#4724 Moderate To Severe Self Confidence

Summary

TBTL #4724 "Moderate To Severe Self Confidence"

Date: May 11, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

This Monday episode finds Luke and Andrew recovering from a big birthday weekend (Luke turned 50!) and weaving through their classic mix of personal storytelling, low-stakes drama, and pop-culture rabbit holes. Topics include birthday karaoke mishaps, the misadventures of meal ordering, a deep dive into children's baseball league woes, philosophical musings on self-confidence, and classic TBTL tangents about Mother's Day flower deliveries and modern haircuts. Throughout, the pair maintain their warm, self-deprecating, and lightly absurd tone, providing a welcome escape and companionship.

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Main Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Luke’s 50th Birthday Weekend Recap

[03:31–04:18; 10:33–14:14]

• Luke celebrated his 50th by renting an Airbnb with Becca and her family in Manzanita, Oregon.
  • Karaoke played a starring role, aided by a new machine that impressed even Becca’s DJ brothers.
  • “I was proud of myself because Becca’s brothers are both DJs.… They were so impressed with my karaoke machine…” (Luke, 11:24)
• The late-night singalongs went until 4 or 5 a.m., pushing Luke’s stamina and vocal cords.
• A humorous realization emerged when reviewing videos: the karaoke didn’t sound as good as it did in the moment.
  • “The chasm between how good I thought we were singing… and the sounds that I was actually making… had nothing on the karaoke that I was turning in at 3:30 in the morning.” (Luke, 18:35)

2. Andrew’s Hamburger Debacle & Barbecue-Sauced Salad

[03:49–10:22]

• Andrew tried to sate an unusual craving for a “big hamburger,” ending up at Stanford’s in Northgate.
• While multitasking and hungry, he accidentally poured hot barbecue sauce (meant for the burger) onto his salad, thinking it was vinaigrette.
• Embarrassment prevented him from asking for a new salad:
  • “It was like I just pooped my diapers and I had to sit in it. You know, I was just like, this is my mess and I have to eat my way out of it.” (Andrew, 08:48)
• The bartender found it amusing, and Andrew needles that Flavortown life hack, barbecue-dressed salad, is a mistake not worth repeating.

3. Airbnb Bed-Stripping Etiquette

[15:16–17:25]

• Discussing whether or not to strip Airbnb beds when checking out.
• Luke shares advice from his niece (an ex-housekeeper): stripping beds signals which were slept in so staff know what to wash.
• Andrew brings up “malicious compliance” – stripping beds to a nearly absurd level as passive resistance to the rules.
  • “If I’m doing this work, then I’m doing this work, right? And I strip it to the point that they now have to… wash everything.” (Andrew, 16:27)

4. Karaoke Song Choices & Pop Music Double Standards

[22:34–25:59]

• Andrew spotlights favorite karaoke earworms like “My Boy Lollipop” by Millie Small, noting its historical significance in American ska/reggae.
• Luke admits to favoring short oldies for karaoke (“Run Around Sue”), revealing a decades-old gripe about double standards in Dion’s hits: “Run Around Sue demonizes a woman for the same behaviors celebrated in ‘The Wanderer.’” (Combined, 23:09–24:29)

5. Mother’s Day Flower Delivery Fiasco

[32:05–40:43]

• Luke sent flowers to his mom via 1-800-Flowers but they were misdelivered to a different Susan.
• Both Susans ended up meeting and exchanged flower photos, resolving the confusion.
• Luke learned that Safeway is sometimes the local florist for national delivery services, often unbeknownst to the customer.

6. Dazzling Donor Rollcall & Listener Shout-outs

[29:43–42:22]

• Dazzling donors Rachel Sizer and Frank McCready receive extended thanks. Rachel’s chatGPT-generated TBTL acronyms amuse the hosts (“To Be The Light,” “Too Big To Lose,” “Throwback Thursday Live”).
• Frank credits TBTL with helping him through major life events and praises Andrew’s production.
  • “I listen to hundreds of hours of podcasts a year and yours is the most entertaining – and the best engineered.” (Frank paraphrased, 47:09)

7. Mariners & The Vetter Cup Dilemma

[42:22–50:17]

• Andrew debates attending a Mariners game (Croatian Heritage Night and part of the Mariners/Padres “Vetter Cup”) but feels torn due to responsibility for his puppy, Lucy.
• He contemplates leaving a game early for the first time ever, conflicted as a baseball fan.
• Luke offers lighthearted solutions (“Get a vest that says you’re a support human for Lucy…” 43:25).

8. Jalapeños (TBTL Junior Sluggers) Little League Update

[54:15–64:56]

• Coach Ben’s recap delivered with play-by-play detail.
• The team is on a losing streak but still in the running for the division; highlights include clever Portland-kid answers to “What do we do with canned corn?” (“remove the label, rinse, recycle”)* and stellar play by hitters like Armani, T-Bone, and Crosby.
• Ben’s color commentary amuses: “Like that time scientists crossbred a crab and a cheetah, things went sideways real fast.” (Ben, 59:19)

9. Voicemail: Is That Art or a Guy Sleeping?

[67:18–69:23]

• Listener Clementine describes confusing a man napping on the floor at SFMOMA for avant-garde installation art – a scenario both hosts find relatable and funny.

10. Haircut Hazards & Finding the Right Barber

[71:18–74:39]

• Andrew laments leaving the barbershop with ever shorter hair, wishing for more agency over his own (quickly thinning) haircut, and debates whether to return to pricier Rudy’s or stick with his local guy.
• Luke observes hair stylists’ tendency to cut more off than requested: “They’re the only people that, no matter how much I say, please do less, they’re like, but could I also do more?” (Luke, 74:39)

11. Reflections on Self-Confidence and Podcasting

[76:19–77:57]

• Andrew experiences “mild self-confidence,” but listening back to his own appearances on other shows brings out sharp self-criticism, mostly about his own laugh.
• Luke coins the episode title: “Moderate to Severe Self Confidence.”

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Notable Quotes

• "It was like I just pooped my diapers and I had to sit in it." – Andrew (08:48), on refusing to ask for a new salad after his barbecue-sauce mishap.
• "The chasm between how good I thought we were singing… and the sounds that I was actually making… had nothing on the karaoke that I was turning in at 3:30 in the morning." – Luke (18:35), on reviewing birthday karaoke recordings.
• "If I’m doing this work, then I’m doing this work, right? And I strip it to the point that they now have to… wash everything." – Andrew (16:27), on malicious compliance with Airbnb checkout rules.
• "Like that time scientists crossbred a crab and a cheetah, things went sideways real fast." – Coach Ben (59:19), on Little League disaster innings.
• "They’re the only people that, no matter how much I say, please do less, they’re like, but could I also do more?" – Luke (74:39), on haircutters.

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Key Timestamps

• 03:49 – Andrew’s hamburger/barbecue sauce on salad story.
• 10:33 – Luke describes marathon karaoke and family weekend.
• 15:16 – Airbnb routines and malicious compliance tangent.
• 22:34 – Karaoke favorites and critique of 1960s pop double standards.
• 32:05 – Mother’s Day flower switcheroo.
• 42:22 – Mariners game plans and the mounting dilemma of dog-sitting vs. baseball.
• 54:15 – Junior Sluggers (Jalapenos) Little League recap.
• 67:18 – Is he art or just a sleepy guy? Clementine’s MOMA voicemail.
• 71:18 – Andrew’s harrowing haircut quandary.
• 76:19 – Reflections on self-confidence and being a podcast guest.

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Tone, Style & Flow

Luke and Andrew radiate their signature camaraderie, turning the mundane into joyfully meandering audio comfort food. Stories are laced with playful self-mockery, hyper-specific cultural references, and seamless digressions that reward long-term listeners. The episode is relatable, irreverent, and warmly absurd, offering plenty of inside jokes and surprising moments of insight amid the goofiness.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from listeners like you and from the new film the Shadows of Seven Heads, the dramatic tale of an Israeli soldier who falls in love with conjoined Palestinian sextuplets. Out soon from Focus Features. Welcome to Thought for your Thoughts.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm your host, Darry Merbles, sitting in

[Luke Burbank]

for Nina Joplin, who is touring the

[Andrew Walsh]

country performing a spoken word opera about pear shaped women. My guest today is city council woman Leslie Knope. Darry, my team and I are trying to build a park and we need input on the design from you, the citizens of Pawnee. So I guess I'm here to send out the Bat Signal. A bat signal, for listeners who might not know, refers to the children's character the Batman, a strong gentleman who fights crime. Nocturnal. That's correct. Well put. Tbtl. First thing I never heard of you. Never heard your name before you went on some news show.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're a liar and you want publicity.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's all you want. First thing I want to know, what gives you the right to even be out here?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it. I think we're pretty heavy on the bad news right now, so maybe just sprinkle in some positive a spoonful of sugar and such.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love candy for dinner.

[Luke Burbank]

What about you? Love it or hate it, it appears to be another irrit. Irreversible step along mankind's journey toward God only knows what. In a few hours, you're going to be smarter than anyone you've ever met. Come on. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Oh, and the adventure begins again. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, Spock, Sabotage the system. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Oh, Ma.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's just beautiful. Where? We are looking at an absolutely gorgeous Monday. Although the grass is growing. And that means I've got to figure out how to reassemble my lawnmower to get out after it on this. This beautiful Monday where we've arrived. Episode 4724 In a Collector series. Let the fun begin. You may hear in my voice a certain. A certain frogginess. A little bit of that is allergies. A little bit of that is that I actually stayed up very late on Saturday night whilst turning 50, having a very fun 50th birthday weekend, thanks to Becca and her family. It was great. But this is what being 50 feels like. By the way, that was the most fun thing about the weekend was I kept saying to people, well, when you're 50, when you're 50 and you stay up late on a Saturday, you could still be recovering from it all the way onto a Monday, which is what's happening to me. The company Lucky Strike, which runs these high end bowling alleys.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cannonball coming.

[Luke Burbank]

They're being sued for ruining bowling.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's literally illegal.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of sports, we've got an update from the TBTL Jalapenos, AKA the Junior Sluggers. I mean, I figured he had to be in sport, but he wasn't in sport. Hear how the jalapenos are doing, Kids and fantasy. And we'll also talk to this guy, longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is Andrew Fireball Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. You coming off such a big celebratory weekend that we talked about a lot last week leading up to it. I think you and a lot of listeners are expecting us to begin with a recap of your big weekend. You only turned 50 once. Having said that, can I tell you a story about lunch?

[Luke Burbank]

I would love to hear that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I went to lunch on Saturday. I was for some reason in the mood for a big hamburger, which isn't a. It's not an urge that I have a lot, honestly. You know, if anything, like maybe a French dip or something. I was just thinking, I want a hamburger, but I don't want a fast food hamburger. I don't want like a tavern burger. I want like a big, like a burger so big that you wouldn't like it, Luke. I mean, you know, I guess you're not into the meat thing anyway, but you know what I mean, like more meat than butter kind of thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't overstate this. I'm into the meat thing. I just don't eat it a lot.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I definitely.

[Luke Burbank]

I love hamburgers, though, but not like what you're talking about. I'm picturing something that Gene from Bob's Burgers would be eating. Like just a giant, oversized, like basketball sized hamburger.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Like I like. Growing up, we would go to certain places that would have burgers that were just like really big burgers in a bun. And. And there's a time and a place for every kind of burger. Of course, I like a smaller tavern burger as well. But anyway, I was just in the mood for a really hearty meal every season under Heaven. Exactly. You know what it was, was we had recorded Oops. Should I tell the listeners this? Should I tell all five listeners of Spotless that we pre recorded a spotless? So I'd been in my studio on Saturday for about, I don't know, three or four hours recording with Hannah and doing a bunch of spotless work and drinking a bunch of coffee. And so I think the reason I wanted something so hearty for lunch was because I had that big pit in my stomach that I get when I drink too much coffee in the morning. And so. So I'm kind of like really fired up and hungry. And I'm telling Veebs, like, okay, you got to watch Lucy. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go get a burger. And I couldn't think of where to go. Like, what would you.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering about. Like, where do you get a giant burger?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I ended up hunting. I went to a place that I thought wouldn't be exactly what I was looking for, and it was fine. But a place that I've been for a French dip every now and then. Stanford's, I believe, here in the Northgate. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like at the. Where the mall used to be. And it's like kind of a stand steakhouse, but it's a chain. It's not a high end steakhouse at all, but they have a restaurant area and a bar area. And I've been known from time to time should, like pop in there and like I say get a sit at the bar. It's like, you know, it's like a marble bar. It's not my kind of. I like a good steakhouse. And this place is fine. The people are nice, the food is okay. But like, I don't like sitting at a marble bar or a stone bar or anything like that, you know, I like something a little bit more cozy. But yeah, it serves my needs every now and then. So I run in there and I order. First of all, I wanted their regular burger, but it came with cheese and mayonnaise. And when the server came over, the bartender came over to take my order. She said, do you. Have you decided? And I said, yes, but it might be a complicated order. And I saw her a look in her eyes that said, oh, no, I don't want to deal with this. And I said, okay, listen, I want your pub burger, no cheese, no mayo. And could I get a. And could I get the extra bacon, which was an option. And could I get some barbecue sauce in A cup on the side. And she said, oh, yeah, no problem. In fact, another server overheard that and came up to me about five minutes later and said, by the way, that is not a complicated order. You wouldn't believe what people ask for around here. I said, thank you for making me feel better about that. So anyway, that's what I ordered. And so I ordered that and I got a salad on the side and I started with a cup of chowder. So I ordered all those things. I was very, very hungry. The burger comes out after the soup, as it should. The side salad is on the plate with the burger. And oh, she had also asked me what kind of dressing I wanted. And I said, I don't like some sort of a vinegarette or something. She said, okay, that's fine. So she sets the plate down in front of me and says, anything else? I'm like, no, this looks good. And then as I'm realizing, you know, they have the dressing, it looked like maybe a balsamic or something. It was in the little ramekin, one of those like classic metal little ramekins. Right. And I picked that up and I'm pouring it on my salad as you do with salad dressing. And I'm thinking to myself, oh, they forgot the barbecue sauce. That's a bummer. I wanted the barbecue sauce on the side. And it was one of those things where I was so hungry and my brain wasn't working right. And it was as I'm pouring, as you probably have figured out, as I'm pouring my barbecue sauce all over my nice fresh salad. And you know, it's not a fancy salad, but it's not like, you know, it's not like a diner salad. You know, there's a little. There's some like little egg in there, you know, hard boiled egg in there. You know, it's a nice little salad. But in my memory, they're the kind of restaurant that brings the salad dressing in the ramekin on the side. But I guess they had already pre dressed the salad. The fact that I didn't know was actually a good sign because I don't like a lot of dressing. It's like a little bit, but I'm pouring the hot barbecue sauce on my good salad, thinking, huh, they forgot my barbecue sauce. So then I'm horrified and I sort of try to scra. Scrape off mostly where the barbecue sauce was. But I didn't want to let this.

[Luke Burbank]

Because you've already established that you're trying to not be a lot.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. So then I already Em a lot

[Luke Burbank]

then to be like, hey, I actually, I accidentally barbecue sauced my salad.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what, Luke? It didn't occur to me until this very moment that some person, some people might say, hey, could I get a fresh salad? Or even say, I don't mind even paying for it. It didn't even occur to me that that was an option. It was like I was just like a. It was like I just. It's like I just pooped my diapers and I had to sit in it. You know, I was just like, this is my mess and I have to eat my way out of it. Ew, wait. I wish I hadn't evoked diapers.

[Luke Burbank]

You were 11 year old, Andrew, when you were like, they put gravy on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Eat it or wear it?

[Luke Burbank]

Put gravy on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I ate it and weared it myself.

[Luke Burbank]

You put your own gravy on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

See, now, I thought the story was going to be, you've discovered, you know, some. You've discovered that we've all been missing out by not having more barbecue sauce. In fact, it's actually as bad as you would think.

[Andrew Walsh]

The bartender came up to me to take my plate at the end or give me my, my bill or something like that. And I said, listen, I think, I think I said, I want to get in front of something here. I'm not sure if you noticed that when you served me this, I immediately took my barbecue sauce and poured it all over my salad. I just want you to know that that was a mistake. I don't want you like telling your co workers like, you're not going to believe what this guy at the bar do. She said, I did not notice that. And then she said, how was it? And I was like, not great, man. And she was laughing. I was like, not. This is not like some sort of a guy Fieri Flavortown barbecue life hack that I have found. Don't do it. It was an. It was an accident. And I hope other people learn from my mistakes.

[Luke Burbank]

You're not even the comptroller of Flavortown.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not even. No, I didn't. Yeah. Yeah. How was your weekend? You had a. You had a great weekend with no barbecue sauce on your salads, I take it.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trying to think. Do we have any barbecue sauce? No, we did not. I had such a fun weekend. It was like exactly what I was hoping this little, you know, I guess 50th birthday would be like, which was spending some fun time with Becca and her family and hanging out down at the Oregon coast in Manzanita and taking some walks. And we had. Let's see, we went to. On Friday night, we went out into town at this place called Steeplejack. That was really great. Saturday night, we ordered some pizza. Both nights we really got my money's worth on this karaoke machine that I bought off of Amazon a while ago that's got a couple of little, like, cordless mics. And I was very. I was proud of myself because Becca's brothers are both DJs. Like, they both DJ events and weddings and things. And Scott owns a bar and has the whole sound system very dialed in and. Exactly. So they were so impressed with my karaoke machine, which was really. Which I felt very, very proud of, because these are a couple of guys who actually. Beck and I were driving through Salem, Oregon, a couple of weeks ago. We went by a car stereo place, which I thought has kind of a great name. It's. It's Hear no Evil, See no Evil car stereo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

It's edgy because it's kind of like you were working evil into the name, But I think. I think they were just leaning hard into the fact that it's hearing related.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I was wondering if there's a play on words there. But no, it's just. It's just the. The expression. The idiom. Hear no evil, see no evil. I wonder why they call it. Why not just call it hear no evil? Why would you add the.

[Luke Burbank]

It is. You know, I was double checking this to make sure that I. And you're right. It's just called hear no evil, which makes more sense.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And it does sound like you're not

[Luke Burbank]

hearing any evil with your car stereo.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like video only. This is audio only. You don't need the see no evil part of this, otherwise you'll be sorry. Do they have. Do they lean into some sort of. Is there a skull as the log?

[Luke Burbank]

No, there's a monkey.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, good.

[Luke Burbank]

And I. I think the reason I was misremembering the name is I think they have. There's at least two monkeys on the side.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Even though it's called here no evil. I think there's also one that's blocking its eyes, which is not part of the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Actual name of the thing. But we were driving by it and I said. I was like, who's keeping these places in business? Because the thing is, most new cars that you buy have such good sound systems now. Like when we were, you know, in our teen years and getting cars Unless you bought a really, really fancy car or then took it to, like a car toys type of deal. Car stereos were kind of lame. Nowadays a regular car stereo is totally sufficient for me. And I was like, who's. Who's keeping this place in business? She said, my brothers, they're both like big audio guys, and they were. Scott asked me at the end of the weekend, hey, where'd you get this karaoke machine from? Which was a high, high compliment.

[Andrew Walsh]

I remember you showing me that on the show one time. It had some special feature, like you. You. They charge in their own case, like earbuds or something like that. I can't remember exactly what it was. We were playing with it on the show and they seemed impressive, the mics.

[Luke Burbank]

It was. Yeah, it's a. It's a pretty slick little device. It's like, not Ikea, obviously, but it's like Icaro or something is the maker of it. But. But yeah, it was. It was. So. The weekend was so fun, but the problem was I decided on Saturday night slash Sunday morning, so that would have been technically yesterday, that I was going to, like, try to run with the big dogs. And the thing about Jeff and Scott is they're the big dogs of staying up late. Those two guys never get tired. And I thought I was going to prove some kind of point by just, like, staying up. And we were doing so much karaoke so loudly, everyone had to go to a different floor of the Airbnb. I didn't even know that I was

[Andrew Walsh]

going to ask about that because I knew that you were doing this in the Airbnb. And there must be some people who have gone. This is a pretty big crew. And this is mostly Becca's family. Right? There must be people who are looking to sleep at some point.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody who wasn't me, Scott and Jeff was trying to go to sleep, but everybody was trying to be nice to me because it was my birthday. So, like, I end up going into the bedroom eventually at like 4 or 5 in the morning, by the way. We have to be out of the Airbnb by 11. And I go into the bedroom and Becca is nowhere to be found. She had gone to the basement or the downstairs level. I didn't even noticed that she had. She had left and gone downstairs to sleep. And. And then. So I got a couple of hours of sleep and then Jeff's wife, Darcy was up early, kind of squaring things away in the kitchen.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your birthday, I would say that any other situation, everybody should participate in the cleaning up of the Airbnb on the way out, because those cleaning rules are so annoying. Anyway, we've talked about it, but everybody's got to do their part. Unless you're the birthday boy or girl, I would say.

[Luke Burbank]

I did have an INS insight into bed stripping from my niece, Maddie, who I think did some, you know, like, summer job work where she was helping turn over rooms at something that was like an Airbnb or maybe a little motel or something. And she said the stripping of the beds is so the people doing the housekeeping know which beds have been slept in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting. Okay. So they don't have to do all of the. Oh, that is that actually.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, it's so that they don't. In her. In her explanation of it, I think they wouldn't have.

[Andrew Walsh]

They don't have to strip. They don't have to go in and strip every single bed because they can tell which ones have been slept in and which ones haven't. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. And it's more like they'll wash all of the linens if they need to, but they want to know which ones, because I guess people could remake the bed and do it. If they did a good enough job remaking the bed. It would be impossible to know which beds had been slept in, which ones

[Andrew Walsh]

hadn't, and then you have to do them all. Even though some of the beds you might not have to touch if they. If they weren't slept in.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely. So the stripping of the beds is just a kind of an indicator to the person doing the housekeeping that like. Yep.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what they could say then? Leave your beds unmade if they cared. They could say, leave your beds unmade if you slept in a bed. You know what I mean? You know what my thing is. And I'm sorry to interrupt your story on this, but clearly I don't want you to talk today. I.

[Luke Burbank]

The less talking I do today.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is true. I'm not doing your favor. I'm saving your voice. There is a. There is a subreddit or something called, like, obstinate compliance or something like that. It's not quite that. I'm sure a lot of listeners know what I'm talking about, but it's like when you are told you have to follow a certain rule and you think the rule is stupid, you follow it. It to a degree that is actually frustrating for the person who is giving the orders. And my point is, what I do with Airbnb is now they say, strip the bed. I strip the bed. Like, I get. I get Wood varnish remover? No, I, I like, you know how like the bed will have like the little pad underneath the sheets and the mattress or whatever. My guess is they probably want you to have that on. But I'm like, no, if I'm doing this work, then I'm doing this work, right? And I strip it to the point that they now have to. Was on that bed.

[Luke Burbank]

Of course, the only person that's being punished in that scenario is the non owner of the Airbnb who's been hired to come in and.

[Andrew Walsh]

But if the. But I also believe that the owners are probably trying to save money by having those employees do work in a quicker amount of time. Right. Like, hopefully they're still being paid for the extra work that they're doing.

[Luke Burbank]

I would be shocked if they were. My guess would be it's a not hour. Again, I have no, like, I have no insight on this. So my guess would be, well, this is the whole thing we were talking about on Sunday. Eventually when everybody was up and, and I was up and, oh, I went out and Darcy was putting the kitchen together and I was like. I said something like, yeah, we were doing karaoke until four. She goes, oh, yeah, we heard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it was like.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, did you know we stayed up till 4? Yeah, we all stayed up till 4.

[Andrew Walsh]

Everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Because you guys were singing, you know, God knows what. I mean, it was such a. One more time. I know a guy who was at his limit of his extended family listening to him do karaoke. I also made the huge mistake of videotaping a certain amount of these performances. And then yesterday afternoon when I got home watching a couple of them and it was like, it was bleak. The. The chasm between how good I thought we were singing and I thought I was singing late Saturday, early Sunday. And the sounds that I was actually making, like a cat with its tail caught in something, had nothing on the karaoke that I was turning in at 3:30 in the morning in Manzanita, Oregon.

[Andrew Walsh]

So when you're, when you're like kind of recording these, are you setting it up? And is it like the three of you are just kind of singing together? I'm assuming there's three of you, right? You're all just kind of singing together at this drunken point in the evening.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm kind of doing that move where like I've got the phone, you know, in selfie mode with the, with the camera reverse. I'm kind of holding it, we're singing, you know, that kind of a thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you're all kind of just doing it. You're not like taking turns at the. This point of the night. Like, this is Luke's song. You're all just. It's just a sing along.

[Luke Burbank]

It's basically, yeah, somebody putting on a song and then everybody getting excited about the song and then everybody just. And at that point, the having the microphone was just purely symbolic, like. Yeah, good point as being the singer. Because that in no way diminished my excitement. If, like Scott picked a song that I loved. I'm just full throated again, as you can tell. I'm. I was just like, just screaming along with the music. If I knew even one. One word was enough for me. That's all I needed, one lyric. The other problem that we were having was this little karaoke machine that I have. It has a display screen on it which, you know, if. If I had taken the time to figure out how to really like wi fi connected and stuff. It's supposed to have the lyrics on it, supposed to be totally self contained. But I've never figured out how to make that part of it work. So we always had this thing going where it was like, the music's playing on the machine, but we're trying to get the lyrics off of somebody's cell phone. And maybe the lyrics are not in time with what's going on with the music and so. And maybe the lyrics are wrong. And so then we're just improvising a lot. And every song was like, oh, I know this one. I don't even need the lyrics, guys. And then it's like I get one line into the song and I'm like, I. I've never heard this song before in my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

How many times you do My Boy Lollipop by Millie Small?

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see, before midnight or after midnight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that. Well, I don't know karaoke. So I'm thinking, is that one of those songs that everybody does, so you try to save it for later in the night? Or. Or is it like you just know where sort of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't stop believing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Now here's the thing about My Boy Lollipop by Millie. What?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's Millie Small or Millie Smalls. I'm looking it. You know the song I'm talking about, right?

[Luke Burbank]

That is either a song from the 1950s or a hip hop song that I've never heard of. It's one of the. It's one of the two.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

My Boy Lollipop by Millie Smalls could definitely be a guy who's touring with Lil Wayne right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, I have read this in places, and then I've said it in situations like, I don't know, trying to convince Camaro Kev of this in, like, the Eagles or something, that some people claim that this is, like, the first. First mainstream American song that used, like, kind of ska or reggae kind of. Let's take a listen. You know this song, right?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I've never heard. Maybe. Maybe you've played it and I've forgotten

[Andrew Walsh]

it, but I feel like I grew up with this song, and then later on I heard that thing, and now you hear it. You can hear the sky. Like, this just was not in American music before that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God, this is great.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love this song. And I went through a fade where I was putting this on mixtapes. And Genevieve, really, that was one of the relationship testers. And this was pretty well in. She was like, you gotta stop playing the song. It's like, what's not to love? Here we go, Millie. I love this. It's really good. I. I legitimately, unironically love that song. But it's not to everybody's taste, certainly. And it would be kind of something interesting to break out several times during a karaoke night.

[Luke Burbank]

I may need to add that to the repertoire, because. The karaoke repertoire. Because my big thing is, you know, I do Run Around Sue a lot by Dion and the Belmonts. And what I love about that song is it's short. These were.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, these were the.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it had to fit on one side of a record or it had to. You know what I mean? There was a certain stricture to it back in the day. And I think. Listen, if you're gonna. If you're. If you're. If you're trying to decide which song to do at karaoke, go with the shorter one. Whatever that is. Go with the shorter length song. And I bet you that my boy Lollipops probably comes in about 2 minutes and 17 seconds or something now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know my ransom. You're gonna hate this so much. I'm sure I've said this to you on the show before. Sort of kidding on the square. You know, the thing that pisses me off about Run around sue is because I loved that song growing up. And who is it again? It's Dion and the Belmont. Dion. Yeah. And, you know, another song by Dion is I'm the Wanderer. And they're basically two songs. One is about how he just goes around, like, just romancing women from town to Town, all over the place. But then he has a whole nother song that's kind of like, stay away from that chick. Run around, Sue. She just goes. They're basically like. He's describing a female version of himself. Only one is demonized and one is celebrated. This, my friend, is sexism.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, Andrew, I would describe that feedback as sad but true. It is true, but now makes me sad.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, No, I don't. I don't see that when I say kidding on the square. Like, I do remember having that thought as a young person, like, long before I would. I mean, I grew up in an era where, like, the idea of being a. Identifying as a feminist was so foreign to me. Like, I was listening to probably Rush Limbaugh in the. In the blue pickup truck as I was running errands during this time. But I do remember intellectually being like, wait a second.

[Luke Burbank]

Is he the Wanderer?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is he? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or are we supposed to. But stay away from that Sue.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. Come on, man. Like, she's doing what you're doing. But it's just. It's a. It's a double standard is what it is.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, I had a whole thing with Dion. If I'm. If it's the same Dion. I remember there was a guy named Dion DiMucci, which I think is Dion's real name from Dion and the Belmonts, and he got real Christian, which, again, again, was pris. Do you say, say presaged or presaged? I think presaged.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would say presaged. Although I don't use that work, because I'm not exactly. It means sort of foretold.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what. That's how I'm trying to use it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So his. His fact that he clearly had double standards for women would. Would indicate that he was later going to become a conservative Christian. But somehow it was like Dion DiMucci had, like. In the way that. Remember, we've talked about this a while ago, which is like Bob Dylan had, like, a. Like a six months where he was a Christian or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And suddenly he was back on the list for us. I remember something about D. Dion playing somewhere. Dion Dimucci. And again, these could be different guys that just happen to be named Dion. But my thought was. Or my. The way that I remember it was the guy who sings Run around sue and the Wanderer got real Christian for a minute.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that suddenly.

[Luke Burbank]

And he was touring, and I. I don't think we saw him. But I just remember because my whole world was kind of like, you know, As a kid was clocked with, like, who's on the list and who's off the list of the people that were allowed to like and listen to. And I feel like I had a memory of my mom saying something about, like, oh, yeah, we can listen to Dion. Cause he's a Christian

[Andrew Walsh]

now. Wait a second, though. You're not confusing him with this Dion, are you? I hope it does. Now, me and this children's choir are gonna sing that's what Friends Are for, with New Jersey specific lyrics. Oh, no, that's the wrong needle drop. I was trying to needle drop. The two would end for.

[Luke Burbank]

They say that Sandy was a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. But why would Xi Jinping want to flood my basement and arrest my Bowflex? Show me the receipts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I don't think I can find it.

[Luke Burbank]

I got Dion DiMucci.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Which I'm really proud of.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is him, though. That's Dion. So Dion went through the.

[Luke Burbank]

The, by the way, still with us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Oh, Dion is not. Dion was.

[Luke Burbank]

No, Dion is 86 years old.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's interesting. Huh? Oh, there's singer Dion. Yeah. Huh. All right, well, I don't have a power out for that. To what end? We need to isolate that tape.

[Luke Burbank]

Show me the receipts. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, Go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattle dazzle. All right, let's thank some dazzling donors. The way that we're able to afford our Bowflexes, which were recently rusted by Xi Jinping.

[Andrew Walsh]

To an end.

[Luke Burbank]

To an end. God, where would you put Maya Rudolph in terms of the comedy pantheon? I would say she has to be top 20.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, she's got, in my opinion. Or in the eyes of culture. Although, I don't know. There's a huge difference.

[Luke Burbank]

Your opinion?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think of her 20s. Well, certainly. Certainly ever. But the thing about her is she's so. She just pops up in these places. She's like. She's beloved but underrated. I don't understand how she's so beloved but also underrated. Because she's not like a. She doesn't. Does she have, like, a specific role that she's known for? No, she just, like, kind of appears in all these things and just makes everything better.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Steals every scene she's in. But you're right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

She doesn't have, like, a Chris Farley had, like, van down by the river or whatever, or, you know, Tommy Boy or something. She does. Like, she ever been the actual star

[Andrew Walsh]

of a film That's a really good. Like, has there been a Maya Rudolph vehicle? I don't think.

[Luke Burbank]

Not that I can think of.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I love seeing her, like, she pops up in, like, every P.T. anderson movie. Right. Because they're a couple and you forget about it. And, like, she's in Inherent Vice. She just played, like, a very small role, and it's just like, oh, right, she's in this great. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And they're still together, by the way. Yeah, I love them. I saw them going into some kind of premiere. Maybe it was around, you know, one battle after another, but it was just like the idea that somewhere in the world, Paul Thomas Anderson and Maya Rudolph are thinking good thoughts about each other.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I know.

[Luke Burbank]

We need that in these troubled times.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also him, like, if he's making a movie, just being like. Well, like, I think about that because, like, the role she plays in Inherent Vice is a very small role, but it pops. You know, she's a character who, like, kind of is monitoring the front desk at some sort of weird New Age health clinic out of which he runs his private eye business out of a room in the back. Classic.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think I got that far in the movie, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so she, like, pops up here and there, and I love thinking about, like, was he writing this role for her? Because she's. That character is in the book, I believe. So was he. When he's writing and he's prepping, he's like, oh, yeah, Maya would be good for that. Or are they talking about it? Like, I was. Honestly, I kind of went on this whole thing of, like, imagining how they collab on something like that and how they arrive at, like, how. How they can work together. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we're able to buy a new Bowflex because of Rachel Sizer, who is donating to the show. These are some dazzling donors. These people are donating a dazzling amount of dough. Rachel is in Seattle, Washington, and says, hi, guys. I'm a little unsure what to write this year, so I decided to ask. Chat. GPT. Don't praise the machine, Rachel. It'll come as no surprise that I missed the mark in every way imaginable. Okay, thank you. She's dissing the machine, not praising the machine. Enjoy this list of what it thought TBTL might stand for. Now, remember, somehow this came up, I don't know, a few months ago, where we were googling around. I think it was, you were trying to find something that was tbtl birthday related.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And it came up with, you know, the chat. GPT tried to create a world in which TBTL was a thing people were saying when they forgot someone's birthday. Like, too bad they're late.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is not a thing that we're aware of at all. So this is Rachel asking the machine to figure out what it thinks a TBTL might stand for. To Be the Light.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually kind of. That's kind of profound.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I mean, it's kind of. It's something that maybe we would aspire towards.

[Luke Burbank]

To be the light through the Broken Lens.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wow. This sounds like a documentary that they make about a problematic filmmaker.

[Luke Burbank]

The Roman Polanski story Through the Broken Lens.

[Andrew Walsh]

There actually is a good Romanski documentary, I think, on hbo.

[Luke Burbank]

Too Big to Lose.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Turn back the light.

[Andrew Walsh]

Turn back the light.

[Luke Burbank]

How do you turn back the light?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. Is that a. That's.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounds like a Bob Seeger song.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I was gonna say it sounds like a live Paul McCartney record, but also. Yeah. Bob Seeger.

[Luke Burbank]

Throwback Thursday Live. I guess. I love Throwback is two words.

[Andrew Walsh]

Throwback. Yeah. I guess Throwback Thursday Live. That is kind of cool. That makes us sound way more, I don't know, Produced. Produced and full of life. And we're doing ve.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Throwback Thursday Live.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. I love that. Let's do that.

[Luke Burbank]

To be thanked later.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl. To be thanked later.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I like that. It was what my mom almost did yesterday when I sent her flowers and they delivered flowers from the wrong or to the wrong Susan. Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Mother's Day flowers. Where did they end up?

[Luke Burbank]

My mother received Mother's Day flowers from me yesterday that were to a different woman named Susan.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you didn't send flowers to your mom, she just intercepted somebody else?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I sent flowers to my mom,

[Andrew Walsh]

and there ain't nothing like soup.

[Luke Burbank]

I paid good money for flowers to deliver to my mother, but the delivery person went to the flower place, picked the flowers up and must have seen the name Susan and then taken. Basically, two different Susans got the wrong flowers and then connected with each other. My mom ended up connected with the wrong Susan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you know, the obvious. You know, the obvious question is, like, what. What were the better flowers?

[Luke Burbank]

Low key. I think mine were.

[Andrew Walsh]

You think yours were better, but not. It's not an obvious thing.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not. I don't know who's going to hear this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I was ultimately the. They brought the correct flowers. To my mom and the other Susan. So I think both Susan's got double flowers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Yeah. They didn't. They didn't take the other one back.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't believe so. And I believe the ones that I got for my mom. I'm. Again, here's the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

My mom might have liked, though.

[Luke Burbank]

My mom might have liked the wrong flowers more, though. We may have different. Well, think about it. Like, if it's me, you know, if it's. If it's. If it's me and it's flowers, I'm going with something that's very sort of like. How do you put it? Like, not, you know, it's not a dozen roses.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, a little. A little restrained and.

[Luke Burbank]

A little restrained with a lot of greenery. A lot of like, maybe, you know, I just want. I want kind of weird flowers in a bouquet that I'm getting. No one's ever given me flowers, but that's what I would go for. My mom might want a dozen roses. She might want a rose that has that little, like, synthetic, like, you know, do. Do drop on it or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Are they still making those?

[Andrew Walsh]

I forgot about. Those are the kind they sell in, like, gas stations, or am I thinking like, silk? Usually, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And they've got the little, like a little, like, silicone bead on them of like a dew drop or something. So I don't know if my mom liked the flowers I got her more than the flowers that the other Susan's kid were sending to them, but she got an absolute boatload of flowers. Because I was not the only one who thought to send flowers. I'm counting now. I'm looking at the picture she put on Hawk Squad. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. She might have gotten five to six bouquets of flowers.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wow. From all the kids and from all the kids. Life. And then the mistake.

[Luke Burbank]

But it was. It was kind of funny to me that she ended up. Let me see if I can find the exact back and forth. She said, here's a pic of the actual order you made. The mom who got your order sent me this as I sent her a pic of the flowers and the note she received.

[Andrew Walsh]

How did they get personal contact information? I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody really dropped the ball at 1, 800 flowers.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do feel like that is a little sus. Like, unless you get permission from both parties, you shouldn't be giving out personal information like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the whole way this went down was. Was so weird, so. And by the way, I want to thank Our dazzling donor today, Rachel.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

For getting me on this tangent. So we're driving back from the coast yesterday from Manzanita, and I got an update, like a text update that the flowers had been delivered. And so I. But I didn't know if my parents were even home this weekend or whatever. So I just wanted to make sure that they were like, oh, I wasn't trying to get any kind of an atta boy, but I wanted to make sure that the flowers weren't delivered to the wrong address or sitting at my dad's shop or something, you know? So I just texted my dad. I was like, like, hey, are you guys home today? Because I sent mom some flowers, and he said they sent the wrong flowers, but we're working it out.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's really, first of all, really good move, because when you were saying that you didn't want to look for an attaboy. That is a situation one can find oneself in when they're sending any kind of a gift. Like, if you don't hear from the person, you don't want to be like, hey, did you get that thing I sent you? But also, you want to make sure that they got that thing you sent them, you know, so asking your dad. Great instinct there. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I was not trying to put any pressure on my mom to be like, thank you so much for the flowers. But I just. Again, because they live kind of in, you know, a rural place. And again, I was actually kind of. My hunch was right because so my dad was like, yeah, they sent the wrong ones, but we're working it out. And I was like, what? He was like, we're at church. I was like, how do you know that they sent the wrong flowers if you're at church? And he was like, well, they got delivered as we were leaving for church.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And I guess because the note. I mean, because there's no way my mom knows what flowers specifically I bought for her. So it was just that the note, I guess, was kind of off tonally because it was to, you know, it was to the person of the same name.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, what if the note would have been like, dear Susan, this is the last I'll be speaking to you. Like, this could have been a real, like, cinematic moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or worse, it could have been super romantic. This reminds me of the first night we met.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, there's so many ways that this note could have gone really, really wrong based on the fact that there's two Susans that live out in Silverdale, apparently.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you think a lot of people are sending like super horny flowers on Mother's Day. That's a dangerous game. Save that for literally any other day of the year.

[Luke Burbank]

Just a dozen silk roses each bedazzled with synthetic dew drops and a real horned up note. But anyway. Yeah, so they eventually got the right flowers. But what was weird about it was I don't know if she's gonna hear this or not. So mom, you know I love you, but like, I feel like my mom was not going to say thank you for the flowers until the correct flowers arrived because at about five she texted me, was like, oh, these flowers are so beautiful. Thank you. But it was when she got the flowers that were for the right Susan and not a minute before.

[Andrew Walsh]

Also just busy. They had a lot of things going on. I'm surprised that your dad was returning texts from church. Now I'm assuming that he was not in. In the middle of the service when he's responding to your texts.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really good point. Let me look. Hold on. I'm going to get the timestamp and then I need you to. They go to some place called like the shelter church or the Refuge or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

All these churches have don't dox them.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen, if people want to go to the refuge church with my parents, I'm sure they'd be fine with it. Let's see. I'm scrolling back.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm looking for the serial theme song. I don't have any.

[Luke Burbank]

Could you. Yeah, so it was. My dad's phone was pinging off of the cell phone tower here.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta play it from the Internet. Unfortunately as you try to figure out exactly 11:19.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, that seems like prime church time. Hey, Pops, are you guys home? I had some flowers delivered for mom at church. They delivered the wrong flowers. I'm trying to time this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I tried to figure out the potential the penitentiary, but I couldn't remember the name of it.

[Luke Burbank]

A call from church. They delivered the wrong flowers. I called Safeway and told them they'll get it sorted. I said, oh, really? Like the wrong name? Yep. Wrong name and wrong flowers. Well, I mean, how do you know there were the wrong flowers? Dad, I'll let you know when we get home. If they fixed it, it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, also I wonder did it were both of them Mother's Day flowers did start because you wouldn't write Dear Susan as you kind of set this up right, Like Dear Susan, Happy Mother's Day.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it wasn't in the note, but it must have been in the. Yeah, you know, I had to put her name into the 1-800-Flowers or whatever. And by the way, also not to be snooty, but, like, I would. Generally speaking, I would not. I would not send somebody flowers from Safeway. But I didn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was a little surprised when you said that. I'm like. And I don't want to be classist or whatever about it, but I was like, I am surprised that you got your flowers from Safeway. You didn't. It was. The delivery service is not connected. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I said to 1-800-Flowers, please, can you get some flowers to my mom in the next 24 hours? Of course. I thought about this on Saturday afternoon, and they didn't tell me where they were going to be coming from. They just. Just said, okay, we'll get them there at a. By the way, a premium cost.

[Andrew Walsh]

I see. Okay. So you did end up getting Safeway flowers, but you didn't know that you got them through.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know they were from Safeway until my dad said they came from the wrong. The wrong person or the wrong flowers came from Safeway.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah. I didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't go on, like, safeway.com I went on 1-800-flowers, which I guess this has turned somehow into an ad for them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I'm thinking about. Yeah. Anyway, I had a flower story I was gonna tell you. I'm gonna save it for another day because we are still in the middle of Rachel Sizer's special message, I believe here.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Rachel says. In all seriousness, though, between a job shakeup and a death in the family, 2026 has started out a little rough. The daily companionship of the Cobros is a welcome treat and always brings a smile to my face. Thank you for what you do. I'm so glad I can help to keep this thing going for many years to come. Well, Rachel, thank you so much. We really, really appreciate you. And, yeah, you are vital to this thing happening. I would not be able to afford de rusting my Bowflex or my Safeway flowers if not for you. So thank you very much.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I will say you are not to be thanked later. You are to be thanked.

[Luke Burbank]

You're being thanked right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Tbtrn.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

As they always say. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready, Ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody, look who it is. It's our pal FANG Frank. Frank McCready, he says, same as Mike McCready from Pearl Jam. Is this week the better cup.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew is it later on this week? Yeah, I think it might be this weekend, right? Yes, it is. Oh, does this weekend. Because not only is it the Vedder cup, but I believe the last game of the Vetter cup will be Sunday night baseball. And I have a ticket to the game, but I don't think I can go. So really quickly, before we.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you want me to put you in touch with Benetti?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, good point. But no, it's the opposite. I've already purchased a ticket. So our friend Anita, who's Croatian, always gets a big group together.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, is it Croatian for Croatian night at the game?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, Croatian Heritage Night at the Mariners game. Usually this is a Father's Day daytime ball game. This year they change it on the calendar, and it's actually this Sunday's game. And I was looking. I'm like, oh, the game starts at 4. I thought it was an. I thought that was maybe looking at an east coast listing. And then I realized, no, no, no. For local time, I'm going to a Sunday night baseball game. The final game of the Vetter Cup. But problem is, we made these plans before we had a puppy, and I don't. We can't find a sitter, and I don't think leaving Lucy alone for, like, what would be five hours at the least, is a great idea. So I might just go for the beginning part of the game and then. And then kind of listen to the game on the way home, try to beat the traffic. Still trying to figure it out. Yeah. I'm. I.

[Luke Burbank]

Who's on your Mount Rushmore?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, Luke, you know that would sort of kill me, right? I've never left a baseball game.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm surprised that that's your solution to this, but here's what I'm saying. Get a vest. Get a vest that says that you're a support human for Lucy and wear it at the game.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. I get a universe in which

[Luke Burbank]

you could bring Lucy to the game.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, they only have the Bark in the park nights, and I don't think it's a bark in the park night. And even if it was, that's a special section, and special.

[Luke Burbank]

But I'm saying you can't between now and Sunday. You can't get some sort of shady paperwork that says, like, you need her.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. And frankly, like, that would. It just wouldn't. You know, that wouldn't be fun. She just. She's not. She's not like a. A still creature these days who can just, like, sit through a. Genevieve can barely sit through a full baseball Game, so. No, that wouldn't. It is. It's a little bit of a bummer, but we got a pet sitter for the. For that new pornographer show we went to on Friday night, which was fun. Like, if I miss this one. Listen, I love going to the ballpark, and this is a special occasion, but it also doesn't totally kill me other than having spent the money on the ticket already. It doesn't. It doesn't kill.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway, does the fact that it's the Vetter cup make you less sad to miss it? No.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. Or yes. The way you. The way you stated that. I can't remember if it's a no or yes, but exactly. I'm not. Right. Like, seeing somebody hoist.

[Luke Burbank]

You're gonna miss the guitar presentation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. It's actually.

[Luke Burbank]

And you know, it takes the sting out of it a little bit.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, it takes the sting out of it. Imagine this. Imagine me at home on the back porch or on the front deck, I should say, with Lucy grilling up some bratwurst, listening to the ball game on the transistor AM radio. Like, that also sounds really appealing. I mean. And again, this isn't one of those social events I'm trying to get out of. Like, quite the contrary. I really enjoy doing this because we know about those. Yes. And Anita. And Anita gets a big group of. Of people. It's getting bigger and bigger. And, like, you know, I'm definitely. I was looking forward to it, but we were. I was just going around and around and around about how to make it work, and I realized it's. I'm going to be so anxious. I bought. I want to tell you more about this stupid adventure some other time. But I got. I got a puppy cam this weekend that it's not. I'm using it right now. I'm keeping eyes on Lucy up in the kitchen. But it was a bit of an ordeal, and I think I need to return it for a different one. I can tell you about that another time. But anyway, I just think that I'll be. I just think that if I try to force myself to go to this, I'm gonna be so distracted and anxious. Like that time I went to watch the movie Hook, and I rode my bike to the movie theater and I locked it up.

[Luke Burbank]

You were thinking about your bike being stolen?

[Andrew Walsh]

And now, of course, I think about Medina. I literally probably locked it up to a gazebo in the town square. Pee Wee Herman in Medina. Like, it could not have been a less crime, like, neighborhood. And I was just like. But I was the whole time, Luke. And maybe that's one of the reasons I never truly appreciated Dustin Hoffman's portrayal Captain Hook is because I was so anxious about my bike locked up outside. The whole time.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm just picturing you and Lucy on that Sunday, the Mariners are locking up the Vetter Cup. Like you locked up your bike in Medina, Ohio and you're grilling and you're listening to the radio.

[Andrew Walsh]

And as there's a drive in a deep left field by Castellanos, it will

[Luke Burbank]

be a home run.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so that'll make it a 4 nothing ball game.

[Luke Burbank]

You're going to have a wonderful Sunday one way or the other.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if I'm going to put this headset on again.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so Frank, it's McCready. Like Mike McCready from the Vetter cup says, hi guys. I'm more than happy to donate to the show. I've been listening since the radio days. You've helped me through a broken arm, the loss of a 25 year career, and most recently a total knee replacement. Everyone on your team does a terrific job. I listen to hundreds of hours of podcasts a year and yours is the most entertaining. And Andrew, are you ready? The best engineered.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, hell yeah, Frank.

[Luke Burbank]

That is high praise, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. This is where you play the Vetter cup sound over top of the cereal sound.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure. I listen to hundreds of hours of podcasts a year and yours is the most entertaining and the best engineered. Except when I'm playing Pearl Jam a little bit too loud. Sorry, friend. Let's see. Special shout out to John, who has been incredibly helpful and responsive.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what, let's take a moment. Yes, let's.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's just take a moment to honor and appreciate our pal, our colleague and our co bro, our co business owner, John Skaroff, who is so good at being responsive to both the donors and the listeners and people who have questions. And us. We would not be here without John. So love to see him getting a shout out out. A kudos to the great citizens of Minnesota for their incredible bravery and patriotism. That also includes John, by the way. It's a twofer for our friend John. Please everyone, be sure to vote this November and take someone with you. This evil will not stand. As always, love the show. What you do is so important. Ah, Frank.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, thank you so much.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm curious what the other podcasts are that Frank listens to. I'm always interested. Like what's the sort of, like, you know, what are the other shows that people that like our show listen to?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's a good point. And are they similar or are is right. Or quite the opposite is, do we fill the need for this style of podcast in your life? And the other ones are maybe more straightforward news or, you know, topical or something. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Do they tend to play, like, alive, or do they play Hunger Strike. Loki? I do want us to win the Veter cup, though.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I want us to win games. I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I want us to win series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Although, you know, based on our recent performance, we'll probably do well against the Padres. Because they're good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because they're good.

[Luke Burbank]

We can only do well against teams that we shouldn't do well on. Against. On paper and against teams that have terrible records. We just love to. Absolutely love to lose.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's hurting me, man.

[Luke Burbank]

Yesterday was. Yesterday was a tough day. And I think you're right, by the way, that Ders. I'm not mad at Ders for being negative because I might be in a darker place than Ders.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Interesting to see what happens if I'm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nobody's in a darker place than Der.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? It was actually cute. They did this little around the horn video for my birthday. All of our friends, including your partner, were at Rodents, and they did a little kind of like, I'm passing the phone to somebody who. And it was pretty funny because I think it might have been Katie. Somebody said, I'm passing the phone to somebody who's banned from the criminals. And then they handed the phone to dirt and made a little video. It was actually very sweet. No, because I am. Because I am so, so angry at this team right now. There's nothing Andy can say that that bothers me in terms of negativity about the team, because I'm right there with them, which is both a bad place to be, but also, I mean, it's helping our relationship. So there's that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think that you've always said that you kind of get a little bit more negative about baseball because it feels like individual effort. You've been saying that, like, long before I was even that into baseball. I remember you saying that there's something about, like. Like, it's this guy at the plate or. Or you can't.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not. It's the. The. The risk is not spread in any way. You know, between. Like, I've talked about this a million times with, like, a football play has so many elements. When Rob. Ref. Schneider Is up there just continuing to not hit lefties, which was the whole thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

It feels very on Rob Ref Schneider to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. And also I think the length of the season, like the, the thing about football is it 16 games that are played now, a 17 week season with a buy. Is that right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Football, I can never keep a stretch.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's 17. 17 with a buyer, 17 games with a buy. So I think 18 weeks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I see. So it's 18 week season now. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

It was already 16 when I was growing up and I think they added a real game, so I think it's 17 now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. So all of that is to say there is something about the very short season, the relatively short season of football where it's just sort of like, I don't know, maybe it's sort of easier to be optimist longer into the season because I don't know, every game matters more. And so therefore, if I don't know, a couple of games in, but you can still see yourself like pulling it together, whereas baseball just, it can really feel like a slog when you just continue to trend downward, downward, downward into the dirt.

[Luke Burbank]

And again, there's no mistaking who did the dumb thing or who made the mistake. Whether it's Cal Raleigh continuing to strike out or Randy or Rosarena just being Randy out there, like throw, like sailing it over the catcher on a. On a throw that I think I could have made, like to get the guy out at home. It's like, just don't throw it that hard. I feel like all of Randy's mistakes are mental. Like he was close enough. I mean, that was a. You know, the play I'm talking about, by the way, in the eighth.

[Andrew Walsh]

I heard, I was listening on the radio to that game, I think, but then I. You texted and have mentioned it on the show before. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So the, the play that happened yesterday was, you know, we were leading the White Sox by one, but I knew it was. I knew we were cursed because we weren't scoring. I knew it was only a matter of time before they mounted two runs. That was all they needed. And of course they got that, I believe in the bottom of the eighth and the, the second. Or maybe I think they all. They scored all their runs in the eighth, but the second run came with a guy at third and a weak, almost borderline pop up to left field. Like a, A play that the shortstop could have maybe even caught. Like a play that I don't think should advance the run runner, but it was just Far enough in the outfield that they decided to send the runner on the very hope that Randy or Rosarena would do something dumb. Which he did. Which is he. He. He caught it and he threw it so hard and with such kind of like. He was so rushed on the play that he threw it over the catcher's head.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I didn't know about this. I was thinking of a different play from last weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, when he tried to steal.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, you know, I was loaded. I was getting a little confused with the Garver throw to second that. I was listening to the radio you talked about later. But no, the Randy thing. I was at the game on Tuesday, I think I told you that. Or Wednesday. I can't remember what day of the week that my. It was Camaro. Kev actually had some extra tickets and so he took a few of us to the game and. Which was very nice and a really good time. But I was up in the stands. I mean, nowhere near thinking that he could hear me, of course, but at one point, Randy was on second base and I was making the strangers around me laugh a little bit as I yelled out exactly what the count was after every pitch. Randy, it's now one and one. It's now one and one. Stay where you are.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, it's. It's been frustrating. I don't know, it's. I also don't know anyone in the bullpen anymore. I mean, that's just injury based, but it's just like we're just bringing in.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're not a fan of Randos? Wilcox Farms.

[Luke Burbank]

Once Upon a Wilcox.

[Andrew Walsh]

We have Wilcox Farms. Yeah. Who else do we have? Ferrer. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. At least our pitchers are cage free.

[Andrew Walsh]

They get that going for them.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of baseball, Andrew True. Let's catch up on the only baseball team that matters, and that is, of course, the TBTL Junior Sluggers, AKA the Jalapenos of the Parkside Little League. Now, I saw Coach Ben. I told you when I did that little 5k last week.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And he gave me some foreshadowing, some forestagging, which I think is his last name. He said. I've got a bad update for you. Now, I haven't read the update, but I just want to let people know that.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, let's see.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's what he's saying. Since my last update, your TBTL Junior Sluggers have played two games, both rematches against Parkside teams that we'd already faced. On Wednesday, May 6, the Jalapenos took on the Parkside Canned Corn, undoubtedly The best name squad in the league. I tried to work that name into my pregame hype speech by asking the Jalapenos, what do we do with canned corn? The correct answer, of course, was we crush it. Instead, at least half of the team offered some variation of an extremely Portland response. We remove the label, we rinse out the can and we put it in the recycling bin.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta say, I don't know that I would. Would you know to yell crush it? Do we crush canned corn? Is that what we do?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we catch it in our skirt, I think is what we do. But we would also have accepted crush it. We're also unsurprised to hear here that we take the label off and separate it and put it in the proper place.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I love that. That's what I do with my canned corn. Certainly.

[Luke Burbank]

Perhaps this genteel response was a harbinger of things to come.

[Andrew Walsh]

Harbinger, right.

[Luke Burbank]

That I was going to ask, do you go with harbinger or harbinger?

[Andrew Walsh]

I've never. Yeah, I think so. I've never heard harbinger before. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's harbinger. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with me. On a cold and windy evening, Jalapeno pitchers struggled to find the plate, issuing 16 walks over four innings. And when the ball was in the zone, the canned corn squared it up, peppering the outfield with hard hit line drives. Our outfielders stayed busy all evening, quickly getting to the ball and making the clean relay throws again. Take a note, Randy or Rosarena. But they could only hold the line for so long against the canned corn onslaught by games. And the corn had scored 16 runs, the most the Jalapenos have allowed all season. I'm curious, Andrew, with the. The sort of mercy rule, how in fact they were able to even score that many runs?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. What? Did you remember the details of the mercy rule? I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, actually now I'm getting some insight on this final score. Cancorn 16, jalapenos 12.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. Well, that's why they stayed in the game.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's why they were able to score that many runs because we were scoring runs with them. Okay, to back to Ben's note. To the. To their credit, the Jalapenos offense kept battling. In the first inning, a double by Armani, a walk by Amos and singles from Crosby and T Bone played three runs. In the second, the Jalapenos briefly tied the game behind singles from Atlas, Nico and Armani again, followed by back to back doubles from Amos and Crosby. Unfortunately, that proved to be the high watermark of our competitiveness as the pitching struggles continue to drag down the ship. After being shut out in the third, the Jalapenos rallied for four runs in the fourth behind hits from Armani yet again, Atlas, Victor and Amos. But by the end, the deficit had grown too large to overcome. Hustlepins awarded to Armani for a monster day at the play. He's pulling a real Luke Rayleigh over there. Victor for an all around strong game and T Bone for best nickname. No T Bone, who spent the. I don't think we even know T Bone's real name.

[Andrew Walsh]

We do. It's Tommy. It's Tommy. I have it written down.

[Luke Burbank]

Good. Good memory. I think of him as T Bone. No, T Bone, who spent much of the evening being tenderized. One hit by pitch and two in game injuries.

[Andrew Walsh]

Geez Louise.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. On Saturday we played our second game against the Parkside Panthers. I see. So it was a double header. Wait, a.m. i'm losing track here. Oh, Wednesday was the first game. So Saturday we played our second game against the Parkside Panthers. Panthers who are currently tied for first place in the league. That's not good. I'll admit I was cautiously optimistic heading into this one. We had our best pitcher, Crosby, making the start and we were avoiding the. We were avoiding the Panthers. Two ace hurlers, both of whom had pitched earlier in the week. Crosby did not disappoint. After giving up three runs in the first inning, only one of them earned. He locked in and tossed. Lost two scoreless, hitless innings. We needed that dominant performance because the Jalapenos bats were slow to wake up. In the first, both Armani and Fox were robbed of hits by stellar Panther defense. Things improved in the second. Singles by Atlas and Nemo, along with walks from Zaya, Nico and Victor helped plate two runs and get us on the board. In the third, we added more. Three more behind the doubles from Fox and Amos, a triple by Crosby and an RBI fielder's choice from. From T Bone. We entered the fourth inning leading five to three. But then like the time scientists crossbred a crab and a cheetah, things went sideways real fast. That's a great line, Ben. Like that time Scientists cross bred a crab and a cheetah, things went sideways.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that took me a second. Like at first I thought it was just funny silliness and then I. Then I really let it sink in. That's really good.

[Luke Burbank]

Text Ben on that one. That was really. That's pretty great. As a pitcher, Armani is either fire or ice. Completely dominate or. And unhittable or wild and out of the zone. I've tried to explain how his arm slot contributes to this inconsistency consistency. But since coaching nuances are mostly lost on a 10 year old who just wants to throw the ball as hard as humanly possible, unfortunately, Armani was having an off day and struggled to get out. He wasn't helped by a porous defense that allowed several playable ground balls to squibble into the outfield. I feel like baseball is the last place. It's the. It's the last remaining place. You hear squibble.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, squibble. Can you define squibble? Can you use it as sort of a country of origin?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. X, Z, S, C, B, T, T, T Bone T. Wrong. When like you scribble the ball like, well, he had a squibbler. Oftentimes squibbler is used like it's just kind of like a weird.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's a ground ball. It's a ground ball.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a ground ball. It's definitely a ground ball, but it's a ground ball that's not hit like, it's not like a super hard hit ground ball that's just like going to be a base hit. It sort of squibbles out there. It's kind of moving, you know, erratically. That's how I think of squibbles.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, that's the thing. I asked you to define it because I was like, oh, I don't know if I have heard that before. But it's also. There's something about baseball terms is, you know exactly what it means. Just a bloop. You know what a bloop is? A bloop.

[Luke Burbank]

You don't want to pee it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. You're just like, oh, yeah, probably just bloops out there. Yeah, it's kind of lands in the no man's land.

[Luke Burbank]

The Jalapenos surrendered five runs in the fourth. Or excuse me, the Jalapenos rendered five runs in the fourth and another four in the fifth, suddenly putting us in a deep hole. But the team rallied in the bottom of the fifth. The Jalapenos plated five runs during an incredible stretch of hitting that included four consecutive doubles from Crosby, Amos, Ollie and Tommy T. Bone's hit was particularly beautiful, an absolute bullet. Another baseball term of a line drive

[Andrew Walsh]

down a really slow arcing, a little

[Luke Burbank]

ball kind of a squibbler. But in the Air. Yes, it was thrilling to watch and I'm incredibly proud of the Peppers for battling until the very end. But alas, we came up short. Final score Panthers 12, Jalapenos 10. Hustle pins awarded to Ollie for great situational hitting. Crosby for dominating on both sides of the ball. Atlas for his continued excellence behind the plate. Your junior sluggers now sit at four and six. By the way, they're only trailing the A's by one and a half games. Andrew. That's the good news for the sluggers. Somehow they're still in the division.

[Andrew Walsh]

By the way, why are we not? I have a written down. Because the first time you did one of these check ins with coach Ben, I wrote down kind of our. I don't know if it's our lineup or our roster, but Atlas's nickname I have written down as Slappy. Have we heard about Slappy recently? I feel like we're.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean it may have been one of those things that was auditioned and fully catch on.

[Andrew Walsh]

But also when you're first, when you're given name is Atlas, you kind of don't need a nickname name. It's kind of a badass name already. Right. Is kind of cool too though. Like you're slapping it out there.

[Luke Burbank]

Now that kid named Thomas Guide, we got to come up with a nickname for him, right? It's a map related joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got it. We'll call him Garmin. How about that?

[Luke Burbank]

Call him Tom. Tom. Your junior sluggers now sit at four and six. We're heading into the final week of the regular season with three games over the next six days, including shooting two against our interleague rivals, Hollywood Rose City. Can we finish the season at 500? Stay tuned. TBT 500.

[Andrew Walsh]

You could win one game above 500. If you win out, you're four and six. You have three games to go. Why are you just shooting for 500?

[Luke Burbank]

In fact, there's literally no way we can be. 500.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean after two, mathematically two games you could be 500. And then after the third game either

[Luke Burbank]

going to be a game over or. Well, we could be three games under. I guess we could.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a lot of one game over. There's a lot of different permutations. I don't believe 500 is one of them though, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I don't. If I'm doing my math right. Reread that sentence again. We're four and six. We have three games left. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Your junior sluggers now sit at four and six. We're heading into the final week of the regular season with three games over the next six days, including two against our interleague rivals, Hollywood Rose City. Can we finish the season at 500? State champions.

[Andrew Walsh]

Geez.

[Luke Burbank]

Stay tuned, TBTL listeners.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was. That was the. That was the ghost of Coach Ben right in your throat.

[Luke Burbank]

That was the ghost of Saturday night.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I love that Tom Waits record.

[Luke Burbank]

That's when you put on at the Frolic Room, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Small change got rained on with his own 38.

[Luke Burbank]

Listen, Jalapenos, if you're hearing this, you can hear that I'm fading fast. We need you to at least win two games to finish the season because the Seattle Mariners are giving me no joy. All of my. No pressure, but all of my joy, all of my baseball joy now resides. Is now I'm heavily leveraged in jalapenos futures. So please, please, please guys, and, and, and other folks, I don't know if we have. I don't know the gender of the people on the team. Honestly, all of them. Whoever's on the team, do your best. We really, really need at least two more wins so that I can sleep at night.

[Andrew Walsh]

We need you to win the Mark Lanigan Cup. Here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh man, it's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, we will talk bowling tomorrow because there actually is some interesting stuff in this story about the. The kind of fancy bowling chain being sued for ruining bowling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that was an eye opening article, honestly. Well, some of it played into some. Some feelings I already have on the topic, but I learned a lot. We'll talk about it tomorrow.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's why it confirmed my pre existing opinions which is what I look for in a new story.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what else I need to tell you about tomorrow?

[Luke Burbank]

My priors, as it were.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just occurred to me I should have told you this instead of my barbecue sauce on salad story which I

[Luke Burbank]

don't know how that's going to go over. I can't stop thinking about that. I may have to give that. In the words of our friend Camaro, Kev, I may have to give that a day in.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, don't like there are. They make special dressings for salads.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you heard?

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't need to.

[Luke Burbank]

We can like different things. It's climbing the charts.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what would be relevant to your interest though is I'm trying to get out of it by being helpful, but I. Oh my God. I don't even want to say the Words. I might be hosting an author event at some point in June, which, as you know, is not a comforting zone for me and not something that I. I'll tell you about it on tomorrow's show. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Can. I want it to be tomorrow already. It's like I'm like a kid Christmas Eve trying to fall asleep so the night goes faster.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I can hear about Andrew putting himself in a position where he is just gonna squirm for two months in anticipation. What else? TBTL offer. All right, I have a couple of voicemails here. I don't know if we have time for both. They're both relatively short, and they've also been kind of hanging on the vine for a while. So my apologies for the tardiness of playing this from our friend Clementine, who's been a friend of one of my OG friends on blueski, too, by the way. And this is going back to a conversation we had forever ago. And I think Clementine kind of sets it up so I don't have to spend tons of time doing it, but about art and modern art and looking at something and not knowing if it's part of an exhibit or merely a trash can in the corner.

[Luke Burbank]

It's been happening to me a lot lately.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Hey, dummies. This is Clementine here. I was just listening to episode 4668 where Luke was talking about going to a modern art museum. And Andrew goes, when you're leaving, you're

[Luke Burbank]

not sure if you're art.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was at San Francisco Mama. Really? I don't remember that, but I'll take that as a joke.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a great line.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not so bad. Thanks, Clementine. San Francisco Mama with my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

And we were looking at the art, and some of it really was okay,

[Andrew Walsh]

and some of it was really great. But then we looked over, and there was a guy on the floor. And she's like, is that art?

[Luke Burbank]

And.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, a guy had just fallen asleep on the floor. But we went over to it to see if there was, like, a. Like, a description of what we're looking at.

[Luke Burbank]

We're looking at guy on floor.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, power up. Thanks, Clementine.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I need to know more about this guy. So in other words, Clementine's point is it wasn't part of the museum. It was a person who just went to MOMA San Francisco and was so comfortable that they went to sleep on the floor.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is interesting. Like, was it, like, sat down on the floor to, like, just. Jealousy. See, I love Seeing people who are just like, I'm gonna sit here and, like, really look at this painting for a long time or this piece of art, because I don't do that. And so I always.

[Luke Burbank]

I've started doing that, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Doing that more, it seems. It's very peaceful when I'm in a museum. I really like being in a museum, but it's so rare that I go to a museum, so I love that. But then I could see myself, especially at my advanced age. And now that you're 50, Luke. I mean, I think this is part of it, too. Like, just.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a lot about being 50 that you'd just never be able to understand, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. Well, I won't be able to understand it for about, what, four more months or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Even then. I don't think you will. Not the way I am experiencing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tell you what it's like to be 50 and a half. But anyway, I don't know. Is it like that? Is it. Is it somebody who's, like, going to the art museum and then nodding off accidentally? Is it somebody who's hard on their luck and they're like, well, I can actually buy an affordable ticket and sleep here? I find that hard to believe. Right. Like, there's cheaper places to fall asleep in San Francisco.

[Luke Burbank]

There's definitely cheaper places where you could, you know, know, presumably, anyway, lie down and have some rest. I'm just. I think the reason I'm mad at hearing about that is because I will never have that level of chill or confidence.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

To where I could. I mean, I can't go to sleep in public anyway, just like, even if, like, on a picnic blanket. But definitely not at a place like a museum.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I knew my dad was a real hard worker who was burning the candle at both ends when he told.

[Luke Burbank]

He's more. Welding the candle at both ends. Yeah, he.

[Andrew Walsh]

He was sparking the welding rod at both ends. He fell asleep in the dentist's chair. Now, I don't think anybody was actually doing any dental work on him at the time. I think that he was waiting for. Maybe the hygienist was finished with him and he was waiting for the doctor. Maybe they just set him down and then he was waiting for his hygienist. I don't know what it was. This is just a story that I remember from my childhood. But he's like, yeah, I fell asleep in the dentist chair, and I was just like a kid and just being like, how I can't fall asleep at night. How are you falling asleep in doctor's offices. It just blew my damn mind.

[Luke Burbank]

That's such a dad move. I feel like, you know, I've told this story a million times. My dad used to sometimes fall asleep massaging his own head, which is insane to think about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

He was like. And also, you know, a couple of times I feel like I've been getting my hair cut and I've almost wanted to go to sleep because it's very relaxing. You know, it can sometimes be almost like a head massage. Massage.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, absolutely. That's the best part. If they wash your hair now.

[Luke Burbank]

Was he on. Do you get your hair washed? I feel like that's been. Maybe I'm not going to nice enough places anymore, but I feel like hair washing has kind of moved off the list of things. It used to be a given and. And they would offer it and depending on what was doing, what I was doing, I would accept it sometimes or not. But now I feel like they're not even offering that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not where I go now. Remember, I made. This is another thing we could talk about, too. I don't have to make a big deal of this, but I am starting to wonder if I need to go back to Rudy's. I was paying so much money for haircuts at Rudy's, and I just don't have that much hair left. So then I started going to very

[Luke Burbank]

affordable amortized per hair. It's not a good deal for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right, exactly. And. And they would wash my hair if I wanted. I'd usually say, no, thank you because I don't know, I just don't like putting people out. And maybe it's just easier to get out of there, but, boy, fewer. Fewer, like, better kind of comforting pleasures in life for me than having somebody

[Luke Burbank]

watching the water temperature just right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God, it's great. But then I started going to this guy Meku, who's here in the shopping

[Luke Burbank]

center over in the Oak Tree Village.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Where I do everything now, where I grocery shop, where I go see movies, where I get my haircut. Where you vibe across the street from the vibe. Exactly. And I like. It's affordable. I like going in there. It's just like. It's a very. It's a very neighborhoody feeling to me. But he's really done a kind of hatchet job on my head the last couple of times. Like, I think the thing is, most of the people who are going in there are just getting high and tight, maybe. Whatever. Yeah. And I always tell them, like, you know, just Scissors. No, no, clippers. Clippers. And he. The first few were really good, but then he's been getting shorter and shorter and I kind of blame myself as I usually do. I'm kind of like, maybe he just feels like he's like there's not enough to do here because I don't. My hair, if it gets a little bit too long because I am losing so much of it, if my hair gets a little bit too long, I want it cleaned up. And he is affordable so he can go and clean it up. But I want it cleaned up so little. I'd rather go there once a month or once even three weeks if I needed to and just like clean it up a little bit. But I think he feels like it's his responsibility to give me a real haircut, you know, but like, I'm coming out of there sometimes with my hair longer or shorter than my beard, which is not a look I like. And there's been a couple where I was really. I had a friend visiting from out of town who I had not seen in like five or 10 years. And I remember I had just left the barbershop that day and I was like, oh, I'm literally. I hadn't been embarrassed about my hair in a long time and I have some pretty damn embarrassing hair. So I don't know, man, I either need to like have a conversation with him and try to reset things or just like go to Rudy's. It just seems like such a waste. I just don't have. I don't have enough hair to justify the Rudy's experience. But I don't remember ever leaving Rudy's and feeling like I'm not comfortable with the way I look right now. I mean, I always feel that, but you know, related to their craftsmanship. Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'll say. Getting your haircut, it's the only industry that I know of where they want to do more than you want them to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, always. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And even I just got my hair cut a couple weeks ago in la and we were, you know, I was down there for a shoot and I realized I was getting a little, a little shaggy. And so I wanted to get it, you know, cleaned up. And there was a barber shop around the corner, very Rudy's esque place actually around the corner from my hotel. And same thing I said to the guy, like, I go four on the sides, which is the guard, you know, the clipper guard that I like a four around the sides. And I said, and just leave the top alone. I'm good with the length on top because I'm kind of doing a mild comb over these days. And sure enough, he decided to cut the top. Yeah. Like aggressively. And I'm still kind of growing it out now. It's like hairstyle people or hair salon people, whatever they're called. Stylists are the only people that, no matter. It feels to me, no matter how much I say, please do less, they're like, but could I also do more?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. And I do think it comes more. And I do think it comes from a good place. I really do, especially with my guys. And I like him. That's the thing. I just kind of like him. And you know me, I'm just like, kind of. I don't know. I just, I love. I love feeling neighborhoody. You know what I mean?

[Luke Burbank]

I love walking around your haircut and then coming home from the haircut and picking up something at sars.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. But you got to be careful when you pick up something at sars, because it might be sars.

[Luke Burbank]

It's amazing how quickly that's just become a normal name for a grocery store. To me, for the first two weeks you were mentioning it, I couldn't get over the fact that it's called avian flu.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, and now I'm just like, yeah, it's, it's, it's. That's what they call. It's just bird flu. Hey, did you get those oranges at bird flu?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I. And I'm sure I'd made this joke on TBTL before, but I had a very nice moment, I don't know, earlier this year, where I had totally forgotten about a joke I had made on the. On the KUOW podcast. And somebody who I like and respect tweeted at me or blue skied at me or whatever, repeating my joke in quotes or something that I had totally forgotten about is related to sorrow. I said something about, we're talking about grocery stores, luckily, because that's the only thing I am in quasi expert on in this day and age. But I said something about sars, and nobody in the room had heard of SARS before as a grocery store. And I said, Yeah, I think H1N1 mart was already taken or something.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a good joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so somebody who I respect, like, kind of parroted that joke back to me on social media, like they had just heard it. And I had totally forgotten that I had done that. And also I think I do this self preservation thing where I try to just forget that I'm Even on. On that show. Honestly, I never go back, basically, to

[Luke Burbank]

just release everything you said into the universe and not kind of obsess over it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I made a mistake because I'm getting, unfortunately, something that they have diagnosed as mild self confidence. And so I. I think I was on that show. What was it last?

[Luke Burbank]

Moderate to Severe Self confidence. Show title. Moderate to Severe Self Confidence.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I went back and I had such a good time the last time I was on, and the person I was on with, the other guest is such a delight. And me and her and Trish, the host were just laughing so hard the whole time. And so a few days later or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Geraldine De Reuter, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly. It's Geraldine. And God, I just. We have so much fun in that room together. And so that made me think that it was good or that I had done a good job or whatever. And then I went back and listened, like, maybe even a week later, something, and I. It was hard for me to listen to. And weirdly, what I'm just thinking about now is what was hard wasn't even the things I said, but the way I laugh a lot, which I think is important on podcasts, to be.

[Luke Burbank]

Pretty big KPI over here.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's that?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, pretty big Core performance index over here on this show.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it is like. But I don't like hearing myself, because sometimes it sounds like I'm just laughing because there's a nervousness to it as well, sort of. And I'm Had a. Like how. I don't know. I just sounded like such a boner thought like, I was just like, oh, God, what a. What a fool. And I listened. I got, like, 45 seconds in, and I just, like, stopped. And I'm like, oh, that's.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't go enough sample size.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't go back and listen to these things. Just do them and let them go. And just be happy that they keep inviting you back, because that is a. That is a key indicator of not totally messing it up, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, I love that I said KPI and then start said core performance index.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, Cars for kids. Yeah. All right, I think we're done.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, we should probably wrap this up so we can listen to it later and feel bad about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, that's gonna do it for today's episode of tbtl, but we will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you, so please tune in for that. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Stay safe. I'm gonna say it. Go, Mariners.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Some people say global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I say show me the receipts. Because why would Xi Jinping want to flood my basement and rust my Bowflex? To what end? To what end? Power out.