Episode #814

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live - Episode #814

Title: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Host(s): Luke Burbank & Jen Flash Andrews
Release Date: May 11, 2011
Duration: Approximately 54 minutes

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Introduction

In Episode #814 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Jen Flash Andrews delve into their recent experiences hosting live shows in Chicago, discuss the impact of yearbook accolades, explore the outcomes of the New Yorker Caption Contest, and share significant announcements about their future plans. The episode is rich with humor, camaraderie, and insightful reflections, making it an engaging listen for both regular followers and newcomers.

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Chicago Live Shows and Alice's Lounge Karaoke

Overview:
Luke and Jen recount their exhilarating weekend in Chicago, where they hosted two live shows titled "Perfect Strangers" and "Family Matters." A significant highlight was their impromptu karaoke session at Alice's Lounge, featuring the charismatic karaoke DJ, Fred Wood.

Key Discussions:

• Show Planning and Execution:
  Luke reflects on the challenges of planning consecutive live shows, noting how the second show ("Family Matters") was organized under tighter time constraints, leading to a more spontaneous and enjoyable experience.
  “But I think what they collectively sensed was your migraine. That was. They knew that there was something.” ([05:30])

• Fred Wood’s Karaoke Extravaganza:
  Fred Wood, the karaoke DJ at Alice's Lounge, employs an array of props to enhance the karaoke experience, transforming it into an entertaining spectacle. His use of inflatable instruments and timely prop engagements during performances captivated the audience.
  “There is something quite special about having props that match the song. It elevates the entire performance.” ([15:23])

• Memorable Moments:

  • Party in the USA Performance: Fred's use of American flags during Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA" added a visual flair that delighted listeners.
  • Janis Joplin Interruption: During a Janis Joplin song, Fred abruptly paused the music citing "Union rules," leaving the audience amused and impressed by his unpredictability.
    “Everybody was taking pictures of him and I was, you know, I was just... I just honestly don't think I've been as delighted by anything in a long...” ([13:01])

• Community and Audience Reaction:
  The Chicago audience was exceptionally supportive, with attendees from various regions, including listeners flying in from Seattle, San Francisco, and Florida. The hosts appreciated the familial vibe and the positive interactions, such as helping a listener who tripped in the bar.
  “Somebody emailed me that she went to get a drink, and when she was getting back to her seat, she tripped... a bunch of tens came over and helped her up.” ([21:05])

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank ([05:36]): “If we didn't plan them so carefully, then if we went up there without any plan and we're just, like, waiting for a train wreck to happen... I think what's the best sort of happy medium is to have a really good plan that occasionally goes off the rails.”

• Jen Flash Andrews ([06:16]): “I was very confused at the very beginning of that segment. And then I kind of was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.”

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Yearbook "Most Likely to Succeed" Discussion

Overview:
The hosts engage in a thoughtful conversation about the implications of the "Most Likely to Succeed" award in high school yearbooks, examining the psychological pressure it can impose on recipients.

Key Points:

• Pressure and Expectations:
  Jen cites an article illustrating how individuals awarded "Most Likely to Succeed" often feel an overwhelming pressure to live up to the title, regardless of their actual life outcomes.
  “Despite the fact that she makes six figures and has traveled the world, so and so says she can't help but measure herself every day by the question, have I lived up to my most likely to succeed title?” ([31:02])

• Host Experiences:
  Susie shares personal anecdotes about her school experience, highlighting how such accolades can lead to long-term emotional impacts.
  “He wrote it in my yearbook. But anyway, not only did he have this absolutely crappiest car you've ever seen... That is awesome.” ([33:04])

• Potential Solutions:
  The hosts discuss whether schools should eliminate all such designations to alleviate unnecessary stress on students.
  “I think that is a tremendous amount of pressure for the kind of person who would garner that kind of accolade.” ([37:24])

Notable Quotes:

• Susie Burbank ([32:49]): “I actually, I gave this some thought today because I think that the kind of people who would win most likely to succeed are the kind of people who would feel that kind of pressure.”

• Jen Flash Andrews ([35:43]): “I think we've got to get rid of all of them because... it's gonna be kind of hard not to be out in public.”

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New Yorker Caption Contest Results

Overview:
The hosts review the finalists of the New Yorker Caption Contest, sharing their reactions and encouraging listeners to participate in future contests.

Key Points:

• Finalist Captions:
  The top three captions received were met with mixed reactions, with Susie expressing disappointment over pun-based entries and Jen showing amusement.
  “I must find the tree that killed my father.” ([41:43])

• Host Involvement:
  Despite their enthusiasm, none of the hosts' entries made it to the finals. They encourage listeners to continue participating and share their own creative captions.
  “It's going to be awesome.” ([40:39])

Notable Quotes:

• Susie Burbank ([41:19]): “I must find the tree that killed my father. That's very abstract.”

• Luke Burbank ([43:26]): “That's gonna get an awesome.”

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Announcements and Closing News

Overview:
In the latter part of the episode, the hosts share significant updates about their personal lives and discuss the closure of a beloved local bar.

Key Announcements:

• Hosts Returning to Seattle:
  Jen and her partner Jason announce their temporary return to Seattle for the summer to be closer to home and support Jason’s architecture project. This transition means Jen will be telecommuting while working on the show.
  “Tomorrow morning, Jason and I are getting in our car and heading west to come home to Seattle.” ([46:51])

• Closure of The Rimrock:
  Susie delivers the sad news of The Rimrock, a favorite Lake City Way establishment known for its 'Mustang Sally' nights, shutting down due to insufficient patronage.
  “The Rimrock on Lake City Way, the site of my Mustang Sally debacle... has closed down. It's gone.” ([51:05])

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Flash Andrews ([50:30]): “While in Chicago, I bought a mystery bag of 10 techno records. And so I'm gonna bring in my record player and play different hot cuts from each of those records for this week's mixtape.”

• Luke Burbank ([52:27]): “This is a public service, Jen, that we provide here.”

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Conclusion

Episode #814 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and meaningful discussions. The hosts successfully convey their experiences from Chicago, contemplate the societal impacts of school awards, engage with their audience through interactive segments, and leave listeners with heartfelt announcements. The episode exemplifies the show's signature blend of lighthearted banter and insightful commentary, making it a standout installment in the TBTL series.

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Notable Timestamped Quotes:

• Luke Burbank ([05:36]): “If we didn't plan them so carefully, then if we went up there without any plan and we're just, like, waiting for a train wreck to happen... I think what's the best sort of happy medium is to have a really good plan that occasionally goes off the rails.”

• Fred Wood ([15:23]): “I've been doing it a real long time... it's mushroomed into quite a wonderful experience.”

• Susie Burbank ([37:24]): “I think that is a tremendous amount of pressure for the kind of person who would garner that kind of accolade.”

• Luke Burbank ([46:51]): “Tomorrow morning, Jason and I are getting in our car and heading west to come home to Seattle.”

• Susie Burbank ([51:05]): “The Rimrock on Lake City Way... has closed down. It's gone.”

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Episode #814, highlighting the key segments, notable quotes, and the hosts' engaging discussions. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to TBTL, this episode offers a delightful mix of entertainment and reflection.

Transcript

[Susie Burbank]

No, you, Honor.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not disputing the fine. I'm refusing to pay it. Grenade respawn. Miss. I mean, ma'am.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Read the fine print.

[Luke Burbank]

If you don't pay, I can sentence you to up to three weeks of community service.

[Susie Burbank]

How about three months?

[Luke Burbank]

This is a sham. Your dishonor, nay, a mockery. I put the system on trial. You can't handle the truth. I'm out of order. You're out of order, Victor so Fuentes. Hooah.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Gavel, gavel, gavel.

[Sean Dettore]

Tbtm.

[Luke Burbank]

Putting the system on trial five days a week. This is tbtl, the show that's probably too beautiful to live. Welcome, everybody, to a very special Wednesday afternoon edition of the program Sweet Berry Wine. I'm your host, Luke Burbank. Weighing in at £185. I really enjoyed myself in Chicago. Really enjoyed myself. To the tune of adding a few pounds to the old, old waistline. Hey, this is episode. I think it's 814 in a collector series.

[Susie Burbank]

Luke's mom, Susie, coming tonight on tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, we've got all kinds of stuff. Jen's got a big announcement. Jen came here today to make an.

[Susie Burbank]

Important, life changing announcement.

[Luke Burbank]

So let's everybody stand up for this. We'll hear that. Also, it's pretty cool, you know, it's pretty cool being hosts of an amaz imaginary radio show and interacting with you, the tens of listeners. On Wednesdays, we actually take it a step further and tell you about other things that we think are pretty cool. We'll get into that. And because we had so much fun doing it in Chicago, now apparently we're gonna bring it back. We'll do some awesome. Not awesome for you. First, a lady who always finds herself squarely in the awesome category. I love Jesus, but I drink a little. Jen, Flash Andrews, who is on the line from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Hi, Jen.

[Susie Burbank]

Hi, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

How are you?

[Susie Burbank]

I'm good. Although the famed Midwest humidity has hit.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my goodness, like all of a.

[Susie Burbank]

Sudden, just a wall of moisture.

[Luke Burbank]

It's weird because we've also got a wall of moisture in here and it's like 40 degrees and raining. Maybe that's because of my cohort, Mr. Sean Dettore, who's packed very closely into this broadcast closet with me. Don't worry though, it wasn't gay.

[Fred Wood]

It's just two men celebrating each other's stre.

[Luke Burbank]

That's all we do here when we broadcast from the station. Hello, Shawnee.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh, hello.

[Luke Burbank]

Japan's number one mixer. How are you? How are you? Recovered from your Flight back to Seattle and all of the festivities in Chicago.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes, it was a nice, mediocre recovery.

[Luke Burbank]

What does that mean?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I meant mediocre in the way that the length of time it took for me to get feeling better.

[Luke Burbank]

So it could have been better, but it could have been worse.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It was perfect, actually.

[Luke Burbank]

Mediocre has never been used to describe something being perfect. Just so you know, for, like, if you, you know, your Toastmasters Club or anywhere you're giving a speech. Mediocre almost always means imperfect.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I'm writing that down.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Good flash. How are you recovering from everything? I guess you had kind of a. Kind of a dramatic and traumatic Sunday after it was all said and done, huh?

[Susie Burbank]

I did. Well, it actually started on Saturday night. It was really. It's. I think our bodies are amazing. And I know that sounds like I'm talking to kindergartners. Our bodies are amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

They really are.

[Susie Burbank]

But at about. At a little before 2:00 in the morning on Sunday morning, at Alice's Lounge, where we were having our after after party, I just had this feeling like, I'm done and I need to go home right now. And I wasn't sick. I didn't feel sick or anything like that, but I just had a sense that I needed to leave. And so I went to one end of the room and I worked my way all the way down the line, said goodbye to everybody, went outside where Shawn and Vanessa were, said goodbye. I was driving, so I hadn't had. So Jason could drink. So I hadn't had one thing to drink. So I got in the car and I was driving back to our hotel, and it hit on the way back. A migraine.

[Luke Burbank]

Your body knew something was going on, huh?

[Susie Burbank]

Because if it had happened in the bar, it would have been really bad because I was incapacitated. I was vomiting, and I couldn't have any light at all. I had to pull over and wrap my shirt around my eyes.

[Luke Burbank]

Is this something that has happened to you before?

[Susie Burbank]

It happened once when I was engaged, under a massive stress, like, you know, like the week before the wedding when I had a million things to do.

[Luke Burbank]

Mm.

[Susie Burbank]

So it happened that time. And so I think it was just a culmination of everything, probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Susie Burbank]

But I'm so happy that my body, like, held on, you know, until it was like. It could. It could happen. Like, even 10 minutes earlier would have been kind of a nightmare.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. We had enough drunk shenanigans going on in the bar.

[Susie Burbank]

Fat.

[Luke Burbank]

Both of the planned and unplanned variety.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It was an amazing time.

[Luke Burbank]

It was quite something. I mean, okay, so to start, because we basically were on tape the last two days playing the shows, we did a show on Friday night in Chicago, which we called Perfect Strangers. We did a show on Saturday night called Family Matters. And let's see, thoughts on the two nights. I think it's interesting because the first night was probably more carefully planned out because, you know, I just kept. When I was putting together the script and the plan and tossing it back and forth, you guys kept thinking, if we can just get Friday under our belt, then we'll worry about Saturday. But of course, that meant that when it was time to do Saturdays, it was pulled together in like a 30th of the time. And yet Saturday was really, really fun for its, for its own reasons. Did you guys have a favorite? I know what your favorite episode was, Sean.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

What?

[Luke Burbank]

42 seconds, 13 seconds.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That was really, really fun. There were so many highlights, like on stage and off stage. It's really hard to sort of pick favorite. But I really did love the timekeeping thing.

[Susie Burbank]

And then also it's interesting how we didn't. It didn't occur to us that you didn't understand what a 10 second warning was.

[Luke Burbank]

No. Right.

[Susie Burbank]

You don't give it every 10 seconds.

[Luke Burbank]

That only came to light later. I mean, well, after the show was recorded, was that you thought. Because I said, sean, you'll be the timekeeper. This was in our meeting. Granted, you had been out with a showcase hobo until mere moments before we were talking to you. So maybe your brain wasn't right. And you said, okay. And I said, yeah. So you'll give like, you'll give like a 10 second warning.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Meaning you'll count 50 seconds in your head.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

And then when that's all done, then you'll. You'll say 10 seconds left. You just thought, starting at 10 seconds, it's time to ring the alarm. And then we're just giving random warnings.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I was very confused at the very beginning of that segment. And then I kind of was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. And then I was like, well, now I'm just gonna go kinda nuts. Butt nuts, as you would say.

[Susie Burbank]

That's how we got to 42 second warning, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

24 and a half.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I loved Saturday night show because it was pretty wild and pretty off the cuff. I also thought Friday night show was. What was amazing was Sunday's show, which none of you saw, which was just me at Shuba's by myself. No, I thought Friday night show, though, actually was a total blast, too. I mean, what were your feelings, Jennifer?

[Susie Burbank]

I liked the Friday show better because it was better planned and executed as planned. I have to say, though, that the overwhelming feeling I got from everybody is they liked Saturday better because it felt unplanned.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Susie Burbank]

And that's the thing that has always been the tension on TBTL is that I want it to be really, really planned. And the audience loves a good train wreck. And we didn't even have a train wreck on Saturday, but I think people felt like it was in the offing.

[Luke Burbank]

It was. It was imminent. Turns out they were collectively sensing your migraine. That was. They knew there was. They knew that there was something. The clouds were forming over Mordor. Yeah, I. This was a totally new. Not a totally new, but kind of a different approach. These two shows where we basically just did TBTL episodes, we didn't have a bunch of guests. We kind of did the thing that we normally do here on the show every day. And I think that that actually worked really well. And I had a lot of people say, oh, I brought my girlfriend or my boyfriend. They don't even know what this is. But now they like it. So. Which is cool, because part of the theory behind the first, I don't know, five of these shows that we did was, well, what if someone comes and they don't know what TBTL is? Wouldn't it be great if they could kind of, like, have something that would be appealing to them? Let's not make it too inside to the power of inside. But it turns out that really, that was equally appealing or unappealing to them, you know, as all the other shows that we had done. The thing, though, is that I think that if we actually. If we didn't plan them so carefully, then if we went up there without any plan and we're just, like, waiting for a train wreck to happen. It would. And I guess the fans would like it, but I also think it would. I think what's the best. The best sort of happy medium is to have a really good plan that occasionally goes off the rails.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Right. Like, have something. Yeah. Like have a segment. Know what you're gonna do. But if it goes this way or that.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. Like, have a segment that's really.

[Susie Burbank]

But if you have a timekeeper who doesn't know how to keep time, that's okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Build. Build a really serious segment with slides and all kinds of plans, and then make Sean the timekeeper. Then you've introduced an element of randomness that you need to kind of, you know, keep it interesting.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

10 seconds.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway, it was super fun. And again, thank you to everybody who came out. I have to say though, that maybe the most surprising part of the entire weekend turned out to be our trip to Alice's Lounge. The way this came about was Saturday night. The show was over. We're all at Shuba's for a little while. It was crazy packed because I think it was. The tens were hanging around, but the people that were going to go to the late show had also arrived. So there was just a log jam of people. And they shouldn't have had those logs in there either.

[Susie Burbank]

It's a fire violation.

[Luke Burbank]

Major fire code hazard. So anyway, it was really packed. And also it just felt kind of like, okay, we're standing around talking, which is fun, but wouldn't it be fun if we also could have people doing karaoke, have an act? So I turned to listener George, who's from Grand Rapids, and said, hey, do you have any thoughts on this? Because, you know, you're from the Midwest. Anyway. And he said, let me put it out to the hive mind. And he went on Twitter and he said, what's the shittiest karaoke bar in Chicago that's also not that far from Shuba's? And what was returned to him from the hive mind was this place, Alice's Lounge. And so we kind of spread the word. And by the way, if you were someone who was at Shuba's and you didn't realize we were leaving, we are so sorry. That was not. We were not trying to create, you know, the cool kids and the uncool kids. We tried to tell everybody.

[Susie Burbank]

I did walk the length of the bar twice, calling out tens, tens to tell everybody. So hopefully everyone got the word.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you have a bell, like a lantern that you were holding and a bell you were ringing?

[Susie Burbank]

It was a very Paul Revere esque. I just wanted to make sure that everyone knew A, the red coats were coming and B, everyone was invited. So I think everyone who was in the bar got the word. I hope.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we drive over there and I knew it was going to be our kind of place because we were met at the door by Sharon from Normal, Illinois, who was doing like a dance of joy about the fact that you have to ring a doorbell to get in. Yeah, because that's awesome. If you got there too early, the door was locked.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

She was so excited. It was awesome.

[Susie Burbank]

Well, it was a bar with a doorbell. I mean, that was kind of unique.

[Luke Burbank]

So we ring the doorbell and we're let in. And it was like we had our own private bar because at that point was completely empty except for us. And there was this karaoke table that was set up, but it was draped in a black cover. And I was kind of bummed because we were all excited for karaoke, but, okay, fine, this is still a fun place. And then the lady said, oh, no, no, it doesn't start till 11. I was like, okay, this is going to be our kind of joint. So the dude shows up, the karaoke dj. He's taking a long time to set up and he's got a laptop and he's like tweaking the knobs and he's just like got this huge bag of stuff. And when the music started, we realized that what he had been setting up was the greatest thing that's ever occurred, which was a series of props which you can see photos [e-mail], there was an inflatable saxophone.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

The neck of a guitar. No guitar attached, just the neck, which was for.

[Susie Burbank]

There was also a guitar. Just sand strings, but he would use.

[Luke Burbank]

Those for different purposes. The neck of the guitar was for, like heavy metal songs when there was a lot of that, like kind of finger shredding. Shredding, as you say, you could use it for shredding. And also a faux violin because he.

[Susie Burbank]

Had a drumstick for a bow that he would play.

[Luke Burbank]

He had. And then he also had a kind of a miniature guitar, like a ukulele or something with no strings. But he would tune it. He would tune the imaginary strings. And he also.

[Susie Burbank]

He had a bow keyboard.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And a blow up saxophone.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, he had a.

[Susie Burbank]

He had a smoke machine.

[Luke Burbank]

He had American flags that he danced with during party in the usa.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

He also had really great jokes, as you were recalling the other night.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, Luke, that was so incredible. I'd totally forgotten about that. But there was this point where I think it was. Listener Pam from Buckley was winding up this Janis Joplin tune and she was like ready to bring it home. And it was this sort of dramatic moment and he just stops the music and he goes, sorry. On break. Union rules. I had never experienced anything like this in my life. I just couldn't. I sort of. My brain couldn't take it all in. The whole time. It was just what other people do.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Were they just like, what the.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, everyone was photographing.

[Susie Burbank]

Everybody was delighting in it. I think it was so novel.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody was taking pictures of him and I was, you know, I was just. I just. I honestly don't think I've been as delighted by anything in a long.

[Susie Burbank]

Oh, don't forget the fake money.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, he kept making it rain.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

He had all this fake money. Like, first I was like, someone dropped a hundo. I was trying to, like, dance over to it. I was trying to dance over to it, but be all cool and then, like, figure it up. But. So check this out. A listener who sent us, who sent us his contact info.

[Susie Burbank]

It was Justin from Tenver. Robin and Justin.

[Luke Burbank]

Robin and Justin from Tenver were smart enough to make contact with this guy and to actually get his email address. And I actually emailed him today. His name is Fred Wood. And I got him on the phone line and I started off by asking him, this is this amazing karaoke DJ at Alice's Lounge. I asked him when he started using all of these crazy props.

[Fred Wood]

I've been doing it a real long time. It's when I first started doing this, let's say 20 years ago, I noticed that people were kind of hesitant to come up and sing unless they were really a good singer. So I decided I'd do some things to kind of entertain the people who were just watching and not really participating. So that's when I kind of got into it and I got a good reaction from people. They were always complimenting me on being entertaining or I watched you play the saxophone or the drums, and I was very impressed, you know, blah, blah, blah sort of thing. So I just stayed with it. And as I learned more and more songs, there's all kinds of ways to put some amusing, you know, hints during a song. It's mushroomed into quite a wonderful experience.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's one of the things that was incredible about it. And there were a lot of incredible things about Saturday night. One of them was that you seem to have something for every single song. When someone sang Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, you had out the American flags. When there was a violin part in a song, you had the violin bow going on the guitar neck. How many songs do you have committed to memory in terms of what kind of prop you're going to use?

[Fred Wood]

Wow, there's a lot. Some I just, you know, make up depending upon what song it is. Like, if I'll pay attention to a first verse and I'll hear something in, I'll say, ah, I know what will come good in the second verse. And I'll just go and get it out. But a lot of them sort of have different themes. Like, it might be like David Bowie's Space oddity. I had this pair of alien glasses, you know, that look like the aliens that you see on TV and movies all the time. And so I'll be playing, like, the guitar, and I'll put on the alien glasses. So while that space theme is going on, I'll just be sitting there playing guitar with the glasses. But it looks sort of funny.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you actually play guitar? Because I saw you fake playing, like, a ukulele or a small guitar.

[Fred Wood]

Yeah, I really can play guitar, but that's the only one. I can't play piano or saxophone or whatever, but I can play guitar.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you have a particular favorite prop to bring out what's for you, the high point of the evening?

[Fred Wood]

Usually the keyboard is always a funny thing. It seems to get the most reaction because people aren't expecting that. They've seen a lot of people with guitars and maybe even some saxophones, but when the keyboard comes out, it's like, whoa, this guy's got everything. That's kind of funny. I do a couple of songs on the keyboard that I use. I kind of sit down, play the keyboard and also sing.

[Luke Burbank]

Before I let you go, Fred, I've got to ask you about one more thing, which to me was maybe the most surprising part of the whole act, which was the. The smoke machine, the pipe that comes down from the ceiling of Alice's and actually releases smoke during people's songs. Did you design that?

[Fred Wood]

No, no, I cannot take credit for that. That's something that Alice and Michael had put in and they also had recently. Let's say this is all, like, within the past year, I would say. Also recently added the lights, the lighting system. Prior to, like, a year ago, we didn't have any of that cool stuff. So that's been something that she's added recently. And it's. It really helps with the show.

[Luke Burbank]

Where is that smoke coming from?

[Fred Wood]

It's coming from a pipe that she has in the ceiling. She's had it in different places. One time she had it on the floorboard, but they found it like it wasn't getting around a. The whole bar as well when it was coming.

[Luke Burbank]

Is there a smoke machine somewhere that actually makes the smoke?

[Fred Wood]

Yeah, it's behind the bar.

[Luke Burbank]

And then. Are you the one who activates it?

[Fred Wood]

No, the bartender.

[Luke Burbank]

I see.

[Fred Wood]

Because we were all controlled from behind there.

[Luke Burbank]

We were trying.

[Fred Wood]

I can do the lights, not the smoke.

[Luke Burbank]

Because we were trying to figure out how a person. Because the smoke came out kind of on some songs, but not other songs. And we were thinking to ourselves, you know, what can we do in the song to qualify for getting the smoke treatment?

[Fred Wood]

Yeah. Best way to do it. The ask, and then I'll tell the bartender to do it.

[Luke Burbank]

So there you go. That's Fred Wood. Are we ready to declare him the greatest karaoke DJ in America?

[Susie Burbank]

It's not even a contest. I've never seen anyone even half that involved.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And by the way, the proper term for kj. Kj. That's exactly right.

[Luke Burbank]

So he is officially. I mean, again, not even close. You know, there were some things I cut out of that interview, so it wasn't too long. But another thing he said was whenever it's busy, he never sings because he wants to make sure everyone who's come in there to sing gets their songs in, which puts them even higher, which is amazing. And I remember Vanessa signed me up for a song at the bitter end of the night, and it was like a George Michael torch song. And I was thinking, it's kind of a party vibe here. So when I got up there, I was like, hey, can I change it? And I was. You know, I was pretty tired and emotional by that point. And he was like, it's. You know what? You're the one performing whatever song you want. Like, he was really nice about it. Like, the best. Yeah, the absolute best.

[Susie Burbank]

It was definitely, like, the most fun I've ever had karaoke.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Like, you think that song from The Karate Kid 2, you're the best.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Around.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You think that was written just for him?

[Luke Burbank]

I think. I think it actually was. I think that might be from Karate Kid 1, but I know what you mean, and I do think that was written about Fred Wood. So if you're ever in Chicago, and to you, who are the tens that live in Chicago, God love you. You've got the world on a string.

[Susie Burbank]

You just ring that doorbell and you're going into heaven.

[Luke Burbank]

Because Tuesdays, Thursdays, and I'm not sure if it's Fridays and Saturdays, but definitely Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Fred Wood is there with his inflatable saxophone, and he is ready to party. Anything else flash that we want to. That we. That we need to say, get to cover. Related to the Chicago shows before we. Before we move upward and onward.

[Susie Burbank]

Just so thankful to the everybody who came out who were such great audiences. I mean, they were just game and up for everything. And it was really made it fun, you know, especially in light of everything about the Charlie Sheen shows and everything. It was just really fun to have people there to have a good time and, like, Somebody emailed me that she went to get a drink, and when she was getting back to her seat, she tripped.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no.

[Susie Burbank]

And, you know, in. In a lot of venues, people would laugh or whatever, but she said that, you know, a bunch of tens came over and helped her up and were, like, joking with her and made her feel better about it. I just thought that just makes me feel so good that that was the vibe that night.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. I want to say that everyone that I've met has been awesome, whether it's been past tens from other events that I actually got to see again in Chicago, or the people that I met that I had correspondence via email. And then the new people that I had never even met before, like, everybody is just like, the sweetest person.

[Luke Burbank]

Somebody did email me and say it was so awesome meeting you guys, and you guys were exactly how I hoped you would be in terms of just being normal. And if you'd been rude, I would have stopped listening to the show, but you were normal. So now we're still peeps. And I thought, okay, I guess I'm glad we passed that test. Also.

[Susie Burbank]

I do always think, though, that's always my goal every time we have one of these is that I want people to walk away saying that they were what they thought, that we were what they thought we would be.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. Because we're just being ourselves here. So it's like, it's gonna be kind of hard not to be out in public.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I did feel a little bit. I was just the slightest bit worried as we were meeting people, because there was a lot of people who, like, people who flew in. Listener Sheila flew in and dragged her husband and kid from Ithaca, New York, for this thing.

[Susie Burbank]

Oh, yeah, There were people from Florida.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. People came in from San Francisco. And I kind of felt like, okay, these people listen to the show. They know us as these people on this podcast. But now we're meeting in real life, and we have bad breath or if we are not making sense because we're a little. Maybe too drunk or distracted or whatever. Now we're real humans who they're talking to, and we can kind of only go down in their estimation, was my concern. My fear was like, it's much easier to like someone when you don't really know them. But it seems like everybody had a fun time, and the feedback we got from everybody was. Was really positive. So we're gonna.

[Susie Burbank]

And that our plan worked. I can't tell you how many people came up and said, it really does feel like family tonight. I know the whole Strangers to Family.

[Luke Burbank]

Was like a perfect arc because I actually. That's a great point, Flash, because I never really figured out what we were actually doing differently. Like why one show was named one thing and one was named the other.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, we just got that. That makes total sense.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Well, anyway, big thanks to everybody who came out. We will probably be on a little hiatus from these because I have what I'm calling the ultimate live show called My Wedding that I need to plan. There will be slides. No, there won't. I'm calling it the ultimate live show, which Van doesn't like. Although she likes that more than what I was calling it, which was the Deuce.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

She put the major kibosh on that. So anyway, that's in October, but. But after that we'll be back on the road, back out there and very excited to see everybody. Alright, let's hear a little bit of music and then we're going to come back and we'll do some awesome. Not awesome. And also it's pretty cool. We have a big announcement coming up. First though, let's play you some music from a band called Cults. This was recommended to me by my kid. This is what we do on this show. We keep your finger on the pulse of the youth of America.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That's great.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, I don't even think. Yeah, this is probably not even such a youthy band as my kid has like the musical taste of like a bearded indie nerd who reads Pitchfork and is like 33.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Dude, cults were just here like three weeks ago.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that means that they're probably still out on tour and they may be coming to a town near you, so they might be worth checking out. This is a song recommended by my kid, Addy. And this song is called oh my God. Back with more TBTL in just one moment.

[Sean Dettore]

I'm so tired of sitting around here with my boring life Wishing I could find another name to go by Late at night I'm dreaming about a time where I could change my thoughts Please don't tell me no the rules to go by I can run away and leave you anytime Please don't tell me no the plans for my life I could run away and leave you here to stay inside Dreaming I'm so tired of all these obscurations oh my God. I'm ready to walk right out that door I never wanted a single thing for my life All I wanted was to know that I, I never wasted my time Please don't tell me no the rules to Go by.

[Susie Burbank]

I can.

[Sean Dettore]

Run away and leave you anytime Please don't tell me know the plans for my life I could run away and leave Ancient tradition.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, you know, we get support for TBTL from the good people of Chateau St. Michel. I can feel, I can feel the excitement already building for this summer's concert series, including Huey Lewis and the News, who are going to be playing. That's going to be, that's gonna be a biggie this summer, you guys. Also, John Hyatt will be out there, I believe. Pretty sure, if memory serves. Also there will be, there will be music by Jeff Bridges playing the songs from the movie Crazy Heart. Lyle Lovett will be there. Of course. They're gonna tape A Prairie Home Companion out there. If you've not sat on the grass of the Chateau St. Michel Winery during one of their summer concert series, you have not, you've not lived here in the 206. So you might want to check that out. If you are somewhere else in the world and you just want to have delicious wine, head into your local grocery store, your wine shop, and look for Chateau St. Michel. You can also order their stuff online and have it shipped to your state. If you live in an awesome state by going to tbtl.net and then going over to the right side of the page where they have a button that will connect you to their website, Chateau St. Michel. They're the official wine sponsor of TBTL. Because if there is one thing we're official about, it is it's our wine. Alright, welcome back to the tbtl. Very exciting. I just got done doing an interview before tonight's Today's show. Is it day or night?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It's midday.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Before this midday show, I got done taping an interview with this guy, Paul Feig. He's the director of Bridesmaids and he also was the creator of Freaks and Geeks. And he actually directed the final Michael Scott episode of the Office. And we talked about all of that stuff and he was incredibly kind. And I have to say, like, if you're trying to decide on a movie to go to this weekend, you should go to Bridesmaids just so this guy Paul Feig will get the props he deserves. Because as he explains in the interview, which you'll hear tomorrow when we play it, everything he's ever created has lost money. And he says he kind of can't believe they keep letting him make things. And so, so he was, and I asked him what he was going to be doing on Friday because that's the big, the Day that the movie opens. And he gave me a very funny answer, which I'll save for the actual interview, but that's going to come up on tomorrow's show. In the meantime, why did I unplug that phone and take it off of the thing that was supposed to play? The other thing I needed. My dad called me during that music break, by the way, because, you know, he listens and. And I love it. You would think that that's just because it's a podcast, you know, and it's kind of a moving target, but no. My mom often calls me between nine and noon. I'd say about two times a week. My mom calls me in the middle of the show. And I think. It's not like. I mean, what I could do is I could get you one of those dry erase calendars and I could just mark each day, mom, for you what nine to noon is and when. That means your son is hosting a radio show. But anyway, without further ado, how about we do some awesome not awesome, sometimes not awesome, like my dad, me, during the thing.

[Susie Burbank]

Not awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

Not bad. Not bad, Little delay, but not bad.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, but most of the time, I gotta say, it's pretty awesome indeed.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's how awesome not awesome works. We tell you about stories that are awesome, other ones that fall more in the not awesome category. If the story is awesome, we will play this thing. If the story is of the not awesome variety, we will play this thing. So. So there you go. That's the. You know, it's not awesome. It's microphone. Jeez Louise, I gotta stop. I have that. People can see this on the webcam. I have that obsessive moving around of the microphone. Did I do that when we were a real radio show, too?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. Yeah, you did it. Yeah, you did.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a weird.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I do it too. It's like.

[Susie Burbank]

It's like I hated it. Remember I used to complain you and Sean.

[Luke Burbank]

But people remember there wasn't there a protest there? Movement when Sean stopped squeaking his microphone.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I love holding it and moving it. I learned it from watching you, Dad. I learned it from watching you.

[Luke Burbank]

Who taught you to do that? Yeah, it's an. I don't know why. It's like a nervous tic. It's because I want the. I guess I want the position to be correct. But I'm kind of moving around a lot.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You know what? I like nervous tics. Because that way you always know when one is lying to you.

[Luke Burbank]

When a person is lying to you.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

No. A little tick.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, My God, a little creature.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

The little creature. The parasite.

[Luke Burbank]

Nervous tick.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

The parasite. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Tick.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That's nervous.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's good. That's great. Hey, by the way, let me just throw that in for a moment. So here's some awesome. Not awesome stuff. This was a story, I think, in the Wall Street Journal. Today schools are getting rid apparently of this designation in the yearbook, Most likely to succeed, because they feel that it is too much pressure on the person who is picked as most likely to succeed. And they kind of profile this 38 year old woman, I believe, who. There's a sentence in this piece. I don't have it right in front of me, but I read it this morning where it says, despite the fact that she makes six figures and has traveled the world, so and so says she can't help but measure herself every day by the question, have I lived up to my most likely to succeed title? And so schools are now getting rid of this because it's basically too much pressure. Awesome or not awesome.

[Susie Burbank]

I actually, I gave this some thought today because I think that the kind of people who would win most likely to succeed are the kind of people who would feel that kind of pressure. Because for all of us who would never have won that or even been in the running for it.

[Luke Burbank]

I see you winning that. I could see you winning that. Jen. Oh, God. Touch the mic. Sorry. I was voted most likely to touch the microphone.

[Susie Burbank]

Well, what I really, really wanted to win for some reason I really wanted to win best car, which also is a ridiculous category.

[Luke Burbank]

That's in there. That was a thing at Jesus Creek, wasn't it? There was best hair, which I won best. Ha.

[Susie Burbank]

But I really wanted. I didn't want best hair, I wanted best car. And the problem is. So the mummy's big brother was in my class.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, the cat killer.

[Susie Burbank]

Yes. He has this like beater, 80s Plymouth.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the cat killer is black.

[Susie Burbank]

And it's not black because he had it painted black by people who paint with, with car paint. It was actually painted black. Like he got done painting his basement cellar torture room.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, right. It had leftover paint, which he had. And by the way, that guy who did that, who also pointed a loaded shotgun once at me and the mummy. What, just because he was like this would be funny? He is now apparently the nicest. The mummy says the nicest person on the face of the earth, he totally grew up. He just looks like Teddy Roosevelt. He's got a nice little belly and a mustache and those wire room glasses and he's apparently. But man you wouldn't have known it in high school. This guy was terrifying.

[Susie Burbank]

But yeah, he also. By the way, in first grade, I peed my pants in class because Ms. Robinson wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. And he outed me to the whole class that I had peed my pants. And then he wrote it in my senior year yearbook. Remember the time you peed your pants?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Psycho Doyle Rules from Billy Madison. How it goes.

[Susie Burbank]

He just held onto that information for 12 years and then wrote it in my yearbook. But anyway, not only did he have this absolutely crappiest car you've ever seen that was painted with not real car paint, black. Then as a joke, he wrote on the side, cat Killer, and then had little notch marks. And that's what won Best Claw.

[Luke Burbank]

That is not a joke.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That is awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

I once got a ride. Sean's willing to go with awesome on that.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

On that part.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. One time I had to get a ride home from soccer practice with him because, like, there were no parents to pick me up. And so he was driving, and I have never been. So I was, you know, 12 years old. And I remember someone was taking a left, like, a few hundred feet ahead of us. And we were driving. They were taking a left in front of us, like in traffic, coming the opposite direction. I remember him saying, hit me. I need the money. And me just thinking, well, we're gonna die. He's gonna hit this car. He needs the money. Clearly, this car is not painted properly. He's killed many cats.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You know about this. The high schools taking away the most likely to succeed. I think I've got two thoughts on this One, what about the kids that were, you know, maybe voted Best Smile or Best Whatever? If somebody happens to get into a face accident when they get older and then their SM not revoked, it's kind of like. Well, they feel like a lot of pressure, but do they?

[Susie Burbank]

That's the thing I'm saying. I'm not sure that those monikers bring that kind of pressure.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Because that's what I'm kind of saying, though, is like, it's stupid to take it out because then you've got all these other kids that are gonna have pressure. No, I don't think so. Maybe they should just take away everything. Because what about the kids like me who was most likely to do nothing? I didn't get picked for anything, but, I mean, a lot of kids.

[Luke Burbank]

So you made up an award.

[Susie Burbank]

An award.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That wasn't an award.

[Luke Burbank]

I see. That was one you. You laminated. You made it at Kinko's Most Likely to do nothing, which would be ironic because that very thing is doing something right. So you would have then had to turn the award in to do something. I didn't get any of those awards because, well, I don't know if I would have gotten one anyway. But Jesus Creek closed when I was a junior, and then when I was a senior, I went to a new school and I was totally off everyone's radar there. In fact, they. You know, there was a deal, like a requirement that seniors had to be in the yearbook, like, two or three times, I guess, because they thought, you know, they wanted to make sure everybody was included. And at one point they had to come take. Pull me out of class and make me pose with, like, an absence slip in the hallway just so I could fill. I would technically fill the requirement of how many times I was supposed to be in the yearbook. Like, I was getting, like, you know, affirmative action yearbook photography where they just kind of, like, gave me, you know, a freebie just because I was only in, like, one other picture. The point being, nobody was. Yep.

[Susie Burbank]

Well, there's something that's. There. There is a distinction here, though, to what Sean is saying that I wanted to get to, which is that if you're voted best hair or smile or something like that, friendliest, that's about who you are right then. And most likely to succeed is something about who you're going to become.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That's a good point.

[Susie Burbank]

And I think that is a tremendous amount of pressure for the kind of person who would garner that kind of accolade, I think, for that kind of person. Because success, of course, is subjective, and who's to say who's successful? But if every time you see somebody from your high school, they're going to be like, wow, whatever became of you most likely to succeed? Well, if you work in a bank and you're, you know, happily married, that's great. But it doesn't seem like it lives up to the pressure of Most Likely to succeed, this future thing that you're supposed to be so much better than everyone else. So I think it's awesome myself that they're going to get rid of that a lot of schools.

[Luke Burbank]

So you think that, like, even though it doesn't really mean anything, it's enough. It drops into the sort of conscious and also, I guess, the subconscious enough that it's the kind of thing that really does stay with you in a weird way, even though we can all agree that it's meaningless. Even this woman in the article agrees it's meaningless, but she sort of can't not think about it.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

But who did the study on this? Did somebody do a study and like, research kids who have graduated with most most likely to succeed and then say, well, 20% of the kids ended up as bums, you know what I mean?

[Susie Burbank]

It wasn't on Facebook, but it was on something like that. Some kind of high school meetup website is where they did the study.

[Luke Burbank]

Friend. Which was voted most likely to be discontinued after other better platforms come along. So a lot of that stuff is surprisingly accurate. I mean, I honestly think they should kind of get rid of all of them because. Because, like, first of all, best body. That's appropriate. That was a category at Nathan Hale when I was there. My friend Ben got it. Best body.

[Susie Burbank]

I agree. Get rid of all of it.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what's interesting? Ben also started there his senior year.

[Susie Burbank]

So he somehow got on the radar.

[Luke Burbank]

So, yeah, actually, now that I think.

[Susie Burbank]

Of it, with his awesome body, it.

[Luke Burbank]

Was quite a body.

[Susie Burbank]

I think we have the key.

[Luke Burbank]

It continues to be quite a body. No, seriously, that's. But he was very popular and he got. I have always attributed not being popular with that school to the fact that I got there my senior year. But he was highly popular and he also got there his senior year. I have no excuse. I'm gonna give that a serious, not awesome.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. I feel bad, Jennifer. I feel bad dashing everyone's hopes on this and spoiling things. But we have the results back. The early results of the New Yorker caption contest that we told everybody to enter last week. Or is it two weeks ago?

[Susie Burbank]

It was two weeks ago that the finalists came out on Sunday because we were.

[Luke Burbank]

Come on, stay with me. Microphone. Hello, hello, Hello. It's a really, really professional operation they're running here.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Maybe we should give that hamster another piece of carrot.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, he's flagging, isn't he? Roger Ebert actually got into the. He won the New Yorker caption contest after like 100 and something tries. And so we thought that because we're interested in this contest too, we should have everybody enter and see if we could. Because if we had 1,000 people do it, that really helps our chances of having some representative of TBTL get in. So, flash, you've looked at the results. How many would you. Is it like a three way race between different tens, I assume.

[Susie Burbank]

I am not in the running. Nor are any tens.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Susie Burbank]

Yes. The three finalists are not tens.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, let me just. Let me set it up for people. Do you have it in front of you by any chance?

[Susie Burbank]

I do.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so the setup is. It's a kind of. I think it's like a lady, right? She looks like sort of like a mom in her 50s. Or it could be a lumberjack who's.

[Susie Burbank]

Just wears capri pants. You don't know? I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

And she's cut down a ton of these giant trees, and she's sort of looking back towards this road behind her, and there are still maybe, like, four or five trees left that she hasn't cut down. And she's saying something. Is that a kind of accurate? And then what are the captions that made it in.

[Susie Burbank]

It's painful for me to even say this first one, because it's a pun, which I can't stand. I came, I sawed, I conquered.

[Luke Burbank]

That's pretty. Pretty bad.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, man. That I. Puns. I don't know about them. I do not know about them.

[Susie Burbank]

All right, the second one. That one was asking for it. I know.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not good. Okay, what's the third one?

[Susie Burbank]

I must find the tree that killed my father. So listener Rob sent me this article from Wired about how to win this thing, and they said there's four things you have to keep in mind. Novelty, brevity. They don't like a lot of punctuation and abstractness. So because that I must find the tree that killed my father. That's very abstract.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. My problem there is that I would say, like, hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. I go for specificity in my comedy.

[Susie Burbank]

But I'm not letting it get me down. I entered the new one today, and I hope all the other tens will too. I entered again.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Well, you know what's funny is the whole weekend in Chicago, people were coming up to us and telling us what their entries had been.

[Susie Burbank]

It was awesome. So I hope people will try again.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I'm gonna try this.

[Susie Burbank]

Have you be in this for the long haul. Sean, you could seriously win, because they love puns.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I've never tried this before. What is this New Yorker you speak of?

[Luke Burbank]

But do you know what this caption contest is?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. So, yeah, you should do it. It's online. You could do it while you're online, while you're giving them all four.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh, my God. That's gonna take up a good hour.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I didn't even enter it. I think my joke for that one was gonna be, oh, I forget now. Jen, you had a good one, though. What was yours?

[Susie Burbank]

Two more, and we can Reprint Underworld.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Now, that's a good one.

[Luke Burbank]

See, that's. I can't. This thing might be rigged. It might be rigged. Okay, so we're gonna give that an odd awesome, but everybody continuing trying. That's gonna get an awesome.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, the long run, as the Eagles would say. Or actually just Eagles. There's no the good.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm glad to know that. So we've got time for one more story here. Flash, we're gonna lose Sean in a minute here.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Am I dying?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Susie Burbank]

Okay, then I want the Rob Lowe one.

[Luke Burbank]

It's hard to tell you this way. It's like a guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor says, I'm sorry, Sir, you have 10 to live. 10 left, and the doctor's like, nine.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh, now, that could be a caption. That could have been the caption for the trees, Rob.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, you want to talk Rob Lowe?

[Susie Burbank]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so this is. You came on the show recently, Flash, and you said that you were really upset because the bin Laden story was stealing Rob Lowe's thunder, because Rob Lowe had a book out and it wasn't getting its due. But now, well, like, a bunch of.

[Susie Burbank]

His appearances were canceled because they had to do news coverage.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, but Rob Lowe, his book is doing well, right?

[Susie Burbank]

Yes, it is at number three today.

[Luke Burbank]

So you've described that parenthetically as the Andrews Bump.

[Susie Burbank]

Yep, yep. You're welcome. Rob, I love you so much that I was willing to lend my name to you.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you know what's above it?

[Susie Burbank]

Oh, the book about the Navy seals. Oh, we should have talked about this. This guy writes a book about Navy SEALs.

[Luke Burbank]

About Team Six, specifically.

[Susie Burbank]

Yes. And then this happens, like, right at the exact same time that book came out. It's the most amazing coincidence. And now he's gonna be a billionaire.

[Luke Burbank]

Coincidence, Flash.

[Susie Burbank]

I know. It's gotta. He has to know the Rock at least. And the. Not country superstar Keith Urban.

[Luke Burbank]

The Rock tweeted him, and then he wrote, in the matter of 12 minutes, an entire book on team six.

[Susie Burbank]

And then there's some new diet out that I've never even heard of that's getting tons of.

[Luke Burbank]

That's interesting, because Tina Fey said on Saturday Night Live this weekend that she had the number one book in America.

[Susie Burbank]

Oh, she might be number. Oh, that would be. Oh, yeah. No, you're right, you're right, you're right.

[Luke Burbank]

But, I mean, there are all kinds of different lists, and it's interesting because, you know, best sellers are not what best sellers once were. I mean, not taking anything away from Tina Fey or anybody else. But if you sell. I don't know what the exact number is, but 20,000 books, 30,000 books, you're like, you're dominating now because of all the different ways that people can read things and digital stuff and everything. But we're glad to hear that Rob Lowe, because as we really point out on the show, Rob Lowe's had it rough. He's overcome physical deformity, called being the most beautiful man who's ever lived. And then the New York Times savaged his book, by which we mean wrote a really nice review of it. So it's like, glad to see he needed me.

[Susie Burbank]

We could tell.

[Luke Burbank]

Glad to see that things are finally breaking his way. We'll give that an awesome. All right, time for our. We might actually get this whole thing in with Sean still here.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Wow.

[Susie Burbank]

I know, it's amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

We're going to have to go kind of fast, but it's time for. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool thing we do on Wednesdays where we tell you about things that are pretty cool and. Well, this is pretty cool. Let me. Hold on, Flash. I've got a. Got drum roll here. People are trying to speculate over on the website about what this big announcement is. Jen, what is this? What's this big announcement today? That's pretty cool.

[Susie Burbank]

Tomorrow morning, Jason and I are getting in our car and heading west to come home to Seattle.

[Luke Burbank]

What? Are you kidding me?

[Susie Burbank]

Yes. Very excited. We miss our hometown a lot. And the architecture project that Jason's working on is at a good point right now where he can leave it. And so we're gonna. He's gonna telecommute, I guess is the best way to put it, from Seattle for the summer. And we're hoping that that will work out, but for sure, we're coming home for the summer.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my goodness. Super cool, Flash. I am gonna miss Skype, though, so much. I'm gonna miss.

[Susie Burbank]

I know. I think it was really your announcement of the Huey Lewis concert that was the final straw. I looked at Jason and was like, I have to be there.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh. Well, just. I mean, you wouldn't miss a chance to propose to Lyle Lovett from the audience, which is another thing to do.

[Susie Burbank]

No, I do that every year at San Michelle.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Jen, this is pretty cool. This is beyond pretty cool. It's going to really. It's going to. Well, for one thing, I'll stop playing the drops at 0% audio levels, but it's going to be great because. Because we're going to be able to have you actually at Burrow Productions, and we're going to be able to utilize your amazing skills, BO staff skills, ninja star skills, nunchuck skills. And also it means hopefully that we can plan a couple of fun Seattle things too, like we used to do in the olden days.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That'd be fun.

[Luke Burbank]

So, Jen, it is really, really exciting to have you back. That is beyond pretty cool. Now, my pretty cool seems kind of lame by comparison, but it's just. Yep, it's pretty cool. I thought if I turned the volume up, that would compensate for the fact that it's pretty lame. But you know how I bought the New Yorker? I bought my iPad largely so I could read the New Yorker on there, only to find out that even if you subscribe to the New Yorker, it was $5 per digital issue. But this weekend, the New Yorker relented, or I would say bowed to my demands. Because if you get the New Yorker delivered to your house, it is now you can get it for free on your iPad.

[Susie Burbank]

That is a huge deal. That's awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

That doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but it kind of is because for one thing, you can get the New Yorker for, like, pennies on the dollar. If you tell them that you're a journalist, they'll give it to you for, like, seriously 50 cents an issue. So that's one thing I'd say everyone tell them you're a journalist because we want to run them out of business. Well, if you have a blog or something. No, but you can get the New Yorker for really cheap if you get the little card from the paper like you get off, you know, if you subscribe, so you don't even have to pay $5 an issue for it. And then you get the free thing on the iPad. And then it's really. For me, it's a very exciting thing. I was lying in bed. I'm really liking this iPad. I was lying in bed and I was reading the magazine, and for one thing, it's illuminated. You don't have to have the lights on because I always have a thing where. Because I don't have a nightlight like a lamp by my bed, which is un. Pretty cool. And so I can't read things unless I have the overhead light on. And then I have to get up and turn it off or I fall asleep. And then I have first world problems. Anyway, so I'm excited about that. I would describe that as pretty cool. You know what else is pretty cool is that this week on the mixtape, Sean you have quite a. You have quite a plan ready to go. I understand. Right.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I have quite a plan. While in Chicago, I bought a mystery bag of 10 techno records. And so I'm gonna bring in my record player and play different hot cuts from each of those records for this week's mixtape.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounds great. So people can get that. That goes up on Friday afternoon.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, it'll be up on Friday.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Sean, you better go, dude. You have to be.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I have a minute 15.

[Susie Burbank]

Oh, my gosh. Run.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Thanks, Shawnie.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Peace out, players.

[Luke Burbank]

Play on, playa.

[Susie Burbank]

You guys are so heavy.

[Luke Burbank]

We are with the high fiving and the saying, player. Well, let's see. I guess that's it. Short but sweet today, which is great.

[Susie Burbank]

I have one little piece of sad news.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no, really? Okay.

[Susie Burbank]

The Rimrock on Lake City Way, the site of my Mustang Sally debacle.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Susie Burbank]

Has closed down. It's gone.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Was announced this week. And by announced, I mean they put the world's most bizarre sign on the door that said we're closing, as in not enough customers, thank you in quotes. We love you in quotes. And then love you and like, underlined in a different font. It was a note written by someone who has never seen the inside of a typewriter or an English book. But the message was received loud and clear. Yeah. The Rimrock is closed. Although there are rumors that it's still for sale. So if somebody is smart and has a couple hundred thousand bucks, they should pick that thing up. It's already got a built in client base.

[Susie Burbank]

Totally.

[Luke Burbank]

And also not a bad steak for nine bucks. Nope. So that is a sad, that is. Tonight I'm going to pour some out. Pour some out for the rim rock because it was a Seattle legend. Now we're going to be forced just to go to the Lake City Bar and Grill, which has, without a doubt, the world's most unlucky pull tabs. Don't play them tens. If you go to the Lake City Bar and Grill, do not play the pull tabs. They're all losers. Just so you know, this is a public service, Jen, that we provide here.

[Susie Burbank]

I know, it's great.

[Luke Burbank]

Basically we, you know, tell people where the hot pull tabs are and where the cold ones are. And that's where some of the cold ones are. Well, Jennifer cannot wait to have you back in the. Back in the comfortable confines of Seattle, Washington. So you're gonna leave tomorrow morning. You'll be on the road. You'll be checking in from the road periodically. And then you'll be back in late. Late May, I guess. You'll be back in Seattle.

[Susie Burbank]

Well, because I'm a granny, I have to be off the road by about.

[Luke Burbank]

You know you refuse to wear your glasses, right? You can't drive at night.

[Susie Burbank]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Susie Burbank]

Well, vanity is troubling sometimes.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is exciting times, Jen. That's gonna do it on this Wednesday. We'll be back here tomorrow with this interview with Paul Feig, director of Bridesmaids. And a bunch more imaginary radio for you. And then Friday, we'll check in with Jen from the road. Until then, have a great Wednesday. Remember, no mountain too tall.

[Susie Burbank]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Indeed.