Episode #946

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #946 Summary

Released on November 7, 2011

Hosts: Luke Burbank and Jen Andrews
Show Description: TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends navigating the world with humor and camaraderie. In Episode #946, Luke and Jen delve into various topics ranging from listener interactions to international news, all sprinkled with their characteristic wit.

---

Listener Beefs and Community Interactions

Time Stamp: 01:07

Luke opens the episode by addressing recent "listener beefs," emphasizing the importance of resolving conflicts swiftly to maintain a positive show environment. He remarks,

“We don't usually like to beef with the listeners, but we got a few...”
(01:27)

Jen shares her frustrations with a listener upset about their coverage of hooliganism at soccer matches. She states,

“If it's real, if it's actually happening, we're allowed to talk about it.”
(06:14)

Key Points:

• Resolving Listener Conflicts: Luke and Jen prioritize addressing listener concerns early in the show.
• Coverage of Hooliganism: Jen defends their reporting on soccer hooliganism, highlighting the necessity of discussing real events despite some listeners' objections.

---

Andy Rooney’s Passing and TBTL’s Take

Time Stamp: 04:05

The hosts discuss the passing of Andy Rooney, addressing unexpected backlash on social media where some listeners seemingly linked their lack of appreciation for Rooney’s work to his demise.

Luke clarifies,

“Andy Rooney passed away because he was 92 years old, not because some podcast that no one listens to said they didn't love his commentaries.”
(04:05)

Jen adds,

“Not liking someone's work or their art is not akin to wishing them dead.”
(04:34)

Key Points:

• Clarifying Misconceptions: Luke and Jen debunk the notion that their disinterest in Rooney’s commentary contributed to his passing.
• Respecting Artistic Differences: They emphasize that disliking someone's work doesn't equate to ill wishes for the individual.

---

Upcoming Comedy Event at Odd Duck Theater

Time Stamp: 11:17

Luke announces his upcoming comedy performance at Odd Duck Theater in Seattle alongside Scott Moran and Mark Normand. He humorously warns listeners about the potential repetition of their Andy Rooney segment, saying,

“Because I didn't know this was happening until somebody posted it on my Facebook page.”
(11:17)

Jen humorously comments on the optimal number of attendees,

“Didn't we figure out once that the worst number is nine?”
(12:14)

Key Points:

• Event Details: Luke is performing with fellow comedians Scott Moran and Mark Normand.
• Expectations: The show will feature recycled jokes and may include playful meta-performance elements.

---

International News Desk

Time Stamp: 13:41

The hosts introduce a new segment covering international news, touching on various global topics.

Matt Lauer’s Global Adventures

Jen reports Matt Lauer’s week-long surprise global locations, mentioning his time with the Himba tribe in Namibia. She shares insights into their unique bathing practices,

“They wrap a blanket around themselves, and they let the smoke cleanse their bodies.”
(14:06)

Carmen Sandiego Movie Rumors

Luke discusses reports of Jennifer Lopez producing and possibly starring in a live-action Carmen Sandiego movie. He expresses skepticism and nostalgia for the original theme song,

“If Rockapella doesn't make an appearance, I will be really upset.”
(17:21)

D'Antwod’s Label Dispute

Jen covers D'Antwod’s conflict with Interscope over their album "Tension$," which was deemed "not releasable" due to explicit content. The band is opting to self-release digitally,

“CDs are like motherfucking VHS.”
(23:07)

Switzerland’s Guinea Pig Welfare Laws

Jen highlights Switzerland’s new law making it illegal to own only one guinea pig to prevent loneliness, explaining the workaround of renting a second guinea pig,

“You could get into this loop of having to constantly buy a guinea pig when the one dies.”
(27:12)

Key Points:

• Matt Lauer’s Locations: Matt is traveling globally, providing cultural insights each day.
• Carmen Sandiego Movie: Potential live-action adaptation with Jennifer Lopez could reintroduce the beloved franchise.
• D'Antwod’s Independence: The band’s decision to self-release underscores challenges artists face with major labels.
• Animal Welfare: Switzerland’s innovative approach to guinea pig companionship reflects broader animal welfare concerns.

---

Musical Interlude

Time Stamp: 31:02

The Long Winters perform a snippet of their song “Pushover,” adding melodic ambiance to the episode. The performance blends seamlessly into the ongoing discussions, maintaining the show’s dynamic flow.

---

Granny Time Segment

Time Stamp: 33:03

Granny Time is Jen’s weekly segment addressing personal anecdotes and listener interactions.

Penmanship Woes

Jen vents her frustration with article aggregators leading her to repeatedly read the same New York Times articles,

“I can only read 20 articles a month and I very closely monitor that situation.”
(34:10)

Luke humorously reflects on his own poor handwriting,

“A few people got posters where there's my signature, then it's crossed out.”
(37:14)

Key Points:

• Article Aggregation Issues: Jen struggles with redundant article links from aggregators, impacting her reading limit.
• Handwriting Challenges: Both hosts share stories about their poor penmanship and its real-world consequences.

New York City Marathon Discussion

The hosts debate the potential addition of a second marathon day to accommodate more runners. Luke expresses concerns that it might dilute the event’s prestige,

“Having two days would cheapen it a little bit.”
(40:42)

Jen argues about the significance of pacing in marathon records, specifically referencing Paula Radcliffe’s achievements,

“To me, that's cheating on some level. It shouldn't count as an official record.”
(43:50)

Key Points:

• Second Marathon Day: Considerations on whether expanding the marathon would enhance accessibility or diminish its status.
• Pacing in Records: Ethical debate on whether having a designated pacer affects the legitimacy of marathon records.

Listener Email: Navigating New Neighborhood Socials

Jen reads an email from a listener, Andy, seeking advice on hosting gatherings as vegetarians and teetotalers in a new neighborhood. She empathizes with their predicament,

“How do we invite people over when they will be expecting a fun night to include us partaking with them in the drinking?”
(46:14)

Luke offers creative solutions,

“Take a vegan cooking class, first of all...”
(47:05)

Key Points:

• Social Hosting Challenges: Balancing personal dietary and lifestyle choices while fostering new friendships.
• Practical Advice: Suggestions include finding like-minded communities and hosting environments that accommodate their preferences without imposing.

Chateau St. Michel Sweet Berry Wine Tasting Updates

Jen shares updates on the ongoing Chateau St. Michel Sweet Berry wine tasting events across the country, highlighting gatherings in Montana and Iowa. She teases upcoming events,

“The Philly gathering is going to be on Friday at 6:30 at Eddie's house.”
(52:03)

Luke encourages listeners to participate, pointing them to the show’s website for more information,

“Check out tbtl.net for the latest on all that stuff.”
(52:35)

Key Points:

• Community Engagement: Multiple wine tasting events foster community interaction and appreciation for Chateau St. Michel wines.
• Event Participation: Listeners are encouraged to join local gatherings and stay updated via the podcast’s online platform.

---

Conclusion

Time Stamp: 53:02

Luke wraps up the episode by thanking listeners and encouraging continued participation in upcoming events,

“We’ll be back here tomorrow of course, with much more imaginary radio for you until we see you again.”
(53:02)

Closing Remarks:

• Appreciation: Gratitude towards the audience for their support and engagement.
• Future Content: Promise of more engaging discussions and events in upcoming episodes.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Andrews on listener frustrations:

  “This really bugs me because of course I'm monitoring how many articles I've read because I can't read more than 20.”
  (34:10)

• Luke Burbank on penmanship:

  “I have really my handwriting. My penmanship was never great, but it is atrophied to a ridiculous degree now.”
  (37:36)

• Jen Andrews on hosting challenges:

  “How do we invite people over when they will be expecting a fun night to include us partaking with them in the drinking?”
  (46:14)

---

This episode of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live showcases Luke and Jen’s ability to blend humor with insightful discussions, addressing both personal anecdotes and broader societal issues. From navigating listener relationships to dissecting international news, the hosts maintain a relatable and engaging dialogue, ensuring listeners gain both entertainment and thoughtful perspectives.

Transcript

[Jen Andrews]

Peter, you've been fiddling with that ham.

[Luke Burbank]

Radio for seven weeks. Take a shower. I can barely get any reception on this stupid thing. So far, the only station that comes in is some British guys reading news from places I'm not sure exist.

[Jen Andrews]

Today in Kazikistan, a peaceful demonstration turned to bloodshed as members of the Tuzili tribe flooded Kinpow Square in remembrance of the third anniversary of the Hornsburg massacre. But finally, some good news out of neighboring Kanduzi as locals there have reached an uneasy alliance with the bordering trollica Bubsy wubsy dahl. And now with sports, here's framtle Tromwibler. From the world of sport, the coynton spinky Wampas flumped The flowing Boeing Welfenclompers 70 fluff to 40 flabe. At the tone, the time will be 26 railroad. TBTM.

[Luke Burbank]

That is so weird that that's exactly, exactly the number of railroad at which we start this Monday afternoon edition of tb. This is the program that's probably too beautiful to live.

[Jen Andrews]

As soon as we get the case worked out here, I'm sure it's gonna be a great, great show.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, indeed. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. This is episode 946 in a collector's series, Dukes. I'm weighing in at 196 pounds. Double Dukes. Let's see, we've got. Man, we have a lot of stuff to try to get to today.

[Jen Andrews]

Hi, this is Luke's mom, Susie, coming tonight on tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

So we are going to move as quickly as possible, telling topics such as listener beefs that we've been battling all weekend. We don't usually like to beef with the listeners, but we got a few that we're just going to kind of like try to try to deal with quickly and at the top of the show so that we don't get weighed down with that stuff any longer. And bogged down maybe, is more what I mean to say. Also, it's Monday, so that means, ladies.

[Jen Andrews]

And gentlemen, she's in the house.

[Luke Burbank]

It's granny time. Jen will tell us about some of the granny time things that have been happening to her this week. And then also I'll tell you about jokes are really difficult, I must say some comedy jokes that I'll be telling tonight at Odd Duck Theater here in Seattle with some buddies of mine. First, though, speaking of Jen, Flash Andrews. I love Jesus, but I drink a little. Sitting right over there. We welcome her to the program now. Hello, Jennifer.

[Jen Andrews]

Hi.

[Luke Burbank]

How Is your Monday going so far?

[Jen Andrews]

Better than my weekend. I had never had a lynch mob after me before. It was, you know, nerve wracking.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. As a, you know, non escaped slave.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You've probably had the threat of lynching.

[Jen Andrews]

No, I didn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Even at almost zero in your life, at zero. I mean, honestly, that's a real. That's a lucky break for all of us.

[Jen Andrews]

I know. And yeah, I mean, you hear Pitchfork, but you don't think it's real until it happens to you.

[Luke Burbank]

Boy. Okay, so here, here's what Jen is alluding to. As you all know, over the weekend, Andy Rooney passed away. I found this out not because of the New York Times or Google News, because I immediately received a flood of emails of Facebook postings of Twitter related comments. A lot of them, not all of them, but a lot of them saying, basically, I hope you're happy now. As if the fact that we weren't huge fans of Andy Rooney's commentary style, as if that were enough for us to have somehow killed him. And I thought, is that a real thing? Because as I said on Twitter, watch out, Nickelback. I mean, there are a lot of, a lot of people and a lot of performers who we have expressed our disinterest in their work and most of them are alive. The one who's not alive, Andy Rooney, taken so young in the prime of his almost middle 90s, Andy Rooney passed away because he was 92 years old, not because some podcast that no one listens to said they didn't love his commentaries.

[Jen Andrews]

I know, it was the oddest thing to have so many people relating me to this news story. I just couldn't. I've never had something like that happen before where some big news story happens and somehow I'm in the middle of it. I didn't understand it. So I also tweeted, you know, that not liking somebody's work or their art is not akin to wishing them dead or wishing them ill. Yeah, those are totally different things. It's like you have the stuff you like and you have the stuff you don't like, and that shouldn't be related to whether or not those people die.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Please find us any point in TBTL history where we said, boy, we hope Andy Rooney gets, like really sick. We hope he doesn't live for a lot longer. I mean, of course that was a thing we were hoping for. Also, the guy was 92. I mean, I feel like if you make it to 92 and you're in reasonably good health up until close to the end, you really hit the lottery. And so I don't want to sound like I'm not sad for his family, but I feel like I would take that deal in a minute. So it's not. It's. It's. It's not like we. We said something mean about Lady Di the night before, you know, her car accident or something. It's just we didn't like his commentary. So that's thing number one. The other thing was I gotta. I gotta just not. But somebody tweeted, is TBTL just gonna be a best of show now? And what I forgot about the way Twitter works is that if somebody tweets something to me or you, and we were both cc'd on it, we're the only ones who can see it. That and the people who follow whoever's, you know, saying something. Now, if it's Kanye, then there's, I don't know, 12 million people who see that Kanye is giving us a hard time.

[Jen Andrews]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But if it's.

[Jen Andrews]

If it's a non celebrity, if it's.

[Luke Burbank]

A normal person, it probably means 11 people, including their mom, will see that. They were asking what I thought was a kind of a snarky question. Then I responded, yeah, it is. So now you can stop listening. Win, win. And that person responded back. And then I responded back. And then, thankfully, that died down. But that was another beef that was going on over the week. Am I leaving any beefs out?

[Jen Andrews]

I was beefing with Sounders fans.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, right. Over, Over.

[Jen Andrews]

Over hooliganism. Because you reported on the game that you went to the match. Excuse me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Jen Andrews]

And so. And we talked about this kind of wannabe hooliganism that goes on, especially here in Seattle and in Portland. So this listener was upset that we had reported about it. And so my frustration was, you don't like it is one thing. It's not happening is another. So just because you don't like something that's going on at an event, it's going on. And I mean, we can, like, just pretend it's not happening or not discuss it or have it be a verboten topic. I just don't understand why. Why we would do that. If it's real, if it's actually happening, we're allowed to talk about it.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the other thing that's interesting is that I actually wasn't decrying the hooliganism. The quote, unquote hooliganism. I was saying, I wish the guys on the field would do less fake injuries. And I said, That I just thought there was an interesting disconnect between the chants that happened. That maybe it's a vocal minority, but it definitely is allowed when you're there that are like, you know, you suck, asshole, when the opposing goalkeeper kicks off. I actually was saying I kind of think that's fun and entertaining. And the way that they do the thing where they don't let the opponent fans leave until after the match because they don't want there to be a fight. I wasn't saying, though. My problem with soccer is that it's a bunch of hooligans. But we had a listener and one in particular who was apparently part of some movement that's trying to kind of point out that not all soccer fans are hooligans. But still, I mean, you're right, Jen. There's a difference between aspiring to have that happen and the reality of the situation, which is that there are a lot of people there that are really there and they're not there to fight. My point, I was not trying to characterize them as actual hooligans. I was saying they're like off brand hooligans. They all work at Amazon.

[Jen Andrews]

But I think the frustration for me was this is a show where we come in and we talk about something that happened to us last night.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Jen Andrews]

And if you don't like the thing that happened, I understand that. But I don't understand where you can say, please don't talk about that. It's like, but it happened. We get to talk about it. If I'm in a bar and a bar fight breaks out and you're part of the association to stop bar fighting, I applaud you. That's wonderful. But I was at a bar where a bar fight happened. So I get to tell that story.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Jen Andrews]

You know that. I think that was my frustration.

[Luke Burbank]

So we were just be.

[Jen Andrews]

It was. I think I was. I had been accused of murdering a 92 year old curudgeon.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

By like a lot of people again. So I was feeling, I think, very sensitive.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I've never seen you. I haven't seen you take to Twitter with a broadside like you did on. And you weren't wrong at all. But it was funny because it was like. I don't know what was like Saturday afternoon or something. You'd reached your.

[Jen Andrews]

I had reached.

[Luke Burbank]

Reached your limit.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, so listen, Beefs squashed listeners.

[Jen Andrews]

We love you, you love us.

[Luke Burbank]

I hope you all continue listening even if we were beefing with you over the weekend. Speaking of beefs, or near beefs.

[Jen Andrews]

I'll say.

[Luke Burbank]

What's up, dog? Over the weekend, I attended the UW Oregon football game, and I was worried that the intersection of alcohol on my part and not liking the Oregon football.

[Jen Andrews]

Team, the emotion of the end of Husky Stadium.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. And just the fact that the Huskies were probably going to lose. I had a bad feeling all that was going to intersect and cause me to, like, get into it with some people. I am really happy to announce that that did not happen. I avoided. I avoided any actual fighting, but, man, I came close to wanting to. When I showed up at the Rams sports bar before the game even started, we had called ahead by an hour to get our name on the list. We show up and they say, it's still an hour and a half wait. And there's this group of Oregon fans. They're sitting there waiting for their table. They're outside, and someone comes out and says, you know, whatever their party name was, they realize it's them. And one of the guys says, with zero irony. Winning. Oh, isn't that almost enough to get someone beat up? Yep. Just.

[Jen Andrews]

Yes, it is.

[Luke Burbank]

Someone's still saying that. Someone's saying that about getting their table at the Ram. Winning.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, it could have been Burn.

[Luke Burbank]

Could have been anything else as far as I was concerned. But to just. I mean, I just don't. I don't. I don't understand how it is that someone could be walking around saying winning with that Charlie Sheen intonation and saying it without any irony at all. Like, they're. That's still how they're describing when things have gone well for them, when they've gotten their table. So we ended up. Because that was a total S show, we ended up going over to the Duchess, which is over on 55th. Oh, kind of by the Kid Valley and some other places. We go in there, we sit down. It was also packed, but somehow we got a table, which was rad. Everybody who worked there was, like, super nice, and a 10 works there. A guy named Dave came over, bought us some shots, bought us some beer.

[Jen Andrews]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Was like my big TBTL listener, really. He said, I heard you talking about the game. I hoped you were going to come here. It's like, wow, this is a huge upgrade from the Ram, where you got a bunch of Oregon fans saying winning. So thanks to Dave for buying us the drinks and for being a TBTL fan. One other thing really quickly that I'll mention about tonight, I'm going to be doing comedy with my buddy Scott Moran from New York City and a guy that he knows named Mark Normand, who's a really funny guy, too. It's at Odd Duck. I actually forgot that I was supposed to do this until somebody posted it on my Facebook page. Which is. Tells you that either I have early dementia or I'm really big time Jennifer. Then I asked Scott, I was texting Scott about it. He said, yeah, I think they've pre sold two tickets. So he's like, it's very well, me maybe the three of us just talking to each other, which he said could be really interesting in a kind of meta performance way.

[Jen Andrews]

Didn't we figure out once that the worst number is nine? If nine people show up, it's like just. Just wrong. It's a little too big and a little too small.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think. I think we'll be lucky to get to nine. I don't know. I mean, we certainly haven't been promoting it here. And it's also happening opposite of John Hodgman and John Roderick playing over at Town Hall. And then there's like an open mic comedy night that happens at the Comedy Underground where all of the comedians go. Comedians, wannabe comedians make the most. Make up the most reliable audience of all comedy shows.

[Jen Andrews]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Because they're always up for watching comedy. I don't know why you think their souls would have been crushed at some point, but no. Anyway, so that's happening tonight. If you hear this and you are looking for something to do, I will preface it by saying because I didn't know this was happening until like yesterday, I'll probably just do. Probably do 30 minutes on Andy Rooney and how I didn't kill him. It'll more or less be whatever we talked about on TBT and a couple of other recycled jokes. So I just want you to be prepared for. Prepared for what's going to happen there. But Scott is really funny and this other guy, Mark is also really funny. So maybe you should come just to see them. Okay, we've got a. We've got a new segment called International News Desk. How close. How close is Fort Wayne to the Canadian border? Is it close enough to. Is it close enough to constitute something international? Not really, no.

[Jen Andrews]

All right, well, maybe something at the Ohio border. Interstate.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, you've got all kinds of interesting developments in Greece. You've got the world's economy just hanging in the balance. So we start our international news today with Matt Lauer.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, I know you're dying to know where in the world he is.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, really.

[Jen Andrews]

And I got up at 7 to see. And I can announce he's in Namibia.

[Luke Burbank]

How is this? As a Today show viewer, which you are, can you explain to me what the appeal is? It's a trivia contest, right? Is that how it works, you guys?

[Jen Andrews]

No, he just. It's. It's a surprise every morning for a whole week, and every morning he's in a completely different part of the globe. So it's kind of an amazing feat on his part. And the producers of getting him moved around in secret so that he, like, pops up in this other, like, exotic place that. And you get to learn about, like. Like this morning, I learned about the Himba tribe, and that was very fascinating because they don't have water and it very rarely rains. And so the women bathe by smoke. They sit over these little smoke piles, and they wrap a blanket around themselves, and they let the smoke cleanse their bodies. And they said it gives them a beautiful smell.

[Luke Burbank]

Does he have a private jet that he uses?

[Jen Andrews]

Oh, I'm sure he must. I mean, because tomorrow he'll be somewhere, like, on the whole other side of the globe. So I think it's more just interesting to see where he ends up.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? I'm, like, sort of being dismissive of it. But look, if some soccer mom somewhere or soccer dad, I don't want to be. I don't want to be hurtful towards women. If some person who's getting most of their news from the Today show, if they get some interesting facts about Namibia, I guess that's a good thing, right?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. I mean, it's always kind of interesting because he, you know, tells you about the. You learn a little broad about a broad thing about the country in general. And then he always goes to a few different little, like a tribe, and like, the big thing they do there is skiing on sand, and he actually skied the slope a few times. And, you know, it makes you kind of. It just again opens your eyes a little bit to some part of the world you don't know anything about.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't you think, though, this had to be a thing that Matt Lauer pitched, thinking, what's the most fun thing I could possibly do for a week? Like, he pitched them like, Matt Lauer sits in a Jacuzzi. And then they turn that down. He was like, well, how about I'm just in a different country every day? And they're like, yeah, okay.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. Well, it's turned out. I mean, I think this is like the eighth year or something. It's definitely become this annual thing. So that's where Matt Lauer is today.

[Luke Burbank]

Great.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, speaking of, I'll tell you where he is tomorrow. I know you can't wait.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of questions about where in the world one might be. Do it. Rockapella. You know what I realized, Jen, today when we were talking before the show about Carmen Sandiego? I was saying to you, you're a little bit too old. You're like three years older than me. You're a little too old for Carbon Sandiego. And then I thought, I'm a little too old for Carmen San Diego. I just think that this damn song. When Rockapella would just break this song out, I was locked in. So there are reports that Jennifer Lopez has signed on to produce and possibly star in a movie version of where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? The movie will be the first time the franchise has reached the big screen. That is the Carmen Sandiego franchise. Apparently, back in the 90s, Disney bought the rights and they were gonna have Sandra Bullock play Carmen Sandiego.

[Jen Andrews]

So this is better than that.

[Luke Burbank]

But here's the thing. Carmen Sandiego is. Now, I didn't play the computer game, so I'm sure some of our listeners will have some information on this. But, like, based just on the PBS show, by the way, this is apparently the longest song of all time based on at least the TV show version. Carmen Sandiego was. Other than her whereabouts being mysterious, I don't think she had any dialogue. She wasn't really a person.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, then that's a story that needs to be told.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe that's what it is. Because what was cool about the show Carmen Sandiego was that you had the lady who was, like, the assignment person. She was sitting there with a magnifying glass, and she'd always be, like, telling the players what their mission was. Then there was geography questions, which were cool. And then there was at the end, some kind of, like a obstacle course type of a thing. And then there was Rockapella. Yeah, do it. Rockapella. I would put Rockefeller at the top of the list of things. By the way, Rockapella better be in this movie. Those guys better make an appearance.

[Jen Andrews]

That would be a bummer. If it's JLo singing it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man. If you. Oh, my God. If Jenny from the Block tries to steal Rockapella's thunder in this movie, I swear to God, I will be really upset.

[Jen Andrews]

Is it. I mean, it sounds like it's just reports. Do you think. Is it gonna be a kids movie?

[Luke Burbank]

I hope so. Let's see here. I'm reading through the story here. It mostly just goes into stuff about her and Ben Affleck for some reason. That's what we get for getting our news from the globalchristianpost.com who for some reason covering a lot of J. Lo related material today. I don't know how sort of substantial these rumors are, but I just never want to miss an opportunity to play the where in the World is Carmen Sandiego theme. I think there's an indie band that does that. If there isn't, there really should be as like an encore because if you are again, I'm old. I'm 35. I'm too old for Carmen Sandiego. But if you're like, if you're 20 to 30, that is like probably one of the most recognizable. Side note, sidebar did you notice how many people were dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this Halloween?

[Jen Andrews]

No, but I did see workaholics this week that was all Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle related.

[Luke Burbank]

In the airport in Vegas when we were coming back, saw a bunch of people dressed as Ninja turtles.

[Jen Andrews]

It's that 90s nostalgia we were just talking about that that's like raging right now.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm seeing. But how did everybody communicate it to each other and how did I not hear about it? Because everybody, it's like everybody decided this year somehow without, as I could tell, any kind of Internet coordination that it was. This was the year that everyone was supposed to dress up like a Ninja Turtle.

[Jen Andrews]

That is. It is weird, though, how that kind of like that idea of 90s nostalgia has kind of gripped everyone at the same moment. It's not like that was coordinated.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

So maybe that's a real thing that just kind of is organic and happens at a certain time.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of things that are, can I.

[Jen Andrews]

Just say one thing about this Jennifer Lopez story, please? Is it possible that the global Christian network is wrong? Because I could swear that I saw an article on Friday that said that she was in talks to do the biopic for Carmen Moran Miranda. Well, I mean, possibly she's doing two.

[Luke Burbank]

Carmen movies emails here. I mean, I don't know. I'm seeing Huffington Post is reporting the same thing. Maybe she's, you know, maybe she's only doing as we've talked about on this show extensively. Maybe her third picture will be about the Christian singer Carmen. Maybe she's only working on projects where Carmen is involved in one way or another.

[Jen Andrews]

That would be so funny if somebody did like a conceptual career like that where they just picked a name I.

[Luke Burbank]

Think James Franco is working on it. If anybody is close, it's probably. It's Franco. Okay. Speaking of things that are organic and very hard to wrap your head around, D'Antwod, the Zeff music outfit from South Africa, they've got. They found themselves sideways with their label. What happened?

[Jen Andrews]

Well, they got signed by Interscope and they got their album done. It's called Tension spelled with a dollar sign. And when they turned it in, Interscope basically said, this is not releasable. This is not releasable material. You have to take it back in the.

[Luke Burbank]

What did they say was. So was it just really inappropriate or was it because based on, like, other things that Interscope has put out. I don't want to sound like a fogey, but just based on, like, what the average. Let's just say rap album sounds like, I have a hard time believing they could be over, like, Odd Future has been, you know, published and released to the world. I can't imagine Diantword could say anything much more inappropriate. Right.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, it's impossible to talk about Dion Tord without swearing. So an alert. The name of the single that they. The lead in track that was to be the single is Fuck youk All. And the label said it's too hard for a single and the entire album needs to be reworked to have some sort of pop appeal. I mean, the idea I'm getting is that the whole album was so hard that there was not one single that they felt like was releasable with any kind of hook or any soft part at all. Just to give people a little tiny listen of what they have one song that's kind of a hit. Enter the Ninja. Oh, yeah, no, and I'll play just a little bit of that here for everybody to remind you. That's the only part of the song that I can play.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, a lot of it is very sweary. They're also just visually one of the more troubling groups.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, well, Sean did a shondatori investigate to try to figure out if they're real or not. I think we all agreed that they're definitely. They're an art project. And so they keep having these iterations of this.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, they had this one guy who was sort of loosely affiliated with a group who had progeria, which is that disease where you age. I believe that guy passed away, actually. And then the main guy, whatever his name is.

[Jen Andrews]

Ninja and Yolandi.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, sure. Look at who's been like. Who's been doing her research on Zeff music.

[Jen Andrews]

So this is what happened. They basically got a lawyer and got. They left Interscope. They got out of their contract because they don't want to rework the album and they're going to release it themselves. And so they said, we're doing our own thing. And then they tweeted that it will all be available on digitally. They won't be releasing in any other way because let me just say it exactly how he put it, because CDs are like motherfucking VHS. Ninja says. So the album Tension with a Dollar Sign will apparently be being released online digitally only and not through Interscope. That's the big. That's out. That's news out of South Africa.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, this is an international news segment, right? So I. Here's the thing I wonder about for D'Antord. Like, I wonder if they're going to ever be able to make any money off of their music. Because, like we had the guys from Built to Spill in here and not that they're d'Antwart at all. In fact, I would say if you're a person who loves Dantoort, you probably also have, let's just say, a liberal policy on stealing music off the Internet, right? I mean, I'm sure there can be. There might be some Trappist monks who are really into Diane toward and they would never steal music. But I bet you it's mostly people who were like, look, I just watched a person with Progeria simulate sex on a girl with the most weird looking haircut I've ever. You know what? I'll steal this song. Like, I just feel like that. You know, the Venn diagram overlap is extreme there. So if they release this and it's only digital and which is the easiest.

[Jen Andrews]

Way for it to spread like wildfire.

[Luke Burbank]

On the Internet may become very popular. But also when they played a live show in Seattle, wasn't it some kind of a. Did Shawn go to one of those. They did it in store or something and it was famously kind of weird, right?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, they're very weird. They're wearing pajamas. She looks like a child, so it's disturbing. And she's wearing like.

[Luke Burbank]

And she sings like we just heard, which is also weirdly childlike.

[Jen Andrews]

They're a disturbing band altogether. I don't know what's gonna happen with them. But you know, obviously we've been following their career for about a year now since they hit the. So I wanted to make everybody knew.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we try to get in front on these because, you know, we definitely. I think we broke the Juggalo story wide open. And once that was done, we had to turn to some other group that was hard to figure out what their exact intentions were.

[Jen Andrews]

Okay, gotta move over to Switzerland real quick.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Yes, please. This is our last story from the.

[Jen Andrews]

International news desk over in Switzerland. They've been tightening their animal welfare laws. And this might come as a shock to you, Luke, but guinea pigs are prone to loneliness. This is apparently such a known fact and such a serious issue that Switzerland has made it illegal to own just one guinea pig. You must own more than one because they suffer from loneliness.

[Luke Burbank]

I had no idea that this song also had application to the the world of pet rodents.

[Jen Andrews]

It's a short drive from North Korea to Switzerland if I know my geography.

[Luke Burbank]

And you do, by the way, how rad would be if Matt Lauer just showed up in, you know, Pyongyang? That would be an accomplishment. That would be something. I would.

[Jen Andrews]

If she does, I might do breaking news into Ross and Burbank in the morning.

[Luke Burbank]

I welcome you to do that. How do they study if the guinea pigs are lonely?

[Jen Andrews]

I don't have any idea how this has become. I mean, so absolutely for sure that you had passed this law, but what's happening is that. So you have a guinea pig and one guinea pig dies. Well, now you're, you know, a felon. I mean, you know, now you're actually against the law, so you have to go buy another one. But then what happens is that their ages are different, and so then the one that you had died. And so you can get into. You could conceivably get into this loop of having to constantly buy a guinea pig when the one dies. And so this enterprising young woman, Prisca Kyung, she has started a company that rents guinea pigs. You can rent a castrated male for $30 to keep your sole guinea pig company until that guinea pig dies so that you will not be actually in an illegal situation.

[Luke Burbank]

I see you holding a magazine that looks not unlike the New York Times. Yeah, that's where this came from.

[Jen Andrews]

That's where this story came from. You can see I circled it because as I read it, I could not believe.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my goodness gracious. But they don't say in there anything about how they've determined the lonely. It's just that it's a given scientifically, it's a given at this point that.

[Jen Andrews]

Guinea pigs are lonely.

[Luke Burbank]

We had a gerbil once. I guess it was a hamster. I don't really know the difference between a hamster and a gerbil.

[Jen Andrews]

I don't either.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, a guinea pig is larger. I know that. But the only pet I was allowed to have as a kid was like, a gerbil or a hamster that I got from my class, like my grade school class. And we brought him home and then one of my sisters was holding him and then dropped him from like, you know, probably four feet or wherever her arms were. But, you know, to a gerbil, that's a pretty far fall down to, like, a kitchen floor. And he, like, landed and, like, couldn't move and was totally paralyzed. And I was. I just couldn't believe it. I was devastated. We put him in the little cage and, like, we're just so. We were, yeah, we killed this guy. I think we may have prayed for him. We may have laid hands on him two days later, up and walking around.

[Jen Andrews]

Just anointing oil works.

[Luke Burbank]

Every time something happened to that gerbil, he died.

[Jen Andrews]

I'm so glad you didn't kill your class pet. That would have been so awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

He died, by the way, like a week or two later of unrelated. Like, his jaw fell off. He had some weird tumor.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, loneliness can cause a lot of weird tumor.

[Luke Burbank]

He had been a lifetime smoker, too, so part of me was like, you know, you saw that coming.

[Jen Andrews]

He was 92 Harvey Hamster years.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't like wood shavings. I guess that makes me bad. Okay, let's take a quick musical break and then we're gonna come back and we're gonna lay some granny time on you. We're also gonna update you on various get togethers related to our Chateau St. Michel Sweet Berry wine tasting event that's been going on all over the country. Let's hear a little bit of the Long Winters fronted by our pal, John Roderick. He is going to be playing with another pal of the show, John Hodgman, tonight at Town Hall. So if you want to go over there and hang out with the cool people, do that. If you want to come to a quiet, very quiet avant garde performance show that I'm going to be a part of, come to the Odd Duck Theater on First Hill. A theater so amazing I don't think it has a website. I was trying to find it today. I couldn't. So anyway, this is a pushover. The long winners back with more TBTL in just a moment. Fight. We can try. I'd love an answer that isn't sly. So. So you don't toast the day before the twilight for you, I might push over. I would if I did.

[Jen Andrews]

I Would I just want you to say Come back Wish me luck, Wish me luck.

[Luke Burbank]

Unkind girlish walk like a deed to the world without the talk.

[Jen Andrews]

As you wade through the crowd I.

[Luke Burbank]

Sit next to you, the seat's still.

[Jen Andrews]

Warm you imma push over I would if I give it I would I just want you to say Come on, wish me luck Wish me luck.

[Luke Burbank]

You are my pushover I would, I.

[Jen Andrews]

Would I just want you to say Come on wish me luck Wish me luck.

[Luke Burbank]

I just want you. Welcome back to tbtl. This a show that's probably too beautiful to live. My name is Living Luke Burbank, joined as always by my dear friend Jen Andrews. She is right over there. And on Mondays, Mondays, we bring you a segment we call Granny Time.

[Jen Andrews]

Ladies and gentlemen, she's in the house.

[Luke Burbank]

It's Granny Time. What's on your mind this week, Granny?

[Jen Andrews]

Okay, first of all, I don't like it when.

[Luke Burbank]

I like it when you get into the character. Yeah, I like, sometimes I know you kind of. You don't. You don't necessarily love being called a granny. You accept it, you know, but. But you don't. You don't always embrace it, but then some weeks you really embrace. I can almost, can almost hear you pulling a shawl around yourself and putting your hair up in a bunch.

[Jen Andrews]

So here's the thing. When one of our listeners sends me a link, they just send me the link. And I can see in the link where it's going to take me. But if you're reading an aggregator, it will be telling the story and a little part of it will be highlighted for you to go to the source. And you don't know if it's the New York Times. This really bugs me because of course I'm monitoring how many articles I've read because I can't read more than 20.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, no. Are you really? You're not? But wait, that doesn't even make sense because you have the. Or do you buy the thing?

[Jen Andrews]

I buy this every Sunday.

[Luke Burbank]

Or you don't get it delivered. You should just get it delivered, then you get the thing for free.

[Jen Andrews]

To be honest with you, I read it earlier than they get there.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my God, you're amazing.

[Jen Andrews]

I have a system.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Jen Andrews]

So I can only read 20 articles a month and I very closely monitor that situation. And I do not appreciate it, theall.com when you don't tell me that I'm going to be going to New York Times because maybe I wasn't that interested. And this morning it Was to. This is what makes me so angry this morning. It was a link to an article that was in the paper yesterday that I bought. I already read it. I read it yesterday. Why are they linking today to an article from yesterday? We already read it.

[Luke Burbank]

Alright, well, here's the thing, listeners there. It's a very complicated thing to email us now. Everyone has already gotten hip to nrn, which means no reply necessary. When you put that in the subject line, we're over 70% more likely to read your email because we know that you're not going to ask us for a reply because sometimes we. I am anyway. Jen's better about it than I am, but. So NRN is a big part of it. And now if it's a New York Times story, we need you to cut and paste it into the body of the email for Jennifer so that Jen does not end up exceeding her 20.

[Jen Andrews]

Listeners rarely embed. So this is really not a listener problem. They usually just. The link is right there. I can read what the link is. This is like aggregators who do this or. You know what I mean, They've just embedded it and so there's just a little part highlighted and if you click on it takes you to the original source.

[Luke Burbank]

Hyperlink.

[Jen Andrews]

Hyperlink, yes. Listeners never do that.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Jen Andrews]

So it's not a listener's problem. It's really the aggregation as you were listening. And it makes me angry. So that's the first thing. Like just to all, everybody, everywhere, we're all counting our articles. Everyone is involved in this. This is a worldwide situation. Have some respect. I am at eight articles now. I was at seven and now I'm at eight. Thank you. To link me to an article I already read yesterday in the hard copy.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not cool at all.

[Jen Andrews]

No, not cool. Okay. I am happy with myself today though, because yes, the Wall Street Journal has a report about how poor penmanship leads to post office jobs. I'm so happy of myself. Here's the situation. Mostly computers are now reading all of the letters, but they can't read well. Okay, so in the 90s when computers were first reading, reading letters and sorting them, they couldn't read nine out of 10. So they had 35,000 people whose job it was to sit and decode these addresses. But now the computers have gotten a lot better. So now they can actually read 95% of it. But that still is like 1,000 people who have to sit in this place in Salt Lake City called the encoding, the remote encoding center and figure out where these letters are. Supposed to go to. So, you know, more bad penmanship leads to more jobs. And I have the worst penmanship in the world. Anybody who orders from pretty snarky knows because I hand deliver. I hand address everything. And they all know. I mean, my handwriting is horrible. But I just found out that I am keeping people employed at the remote encoding center, which, if you were to.

[Luke Burbank]

Write that down, we would not have any idea what had been written down because of how bad your penmanship is.

[Jen Andrews]

The day that the Wall Street Journal was there doing the story, they got a letter that they were trying to decode that was addressed to this address. Hello, big daddy. It's your sexy mama. I love you and always will. That was written in the address section. I don't think they figured out where to mail that one.

[Luke Burbank]

That doesn't sound like a real address.

[Jen Andrews]

I don't know that you could ever figure out where to send that.

[Luke Burbank]

I have to say, sending out the posters and things for the tbtl a thon stuff, I mean, and signing the posters. How's this for bad penmanship? I can't sign my own name. A few people got posters where there's my signature, then it's crossed out. Or there's just an arrow that says, sorry, because I could not send that signature out without comment on it because of how bad it is. I have really my handwriting. My penmanship was never great, but it is atrophied to a ridiculous degree now.

[Jen Andrews]

I feel like mine's getting worse, too. It's so bad. But silver lining.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, silver lining.

[Jen Andrews]

We are keeping people employed.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Jen Andrews]

That's where it counts.

[Luke Burbank]

That is, by the way, un granny like of you, because usually grannies have really good hand. Although it gets a little bit more. It gets a little more shaky.

[Jen Andrews]

Shaky, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But it's like, it's usually based on, you know, having learned handwriting with a strict teacher who would hit you with a ruler, possibly a nun.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, the funny thing is that whenever it comes up in my family situations, like if I'm writing out a note for my mom or something, she gets so upset because apparently my fourth grade teacher, Ms. Grossman, had really bad handwriting. And my mom actually brought it up at the school. Like, how is somebody with poor penmanship gonna teach my daughter penmanship? Like, this is not. And so she, like, very specifically blames Ms. Grossman and says, I. Because my mom has, like, kind of that. Beautiful women in their 50s have this really beautiful handwriting, and mine is just scratch. And my mom is still angry about it.

[Luke Burbank]

At Ms. Grossman, my mom was, I guess, 12 years of parochial school in Philadelphia, and with the whole nuns that were really mean and would whack you on the hand and the whole thing. And her handwriting is incredible still to this day. It's just amazing. And I was somewhere in. I can't remember where I was, but I was somewhere in. I don't know, I want to say, like, in the Midwest or something. And the waitress brought out the check and had written out the stuff. And I said, philadelphia Catholic School. She said, yeah, how'd you know? I was like, you got the same handwriting as my mom. It's incredible what a little bit of threat of physical violence will do for your handwriting.

[Jen Andrews]

Okay. The other thing I wanted to bring up is the New York City Marathon. First of all, they're talking about adding a second day next year so that 46,000 more people can run, because it's a lottery.

[Luke Burbank]

I know I didn't get in this year.

[Jen Andrews]

Would that make you feel. Do you feel like that would be less than it if you. If you got in. If they added a second day and there was double the slots, or do you just not care? You just want to run it, or do you think that Saturday will be, like, lesser? Everybody will still want to run Sunday.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's what will. I mean, everybody will want to run in the. Whatever the premier version of the race is, which presumably would be Sunday, because it's probably when the. The pros are going to run. I don't know. I was turned down this year. I have to say, on some level, I was relieved because it's like, sorry, I tried more cheese sticks. You know what I mean? It's kind of great to be turned down by the New York City Marathon, because then you have completely a decent excuse for not doing it.

[Jen Andrews]

Jason got turned down the first year, but he got in the second year and ran that year. But he was saying that there's something special about. He goes, you're not even being chosen. It's just the lottery. It still feels really good. And so I wondered how you would feel.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think that having two days would cheapen it a little bit. And you're right. It'll be this thing where there's kind of like a junior varsity version, which would be the Saturday. And also the other thing is that. And I used to live in Brooklyn, not very far from the route. And you'd go out and stand along.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. And cheer.

[Luke Burbank]

And stand along, I want to say was Fourth Avenue. But anyway, while everyone. And it was really fun and people bring like, it's cool because people would bring, like. Like, you know, bodegas would have, like, their speakers. That'd be, like, home stereo speakers, but, like, drag them out onto the street and, like, plug them into a car and hotwire it and, like, be playing music for everybody. I don't know if you get people to motivate. Two days, mornings.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So then you're either in the fun one on Sunday, or you're just running down the windswept streets of Brooklyn and other parts of New York all kind of sad and, like, by yourself. Not by yourself. But.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, I think they should keep it at one day.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And just. I mean, look there. It's like 40,000 people a year get to do it. I mean, that seems like a. That's a lot of people. That's probably enough people. Maybe just, you know, and the people who don't get in will probably just be inspired to try to get in the next year. I'm thinking about that, too. I'm. Yeah. I don't know. When I. Every year, when I would watch it happen, even when I just watch it on tv, I would be so inspired, and I would just think, I can do that. But then turns out I can't. And then also, you guys had a big fight about this New York Times coverage of the marathon.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, the little caption under the picture of Paula Radcliffe says, did she win it again? No, no. An Ethiopian woman won it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really?

[Jen Andrews]

And a Kenyan man.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow. Surprising.

[Jen Andrews]

So Paula Radcliffe in 2003, running the fastest marathon time by a woman. She was paced by men, so the time doesn't count as a record, which really, really bothered Jason. He thought it should still count. He doesn't think it matters if you're paced or not. And I completely. We got into a huge argument about it.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, just for people who don't know from running, pacing is when you have somebody running a little bit faster than you or maybe even the same speed, but keeping you on time, that's exactly.

[Jen Andrews]

The pace you need to finish it at your goal.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't understand. I don't exactly understand the psychology, because Paula Radcliffe and any of these elite runners, they know what pace they're supposed to be on. They have a watch. You'd think that they would just look at the watch and say, I got to keep running at such a speed. But there's something different about having a human being running with you. But there aren't any women as fast as her at that time, so she has to find a dude to pace Her.

[Jen Andrews]

Right, right. So she. So what Jason was saying is that every single person who runs a marathon is basically being paced. Because the first thing you do is kind of find somebody who's running in your same pace and you kind of keep your eye on them. And. But I was saying that's totally different because that's an amateur. That's not a promised paid companion to run next to you and make sure that you're doing the exact pace that you want to. I just think that's. To me, that's cheating on some level. It shouldn't count as an official record.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know, though. What are you supposed to do if you're a woman and there. If anyone else can have a pacer, the men have pacers. Well, I guess not the 5%.

[Jen Andrews]

I don't think that. Yeah, I don't think that if you're going for records and things, you should have a pacer. To me, that's not fair.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, except that they don't. They're not giving you a piggyback ride like you could give me the world's best pacer, and I am not winning the New York Marathon.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, and then Jason's like, throwing back at me like some argument you and I had a couple years ago about Dera Torres because you were saying, you know, is it fair that she can afford to have this huge training staff? And I said, it is. And I was saying, no, it's not. Those men are not getting in the Olympic pool with Dera Torres and pacing her. That, you know, it's. There's something about bringing along people into the race who run next to you to make sure you do a perfect job. That, to me, seems like an unfair advantage, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

But I just feel like she still had to run the race. Her body still had to do all this. She still did it. She still did it. Which to me is pretty. Pretty darn impressive. Again, I just. I get back to the. Not exactly understanding what it is about the. I understand that it's real because obviously, you know, there's an advantage to having a human running with you. But I don't exactly understand how these. These runners are mentally very tough. I don't understand how it is that they can't just.

[Jen Andrews]

But they still bonk and they still have bad days and they still. And think about your emotional. I mean, you had several breakdowns during your marathon.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, my 4 hour and 28 minute marathon or whatever it was.

[Jen Andrews]

I think to not have to worry about your pace, to just like not Even have to worry about it. You've got two guys standing next to you who are keeping you at exactly the pace, so you can spend all of your time thinking about other things. I think that's an advantage.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess so. I guess so. I mean, I don't know. I'm probably more with Jason on this one. And I don't know. I mean, just like he and I have done marathons. So although you did save. You did save a barefoot guy from stepping in dog shit at a marathon, which is a pretty amazing.

[Jen Andrews]

I have gone to a lot of marathons.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, absolutely.

[Jen Andrews]

I've done my time on the sidelines cheering. You can do it. No, no. Don't give up. Don't give up.

[Luke Burbank]

Any other granny time. Before we. Before we start to wrap things up.

[Jen Andrews]

Here, I just wanted to read this email that we received. My wife and I moved to a new neighborhood. Several neighbors have mentioned getting together. This is from Andy, by the way. Several neighbors have mentioned getting together. We've had a baby and went to grad school. And so we're feeling like we're coming out of exile and are excited to make new friends. The problem is we are vegetarians and we are teetotalers.

[Luke Burbank]

Sounds like our kind of people. I can see why you have a lot to enjoy about the show. That's actually not fair at all. I'm very happy that you guys listen.

[Jen Andrews]

He's very concerned about how to not seem rude by requesting a non meat meal and how to have people over and let them know there won't be any alcohol.

[Luke Burbank]

They're teetotalers, but people can't drink at their house. That seems like a.

[Jen Andrews]

How do we invite people over when they will be expecting a fun night to include us partaking with them in the drinking? So I'm sorry, they are going to have alcohol, but they don't participate in it. I mean, Andy and Andy's wife have a rough road. And I. I'm all about your conscience. And you got to do what you got to do.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

To be happy in your life. But you got a rough road.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

Because that does immediately put people on edge and make people feel like you're judging them or they feel uncomfortable or they don't have to.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's what I would say. I would say take a vegan cooking class, first of all, because that'd probably be fun and interesting. Second of all, you're gonna meet other vegans and then if you invite them over to hang and it turns out you're not really gonna drink the wine. I have a sense that that's only like you're not starting off with them already being slightly surprised by the vegan nature of the meal, whatever, so you've gotten rid of half of it. Or go to an AA meeting and make a lot of friends and then hang out with them and then they'll only be put off by the vegan. If there's an AA meeting for vegans, you found the sweet spot. You found the fertile crescent of your new hang time buddies.

[Jen Andrews]

Andy and his wife are in a tough spot too, because when somebody invites you for dinner, you really do have to tell them that you're a vegetarian because it's so much ruder. I don't know if ruder is a word. It's more impolite to have them cook this whole meal and you show up and say, oh, I can't eat any of that. So they're right. You do have to tell them right off the bat. Thank you for inviting us over dinner, by the way. We're vegetarians.

[Luke Burbank]

Not just vegetarians, but vegans.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Or just vegetarians.

[Jen Andrews]

No, vegetarians.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, oh, oh, well, that's. I'm sorry, I was thinking vegan in my mind. And vegetarian is actually, that's not super duper difficult to abide.

[Jen Andrews]

It still puts the hostess in a situation where she feels nervous because, oh, I've got to make sure that, you know, I can come up with a vegetarian meal and that they'll have enough to eat. I mean, my mom just goes to such lengths for the vegetarian in our family and, you know, bless her heart for it. But it does make the hostess feel, I think, nervous. And then when you throw in, oh, and by the way, we don't drink, it just kind of everybody. It's rough. I would maybe not bring up the drinking thing. I would just bring up the vegetarian thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. You know, that's a great point. Who cares, right? Like, I don't think if people come over and they're having some wine and you guys are having a fun conversation, their enjoyment is not going to be diminished greatly by the fact that they haven't noticed you putting back the wine. As long as you're okay with providing alcohol for people who want to have some alcohol while there at your house, then I don't think that there's anything that they should bethat. These folks should be too worried about. But they should try to host. Yeah, yeah, they should get a really bitchin barbecue and like a good setup with some tiki torches and like make their house the fun house to where people don't even notice that they're not getting meat products.

[Jen Andrews]

My brother in law is diabetic and so he. And he's juvenile, has juvenile diabetes, so he's been diabetic since he was really young. And so he's always giving Jason tips about sugar free stuff. And he's gotten him really into Fresca.

[Luke Burbank]

How about a Fresca?

[Jen Andrews]

That's something that you could do is, you know, you can be pouring wine and everything and you can be having, you know, little Fresca and tonic. That's what Jason pours for himself at stuff all the time, is a little Fresca and tonic. And it looks like a fun little cocktail.

[Luke Burbank]

I had. Yeah, we had some food at this place in Seattle called the High Line, which is a. I don't even think it's just vegetarian. I think it's actually vegan. But they had the most awesome stuff. I couldn't believe it. I mean, it's kind of like it's not super healthy because it's like Tater tots, but they're made. You know what I mean? But they do all this really great stuff. We went through like half of the menu and it was awesome. There was not one thing on there that wasn't totally delicious. And it wasi just couldn't stop saying, I can't believe this is vegan. So if you guys can create that experience for people where you kind of make some cool stuff and it happens to be vegetarian, you'll convert a lot.

[Jen Andrews]

Of people and just having good drinks. If you're sitting there drinking a glass of milk, that's obnoxious. But if you're sitting there having a Diet Coke or something, nobody cares.

[Luke Burbank]

And then also you're like Dwight Schrute at Schrute Farms having a cabbage pie with some milk. Did you see the episode this week of the Office?

[Jen Andrews]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

They go over to Dwight's house and he's digging this huge hole in his front yard. And they're like, what are you doing? He goes, what does it look like digging a horse grave? And then they start helping him dig and he says, he goes, if you hit another horse, you've dug too far. Thought that was great. Sweet berry wine. Hey, we're having this sweet berry wine tasting event. It's going on all over the country. We're going to give you the results on November 15th of a few different Chateau St Michel wines that are reasonably priced and available probably in a store near you. And people have already started staging these Things. What's the good word on that, Flash?

[Jen Andrews]

We got reports in from Montana and from Iowa. They both did their tastings over the weekend and sent the results. I just. Rob was kind enough to send the meeting minutes of the Montana wine tasting. And I just wanted to read you my favorite part, which was the location. Missoula, Montana. Jody's house. The maroon and silver double wide out by the old paper mill, past the rock quarry, take the dirt road off Mullen up by where that guy ran a semi op into the field last summer and it caught fire. You know the one just off that I was like, oh, I wish I'd been able to attend.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's awesome.

[Jen Andrews]

So those already went on. There are a couple new ones to announce. Oh, I'm sorry, just one new one to announce. All the rest of them are up on our site. The Philly gathering is going to be on Friday at 6:30 at Eddie's house. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

I've heard Eddie's house is amazing. It's by where that guy crashed an ambulance into a liquor store. You know the one, whole place flooded with gin. You know the one.

[Jen Andrews]

So if you are in the Philly area and you would like to attend that, email me and I will send you Eddie's email so you can get the actual address.

[Luke Burbank]

And if you're in some other part of the country, it might be worth checking out tbtl.net because there's a list of, I don't know, six or seven different events that are going on and people are being super nice like inviting people over to their apartments and meeting up at different spots or meeting up in Seattle at Neptune Coffee on Saturday.

[Jen Andrews]

On Saturday I'm going to that one.

[Luke Burbank]

I would love to be there. I'm like helping out with this charity auction for a hospital. So that's a pretty good excuse, isn't it?

[Jen Andrews]

Oh yeah, that is.

[Luke Burbank]

But yeah, you're gonna be there, Flash. That'll be really fun. So Anyway, go to tbtl.net to check out what the latest is with all that stuff. Alright guys, that's gonna wrap it up here on this Monday. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. We'll be back here tomorrow of course, with much more imaginary radio for you until we see you again. Please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Jen Andrews]

And good luck to all.