Episode #950

Summary

TBTL Podcast Episode #950: "Cooking with Sean Dettore - Prison Cuisine"

Release Date: November 12, 2011

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Jennifer Flash

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Introduction & Weekend Plans

In Episode #950 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Jennifer Flash kick off the show with their characteristic humor and camaraderie. Luke welcomes listeners to this milestone episode, highlighting the show's playful nature and their enduring friendship.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (00:21): "Hey folks. Welcome to a Friday afternoon edition of tbtl. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live."

Jennifer shares her excitement about the upcoming Sweetberry Wine Tastings, encouraging listeners to connect with the MacArthur Foundation if they make new friends at the events.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer (01:05): "I would just ask that if you attend a sweetberry wine tasting this weekend and you make a lifelong friend, that you drop a line to the genius grant people."

Luke discusses their collaboration with Chateau St. Michel for an upcoming wine tasting event, emphasizing the importance of external support to manage the event logistics.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (01:24): "You're bringing in outside help to administrate it, to administer it because you don't want. You can't administer the test and take the test."

Community Engagement & Listener Interaction

Jennifer and Luke delve into listener feedback, particularly amusing reports about the availability of crackers at various venues. They humorously commend themselves for shedding light on seemingly trivial but relatable issues, like the worldwide "cracker shortage."

Notable Quote:

• Luke (02:33): "Yes, they do. And you know what? That's what this show is about. It's about curing world loneliness, and it's about teaching people to be grateful for their crackers."

Jennifer introduces a delightful anecdote about the Minnesota 10s' extravagant cheese wheel, juxtaposing it with the humble cracker supply, showcasing the hosts' knack for turning everyday observations into humorous commentary.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer (02:30): "They now recognize they should be grateful."

Charity Auctions & Personal Projects

Luke shares his involvement in a charity auction for Franciscan Health Systems supporting St. Joe's Hospital, highlighting his commitment to community service. He humorously contrasts his wine enthusiast tendencies with the serious nature of the charity event.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (03:00): "I always thought nuns, man, that seems like a really. That's obviously a lifelong decision."

Jennifer highlights the musical entertainment at the auction, reminiscing about past performances and emphasizing the enjoyable experiences despite the event's serious foundation.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (04:15): "Seeing all of these people in their 50s and 60s getting down to Flo Rida was pretty awesome."

Cooking with Sean Dettore: Introducing Prison Cuisine

A significant portion of the episode centers around the innovative segment "Cooking with Sean Dettore," where the hosts explore unconventional recipes inspired by prison cooking methods. Jennifer reminisces about their past show where their experiment with prison-style cooking spiraled into a quasi-sociological experiment, revealing unexpected interpersonal dynamics.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer (06:04): "We didn't mean for it to, but our kind of hidden personalities came out, and we found out you were a little bit sniveling."

Luke humorously critiques the Stanford Prison Experiment comparison, reinforcing the playful and improvisational nature of their segment.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (06:23): "By the way, that's one of the smartest prisons you could get sent to is the Stanford Prison."

The Recipe: Cheez Its Mackerel

The segment introduces a humble yet inventive recipe: Cheez Its-crusted mackerel. Jennifer explains the simplicity of the recipe, emphasizing its origins from inmates utilizing limited resources.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer (15:29): "Cheez its mackerel. It's laid out in front of me now is some pretty appetizing little pieces of jack mackerel that are all breaded."

Sean Dettore, adopting a "prison chef" persona, meticulously follows the recipe steps while engaging in the hosts' banter, simulating the constraints of prison cooking.

Notable Quote:

• Sean (13:39): "I am getting a new tattoo, a little teardrop. I'm planning on it for next week."

The Cooking Process: Humorous Mishaps

As the trio attempts to execute the recipe, technical issues and comedic misunderstandings abound. The production humorously mimics the challenges inmates might face, such as limited tools and improvised cooking methods.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (21:26): "They're gonna love you, boy."

Jennifer and Sean navigate the process with witty exchanges, turning potential disasters (like the overpowering smell of mackerel) into moments of shared laughter and improvisational comedy.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (31:00): "Now, this recipe was gotten off the Internet, and it's."

Technical Challenges & Behind-the-Scenes Humor

Throughout the episode, Luke and Jennifer poke fun at technical mishaps, such as microphone issues and equipment malfunctions, adding another layer of humor and relatability to the show.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (02:03): "I cannot tell you how many emails I now get with just reports about how many crackers are available."

Culinary Triumphs & Taste Testing

The culmination of their cooking efforts leads to a successful taste test, with the hosts surprisingly proud of their makeshift oven-baked mackerel dish. The segment showcases their ability to turn a simple experiment into a memorable and entertaining experience.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (47:11): "Grilled prison mackerel. I'm not gonna lie to you. This is delicious. This is so good."

Jennifer and Sean express their satisfaction with the outcome, celebrating their "prison-inspired" culinary achievement and humorously contemplating life choices that led them to such entertaining experiments.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer (48:15): "Shocking good."

Closing Remarks & Future Segments

As the episode draws to a close, Luke and Jennifer reflect on the fun and chaos of the cooking segment, teasing future content and maintaining their engaging rapport. They reiterate their commitment to community events and listener engagement, wrapping up the episode on a high note.

Notable Quote:

• Luke (52:43): "This was really, really an accomplishment. And I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you both and proud of you all."

Jennifer concludes with a promotion of their upcoming wine tasting and charity events, inviting listeners to join in and share their experiences.

Notable Quote:

• Jennifer (58:09): "Have a fun weekend, everybody. Enjoy your wine tasting."

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Conclusion

Episode #950 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live exemplifies the show's blend of humor, friendship, and community engagement. Through their playful exploration of prison-inspired cuisine, Luke and Jennifer offer listeners a unique and entertaining experience, punctuated by memorable quotes and lively banter. This episode not only celebrates a significant milestone but also reinforces the show's enduring appeal and the hosts' chemistry.

Transcript

[Jennifer Flash]

Hey Fazellas. Looks like you guys are up to no good. Well, this gang used to be like that.

[Luke Burbank]

2, 3, 4. So you think you're tough? Well, we hate rapping but don't bust a capping cause here's what's happening. We're breaking out some old fashioned tapping.

[Jennifer Flash]

Papers and crib says new Ganga town.

[Luke Burbank]

I was shot.

[Jennifer Flash]

We miscalculated.

[Luke Burbank]

Retrain tbtm. Hey folks. Welcome to a Friday afternoon edition of tbtl. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live. It's episode 950 in a collector series. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host, joined as always by Jennifer Flash and. Hi, Jen.

[Jennifer Flash]

Hi.

[Luke Burbank]

How are you doing?

[Jennifer Flash]

I'm great. I'm great. I'm excited about all of the sweetberry wine tastings this weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

Man, it's just, it's really taken the country by storm.

[Jennifer Flash]

I would just ask that if you attend a sweetberry wine tasting this weekend and you make a lifelong friend, that you drop a line to the genius grant people. I mean, how hard is that to. Just a quick little email to MacArthur Foundation.

[Luke Burbank]

Is this why you did the whole thing?

[Jennifer Flash]

It's one of the reasons.

[Luke Burbank]

It's one of the reasons. It's a reason. A reason. It's not the reason. Yeah, this is going to be quite the fun weekend for a lot of the tens who are getting together and getting their wine taste on. We've been talking to the folks at Chateau St. Michel. We're going to be having our little tasting here next week on the 15th. You're bringing in outside, by which we mean the sales associate, Jan Martin. You're bringing in outside help to administrate it, to administer it because you don't want. You can't administer the test and take the test.

[Jennifer Flash]

Right, right, exactly. I need someone else to oversee it.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a very serious thing. This is like Price Waterhousecooper.

[Jennifer Flash]

I tell you what, I am gonna bring enough GD crackers. That's something that I understand.

[Luke Burbank]

I cannot tell you how many emails I now get with just reports about how many crackers are available. It's usually good news. Like, hey, I'm at, you know, check out this one. I'm at this place. Plenty of crackers. Like you've really, you've really opened up the eyes of our listeners to the cracker shortage at a lot of happy hours and also the abundance of crackers at other places.

[Jennifer Flash]

They now recognize they should be grateful.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, they do. And you know what? That's what this show Is about. It's about curing world loneliness, and it's about teaching people to be grateful for their crackers.

[Jennifer Flash]

The Minnesota 10s had their tasting over the weekend, and they sent me a picture, and they had this wheel of brie that was, like, as big as a car tire, and next to it was three crackers.

[Luke Burbank]

Did they take some out for the. Oh, this was for their taste.

[Jennifer Flash]

For their taste.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought you meant they were just.

[Jennifer Flash]

At some place that was on purpose.

[Luke Burbank]

We've got a big weekend coming up here. There's going to be the wine tasting. I'm going to be at down in Tacoma doing this charity auction for Franciscan health systems for St. Joe's Hospital. So while you're boozing it up at Neptune coffee, I'll be raising money for the thoracic surgery department. We all go with our strengths, but believe you me, I will be getting into the drinking when that thing is over. This is the third year I've done this, and what I've learned is Catholics, and in particular, the nuns, they love them, the drinks. They really do. I always thought nuns, man, that seems like a really. That's obviously a lifelong decision. And also a decision that just seems like you're sort of. You're subjecting yourself to a life of deprivation and of just. You know, I think of it more as, like, Opus dei, where you're just going to sleep on a board every night and maybe whip yourself.

[Jennifer Flash]

It is very austere. You know, it's a. It's a valve. Poverty.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Flash]

And chastity. You've taken away a lot of life's pleasures, so if you've got one, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You'Re gonna really take pleasure in it. So they're a super fun bunch. And for, I think the third year in a row, Night moves is the band playing after. They are like, no, no. They don't even do seeger. I don't know if they even know that there's someone named Bob Seger. They. They. They have a lady lead singer who brings her own fan. So when she's singing, her hair's blowing. It's seriously one of the most cool things. It is really. It's really cool, actually. And last year, they did apple bottom jeans with the boots and the fur. And seeing all of these people in their 50s and 60s getting down to Flo Rida was pretty awesome. So that's my weekend. You got anything fun planned?

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, I would just say, like, if you're on the fence about coming out to the Neptune wine tasting on Saturday, there will Be a celebrity there. I found out late last night, whoa. Drew McFrizz will be in the house. So if you're like, I don't know. I don't know if I want to come down to it. 4:00 on Saturday, Greenwood 85th. You can meet somebody who. I mean, from almost night one, he's been a part of the fabric of tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, absolutely. That's a rare. That's an amazing. That's a rare sighting in these parts anymore, because now of his. His time in Austin, and also, we should specify, it's Neptune Coffee, not the theater. I mean, we love Neptune theater, and we're very proud of them and STG and all that, but they are making it more complicated for us because for a long time, there was only one Neptune in our life, and it was Neptune coffee. So that's where it's going to be. 85th in Greenwood. It's like five bucks to get in, but you get your wine tasting for that, right?

[Jennifer Flash]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

So that's a steal of a deal. What are we going to hear from the TBTL archives today?

[Jennifer Flash]

Today we're gonna go back in time just in honor of Drew McFrizz, back in time to Cooking with Sean Prezeen.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man. That was when we met. What I still feel was a terrifying side of you and Sean. It was so weird how you guys just went to such. You guys went to such a tough place.

[Jennifer Flash]

It turned into a. What is it? A Stanford prison experiment? It turned into that. And we didn't realize that was happening.

[Luke Burbank]

By the way, that's one of the smartest prisons you could get sent to is the Stanford Prison. It's pretty. Their mascots, kind of dumb. It's a tree. But it's a very, very smart prison.

[Jennifer Flash]

But it's. So we'll start with kind of the backstory, which is that we got really obsessed with these amazing meals that people were cooking in prisons just based on what they could get out of vending machines.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Flash]

And then that led us to try it ourselves, and then it turned into a sociological experiment. We didn't mean for it to, but our kind of hidden personalities came out, and we found out you were a little bit sniveling.

[Luke Burbank]

I would. How about. How about empathetic? How about nice?

[Jennifer Flash]

How about scared?

[Luke Burbank]

How about not putting a shiv in everything? I see. Like you and Dottore.

[Jennifer Flash]

Sean and I got oddly violent.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Flash]

You guys really in each other's face.

[Luke Burbank]

We had prison nicknames. And then. I don't know if this makes it into the tape or not. But the little. The sort of postscript on the story is that we got in so much trouble.

[Jennifer Flash]

It was the first time that management knew we existed.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Or any of the other shows and.

[Jennifer Flash]

Had any kind of comment. I mean, we had been. This was in January of 09, so we had been on the air for a year, and no one had had any comment ever about our show at all. Like, they did not ever listen. And then all of a sudden, there.

[Luke Burbank]

Were rules, mostly about not cooking mackerel in the studio. If I remember right, the worst part.

[Jennifer Flash]

About it is we had just paid $5 at the Goodwill for a hot plate, and then all of a sudden, we weren't allowed to use it anymore. It was, like, wasted.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And the sad part was that was our show's budget for the year, and we'd blown it on a hot plate that was now essentially totally banned on the premises. All right, so without further ado, let's take a listen to this gem from the TBTL archives. Welcome back to tbtl. Now, understand the brother here is caus.

[Jennifer Flash]

In an overlapsation situation.

[Luke Burbank]

My way of saying we're running a bit late for the news, but I just want to tell you, after we hear from Josh Kearns, we will engage in the process of deciding on the prison food that Sean will be preparing for us live and direct from cell block C. I don't know if that's even how they describe it. I'm just never been to prison or jail, but I like to talk tough, which I think is half of it. We're going to do hooking with Sean. We're not going to actually do the cooking, but we're going to talk about it a little bit because we're going to have Sean make us some prison food. A prison recipe. We'll hear about that in a moment. Deal with it. Kate Blanchett. Oh, man. Oh, Pavement. Why do you have to be so awesome all the time? That's the band that you're hearing right now. I. I didn't. It was not an ode to the sidewalks of Seattle, although I also love sidewalks. I kind of have a thing. I having lived in a house that was on a street that didn't have sidewalks, not because it was, you know, rural, but just because it was part the part of the city where they had never built them and then became too expensive, I will, if I, all within my power, always live in a part of town, wherever I live that has sidewalks. It changes your entire life. This is Sidewalk Talk with Luke Burbank. Thank you for joining us. Actually, it's tbtl, the show that's probably too beautiful to live. I think this mic thing might be too beautiful to live. I do this. It's funny to watch the different hosts and the tics that every radio host I've ever seen has tics. And like, there's a fellow on this station, I guess I won't name them in case for some reason. This is embarrassing, but I did some work with one of the other on air hosts here, and this person was constantly adjusting the headphone volume. Like 30 times a minute, they would adjust the headphone volume and it was just kind of as they were talking and thinking, they were just always kind of making the headphone level exactly right. And I thought, that's kind of weird. And then I realized that I constantly move the mic around while I'm talking to the point where I probably busted the mic arm in here, which is not good.

[Jennifer Flash]

And is it the first time? Haven't you already done that once before?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I wear it out a lot. You're supposed to just, like, put it in one place and then just talk into it. But I kind of move it when I want to say something, and what I need is a head mic, like the guy in the shamwell commercial.

[Jennifer Flash]

It's exactly Vince.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Can I get one of those? How's that coming, Robin, on your great quest to get Vince on the show?

[Jennifer Flash]

Oh, I. Well, I didn't know it was my quest. Well, I just found his contact information.

[Luke Burbank]

What's the. What's the good word? Have you. Have you heard back from. From his peeps or did you email him directly?

[Jennifer Flash]

No, she gave me the contact information and I emailed.

[Luke Burbank]

How's that looking?

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, we haven't heard anything yet.

[Luke Burbank]

Kevin James. If there's anyone funnier than Kevin James, I want names. I just wanted to see what that says. I noticed there was a drop in here called Kevin James I want names. Sorry about that. That was a very distracting thing I just did. Okay, well, we're. That would be really rad if we can get that guy, the. The Slap Chop ShamWow dude, and he can maybe give me a heads up on where I can get one of those mics because I really.

[Jennifer Flash]

You don't think Radio Shack can hook you up?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. I don't want to guess on something like that. It's very important to the show. Hey, Sean, do you have the. Do you have the music? Cooking with Sean music? Because this is actually talking about cooking with Sean. Which I don't know if that quite deserves the music.

[Jennifer Flash]

Oh yeah, definitely.

[Sean Dettore]

That music rocks.

[Luke Burbank]

We've got an up cupping. Up cupping. We've got an up cupping Cooking with Sean segment where the sort of the conceit will be prison cuisine. Now this is a little known aspect of prison life is that you know, you have a lot of time on your hands, you're hungry and you would like to maybe make some food, but you don't have a conventional kitchen. So guys in prison and women, I'm told, become incredibly adept at these. I should have asked Drew McFriz about this actually last week because I've heard stories of people taking like Jolly Ranchers and melting them down in this like homemade convection oven that's made out of a hairdryer and a Tupperware box and then spinning the melted Jolly Rancher into roses or making these. My friend Jim's dad went to jail for a while because he was in a protest and a guy there made him this amazing burrito that was made out of items from the snack machine like crushed up Doritos and milk and this other thing. And he said it was like the most awesome thing he'd ever eaten.

[Sean Dettore]

That's sweet.

[Luke Burbank]

So there's lots of prison cuisine and we thought, you know, Sean. Well, I'm just gonna say it be good for you to be prepared for this kind of thing, Sean.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah, it's best I learn, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Yep. You don't want to, you know, be caught unaware if someday you, you run into some kind of trouble, which we hope and pray doesn't happen.

[Sean Dettore]

Well, I am getting a new tattoo, a little teardrop. I'm planning on it for next week.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah, that's, that's good. You're taking it very seriously, this cooking with Sean.

[Sean Dettore]

Heck yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Alright. So Jen, where did you. Where does one even go for prison recipes?

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, I went to a place called Friends beyond the wall.com.

[Luke Burbank]

There'S a pink Floyd fan group.

[Jennifer Flash]

And they have a little section called the Cellblock Cafe.

[Sean Dettore]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you tell us about a few of the recipes there in the Cellblock Cafe?

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, first of all, I'm a little bit confused because almost all of them require I guess a hot plate. I don't know if most prisons have maybe a community room that has a hot plate.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounds dangerous.

[Jennifer Flash]

I know. I wouldn't think that you're allowed to just have something that heats up, but they all. Well, the recipe that I found is called Cheez its mackerel and it's sent in by Carnell, who is in a New York prison.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, this person is currently. These are from people who are currently incarcerated.

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, he may have been released since the time that he came up with this recipe, but at the time, Kevin James.

[Luke Burbank]

If there's anyone funnier than Kevin James, I want name. That was also not what I wanted to play there. This is what I wanted to play. Cheez its. Cheez its. Cheez its. You know, one of the wonderful things about this software we have is that what it lacks in clarity and simple organization, it makes up for in sometimes playing the totally wrong drop. Even though you've. Even though you've clicked on the Cheez Its drop. Cheez its. Cheez its. Cheez its. It plays someone talking about Kevin James during an NBA game. That'll happen, though. All right, so this is called Cheez its. Cheez its what?

[Jennifer Flash]

Mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Cheez its mackerel.

[Sean Dettore]

Holy mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So this is a fish.

[Jennifer Flash]

This is. Yeah. And I assume these are all things that are found in the vending machine in the prison. It's Cheez its crackers, some flour, a teaspoon of any seasoning you have.

[Sean Dettore]

Great.

[Jennifer Flash]

Some water, a can of mackerel, and hopefully a small amount of cooking oil.

[Luke Burbank]

This is, this is actually the kind of cooking for me. Like, there's no, there's no assuming that you have any of the items.

[Jennifer Flash]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Or that you have the proper way to prepare them. It's just kind of like, well, this would be the best case scenario, but if you have to use pruno prison wine that you've been making under your, you know, celly's, your roomies bed, that's. That's fine too. That can, that can stand in for whatever else.

[Jennifer Flash]

And since we're kind of assuming that Sean's kitchen is a stand in for a prison cell, we won't even. We'll let him choose. It says any seasoning you have. Just a teaspoon so you can choose.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you remember the story of something I like to call chevre that turned out.

[Jennifer Flash]

Should we choose a seasoning? Is that what you're saying?

[Sean Dettore]

I have. I have Asian five spice seasoning.

[Luke Burbank]

Ooh, I love. I do love that.

[Jennifer Flash]

Okay.

[Sean Dettore]

I have. Johnny's. Have lots of stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, you know what, Sean, you're the chef.

[Sean Dettore]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Cooking with Shonda Tor. You pick it, but just please don't. Don't do like skittles flavor or something. You laugh, but that's. When I said that. Didn't you just think to yourself, jen, it's very possible he would choose skittles.

[Sean Dettore]

They don't have skittle seasoning.

[Luke Burbank]

You've looked for it. I know.

[Jennifer Flash]

Does anybody have a hot plate? Anyone?

[Luke Burbank]

No. I mean, a hot plate is just a stove.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah, it's one that you can just plug in anywhere.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh. Cause we're gonna actually do it here.

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, I thought we could. Or, you know, Sean can make it at home. We can heat it up.

[Sean Dettore]

Can I use a hairdryer, or is that only for the roses? Cause seriously, I would do that. The food.

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, what it says is.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. What's the cooking directions? Could he even make it here? If we were able to get a hot plate.

[Jennifer Flash]

Crush the cheez its in a bowl until they are crumbs. Mix flour and seasoning in a bowl with water until it's a batter and is somewhat pasty. Split the mackerel in half and clean both halves. Dip the mackerel in the batter and place it in the bowl with the crushed cheez its to coat. Then place on dry surface. Whatever you have. Heat oil in frying pan until oil is hot. Place the battered mackerel in the oil until it is golden brown, and serve.

[Sean Dettore]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually, sounds delicious. I haven't had dinner yet, and I would shank someone for that right now if I could.

[Jennifer Flash]

I feel like it would not be as good if we didn't have it right out of the frying pan is the thing. I have a hot plate, but it's to warm your. Keep your coffee warm at your desk. So it's kind of small, but we could try it.

[Sean Dettore]

And I don't have a hot plate.

[Luke Burbank]

I bet a quick trip to Value Village could probably turn up a hot plate.

[Jennifer Flash]

Mm.

[Luke Burbank]

With ease. When are we. When are we gonna actually try to do this cooking session?

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, I was thinking Thursday.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, let's. I'll try to see what I can do about getting a hot plate between now and Thursday.

[Jennifer Flash]

Because, you know, when you're staying in a motel, you often, you know, use a hot plate, so.

[Luke Burbank]

Really?

[Jennifer Flash]

Mm.

[Luke Burbank]

What motels have you? I mean. Well, that's actually usually. I think a hot plate in a motel is. Things have gone pretty wrong because that's usually used for cooking your dope. Cause, like, this is the thing. You either are staying in a hotel that has a kitchenette that's basically a tiny kitchen, or you're just giving up on trying to cook in your room and you're just gonna sleep there and then go somewhere else where they make food. When the hot plate is present?

[Jennifer Flash]

No, when You've fallen on hard times and you're living in a motel room. You have to have a few. You have to have a microwave and hopefully you have a hot plate.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. But I just.

[Jennifer Flash]

Your little meals.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, but you were saying like you'd had personal experience with this, and I was thinking it doesn't sound like the Jenn Andrews that I know.

[Jennifer Flash]

No, I haven't had personal experience, but I know a lot of people.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. There are lots of people who live in efficiency apartments and have hot plates. I'm aware of where hot plates fit into people's lives, but I'm saying it's not usually. It's not the ideal situation.

[Jennifer Flash]

In my experience, it's like prison.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm trying to be less hurtful, and then you just made it more hurtful.

[Jennifer Flash]

I'm not being hurtful at all. I'm saying I think we're going to have no problem finding hot plates because they have a genuine use, which is if you're living in a motel, you can use one.

[Luke Burbank]

You said someone who has to use a hot plate is like they're living in prison. That's what you. That's. That's essentially what you just said.

[Jennifer Flash]

I'm saying that when you have fallen on hard times and you have to live within a motel room, it's like prison. It's horrible.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the elephant in the room I was trying to not talk about. We might have people listening from a hotel room right now, standing over a hot plate with top ramen in it.

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, and thank God we're not sitting here saying, how fun. What an adventure. That's rough.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me move on to my second question about this, which is should we lock Sean in the studio while he's making it so that it is prison esque? Like, should we lock him? The problem is he's the only one that knows how to run the board. Because what I was saying is we should lock him in your stu in your room in there and have him make it.

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, here's what we can do is I have a little frying pan, like a really small one, and I have my little keep my magorum hot plate. So, I mean, that's really in the spirit of prison. It's really using what you have.

[Luke Burbank]

Things have really gotten bad for you, haven't they, with your hot plate and this.

[Sean Dettore]

And this is an entree. Do we need a salad? Like a shoelace salad or anything?

[Jennifer Flash]

Well, I thought we.

[Luke Burbank]

Shoelace salad.

[Jennifer Flash]

I've been saving our canned rum cake for a special occasion. And I think this is it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So this is. Hold on. Let's back it up just a little bit, if we could. It's canned mackerel.

[Sean Dettore]

Mm.

[Jennifer Flash]

It's canned fish.

[Luke Burbank]

That sounds.

[Sean Dettore]

I've had canned salmon before. It wasn't that good. Yeah, but I'm willing to try anything.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely. Well, no, this is about the experience.

[Jennifer Flash]

And dare I say, another elephant in the room.

[Luke Burbank]

Dare on.

[Jennifer Flash]

That is not gonna smell good. That is. That is not gonna smell good.

[Luke Burbank]

Intern Robbie.

[Jennifer Flash]

Jar.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, we haven't fried canned mackerel. I mean, that's. That's. That might be taking it to another level.

[Jennifer Flash]

It'll be okay. Oh, okay. I guess it's in your booth, Jen.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Flash]

It'll be fine. It'll be good.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. I do think it would be fun to have Sean actually make it on site.

[Jennifer Flash]

I do too.

[Luke Burbank]

And you're right, it is probably only edible if it's still. If it still has the, you know, the glint of the freshly. The grease it was freshly placed in.

[Jennifer Flash]

Now, this serving size is for one. And so what I think is we should double it and then there'll be enough for all of us to have a little taste. All four of us.

[Sean Dettore]

And it seems pretty simple, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

Alright, well, this is exciting stuff. Was this the only prison recipe you saw or did you just pick it out of a bunch of other ones?

[Jennifer Flash]

I picked it out of a bunch of other ones.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you tell us?

[Jennifer Flash]

A lot of them have a lot of. I think they're assuming you had access to the prison kitchen. Maybe because they were really involved.

[Luke Burbank]

I see.

[Jennifer Flash]

This one was the one I thought, you know, I can see that being a prison recipe. It's really simple. You don't need much. You just kind of use what you have.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder if we have listeners in prison. I mean, there are prisoners who get radios. If you're in prison, will you send us a letter or an email or something and a picture of yourself for Robin? Because that would be. I'd love to actually hear from some folks that are incarcerated right now who. Who have any kinds of, like, cool recipes that they've. They've come up with or something. Send us some kind of. Some kind of note and let us know about it because I am really, really fascinated by this whole thing. There was this guy who made these pralines. He was in prison in the south for a long time, you know, 20, 30 years, and he developed this praline recipe and it was so good that all the guards loved it when they finally let him out he had this booming praline business. Business from prison cooking.

[Jennifer Flash]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. NPR did this series called Hidden Kitchens. And it was all about just food and stuff people make. And it was about prison kitchens and this guy's pralines. If you want to send us some prison pralines, we would eat those.

[Sean Dettore]

Cool.

[Luke Burbank]

Just write your inmate number on there so we know who to find if Robin gets sick. So it's this Thursday?

[Jennifer Flash]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

We need a hot plate.

[Jennifer Flash]

I'll bring in the hot plate.

[Luke Burbank]

How about canned mackerel? Sean gonna go buy all this?

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah, yeah. You give me the recipe, Jen? Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. No chevre.

[Jennifer Flash]

All he needs to get is mascarpone. He needs to get the cheez its and the mackerel and he needs to pick his seasoning. And I'll bring in the flour and the water.

[Sean Dettore]

And that's gonna be the funnest part is picking that seasoning. I got a whole shelf full.

[Jennifer Flash]

That's where your cooking comes into play.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, Sean, it's Now it's almost 9:00. You still haven't gone and gotten a pea popper windscreen. You had one job. Well, you actually had a lot of jobs.

[Sean Dettore]

Actually, I. Maybe I'll run. I don't even know if engineering is still open, but that's, I imagine where I would.

[Jennifer Flash]

No, it's all locked up down there.

[Sean Dettore]

I could just steal one from another mic.

[Luke Burbank]

You might have to.

[Jennifer Flash]

There we go.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is exciting. I'm actually. I'm just hungry enough right now that.

[Jennifer Flash]

That cheez its mackerel sounds good.

[Luke Burbank]

Cheez its mackerel sounds pretty. Pretty darn good. So I'm looking forward to Thursday night. Make sure everybody, you tune in for that cooking with Shawn Dett. My name is Luke Burbank. We get sponsorship from Chateau St. Michel. They are located in Woodinville, Washington. I was at Barolo yesterday enjoying too many glasses of Chateau St. Michel. Is there flash. I know this is supposed to be an ad for Chateau San Michel, but is there a place that's friggin better than the Barolo Happy Hour?

[Jennifer Flash]

No, the happy hour can't be beat. And it starts at three.

[Luke Burbank]

I know it's dangerous. Dangerous stuff. Anyway, Chateau San Michelle, they. They're the maker of many delicious wines. We hear all the time from the tens of listeners who enjoy it from sea to shining sea. If you happen to maybe live in a remote mountain cabin, not near a grocery store or wine shop, you can order and have it delivered to your remote mountain cabin via the postal service or I don't know, FedEx. I'm not sure who they actually use. But the way you get that going is you go to tbtl.net, on the right side of the page, you click on the Chateau St. Michel button, and you order that stuff right up. You can also join the vintage reserve club, which you pay a quarterly fee. And they just mail you wine. Cool wine, too. Like, new stuff they're trying out and old stuff they're trying out and all kinds of exciting things. Chateau San Michel are the official wine sponsor of TBTL. Chateau St. Michel, Woodinville, Washington. Let's take it to a whole new level. Let's do some cooking with Sean Dottore. Is this on cd, Sean, or is this on the.

[Sean Dettore]

It's. It's an audio vault.

[Luke Burbank]

Can you put it on repeat?

[Sean Dettore]

No, I wish I would.

[Luke Burbank]

Make a lot of sense, wouldn't it?

[Sean Dettore]

I should record it into our news box because I can loop it in there.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, next time.

[Jennifer Flash]

A little bit goes a long way.

[Luke Burbank]

Jen feels that one one airing of the Cooking with Shonda Tory music will probably. She's probably enough. All right, so this is, as always, going to take a little bit of. A little bit of trickery. Just. I'll set the scene for you, everybody. Out there in radio land, we've got ingens bulletproof booth, which is the most airtight section of the radio studio, which.

[Jennifer Flash]

Is why I'm still confused as to why that's why we're doing where we're doing one place that has no ventilation.

[Luke Burbank]

Contain the stink. First of all, it does. Look, there's an air vent in the ceiling, which is as. It's. You know, that's as ventilated as this giant place is. Here's the thing. If that becomes a stink hole, which I fear it will, the only people that will have to deal with it will be Libby Denkman.

[Jennifer Flash]

Phil, he's already made a joke about it on the blog, so I feel like she's okay.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. My fear is if we do it in here or we do it in Sean's room, that, like, Dave Ross will have our head tomorrow. Dorie Monson. And then if we do it in there, Ron and Don will be mad because they work out of. As do Greg and Jane work out of where Sean is. So I just think that what we're trying to do is create a firewall for the stink. So in Jen's studio, which is just this tiny little glass studio that has, you know, two doors that have it sealed off, basically, we've got the hot plate heating up.

[Jennifer Flash]

Where's the mackerel? I don't see the mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Canned. The canned mackerel is in the studio in your room.

[Jennifer Flash]

Is the oil heating up?

[Luke Burbank]

No, just the hot plate is heating up.

[Jennifer Flash]

Okay, the oil might.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, all right, so let me. Let me just. Jen, you can. You can set about your business here. I'll describe the scene for everybody. All right, Well, I just mean you can help your son. You're Sean's sous chef. You're getting the oil started. Sean's gonna do the actual cooking, but I need Sean to play the music.

[Sean Dettore]

The oil will get too hot when I'm preparing everything else.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. I'm still reeling from the whole because of you, cheers to you situation. What's that, Jennifer? I don't know. Who do I look like, Mario Batali? So here's the thing. Sean is going to make us some prison food. Some prisine.

[Sean Dettore]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

That Jen selected out of a recipe book. And now this is food that is supposedly able to be cooked in a prison cell. This is not prison food, like from the cafeteria. This is prison food that you could make with contraband items and a hot plate. And so supposed to be two cups, Jen. All right, Sean, come on in here. Come on in here. We're just gonna. We're just gonna have to ghost ride the whip a little bit because we, you know, we need. We need Sean's cooking services now. They're called for here.

[Jennifer Flash]

So Sean needs to make the batter, and I will. I'm crunching up the Cheetos.

[Luke Burbank]

The cheez its.

[Jennifer Flash]

Oh, babe, I don't ever measure.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the two cups. The two cups doesn't matter as much as that. You have enough to cook.

[Jennifer Flash]

We just have to have enough.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, the recipe that Jen selected was cheez its. Mackerel covered in cheez its.

[Jennifer Flash]

Right. The cheez its is like the breading.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. And so, Sean, do you want me to help open the mackerel, or do you got that? You're opening the can. I'm gonna open the canned mackerel now.

[Jennifer Flash]

And I also brought a real can of mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you're on. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you're on. You're working, Sean. Yeah, you're good? All right, so I'm gonna. Here. I don't even want to open this can of mackerel in here, you guys.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yes, you can open the mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, everyone, hooray for you.

[Jennifer Flash]

Since we can't play it anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, we're not all.

[Jennifer Flash]

Say it.

[Luke Burbank]

We're not allowed to make fun of that anymore. I'm gonna call that guy and try to get him to send me a letter, a registered letter.

[Sean Dettore]

I think I'm gonna try to follow what listener. I forget his name in D.C. said Jim. Jim. And coat the mackerel a little bit first with some of the flour.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah, let's get that batter going pretty quick.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I'm opening the can of mackerel. Sean, what are you doing over there? You're opening some flour?

[Sean Dettore]

I'm opening some flour. I got a cup of flour here. One thing that we don't have is water.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, we have wine.

[Jennifer Flash]

Is that okay?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I love. I love that with all of the different things that needed to happen. Jen, you made sure to open the wine first, which is not even in the recipe.

[Jennifer Flash]

Here's the thing is, if we're gonna do this in the spirit of prison, we just need to work with what we have. And we are lucky enough, we traded some favors. We have some wine. I don't want to say anything more about it.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. That's right.

[Sean Dettore]

Smell that mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, this makes me nervous. Okay, I'm opening the mackerel. Oh, dear. Gosh. Yeah, the mackerel I brought.

[Jennifer Flash]

Oh, you said you had extra bowls, right?

[Luke Burbank]

You guys, this mackerel stinks to high heaven. Oh, God, that mackerel needs to go into that studio. I'm not kidding you. We are going to get in so much trouble tomorrow.

[Sean Dettore]

Okay, I'm just going to drain it into here because we're not obviously using a measuring cup.

[Jennifer Flash]

No, no measuring. Because they don't have measuring cups in prison.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Okay, well, Sean, don't worry about taking the tin off the lid. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Sean is now draining the mackerel he's into. Into a cup. He's trying to get rid of the mackerel juice. It smells like. You know in Star wars when. When. When Luke Skywalker almost freezes to death and Han Solo. Or who. Which one? Yeah, they have to cut. They have to cut open one of.

[Jennifer Flash]

Those weird how they clean stuff in prison. They just kind of wipe.

[Luke Burbank]

They use their sweatshirt. That's what Jen's doing. Okay. You know, we have very effectively recreated the prison environment. He's got to go get some stuff. Okay. I just want. It's 9, 11, and 24 seconds. And I want to say, for the record, I really think that that can of Mackerel should be in the studio with the door closed.

[Jennifer Flash]

You're being so ridiculous about this mackerel. You got one email from somebody, and you let it get to you. You got it.

[Luke Burbank]

I did. I'm afraid of the other hosts on the studio.

[Jennifer Flash]

You're not gonna make it in here, man. You can't let something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

What's your prison nickname? You need a. You need a nickname, like, I don't know, Bunny.

[Jennifer Flash]

Bunny.

[Luke Burbank]

What's your prison nickname, Sean?

[Sean Dettore]

Oh, that was mine.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah. I was gonna say, what's yours, Jen?

[Jennifer Flash]

I'll be Granny.

[Luke Burbank]

That's good. That would be like a prison. And can mine be.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah, it's like how the big guy is tiny.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I be. Can mine be awkward?

[Jennifer Flash]

No.

[Sean Dettore]

What I'm doing here is I've got my flour. I've got my cup. My cup of flour, and I'm putting in. I chose the spice. I chose was Chinese style. Five spice.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice, nice. Just eyeball it there, brother. You're in the big house.

[Jennifer Flash]

Come on now.

[Luke Burbank]

There you go. That's good. That's good.

[Sean Dettore]

That's good.

[Luke Burbank]

He's just putting the five spice in.

[Sean Dettore]

I'm just gonna mix that with my fingers.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Sean Dettore]

Or so.

[Luke Burbank]

And then make sure.

[Jennifer Flash]

Someday we're gonna. Someday we're gonna have a spoon in this prison cell. I believe it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yep.

[Sean Dettore]

Hey, Dare to dream for shanking.

[Jennifer Flash]

So we don't have one. What is gonna happen if somebody comes after us?

[Sean Dettore]

Well, you should have thought of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Granny, before you did the crime.

[Jennifer Flash]

I got the wine, and I'm not even gonna tell you how I did it.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's just. Let's just say it was one of the most painful things to smuggle in the history of this prison.

[Sean Dettore]

Okay. So awkward.

[Jennifer Flash]

You can just leave it to yourself over there.

[Sean Dettore]

I'm gonna go into the other studio and. And take the mackerel out of its home.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Okay. Bring it in here, I guess.

[Sean Dettore]

Oh, should I bring.

[Jennifer Flash]

Wait a minute. You need the water to make the.

[Sean Dettore]

Battery or the wine?

[Luke Burbank]

The wine.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah.

[Sean Dettore]

But actually, I wanted to coat the fish first with the dryness. Like.

[Luke Burbank]

I see Sean is taking this very seriously, and I think that's a good thing. That's why he's the chef. That's why he's Chef Sean Detroit. Oh, my gosh. He's just dumped out. He's dumping the jack mackerel out of the can.

[Jennifer Flash]

That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. I'm gonna go get the camera.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Sean Dettore]

I feel like it's alive in my hands.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh. It's. That is amazing. It's like. It's. It's mackerel. They've chopped the head and the tail off. And it's three of them. It's three of them, skin and all, just sitting there like, imagine. Oh, dear. Dear goodness. This is. This is gonna be a disaster. Sean's now taking. He's taking the spine out of the fish. Is this. Is this fish? Has it been cooked? Is it raw?

[Jennifer Flash]

No, no, it's been cooked. You can't can it. It's been cooked.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so Sean's deboning. You know what I wish we had right now? Cooking with shond dottore music.

[Jennifer Flash]

Ever since you got to this cell, you've been all about what I wish I had. What we do here is we just work with what we got. You want a song? Say it. I'll hum it.

[Sean Dettore]

We don't got time.

[Luke Burbank]

We got nothing but time. I don't know about you guys. I'm doing. I'm doing a life sentence for deciding that it was a good idea to just call a random phone number on the Internet during our radio show.

[Sean Dettore]

I think Granny's going crazy.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think Granny's going stir crazy.

[Jennifer Flash]

Don't even start, boys.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so you. Okay, Granny, you have very effectively now pureed those cheez its. I hope you've been watching with your pestle.

[Jennifer Flash]

That's right. That's what I can do.

[Luke Burbank]

That's really good.

[Jennifer Flash]

Pulverizing. Pulverizer. That's what they wanted to call me, but I said no, just call me.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I be Pulverizer?

[Jennifer Flash]

No. Awkward. I fell in love with immediately.

[Sean Dettore]

I'm trying to get all these bones out as best I can.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Sean Dettore]

I might leave some in for Granny.

[Luke Burbank]

She likes that. She says it keeps her hard. All right, so Sean's still deboning the jack mackerel.

[Sean Dettore]

These are somewhat.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Okay. And now they're being. Granny is tossing them in the flour and then.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Putting them on top of the recipe paper. This is exactly. This is exactly like prison. Because we don't have any of the right stuff.

[Sean Dettore]

No, we don't.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, we're like. It's.

[Jennifer Flash]

We sure don't.

[Luke Burbank]

We kind of have.

[Jennifer Flash]

You know, we decided not to bring a spoon.

[Luke Burbank]

We have. We just use the measuring thing that he was using for the five spice. Yeah, Granny, we. We also, because we're doing a radio show, there's a certain amount of pressure to get it in in a certain amount of time. Whereas if we were in our cell, it'd be like, when is the next time the guard walks by? So I think this is very analogous to if we were actually in prison. Can you hand me the camera, Jen, so I can take a picture?

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Because now what we've got laid out in front of me, I gotta say, for all of the bellyaching that I've been doing about the smell and everything, what is right in front of me now is some pretty appetizing little pieces of jack mackerel that are all breaded.

[Jennifer Flash]

I don't think we have time for those. Let's just work with what we got here, okay?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. Sean, I think we're in. Good. We've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

[Jennifer Flash]

What are supposed to go in there?

[Sean Dettore]

Let's see, while the fish is on there, we'll say.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I just took a picture, because it'll last longer. At least that's what I was told growing up. They don't hear my jokes there. You know the problem?

[Jennifer Flash]

We've heard them all. That's the problem. When you sit in a room like this together 24 7.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you do. Really.

[Sean Dettore]

You're being a little bit too nice. And I don't know where this is gonna take us later. I just don't know if I trust you all the way.

[Jennifer Flash]

You shouldn't, brother.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so I'm glad you're off mic when you do your prison talk, because it's the most unconvincing thing I've ever heard. Now, what are you guys making there? You're making more. You're making a batter that didn't work.

[Sean Dettore]

This is way too. This is not battery that doesn't work.

[Jennifer Flash]

What we have to do is just move to the cheetah.

[Sean Dettore]

I went away for battery, and this is not.

[Jennifer Flash]

We need something to put these on.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. They're battering.

[Sean Dettore]

This is horrible.

[Jennifer Flash]

Okay, Sean, if you can just bring over that.

[Sean Dettore]

Why don't I add some of the macarons?

[Jennifer Flash]

Oh, no, no. Give me that Office Max thing. It's all fine. Everything's okay.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, so they've been. They've been doing the breading.

[Jennifer Flash]

Throw this one on the. Throw this one on the skillet.

[Sean Dettore]

This isn't even bread.

[Jennifer Flash]

It's fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Gosh, Sean thinks that he's at the Cordon Bleu, AKA the Sorbonne.

[Jennifer Flash]

We don't have time, Sean.

[Luke Burbank]

Sean needs to get the oil going also.

[Jennifer Flash]

No, the oil is going. It's super hot. You're going to hear it in a second. If he has his microphone.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, can you turn that mic on, Sean in there so we can hear.

[Sean Dettore]

Getting paged by the doctor in the commissary?

[Jennifer Flash]

I think he's gone over to the dark side. There's no doctor in the commissary.

[Luke Burbank]

I know. I really think that. I think that Sean might have just lost his mind. Oh, he's dropping. Okay, he's dropping the mackerel bits into. Dropping the mackerel bits into the oil. The mackerel has now been taken out of the can. Somewhat deboned, somewhat floured, somewhat battered, somewhat rolled in Cheetos. And now the oil is somewhat warm. So this is gonna be somewhat tasty. It smells actually pretty good.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah, the cheez its and the wine batter. The cheez its and the wine batter is fantastic.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And, you know, the wine without the cheez its is even better.

[Sean Dettore]

The oil's not even hot enough.

[Jennifer Flash]

Okay, well, let's wait a second. You've cranked it up. It takes just seconds.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, here's. Here's a good, I think, plan for us right now. Let's take a short break. We'll get our act together here a little bit. Not a lot, but just a little bit. And we will get the oil hot enough, and then we'll submerge.

[Jennifer Flash]

Get it out. Come on.

[Luke Burbank]

Sean's cheez its and mackerel concoction here. Because this is Cooking with Sean Dottorre. More TBT in a moment. Welcome back to TBTL on News Talk 973 Cairo FM. I thought I had fixed the microphone in here, but I clearly hadn't. Ooh, you can start to hear. Let me. I'm sorry. Let me turn down Ersher. You hear that?

[Jennifer Flash]

Mm.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the holy mackerel. That's Sean in his. In his own personal cell. Jen, will you. Can you do a little, like, just kind of do a quick video tape of Sean in his. In his cooking repose there? We're doing Cooking with Sean Dettore. And because of our interview last week with Drew McFrizz and his talk of having been in federal prison, we thought it would only make sense that our next Cooking with Sean segment actually involve prison food, something that you could make in a prison cell. And so Jen found this recipe for mackerel fried in cheez its and some kind of batter. And so here we are. We've got right in front of me, Sean and Jen deboned. They opened the can of mackerel. They deboned it a little bit. They rolled it around in some Flour and rolled it around in some crushed up Cheetos or Cheez Its rather. When Jen, whose prison name is Granny, was crushing up the Cheez Its, she looked at me and she said she was sending a message with how she was crushing up those Cheez Its. And I, I, I'm now, sadly I'm now her, I'm now her bitch. So that's deal with it. It's always hard to hear that from a friend that suck it Awkward that they. It's always. But when I came into the prison with a name like Awkward, I had to know it wasn't going to end well. Alright, so Sean, how's it going in there? What's the latest? You're grilling up. You're frying up the mackerel on a hot plate.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah. So they seem to be just about done if we want to sample. I think that we should do that.

[Jennifer Flash]

You need a plate.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't want to sample those. Those are going to be so hot. I think that we should start cooking some more. Yeah. Take them off and put them on like a paper towel to drain a little bit. And the thing that I was saying right before the break is that we have, through our own lack of planning, managed to really create the prison ambience in here. Because when you're in a cell you're working with a lot of improvised, you know, cooking implements and like the ingredients, you don't have it exactly right. And that's much like our scene here. So let's see.

[Sean Dettore]

Hot often.

[Luke Burbank]

There's round one. It looks, it looks kind of like.

[Jennifer Flash]

Fried chicken and fresh oil.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah, I should probably do that.

[Jennifer Flash]

Or do we just want to deal with what we've got here? I mean, is anybody really gonna.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no. Here's what I think we need to actually go to a break here in a moment. I think that we should have Sean place the new batch of Macron.

[Sean Dettore]

The new batch.

[Jennifer Flash]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

That can be your prison name, Gremlin, because you make trouble and you shouldn't eat, you shouldn't be fed after midnight.

[Jennifer Flash]

Do you need oil?

[Sean Dettore]

I've got some more in there. Thanks, grandma.

[Jennifer Flash]

Okay, Granny.

[Luke Burbank]

Come on, Granny. Awkward and Gremlin is that it's the.

[Jennifer Flash]

Best prison cell ever.

[Luke Burbank]

Isn't it awesome that we all got put together after we used to have a radio show?

[Jennifer Flash]

I know, that is great. It's like the last episode of Seinfeld.

[Luke Burbank]

That is so.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah, totally.

[Luke Burbank]

So lucky. Okay, so I think that the last batch here of mackerel is the, is the best one or the second batch of mackerel. It looks. Lots of cheez its on it. And you know what? I have to say this because I was so worried about the smell. It doesn't really stink that bad, right, lan, how would you describe the smell on a scale of 1 being not fishy at all and 10 being. It's okay, Luke. It's okay. He's plugging his nose, ladies and gentlemen. That's not a good sign. I think it doesn't stink as bad as I was worried it would.

[Jennifer Flash]

I think our bigger worry at this point is the bones. So it's all, you know, eat lightly.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Eat carefully.

[Sean Dettore]

Okay. I'm gonna go run in there.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, so Sean's got his next batch of mackerel. Sean, just leave that mic on so we can hear the sizzle. I like that my NPR roots are showing a little ambient sound there. It's beautiful. Really beautiful. Are you gonna promise not to put this in the microwave when you're done? No. Oh, no, no, I didn't. I never. That's. I don't make promises I can't keep. I might have it for lunch tomorrow. I might need to warm it up with a little rice. You're gonna do that at home, right? There's no way I'm allowed to bring any of this mackerel into the house. For sure. Okay. All right, it's 9:30. We're gonna be back with more TBTL and the conclusion of this Cooking with Sean Dettore Prison Food edition. First, though.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah, make me a filet, melon or mignon.

[Luke Burbank]

Welcome back to tbtl, where we're cooking with Sean Dottore. Excuse me. Where we're cooking with Gremlin. Jen said an interesting thing during the break, which is that we're joking about being in prison and everything. And I was shooting a little video. But immediately during the video, when Jen was in her prison Persona, she was like, kind of tough and in charge. And Sean was just simmering and really surly, but scary. Like he was just not saying very much, but it was terrifying. And I was awkwardly, nervously, just trying to make jokes just to leaven the mood. Cause I was scared of you guys.

[Jennifer Flash]

And I think that's probably what we would be in prison. I think that's pretty close to the personalities, the Personas that we would adopt to get by.

[Sean Dettore]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, so we've made here. I haven't really, but Sean, with the assistance of. Of Jen, what he's made is some mackerel rolled in flour, rolled in cheez. Its. And then they grilled it up on. On a hot plate. On a pan that's on a hot plate. Now, this recipe was. Was gotten off the Internet, and it's.

[Jennifer Flash]

Supposedly Friends beyond the Walls.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the name of the website, by the way. If they have a phone number, don't call it, because someone might pick it up in a cell, and that will be really bad radio.

[Jennifer Flash]

And this recipe came from their. Their cellblock cafe.

[Luke Burbank]

So this is supposedly something you could make with things you can get from the vending machine and the commissary. And I guess we've gotten confirmation from Drew McFrizz that you cannot. You don't get a hot plate in federal prison. But that doesn't mean in. In state prison, you might not be able to get a hot plate. Maybe there's something people share.

[Jennifer Flash]

From what I understand, they. They do have, like, a community kitchen in a lot of the lower security prisons where you cook. But your ingredients, how you get them, you know, it's just from the vending machine.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, well, here it is.

[Jennifer Flash]

And then Drew was also saying that you can buy things, right? So maybe you could have, like, flour or spices, you know, mailed to you or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, here. Here. Right in front of me is now the. The piece de resistance, please.

[Sean Dettore]

Thanks, Granny.

[Luke Burbank]

Please. Yeah, everyone use your. Everyone please remember to use their prison names except me, because mine's awkward.

[Sean Dettore]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

It's actually awkward. That's my actual prison name. And I don't. I can't believe that I requested that I.

[Jennifer Flash]

And I got white because I knew.

[Sean Dettore]

We were having white fish and because you're racist.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly, because that's the gang you would align yourself with in prison. White Power Bill. Whereas I would be a friend of Judy, I would follow Tobias Funke, and I would say White Power Bill. You have to. You have to learn how to love White Power Bill. All right, shall we do this? Should we. Should we do the taste test on this mackerel? It's all for fried up.

[Sean Dettore]

Let's do it.

[Luke Burbank]

It's really.

[Sean Dettore]

Are you gonna try some of that or some of the old.

[Jennifer Flash]

That's pretty hot.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Okay. Okay, we're gonna eat first. We're eat a little bit of batch one.

[Sean Dettore]

Careful, the bones. There could be some.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, batch one. Here we go. Grilled prison mackerel. I'm not gonna lie to you. This is delicious. This is so good. I'm not kidding. Are you guys with me?

[Jennifer Flash]

Shockingly good.

[Sean Dettore]

I was just gonna say, you know, we should actually eat some cheez its with this too.

[Jennifer Flash]

This is like when you're. When you're camping and you make.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jennifer Flash]

The best thing you ever tasted.

[Luke Burbank]

This is, like, amazing. Okay. It's really crispy because you guys grilled it up in the oil, so it's very crispy, just like the colonel would do it. So it has a kind of a fried chicken y thing going. The inside of it, though, is still somewhat moist, and I'm going for the. I'm going for round two.

[Jennifer Flash]

This is really good. And with a nice white wine. It's lovely.

[Luke Burbank]

It's. Yeah, it's like a giant sardine. It's like a giant really salty, but kind of breaded. And you know what? I'm committing a crime on the way home so that I can go to prison so that I can eat like this every day.

[Jennifer Flash]

If you bring this recipe, you'll be the most popular inmate ever.

[Sean Dettore]

They're gonna love you, boy.

[Jennifer Flash]

You know, this might be our most successful cooking with Sean ever.

[Luke Burbank]

Hands down. I'm willing to say it. Hands down. This is the best food that we've ever. That you guys, that Sean has ever managed to prepare.

[Jennifer Flash]

It's great.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I'm gonna have a little more wine.

[Jennifer Flash]

I had no idea we would end up fine dining tonight.

[Luke Burbank]

How long. How many years are you guys doing? I'm actually. I'm thinking about carving a swastika into my forehead for my parole hearing because this is living.

[Sean Dettore]

I've been in for 10, but it feels like I've only done three.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it flies by when you're.

[Jennifer Flash]

I think if we get to be together in our cell and have cheez. Its mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Flash]

I don't think it gets better than that outside or inside the wall.

[Sean Dettore]

You think? Got it. Holy mackerel.

[Luke Burbank]

Three bros broing it up.

[Sean Dettore]

And I think I deboned it pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

I haven't had a bone yet.

[Jennifer Flash]

I have not had a bone yet. I'm going for seconds as well.

[Luke Burbank]

This is so delicious.

[Sean Dettore]

I'm on my third piece.

[Luke Burbank]

Awkward.

[Jennifer Flash]

Stop bragging about how much you've had.

[Luke Burbank]

Awkward. That's my name. Don't wear it out. Who knew? Who knew that out of this. Out of this tragedy. It's like the story of Drew McFris. Really think about out of this tragedy that was this cooking segment. Such a beautiful butterfly of crunchy, salty, well made fish would emerge.

[Sean Dettore]

And no skittles.

[Luke Burbank]

No skittles. Five spice. Good call, friend. Good call, Gremlin.

[Jennifer Flash]

How much was the Fried mackerel. And where did you find it? Fred Meyer.

[Sean Dettore]

You said it wasn't fried. I mean, Granny, where have you been?

[Jennifer Flash]

We fried it. How much was a canned mackerel?

[Sean Dettore]

$1.95.

[Jennifer Flash]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, because could you imagine making this with. Could you imagine making this with fresh mackerel? You know, like. Like that was actually because this was. This. Had this mackerel started out with every disadvantage in life. You know, this mackerel was like a dandelion coming up through the cracks in the concrete.

[Jennifer Flash]

It was a tree growing in Brooklyn.

[Luke Burbank]

Imagine if you started off with, like, a delicious fresh mackerel. This would be an amazing meal. It's an amazingly good meal considering the circumstances. But I think this could actually be something you would totally serve to people.

[Jennifer Flash]

I also feel that as our nation is going into economic hardship, people need to know about this recipe.

[Sean Dettore]

We're kind of doing a service.

[Jennifer Flash]

Isn't that amazing? Cheez Its and Jack mackerel.

[Sean Dettore]

It's Jack mackerel.

[Jennifer Flash]

That's literally all you need.

[Luke Burbank]

Forget stone soup.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah.

[Sean Dettore]

You don't even need water. Well, mine's more expensive than water.

[Jennifer Flash]

Whatever, Whatever you have beer, whatever. It's fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow. Well, I don't know if this last segment of this cook over this larger cooking segment. I don't know if it's been good radio or not, but it's been good eaten.

[Jennifer Flash]

Let's.

[Sean Dettore]

Let's split this last piece.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I'm good. I've had enough, thank you. I mean, I ate, like, six pieces. We are. We are going to officially.

[Jennifer Flash]

I'll have some Gremlin.

[Luke Burbank]

We are going to officially. Awkward.

[Sean Dettore]

Let me serve you, Granny.

[Luke Burbank]

We're going to.

[Jennifer Flash]

What does that mean? I don't need you to serve me. I'll get my own.

[Sean Dettore]

Well, then, you know, you just eat that.

[Jennifer Flash]

I'll get my own. No, I'll get down.

[Sean Dettore]

What?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, it's a riot. It's a prison riot.

[Jennifer Flash]

Let me get my tin cup. I'll be right back.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a. Somebody call the. Somebody call the. What are they called? Police.

[Jennifer Flash]

You don't even know what the hell you're talking about in here.

[Luke Burbank]

Shut up, kid.

[Sean Dettore]

You and your tattoos.

[Luke Burbank]

Please stop yelling at me.

[Sean Dettore]

That's what you're gonna say.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I go to the hole? Can I bring my Calvin and Hobbes book?

[Jennifer Flash]

No, we gave you mackerel.

[Sean Dettore]

Shut up and drink your water. Wine. I don't even know what that means.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, things get crazy in prison, don't they? This will also be the first time by the way, that we've eaten the entire, like, what. We've eaten all of what's been prepared.

[Jennifer Flash]

I know. This is kind of amazing.

[Sean Dettore]

Nothing like the Kool Aid pickles.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jennifer Flash]

Although those are pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, those weren't good.

[Sean Dettore]

They weren't good.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, hold on, hold on one second here. Let me. Let me get the proper. This is. As prisons go, we have a lot of sound effects here, which is great. Shondore, I declare this an amazingly successful Cooking with Sean. Nice work, sir. I mean, I'm sorry. Gremlin. Cooking with Gremlin.

[Sean Dettore]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Nice work. That was. That was delicious. And. And Granny who helped him.

[Jennifer Flash]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Easy, easy. Set it off. Nice work, Granny.

[Jennifer Flash]

Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

This was amazing, you guys. This was really. This was really, really an accomplishment. And I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you both and proud of you all. So we're gonna. We're gonna take our last break of the. Of the night here and then we're going to come back and if we can, we'll try to sneak in a couple of listener letters. Or maybe we'll just try to. I still have some processing to do about the whole cheers to you situation, so maybe we'll just talk about that. I'm not exactly sure. Whatever it is, I can promise you it'll be marginally interesting. So stay with us. This is tbtl. Nice job, Sean. It's great to be alive, celebrated. What better way than with a Thursday night edition of tbtl? Jen and I were talking about the fact that this kind of stink that we created here in the studio is no biggie because we're not going to be here tomorrow. But here was the flaw in that logic. Shani. There's a meeting tomorrow morning here about the ratings for the station.

[Sean Dettore]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Which, not to brag, pretty much kicked tail. I think that overall, Cairo was like the top station or something. We did really, really well.

[Sean Dettore]

Good.

[Luke Burbank]

I. I don't think TBTL had much to do with that. But that's not. That's neither here nor there.

[Sean Dettore]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyway, I was just saying, Jen, that our whole we don't have to be here tomorrow thing, it's a little flawed on account. Well, because there's gonna be a meeting at 9:30 tomorrow that we're coming to here. But the good news is it's only going to be attended by our boss, our boss's boss. They're probably. Somebody's flying in from Salt Lake for it.

[Jennifer Flash]

But Dave Ross cannot attend because he's on the air. So he'll just be in here fuming and.

[Luke Burbank]

Because I've put a spell on him like that kid from the poltergeist. So he'll have no mouth.

[Jennifer Flash]

Okay, good.

[Luke Burbank]

So he won't be able to tell anyone that it smells like a grilled up mackerel in here. That was. That was a really successful, really fun little episode of Cooking with Shonda Torre. Sean, did you think that it was. You seemed stressed. You never seemed stressed to me, but while we were actually doing the cooking, you seemed a little stressed out.

[Sean Dettore]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you surprised?

[Jennifer Flash]

It usually have me yelling at him.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, he's not used to being measuring cups. He's not used to being in a cell with granny.

[Sean Dettore]

Right. That was intense. But no, yeah, I was stressed just because it was. I didn't feel like it was quite going the way I felt like or wanted it to go. Part of it was probably because Jen was like, we don't need measuring cups and all that stuff. That was kind of a. That was one stressor. I just felt like it was. It was. It was out of my hands and falling.

[Luke Burbank]

And the segment, the segments called Cooking with Shawn Dettorre. And you felt like this Shawn Dettorro was not getting to have the say in the matter that one deserves when one's name is in the title of the segment.

[Sean Dettore]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

And that's fair.

[Jennifer Flash]

That's totally, totally fair.

[Sean Dettore]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

But that's what happens in prison, bro. That's what happens in prison. Gremlin.

[Jennifer Flash]

He adjusted a lot quicker than you did.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's how that sounded when we found out all about Prisine. I have to say, Jen, it was terrifying, but it was instructional for me because I know not to cross you. Have you noticed? I don't know if you've ever been able to chart this, but our relationship really changed after that show.

[Jennifer Flash]

I hadn't thought about it.

[Luke Burbank]

I kind of felt like maybe I can push Jen around a little bit. Maybe I can try to get my way. But after I saw you in your full on prison mode, I was like, she is not to be messed with.

[Jennifer Flash]

It was after that show that I told Jason, if we're ever involved in a crime, I think I'm the one who should go down. I figured out I think I can handle it.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, listen, thanks everybody for listening to this week's barrel of shows. What do we keep the shows in now? A bushel? A barrel?

[Jennifer Flash]

No, it's in a barrel.

[Luke Burbank]

A pile. Thanks for listening to this week's pile of shows. Have a fun weekend, everybody. Enjoy your wine tasting. Let us know how it went. If you're in Seattle, definitely head out to Neptune Coffee on Saturday night. If you happen to be down at the big St. Joe's gala. Come on up and say hi to me. And we'll see you right back here on Monday. Until then, please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Jennifer Flash]

And good luck to all RA Sa.