#4743 You Just Can't Win With Snorting Things

Summary

TBTL Episode #4743 Summary: “You Just Can't Win With Snorting Things”

Date: June 5, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

On this rambunctious Friday edition, Luke and Andrew launch into the weekend with classic TBTL energy and humor, meandering through topics both epic and minute. They reflect on personal organization, neighborly help, classic school memories, podcast ad trends, community shoutouts, and a memorable youth baseball ejection over...Rob Zombie? The show—playfully titled after their riff on snorting things—delivers the TBTL trademarks: digressive storytelling, quirky observations, and affectionate ribbing.

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Major Topics & Discussion Points

1. What Is Luke’s “Brand”? (00:00–01:23)

• Luke attempts to define his personal “brand”—evoking the nostalgia of childhood favorites like The Sandlot and Clueless, but with a “futuristic” twist.
• “Imagine what 2090 is like, but like it’s being described by someone from 1920.” — Luke (00:10)
• The conversation playfully derails, with Andrew calling the question an “interrogation” by someone “who doesn’t really want to know anything important.” (01:16)

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2. Friday Morning Check-In & Studio Chit-Chat (01:23–05:45)

• Luke has been up early handling yardwork to beat the incoming rain—relating a neighborly moment with his lawnmower.

• Andrew opens up about his need for order: pocket organization, drawer neatness, and an unexpected crisis—he’s lost his new mechanical pencil.

  • “Even on my person… this is probably true for everyone, but like…my phone always on the right, my keys and chapstick on the left, wallet chapstick back left… I think I’m addicted to chapstick.” — Andrew (04:27)

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3. Losing the Mechanical Pencil: A Saga of Organization and Obsession (05:45–16:03)

• Andrew’s near-maniacal need for order is thrown by the disappearance of a newly purchased pencil.

• The origin story tracks back to a trip to the Office Depot in the “vacant building district of Aurora.” (06:17)

• There are tangents about Seattle’s iconic giant plunger sign (Aurora Plumbing) and office supply preferences inherited from parents.

• Luke riffs on regional grammar quirks: “It needs to be stapled. I don’t like it when people say ‘needs stapled.’” (09:06)

• Andrew’s existential discomfort is exposed: “That’s the thing about being an organized person… When something goes missing… it drives me a level insane.” (13:39–14:19)

  • “I can become obsessive—like if there’s a buzz in the line… nobody’s recording any more podcasts in the world until I figure out where this hum is coming from.” — Andrew (15:27)

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4. Luke’s Lawn Saga & Neighborly Help (16:03–33:07)

• Luke recounts an in-depth story about his morning gone awry after his hand-me-down lawnmower refuses to start.

• He relates to Andrew’s “obsessive” tendencies when a plan gets derailed by unexpected challenges.

• Enter neighbor Bob, who offers starter fluid and embodies the opposite of Type-A fussiness.

• Luke reflects on ego, the awkwardness of needing help, and the genuine warmth found in teamwork:

  • “Sometimes asking for help is a nice thing, and it makes you feel close to people… I want everyone to think I have it together… but this morning, it was a nice little moment for me and Bob.” — Luke (32:38)

• Notable bit: “Bob is a working dude… flips houses, always doing projects… He wants to help, but doesn’t care that he can’t find [the starter fluid] right away.” (25:12–26:13)

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5. Community Calendar & TBTL Listener Updates (33:44–45:39)

a) Maddie’s Play at Edinburgh Fringe (34:41–36:31)

• Luke’s niece, Maddie, has written “A Queen’s Way”—to debut at the renowned Edinburgh Fringe Festival (Aug 24–29).
• A call for UK/Europe-based listeners (“tens”) to attend and support.

b) Longtime Listener Movements

• Avalon, a “Scott10” (Scotland-based listener), is moving to Houston, TX, seeking tips and a local Ten community: “I have a lot of questions and I need help… Where are the good bars to have a few small beers?” (39:01)
• Andrew reflects on how listeners connect across continents, weaving in shout-outs to the TBTL Friday Newsletter (sign up at tbtl.net).

c) Coach Ben’s Family & Montana Politics

• Coach Ben’s nephew, Sam Forstag (a “smokejumper” and, per Luke & Andrew, a “smoke show”) is running for Congress in Montana’s 1st District. The hosts urge Montanans to “give a look” and contemplate the election’s stakes.

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6. Piano Deaths, Aging, and School Memories (50:48–59:27)

• The hosts riff on the classic cartoon trope: “How many people have really died from a piano falling on them?” Luke argues under 200, Andrew takes the over. AI apparently pegs the U.S. number at 26 in the last century.
  • “Hot lava, quicksand, and a piano falling on me were things I thought I'd be dealing with more in adult life.” — Luke (51:09)
• They spiral into nostalgia about school bake sales, aging, and how being childless (or out of the child-rearing loop) warps your sense of time leading to surreal “oldest person in the room" moments.

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7. Podcast Segment: Podcast App Frustrations & Advertising (59:38–66:14)

• Luke launches into a passionate complaint about the New York Times' audio app—how it frustrates smooth listening and tries to foist video on audio users.
• The conversation widens: dynamic podcast ads, especially ones for “AI” that flagrantly conflict with the show's content.
  • “I’m listening to a nuanced conversation about AI...then the ad is ‘work smarter not harder with Tecmo Burst’...It’s the most non-self-aware ad.” — Luke (61:03)
• Both reflect on how grateful they are that TBTL remains listener-supported and ad-free.

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8. Dazzling Donors (66:14–73:02)

• Listeners Harley & Amy (Stanwood, WA) and Mike Farnan (West Hollywood, CA/gravy sucker) are celebrated for support.
• A warm digression on the joys and hazards of Twisted Tea, the prospect of having “a loose one” after yard work, and the distinctly TBTL blend of “twisted tea and tears about trees.”
  • “To sum things up with some twisted tea and some tears about trees, I feel like the Tens can resist all that is wrong with the world.” — Mike (68:43)

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9. Top Story: Youth Baseball Umpire Boots Overzealous Coach (73:20–87:09)

• Viral story breakdown: In Idaho, teenage umpire Jameson Morris ejects a coach for refusing to let go of a grievance about the opposing team playing Rob Zombie music.
• The coach, from the Logos School (a fundamentalist, controversial institution), triggers Luke's memories of churchy overreactions: “It very much reminds me, unfortunately, of my youth.” (79:02)
• The audio of the ejection is played and parsed. The coach, upset by the “demonic” sound of Rob Zombie, is told, “You're either going back to the dugout or your team's forfeiting.” Crowd support aligns with the young ump.
  • “Get him out of here!” — Spectator (81:08)
• Luke & Andrew riff on the absurdity and “snowflake” nature of the coach’s actions: “Talk about being so freaking sensitive.” (82:02)
• The pair discuss “defiant beats” and the perennial Christian adult anxiety about secular music, referencing a family memory where Luke’s dad objected to a Christian rap tape. (84:09)
  • “As if a beat could be [defiant]…” — Luke

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10. Listener E-mail & Stand-Up Comedy Experiment (87:17–101:35)

• Listener Alec from Brooklyn shares a YouTube clip of stand-up comic Aaron Westbury, whose bit involves telling the same “blinker” joke over and over at an open mic, pushing the audience’s patience and expectations.
• Andrew and Luke unpack its “performance art” and Andy Kaufman vibes, pondering what makes it funny versus antagonistic. Both appreciate the comic’s gentle, authentic energy.
  • “I do not like prank culture…but I like that he did this in a comedy club…[where] people have come to be entertained.” — Luke (97:16)
• They reflect on generational differences in content “closure” and how much “leaving things unsaid” defines modern media.

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11. Endnotes: Music, AI, and Surf Ninja 3 (101:35–end)

• Debate about the true identity of “Surf Ninja 3," the show’s music provider—are they people or AI? (Conclusion: “It’s people!”)
• One last riff on dangerous falling objects: “How many people over/under 200 have died from a surfboard dropped by a Surf Ninja 3?” (100:39)
• They sign off in classic TBTL style: “No mountain too tall…and good luck to all.”

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• "[My brand is] everything you loved about classic movies...but also very forward-thinking. Imagine what 2090 is like, but it's being described by someone from 1920." — Luke (00:10)
• "You just can't win with snorting things, Andrew." — Luke (05:26)
• “That's the thing about being organized…when something goes missing…it drives me a level insane.” — Andrew (13:39)
• “Sometimes asking for help is a nice thing…it was a nice little moment for me and Bob.” — Luke (32:38)
• “To sum things up with some twisted tea and some tears about trees, I feel like the Tens can resist all that is wrong with the world.” — Mike (68:43)
• “Get him out of here!” — Spectator at the baseball game (81:08)
• “As if a beat could be [defiant]…” — Luke (84:22)
• “I do not like prank culture…but I like that he did this in a comedy club.” — Luke (97:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Luke Defines His Brand: 00:10–00:39
• Andrew’s Pencil Crisis: 04:27–14:19
• Lawnmower Saga/Neighborly Help: 16:03–33:07
• Community Calendar/Niece’s Play: 34:41–36:31
• Podcast App & Ads Rant: 60:09–62:38
• Dazzling Donors/Twisted Tea: 66:14–73:02
• Coach Ejected for Rob Zombie — Clip & Analysis: 77:03–87:09
• Stand-Up “Same Joke” Bit: 87:17–101:35

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Tone & Takeaways

• Classic TBTL: Gently meandering, self-deprecating, and convivial—Luke and Andrew deftly blend minutiae (lost pencils, office supply nostalgia) with broader community-connected stories and cultural commentary.
• Listener Engagement: They revel in the lives of TBTL fans, highlighting community events and personal triumphs, and frequently break the fourth wall to address their audience directly.
• Underlying Themes: The importance of ordinariness, neighborly connection, comfort with imperfection, aging with a sense of humor, and navigating an often absurd world together.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I just think I'd feel much better about it if we could lock down a great representation visually of what my brand is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so how exactly would you describe your brand?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, aesthetically or cinematographically, if that's a word. It's not. I feel like it's everything you loved about the classic movies of our childhood, like Sandlot, Billy Madison, Apocalypse Now, Happy Gilmore, Clueless. But at the same time, I feel like my brand is not rooted in the past. It's actually very forward thinking and like, futuristic. It's like, imagine like what 2090 is like, but like it's being described by someone who's from 1920.

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTL

[Luke Burbank]

guess what day it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Guess what day it is. It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm what's known as a psychic medium, but I'm also clairsentient, which means that I feel my angels. I'm also clairvoyant, which means I can see. I'm also clairaudient, which is most of the time, I actually hear. I hear voices. And I also do financial advising. I'm not handling this well. I don't feel competent. I'm depressed.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's kind of weird. I feel like I'm being interrogated, but by someone who doesn't really want to know anything important.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

No donkeys, no horses, no cows, whatever you've got that doesn't eat.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to connect with people and I really put myself out there on the airwaves.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is apparently going to rain later today. How rude. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. That's all right, though. Somebody was up at the crack of dawn mowing the lawn. That's right. I've got all of the yard work done in advance of the rain that's moving in for the next three days.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wanted to add a few comments regarding

[Luke Burbank]

your mole situation because I'm not a psychopath who woke up at like 5:45 being like, when can I start mowing the lawn? In fact, the lawnmower didn't work this morning initially, and it was a nice moment of bonding with my neighbor. We can talk about that. It's nice when we get to connect to the people in our environment in Our orbit. We're going to try to connect with all of you, the tens of listeners, right here on episode 4743 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We got the community calendar today, which has a few items in it, including my niece's play that she wrote that is going to be part of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Any tens out there in Europe, specifically the United Kingdom, I want to tell you about how you can do that. Also Coach Ben, you know, from the baseball team, his cousin Sam is making a run for congress in Montana and just won his primary and we got to throw some weight behind him as well. So we're going to talk about all that. Plus, I'm going to try, I really am going to try to clean out the top stories cabinet from this week.

[Andrew Walsh]

Clean as your mama's forehead.

[Luke Burbank]

We've got some stories that have just been lingering all week that we've promoted and not gotten to. And I'd just like to, just so I can go into the weekend with a clear sort of, I don't know, mindset. We'd like to try to get to those if we can. We're definitely gonna do all of that with the help of this guy. And thank gosh, we've got him here. The guy is clearly brilliant and much of what he's done is astoundingly impressive. He's the longest running cobra over the program. May be best known for his depictions of the tall ship sees. Andrew Walsh. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I want you to know everything is okay, by the way. Everything's fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you're kind of like. You look like you got a lot going on over here.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got a lot going on.

[Luke Burbank]

Mic, you're on Mic.

[Andrew Walsh]

I can't look at you right now on the screen. I'm sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

So here's open a pop up kitchen in your studio. I am at a sort of a cooking station where you're doing all kinds of different.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if this was a grill over here and I'm like kind of flipping burgers while I'm talking? Honestly, in this gig economy, right, not the worst idea.

[Luke Burbank]

Extra money while we're podcasting.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, here's the deal. Here's something you need to know about me, Luke. What was that thing on TikTok? One thing you need to know about me. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

One thing about me is.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right, exactly. Well, one thing about me is I consider myself a relatively organized person. And when I say that, I mean I know, like with my physical objects, I know where they are. Everything has a home. Even. Even on my person like this. I mean this is probably true for I hope everybody. But like if you're somebody who carries things around in your pockets and you wear like pants with the same pockets every day the way I do. The same thing goes in the same pockets every day. Right. My phone always on the right. My keys and chapstick always on the left. Wallet chapstick back left. Yeah. Always sort of. I feel like I need. I think I'm addicted to chapstick. By the way, that was a rumor

[Luke Burbank]

when I was a kid that you could get addicted to chapstick. That might be true, Afrin.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's right. That stuff you shoot up your nose. There's one of the things you shoot up your nose.

[Luke Burbank]

The irony is that cocaine is addictive. That will plug up your nose. But then the thing that also apparently clears your nose, also addictive.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't know.

[Luke Burbank]

You just can't win with snorting things, Andrew.

[Andrew Walsh]

You just can't win with snorting things. This is where I put a little title, little dash in the show because I'm a gruff.

[Luke Burbank]

You just can't win with snorting things.

[Andrew Walsh]

So here's what's going on with me is I'm going a little bit. I'm going a little bit batshit, to be honest with you.

[Aaron Westbury]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

People over there kind of having a

[Andrew Walsh]

moment because what happened was. And it's not a big deal and I need to let this go. But I just wanted to try it at the beginning of the show. Here is emptying out my drawer because the other day, Luke, I went to the office supply store. When's the last time you just like with a purpose left your house, got in the car and drove to an office supply store? Because you mean office supplies. The one I happened to go to was the Office Depot on Aurora Avenue North. You can probably picture it. I believe it is sand between two beautiful vacant buildings.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh huh. Yes. In the vacant building district.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is in the vacant building district of Aurora.

[Luke Burbank]

If you hit taco time, you've gone too far. Circle back. If you hit Goldies.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was going to say.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is there Taco time up there anymore? I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe. Oh, is that gone? Please don't. Aurora Plumbing with their giant plunger sign.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is. I don't know what I'm gonna do. That is still there. The giant plunger says it all. I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

I think one giant plunger. Literally.

[Andrew Walsh]

For folks who don't know, we are not joking. There is a family Mexican restaurant on the corner and then right next to that is a plumbing place that has a I believe traditional like a real neon sign right there.

[Luke Burbank]

Like my entire growing up life in Seattle.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's literally a plun. And the only time I've ever been in that restaurant I was with my friends and their kids and those, you know. Again, it's a very family friendly place. But I remember looking at the window and just looking at a neon plunger as I ate, which was a little touch of class. But anyway, so I went to the Office Depot and I put on my little train conductor hat and I just marched right on in there and I bought myself some office supplies that I need for a little project I'm working on that I'm not at liberty to talk about in detail right now. But I needed a mechanical pencil. And when I was growing, growing up and I got this totally from my dad, this is what my, my dad had two writing instruments as at, at work and at home. And one was this style Bic pen. I think it's a Bic Uniball pen micro. And because my dad wrote with them, I wrote with them. I don't to this day I don't like, I don't like ballpoint pens. I like these that sort of like

[Luke Burbank]

those are much bleed out and paper

[Andrew Walsh]

with I think absolutely. And and then the other thing is, is a mechanical pencil specifically. And I'm trying to figure out what the brand is, but you've seen it a million times or light blue depending on how thick the lead is. I think the brand might be Pentel. Yes, Pentel.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trust you on that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And so I realized the other day I needed a pencil. I never need pencils. Like I just don't use pencils in my daily life anymore. But I needed to draw some very light erasable lines on something.

[Luke Burbank]

Guidelines. Listen, I'm not giving anything away. I want the listeners to know Andrew

[Andrew Walsh]

is getting very artistic, getting very artistic

[Luke Burbank]

with some upcoming TBTL project.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you know what I'm talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

Of course. And I'm impressed, my friend. You contain multitudes.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, you should also be impressed with is. I don't just.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let's not push it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't just have staples in my drawer. I have apparently 1, 2, 3 boxes, 3 full boxes of staples in my drawer. I staple. I use my stapler maybe once a year I take this out and show it to you more often than I actually use it. Yours is cute. Mine as we've talked about.

[Luke Burbank]

I haven't used this in a while. But tell you what, I've got to have it around as my security stapler, like in case something needs to be stapled. And I say, needs to be stapled, Andrew, because I don't like it when people say needs stapled. Oh, this sort? Yeah, I don't like that. Stapled. Have you ever caught people saying that?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what? This rings a bell. As in maybe it's something. You've probably brought it up before, and I think you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

But like, I don't. I. When I used to work at that plumbing company and when I was in high school, I remember the guy who ran the joint, he used to come. All right, that needs sorted. That needs picked up.

[Andrew Walsh]

That needs to be.

[Luke Burbank]

It needs to be picked up.

[Andrew Walsh]

It needs to. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

No one is so busy that they can't include those two little words that make it an actual sentence.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're very easy words to use.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so you got your mechanical pencil.

[Andrew Walsh]

Your pencil. So I got. And the thing is, I knew exactly what I wanted. I went in there, I bought the mechanical pencils, I bought some erasers, I bought some extra lead for the pencil. But the thing is, I only really needed one of these pencils, but they came in two packs. Okay. And I was like, okay, you didn't

[Luke Burbank]

think that was something that you needed to run by me and John?

[Andrew Walsh]

I actually, I did send the receipt to John. He's literally got the receipts I sent it to.

[Luke Burbank]

Lest anyone worry that the business boys are not running a tight ship. I swear to God, if I look at the company credit card, I get a text from John. Was this you? Did somebody steal the card? Was this you?

[Andrew Walsh]

We get a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

And John, I say that with love. I say that with love. I'm glad that we've. I'm glad we're running a tight ship around here.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway. Well, unfortunately, this has been a failed experiment. But I got two of these pencils because they came in a two pack. And I was like, okay, well, that's fine. It's whatever. Maybe I. Maybe I should pay for one of them out of my own, you know, private funds. You know, maybe I only charge the company for half of this two pack of pencils since I only really need one for this project. We can talk about that later. That would be fair, I suppose. But all that is to say, I'm like, I don't really need to. But that's all they got, so I'll buy it. And so then I Have been doing my little art project mostly upstairs at the kitchen table. And I brought my extra pencil, the one that was unused. I call it the virgin pencil.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you like me calling it that?

[Luke Burbank]

Not really.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I'm going to not call it that anymore. I brought the virgin pencil.

[Luke Burbank]

We can ask the listeners, but I feel they're going to be with me on this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I brought the pencil that had still been untouched.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you. Pure as the driven snow pencil. It's wordy but a little bit more poetic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I brought the pencil that's waiting for marriage downstairs into my office, which hasn't shared its cookies. That's right. When I was at Jesus known another pencil in the biblical way.

[Luke Burbank]

When I was at Jesus Creek, there was a. I was in the drama club and there was a galactually. I had kind of a big crush on her. She was a couple grades ahead of me. She was really good at doing drama and acting. Her name was Amy and she had a monologue that was a big hit at the school that was this girl, a teenage girl talking about her. These. This bag of cookies that she had that was like very, like special and just for her. And she treasured it. And then someone took this away or whatever. And of course it was all sort of a metaphor for her virginity. But I remember it was a big old hit. This monologue about her cookies.

[Andrew Walsh]

How many. How many people went, all right, all right, all right. Handled their cookies that night is what I would like to know. Okay, so all of my do with cheddar. I said, I found you with cheddar. I. Anyway, I brought that. I brought the virgin pencil downstairs. I put it away in my drawer. I've been using the other one upstairs. I now have need for a second pencil. I was going, I told you. I went on an epic journey, a two hour journey to my doctor appointment on the east side. And I did take the train. Hit a home run with your friends and family. Take them on a train.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is nothing stops it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tagline from an old commercial. And I was running out the door and I was running late. Well, because the bus was coming. And I was like, oh, I want that light pencil so I can kind of mark up this book I'm reading a little bit. And I'm like, oh, I'll grab the one I haven't been using for the project and it's not in my desk drawer. And what I started to say before was, what you need to know about me is I'm a man who is relatively proud of keeping everything in its place and being able to find things, it's like, oh, yeah, you need my. Whatever. I haven't used it in a year. But I know exactly where it is, because it's got a place, it's got a home, and I keep things in their homes. And I can't find the second pencil.

[Luke Burbank]

Luke, you already lost the second pencil, which. For 48 hours max.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no, at least a week, if not more, but unused. And I put it down here, and I see the other pen. I bought some special pens as well, and I see them in here, or at least I did. And so what I was doing at the beginning of the show is I emptied literally everything out of my drawer. Because the thing about being somebody who considers themselves organized in the way that I just described is that's useful in daily life. But the other side of that sword is when something goes missing like this and you don't have an explanation for. Drives me a level insane. It drives me to a level of insanity. Maybe I should say I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's inexplicable.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because it's inexplicable in a way that it wouldn't bother somebody whose life is maybe generally more chaotic and they're losing things all the time. Like, that might be a bunch of. And I would say maybe, like, Genevieve is sort of like, you know, like, well, whatever, but she has a very successful life and her being a little bit more scattered, other than getting stuck

[Luke Burbank]

with you, it's gone pretty well.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly, yeah. Regrets. She has a one. A one, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Regrets. I've got a one, but it's driving me bonkers.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so I thought.

[Luke Burbank]

So you still haven't located.

[Andrew Walsh]

No. And I just removed everything from my top drawer, which makes me think maybe. I mean, this is the other shitty thing about my kind of personality defect here, is it drives me. It's a little bit like, sometimes you sort of compliment me about, like, my ability to, like, sort of figure out audio stuff. But you've also seen the other side of that is when I can't figure it out, I can become obsessive over it, right? Like, if there's a buzz in the line, you could be like, well, just jiggle it. Well, there's a buzz in the line. So what? And I'll be like, no, nobody's recording any more podcasts in the world.

[Luke Burbank]

In the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're shutting down all audio, video technology in the world until I figure out where this hum is coming from. It's probably from a dimmer switch.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the other side of that coin. I mean, that's the deal is that's your brain chemistry, and we benefit from it, generally speaking. And then occasionally it derails everything because, in other words, do we need to. Should we just play some light hold music or something while you solve. Are you gonna be able to do the rest of the show without knowing where the pencil. That's not even a joke question.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. This has been dogging me since yesterday anyway, so I figured I'm gonna sit

[Luke Burbank]

down at my workstation. I'm gonna be, you know, I'm gonna just kind of like, sort through this while I'm talking to Luke, and it'll. I'll figure it out. Now, by the way, I had. There's a. By the way, I had an experience with something like this Andrew this morning, not involving me, but involving my neighbor Bob. Things got, I would say, slightly more. Not personal, but I got more in his space than I was expecting to when I woke up this morning. And what basically happened was, you know, I've been out of town for the last week, and, you know me and my obsessive lawn mowing tendencies. I'm trying to really keep my lawn under control so that when I mow it, it's not like so long that it is gumming up the lawnmower and or is just like a huge hassle. And I got home Wednesday night. Yesterday I was getting ready for Livewire and had a busy day, so I couldn't get out. And yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous day here, probably up in Seattle as well. Just like beautiful blue skies and sun. And unfortunately, the weather is taking a turn. It's going to be kind of rainy today and Saturday and Sunday. And so I basically zeroed in on the only time that I was going to be able to mow the lawn without it potentially raining was this morning before the show, before we did tbtl. But I didn't want to be out there mowing at 7am that felt a little aggressive. So my plan was I would do other general yard work that wasn't noisy from 7 to 8. And then at 8, I would fire up the mower. And so 8am rolls around and I pull the mower out, which my neighbors from down the hill, Spring and Scott, actually gave me this mower because they heard on the show that I was. That I was transitioning out of my electric riding mower. And I went to start the mower. It's a Honda, which is nice, but it didn't start this morning. And I was Very bummed because, you know, this is a way, I think, in which you and I are kind of similar. Once I've got a plan in my head of how the whole schedule is gonna go, I really like it to go according to the schedule I had in my mind. And I got up early today, did all my TBTL stuff. I, I made my coffee. I just had this whole plan. And I was looking very forward to doing the show with you and knowing that the lawn was mowed and that didn't matter if it rained. I mean, I'm already, I got the whole day worked out up until the Mariner game tonight.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like 6:40 or 7:10, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know, but I think it's.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, they're in Detroit, so it's going to be early. Oh, shoot.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, baseball came early.

[Andrew Walsh]

I gotta look that up.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. Plan accordingly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for the heads up.

[Luke Burbank]

You have that many fewer hours to search for your pencil this afternoon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right, buddy.

[Luke Burbank]

So anyway, I had this whole plan for my day and it involved me mowing the lawn this morning. And then I go to start the lawnmower and like it won't start. And I'm immediately, I start to spiral into this thing that I do.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I ask you a quick question or is it you're pulling a string, like old school?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's a pull. Yeah, it's a gas lawnmower. You, you know, it's got a spark plug. You pull the thing. And by the way, Scotty is like a car guy, is a classic car guy. So he had tuned it up for me very nicely before he brought it over so that it would actually start. And it started great the first, like two times I used it and then this time it wouldn't start. And then I was just like, again, I'm thinking like it's at this point, it's like 8:02 and I'm like, could I go to Home Depot, get another lawnmower, get back here by 8:40amo. I got to assemble it a little bit because those things are kind of, kind of partially assembled in those boxes, you know, put it back together, you know. And then I'm just like, don't let's not overreact burbs. Like, let's not. I'm like, can I buy a battery powered. Because you know, somebody had emailed me when I was talking about this whole lawnmower thing. Somebody said, I, some listener said I got a really nice battery powered, like self propelled mower. He said, it's the best thing I've ever bought in my life. He said, you know, gas mowers, they're all. They're never going to be starting just right. It's just going to be like, you'll be dealing with it for years. It's a hassle. And all that email was just, like, banging around in my head. At 8:02 this morning, I was just like, this is exactly what the listener said was going to happen, is that these lawnmowers are, you know, they're temperamental. And I'm not, you know, I'm not a. I'm not a mechanical guy. I'm not good at, like, fixing stuff, diagnosing stuff like this. But I was like, just. Just calm down. There's probably something can be done. Let's just focus on what we can focus on right now. So I went out into my yard. I started pulling weeds out of this rockery because I had, like, multiple things I was gonna try to do today. And I'm pulling these weeds and I'm doing this thing, and I'm listening to. I think I'm listening to Chris's episode this week, Chris Hayes's why Is this Happening Pod? And I hear a noise, and it's my neighbor Bob. And he's just saying, hey, good morning. He's out doing stuff in his yard. He's like, you tired of pulling weeds yet? Because I'm just constantly pulling weeds from various places where they're not supposed to be. He sprays down some kind of crazy, like, insane, probably carcinogenic to the hilt stuff, which, by the way, works really well. Very jealous, okay? I asked him, I was like, what do you. What are you spraying down at your fire pit? He goes, I think it's called Killzall. I go, yeah, that sounds.

[Andrew Walsh]

Meanwhile, you're putting, like, baking soda and vinegar.

[Luke Burbank]

Seriously, I'm hand. I'm hand pulling, artisanally pulling weeds, literally. And he goes, yeah, they won't. He goes, I tried to buy it on Amazon. They won't ship it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a good sign.

[Luke Burbank]

So we're just kind of chatting, and I said, yeah, you know, I'm trying to stay. We're just doing neighborly talk. I go, I'm trying to stay on top of this lawn, but I keep going out of town. He goes, I know, man. I've been out of town. Just grows really fast. And I go, yeah, my lawnmower won't work right now. I can't start it. He goes. I go, I think I flooded it. He goes, well, I got some starter fluid, if you need or whatever, ask. I was like, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

We've talked about starter fluid on the show before, right? Isn't that a nostalgic memory for both you and I?

[Luke Burbank]

Springs. I have no. See, I didn't grow up on a farm with dirt bikes like you did, in other words. So to be honest with you, I know that it's a thing. I don't know if I've ever used it. I might have used it. Here's my version of it. I had cars that wouldn't start, and we would spritz some gas into the carburetor, which is, I think, essentially the same thing. Back in the day, if you had a car that wouldn't start, you could just pour a teensy bit of gas from the gas can into the carburetor, and it would, like, get it going. So this is a similar thing, but I'm like, yeah, I'll let you know if I need it. And I'm just praying to God that when I go back to the lawnmower, that's literally how I talk to him. I'm seriously, like, code switching to, like, guy who knows where the starter fluid goes in the lawnmower. So I'm like, you know, so I'm doing this other stuff, pulling weeds, and I'm trying to get through my to do list that's not lawnmower related. But finally I'm like, okay, maybe I flooded it. Maybe it's working again. I go back and I try to start. It's almost starting. It's almost catching, but it won't. It's going. But then I'm throttling it up to try to give it a little more gas with the choke. It's just. So then I text Bob. I'm like, hey, can I borrow some of that starter fluid? And that's how I text, too. Can I borrow some of that starter fluid? But here's the thing. I don't instinctively know where you spray the starter fluid into the lawnmower here, like, Fledge.

[Andrew Walsh]

When he's looking at the. He's looking at the airplane, and he's like. He opens up, I believe, the storage area of the airplane to start working on the engine.

[Luke Burbank]

I do something much smarter. Andrew, I Google, where do you spray starter fluid into a lawnmower, by the way?

[Andrew Walsh]

I would, too, by the way, because I don't get a YouTube video. Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I get a YouTube. It's in. It's through the little air filter you basically take. There's a Little air filter on the side. You take that off and you spray through. It's essentially spraying it through the carburetor, but of the lawnmower. And so I see a YouTube video of it and how to do it. So now I'm like, I know. So I take that little thing off the side and place it, you know, place it there. And I'm still. Now I've texted Bob. I'm not going over to his house because it's. It's 8:20 in the morning still and he's been out in his yard. But I don't want to like go knock on his door. I just don't want to get into his space. But I notice his garage door is opening. So again, I'm just kind of puttering around my yard. I'm trying to get everything and anything I can get done. And. And then I see that he's out doing something on a truck in his yard. So. Okay, great. So I go over and I'm like, hey, can I go ahead and get some of that Starfleet? Yeah, totally. So we go into his garage and he's got this big workbench that's just much like the workbench I have in my basement. It's just. Remember those people that would have like those signs that were like, a clean mind is a clean desk is the. Is the sign of an insane mind. Like they were trying to make the argument that you need. You really need to have a messy desk. That's the real proof that you're not crazy. This was his workbench, was much like the one I have in my basement. Just chaos, just everything, everywhere.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, this is actually. I mean, this does sort of. Sorry to interrupt, but this does sort of tie into exactly the personality types that I was discussing before. Like, I'm obsessed with. That's the thing. If I had a workbench, it would be just absolutely tidy. Like everything would be hanging. There'd be outlines where the hammer nod.

[Luke Burbank]

What's the thing? I can never remember.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, well, that's turning something. But it would just be like perfect. But I wouldn't be getting anything done because I wouldn't be able to find the ball peen hammer. And so I just spent, you know, 24 days just looking for this one hammer.

[Luke Burbank]

The thing is, Bob is a working dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. But he gets shit done.

[Luke Burbank]

He flips houses, he buys houses, he fixes them up. He's always doing projects, got multiple trucks. He's the guy that when he saw me doing work on my house, he Goes, I've got a bunch more of those cedar shingles that I've like, harvested off of projects I've done. If you need a couple of fill in ones. He's that kind of a dude. And so we go over there, and I go over there. Now we're in the garage and he's looking for the starter fluid. And he's. But he's like, I don't know. I used it the other day, I can't find it. And he's just like looking through. He's picking up things. And there's multiple cans, spray cans of different things. None of them are the starter fluid. And I'm starting to go like, man, like, now I feel bad because here's the thing. Like, I have now made this a weird pressure situation for him where I'm standing in his garage while he is trying to sort through the chaos that is this workbench. And I'm starting to feel bad. I'm starting to think, well, I could just go to Napa and get my own. Like, I don't want this guy to feel bad or embarrassed or whatever. But see, that's not how Bob's wired. Bob Degaff.

[Andrew Walsh]

He wants to help.

[Luke Burbank]

He wants to help, but also he doesn't care that he doesn't know where it is. I am thinking, if he came over to my house and I was like, hey, I'll loan you a something. And now we're standing in my basement and I'm looking around. Why would Xi Jinping want to flood my basement and rust my Bowflex? I'm like, searching. I'm putting myself in his shoes, which is like, I would feel like a ticking clock of like, like, I can't find this thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I.

[Luke Burbank]

And, and this is proof that I'm not living an organized life. Like, I'm a, let's just put it this way, a lot more in my head than old Bob is, right? So I'm like, hey, man, you know, and if he can't find, he's like, oh, no, I'll find it. I'll find it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is Bob about our age probably? Like,

[Luke Burbank]

I'd say, yeah, maybe early 50s.

[Andrew Walsh]

Baba Bluey.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm going to yell that the next time I drive a monster truck. And, and then I'm trying to point things out. I'm like, oh, is it that? And it's like, no, it's like transmission lubricant. Like, I'm just pointing at cans and things. And, and his, his, his partner who he lives with, she comes out on her way to work, she's got a big Stanley cup of coffee, and she's totally scared just because she doesn't expect me to be standing in the garage. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry. I'm just getting starter fluid. She's like, oh, no problem.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you're both in your tighty whities, DTF St. Louis style.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

What are they doing on those swings? I'll never know. And so, right as I'm about to, I'm just like, literally, I'm gonna bail on the situation. I'm like. He's like, oh, here it is. And this is where also, again, I'm code switching so hard here. Andrew, what do you think I say when he finds it? I'm like, it's always the last place you look. I hate that joke. I actively. It's not even a joke. I dislike that statement. Of course it's the last place you look. Cause you found it. You stopped looking. By definition, it will be the last place you look.

[Andrew Walsh]

It would be insane if it was the third to last place you look. I'm gonna find that pencil, and then I'm gonna keep looking, and I will.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, Andrew, it's always the last place you look.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's still driving me bananas, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

But I'm deployed. I mean, this is what. This is what's going on in my life, Andrew. But here's the thing. Bob goes, and I'm still talking to his wife or his partner, because he is. Now, what I realize is he found the spray can, but he can't find the right cap. So he's going on different cans. He's trying.

[Andrew Walsh]

So. And you're. By the way, when you say the cap. And I think I know this from the way you're kind of showing me on the screen. You're not talking about just the thing. That is a safety.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. Like, imagine a can of spray paint.

[Andrew Walsh]

Imagine the little tip came off, the little tip falling off. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Who knows? But he can't find it. He can't find the right one. So he's looking around, he's pulling it off of different ones. And I can see trying to fit it on. And he's trying to widen. He's got one that, like, would maybe fit, but it's too narrow. He's trying to maybe widen it out. This is all going on while I'm talking to his. His partner. We're just kind of making small talk about some events that she's got going on in town. Etc. And then Bob just comes over to me. He goes, okay, I'm gonna have to help you with this. And he's just holding the can of starter fluid and holding an errant tip from something else. And I was like, okay, so we go over to the lawnmower and I'm so glad that I had googled where does the starter fluid go? Because I have the thing off and he's just like, he just gets down on one knee and because what's happened, what, what has to happen is he has to manually hold the spray tip onto the little tiny plastic thing that comes out of the can of starter fluid to try to press it down so that a completely non focused kind of burble of starter fluid goes generally in the direction of the lawnmower. And so he's like, yeah, I'll do this part. He goes, and just like, you know, I'll try to get some in there. He goes, yeah, I couldn't find the cap or whatever. So he kind of sprays. It's kind of going everywhere, but enough of it is kind of going into the lawnmower. And he's just down on one knee doing this for me at 8:20 in the morning. And I'm standing there and he goes, all right, give it a try. And I pull the thing and it fires up. And it was this beautiful moment of just like neighborly hang. And like he's just over there again. I don't know if he was planning on kneeling in the grass that morning before he went to work, but it was just like, it was really sweet and like, I was happy for a few reasons. One, now I know what to do when this thing doesn't start. I just gotta get some starter fluid.

[Andrew Walsh]

You just gotta get Bob or have

[Luke Burbank]

Bob move in with me. One of the two, whichever reason one

[Andrew Walsh]

can without the proper tip.

[Luke Burbank]

And just like the fact that this was like a team effort involving me and my neighbor and just kind of like, I don't know, it's just like I'm a person who has spent a lot of my life trying to construct a version of my life where that kind of stuff doesn't happen, where I always have it together, where I have my. The equipment that I've purchased, usually at premium prices, works perfectly. And where I don't need to ask someone for help or I don't need to be put in a position that makes me feel slightly embarrassed or not knowledgeable. Now I'm not. I'm not far enough along in my journey that I Don't Google, where do you spray the starter fluid before Bob gets there? The ultimate.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you don't know, you don't know. If I had a brand new mower, I would have to Google it too. And it's not because I've never used it before. Like, if you gave me my old go kart, I would know where to spray it, I think. But you know what I mean, like, all these machines are different. It seems like you're. I mean, for whatever it's worth, like, just give yourself a little break. Like, people do this all the time.

[Luke Burbank]

The ultimate ego death for me would be to ask Bob, where do we spray it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's what I was trying to avoid. I was trying to avoid him coming over there and me going, okay, now where do we spray it? Now that's the voice I use when I am. When I'm not being Matcha. Bob, where do we spray it? So, like, please spray it for me, Bob.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where does it go, Bob?

[Luke Burbank]

Daddy, Daddy, will you please spray it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you love me now, Bob?

[Luke Burbank]

So it's like, so for me, ultimate ego death would be like, I don't even care that he knows that I don't know where the. The starter fluid goes. I'm not there yet. I did, I did make sure I knew what was going on and get the mower ready. So I looked like I knew what was going on. But that being said, it was this nice moment of me needing help from him. Him offering the help, us having a moment together. And again, there was just something about the physicality of it. Him down on one knee, spraying kind of haphazardly, spraying this fluid into the thing. And then it's starting up and then. And then, yeah, just like I got the whole lawn mowed. My theory of the case, by the way, has been completely proven out, which is with a push mower that is self propelled. And by not letting the lawn get out of hand, this is a project that I can knock out in about 35 minutes, which is great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

And so I'm sitting here with you, Andrew, doing the show and gazing upon my now beautiful. And I'm still doing the thing where I'm using the bag, I'm collecting other.

[Andrew Walsh]

The.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not mulching. I'm actually collecting up the grass that's being mowed and then dumping it out in this big pile kind of down on the hill. So it's like, even nicer because I don't have a bunch of loose grass out on the lawn. It's all just like. So. That's a long, boring story to say. Sometimes asking for help is a nice thing and it makes you feel close to people. And I don't do it a lot because I want everyone to think that I have it together all the time. But this morning, it was a nice little moment for me and Bob.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you ask Bob if he has

[Luke Burbank]

where the pencil is Extra?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Somewhere in that pile. In that. In that pile. I promise you there's a pencil. It's probably. But you know, it is. It's construction pencil.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Oh, one of those, like, rectangle ones or the kind of switch. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Which like, you. You like, whittle down with a knife.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, come on. Just. You can feel the testosterone oozing. Get one of those. You can't sharpen that in a pencil sharpener.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's like. No, no.

[Luke Burbank]

You got to use a utility knife

[Andrew Walsh]

to get that bad boy going. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

A Smurf had one of those.

[Andrew Walsh]

Handy Smurf, I think had one of those behind his ear.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, Andrew, quickly, before we thank the dazzling donors, could you queue up our community calendar music? Because we've got a couple of things that I'd like to tell folks.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's TBTL's community calendar. Sorry, I know you didn't call for that. It just sort of felt like it needed that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I like it. Shades of Leon. There was a little red bone I

[Andrew Walsh]

was trying to just be in, like here. Let's just hold on a second here. Yeah, please. Okay. Lead me into this music again. Set me up.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Because we've got a couple of community calendar events I'd love to tell you about.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. It's time for TBTL's community calendar. Here's your host, Luke Burbank.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Andrew. Appreciate that. By the way, that was a great lead in. I like that. That. Let's make that part of the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'd write it down, but I don't have a pencil.

[Luke Burbank]

If you are going to be anywhere near Edinburgh, Scotland, in the month of August, maybe you're going there for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Maybe you're just going to be generally in the area. My niece Maddie, who is studying abroad, who's studying in Scotland, has written a play called A Queen's Way that is going to be staged as part of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This is to the Napier University Drama Society, of which she is a member. The show is going up between August 24 and August 29, and it would be awesome if we had a Couple of tens, maybe show up and help fill the house and, you know, move some tickets and also maybe even write us a little review of the whole thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

So do we know what it's about? Sorry to put you on the spot. Do you have any sense of what it's about or are we keeping that magic?

[Luke Burbank]

No, Andrew, I'm going to tell you. This is from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival website. A kingdom built on murder, thievery and chaos. Can an unwilling and inexperienced teenage peasant really take over the throne? 1. One stupid mistake may have altered Carolyn's life forever and changed the fate of her country. Now, overcome with new responsibilities and threats, Carolyn wonders why so many aspire to rule the world. And if fame is worth the stress. In this medieval satire, characters and audiences alike will ask the question, what is the value of power?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it woke? Is it woke?

[Luke Burbank]

I think I'm gonna say it is, but in the best sort of.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, that sounds awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

The age suitability is 14 plus warnings. There is strong language and swearing, so I guess it's not that woe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, no, I'm in. I'm in. Lead with that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So you can go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and to get it or email me. Just email me lukebtl.net and I'll send you the link. The play is called A Queen's Way Again, it's part of the Fringe Festival. And yeah, I'm so proud of my niece, Maddie. She is just. I mean, all of my nieces and nephews are exceptional kids. And I'm not just saying that in a kind of like I have to because I'm their uncle. But man, oh man, we've got some great young folks in this family and none more driven and sweet and thoughtful than my niece Maddie over there in Scotland. So yeah, if you're gonna be in the area, go check it out now. Speaking of Scotland, Andrew, we've got a listener. The first person I thought of when Maddie mentioned that this play was gonna be up was our friend Avalon in Scotland, who you know, is one of our long running listeners over there. Maybe only listener that I know of in Scotland.

[Andrew Walsh]

And last week's 10 of the week, by the way. Oh, really? Is the TBTL newsletter, which you can sign up [e-mail] by the way. We do have some exciting things happening right around the corner this summer. We are working on the proper time to kind of reveal what we've been working on. But the newsletter might be part of that reveal process, so. So please sign [e-mail] for the TBTL Friday Newsletter which I will start working on and trying to get done before 3:40 this afternoon when the Mariners take the field.

[Luke Burbank]

Thought you had until 6:40 but it

[Andrew Walsh]

turns out I'm working on.

[Luke Burbank]

Should have mowed your newsletter this morning.

[Andrew Walsh]

7:00am I a little jealous of your mowing as well? I need to get out there but yeah, Avalon I believe mentioned this in her 10 of the week form that she filled out. Yeah, but she also sent in. She also sent in this email to us. Says I'm from San Diego originally but you're Scott 10 here in addition to having a little sister who recently celebrated a blurs day. Oh that's right. Avalon also was in the blurs days. I am also soon to become a texten a Texa 10 or a Texas 10. My Scottish husband and I are moving to Houston, Texas at the end of this month. We go for a medley of reasons, but the elevator pitch would be something like my husband received a work opportunity too good to pass up and we have been looking for a route back to the States so I can be closer to my family. It sounds like an insane time to return to the open chemical fire that is the US right now, but I've served abroad since 2008. Wow. So Avalon's been listening from Scotland the whole time. And as God, I hope Avalon still

[Luke Burbank]

likes the show in the States.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if it just doesn't hit the same?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, honestly I could kind of see that because it's like, think about it. You're from the US originally, but now you're living abroad and there's something really nice and comforting about hearing folks back in the States. But then when you're in the States you're like, okay, well I'm getting plenty of United States content now. Maybe I don't need the old burbs in Walsh anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, oh look at this. It says with all that said, which is very close to copyright infringement by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

Watch it.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's kind of Luke's thing. Having said, that is your thing. And Avalon says with all that said,

[Luke Burbank]

all that being said, all that being

[Andrew Walsh]

said, I have spent most of my adult life in Scotland and have never lived in Texas. I have a lot of questions and I need help. I need help Tens. I need to know where's good to get used cars. What kinds of things do folks in Houston consider or look out for when buying a home? Where are the good bars to have a few small beers? Are there any Houston 10 meetups on the horizon? Or I guess you would Say, Houston meetups on the horizon. I'd love to go to there. So this is where the business bros come in. How do we get in touch with the regional branches of the tents? Well, we just did. We just sent out the Bat Signal, which is a reference to the cartoon vigilante, the Batman. So let's see here. I also have a travel document of tips and suggestions I've made, as well as saved maps of Glasgow and Edinburgh since I've hosted many visitors and have a lot of insider tips. So anybody going to Edinburgh can reach out to Avalon via us and we'll connect you. Boy, talk about serendipity.

[Luke Burbank]

Luke, can I ask you an extremely boring question that I'm trying to get to the bottom of? You said that Avalon was 10 of the week in last week' newsletter. Would that be trees? A crowd?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. Was that not last week?

[Luke Burbank]

No. I'm looking at Dean from Adelaide, Australia.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. You know, Avalon was. And we do have an archive online now of all the tenets of the week, but I might be a little bit behind on it. But if you've ever been a Ten of the Week, you can go to the Tent of the week page on tbtl.net and just look at. It's honestly a very nice page. You see all these smiling faces of our listeners who have filled out the form and been featured. But it looks like Avalon was actually featured on May 1, which was almost a month ago. And the subject line of that one was nay First. I believe we did a classic. It was a classic installment of TBTL's Yeas and Nays column. I believe so. That's what that was every time.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew, this sounds like I'm being sarcastic. I'm not. Every time I dip into the newsletter, I'm like, this is really good, man. You're doing a really good job with this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, what was last week's. That one I was proud of last

[Luke Burbank]

week was about trees.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, they're all around us.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. But.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what I do. It was a bunch of. It was a bunch of facts. Oh, that's right. I did a bunch of research about facts about trees. You're right.

[Luke Burbank]

And I like to learn about our friend Dean in Australia, because mostly what I've known about Dean is Dean reposts the show on Blue Sky a bunch. And I also like that Dean is in the city of Adelaide, Australia, which is, of course, my daughter's name, which is kind of a fun thing. Hey, one more. Could we call this Community Calendar? I'm not sure. So everybody knows Coach Ben of the TBTL junior Sluggers fame. Well, it turns out Coach Ben is not the only high flying, you know, the quasi celebrity in the Forstag family. His cousin. So his older brother's son is a guy named Sam Forstag, who is. Get a load of this, Andrew. He's running for Congress in Montana. He just won the Democrat primary. He's a smoke jumper. He's one of those people that jumps out of airplanes. Perfectly good airplanes.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, am I allowed to. He's kind of a smoke show too.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, he's an absolute snack. Are you kidding me?

[Andrew Walsh]

I just. Right. I was googling him right as you said smoke, and I was like, are you gonna say smoke show? Because you're right, he is.

[Luke Burbank]

Dude is an absolute. I mean, come on. He's a dreamboat. Jumps out of perfectly good airplanes to help put out wildfires.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was a perfectly good plane. Why did you.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's the only reason I want to skydive, because I want to make that joke. Why would you jump out of a perfectly good airplane?

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you just say that now for the first time, or is that a reference to a classic joke?

[Luke Burbank]

It's a thing that people. It's a thing that people that are into, like skydiving and stuff will say.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you were just.

[Luke Burbank]

One of my hobbies is jumping out of perfectly good airplane.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I didn't know that. It's less funny now.

[Luke Burbank]

It's always the last place you look,

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew, for a joke.

[Luke Burbank]

But Sam is running as a Democrat in Montana. I think that the seat is to replace Ryan Zinke, which is complicated for a million reasons. I believe Ryan Zinke became Secretary of the Interior, but if I don't want to make sure, I'm not besmirching him, but I think he's smirchable. I think he should be smirched. I think Ryan Zinke was, like, pretty anti environment, but became under this administration like the Secretary of the Interior or something. Even though I feel like his whole thing was a very kind of. Let's see. Yeah, Montana's 1st congressional district. Anyway, point is, Sam Forstag, the cousin of Coach Ben.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wait, sorry. Can I just clear up what you were saying? Cause I could tell that you can get there. He served as the Secretary of the Interior under Trump from 2017 until his resignation in 2019 following a series of ethics inquiries. Right, but he didn't have to give up his seat.

[Luke Burbank]

But I Believe so. I guess he's actually, I guess he's, he's the incumbent. Is he still in August?

[Andrew Walsh]

Because it says he is.

[Luke Burbank]

And so he must have run for Congress and won after.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I guess so. After being.

[Luke Burbank]

But I believe the thing with Zinke was he was a big, like, he was basically in, I don't know if it was petroleum or he was in some kind of an industry that was reminding. He was, he was a rep. He was basically like working for one of these industries that is famously not environmentally friendly, which is exactly why they decided to make him Secretary of the Interior. Yes, it'd be a great job for him to try to get rid of all of the, all of the rules and regulations that help keep these rapacious companies at bay. Anyway, so it looks like Sam, Smoke Show, Smokejumper Sam Forstag is going to be running, I guess against Ryan Zinke. So that's going to be a tall order because incumbency confers a huge amount of advantage in these things. But just saying, if you're in Montana and if you're in this congressional district, Give a look, give a look to Sam Forstag.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen, listen to this from the New York Times. This is the sub headline. Well, I'll read the headline and the sub headline, headline. Let's. And this is just from, I'm assuming a few. Yeah. A couple of days ago, former smokejumper wins Democratic House primary in Montana. Sub headline, Sam for stacks candidacy will test a liberal theory that left leaning politicians running in Republican strongholds can do better in general elections than moderates have done historically. I like the sound of that. For.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'm writing an article called if you are enough of a smoke show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you prevail as a Democrat in a, in a generally red area? I guess we'll find that out. But yeah, if you're in Montana, if you're in Montan Montane. Montan 10. I don't know. Again, I would say, like, I haven't, I'm gonna be honest with you. I haven't read in on all of Sam Forsteg's, you know, policies and what he's advocating for, but if he's Coach. Coach Ben's cousin. I, I met Coach Ben's parents, by the way, Andrew, at the Sluggers game and they are an absolute delight. They're exactly the kind of people I want to be when I am their age. They're vibrant, they're full of life, they're cheering the baseball team. They seem to have really good politics.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're 51.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's what I mean. When I get to be 51, I

[Andrew Walsh]

want to be more like them.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's part of it. Like, think about this. Coach Ben is a little bit younger than me, and this is their. Sam Forstag is their grandson. So I'm hanging out with these folks at the baseball game. This is not one of their sons that's running for Congress. This is the son of one of their sons. And they are not. They did not strike me as particularly elderly people. This is what I don't like about getting older, Andrew, is there are so many things like this that blow my mind.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I'm confused. You said this is his cousin, though, right? Wouldn't that make.

[Luke Burbank]

So I guess this is his nephew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it his.

[Luke Burbank]

It's his brother's kid. Nephew.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay. It's not his cousin. It's his nephew.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is interesting. Okay, sorry. That's important.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it is the son. I think he is the son of Ben's older brother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

If I got that right. So I was saying that wrong. But it's just mostly what I'm grappling with is the fact that, like, this is happening more and more. Like, we were talking about something at Livewire last night, like, backstage, and I just. I. You know, I think Nate Bargettsi has a joke about this, but it's like, there really is a point at which I realize, oh, I'm the oldest person in this room. I'm the oldest person in a lot of rooms now, and I'm only 50. 50. I'm not trying to say 50 is old, but it's a significant amount of the time now when I'm depending on what the event is or what's going on, it's very, very. It's not uncommon that I am the oldest person involved in the conversation that's. Or the thing that's going on now at 50, and that's only gonna become more the case.

[Andrew Walsh]

I could be wrong about this. And you and I have very. We're in kind of very different situations with this, because, of course, you do have a daughter, but because you had a daughter at such a young age and then didn't have kids, you know, in the more traditional age and kind of, you know, have that sort of. Kind of married and family life, the more traditional kind of life. And for me, not having kids at all, I think you. And I think it. Everybody is sort of shocked at how old they're getting at Some point in their life. I feel like everybody sort of has that moment. But there is a chance that it hits a little bit different for somebody especially, like, I'll just say me and Veebs, because now I'm kind of uncomfortable speaking for you. But for me and Veebs, I also think that it's like, like, well, we also just lived a life where we extended our adolescence in a certain way for so long. And then as a lot of people our age kind of settled down and had kids, we just started hanging out with people a little bit younger than us. We didn't make a choice in that. It just ended up being like, well, we're the ones who are still at the bar, still doing karaoke at two in the morning or three in the morning or whatever it is. And so there is a little bit of that. And it struck me, I think I've told you this before. I know I have. A long time ago when I. I was living in Wallingford and just like sort of strutted through the Wallingford Worst festival or whatever, the bratwurst festival they have or something, and it just happened to be going on, but it's in. It was on the property of some really old school style school building and they were holding the bake sale inside. And so I had not been in a classic school building in so long. And because it was an older building, it had a lot of that just sort of like, like sense. I'd never been in this building in my life. But it just still triggered that sense memory for me of like being in, in a school. But I'm already well into my 40s at this point. And it hit me really hard. And it occurred to me, well, if. If I lived a more traditional life where I had a kid in my 20s, I'd be in these spaces and I would have been. There would have been a much smaller gap between Andrew who went to school and Andrew who was now going to schools with his kids. For me, I hadn't been in those spaces for so long that if it hit me, I'm also a nostalgia freak. So it just hit me like a piano on the head as I walked in this building and was just sort of like. It was almost like one of those movies where they tried to visualize all the memories kind of coming at you, like whooshing past you or something like that. And I do think that it hits a little bit different for us.

[Luke Burbank]

How many people do you think in human history over. Under 200. Okay, over 200 or under 200. How many people in human history have died from a piano falling on them? Not in the people in the movies. I'm talking in real life. Over of all time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Over over 200. In the world.

[Aaron Westbury]

Of all time.

[Luke Burbank]

In the world. Over 200 times a piano has been. Is being hoisted into a building. It breaks free and someone's walking under the piano and it hits a. Because I was hot lava quicksand. And a piano falling on me were things that I thought I'd be dealing with a lot more in adult life. I think it's under 200. I think. I think for those elements to come together.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hold on. Do harpsichords count or just standard pianos?

[Luke Burbank]

Standard pianos. And it. And then how about this? Over under 100. No, over under 10. People who the piano falls on. Then they pop up through the piano and they smile and their teeth are piano keys. Over 510 of that happening.

[Andrew Walsh]

Over 5,000. Somehow that happens more than just piano strangely killing them. And I don't know how that happened.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you think, like the younger people. Speaking of us being old, do you think the younger people in the audience even have any idea about the trope of the piano falling on you?

[Andrew Walsh]

The piano makes it a kink sound as one tooth, one tooth key falls out.

[Luke Burbank]

One of the teeth is flat falls out. Also, you're a cat for some reason in this. You're probably a cat.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. I think. I mean, I don't know. That's a good.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it's under 200.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it's over. I don't think there's any way of proving this. So let's just say that I'm right definitively.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll give it to you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that the things that you would want to look at are. And I don't have the answers to this and it makes me sound even more foolish. But. But you'd want to look at. When was the height of pianos being moved into places? You know what I mean? Like, we don't see it as high rises or whatever it is. And there was a time when entertainment was much different. I think there were a lot more pianos and homes, I think, especially in wealthier homes, I think. And you have to look at also, well, what are the countries in the world that would be sort of piano centric, for lack of a better word. It would be a lot of Europe and America, I would guess, for pianos. And you would just sort of think that, like, yeah, maybe it's. I mean, I'm sure that there. It would be like A bell curve, right, of like pianos not really being in existence or popular and then them becoming more popular. And then you would see that hill go up as more and more people are buying pianos and there are more piano related accidents. And now I would guess that both with modern tech, movies, moving technology, and fewer people getting pianos moved into their homes, that were probably on the downside of that slope.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you want to know what AI thinks? Exactly how many people have died from falling pianos is unknown, as there are no official federal statistics tracking this. However, historians and journalists who've investigated the phenomenon estimate that around 26 people have been killed by pianos in the United States over the last century.

[Andrew Walsh]

First of all, I thought you were gonna say 199 and I was gonna be so pissed off.

[Luke Burbank]

That would be so great.

[Andrew Walsh]

But that is so low. Oh, wait. And died. What if they just broke their. What if they were just seriously injured?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, can you imagine? I feel like that thing hits you. I don't know how you're surviving.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, but it doesn't have to be all the way from like the 10th floor. It could be just right above your head and it hits you.

[Luke Burbank]

And then what are you doing walking under. Maybe you're one of the movers.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're one of the movers.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's from the Washington City Paper.

[Andrew Walsh]

Piano at a law enforcement conference.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's the Washington City Paper. Cecil Adams writing, this is in 2013. Yes, falling pianos really can kill you. Let's see here. Pianos are. Let's see. I'm trying to just kind of scan this really quickly. This might be one of those. This might be less a. This might be less of a sort of scientifically researched thing and more of a. Just kind of a tongue in cheek kind of a op ed piece. But I stand by my also impossible to verify theory that it's under 200. Because here's what I think. So much has to happen for someone to be killed by a falling piano. The straps that are holding the piano have to break. The piano has to fall at a very specific rate. The person has to be walking exactly underneath where the piano has broken free. That means nobody associated with the hoisting of the piano blocked off the sidewalk or just stood there, just said, hey, watch out. And by the way, I'm not counting someone being under a piano that's sitting there in a room when one of the legs breaks and the piano somehow crushes them. I'm talking only about pianos that are being hoisted in the air with straps around them. And then the straps break and then the piano falls. Only that. And to me, all of those things. I'm sure there are pianos that have broken free from the straps. I'm sure there are people that have walked under pianos that are being moved. I'm sure that occasionally there are people that are walking under the piano when it breaks free and it falls at such a rate that it smushes them. I just think all of those things happening together. I'm calling it under 200.

[Andrew Walsh]

Are you counting the dog who died that way in A Fish Called Wanda? And am I right that that was a piano?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know about that, but I just saw a scene from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Andrew on TikTok that makes me really want to watch that movie. And it's a scene where I think Steve Martin is trying to pretend that he doesn't have feeling in his legs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I think it's Michael Caine. God, a young Michael Caine. A Michael Caine who's probably about our age. And he's got this strop. He's got this kind of hand whip and he's whipping Steve Martin's character's legs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And it's obviously Steve Martin can feel his legs. And like, it's so funny to me for some reason. And then whoever the woman is that's with him, she goes, look, he's so moved by your help that he's crying.

[Andrew Walsh]

And Steve, Bart's character is just like

[Luke Burbank]

crying from the pain of having his legs whipped. That scene alone looks so frigging funny to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I think I misremembered. I also, because I do remember that now that you say that I've seen that movie. I've seen that movie in the past couple of years and I think I've seen it a lot. I remember seeing that in the. The theater with my parents. And like the. I remember right.

[Luke Burbank]

The glove scene, you've talked about it. Me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that was. That was Genevieve seeing it in the theater with her family. But like, for me, I remember, I mean, at the time, you know, I don't know how old I was as like a tween or something like that, but him saying. And he's playing a character who's like, I guess we would say special needs now. So actually, now that I think about it, I don't know how much it holds up, but he's playing like. Like a guy who's sort of touched to use the language of my parents generation.

[Luke Burbank]

Is he really? Or is he pretending to be.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's Pretending to be. It's all about some sort of a con. And while he's playing this character, while Steven Martin's character is playing this character, he's sitting at the table and he says, can I go to the bathroom? And then Cain says, yes, go ahead. And then there's just a long pause. And then he just says, thank you, I'm done. And I thought. I mean, when I was a kid, I could not get over that. I probably talked about that scene for a year after seeing it. I thought it was so funny.

[Luke Burbank]

I may have to, like, you know, I don't think I've ever seen A Fish Called Wanda either, by the way. So I need to. Those are two, I think, like 1980s sort of, you know, seminal works for certain kind of people that like comedy that I've never had a reference point for. I should probably just take an afternoon and. Or an evening even, and watch some of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I owe you an apology. I owe the listeners an apology. According to a Reddit thread with the subject line a Fish called Wanda at the end, the dog is squashed by A, a piano, B, concrete block, or C, furniture. People are saying, I remembered it as a piano, but it was actually a concrete block. You're thinking. And then somebody says, you're thinking of who Framed Roger Rabbit? And then somebody says, no, that was a safe. So anyway, I don't know. More questions than answers.

[Luke Burbank]

How many people have been killed by falling safes?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, okay. More or less than pianos? More in my mind.

[Luke Burbank]

More, I think. Yes. Good.

[Andrew Walsh]

At least we can agree on something.

[Luke Burbank]

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man.

[Aaron Westbury]

Razzle dazzle.

[Luke Burbank]

On your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready, go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody. Razzle dazzle. All right, let's thank some dazzling donors. What you are hearing right here, my friends, is 100% listen, listener supported podcasting. I have been. This is so boring and forever taking. But I've been listening to a lot of different podcasts lately, and some of them. Well, here's the thing. I'm trying to stop myself from doing. Andrew. I detest the New York Times audio app. I find it so unuser friendly.

[Andrew Walsh]

It used to be one of your favorite things. Not when it had the old version that they killed.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, they used to have just an exclusively audio app for New York Times audio for their podcasts and things like that. Then I think they decided, no, no, no, we want to bring this all in the same umbrella. So the New York Times app is now Both. And there's a part where you could read the articles and then there's the part where you click on these little headphones and that's the audio. The problem is one of the problems is it wants to make you watch. So like if I want to listen to the Ezra Klein Show, I go to the New York Times audio app. I click on the little earphones and then I get the Ezra Klein Show. But it does not want to easily present me with an audio version. It wants me to watch a video version of him. Like an hour and 20 minute of him and his guest on video.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then if you put your phone to sleep and put it in your pocket, it kills it. It kills it. You see that?

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. It's so dumb. It's like, I'm not, I'm listening, listen, I am an active person on the go. I've got lawnmowers to start. I got things to do. I'm not trying to watch this video. But the audio little button is. Sometimes it's not even there, sometimes it doesn't want to. You'll hit it and it freezes up. Or you'll hit it and it'll start activating the video. It is very, very unpleasant. And so what I found myself doing is going to like Spotify to listen to this stuff, which is annoying because I'm paying money for the New York Times. I want to get it ad free. So now I'll find myself walking around listening to the Ezra Klein show with ads on Spotify and other shows where it's like, here's what it is. I'll listen to a show where they're having a very interesting cerebral conversation about, let's say, AI, right? And then I will hear one of these ads that's clearly just slotted in. It's a dynamic ad and it's because whatever I'm listening to is a more is a popular enough show or it's on a big enough network that they have no say in the ads that are playing. And it'll be an ad for AI. So I'm listening to a nuanced Is AI actually here to help us or hurt us or what are some things we need to think about? And then it goes to commercial and it's like, you need to work smarter, not harder. With Tecmo Burst you can get your da ba da. And it's the most sort of non self aware ad for some AI technology that's basically doing all the things that the people have been having a nuanced conversation about, right? In the ad feature of the show. And I'm always like, thank God we don't have that going on on tbtl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew, listen, I know you're trying to make a point, and I'm saying this to be helpful, hopefully, and not to make you look foolish, but I don't know what you're talking about. I don't listen to the New York Times audio all that much, but I just open my app, and at the very bottom, there's a little headphone symbol, like, Right. Can you see that? And when I click on that, it just took me directly to the audio stuff. And then I clicked on the Ezra Klein show and there's a bunch of audio that's not doing video for me.

[Luke Burbank]

And I love trying to trick you. I'm Tracy Bennett. I get to pick.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, the question is if I. If I. If I lock my stream.

[Luke Burbank]

A fun fact about me is that

[Andrew Walsh]

I've locked my screen.

[Luke Burbank]

A witch who was in this.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't see where I can get the video. It's just audio.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I mean, all I can tell you is I listen to two episodes of the show every week. I don't know if it's an app thing, if it's the. If it's my Apple versus yours, but it is a thing that happens to be.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was just saying, I mean, maybe there's a chance that you're looking at a video section and not an audio section or something. Just Bew that I. Andrew, come on.

[Luke Burbank]

Give you a little credit, okay?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know why your app would be so different, but maybe they don't offer audio.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I. Do you think I'm incapable of clicking on the picture of the headphones when I want to listen to this thing?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not sure what's going on over there.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, anyway, maybe there. Maybe. Maybe I don't know that. Maybe I'm clicking on a video icon which does not exist to watch something. Or maybe I'm clicking on the thing that I know I'm clicking on. Regardless, none of this confusion happens on TBTL because we don't have any ads. What we have is listener support from folks like Harley and Amy Cody. Harley says. By the way, Harley, I don't want you to internalize my dislike for loud motorcycles to mean that I dislike your name. I love your name, and I love that you're supporting us. From Stanwood, Washington. Harley says Harley, like an annoying, loud motorcycle that's not on you. Harley, you have a beautiful, wonderful name that's on the People that are making their motorcycles too loud for me. Harley and Amy say nothing. Too much to say, but we love you, beautiful business boys. Sorry this is so late. Power out. We've got to. Can we put something in the paperwork next year, Andrew, that, like, somehow tells people that they never need to apologize to us about the timing of these or when they send them in or. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think we do. I mean, John sends out emails, and I'm pretty sure John says, you don't have to fill this out. I'm pretty sure he says, like, it's just. It's for fun. And if you want to, it's our way of thanking you. Yeah, I don't. I really don't want people to feel. I don't want people to feel at all guilty. Maybe we could even come up with something where it's kind of like, hey, just check this box. If you would like us just to say your name, but not necessarily make you write something. Because I. It's, you know, it's kind of nice to acknowledge folks, too. Maybe people want to be. Hey, yeah, I want to acknowledge the fact that I'm supporting something that I love, but I don't feel like having to, like, kind of think and sit down and write something.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I. There's got to be a way that this cannot feel like, pressure on people because we are so grateful for the donation. That's the number one thing. And. And, you know, if you don't. Yeah. If you. If you don't feel like. If nothing comes to mind to write on a particular year, that's a. Okay. But, yeah, we would love to acknowledge you if you want to be acknowledged. We'd love to. To not. If you would like to not be acknowledged. Whatever you want. The point is, it is absolutely your dime, Harley and Amy, and we are just incredibly grateful. So thank you to both of you out there in Stanwood, Washington, for keeping TBTL happening here in the year of our Lord 2026. Maestro, on your mark. On your mark.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready. Go.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody rattles Daddy. It's our pal Mike Farnin in West Hollywoo, California. Pronounced Mike Farnan. Pronounced. He says a little loud. Mike says, hi, fellow gravy suckers. Oh, wait a minute. Do we think Mike is the one that sent the gravy Sucker membership? Remember that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Although it sounds like Mike sent this in. Maybe after that episode aired, you know, and I saw Gravy Suckers here, I thought that that was an I think you should leave thing. But I forgot. No, you're talking about the. The Gravy Sucker membership card that we were sent in the mail. Yes. Maybe Mike is maybe the good eye. Maybe this is his way of identifying himself subtly.

[Luke Burbank]

Mike says Mike. Keying off of the same principle of Harley and Amy, he says june question mark. Message time. Sounds like Mike just wrote this message. Being that it was June, it's only been June for five days. I've now rewritten this message 20 times out of joy, out of intimacy for my fellow tens wanting to pet Lucy and John's dogs. To be blunt, past years sucked in so many unexpected ways. But having both Luke and Andrew in my ears and the wonderful online Tens community on a daily basis provided both solace and amusement in every way possible. Might things be looking up? There were ICE attacks on my beloved Twin Cities of Minnesota. I don't know if I knew that Mike was originally from the Twin Cities.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that does ring a bell.

[Luke Burbank]

Now that rings a bell for you. Immigrants are the best. And it was an affront to basic human decency and their attack on the rule of law. I would agree with all of those statements, Mike. I was back there in February, which is the best time to visit Minnesota, trying to do my own tiny part to render aid. I was genuinely inspired by my fellow Minnesotans and their resistance. A huge shout out to John for his passionate embrace of his adopted state. Please donate to your local food shelf. To sum things up with some twisted tea and some tears about trees, I feel like the Tens can resist. All that is wrong with the world is that. Has there ever been, Andrew, a better encapsulation of what we're trying to do here? We celebrate both twisted tea and we also cry about trees. And somehow it helps us all feel better.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, it's interesting that the crying about trees, when I first saw that, I was like, oh, that's a reference to the fact that you used to tell the story about how you one time drove back to your old neighborhood and looked at a tree. And that's a. By the way, that's a touching story, I think, and it's very relatable. Wasn't it a tree that you planted like a long time ago and it grew, right? And you went back and you visited your neighborhood and you had an emotional moment. But it's funny, we now have, and this probably won't make you feel better, but we now have two tree, different two tree tier stories.

[Luke Burbank]

We have to be more specific.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, listen, if you're going to cry about shit, I Honestly don't think crying about trees is the worst of it. I think there's a reason why. I mean, I think that they are good symbols of things.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, you're right. But that is pretty amazing that we've now got. I'm like, please be more specific about which tree crying episode you are referencing.

[Andrew Walsh]

This tree. And which tree. And regarding this. Which Twisted Tea episode you're talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's right. So I guess you do 4,000, 743 of these, and you know, you're gonna create multiple events. I might. You know, Andrew, I might. Now that I've got this lawn all whipped into shape. Now, I do still have a lot of work to do this afternoon, but I. I may. I may take your advice and grab me an Arnold Palmer twisted Teeth, and if it's not torrentially raining this afternoon, sit out on the old deck and admire the lawn and have a twisted Tea. I'll probably get a loose one because I gotta get.

[Andrew Walsh]

You gotta get a loose one.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't need a. You know, I don't think I'm gonna be able to get through even over the course of the summer, maybe 12 of them, but I could take a loose one.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I need to take a little break because I bought a loose one the other day because, if you'll recall, at the beginning of this summer, I went to buy a loose one and they were all out, and then I ended up buying a 12 pack of them. And I was like, this is a bad ide idea. And it kind of was. And I eventually took me a little bit of time, but I eventually did get through that. And I shared some with people who came over and wanted to get a little taste of that twisted tea lifestyle that I've been talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

But.

[Andrew Walsh]

So we eventually used up those. And then the other. It had been a while. And then, I want to say a week ago or something, I did get one. And I had it in the perfect situation, like got done mowing the lawn or doing some sort of yard project. And I'll be honest with you, I drank it and I just had this sort of. I had like, kind of a. I had the sugar shakes afterwards, not the shakes, but you know what I mean? It just like.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's why the reason I'm saying

[Luke Burbank]

this is life for everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I feel like maybe I. I think that by buying that 12 pack, it became less of a very occasional thing that was sort of funny or whatever, and it maybe just became too much. I just you know, too early in this summer, with the twisted tea you

[Luke Burbank]

had, you cigarette packed yourself yourself.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, right. You know. Yes, I said smoke yourself.

[Luke Burbank]

Look, you caught yourself smoking a twisted tea, and you made yourself smoke the whole pack.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I'll be honest with you, like, and I. I want to. I want to replace it. I want something to replace it. And like, the thing is, I don't. I don't know if you can understand what I'm saying here. I feel like you will understand this. Like, obviously, if it's the alcohol I'm talking about, there are plenty of things to replace it. I love. I also love a gin and tonic. And I like other delivery systems. Yes, exactly. And I love. I love. Here's my gin and tonic thing. I love coming home from my volunteer work on a Sunday during the summer. Make me and Genevieve a gin and tonic and fire up the grill. That's a great G and T time, you know, Lovely. And so I'm not saying, like, oh, I need something to replace twisted tea. What could I possibly drink? But it fit this or it filled this very specific niche thing. It was just like a touch dirt baggy because I was buying them at the store and then putting them in water. You know what I mean? It just like, it fulfilled this thing. And when I go into the store, sometimes I'm like, I want something like that. Like some sort of a dumb treat. A dumb, slightly shameful little treat. And now those aren't filling the void or filling it too much or something like that. I need to find something else.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a season of your life, and it's okay that now you've moved on, as it says in the good book to everything. Twist, twist.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Is that in the book of time

[Luke Burbank]

to every purpose under heaven. Is that even from the Bible, or is that just. Just.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I think it is. It's a Beatitude, is it not?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, is it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I think. I think that that that song is borrowing from the Bible, I think. Okay, good.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Mike, thank you so much for supporting tbtl.

[Andrew Walsh]

We.

[Luke Burbank]

We could not do this without you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Stories.

[Luke Burbank]

So if you don't mind, Andrew, we'll try to, you know, not belabor this too much, but we do have this story that we referenced, like, maybe a week ago that we have not gotten to, but I still think it's kind of interesting. And on the subject of youth baseball, we're still in the afterglow of the successful TBTL junior sluggers season, but there's this kid in Idaho I Believe who was. He's a baseball player himself. He was umping a little league game and the coach of the other Little league team was incensed interestingly enough, not about a play on the field but about music that was being played I think before the game. Maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was it walk up music or is it pregame music? I don't recall, but I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I think it was.

[Andrew Walsh]

Welcome into the late.

[Luke Burbank]

Calm down everybody. Let's see.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Rob Zombie is never gonna stop. Music that the opposing team is playing is how it's described in the Times.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, if I can just mention when I went to that sluggers game now a couple of weeks ago, I think the other team, Super Chill Ice Cream, they were playing some kind of like warm up music. I think they were playing girl talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh really?

[Luke Burbank]

Which I both liked because I really like girl talk. But I was kind of like, like huh. Let me, let me scrub through this in my mind. Are we, Are we. Is this all kid appropriate? I don't. Maybe it was just some other mashup that sounded like it. But they were playing some kind of cool hip hoppy music.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did you see that? That. I think it might have been Night Ripper or something. One of his classic records just turned 20 years old like this week or last week.

[Luke Burbank]

This young umpire is named Jameson Morris. And what I also think is kind of interesting is I actually read this piece in the Athletic about him. It was an interview with him. Him, a teen umpire tossed a baseball coach in a now viral video. Here's his side of the story. You get into the life of this Jameson Morris kid and it's just like it almost, it doesn't even seem real. He's like the, he's like the student body president of his school. He's also like the star pitcher. He's like led them to the like state championship or something. He's like just seems like he's the president of the associated student body of his school. He's this star baseball player player. He just doesn't seem to be phased by anything. He seems like a pretty nice kid actually all around in this interview. The video itself though. And I'll again I'm trying to play this off of YouTube which is, which is tough. Is this guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it kind of stepped on? It's funny, I know I watched this a couple of weeks ago.

[Luke Burbank]

The link is from the New York Times.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh okay, good, good.

[Luke Burbank]

But now it's like.

[Andrew Walsh]

But is it a guy commenting on it? Because I keep on clicking on things. I keep on saying it's a guy floating around.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I don't like? The New York Times is linking to this. Or the athletic is linking to this, which makes me think this is still the only video of it. And the guy is doing this thing that I dislike. I just told you about this the other day. He's wearing what looks like a MAGA hat, but it actually says make rec ball great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Again, this is the person. Okay, wait, I'm commenting.

[Luke Burbank]

It's so triggering to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what's weird is now the link. The New York Times is working for me, and it's sending me to a TikTok, but I'm not seeing a guy in a hat.

[Luke Burbank]

Why was I getting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well, let me just see. I could be wrong here. Let me just see. Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to start this over. This is TikTok, so I got to be a little bit careful with the audio here as far as firing it properly. And so I'm going to let it refresh. But, yeah, this seems to be the unadulterated audio. Thank you. So this is like cell phone video that is shot. It's going to be a little bit tough to hear, but it's kind of shot from some spectator who's like, kind of behind the fence that protects balls from going into the crowd. But they're, like, in the front row. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just tell you, like, thank God for those fences. Even at the jalapenos level.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm sitting there. I'm talking to Becca. I'm talking to some of the other parents, and these are. We're talking about however old the jalapenos are, 10, 11. Even with them, a foul ball that hits that fence, you're just like. You jump. I can't imagine at the high school level, those things are whizzing, especially because

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm used to being at, like, ballparks that have netting there or something. But at this level, it's just going to be a chain link. Right. And I haven't heard that sound in a long time. But I must scare you out of your boots.

[Luke Burbank]

It's jarring.

[Andrew Walsh]

Rattles the hel out of you.

[Luke Burbank]

But anyway, Nick. Jarring.

[Andrew Walsh]

So we're far. So we're. We're a little bit far away, but we see an adult man wearing shorts and a black shirt, and it's almost like. It almost looks stage. He's wearing a shirt that says Coach in white. Coach, like letters across the back of it. And. And the kid. So maybe like I don't know, half a foot shorter than him, wearing a umpire's guard in front of him and just a yellow T shirt. And I think we're, I think we're going to hear the umpire entire kid first.

[Luke Burbank]

A lot of games here, lots of

[Andrew Walsh]

walk up songs and I have not

[Luke Burbank]

heard a single inappropriate word, nothing come out of this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, coach, you're either going back to the dugout or your team's forfeiting.

[Luke Burbank]

That's your choice.

[Aaron Westbury]

And you're way worse than the music.

[Luke Burbank]

The music will happen.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's, that's their choice. That's not me. You can really not hear what the coach is saying.

[Luke Burbank]

So the coach, what the coach is mad about is this Rob Zombie song that he thinks is inappropriate. And the kid ump, the young person ump is saying, I haven't heard anything inappropriate. We've gotta, you know, just continue on with the game. The coach wanted the other team to, I don't know if it was just turn the music off or be somehow punished for this. This was very tricky. So when I first saw this, just this going around and the kid, you know, kind of calmly dealing with the coach, I assumed it was a ball strike thing and something, you know, in the game. I then was actually very triggered because this coach could have been my coach.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now you know that, you know that there's more audio to go, right? I was, I guess I'm just trying

[Luke Burbank]

to, I'm just trying to kind of tee it up here maybe a little more, maybe too much. But like the school, this coach that's protesting or who's mad, is the coach of this school called Logos School, which is a very religious school in Moscow, Idaho. The founder of the school is a guy named Doug Wilson who I think might be a favorite pastor of Pete Hegson Seth, who's advocated for making homosexuality illegal. He thinks that women's suffrage was a mistake. And other. He said that black people were better off during slavery. I mean just like wild and like I didn't go to a school that was as extreme as that. But this idea that like we're just trying to play baseball and our weird coach is out trying to litigate if Rob Zombie walk up music is non. Is offensive and non Christian or not, it really puts the back of my hairs up, the hairs on the back of my neck up because it very much reminds me unfortunately of my youth.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And you know, I'll go back to the audio here in a second too, but I didn't realize that either until I'm Reading this, like Q and A interview between the Times and this young umpire. And we're gonna continue to hear him just sound very level headed in such an impressive way out on the field. But he's the same way in the interview with the New York Times as well. Like he just said, hey, it's hard. My intentions of the argument is never to speak against this church. My beliefs don't matter against the church, whatnot. My argument wasn't opposed to any specific group. Like, he's not, you know, because the interviewer is trying to say, like, how much were you aware of the sort of the backstory, the backstory here. And he's like, it just wasn't really about that. So let's go back to the scene here.

[Luke Burbank]

I can call a cop and see

[Andrew Walsh]

if they care about the music, about little kids ears, because there's not been a single inappropriate come out of that speaker. No. You either go back to your dugout

[Luke Burbank]

or you go to your car because

[Andrew Walsh]

you're interrupting the game.

[Aaron Westbury]

Get him out of here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Love that the crowd is on the side of the. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. He's saying, if you didn't quite hear that, he's saying, you can go back to your ump or you can go to your car. And he sort of gestures.

[Aaron Westbury]

Shut up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sit down now. They're not yelling at you. You're to up obstructing their game.

[Luke Burbank]

These boys want to play. Do you guys want to play baseball

[Andrew Walsh]

or do you want to have this

[Luke Burbank]

coach complain to me about the music? I was saying music. You're gone. All right. Get out of here, please. All right, let's go, boy.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then he says, you're gone. Get out of here. He kicks the coach out. And then the coach, of course, takes all the boys with him. Now that is not the. The umpire's decision. The umpire was just so telling the coach, out, get out of there.

[Luke Burbank]

Some other adult could have coached the team.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. And. And so anyway, the. He just kind of takes his toys and goes home.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Talk about snowflake behavior. So you are a coach. You heard Rob Zombie. You thought it was demonic and inappropriate. The teenage umpire says, I've been listening to the music. There's nothing inappropriate in there. And then you make it such an issue that he sends you to your car, sends you to the locker room, as it were. And so then you take, like you said, Andrew, you take your toys and go home. You ruin the day for all of your players who just showed up and wanted to Play baseball. Like, talk about snowflake behavior. Talk about being, like, so freaking sensitive.

[Andrew Walsh]

I noticed that the New York Times also linked to the Rob Zombie song in question. I was like, oh, that's interesting. I was gonna play it, but the thing is, I was a little bit worried about also, you know, us and copyrighted music and all that. But as I clicked on it, what I think is interesting is the New York Times does not link to the song. It links to the song's lyrics, by the way. And I'm just scanning it here. So I think the New York Times is sort of like, pointing out, like, because there is something, like you mentioned that this coach thought the music sounded demonic or something. I'm looking at the lyrics. It says, yeah, I'm on Durango number five, Take Me to the Home, Kick Boots in Ultra Live. Maybe that's a sexual reference. So far, that's the only thing. But there's nothing in here that is explicit that I'm noticing. But there is a sound. Like, the same way you don't necessarily like the sound of Rob Zombie opening up the Howard Stern show. Right. I don't know what those lyrics are. American Nightmare, right? Is that what he's singing?

[Luke Burbank]

Dig deep down to Planet X.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so it's kind of like this guy was hearing this music and being like, well, I want to protect my kids from this music because it sounded bad. But, like, what is. Can a sound be bad? Defiant beat, Andrew, Is it defiant beat? Right. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know that. I mean, I think that's why the more I read into this story, the more, like I said, I got a little bit triggered because it reminded me of my youth, because, you know, famously on this show, I once. And my dad, you know, I don't want to drag poor Walt because he's a sweet guy. And I think he wouldn't. He would not respond that. He would not respond this way now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now.

[Luke Burbank]

But back in the day, when they were very much in their church life, I had a Christian rap tape. It was a guy rapping about how great Jesus was. And my dad said he thought the beat was defined.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

As if a beat could be. You know, like, it. It made him uncomfortable because it sounded probably rhythmically like music he had heard bumping out of cars at stoplights. And it gave him a feeling much like this coach was getting. Now, for the record, I don't think my dad took that tape away. I think he was just commenting on it. But, like, it's weird to me that 40 years later, people are still operating this way in the world. What I can say about my dad is he doesn't operate in the world that way anymore. He has learned that that's kind of silly. You got this coach, like you said, comically wearing a stenciled. A black shirt. That's stenciled. Stenciled coach on the back, is still hearing defiant beats.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Now I just. For whatever it's worth, I see that, like, here's a line. Yeah, the devil rides a dinosaur, or dinosaur, as I like to say.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I don't believe in dinosaurs.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, like, that's the. I mean, this is like the thing. Like I'm. I don't know what I'm trying to do. I'm definitely not trying to defend this guy, but I'm trying to just put myself in his head just for a minute. It's kind of like, no, this isn't like explicitly gory or explicitly sexual, but to him, if he has this like, you know, belief system that I am not defending in any way here, but he hears a devil. There's devil imagery before this baseball game. And my Christian children, I must protect their ears from this. That must be kind of what's going through his head. But obviously I think that's ridiculous also.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like, grow a pair. Like, how about this? How about you beat these heathens on the baseball diamond? How about you just assume that God is in control? This is the thing. I don't want to make this into a religious conversation, but the thing that I always find so confusing is God. In this guy's worldview, God is omnipotent. God is in control of everything. Except if these kids hear Rob Zombie. That's the one area that God doesn't have control of. God, is God so in control that he can make a Rob Zombie song he can't control? You know, like, it's like, okay, God's in control. Great. Well then the kids will be okay playing baseball and hearing Rob Zombie as walk up. Music.

[Andrew Walsh]

Music.

[Luke Burbank]

And God's got it worked out. Does God, is God in control or not? That's the fundamental question. And if God is in control, then you don't have to be that worried about a trans swimmer that you don't have to be. I know I'm sort of jumping topics here, but it's like there's this kind of religious worldview right now that it's like God is supreme and rules everything, but also is so fragile that we've got to be. We gotta be out here making sure that, no, nobody's Hearing Rob Zombie music or nobody's like, like, is he in control or not? If he is, you can all just take the day off of sweating the

[Andrew Walsh]

details, you know, here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not from a female. All right, Andrew, I actually have a. An email from a listener that's got some tape association that I wanted to play and kind of get your reaction to. I know you've actually heard this tape, but the listeners haven't. This was an email from our friend from listener Alec. Alec said, hey, dummies. You all may have already seen this and it may be too long for actual intro audio, but this kid telling the same joke over and over again in his standup routine really got me. Felt like something I'd hear introing tbtl Peace and love from Alex in Brooklyn. And so this is a young comedian. His name is Aaron Westbury. And yeah, I think this is a kind of. I don't know, it's like five minutes long. I don't know if maybe that's too long to play here or what, but let's just play it and kind of see where we land with it. This is from his YouTube channel. It says telling the same joke over and over and over. So this is him, like at his house before he goes to, like an open mic mic describing what he is going to do today.

[Aaron Westbury]

I'm going to be telling the same joke over and over and over and over and over again at an open mic. When I have a joke that works, I'm like, okay, well, why don't I just keep telling that joke? Like, why would I even try a different one?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm kind of nervous.

[Aaron Westbury]

Pretty good crowd here today.

[Luke Burbank]

So he's at the open mic now. This is all obviously just shot on his phone. The audio is a little jerky.

[Aaron Westbury]

But one of the people that runs the open mic, they were like talking to everybody going at the night and they were like, guys, try to be funny. I'm just thinking, I'm like, yeah, I think it's funny.

[Andrew Walsh]

Funny.

[Aaron Westbury]

But will the audience that's here think it's funny? We'll find out very soon, though, now on the way.

[Luke Burbank]

So here he goes. He's on stage now he's in front of the. The crowd. Here comes the joke.

[Aaron Westbury]

We'll find out very soon, though. Now on the way here, I actually cut somebody off at that red light out there. And then they came up, they rolled their window down. They're like, hey, nice blinker, idiot. I was like, I didn't. Never used it. I didn't even know I had one, honestly. Well, that went pretty well. I'm gonna just keep telling that joke. On the way here, out of this red light, I accidentally cut somebody off, and they came up and rolled their window down. They're like, hey, nice blinker, idiot. Like, I didn't even have it on. I didn't even know I had one, honestly. Yeah, on the way here, out of this red light, I actually cut somebody off, and they came up and rolled her winner down. They're like, hey, nice winker, idiot. I, like, I didn't even have it on. I didn't even know I had one, honestly. Yeah, out of this red light out

[Luke Burbank]

here,

[Aaron Westbury]

actually cut somebody off, and they came up and rolled their winner down like, hey, nice blinker, idiot. Like, I didn't even have it on. I didn't even know I had one, honestly.

[Luke Burbank]

Go ahead. You can tell. It's like he's psyching himself up to tell it again.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is that what's going on? That's actually interesting info, because when I first listened to this, I think I bailed at a certain point because I was feeling uncomfortable and. Or maybe I fast forwarded to the end a little bit just to make sure that he, you know, kind of. I wanted to hear how he landed it or something, but I'm pretty sure that I stopped watching. I think I was puttering around the kitchen and it did. This was giving me the bad feeling sort of in the way that it was supposed to be.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's so weird because I have the exact same kind of discomfort around that stuff, silence and things like this as you do generally. Andrew. I don't know why I thought this was so genius, and it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. But he's on stage and he's pausing. He's kind of looking down at the ground. He's kind of like. You could tell. He's sort of like, am I going to do now? Maybe he's just playing it up. My guess is his plan has always been to just continue telling this, but he's playing it like, should I do it again? And what's interesting to me about this, this is the audience response. You had, like, laughter at the first joke, laughter when he repeated it, laughter the third time, and then you're starting to lose people, and we'll see where it goes.

[Aaron Westbury]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Aaron Westbury]

My name is Aaron. I'm from Green Greenville. I grew up here. And out of this Red light. I actually cut somebody off. They came with me, rolled their window down. Hey, nice blinker, idiot. Like, I didn't even have it on. I didn't even know I had one. Honestly,

[Luke Burbank]

I got it. Tired. Sorry.

[Aaron Westbury]

Yeah. Out of this red light, actually cut somebody off. They came up and rolled their window down. Like, hey, nice blinker, idiot. I was like, I didn't even have it on. I didn't know I had one.

[Andrew Walsh]

One.

[Aaron Westbury]

Honestly,

[Luke Burbank]

The tension of if he's going to do it again is actually very interesting to me creatively.

[Andrew Walsh]

I actually love hearing the crowd react.

[Luke Burbank]

He's got the attention of the room in a way that is, like, really hard to do even if you're a really good standup. It's like this. This thing has been created now, this new kind of thing, like, which is. Is he gonna subject us to the joke again? And every time he finishes just becomes like, the sort of, like, energy in the room is so interesting to me.

[Aaron Westbury]

Out of this red light, actually cut somebody off, and they came up to me, rolled their window down and like, hey, nice blinker, idiot. I was like, I didn't even know I had one. Honestly.

[Andrew Walsh]

No more stop. Bump you. Whoa.

[Aaron Westbury]

Buffering hero skip out of this red light.

[Luke Burbank]

So you get a woman swearing at him from the crowd and someone yelling, stop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow. See, I had not heard that. I have not heard this part.

[Luke Burbank]

I skipped over it. Interesting. All right, okay. So then he's back outside. So I guess that's kind of it. He sort of. He tells it one last time. We don't even see the completion of it. But then this is him walking out of the theater afterwards.

[Aaron Westbury]

Buffering your own skip out of this red light. All right, well, it went well, actually. I'm, like, kind of surprised. I don't know what I was expecting. I think I was. I was expecting to go, well for a little bit, and then people get tired of it. But they were. That crowd was. They were chilling and they kept laughing at it. Oh, my goodness. It's always such a weird feel.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway.

[Andrew Walsh]

I kind of just love this guy. Dude. Yeah. There's something about these two pieces of tape that you just played. Like, I don't. And maybe they both have. They're both. Both like the Southern accented, youngish men, I would say. Probably right.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is all the same guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can just go to the dugout and go to your car. But I don't know that guy.

[Luke Burbank]

The kid in Idaho.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's what I mean. There's something about these two different pieces of tape that you've played. That's. For some reason, like, I like them both. And I feel drawn to both of these fellas for some reason, and they're. They're very calm delivery and, like. And I'm just very, very uncomfortable with this sort of social sort of experiment, you know, like, the face. Hey, why don't. Why don't we just face the wrong way on an elevator and just look somebody in the eye? You know what I mean? Like, well, you know what? I'm not a psycho. I would. I just can't. I can't do that. You know what I mean? But I. I do appreciate. I really want to hear how he ended this, though. I got to say, I wish he. I wanted to hear him. I wanted to hear how the crowd sent him off. You know, like, when he says, hey, thanks, you guys have been really patient with me or something like that. Right. I feel like I need.

[Luke Burbank]

Do not get that satisfaction, which. A few thoughts on that quickly. One is, you and I have commented on this before. Like, when I first started, like, looking at too much TikTok, I had noticed a sort of a creative choice of younger generations to not give the viewer what I consider to be all the relevant information. Things would just end midway through a joke or a statement or. Yeah. The fact that we don't get to see if the crowd clapped when he left the stage or not is, like, for me, kind of unsatisfying, but also, it is almost a creative choice of sorts. And then, like, I'm with you. That, like, I really do not like prank culture, like, on the Internet, where it's like, we went to the home. We went to Home Depot, and we did this to people or we. Whatever. What I like about this is that he went to a comedy club, you know, so he did a kind of a performance art thing on stage, but it was at a comedy club club where people had come to be entertained or at least to see something happen. And if I can just close out the week with the oldest thing I've ever said, like, this seems like the right place to do that. I like that he was. I like that he. If he's gonna deploy this kind of, like, Andy Kaufman energy on someone, do it at a place where people have decided to go to watch entertainment, not where they're just trying to go through their life. They're trying to get gas or. Or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And there is something. That's why I was sort of interested in the crowd dynamic. And I feel like I'm trying to Express something here that I don't think I'm going to be able to. But I do think that you could do this exact same thing, and the energy could just be different and it could seem more like you're antagonizing your audience. There's something disarming in the way that he has done this. Can you see somebody with maybe coming in there with a little bit of a different energy and it's a little bit less funny and a little bit meaner somehow doing the same exact thing just. Just based on their body language and their tone of voice?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. There's something that I think is likable. I don't want to say kid, because a. Everybody who's younger than me seems like a kid, but as we've already mentioned, that's a growing, rapidly growing population of people. But there's something about this. This person, this young person that's just kind of disarming and winning, like, makes me kind of like him. And so I think, yeah, him doing this on stage. Stage is. Is not grading, but somebody else doing it. It could be very grading.

[Andrew Walsh]

It just.

[Luke Burbank]

Which. Which also gets to this thing of, like, there are certain people. There are people who say funny things, and then there are people who say things funny. And he kind of seems to be sort of. He sort of is a little bit of the best of both. Because actually, I do think it's a solid joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Like, just.

[Luke Burbank]

Just the joke itself is a. Is a good joke. But then also he has just like. I like. I like his accent. I like his whole. His. His vibe up there. So he's got. He's kind of. Here's what I'm gonna say. I bet you we'll be hearing more from this person. You know, I wonder if this isn't just kind of like. Because if his. If his comedy brain already understands this kind of thing, if it can write a good joke, and if he understands also just kind of like an interesting way to tell the joke or think about performing in front of people.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's comfortable enough to do it and to leave the pauses in there. So I think that's a huge part of it too, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, absolutely. I don't. To this day, I don't have that kind of confidence, and I probably never will. If I was going to get that kind of confidence, I would have gotten it a while ago.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. I have another apology to the audience. You know how yesterday on the show I was closing out with some music, and we've a couple of times identified the song as Surf Ninja 3. That would be the name of the artist, apparently. Because I was looking for some music to close today's show. And there's more music in my little folder from Surface Ninja 3 with a different name.

[Luke Burbank]

What's Surf Ninja 3's name? What's the artist formerly known as Surf Ninja?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no, what I'm saying is I think I was calling. I think I was saying we were playing a song called Surf Ninja 3 by a band called House of Mango, but we've been playing a song called House of Mango by Surf Ninja 3. And now I have another song by Surf Ninja 3 called Chicha Doodle do that we'll be going out with today, but still by the band, apparently, surf ninja 3.

[Luke Burbank]

The question though, Andrew, did the Ninja Turtles actually surf? And has anyone done a deep dive on that?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, and if. Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question that we should probably wrap up, but.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

How many people do you think over. Under 200 have died from a surfboard falling on their head. Dropped by a Surf Ninja 3. That's a great. Over or under 200.

[Luke Burbank]

What I'm tempted to do is repeat the question we don't have for the next five minutes, but I think I'll leave that to the young stand up comics of the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

That cool. How do we like this though?

[Luke Burbank]

You know, I mean, I like all this. If this is a person making the music, I have to say I like the music.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I worry that it's. It's a real person. Okay, good. I like it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's a good point. As opposed to AI. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it's like rights free and it has a name like whatever. Surf Ninja 3.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I do like the music though. I enjoy it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe it's people. Yeah. I think there are artists who are. Again, the source on this is that YouTube Creators Library where people make stuff and post it in this day and age. You're right. How much did AI help with this? I don't know. But I've also pulled this, I think a couple of years ago. So I like to think this is real music.

[Luke Burbank]

Good people. You're saying it's people?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's people.

[Luke Burbank]

Ninja 3 is people. Boy. Let's keep the references as young as

[Andrew Walsh]

we can as possible.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. All right, that's going to do it for today's episode and bring us to the end of our broadcast week. Thanks everybody for spending the time with us. We'll be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for all of you. In the meantime, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves. Stay safe. Go, Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Power out.