#4732 This American Airlines

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #4732: "This American Airlines"

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Date: May 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

Today’s TBTL meanders through the joys and absurdities of daily life, from airline seating decisions gone awry and the perils of notification overload, to Little League baseball heroics and listener birthday wishes. Luke checks in from Chicago, prepping for a special "Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me!" recording, while Andrew’s Cleveland Browns fandom remains unwavering. The show’s tone is playful and self-deprecating as the pair riff on notification sounds, air travel quandaries, email spam, and sponsor their beloved TBTL Jalapeños little league team through an epic season recap.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Technological Follies: The Mysterious "Bing"

• Notification Nonsense
  • Luke and Andrew open with a running gag about trying to trigger notification sounds ("bings") on Luke’s laptop by sending emails and texts.
  • Andrew cheekily admits, “I was trying to troll you, but it’s become an experiment..." (04:24)
  • Luke deduces the sound isn’t from emails but likely from text messages, leading to hijinks about muting Andrew:

    "Oh, I have you personally muted." — Luke (06:26)

• Meta Commentary:
  The segment showcases their playful chemistry and penchant for low-stakes chaos, emblematic of TBTL's signature humor.

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2. Air Travel Agony: Luke’s American Airlines Saga

• Choosing the Middle Seat
  • Luke shares his dilemma of picking between an aisle in the back row and a middle seat in the front row of coach.
  • He ultimately regrets choosing “the first class of coach”—the front-row middle seat—due to less legroom and feeling boxed in:

    "I think I made the wrong decision." — Luke (11:13)

• Travel Logistics:
  • LAX’s American terminal receives special scorn for its labyrinthine layout:

    "You're at the beginning of what is probably a 1.5 mile walk up escalators, down escalators, tunnels, around and around you go." — Luke (20:12)

• Observing Fellow Passengers:
  • Luke narrates with amusement the contrast between his expectations and the reality of his seatmates, including an attorney “in sweats and a chain” and “a Laura Dern vibe” window seat companion.
  • Andrew imagines a meet-cute with the attorney and a woman in first class, but Luke clarifies it was likely his wife reunited after the flight (28:10-29:22).

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3. Spam, Nextdoor, & Neighborhood Internet Drama

• Nextdoor Nuisances
  • Both hosts bemoan being suddenly spammed by Nextdoor notifications, despite having moved away from their old neighborhoods.
  • Luke on Nextdoor’s content:

    “It's mostly people complaining about other people's driving.” (15:28)

  • Andrew laments the manipulative email opt-outs and shifting “engagement” definitions (14:37-14:58).

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4. Little League Update: The TBTL Jalapeños

• Coach Ben’s Epic Recap
  • The show features a dramatically detailed update from Coach Ben, highlighting the Junior Sluggers’ season:
    • Multiple thrilling game summaries and standout individual performances (esp. Zaya and Crosby's pitching heroics: e.g., “13 strikeouts, one walk”)
    • The team finishes regular season at 6–7 and enters a double-elimination tournament (45:05-46:43).
  • Coaches and sponsors reflect on the philosophy of Little League, with Ben declaring:

    “This is what Parkside Little League is about… giving kids the opportunity to play baseball and the tools to find success and fun in the sport.” (38:57)

• Running Gags:
  • Andrew and Luke delight in team names (e.g., “Hollywood Rose City Flying Chicken Nuggets”) and music for the updates, riffing on old-timey baseball tropes (34:07-34:25).

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5. Mariners (and Seahawks) Hot Takes

• Seattle Mariners Manager Drama

  • Both hosts debate Dan Wilson’s fit as manager, referencing a controversial mound visit mistake and past managerial mishaps.

    “...the man who is managing the baseball team doesn’t know the rules of baseball. It was rough.” — Andrew (31:34)

  • Luke and Andrew admit to avoiding games when work calls, and to subtle fan superstitions about workload and team success.

• Spicy Listener Request:

  • Dazzling Donor Chris requests “spicy Mariners or Seahawks hot takes;” hosts deliver with a candid analysis of Mariners’ shortstop J.P. Crawford’s skill set and musings about Seahawks “Hard Knocks” curse effects (57:17–69:17).

    “No offense, [Crawford]’s the worst fielding shortstop in Major League Baseball.” — Luke (66:13)

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6. Meta Glasses & 'Creep Glasses' Discourse

• Creep Tech?
  • Andrew broaches the topic of Meta’s Ray-Ban smart glasses being dubbed “creep glasses.”
  • Luke defends his rare (but not public) use, noting the design includes a white LED to signal when recording (35:53-36:22).

    “If there’s a bright light shining from them, they’re recording. So just be on the lookout.” — Luke (37:25)

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7. Community and Listener Love: Dazzling Donors & Blursdays

• Dazzling Donor Shoutouts
  • Chris in Kirkland prompts a needle-moving, radio-nerd nostalgia riff on VU meters and the Herbie Hancock “Headhunters” album cover (53:05-56:58).
  • Peter and Sherry Cobb from Port Townsend share their “TBTL story,” evoke Seattle neighborhood nostalgia, and broadcast good wishes to the community (69:30–73:28).
• Blursday Messages
  • Enthusiastic birthday/anniversary shoutouts to listeners and their families, including a “graduation” from a TBTL 5 to a 10 for listener Tevyn (76:55–79:35).

    “All I can say is a hearty jalapeño. Congratulations, Tev.” — Andrew

  • Listener Sherry’s gift of the board game “Wingspan” and “backyard bird” love inspires warm community vibes, while another listener celebrates 62 years with a Glengarry Glen Ross memory.
• Running TBTL Jokes:
  • Listeners are referred to by “tens” (longtime inside joke); Andrew expresses joy at minor details: “That is such a dazzling detail” (32:35).

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8. Podcasting Life, Bumps & Behind-the-Scenes

• Luke’s grab-bag of notification sounds, tech mishaps, and forgotten soundboards is a recurring thread, painting an endearing, chaotic portrait of podcast production on the road.
• On episode output:

  “...that’s how we can do TBTL five days a week.” — Luke (51:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sitting in the Middle Seat:

  “... it's been years since I've been at the way back of the plane...I could be in the very front row of coach...But I would be in a middle seat. And for some reason I ultimately opted for middle seat. Front of coach. I think I made the wrong decision.” — Luke (11:13)

• On Nextdoor Emails:

  “For people who felt like they weren’t getting enough of that on Facebook, let me tell you about Nextdoor.” — Luke (16:37)

• On Little League Triumphs:

  “For the first time in my three years of sending in these reports, I can finally say that one of my teams has beaten a squad from the Hollywood Road City.” — Coach Ben (40:38)

• Deadpan Sponsor Plug:

  “Now you have a friend in the diamond business.” — Both, multiple times, mimicking classic radio ads (02:46, etc.)

• On Team Names:

  “If Andrew, if you knew how many of the Junior Sluggers have handlebar mustaches and are nicknamed Lefty, you would know just how appropriate this music is.” — Luke (34:07)

• Concluding Wisdom:

  “Alright, we didn’t get the cars for kids today, but that’s fine. We can talk about it tomorrow, probably.” — Luke (81:55)

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Essential Timestamps

• 00:00–04:46 — Notification/Bing experiment & show open (tech chaos and playful banter)
• 09:19–29:22 — Airplane seat saga, LAX, and seatmate observations (travel theme)
• 11:13 — Regret about the seat decision
• 14:13–17:18 — Nextdoor/spam complaints and social media philosophy
• 34:07–46:43 — Extended Little League update with Coach Ben’s highlights
• 57:17–69:17 — Mariners/Seahawks hot takes (including J.P. Crawford discussion)
• 69:30–73:28 — Dazzling Donor spotlight: Peter & Sherry Cobb’s TBTL community story
• 76:55–79:35 — Blursday (birthday/anniversary messages for listeners & families)

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In Summary

This TBTL episode is classic podcaster comfort food: affable banter on the silly and the serious, meta-commentary on daily life, low-stakes technical foibles, sports fandom, and the joys of listener community. Whether you’re here to hear about a Little League triumph, the pitfalls of modern air travel, or just need a laugh at notification chaos, Luke and Andrew deliver with warmth and self-awareness.

Power Out.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

2064-1482-8521-0641-48285. We're calling tbtl. Hey, dummies. We're calling tbtl. Hey, dummies. We're calling tbtl. Hey, dummies.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl. Now you tell us a little about yourself.

[Luke Burbank]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.

[Andrew Walsh]

I like to wear bright socks, and I'm an avid Cleveland Browns fan.

[Luke Burbank]

And we've become great friends. I mean, close. We'll just sit in the front room and we'll sit there. He'll walk. He'll go to the front door, kind of knock on the door and then sit down. Then I'll sit. Then he stands, and he's out in the front. Then he'll come in. We just sit there, and he'll stand and I'll sit. And then I stand and you sit. And then we're both looking at each other and we're just nodding like a couple of nodders, Right? All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. This is what happens when an inside joke gets into the water supply. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. The man or beast that I run

[Andrew Walsh]

from ain't been born and its mama's already dead.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you today from Chicago, Illinois, the windy City. Today, the, let's see, kind of cloudy city. I have a feeling it might burn off by afternoon. I'm here to do. Wait, wait, don't tell me. This week, the final week, where our friend Bill Curtis will be the announcer. So it'll be a fun, interesting night of recording, I'm sure, with lots of nostalgia and special guests and things like that. But here we are in Chicago. We have the, of course, the. The distinct honor of presenting you episode 4732 in a collector series. I just realized I've kind of got a little road bell here. Let me do that again. It's episode 4732. Wait, why did that not go? Try it again. Episode 4732. Did my little sound effects box break? I am so glad that I got all this out of my system before I was doing. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Tonight. Anyway, it's episode 40. Thank you, magical sound drop fairy who lives in the sky and has not yet been identified on the program. We appreciate you wherever you may be. Anyway, here's what we're going to talk about on the program today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now you Have a friend in the diamond business.

[Luke Burbank]

It's episode 40,000 4732 in a collector series. You know those cars for Kids ads. 1877 Cars for Kids.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you're not going to be hearing them in California in the near future because they have been banned for certain reasons. We'll talk about that. Speaking of kids and fantasy, the TBTL Little League team, Jalapeno, the TBTL Jalapenos, the Junior Sluggers, they're still playing. They're still playing meaningful baseball in mid May. That was Coach Ben emailing me the update right now. We're going to bring that to you on the program. And also it's a Thursday, AKA blurs day, so we'll do some birthday messages. If you've noticed, we have different sound effects this week than some of the usual ones that we play. Of course, we always play Tom Shane saying let the fun begin. But this week we're going with now

[Andrew Walsh]

you have a friend in the diamond business.

[Luke Burbank]

And for our blurs day messages, we're playing Tim and Eric. That's because of course I forgot to bring my computer and Andrew has most of the drops that, that I have in my computer, but not all of them, including the birthday drop that I usually play and the Tom Shane drop that I usually play. But we're, we're muddling through. We're making it happen here on a Thursday. Speaking of my good pal, the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships, not maybe best known for his good opinion having. Every time you've offered an opinion, you've been wrong. He is Andrew Walsh and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I was running a little experiment, sort of. Well, that's not true. That's generous. I was trying to troll you, but it's become an experiment because I sent you an email like, I swear like 40, 45 seconds ago. Now it's like 47. Now it's like 50 seconds ago to see if I could make your computer make that Bing sound.

[Luke Burbank]

That did and I said that, I said that. Was Coach Ben emailing me?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that was before I, before I sent mine. I heard that and it gave me the idea to start trolling you and I was going to make your computer go crazy during your intro. So after that happened, I sent you an email with a subject line Bing. And I was hoping to hear it Bing on the air. Have you received the Bing and why didn't it make a noise?

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? I think I'm learning? Oh, no, I don't think the Bing comes from me receiving an email on this new computer that I don't really know how to control the notification sounds on. I think it's when I get a text message.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so I think it's unrelated. The good thing I don't have your phone number.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I've changed it recently. I changed it earlier this morning.

[Andrew Walsh]

Explained. So actually, let's do it.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? Just for the sake of. Just honestly to satisfy my curiosity, why don't you text me right now?

[Andrew Walsh]

All right. Could you give me your number? What is it again?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's 555. How are we still? I know this has come up on the show multiple times, but in this day and age where phone numbers are so sort of cheap, I guess you could say, you know, I mean, with Google voice and things like that, like, it isn't like the old days of Ma Bell, when, you know, movies famously and TV shows would put like the. That fake phone number in Nowadays. I'm guessing that we've long since left the range of the 555 trope.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, you would. The move would be create a distinct number for your movie or TV show and then just have it be something

[Andrew Walsh]

that plays an outstanding.

[Luke Burbank]

Plays an outgoing message, like, hey, like, and subscribe on Netflix or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's really interesting. That's interesting because I thought you were going to say that.

[Luke Burbank]

I would say I received your text

[Andrew Walsh]

and I did not. Still didn't hear a Bing. I don't know what's going on. You received both the email and the text at the this point, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I have you personally muted.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what it is. Oh, that's probably what it is.

[Luke Burbank]

The only person I was able to

[Andrew Walsh]

figure out because I'm too positive on the sports text chain. I actually missed that game yesterday. It was a day game and there was a moment where I could have turned it on, but I was actually TC being some TBTL stuff that we needed to do. I don't know if you ever TCB tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I was like, you know what? They may win, they may lose, but I'm finally in a groove on a project that I had sort of just, you know, I hadn't been putting it off. It's not onerous, but it's just like one of those things where you're sitting. Sitting down, you're getting work done, you're actually getting Work done. Oh, was that my baby?

[Luke Burbank]

Was that. That would be a really bad system if. Let's see here. What do I got coming in here? This is good.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is it?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, is it only fans here?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm gonna hit you up on OnlyFans.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Okay. DM me on OnlyFans. Slide into my feet pics.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So here's the crazy thing. I'm looking at my computer and I have your Bing email from now four minutes ago. Finally, Bing. Getting the promotion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the noise again? Okay, here. I just sent the only fans. Okay. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

That tells me I'm making more money. That's every time a direct deposit goes into my only fans account, that's the sound I get. Okay. And then I have your text, your Bing text, which is two minutes ago. So in other words, that sound effect,

[Andrew Walsh]

it is connected to the email or

[Luke Burbank]

not, but not like in real time. You know what I mean? There's no way that, like, I should be getting that little chime sound, that little. Whatever we're going to call it, two to four minutes after the message has landed in either my email or my. My text message function. So it's one of those two things. But it's clearly struggling. Like, that's almost. I don't know, that seems like it's kind of pointless if it's giving you that kind of little message that late. I mean, that's forever in this digital world we live in.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. That seems like a lifetime. That is absolute lifetime. Were we talking about something before that Bing went off? I'm trying to think. Were we actually trying to make a point on something?

[Luke Burbank]

Am I really, Honestly, I feel out of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't go to bed super late last night. Didn't wake up super late today. I don't know what's going on, but I feel like you and I were just talking about something. I felt like we were just starting to get some traction on something and now I don't know what it was.

[Luke Burbank]

The possibility of binging me?

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you did say that you did not watch the Mariners game.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. No.

[Luke Burbank]

That takes care of some business.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was just sort of like, I could turn this on. It could be a disappointment, we could win. But also, I'm just getting stuff done. And it was a middle of the day game and I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to keep going. And I made the right decision. I'm glad the Mariners won. I was looking for some post game coverage to listen to this morning. I actually could only still Find people complaining about the game before, but yeah, I think I made the right decision. But go Mariners. And now they have a day off and now they play the Royals again. Luke, next, next game tomorrow.

[Luke Burbank]

I sort of had. I had a little bit of a similar experience, except I was taking care of no business. I was sitting in the middle seat on an American Airlines flight going from Los Angeles to Chicago. I am not a high status American Airlines person. I'm a medium status with them because some amount of my Alaska stuff carries over. They're part of the same. I believe it's called One World Alliance. I think Illuminati alliance was taken, so they had to go with One World.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly like the One World alliance is freaking everybody's uncle out. Everybody's Facebook uncle is freaking out about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Andrew, you just got to look at the money.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, sure, follow it.

[Luke Burbank]

If you follow it and then if you literally look at the hundred dollar bill, you will see a picture of the CEO of Alaska Airlines take a

[Andrew Walsh]

dollar bill out of your wallet. Look at the eyeball in the middle of the pyramid. Just. Are you staring at it? I need you to keep on staring at it.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now say the words.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a waterfall. Now it turns into a waterfall. Something Andrew could never see at the mall as a kid.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that was a. That was a magic eye joke. I didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

That was a guy joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Joke that I didn't get.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I tried to kind of blend the two and I don't think very successfully. Maybe send me another email. We'll see when it dings. That seems to be the best content we have today. No, I, I was kind of. I was, I was, I was trying to decide of, for me what would be the best of a couple of not particularly great options yesterday in terms of my flight, which was I could be at the very, very back of the airplane in the way back, but in an aisle seat, but in the way, way back where, you know, things are. Let me just be honest with you, Andrew. It's been years since I've been at the way back of the plane. And so I thought, am I. Or I could be in the very front row of coach, as I often call that the first class of coach. But I would be in a middle seat. And for some reason I ultimately opted for middle seat. Front of the coach. Front of coach. I think I made the wrong decision.

[Andrew Walsh]

It wasn't terrible question about that seat way in the back. And you might have said this, but it was window and was. It was aisle and Was there an empty seat in the middle?

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no, no. That would have been a no brainer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, I anything like back of the plane. But an empty seat between the two of you? Not me.

[Luke Burbank]

That was for some reason next door, which I don't even remember ever signing up for.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where do you. Yeah, I was going to say where? The Chicago one, the LA one, The one where you live.

[Luke Burbank]

Alabama Hill one. It's the Burbank Springs neighborhood. And I don't think I even. I mean, let me put it this way. I don't remember ever signing up for Nextdoor. I certainly didn't sign up recently. But guess what? In the last like two months I get so many updates about what is going on. Allegedly in the old neighborhood of Bellingham, Washington where I used to live. That's Alabama Hill, Burbank Springs broadcast center. And I have a feeling that they changed their permissions. Something changed. I'm not a big next door guy anyway, I'm not probably quite as against it as you are, but I'm also not. It's not something I seek out in the world. And I promise you I did not go. Hey, could you give me more updates about my old house that I don't own anymore?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know you make me cry two times a week.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got an email. Cry because you missed the house.

[Luke Burbank]

The house, the equity, the swimming pool, the dog.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was in the house. It was the equity.

[Luke Burbank]

The call is coming from inside the equity.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I think you're right though, because I have a Nextdoor account I think I signed. Let's see here. It must have been when I moved into. I don't know if it's associated with this address or another one, but I know I created it. When we lost. Was it Bingo or Banana? Some cat.

[Luke Burbank]

You didn't lose Bingo.

[Andrew Walsh]

You didn't lose Bingo never been. Bingo has never been lost. Right. He never.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, gone to the yard once, but I believe returned quickly, if I'm remembering.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think that. No, I don't even think he did. I think what happened was we thought he was. And he ended up being under the sink. But I do think that maybe I signed up for it in that panicky moment or something because I feel like the only time I sign up for that thing is when I. When I'm missing a pet. I know I didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Could have been in Wallingford when. I think you had two missing cats, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. But the thing is, did it follow me around? Maybe that's what it did. Maybe it Followed me around and asked me to update at some point. And I did it for whatever reason, even though I honestly don't, like, I'm not lying, like, I don't really go on it much, but in the past month, like, that is associated with an email address that I only use for sort of like, you know, kind of spammy stuff. And I don't really use it for much in my personal life. And so every now and then I'll. I'll creak that door open like, DFTB style and I'll see what's in there. And it's just like, oh, I got put on this list. Or I bought pants from some company that uses a V instead of a U. And now I'm getting tons of emails from them. And you sort of see how permissions change, because I recently had to finally tell Nextdoor to go piss off because I had hundreds of those too. And you're right, I think they changed something.

[Luke Burbank]

Something, because I'm sure what happened was their. Their growth was not keeping up with Wall street expectations or something in terms of, you know, how the engagement they were getting. And so I'm sure that they went in and much like gerrymandering, instead of just doing better and getting more people, they went in to redrew the district lines of who they're emailing. And all of a sudden they put me on the list of people who are now engaged with their content, even though I never asked them to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or they changed what the engagement was like. What they do is they have you when you get those, sometimes they'll say, click here to unsubscribe. And if you're not really careful, you're just unsubscrib subscribing for one type of email that they send, like neighborhood updates versus neighborhood alerts or something like that. And so what they can do is create a new category that you haven't actively opted out of.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, they did something exactly along those lines. Because in the last, like two months, all of a sudden, multiple times a day, I'm getting updates about my old neighborhood. And what I will say is it is as unhinged as you always said it was. And there's something about not living in the area that just really lays bare kind of how it is, I think, really sort of one of the worst corners of the Internet now because it's. It's mostly people complaining about other people's driving, as far as I can tell.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. It's not. I know that you're. You're the thing you're down on is when it's. It's used as a way to sort of surveil people who, quote, unquote, don't look like they belong here, whatever that exactly means. This seems to more be people just mad about people's driving habits.

[Andrew Walsh]

You mean like driving too fast down their residential street?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even click on the stuff because I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to praise the machine, but I will just see a little preview of what people are posting about. And again, it seems like it's often. It seems like it's often people complaining about how someone was driving or like sometimes it'll be like, you know, lost dog or something, which obviously your heart goes out to them. But it just, it almost seems to me like for people that think Facebook is too nuanced and too fact based and too like, you know, it makes Facebook look like blue sky. You know what I mean? It's like the people that, that, that, that want to be even more fearful, more confused and more. Whatever it is. I associate with a lot of Facebook posts, which is why I'm not really on Facebook. For people who felt like that they weren't getting enough of that on Facebook. Let me tell you about next door.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's who was dinging me, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's who was dinging. But wait, we're on the airplane still, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, we're on the airplane.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're on the airplane. I've chosen middle seat, middle se in the back. It would have been aisle, but you would have had two passengers in that row with you.

[Luke Burbank]

Two passengers in the row. And also like, you know, potentially some amount of getting up and letting people through, which I don't really mind per se, but like, just kind of felt like I was just going around and around and around with this. Like, is it, is it better to have. I think it was Shakespeare who said, is it better to have satith in the front row of coach where if there is allegedly more legth room, or to suffer the slings and arrows of row 31, but to be upon the aisle.

[Andrew Walsh]

How did you memorize that? I mean, I had that memorized at some point in like high school. But you remember that. I am impressed.

[Luke Burbank]

You do, word for word.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I guess you could say the error in my calculation was this was not an Alaska Airlines aeroplane. So I am at this point, sadly, you might say, very familiar with the layout, the footprint, the what happens on one of Those Alaska, Boeing, you know, they're all the same kind of airplane, but each airline might configure their thing slightly differently. And so usually if you're in the front row of coach on an Alaska flight, you've got a good amount of legroom and it's. It's pretty nice. I mean, that's what I'm always sort of hoping for if I'm not going to maybe be in first class. That was not the deal on the American Airlines flight. They have a real hard barrier kind of going between first class and us, the hoi polloi in coach. So it's a little more permeable on Alaska, which is its own kind of a bummer. Because what it really means is that, like, I'm a little kid in a Christmas tale from the 1920s with my nose pressed up against the glass, fogging up the window of the store, looking at the presents I'll never be able to get. Like, I'm sitting there in coach, but I'm watching them come and take very good care of all the people that are one row ahead of me in the back of first class and bringing them out their food and their drinks

[Andrew Walsh]

and their smelling their peanuts. Like your. Yours is like, can I get a free.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, can I. Buddy? Can you spare a sniff?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

But can I smell your peanut breath real quick? So in this case, it wasn't that. It's like, it's like a major. You know, there's a pretty serious barrier. And the problem was because I was in the middle seat, I didn't really have the ability to extend my feet because there were some kind of. There's some kind of crazy hydraulics mechanism underneath the first class seats for all that comfort that they have up there. And so it obstructed my ability to actually, I couldn't really, like, stretch my legs out fully, which was the reason I had gone up to first class or, excuse me, up to the front of coach. And so I was. I kind of rude. I was ruing my decision. And then the other reason I was ruing my decision was because the person to the left of me appeared to maybe he was an attorney or something, because I noticed that he was doing a lot of, like, looking up legal briefs and going into California Superior Court and honestly, doing a lot of stuff on the computer I don't think I was supposed to see. Yeah, but I was, listen, you can't stop me from looking's free. Touching will cost you. So I was like, checking out. There was some kind of a. I Couldn't tell if it was civil or criminal. But I think his law firm was representing a liquor store in San Bernardino. Had some stuff. I mean, by the way, I'm looking at publicly available court documents, just so people know, just so our many lawyers named.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, listen, I will say I still think it's on that person, not you. I mean, I guess it's on you saying it publicly here, but, like, whatever. This person needs one of those screens on their laptop that makes it so you can't see it from the side.

[Luke Burbank]

Again, I don't think he was doing anything sensitive in his defense. Also, lawyers can look like anything today, Andrew. I'm talking about anything. This guy. I get to the row. First of all, I was somehow very late to board the flight, which was. I could just go for hours and hours about this, but there is this. I've taken this American Airlines flight a handful of times now because I've been in Los Angeles but needed to come to Chicago. And that's just the most efficient way to do it. And it is in this part of LAX that is crazy. Like, you get to the American Airlines terminal, you check in, and then you are at the beginning of what is probably a 1.5 mile walk up escalators, down escalators, tunnels, around and around you go. I mean, it is a very, very far distance to the point where when I got to the. After you and John and I ended our kind of brief business boys meeting and I ran through the airport, I still was like, they were boarding group. Like, actually, it was really funny. They were boarding group 8 at that point. Right. Which is pretty much everybody. Like, I mean, how many more groups are there? So I jump in and I was, I think, in technically in Group 2 because I have some status, but not a lot there. The flight, the. The woman, the person working the gate stopped a woman who was with Group 9 who was trying to board. And at that point I thought, my God, bring me. You're tired. Your huddled masses yearning to be free.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, let the group eight don't even care. The eights don't care.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I was effectively an 8, was a California 9.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, you got to stay away from the Chicago 6. Stay away from the sevens, though. They're scary because. 7, 8, 9.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. That's what I've heard. I was just like. I was like. I mean. And by the way, this person was in front of me. So if you think about it, I had the most to gain from her being kicked out of the boarding because it was technically delaying me by one person. But, like, it's that point where the entire Jetway is just a standstill. Like, yeah, let everybody in. Who cares? Like, so all that is to say I. When I finally boarded and I'm getting up to the thing, the two people, the woman who was in the window seat and the guy who was in the aisle seat had both already taken their seats here on the front row of coach. And the guy is like, he's just kind of in sweats and a T shirt, and he kind of has on these. He was kind of a hip dude. He sort of had maybe like a bit of a. He had a chain, you know, he was wearing. And he had some of those. I have basically decided that I am done ever buying a new style of sunglasses that isn't a Ray Ban Wayfarer. I just. I just. I've just locked in to what my thing is. But he had, like, cool sunglasses on, which are basically sunglasses that used to be popular in the 90s. I think you know what I'm talking about. You know how just like, well, do

[Andrew Walsh]

I know about this kind of thing that people do or do I know about these particular kind of sunglasses?

[Luke Burbank]

I guess I just meant more generally that the cool. The cool sunglasses wasn't me. This has been another driving incident on Alabama.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're not going to turn it off, you got to actually tell us what it is. What was that?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, we've narrowed it down. It's email based. Andrew. It's email based. Okay, we know that much. It was an email about. It's from one of the producers of. Wait, wait, don't tell me. And it has to do with my bluff. My bluff the listener story. And that's all I'm gonna say because. Oh, God, I'm getting rich over here. That's my only fans. It's an email from a. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Producer. A conversation around the bluff the listener game. And that's all I'm going to say because I don't want to ruin anything on Saturday. People. Some people can be a bit annoyed with me when I give away too much information about the game.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Now we know there's going to be a bluff the listener. Thanks, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, precisely. And you could win any of our voices on your voicemail line.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, how's that going? Have you gotten more requests?

[Luke Burbank]

I haven't in a long time. I might have done, like, in 20 years of doing that show, I might have done two of them or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

I remember it was sort Of a thing with you. For a little bit, your feeling was a little bit hurt, but then a 10, I think won and had you do it, right? Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. My feelings weren't. I think what it was was a confirmation of where I am on the food chain there, which is fine. Or not on the food chain, but what I occupy in the minds of the listeners or where am status is with them, which is, of course, the status is you want Paula Poundstone, you want a Morocco, you want a Bill Curtis, you'll take a Peter Sagal if it's the only thing left. You might accept a Luke Burbank, but nobody's like, no one's going into that store hoping they have tons of Luke Burbank in stock. They've moved through the aisle. Everything else is gone. And they're like, all right, okay, you know what? This is fine. I'll take a look.

[Andrew Walsh]

To quote a friend of ours, they're sifting around that ashtray outside of Teddy's just looking for like, well, I can. I can still smoke a little bit of this Luke Burbank, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely. Anyway, all that is to say, when I saw this fellow who I think turned out to be a lawyer, he looked so casual and also was pretty sweaty. I think he also had to jog to get to. There's. This is the main problem with how this American airlines terminal is set up. Everyone is sweaty on the plane because nobody realized how far it was going to be. Nobody realized they were doing half of a 5k to get to the actual gate. And so everyone is a little. A little, like, you know, a little sweaty, a little disoriented. Nobody's getting to that gate thinking that went how I expected. So anyway, this guy's kind of sitting there. He looks also like he might have had a little bit of a night the night before. Just kind of seemed, you know, just slightly out of sorts. Again, he kind of had his cool guy sunglasses, like, up on his head, had his chain going. And then he gets up and lets me through, and I'm just kind of like, huh, I wonder what this is going to be like. Because again, I'm not usually in the middle. The woman on the window was very poised. She looked a lot like Laura Dern.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

If it wasn't Laura Dern, I would have noticed that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sitting up straight, though, Right? Because Laura Dern sits up straight, tall, thin, great posture. Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

And, like, powerful Laura Dern vibes. In fact, she said before the plane took off, she said, oh, my gosh, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom before this flight because then I don't have to deal with it. I said, sure. And I started to get up. She goes, no, no, no, don't just kind of scooch back. And she was so Laura Derny that she just sashayed her way out of the row by nimbly stepping over my legs and getting up and out without even needing me to move.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what I thought you were gonna say? I thought she was gonna say, I need to go to the bathroom. And then you said, I'll get up for you. And then she said, no, no, I'll just take care of it here. And then just let loose. I thought, that's more Bruce Dern vibes

[Luke Burbank]

in the movie Nebraska.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. In the movie everything. Every move. In the movie.

[Luke Burbank]

The burbs.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, I. I'm sitting down, and I don't have much more of a story about this flight other than everybody was pretty chill. I was a little surprised that the guy sitting next to me turned out to, I believe, be an attorney. I don't know why. I guess I assume attorneys will be dressed in business business casual or business formal at all times. I also think. I'm pretty sure. And this actually makes me, like, this guy. This makes me want to retain his services. I believe his wife or girlfriend was in first class. Okay. And because when we got off the plane, he was looking up into first class and kind of smiling and laughing and like he was having a conversation with someone. I thought, well, this is weird because we've had no interaction with the fancy people. And then as we got off the plane, he was with a woman, and there was a very cute, like, toy poodle that she had clearly brought on the flight. And. And then I saw them waiting at the baggage carousel, and I never saw this woman or this dog. They were not behind us on the flight. And so what I think happened was they had one first class seat between the two of them and. And she took that first class seat and he sat in coach and did his law man stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, by the way, that's. No, I don't like this narrative, by the way. I like the narrative that he is the smoothest pickup artist you have ever seen, and you witnessed something amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

You witnessed way better.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is a hella flirt. And he started making eyes at the lady with the poodle on the plane, and then they were together by the time they got to the baggage pickup.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be an incredibly suave move. It is the only Reason I think it would be hard is because, like I said, they had a real serious barrier between us and those folks up there. Otherwise. And also, this guy never got up. I was wondering. It was a sort of unspoken battle between me and him who was gonna have the more iron bladder. And I just took it as like, well, if he's not gonna get up and use the bathroom, I'm not gonna get up and use the bathroom.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. Middle seat. That's the whole thing. Middle seat, yeah. Yeah. So I was sort of waiting. If he gets up, then I'll take advantage of that moment.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. But if not. And I actually didn't have to go particularly bad, so it was all right. But, yeah, I like that story. I like the idea that he complimented her on the poodle. They sort of had an unspoken attraction, and then by the time we got to the baggage claim, they were sharing

[Andrew Walsh]

a life together, betrothed. They're married now. I love this.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. They found a chaplain at o' Hare Airport. I'm sure there's one wandering around most times. And they managed to do that. So, yeah, anyway, that was the flight out here. But what I was. Also the point of that whole dang story was I had a very come see, come saw relationship with that Mariners game, which was we were leading by a little bit, but then we weren't playing so well and I was texting on the chain. I'm agreeing with you, by the way, what you've been saying for a while, including last season, that our guy, Dan Wilson, sweet guy, though he may be one time Minnesota Gopher, may not have the greatest managing mind of all of the baseball managers. And I was feeling that way yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was it when he walked out onto the field for a second mound visit and the ump said to tell him, that's not the rule. You're not allowed to go out there a second time. And so he couldn't switch out the pitcher in the middle of a game.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know that happened, but I. Oh, you did.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you weren't locked in on that game? No. That's why the game a couple of days ago, that quote, unquote, piggyback. The piggyback game is just like. It is the talk of the. Like, literally, I've been Eileen. It was like. It was. With all. I will say this with all respect, it was like when Kurt Cobain died and I was just glued to any kind of media possible for updates for like 48 hours. That's what it's been like for me. And what happened on the field on Tuesday, it was. It was incredible as far as mismanagement was concerned. And that was just on the pitching side, like, there's what. What happened on the offense that. That's a little bit less on Dan. Although the splatoon thing is also just batshit crazy. But anyway, yeah, no, at one point, it finally, like, it was just like, the world is calling for his head, sort of. Except people still love him as a person, but, like, there's no ambiguity about it now. There's no. And it really. If there was any question about it, the fact that he went to pull a pitcher in, the umpire was, like, in the middle of a game, said, no, you can't do that. You just had a mound visit. Like, do you not know? And so he had to, like, humbly walk back to the dugout. The manager, baseball team, the man who is managing the baseball team doesn't know the rules of baseball. It was rough.

[Luke Burbank]

I definitely am.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

As I. As I was texting yesterday from the middle seat, I'm coming around to this larger conversation or this. This opinion that Dan Wilson is. It's kind of not. He's just not really probably up to the job right now. Maybe he will be someday. But last year was such a magical season in a lot of ways that I think it kind of covered over his. Some of his kind of inabilities, if you will. But this is my point in all this. I also felt like I needed to do some work on my computer because I was in between two people who were both doing work on their computers, Andrew. And I didn't want to just seem like a lightweight, like an intellectual lightweight who just scrolls TikTok and keeps rechecking the Mariners feed. Oh, wow. So, yeah, this is how. This is where I live. It's called inside my head. It's not a good place. I just like. So I was like, I wanted to just scroll TikTok and check the Mariners and text salty things to the criminals, but I thought, I better break out my weird yellow laptop and kind of do some stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was the other thing. I love this.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wait.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is such a dazzling detail. So not only are you in your head, you're like, I'm not going to watch a baseball game up here because I want these people to think I'm serious. But because you had forgotten your real laptop at home, and you kind of purchased and are hoping to return this temporary laptop that only came in a silly green color, I love the fact you're like, I am going. I am going to be a serious person now. And then you pull out, like, your toy Velcro wallet and you pull out

[Luke Burbank]

a Dora the Explorer iPad.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm doing. And you said out loud, I'm doing my work too.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love this.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm working like daddy does. I had a leapfrog that I pulled out and started. Oh, wow. Pecking away on it was very embarrassing.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I just realized I have been screaming. I'm looking at my levels now. My apologies. I don't know if this is salvageable. My levels have been so much hotter than yours, I think this whole time. And then I was just screaming into the microphone, sorry, everybody. I hope this is better for you.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. I thought that was just maybe what I was hearing down the line.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was it. Was it actually distorting on you? I'm sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

But, Andrew, a small price to pay for the fact that I genuinely delighted you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll take it your situation did.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay, fine. Hey, speaking of baseball, I know I don't have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tell me you don't have the music, right? Oh, I was hoping. Good. Because I. I have better Junior Sluggers music. And this is the music that the kids will show up for.

[Luke Burbank]

If Andrew, if you knew how many of the Junior Sluggers have handlebar mustaches and are nicknamed Lefty, you would know just how appropriate this music is. Many of the Junior Sluggers ride a penny farthing bicycle directly to the field.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're wearing leather helmets for some reason, and it's not even the right sport.

[Luke Burbank]

Strange. Strange. This is an update from Coach Ben on our Little league team that we sponsor the TBTL Jalapenos. Coach Ben says. Sorry, this is a long one. Since my last update, the Jalapenos, your TBTL Junior Sluggers, have played three games, two of which were among the best games we've played all year. On Monday, May 11, we had a rematch against the Parkside Pickles, a scrappy squad we handled easily in our first meeting. I have a soft spot for the Pickles as their roster includes many players I have coached in years past. Longtime TBTL listeners may recognize the names of Andreas and Baxter from previous seasons. I also coached the Pickles, Taj, Dean, and Colton in fall baseball, a short season that is sadly not sponsored by TBTL and therefore receives no recap emails for your enjoyment. I see Coach Ben is trying to upsell us on the fall league. There he is.

[Andrew Walsh]

There he is.

[Luke Burbank]

Checking in on if we want to sponsor the fall team. Okay, now, that, by the way, was an email from Meta. Yeah, offering me 95 off on AI glasses.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, God.

[Luke Burbank]

Excellent stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

How do you feel about. I was thinking about you and I didn't want to bring it up because I know you can be a little sensitive about some of these things, but did you notice that everybody is now just calling those meta glasses that you have creep glasses? And how do you feel about that? Did you not pick up on this?

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't. I haven't heard that. But I'm not surprised. I think they are. I. I do. I don't wear them very often. I certainly don't wear them in public. But I do think it's reasonable to call them creep glasses, honestly, like, I just. Although they do have a. I guess they do have a white light that shines if you're videotaping. And then also I guess if you cover that white light, then the videotape doesn't work. Somebody was telling us, I think it's really.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that. Oh, really? I didn't know that.

[Luke Burbank]

That precise reason, I think good, good

[Andrew Walsh]

on them, I guess for putting that in there. And I will point out too that, yeah, like there is a big difference of like you want those at. You're using them to film your videos that you're posting online and that's the best way to do it. That's a much different thing than wearing them out into public. Because I have been hearing about some, you know, and again, I don't have context for how widespread it is, but you know, just gross guys. Not, not like not going full, you know, porkies on it, but like just, you know, just like I don't wear him at the gym or whatever and

[Luke Burbank]

ogling again, I do think, and this what people should keep an eye out for that if there's at least the ones that I have, if you're ever videotaping with them or whatever it's called. Now there is this bright white light that shines out from the glasses, I think by design. And again, what. I think somebody might have even told this in the comments section or whatever. But like if you try to cover that up in some way, I've been told that it. Then it will not let the glasses record or something. I'm not trying to praise the machines,

[Andrew Walsh]

but I'm just saying I'm very glad I'm legit. Glad to hear that.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm saying bolo, if you're out in the world, be on the lookout. If someone's wearing basically Ray Ban black frame glasses and there's a bright light shining from them, they recording. So Just be on the lookout. Yeah. Here we go with the rest of Coach Ben's message. Alas, the bonds of friendship only go so far. Once on the field, the Jalapenos went to work putting together a dominant performance on nearly every front. Zaya got the start and turned in his best game of the season. He gave up a Little League home run in the first due more to fielding miscues than bad pitching or hard contact. Otherwise, though, kept the Pickles stymied. He stayed over the plate, struck out seven and introduced weak contact. Notably, Zaya got sharper and more efficient as the game went on, delivering three overpowering innings. Man, seven strikeouts.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. A lot. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Furious George Numbers on offense, we were firing on every cylinder. Crosby led the way with four hits with Atlas, Zaya, Amos, Knox and Nico Fox. Excuse me, Nico. All collecting at least one hit a piece. We weren't hitting. We were drawing walks. Led by Ali, Zaya and Victor, who each collected three free passes on the day. Those hits and walks turned into runs. We plated five in the first inning, scored at least one run in every inning after that. The result was a game that was quickly, quickly secured and never really in doubt. By the fifth inning, we'd built a large enough lead that I could put in some inexperienced pitchers for some low pressure mop up duty.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

Final score. Jalapenos 14, pickles 11.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. High scoring on both sides.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. 14, 11. Hustlepins went to Zaya, Amos and Ollie. This game was pretty much my definition of a perfect game. Every Jalapeno player found success at some level, either on defense, at the plate or on the mound. And given the pitching change in the final inning, I think the same can be said for the Pickles squad, too. This is what Parkside Little League is about. Andrew, I like. For years you've been saying this is not what it's about. I'm telling you, this is what it's about. Giving kids the opportunity to play baseball and the tools to find success and fun in the sport. If our season had ended that evening, I would have been very happy. But there was more to come. Here's a tightened up version. Three days later, we took on the Hollywood Rose City Flying Chicken Nuggets. There we go. Now that's back to a team that was named by children.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

The real. The real processed meat mouthful of a name. The Rose City Flying Chicken Nuggets. All names count towards your record, but interleague battles feel more important. League pride and more than a little ego are on the line. And to be blunt, I'm tired of losing to our crosstown rivals. Luke Andrew. I've been awakened. That was like, Luke Andrew. It's not that I've changed my middle name to Andrew, and Coach Ben is calling me Luke Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought he was just, like, combining our names, like Bennifer, but uncreatively.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do we have, like, Luke Andrew?

[Luke Burbank]

Why don't. Why don't we get a Bennifer?

[Andrew Walsh]

Why don't we like a Landru? Landru works, but it really shortens your name. You get one letter. Well, I get my full name.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it's L. Apostrophe. Andrew. It's Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I like that. Louis. Louis Leandrew. I love his book.

[Luke Burbank]

For the first time in my three years of sending in these reports, I can finally say that one of my teams has beaten a squad from the Hollywood Road City. Even as I write this, it seems impossible both that it finally happened and that it somehow had never happened before. Everyone on the team contributed to this victory, but one jalapeno deserves special recognition, and that jalapeno is Crosby. Crosby's one of our most productive players all season, but on Thursday, he took it to an entirely new level. He got the start at pitcher, and from his very first throw, completely overwhelmed the Nugget hitters. His pitches were on target and fast. You could hear the crack every time the ball hit the catcher's mitt. Most amazingly, Crosby was efficient. Little League has strict rules governing maximum pitch counts, and Crosby sailed well under those limits, hurling five complete innings in fewer than 70 pitches. You could see the Nugget players deflate as he kept trotting back out to the mound, inning after inning. Crosby, stat line for the day. 13 strikeouts. Whoa, Andrew. 13 strikeouts, one walk. That's incredible. My. My memory of Little League baseball was heavy on the walks. You know, even good pitchers, it's just, you know, control can be tough at this age. Thirteen strikeouts, one walk. That's incredible.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is.

[Luke Burbank]

Simply put, it was one of the most dominant pitching performances I've seen in Little League League. The Jalapenos offense did its job to support Crosby's gem. After a slow start, we plated one run in the second, two in the third, and then in the fourth, we exploded for five runs, fueled by walks from Zaya, Ali, Atlas Tommy, followed by a string of hits from Nemo, Armani, Fox and Amos. In the sixth inning, Ali came in to close the game. After yielding a few runs, the Jalapenos defense locked down and put away the Nuggets final score, Jalapeno 9. Jalapenos 9. Flying chicken nuggets 3. Hustlepins to Crosby, Fox and Nemo. Which brings us to the final game of the Jalapenos regular season. Andrew. A Saturday morning battle against the Hollywood Rose City Titans.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, you don't mind me interrupting? I don't. I'm maybe putting you on the spot here, but do you have a sense? Because I hate to say it, but I've lost track of where we are. Before we hear about the final game, I would like to know what the stakes are. Do we know what the record is going into this final game?

[Luke Burbank]

I can't tell you off the top of my head. And I'm reading this off my phone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm a bit. I'm a bit dark.

[Andrew Walsh]

We might be at 500.

[Luke Burbank]

Close to 500.

[Andrew Walsh]

I want to see wins in a row, right? So I think it might be 500.

[Luke Burbank]

It feels like 500 to me as well. Or very close.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

This was something of a sad day. New mall. After the two previous matchups, it was our only road game of the season and the other two scheduled away games were rained out. And admittedly, the Jalapenos didn't bring their A game to the field. The result was a lackluster performance and a loss. Titans 10, Jalapenos 3. Rather than dwell on the L, I'm going to share some bright spots from the game. Zaya had another solid day on the mound, striking out six over three innings. I mean, honestly. Well, yeah, 10 runs is an amount of runs. I was going to say we didn't give up so many runs, but they got to 10. Ziya also made a great unassisted double play, caught a fly ball, dragged the runner out while playing first base, a position he claims to hate. Coach Ben, really helping these kids and their growing edge, putting them at positions that they are on the record as

[Andrew Walsh]

hating, putting them in the best position to lose is.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Victor had his best hit of the season off of one of the better pitchers we've seen this year. Oh, who's checking in? Is it. Is it one of the CBS producers talking about an update to our story about Miami that is airing this week. Week it is. Andrew. I know that's exactly what you were going to guess. Miami meat tents. It's about dingling slings. It's about grape smugglers that might have been covered. Fox continued his streak of excellent work at second base, making severed salt several solid plays and recording an out on A pop up. As we mentioned, Victor had a great hit. Nico collected three hits on the day. Made a couple of nice plays in the field. As I predicted earlier in the spring, he has matured into a solid baseball player. Amos was Amos. Bringing his usual energy, enthusiasm and sportsmanship all game long. Tommy showed up with a 3D printed T bone chain which was very popular with players and spectators alike. Tommy really leaning into the nickname of T Bone and also a working understanding of 3D printing, which I don't have.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that is something for the younger generations. Everybody I know who messes. Well, not everybody. I guess I do know some people who are older than me too who are messing around with that stuff. But it does seem like it's a. It. It's like my. What would he be, my step nephew or something? He. He was into 3D printing when he was like 12 or something like that. He grew up with it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Digital natives. When I shared with the team that our season record was six wins and seven losses, I got to do the six, seven thing. There was a lot of eye rolling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, there is over here too. If you're keeping records.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody got a W. Even not, not on the field, but off. Off the field. When coach Ben got to make his 6, 7 joke, which I'm sure the youngsters really enjoyed. Hustlepins awarded to Ziah, Victor and Nico. We're now entering the tournament of champions. Andrew. A multi league playoff for regional bragging rights. This is a double elimination tournament. Oh, nice. I wonder if I'm going to get to go to a game then. Double elimination. If they play through this weekend. If they play until Sunday, you could go on or late enough on Saturday I could land. We're flying back on Saturday. By the way, Becca is. Is on her way here to the hotel. She's sitting on the airplane right now. Landed and taxiing. And we're here for a few days for. Wait, wait. And a special party honoring Bill Curtis tomorrow night and then flying home on Saturday. I'm feeling like I might be able to actually catch a jalapenos game after all, which would be amazing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a double elimination tournament. We have at least two more games to play. Our next battle is with the Wilshire Riverside nights coming up on Thursday. That's today, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the nights. That sounds intimidating.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And also Wilshire Riverside. That sounds bougie. If you're by a river, it's pretty as I know Living above a river, it's bougie.

[Andrew Walsh]

They have the best phlebotomists there. Oh, I saw my phlebotomist at the grocery store again yesterday. But not in his scrubs. It was the first time I saw him in his just street clothes. It was. Was. Again, it was weird. It was like seeing your teacher on her day off.

[Luke Burbank]

And after you'd mentioned to the phlebotomist, hey, I see you at the grocery store. And no response.

[Andrew Walsh]

Literally no response as he's putting needles in my arms. He's not a very.

[Luke Burbank]

No way. Did that, like, change his vibe. It did not cause him to try to be more gentle with your veins. He just grunted. What is going on with your schedule with this phlebotomist?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I will say I'm at the grocery store a lot. I feel like I've been at the grocery store almost every day this week. And so it's going to. It's like gears, you know, spinning. Eventually they're going to match up.

[Luke Burbank]

That's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did some last minute grilling yesterday. I needed to go to the grocery store because there was something that I felt like I couldn't live without, and it was hand soap. Maybe, maybe not completely unrelated to all of the pulling of things out of my dog's mouth after walks or whatever, but I've been going through hand soap too quickly. Usually get it delivered from the company grove, but I didn't have a full enough order to place. This is all really interesting, which is why I'm telling you this. And so after a busy day of taking Lucy to the vet and then picking up Genevieve from a work function and finally getting home and having a meeting with the contractor, I said, I need to go to the store now to get everything on the list, including that hand soap, because I will not spent half the day washing my hands with dish soap. A move that I do not like to do. So I went to the grocery store. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

There's not enough.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you do that?

[Luke Burbank]

There's not enough dish soap to get no clean after what you did was fishing condom out of your dog?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I'll never be clean.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll never.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll never be clean again.

[Luke Burbank]

Like in there will never be enough hand soap, hand sanitizer, dish soap, you name it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Ever get that out of your ass? I'm not trying to laugh. It's not. It's not funny.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was gross. But I. I've gotten some. I've gotten some story. Apparently our business boy, John Sklaroff, had to do that one time on a walk with Modi. I believe I've heard from some Other people, actually. Well, I'll tell you another story that a listener sent in later, but we should probably. We're not done with coach Ben yet, are we?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, he just says he's feeling spicy about the matchup in a good way. Coach Ben out. So

[Andrew Walsh]

looking forward to that. I would like to know what the. What the regular season record was.

[Luke Burbank]

It was six, seven, remember?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, he got to do the six, seven thing. Oh, that was that. Right. Sorry. I was so focused on rolling my eyes that I didn't listen to the actual content. So that's on me. You can now roll your eyes back on me. So we're going into the playoffs with a losing record, which has. You know that. That's historic right there. I think.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, but like, think about this. Six wins.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

How many wins did we have last season?

[Andrew Walsh]

Two wins. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

That's huge.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

That is like. That's a major.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't mean. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that in a neg. In a negging way. I meant it more in, like. That's a historical. That's a significant thing to go into the post.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I. And. And by the way it sounds, I mean, Coach Ben says he's feeling spicy. First of all, we beat a Hollywood Rose City team, which we've never done before. I feel like this is. This is a team that is on the rise. And I'm excited that we bought low. I'm glad we bought. Bought in back in the. The two and ten days. So now we can enjoy the six, seven days.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, sorry, what? I'm just reading ahead to this dazzling donor message you're about to read, and I realize that some of our listeners might not like the direction it goes.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, you mean the message from our friend and dazzling donor, Chris Stremlau?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the one. And I didn't mean that as no offense to Chris, of course, but there's a content request in this that. I'm not sure everybody wants this content, but I'm willing to give it. Oh, man.

[Luke Burbank]

It's some of my favorite content to provide. Chris is our first dazzling donor we're gonna thank today. Of course, this is 100% listener supported podcasting that you're tuned into right now, and that's how we can do TBTL five days a week. I told you on the show yesterday that when I visited the studios of Exactly Right Media, the people that make the My Favorite Murder podcast and many other shows, I was very impressed and a bit jealous. And one thing though, I could lord over them was how many episodes of TBTL we've done. I was telling one of their senior producers, who, by the way, was also the drummer for Luscious Jackson.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, listener pointed that out. The person that was showing you around was probably. Was it that Kate or Caitlin?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, original drummer for the Beastie Boys and also Luscious Jackson drummer.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was a Luscious Jackson fan with that first record. I was, yeah, Yeah, I was too.

[Luke Burbank]

It was. It was fun and very. A super nice person to Kate who was showing me around and taking care of us. But when I. I did tell them that, I was like, yeah, today we did, like episode, I don't know, 4700 and something. All of the people I was talking to because they make podcasts, they were shocked.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you think they listened to yesterday's. What was yesterday? Oh, yesterday's was the big. The grody thing in the. What was that?

[Luke Burbank]

I think it was another CBS related email. See, Andrew, this is what I like about this is what I like about having these sound effects is that everyone can understand now what my life is actually like, okay? And it's hard. It's hard out here for a multidisciplinarian, a multidiscipline media content creator like myself, it's just, you get cbs, it's emails left and right. Anyway, Chris is helping me pronounce his last name, but I'm wondering, I say Audi. Do you say Audi or do you say Audi?

[Andrew Walsh]

Because. Oh, that's right. I said, well, you would know better. You had one. And I don't know, but it doesn't

[Luke Burbank]

mean I know how to produce it. Pronounce it. I'm going with ow as an Audi. Yeah, no, I. Chris Stremla.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I would say. Yep, yep, I'm with you on that.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, good. And Chris is in Kirkland, Washington, and says, hey, dudes, I don't have a heck of a lot to pitch this year. I usually try to throw you something that you can riff on for a while. This is what's so great about our business model, is the listeners not only donate money to us, but then they also help us with the content. They're like, they feel responsible to give us something to riff on. You know, keep those needles moving.

[Andrew Walsh]

Chris writes, can I just think about that really quickly? The Needles moving thing. I miss needles. When he said that, I looked at my board and I do have, like, VU meters, but they're like. And I like these, too, but they're like a series of little green lights. And at the very top, they're yellow lights and then red lights. But we don't want to get into that. I might have been in the red light district, as they say at the beginning of today's show. I hope that's clean. I hope I can clean that up. But I was listening to. I think I mentioned this on the show the other day. I don't know why. I've never been a big Herbie Hancock guy, but I think I might be a Herbie Hancock guy now. And I was listening to this record yesterday called Headhunters, and it's really cool. And it shows basically, like a depiction of him behind a keyboard, of course. But instead of showing his head, could you look. Do you have the ability to look this up without taking the operation off the air? Look at the album cover for Herbie Hancock Headhunters. It's just. I mean, as you'd expect, absolute badass album cover. But it kind of depicts his head instead of being a human head. It's like a big. Some sort of a metering device. It looks like it's got a couple of knobs on it and then one of those classic old school radio boards. VU meters. That means volume unit, I want to say with the actual bouncing needle, but it's turned upside down so it looks like a smile. You're looking at that, right?

[Luke Burbank]

I am. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm looking at it more closely now. Yes, it's a very interesting. A very interesting kind of visual. I'm also. I think I'm seeing, like. I don't know if it's like the Japanese release or something. I'm trying to get. Get eyes on this record. Yeah, I can see it. What do you think that thing is?

[Andrew Walsh]

I am not sure. I think it might be something they made that has various, like, components of recording equipment, but I'm not exactly sure.

[Luke Burbank]

You think those are antennae?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know what pinchers are on top. He looks a little alien. I can't tell if this is something that they created. Just like, hey, let's put a VU meter here. Let's put some knobs, like eyes. Or if it's actually a device. I'm guessing the first, but I could be very wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody on the Internet is saying that it is a reference, I think maybe to a piece of African Art.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting. Okay. But replacing some of the components of it with stuff from the studio. Because he was a big studio tinkerer.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I'm seeing a photograph of something that is. Looks like a kind of like indigenous art or sort of like, you know, folk art. That looks a lot like the thing that they're representing on the COVID of the album. Except that the Herbie Hancock one has been kind of made to be more

[Andrew Walsh]

like music studio production or something, which is really cool. But I was looking at that album cover yesterday. I was looking at that meter with the actual needle in it. Like, I almost had a visceral memory of learning radio. Like, my first job of, like, being what? And one of my first jobs was, like, when I finally earned the. I. Let's see here. Earned their respect and trust, I guess I should say, to have the job of, like, basically being in the studio for the late night shifts where the DJs or whatever you would call them had pre recorded all of their sets. And then I would play them off of DAT or something like that. And then I would play the classical music that they were introducing. And I remember, like, whoever trained me on the board showed me exactly where those needles need to bounce. And for those of you unlucky enough to never have run an audio board in the actual radio station back in the day, there was something about the way those needles moved. They just bounced in such a satisfying way. I was finding myself really missing that yesterday. Do you remember that, Luke? It was just like that sensation of the needles actually bouncing. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't run the board that much. They did not trust me or like me enough to let me do that. But I do know what you're talking about. When you would see that. I mean, those are some. My. My early memories of working in radio is really. Is keeping the quote, unquote needles moving, as it were.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, here, I'm gonna play some music underneath this. The rest of this, since I'm on this album anyway now. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, great. You know, we need some more of says Chris no point conversation. Give me a few spicy Mariners or Seahawks hot takes. Keep up this necessary work. Signed Chris in Kirkland. All right. We already kind of went into. We did Mariner talk a bit. So let's keep it to Seahawk talk. Which, gotta be honest with you, it's a little. It's a strange. I forget for long stretches of time that the Seahawks are the reigning world champions of football. They won the freaking super bowl by kind of a decent amount. Like, the game wasn't really in question. Like, whereas the previous time that we won the super bowl against the Broncos that season felt like we were considered one of the best teams in the league. And we had, you know, Russell Wilson was slinging in those days, and it was just kind of like, yeah, yeah. It was just like, yeah, the Legion of boom. Thank you. It was just like, that was all year. I was looking forward to it. And then we got to the super bowl and then we won, and it just like, it made such an impression on me. And I think, you know, I just. Just had it in my mind and in my heart. And this one I will just sometimes remember. Like, holy shit, the Seahawks won the Super Bowl. We are the super bowl champs right now. Like, it just snuck up on me somehow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I will. I'm not. I have this thing where I don't pay attention to football during baseball season. I just like, I can't. I can't care even when the team is really good, you know, and it is an interesting storyline. The one thing that I know, the one thing that I can add to the conversation is I heard a promo on and I was listening to a national broadcast or something. I was listening to, like, serious. I was listening to, I think a Royals game on serious radio or something along the lines of that. And I heard a national promo for some sort of Seahawks centered podcast hosted by Joe McHale where he sits down.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

With.

[Luke Burbank]

With Coach Mike McDonald.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mike McDonald. I actually forgot his name for a second. That's how out of football I am.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, there's like seven white coaches who have a version of Mac McDonald.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So Mike McDaniel, Mike McDonald, Matt McMichael.

[Andrew Walsh]

How do you feel about Oulet? While we're. Let's talk more about. About Luke, the intersection of sports and media. How do you feel about the Seahawks? I don't know if I should say having to or getting to be on Hard Knocks this upcoming season.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I think under other certain circumstances, I'd be very excited about it because, you know, I just like seeing more about my team. There also does seem to be, like, kind of a Hard Knocks jinx. Very few teams that have been on Hard Knocks have gone on to have great seasons. I think some of that has to do with. With how the rules used to work. The NFL had some kind of deal with HBO about who could be or who had to be on Hard Knocks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it was something like if you. If you. You couldn't refuse, if you hadn't, like, didn't have a winning record or something the season before didn't make the playoffs, I think. But if you. They also had an exception that if you had a new.

[Luke Burbank]

The number one overall pick or something was that.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I knew if you had a brand new coach, you also did not have. Have to do it because teams don't want to do it usually because it's kind of a distraction.

[Luke Burbank]

There's like kind of no upside. If you're the team, it's just putting your business on blast. I mean it might slightly, you know, if you're a kind of a relatively obscure team, like and peace and love. But if you're like the Carolina Panthers or something, if you're. And maybe even the Seahawks to, to a degree. If you're a team that isn't like the Patriots or the Chiefs or you know, whoever else. Like if you're not one of the teams that just sort of the Cowboys. Let's just say maybe there's a slight advantage to. I don't mean, I don't mean on the field but like as far as the owners of the team go, maybe you don't mind selling a few more shirts. People kind of knowing a little bit more about your team. If you're again as obscure as any NFL team can be. But if you're kind of one of the more obscure teams. But yeah, I don't think the coaches like it. It's just more intrusion from the media.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's.

[Luke Burbank]

I doubt that they're going to let any game secrets out. But. But yeah, so I guess, I guess what I will say is like I'm, I'm excited. I'll definitely watch it, that's for sure. And I'm excited to see it. But again, what, what is raised by Chris's email in my mind, and I guess this is my spicy take, is that there's almost a. By the way, the Seahawks, I think are going to be really good again. That's the things that this team was built on. The things that this team was built on or are built on. Ton. What's the proper word there?

[Andrew Walsh]

The team is that our team.

[Luke Burbank]

What we created last season to me seems theoretically reproducible because it's basically Sam Darnold game managing and it's our defense playing really well and I feel like we can do that again. We don't have. I mean we've, we've locked Darnold in for at least a few seasons, I believe so whereas when you win the super bowl and you've got like a quarterback like Russell Wilson who's about to get off his rookie contract and all of a sudden, I mean, the thing that's. The thing that sucks about winning the super bowl is many of your players are now worth more money on the open market. And you get into this thing where it's really, really hard to keep the people on the team that helped you win the super bowl in the first place.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't feel like from a salary standpoint, the Seahawks find themselves in that position. We had kind of a, you know, again, we did a really, really smart thing with betting on Darnold and most of the other, you know, a lot of the other guys are kind of on rookie contracts still for a little bit longer and stuff. So, you know, Nick Iman worry is just like a phenomenal. But I think we probably got maybe what, two more years on his contract. So I am.

[Andrew Walsh]

Walker was, Walker was the biggest loss, right. The person who walked away from the team. But he also was saying, I was hearing some press conference clips of him kind of saying that he knew way earlier in the season that he was not going to be a Seahawk going forward. Oh, I'm sorry. I just had a thought pop in my head that is Mariners related. I wanted to share with you, but I didn't mean to cut off football.

[Luke Burbank]

That's my Seahawks take. Give me your Mariners take.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you hear what JP Crawford apparently said in an interview yesterday? And I will tell you this is this warmed my heart. If I sound like mad at him, I'm not. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I did not hear what he said.

[Andrew Walsh]

So listen to this. So for folks who don't know, let me give a little background on JP Crawford. He is a beloved Mariner and he's been a Mariner, you know, for how long now, Luke? Like quite a while, right? And he's like a veteran presence on the team and he's just a very, very lovable guy and he plays shortstop for us and traditionally he's been a really good shortstop, but he, the last couple of seasons he's been a bit of a liability on defense and I guess he's better at the plate or he was better at the plate last year than I remembered. His numbers were better than I remembered. But we also have this real hot shot now, rookie, no longer prospect, but actual rookie who came up this weekend named Colt Emerson who has traditionally played shortstop. And that is JP's position. Right. And JP is on his final contract year with the Mariners. And so people like me have been sort of expecting that this is his last year as a Mariner because he'll probably go play for some other team for his last remaining couple of years and it'll be fine, he'll get a payday. But the Mariners are not going to invest in JP Crawford any further. It's not because we don't love him, but just because we have somebody who already plays that position. Now this hot shot rookie who's now playing with us has been playing third base instead of shortstop because we already have JP at shortstop. And so I think most people like me have just been thinking, okay, this will be the last year we'll have Colton at third base waiting to take his turn at shortstop when JP moves on to, I don't know, the Mets next year or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

That seems like a good place, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

It just seemed right. So anyway, apparently, and I don't even know if somebody asked him this, Luke, I think that he might have volunteered it. JP Crawford apparently said, I want to be a Mariner for life. And if that means I play third base next year, I'm open to that. I mean, I'll be honest with you, from a playing perspective, I don't know if that's the best. I don't know if I cherish the thought of seeing JP learn from the base. But from a spiritual perspective, that is sweet, sweet stuff. I did not think that JP was thinking he wanted to be a Mariner for life. And when you just go and say that publicly like that puts you on your back feet as far as negotiations are concerned. That's a pretty, that's a hell of a thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I will give it to him that it is, it is a nice thing, a nice sentiment to express and I would be happy for him to play, I guess continue to play as a Mariner in select scenarios. But like, no offense, he's the worst fielding shortstop in Major League Baseball.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that a stat right now? I mean, he's been bad. I don't know if you recall, but before the season began. You do recall because you I. Whatever. We joked around about it on the show later, but I'd sent this long text to the thread saying like what is, what are the, what are the odds that JP even is still, still with us by the end of the season if we have cold Emerson coming up and that was also the one where Stubbot weighed in. I believe the Silver Jews record American Water. But anyway, yeah, no, I mean I, I, he was a liability last year. He was bad and he has not been especially either.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's like on, you know, on the One hand, I'm. It is a nice sentiment for him to be like, I want to retire a Mariner. I'm willing to play center field if they need me to. But it's like, dude, you're not good at playing shortstop, so I don't think we need you at third base. Like, I mean, what would be. I'm not trying to like rain on the parade here because it is nice to hear that JP loves it here and wants to, you know, finish out his days. And again, if there's a way for that to happen that's helpful for the Mariners. And jp, I think that would be awesome. And he always. The thing that JP Crawford always does is when I'm the most down on him, is when he decides to hit a walk off home run. He somehow senses when I'm being especially cruel in the comment section of the criminals and then chooses to, in that moment, exceed my expectations. So maybe he'll continue to do that. I like the guy and I like that he's. And I think what you said that's the most compelling to me is you're right, he's undermining any negotiating position he would have with the Mariners. But that's because he wants to be a Mariner. So I like that a lot. I do think that that's a, that's a nice thing to hear. I just wish he would be a little better at defense. The reason that he's better at the plate than you think is because he has on base percentage is weirdly high because he is very smart about getting walks.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is so good at the plate. He's so patient, man. He.

[Luke Burbank]

But he also strikes out a lot. I mean, that's the problem. I feel like he's like, my, my. The. The reason that it's his at. His at bats are kind of confusing and misleading is because I feel like he's always striking out and I'm like, ah, jp. But then when he's doing a good thing, it's mostly he's just walking and then four batters later he comes in to score. So it's this kind of subtle sort of thing that's happening. He's not like hitting home runs or striking out, so I'm not noticing the good stuff he's doing because it's kind of. It's again, it's a walk, which doesn't, you know, doesn't light up the scoreboard for me. But yeah, he's his op. His on base percentage is good.

[Andrew Walsh]

So yeah, I'm looking at it now. It's actually not even. Let's see here. Oh yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it's 358. That's pretty good on ops. It's, it's not real. Like that's not. What is it?

[Luke Burbank]

But Randy's is like 800.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that's on base plus slugging for Randy. Right. I think that's why I get a little bit confused about these numbers. I'm not a big, I'm not a great stats guy, so I'm often doing this. What, what is a. And you know what the important thing is we are absolutely super delivering on Chris's request. Yeah. So what is a good on base percentage? And a good one is. Oh, a good one is generally think anything above 340. And so he's just slightly above 340. So that's.

[Luke Burbank]

So he's got a good on base percent. So yes. And Chris, you're welcome. Thank you for the donation.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maestro, get set now. Ready, ready. Go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattles oh, look who it is. It's our pals from Port Townsend, Washington, Peter and Sherry Cobb.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey guys, now if I start getting the next door updates from Port Townsend, we'll really know something is up because I don't think it even been invented when I lived in Port Townsend. This is Sherry writing on behalf of myself and my husband and fellow 10, Peter. I listen from Port Townsend and he listens while making 11 year old Mac and cheese in Shoreline.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that was, that's right. We got an email about the really, really or I think it was a voice memo about the really, really old Mac and cheese.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think I was going off about my parents and their beef stroganoff that they were transporting across various state lines and not refrigerating, etc. Maybe that was when that came up. He works for a large utility near Sorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know that utility. I walk by it all the time. It's across the street from an apple tree.

[Luke Burbank]

So he commutes to Port Townsend Weekly. In early 2014, we began our busy cross Puget Sound life. I lived in northeast Seattle for three plus decades. Peter was in Portland when we met and I used to have my studio in Ballard. So you cover all our locations. It's delightful. Yeah, that's right between where you live, Andrew, and where you travel to in your life and where I have lived, lived and go to. We've got Peter and Sherry's entire sort of like northwest map covered.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

Our TBTL story began in the old days of Peter cooking dinner in our cozy Ravenna kitchen. Hey, our two dogs underfoot area sort

[Andrew Walsh]

of checks a box for me too. I consider like the Roosevelt Ravenna area. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

That's where you do your pop up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I'd hang out in the doorway laughing and asking questions about the radio show playing in the background. I don't recall the exact moment I was hooked on tbtl, but it was my first ever podcast. In the early days, we were just listeners. When our Port Townsend move coincided with Luke's, we kept a low profile. It's a small town, so our paths crossed in the co op and around town. I don't know if I knew this. I do remember meeting Peter and Sherry, I think at an event maybe for the film festival, but I did not realize or I've forgotten maybe if I was being clocked at the co op or other such places. This was before the see something, say something. So we respected your privacy. Then we joined the Stens page, forging a deeper connection with the 2019s thing festival and the boat show. We were all in on the TBTL community. Those events and the 4000th episode are personal highlights and we hope to attend others and get to know more tens. Well, without giving too much away, let's just say, Sherry, there will be something going on for the 5,000th. We haven't exactly figured it out, but we know there's going to be a get together component. So we've all just got to make it for another what year? Almost exactly a year. Right. I think we were talking in our

[Andrew Walsh]

meeting or July of yeah. And you know, hopefully we'll maybe do some things before then, but it's unclear for what we're going to have the ability to do that. But we're definitely Here are the things we know. We're definitely doing something for 5,800 and it's definitely clothing optional. Those are the only two things we know so far.

[Luke Burbank]

Except not for you. It's yours is clothing.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I'm opt. Don't worry, I'm opting into the clothing.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, good. We are fortunate that our lives are intertwined with tbtl. You bring us laughter and tears when we face tough times. It's this show and the community of tens that comfort to have this safe space through authoritarianism and a pandemic has been priceless. What you do is so important, you dazzle. So we dazzle. Power out. That's coming from our friends, listeners, Sherry and Peter out there in Port Townsend, Washington. Well, thank you so much cop family for following us all these years and for donating to the show and being awesome and for respecting the rules of if you see something, say something. So if I ever see me wandering around Port Townsend, please come up and say hi.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also, you know what? I don't think there's any reason for me to keep my powder dry here. Happy birthday, Peter. We'll get more on that later in the blurs day segment. But happy damn birthday. What a great coincidence for your dazzling donor message to come up today.

[Luke Burbank]

That was all part of the plan. John and I worked hard on that. When we decided which dazzling donor to send you today, Andrew, we said we're going to make sure. Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

It would be funny. You know, I have been sending you drops. Maybe you should start sending me the blurs days and the dazzling donor messages. Maybe we should do everything topsy turvy.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that'd be fun. I'm in for that. Anyway, thanks again, Peter and Sherry. We couldn't do this without you. There's a right way to rock and

[Andrew Walsh]

a wrong way to roll.

[Luke Burbank]

You can't just listen to your song.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just remember that life, life is number one.

[Luke Burbank]

You can be having so much fun. Just remember the day.

[Andrew Walsh]

Life is much fun.

[Luke Burbank]

You can be nothing number one.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, Luke, I am going to do something here against the grain and without your permission. But before we get into the blurs to days, because we don't have too many blurs days, I'm going to try to read, or at least read you some highlights from an amazing email that we got yesterday. I'm not sure if you saw this or not, but did you see an email with the subject line confessions of a Meta Marketplace Shopper?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. This is incredible message. I thought we were going to read it tomorrow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you want to actually save it for tomorrow?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, because I think it's so well put.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And so describes. Well, I mean, I just don't want to. I don't want it to be. I don't want it necessarily to be rushed because I do think it's really interesting. I think it will also spur me on to talking a lot because I felt very. I don't know if seen is the right word, but I could totally identify with the way this person was describing their experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well, we will get to that then tomorrow. Good.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, because my sound box, I think I must have left it on. And maybe here's what I think was happening, because this is the one that a listener modified for me, Andrew, so that I could turn it on and off. I Must have accidentally left it in the on position. And listen. That's as much of the whistle as I can play.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's no good.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I left it in the on position and then it was getting leaned on in my bag and probably just endlessly playing. Like a clapping sound effect.

[Andrew Walsh]

I hope somebody could hear it.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think it drained the battery. So all I. The only excited sound I can make for anybody is I brought the. This physical horn.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you can also use your mouth if you want to make sound effects with your mouth. Don't use words, though. Can you give me a. Give me some sort of a bird. It's like some sort of a tropical bird.

[Luke Burbank]

Tropical bird. It's a living.

[Andrew Walsh]

Perfect.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a bird from the Flintstones.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like it. April in the Arby's district of Edmond says, happy Blurs day to my five, Zoe, who is turning 15. I'm so incredibly proud of you and can't wait to celebrate with tacos and mango cake. They make mango cake? I want some mango cake. I've never had that before. That sounds amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

It's mango flavored or has chunks of mango in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, well, I have a. I have an idea of what it might be like, but I could be wrong, so I won't share my thoughts now. But it sounds amazing. April says, you're the best, and I'm so lucky to be your mom. So that's for Zoe. And then number two, April says, I want to wish myself a happy 40th Blurs Day. Hard to believe I've been listening since my 34th blurs. Oh, only six years? You're a TBTL newbie. Welcome, dear friend. Happy Blurs Day, April. And Happy Blurs Day, Zoe. Happy birthday to Tevrin. This is a big one. They turn 18 years old on Saturday and graduate high school in a few weeks, too, since they listen to TBTL independently sometimes. Tevyn is also graduating from a 5 to a 10. Oh, this is huge. This is more of a graduation ceremony. Welcome to the welcome to the Fold Tavern. All I can say is a hearty jalapeno. Congratulations, Tev. I love you, Mom. Avalon says, I'd like to wish a very happy blursday to my little sister, Roslyn. You are my best friend and worst enemy. No, that's not true. It says you are my best friend and the other half of our shared sister hive mind. I'm so proud of you for taking over lunch orders at work, thus ensuring every minority restaurant in town is getting extra business from the corporate world. You see what's going on there? So Avalon is taking. Wherever Avalon works, they're taking orders. You know, like, hey, we're gonna. I'm ordering lunch today. What do you guys want? And then making sure to order that food for minority owned businesses, which is pretty great. Let's see here. Oh, I'm sorry I gave that credit to Avalon. It's Avalon shouting out Roslyn. It's Roslyn. Who's doing that? Yeah, but we.

[Luke Burbank]

We used to have a listener Avalon in Scotland. Do we have two listeners named, named Avalon? Or I wonder if it's. If this is our friend Avalon who's in Scotland. Or maybe Avalon has come back from Scotland. I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe Avalon is all over. Where's Avalon? I love that. I love that. Is it a book?

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe the David Gray song Avalon is about listener Avalon.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have no idea.

[Luke Burbank]

Babylon Avalon.

[Andrew Walsh]

But mostly I'm proud of you for the smart, funny, vicarious. Nope, sorry. I am mostly proud of you for the smart, funny, vivacious person you are. I can't wait for our future sister trips and many happy returns of the day. Nice. Happy birthday, Rosalind. Sorry, I confused your names there for a second. I mean, Avalon could be sending this blurs day wish. Yeah, from. From across the pond. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Sure. They've got email over there.

[Andrew Walsh]

They do. Just got it. Rosemary says Happy 62nd birthday to me. Seems weird to wish myself a happy birthday, but what the heck. Happy me day. Also, Luke, I reached out to you last year to give you my ticket to Glengarry Glen Ross. It was my first trip to NYC and I ended up getting very sick and I couldn't go. But before you could get back to me, my stupid little brother found someone else to take. I felt really bad about it, but I also had tickets to see Othello, which I missed as well. I'll get back there one day.

[Luke Burbank]

That was so sweet. Yeah, I was talking about how I really wanted to see that production of Glengarry Glen Ross, but it was massively sold out. But then by the time I responded, yeah, their little brother had snatched it. But that felt better. Or you know, had given away the spot. That seemed like, let's keep it in the family. These are like multi, like hundred dollar, you know, hundreds of dollars in tickets. And I'd rather not. As somebody who's already benefiting from the charity of the listeners in a major way, I don't need to also get free tickets for them. Although it was a very, very kind offer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now look at this. Sherry and Poor Townsend here. Writing to wish my husband Peter A happy 63rd Blursday. I honored his excellent, excellent care of our backyard birds with a gift inspired by TBTL and Genevieve, the board game Wingspan, AKA Birds. Actually, my first online estate auction purchase. I hope it motivates us to slow down a bit. Love you, sweetie. What you do is so important.

[Luke Burbank]

Happy birthday, Peter.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you guys again. And finally, Tara says, happy Golden Blurs day to die. Doug. Someone who will always put his friends and family before himself. I'm so thankful to call you my friend. Love, Tara. Or. Or Tara. T A, R, A. How are you? How are you handling that? Tara or Tara?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going Tara.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think Tara was pro. Is probably more common, but Tara is out there. Anyway, happy birthday to Doug. Oh, sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Doge. Do you go Doug or do you.

[Luke Burbank]

I go Doge.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I'm sorry. Happy birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I grew up with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sure. I mean, it's probably.

[Luke Burbank]

I say. I say. What's up, dog?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. You did great. Hey, you did grow up with that. I did. I did.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, we didn't get the cars for kids today, but. But that's fine. We can talk about it tomorrow. Prali. We gotta wrap things up for today's episode. But, yes, we will be back here with more imaginary radio for all of you in, oh, just about 24 hours. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, everybody out there, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Go enjoy your off day, Seattle Mariners. And please remember, no mountain to what?

[Andrew Walsh]

And please remember I'm gonna go home and study the. Study those lyrics.

[Luke Burbank]

But I can. But I. But I can't.

[Andrew Walsh]

You got this.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.