#4742 You Might Be A Hobbit If...

Summary

TBTL #4742: "You Might Be A Hobbit If..."

Date: June 4, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

---

Episode Overview

In this rich and meandering Thursday episode of TBTL, Luke and Andrew celebrate being back in the studio (Luke’s short work trip felt longer than anticipated) and set the playful, delirious tone of the show. They dive into topics both high and low: the linguistic intricacies of “beat drop” vs “bass drop,” grumpy rideshare experiences, generational beef with advertising copy, adventures in healthcare logistics, and a deep New York Times profile on the now-legendary Baklava Guy outside Knicks games. The show is filled with personal anecdotes, inside jokes, music and sports references, playful language debates, and heartfelt shout-outs to the TBTL community.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Luke Returns Home, Lawn Rebellion [01:10]

• Luke is back in Madrona Hill, reveling in the view of the Columbia, but bemoaning how his lawn “revolted” during his absence, a theme of domestic chaos the show often revisits.

2. Generational Linguistics: “Beat Drop” vs “Bass Drop” [03:08–08:59]

• Andrew brings up a confusing radio ad that says “let the bass drop” instead of “let the beat drop,” wondering if he’s out of touch or if the ad writers messed up.

• Luke argues that while “let the beat drop” is more established, “let the bass drop” (citing T-Pain) is also a thing, especially in EDM—in fact, it's the bass that physically “drops” on the dance floor.

• Luke shares his side-stage Skrillex experience at Sasquatch, describing that cathartic moment of “the beat/bass dropping.”

  “I don’t want to brag, Andrew, but I’ve been on side stage with Skrillex, noted bass or beat dropper.” —Luke [08:22]

  “It’s like an orgiastic ecstasy not seen since that one scene in The Matrix…” —Luke [11:09]

3. Experiencing 'The Matrix' (and Red Dog Memories) [12:28–14:20]

• Andrew confesses he watched "The Matrix" “under duress” and thought it was overrated, but respected a friend who insisted. He ties in his youthful contrarianism and cheap beers (Red Dog).
• Luke appreciated "The Matrix" as a new frontier but wasn't one of those “this movie will change your life” guys.

4. Healthcare Logistics and Urban Transit Woes [14:20–22:31]

• Andrew mourns having to “reestablish care” with his favorite doctor who moved to Redmond—a cross-lake odyssey from Ballard, Seattle.

• The hosts riff on the absurdity of health system bureaucracy and the pleasures/miseries of public transport, with Luke providing route consulting and transit banter.

  “Do I follow my doctor over to Redmond… or do I find a new doctor at the facility convenient for me here in Ballard?” —Andrew [15:26]

• Andrew strategizes: Should he supplant three bus transfers with a long train ride? He’ll treat it as “study time” for a new book.

5. Houston Rideshare Hell [24:55–44:48]

• Luke relays two epic, awkward Lyft stories from Houston:

  1. Talkative Egyptian driver: Former international manager, now unable to find work, pours out loneliness, religious guilt, and confessions about sex work to Luke, desperate for personal advice.

     “He goes: ‘I just want someone to touch me. Just touch me on my head…’” —Luke [25:10]

  2. Cuban driver with language barrier: Unwittingly accepts much longer airport fare, gets increasingly frustrated, and blames the gig economy app hierarchy.

     “He marshals his English skills… ‘You’ll be okay for your flight? I’m not okay for gas.’” —Luke [35:52]

• Discussion of rideshare driver/consumer app inequity: “insight into rides” is a status thing (the more you drive, the more info you get). Both agree: the system doesn’t work for drivers or riders.

6. Dazzling Donors & Community Shout-Outs [46:18–59:42]

• Ride A Well Van Company: Seattle-based custom van builds for van life—plush to the max. Luke encourages more TikTok build-out progress videos.

• The Front Page (Austin): Schaefer’s pub celebrated for its food, drink, and community. The hosts debate “pub” vs. “tavern,” spiral into nostalgia about sketchy childhood bars, and end up defining what a “hobbit” establishment would be.

  “Tfw you're having a flagon of ale... you might be a hobbit.” —Luke [54:28]

• Listener Poetry: Schaefer Hall’s sonnet for Luke and Andrew is recited, complete with live lute music and inside TBTL references.

  “Warm as a jalapeño, hotter than a Cheeto / Happy as three boys and a gang of cats and dogs…” —Schaefer Hall, Sonnet [62:42]

7. Top Story: The Baklava Guy at Knicks Games [67:31–99:55]

• They dive into Pete Wells’ New York Times profile of “Roy Donk,” aka Jacob Comorrow, who became a cult figure hawking “Good Baklava” on the streets (and outside Knicks games), using sly sales lines and a branding scheme beloved by hipsters and sports fans alike.

  “Hi, I'm going to try to sell baklava to you and your baby.” —Roy Donk, as quoted in NYT [72:10]

• Andrew wishes the story delved deeper into the baklava supply chain; Luke’s convinced the “street hustle” is just brilliant marketing for a broader business.

  “I think, really, what it is. Him wandering the streets selling baklava off the plate…is probably more marketing than anything.” —Luke [96:56]

8. Knicks Playoff Mania & Celebrities at the Garden [67:34–87:49]

• They follow the tangent about the cost and exclusivity of NBA Finals tickets at Madison Square Garden (“courtside seats: money can’t even solve that anymore”) and the Knicks’ iron grip on who’s allowed to appear on camera.

• Spike Lee’s legendary devotion: He’s the rare celebrity who pays for all his own seats, so he can say whatever he wants about the team.

  “The Knicks can’t tell him shit.” —Luke [81:57]

• Reggie Miller vs. Spike Lee rivalry (choke gesture!), using vivid AI summaries and video reminiscing. Listeners get a primer on 90s playoff drama, with asides about hand signals in sports.

9. Baklava Details, Marketing & Merch [92:09–99:55]

• Andrew deep-dives the actual logistics: Is it good baklava or just a great shtick? Who bakes it? Is the merchant’s real genius in branding and street showmanship?
• Luke observes the “baklava guy” is emblematic of New York’s irresistible hustle, and the feature is as much about personality as pastry.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Generational Shifts:
  “I wonder, like, if I were to text Addie and say, is it let the beat drop or let the bass drop? She’d probably say both.” —Andrew [07:33]

• On A Legendary Lyft Ride:
  “He just wants…someone to touch him on the head… I’m like, well, maybe you can date someone and have that be the ground rules.” —Luke [25:10]

• On Taxi App Inequality:
  “Seeing what the ride is going to be is a privilege for higher level drivers. And higher level means driving more and picking up more fares.” —Luke [42:22]

• On 'Pub' vs 'Tavern':
  “You’re probably a hobbit if you’re having a flagon of ale.” —Luke [54:28]

• On Listener Poetry:
  “Warm as a jalapeño, hotter than a Cheeto. Happy as three boys and a gang of cats and dogs. Another year goes by, another 260 hours of two fellas talking. Oh, mom and dad, it’s so beautiful. And as ever, I am sorry for all the abusive language.” —Schaefer’s Sonnet [62:42]

• On Baklava Guy’s Sales Approach:
  “Hi, I’m going to try to sell baklava to you and your baby.” —NYT profile [72:10]

• On the Knicks, Spike Lee, and Courtside Seats:
  “Spike Lee has been buying his own courtside seats since they drafted Patrick Ewing. The Knicks can’t tell him shit.” —Luke [81:57]

---

Timestamps (Key Segments)

• 01:10 – Luke is home, marvels at the view, laments the lawn.
• 03:08–08:59 – Beat drop vs. bass drop: semantics, generational divides, and EDM lore.
• 14:20–22:31 – Andrew’s doctor moves to Redmond; navigating public transit; healthcare bureaucracy exposed.
• 24:55–44:48 – Luke’s legendary Lyft stories from Houston; rideshare gig economy analysis.
• 46:18–59:42 – Dazzling Donors: van builds, The Front Page in Austin, tavern/pub linguistics, listener poetry.
• 67:31–99:55 – NYT Baklava Guy profile; NBA Finals at MSG; celebrity ticketing politics; Reggie Miller vs Spike Lee.
• 99:55+ – Blursday messages: a community of birthdays, puppy kindergarten graduation, and inside-joke call-backs.

---

Memorable Soundbites

• “That's why I shouldn't be reading while I'm talking to you.” —Andrew [19:41]
• “He is totally unfazed by the fact that I’m telling him that I’m a TV personality here in the US…” —Luke [29:43]
• “If you’re having a flagon of ale, you might be a hobbit.” —Luke [54:28]
• “How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Maria? And in that sonnet, Schaefer has actually captured these sort of, these images and these ideas of the show…” —Luke [64:04]
• “I want to make sure you’re going to the correct location today for your appointment with Dr. Richter.” —Andrew, reading MyChart message [19:06]
• “That’s a big thing with Islam… you cannot have sex before marriage.” —Luke, quoting Houston Lyft driver [25:26]
• “I have no confusion about the fact that this is a marketing thing. His whole thing is… a cult of personality.” —Andrew [99:19]

---

Tone & Flow

The episode is classic TBTL: meandering, confessional, equal parts silly, self-effacing, sentimental, and sharply observational. Luke and Andrew riff on their own quirks and the absurdities of modern life, peppering insider anecdotes with loving nods to their listener community. Tangents are abundant—and the charm is in the journey, not just the destination.

---

Summary

If you missed this episode, you missed an authentic slice of TBTL at its best: debates about the language of DJ culture, rideshare tribulations, a health system Kafkaesque adventure, and the myth-making power of New York’s Baklava Guy. Listeners are treated not only to sports lore, laughter, and listener poetry, but also to the palpable camaraderie and quick wit that keeps TBTL’s weird, wonderful world spinning.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

But the point is, going out with your best friend's ex girlfriend while you still live with your best friend, that kind of thing would be considered a little weird here in the US Actually, it'd be quite weird in New Zealand as well. Jermaine used to think about that. I've told you, you know, when you're in a band, you don't get with your bandmate's girlfriend, past or present. Yes, well, thanks for that. You get a love triangle, you know, Fleetwood Mac situation. Although there was four of them, so more of a love square, but, you know, no one gets on. Okay. I see. Mind you, they did make some of their best music back then.

[Luke Burbank]

Rumors.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that's all true. TBT El,

[Luke Burbank]

This is a show for

[Andrew Walsh]

dogs, about dogs, starring one dog and one dirty dog.

[Luke Burbank]

So let's maximize our fun quadrant tonight.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's an amazing collection of bad ideas.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like we're just, like, in

[Andrew Walsh]

that tired mode where you're delirious and you're laughing at silly things. They say you snooze, you lose. But we snossed. Look what we lost.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just want to hug this show and never let it go.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Sooner or later, gentlemen, you will eat your words. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Bring it back home, baby. Bring it back home. Golly, feels nice to be home. I guess I was only out of the studio for three days. It feels longer for some reason, I guess because I was in multiple cities.

[Andrew Walsh]

But

[Luke Burbank]

it's a beautiful sight. The mighty Columbia and south Southern Washington. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. Tell you what's not beautiful, the lawn. Just when I get on top of it last week, I leave town and I come back and we've got a whole situation here. But, you know, I aim to fix that. But not before I've helped deliver episode 4742 in a collector's series to all of you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a guy selling baklava on the streets of New York City.

[Andrew Walsh]

Here's my sweet stache. Let's freaking party.

[Luke Burbank]

He's becoming kind of like a cult hero, actually. And he's using the name Roy Donk, which is why this story jumped off the pages of the New York Times for me. We will endeavor to get. We've had almost no success at getting to any of the top stories this week. But maybe today will be that day. I don't know. I'm back home, I'm feeling good, I'm ready to go. It's a blursday Thursday. It's my birthday today. So we got a lot going for us on the program today, including the fact that this guy is going to be joining us. He's the longest running cobra of the

[Andrew Walsh]

show, so explain that.

[Luke Burbank]

May be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I doubt you even remember this. With all of the travels you probably feel like you've crossed an ocean of time to get here today after everything you've been up to. But at the very.

[Luke Burbank]

In the parlance of Bram Stoker, at the. Although I don't think Bram Stoker really. Did he write that or did whoever wrote the screenplay for that?

[Andrew Walsh]

That I don't know. I've never, never gone to the source material on that. But at the very, I want to see the very end of yesterday's show. I said, oh, I have something I want you to arbitrate for me. Oh yeah, there's something between me and a radio commercial I've been hearing a lot and unfortunately I don't. I was hoping to maybe spend some time tracking down that radio commercial I was not able to do. So it's really hard to find archives of radio commercials on the Internet. And so anyway, but let me just explain it to you. But it turns out I don't need you to arbitrate it. The Internet arbitrated it for me.

[Luke Burbank]

Am I saying arbitrat one of well known accurate arbitrator. The Internet.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Internet. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

The place. The place where things are usually hashed out, I think in a fair, just and measured way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I posted it on X the everything app and just let the replies come in. No, I mean really what this has, this has become. It was going to be sort of a hey, what the heck is going on? This is bad copywriting. Right? To oh wow, Andrew is really loud wrong. Just loud wrong and out of it. I mean, listen to this. So this commercial and I can't even remember what it's for. Although it doesn't really matter to the story. There's a series of. There's like a campaign going on for some product or service where the point is it's kind of along the lines of like okay is not good enough or whatever. Like those old AT&T commercials and it starts off with a voiceover saying a good DJ wouldn't let the bass drop poorly. Or something along the lines of that it's just like. And then they'll like play a bunch of music. Because radio commercials are different than TV commercials, right? They're always looking for, like, ways they can illustrate things using audio cues instead of video. Right? And I do think that that's an interesting. I do think that's an interesting thing about radio ads and the way they always still feel antiquated because they're just not the same as TV ads. And so even though I said that in a very awkward way, the point is something like, you know, a good, A good DJ is always gonna make sure the bass drops right? Or something along the lines of that the awkward way I said that wasn't my problem. And then they'll play like a build up to like, you know, a club and you hear the beat is about to drop and then it drops. But instead of being good, it's like some sort of like hillbilly music, you know what I mean? Or old timey, something with accordions or something like that. No offense to hillbillies. Don't come at me. Do hillbillies have Internet? Are they going to be emailing me?

[Luke Burbank]

I believe we have at this point electrified most of hillbilly country.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I'm blocking any emails that come in from hillbilly.net. all of that is to say she doesn't say beat drop. She says bass drop. And I was like, bass drop? Don't you mean beat drop? Like, what is this something people are saying? Is this something the kids are saying now? Let the bass drop. And then as I googled like just like 10 minutes ago before we dialed up, I was like, oh yeah, I gotta see if I can find that commercial. I type in something about radio commercial bass drop. And I see that what? T. Pain had a song 20 years ago called Let the Bass Drop. Apparently people have been letting the bass drop for a long time. I always thought beats dropped. I didn't know you could drop bass.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like maybe this is an age thing. But first of all, I don't think T. Pain writing one song 20 years ago necessarily exonerates the people who wrote this commercial. Because I would say, because there's also. Let the beat drop is.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I would say there are more songs that say let the beat drop than the bass drop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, I do know that. I don't question whether or not let the beat drop is a thing. I'm not worried about, like, has I Berenstein bared myself or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on, let me put on my sunglasses and get my two scoops of raisins.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Exactly. And so I knew that let the beat drop was a thing, but I was like, oh, was this written by somebody who thinks it's bass instead of beat and it made it through the system? That seemed wrong to me. Even as bad as some commercials can be, I was like, that doesn't seem right. But I looked generational as well.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder, like, if I were to text Addie and say, is it let the beat drop or let the bass drop?

[Andrew Walsh]

She'd probably say both. That's why I'm not trying to set it up as an either or. I'm trying to set it up as was bass drop. Has this been a thing? And if you just write bass drop, you get a lot of people talk about how long does it take for the bass to drop or whatever. You see? You know what I mean? People are using it. What is a bass drop? A drop in music. A drop or a beat drop in music? In edm. Okay, that doesn't. That's Wikipedia. Wikipedia is not on board with the.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? Honestly, Unfortunately, Andrew, I think I'm gonna have to almost maybe even side with the ad wizards who wrote this one. Because if I'm thinking about it, there can be a beat in the build up to when the bass drops. It is not. Because really what's dropping is a massive. Like, I don't want to brag, Andrew, but I've been on side stage with Skrillex, noted bass or beat dropper. And now I know you're also. You're right. And I'm right. There are lots of songs that say let the beat drop, so it's been called the beat. But I think if we're being super duper kind of specific about it, wouldn't you say that? Like, when there's like, you know, it's. Let's just say it's some kind of, like, electro house. What's the. What is the kind that, like, Skrillex specifically did not dub step. But I don't know if I would

[Andrew Walsh]

know if you say there was a

[Luke Burbank]

term for that particular kind anyway, you know, it's basically something is building and building and building and building and building and building. And this moment when the beat or bass drops and everybody goes crazy, everybody throws their glow sticks in the air, which I'm not gonna lie, is pretty fucking cool and kind of cathartic. Like, I was at this was, you know, back when we had some kind of sneaky backstage access to Sasquatch many years ago. And by the way, my friend Lynn Resnick just randomly sent me a photo the other day of me and Brittany Murphy from the Alabama Shakes backstage there. And you probably were part of that one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I recorded that one. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was just like, it wasn't. We weren't in the act of recording. It was maybe afterwards. And I was just like, oh, my God, my hair was so brown.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mm.

[Luke Burbank]

I was so. And then I sent the picture to Becca. I was like, you know, I guess I don't know what I was hoping for from. But she goes, wow, you look really out of it in that picture.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, well, that's also probably true. That's probably, you know, day four of a nine day bender or whatever.

[Andrew Walsh]

But in fact, I'm pretty sure I could be wrong. But when you started winding up for this story about Sasquatch, I think you're talking about, I think you and Genevieve were both maybe in the crowd for this big bass, drop, beat, drop, Skrillex situation. Oh, was that Skrillex? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm thinking of a different one. But I know there was another time where you and Genevieve were in the middle of a dance crowd and beats were dropping and you guys had also. You guys had also gotten into some things and I was not with you. I think I was maybe standing. I was standing somewhere else kind of out of the crowd. And then you guys kind of came out of the crowd. Like you had just survived something. Sort of like it was relics. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But we went. Somehow we were side stage and I was. At that time, I was not really up to speed on. There were these two. There was. I think it was Skrillex, and then there was another DJ whose name is Feed them with Teeth. And you know me, that's already like, no, thanks. That already sounds a little hard rock to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're still getting used to the Violent Femmes to this day.

[Luke Burbank]

I just have my suspicions.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So I remember. I think maybe it was like, you know, one of them feed me with. Feed them with teeth. Feed somebody with something. And. And also like maybe a different night. Skrillex or whatever. The same night or the same Bill. But I just remember being up there kind of on the side of the stage and watching this throng of people and. And. And kind of experiencing the buildup of all of this energy towards this moment of when is this base going to drop or beat going to Drop. And then it does and everyone like throws their glows. They go into. It's like a orgy. Orgyistic ecstasy not seen since that one. That one scene in the Matrix when everyone's on Zion and they're just like, just in the full. Like they've just dosed this entire crowd with Molly or something. You remember that scene from the Matrix? No vibing and grinding.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm all over the place. I cannot find any. Like, I. Google will not play ball with feed them with teeth at all. Like I'm typing in edm. Feed them. I'm typing in EDM teeth. I'm typing Google. If you type in feed them with teeth, you get some advice on teething babies, which I'm actually interested in. So I'm going to bookmark these teeth. Feed me with teeth. Okay. Is that it? You find?

[Luke Burbank]

I. I think I. I threw out a few different options. Yeah, this is definitely a person.

[Andrew Walsh]

Feed me with teeth. Oh, feed me with teeth. That's. That's what that is. Okay, gotcha. I was just curious what the. What that was. To answer your question about the Matrix, I saw it under duress one time on video cassette. Yeah. I had a friend who was like way, way too into it when it kind of came out. And I was just. I was. I just remember being very leery of the whole thing. And then I finally sat down and watched him with them. And I remember the whole time just being like overrated. But I don't know, I was maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, being red built, you took too many red pills.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe one less was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I honestly, you know what I was on. I'm not even joking. I bet you I had taken too many red. Oh shoot.

[Luke Burbank]

Stripes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Not red stripes, but it was a beer that had red dog. Wasn't Red Dog a kind of. It was like the cheap beer you could get in bottles. It was the cheapest bottled beer you could get in the early 2000s or late 90s, I think. Anyway, I was red dogged is the problem.

[Luke Burbank]

I think I saw. I was never one of those, you know, I was never one of those guys for whom the Matrix was like my favorite movie or it defined me or how I thought about life. But I must have seen it at just sort of the right time without too much hype, because I remember thinking, wow, this is a. This is a really a new frontier of filmmaking also, first of all, just the concept I thought was very interesting from a kind of, I guess a sci fi perspective of, you know, basically living in a simulation and the legitimate question of, like, if we are living in a simulation and you find out, do you want to go back to the simulation unknowingly or do you want to be cursed to have the knowledge that it's a simulation? So for, you know, for its sort of over the topness and some of the things that I was like, this isn't, you know, exactly a subtle film. I think I enjoyed. I certainly enjoyed it more than you, but I also wasn't watching it with someone who was like, dude, this movie will change your life.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I really like the person, by the way. This was a friend of mine who I liked and I follow. He's. He, like, he introduced me to a lot of things. He introduced me to Radiohead kind of near the. I mean, they were. Whatever. The Benz was just coming out. Like. He was a man who I respected and admired and looked up to a lot. So I don't know why, I don't know why his obsession with the Matrix, but I think I was at that phase where I was kind of getting into maybe movies that other people didn't like as much. And so therefore I thought that anything mainstream was too mainstreamy. Hey, this is a huge change in the conversation, I promise you. I don't. I don't want to take up the rest of the show with this, but I just got a little bit distracted by something. And this was. This is related to something I was considering bringing up on the show today. I'm going to try to tell this story quickly. And then during the break, I think I'm going to have to make a quick phone call. But today is a weird day for me. Nothing's wrong. By the way, that sounded weird, but I've been. This day has been circled on the calendar for a long time because, as you know, Luke, I definitely mentioned this off air and I might have mentioned it on air. I. The doctor that I've been going to for the past couple of years who's like the first doctor that I really like and feel like I've actually gotten into a rhythm with my healthcare with. He is moving from the Swedish facility, the Swedish healthcare facility here in Ballard, which is like a pretty quick bus ride away for me to the fish facility over in Bellevue, to the Swedish fish facility. And it turns out every. All of his treatments, he could have

[Luke Burbank]

gone with chef or fish dresses up like a fish.

[Andrew Walsh]

He dresses up like a fish. Morgan throws chefs into my Swedish. No. And I know I told you this off air, but he is moving his practice over to Redmond for people who don't know this area, Redmond is on the other side of the lake. It's a city in and of itself. And I never go over to the east side, as we sometimes mention on the show, because I live in a smaller and smaller circle of my neighborhood. But I was like, I have a decision to make here. Do I find a new doctor at the facility that is convenient for me here in Ballard or. Or do I follow my doctor over to Redmond and then have to take, you know, what would it take? Like middle of the day, getting near rush hour. That's like a 45 minute drive probably when you include like getting out of this city and then getting over there. Maybe, maybe 30 minutes. I don't know. You can tell me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Very traffic dependent. But you could, you could, you could jam over on i5. Probably. It'd probably take you to 520.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And take you across versus going over, you know, north. But anyway.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's exactly. And actually that 520 thing is sort of relevant depending on how far we get into this. But I've had it circled on my calendar. Cause I'm like, okay, now I didn't really need a doctor's appointment right now. I'm not going there for anything other than. And this does speak to the medical system that we live in these days. And it's so jacked up. Both of these facilities are Swedish facilities. They're the same company. But because the doctor is moving and setting up his practice across the lake in Redmond, I now was told that I sort of have to treat this like I'm a new patient with him. I have to now reestablish care in Redmond with my current doctor. And for the past like three months, he is still sort of been in this gray area of like, yeah, kind of overseeing my prescription refills and stuff like that. But like, I need to reestablish care with him at the Redmond facility, which is ridiculous in a lot of ways. And so I've had this appointment which is basically established care with your new doctor in Redmond. And. And I was planning on probably driving over there. We now have a train that goes from Seattle to Redmond. But I was looking at that today, and it turns out that, like, taking a series of buses is actually quicker than taking the train because the train goes so far south and crosses 90 instead of 520 like you just mentioned. And so I've had this big. It's at least a 90 minute trip without a car, you know, using Public transport to get over there. And Genevieve needs the car for the last day of puppy kindergarten to. So this is a lot of detail, but I have been trying to figure out it is also $100 Lyft ride for me to get to the Redmond campus. So I'm not going to do that, obviously. So this morning I've been like, I don't know, am I going to take a series of buses that shave a little bit of time off of this, or do I just take the really long train ride? And I have this book that I need to read anyway, so I can just like, kind of be in one place. And I was going to ask you your opinions on this whole thing, but the reason I'm distracted right now is I just got a phone call. I felt my phone buzzing while we were talking, and I didn't recognize the number, so I just sent it to voicemail. And then immediately I got an email from MyChart. Everybody knows what MyChart is, right? It's like the way your doctors communicate with you. And it just says, hello, Andrew, I just want to make sure you're going to the correct location today for your appointment with Dr. Richter. That's his name if anybody wants to stalk me or him.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, from the scale.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, the scale guy. And it says, sweet.

[Luke Burbank]

No wonder you're following him. That's a big name.

[Andrew Walsh]

And it says Swedish Prime. Oh, my God. This whole story was stupid. No, they are confirming that I'm going to Redmond. I thought she was saying, you really like the bass drop on. I really did. I thought she was saying, I need to make my way over to Ballard one last time, not Redmond.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be amazing.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's what I thought. That's the whole.

[Luke Burbank]

You had to go to Ballard to check in to make sure they knew that you were going. You had to check in with your phlebotomist. You don't like Kim Ballard to then go to Redmond.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's why I shouldn't be reading while I'm talking to you. I thought that this whole thing is. This has been a whole pain. Like, I'm like, how am I going to get over there today? Do I take the long, like 90 minutes to get to a doctor's appointment is kind of bs, to be honest with you. I mean, again, it's because I don't have access to the car today. But that's, you know, we're a one car family. That's not uncommon either. So I guess I do have to

[Luke Burbank]

make sure we Also have Veeves could take Lucy in an Uber. Their dog friendly Ubers, it's right there on the street. And that might be a lot cheaper

[Andrew Walsh]

to go to go to the.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I don't know what that runs from your house, but there are maybe other solutions too. But I'm with you on the, like, if you can just like, I think the train is maybe the way to go. Or what I was gonna say is I actually just, I read many, many, many pages of this Jeff Chang book last night on my flight home from Houston to here, which is for Livewire. Tonight we're at the Alberta Rose Theater. He wrote this book about Bruce Lee. And sometimes for me it's like when I'm trapped on a, you know, a sort of a conveyance or a mode of transport where I'm not driving it, it's a really good time for me to just like get into something. So you could almost just see it as like study time.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, that's what I have been doing. Yeah. Like I said, this has been sort of circled on my calendar and my mental calendar in a way that's been a little bit of a stressor. But also like, okay, I have a plan for this. I've been waiting for this book to show up in the mail so that I can actually sit down with it and start taking notes on it and whatever. And so the book just showed up two nights ago and I'm like, okay, my plan is to really get into this on my long ass commute over to the east side so I can reestablish care with the doctor that I've been seeing for two and a half years or whatever. So that is my plan. And I think I'm going to take the longer route. Like I don't want to take a bus to a bus right now. It's like bus to a train to a bus that takes me over the lake back to another bus to get there or whatever. So I think or get on a

[Luke Burbank]

train and just like sit there and

[Andrew Walsh]

it adds a little bit more time because it goes all the way south to 90. But I'm just going to do that and I'm going to sit in the train. And then once I arrive in Redmond, I'm just going to call a lift. I think, like, unless the bus shows up right there, last mile it and just like get over there. And I might even just because I've never done this trip before, I'm also sort of excited to take the train across the lake. Right. Like, that's not something we get to do a lot. And so what? I'm just gonna leave.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that's the only. The only train of its kind that goes across a floating bridge. Right? Doesn't it?

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe so, actually. I believe so. Because there aren't that many floating bridges, I don't think, in the world, generally speaking. So my plan is just to get out of here right after the show and just. I'm gonna just buffer the hell out of this day and I'm gonna take the book over there because I don't know when I'm gonna have a lot of time to just sit down and dig into this. If I can get through, like, half this book or something today. Find a. I'll bet you, Red. Do you think there are any cafes in Redmond, Luke? Now that's a.

[Luke Burbank]

Not since the anti Cafe Law of 2015.

[Andrew Walsh]

People were hanging around those Redmond cafes.

[Luke Burbank]

People were just like. Yeah, they were sitting around. They were thinking. Big ideas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Too big.

[Luke Burbank]

They were planning to overthrow the Redmond city council. They were going to take over the means of production. They were smoking clove cigarettes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, exactly. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

What you don't want to do is, Andrew, if you can avoid it. I would say try to stay off of Lyft and Uber in the city of Houston, Texas, which is something I've been doing a lot of lately with very mixed results. Two of the more memorable and not maybe in the greatest way Lyft rides that I've had in a while were both in Houston the last two days. Monday and then. Well, I guess in the last. Yeah, Monday and Wednesday. Monday I was going out from the hotel to where we were filming. The thing about Houston, I was telling you, is that it's got this big freeway loop around it, and somehow it's just like every. Wherever I am in Houston, I'm on the. It's. Think of it as a clock. And wherever I am in Houston, I'm trying to get to the other side of the clock for some reason. And it's just a nightmare of, like, sort of not efficient road travel for some reason. And there's a lot of traffic. So the. On Monday, I get in a car with a very friendly and talkative guy, which is cool. You know, I. I enjoyed talking to him to some degree, but we kept getting into these conversations that I didn't really know how to get out of or how to sort of relate to him. He was a guy. He was from Egypt originally, was living in the Houston area because his wife had gotten A job in the. In the oil industry in Houston. And he is an electrical engineer by training. And he's telling me this whole story about their kids and how they had lived in Dubai together. And he had this amazing job where he managed, like, 500 people and was traveling the world, and now he's in Houston and he can't get a job. No one will hire him. And, you know, part of me is like, that's just so weird to go from being someone who's the boss of 500 people to, like, no one will hire you. Like, I'm already just like, I wonder what's going on with this story. It could be true. It could be his version of events. He's telling me about his kids, which is great. And then his wife, somehow that comes up again. He goes, it's kind of a sad story because we're divorced now. And I said, oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. He goes, yeah, she got over here, and she just wanted too much freedom. And I was like, ooh, all right. Well, I don't know how to really process that information. And he's like, and I have the kids now, and they don't see her. We don't even know where she is. It's just me and the kids. And he goes, I just want someone to touch me. Just touch me on my head. I'm very lonely. And I was like, well, maybe you can date someone, and they'll touch you on your head. He goes, that's a big thing with Islam is, you know, the number one rule is you cannot have sex before marriage. And I said, well, maybe you don't have sex. Maybe just, like, have that be the ground rules of the relationship.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're really engaging. You're really offering. There's no Solution.

[Luke Burbank]

I have 40 minutes with this guy. What am I supposed to do? He's telling me how he just wants. He's lonely and wants someone to touch him on the head and. But not have sex with him. And I'm like, well, maybe that can be the.

[Andrew Walsh]

The. The rules.

[Luke Burbank]

He goes, but. But then I don't know if I can trust myself. And I was like, well, that's kind of on you. You're gonna have to figure that one out. Then he's. I go, you know, I come from the Christian background, which is like, you know, all sins are equal. Like, coveting something is the same as murdering someone. I go, is that how it is in Islam? He goes, no, no, no. There's, like, a couple. There's a couple that are like unforgivable. He goes, one is like sex outside of marriage and the other is drinking alcohol. And he goes, you know, I do drink alcohol sometimes. And I'm like, well, the heck, bro, you're drinking alcohol.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're talking about soaking. I did.

[Luke Burbank]

I got some friends in Utah that I'm gonna put on speakerphone.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're giving them pamphlets.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I'm really like, he's so. And this is not the kind of conversation where I can just stare out the window and not respond. Like he very. So it's like, okay, so let me understand this, my friend. So you're very, you know, you're raising your kids. You. He. And I'm like, well, why wouldn't you move back to, you know. He goes, my friend. He goes, my friends are calling me all the time from Dubai saying like, we want to give you a job, we want to hire you again. I go, well, you can move back there. He goes, well, I don't want my daughter to grow up there because it's just. I go back there and I can't even handle it anymore. It's so much better for her in the West. And I'm like, okay, good, this is a positive. I'm glad you're thinking about it this way. But then he's like, so there's only two unforgivable sins in his love. He's one is it drinking alcohol and the other is having sex outside of marriage. He goes, but, you know, sometimes I drink. And I'm like, well, you're already, you're already going to hell then. I didn't say that, but I'm thinking, what is going on with you that like. So I go, I go, well, again, maybe you can date someone and this have there be ground rules or something. And he's like, yeah, but I don't know if I can trust myself. Then he starts telling me stories of like when he used to travel for work when he was an international electrical engineering superstar and how he would, let's just say, visit various places where there was various levels of like sex work going on and engaging with it. And I'm just like, I don't know, I'm just like, look, I'm feverishly updating the app for how close are we to the restaurant where we're filming? Because again, it was like I had, I had no useful information to offer this guy other than, bro, whatever you, whatever, whatever rules you think you're following, you're not doing a good job, so either friggin relax and Live your life or get way better at being a Muslim because based on your description of things, you're doing a bad job of it, but feeling bad all the time, but your life is ruined, but also you're not exactly sticking to the rules. What are we doing here?

[Andrew Walsh]

He just likes the sound of his own voice, too, I think. If he. I mean, there.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is fine. If he wants to talk about soccer, what do you talking about? Wanting his head touched and massages he's received.

[Andrew Walsh]

I honestly, no offense, in Thailand, I know that you know way more about soccer than I do, but I feel like you have more to offer in this conversation than you do in a conversation about soccer, don't you?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, let's just tell you. Let me tell you what, Andrew. I have a lot to offer on a variety of topics.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, you do.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's Monday. And then. And then, by the way, this is the other thing. We're getting close. We're out in a very random part of Houston and that. I mean, like, it just kind of a. It's out in the farther reaches of Houston and we're on our way to this little mini kind of strip mall where there's this particular seafood restaurant that we're going to be filming at that's relevant to this Viet Cajun story. And like, as we're getting closer, I say to him, oh, yeah, well, you're taking me to this restaurant called Mike's Seafood, because I'm going to interview the owner because he's an immigrant from Vietnam who's kind of been big with this particular kind of cuisine, Viet Cajun. And we're doing a TV story. And I came out here from Portland and, like, absolutely no impact on him. And this is, to your point, Andrew, of. He just likes to hear his own voice. Like, I'm not saying he needs to ask for my autograph, but like the person who's in the back of your car being like, I'm here with a television crew to film at this restaurant about a style of cuisine, which, by the way, there I am with a. By the way. All that is to say, Andrew,

[Andrew Walsh]

I

[Luke Burbank]

don't even like to bring that up generally because with people that I'm getting a Lyft ride from or whatever, because I just don't. I don't know. I just don't really care to talk about it in anything to get us off of his particular relationship with sex work at his lab. And again, zero. He's. He is totally unfazed by the fact that I'm Telling him that I'm a TV personality here in the US and you're taking me to where a television shoot is going to happen. So that was Monday. And then yesterday we're filming at a different restaurant in Houston called Crawfish and Noodles. Really good, by the way. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Delicious Vietnamese food and Viet Cajun food. And I had this all figured out. I brought my suitcase, I brought my luggage there because I was gonna have to go directly from the restaurant to the airport. But I had enough time. I was like, as long as I'm. I had like wazed it and mapped it and I'd been like, this is about 35 minutes from the airport. My flight's at 557. As long as I'm in the car by like even four, I'm like, way ahead of the game. And the owner of the restaurant is just this absolutely lovely guy. And he just keeps wanting to feed us and the crew. So after we filmed me eating all this food with him, he then sets this huge table. He's closed the entire restaurant down for this film shoot. And he set this beautiful table with. For our sound guy, camera guy, producer, me, everybody, his son. Like, it's great, this. So there's now like a second wave of food and dining. And I don't want to be impolite. So I'm sitting there and I'm eating and I Look, it's like 3:00' clock right now. And I just like, I noticed it's been raining all day. Pretty, pretty heavy duty rain in Houston. And I just kind of think, well, let me just triple check what's going on with my, with my ride situation. And maybe it's 3:15 now. And I look down and it says, if I leave this minute, I will be arriving at the airport in Houston at 5:15. What is supposed to be a 35 minute ride is right now shaping up to be about one hour and 45 minutes or something, or one hour and 35, but it's got a full extra hour added to it. And I'm like, oh, shoot. So I immediately hit Go on the rideshare app. And luckily there's a guy who, it turns out is right across the street. I didn't know this. He's like having his lunch in his car at a different location, but close by. And so I say to everybody, hey, I just realized I got to hit the road right now. Traffic is going to be pretty nuts.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a flight. You really. Oh, wait, this is your flight to.

[Luke Burbank]

This is my flight. Home.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is your flight home? Yeah, because you said this is last night. Yes, this is a flight. You especially. I mean, listen, nobody wants to miss any flights, but, like, I'm just guessing that you are very excited to get on this flight home.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, more than that, I can't be in Houston this morning because I have Livewire tonight. So that's, like, why I was not traveling at all today. I cannot be stuck in Houston today because I have to go to this theater tonight in front of a bunch of people and do this show that will not be occurring if I'm not there. So I needed to be. I really needed to be, like, home in my own bed at whatever hour it occurred last night. Oh, by the way, when I got to the airport, not to jump to the end of the story, but waiting for the plane. And the first the lady comes on is like, all right, we don't have a crew yet, so everyone just hang on. They'll be here in a half hour. So we're waiting. The crew gets there. They board the plane. She goes, all right, everybody sit back down. Turns out the plane was struck by lightning on the way in, so we gotta double check that. Everybody sit back down. The plane was. I was like, we should double check the lightning strike. We should make sure that didn't fry anything. But. So I jump in the car. The guy pulls right up. I throw my stuff in the back. He's very gregarious.

[Andrew Walsh]

Does the car smell food? Does it smell like his lunch? I've had that before.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no. Although I might have been nose blind at this point, Andrew. I'd been eating all manner of food all day. Was stuffed, actually. I jump in the car. He's very gregarious, but there's a pretty severe language barrier. He is from Cuba. It turns out his English is pretty limited and my Spanish is very limited. What I really have to deploy, and it's a cute joke for a minute, but it wears thin pretty quickly, is, tu ingles? Esta mejor de me espanol. Your English is better than my Spanish. That is what I will often say. It will get a laugh. Now, the problem was I deployed that within the first two minutes of the ride, and we got about an hour, 40 minutes together. And what I'm realizing is this guy did not fully grasp what he was signing up for, picking me up, because, as I would come to learn over the course of the drive, he lived about 10 minutes away, maybe 5 minutes away from where he picked me up. He had just gone out to grab Some lunch and then was going to make a couple of extra bucks. And now he is locked in a like a hour and 30 to 40 minute rain soaked traffic drive. And it's making him crazy. He is going through all the different, he keeps checking different map, different map quests, you know, to see if there's a better one and what you know. And then he'll like track, he'll switch to like Google Maps and it'll say the same amount of time and then he'll say something in Spanish that I'm not fully tracking and then he'll like sort of in broken English like say something to me about like he's pointing out now as we're stuck in traffic, he's pointing out how far we are now getting from his house, how, how long the drive is going to be back to his house where he just was essentially. And I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. Like I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm googling. How do I say I'm sorry in Spanish? Like I don't really, like, I don't want to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it, is it Lucy?

[Luke Burbank]

That's what, that's what I'm, that's what they said on Ask G. I'm literally

[Andrew Walsh]

trying to reach back to my high school Spanish. I wasn't sure if I was like,

[Luke Burbank]

it is the tensest ride ever because he is, he's so annoyed about this. He's trying to tell me again where there's this tremendous language barrier that like in all his time driving Uber for which is a year or something, he has never seen traffic like this. It is never, I guess when it rains in Houston it's not, you know, something that everybody. It's also, it's rush hour, which is probably never great, but I guess this rain made it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean he's probably literally, not only is it inconvenient, he's probably literally going to lose money on this ride.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean that's the other thing he's telling me. Andrew. Yeah, I mean he literally, he marshals his English skills long enough because I'm saying he's like, he's like looking at the things like, oh my gosh. This. He's like, what time is your flight? And I go, my flight's at 5:57. I go, as long as we're there by 5:15, I think I'm gonna be fine. He goes, well, he goes, yeah, you'll be okay for your flight? I'm not okay for gas and I'm just Like, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you, buddy. Like, I. You, I mean, you could drop me off, I could try to call somebody else. Like, I don't want, I don't want to ruin your day. I don't want to cost you money. But I. All I did was use the rideshare service in the manner in which it was designed. And now you and I are on this hour and a half journey of like him just kind of like exasperatingly just like yelling things, but then also singing along with the music happily. Like he's listening to like Spanish language music. And sometimes he'll just be like, he's whistling along with the tune. He's singing along.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm like, okay, it might sound happy, but it actually is very dark lyrics and you just can't follow the lyrics.

[Luke Burbank]

What does El murder mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

Murderinos.

[Luke Burbank]

So he's like, it's like I'm now, I am now in this, in. I'm in this bubble with him where I'm constantly trying to like understand his energy. Is it going? Is he getting more mad? Is he cool with it? He's also kind of road raging. Every time we get into a stretch of freeway that's not super packed, he's flooring it. He's mad at people in the left lane. He's pulling a real Andrew. People that are not driving fast enough in the less in the left lane. What he's really mad about is people in any lane of the freeway who are leaving too much room between their car and the car in front of him. In his estimation, he really feels like everyone should be driving more closely together because we can just hit the brakes when we need to.

[Andrew Walsh]

That doesn't save time. I'm not on board with that. And by the way, I just want to be very clear. It's not about how fast you drive in the left hand lanes. It's whether or not you're actually passing somebody.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so in other words, you think that even. So. So don't be in the left lane at all unless you're passing someone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like the left. If, if you're not passing someone, get to the rightmost lane that matches your speed. And if somebody's.

[Luke Burbank]

So it's not.

[Andrew Walsh]

If it's a three lane road and you're. And you're going 55 and the car in front of you is going 55, you don't have to be like neck and neck with them or like going the same speed but right behind somebody who's to the right of you, just get in line on the right and let the people one lane over to the left go 60 and then let people in the one lane over the left go 65. It is, it is literally if you are on a highway and you find yourself sort of on a hill and you can look down, you can see traffic being backed up for miles sometimes because there's just some Pacific Northwestern or just putzing around in the left hand lane going the same speed as everybody to the right of him. It doesn't make sense.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this guy was pretty frustrated with. But then again, he would like make some sort of joke to me, you know, that seemed light hearted. And we would kind of again try to meet in the middle of our language barrier. And then we would be kind of chill, but then it would be like I could just like he just had this kind of just like annoyance vibrating off him about the situation. But again, it was like on some level it was my fault, I guess, because I called him and he came to get me. But on the other level, I was like, I just don't really know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about the situation other than say, like, do you want to drop me off? At this point, we're now like, we're closer to the airport than we are back to his house. Right. You know, so it's like, it probably makes more sense for him to just push through and then take an airport ride after this. But it was like. And then we get to the place, we get to the airport and we jump out and I like shake his hand. I'm like, hey, thank you so much, man. Or whatever. I'm pulling my luggage out and I kind of was hoping this will be the moment where like, he laughs or like, maybe his stress level has finally dropped because, like, we're here, it's done. And he kind of gives me sort of a half smile, but not really like, like it was not the. It wasn't the full sort of like, hey, everything is. This has all been, what an adventure. We'll tell our kids about this someday.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was more like, because you're at your destination, he still has to get all the way back.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. But he fucking works for them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, this is the deal. This is. What I don't fully understand is, so I blame the system just straight up, like, I just think that these, these rideshare services are not doing enough to actually take care of the people who are working for them. And they would even say that they don't work for them. They would say that they're like contractors or whatever. I mean, that's where the real blame lies for all of this kind of mishegoss. But it was my understanding, and this is where I'm very confused about this, because when we first started taking rideshare services, or they were newer, it was my understanding that as some sort of protection to the customers originally, that the drivers would not be able to pick and choose which rides they picked up. Like the app. If their app was on and there was somebody requesting a ride nearby, they would have to take it, and they wouldn't find out until they accepted the ride that, oh, this one's going to the airport, or this one's going 20 minutes away. And I thought that that was supposed to be a, you know, like, again, a protection for the consumer. But obviously there are huge flaws in that, and you run into issues like this guy had. So it was my understanding that that has changed and has been changed for a long time that a driver can see for this exact reason. It doesn't make sense if somebody's like, well, I just want to pick up a couple of rides around my neighborhood and then call it a day. You don't want to pick up a ride that is 90 minutes away. You understand how that is an absolute loser of affair for you when you're paying for gas and time and everything, to go all the way out there and not get a ride back, to not get a fare, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, he is going to the airport, and when he was driving me up, his thing was already chiming for next ride.

[Andrew Walsh]

For the next ride to where he needs to go, though.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, who knows? But at least, you know, he wasn't like, he could have been driving me 90 miles to a cornfield, which would have been even worse because at least he's going to a place where there's more rides. But here's how that works in my understanding, Andrew. And again, this goes back to these. These rideshare companies, you know, exerting their leverage in every possible direction on the people who do the driving. It's one of those status things. So the higher status you are with the app as a driver, the more insight have into what the rides are.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, God damn, this sucks.

[Luke Burbank]

So if you're at the top level, if you drive a lot, then you get to see where the rides are, then you can turn down more rides because you can see, oh, I don't want to go there. You can also there's I've had riders, drivers tell me that. Let's say that he, on the drive home, he only wanted to go back in the direction of his house. You can set something in the thing that will only offer you rides. And this I don't think is a status thing going in a direction. So let's say that you drove someone really far away from your home base. Now you're trying to get back home. You can basically set it up so that it's only offering you potential rides that are taking you back in that direction. So you're not going to get another one that's going to take you even further out, is the theory or the possibility. But yeah, basically that becomes a privilege. Seeing what the ride is going to be is a privilege for higher level drivers. And higher level means driving more and picking up more fares.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so wrong. It just seems like you should be able to look at a fare before, for everybody involved. For you as well. Luke, you know what I mean? This would have been better if a driver had seen, oh, this is an airport ride. And I can't do that right now, especially in this kind of extreme weather and everything. You shouldn't have to earn the right to be treated like a responsible employee or whatever. That, the whole thing that, that whole. I mean, I agree that it sucks for you. And the thing is you're leaving from a, you're leaving from an area that is like downtown or whatever, right? So the idea of him getting a ride from the airport back to his neighborhood, he's probably got a pretty good chance of getting a fare back.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know, because I'm not in downtown. I'm in this neighborhood called Bel Air, which is where the restaurant is. I'm not like, I'm not in a huge sort of like, I don't know, you know, business, hotel kind of dense area or something. It's more a lot of restaurants and stores and some residential stuff. It just happens to be, I think, close to his residential situation. But yeah, I mean, it's a bummer all around. I mean, like I said, I empathize with the guy. I really do. But I also just like, like the two most tense rideshare rides I've had in maybe six months, both happened in two days in Houston. So I would just say enjoy your time on the train today, Andrew. It's going to be relatively stress free.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sounds good.

[Luke Burbank]

Comparatively, we was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On Your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set. Get set now.

[Luke Burbank]

Ready? Ready. By the way, Bram Stoker did not write the line, I've crossed oceans of time to find you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hmm.

[Luke Burbank]

It was written for the screenplay of

[Andrew Walsh]

Bram Stoker's Dracula, though.

[Luke Burbank]

Bram Stoker's Dracula. And according to somebody on Reddit, Gary Oldman, who played Dracula. Oh, yeah, literally liked that line so much. That's why he wanted to be in the Francis Ford Coppola movie.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I hope they gave a raise to the person who. Oh, you know, speaking of going back to things, my whole plan was to play this. Letting the beat drop. Going into the.

[Luke Burbank]

Letting the beat drop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's when that was a sound effect I found online that said it was letting the beep drop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can I hear that was actually a bass drop. My apologies. See, I.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on. Let me get my glow stick.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, here it is. This is bass drop sound effect from

[Luke Burbank]

Build up to it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's four seconds long. You get what you. You get what you. Wait, wait, wait, wait. We need to build. I don't know. I'm feeling good.

[Luke Burbank]

That makes one of us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, we got to thank some dazzling donors. These people are donating a dazzling amount of dough to support the program, and that's. That's what keeps this whole thing going five days a week. 100% listener supported podcasting, thanks to Ryan Wells, who's in Seattle, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, Ryan, you want to go over to Redmond with me today?

[Luke Burbank]

Ryan, could you give Andrew a ride to Redmond?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. Give me a ride. Never occurred.

[Luke Burbank]

But then you sit in the back of the car, you read your book, you do not talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I sit in the back of the. I sit in the back of the truck. I'm in the bed. I'm in the bed of the truck with the chickens.

[Luke Burbank]

I miss those days. As a kid, as a teen, we used to ride around in the lot in the back of a lot of pickup trucks.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did that a ton. I remember riding in the back of a pickup truck throwing, like, out in the country and throwing yellow pages. It was like a boy scout thing or something. We would deliver them. We would deliver phone books, and we would just throw them off the back of.

[Luke Burbank]

The new phone books are here. The new phone books are here. Ryan says, dear Andrew and Luke, thank you for being constant companions in my earbuds since 2011. Wow. I truly appreciate everything you do for the tens community. For my donor message, I would like to shout out my small business, located in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle. Our industry has been discussed often on TBTL over the years, including the infamous Delica van trip. We specialize in custom van builds, converting cargo and crew vans into tiny homes on wheels equipped with all the comforts of home, including air conditioning, heating, refrigeration, high speed Internet showers, and more. Gosh, Andrew, if I just had a Sprinter van, I could have driven myself from the restaurant to the airport. I could have stayed there overnight in Houston. I could have driven to the airport. I don't know what I do when I get to the airport, but still sounds like better than what I was going.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you put the van on the front of the plane like they put bikes on the front of buses?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's a great question. I think we could probably. I could ask Alaska Airlines about that. We frequently build out Mercedes Sprinters and Ford Transits. While we don't necessarily recommend Mitsubishi Delicas, please see TBTL for a review on those. Well, here's what I would say. Delicas are great. Don't drive them through the Sonoran Desert.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

On an extra hot day, as we did, our builds provide the ideal environment for comfortably listening to your favorite podcast on the go. If you or anyone you know is interested in van life, please check out Ride A well Van company. That's pronounced Ride A well. See Ryan Wells, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

You see, I like it.

[Luke Burbank]

Ryan Wells, Ride a well Van Company.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

At Ride O L dot com, that's R Y- dash A W-E-L dash L dot com Ride A well dot com and follow along on our work on Instagram at Ride A well. Thanks and love you. Ryan. In Seattle, I'm on the Instagram page. This stuff is so freaking cool, man. What did a comedian write?

[Andrew Walsh]

This. What did a comedian write? So come up with freaking cool.

[Luke Burbank]

I love this so much. Ryan, I don't know if you're already doing this, but if not, could you Please start a TikTok page where you take us through these builds and I promise you I'll be your number one. I will smash that like and subscribe button. That's the kind of stuff that I really, really like watching on TikTok is sort of step by step, like progression. I'm watching this woman right now in, I think she's in the Northeast. She bought an old runabout, which is kind of the name for like a. A motorboat, but kind of like a cool old, you know, wood one, the style that I like, or fiberglass one, kind of like from the 1950s and 60s. And she's turning it into a coffee cart. So she's, she's building it out so that it's gonna be like you kind of come up to this very cool runabout boat, but it's actually got a fully functioning fridge and coffee thing. And it's just, it's fascinating. And I just love. First of all, could you go a little faster, please? Cause I'm dying to see the next reveal. But like, I love watching these. What would you call it? Progress. Progress content. Like where someone starts with, let's just say a Mercedes van that's not built out at all and then adds in all of these elements that Ryan is talking about. I really, really love that kind of stuff. So, Ryan, thank you for the support. Everybody go check out ride a well.com or follow Ryan on Instagram. And yeah, support Ryan for supporting us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thanks, Ryan.

[Luke Burbank]

Maestro.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now.

[Luke Burbank]

Ready, ready, go. Everybody rattle dazzle. Oh, my goodness gracious. It's our pal Schaefer hall in Austin, Texas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, of the front page fame.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Schaefer says seven years of dazzling donations means seven years at the front page. Thanks to all the tens who have come by over the years. And we look forward to seeing more of you in the future. So the front page, for the few people who don't know is Schaefer's. Amazing. Would you call it a bar and restaurant? A pub and restaurant? I think it's a newspaper that features a bar and restaurant.

[Andrew Walsh]

I always think of it as a pub, but I want to, I want to be very specific. Austin pub. The front page.

[Luke Burbank]

Because here's the thing. I've been to the website of the front page and it looks. I, I don't want to tell Schaefer how to run his business because it's apparently been going great. When I hear pub, I don't sometimes pub. To me, I don't think pub fully describes all of the coolness happening at the front page. Having recently been to the website, Andrew, that's all I'm trying to say.

[Andrew Walsh]

You feel like a pub. Could that be your opinion on the word publisher?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, it is. Because when I was, when I was a young, a young man in his 20s, just getting into my, my going out life, sometimes in Seattle, pub meant does not have hard alcohol.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I was always like, miss me with that. That is not the case with the front page. They've got a full bar. I'm looking at it right now. And also sometimes pub. Who was Kind of like, you know, you hear about like pub fare. Like pub food could be a little underwhelming. It could be a thing of pretzels, it could be a. Whatever. I'm looking at the menu at the front page and it is. First of all, I'm very hungry. They did not. I was in coach last night. I didn't eat anything on the airplane. So I'm really hungry and I'm looking at their Southern Italian sandwich, I'm looking at their Greek salad, I'm looking at this food and I'm like, this looks like incredible, incredible handmade, delicious, fresh food happen at the front page. So just want to say they've got, they've got the hard alcohol, they've got a huge selection of beers and ciders and other things and they've got incredible looking food there at the front page.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you think of a tavern though as maybe being a place where maybe

[Luke Burbank]

I'm conflating tavern and pub because tavern was definitely a Miss me when I was.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know, I'm. Yeah, I don't know. Like when I think of a tavern, you know, I think of old timey. Right? Like I was going to say like a tavern because I was just trying to figure that out because I, I think you're, I think you're right or at least feels emotionally right to me, which is like the most we have going for us these days anyway that a pub would be. I mean first of all a pub has a cozy feel to it and this definitely look, I mean there's definitely some coziness here. Although looks like a very well lit place too, which is something I appreciate. But I see what you mean, that a pub kind of focuses on like maybe the, the beer and wine aspect of things as opposed to.

[Luke Burbank]

Or as a tavern coming out.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like a tavern is like you're traversing. Is that where tavern comes? No, it's different letters. But I feel like you're traversing. You're on a trek somewhere and you stop in at the tavern and you eat soup that you dunk big chunks

[Luke Burbank]

of bread into and then maybe you stay the night.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're probably a hobbit on your way

[Luke Burbank]

somewhere and you're having flagons of ale.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're probably a hobbit and you're probably having flagons of ale.

[Luke Burbank]

You might be right. A hobbit. Tfw. You're having a flag in a veil.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're having a flag in a veil, you might be a hobbit.

[Luke Burbank]

I think for Me, Tavern Layer. Seattle, Aurora. The. I God, please tell me somebody snapped a picture in vanishing Seattle back in the day. I don't think they did. I don't know if they did. When I was a kid growing up on Aurora Avenue, there was a tavern. This is where my whole conception of tavern comes from, I think. Anyway, it was called the Lion's Lair. And where it was was, you know where that PCC is on Aurora, Andrew? Across the street from where you got your computer one time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Isn't it a little bit further down? But yeah, yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

In that, let's say general area. So kind of like where the Purple store is. Or actually the purple store is now a mega church. But anyway, we'll call it 70 between 76th and Aurora and Winona. There's this, there's a PCC now that used to be called. It used to be a market that my mom was a checker at. It was like a little. It was called. I forget the name of the grocery store. But anyway, next to that when I was growing up was a place called the Lion's Lair Tavern. And it terrified me because it had very like you could not see in the glass. People were always smoking cigarettes standing around there. Now it's like, I think it's like a Scottish bar or something. It's called like last. The last time I remember clocking it, it was kind of like St. Andrews or something. It was some kind of a. Like, I think it was like a bar where people go to watch soccer or whatever. But anyway, it's still there.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's still there as a bar. You think? Oh, okay, I can't picture that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let's see. St. Andrews Bar, Seattle, Aurora.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wonder if it's worth me. Is it a bar worth.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it closed, I was gonna say

[Andrew Walsh]

because I feel like there was a time where I was like taking the E line down. Remember there was that like kind of quasi motorcycle bar. Speaking of places that didn't serve alcohol, they only. Well, I mean they served alcohol but only like beer.

[Luke Burbank]

That was, that was on 77th. That was literally on my street.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's. And Aurora. But that's. That's now like a cafe. I think the person who was running it ended up selling that. I think it might still serve a similar sort of motorcycle oriented community. But anyway, I remember always looking for like kind of bars that it would be easily to go to on the E line that would be down that way. And I don't remember seeing One. Can you tell if that St. Andrews is something else? Now. Now you suddenly got my attention.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, now. Good. And we have to win you back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew, just do this. Put in 7406 Aurora Avenue North. Put that into your Internet and then street view that and you'll see this place is now closed, apparently. But I think that the last of the street view photos was still. It was this St. Andrews place. It's this kind of blue building.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. I do recognize this place, but it is so soccer coded. Yeah, that it does. I think that I. I would see it and then immediately not see it. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

So it was when I was a kid. I don't even think it was both of these doors. I think it was just not even. I think it was just the one to the right. So not where the sign is. Not where the St. Andrews sign is, but there was another, like, it looks like they took over maybe two different business spaces.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

There's two red doors, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

In the red door on the right. That was not painted blue. It was. I seem to remember it being a. The wood was a depressing, sad brown, and then the brick was just red brick. And that was called the Lion's Lair Tavern. And it had like, you know, a couple of neon signs in the window and some, you know, let's just say probably a couple of. Some folks that were probably mid divorce spending a lot of time in there, just chain smoking there was my. I never went inside, but my idea was that my sense of it was there's probably a cloud of cigarette smoke that hung down to, I don't know, about six feet off of the floor just from constant chain smoking, beer drinking and sad storytelling. So that was my. And that was a tavern. That was where I learned the word tavern.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so. And it's on Aurora. And that is where travelers go. Right. Aurora was built sort of in that. In that era of.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of. I mean, obviously it's very different, but it's like Route 66. Sort of the idea of just like we live in a. In an America where Americans are in their cars all the time and like traversing this great country of ours. So I like that. The fact it was called a tavern there because it, you know, it fits into my whole. My whole, you might be a hobbit if theory of taverns. But because.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, but because it scared me initially. I've always been a little worried about the word tavern, which is great because Schaeffer's Place is called the Front Page and it's technically a pub, but it looks amazing. Schaefer says, thanks to the tens who have come by, we look forward to seeing more of you in the future. And I've had the opportunity lately to work on my other job poetry. So I wrote a sonnet for Luke and Andrew and I posted it on my ancient poetry blog. Now is the blog about ancient poetry or is it just an ancient.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's an ancient blog.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. For all the tens to see and for you guys to read if you would like. Shouldn't put me over my word count. You can find this at Schaeffer Hall. Schaeferhall.blogspot.com My full length book, Never Cry Woof can be purchased at the usual places. And there will be a new collection of poems forthcoming. Now that TFP isn't taking all of my time. I think that's short for the front page. And please note that sonnets come in many forms. Don't at me for my meter or rhyme scheme. Hey guys, don't come at Schaeffer, please for his meter or rhyme scheme. I had no idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can't make that promise.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm coming at you. I had no idea Schaeffer was also a poet. In addition to. In addition to running this successful business in Austin and all the other things. Now, Andrew, do you want to. I was the one who got to. Didn't have to, got to sing a Justin Timberlake parody song about bringing old segments back. Would you like to read the sonnet for Luke and Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. Let me get. Let me click on this here. Okay, I was getting some blurs days ready here. Somebody wrote in a very, very long poem to their beloved. And I was trying to get that. Beat that into shape a little bit here. But how's that for poetic? All right, here it is. I got it right here. This is. This was posted on May 9, 2026. So not. Not long ago. Less than a month ago. And it's called Hot off the presses Sonnet. Sonnet for Luke and Andrew. That's very appropriate for a front page reference.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we have any sonnet music? Let me see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was sort of thinking. I mean, I do have this.

[Luke Burbank]

Hold on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that the mood you were looking for?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I just threw my hand.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, that's great.

[Luke Burbank]

That bass really dropped.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's see, what do we have? I mean, I just keep going to this Dixieland strut, which we don't like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not sonnet music.

[Andrew Walsh]

It needs to be lutey. What do you have for a loot.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you have any loot music?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm looking.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luke. Give me the loot. Give me the loot.

[Luke Burbank]

I got. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. I've got Butterfly instrumental. This is what happens when I put an instrumental. I've got some music from air. I've mind is playing tricks on me Instrumental. Europe instrumental. That's probably the final countdown. I got Baby got back instrumental.

[Andrew Walsh]

This was said it was peaceful loot music but this seems too I got

[Luke Burbank]

My heart will go on instrumental. Oh, this is good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, here.

[Luke Burbank]

Perfect.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, here we go. Here we go. This is. This is a. Give me the loot. Give me the loot. I thought that was a pretty good joke and so I'm going back to it as I continue to look for these reference to. Oh, that Biggie song. Give me the loot. Give me the loot.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think I know that one. He wrapped about money. Huh?

[Andrew Walsh]

Am I wrong? That's off of he only had one record. Right? Wasn't that his.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe you. I believe you. I'm not a Biggie. I'm not a big geologist.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, here we go. This is a poem to Luke and Andrew. Yeah. Mfers better know. I'm a bad, bad, bad. Lock your windows, close your doors. Biggie Smalls. There's a chance I'm on the wrong tab here that those were the lyrics to Give me the loot. This is sonnet for Luke and Andrew. What? I said what's up? To my dogs who were barking into microphones far away and in my loneliness I heard an answer from across the globe and I was comforted. Warm as a jalapeno, hotter than a cheeto. Happy as three boys and a gang of cats and dogs. Another year goes by, another 260 hours of two fellas talking. Oh, mom and dad, it's so beautiful. And as ever, I am sorry for all the abusive language. We're on it today, my boy.

[Luke Burbank]

We're honestly, sonically, that wasn't our worst.

[Andrew Walsh]

It really wasn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Between I loved you found some great, great sonnet music. Also Schaefer marks like really and truly, this is it sounds like I'm joking and I am not. This is what poetry can do. Listen, we all heard me crying recently reading a poem about trees. But like, you know, that actually is a way of describing the chaos that is TBTL in terms of like how little we stay on topic and how we're all over the place. How do you like people have problems explaining what the show is to people. How do you sum up? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? Right. How do you find a word that means Maria? And in that sonnet, Schaeffer has actually captured these sort of. These images and these ideas of the show that really do. He encapsulated the show somehow with those words.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I. And I don't know if you know this or not, Luke, but I feel compelled to let listeners know about the very last reference because I don't know if you would remember this or not. I kind of assume you wouldn't. But do you know the. I am sorry for all the abusive language. Do you know that that is a reference to.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I don't think I do.

[Andrew Walsh]

So for the longest time, I had an outgoing message set up for my email. So if a listener emailed me, they would get an automatic response, Right. Usually set it up as like an out of office response, but it doesn't matter. I would just be like, hey, you know, I got your note, but I can't respond to every email. Thanks for writing in. But I, being the cle person that I am, wrote something along the lines of, hey, thanks for writing in. I read all the emails, try to get back to everybody, but I can't respond to everybody. And also, and I think I said something like I was referring to the writer, including abusive language in their email to me. I wrote something like, I don't know why you needed to use such abusive language or something, but it was clearly a joke. But then some listeners, I believe maybe one listener was like wrote in a little bit starchy about something and then wrote back, what do you mean? The abusive language that I used or whatever. And it sort of became a thing. So I was like, I wanted to fight it. And we talked about it on the show. This is, I mean, Luke, this is more than 10 years ago. And so I think I just like gave in and I struck that line from my auto reply.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or maybe it originally, maybe mine just did say, and sorry for all the abusive language. I can't remember if I was apologizing for it or accusing the writer of using abusive language, but apparently it confused one of our more confusable listeners. And then it didn't feel worth fighting for anymore. And there was one person I remember who was really sad to see that language leave my auto response. And I believe that person was Schaefer. And I think whenever Schaefer writes in, he will sign off. Also, sorry for all the abusive language when he writes into the show now. So I appreciated that little Easter egg.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Thank you for the explanation because, yes, that was ever so slightly lost on me. Schaefer, thank you for all that you've done for the show. And yeah, everybody go check out schaefferhall.blogspot.com and also check out the book NeverCry.

[Andrew Walsh]

Woof.

[Luke Burbank]

Schaeffer wraps it up by saying, love y' all and thanks for all the important things that you do well. Thank you, Schaefer. We couldn't be here without you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't have a crazy amount to say about this Top Story that I haven't already kind of mentioned in the two times I've promoted it, but it did kind of jump out at me because of a couple of things. One, I thought of our friend and colleague John Sklaroff, who is a big New York Knicks fan, because basically the picture in the New York Times of this guy, the headline is who is the baklava guy at the Knicks games? And it comes with this photo of like Knicks fans in absolute delirium, presumably outside of Madison Square Garden, gathered around a guy holding a half consumed tray of baklava who is just looks this. Are you looking at the photo by any chance, Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not right now. I was looking at it the. I mean, I read this the other day.

[Luke Burbank]

So you saw the photo. This is, this photo is. Honestly, if you bottled this, it would take the tiniest. This is adrenochrome of happiness. This is the distilled essence of, of. Of joy in the world. Which, by the way, I do believe that John is feeling today because his New York Knicks managed to come back from being 14 down to win game one of the NBA Finals on the road in San Antonio.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was gonna ask. So we're one game in, huh? I know there's a lot of energy around the NBA playoffs and now the Finals, but I've never like really taken the time to follow it. So it is Knicks versus San Antonio Spurs.

[Luke Burbank]

It' it's an interesting plot because the spurs have Victor Wembanyama and the Knicks haven't been to the finals like almost 30 years or 20 years or something. And so, you know, it's a big story in New York and it's a big story for the rest of the country too, because of this guy, Victor Wembanyama, like almost like in one season re reimagining what even basketball can look like. I mean, he's just phenomenally 7 foot 4, I think, and he can dribble and shoot. It's unfair.

[Andrew Walsh]

He is a human cheat code and a fun personality. Right? Am I right?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Totally.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, like, is apparently loves to read. Like, is always seen carrying a physical book with him and, you know, like, books that are pretty interesting in terms of what they're exploring about the world. He does not shy away from, I think, talking about, you know, the way that this country has treated certain people and stuff. He's just like. He's just. He went to some kind of a retreat over the summer where I think it was like. I think it may have been. I don't know if it was a martial arts retreat or some sort of a meditation retreat. But he's. I mean, by the way, the guy's like 20 or something, too. It's like. He's also. He's also incredibly young, but seems to be a very cerebral individual. Phenomenal, you know, athlete. Just. Just basically, like all around amazing dude. So that's cool for the sport. And then you got the New York Knicks, biggest media market in America. Anyway, I saw this photo, these guys just wilding out around this baklava, and it drew me in. It's also written by Pete Wells. Pete Wells is a writer for the Times that I've loved. For years, he was the restaurant writer. And then he recently retired from being the restaurant writer because he said it was so bad for his health to be the restaurant writer at the New York Times. And that essay alone made the rounds. Well, here he is writing about baklava. Peter. I don't know about that. Although he's not eating the baklava. As far as he's writing about this, I mean, listen, he's allowed to have a little baklava.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure.

[Luke Burbank]

He's writing about a guy named Jacob Comorrow. Here's how he starts the piece. A couple was sitting on a blanket in McCarran park in Brooklyn with a small, placid infant last Thursday when a wandering salesman approached them carrying a tray of Turkish pastries. Hi, he said. I'm going to try to sell baklava to you and your baby. Hell, yeah, the baby's mother said, as if she'd been waiting for it all afternoon. Moments later, she had two triangles of stacked phyllo sheets divided by a thick seam of spring green pistachios. In exchange, $5 had been lobbed towards a Venmo account registered to Good Baklava. By the time the money landed the salesman. And another picnic blanket. The salesman had another picnic blanket in his sights. Good Baklava is a nomadic seed of the pants business started by a 30 year old man known in legal records as Jacob Comorrow. He goes by Roy Donk though, these days, or many customers just call him the baklava guy. So the Roy Donkness of the story jumped out at me because of course that means he likes, I think you should leave as much as we do. If that's kind of his online Persona of Roy Donk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And it basically follows the story of this, this dude, Jacob Comorrow, who has apparently, even though he's not that old by our standards, Andrew, he's already lived a number of lives. He was raised Orthodox Jew in New York, but then decided to kind of turn his back on that lifestyle to follow the band Phish and was traveling around with them, but then ran out of money and so then decided that he was going to try to like. I guess it's a thing with those kind of like a band like Fish when you follow them that a lot of people support themselves while following these bands by just selling stuff in the parking lots, you know, surrounding where the concerts are. And he said basically like he was trying to figure out what to sell. I guess he actually grew up in Passaic, New Jersey, by the way, not New York. I apologize. He went to rehab at some point, a couple of times because I guess he struggled with addiction. And so he's following Fish at some point and he is totally out of money. And so he goes into a store of some kind and he sees baklava and he just thinks, well, no one's selling this in the parking lot. And also it looks like it has drugs in. Looks like a thing you would.

[Andrew Walsh]

He was excited about the green. He was excited literally about the green.

[Luke Burbank]

And so he just like he started selling baklava because he saw an opportunity to differentiate himself from the other people that were selling stuff outside of the Fish shows. And apparently it kind of took off. He said when he's selling his baklava to regular people like that couple in McCarran park or others, or certainly when he's out on the streets of New York, he's always telling people that his baklava contains no drugs. In fact, that's kind of part of his good baklava branding is these T shirts that say good baklava, no drugs. It's by the way, in the New York Knicks color scheme. Those T shirts I'll just mention. But he says when he's selling them, he says when I'm selling them at Fish concerts, they don't ask or wait, let me get this right. He also tells them that his product contains no drugs, a motto emblazoned on some good baklava hats, T shirts and hoodies in Brooklyn. This is the icebreaker and a laugh line. They don't ask. He says when I'm selling at a fish concert, they do ask. So I guess his point is that when you're selling at a fish concert, people actually do ask if there's drugs in the box.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

When you're selling on the streets of New York, it's not the number one question that people.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't have a lot of people, like, tripping and then going into Knicks games.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I wouldn't rule it out.

[Andrew Walsh]

I would rule it out. Sounds like it's been a long 30 years from what I'm learning.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you seen some of these? This is really a conversation we should have John in on for. But, like, the prohibitive cost of getting tickets to the NBA Finals in Madison Square Garden, like, forget being on the, you know, on the court. That's not even a thing. Money cannot even solve that for you, like getting courtside seats. But as far as, like, even being in the nosebleeds, it's, you know, $3,000 a ticket, $4,000 a ticket. It's spurred all these online conversations about, like, particularly for Knicks fans, like, like, what would you pay to be in the building for the, you know, for a Knicks final game when they haven't been in so many years.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And, you know, like, what's that worth to people? There was also a whole piece, I think, in the Athletic about who gets to be actually courtside for these games. And it's not just enough that you're famous. You have to also be a Knicks fan. You cannot be a fan of, let's say the San Antonio Spurs. They are legally allowed to stop. You do, let's say you, you, you bought the tickets off of somebody for $100,000 per ticket. You. The Knicks still legally retain the right to ban you from sitting courtside if you're going to be in spurs gear.

[Andrew Walsh]

How do you feel about that?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm fine with it. I don't think this is an important enough free speech issue. You know, like, I understand that they want to cultivate a certain environment. And by the way, Fat Joe the rapper Fat Joe said he was not allowed to sit courtside at a Cleveland game. Cleveland, this is for you. For the same reason that the Cavaliers. Well, there's a difference of opinion on this, by the way. Fat Joe says I was banned from the courtside seats at a Cavaliers game because I'm a known Knicks fan. The Cavaliers say that he got the tickets through improper means.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

But improper means could just be he got them from someone who wasn't allowed to give them to him directly. Like, if you want to give someone your courtside seats for the Knicks games, you can't just give them to that person. You have to give them back to the Knicks, who then give them to the person if they deem the person worthy to be courtside.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's. Now, this is where I'm Googling around, because I'm gonna ask you a question that, like, you're gonna be able to untangle it, but I'm just gonna sound like such a fool saying it.

[Luke Burbank]

Love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Feast on this. The Garden. Is that the one that's owned by the kind of problematic guy? Yeah. And he. And so he's running this place. This is not the only issue. Right. Because I'll be honest with you, when you mentioned that, I'm like, would I approve of somebody saying, hey, you can't come in to watch Mariners games if you're dressed in a bunch of Blue Jays gear? I feel like, yeah, I could get down with that. Well, there were certainly times I could get down with that, but I know it's a very, very different scenario, and that would be kind of antiquated.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it'd be like, can you sit. It's the World Series, and can you sit in those back. That, like, row of seats right behind home plate? Like the first row.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, right. Exactly that. And I kind of. I understand why you'd say. I mean, you know me. I was teed off, Luke, that they had the national broadcast, took over the playoffs, and they had ads featuring Ohtani on billboards behind home plate when, you know, the Dodgers weren't even in that game and they weren't in Dodger Stadium. Like, I felt like that was an affront. I felt like that was such an affront to fandom and, of course, as always, in pursuit of more money for the billionaires who own these teams. It just, I don't know, pisses me off. There is something, though, about, like, hey, you're in Seattle. Seattle has made it to the big show. And, like, you know, you don't want.

[Luke Burbank]

You can call it the Super Bowl. You cannot legally call the NBA Finals the Super Bowl.

[Andrew Walsh]

That would be a really good tweet. You legally can. I don't know why. It's not a good joke on the show, but it would only be a good tweet anyway. What a weird thing for me to

[Luke Burbank]

say on the everything platform

[Andrew Walsh]

anyway. I mean, part of me kind of understands it, but I guess I was kind of brought up the whole Dolan thing. Thank you for the assist there, which is a basketball term, by the way, because there are a lot more problems with this whole scenario.

[Luke Burbank]

He's running facial recognition.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's running. He's banning people for all kinds of reasons. There's facial recognition for, like, everybody who.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I remind you of one of the reasons.

[Andrew Walsh]

Please do. Because I don't know if I know.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so crazy. There are. You know, Madison Square Garden is a huge. So James Dolan, the very, very quick note on him is his father made a bunch of money on what is, I think, basically Cabletown as laid out on 30 Rock. I think his, his, his. He came from a family that had this big kind of like local cable TV empire or something. And he got all this money and then he bought the Knicks with the money and Madison Square Garden, he also owns the Sphere in Vegas. But, like, he's also got a terrible band called James Dolan and the Straight Shooters. He's one of those guys, he's, like, always trying to get you to listen to his hot rock and blues. But. But Madison Square Garden is a big organization, as are the New York Knicks. And so they're constantly involved in some sort of legal wrangling. Like you've got people that maybe fell down at Madison Square Garden and are suing MSG and the Knicks. You have just. Again, there's always going to be legal stuff going on. One of the things that Madison Square Garden has apparently done is they've sent their bots to go through and search all of the websites of any law firm that is engaged with a legal action against Madison Square Garden or James Dolan or James Dolan and the Straight Shooters or probably the Knicks or any of his sort of associated entities. And if you work at one of these law firms, you're banned from Madison Square Garden because law firms tend to have a website where it's like, here are our associates, here are our lawyers, and there's photos of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Them.

[Luke Burbank]

So you don't even have to be a lawyer who is personally on a case that is bedeviling James Dolan. And I don't know if they're still doing this, but there was a period in time where you could just work at a flipping law firm. You could be walking into Madison Square Garden with the tickets. You Bought and you would be stopped by security and escorted out because your face was now on one of these do not fly lists. So anyway, that's, that's the cat is

[Andrew Walsh]

to talk about this kind of like, you know, manipulation is the wrong word. But this sort of kind of behavior and the way you're locking down your facility, which is you know, still also in the public interest, you know, and probably, I don't know exactly what, how the taxes are structured there, but also is there and you can own this because of, because of the community, you know, input and whatever else like that is. That's bullshit behavior by again, a guy who's richer than anybody should possibly be and sounds like a vindict guy. And so it's like, that's kind of gross. But I do also understand like, yeah, keeping, you know, these courtside seats for the fans makes a lot of sense to me. So I guess I'm not giving you a good answer, but I'm sort of okay with that aspect of it.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, who, you know, who actually comes out, I think looking fairly cool in all of this. Although he did once almost personally lead. I think again, this is really for our friend John Skaroff to litigate. But even though he once may have almost personally led to the Knicks getting knocked out of a playoff series against the Indiana Pacers. But who comes off really cool in the story about the courtside seats is one Spike Lee, one Mars Blackman. Because all of the celebrities who are sitting courtside, the Timothee Chalamet's, the Ben Stiller, the Jenners, the whomever's, they are usually getting free tickets from the New York Knicks because they are super fans, because they are famous, because it is cool optics for the Knicks. Spike Lee has been buying his own courtside seats since he, he, he met. I don't have the article right in front of me. It's a different article than the Baklava story. But basically he said that at some point he was when they drafted Patrick Ewing out of Georgetown. So this has been in the 80s, man. This has been like, this has been like 84 or something. I remember being a little kid and watching Georgetown play, I think Virginia in the national championship game. A Patrick Ewing led Georgetown basketball team. John Thompson as head coach Spike Lee said that on the day that the Knicks drafted Patrick Ewing, he went and slept in line at the front office of the Knicks so he could buy his season tickets, his courtside season tickets. And he's had them ever since. And the reason this makes him seem cool is the Knicks can't tell him shit. Now, I guess possibly, if we've already established that they do have some kind of a say over who sits courtside, I guess maybe they could pull his tickets. But basically, the thrust of this article that I'm referring to here was the Knicks will. They will give you courtside seats if you are very famous and a Knicks superfan. But the assumption is you're not going to be out there, blowhard. You're not going to be criticizing the Knicks based on personnel decisions, based on James Dolan's fedora hat, whatever it is. Do you mean Spike Lee?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you mean like in game frustration, like as a fan, or you just mean also then in podcasts and radio interviews, just being a public figure who's talking shit?

[Luke Burbank]

I think more that one. Door number two.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, if you're Timothy Chalamet and it's the off season, let's say the Knicks don't win this finals and you have big problems with how the Knicks coaching was handled or the Knicks ownership or whatever, and you're doing interviews and you're shit talking the Knicks, you might not get those tickets next year. You have a certain, like, there's a certain chilling effect on your speech because of the fact that you're getting these tickets for free. Now, Spike Lee is his own person and he can say whatever he thinks about the Knicks, good and bad, because he is paying for the tickets himself, which is pretty badass. Now, the reason I said he may have actually lost them a series was because Spike Lee in. Was it the 90s, the late 90s, or the early 2000s, maybe late 90s, he had a feud going with Reggie Miller, the player for the Indianapolis Pacers, who is a phenomenal outside shooter, incredible generational outside shooter. And Spike Lee. There was a famous game in the Garden where Reggie Miller scores. Like, I Forget, it's like 11 points in the last eight seconds of the game after being taunted by Spike Lee. And so you have a game where Spike Lee is riding Reggie Miller's ass all game from the courtside and is like telling him he's a choke artist. And it's just like doing all the things you do as a crazy superfan. And it certainly appears to have lit a fire under Reggie Miller that caused him to win the game for Pacers.

[Andrew Walsh]

In the words of our beloved Josh Naylor, they fed me. They fed me, bro.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I'm trying. I want to see how much of this I'm getting right because I'm not a big let's see. Reggie Miller vs Spike Lee is one of the most famous player fan rivalries in NBA history. Defined by legendary trash talk, clutch performances and iconic gestures. At Madison Square garden during the 1990s. The rivalry peaked during Game 5 of the 94 Eastern Conference Finals. With the Indiana Pacers trailing the New York Knicks, Reggie Miller erupted for 25 points in the fourth quarter. During his scoring barrage, Miller made eye contact with Knicks superfan Spike Lee courtside, flashing the iconic choke sign across his throat. The Pacers won the game, and Miller became public enemy number one in New York. The eight point miracle. A year later, in game one of the 95 Eastern Conference semifinals, Miller delivered an even more devastating blow in the closing seconds. With the pacers trailing by six, Miller scored eight points in just 8.9 seconds. The legendary sequence featured a quick three pointer, blah, blah, blah, and two free throws, stunning the Madison Square Garden crowd and directly taunting Spike Lee in the process.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I'm going to take this to the most tedious place possible, but I have a question for you, and I'm being serious about this. Did the writer say making the choke sign across the throat? And I'm wondering if there are two different signs that are being conflated. Here is a finger line across the throat.

[Luke Burbank]

He didn't do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. It was like actually like putting two hands. Okay, good. Okay. Two hands under the chin. Yeah. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

And this is why we don't praise the machine, Andrew. Because what I just read you is the flipping AI overview and it doesn't understand. And flashing the iconic choke sign across his throat. AI doesn't know the difference that you're pointing out. Very importantly and astutely, he was not, you know, like he was not doing a slash, a kind of a murderous.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's across the floor, which is always doing a famous line that Genevieve mentions all the time. I think from, I want to say Guardians of the Galaxy, there's some character who's like learning idioms or something, is Alan De Dunn. And he kind of says line across throat means death or something because somebody had taught.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. There's a difference between going across the throat versus the choke symbol, which, by the way, Victor, Spike Lee doing that joke symbol, even though it bites him in the ass is so funny.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I. I'm trying to get. I am trying to. I feel like I definitely, if I remember the story right, again, where this is the wrong two people that are kind of reminiscing on this. I don't know if Spike Lee was just yelling choke and Then Reggie did it as a response. Or if Spike Lee was doing choke and then Reggie did choke back to him. I definitely know that there's lots of pictures of Reggie doing it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so good. Okay. There's lots of pictures back at him, like, oh, joke.

[Luke Burbank]

Somehow a callback. Hey, by the way, speaking of basketball players and. And. And public transportation, two of your favorite topics, my guy, Detlef Schrempf, he of the. Always trying to get upgraded on Alaska Airlines, much like myself. The other day I was following on Instagram, and he was at the Mariners game, which was like, go, Detlef. And then I was scrolling through his pictures, and he had taken light rail to get there. And he was like, light rail. A great way to get to the Mariners.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love that.

[Luke Burbank]

Could we love the dude anymore?

[Andrew Walsh]

We could not. By the way, I'm looking at. I was looking for the video. This is like a little documentary. It looks like, like, where they talk to Reggie Miller and Spike Lee. Can I actually play this for.

[Luke Burbank]

You are very chill and friendly now at this point.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I would also love to see.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think this is like a kind of a retrospect. It's only 60 seconds long. It's from Facebook. Let's just see if this is any good, if you don't mind. Now, the problem with Facebook is it does this weird thing where it mutes it when you hit play. Let's try this again.

[Luke Burbank]

Who again is staring in the direction of. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Batman.

[Luke Burbank]

Told you. You guys are gonna choke. They're going down. They don't have enough.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is Reggie.

[Luke Burbank]

Other things. And I'm pretty sure it's Stephen A.

[Andrew Walsh]

Smith right in front of me. My wife's sitting right here. Spike.

[Luke Burbank]

He puts one hand around his neck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And with the other hand, he grabs his crotch. I didn't know that his wife did not want to be there. She just sits there just like this. Oh, this is really funny. So I'm sorry it's so visual, but they show. They're obviously showing footage, archive footage of the game. And I didn't know that that was Spike's wife sitting next to him. And she has her hands covering her mouth while she's kind of like, her eyes are going back and forth from the. The court to Spike. That's pretty good, actually, now that I'm looking at her. That kind of really makes the story good.

[Luke Burbank]

Also, like, Spike Lee must have yelled choke at some point at Reggie Miller for him to do that, because otherwise that's actually insane behavior from Reggie Miller, because what Reggie Miller. Let's imagine that Spike Lee has never. Has never said choke or has never done the choke symbol. What that would mean is Reggie Miller is saying that Spike Lee is choking as a fan, which isn't even a thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, no.

[Luke Burbank]

So he's gotta be responding to it. But it's just funny because it's like, I guess what Reggie Miller is saying is, you called me a choker, but I'm not choking. I'm actually scoring a bunch of points on you. It's just. But I just. What I remember about it, too, was Knicks fans being like, hey, Spike, you have to stop activating Reggie Miller in these situations.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're the opposite of kryptonite.

[Luke Burbank]

No, exactly. You are making him better at basketball and you need to. To freaking stop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God. But he wouldn't. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know how it played out over the years other than. Yeah, they're like, the. The hatchet is more than buried, which is how it should be. Like, this is how sports should be. Like, people can get kind of mad at each other. People can, like, have rivalries. People can also then, you know, like, realize that. That it's, you know, it's not the end of the world. Like the. Some. There's something about the fact that those two have done interviews together and posed together and like each other that it makes me feel like there's still a chance for this planet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I add two things to the story about the baklava guy and his baklavan, which he uses.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that is a pretty good name,

[Andrew Walsh]

I think, to maybe, like, drive around and get from point A to point B where he served these. My reason of putting it that way is I don't think he serves these out of the van. But there were two observations I had. First of all, as you read directly from the piece, it's got a great opening scene. And he goes by the name Roy Donk, as you mentioned, which of course is a character name from. I think you should leave. It's not his real name. We have his real name because you can find it in public records. But the article points out that he knows people can find it, but he refuses to use his real name. And he just says something like, I don't know, Roy Donk is just working for me right now. This guy is clearly a character. But you read that opening scene, and he walks up to a couple on a blanket in the park and says, hi, I'm going to try to sell some baklava to you and your Baby, there is something about the way that sentence is constructed that sounds like a line out of, I think you should leave. Like, it's needlessly complicated. Right. You would just say, hi, would you? If it were me. And it wouldn't be me, but if it were me, I would say, would you like some baklava? I'm selling it for $5. I wouldn't say, hi, I'm going to try to sell baklava to you and your baby.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I think it's a genius line.

[Andrew Walsh]

Great. Right? And then her to say, oh, hell yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like it's naming the awkwardness of sales is, I'm trying to sell you something, but I'm not being clear that I'm trying to sell you something. And also involving the baby, like, that makes me for me. And I hear what you're saying, which is that it's an odd way to put it, and it does sound like a line that they would write in the same way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah. I'm not saying it's stupid. I'm just saying it's interesting. But it also is sort of needlessly complicated in a way. One of Tim's characters would say it. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

It immediately made me realize, oh, this guy is going to be successful in whatever he does.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. He's clearly a good marketer. I mean, he's in the New York Times.

[Luke Burbank]

He's so sm. That's like the smartest. Like, I'm going to try to sell this to you and your baby is like, to the right kind of person anyway, like, so much more disarming than just like, the normal thing, like you said, which would be like, hey, I'm selling baklava. Would you like to buy some? Or hot, tasty baklava. I don't know if they really serve it hot, you know, by the way, I don't. You know, I don't like baklava.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not a big baklava fan either. The honey, it's a little too sticky. It's.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a little too sweet for me. It's like every layer. Because you got that phyllo dough that's so layered and so kind of. It's a very, very sweet bite.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I don't love the mouthfeel of it. I like the way it kind of squishes together when you buy it. Like, I. I'm sure if you have the best of the best, it's really, really good. But for me, it's like. And I don't think about food this Way that much. But like, if I'm gonna eat sweets, something that is like dessert forward, then I have to really kind of like it, you know what I mean? I don't know if that makes sense, but, like, I'm not gonna. I hate using this phrase, but, like, I'm not going to waste my sweet calories on baklava, you know what I mean? I just eat a piece of sheet cake or something like that if offered. My other thing was, I was a little bit. I wish they had gone in a little bit more about the, how the business works. I know that sounds, like, boring because this is obviously an incredibly well written piece and it has all of the color. I mean, of course, and to say that is an understatement and silly, but. And I know that I have a tendency to always just be like, yeah, but what are the nuts and bolts? Let's get into that. Did you add any compression to the audio? Like, nobody cares about that kind of shit. But it does say this says, many of the sales techniques he honed as a dealer in controlled substances have been put to use by the baklava guy. He is easygoing, chatty, and able to keep up a stream of patter without sounding rehearsed. He tells customers that the baklava is layered and frozen in Turkey and then baked, quote, in the kingdom of New Jersey. Again, he is a master of marketing. And then they show a photo right below that graph of people eating the baklava. We see it often in like, these trays where he's just like, they're not individually wrapped, but we do see that he serves them on little pieces of paper, almost like large index cards that are printed with like, his logo and they're purple. And it's again, very, very nice graphic design on this. It does the trick. And so he's really into marketing, but I'm actually very interested in knowing. Like, it sounds like he does have a supplier somewhere who sends this to him. Like, I would love to know, like, how is he storing it? Does he like, you know what I mean? Like, this stuff doesn't last forever. Is it really coming? Is he just like, you know what I mean? Is it sort of down market baklava that he's actually just buying somewhere in Jersey? Or does he have his own supplier that does start in Turkey? What's going on here? Because that's actually quite a bit of work.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, back to the master of marketing thing. I think this, I think really what it is is him wandering the streets selling baklava off of the plate off of the dish is probably more marketing than anything because it's a cool story. Pete Wells wanted to write about it. I'm guessing that he's also figured out a supply chain where he's selling, you know, shelf, stable, you know, wrapped, packaged food, safe, whatever you want to call it. Baklava. Right. Because they show some of that, too, in the article, I think. Like, I don't think the whole business is him baking it in the. Or, you know, baking it in the kingdom of New Jersey and then going out selling it one square at a time, loose off of the thing. But that's actually a better story. Like, I think what he is. He has a baklava company now that sells it, but his marketing end is going in front of Madison Square Garden and taking hyphy videos with a bunch of delirious Knicks fans with the baklava. Does that make any sense?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it does, but that's still the distribution. I'm still interested in knowing, like, kind of where what is. I would like to know more about the supply of this stuff. Like, is it good baklava or is it just, like, you know, it seems to be, like, when you look at it in the.

[Luke Burbank]

My guess is it's average.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And the way. I mean, there's a shot of him, yes. In crowds of people holding a pan of this stuff or being out in a park, but there's also a shot of him, like, in his office or his workplace with, like, several pans laid out in front as if they were just, like, baked. So, like, I assume that he is. Somebody is baking these kind of locally, But I don't know. I'm just a little bit more interested in, like, what is he actually. Like, what is he actually selling? And people can buy this online now, right? Like, that's. That's what you're saying. That's where probably most of the money is coming in.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know about the online portion of it. I guess I'm just saying that this guy is very, very good at marketing. I don't know the answer to the supply chain questions that you've raised, but I also, I. I guess what I noticed in the article was that, like, is that I think that he's very aware that the idea of him marauding New York in his baklavan and getting out and selling it to people is a cool scene and makes it seem very kind of, like, bootstrappy. But I think he's building a pretty. Just like a. Imagine just like you had, you know, A cookie empire where you sold individually packaged, sealed cookies that would be at the. You know, by the counter in a bodega or something. I feel. I get the sense that he's building that business probably. And that's probably more where the real money is than going around selling baklava one piece at a time.

[Andrew Walsh]

And Merchant, he's also like, I'm on his merch site right now. Like, he's got tons of T shirts and stuff, many of which are going for $40 a T shirt, hats for 35 or 30, rather, whatever. So, yeah, I mean, no, there's no. I have no confusion about the fact that this is a marketing thing. Obviously. His whole. His whole thing is, is he seems like a bit of a cult of personality and a guy who's very much into his own kind of into his own sort of lore or legacy or whatever. So, yeah, that. That is not lost on me. And I don't mean to give that impression. I am just. Just legitimately more curious about, like, where he's getting this stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a right way to rock, way to roll.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can't just listen to your song. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing. Whoops. Whoa. Sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

I was switching screens there, I think. Did I hear a bass drop in there?

[Andrew Walsh]

I did. I was gonna ask you if you heard. I put a little subtle. What I thought was a subtle little bass drop underneath.

[Luke Burbank]

I call it a beat drop, but okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's just two. Two tastes that go great together, obviously. All right. I think most people know how the blur is, but maybe not. If you're celebrating a blurs day, yours or somebody else's. Want to drop me a short little message wishing somebody a happy birthday on the air? Email me andrewbtl.net, that's my email address, andrewbtl.net and make sure you put blurs day in the subject line. Now, this note says, happy blursday to my dear husband Max from Brooklyn, from his wife Jenny. We're spending this. Wait, Whoa. Go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I see. Max from Brooklyn.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought because Brooklyn is also a name sometimes, so I got confused.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Happy birthday to my dear husband Max from.

[Luke Burbank]

From Brooklyn.

[Andrew Walsh]

I see.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not the. Brooklyn is not the name of Max's wife.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's my wife.

[Luke Burbank]

Gotcha. Okay, I'll just clarify.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, that's good. That's a good clarification. And also, I might have been reading that in a bit More of a.

[Luke Burbank]

The wife's name is Queens.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's absolutely right. No, but Max is the person who made. I mean, Max is obviously a friend of the show, has done a lot of stuff for. But also, didn't we open the show yesterday with.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, Barket Place.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wasn't that Max's? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so Max from Brooklyn, Happy birthday from his wife Jenny. We're spending this ends in a zero birthday on opposite coasts. But he deserves to be celebrated. A devoted ten that also ends in a zero. Little observation from me, Andrew. A devoted ten, an amazing artist and a man who treats his friends like family. He's one of a kind. And I couldn't imagine a better family like friends. I couldn't imagine a better partner in life. Happy birthday, Matt. Max indeed. Happy birthday, Max. We've worked with Max a lot in recent years.

[Luke Burbank]

This is our friend Max, the actor, illustrator, Dreyfus impersonator. Because we've got a couple of Maxes out there in the world, we may have a few of them. I didn't know if we even maybe had other Maxes in New York, but now I know the Max that you're talking about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Max.

[Luke Burbank]

I know a guy who's at his Max.

[Andrew Walsh]

Julie says this one is for Howard. Howard in Albuquerque. Happy Blurs week, Howard. May you get some good rest after keeping the wheels of democracy turning at the polls for the last two weeks. What you do is so important. It is so important.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely, Howard.

[Andrew Walsh]

I knew I should have taken that left Toyn at Alba Coikke. Thank you for playing that so I didn't have to do my terrible impression of it. Evan sent in a tribute. Tribute to Lisa. I will give you my sort of email.

[Luke Burbank]

Is Evansent. That's pretty good, dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's pretty good. No, I like that a lot. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna abbreviate it a little bit here on the fly because it was. It was quite the tribute. But I will write, I will read here. Today we celebrate a true 10. A woman who is beautiful, funny, thoughtful, endlessly kind, and somehow still willing to spend her time with an 11 like me. We've shared a lot of laughs, stories, and inside jokes together. But one of my favorite things is that we'll always have Andrew's personal cell phone number because he once called and left a thank you voicemail. I don't know if I remember that particular one. I know I'm want to do that every now and then. I called listener Nancy the other day because she was having trouble With a T shirt I think. But yeah, I don't know if I remember this thank you voicemail that I left. But yep, certainly sounds like me. Me. Thank you for the joy you bring into my life. This is now Evan speaking to me, by the way. Thank you for the joy you bring into my life, for the way you make ordinary moments feel special. Boy. Thank you, Evan. And for being the person I most look forward to talking to at the end of the day. Again, all of that, I believe was directed towards me at the end, which is really, really sweet. But also, happy birthday to Lisa from Evan.

[Luke Burbank]

Evan also tagged his email to you, Andrew with this I hate you because you look different.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, fair enough. Corinne says blursday is coming early this year for Cheryl and Corvallis. When we met up in Portland a few years ago, I couldn't have dreamed that you would quickly go from being TBTL royalty I've met in real life to honest to gosh, one of my very best friends in the world. Thank you. It really is. It really is. I was seeing this earlier and I was like man, what a great little TBT story this is. We have millions of these little stories. Thank you for enriching my life just as you do for so many others. May you have a fun filled birthday and a year full of more peace, love and joy than you can possibly imagine. Happy birthday Cheryl. Peace and love. Peace and love. Got this note from Robert who says, not trying to be funny, not trying to make anyone have the worst day at their job, but would either of you effers like to wish my wife jamie A happy 50th birthday? P.S. horse bleep. I was editing that by the way. Robert used all the real words yet somehow made it through my spam filter. Morgan says could you please wish me a happy blursday this week? We can. This past year has been so great. Engagement, new jobs, fun vacations. Congrats and more tbtl. Thanks for being part of it and my next year to come. Absolutely. Well thanks for making us part of your next year to come. And happy blursing Morgan.

[Luke Burbank]

Congratulations.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happiest of Blursays to my five who is also a 10, Finley on his 10th Blurs Day.

[Luke Burbank]

What up Finley?

[Andrew Walsh]

Double digits. You made it. Now start paying some bills. JK Fin. We love you and can't wait for fun adventures this summer. Signed Admiral Badoodle. Okay, I salute you Admiral Badoodle. Eddies, you tell Admirals to be at ease. No, Admirals tell us to be at ease. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, you probably don't you don't tell them to be at ease. Is that across the military at ease? That's not just an army thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know, man. I'm always bad. At ease.

[Luke Burbank]

These are my medals, mother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Genevieve and I. Wait, hold on. Can I recall it though? This is the problem. So Genevieve and I always say the first part of that line. These are my medals, mother. I won them in army. The seal is for marksmanship, but we can never remember what the next line is.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought it. I thought it was this. I thought the seal was for sand racing.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, the next thing is for Sandras because Genevieve just looked it up. He says the seal is for marksmanship and the I want to say alligator. It's not alligator, but it's something like that. Is for sand racing. Are you looking it up now? Can we actually get audio on? Because I know that Genevieve was able to find it the other day. I'll just buy you a little bit of time with some sweet baselicks.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if this is going to. I'm just. I'm playing something called Buster. Buster. Thank God you're back.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's no shame in being a coward. A coward? I'm not a coward. Would a coward have this?

[Luke Burbank]

What the hell is that?

[Andrew Walsh]

These are my words, mother from army. The seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sand racing.

[Luke Burbank]

Gorilla. The gorilla is for sand racing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love the tone he's taking. Tony Hale. Oh, by the way, you know we talked on the show yesterday about like getting flagged for the music at the beginning and end of the show. This is no joke. You would think that I'm joking based on the silliness of this, but this track also gets identified usually as.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask, I know this is not going to work with Ben Lee, but do you think I can ask Tim Heidecker when I interview him in a couple of weeks if we're allowed to use this?

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe I can.

[Luke Burbank]

Who owns this?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't have a real thing. I feel like. Yeah, I mean, it is tied to. And it's not like a TV network. It is. Somebody owns the rights to it. And I don't think it's like the High network or whatever he calls himself. I can actually dig into that later. You. Oh, man. That'd be pretty good, though. All right, how about this? How about this? Peace and love. Peace and love. To Kelly from your book club buddies, Cecilia, Christine and Kathy. We look forward to meeting you for real at an in person book club meetup someday maybe we can make the Vetter Cup a thing. I'm sure we'll talk about the book the same amount at a Mariners game as we do on Zoom. Until then. Until then.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody else's birthday not going to be about you today.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're happy to be your imaginary friendos. Happy blursday, Kelly. And remember, Luke's mom is never invited to book club. Wait. Oh no, wait. I just made up that last part. There ain't nothing like suit. This is going to be confusing because I got a note here from Andrew, but my name is also Andrew, so this is not from me. Can you keep that? Does that make sense?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, let me see.

[Andrew Walsh]

So my name's Andrew Walsh. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Gotcha. Yes. Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, this person signed their email Andrew J. Okay, so I'm assuming this is Andrew J. Walsh.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew J. Fox.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just confused. Maybe I'll just skip it. Andrew says Happy 8th Blursday to CeCe. Did I swear right before this Blursey to an 8 year old, by the way? Way, I think I might have.

[Luke Burbank]

I think so.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. I Hope not. Happy 8th birthday to CeCe. We love watching you grow into a kind, smart and creative kid. You are the best medium big sister your brother could ask for. We hope you have a wonderful birthday. Love, Mom, Dad, Grant and Kona. Got one more in you, Luke. Can you stick around for one more blursday?

[Luke Burbank]

Kidding me.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, here we go. This is Jen in suburban Chicago writing in to wish myself a happy golden blurs day. Love it. Considering I don't remember my actual golden birthday, I'm very glad golden Blurs days exist. Appreciative to have survived another year and looking forward to hopefully more blurs days to come. On a separate note, I for one love all of the Lucy content. Please feel free to share whatever you are comfortable sharing with us. I have three dogs and they are one wonderful creatures. I know they are. Happy blursday, Jen.

[Luke Burbank]

Happy blurs, Jen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happy blursday, Jen. Yeah. Okay, I'll just tell you this about Lucy. Lucy will be graduating from puppy kindergarten tonight. I will not be there because as I was explaining to her in the kitchen earlier, I am a deadbeat dog dad who's going to be on a. I'm going to need a tavern to stop at on my way home from Redmond today because of the journey that

[Luke Burbank]

I will be taking absent father. This. What's. Is Lucy's last name Walsh or has?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a really good question. I think in some systems she might be associated more with Genevieve. I think that Genevieve filled out all the paperwork and got things going with the adoption agency. So I'd assume that she's the first.

[Luke Burbank]

History is written by the winners.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And now the graduating class from ahimsa. Lucy has Walsh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Went to swell it on my end and remembered I can't swell it.

[Luke Burbank]

They grow up so fast, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

They really do. I'm getting a little choked up, which is why it's. It's hard for me. I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Please hold your applause pause until the very end of the graduation. Otherwise we'll be here for a long time.

[Andrew Walsh]

We should get. We should get her a little mortar board. Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the thing, Andrew. Somebody makes a chew toy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

And somebody is in federal way with it right now. And Genevieve is driving there to get it for free. Somebody paid full price along with a ladder for a graduate chew toy. That is a graduation hat that you could actually chew on. And somebody is selling it for pennies on the dollar.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if you know this, Luke, or if you've heard this anywhere or picked this up in your travels, but buying new things for dogs is a sucker's game.

[Luke Burbank]

I couldn't agree more. And you know me, I'm. Nobody likes to. Nobody likes to overpay for something brand new like OL lb. But even I have to admit that's the way to go.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you know. You know what's really sweet?

[Luke Burbank]

Unless you get a speeding ticket on camera, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

And then it doesn't.

[Luke Burbank]

The price of four dog beds.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. You know what's kind of sweet is when we picked out Lucy's very first. What do you call it? Harness. Thank you. You saw me doing the harness symbol on the video.

[Luke Burbank]

Either that or I thought. Either that or you just. You just scored a touchdown in overtime and got up. That was your celly.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was interesting, whatever I was doing there. First time we got Lucy her first push up bra. No, when we got her her first harness, I think we. We. We overestimated her size or something, right? So we got one that was a little bit too big. So then we ended up getting a whole bunch of. We just had so many harnesses. But then we found the right size for her. Small little guy. Extra small. I think was her first one. But then of course, she quickly outgrew it. But as I told you, we met her sister at these puppy training classes. And her sister is still a tiny little guy. And so she is now wearing Lucy's old harness. Is that not.

[Luke Burbank]

Look at that. What's that dog's name?

[Andrew Walsh]

That Dog's name is Gidget. Oh, right, yeah. Sweet, sweet little dog.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, that's gonna do it for today's episode. I hope to see some folks down at the Alberta Rose Theater tonight for Livewire. Fun night in store. Jackie Cation will be there. We love Jackie Cation. And for the rest of you, we will see you on the podcast tomorrow right here at about. Well, recording at about 10am West Coast. But then you'll get it when it hits the Internet.

[Andrew Walsh]

Luke, we're like three minutes away from hitting a two hour show. I just want to let you know that. Well, I guess I stopped down a couple of times.

[Luke Burbank]

So when I do we unlock something at the two hour mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Other than I think I get time and a half, don't I?

[Luke Burbank]

You haven't been in time and a half already?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, for me, it rolls over.

[Luke Burbank]

I've been in penalty time this. I've been in penalty this entire show. And that's a good thing, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's probably.

[Luke Burbank]

You learn that on union shoots, being in penalty is actually the best thing

[Andrew Walsh]

that can happen is penalty. I thought you were making a hockey reference.

[Luke Burbank]

No, like, penalty is another way. Well, when you're on a. When you're on a SAG shoot, at least my memory of the few SAG Screen Actors Guild shoots that I've been on, which the ones that I'm on for CBS are not, they don't fall under that category. But when you're in penalty time, it's like you've been there for, for longer than the SAG contract allows on a given day, and now they're having to pay you extra.

[Andrew Walsh]

I see. That's penalty time.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember. Yeah. When we were in, like filming that beer commercial in Canada and we didn't. Me and my friends didn't know any of the terminology. The producers kept coming to us and going, we're about to go into penalty. So would you one time, and I think the statute of limitations has expired on this. I remember a producer going, and again, remember, our job is to literally drink beer and hang out out and get filmed occasionally doing this. And the producer came to us and gathered us together in one of the trailers and said, okay, we're about to go into penalty. Would you all consider just accepting like 500 in cash each just to go and then not, not put this on the thing? It basically was like buying us off, like saying, like, don't report this as penalty time.

[Andrew Walsh]

To the union.

[Luke Burbank]

To the union. So this is bad that we were being bad. We were being bad union members. Although I don't think we even knew what they the heck was going on. But we were like, wait, so you want to give us 500 more dollars cash so that we will keep drinking beer for an extra 20 minutes while you're filming it? And they were like, yeah, yeah. So that was probably, you know, that was bad. That was union busting. But, boy, I'll tell you, I really enjoyed that $500.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry, I got distracted because I'm trying to fill up this giant inflatable rat that I got for this occasion. I also realized you would have taken

[Luke Burbank]

the money to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, are you kidding me? I would take the money right now. Give me 250.

[Luke Burbank]

We're about to go into penalty. Andrew, can I pay you $500 to not report this to John Sklaroff?

[Andrew Walsh]

All of the talk of copyright or whatever, I forgot I'm not supposed to play words by dub.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's what I was wondering.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're like, what the hell was I doing there?

[Luke Burbank]

We didn't have an official meeting on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. So this is. We're going back to Surf Ninja. Surf Ninja 3 by, I believe, House of Mango. How the.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, none of the Ninja Turtles, I mean, I mean, they say cowabunga, dude. They have a certain kind of, you know, Spicoli vibe, but none of them carries a surfboard as their weapon.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's true. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Have they even tana. We have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do they surf at all?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, but they say cowabunga, dude. There must have been a time where one of them surfs, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, here's the deal, and I don't want to get into why I know this, but it's from listening to like a kind of a recap podcast about the Ninja Turtles movies. And in the it's not really the universe of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but somehow related is a movie called Surf Ninjas. And I believe there's some DNA. And I don't know if it's creative DNA or if it's just like maybe an actor was in both of them. It might be like, do you remember in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they had some human friend who was kind of a long haired, badass guy, kind of tall, wore a trench coat and then shoulder length hair or maybe longer hair than that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, not the one somebody's girlfriend wore.

[Andrew Walsh]

April. Right, April. She wore a trench coat. But there was another reporter or something. Yeah, she was a reporter, but TMNT characters.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, good news. We Made it to two hours.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, we were definitely trying to do that here.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I'm trying to figure out if.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it Casey? Maybe. Is it Casey Jones? Is that the. Casey. Better look out Jones. Tmnt. I think that's. Yes, he. Okay. He was not in a trench coat. He wore a hockey mask. He had longish hair, had a hockey mask and carried hockey sticks. And he went around fighting, I believe, on behalf of. I believe he was part of the team.

[Luke Burbank]

At some point, I asked the Internet, did the Ninja Turtles ever surf? And they say, again, AI Overview. Yes, The Ninja Turtles have gone surfing multiple times in their video games in something called Turtles in time from 1991 in Teenage Mutant Ninja. The Hyperstone Heist of 92. I guess there have been, you know, at times the Ninja Turtles have been seen surfing as part of the plot of a particular episode, but it's definitely not. Oh, yeah. It's not like there wasn't a Ninja Turtle whose thing was carrying a. Carrying a surf.

[Andrew Walsh]

Surfboard. Yeah. I almost wonder if skateboarding plays more of a role.

[Luke Burbank]

I know that seems actually right.

[Andrew Walsh]

New York City. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Anyway, well, good job. Hopefully we made it to two hours there. I think we should have maybe covered it a little.

[Luke Burbank]

Just let the music run if we didn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it's free now.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. All right, everybody, thanks. I already did the goodbye, so we'll see you tomorrow. Please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Sam. Okay, Yeah. 122. 122 and an 8. 122 and an 8. Terrific. Where the heck is 122 and an 8? Wait, you're standing on it, dude. Just slip it down here. Give me that. Hey, this is a 10. The tab's 13. You're two minutes late, dude. Ah, come on. I couldn't find a place. Wise man say forgiveness is divine but

[Luke Burbank]

never pay full price for late pizza.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta get a new route. Power out.