
This episode was missing from the TBTL archive, so the original title and description are missing. It was uploaded on April 30, 2025.
Loading summary
Luke Burbank
What don't you understand? It's crystal clear. Ron Donald do's. Okay, the four P's and one B. Politeness, professionalism, perfectionism, Proactive. Be on time.
Jen Flash Andrews
I have a proactive suggestion. No, you know what? I think we get the system.
Luke Burbank
Okay, then what don't you understand? Kyle, what are you doing? Don't do that.
Jen Flash Andrews
Punctuality.
Eliza
What?
Luke Burbank
No, don't do that. Now it's five P's. No, I already have four P's. That's an rdd. That's a Ron Donald do. No Ron Donald don'ts. This is so confusing.
Jen Flash Andrews
Ron tbt. Wait till all of this starts up. A Wednesday afternoon production of the program we like to call tbtl. This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live. I'm afraid I just blew myself. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. This is episode 1002 in a collector series. I'm weighing in at 194 pounds. Oh, yeah. Which is not great, but. But I'm working on it. Do you not see me rocking this chiseled slab of hard man body? Um, I'll. You know what I'm gonna do for once in my life, I'm wait to see how this, my latest scheme works out before I. I don't want to give this person any. And this is gonna make you angry, Jen. I don't want to give this person any extra attention, but the photo that was sent to me juxtaposing my picture with Chaz Bono's really caused me to have a Saul on the road to Damascus. Damascus moment. Anyway, I'm feeling it. What I like about this particular new project I'm embarking on is you are allowed to have some of the sweet berry wine whilst doing it. Here's what we have coming up for you on this 1000 second episode. Hi, this is Luke's mom, Susie, coming tonight on TBTL. Speaking of our DDs, we've got a new segment. It's called that is a Ron Donald Don't. I mean, seriously, to this person and their family who are considering doing something, we're giving them a giant rdd. Also, you know kids and how they have dreams and stuff.
Dave Ross
Have you ever had a dream that. That you. You had. You. You. You could. You do. You would. You want. You. You could do so. You. You do. You could. You. You want. You want him to do you so much you could do anything.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, one of our listeners had a dream just like that and it ended in a. Well, in a similar fashion, that little clip, we'll call up listener Eliza and ask about her time as a person attempting to be a child star. And also, Jen has a question today. She wants to know, can we do a granny time? Even though it's a couple of days after the normal day for this kind of show, it's granny time. And weirdly, the answer is no. So it's gonna be a short. Of course the answer is yes. And speaking of our resident granny, I love Jesus, but I drink a little. She's right over there. Jenn Flash Andrews. Hi, Jennifer.
Eliza
Hi, how are ya? I'm doing great.
Jen Flash Andrews
Long time no debajo for you.
Eliza
I know. I was actually, I was so happy when I was climbing the stairs because I thought, now I'm getting my health back on.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, it wasn't that you were happy to be here or see me or happy to see that I've rebuilt the pieces of my broken life. No, it's that you thought it was.
Eliza
The approximation of a StairMaster.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, you were blasting your quads. So that made you happy. I swear to God. I know this is, you know, we've, we've established weather is the most boring topic, right? One of the most boring. What's the other? Where's traffic rank on the most boring things to talk about list?
Eliza
Well, yeah, traffic's up there. And then, and then our technical problems is usually up there in the top five.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, let's just, let's let's visit the topic of traffic. Traffic has been insane in this town the last couple days. I don't know what's going on. You, you got caught in some kind of Aurora 99 mess coming over here today. Yesterday, last night, me and Dave Ross from the radio show, we were supposed to be on local television talking about the State of the Union address. And everyone was late, including the producer, the anchor. Everybody was supposed to be there at like 5:15, 5:30. Everybody got there at 5:58. Dave got there at like 6:02.
Eliza
Whoa.
Jen Flash Andrews
I'm like sitting there at the little desk with the lady. I have no makeup on. And Dave is just like standing off to the side, like out of breath. He ran in there and I was like, why don't you come on TV with me? So we, like, came on during the broadcast. I, then I, I, the gal who was the host was incredibly nice, really fun to hang out with. But I think I, I know I deeply offended her one time and I think I deeply embarrassed her another time. First she said, I made this decision when I went in. I was like, look, this is local news television. People don't say enough weird stuff on here. It's usually very by the numbers. So if anything comes into my head, I'm just gonna say it. And if they don't like it, then they just won't have me on local television anymore, which I felt like, okay, I can live in that world. So the first thing she says to me in this really nice, kind of fun way is because she listens to. I think she listens to TBTL actually, too, but she listens to the radio show a little bit. She goes, look at you. You dressed up. And I said, yes, but I'm not wearing pants. And I'm sitting. I'm sitting next to this, like, very attractive, very kind of respectable African American gal in her probably late 30s. And I just don't think you say, I'm not wearing pants to that kind of person on news television.
Eliza
Probably not.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, then I followed that up with a real winner. When we were about to take. So they took the State of the Union, then they took the Republican response, and then they took the Tea Party response, which was given by this guy, Herm Cain. And I said to her, as we were about to toss to that piece of tape or whatever, I said, would we be taking this if. If it wasn't Black Walnut talking? And her eyes got.
Eliza
So she didn't know about the ice cream flavor?
Jen Flash Andrews
No.
Eliza
Oh, that sounds bad.
Jen Flash Andrews
Turns out a lot of people haven't heard of that ice cream flavor Flash. Because I feel like every time I call on Black Walnut, I have to explain to people that's not my racist nickname I made up. That's. He called himself Black Wall, like ten times. I know.
Eliza
Like, he. It was like he wanted. He was trying to make his own nickname, and he was desperately trying to get it to catch on. And you're the only one who grabbed it and ran with it.
Jen Flash Andrews
Boy, I really ran with it. But the. The. The look on the face of this. Of this nice young woman was just like. It was shock, horror. She just. I remember I could just see in her eyes were thinking, really, it's going to get that. That racist during.
Eliza
To my face.
Jen Flash Andrews
I mean, just like, just sitting here. That's how this is. And then, like, I was explaining, Dave was. We were all like, furiously explaining, no, no, no, no, no, that's.
Eliza
He likes it.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, exactly. Oh, that makes it not weird. But anyway, so the tr. Back to traffic. It was insane trying to get there. I found myself. I turned into, like a cartoon of a person who's mad at traffic last night because it's, like, counting down to this thing starting. And I know I'm supposed to be sitting in this chair, whatever, talking on this TV camera.
Eliza
Were you thinking you might have to carry the whole thing? Anchor and then interview yourself?
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
Eliza
Do the commentary.
Jen Flash Andrews
Burbank on Burbank.
Eliza
Yeah.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think that's the. That's the local TV program that Seattle's been dying for. I wear, like. I wear, like, a turtleneck with patches on the arm, and I interview myself. But I, I. I was so angry in traffic that I was just, like, beeping at people. And I was doing that thing where I'm in the back of a line of 35 cars, just sitting at a. I was sitting, waiting to get on Dexter from whatever street it was. And I sat for 20 minutes and didn't move on a surface street. Just. And I was like, I may have to do one of those things they do in the movies where they just abandon their car and just start running. Because I was 100 yards from the TV station. I could see the TV station. It was just. Everything was completely. Is that the Mercer mess or is that. What Is that because of what they're doing over by Queen Anne?
Eliza
Yeah, that's the Mercer mess that you are in.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah. Because you. You've said that you just can't even get off of Queen Anne anymore. This is, by the way, hyper relevant to people in Atlanta, Chicago.
Eliza
I have a way to make it relevant because this is kind of the way that I'm now viewing it, which is that, you know, having just traveled the roads of this country for a year, plus, what I figured out is that there isn't traffic anywhere else hardly. And it's because there's no construction going on, because so many of these cities are bankrupt and there's not road work and there's not new projects going up. And so I'm trying to look at it as a positive that our city is actually financially vibrant and we are doing road repairs. I mean, we would go into these towns and there were those potholes that if you didn't avoid it, you would disappear forever to the land of the lost.
Jen Flash Andrews
You know, the land of the lost.
Eliza
So that's kind of the way that when I'm stuck, that I try to, like, do that is like, at least the city doing well. At least my neighbors have jobs. You know what I mean?
Jen Flash Andrews
I think it's a really positive way to look at it, actually, because otherwise.
Eliza
Like you said, you just go crazy. And that whole thing about getting out of your car and running. I'm. More and more. I'm realizing how many things are in our mind because they happen in the movies all the time, and they're actually not workable in real life. And yet somehow in our mind, we hold them as a. In reserve, as a. As a viable plan.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, if you are meeting Meg Ryan.
Eliza
What else can you do?
Jen Flash Andrews
At the top of the Empire State Building or some such, Then you've got no choice.
Eliza
I just. I. Yesterday, I was. I had a. My first meeting of tax season with the accountant, and so first of many. Well, you know, you. You take in all your stuff, and then they call you with questions and all that.
Jen Flash Andrews
Is it tax season yet? It's gen Tax starting.
Eliza
Yeah, I start early.
Jen Flash Andrews
That's actually not a bad idea, because I always get the shoddy tax work because I'm the guy who, like, you know, April 13, I call my lady, can you squeeze me in? And what she's really thinking is, well, you know, after I've already taken three sleeping pills and had two glasses of wine and finished all the real work. Yeah, I'll squeeze you in, like, while I'm in bed, I'll get on my lap. You know, I mean, I'm getting, like, the. Cause I'm the last person to put in my request. You're getting. You're getting like.
Eliza
I got the good guy.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
Eliza
But I felt like it was a little bit. He was being kind of shady for a minute, because what happened is he was looking at my. At the income, and he said, what is this, $67? And I said, well, Jason was on a business trip in Indiana, and while he was there, he drove to Michigan to take our nephew to dinner, and he accidentally used his architect credit card, like, the company credit card for that dinner. And so I made him pay it back. So he had to write a $67 check out of his checking account, because that wasn't a business expense. It was a personal expense. It was taking his nephew to dinner. And so the accountant just looked at me, and he was like, that's crazy. And I said, listen, he's not being shady.
Jen Flash Andrews
You're being crazy when you do that.
Eliza
Well, I thought he was being shady. So then I said to him, all I care about is that I will not do well in jail. I do not want to go to jail, and it's all I care about. He said, you're not gonna go to jail. And I said, I don't care.
Jen Flash Andrews
Is it messed up that some part of me kind of wants you to go to jail over that. Like, just. You would be right. Right. Ultimately, it would support your point. But the idea of them taking you in cuffs, hey, what are you gonna say? You're like, talk. You're on the perp walk. Like, you're like, I did it, and I'm proud of it.
Eliza
You're being inappropriate.
Jen Flash Andrews
Misattributed that $67.
Eliza
So anyway, I said, you know, I just don't want to have that situation where I come in with my box of receipts and set it on the table. And he goes, oh, that doesn't happen. And I said, oh, it happens in the movies all the time. Like to the irs, when you bring it and you, like, dump it on the table. He goes, no, no, no, no, no. You never, ever bring them a box of receipts. They love it. They're more than happy to sit there and count up your receipts because that's where they're going to find all your errors. And I thought, well, there's another movie scene.
Jen Flash Andrews
This is a good guy. I'd like to. I like him. My lady's not your guy. Does sound kind of like a scammer. He's like, oh, no, no. Let me stop you right there. My lady's a little too above. Above board. We should trade.
Eliza
Yeah.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think you've got. I think you got my accountant, and I got yours.
Eliza
But he told me something amazing. He said, let me just tell you right now, like, there's way worse people that came in here today than you. And I said, like, what? And he said, well, the guy. I just started his taxes. He brought $90,000 in receipts from fast food. $90,000 in receipts. And he said, how in the world is this deductible? And he goes, well, that's how I ate. He goes, well, everyone has to eat. Eating isn't deductible. But doesn't that make you feel better?
Jen Flash Andrews
No, no, no, no, no.
Eliza
He spent $90,000.
Jen Flash Andrews
That's not. Let's just. Let's do the quick math on that. I've got a computer in front of me.
Eliza
You're gonna divide it by three. 65.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah. 90,000 divided by 365. Divide by three. That's $82 per meal at fast food. That's not.
Eliza
I don't think I believe him.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think that could be something very suspicious.
Eliza
Well, the accountant then said to us, it was great because he wasn't saying his name, so I guess it was okay for him to tell me all of this.
Jen Flash Andrews
But he said, we can assume it was Dave Ross, though.
Eliza
He said, I just asked him point blank, do you do drugs? And I said, what did he say? And he said, no, I don't. And I said, do you have a gambling problem? And he goes, well, I do gamble a little. And he said, do you gamble $90,000 worth? And he goes, I gamble a little bit. I don't do drugs. But I think he's doing something because there's no way.
Jen Flash Andrews
How do you even get $90,000 in fast food receipts? That's what I don't understand.
Eliza
I know we said a lot of it was written down on post. Its like Burger King, $43, like, stuff like that.
Jen Flash Andrews
That's just. That makes me feel a lot better about my whole.
Eliza
That's what I thought. Well, I'm not gonna go to jail. I'm not doing that kind of stuff.
Jen Flash Andrews
I mean, I feel bad because I don't. This is probably a great place to talk about this, but I don't maybe always have the receipts. It's like, fingers crossed they don't ask me to if I get audited. And they're like, bring in your box of receipts. I'm gonna bring in just bag after bag.
Eliza
Don't bring your box of receipts. That's the thing I learned.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, I take care of that by not having it in the first place. But I'm gonna bag of children's letters to Santa Claus. I don't know how that's relevant, but.
Eliza
How can they send you to jail when you have children's letters?
Jen Flash Andrews
That's what I'm thinking. That's another thing that in the movies usually works. You bring those in and then it's pretty much kind of a done deal. All right, we're gonna kick things off here by talking about a couple of scientific developments or at least studies that have gone on. So this is something we could really use on this show. Jen.
Eliza
I know. I'm super inspired about it.
Jen Flash Andrews
A new study shows how to separate your good ideas from your bad ideas. This is something that I'm sort of lacking in. So what's the deal? What's the trick?
Eliza
So the way that the media has kind of grabbed onto this story is the idea of George Lucas and Jar Jar Binks. So you take. And it happens all the time where somebody who has previously had lots of great ideas and then they put forth this idea that everyone in the world can see as bad, but they can't see it's bad.
Jen Flash Andrews
I would argue that that happens. In fact, the more talented I think Somebody is, I would argue, the more likely they are to do that. Like the Flaming Lips. I love that band. I think that they're super talented. But there's something about being crazy talented that you, in your own mind, do not do a good job of differentiating. Like, the certain albums they've put out, I think are unlistenable. And it's like, Wayne Coyne, man, you're so cool. How is it, of all people, that you. You. You wrote, you know, do you realize? And then you also wrote the album Embryonic. How did your brain that made you do the good thing not tell you that that was the bad thing?
Eliza
And that's the huge thing, because really creative people have equal amounts of output. It's about how able you are to see which ones are good ideas and which ones are bad. And so what they did is they took these really creative people and they said, we're going to assign you all the same task, which is to come up with solutions to a mundane thing in life. The problem is standing in line at the grocery store. What are ways that you can make that more interesting? But then what they did is they divided them into two groups, and the first group got sat down right that moment with pen and paper and said, come up with as many ideas as you can. The other group got sent into another room and told to play video games for 30 minutes. And then after 30 minutes, they came in and gave them all a piece of paper and a pen and said, now write down your ideas. Then they brought them all together and sat them down. The amount of output of ideas was identical between the two groups. But then they said, now cull it down and tell us your five best ideas out of all the ideas you came up with. And then they had an independent group of experts study their ideas. The people who had gone directly to work on it had a far less ability to figure out the good ideas. The people who let their subconscious work on it while they played video games for 30 minutes were like 10 times better at figuring out what were their better ideas.
Jen Flash Andrews
Although all of their ideas were to let Master Chief handle it because they were playing Halo. So, I mean, but that's just. They can adjust for that when they're looking back on the data.
Eliza
So what they figured out at the end of the study, which I think is actually helpful to all of us, is they said, first of all, that idea about sleep on it is totally true. If there's any way that you can go to sleep and let your subconscious work on it all night long. When you wake up in the morning, you'll have better ideas, they said. Secondly, if there's any way that once you come up with all your ideas, you can put it in a drawer and go do something else that engages your mind so that you're not still thinking about it, you're thinking actively about something totally different, like watching a movie or playing poker or playing a video game. Subconscious is working on it. And then you go back to your list, you'll be better able to call out the good ideas from the bad ideas.
Jen Flash Andrews
Wow, that makes so much sense based on my experience. And yet when the infrequent times when I get around to actually doing anything, like creative generating something, if I think I like it or if I think it's turning out okay, then I'm just like, full steam ahead. Like, I don't. It never occurs to me to just get it to a certain point, leave it, come back to it a week later and say, oh, how's that? You know what I mean? Like, I'll dash the email off right then.
Eliza
Well, a lot of times we simply don't have the time. The luxury of that. Like Zadie Smith, the novelist, she was saying that now that she is financially secure, she said she'll put the manuscript when she's done with it. She'll actually put it in a drawer for like six months and go on with her life and write other things and do other things, but, you know, your mind is still working on it, and then you go back to it and you can edit it so much better. She said she's found that time and time again. But most of us don't have that kind of luxury. But we do have, like, if only.
Jen Flash Andrews
My novel Gray Teeth would have taken off, I'd be able to have the same luxury. Yep.
Eliza
So there you go. I mean, I think that's super helpful.
Jen Flash Andrews
That is actually like, even to walk.
Eliza
Away from it for a couple hours. But don't walk away from it and just go on a walk, because your mind will still be actively working on it. You have to go do something else that occupies your mind.
Jen Flash Andrews
That is fascinating. Okay, I'm going to put that into. I'm going to put that into practice this week. Flash. Now, what is going on with. With Latin?
Eliza
Well, so botanists, first of all, this is the first thing I've learned is that in America alone, we discover like 200, on average, 200 new things in botany, new plants and stuff every year and worldwide, like 2,000 things. And they still think there's thousands and Thousands and thousands of plants and things that we haven't discovered yet. But you're required to. If you find something, if you discover a new plant or whatever, you're required to name it a Latin name. And not only that, when you submit it, you're required to describe it in Latin, to describe why it's new, its properties and all the things that make it. You have to prove that it's this new thing. It's not a fern. And so you have to write all that in Latin. And most people don't speak Latin really well. And so a lot of these places, like the Smithsonian, actually keeps on saying, staff a Latin scholar to help people write it all out in Latin. So anyway, they've just ruled that they no longer have to write it in Latin. They have to write it in English.
Jen Flash Andrews
That's. I have to say, I think that's a great idea.
Eliza
Well, there was a lot of reasons. They said it was. I feel bad for Latin.
Jen Flash Andrews
The language.
Eliza
The language.
Jen Flash Andrews
And also listener Heidi, who's our Latin correspondent at Proximum Non Wewium.
Eliza
I mean, one of the guys was saying that it is so hard to write it all out in Latin. He's like, I don't speak Latin, so I have to, like, get somebody who speaks Latin to help me and write it all. But then the other thing is that I found out that there's a lot of fraud in the world of orchids, because if you can, like, prove that you have a new orchid, this, like, new variation of orchids, you can charge way more money.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, yeah, the orchid thief. That's.
Eliza
So.
Jen Flash Andrews
That's a. Well, I don't think it's about that exact thing, but it's about the kind of, like, incredibly valuable world of orchids. I'm looking at the meaning of Latin plant names on a website somewhere, and it is. I mean, it's. It's ridiculous because what they've. They've provided a translation for everything, but it would be so much more intuitive to just use the English. Like, alpacola would be from the mountains. What do you think angustifolia would mean? Angustifolia with leaves. Ooh, narrow leaved. Not bad. How about arvenis? A, R, V, N, I, or, excuse me, A R, V, N, S I, S. Veined.
Eliza
A veined leaf.
Jen Flash Andrews
Nope. Of the field. You're getting colder. About argentea. A R, G, E, N, T, E, A.
Eliza
Of Argentine.
Jen Flash Andrews
I would have thought the same thing. No, that means silvery. About Aronaria. A, R, E N A R, I, A. You can see it with your eye from sandy places. And this is. I'm giving you like this. I mean, this is just a small. How about S A, X, A T, I, L, I, S? How would you say that? Saxatilis. Saxatilis. Red of rocks. So just imagine trying to describe some plant life, and you have to use all this craziness.
Eliza
Well, and what they were saying about the orchids is that you. If you're writing it all in Latin, it's easier to kind of be fraudulent, because who knows what all that stuff means. Or if you have to actually explain it in Kissimus. Yeah. If you have to actually explain in English, people will be like, no, that's the same orchid. We already have that one.
Jen Flash Andrews
Right. It creates this kind of this. This enough, you know, confusion around the topic that you might be able to sneak one past.
Eliza
Right.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, I am. I. I guess I join you in being sad for a language, but I.
Eliza
It also seems very odd that now everyone. Because, you know, Latin is a universal language, and now they all have to write it in English, which just seems a little.
Jen Flash Andrews
Right. Well, as English speakers, I think we should be pretty relieved. I'm personally happy that once again, English has. English has triumphed. Meaning we will not have to learn a different language. Right.
Eliza
And we'll understand botany a lot better. Yes, you and I will.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yes, you'll understand. Of the mountains. Silvery.
Eliza
Right. I know from a field I can get that.
Jen Flash Andrews
It's granny time. Now, Jen, you are upset over this decision that was made in Utah, where they basically, they were looking to name this new high school, or it was a high school that needed a mascot for some reason. Right.
Eliza
It's there. It's a school that got so big that they're breaking into two schools. So they were, like, setting up everything for the new school, and they let.
Jen Flash Andrews
The kids vote on the mascot. And there was a variety of names, all just like really typical high school mascot names. They picked the one Cougars. Now, this is in Utah, where BYU is the Cougars. And I would think, first of all, there'd be a certain just kind of leaning towards that. Just like if you started a school in Seattle and you gave the students a choice of four different mascots, and one of them was Huskies.
Eliza
Right.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think a lot of kids who grew up watching the Washington Huskies would go towards that anyway, so the school has said you cannot name. We can we. They're invaliding. It's not unlike what happened with the hairy balls.
Eliza
Yeah.
Jen Flash Andrews
Harry Ball's building.
Eliza
Yeah.
Jen Flash Andrews
In Fort Wayne. They basically went in and they they overrode the will of the students and said, you can't have cougars. Because why?
Eliza
Because it's offensive. Because it is an offensive term used for older women. I. I'm so annoyed. I mean, talk about letting people steal the language. Do not let. I mean, first of all, it's an animal.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
Eliza
It's an actual word for an animal.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
Eliza
It's not, you know, I mean, because I think of, like, cougar as. In terms of describing a woman as a cougar. I think it's the same kind of. First of all, it's supposedly supposed to be, like, for kind of a hot older lady. So it's not even that negative.
Jen Flash Andrews
Right.
Eliza
It's not like if you named them the Hillbillies, which a lot of people think is negative, or redneck, which a lot of people.
Jen Flash Andrews
I have to say, hillbillies would be a bitchin school mascot. Wouldn't you want to, like, wouldn't. Wouldn't you think? Oh, yeah, the hillbillies. The fighting Hillbillies. That sounds like a fun school. It sounds interesting.
Eliza
Yeah. And it sounds like it might be wild, too.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
Eliza
But I think. I think that, you know, rednecks and hillbillies are also groups of people who have kind of grabbed those terms and owned them. And, like, they sing songs about I'm a redneck woman, and they're kind of proud of it. And I think there are women who like the fact that people call them cougars or whatever. I don't. First of all, I'm not even sure that it's that negative.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
Eliza
Like, the idea that this is offensive to older women is ridiculous. But also, to say that you can't name your mascot after an actual animal is so stupid, it just defies logic to me.
Jen Flash Andrews
I'm with you. I mean, when I saw this story, I had the same thought, which was, cougars have been around. The animals have been around for thousands and thousands of years, and we've been calling them cougars for however long English has been around, I guess. Right. And it took, what, four episodes of the Real Housewives to suddenly ruin that word. Like, really? Let's take that back. Let's take back the night.
Eliza
Yes. And honestly, I don't know anybody who even uses that term anymore. Like, it was hot for six months and now it's, you know, Courtney Cox, Arquette, whatever, to the side. Nobody even uses that word. It's already kind of over and gone. And thank God I was so annoyed. So now the school's gonna be the Chargers because they want to stick with Alliteration. But. So the Canyon Chargers. But it just bugs me.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, I think.
Eliza
Can we not call. I mean, do we have to come up with a different word for the animal? Because that might be offensive to a 40 year old lady in a minivan with fake boobs and long nails?
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, that lady calling it that lady would never drive a minivan. But I'm following you.
Eliza
Okay.
Jen Flash Andrews
They're actually.
Eliza
My granny is worked up.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah. Oh, I see. I see. Yeah. They're gonna have to change. They're gonna. They're not gonna be able to call the animal Cougar anymore. They're gonna have to call them MILFs.
Eliza
Because that's not offensive at all.
Jen Flash Andrews
No, that's the new name for cougar. Cougars gone. That animal is now called a milk. And the Canyon Valley Cougars are the Canyon Valley Chargers. So it all works out. Yeah. I mean, in case you're scoring along at home, that's an easy little breakdown. Let's do this. Let's take a quick musical break. When we come back, we're gonna talk to listener Eliza who. We played something. Actually, we played it a few times on the show. It's the trailer for a kids cartoon movie from the 80s. And listener Eliza heard it and said, hey, I was in that and sent us her phone number. So we're gonna call her, find out what that experience was like, plus a bunch of other stuff. In the meantime, let's. Let's hear a song from the band Washed Out. This is Feel It All Around. Back with more TBTL in a moment. Jesus.
Eliza
J.
Jen Flash Andrews
Welcome back. Tbtl. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live. Hey, I want to mention that coming up in a little over a week, February 2nd, I am going to be back at the Neptune Theater because I just can't stay away. I'm going to be the emcee for the Sasquatch big announcement party. This Sasquatch music festival has become such a big deal that even the announcing of the bands is a big deal. And so I'm gonna be there. It's gonna be really fun. Also, Jose Gonzalez will be there playing music and there will be some other awesome bands. So if you are in the Seattle area and you're looking for something to do on the 2nd of February, maybe come on down to the Neptune and hear some awesome music announcements. I'll be honest with you. My job in that is to just try to duck and avoid the tomatoes that are flying at me while I'm on stage. Because I am the person that no One really wants to hear from. They just.
Eliza
You're not actually making the announcements. You're announcing the announcers.
Jen Flash Andrews
No, I mean, I'm announcer. The bands aren't all there, though. What happened last year when I did it was they played a video that just scrolled all the names because there's like a hundred names. So I'm there to just, like, kind of tap dance on stage and then say, like, there's gonna be a band. And the band plays, and people are pretty excited. Then I come back out, and they're like. The crowd is just like, give us the names. And I'm like, I will in a minute, but here's one more band. And I just keep doing that all night until finally, at the end of the night, they scroll the names, and everyone's like, get off the stage. So I'm looking forward to it. Yesterday, I really sold my Northwest cable news punditry, and tonight I really. Today I really sold my Sasquatch announcement party. Okay, we oftentimes when we're gone for kind of a long stretch of time, we will play this little sort of show open, which is from a movie called We're Back. It was a cartoon movie in the 80s about. Is it the 80s or in the 90s? Well, our guests will know. We'll get clarification. But here's what this sounds like. Sounds a lot. Greetings, friends. I'm Captain New Eyes. I'm trying to make a few wishes come true. I invented this. It's a wish radio.
Luke Burbank
I wish I had a friend.
Jen Flash Andrews
He sent them some help. They want to meet you. What do you say? From the prehistoric past. We're Back. A dinosaur story featuring the voices of.
Eliza
Make Me a Filet Malone.
Jen Flash Andrews
Or. And this is where it gets, like, specific to tbtl. But anyway, we play that. I don't think Sean was. Was Sean in the original production?
Eliza
I don't think so.
Jen Flash Andrews
Okay.
Eliza
It was in 1993.
Jen Flash Andrews
That was where the plot got weird when suddenly Sean was going, make mine a flame alone. Mignon. So we got a call from. Or an email, I should say, from listener Eliza, who, turns out was in that movie. And as she says in the email, it was, she thought, the beginning of stardom, as would I have thought at that age, getting to be in a movie. But turns out that was sort of the high point, the beginning, the middle, and the end of her acting career, at least as far as we understand it. Eliza's on the line now. Hi, Eliza.
E
Hi.
Jen Flash Andrews
Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Washington D.C. are you a famous actress?
E
Depends how you define famous. I do have my very own IMDb page. Yes.
Jen Flash Andrews
What's on your IMDb page?
E
Only we're back a dinosaur story. But I had some. Some pretty famous co stars in that, so I don't know, I think I did pretty well.
Eliza
I love your role. Additional voice.
E
Yep, I'm an additional voice.
Jen Flash Andrews
So wait, tell us the story of how you actually got your voice on this movie.
E
Yeah. So I grew up in England. I went to the American school in London. And I guess when. I know, right? I guess when people want voices that are American voices for movies, they came to our school and got little elementary age students to be the voices because the British kids couldn't do it. So they came to us and I guess I was like nine and they rounded up about 20 of us and they took us to Abbey Road Studios and they were all like, this is the room the Beatles recorded in. And we were of course not in awe because we were nine.
Eliza
Didn't know what that was.
E
Yeah, that was not impressive to us at the time. And yeah, that was what we did. We spent like an afternoon in there recording random little snippets.
Jen Flash Andrews
Do you remember? Do you remember? Did you have a big line?
E
I remember they did. I remember specifically they did the part where we set all of our wishes for the wish radio. So at one point in the movie, the wish radio is like saying all these kids wishes. And I guess it's like, I want to meet a dinosaur, I want to meet a tyrannosaurus. And I remember them making us do those. And also the same thing with like the fright radio. So we had to say our biggest fears and they would just like go down the line and have us each say what we wish for and what we were afraid of.
Eliza
Did you come up with your own fear or did they tell you a fear?
E
I was trying to remember that. I think. I think they had us do both because I imagine because when you actually listen to the movie, everyone wants to play with the dinosaurs. I can't imagine we all wished that when we were nine. I think my wish would have probably.
Jen Flash Andrews
Been to be on a podcast someday when you're an adult.
E
Yeah, exactly. That was exactly what I wished for. And thank God it's finally come true.
Eliza
Did you get paid?
E
Yeah, I got paid. I think it was probably like £50 or something for my afternoon. Maybe not even that.
Jen Flash Andrews
Were you? Okay, so now, now the story is starting to become a little more clear. They just came to your school basically and scooped Up a bunch of kids. Did you have aspirations and dreams to be involved in. In the pictures, in the movies at the time, or was. Were you just.
E
Oh, definitely. Yeah, I was. I was definitely. This was my, you know, this was gonna be my big break. I was the only 5th grade speaking role in our school play, so I already had a pretty big head going into this. And unfortunately, it didn't really take off from there.
Jen Flash Andrews
Did you. When you watched the film, were you able to identify your voice at any point in the movie?
E
No, not at all. I recognize where it's supposed to be, but I can't. I mean, I can't pick myself out.
Jen Flash Andrews
In a group of kids or. Because they took out.
E
Yeah. And the kids, I hear don't sound like me necessarily, so I'm not sure.
Eliza
Did you go to see it, like, opening night?
E
We. I definitely went to see it in the theater because I remember staying through to the end to, like, watch my name run on the credits and stuff.
Jen Flash Andrews
And was. And it was in the credit credits.
E
Yep, it's in the credits.
Jen Flash Andrews
You know what, Eliza, I'd like to take a moment to thank you for saying you went and saw it in a theater, because I've noticed people love to say, I saw that in theaters and I think multiple theaters. You just went to a lot because they'll say coming to theaters, but. But nobody sees anything in theaters. We see it in a one theater unless we did see it in multiple places. So anyway, that's a small little quibble that I have, but did you go.
Eliza
On any auditions after that? I mean, did you actually do anything to try to get your career off the ground?
E
I mean, I did again, like, they came to our school for a couple of things. I think I was in some, like, English language videos for Korean children. So I could be a really big star in Korea. I have no idea.
Eliza
You probably are.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think that's awesome. What do you do for your job now?
E
I'm a fundraiser.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah.
E
Not exactly the glamorous stardom I was aspiring to.
Eliza
When did you give up on when.
Jen Flash Andrews
Did your dreams die?
E
I think I was eighth grade. I played Huck Finn in our school play. And I think after that I was sort of like, I don't. I think that might be the high point.
Eliza
Was it an all girls school or did you beat out all the boys?
E
No, I beat out all the blues.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, it sounds like you really kind of quit while you were on top, though. Like, you're in. You. You were credited as being in an. In a movie. You were playing the lead role in Huck Finn and then you just said, you know, there are no more, no more worlds for me to conquer.
E
Yeah, pretty much. I had. I had reached my peak. Maybe I'll start chopping a headshot around now.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah. How old are you? If you don't mind me asking? How old are you?
E
29.
Jen Flash Andrews
Oh, it's. You got. You've got plenty of time.
Eliza
Absolutely. This dream could still come true.
Jen Flash Andrews
Edie Falco was waiting tables until she was like 40 something.
E
And then you can say you knew me when.
Eliza
I don't know if I'm. I don't know if I'm getting a real ambitious.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, I don't feel the fire.
E
I have to drive.
Jen Flash Andrews
I mean, did the dinosaurs just give up when they traveled through time and were in Trapped in Manhattan or something? Or did they find a way to. I don't really know the plot. If we're back.
Eliza
I assume it involves taking over Manhattan.
Jen Flash Andrews
Do they go back? Do they go back?
E
They're nice dinosaurs. They're the nice one, right?
Jen Flash Andrews
Do they go back to. Do they go back to dinosaur times?
E
Eventually, I think they say. I don't really, I don't think I've watched it all the way through since I was about 10. But I think they stay. Maybe they must go back. They can't let them stay in Manhattan. That doesn't make any sense.
Eliza
That wouldn't work.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, I mean, come on. Then the movie becomes ridiculous.
Eliza
You know, Eliza, I was calling this segment I was a so called child actress, but I'm not even sure you were a child actress actually. You were basically a kid at a school who could read a script, right? That's who you were.
E
Yeah, yeah. My big selling point was that I had an American accent.
Eliza
So you were an American in London. That's what you. In the right time.
Jen Flash Andrews
You weren't even an adult American. Like you were just someone who got brought to London by somebody else.
Eliza
But you do have an IMDb page and that is, I mean, I found that impressive. I don't have one of those.
E
Yep, yep.
Jen Flash Andrews
Do you ever.
E
I just like to Google myself sometimes.
Jen Flash Andrews
Do you ever trot that out, like if you're on a date or something.
E
And oh yeah, it's a good fun fact.
Jen Flash Andrews
Like you fire up the old smartphone and like put it on your IMDb page and then get up to go to the bathroom but leave it on the table so your date will see it and think, oh my God, have you ever. I would just say you should try that.
E
Definitely Will. That'll be my go to.
Jen Flash Andrews
Well, Eliza, I'm. We're sorry to hear that it didn't work out on the acting, but we're glad to hear you got into the lucrative and glamorous world of fundraising and that you. That you're a TBTL listener. We appreciate you letting us know about your experience with that. And next time we play that, we'll think of you.
E
Excellent.
Eliza
We always love to know when our listeners are fancy or famous or anything like that.
Jen Flash Andrews
Where do you live in dc?
E
I live in the U Street area.
Jen Flash Andrews
Ah. Uh huh.
E
Yes.
Jen Flash Andrews
Huh. I know it well. Do you ever actually eat at Ben's Chili bowl or is that just for only.
E
I've eaten there. I've eaten there once. Hey, did you ever think I was sort of drunk?
Jen Flash Andrews
Did you ever go to the playbill on 14th when it was still open? Yes, it was the best.
E
It closed recently. It was very sad.
Jen Flash Andrews
It was like the best. The best karaoke in all of D.C. yeah, I think.
E
I think it really. It hit its peak when you were here and then it just went downhill.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think that about a lot of times it was sad that Arby's on the way out to Baltimore. Also not the same. I've moved.
E
None of it's the same.
Eliza
It's exactly how the world of animation feels about Eliza.
Jen Flash Andrews
That's right.
Eliza
I know it's not been the same since you left.
Jen Flash Andrews
All right, Eliza, well, listen, thanks a lot for. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
E
Definitely. Thanks for giving me a call.
Jen Flash Andrews
All right, adios. That's listener Eliza. Yeah, she's very different, I think, Jen, than you and I in that, like, if I get any kind of positive feedback over something, I keep doing it until eventually the positive feedback wanes and then becomes kind of flat and then goes into negative feedback. And then if there's enough negative feedback, eventually I may stop. Sounds like she was doing really well with it and she decided to just give it all up at eighth grade.
Eliza
Right. I definitely didn't. I didn't catch the fire. You know when you imagine those people who, like, go off to Hollywood with, like, a bag in the back of their Yugo and they're gonna make it. I didn't sense that in Eliza.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, no, she's probably a much happier person for it too, by the way. The lack of complete desperation. All right, let's talk about a major Ron Donald. Don't. And this is the fact that Amanda Knox, you guys, everybody knows who she is, right?
Eliza
Yes.
Jen Flash Andrews
That was an international story.
Eliza
Yes.
Jen Flash Andrews
She hails from the Seattle area, but those of you around the rest of the country also, I'm sure know about her.
Eliza
She was convicted of murder, murdering her roommate in Italy, and it got overturned.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, yeah.
Eliza
And she came back to America, and.
Jen Flash Andrews
While she was there, you know, she did four years in jail there. And all indications are now that she didn't do it. I mean, there's no physical evidence. There's just. I feel pretty comfortable saying she was wrongly convicted of this based on everything that we've learned about it now. And in the midst of all this, she. A couple things happened. She pinned this other guy, who, turns out didn't do it either, which is one of the things that made them suspicious of her, and that was obviously not cool. But she says it was because she was being harassed by the police in Italy. And her parents said, our daughter's been harassed by the police. They've been really rough on her.
Eliza
And kind of by harassment, you mean like hours and hours and hours of interrogation with no bathroom breaks, no food, no water.
Jen Flash Andrews
And I think that they allege that they were physically violent with her, like, you know, pushing her around. And Amanda was abused physically and verbally. She told us she was hit in the back of the head by a police officer with an open hand at least twice, etc. Etc. Okay, so she's found not guilty. She comes home, she lives, you know, on my street. Wouldn't that be weird? Hey, Mandy, can we get an exclusive? Anyway, she lives back here in Seattle now, and her parents have been. They're in there. They're basically on trial in Italy for slander, for talking about the police abusing their daughter. And when the judge was going through all the charges, the judge threw out a whole bunch of different things, but left in these slander charges. And now this report from ABC news.com Amanda Knox loves Italy and would like to go back to Perugia despite having spent four years in prison there, her lawyer said today. The lawyer also said Knox may go back to Italy this year as a defense witness for her parents who are charged with slander. That is a Ron Donald don't. All Knox family members who can hear me right now do not go back to Italy for any reason.
Eliza
You went like 400 times. I mean, they flew there constantly. They've seen it. They've been there.
Jen Flash Andrews
And if you are convicted of slander in Italy, let's leave that as an outstanding charge. Here's what you do. You get a world map. You get a Sharpie. You draw a big X through Italy, and then you don't go to anywhere on the map that has a big X through it. If you're a Knox family member, this.
Eliza
Would be like Josh Vital and Shane Bauer going back to Iran because they've realized that they left their favorite hoodie there. It's just, you don't do that. If you are able to get out of bogus charges and get out of.
Jen Flash Andrews
A country where everyone still hates you and thinks you did it, don't go back. And I would say to Italy. And I'm not usually so sort of, you know, Chuck Norris about these things. I'm not usually so Lee Greenwood, I should say. But if Italy, after holding this girl who we think is innocent for four years, running her name through the mud, running up a bill of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars for.
Eliza
Her family, and by the way, allowing your newspapers to print all this, foxy, Knoxy, she had sex with 10 guys, blah, blah, blah. I mean, you slandered her like crazy. Let's call it even.
Jen Flash Andrews
If after all of that, you want to. You want to convict her parents of some kind of a weird charge of. Of. Of. Of, you know, saying that the police were not being cool. Their daughter, and then you want to sentence them and you decide you need to come send, like, Seal Team 7 or whatever, you have to come get them from the United States and rendition them back to Italy. I would say good luck. Yeah, I would like to see Italy come over here and get the Knox parents out of West Seattle and take them over and put them in jail in Italy. I'm sorry I don't say this kind of thing often, but bring it on. Okay. Really and truly, Italy. And this is why the Knox family should not, for any reason, go back there and deal with this.
Eliza
No, we can't protect you there, but we can protect you in West Seattle.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah, I mean, are you worried it's going to hurt your credit? What are you worried about? Like, why would you go there and try to.
Eliza
Like, perhaps your orders for Dolce and Gabbana won't go through.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yeah. What. What does Italy. What is Italy holding over you other than not going back to Italy, which I just assume is a given?
Eliza
Yeah, I agree.
Jen Flash Andrews
So there you go. That's an rdd. Hey, speaking of Italy and things that come from Italy, Chateau San Michelle, they make great wine. They come from Washington state, but their wine is. Is incredible, you know, on par with European wines. Anything in Italy and much better than whatever. I'm gonna admit something, Jen. I don't want you To. I don't want you to feel like I wasn't trying to give it my all on Saturday night when we did the TBTL 1000. But I'll tell you what happened. I was in charge of getting the drinks for the Green Room, so I stopped off at the store, and I bought a bunch of beer, and I thought I should buy some wine, too. But I was looking around, and I thought, I don't know who's gonna be drinking this wine. I don't know if it's gonna end up being, you know, just some random groupies, by the way. We had no groupies. Zero groupies. My kid was there, so that was fun. It was rock and roll. You know what Motley Crue never had in the Green Room? Their kids.
Eliza
I walked in the Green Room at one point, and it was. It was Addie and Tom Tangney and Grizz's husband, and they were talking about Downton Abbey, so it wasn't the wild part.
Jen Flash Andrews
And occasionally my mom and dad would come through to get more free pizza, I think is what was happening. But so I was like. I was like, I don't know who's gonna drink this wine? And I was. You know, the bill for the beer and stuff was starting to add up, so I went ahead and I got some.
Eliza
I picked up some cheap stuff, some gas station wine.
Jen Flash Andrews
The Safeway equivalent of gas station wine. Whatever this stuff is that I'm looking at. Product of France. Hmm. And because we were out of Chateau St. Michel, so I brought along this poor substitute. I didn't think anyone would notice. And not only did people notice, they wouldn't even touch the bottles. Nobody drank any of the cheap wine I bought. So I brought it home and I just poured some of it, and it's awful. It's just awful. I would give anything for this. To magically turn this into a bottle of Chateau St. Michel. You, though tens of listeners don't have to rely on magic. Just rely on your smarts and your forward thinking by next time at the grocery store picking up a bottle or seven of Chateau St. Michel. You can also buy it online. If you go to tbtl.net, we have a link to their website, and you can order. In restaurants, there's Chateau St. Michel. They're the official wine sponsor of TBTL. They are Chateau St. Michel, located in Woodinville, Washington. Okay, let's talk about something that is pretty cool. Now, I actually saw this, too. So, Jen, you're not the only one who knows about this. But. But the the trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie. Yeah, it's pretty gold for this movie called Moonrise Kingdom. It's. It's pretty cool looking. It is, I have to say, in some ways a parody of a Wes Anderson trailer. But it has so many, I think, kind of fun, interesting actors in it, the whole way that they assemble it. Should we just play a little bit of the trailer? Yeah, we'll see. I don't know if this really hear.
Eliza
The voices of, like, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand and Bill Murray, of course.
Jen Flash Andrews
And you'll hear very Wes Anderson Y music, of course.
Dave Ross
What kind of bird are you?
Eliza
I'm a sparrow, she's a dog.
Dave Ross
I said, what kind of bird are you? Dear Susie, here's my plan. Dear Sam, my answer is yes. Dear Susie, when?
Eliza
Dear Sam, where?
Dave Ross
Dear Susie, walk 400 yards due north from your house to the dirt path which has not got any name on it. Turn right and follow to the end. I will meet you in the meadow.
Jen Flash Andrews
Who's missing? Shakuski, you in there?
Dave Ross
Jiminy Cricket, he flew the coop.
Jen Flash Andrews
So this is basically a movie where it would appear, anyway, these two little kids fall in love, and one, the girl escapes from her house. The boy escapes from his, like, summer camp, and they make their way off into the woods to having, like, an adventure, what we'll call the Moonrise Kingdom. There's Bruce Willis, there's a Jack Russell terrier, there's Ed Norton, Jason Schwarzman, and of course, here's the French music. What am I looking at? He does water. Bill Murray, as you mentioned, Frances McDormand. Me neither. Anyway, looks like. I said it looks delightful. It looks like, like a fun two hours. It's also. I feel like it's. It's got every Wes Anderson trope in it. I know that it's pretty cool. It's not supposed to be a time where we debate the merits of something. I think the trailer is so lovely. But again, I feel kind of like somebody with a lot of money and access to stars made a trailer to look exactly like a Wes Anderson trailer.
Eliza
What I think is that visually, it's stunning, as he always is. I mean, there's this one shot of this incredibly skinny tree, and at the very top, like, way up in the sky, is this beautiful tree house, like, balanced. It has all these amazing, beautiful visuals. It's got the music. It just makes you happy to watch it. And that's actually how I feel almost every time I go to a Wes Anderson movie is I always feel like in the End. It didn't quite actually work, but it was beautiful to watch and I had a great time.
Jen Flash Andrews
I think the plots usually are. The plots usually leave a little something to be desired in his films for my taste, but everything else is usually so entertaining that you kind of put up with it. I liked. I liked Rushmore because I felt like there was at least a discernible plot, which was these guys vying for the attention of this one woman and sort of what happens. And also Jason Schwartzman's character's little journey. I feel like the West Anderson movies that don't work for me are the ones where all of the kind of the weirdness gets in the way. Like, the weirdness moves into the foreground of every shot instead of being in the background. I like it when people are doing something and then in the background you notice, oh, my God, I can't believe they have that clock there from wherever, you know.
Eliza
And he definitely indulges, especially like in Life Aquatic with Steve Zissy and the Darjeeling Express and even in Royal Tenenbaums. I mean, he tends. He indulges himself. He does whatever he. He thinks is gonna be cool. And yeah, a lot of times the plot does get sacrificed, but I still enjoy watching them. And that trailer makes me happy.
Jen Flash Andrews
Yes, I agree. It is. It's. It's wonderful. And I would say that I'm glad to see that because there was reports after the Life Aquatic that Bill Murray said he would never work with Wes Anderson again.
Eliza
Really?
Jen Flash Andrews
They were basically on a boat, I think, in Italy for it was called the Costa Concordia. They were. They were on a boat in Italy for some insane amount of time shooting that thing. And the reports were that Bill Murray was just at his wits end. It was like, I'll never ever work with this guy again. But clearly that's not the case because here he is in this. In this little picture. Okay, and then what is this book that you want to tell us about?
Eliza
Oh, okay. I just read this book called the Scorpio Races and it's by Maggie Stiefvater and she is the same one I recommended a couple years ago. She wrote this trilogy called the first was Linger and Then or Shiver Linger and Forever. And this one is called the Scorpio Races and it takes place. I think it's kind of modern day. The only thing is that she has. Everything about it is real except she has incorporated the mythical water horses in Ireland as real. And so it's about this really, really famous race that takes place on this island off of Ireland between water horses. And it's really beautiful and funny and romantic and I really enjoyed it. And so I, I would say it's pretty cool.
Jen Flash Andrews
How many books do you read a week?
Eliza
About four.
Jen Flash Andrews
Like full on books or at any one time you're reading four books?
Eliza
No, I don't read. I don't read books at the same time. I have to finish.
Jen Flash Andrews
So I mean, are you speed reading? How do you read, how do you read a 500 page book in two days? You don't do anything else?
Eliza
I don't think they're 500 pages, first of all. I think most books are more in the 300 range and like the Scorpio race is in young adult and so it's a little easier to read. It's larger print, for instance. And then also I have really bad insomnia, as you know, and I can't generally put a book down. I just finish it all the way through. So sometimes I'll finish at 3 and 4 in the morning. But I also set aside, you know, two hours every single day of solid reading time that I don't cheat on. So.
Jen Flash Andrews
Wow. I wish I could set aside two hours a day, do anything including this show.
Eliza
But reading is, is, honestly it's like reading is fundamental and it is a great joy in my life. Like I don't feel like now I gotta read like I'm doing it because I love it.
Jen Flash Andrews
Every time I'm reading, I'm enjoying it. Like the occasional times where I actually like quiet my brain down. Don't double book everything and sit like on my couch and read a book, Drink a glass of wine. I find it tremendously enjoyable. My problem is blocking out that time. How do you. I mean, I guess you're just more disciplined than the rest of us. Is that what it comes down to?
Eliza
Probably.
Jen Flash Andrews
You and Eliza, just cocky as all hell. Her for growing up in England and you for the fact that you read for two hours every day. Let's see, anything else that we. Anything else we must get to or can we wrap it on up here on this show?
Eliza
I think we can wrap it up.
Jen Flash Andrews
Okay, perfect. Let's go out. Since we're talking Wes Anderson, let's go out with a little Yves Montan from the Rushmore soundtrack. Thanks for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with much more TBTL for you. Until we meet again, please remember, no mountain too tall.
Eliza
And good luck to all.
Jen Flash Andrews
Twal elal Croissant. Kibria belongs.
Episode Summary: TBTL #1002 – "That's A Ron Donald Don't!"
In the milestone Episode #1002 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, released on January 25, 2012, hosts Luke Burbank and Jen Flash Andrews navigate a lively array of topics, blending humor, insightful discussions, and engaging listener interactions. This episode, aptly titled "That's A Ron Donald Don't!," delves into personal anecdotes, cultural critiques, and quirky segments that epitomize the show's dynamic spirit.
The episode opens with Luke introducing the concept of "Ron Donald Do's," a set of guiding principles aimed at professional and personal conduct. He humorously lists them as Politeness, Professionalism, Perfectionism, Proactive, and Being on Time (00:00). However, the conversation quickly takes a comedic turn as the hosts grapple with expanding this list, leading to playful confusion:
Luke Burbank (00:00): "It's crystal clear. Ron Donald do's. Okay, the four P's and one B. Politeness, professionalism, perfectionism, Proactive. Be on time."
Jen Flash Andrews (00:09): "I have a proactive suggestion."
Their banter sets the tone for the episode, emphasizing the show's lighthearted approach to discussing seemingly serious topics.
Jen unveils a new segment titled "That is a Ron Donald Don't," where they humorously caution listeners against certain actions or decisions. This segment serves as both comedic relief and practical advice, wrapped in the show's signature witty delivery.
Jen Flash Andrews (02:10): "We're giving them a giant rdd. Also, you know kids and how they have dreams and stuff."
This introduction paves the way for deeper discussions and listener interactions later in the episode.
A significant portion of the episode features listener Eliza, who shares her nostalgic experience of being a child voice actor in the 1993 animated film "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story." Eliza recounts how she and her classmates were recruited by filmmakers to provide American English voices for the characters, highlighting the innocent enthusiasm of childhood stardom:
Eliza (03:05): "I was actually, I was so happy when I was climbing the stairs because I thought, now I'm getting my health back on."
Jen Flash Andrews (03:42): "Traffic has been insane in this town the last couple days."
Eliza elaborates on her limited recognition in the film, reflecting humorously on how her aspirations for a lasting acting career didn't quite materialize:
Eliza (37:45): "I'm a fundraiser. Not exactly the glamorous stardom I was aspiring to."
The conversation touches on themes of fleeting fame and the unpredictable nature of the entertainment industry, resonating with listeners who may have similar unfulfilled dreams.
Transitioning from personal anecdotes, Eliza introduces an intriguing discussion on a psychological study about creativity and idea selection. The study explores how allowing the subconscious mind to process ideas through activities like playing video games or engaging in unrelated tasks can enhance the ability to discern quality ideas from the initial plethora generated.
Eliza (14:24): "They said, first of all, that idea about sleep on it is totally true. If there's any way that you can go to sleep and let your subconscious work on it all night long."
Jen reflects on her own creative habits, recognizing the value in the study's findings and expressing intent to incorporate such practices into her workflow:
Jen Flash Andrews (17:46): "I don't. It never occurs to me to just get it to a certain point, leave it, come back to it a week later and say, oh, how's that?"
This segment offers listeners practical insights into enhancing their creative processes, encouraging a balance between active brainstorming and subconscious incubation.
Eliza shifts gears to discuss a recent development in the field of botany: the transition from Latin to English in naming and describing new plant species. She explains the challenges scientists face with Latin, a requirement that often necessitates the assistance of Latin scholars, thereby complicating the process:
Eliza (18:36): "And so they're required to describe it in Latin, to describe why it's new, its properties and all the things that make it."
The hosts critique the previous system's complexity and applaud the shift towards more accessible English descriptions, highlighting its potential to reduce fraud in the lucrative orchid market:
Jen Flash Andrews (19:40): "It's ridiculous because what they've provided a translation for everything, but it would be so much more intuitive to just use the English."
This discussion underscores the importance of language accessibility in scientific communication, advocating for advancements that streamline and democratize knowledge dissemination.
In another humorous yet pointed segment, the hosts delve into a local news story about a Utah high school overriding students' choice of "Cougars" as their mascot due to perceived offensive connotations. Eliza vehemently defends the term, arguing that it's simply an animal mascot:
Eliza (23:12): "Because it's an offensive term used for older women. I mean, talk about letting people steal the language."
Jen and Eliza chuckle over the absurdity of changing an animal mascot based on contemporary slang interpretations, with Jen sarcastically suggesting even more outrageous replacements:
Jen Flash Andrews (26:32): "They're gonna have to call the animal Cougar anymore. They're gonna have to call them MILFs."
This segment satirizes the complexities of modern language usage and the challenges institutions face in addressing cultural sensitivities without overstepping.
The hosts express their excitement over the trailer for Wes Anderson's film "Moonrise Kingdom," commending its visual aesthetics and the ensemble cast, which includes Bruce Willis, Bill Murray, and Frances McDormand. They discuss Anderson's distinctive filmmaking style, noting both its charm and occasional storytelling shortcomings:
Jen Flash Andrews (50:30): "It just makes you happy to watch it. And that's actually how I feel almost every time I go to a Wes Anderson movie."
Eliza echoes these sentiments, appreciating the director's ability to create visually stunning and emotionally engaging narratives, despite some plot inconsistencies:
Eliza (52:33): "It's visually stunning, as he always is... It just makes you happy to watch it."
Their critique highlights the delicate balance between artistic expression and narrative coherence in filmmaking, offering listeners an informed perspective on contemporary cinema.
A pivotal moment in the episode features a Ron Donald Don't segment addressing the legal struggles of Amanda Knox, a Seattle-area woman wrongfully convicted of murder in Italy. The hosts fervently advise Knox and her family against returning to Italy due to ongoing slander charges and potential legal repercussions:
Jen Flash Andrews (43:07): "That is a Ron Donald don't. All Knox family members who can hear me right now do not go back to Italy for any reason."
They recount Knox's harrowing experience, including allegations of police brutality and wrongful detention, emphasizing the importance of avoiding further legal entanglements:
Jen Flash Andrews (45:16): "So if you are a Knox family member, this would be like Josh Vital and Shane Bauer going back to Iran because they've realized that they left their favorite hoodie there. It's just, you don't do that."
The hosts employ sharp wit to underline the imprudence of re-engaging with a hostile legal environment, providing a blend of humor and stern advice to their audience.
Jen shares an amusing anecdote from her role as the emcee at the Sasquatch Music Festival's announcement party. Tasked with providing beverages, she opted for cheaper wine alternatives due to budget constraints, only to discover that the attendees preferred higher-quality selections:
Jen Flash Andrews (47:17): "But I was looking around, and I thought, I don't know who's gonna be drinking this wine... Nobody drank any of the cheap wine I bought."
Eliza and Jen laugh over the incident, highlighting the challenges of event planning and the hosts' relatable mishaps:
Jen Flash Andrews (48:58): "It's just awful. I would give anything for this to magically turn this into a bottle of Chateau St. Michel."
This story serves as a lighthearted interlude, showcasing the hosts' ability to turn personal blunders into entertaining content.
Closing the episode, Eliza recommends "The Scorpio Races" by Maggie Stiefvater, praising its blend of mythology and romance set against an Irish backdrop:
Eliza (54:35): "It's about this really, really famous race that takes place on this island off of Ireland between water horses. And it's really beautiful and funny and romantic and I really enjoyed it."
She discusses her disciplined reading routine, dedicating two hours daily despite battling insomnia, inspiring listeners to prioritize reading and personal growth:
Eliza (55:25): "I have to finish it all the way through... I set aside, you know, two hours every single day of solid reading time that I don't cheat on."
Jen reflects on her own reading habits, acknowledging the difficulty in carving out dedicated time but appreciating the importance of immersive literature:
Jen Flash Andrews (56:10): "I wish I could set aside two hours a day, do anything including this show."
This segment emphasizes the value of reading as both a personal joy and a means of continual learning, encouraging listeners to cultivate their own literary pursuits.
As the episode wraps up, Luke and Jen express their gratitude to Eliza for sharing her unique experiences and reaffirm their commitment to delivering engaging content. They also take a moment to promote Chateau St. Michel, the show's official wine sponsor, encouraging listeners to visit their website for quality wine selections:
Jen Flash Andrews (48:58): "You can also buy it online. If you go to tbtl.net, we have a link to their website, and you can order."
The hosts conclude with their signature blend of humor and warmth, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next episode:
Jen Flash Andrews (57:15): "Thanks for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with much more TBTL for you. Until we meet again, please remember, no mountain too tall."
Ron Donald Do's Introduction (00:00):
Luke Burbank: "Politeness, professionalism, perfectionism, Proactive. Be on time."
Creative Incubation Insight (14:34):
Eliza: "Sleep on it is totally true... Subconscious is working on it."
Botany Naming Change (18:36):
Eliza: "They're required to describe it in Latin... Most people don't speak Latin really well."
Mascot Naming Frustration (23:12):
Eliza: "Because it's an offensive term used for older women."
Amanda Knox Advice (43:05):
Jen Flash Andrews: "That is a Ron Donald don't... Do not go back."
Wine Mishap Reflection (48:58):
Jen Flash Andrews: "Nobody drank any of the cheap wine I bought. It’s just awful."
Reading Discipline Admiration (55:25):
Eliza: "I set aside two hours every single day of solid reading time that I don't cheat on."
Episode #1002 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live masterfully intertwines humor, personal narratives, and topical discussions, offering a rich and engaging listening experience. From dissecting creative processes and botanical nomenclature to sharing listener stories and addressing international legal woes, Luke and Jen maintain a balance of levity and depth. Their ability to seamlessly transition between segments and maintain a cohesive flow ensures that both long-time listeners and newcomers find value and entertainment in each episode.
Listeners are left with a blend of laughter, thoughtful insights, and relatable content, making this episode a quintessential example of what TBTL stands for: navigating the complexities of life with friendship, humor, and a touch of absurdity.