#4726 None Of My Beaux-ness

Summary

TBTL Episode #4726: "None Of My Beaux-ness"

Date: May 13, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

In this Wednesday episode, Luke and Andrew dig into the lighter (and itchier) side of their lives, sharing updates on ongoing home projects, pet antics, and the logistics of selling used lawn equipment online. The show floats between odd errands, listener stories, and a thoughtful discussion about facing new social challenges, including Andrew's hesitancy about hosting an upcoming book event. The tone is conversational and self-deprecating as always, with the hosts riffing on the absurdities of daily life and offering heartfelt thanks to their listener-supported community.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Rainy Day Vibes and Technical Interruptions

• Opening Mood: Both hosts comment on the chilly, rainy weather in the Pacific Northwest, noting its impact on their mood and energy (01:38).
• Studio Distractions: Andrew’s home renovations and potential interruptions from a cabinet delivery add an undercurrent of chaos as both await workmen or Craigslist buyers (06:54, 09:05).

Selling (or Attempting to Sell) Stuff Online

• Lawnmower Saga: Luke recounts fixing up a used lawnmower to sell on Craigslist, marveling at the erratic etiquette of online buyers who express interest only to vanish (09:29).
  • Quote (Luke): “The amount of enthusiasm and I would say even desperation that people demonstrate around some of this stuff, paired with a complete lack of follow up, is always shocking to me.” (11:49)
• Online Marketplaces: Both riff on the evolution of internet sales, referencing “AI slop people” that seem to haunt Facebook Marketplace (11:38).
  • Quote (Andrew): “Everybody on Facebook Marketplace is fake except for, like, one or two people.” (10:38)

Animal Antics & Listener Pet Stories

• Crate Training Mysteries: Andrew discusses the counterintuitive logic of crate-training puppies and, unexpectedly, cats.
  • Lucy the dog and Bubbles the cat both seem to find comfort in their crates, which leads to a conversation about animals' routines and the things they do to manage pet chaos while recording (15:12—16:51).
  • Quote (Luke): “At every, every morning at three in the morning, Bubbles would come and start scratching on the door to Becca's bedroom...now [she] stays in [a crate] and sleeps and is very happy.” (16:01)
• Listener Pet Tape: A listener sends in a playful chicken-feeding song (“Chicken feed, chicken feed, hot dog and bologna...” (00:00)), sparking debate about animal-friendly lyrics and memories of viral kid songs (05:25).
• PETA Shout-Outs: The hosts share stories about a listener, Wes, and animal advocacy, including playful ribbing about eating shrimp and PETA care packages (03:02–04:05).

Dazzling Donors & Community Shout-Outs

(Donor Segments: 26:54–38:19)

• The show thanks its community, highlighting donation messages that reflect on shared experiences like the "Friendship" week and listeners’ connections with animal advocacy (27:54).
• Memorable Quote (Diane from Beaux Arts Village citing Lindy West): “Bringing warmth and lightness to the listeners...TBTL always makes my day a little warmer and a little lighter." (33:51)

Facing Social Nerves: Hosting a Book Event

(40:02–55:53 — Core Segment)

• Andrew’s Dilemma: Andrew debates whether to host an “in conversation” event for his friend Eric Moskowitz's upcoming book, “The Hardest, Longest Race.” He expresses anxiety about public speaking and self-identifies as more of a background listener than a front-and-center moderator.
  • Quote (Andrew): “I don't think that this is something that I'm naturally good at or naturally drawn to the way I think people like you are…” (52:39)
• Luke’s Encouragement: Luke argues that a good interview doesn’t require being an expert—just being genuinely curious and helping the author share their story.
  • Quote (Luke): “Most of the interviews that I do, all the information I get is from the book.” (49:10)
• The hosts share mutual anxieties about drawing crowds or “disappointing” event organizers by not delivering a turnout, balancing the value of showing up with healthy boundaries (57:13, 61:18).

Memorable Tape & Callback Moments

• Clips of “Chicken Wing, Chicken Wing” and a classic South Dakota PSA (“I don’t know if it’s video games or what...”) offer context to the show’s inside jokes (35:30).
• The hosts reminisce about horse books and movies like “National Velvet” and “My Friend Flicka” in a thread off a listener’s volunteerism message (32:13).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Luke on doing book events:

  "What this would be is you and your friend who you like, talking about a particular story that...anytime you needed more explanation, you have the world's expert on it right there." (48:51)

• Andrew on social anxiety:

  “I have no experience doing these things...not necessarily confident in my ability to be the right person…but I will do it for you.” (47:02)

• Luke on boundary setting:

  “If it’s just gonna be the first thing when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you start to feel stress about...then don’t do it.” (54:13)

• Andrew, tongue-in-cheek about being replaced:

  “Webster's defines a car as a motorcycle with four wheels. Is that kind of how you would begin?” (53:27)

Listener Spotlight: Facing Public Fears

(66:14–71:37)

• Listener Tracy recounts being plucked from the audience at a Kraken hockey game to sing "Life Is a Highway" in front of 18,000 fans.
  • Quote (Andrew, proud): “She did the thing. She’s like, I’m either gonna do it or not. And so she did it.” (71:32)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–02:49: Cold open with listener’s pet song; PETA banter; weather grumbling.
• 06:54–15:12: Andrew’s home renovation frustrations and Lucy’s wild dog antics.
• 09:29–13:10: Luke’s Craigslist lawnmower saga and ruminations on flaky online buyers.
• 26:54–38:19: Donor thank-yous, including community moments and animal lover outreach.
• 40:02–55:53: Deep dive into Andrew’s “in conversation” book event nerves.
• 66:14–71:37: Listener Tracy’s “Life Is a Highway” stadium story.
• 54:13–63:18: On learning to say “no” and managing volunteer “asks.”

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Episode Tone & Language Notes

• Tone is warm, meandering, and deeply self-aware—often blending lighthearted banter with moments of real vulnerability about stress, social anxiety, and balancing public obligations with personal comfort.
• Frequent callbacks and inside jokes; listeners enjoy their relaxed, “no big deal” approach.

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Summary

This episode is a snapshot of TBTL at its quintessential best—mundane misadventures, deep listener engagement, self-deprecating humor, and a heart-on-sleeve discussion of anxiety, social boundaries, and the ongoing learning curve of adulthood. Whether it's managing a wild puppy, debating a book event, or psyching themselves up for hosting duties, Luke and Andrew give voice to the small victories—and struggles—of everyday life, backed by a community that just “gets it.”

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Luke. Hey, Andrew. I just wanted to leave this pet song. I sing this to my chickens who have a pretty, I don't know, respectful relationship with. They give me eggs and I feed them and whenever I go in there in the morning, I say, chicken feed. Chicken feed. Hot dog and bologna. Chilling with my homies. So that's it. Power out. Tbtl. Haha. Charlie. Charlie bit me and that really hurt Charlie. And it's still hurting. I feel so full of. What's the opposite of shame? Pride. No, not that far from shame. Less shame. Yeah, I don't want to get into the hot dog versus sausage thing. Well, I might have to. We'll figure it out. I might have to.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

It's in the hands of the hot dog muses now.

[B]

So I'm nervous, but I'm excited at the same time.

[A]

So I'm just gonna start talking about

[B]

what I like and hope I get some replies. All right? Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's called the Internet, and it's a fresh new way to check out sites but buy clothing and surf music. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. First of all, you must wear pants for this. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty and stormy Columbia.

[A]

Man, it is nasty out there.

[B]

So nice yesterday and so sideways rainy today. It was just and remains just absolutely grotesque. Thank God I got the. Didn't know you like to get wet though. The yard work done yesterday. More on that maybe today possibly. I know I'm not supposed to talk about that, but. Oh, sir, just one more thing. There is an update with the lawnmower and I don't know how to not bring that up here on episode 4726 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. Also, hacky sack is backy sack life.

[A]

Hacky money.

[B]

It's always interesting when I observe something in real life in the wild and then all of a sudden see it splashed across the pages of the media. I feel very validated. We've also got to say hello to this guy. He's the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He and I had a really good day yesterday, although today things are off to a bumpy start. He wasn't in the frame when I was introducing him. He said this to me before the show. I hate you because you look different. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[A]

All I meant by that was you look different. Different than you did yesterday. Nothing.

[B]

I'm wearing my PETA hat today.

[A]

Oh, you are?

[B]

I did get. I did get hollered at by our pal Wes, by the way. Okay, hold on for saying I eat shrimp, dude.

[A]

What did Wes say?

[B]

He said shrimp have feelings, which is probably true. Wes, you got to.

[A]

Wes is a. Wes. It's a delicate dance.

[B]

It is amazing dance, brother.

[A]

It is amazing how we went from a conversation about, hey, I think PETA is using AI to scan every podcast in the world so that they can shout people out when they use one of their animal friendly idioms. And I was like, you burn someone. And so we got a note and our pals over at a text me back got a gift package. And I was like, oh, they're. So I went from actually accusing Wes of being almost non human as a bot, basically, like as a robot that is just reacting to things to Wes being one of the closest listeners, observers of DBTL and again, and a friend, as we like to say, a friend of Lucy, because he did send a very, very generous PETA package to Lucy with a bunch of toys and a little dog bed and stuff. It was very sweet.

[B]

I've got my rat pack hat on today, which I didn't have on yesterday, which you took really, really hard. I hate you because you look different. You know, it's funny, you and I did versions of the same thing before. Like, like, you know, during the. The sort of intro tape version of the show. Intro tape package. And then for me, when I was talking. So right when you started playing the intro tape, I realized, oh, I really wanted to get Fresca.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I also wanted to hear the intro because I hadn't heard that particular piece of tape that was from a listener.

[A]

Shout out to that listener.

[B]

Chicken wing. Chicken wing. Hot dog and baloney.

[A]

Chicken feed. Chicken feed.

[B]

Well, that's her version of it, but that's a build on a existing song.

[A]

I hate you because you sound different. No, I hate you because you look. I was wondering when she said. When she said hanging with my homies, I was like, this sounds like it's to the tune of a song that is just outside my grasp. What is that song? I couldn't quite tell if it was

[B]

totally made up kids singing it.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I'm trying to find it on the Internet at the moment. I think. I don't know if it was tick tock because I have had so much tick tock injected into my brain. And by that I mean I've injected so much of it in my brain, I can't remember where I see stuff. But I have a. I have a pretty specific memory of hearing a little kid, a cute little kid sing a version of that song. But not chicken feet.

[A]

I see. Okay.

[B]

It's like chicken. Something else, maybe. Chicken wings. Chicken wings. Hot dog and bologna boy. Hey, Wes, Trigger warning. That's pretty much pretty murderer's row for our pal Wes at PETA.

[A]

I need to talk to you about something here for real. Oh, yeah. There is a song. Chicken wing. Chicken wing. Official chicken wing music lyric here. I'm going to hit play on this. But I do.

[B]

I hope it's this cute little kid.

[A]

There's something that I really do need to tell you about because it is going to affect the show, but I'm also going to try to keep it from me spilling over into all of these feelings that I'm having right now because I don't feel comfortable going on the air with them. It's still a little bit of a private matter. Before I get into that, though, let's.

[B]

This is not the version that.

[A]

No, this is some sort of kids program. It's only a minute long. Oh, that was just the intro for this. Hot dog and bologna. Chicken and macaroni Chilling with my homies. This beat sounds fine.

[B]

What a good place to live.

[A]

I don't even have the energy. Something is wrong with me today. Okay, here's what's wrong with me today. We have this ongoing project happening in our basement, this Reno project, and I vented a little bit of frustration about it yesterday, and I felt bad about that. I don't want to be venting too much frustration during this ongoing project, but I will say this, that it came up because Genevieve had to take a trip down all the way to Auburn, Washington, during rush hour yesterday to pick up the cabinet.

[B]

The newly minted cabinet district.

[A]

Exactly. A cabinet that was made here in Seattle but has since moved down to Auburn. Apparently, Genevieve drive all the way down there to pick it up in rush hour traffic. It's there in about an hour or so. Pulls out her tape measure and realizes that this cabinet is about 3 or 4 inches too tall. Luckily, she checked before picking it up. Apparently, one of our contractors puts a little flag on the top of his ones and somebody interpreted that as a four instead of one. So all of that is to say the cabinet maker was very apologetic and immediately fixed it somehow. I don't know how you do that. But fixed it immediately and kept it overnight to reconnect. Glued. And then offered to drive this one cabinet. It's not all of our cabinets. Just as one very specific part. That's really sweet by the way, folks. I think he's a good guy.

[B]

Rush jobbing it, which was unnecessary. And then offering to bring this up is. Sounds like very pretty good folks.

[A]

All of these folks are good folks. That is a true story. Which is why I'm a little bit like. That's why I'm just. But I'm also just generally feeling a lot of frustration about a lot of things right now, from Howard Schultz to Pete Egg Seth as we foamed off a little before the show. So I'm just like in a mood anyway. But all I knew is these cabinets were going or this one cabinet area was supposed to be delivered at some point today. But I had zero concept of when or how. And I almost told you before the show, hey, there's a chance I might need to stop down because this thing might be showing up right when we're. When we're recording. But I hadn't heard anything. And I'm like, that seems unlikely of like the one hour of the day when I wouldn't be able to handle this. And then literally as you started talking, my phone pings and it says we'll be there in a half hour. So I need to let you know that at some point during the show, I will probably have to literally just abandon this program. You can continue if you'd like, or you can wait patiently while I go take care of this. Hopefully it will be a short little moment where we pause the show, but it probably will be abrupt when they arrive here with this thing. So just be prepared for that. And what I'm looking at now, between 20 and 30 minutes.

[B]

I'm guessing it would be nice if they showed up at the same time that this guy showed up who was gonna maybe come look at the lawnmower that I'm now selling.

[A]

Andrew. Okay, so you're in the same boat. So you can't be critical of my non professional. Oh, you can be then.

[B]

No, I. Cause I told him not to be here between the hours of 10 and 11:30.

[A]

It's amazing. So that's how communication works.

[B]

That's one of the ways I tend to handle it. Also, I haven't heard back from him. So it's one of those things where, you know. And Genevieve has a lot of experience, I think of selling things online or buying things online. It is. It gives maz Eisley Space Court. It makes it look like the Ritz Carlton, like, because. So what happened was yesterday I reassembled the. The lawnmower, and I got it driving again. It's in the same condition it was before, which is, like, it doesn't hold very much of a charge. It's not particularly effective right now, but I took a few pictures of. And decided to throw it up on old Craigslist. And so this morning, I get this pretty, you know, relatively excited message, like, hey, I'm interested in one of these lawnmowers. And I could be by, you know, pretty much anytime today or tomorrow. Just let me know. And then, of course, I'm like, wow, well, that's pretty cool that someone's interested in this. And I had put in the. You know, in the ad, I was very clear. I said, you know, this thing needs a replacement battery, and da, da, da. And so I told him. I said, hey, I'm available during these windows of time today and certain windows of time tomorrow. And I laid those out for him. And that was a few hours ago. And then I've. I've not heard back from him.

[A]

Yeah, because there's a lot of. I don't understand why or how. Sorry. I was getting choked up there for a second. I don't understand why or how. But everybody on Facebook Marketplace is fake except for, like, one or two people or something. I hear this guy is real.

[B]

Remember we went. Remember we. Yeah, we got into a whole thing a few years ago. I think it was on Facebook with some of these AI Generated. I think I was trying to sell some chairs, and there were these, like, slop people. Yeah, that's not my. I'm not being mean to humans there. I'm being mean to the machines.

[A]

Slop people are the people who empty the slop from my underground silo. Luke and I would like you to treat them with respect.

[B]

Slop technicians.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And I. I. There was that. Remember, there was these Facebook pages that were reaching out about these chairs or whatever it was I was trying to sell. But they all had, like, names like Connie McGregor. And they were, like, a little bit too. They'd had, like. They had, like, a very beautiful family, and it turned out it was AI.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, to what, again?

[B]

To an end.

[A]

To an end. That's what I was gonna say. Like, I don't. I don't get it.

[B]

I don't know. I mean, maybe it's just sort of beta testing. Like, can we.

[A]

I feel like you don't have to test me. I'm beta.

[B]

Some of these. I'm sure there are listeners who are, who are yelling right now into their phones or into the void because we may have even gotten some clarity on this back when this came up. But yeah, there's definitely, there's, there's some different levels. I'm not on Facebook with this. I could have gone to Facebook Marketplace. Thing about Craigslist is you will get a message from somebody that will be like, I can be there in five minutes to buy this from you. And then you'd be like, well, I can't do it in five minutes, but how about in a couple of hours or whatever. And then you just never hear from him again. And it's like, did you find a different lawnmower five minutes later? Like, the amount of enthusiasm and I would say even desperation that people demonstrate around some of this stuff paired with a complete lack of follow up is always shocking to me. Now, this guy wasn't being desperate. He just said, and he seems real, by the way. He gave me his real phone number.

[A]

He said, is it Wes?

[B]

I live. He's like, I will pay any amount of money to you to stop eating shrimp. They have feelings. But like, but yeah, so I, I fixed it up. I got it moving again. So, you know, you could drive it up to somebody's trailer or truck. I feel like that was a minimum. I feel like if it would, didn't if the. And I'll tell you, Andrew, I was kind of proud of myself that after I reassembled the whole thing and I turned the key, it turned on.

[A]

Nice. Nice.

[B]

Because, you know, it actually wasn't that hard. It was about three different little things that needed to be reattached, but they were reattached and it worked. You know, but so, but so anyway, yeah, that, that person. I mean, maybe I'll hear back from them sometime in the show. I don't think there's any danger of them showing up unannounced. I also don't have my address, thankfully. But, but all that is to say, okay, we both, both have things in the. In on the horizon for today involving now. You're. Are you just going to have them drop it in the garage?

[A]

No, because I don't, I don't think that makes sense. Also, there's some concern about.

[B]

Are they going to wait, wait, are they fitting this thing into the kitchen?

[A]

No, no, we're not stopping down for all of that. That'll be the job of our contractor. This is just. The cabinet makers are Just dropping off this one thing. All I need to do is get them from the driveway into my basement area here. It should not take long. And once they're in the house, I will literally just say, okay, I'm going back in my studio. Go, Go. Do what you. I'm just like. I'm generally itchy today. In fact, don't even mention this on the show, Luke, because it's totally inappropriate. But I was just trying to think, you know, I need something to put me in a good mood. So I'm thinking of a funny but blue thing I saw on Blue sky today. I guess that's why they call it Blue Sky. So I'm just sending it to you because I was like, this is what you and I both need. I don't know if you're like me, but I'm feeling really itchy today. Lucy is, like, just. She's kind of in wild dog mode. And so it was kind of a bit of a morning. She didn't do anything wrong, but sometimes she just, you know, she gets, like, kind of the Zoomies or whatever, where she's just totally unreasonable. And so usually I've been putting her in the kitchen during these shows and sort of baby gating her off. And it's been working really well. I now have a puppy cam up there, but today it's counterintuitive. But I'm learning this, that when she's really in that, like, just zany mode, you work, you know, you try to work it out as much as possible. Get her some exercise, play some fetch, go for a walk. We did all that this morning. But then, contrary to what would seem to make sense, instead of giving her a big room, like the kitchen, actually put her in her crate, take her over to her crate, and she's pretty happy.

[B]

How's she doing in there now?

[A]

Good. Genevieve got a bigger one because she's growing very quickly, so that's really helped. And it's really a. And it's. It seems so counterintuitive. That's the word I was looking for before. But it's almost like she knows. She's like. She gets so tired that she can't shut herself down. And I was kind of reading a little bit about this. It's like when. When they get these puppy craz, like, you kind of work it out a little bit, but then at a certain point, you're like, you got to go in like. Like putting a baby in a crib as opposed to a crate.

[B]

And so Becca does it with bubbles too. Honestly, Bubbles now sleeps in a crate.

[A]

Really? The cat?

[B]

Yeah. Because.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

The cat. I got a dog named Bubbles that I also left her.

[A]

I thought we might have new listeners. Maybe Wes has a cousin who's checking us out for the first time.

[B]

I got a shrimp and I named it Bubbles.

[A]

Sometimes I just do that. I help the listener along. Luke. It's subtle.

[B]

Yeah. Because there was a phase where at every, every morning at three in the morning, Bubbles would come and start scratching on the door to Becca's bedroom and want to be lighted. Now the reason Bubbles can't sleep on the bed with Becca and me and Becca when I'm over there is because she will also wake up at three in the morning and what she will do, what she has done before is literally opened her. Becca's jewelry box, which isn't. I don't know if I could open it. It's not a simple mechanism.

[A]

She's got those laser beams around it. Right. And the catasis spray, the aerosol.

[B]

And as far as, as far as I know, Andrew, and as far as you'll ever know, none of those jewels from the Louvre. Yes. Are currently in Portland South Waterfront. That is definitely not why those are still missing. Is that true? Because I don't think they got the guys, but I don't think they got the jewels.

[A]

Oh my God. I had, I totally had forgotten about that story. Oh, goldfish.

[B]

But so Bubbles is like. The problem is Bubbles is either gonna wake up in the room with us and then start just going crazy, which is super hard to sleep through, or we'll be out in the living room, dining room, kitchen area of the house, rest of the house and going crazy. Neither one is good. And so at some point I forget where she got this. I think it was, I mean, coincidentally, Andrew, I guess this would be irony. Somebody asked Alanis. I think she got on Facebook, Marketplace. I think she got this little crate, like a small little crate for her. It's actually kind of a nice looking one too. It's, you know, it's like a rot sort of, you know, because there's a range of how these things look. And you know me, it's nothing for me. The aesthetics, it starts with the, with the, with the form and then eventually we get around to the function. But anyway, she puts her in that and she now stays in there and sleeps and is very happy. And then you know, starts meowing at about like 5 in the morning, which is when Becca gets up anyway. But that's a big improvement. And I was like, does she fight you getting into the crate? She's like, no, she knows she goes into the crate at night.

[A]

I've never heard of this with a cat before. That's interesting. That's me letting the audience know we're talking about Bubbles. A cat. No, I. Because it's been a journey of me getting my head around the fact that this is puppy behavior. And I've talked to so many people about it, and you hear so many stories, it's like, yeah, once they establish it as their place, they're happy to be in there. Now, don't get me wrong, if Lucy is kind of not in that mode and we put her in there and we leave the room, I mean, there is a chance that she could start barking or whining. I just think that I'm starting to understand when she's got kind of crazy eyes. But it's been going on for a long time. I'm like, oh, you're ready for this now? And so she's been in the. Instead of in the kitchen, where I've actually got an eye in the sky, I have a camera in there now. She's now in her crate, and I'm not hearing anything. And so I think she's still calm. But just generally speaking, I feel like I'm coming into the show today with some just generally, like, itchy energy, for which I apologize.

[B]

I wish I could be helpful, but, like, honestly, if you want to just end the show when the cabinet guys get here, I'm also good with that because I have. I have two books to finish for Livewire. My daughter's coming here tomorrow for a trip. I got a guy possibly coming to buy the lawnmower, and we have a TBTB meeting this afternoon. And that's the. That's the first half of the things that I can think about. Oh, yeah. And I have various CBS trips that are colliding and creating much consternation amongst the different entities that I work with, because the schedule is going to be very complicated. So I'm kind of with you. I'm kind of in a. And it's raining, which. That doesn't really matter, but for some reason, that's just not helping my mood. So, I mean, this is one of those days where I was going to try to make a sluggers game tonight, because that's the other thing. I. If there's. There's. There's tonight's game, and there's a game on Saturday, and the Saturday game, which I was planning on going to, I forgot. I'M supposed to be filming at a UFO convention in Oregon, so I'm going to miss Saturday's game. So, like, I was like, well, maybe I can try to fit in tonight's game, but it's like an hour away. It's raining. It's like, you know, so I don't know. I just. I'm with you. I have a. Like, I. If there were people go like, you do this five days a week? And I'm like, yeah, you know, but it's talking to my buddy. It's. It's fun. When we're doing the show, I always enjoy it. Every once in a while, there's a day where I was like, man, I could really use this hour of my day.

[A]

Well, maybe we should have an agreement where sometimes we have days like this and we just reach out to the other.

[B]

Okay, like this.

[A]

We have eight minutes. That's a very specific. So now we're getting very good updates. I have 8 minutes until these folks get here, so maybe we should.

[B]

Oh, I thought you said on some days we just decide TBTL is eight minutes.

[A]

Oh, no, you know, I'm sorry. I totally lost track of my thoughts. I was gonna say, maybe there are some days we should just say, hey, would you like to host the show solo today and the other person can take the day off? I would be open to that. I'd cover for you on some days. I don't know if the listeners would care for that that much, but as

[B]

in the middle of that, they like our energy together.

[A]

Ironically, our energy today is very, as I keep describing myself, itchy. But no, the cabinet makers are eight minutes away. So this will be a good little transition as we get into the dazzling. I forgot also to follow up on my promise of telling you about why I may or may not be hosting a book author event at the end of June. And that is another thing that I woke up today. I have. Somebody has sent me a PDF copy of their book. And today my first step was learning how to read a PDF on an e reader. Because it was very difficult. Yes, I would say uploaded it into Google Books. I started with that.

[B]

To the embargoed media industry. I would just say to you all, and I don't know about this particular book, and it might have just literally come from your friend, but like the. I would say one of the most difficult parts about my job with Livewire, by the way, tomorrow night, Thursday night, Alberto Rose Theater. We'll see you there. And also, to some degree, CBS is trying to consume the Materials that have been sent to me, but that are embargoed, that have some sort of crazy code, some kind of a, like 24 hour, you know, like dual factor authenticated situation so that I can watch NCIS that hasn't been on tv.

[A]

Yeah, that has your email address blazoned across the front.

[B]

I just keep saying, like, Luke Burbank is floating through, like the thing at the end of the dvd when we were younger, that would bounce around the screensaver.

[A]

That's a real thing. People don't. I don't know if people know that if you've never seen a screener, but they're so scared of these things getting bootlegged and pre release that they really do. That they will put, like, if Luke is given a screener of this, they will put his email address on the screen during the broadcast, as Scott Aukerman often says, as the director intended.

[B]

See, and everybody who deals with this talks about it because Howard Stern is always complaining about trying to watch a screener. Because what will happen is you're having somebody on the show, they're in a movie or TV program again, occasionally a book, but. And it's embargoed. It's not out for the public yet. So they send you this thing. But, you know, we hear about Hollywood, you know, it's having a hard time. I'm not. I don't want to be mean. I don't want to. I don't want to tell them where they could lose some jobs. But whoever is coming up with the elaborate security measures for me to watch Stuart fails to save the universe, it's going to be fine. Just send me. Just send me a link that works, please.

[A]

So I had an observation, by the way, so I'm going to. I'm going to postpone telling you the more details about this book thing. And we can also hold it for tomorrow if you.

[B]

No, no, I really want to hear

[A]

about it, but I'll just explain the situation I find myself in. You might be asking, this is a show that you might cover. You might be asking, how did I find.

[B]

How did I get myself here?

[A]

But you are. You have now covered or are covering both UFC and UFOs for CBS News. Have you thought about that?

[B]

They're not UFOs anymore, Andrew, because sometimes they go underwater.

[A]

Well, you did say ufo though, so I'm thinking that.

[B]

Well, that was my mistake. Thank you for calling me in on that.

[A]

I just think what. This is a branding opportunity. I'm trying to help you here. I'm Trying to launch your career into the next tier, Luke, because you can see, you can say Luke Burbank, from UFC to UFO tier for a long time. Unfortunately, that's not actually true if you actually think about it. It probably just feels.

[B]

It's kind of interesting, though, the ufo. Sorry, what were you going to say, though? I don't want to interrupt.

[A]

Nothing. I was just going to say, from UFOs to you, from UFC to UFOs, Luke Burbank covers it all.

[B]

Actually, that could be my. My web blog that I launch or something when I have to spin this whole thing off because CBS shutters its operation and Livewire goes away. That It'll be from UFOs to the UFC. Look, have. Has. Has a notebook. Will travel. Luke Burbank, old style Reporter here's what I think we should do, because by my count, we're probably down to about three minutes before your cabinet guys. By the way, every time you say cabinet makers, I think you're going into a Mother Grimm style. Is a candle maker coming later this afternoon?

[A]

Maybe?

[B]

Cabinet maker, always in the.

[A]

It does sort of. I don't know if it's rhyme, but it definitely.

[B]

Butcher baker candle. I guess it was candle maker. This sounds like cabinet maker to me. Let's do this. Let's hit pause. By the way, side note, you're 100% on the hardline Internet at your home, right?

[A]

Yes. Double checking. Yes. Although my Internet, I did wake out. That's another thing. I woke up this morning and it said, lucy Cam is down. I was like, why is Lucy Cam down? Turns out my entire Internet was down. And then you call the Internet company to find out why, and their phone service is like, go online to figure out any more help. Like, they literally will not. And then you still.

[B]

While I was not using Xfinity.

[A]

No. And I've been happier with CenturyLink. This was the first time. And then while I was on hold waiting for somebody to tell me that they can't help me, suddenly the Internet came back on. Yeah.

[B]

All right, well, listen, go deal with what you got to deal with. I'll be here waiting, and then we'll get back to the show. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[A]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set now. Ready? Ready? Go. Everybody.

[B]

Razzle dazzle. All right, we're back. It's like we were never gone from the experience of the listeners. That actually was pretty fast.

[A]

How long was it, do you think? Five minutes. I didn't leave anything rolling over here. So I can't kind of look long

[B]

enough for me to chat with American Airlines about inputting my Alaska Airlines reservation, my mileage number in my American Airlines flight that I have from Los Angeles to Chicago so that I can pick a better seat. So however long that takes, that's one of the standard units of measure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was successful. They said yes and they changed it.

[A]

I'll be there in two Burbanks. I realized that I think I threw this Mariners ball cap on because I was going outside for a second and I had a hoodie and oh, yeah, now we're both have hats on. But it occurred to me that I was like, oh, I kind of. During this time that I was away briefly, I kind of came back in a different wardrobe. And it would have been really funny if I had just like, what If I just sat down, I was like in a suit just. Or like a blazer or something. Just totally did a wardrobe. Wardrobe change on you in the meantime.

[B]

That would have been so interesting. I'd have been like, he's really showing off for these cabinet makers.

[A]

Right? He's wearing a tuxedo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

It's after 5pm what am I, a farmer? Lemon. Well, the thing that keeps us in cabinet money is the donations of the dazzling donors and all of the donors, really. The thing that makes this a job that we do five days a week, even on days when maybe we want the show to be eight minutes, is because this is 100% listener supported podcasting. And this is my job and Andrew's job and John's job, and we are really grateful for that. All joking aside, and it's thanks to the generosity of folks like Rochelle Mortvet, who's in Bremerton, Washington.

[A]

Bremerton Military.

[B]

Right over there by my folks. Navy Town. Yeah, absolutely. Hi, guys. This year went very fast and very slow. I hear that, Rochelle. Thanks to Luke and Andrew and John for another wonderful year. I loved the week that you broadcast from Friendship. Boy, we did too. That was very. I just heard from Harriet the other day. By the way, Harriet sent me a birthday message.

[A]

She's sidebarring you. Oh, that's great. I'm glad to hear it.

[B]

Yeah, super sweet, Harriet. Shout out to all of our friends from Friendship, but particularly our friend Harriet, who who has continued to be a listener to the show and keep us updated on her. I heard you were telling me and I asked Harriet about this. I don't think I've gotten a response. She Died on stage recently. Yeah, not literally, but, you know, acting.

[A]

It was her first time, I think she said. She said she'd been stabbed, smothered and hung from a coat hook before.

[B]

Smothered and covered.

[A]

Smothered and covered like a Waffle House order, but never had died on stage. And I think she died on stage.

[B]

Yes, we had great fun in friendship as well. Rochelle. Rochelle says listening to you talk to all the people there made me want to see more of the middle of our country. If any of the tens works with an organization that helps animals that needs volunteers, please let me know. I'm especially interested in horses. I am retired, so I will travel, I guess. Email John and he can give out my email. Thank you. So Rachelle is in Bremerton and is saying, hey, if you work with an organization that needs volunteers, particularly if that organization is helping out with horses, hit up John. And Rachelle has given John permission to share Rachelle's information. You might also throw that up on the Sten's page if it can be found. Rochelle. I don't know what the story is anymore with that. It was once the vibrant hub of all things tbtl, and now it's become increasingly.

[A]

It's underground. It's like literally a digital underground. Which is interesting because I was one of your favorite groups growing up. And I will say this. I mean, this sounds maybe a bit afield of what. Let me just put it this way. There's no horses involved, I don't think.

[B]

But you want her to come watch Lucy.

[A]

But I do. I did get a nice note. I haven't responded yet. I'm sorry. I did get a nice note from a listener offering to watch Lucy so I can go to that baseball game. But I think I've got some other. I got some other plans in place. I will return your email shortly. But it sounds like Rochelle is looking for maybe large animal, like horse type of stuff. But I do want to shout out, the organization that I got Lucy through that we adopted Lucy through is called sga, Saving Great Animals. And they really were great. And, you know, and it's just been. It's really interesting for me getting to know or working with people who work so closely with animals, especially some animals that are like, you know, have a lot of needs, you know, and are like. And are very traumatized or whatever. And it just takes, like, very special people, I think, to do that. And it's just always very, very impressive to me.

[B]

Absolutely. No, I mean, those are. Those people are doing. Are doing God's Work out there taking care of the animals and particularly animals that need a lot of love, like you said. So Rochelle, glad to have you as part of the team. And hopefully you'll be standing next to a horse that needs some love very, very soon. I was watching on Tick Tock the other day. Somebody was doing something with a horse and I was. I was remembering the time when in classic Luke fashion, I was talking about going to equine therapy. Someone had, a therapist had recommended that for me. I have not completely given up on that idea. I've just gotten too busy selling lawnmowers. But either something that is very majestic, specifically about horses and the idea of a horse. Remember what was happening in this video? This horse really liked this. So what had happened was this young woman had to drive out to her grandparents farm, which was an hour from where she lived, to get this one horse that didn't like anyone else to go to its stall. And she was annoyed because she was like, watch. This will take one minute. Why did I have to drive out here to do this? Well, because I'm the only person this horse likes. And she drives out there, she gets out, she walks up to the, you know, whatever you call it, the kind of paddock, the area that's more like horse racing. Goes up to where the fence is and walks in and sure enough, the horse comes right over to her, nuzzles her. The horse loves her. She puts a little rope around it, walks it to the, to the stall where she's putting it. And that's the whole thing. But I just like there was something about this horse, like loving this, like,

[A]

you know, this person. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So sweet. And they are, as has been occasionally written about, they are majestic creatures. Andrew, I don't know if you've heard that much.

[A]

I don't think anybody's written any books about horses.

[B]

Well, they.

[A]

All the pretty ones, all the ugly ones. Like friend. Nobody. Nobody has.

[B]

Yeah. If I ever have another daughter, I'm naming her Flicka. I don't care what the state says. I think that's a great name.

[A]

What is, what book is that?

[B]

My friend Flicka was a big horse book back in the day.

[A]

Really? I don't know, like for adults or for young adults.

[B]

I think for kids mostly. Maybe teenagers. It was, it seemed it was on a lot of like library, school library shelves and roundabouts. We probably had a copy bouncing around our house. It's kind of in that like black stallion era. You had the black stallion. You had my friend Flicka. You had. Well, before that, I don't even know if it was a book. But you had National Velvet. Where Elizabeth Taylor is. Is riding this. This horse called National Velvet.

[A]

You know, I heard his name, the Pie. I didn't know that was a horse movie. I knew. I've always heard of National Velvet, but I don't know what I thought it was.

[B]

This is one of these movies that, like, my mom liked as a kid. So therefore, it was part of our kind of pop culture growing up. Here is this is Elizabeth Taylor. The horse's name, the Pie. By the way, she's running in the something. I forget what the exact race is. It's set in, like, England or something, but she's.

[A]

Sometimes it frightens me. I see things. I see things as big as life and think they're real. I have no idea.

[B]

As big as life and think they're real.

[A]

All I know is a Wu Tang beat should have dropped right at the end of that.

[B]

I know it's a little hard to. That was amazing.

[A]

They call it art of the shadow boxing.

[B]

She did live in Shaolin land. All right, thanks, Rochelle. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.

[A]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready, Go. Everybody rattle.

[B]

Settle. It's our pal Diane Marshall over there in Beaux Arts Village.

[A]

Hey, Diane.

[B]

Side of things in Washington state. Diane said, I struggled this year to find the words to explain, well, any of it, but in particular, why TBTL is important to me. Then I read Lindy West's comment about your recent crossover as bringing warmth and lightness to the listeners. Did Lindy write that about our recent crossover?

[A]

Maybe in her. Maybe in her newsletter. The text me back newsletter.

[B]

Oh, maybe.

[A]

Or maybe in a recap of the show. I don't know, but that's really sweet.

[B]

That was nice. Thanks, Lindy. And that nails it. It doesn't matter whether the topic is cable management or taco time or whether it's just.

[A]

It's video games or what very specifically spelled with a capital W. I don't know if it's video games.

[B]

Sleeping on that guy.

[A]

I know.

[B]

How did that. Why do I ask this question, Andrew, when I know we won't know the answer? But how did that. I do get into our life.

[A]

You do know the answer. After these messages.

[B]

That was after these messages.

[A]

I found him.

[B]

It's a tourney ad, right?

[A]

I was putting together a show about something, and in all of my searching for whatever that topic was, I came across that commercial. It didn't fit my topic for the day, but I immediately became obsessed with it. Started Playing it for Genevieve and then started playing it for you.

[B]

Nice. That. That is one of the few times when we've actually had a decent memory of the origin story of some piece of tape. Because I would have told you it was when I was in, like, South Dakota. Because was he in the Dakotas, that guy?

[A]

I don't feel like the Dakotas here. We can just take a listen to it here. Could you please. Could you humor me? But I don't. Where was. Whoa. Everybody calm down.

[B]

We've seen a series of one car accidents recently involving rollovers and serious injuries to passengers. I don't know if it's video games or what, but it's so unfair to, after something like this, to blame people in the backseat or say they deserved it. I don't like consoling these parents about what's happened, but I'll do it until it stops. Please stop. Will you please stop? I'm Scott Hoy.

[A]

You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right about the Dakotas, by the way. For some reason, I had it further east, but South Dakota. Scott Hoy. Congratulations to you, Luke, for being right.

[B]

Well, congratulations to you for unearthing, I think, some of the best tape in many years for old tbtl. Diane says, I don't know whether it's video games or what. TBTL always makes my day a little warmer and a little lighter. So thanks, Andrew, Luke, and John, you keep making the content, and I'll keep supporting. Deal's a deal. Diane, no take backs.

[A]

Especially because you lowered the bar for us. You said we can talk about anything, so I do appreciate that. And we do. Before we read the very last line of Diane's message here, can I throw something out here? And Luke, you can. You can weigh in on this if you want to, but it's really more of a question for Diane and people who live in Beaux Arts Village, because Diane's the only person I know who lives in Beaux Arts Village. And I was thinking, what do you call somebody who lives in Beaux Arts Village? And I have an idea. And I don't know if they'll sign off on this because it sort of has a negative connotation, but I think it's lovely. How about Bosie bodies?

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

That's a shame. Feel like you had that queued up before you even heard what I was gonna say.

[B]

Well, I had a hunch.

[A]

Have we worked together before?

[B]

Anytime. You being that excited about it really tipped me off that I needed to make sure to get this from the

[A]

UFC to UFOs Luke Burbank has been negging his co host for almost 20 years. He's not a bozy.

[B]

No, I can, you know what? I keep honestly, I keep out of other people's business and, and yeah, keep out of other people's bozeness. Okay. It's none of. That's none of my boseness. Diane says a word to the tens. Please take care of yourselves. What you do is so important. Truer words, Diane, have never been spoken. What the tens do for each other and their families and loved ones and the places they work and the places they volunteer and for us, if I could just recenter us because there was over seven seconds where I wasn't centered in this. And what do you guys do for us so that we can do this for our job is is, is really important and really, really appreciated. So thank you very, very much.

[A]

Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right.

[B]

You mentioned this yesterday on the show and then I goldfished it and then you brought it up today and I'm so glad you did because I want to hear about the book event that you may be hosting or the what Q and A. The in conversation with what is going on.

[A]

Literally in conversation is the word that was presented to me. So this involves a friend of mine and actually I would like to encourage listeners to check out this book. I think it's only in pre order right now because this is connected to somebody who I know didn't really work with in Concord, New Hampshire because he worked for the newspaper in town and I worked for the public radio station. But we became friends there as all of us younger, young journalists working in our first jobs kind of hung out and Concord, New Hampshire, and Eric, I believe, I think he wrote for the Concord Monitor at the time. And then he'd go on to. His name is Eric Moskowitz. He'd go on to write for the Boston Globe. And in fact he was part of the Pulitzer Prize winning team that covered the Boston Marathon bombing. In fact, that's kind of part of this too. He did me a huge favor one time. Do you remember a little thing called the Andrew Walsh Show, Luke? It was on at night on Cairo from 7 to 10. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that time slot, but anyway, not a primo time slot. As you know. That show that I did host and worked with our friend Nick Jaran on for exactly one year of my life had its ups and downs. And it's ups, it's occasional ups were when we were doing very, very silly Things about pop culture, I would say it's downs were when I was trying to do actual news coverage, but there were certain events that called for it, such as the Boston Marathon bombing.

[B]

You were doing the Andrew Wells show when that happened.

[A]

I was, yeah. So that kind of timestamps that era of my life a little bit. And I knew that Eric had a pretty big scoop on that story because. And I'm now I'm kind of blanking on the details of it. Oddly, you might remember this better, but I think part of that story was in the kind of manhunt for the perpetrators there. Somebody, I believe was. Yes. And wasn't somebody carjacked or something? Eric, a scoop with somebody who is very, very close to the story. And I want to say maybe somebody who was carjacked, although I might have that part wrong. And he was very sought after in the national media that particular day, but he took the time to be on the Andrew Walsh show, which still blows me away. I remember crouching in this little. In this little studio, reconnecting with my friend who I probably hadn't talked to in about 10 years, as he was kind of doing me the favor. Because, Luke, like, you'll back me up a little bit on that. Like when you're like a booker or somebody who's trying to be booked. I've never been the latter. Like a day like that is really frenetic for you. Right? Like, he could. I'm sure he was. People much larger platforms than the Andrew Walsh show were trying to get him on. And I remember it was very gracious of him to be on my show to give me kind of the updates. No, that's huge.

[B]

I remember doing, particularly in my days when I was a booker for NPR in la, and that whole thing of like, if you could get the sought after, you know, journalist of the moment who had the. Who had the scoop or whatever, it was a real feather in your cap and. And you know, like getting them to do nighttime AM radio in Seattle, I guess, at that time, FM radio, but still, like, that's a get.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So anyway, that just lays the groundwork a little bit.

[B]

But.

[A]

But Eric is somebody I knew from way back.

[B]

That's why you're agreeing to do literally. Well, a little bit.

[A]

It does, you know, it definitely does live in my head because Eric is a very generous person and an incredible. He's one of those people, though, who's incredible, just incredibly smart and his brain moves a mile a minute. And that is something that is, you would say, maybe My brain sort of contrasts in a certain delightful way. So anyway, he came to Seattle, I'm going to say about a year ago or maybe two years ago. And Veeves and I hadn't seen him in a long time, but we had dinner with him. And what brought him to Seattle was he was finishing up a book about this race. I think I even brought it up on TBTL because he had said that one of our listeners actually made the connection that I was talking about him. And it was about this race that, like Henry Ford and some other car makers of the day started. It was from coast to coast. It started, I believe, in New York City and ended in Seattle. And it was across the country car race. And the whole point of it was it was a marketing thing for, like, which cars are the best and essentially and Ford. Ford ends up winning it. But also, I think the story is he cheated his ass off because of course he did. It's the only bad thing you can say about Henry Ford. Right? Yeah, exactly. Right.

[B]

Maybe not the Nazi, but the anti Semite.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

You know, where one starts. Where one starts and the other ends.

[A]

I think you could describe him as a Nazi sympathizer. Right. Like he was here in the United States. But that's my understanding of it. But again, I'm no historian, which is why I shouldn't be having this issue. Better read in on the story, buddy. So the book is coming out very soon and it's called the Hardest Longest Race. And if you want to pre order it, you can. And again, it's called Henry Ford and the Cross Country Contest that Changed America by Eric Moskowitz. And so Eric has been keeping us up to date on like, kind of how the book's going. He's very excited to say that it is done now and he sent me a PDF of it. And then that was, I don't know, a couple of weeks ago. And then this weekend, Luke, there's another connection. He was hanging out with. Who is the man. I'm putting you on the spot here. And you'll never guess it off the top of your head. My apologies, but I'm going to say, stated as a question anyway, who is the man who literally knows everybody who has been on TBTL a few times, was on tbtl, I don't know, maybe about a year or two ago, trying to uncover a mystery. Mr. Davey Rothbart. Literally everybody in the world. Right? Of course. I love Davey. And apparently he is also friends with Eric. Keep in mind, I met Davey in New Hampshire way Back in the day as well, so there's some connection there. But Eric said, I was hanging out with Davey this weekend. Didn't know that you guys knew each other as well, and we were talking about you, and Davey suggested that you be one of the people who host my book event in Seattle or one of my book events in Seattle. And I immediately had the thought that I often think, which is, Davey is confusing me and Luke again. I don't think Davey would recommend me hosting a book event, but who knows? But apparently, according to Eric, that is how the conversation went down. And so Eric has a couple of dates on the calendar. One at, I think a bookstore, and one at, like, a. A brew house maybe or something like that. A tap room of some sort for like, an. In conversation with. About this. You know, the author about this book. You've done a million of these things, Luke, and you're really good at them. I have not done anything like this in my life before. I was telling my friend, our friend Phyllis about this the other day, and she said, what do you mean? You hosted that candidate forum in Bureau? And I said, yes. And it is one of the most, like, cringy memories of my adult life. It's like the.

[B]

The.

[A]

It's the example I go to when I say, stay in your lane, Walsh. Like, so I. I told Eric, like, I'm really flattered that he would think of me for this, but I said, I think my talents lie in finding the right people for you.

[B]

Like, don't pull a Susie. What do you mean, don't pull a Susie?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

The way that my mom, like, there

[A]

ain't nothing like, suit.

[B]

The way that my mom helps her children is she finds other children of hers who will help. Help the children who need the help. Well, it's like, going through it, she's like, I. That's not something I can do because that will inconvenience me, but I bet you one of your sisters could.

[A]

This is such an inconvenience, though.

[B]

Okay, let's.

[A]

Let's talk about this seriously for a minute. And if that is the feedback you have for me, then. Then I will open to that. But here's the deal. You know what these events are like. I think our listeners do. So Eric's gonna come to town, and I. I think in these. In. In this day and age, I think it's harder and harder, especially, like, he's not a major name.

[B]

So the publisher has changed a lot

[A]

over the years, and it's a lot of DIY And a lot of just like work for the author to get their name out there. And I know that he's working with his publishing company. I'm trying to see who published this, you know, one of the big ones, but it doesn't really matter. But anyway, but you just don't have the same kind of support you would have 20 years ago, I think, in something like this. And so he's doing a lot of the work and I do want to help him and he deserves to be helped. And I told him for one of these dates in late June, which I'm going to hold off on for now because I don't know know how public that part of the information is. He says he has. I don't, you know what, I won't name the person, but he has a local media savvy, local historian penciled in to do one of them. Somebody that you and I both know, Luke, who is not Canute Berger, I'll put it that way. Well, so now I'm out of guesses. I'll tell you later. You know, you know who this is. But anyway, I'm like, oh, that's perfect. Like somebody who knows the history of the Pacific Northwest and can talk about this race and how it but ended up in Seattle and will have all kinds of context and can put on a better conversation as opposed to somebody who's just getting all their information from this book. You know what I mean? I'm not a historian. I'm not a particularly smart person when it comes to the history of the Pacific Northwest or most things. And so I told Eric, I'm like, you can put me down as a, as a, you can pencil me in for one of these dates. I will be here for you and I will work to make it right. But just so you know, I have no experience doing these things. Not necessarily confident in my ability to be the right person to do this, but I will do it for you. But also, why don't you help me find the right person? And so I was starting to brainstorm and sent him some other names that he might want to think about doing with him. And I'll show up for the event. I'll be there. I want to see him and I want to support my friend. It's not like just an inconvenience for me. I don't think I'm the best person for the job. And I think that he should have the best person for the job. Job.

[B]

See, I think you'd be really good at one. I think it's not the Bureau and city council, which is an event almost uniquely designed to give you bad feelings because it's where that was a debate that you were moderating, I believe, where it's like, it's a lot to try to get a forum or what. It's a lot to try to get read in on the. On all of the potential ins and outs of the issues facing the citizens of Bureau and at that moment and the positions from these two candidates. That's. That's. That would be really hard for anybody who wasn't just, like, you know, living there and obsessing over it already. So that's. That's really hard. What this would be is you and your friend who you like talking about a particular story that at any time when you needed more explanation, you have the world's expert on it right there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, you said something about, like, you think that the best interviewer for this would be someone who understands the history of Seattle and road races and Henry Ford and isn't getting all their information from the book. I sure as hell hope that is not the standard, because most of the interviews that I do, all the information I get is from the book.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I. Now part of this is me probably reverse engineering my kind of style of interview to be like, I'm seeing my weaknesses as a strength.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But like I said, I have just for me, anyway, all of the interview stuff that I have done, I've generally come to it, come into it from the perspective of I want to find out more about this. I want to also, you know, I really do try. I read all the books and I consume all the materials when the screeners

[A]

work,

[B]

but I also don't. I'm personally never trying to show off that I somehow know more about it than the other person or know more about it than the other interviewers, because I also feel like I've listened to plenty of interviews where that happens. And as the listener to that, it's. For me, that's a little bit less. Less intriguing, less entertaining, because most of the time, the people have not. Like, for instance, everything that I know about this race across the country is what you just told me in the setup to the book. So if I come to the book event, there's a really good chance that I haven't read the book yet, or maybe I've read the book and I've got some questions in my mind. But I bet you anything that, like, you coming into that conversation from a place of, like, just wanting to know more about it and like, oh, this jumped out at me. I couldn't believe they did this thing. I think that leads to a really entertaining conversation and plenty of conversation for the people in that room. I don't think they need this huge context of like, the, you know, because if you think about it, like, if you were, let's just say a professor from the University of Washington who. This was like your specialty area. I feel like that's almost like too much information to try to fit into this conversation for the regular person who kind of shows up to it. At least that's my approach to when I do this or when I do this on the radio. Again, a lot of that is laziness because I can't or I don't want to, like, become an actual expert on these topics. But I also do think that that tends to be, what, an accessible way to have these convos. And again, you're going to be talking if you end up doing this to someone who likes you and who you like. This is set up for success. Whereas the Burien City Council is a whole other. Or whatever that was forum is a whole other kind of. Of things. So I think you should really try to move that out of your mind as a comparison.

[A]

I mean, listen, if I'm. If I'm, you know, if I. If it ends up that I'm. That I'm doing this, I will put in the work and I will do my damnedest, you know, and so. And, you know, I think I can get through without making a total ass of myself. Having said that, I don't. I don't think that this is something that I'm naturally. That I'm naturally good at or naturally drawn to the way I think people like you are. I mean, like, there's no doubt about it. Like, I do think that, like, Knuth Berger would be the perfect example of somebody who would do something like this, right? Like, he is somebody who understands history and would have some context for some of these things and to make some connections, but not, like, overwhelm the gathered audience with, like, you know, extra information just to try to razzle and dazzle, because that's not his his. So we can acknowledge that there are certain people who are going to be better at this and some people who are not going to be as good as the best. And so the fact that I've literally never done this particular type of thing before, and I'm not a spec. You know, I'm not somebody who's naturally comfortable in front of people, Eric is the type of person. And this is, these are the kinds of friends that I loved hanging out with, especially when I was a younger person in our fields. And you know, it was so exciting. It was such an exciting time. You've referenced this before. Kind of being a journalist in your early 20s and sort of, you know, feeling very scrappy and hanging out with other like minded people who are interested in the truth. Luke with a capital T. And the

[B]

industry was not, as far as we could tell, dying.

[A]

Yeah. And so, but, but what I always enjoyed about those times was being at the table, but not, not being the person who is talking at the table. I'm talking about like in a casual situation. Like I love hearing air even, you know, I love hearing. I would listen to. Honestly, Genevieve should do this. Like Genevieve would do. Would such a good job with this. Right?

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Would be amazing at this. Like I'm usually the person who's kind of quiet sitting at the dinner table listening to the adults talk and the smart people talk. And so that's kind of how I, how I see myself. But you know, but again, if I were to do it, I would put into work. I'd probably be. I've been working on the opening line. I'd say Webster's defines a car as a motorcycle with four wheels. Is that kind of how you would begin? Something like this?

[B]

I would kind of go with like the smart car. How smart is that?

[A]

E equals MC MC squared. There's a pause that he does in between somewhere in the. It's like the smallest comedic pause where

[B]

it's like you can hear his brain

[A]

trying to remember the next letter of

[B]

the free range stand up comedy or something. However he describes it, maybe we can start the show tomorrow with that.

[A]

Let me see if I can find that now.

[B]

One other thing about this though, Andrew, is you are. I admire this about you. Sometimes it makes me crazy, but I largely admire this about you is that you are very good with your boundaries. And if this is going to put a pit in your stomach for the

[A]

next solid month, right before the TBTL a thon time, I don't think you should do it.

[B]

Because if it's just gonna, if it's just gonna be the first thing when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you start to feel stress about. And I, by the way, I know what that's like too, to kind of agree to something that's months away but then just constantly have it in the back of your mind and it's just like this. Just, you know, we're getting into the nice weather. It's barbecue season. The Mariners appear to. I mean, we can. As long as we play the Houston Astros for the rest of the season, we may go undefeated. Like, we're going into a nice sweet time in the Northwest. And it would bum me out if, as you're standing over the grill having a, having a C minus, you're also just stressing about this for the next month solid. So in that if. So to that end, I would say don't do it if that's how it's going to make you feel. But I want to be on the record as saying you would do a really good job at this if you decide to do it. I think you have all of the abilities, because here's what I would say doing a thing like this, a book event, particularly with someone you're already friends with on an interesting topic like this, a car race that someone cheated at, right? It's not like a super complex philosophical principle or something, you know, it's not AI even, you know, or just something that's like impossible to wrap your mind around. It's a. It bears. I think, I think this bears a lot more similarity to what TBTL is, which is two people chatting in front of a group, you know, and the two people like helping each other with the conversation and enjoying being in the conversation. It's not adversarial. So. So I think you actually have the skills to do something like this, and I think you would be great at it. But yeah, if it's just going to be a pit in your stomach, then don't do it.

[A]

Because you do know I'm a bit of a slow reader, too. So that's why I'm just going to start reading the book tonight. In fact, just in case I end up doing this, which I know it still would be about a month and a half away because it would be at the very end of June. But you know me, I'm just a slow reader. And so I'm putting down Anna Karenina, which I started and got exactly 3% sent through so far.

[B]

I bet you this will be a

[A]

way more interesting read than Anna Karina. It actually started off way stronger than I thought. I thought it was going to be really inaccessible. But. So anyway, I will let you know, but I would encourage the listeners to check out the book when it comes out. And certainly if I am hosting this damn thing, I will let you know when and where it is because it would be nice to see some friendly faces in the crowd also supporting Eric, maybe That's the thing, too. I mean, that's the other thing about this is I wonder. I wonder if there's a little bit of a calculation of just like, okay, Andrew's not the smartest person in the world, but people will show up maybe if he asks him to. You know what I mean? And that's okay.

[B]

You want to talk about what makes me nervous? It's when I'm in the position that you're sort of wondering if you're in. And position makes it sound sort of, like, cynical. But, like, anytime when someone reaches out to me about something because they think there's a. A Luke Burbank bump, I'm like, oh, God. I'll tell you, no one knows how little of a Luke Burbank bump there is than Luke bur.

[A]

I see what you're saying. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I'm always like, like, oh, God, if this. Like, hey, if you want me to do this, I'll do it. But if you think in any way, if this. If this is. If you think it's gonna. It even. You want to know it even. It's like, this is not that, but a little to the side. You know, Coach Ben really wants. Wanted to do. We didn't do it this year, but maybe we'll do it next season. I do think at some point we should have a TBTL at the Junior Sluggers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Get together. I think it'd be really fun. I think the kids. Well, I don't know if the kids would care, but I think that the grownups would care and the tens would have fun and all that. But he had mentioned that at the beginning of the season, he's like, we can. We can do, like, we'll do special TBTL snacks at the Snack Shack and all this stuff. And you know, where my mind immediately goes. What if no one shows up? What if we put this thing out there and Coach Ben and all of the slugger parents and stuff and Becca and everyone's like, oh, this is going to be fun. This is going to be like, this is going to be a real turnout, and nobody turns out because I don't know how many listeners we have in Portland. We have, you know, few. We have a lot of listeners in Seattle, but I don't know if they want to come all the way to Portland. You know what I mean? Like, I get so uncomfortable when there's any sort of. Not that Coach Ben was doing this to try to move more snacks. Like, there was nothing about this. That was selfish. It was just. He thought oh, this would be fun to do. And like he and I talked about it. I didn't realize how soon the season was going to be over.

[A]

Is it wrapping already? Is this the weekend that it's wrapping? It's only May.

[B]

I think there's some playoffs that I need to read back into Coach Ben's last.

[A]

Yeah. Because there were three more games.

[B]

It had an asterisk, but it had an asterisk, which I think meant that maybe if they make the playoffs, there's more games. I'm not sure how that all works. I need to figure it out.

[A]

Out.

[B]

But I think these are the last regular season games. Tonight, Wednesday and then Saturday went quick, right? Yeah, but so I saw him at the 5k and I said stupidly, because in my mind I was like, well, there's still four more months of the slugger season. As if this isn't a voluntary thing that everyone's taking time out of their life to do.

[A]

Right, Right. We're not even to the All Star break yet. Are you kidding me?

[B]

Yeah, I was. So I said something like, yeah, we should, we should do that. Get together. But I literally said to him, I was like, I don't know how many people will show up. Yeah, you know, could be, could be 10, could be, could be 50. I don't know. But you know, like, I'm already trying to manage the. Like that is for me, like, it's funny because if somebody was having me or somebody was asking me to help out with an in conversation, I have an probably an overly developed confidence in my ability to do the conversation about the book. And I would be terrified of them booking too big of a room for the event with the hopes that I was going to somehow drive numbers.

[A]

That's interesting. Yeah, I mean, I think, I think that if that were the situation, but the reason I said it in this particular context is because I think these are going to be very interesting intimate events. Right. Like we're talking about. Totally. These are already going to be very small. And I just sort of meant it as like, well, if there are some listeners in the audience who listen to tbtl, they already know I'm a jackass. Like, you know, like it's kind of like the expectation is low as opposed to like, you know, the very well read elderly couple who came out from Wallingford and already have a lot of background in this story and have more of a. More of a comment sympathizers who might be coming. No. So I was just sort of like kind of picturing friendly Faces of the TBTL crew. Not like people are like, oh, we're going to move more product with this. And I guess I did sort of set it up that way. And now I'm a little embarrassed that I did. Not that like, I'm a big draw, but just that the TBTL audience has proven itself to be very supportive. You'll get a good turnout if you

[B]

do this because Lord knows we'll be talking about it leading up to it, because I'll be curious about it. And yeah, again, I, I, I, I've already, I've said what I've said. No, but I mean, I think you would be good at it. I want your takeaway from what I'm saying to be. You would be good at this, Andrew. But again, if it's going to stress you out unduly, then, then, then, then I hope you don't feel pressured. I'm trying to. I kind of did that. Sorry to rip the spotlight back over here, but I kind of did that with an event that's a year out. Basically. I'll just say it. I mean, I don't care. I helped out with that event in, in Longview the other week, you know, and it was for a place that's a, you know, provides housing for folks in Longview. Really good organization, really great people. There's a lot of work, actually, because there, that's just not something the folks at that organization do a lot and have a lot of experience with. So I kind of, A lot of it fell on me, which was fine, but I, I did it. I thought I was really glad to get to help out with this. Probably going to skip this next year because it also stressed me out.

[A]

Out.

[B]

It stressed me out because I want it to go well and it's a very important organization and I want them to raise as much as they can so they can provide as much housing and wraparound services to folks as possible. But they literally asked me the next day if I could block out May 1 next year for it.

[A]

Oh, really? And so when I said it's so far out, like, how can you that. And also, I'm washing my hair.

[B]

Yeah, well, I just said, I said, I just don't know what that's going to look like for me.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

And so I'm going to need you to. And it was, it was interesting because the, the guy who runs the organization, I really like him, but he has a, like, the only way that you can make a place like this work is if you are just willing to run through walls constantly. You know what I mean? Like, you just have to be so it's like he's sending me these messages other people at the organization are sending me. It became, it would appear, project number one to lock me in for next year, which again, again, if it sounds like this whole story is for me to pat myself on the back, I don't mean it to sound that way, but I was really, really.

[A]

Wait, can I have a quick point of clarification there? Somebody reached out from the organization, said would you do this again? And gave you a year's calendar time. And you politely said, listen, I just can't commit to that. Which I applaud that.

[B]

Well, initially I didn't respond.

[A]

Okay, because I was gonna say you said you started getting emails from other people in the organization. I wasn't sure if you had given a polite no, but then they were still thinking, well, let's just talk about.

[B]

What I got was a series of extremely nice emails from other people in the organization saying like, oh my gosh, you made that night for us. And people were, people were, there were some CBS Sunday Morning fans there who were excited, you know, and I got a bunch of very nice emails from various people which I think was both real and also strategically inclined to let me know that it would be really great if I could come help out next year.

[A]

Year.

[B]

And I was, I felt like saying yes because I didn't want to let people down. But I also knew that like for the last like two months I had a slight pit in my stomach about the event, wanting it to go well, just a bunch of things around it. And I just thought like, I'm not going to agree to do it because I, because I feel like I should because I remember what that feeling was going into it and I don't really necessarily want to sort of have that feeling next year. And then also if I can just be absolutely the, you know, if I'm going to call myself, I'm going to hold myself to sort of some transparency standards. I, I would a, I would not take money from these people to do this thing. But also not getting paid. You know, sometimes I do these. Well, I haven't done these in a while, but in years past I've done these for some very well funded organizations. You know, Fred Hutch and places like that that are both, you know, they're both nonprofits, but they're also non profits with literally millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars in there, their, in their coffers. And there is something about, like, not feeling like doing something but getting paid a significant amount of money to go do it. That really, really puts some pep in your step.

[A]

Sure, yeah.

[B]

And so somehow this idea of, like doing it pro bono, which is the only way I would do it, but then realizing it was a lot of work and then remembering that it was something that provided or created a certain amount of agita for me was just like, yeah, I'm not going to do that. And maybe that's a terrible example, but I'm just trying to, generally speaking, have some, a little bit better boundaries around agreeing to do stuff. And even for like CBS stories, there was a story that they just proposed that I passed on because the person they wanted me to profile kind of gets on my nerves.

[A]

This is not something that I know about on air, I'll tell you off

[B]

air, but it was like this thing where I just.

[A]

Canute Berger.

[B]

It's Felix Banal. No, it's nobody. It's. It's nobody that's been brought up on the show. And it's not even a person that's like in any way, like a problematic person. It's just a person who just kind of like.

[A]

I was like, vibes won't be there.

[B]

The vibes. And it would be a lot of travel. And it's like, just not like for instance, when they said, do you want to do a profile of Bridget Everett from somebody somewhere?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, does this involve me taking a red eye to New York? I'm there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Does this involve me taking a series of Ubers to Manhattan, Kansas?

[A]

Sign me up, you know? Yeah.

[B]

This is just a person who's not on that list for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so anyway, all that is to say I'm trying to, I'm trying to like, remember that when I say yes to something, it usually also comes with a certain amount of like just low level anxiety that I'm now going to be carrying and do I want that low level anxiety or high level anxiety? And so anyway, I will respect whatever your decision is. Good sir.

[A]

Now let me ask you this. Do we have time for a quick email? Because it is about. I have something here that is an email that is about facing one's fears. I love it.

[B]

Is it about Knut Berger?

[A]

It's from Knut.

[B]

Oh, that makes sense.

[A]

Ole Moss. Back every week. I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[B]

All right, let's hear an email about facing your fears.

[A]

I also sent you a visual that will go along with this email, Luke, and I'm going to play the audio from my end, but I sent you a video in case you want to watch along. This is from listener Tracy. Do you remember by any chance why we were talking about Life as a Highway?

[B]

What up, Tracy?

[A]

Do you remember we were talking about this song, Life is a Highway? It was.

[B]

We talked about the Cochrane, but covered by Rascal Flash.

[A]

Yeah, it came up on the show recently. In fact, yesterday's intro related to that as well. And I can't remember why we got on that Jag, but we did and Tracy says, heard the show where you talked about Life is a Highway. Got a story for you. Ben and I were going to our seats at a Kraken game and a gale with a. With a Kraken logo. Or I guess it says a gale with the Kraken. Stop. Gal A G, A L, G, A L. Okay, what did you think I was saying? A gale of wind?

[B]

Maybe. Maybe I wasn't. I'm not trying to mess with you. I just was really trying to clarify because there was also a glitch in the line. Okay, okay, somebody, a person with a crack in uniform or whatever.

[A]

Ben and I were going to our seats at a cracking game and a gal with the Kraken stopped us and asked us if we wanted to play a game. I said sure, thinking that the game was something we're supposed to do right at the moment. Oh, no, it was going to happen in the. The first of the second period, which I don't know enough about hockey to know what that means. Maybe that means first or the second period, I'm not sure. But the game was a guess. The lyric game. I thought, how hard could that be? I also realized I'd have to sing in front of a sold out game. Now, I love some karaoke, but this made me nervous. So we got up there to play and they asked before I go out, if I know Rascal Flats in the movie Cars, which I know nothing about. I'm now standing up high now. Let me, let me fill in some details here. So this is basically somebody said, hey, do you want to play a game during the hockey match? And Tracy said, yeah, sure. Not realizing kind of the high stakes of it. And what they're going to do is they're going to bring her out to like this crow's nest area where like the DJ sits in Climate Pledge arena high above everybody else and the spotlight is going to be on the person. And somehow this is going to be about guessing lyrics. And then Having to sing the rest of it. So it says we got up there and they asked before I go out, if I know Rascal Flatts in the movie Cars, which I know nothing about. Now I'm standing up high, visibly in front of 18,000 fans. And I'm terrified of heights. Thank God I recognize the song and I was able to guess the lyric. And I think I can play that here. This is the video that you just watched. Tracy's up there on the Jumbotron.

[B]

Yes, the Jumbotron.

[A]

Like the huge, huge Jumbotron in front of 18,000 people standing next to this DJ. She has a microphone in front of her. The DJ is holding a microphone phone. Let's go to the tape playing a song. When he stops, you're gonna have to.

[B]

That's finish the Lynx. Okay. You're off to a good start.

[A]

So if you can do that, we'll bring you back here to see Joe boy.

[B]

April 5th. Okay.

[A]

All right, let's sing. So if she is successful, they're gonna bring her back to Climate Pledge arena to. To see a concert. Joe Boyd, maybe. I don't know.

[B]

Joe Coy is a comic.

[A]

Oh, Joe Coy, okay.

[B]

He's from Tacoma originally. He had the. That He. He hosted the Golden Globes that one year where he was a last minute replacement. I think it was like the Golden Globes, so white Oscar, so white year. And they couldn't find anyone to host it. Then Joe Coy hosted it. And then I think it was. I think. I think it was the Golden Globes. And. And he ended up yelling at the crowd like, these are hard. These. I believe we talked about it on the show. But anyway, he's a comic named Joe Coy. So there are free tickets to Jo Koy to be won by. By listener. Tracy.

[A]

Let's sing in front of 18,000 people.

[B]

Tracy.

[A]

DJ side. Give him a song. Nice.

[B]

Tracy.

[A]

How great is that? I love. That was so good, right?

[B]

Yeah, that was great. That was great. I love that you could tell. Listen, Trace, I get it too. Like, you're up there, you're afraid of heights. You're on in front of 18,000 people. Maybe it's a little nervous making. But then when it came time to just belt out. And again, I know that Tracy was thinking really of Tom Cochran in her mind when she was singing that song. She was not singing the Rascal Flats version.

[A]

Here she follows up with. It was Life is a Highway by Tom Cochran. And also, I actively hate that song. I had no clue that another band covered it. It Was terrifying. I really wanted to win a Kraken gift card, but I won a comedy show instead. I'm sort of dancing like an idiot in the video. My hair was a mess, so I threw on a hat, and it made it worse, but I did it. So, anyway, thanks for sharing this.

[B]

Way to go, Trace.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Proud of you.

[A]

Exactly. And I love that you had, I'm sure, somebody in your family or a friend or your group who taped that via their cellular phone off the Jumbotron. But it really, really. It really made the story because I was, like, reading it, and I was like, okay, okay. But I wasn't quite picturing it properly until I saw that video and heard it. And also, like you said, just absolutely belted out those lyrics. Just like, I am here to do

[B]

the tune, by the way.

[A]

I mean. Yeah, exactly. And she did the thing. She's like, I'm either gonna do it or not. And so she did it. So that's.

[B]

Thank God. That, like, thank. Because, you know, if, like, do you know Rascal Flats? Do you know the movie Cars? It's like, think about all the songs that it could have been that. That Tracy would not have known the lyrics to. Like, thank God that was a cover.

[A]

Yes. Right.

[B]

Because, you know what I mean? Like, that was what saved. What saved Tracy was that. That was a cover of a song that was also popular all on its own.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I mean? Because that could have been a lot worse. Like, it was just kind of like some other Rascal Flat song, and then she just can't sing any of the lyrics. I mean, that would have been mortifying.

[A]

But, no, she went for it, I guess. I guess that. That's what happens if you lose that game, though. They must play like a. Like a sad trombone sound or something if you don't.

[B]

What I would say is God bless the broken Road that brought Tracy to that song, which, by the way, is also a Rascal Flat song.

[A]

I was gonna say. Could you name another Rascal Flat song?

[B]

God bless the broken Road that brought me home to you, I believe is some. Some version of a song by them anyway. Well, way to go, Tracy. I will. I look forward to hearing how this whole thing shakes out with the book.

[A]

Also.

[B]

That book sounds really interesting. Now, would you be offended if we. We also end up having that guy on Livewire?

[A]

Oh, my God. Would you consider having Eric on Livewire?

[B]

Well, I would, except for I don't think the timing works because our Last show is June 4th, and then we don't come back until August. So I don't know how the timing on that would work, but I bet

[A]

you'd be happy to do it at any time. I think he's really out there hustling on this, and it really is an amazing story. Like, he told us about it over dinner a year or two ago. So that would actually be really cool. That would make me feel like a good friend. Even though it was your idea. Idea. Just. That's what I mean. Like me knowing you and knowing him and then that happening because of that, that would make me feel very good because I do want to do. I want to do him a solid, you know?

[B]

Huh. Absolutely. Well, we'll see how this all plays out. Thank God we'll be talking about whatever goes on in our life five days a week for the foreseeable future. So this is where you'll hear all of that here on tbtl. All right, we're done for today, but we are going to be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. In the meantime, have a great, great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves, Mariners. Keep it going. Keep it going. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[A]

And good luck to all. Power out.