost of putting these things on. But again, for me it would just be. I would be so beyond psyched if we ever got to the level where we could sell out, let's say a thousand room place, a thousand seat place, I should say with tbtl. But again, you know, me and I would just be like, well, now we're only playing 700 seat places and we're selling them all out instantly. And we're going to feel good. We're going to have no Blue Dot fever. We're never going to be looking at. I guess what I really mean is like I do not understand the level of self confidence, no matter how popular you are, I guess. Unless maybe you're Taylor Swift, but like with very rare exception, I don't care how popular you are as a musician. The hubris of saying 40,000 people are going to want to come see me in 15American cities.

[Andrew Walsh]

These.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just shocking to me. And again, I know that there are people that, that do sell out arenas. It happens. I just, maybe because it's so far from my experience as a quote unquote entertainer. Like, I just think, I feel like this is kind of good. I feel like there's a reality check. No one should think that they can sell out an arena or I should say a stadium. An arena is a whole different thing. An arena might be like 10,000. Nobody should think they can sell out a stadium. Nobody. Because as soon as you think you can sell at a stadium, you've lost your essential humanity, in my opinion.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm going to see a show tonight and I'm just. It occurred to me it's been on the books for months and months and months. It's Post Malone and I never even looked up because Genevieve got the tickets like a year ago, I think. And I guess it's at the showbox. We're going to go see the new Pornographers tonight.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm more of an old Pornographers guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know you are. I have a Question for you.

[Luke Burbank]

I love the New Pornographer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I know. We were in. This will be fun. I mean, we were so into the New Pornographers back in the. In the early 2000s when we were kind of newly dating and stuff. And so. This will be nice. It'll be a blast from the past. But does the Showbox Soto exist anymore? This is a.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I was gonna ask you which. Which showbox you're going to. I'm hoping it's the one in Pike Place Market.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think so. It just says the Showbox. I don't even know if the Showbox Soto exists anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what. I never. You know, I saw Tim and Eric at the Showbox. Soda. Do we see them together? No, I've seen them, but I. Bajillion dollar tour or whatever. Yeah. Showbox. It's weird. The Showbox Soto kind of.

[Andrew Walsh]

It does still exist.

[Luke Burbank]

It was just. It's. It's a big giant, you know, hangar. There's something that was. I saw Prince at the Showbox in the Pike Place Market, and that was quite memorable. New Pornographers. That'll be really, really fun. Yeah, that record Champion. No. Champions. No. What was the record that had the kind of old timey fighter on the

[Andrew Walsh]

COVID It might have been Champions.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me look at something that's kind

[Andrew Walsh]

of like, you know what I'm think you know why I'm distracted.

[Luke Burbank]

Fighty.

[Andrew Walsh]

You. And I saw. And I. I think I'm gonna get this name and I'm pulling this out of the air, which is ridiculous considering I can't think of Nicole Kidman's name. But you and I and a group of friends I believe saw Mickey Avalon. Did I have. Is it Mickey?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Mickey Avalon at the Showbox.

[Andrew Walsh]

But that was Market, I believe, because

[Luke Burbank]

I think that was Showbox Market. Yeah, I remember that show. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Not Champions. It's something else.

[Andrew Walsh]

The.

[Luke Burbank]

The New Pornographers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Challengers. Challengers. Challengers. Yeah, but the one were really into were Electric Version and Twin Cinema. Those were the 2003.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah. Twin Five Records.

[Andrew Walsh]

Those are the ones. Do you remember really?

[Luke Burbank]

Know when I was living in Bellingham and I was weirdly on a Dan Behar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Kick. Because he's a new pornographer and he's also. Oh, God. What's his solo project?

[Andrew Walsh]

Destroyer.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Destroyer guy. And there was a guy who was going around New York who. There was a. A different guy named Dan. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And who was going around New York. The other Dan Behar on the show or something.

[Luke Burbank]

I kind of feel like we might have talked about, you know what?

[Andrew Walsh]

I interviewed him. God, this was when I was brand new in Seattle and I was like, I'll just freelance stuff. And I know I did a Skype interview with that guy, me personally, and maybe we use some of the tape

[Luke Burbank]

because there was this guy who also just happened to have the same name as the guy from Destroyer and New Pornographers. And he started go. And I think he looked a little bit like him too, physically. And he was. Would go around New York and basically he was doing like a. Like a cosplay impersonation of the dude that is Destroyer, until eventually, I believe he was asked to stop by real Dan Behar or something. Something along those lines.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought he was just. I thought he just had the same name. I didn't realize that he was impersonating.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, he was going to. There was a. There was a talk of the town. The way that I found out about this guy was there was a New Yorker talk of the Town about the other Dan Behar and that he was. Was showing up at places. And I don't know if he was actively lying that he was him, but he was somehow allowing the kind of misunderstanding of who was the OG Dan Behar to go on. Because eventually I think just either new. I think new pornographers were playing at like the Tonight show and somehow other Dan Behar was going to it and was asked not to go or something. I'm. You know, this is all kind of a bit foggy for me, but all that is to say I'm sitting in my Toyota 4Runner in Bellingham on a random 2. It's probably like before we. This is back when we did the show at noon, maybe before we dialed up. And I think maybe I'm eating a taco or something, and I just look out the window and real Dan Behar is walking past me. And I was like, what the frack in this economy In Bellingham. And then learned later that the New Pornographers were playing in town that night. And that would explain why we had a Dan Behar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you are so right. And I am going to give you this gift to you on your birthday. Thank you. This is from the Wikipedia page on Dan Behar. It says Behar has occasionally been mistaken for American visual artist Daniel Behar in March. Get your bell hand ready and I want you to ring it every time you got something right. In March of 2010, an article in the New Yorker was your first ding for the 2010 or are you just dinging away over there.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm just. I'm kind of just taking it as it comes here on my birthday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Honking it. Let's see here. In an article in the New Yorker, you were absolutely right about that. Detailed the visual artist Behar's project called the Google Ganger, which detailed his efforts to impersonate. I'm pausing for Ding. The singer of the same name. And the past confusion by the media between the two. Hey, there you go. You're absolutely right. He was actually sort of doing it as an art project. Sort of impersonating him.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And if I remember right, he. I think he did bear a certain physical resemblance to him. Anyway. That's going to be super fun. I'm happy for you guys. I wonder if they're. I'm gonna be in Manzanita this weekend. I have big weekend plans, Andrew. I'm gonna be down at the Oregon coast. Otherwise, I bet you they're coming to Portland, too. This seems like a hot zip for the New Pornographers.

[Andrew Walsh]

What are your big weekend plans?

[Luke Burbank]

You're seeing new pornographers tonight and then.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Mash Romantic was an.

[Luke Burbank]

That was the third Mass Romantic, too.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. What was on Mass Romantic? That was another new pornographer's record. But anyway, so let's see. I got that going now. We got a dog sitter. This is the thing. We had these plans on the books forever ago, and we. It's just like, we didn't. You know, we were thinking about leaving her home alone, just, like, keeping her in the kitchen, which is something that we're doing when we have to come downstairs. Lucy, that is our puppy. But, you know, we're still kind of new at this game, and I don't know, it just seems like, you know, getting down there, seeing a show coming, but having her alone that long for the first time while we're trying to enjoy a show and lose ourselves in the music. The moment I just sort of felt

[Luke Burbank]

like never let it go.

[Andrew Walsh]

We got a. We do have a doggy sitter coming over who's going to keep an eye on Lucy while we go have fun. And it really does feel like this is what the rest of the world has been dealing with for a whole. A long time. Like having to make arrangements before you can just leave your house. Vivs. And I've had it too good for too long, apparently.

[Luke Burbank]

And that ends now.

[Andrew Walsh]

It certainly does. So.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the New Pornographers are playing the Aladdin theater down in Portland.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. Nice. What did you say that you're Doing that you can't. Oh well, you have your birthday plan.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going to. Yeah, I'm going. I told you this yesterday. I'm not saying that to. No, no, talked about this. But what I learned yesterday was that I am like a low key control freak that I didn't really identify as because Becca has put this weekend together. And basically I said, well, what time do I need to be at your place? And she said try to be there at like 1:30 because we got to be over at Scott and Tiff's at 2:30. And I said, are we carpooling? She goes, don't you worry, you're pretty little head. I've got it all planned out. And that just sent an absolute cold shudder through me. And, and she's now clarified that there's no like, like surprises. It's not, you know, she hasn't brought in, you know, people for this, this is your life or anything like that. But it's just the fact that like, I don't know, it's something about not knowing the plan, something about just kind of like letting go and letting God that I, I guess I'm terrible at. Because again this is all. You know what actually kind of helps, I just realized is that Becca's sister in law, Darcy, Saturday is her birthday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's takes off some of the pressure.

[Luke Burbank]

Totally like spread, let's spread the load here. Let's share the, let's share the, the, the, the pressure of it being my birthday with you. So I've now I'm, I'm already starting to rebrand this as Darcy birthday weekend.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like that. Are you going to go see Pifer this weekend?

[Luke Burbank]

I just saw them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Isn't that a band? Do I know that name from tbtl? Is that a band you.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think Sean's into them. I think Pifer is the spin off of the guy who's in Tool.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's the guy that's in Tool who has. What is his name? It's like, it's like John Pucifer. No, it's like the guy. I think the dude from Tool has a spin off band. This is good. You know what? It's Friday. We've worked a long week. We're in the badlands. It's my birthday. I'm allowed to say this but like there is not a band that I have sort of less time for than Tool. This is Tool except the band Pussifer.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Wikipedia page for post. Pucifer won't even load Maynard James Maynard Keenan. Maynard Keenan, lead singer Maynard G. Krebs work.

[Luke Burbank]

That's how we get the young listeners is my Bob Denver impression.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I am telling you that if Adobe, a well placed Dobie Gillis radio reference doesn't bring them flocking to the yard, I don't know what will.

[Luke Burbank]

But is he okay? He is in Tool. By the way, can you do me a favor? Are you on the. The Pucifer Wikipedia page?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I am.

[Luke Burbank]

Will you click on the name Maynard James Keenan? Will you click on the hyperlink and will you arrive at his Wikipedia page? I am on it. And will you please look at his photo?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I like it. For a second I thought it was my TBTL headshot, but no, that's. That's Maynard Jean James Keenan.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God. It's just Andrew. It's so intense. That's the thing. But you will. You'll never understand about Tool and Puzifers. It's so intense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here's the thing about Tool. I don't really have a strong feeling about them one way or the other, but I get them confused with another band that Camaro Kev likes that has a similar name but a very different vibe. And that's my problem. One of them is Tool, and one of them is what it is driving me.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I'll remember it. Give me three seconds. It's. I'm gonna keep talking about it because one of the things that happened with this band was Kamaro Kev bought the, like, special lanyard, the, like, backstage pass thing, and it would appear that he was the only person who bought one

[Andrew Walsh]

because it worked in some special thing that you got with their latest release, but it gave you access to all of their shows backstage at all of their shows. And he was the only guy who was showing up for a couple of

[Luke Burbank]

years, and it ended up he was getting more facetime with the band he was expecting or frankly wanted. Yes, eventually.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tool, though.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's not too. But it's one word. It is.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's one word.

[Luke Burbank]

Sounds like Tool and sorry I did this. My stupid, stupid brain. I wish I could remember. Probably there's a listener who knows.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll buy you some more time. And again, you know, if we have listeners who's like, tool, good on you. I don't really have an opinion on it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm gonna put Camaro Kev, favorite band, AI over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here's my other connection to Tool, though, is our friend Ders, whom we talk a lot about. Talk about a lot in regards to the sports text Chain conversation. He says some things to me, or he has said things over the years that stick with me, and I find them to be so quotable. But I remember, like, 20 years ago, he said to me, yeah, I'm never going to get a tattoo, because if I'd gotten a tattoo as a younger man, I'd have a tattoo that says tool. Right now, I just think about Ders having a tool tattoo too.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that would be so great, by the way. And by the way, I'm. I'm getting no closer to remembering the name of the band, so just be for another day. But I feel like at least as it relates to the Mariners, Durge and I have, I think, are having a real detente. He's unblocked. I'm enjoying his perspective. I'm. I'm also tolerating his perspective when he's mad. It doesn't. You know, when he says, like, well, we lost this game. It doesn't. For some reason, it doesn't. It doesn't trigger me the way that it used to. Maybe it's a baseball thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's also because you're feeling negative, probably about the team. If you're feeling more optimistic, his negativity, you guys are kind of aligned.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we'll have to find out. Hopefully we'll have the chance to find out, because hopefully there'll be a time where I'm feeling positive.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here's what I hate. Here's what I'm feeling negative about. Popular one word bands from the 90s. Tool, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Oasis, Bush, Sublime, Radiohead, Corn, Weed.

[Luke Burbank]

This band is from.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not one syllable, is it? Helmet.

[Luke Burbank]

It's helmet.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna get mad at this list, but it is one word. Helmet. I thought it was monosyllabic. It's helmet. I get a helmet and Tool.

[Luke Burbank]

Helmet.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I don't think that's fair. I think they're different. I don't think it's fair to either band.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think they sound the same, but. But I could see why. I just googled Helmet, and all I'm getting are thousands of pictures of motorcycle helmets. Helmet band. Yeah. I think that. Yeah, he loves Helmet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And they love.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, by the way, they're from your backstage pass. Paige Hamilton is the lead singer. Not to be confused with.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's all I can remember. Now. How come when you type, how come you can tell we're late in the show when I start saying, how's come? How's come, how's come when you Type in how come Helmet singles. They didn't Helmet have at least one big song.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember during the grunge era of the 90s, knowing, like, there was one Helmet song that was playing on the end.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was it Unsung?

[Luke Burbank]

Probably. That would have been how Camaro Kev heard of them. I'm sure he heard them on the radio living up there in Lake Stevens. By the way, other names that Maynard G. Krebs is known as. Gaylord C. M.J. keenan, Dick Merkin. I mean, that's what he performs under.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dick Merkin.

[Luke Burbank]

He has apparently played under the name Dick Merkin. I mean, there's just nothing about this guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's no end of that activity.

[Luke Burbank]

Could work. That could work less for me from Akron, Ohio, though, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? Oh, well, then I need to.

[Luke Burbank]

He's from the rubber factory. He went to West Point prep school. School in Akron. Do you know about that? Did you guys play?

[Andrew Walsh]

No. I've never even heard you and Mike

[Luke Burbank]

Vrabel play them when he wasn't too busy cheating on his wife, by the way, that story just goes and goes.

[Andrew Walsh]

What the last I've heard. No. What was the boat trip? I'm just gonna let the helmet play in the background. Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

And if this gets us pulled, Camaro Kev will be able to reverse the decision.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

That's another thing that came with his backstage passes. His friends are allowed to play Helmet on the podcast.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's the boat with the variable thing and the.

[Luke Burbank]

When Diana Rossini was seven months pregnant with her child that she would later name Mike, she and Mike Vrabel went on a romantic. They rented a romantic, like, boat for days on end. And they were apparently very shy about any photos being taken. They didn't. Like, there was no. There's no photographic evidence of it, but they had to sign a waiver.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did read this, and there's one photo of him posing, not them together.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

She did not. She didn't. She refused any photo ops. But there was. There was one group of, like, teens or something there. Right. Or it was the employees at the boat rental place who recognized Mike Vrabel as a head coach. And they got his photo taken with them.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, something like that. And then. But then the reason that the wood that they figured out that both of them were there is because they both had to sign the, like, you know, release or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

For being on the boat.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's like, I mean, eight months pregnant with the child she named Mike.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

It's really hard, Mike Rabel. I mean, you're right. You know, that's actually a really good point. I'm being serious. It's because they're both high status people. It's easy for me to kind of fall into, like, just getting out my popcorn.

[Andrew Walsh]

Delicious.

[Luke Burbank]

You're absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

There's real. There are real people who are not them, who are part of their family, who are extremely, you know, hurt by this. So I do need to bear that in mind. In all seriousness.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I didn't say that as, I mean, I, you know, I didn't say that. Like, we can't talk about it. I mean, I do think that, you know, this kind of celebrity gossip, I think it's okay to dirty our hands and our ears a little bit with it. I mean, but it does. The bummer for me is, like, I just really liked Rossini. Like, again, I used to listen to her a lot on the LeBatard show. I love how much she talks about her family and she would, like, make fun of her husband and like to have that sort of, you know, kind of. I know parasocial is too strong of a word, but to, to have one of those media careers like we do. I would call myself the Diana Rossini of non married partnerships. No. Of podcasting. No. But she, like, talks about her life and you feel like you get to know her family through her conversations on the show. And yes, they're like, kind of ball busty and she's always kind of teasing about her husband and stuff. But, like, you got this, this vision of what their personal life is. And that's a good reminder for all of us that nobody knows all the details of anybody's personal life. And we let people in to whatever we're comfortable letting them in on, but it just, that adds a layer of, like, kind of heartbreak for me as somebody who just really enjoyed her work and both, like, her writing as well as, like, the personality that she put out there. And I don't know, it just really. I, you know, I have pretty strong feelings about this stuff. It really breaks my heart to know that, like, just for 10 years, you, you were, you know, stepping out on somebody.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, to be honest with you, that in my way, in my mind, almost makes it weirdly. How do I put this? What it wasn't was just a fling, you know, like, there's something about the fact that, like, they might be the love of each other's lives, you know?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And they may, they may have. Obviously they haven't gone about it in a way that was appropriate considering all the other people involved, which is to say their families. But it's like there's almost something about this that's romantic to me or star crossed, you know, And I'm not. I'm not, you know, trying to weigh in.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're the person, though, like, if you're the person who is being cheated upon, sure.

[Luke Burbank]

Of course. It does not.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's worse because it's not like, you know what? I went to this conference and I made a couple of. Really?

[Luke Burbank]

I went to a law enforcement.

[Andrew Walsh]

I went to a law enforcement conference. I met a woman with an Irish accent. And I know we live in Missouri. I got an email from somebody who wants an explanation of that. And I will tell this person. I refuse to give it that, oh, you know what it was. And I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Without a warrant.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if this.

[Luke Burbank]

I refuse to give you that information.

[Andrew Walsh]

I could be wrong about this. It could be this person trolling me a little bit, and if so, hats off to you. But I think they were being earnest. I legitimately got an email from Alyssa Listener, I'm going to say sometime in the past two or three weeks that said I finally watched the movie Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Is that the name of it?

[Luke Burbank]

That was where it was from.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it Ebbing, Missouri?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Ebbing, Missouri.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think so.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I finally watched that movie Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and they never mention a law enforcement conference once. And I do not know why you guys keep bringing this up. Is there any chance you can let me know or was I watching the wrong movie?

[Luke Burbank]

I had forgotten that was even the movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was you and I. Yeah, I mean, she. Should we. Yeah, I mean, should we. You and I got into it.

[Luke Burbank]

Into a debate Odowed or something. Somebody has an Irish accent, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. And I don't remember who the actors are. I mean, McDowell is not McDowell.

[Luke Burbank]

Frances McDormand.

[Andrew Walsh]

McDormand is star.

[Luke Burbank]

But I think her fellow cop is this Irish actor named Chris o'. Dowd. Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought the fact that. But he's not Irish. I think the. There's some. There's some characters in this movie who are married. One of. I think they're both cops. Right. And I didn't think the man had an accent. I thought he was married to a redheaded woman who has a strong Irish accent. Okay. And it's never addressed in the movie. Like, why. How did this person who clearly grew up in Ireland, end up living in Missouri, married to this cop. And you were kind of really hung up on that as an aspect of the movie. And I. And I. Now I'm just telling the story. And I said, I don't know. Maybe they met at a law enforcement conference. Like, who cares? Like, don't. Why are you letting that one little detail. Detail distract you? How many. Now I'm just fighting with you again. But, like, how many Arnold Schwarzenegger movies has he just kind of, like, accepted with his accent and.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I don't accept those.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's Genevieve's thing, too. She's like, never once. You can't just say. You can't have his character just once say, when I moved here from Austria, like, you just throw that in just for the edification.

[Luke Burbank]

It would help me a lot. By the way, Chris o' Doubt is not in that film at all, but Sam Rockwell is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it might be Sam Rockwell who's married to. Maybe. But anyway, he's just seems American and, like, he grew up in Missouri, and for some reason, he's married to a woman with an Irish accent. And that just really stood out to you. It's just never addressed.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know why that bugged me,

[Andrew Walsh]

but I don't know. Maybe they met at a law enforcement conference. And I think it was one of

[Luke Burbank]

those things where I think the funniest

[Andrew Walsh]

thing you could do. Yeah. And I think that maybe, yeah, I feel like, yeah, maybe I was just being a little bit grumpy, like, just, like, let it go. But I think we're both feeling a little bit, like, trying to win our point. And that was so. It was a little bit of an itchy moment, but also just, like, we laugh.

[Luke Burbank]

So I love it, though, honestly. That has added so much to the

[Andrew Walsh]

canon of the show you got your answer to. But I. That some listener for years has been like, someday I'll sit down and watch that, and then I'll conference and just hold on.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody be quiet. I'm watching Three Billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. I'm waiting for the law enforcement conference set piece.

[Andrew Walsh]

I hear there's a baby carriage that goes down, down the stairs.

[Luke Burbank]

That guy is sliding underneath it. At the law enforcement conference.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, I. I officially. Oh, do I have a gavel sound? I need a gavel sound so I can say, I think I have one saved as judge's hammer sometime somewhere in my thing. Nice. But we are officially calling this the end of the Badlands, and we are going to get out of here. That's good enough for me.

[Luke Burbank]

Too much. One more.

[Andrew Walsh]

How about this for me?

[Luke Burbank]

All right, that's gonna do it.

[Andrew Walsh]

The one that says do not use.

[Luke Burbank]

For today's episode and also for this broadcast week. Thank you so much, everybody, for listening. We're gonna be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for all of you. So please, if you can join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Friday. Have a great weekend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Stay safe.

[Luke Burbank]

Take care of yourselves. Go, Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck. I am. Power out.