Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #944: "We Couldn't Love Almonds Any More"

Release Date: November 3, 2011

Hosts: Luke Burbank and Jen Flash Andrews

1. Introduction and Show Segments

The episode kicks off with humorous banter as Luke commemorates his deceased cat’s birthday, setting a lighthearted tone. The hosts introduce the day’s segments, including a recap of the previous episode’s Top Chef review and the return of the TBTL Debate Club. They also announce a new segment titled "Stop Making Us Do This," where they reluctantly discuss topics they’d rather avoid.

Luke Burbank [00:00]: "Today is his birthday, and it is a tradition that on his birthday I get up extra early and make him his favorite kind of dessert."

2. Introducing Low-Carb Almonds

Sean Detorre joins the conversation, enthusiastically presenting a new almond product dipped in lime and chili peppers with only two carbs per 28 almonds. The hosts discuss the product’s appeal, debating its health benefits and potential downsides like high MSG content.

Sean Detorre [02:12]: "Well, these are almonds that have been dipped in lime and chili peppers. They only have two carbs for 28 of them."

Luke Burbank [02:42]: "That's amazing. Although, does that have a lot of, like, maybe MSG in it?"

3. Sal and Francis: The Improvised CD

Suzy Burbank, Luke’s mother, shares a creative endeavor where she and a friend emulated the Saturday Night Live characters Sal and Francis to produce an improvised music CD. The segment includes humorous excerpts from their songs, highlighting their playful interaction.

Suzy Burbank [14:31]: "It's Our Lives."

Jen Flash Andrews [15:56]: "I bet you didn't know your pinchers. They have effect on me and my heart."

4. Critique of Soccer and the Sounders Game

Luke and Sean delve into a critical analysis of soccer, particularly focusing on a Sounders match against Salt Lake. Luke expresses his disapproval of the sport’s perceived lack of "manliness" due to tactics like stalling and faking injuries, contrasting it with the integrity seen in football.

Luke Burbank [06:36]: "I don't think soccer is a manly sport."

Sean Detorre [08:31]: "Soccer is not a manly sport, but it is played by men. It is an unmanly sport played by men."

5. Top Chef and Its Impact on Chefs

The hosts transition to a discussion on Top Chef, critiquing how the show may contribute to unrealistic expectations among young chefs. They recount an incident where a contestant was swiftly booted from the competition for mishandling meat preparation, highlighting the show’s stringent standards.

Sean Detorre [24:21]: "Top Chef has turned all these young chefs in America into people who think that they just need to get on Top Chef, and then they deserve their own restaurant."

Luke Burbank [24:32]: "He's using a nail gun at one point to try to put together his amuse bouche."

6. Kardashian Divorce and Kris Jenner’s Controversy

A heated segment addresses Kris Jenner’s use of the offensive phrase “Indian giver” concerning Kim Kardashian’s divorce. The hosts express their disapproval of the term and its cultural insensitivity, debating its implications and the necessity for an apology.

Sean Detorre [29:09]: "Dear Kris Jenner, that phrase is so offensive and so misunderstanding of so many things."

Luke Burbank [30:27]: "But she recorded it for herself. It's like when Sue Sylvester married herself."

7. Debate Club: Laundry Room Etiquette

Listener Alyssa from Milwaukee poses a dilemma about using shared laundry facilities when others have seemingly reserved machines by leaving their laundry baskets. The Debate Club segment sees Luke arguing against Alyssa’s approach, emphasizing social conventions and the importance of respecting shared spaces.

Alyssa’s Issue [35:17]: "Is it okay to use the washing machine even if somebody else has, quote, reserved it?"

Luke Burbank [37:03]: "No, it's not okay. We live in a world that is based on reserving things."

Sean Detorre [39:48]: "It's totally okay to put your laundry in a washing machine, just even if somebody else has reserved it."

8. Survivor’s Ethan Zahn and His Battle with Cancer

The hosts highlight the inspirational story of Ethan Zahn, a Survivor Australia winner and former top-flight soccer player, who is currently battling a recurrence of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. They discuss his positive outlook and the mysterious process of his stem cell transplant, pondering why the matching donor wasn’t disclosed.

Sean Detorre [51:18]: "He's a total warrior kind of guy. So he's facing it with a very positive attitude."

Luke Burbank [52:30]: "Why would you… Why would the doctors not tell him which sibling was the match?"

9. Unearthed Michael Jackson Song on Drug Abuse

A surprising revelation brings forth a previously unnoticed Michael Jackson song addressing drug abuse, specifically mentioning Demerol. The hosts play excerpts of the song, analyzing its lyrical content and discussing its relevance to Jackson’s personal struggles and legal battles.

Sean Detorre [54:35]: "It's a song about Demerol and, and about being addicted to Demerol."

Luke Burbank [56:08]: "If you're able to see the reason that I can never be a songwriter is because I'm too self-critical about that kind of stuff."

10. Chateau St. Michel Wine Tasting Event

Concluding the episode, Luke and Sean promote the Chateau St. Michel wine tasting events happening across the country, detailing the featured wines and encouraging listeners to participate. They also share personal anecdotes about past events and express appreciation for the host venue, Neptune Coffee.

Sean Detorre [49:06]: "The 2008 Columbia Valley Syrah, the 2009 Indian Wells Merlot, and the 2008 Columbia Valley Cabernet."

Luke Burbank [50:16]: "If you have a chance to return the love to Neptune, please do buy a T-shirt, do the whole thing."

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank [00:12]: "We're actually not allowed to use hurtful language like that in TBTL Debate Club."

• Sean Detorre [05:14]: "I saw that, though, and I thought people who weren't listening back then when I told that story."

• Luke Burbank [37:36]: "You have to be able to spot who the sucker is in the first 15 minutes, you're the sucker."

• Sean Detorre [56:43]: "That's crazy, right? We skipped right over it because I…"

Conclusion

Episode #944 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of humor, critical discussions, and heartfelt stories. From dissecting the nuances of shared laundry etiquette to exploring the depth of personal battles with illness, the hosts navigate a variety of topics with their characteristic camaraderie and wit. Listeners are treated to engaging conversations, memorable quotes, and insightful commentary, making this episode a rich addition to the daily show’s repertoire.