#4762 A Reverse Where's Waldo

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL #4762 "A Reverse Where's Waldo"

Date: July 2, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

---

Episode Overview

In this Thursday edition of TBTL, Luke and Andrew meander through a classic, spirited mix of everyday dilemmas and cultural commentary, anchored in their signature self-deprecating banter. This episode covers everything from the evolution (or decline) of denim quality, the ins and outs of personal hygiene routines, and the misadventures of faded celebrities—plus, a detour into national and global events spinning out from the reflecting pool fiasco and World Cup fever. The episode is peppered with listener messages (“Blursdays”) and plenty of 80s and 90s pop culture riffs.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Fashion, Jorts, and Ageing Denim

• Fashion Choices Revealed: Andrew admits to wearing cutoff jeans during the recording, surprising Luke, who believed Andrew to be a “never shorts on the job” kind of guy.
  • "I am wearing actual cutoffs... not short off," Andrew (03:27)
  • "I've been feeling embarrassed about my shorts wearing behavior because of my assumption that you would never do that." Luke (09:03)
• Quality of Modern Denim: Both lament how today’s jeans often include synthetic material and don't hold up like in the past. Replacing worn favorites with “identical” pairs leads to disappointment due to inconsistent materials.
  • "Even by all description they should be the exact same product," Luke (11:46)

2. Miniatures, Cannibalism, and the Internet’s Influence

• Genevieve’s Etsy Shop: Andrew’s partner, Genevieve, gets shout outs for selling miniatures, including a “salad bowl for mice.”
• Unexpected Cannibalism Conversations: Prompted by a friend’s text, the duo dives into a comically detailed debate about what constitutes cannibalism—drawing the “line” at anything that doesn’t slough or clip off naturally.
  • "You could eat someone's hair, fingernails or toenails and not be a cannibal." Luke (16:10)
• Gross-Out Moment: Andrew’s shower leftover (a soap sliver stuck to his shin) prompts a “confessional” and more hygiene talk.

3. Shower and Soap Protocols

• The hosts compare how they use bars of soap (vs. body wash) and what constitutes real cleanliness. The “sliver surfacing” dilemma: Andrew fuses old and new bars; Luke simply tosses them.
  • "I take the...little sliver and...press it onto the new bar of soap and then...lather it up..." Andrew (21:55)
  • Detailed breakdown of Luke's rapid-fire, utilitarian three-minute shower routine (23:37).

4. Mickey Rourke: A Case Study in Hollywood Ephemera

• Hollywood Hard-Luck: Luke tells the saga of Mickey Rourke, whose career and finances unraveled despite a return to critical favor with “The Wrestler.”
  • "He turned the money down and has since been evicted from the house." Luke (33:28)
  • "We know that, I mean, this man was a Hollywood it boy...combined, you know, and so therefore, you know, inherent in this story is a story of loss and bad decisions." Andrew (37:24)
• 30 Rock’s Rourke Gags: Andrew cues a series of rapid-fire, hilarious “Mickey Rourke” references from 30 Rock. Timestamps: (33:36–35:41)

5. Current Events: The Reflecting Pool Debacle and DC Politics

• TMZ’s DC Bureau: Discussion of how TMZ's “aggressive tabloid approach” is clashing with the formality of DC press culture.
• Reflecting Pool Fiasco: Deep dive into the saga of the National Mall’s reflecting pool—algal blooms, accusations of vandalism, political pressure, and the National Park Service deploying bizarre, dystopian PA announcements.
  • "'Loitering is not permitted in this area. Please proceed to a designated location. Thank you for your cooperation.' Oh my God. That is so messed up." Luke (47:54)
• Heartbreak Over Government Conformity: The hosts reflect on the sadness of federal agencies issuing obviously pressured statements to match political narratives.
  • "It is very clear that the Dear Leader pressured them to put out a statement that said that it had been cut." Luke (45:46)

6. Sports: The World Cup, Rooting Dynamics, and Uniform Critique

• Who Are You Rooting For? Luke discusses his principle of rooting for “the more brown country” unless the US is playing—defaulting to underdogs and countries historically marginalized.
  • "I'm always going to be rooting for the country that is more brown, if that makes any sense." Luke (62:48)
• US Soccer & Uniform Aesthetics: Both criticize the current US uniforms as being a "reverse Where's Waldo," leading to the episode title.
  • "When you see a bunch of fans wearing these, it looks like a weird reverse Where's Waldo?" Andrew (62:08)

7. Listener Messages: The Blursday Segment (Starts at 52:34)

• "Blursdays": Heartfelt and funny listener shout-outs and birthday messages for family, friends, and new babies, with host banter about listeners' lives and repeated jokes about the mysterious “Mike the accountant.”
  • "Happy actual blursday to our new 5 Declan…You are the sweetest baby and your mom and I love you more than you'll ever know. Welcome to the world, Declan." Andrew (55:05)
• Recurring in-jokes: The number of years listeners have collectively spent tuning in (“35 plus years”), and support for long-time fans.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Denim Quality Downfall:
  "Everything seems cheaper. Oh, wow. Oh, you can hear the audience getting younger as I talk. Everything's getting worse." — Andrew (03:55)
• Shorts Disclosure:
  "I have been operating under this assumption...that you would never wear shorts to do the show." — Luke (08:52) "Let it fly, my boy, let it fly. Now, I'm not saying I won't judge you, but maybe I'll judge you positively." — Andrew (09:18)
• Soap Sliver Confession:
  "It was the tiny sliver of bar soap that was left from the shower...it's actually soap, but it is weird that I was walking around..." — Andrew (19:37)
• On Cannibalism Technicalities:
  "You could eat someone's hair, fingernails or toenails and not be a cannibal. But if you start eating...part of their nose, you would, I think, be a cannibal." — Luke (16:10, 16:45)
• Reflecting Pool Dystopia:
  "The place, the reflecting pool...the place where Martin Luther King Jr. Gave the I Have a Dream speech." — Luke (48:14)
• TMZ in Washington:
  "You throw a guy in whose job previously was standing outside of LAX trying to yell for...RuPaul to stop for a picture...they are doing God's work out there in D.C." — Luke (40:43)
• On Mickey Rourke:
  "He turned the money down and has since been evicted from the house. Well, you rarely see somebody turn down like $100,000. Like that." — Luke (33:28, 33:35)
• World Cup Allegiances:
  "I'm rooting for the country that has a population that I feel more a...sort of like I want to see good things happen to." — Luke (63:13)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Fashion/Denim/Jorts Begin: 03:00–16:00
• Cannibalism & Miniatures: 14:00–19:00
• Soap Sliver & Hygiene: 18:26–26:00
• Mickey Rourke Saga: 26:40–36:25
• 30 Rock "Mickey Rourke" Compilation: 33:36–35:41
• Reflecting Pool & TMZ/DC: 39:44–48:14
• World Cup, Sports & Allegiances: 60:31–65:59
• Blursdays (Listener Messages): 52:34–56:58

---

Tone & Style

• Self-deprecating, informal, and free-associative: Both hosts continually riff and digress while circling back to their main points in a warm, inviting way.
• Pop-culture heavy: References to 80s–90s TV, Hollywood, and current meme-able politics abound.
• Community-focused: Listener messages and in-jokes illustrate the strong, ongoing relationship between show and audience.

---

Conclusion

This episode of TBTL is emblematic of its enduring formula: two longtime friends offering humorous, intimately detailed takes on everyday life, nostalgia, and the weirdness of the modern world. Whether they’re debating the finer points of soap preservation or commiserating over faded celebrities’ fortunes, Luke and Andrew’s improvisational chemistry and the community-driven Blursday segment keep the show light, relatable, and “too beautiful to live.”

---

Memorable Sign-off:
"Go Croatia. And please remember, no mountain too tall." — Luke (66:54)
"And good luck to all. Power out." — Andrew (67:01)

Transcript

[Unknown Speaker]

What is Bitcoin? Bitcoin is a here pair of digital currency. It's anonymous and decentralized. It's a way of making millions of computers to track each and every bitcoin on a public ledger called the blockchain. Since it leverages a public record, everyone knows bitcoins are associated with each account and prevents anyone from spending money that isn't there. That's why Bitcoin is attracted to amazing players. Common Sachs, Microsoft, even the Winklevoss twins. Want to try out Bitcoin for yourself? Same way it brings a digital currency for mechanics like Coinbase. And don't worry, save your US Dollars. At least for now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tbtl. I can't understand a word you said the whole time.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you eat some peanut butter or something?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

You sound like a dog with peanut

[Luke Burbank]

butter on the roof of your mouth.

[Unknown Speaker]

We're just a bunch of savages, right? We're not like your fancy California friends, your George Clooney and your California raisins.

[Andrew Walsh]

Fair warning, I party pretty hard. I've been wrecking parties since I was.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like the Hunter S. Thompson of bar mitzvahs.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought that was some of the funniest I've heard you guys do in a long time. I was lol ing.

[Luke Burbank]

How can they say this about me?

[Unknown Speaker]

I don't believe it.

[Andrew Walsh]

I show them. I record everything.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't miss the sausage fest.

[Luke Burbank]

My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host, Carol.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hold my calls.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia where it's not raining. So that's kind of a win. It's also not that sunny, but we're gonna take it here on this Thursday edition of the program as we've made it to episode 4762 in a collector series, Let the Fun Begin. Seattle was recently awarded a not really a prize because they didn't go around giving things to the residents of Seattle. But like the Seattle hot dog, what's

[Andrew Walsh]

courageous about eating a hot dog?

[Luke Burbank]

It was declared the best hot dog in America by the New York Times. We will go through the other hot dogs that it beat and try to analyze if the New York Times folks made the right decision or not. Also, is Jackass the movie that is the. The latest Jackass movie, which is allegedly going to be their final movie because some of them are in their late 50s now. Is it actually the template for masculinity and how it should actually look.

[Andrew Walsh]

Two bros blowing it up article in

[Luke Burbank]

the New York Times has me thinking about that. Also, it's a Thursday, AKA a blursday, so do some blurs day messages and we'll say hello to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show may be best known for his depictions of tall ships. As he always says, it's Scatman's world and we just live in it. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. And welcome to a conversational choose your own adventure for the beginning of the show here. Would you like to talk about cut off jeans or the Large Hadron Collider?

[Luke Burbank]

Did somebody's pair of jorts fall into the Large Hadron Collider? Because then we could cover both topics.

[Andrew Walsh]

Would be nice if it could somehow cover both. I am wearing.

[Luke Burbank]

We figured out a way to speed up jorts.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am wearing actual cutoffs. Like not. Whoa, not G. You know, not. Not short off.

[Luke Burbank]

But may I play it once again? I'll hold my calls as we are recording this program. I can't see your. No, your lower half. You are wearing cutoffs cutoff jeans.

[Andrew Walsh]

They do effectively hide my thunder. Although they are kind of similar in color and I would say vibe as Tobias Funke's cutoffs in Arrested Development.

[Luke Burbank]

There are dozens of you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, here, listen. You know what? This conversation is actually about the lack of denim available these days. Have you noticed this? You can't just. Well, maybe I'm an idiot. I haven't tried that hard. But it seems like back in the day you could just buy jeans. And now whenever I buy anything that sort of looks like jeans online, there's some sort of synthetic material that might be a little bit stretchy. And I don't even totally hate those, except that they start to fade, like, immediately. They just seem like kind of everything seems cheaper. Oh, wow. Oh, you can hear the audience getting younger as I talk. Everything's getting worse. But I had this one pair of jeans that I loved and loved and loved. And I wore a hole in the knee. And then I was like, well, I can't quite throw them away because I feel like there's something special about denim these days. So I just cut them off. I'm just wearing cutoffs.

[Luke Burbank]

But see, I'm. I'm shocked to hear that you're wearing shorts of any kind for the show because even more so than I am, you are a person who, you know, you dress for the job that you want to quit, which is co hosting tvtl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly like you.

[Luke Burbank]

You, you, you know, you wear collared shirts. You, in my experience, always wear pants.

[Andrew Walsh]

I always wear toe rings. Always. At least one toe ring on each.

[Luke Burbank]

I've asked you to stop.

[Andrew Walsh]

At least one toe ring on each toe.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And one of those, you got one that is clearly turning one of your toes green because it's made out of a very. You know, I had a Mickey Mouse ring when I was a kid that turned one of my fingers, the finger was on entirely green.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you describe the ring?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it looked kind of. I think it looked, you know, like it was made of brass or something. But it had. So was. It was, you know, had a little kind of, you know, what do you call basically like a gem in the middle of it. But instead of a gem, it was like a little. Almost like a curio of Mickey Mouse.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. So it was a little bit three dimensional. It wasn't like a flat depiction of him that laid flat on the top of your finger?

[Luke Burbank]

No, it was a kind of a brass ring that had, you know, a flat spot on it that then had a little white piece of plastic kind of glued to it. And that thing had Mickey Mouse on it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I think I can pick.

[Luke Burbank]

And I loved it so much. But it did the classic kind of, you know, thing which is like, oh, that's gonna turn your finger green. It absolutely happened to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wow.

[Luke Burbank]

But what has you wearing shorts? Are you dashing off to some sort of picnic or barbecue after this? What are you doing wearing shorts?

[Andrew Walsh]

I. Well, I mean, I'm glad you're sitting down for this, but I mean, I wear shorts. I mean, for the past several years, I believe for years and years, I wear shorts quite a bit during the show.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I often wear during the summertime. This is honestly news to me. During the summertime I barely change what I'm wearing. Even. Even by my usual sl. Slovenly standards. Like, I just, I have like, you know, I used to have like three or four pairs of like almost identical shorts, but they were just different colors. I don't know if they. I think they were maybe from Target. Maybe they were that Target brand.

[Luke Burbank]

Not Targets. Targets.

[Andrew Walsh]

What was the Target brand? Not Massimo. Right. That was something else, but I think

[Luke Burbank]

it might have been Massimo.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, well these are some.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe Target like licensed it or something.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, these were just like, you know, not, not my taste in shorts are very. Is very kind of basic. I just want a plain, straight faced, short that doesn't have any extra pockets, and I don't want pleats and I don't want extra pockets. I definitely don't want cargo shorts, but

[Luke Burbank]

I'm surprised by that because I do often carry stuff around and you use the cargo.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't like the looks. I don't like the looks of a cargo short, but I do like. But these were like, you know, I would traditionally just have like a, you know, a stack of like, kind of canvas, various colored shorts that would look generally presentable. And I mean, I never presented them to you apparently, but yeah, so I usually wear that and then a pair of slip on shoes. That's my summer look. Listen, I need. I need to know not if I can trust you, but if I can trust John Sklarov here, because I will show you my cutoffs here on the screen, but I do not want this going public. And I'm being quite serious about this. If there's any risk of John taking this and me showing off my cutoffs to you and putting that on Instagram or something, this isn't a bit, by the way, that I'm doing. I literally do not want this to go public.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the thing is, there are three people that work for two Beautiful to biz.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Two of them would love to see your gams online, and one of them wouldn't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So I'm just saying you have a kind of a sort of a structural issue here, John, and I could outvote you.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm gonna remain seated then. Sounds good.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know that again, and I consider myself on some level to be the maybe slightly more casual dresser of the two of us as it relates to when we record the show. Because sometimes I'll have shorts on too. Maybe I'll still have my running shorts on or what have you.

[Andrew Walsh]

And there have been times before our run.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, there will be times where I will honestly, like, think, oh, I want to go get something out of the fridge here in the studio, but I won't want to get up because I won't want you to see that I have shorts on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, don't give it away for free.

[Luke Burbank]

No, because I'm. Because I have been operating under this assumption, I'm being totally serious that, like, you would never wear shorts to do the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I've been wearing shorts for years

[Luke Burbank]

and that you would be judging me ever so slightly if you saw me get up to go get like some half and half out of the refrigerator and you saw that I was wearing shorts. So I've Been, I've been feeling embarrassed about my shorts wearing behavior because of my assumption that you would never do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let it fly, my boy, let it fly. Now, I'm not saying I won't judge you, but maybe I'll judge you positively. Maybe I'll.

[Luke Burbank]

You are right about the challenges and this is a, a very senior conversation to have. But like, in fact, the, the Levi's that I'm wearing right now, which are full pants and I don't care.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, look at that, the Internet season.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm wearing pants and I don't care.

[Andrew Walsh]

Those are good. Those are good classic jeans that you're wearing there. I remember those.

[Luke Burbank]

But guess what? I have, Andrew, I have two additional pairs or pair. I have two more of these that I bought on the Internet that are allegedly the exact down to the like, you know, I did the old man thing, which is I like these jeans.

[Andrew Walsh]

I bought.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what, I bought these, I bought these jeans from the Levi's store in Times Square in New York.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I was with Becca. I don't know what had happened, maybe an accident somehow. I needed pants. And, and because I wouldn't normally go to the Levi's store in Times Square, I mean, that's like very touristy, very, you know, full of people, just not where I would normally be going getting my clothes. For some reason I needed jeans. I went to this Levi's store and guess what? I love these jeans so much. They fit nicely. They, you know, I like the material.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you know what the number is? Are they 501? So I can't remember what my Levi 1C3. So, yeah, that's what I really would. I need to crack into to afford actual denim these days.

[Luke Burbank]

There. I think they're 500 ones. But I liked them so much that what I did was I was like, I need to get additional pairs of these. And so I noted very, very carefully and very specifically. Exactly, of course, the waist size, the length, what the, you know, I just, I like, I went online and I bought the exact same pair of jeans from Levi's.com and in fact I bought two pairs because that's how. Whatever I am. And they show up and guess what? They're not exactly the same. They're a slightly different material. They're denim, but just got a little more stretch in them, a little more something. Even though by all description they should be the exact same product.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is really important for me to know because I've been thinking to myself, like I've been going to. Whether it's like, Everlane, which is where I think the jeans I'm wearing now came from, like, years and years ago. And I literally. These were good, solid denim pants that I, over the years, have worn a full hole into the knee, leading me to cut them off. And so, you know, it takes a long time to do that. I'm not, like, out there. Like, I'm not. I'm not crouching and holding footballs for. I'm not a place kicker holder. What do you call them? Placeholder.

[Luke Burbank]

Placeholder.

[Andrew Walsh]

I am a placeholder.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that really not what they call that person?

[Andrew Walsh]

When you brought me tl, you said you were a placeholder. I said you still are.

[Luke Burbank]

And don't forget it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. No, it keeps.

[Luke Burbank]

You better start showing those legs off, buddy, if you want to keep this interim position.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you know what I mean. Like, it takes a long time to wear a hole in a good pair of jeans if you live my kind of lifestyle. And it happened so they were very old jeans, is my point. And just something has happened in the world since then. But again, I buy my pants from an Everlane, or maybe not. It hasn't been Everlane in a while, but, like, Stitch fix, I'll still use sometimes, which, you know, sources from various brands and. And what have you. And I get some pants that I like, but they're never jeans. And I've been thinking, well, I guess what I have to do is just go to the Levi's online store. I wasn't thinking about Manhattan. I was just thinking I'll just go. There is.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe there's a Levi's store in Seattle, though, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, is there? Well, then maybe I have to do that and touch those things, because, I mean, that is the thing these days. Like, you can't buy anything online because you don't know it's gonna look normal, but then it's gonna show up, and it's gonna be, oh, it's a miniature that I bought. Or it's made of synthetic, stretchy. And that's Genevieve's job, we all know, to buy things. Oh, miniatures. Yeah. Genevieve.

[Luke Burbank]

Was that really the price that you quoted me? I saw that she posted it on Instagram. This little bowl, I guess it's a miniature.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like, the size of it would be like, if you were making a little play about mice who are holding a tea party. This would be a bowl that would sit on the table between the mice. Would you agree that that's about the size of the bowl, maybe slightly bigger?

[Luke Burbank]

It would be a Salad bowl for mice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, it's a. I want to be clear. Yeah, no, you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

Not a cereal bowl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean that, though, it wouldn't be a cereal bowl. It would be a salad bowl.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, yes, you're absolutely right. So, okay, listener. What part of a salad bowl for mice don't you understand? But. Okay, so here's the thing. Yeah, you want to talk about this a little bit? So Genevieve and I don't have her information in front of me, otherwise I would totally promote the hell out of this. But Genevieve went from being a pretty casual online. Yeah, she. She might have posted on Instagram.

[Luke Burbank]

That's where I saw it.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, she came into the room with it the other day.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I know. But later.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, she.

[Luke Burbank]

She had a little, like a bouquet with it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, she, like.

[Luke Burbank]

She basically, like, photo styled it and.

[Andrew Walsh]

You sure in that. You're sure it's that one? Because here's the deal. What I wanted to mention was she has an. She has a couple of online stores. I think she was selling on ebay, and now she's on, I believe. What is the other one? Etsy. I think she has her own Etsy shop now. Oh, yeah, there it is. It's her tiny little bowl. You know what that looks. Oh, yeah. She put a penny next to it to show how big it is. Put one of my.

[Luke Burbank]

Then two mice.

[Andrew Walsh]

And she's eating healthy.

[Luke Burbank]

Two mice. Where'd she pluck?

[Andrew Walsh]

Those are leaves from my. From my bubble gum plant. Where the.

[Unknown Speaker]

This is.

[Luke Burbank]

This is how you're finding out that

[Andrew Walsh]

I leave social media and I find out Genevieve's been barber. What's the word I'm looking for? Why can't I ever think of the word for when a human being eats another human being? This has come up.

[Luke Burbank]

Cannibalism.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cannibalism. This came up. You know what?

[Luke Burbank]

Honestly, if there's words that you can't think up off the top of your head, that's not the worst one to not be.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it's not. Do you know what the weird thing is? I literally got a text from my buddy. I'm going to leave all names off of this because you might hear this. I got a text from my buddy right as you were starting the show. Right as you were starting the show. And he is referring to his son here, who I believe his son is maybe about 16 years older. About that. He says, My 16 year old just asked, how much of a person do you have to eat to be considered a cannibal? Do you have Any amount. And I wrote, yes, my thought is therapy.

[Luke Burbank]

But no, I take that back. Not any amount. I think you could eat.

[Andrew Walsh]

You eat a finger, you're a cannibal.

[Luke Burbank]

I think, first of all, I think you could eat some amount of a fingernail or a toenail and you wouldn't be a cannibal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Somebody else's.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Yeah. No. I mean, I chew my own fingernails. I don't consider myself a cannibal. I think you could eat.

[Andrew Walsh]

You see yourself fine or young.

[Unknown Speaker]

Huh.

[Luke Burbank]

But two out of three, I think you could eat someone's fingernail or toenail and you wouldn't be cannibalizing them because it's not. It's like they're not gonna die from you eating it. It's not even gonna really hurt them. Let's just say that, you know, they clip their fingernails and then you go and you pick them up and eat them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Whereas you should still have consent, I feel like.

[Luke Burbank]

But if you ate part of their nose, you would, I think, be a cannibal.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like you put hair and then nails.

[Luke Burbank]

No, hair is keratin. It's in the category of fingernails and toenails. You could eat someone's hair, fingernails or toenails and not be a cannibal. But if you start eating. But then also I feel like intent matters.

[Andrew Walsh]

What if something sloughs off of them?

[Luke Burbank]

Anything that sloughs off of them is fair game.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is awful. Let's go back to talking about my.

[Luke Burbank]

Did your friend in the text, did they also answer the question or just pose the question?

[Andrew Walsh]

And I said, take him to therapy. And then that's the last. That's the last.

[Luke Burbank]

Tell them that the official. The official ruling on the matter is anything that sloughs off or could be consumed without it causing pain to the main dish, AKA the person, but it

[Andrew Walsh]

has to be already removed by the person. Like, you can't go chewing somebody else's fingernail or if it's still attached.

[Luke Burbank]

And is this a money making opportunity? There's got to be something on the dark web where people are paying, and let's be honest, it's. Dudes are paying to chew someone else's fingernails. That has to be a king.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is rough stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway, I heard somebody, I heard a comic saying that if you are attracted to them, it is a kink. If you're attracted to me, then that is officially a kink.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, I can definitely relate to that. Can I just tell you something? While we're talking about really gross stuff? I just got Icked out so bad. For a second, I didn't even want to tell you about it. But now I realize what it is. And this is weird. I mean, this is a weird show today. And what I'm about to admit to

[Luke Burbank]

you is for the listeners who can't see this, he's a bag of human toes that he's sifting through.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is not true. But let me be honest with you. I'm sitting here, we've established that. I'm wearing shorts.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

You and I are talking. I reach down to scratch my shin, the front of my shin, right. And I feel that there's something stuck to it. This just happened a second ago. And I'm like, what is this? And I touch it, and it's almost like a waxy kind of thing, and it's very thin. But what. And I don't know what it is. It's on my shin. And so while you're talking, I just peeled it off and I was like, I don't know what that is. I just threw it in the garbage can. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to think about it. But I'm in the back of my head thinking, like, what was it? That was not a sticker. It didn't seem like it was a sticker. I was like, is this some sort of food? Is this like a slice of cheese that somehow got to my shin? Keep in mind, I don't even eat cheese. But that's. It's gross as that to anybody. Especially disturbing to me. I just realized now I can't find it in my trash anymore, but I just realized what it is. It was the tiny sliver of bar soap that was left from the shower. So I don't know what your routine is.

[Luke Burbank]

It's one of the least gross things that you could.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, it's actually soap, but it is weird that I was walking around. So what I do is. Do you use bars of soap in the shower? Are you a body wash guy?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm a bar of soap in the shower. No, washcloth guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, me too, for the most part,

[Luke Burbank]

which I've heard from some of my black friends is a very white thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

I've been told that not using a washcloth is very white coated.

[Andrew Walsh]

Interesting.

[Luke Burbank]

And I'll be honest with you. I grew up in a home where we didn't ever have a washcloth. Really? In the shower there was like a bar of soap, which is, if you think about it, a little gross.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you're Sharing? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

If you're in a house with a bunch of people and there's just a bar of soap and everyone's just grabbing it and using it and kind of, you know, sort of applying it to whatever parts of their body they do. On the other hand, it is soap.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So it raises the question, is the soap sort of self cleaning itself as it goes along? Like if a bar of soap has been on somebody else's sort of unmentionable area, was the soap also sort of cleaning up behind itself and upon itself before you then apply it to an unmentionable part of your body?

[Andrew Walsh]

After everything that we've said leading up to this conversation, I can't believe that there are still things that are unmentionable to the. Because I feel like we mentioned some pretty. Pretty unmentionable things. No, that's a washing shower. So you don't keep an extra bar of soap in the shower to clean the bar of soap that you use to clean your body? I have two bars of soap. I have the soap that I use to clean my body, but then when I'm done, I take the other bar of soap and I clean the first bar of soap.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't turn this into spotless. You have a place for these thoughts, sir.

[Andrew Walsh]

You have a weekly place, so I assume that you do something similar to me. Although speaking of spotless, I mentioned this move to Hannah Brooks Olson, my co host on that show, and she was not familiar with this move, which I just. I couldn't imagine what another move was. But like, I use a bar of soap. As you use the bar of soap, it gets smaller and smaller and smaller, obviously. And then eventually it's like this tiny little sliver that is too small to kind of use. So what I do is I take the new bar of soap out of the box. I then I take the. The little sliver and I kind of press it onto the new bar of soap and then kind of like, you know, lather it up a little bit so it fuses together and that's how you get the last use out of that tiny sliver of soap. It ends up kind of fusing to the new bar of soap. Do you do that?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think that I do that, but it sounds fun. And I would toss it.

[Andrew Walsh]

You just toss it when it gets too small.

[Luke Burbank]

I do feel kind of wasteful. No, I would just maybe toss it in the. In the bathroom. A wastebasket, I guess when I'm cleaning, if I'm cleaning the shower, one of the One of the things that I'm doing is analyzing where we're at with the bar of soap. And if the bar of soap has. That's the really that when I change it out and if it's gotten down to sliver status, then I'll just toss the sliver out. I'll get a new bar of. I think I'm currently going with Irish Spring.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's one of my. Yeah, I like. I like the greens. I go back and forth between the greens and the oranges. In fact, doing this move that I'm talking about where you fuse them together, this is exactly what I was dealing with right now. My last bar of soap was probably dial. You know what I mean when I say orange. So it's that sort of orangish color that dial soap is. And my new bar of soap is an Irish Spring esque thing. I don't know if it's Irish Spring or something similar to that, but the green kind of marbly look. And my orange soap, my dial was a tiny, tiny, little, thin, little sliver. I fused them together, doing an orange. Olive green. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Mmm. Okay, do you want to know my.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then the orange sloughed off onto my shin. Apparently when I was showering today, I had them fused and then they unfused, apparently. And I didn't realize that they consciously uncoupled. They consciously uncoupled. And I guess all morning I've been walking around with this little. Nobody has seen me but this little sliver of soap stuck to my shin, which is like I feel pretty exposed.

[Luke Burbank]

That again, of all the things that could be sticking to you, that is without a doubt the least gross thing. In fact, it is. It's an agent of cleanliness.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I guess so. Still weird.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's my. Here's, here's. First of all, I take about. I know you like to take a good long shower sometimes you. And you sometimes do multiple showers in a day. I don't think. Other than. I can't even think of an example. But other than just very specific circumstances, I am never in the shower for more than three minutes. And this is exactly what those three minutes look like. Step into the shower. It's already running. Because I want to get at the temperature that I. That I like. Step into the shower. Get, you know, wet from head to toe. Put a dollop of my very expensive anti balding shampoo into my hand. It's Nioxin. Put that on my hair. Leave it in. Because you're supposed to like, let it kind Of, I don't know, penetrate the scalp or whatever. So that's the very first thing I'm doing because I want that in my. In my hair for. Or my scalp for at least the three minutes I'm in the shower. Grab the bar of soap, get a lather going. Armpit, armpit with the soap. Okay, Armpit, soap into the. Into each armpit. Then get a really big hand lather going. Put the soap back onto the soap dish in the shower. Go for the front and the back unmentionables, but with my hands, with very soapy hands. So I guess actually, if, you know, if you are at my house, Andrew, and you do want to take a shower, that soap is not as gross as it could be because the soap has not touched those regions of my body. My very soapy, lathered hands have touched those regions of my body. And then I reach up, I get the soap again, I reset the lather, I get a little more lather, put the soap back, and then I hit my feet. And I'm realizing I don't think that I really wash my shins. I think I called out the mummy years ago for never washing his legs or feet. He said he just felt like the water. He also, let's just say, had a sporadic bathing schedule. But I remember him saying something like, oh, no, I never wash my legs or feet. That's just like the water goes down there when I'm showering. And I thought that was pretty weird. But, you know, the other move that I do, part of the reason that I don't have the bar of soap for my feet is because I want my hands to be very soapy because I do this move where. And again, it's funny because I'm describing it to you, but it is so unbelievably muscle memory and, like, subconscious when I'm doing it, I don't even think about this. But I get again, a good lather. I go down to my foot, I wash the bottom of my foot, the top of my foot, and then I lace my fingers between my toes, my soapy fingers between my toes. And then I do the same thing on the other, other foot. Top of the foot or bottom of the foot? Top of the foot. Lace my soapy fingers in between my toes to get the in between my toes parts clean. And now then we stand under the water.

[Andrew Walsh]

School would love this. By the way,

[Luke Burbank]

if you don't know what Andrew's talking about, it's that he

[Andrew Walsh]

goes to called Gene Siskel. Would love this. Dot net. Yes. Now, we learned yesterday from watching 501 old episodes of Siskel and Ebert that Gene Siskel appreciates a good sex scene

[Luke Burbank]

in a movie and isn't shy about telling you and when he really tells

[Andrew Walsh]

you what he expects, when he's disappointed

[Luke Burbank]

that he didn't get enough. Mickey Rourke, you know, Mickey Rourke did something very interesting recently, Andrew, the actor Mickey Rourke, who's kind of had a interesting life. You know, he was. I think he was kind of a critical darling when he made like Barfly. Right. That's a kind of. Is that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Was that literally based. Was that a. Was that a critically heralded movie? I don't.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if the movie was. I think. I think there was a period of time where, Where Mickey Rourke's acting was considered very naturalistic and kind of, I think, appreciated. And Barfly, that's sort of Bukowski, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that a Bukowski book or something?

[Andrew Walsh]

It is based on, I believe, a composite of a couple of his books or stories or whatever. But he was definitely. He. I think he wrote. I don't know if he. I think he might have written the screenplay. It's definitely a Bukowski movie. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But so Mickey Rourke was in that and then wasn't he in the Pope of Greenwich Village or something? I think that was his. I think that was his, like, maybe more so than Barfly, I think. I think the Pope of Greenwich Village or something. He was, you know, it was considered a breakout role and he was kind of, again, appreciated for his acting because he was kind of non traditional in a lot of the ways that he delivered his lines and did things and then he, you know, ends up in Yesterday. I thought you might have been referencing Gene Siskel, referencing Nine and a Half Weeks, where basically I think Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger just. The whole movie is them just having sex.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's really. I feel like. I don't think it's the whole movie. I think that that is how you and I remember, because we heard about it as little as Young heard about it.

[Luke Burbank]

People rented about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, you did watch the whole. The whole thing is sex. I did not. I thought that.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'm not. Listen, I'm not. I'm not saying that the whole thing is sex. I'm saying I did watch it as like a 14 year old.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

With my X ray glasses on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

It didn't help.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's ex.

[Luke Burbank]

I wanted her to be more naked than she.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is sex forward. I do know that.

[Luke Burbank]

Extremely sex forward. And it made me Think that in adulthood I was gonna be integrating food into much more of my sex than, I'll be honest, I have.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can you leave your hat on? That's what I wanted to know.

[Luke Burbank]

It's very like, thinking back on it now as an adult who has had actual sex, that movie almost seems sort of like, I don't know, like someone who has not had sex's idea of what really racy sex is like. It feels like there's a lot of, like, opening the refrigerator and like, taking out strawberries, but then like smashing them into, like, someone's face.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like you could almost. You could. Your memory of it very easily slips into a sort of a Naked Gun style sex scene where it gets really.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you know what? I'm thinking of Disorderly, starring the fat boys, where they just kept throwing pies at each other. But so then he, you know, that was kind of, you know, even that movie, I don't think anyone thought the movie was good, but he was still kind of. I don't know, he was making. He was make. He was being, you know, hired by big Hollywood directors. Then I think he kind of fell off for kind of a long time. He was also an amateur boxer. This whole time he was into that. And then, of course, he goes through. He has a number of kind of, it would appear regrettable plastic surgeries and procedures. And he's. I don't know if he ever had substance use issues or if I'm just conflating the movie Barfly, but like, he was kind of like off everybody's radar and kind of just doing bit parts and this and that. And then they put him in the Wrestler. Remember? That was his big kind of return, his big sort of redemption, you know, bring him back. We like Mick or, you know, we think Mickey Rourke is a really good actor or whatever. And then, I don't know, I guess he just didn't quite sort of capitalize on that or whatever. And so the story about six months ago or maybe a year ago was like, Mickey Rourke is $60,000 behind in his rent. And the paparazzi kept snapping pictures of him coming out and getting doordash in front of a, I would say, fairly modest home in Los Angeles that he was. I mean, it was shocking to me that the rent back rent on this home could ever end up at $60,000. Because it wasn't like he owes $60,000 of rent on his mansion, that is $30,000 a month. Like, this appeared to be a home where the rent couldn't have been more than, you know, $1,500 a month or something. But I was pretty struck by the fact that it never occurred to me that I'm always kind of shocked when I find out that somebody in Hollywood, particularly a guy, has been wearing hairpieces or wigs the whole time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

Which is strange because, like, you know, they wear all kinds of. Particularly in movies, you know, guys wear all kinds of prosthetics. And you know, the fact that like Billy Bob Thornton is very, very bald, but he's just always wearing a hairpiece in public. John Travolta, I see he's wearing a hairpiece.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought he was just covering it up with bandanas and cowboy style hats and whatnot.

[Luke Burbank]

I think he's doing that too. But then sometimes I'll see him being interviewed and he just has hair. And it's like, interesting. I'm always like, I feel like, Billy Bob, we know that you're wearing a piece. But on the other hand, it's like, who cares? And people augment themselves in all kinds of ways. And, you know, women often wear makeup and stuff. And I'm putting keratin fibers into my head of hair called topic to make it look more full. By the way, you can eat someone else's topic and it's not cannabis. Okay, good to know, because it's keratin fibers.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll let my buddy know.

[Luke Burbank]

So they start a gofundme for Mickey Rourke because he's $60,000 in arrears that also I thought, well, maybe lay off with the DoorDash. If we're 60,000 behind on the rent, let's go ahead and go to Vons to get our own food.

[Andrew Walsh]

Although, Mickey, it must be hard to go to Vons if you're Mickey Rourke.

[Luke Burbank]

I'll tell you, without the hairpiece, nobody's recognizing this guy. Ain't nobody recognizing this guy, including me. I was like, who is this? Who is this wizened, bald, very kind of frail looking individual? And they're like, mickey Rourke steps out amidst back rent issues. So they raised like $100,000 on this GoFundMe. And like the next day, Mickey Rourke is on TV going, I did not set up the gofundme. I did not ask for this. I am not accepting the money. He was incensed that they had set up the gofundme for him, and he turned the money down and has since been evicted from the house.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, geez. This is. But it's. This is really bumming me out.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you rarely see somebody turn down like $100,000. Like that?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I play something for you here, please? It's 30 seconds long.

[Luke Burbank]

This better be one of the sex scenes from nine and a half Minutes.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is. You can leave your hat on.

[Unknown Speaker]

What? Your new vibe is a double edged sword. Much like the kind Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, everybody born before Jesus is in hell. They went straight.

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm going to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely and build you up from scratch. Just like Nicky Voracity did to me sexually. Did you see last night's ratings? The only show I've ever been on that got a 102 is when Mickey Rourke threw me out of the field during the Super Bowl.

[Luke Burbank]

Simple trip to ikea.

[Unknown Speaker]

No, Liz, don't test it. Especially this early in our relationship. It's like when Mickey Rourke tested his catapult on me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow, I was almost listening.

[Unknown Speaker]

Where are you going? You never take my advice, Ms. Barone.

Oh,

nice try, Hazel. But you made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran. You didn't kill me when you had the chance.

[Luke Burbank]

We need to talk about what you did.

[Unknown Speaker]

Well, you know what they say, boys. If you can't stand the heat, get off a Mickey Rourke sex grill.

[Andrew Walsh]

J Mo, These are for Mickey Rourke.

[Unknown Speaker]

No, Tracy, put them down. I just found out that I won

[Luke Burbank]

this Women in Entertainment award.

[Unknown Speaker]

First you get married, now you're winning an award. These are my things. Next you'll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I'll stop it there.

[Luke Burbank]

No, please.

[Andrew Walsh]

If there's more, there's about, I don't know, maybe 10 or 20 seconds more.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's go. Let's just keep going here. Oh, no, I messed up where we are in this. Here we go. Here we go.

[Luke Burbank]

Catapulting and catamaraning with Mickey Rourke.

[Unknown Speaker]

Tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign. Liz, have you seen Jack today? No, he just came into my dressing room and started crying. He's in a really bad place. Like when Mickey Rourke. Okay, I can't do this anymore. I've never met Mickey Rourke.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I kind of liked it before.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's so great.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. God, I love that so much.

[Luke Burbank]

I was going to say, clearly one or more of the 30 rock writers are our age and we're like. And just grew up vaguely knowing that Mickey Rourke was in movies where he has. And also in real life is like having sex Capades, right? Wouldn't you say that that would be If I was like, what. What do you think of when you. Well, certainly having listened to that. But I mean, just generally, as a kid from the 80s, if somebody said Mickey Rourke, you'd be like, isn't that a guy who, like, is. Has sex in movies or sexy, but

[Andrew Walsh]

in like, kind of a. Kind of a greasy, scary way?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. But anyway, he turned down the money, which I was. Which I was surprised to see because that is just not.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, are you. Other than surprise, what are your feelings about that? Cause I'm sorting mine out still.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's sadness because I feel like when I see. Not that someone's socioeconomic status is the defining characteristic of anyone's life, nor should it be. And I'm not. I don't want to sort of like, you know, economically. Not economically, but financially shame him. But it's like, it makes me wish that he would have been a little smarter with his money when he was making. And I say this as a person who has not been smart with whatever amount of money.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, honestly, you haven't been smart with our money. With your money. No. I'm just joking. As we head.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of which, tbtleth on 17, jump

[Andrew Walsh]

in for joy Leap Day William edition is coming up. I would like to say that I think you really put your finger on it, because that's what I was thinking too. It's not that. That being poor or even just not being well off should make anybody sad.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the fact that we know that, I mean, this man was a Hollywood it boy. I mean, for a long, long time. He had more money at one point in his life than we will ever see combined, you know, and so therefore, you know, inherent in this story is a story of loss and bad decisions.

[Luke Burbank]

I wish that everyone who was either a pro athlete or a Hollywood star or a television star would have just used their first, you know, 10 paychecks to just buy real estate in Los Angeles, and then you'd just be set up. Anything other than that, you know, be it cars, I don't know, drugs, vacations is just like such a waste. And when you had all that money and you could have locked it down and then just been kind of set and you didn't. Yeah. That's much more sad than somebody who's just always been kind of economically maybe on the margins or maybe also didn't prioritize money. I know a couple of folks. I know a married couple who are both attorneys, and they're just. They just do a lot of pro bono Work and they just like, work on causes and things and people that they find important, like, socially, and they're just. They just don't care about money and they just. They drive old cars and they, you know, have a very small carbon footprint. And I actually really admire that. You know, I mean, I think that's a cool way to be. So the idea is that, like, it's not that not having money is something that we should feel pity about. It's that Mickey Rourke could have been in with better decision making. He wouldn't have been $60,000 in arrears on a rental that you and I, Andrew, would not even want to rent in, you know, somewhere in la.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I can't understand how you ra. It was definitely all rental. I feel like.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, because like, TMZ or somebody interviewed the landlord because Mickey Rourke said something like, oh, no, this is. Or his handlers or something said, no, no, this is like just a. This is just a misunderstanding. And the landlord was interviewed by TMZ was like, it's not a misunderstanding. He hasn't paid rent in like two years.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, he's misunderstood how to pay his rent. To me, the man who owns the

[Luke Burbank]

tmz, speaking of tmz, they are. They are doing God's work out there in D.C. as, as. As we were sort of hoping, you know, they opened up TMZ DC a while ago and people were talking about how, like sometimes the TMZ reporters, I mean, obviously, like, there's a lot of that TMZ stuff that's kind of a bit trashy and a bit de rigueur, but, like, it's funny to turn them loose on like, D.C. press culture because there still is some kind of decorum. And I think, you know, the. Certainly the politicians taking themselves very seriously and then the reporters kind of taking themselves seriously because they cover the important people. And then you just throw. You throw a guy in whose job previously was standing outside of LAX trying to yell for, you know, RuPaul to stop for a picture. You know, like, these are hard bitten, streetwise agitators, the TMZ crew, who are

[Andrew Walsh]

now like throwing queries at Pete Hegseth. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

And breaking news on the reflecting pool. I think they were at the tip of the spear on that. And then we're like, you know, just like. I think TMZ was like, literally one of the first outlets to be like, hey, this pool is really messed up right now.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was scrolling through. I found my. I don't know if you ever do this. I found Myself with a new follower on Blue Sky. And whenever I see a notification, new follower, I click on it because I'm always curious, who is this person? Is it even a real person? I think more and more they're like kind of bots. But I saw this when he seemed to be a real person. And so I was scrolling through his timeline, and he hadn't posted all that much. And so you didn't have to do it. Dig very far. To get back to a couple of weeks ago when the reflecting pool news was all over the place, inescapable. And there was a video of. It was like when they finally just shut the whole thing down. And again, I'm assuming this is real. They shut the whole thing down. They put some gates around it and some fencing around it and some guards. And there was an automated voice, I mean, you've probably heard this, that basically said, please, no, no loitering here. Please move on to your destination or whatever. And to have that automated voice as if it's a Paul Verhoeven movie at something that is literally called the Reflecting Pool is reflecting is no longer parody. It is beyond parody. That's why, as I say this. Can I be right about that? Can I get fooled by the Internet?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, definitely. The fence is a real thing. One of those, you know, temporary. Oh, you know, one other thing on that. Did you hear that the Parks Department had to go on the record accusing, saying that there was, in fact, someone had used a box cutter to cut the liner?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know this?

[Andrew Walsh]

No. This is news to me.

[Luke Burbank]

It's. You want to talk about Verhoeven? It is. Okay, so first Trump says, you know, they're gonna put this literally. He said, like, I don't wanna give anyone any ideas. He goes, but this thing is so. This liner is so amazing that they're putting on. And I don't wanna give anyone. Anyone ideas, but you couldn't cut it with a knife if you wanted to. So he says that. Then, of course, there's the whole algae bloom.

[Unknown Speaker]

The.

[Luke Burbank]

They dump a bunch of hydrogen peroxide into the reflecting pool to try to kill the algae, which. Hydrogen peroxide is for home ear piercing, guys. It's not for.

[Andrew Walsh]

And hair dye, right?

[Luke Burbank]

It's for dyeing your hair. It's for lightening your hair. And home ear piercing. It is not for trying to get rid of an algae bloom in the reflecting pool. But then because of that and other things, obviously, the liner started coming up in pieces. And then Trump started saying, well, no, it's Been it was cut by vandals. He just started telling the media that. And he said. And then he kept changing the length of the cut. He said that there was a 250 foot slice in the liner, which he had said could not be cut with a knife. But now he said vandals had cut. Then he started saying it was a 350 foot, which is, I think like

[Andrew Walsh]

you're like changing your blade in the middle.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like, oh, 100% like I think, is it 350ft? That's a football field, right? Probably because a yard is 3ft, it's 100 yards. So his contention was that somebody snuck into the reflecting pool with a box cutter, got down on their hands and knees or whatever, maybe they brought scuba gear, I don't know. And cut a football field length slice in the middle of it. Which side note, was not even where it was coming up, you know what I mean? It was coming up on the corners because that's how stuff works. You have this thing that was not properly adhered to and probably wasn't designed to be doing this. And so the corners are coming up and flopping or whatever. So he's saying, well, someone got in there with a box cutter and cut it. And the reporters are going, including tmz. I'm not kidding. We're going, what's the evidence of that? And he goes, I don't know. Ask the park Service, they'll tell you. So TMZ goes, they find where the particular park service office is that's in charge of the reflecting pool. And it's like in Virginia somewhere. And this guy, this kid just goes in to try to find out what is the evidence of the vandalism of the pool, of cutting the pool. And nobody there can answer him. They give him the email address of the press person and they're like, they give him a post it note with the email address of the press person and they're like, email this person to ask them about the cutting of the pool liner. So he never gets a satisfactory answer. But more and more people are asking. And then like two days later, the National Park Service or whoever's technically in charge of this issues a statement that says the. The pool liner was cut with a knife. They have yet to provide any that I've seen visual evidence of this. They haven't explained, they have not expanded. It is very clear that the Dear Leader pressured them to put out a statement that said that it had been cut. I think that actually, I do think that they said Something about, like, somebody along the side where there was some glue, someone had done something. I mean, it was so obviously a thing that they had to say because Donald Trump had said that there was vandalism and it was cut. And so at some point, they had to support that. They had to support his statements. And I don't know why that of all the things that are going on in our world, just broke my heart.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because it's the Parks Department, right? Because you just think of them as being like, well, they were absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

But they were already. And I don't blame the good people that work for the Parks Department or the National Parks or whatever, but, like, clearly whoever runs it at this point is a complete, you know, apparatchik, and whoever is handling their Twitter account is similarly an apparatchik. Because they were the ones that were like, the reflecting pool looks amazing. Like, that. All of their social media posts were, like, straight out of North Korea. Even when it was algae bloom, they were taking pictures of it from these angles that you couldn't see the algae bloom and stuff. And that was their official, like, Twitter feed, which also kind of broke my heart.

[Andrew Walsh]

What is apparat Chick?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I think of it as being a sort of Soviet, like, a person installed in, like, the sort of Soviet bureaucracy to do the work of the party.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, that. Yeah, that I can. But I don't use our listeners. And I'm sorry, I'm blanking on her name, but do we have a listener who compiles all of the interesting words that we use during a year of TBTL and then sends us.

[Luke Burbank]

I've read some of those.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Yeah. And so maybe that hopefully that'll make the list.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm kind of happy with it. I kind of got pretty close there. Apparatchik, an official bureaucrat or loyal subordinate within a political party.

[Andrew Walsh]

Fantastic. Let's see how the show's over. Let's see how close I was on this. Although I'm sure the audio will be terrible. Loitering is not permitted in this area.

[Luke Burbank]

Please proceed to a designated location.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you for your cooperation.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God. That is so messed up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, to hear. It's clearer here, huh? Now we're just seeing the guards walking around, so I don't know if you'll hear the announcement again, but you could hear that robot voice kind of. Or the speaker voice in the background.

[Luke Burbank]

The place, the reflecting pool, the place where Martin Luther King Jr. Gave the I have a Dream speech.

[Andrew Walsh]

And again, is. This is the. Is what's happening on the campus? On the mall. The most important thing that is happening in the world right now. No, I saw. What is the organization that tracks all of the kind of abductions of Ice ICE out. I believe I was looking at the maps, like, it looks like, you know, they're not making the headlines like they were because they're not marching into town as kind of. Obviously, ICE isn't. And then. And, you know, creating the same headlines that we saw in Minnesota. But, like, you know, ice abductions are up here in Seattle, which isn't surprising me with the World cup and everything going on. So, I mean, there are terrible, terrible

[Luke Burbank]

things happening south of me in Woodland, Washington. There was like some, you know, there was a crash, like a car crash, because some ICE apparatchik was chasing someone and you crashed into their car. You know, it's still happening. You're right. It's not the headline, but it is still happening.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, anyway, I just mean, like, the horror. I understand that. Of all the horrific things that are going on. It's not just the obvious stuff. By the way, we're talking about showers. Before you were describing your shower, I was going to tell you exactly how I showered today. Don't worry, it involves less hope.

[Luke Burbank]

Play in the jort. There are dozens of us. Dozens.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a true story, and this is highly irresponsible because as you said, I like to luxuriate in my showers. Here's what I do. I turn on the shower. While I'm waiting for the shower to get up to the right temperature, I take a quick look at blue sky. I scroll. I land on a David J. Roth article about the Great American State Fair or whatever it's going on and what it symbolizes and everything. I start reading that while the water warms up. Water is warm. I just take my phone into the shower with me and stand under the water for a while as I finish reading it.

[Luke Burbank]

Reading your Reader's Digestion.

[Andrew Walsh]

True story. I have a strong. I have a strong tradition of.

[Luke Burbank]

Basically, the technology finally caught up with you.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Weirdly, my electronic phone is more water resistant than the 1978 copy of Reader's Digest that I was reading Humor in Uniform out of.

[Luke Burbank]

But David Roth, what Saying, oh, just, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know how he's always just. I mean, I'm not gonna. I don't. I can't synthesize it here. He's just an amazing writer and just talking about, you know, what it represents and just like, you know, how it's an extension of the Trump presidenc.

[Luke Burbank]

What I saw that absolutely broke my heart yesterday was archival footage of the. And I know we've got to get to the Blurs days because.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, the blurs days. I'd forgotten about the blurs.

[Luke Burbank]

And we've got TBTB business today. We've got all kinds of stuff going on. But I saw archival footage of the bicentennial. So. 76.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. When we were born.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're 76, too?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm 76. And it was just so wholesome because it was not politicized. It was about. And I mean, who would have been president in 76? Was that Ford, maybe, or something? Or.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought it was Carter, but maybe

[Luke Burbank]

year one Carter or something. Probably Carter. It was just like. It was just kids eating freaking watermelon and corn on the cob and, like, people celebrating this country. And again, the. The ideals of this country, which we never live up to, but which are something that I think are laudable and. And just like to see how much better this was 50 years ago. It just broke my heart, you know, compared to. To what. What this guy created for the, you know, 250th, like, he just. He like everything. He just ruined it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Would it lift you up a little bit to hear that you were correct when you said Ford? Because at this point, I think. Well, it depends on when it was happening. But Carter would take office in 77. He won the election of 76. So Ford would have been overseas.

[Luke Burbank]

I see. So. So, yeah, gotcha. So, yes. And now the show is officially over. I got apparatchik. Right. And Gerald Ford's presidency. There's a right way to rock and

[Andrew Walsh]

a wrong way to roll. You can't just look, listen to your song. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing. Number one. Birthdays. You got them? We celebrate. Let's hear.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, people say that every time I play that goat sound, it makes their goats go crazy.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know. This is the segment where we wish people a happy blurs day. If you'd like to wish somebody, including yourself, a happy blurs day, email me andrewbtl.net put Blurs Day in the subject line. The first message today goes to Vernon in Tuilla, Utah.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, I looked nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

I looked it up. I mean, I. Listen, maybe you give me credit for doing my prep, though, you know, because I will say that I was looking at this, and I was like, oh, I think I know how to pronounce it then I double checked myself before the show and I was pronouncing it wrong in my head, so I'm glad I did it.

[Luke Burbank]

Luck is the intersection of preparation and perspiration. Okay?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what everybody says. They also say the separation is in the preparation, Luke. And that's how I separate myself out from all the other Blurs dates. All the other Blurs day readers out there. So to VERNON, Happy late 60th Blurs Day. Papaya. And by the way, Luke, here's where I will insert a. And you don't believe in a. God says, although your dreams of a national park's golden ticket may have been crushed, we hope that this year is filled with fun travel and events that you'll sigh about, but have a good time doing anyway. We love you so much. Love, Allie, Cassie and Maddie.

[Luke Burbank]

The Palmers.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right, our Tuilla Tens.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mike says, writing to wish Puddle a happy ninth blursday. It's been a big few months, as I know. Nine years. Nine years. It's been a big few months as we moved from West Lynn back to Redmond. And it's been great starting new traditions like riding our bikes every Saturday to the coffee shop and keeping old traditions like sleeping in a tent in our backyard on your birthday eve every year. Oh, that's awesome. Your mom, Langley Winston the dog, and I love you very, very much.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm wondering if something's going on with Mike.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Is he on the run?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because that family is, you know, they're mobile. They moved down here. I ran into them eating a burrito once in Portland randomly, and now they're back in the Northwest. Isn't Mike also the boss of somebody that we know or who's a listener? We were talking or we were getting a message from somebody who was an accountant.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's Mike the accountant. I have him saved in my phone as Mike the accountant. And it always sounds like an.

[Luke Burbank]

It sounds like someone that's gonna do some kind of crime for you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Is there a movie called the Accountant that is like an action movie?

[Luke Burbank]

Cause I was gonna say it's Ben Affleck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Yeah. Cause when I see Mike the accountant, I'm always like, oh, yeah, he'll come

[Luke Burbank]

take care of whatever you taken care of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, happy blursday to Puddle. Thanks for all the jokes over the years. Keep them coming.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, keep them coming.

[Andrew Walsh]

By the way, here's a note here. Happy actual blursday to our new 5 Declan. Is that how you'd say that? D, E, C, L, A n Declan, this week has not been the easiest, but we are happy to finally be home. You are the sweetest baby and your mom and I love you more than you'll ever know. Welcome to the world, Declan.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, when they said okay, I guess they said newest five. So of course that would be newest baby. I was hearing it as newest 10. So maybe Declan was like 45 and

[Andrew Walsh]

just got turned on the show.

[Luke Burbank]

But no, we're talking about a baby.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. Baby, baby, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm taking the notion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Congratulations, gang. Joe. And Polsbo says I'm wishing a happy gold golden blurs Dave to my newest favorite, Tacomi. Katie C. I'm so glad we met and that we get to hang out semi frequently. I think that combined we have probably listened to 35 plus years of TBTL.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my goodness.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have a great birthday and see you soon.

[Luke Burbank]

You know who I think I mean, we may have a few Joes out there on the Olympic peninsula, but if I'm thinking of the same Joe, I think this is our friend Joe who was on Jeopardy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Joe and Po.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe so. And when I lived in Bellingham, I remember picking up Thai food from this. God, there was. There's nothing better than just having like a Thai place that you love that makes the stuff just like you like it. They had a place like that in. In Bellingham. We'd always go there and I was waiting to pick up an order and I look up on the TV and it's Jeopardy. And listener Joe is on television. And I'm trying to explain to everyone that that's my friend friend on Jeopardy. Although at that point, I don't know if we'd ever even met. Yeah, but you knew I was starstruck to see Joe on Jeopardy. While I was picking up Thai food.

[Andrew Walsh]

I love that too, because so many times we'll hear from listeners who say, oh, I refer to you guys as my friends when I'm talking to my other friends. And we go both ways. Just so y' all know, Happy Blurs Day. KDC Erica says, I would like to wish my 5 Matthew a very happy 9th birthday. He asked for a no Mountain 2 Tall shirt for his birthday and asked me to send you a picture of him wearing it. He is very proud of it. Mom loves you, kiddo.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was there an included photograph.

[Andrew Walsh]

There most certainly was. And rocking that shirt. Yes, I will forward it to you. I don't. I'm not reading these from my email program right now, so I'll have to do it after the show, but he's sporting it. It looks like he's at an ice rink, maybe the one here in Seattle. And you can see some. The rink is behind him and he's wearing it. It's like the. The kind of reddish color. It's really cool.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Looking good. Thanks for being our spokesmodel. Yeah. Happy Blurs day, Matthew. Oh boy. I've been kind of anxious about this one. Okay, I am pausing here, not because I'm anxious about it, but because I have a cough in my throat. Hold on one second.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, sure. Of course

[Andrew Walsh]

I couldn't mute my mic, but hopefully the music covered that up. Taylor says this blursday is golden. Luke's banker is Jewish. My Kristen Dior. Next year she'll be 44. Happy Golden 43rd Blursday, Kristen. I hope this one is the best yet and that the Royals don't do anything embarrassing. Love, Taylor. That might be kind of a tall order these days. By the way, those. Those royal. Boy, I know that we are a suffering fan base over here in Seattle, but man, those Royals are a suffering. They get. They had the worst loss statistically in their history last week.

[Luke Burbank]

Lost something like, whoa, that's an old franchise too.

[Andrew Walsh]

22 1. They lost. And I think to the Chicago White Sox. And as people were saying on the post game show, because yes, sometimes I listen to the post game show of Royals. I don't, by the way, Seattle needs a post game show with callers. Like, I miss that so much. I think that. I think that the Mariners, known as a very itchy organization, shut that down. Now, the post game show on the radio is just like all of their employees, all the kind of talking heads, all the broadcast booth people giving their spin on the game. There is no radio show where people can just open the phone lines and a host can be angry about the state of their team. Well, the Royals do have that. His name is the Verne. And I've been listening to it. And as he pointed out, they lost by three touchdowns in that single game. It was 22 to 1, by the way.

[Luke Burbank]

When you were reading that, the listener doing the kind of play on the Knicks, Nixon 4 or whatever, it reminded me that, you know, Mexico is. Is advancing through the World cup, which just makes me so freaking happy. Like when I need to recharge, I just watch videos of older Mexican guys and Mexican American guys crying about Mexico getting in. But this is my new favorite thing. My beer Corona, my steak asada Mexico. One, two, Donata.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's great, right? Love that. So Are you? I really have no idea, like, who's in, who's out. I know that there's a big Croatian game today because our Croatian friend is, like, on pins and needles. She was even saying, like, she doesn't want to. She was going to go watch it with some friends, I think, but she's like, I might just have to be home for this one. Which is a very Luke and Andrew kind of emotion towards a game. But, like, is the field narrowing and is. Is your rooting interest still the United States? Are you rooting more for Mexico or what? I'm not. Like, you always think I'm judging. I'm not judging.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm laughing because I bet on Bosnia to beat the US Yesterday.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

Only because I was getting, like, crazy odds because Everybody thought the U.S. was going to win.

[Andrew Walsh]

And who was?

[Luke Burbank]

They did two. Nothing. I. My thought was, if Bosnia wins, I'll make some money on this bet, and if the US Wins, I'll feel happy because it means that the US Is advancing to the round of. I think it's the round of 16. Is the. Is. We're in the round of 32. But the teams that advance. So Croatia is playing Portugal today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. And that's gonna. It must be a tough matchup, because everybody in the.

[Luke Burbank]

I think Portugal is really good. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't like these US Uniforms. And it's not about the fact that it's representing the flag. They just look. When you see a bunch of fans wearing these, it looks like a weird reverse Where's Waldo?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm with you. Yeah. I don't. I'm not. I'm not super into that look either. But I am happy that the. That the US got, you know, got into the first time since 2002 that they've made it this far in the World Cup. But anyway, Go Croatia. Yeah, I'll be rooting for Croatia.

[Andrew Walsh]

So you're rooting for, generally speaking, kind of Croatia, the U.S. mexico. That's how things are shaking out for you, or is it. Whatever, Kelsey. I'm sorry, what is. What is the. Your investment app that you use, Kelsey? Kelshi. Whatever Kelshi points you towards.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I. Actually, here's my. Here's how it works for me. I'm always going to be rooting for the country that is more brown, if that makes any sense. So unless it's the US if it's like France against Ghana, I'm rooting for Ghana. If it's like, if it's the Netherlands against Colombia, I'm rooting for Colombia.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm rooting for the country that has a population that I feel more a. Sort of like I want to see good things happen too. And I'm not trying to conflate, you know, the idea that you have a country that is more brown and that, you know, everyone there would be living in poverty. That's of course not the case. But it's like I just don't, I don't care very much of Switzerland wins. Like Switzerland is playing Algeria today and who do you think I'm rooting for? Algeria. Like, I just, I want to see teams from countries that have maybe not had everything always go their way win. That's my default setting. If I, if it's not the US If I don't have a routing and that's basically the only routing interest I have, I'm at that point then just going for the country that I think could use it the most.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. But overall though, you're still. You would like to see us carry the trophy, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a trophy?

[Unknown Speaker]

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm all you.

[Luke Burbank]

You put your poison inside me. It's like I do kind of want the US to win, but I don't know, like. Like for instance, Cape Verde, or as we now apparently call them, Cabo Verde, they're playing Argentina. I don't think they're going to get past Argentina, but if they did, if it was like Cape Verde versus this US somehow I think I'd probably kind of be low key rooting for Cape Ferry.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just underdog. I mean, that's me. And again, I'm just not following this at all. So I don't. There's no poison for me to put in. I, I do tend to root.

[Luke Burbank]

I just. From the World Baseball Classic.

[Andrew Walsh]

The World Baseball Classic, but that was just a different thing. Like I knew the teams and the personality of the teams in the US was pretty onerous, so. Or odious, I should say. So anyway. That's. That's interesting. Well, yeah, I've really, like, honestly, like you mentioned that the US Played yesterday. I might. Was I the only American who didn't even know that? How that game turned out? I believe so turned out possibly. But yeah, I'm not trying to be obstinate about it. It's just, I just, I don't know, I'm just not taking the. I don't know how I miss. Now that you mentioned that. I'm like, oh yeah, I heard them do like a sports update earlier in the day saying that that game was coming up, but I just haven't been paying close attention or any.

[Luke Burbank]

There is a sort of a political valence, too, to the World cup and we really, really do have to go. So I'm sorry, I'm belaboring this, which. Which actually would make it seem possible that you would kind of get into it, because I do think it's sort of slightly more like liberal coded. Caring about soccer and caring about, you know, follow. Knowing that we're supposed to call it Cabo Verde instead of Cape Verde. You know what I mean? It's sort of. It's got a certain.

[Andrew Walsh]

And what is Turk? The. You would.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Turkey.

[Andrew Walsh]

A turkey. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Is what we're saying now and stuff. So I could kind of see, like, if there was a, you know, a semiannual, a big sport thing to get into, I could kind of see you getting into the World cup just because it's generally appreciated by people like us. Plus, as we used to say, did

[Andrew Walsh]

you see that Trump and Vance have decided not to visit Seattle for the next U.S. tournament?

[Luke Burbank]

I did not see that. That was the decision. I was seeing the speculation as to if they were going to go. And like. Pardon me. Well, first of all, I'm just happy that his stink isn't going to be in Seattle. But also it would be kind of fun to see them just like, just to see that feel just that that crowd just light him up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

There ain't a national anthem loud enough to drown out the. The booze at Lumen Field like they tried to do at the Madison Square Garden. So does that music mean we're done with the show?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so.

[Luke Burbank]

Excellent. Thanks for listening, everybody. We are going to be back here tomorrow with a special. We're calling it a holiday edition because it's July 3rd, but it is a federal holiday, so we may bring you a slightly abbreviated show tomorrow, but we will be here. We'll be doing new. We hope you can join us for that. So have a great rest of your Thursday. Go Croatia. And please remember, no Mountain Too Tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.