Episode #956: Don't Be A Troublemaker

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live – Episode #956: Don't Be A Troublemaker

Release Date: November 21, 2011

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Jen Flash Andrews

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1. Opening Anecdote: Paranormal Activity Panic

The episode kicks off with a listener, Greg, sharing his intense reaction after watching Paranormal Activity with his siblings.

• Greg (00:00-00:33): Expresses severe anxiety, stating, “I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack right now. I'm going home, sleeping with all the lights on.”

2. The Great Tomato Soup Debate

Luke and Jen dive into a humorous yet spirited discussion about the nature of tomato soup.

• Luke Burbank (00:33-02:00): Declares, “Tomato soup. It's a drink. There's nothing in tomato soup because I get one almost every day.”

• Jen Flash Andrews (01:24-02:02): Adds, “It's no different than milk in consistency.”

This segment explores whether tomato soup should be consumed with a spoon or as a beverage, ultimately leaning towards the latter in jest.

3. Jen’s Personal Story: Supporting a Passionate Husband

Jen shares an intimate story about her husband Jason's fervent interest in college football, highlighting the challenges of supporting a partner's passion when it doesn't resonate personally.

• Jen Flash Andrews (02:29-09:25): Recounts, “We got home from the Rainn Wilson event on Saturday night real late... He was asking questions and being interested...”

• Sean Detorre (08:20): Inquires, “Was he speaking in binary code?”

The narrative delves into the dynamics of mutual support in relationships, emphasizing the importance of "humoring the other person."

4. Investigations Segment: Shonda Torre’s Commercial Involvement

The hosts address listener Dave's query about whether Shonda Torre is the voice of the high schooler in recent commercials.

• Dave’s Question (18:32): "Is Shonda Torre the voice of the high schooler in the commercials?"

• Sean Detorre investigates (18:36-19:02): Plays a snippet of the commercial, concluding it’s not Sean himself.

This segment showcases their playful investigative approach to listener questions.

5. Granny Time: Scrabble Strategies and Challenges

Jen introduces the "Granny Time" segment, where she discusses her frustrations with Scrabble gameplay dynamics with her husband.

• Jen Flash Andrews (25:49-31:26): Explains the tension between competitive and casual playstyles, saying, “...isn't good sportsmanship.”

• Luke Burbank (26:43-30:33): Offers insights into balancing competitiveness and enjoyment in games, sharing his own Scrabble philosophy.

The discussion highlights differing approaches to gaming and the importance of maintaining harmony.

6. Highlighting Real Time World War II Twitter Project

Jen introduces a unique Twitter account, Real Time World War II, which tweets historical events as if they’re happening in real-time.

• Jen Flash Andrews (31:42-33:04): Describes the project, “he started in 1939... tweets about what's happening in the war as if I'm in 1939.”

• Luke Burbank (32:16): Expresses enthusiasm, “That's really cool.”

This segment underscores the innovative ways history can be engaged with through modern platforms.

7. Movie Review: Twilight – Breaking Dawn Part 1

Greg, the episode’s guest, provides an in-depth review of Twilight – Breaking Dawn Part 1, sharing his mixed feelings about the film.

• Greg (45:15-58:19):

  • Praises Edward's appearance: “Edward looked extremely good in this one. Like, really good.”
  • Criticizes overacting and special effects: “There was a lot of parts in the movie that were super cheesy. I felt like there was a lot of overacting in it.”
  • Comments on inconsistencies in character portrayal: “Kellen Letz, who plays Emmett, kept changing his face... very weird.”

• Notable Discussion Points:

  • The awkward depiction of vampire and werewolf interactions.
  • Disappointment with the film’s execution compared to its predecessor.
  • Technical issues like inconsistent character appearances.

8. Listener Interaction: Greg’s Line Experience and AMA Highlights

Greg shares his experience waiting in line to watch the movie, expressing frustration over scheduling mix-ups.

• Greg (46:07-47:12): “I had to wait in line from one of the shows that started at 5:40...”

The hosts humorously discuss the logistical challenges fans face during high-demand movie releases.

9. Commentary on the American Music Awards

The hosts briefly touch upon the American Music Awards, highlighting notable performances and misunderstandings.

• Greg (59:45-60:24): Criticizes performers’ authenticity, particularly Taylor Swift’s reactions during awards.

• Luke Burbank (60:31-61:07): Relates Greg's observations to his own impressions, affirming Greg’s accuracy.

10. Upcoming Show Highlights and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with teasers for upcoming shows, including guests Feist and Marc Maron, and festive Thanksgiving content.

• Jen Flash Andrews (62:27-63:06): “Tomorrow we're going to have Feist on. And then on Wednesday, Marc Maron will be hanging out with us.”

The hosts express gratitude to their listeners and sponsors, ensuring fans stay tuned for future engaging content.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Luke Burbank (00:12): “Well, this is gonna be good. Possibly even super duper good.”
• Jen Flash Andrews (02:29): “...she failed as a life partner.”
• Luke Burbank (05:03): “He's strong like all of us Albanians.”
• Sean Detorre (08:20): “Was he speaking in binary code?”
• Greg (45:15): “I had to actually go the next day...”
• Jen Flash Andrews (31:42): “It's pretty cool...”
• Greg (53:04): “...the wedding dress was gorgeous.”

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Conclusion:

Episode #956 of Too Beautiful To Live masterfully blends humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions. From debating the essence of tomato soup to dissecting the latest in the Twilight saga, Luke, Jen, and Sean create an engaging narrative that resonates with both longtime listeners and newcomers alike. Greg’s candid movie review adds depth, while segments like "Granny Time" and the exploration of historical Twitter projects showcase the show's versatility. This episode exemplifies TBTL's charm, making it a must-listen for fans seeking relatable banter and thoughtful commentary.

Transcript

[Greg]

Hey, Luke and Jen, this is Greg. So my sister just took me and my brother to go see a movie, Paranormal Activity, and I am telling you right now, I have never in my life.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm shaking.

[Greg]

I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack right now. I'm going home, sleeping with all the lights on. I'm not going to bed tonight. I'm staying up tonight because I'm shaking. I am scared. My sister was scared. My brother was scared. It was.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is gonna be good. Possibly even super duper good. That's because it's a Monday afternoon edition of tbtl. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live. Don't get me started. Don't even get me started. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I'm weighing in today at £194. Oh, yeah. A steady diet of tomato soup, which I'm willing to say right here, right now, should no longer be consumed with a spoon. Tomato soup. It's a drink. There's nothing in tomato soup because I get one almost every day. They have them down in the commissary. They're reasonably priced. They're about 90 calories. And so I consider myself a borderline expert. But it takes me, like, 40 minutes to get through a bowl of tomato soup with one of those flimsy plastic spoons we have here. Why are we using spoons, you guys?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Because you're supposed to be adding saltines. Oh, you're missing the main ingredient.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what?

[Sean Detorre]

You think that's it?

[Luke Burbank]

You've just.

[Sean Detorre]

Saltines.

[Luke Burbank]

I've cracked the case, Andrews, That's a great point. But absent saltines, we can agree it's a drink. It's a warm drink.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It's no different than milk in consistency.

[Luke Burbank]

Or as you pointed out, Sean, before.

[Sean Detorre]

The show got started, it's much like.

[Luke Burbank]

V8, which, if you ate V8 with a spoon, they'd probably have you institutionalized.

[Sean Detorre]

Right? Just as if you were going to drink some tomato soup out of a cup. Institutionalized.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, see, I'm thinking that we might need to really rethink the tomato soup situation.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Maybe the spoon people are the crazy ones.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. The spoon people. Hey, we've got a lot to talk about on this 956th episode in the Collector series.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Hi, this is Luke's mom, Susie, coming tonight on tbtl.

[Luke Burbank]

As you may have deduced from that opening piece of audio tape, we will get a movie review. It's of the Twilight BREAKING DAWN Part one from our friend Mr. Hot. Greg, what's up?

[Greg]

It's Greg.

[Luke Burbank]

Also, it's Monday, so that means we're gonna get into Granny time, ladies and gentlemen. She's in the house.

[Sean Detorre]

It's Granny time.

[Luke Burbank]

And also, we will launch on what we think is going to be the shortest Sean Dottore investigates ever. Because it's just a matter of Sean listening to a piece of audio for probably. Hopefully it won't take more than 10 seconds. It would mean really troubling things about you if it took you longer than that to identify and to solve this investigation, which we will launch into in just a moment. That is Sean Detorre right over there. Japan's. His name is Chancellor.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

There's a good chance he's half domesticated. How are you, buddy?

[Sean Detorre]

Pretty good.

[Luke Burbank]

Good, good. Feels like we've done this before for some reason.

[Sean Detorre]

It's really weird.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't get it. Deja vu happening. And Jen Flash Andrews is right over there. Long time. I love Jesus, but I drink a little. How are you, Jennifer? How was your weekend?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

My weekend was really good, except for the part when I failed as a life partner.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

What. What did you do?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, we got home.

[Luke Burbank]

Or not do.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

We got home from the Rainn Wilson event on Saturday night real late, and Jason said, I have to go check my. My stats, my scores.

[Luke Burbank]

So it was a big, big Saturday in college football.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes, I. Yes. Because I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, and he came and he did that thing where he stood in the doorway like he couldn't even take another step. It's like, you are not gonna believe it. And I said, what? And then he said something that sounded like this. The 1 and the 2 and the 4 are out. There's a 5 and a 7 and a 9 left. That means next week there could be no 1, 2, or 3.

[Luke Burbank]

And you thought he was talking about Sudoku?

[Sean Detorre]

Was he speaking in binary code?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I had no. I said, what? Wow. And he said, yeah. He goes. The duck organ is out. And then I realized, okay, college football. Okay. So I said, okay, so it's the. It's just the five and the seven then. And he's like, no, it's the. And I just couldn't.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, the one is actually still in. That's. That's lsu.

[Sean Detorre]

But what about the six?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, six is on the edge.

[Sean Detorre]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Six is really on the edge. Actually, I can't think of who the six is on.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It was one of those things where he was. I could tell it mattered so much to him. And here's the thing that really makes it bad is that on Friday night when we sat down to dinner, we not not seeing each other most of the day, we sat down to dinner and he said, how was your day? And I proceeded to tell him minute by minute, what happened on Regis final. I had like tivoed it. I got up to watch Regis final hour on Friday morning and then I relayed it to him. I mean, minute by minute. I cried during Kelly's part because Kelly cried, but Regis didn't cry. He was a stiff upper lip.

[Luke Burbank]

He's strong like all of us Albanians.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

So. And he like just wonderfully sat there throughout. I mean, it took all of dinner and he was asking questions and being interested and showing care about all of it. And he was like, oh, Kathie Lee was in the audience. Oh, yeah. And I'm like telling him the whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

And then he, by the way, Hoda's the six. In that universe, if we're assigning numerics to the people, Regis is the one. Is Kathie Lee still the two or is. I don't know.

[Sean Detorre]

I heard she was turning into a three movie.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

The three is out.

[Luke Burbank]

She's really letting herself go. Oh, she's sliding down to about a three. That's unfortunate. No, but she, Kathie Lee, would she be the 2 or the 3? She was the original, so that would argue for being the two. But she hasn't been there a long time, which means Kelly could be. And Kelly's lovely at her job, so.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes. Yeah. And where's Joy? You know. Yeah, she's in there.

[Sean Detorre]

Is Regis one?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Regis is. So there's.

[Sean Detorre]

We're losing one.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, one's out.

[Luke Burbank]

So he was able to muster. Jason, your husband was able to muster a lot of interest.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I mean, when I think back on it, he couldn't. I mean, he doesn't care at all about any of the people involved. And as he has said many, many times, Kelly Ripa is the sweetest thing, but she's too skinny. That's just all he has to say about Kelly Ripa.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not even that she's skinny. It's that with her, she's very small. Like she is a small boned person. And then she's really, really thin. And it has to me, the appearance of being a nine year old boy. Absolutely nothing wrong with, with her or that. But that's not a thing that I am. I look at and I think, I'd like to, I'd like to see more of that yeah. Trying to be diplomatic and keep Sean from going somewhere where we're all afraid he'll go.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Nobody needs Jerry Sandusky in this room at all.

[Luke Burbank]

It was the elephant in the room. But we were choosing to not address it, although then it just got addressed a little bit.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Okay. So anyway, he was amazing. He listened to the whole thing. He showed a lot of care. He asked some questions. He was like, well, that sounds like it went really great and all that. So I just was like, oh, wow, babe, that's exciting. So then about 30 minutes later, he was laying on his back and he was looking up at the ceiling and he was just had this look on his face like he was still just marveling about it.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it was. It was something to be marveled at. And Jen, I would just like to say, and I think Jason, he listens to these shows, so, you know, I could appeal directly to him. Jason, call me. What I mean is that's a service I would love to provide because I was also freaking out, particularly about the Oregon game because Oregon looked for all the world like they were going to lose. At the middle part of the game, they were down by a ton. But then they somehow managed to come back to make it kind of close, but it was still a long shot. And the other team, usc, is about to put the game away and they have one of the most inexplicable screw ups I've ever seen. They fumble it for no reason. Like, it was like someone had a remote control in the football, someone in the, in the stadium, presumably with one of those mustaches that sort of waxed. And they were like, they talk like the penguin for some reason and like the ball is like, for some crazy reason got fumbled. Then Oregon has the ball and it's like, oh, my God, they're going to actually do this. This is divine intervention on their part. They ultimately didn't. But the Oklahoma game, all these games end up being so fascinating. I would have loved, loved to have talked them over with Jason.

[Sean Detorre]

Well, I have one question. Was there a Hail Mary thrown at any point in these games? I know what a Hail Mary is.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I like that one. I didn't ask that.

[Luke Burbank]

There was. It wasn't a Hail Mary, but there was a crazy. Baylor played Oklahoma and Baylor scored a touchdown on a throw that was a really long throw that like a guy kind of bumped up in the air on accident. And basically the ball got batted up in the air about 20 more yards in the air where a dude was just randomly running from Baylor and he Just said, well I guess I'll take that. And he ran down the field and he scored a really, really long touchdown to the point where the Baylor quarterback, they kept showing him just kind of standing there like he couldn't even believe what he had just seen. It was the luckiest, craziest thing. So that was almost a Hail Mary.

[Sean Detorre]

Wow.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, when I, when I realized he was just laying there, just think, you know, I knew I had, I had to do something. So I kind of sat up and.

[Luke Burbank]

Said so goal oriented, touching.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yep. So I sat up and I kind of patted his arm. I said, so so the five, the five and the seven Hun. That's so exciting. And then it was so funny because the look on his face was, I know you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you don't care, but I am gonna tell it all to you again. And so then he just proceeded to tell me the whole thing again.

[Sean Detorre]

Well, did he explain what the numbers meant?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh yeah. He was like saying the schools. The problem is it's all. If you don't care about something, it's so hard to muster any. It's just gibberish. I just. And he even knew it but he was still so excited to go over it game by game yet again. So anyway, the whole thing just left me feeling a little bit sad. I don't know what guys think. What are you supposed to do? I mean, what reaction would have been the better reaction? I don't know.

[Sean Detorre]

Just to pay attention and feign. Yeah, exactly. That's perfect. That's all you need to do because I mean that's what we're doing with you.

[Luke Burbank]

Sometimes that is a really.

[Sean Detorre]

Not with you. Jen. Everything you say is gold.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

No, but I'll tell you Regis, final minutes, minute by minute.

[Sean Detorre]

Oh, I bet you will.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but I mean I think Jen just even humoring. It's exact. You know, it is exactly what everybody in every relationship should be doing for at least some percentage of the time, which is humoring the other person. Just saying to themselves, I know this is not a thing I'm interested in. I know this is not a place I want to go to necessarily both literally or figuratively. But I'm going to because the. You know, there's going to be a time when. So I'm, I'm really glad to hear Jen that you recognize that because that was what Jason really needed. I had a. I had a. I had a fun but also a little bit of a rough weekend. I so have you guys Been. You guys have been to the Baron off in Greenwood?

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, they have a little thing that you can do. You can get a plaque put in the bar at the Baranoff and some number of trips ago to the Baranoff. I decided that this would be a hilarious thing for me to get a plaque that says Luke burbank and has tbtl.net on it because it costs $100.

[Sean Detorre]

Anyone can do this.

[Luke Burbank]

Anyone with $100 can do this. And I thought, oh, this would be kind of a funny ad for the show. And also I can point to it when my friends come in there. I can say, hey, check it out. But I was trying to think, what else should I put on there? And this is where I embarrassed myself this weekend because they finally put the plaque on the bar. It's permanently installed at the bar at the Baronoff. It says Luke Burbank. What it says below that is professional drinker. Now, you could say that's embarrassing that anyone would even want to claim that title. But here's what's more embarrassing. If on the same night you're so excited to go to the Baranof to see your professional drinking plaque that you end up drinking way, way, way, way too much. And you end up eventually at the Mandarin gate being poured into the backseat of your car by your friends who are driving you to your friend Newman's house, where you will sleep in the middle of the living room floor like a zombie. Or like a comatose zombie, which is even more passed out than a regular zombie.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Were your friends yelling out the window, change it to amateur drinker?

[Luke Burbank]

It didn't even occur to me until the next day. How was that? Irony.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

How ironic that was that I did that.

[Sean Detorre]

Maybe that's how a professional gets down, though.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Going all amateur on it.

[Luke Burbank]

You mean gets down like.

[Sean Detorre]

Good point. Actually, never mind. Strike that Removed.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

He doesn't know how to make you feel better about this.

[Sean Detorre]

No, I can't feign that.

[Luke Burbank]

I just really. I hope to God I have very limited memory of being at the Mandarin gate. So if you were there and we talked, I apologize for whatever I said or did. It was a. This is what happened. I have been trying to get my health on a little bit and I had not eaten very much that day and I had worked out.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And as you said on Friday, you'd been laying low for a number of years.

[Luke Burbank]

I had been. So I had lowered my tolerance a little bit. It was a perfect storm of bad planning on my part. So that was embarrassing thing. Number One, I thought about going back to the Burnhoff and saying how much to get that changed to something else. The other thing that happened was this morning, as you guys can note from this beautiful mark on my. On my chin, I cut myself shaving. Fairly common occurrence, but apparently for me, my body's design, it's interesting, is that my femoral artery goes through my chin, apparently, because I was bleeding NonStop for, like, two hours this morning.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Were you bleeding during the show?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, this is, you know, from the moment I get out of the shower and I realize it was actually I nicked it in the shower. I thought, oh, I nicked myself shaving. Okay, no big deal. And then I looked down, and it's like the scene in the. In. What's the Stab movie?

[Sean Detorre]

Psycho.

[Luke Burbank]

Psycho. It's like the shower from Psycho.

[Sean Detorre]

You shave in the shower, huh?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Because you know what I hate is when you shave into the bowl, and then you get shaving cream and the little hairs, and you wash those out. But even so, it's hard to get all of them, and just. It begins a process of. Gross. Guy, bathroom.

[Sean Detorre]

Do you have a mirror in your shower?

[Luke Burbank]

I do. I have a handheld mirror. I feel like Snow White. Maybe that's part of the problem. I'm trying to do too many things. I'm trying to hold a mirror, figure.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Out who's the fairest among them.

[Luke Burbank]

Tried it? Yes.

[Sean Detorre]

This is just interesting to me. Not to get too off subject, but then when you're in the shower, does the water just wash the shaving cream off your face? You stand out of the water, stand.

[Luke Burbank]

Out of the stream, get the shaving cream going. Then you stand back from the stream, you do the shaving, and then you. I also have almost no facial hair. It's like, Sean, you've got a burly, burly beard. So for you, it's probably. You probably have to bring someone in.

[Sean Detorre]

I do.

[Luke Burbank]

I know you? Yeah. I know that for you, it is a much more involved process. For me, it's, you know, as my granddad used to say, you put some milk on there and let the cat lick it off, and that will account for your shave. But anyway, I get this, and I try to do the dabbing it with the toilet paper thing. I'm just filling up, like, sheet after sheet of toilet paper with blood. I'm sorry to be gross. So I'm just thinking, what the heck am I going to do? So I do the thing where I stick the toilet paper to my chin, but I think, I can't show up at work looking like that. Right. That is not. That's not okay. Now there used to be something I.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Forget as a professional drinker.

[Sean Detorre]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that may have been why my blood was so thin. A lot of this stuff is starting to come.

[Sean Detorre]

It's coming together.

[Luke Burbank]

Really makes sense all of a sudden. Well, so I get here and I'm sitting in my car and I'm just like. I have like a hundred Pagliacci's pizza napkins in my car from one time when I got a pizza there. So I'm just like dabbing it, dabbing it. Keep thinking this will fix it, this will fix it. Nothing fixes it. So I come in. I'm super embarrassed by this. But I think the only thing I can do is go to the first aid kit and get a band aid and just put a band aid on because, well. And I'd be curious to get your guys opinion. What looks dumber or more dumber? I'm sorry, I misused it. What looks more dumber? A toilet paper or band aid thing stuck to your bloody chin Or a band aid. What looks worse? It's a coin toss, right?

[Sean Detorre]

I'd probably say the toilet paper. I think you could probably get away with a band aid. Maybe one of those little circular band aids if it's available.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

But then it looks like he had an injection.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the thing. Here's the problem with the band aid is the band aid looks like you're trying to cover up something much more involved. The toilet paper is just gross because you're gonna have a giant spot of blood. You're Chris Sullivan. You're getting ready to go in and do your news report. You gotta look at my giant spot of blood. That's upsetting. But again, yeah, the band aid, it's like what lies beneath.

[Sean Detorre]

Well, and band aids are also sort of your skin color. So I mean, the toilet paper with the blood's gon out way more too.

[Luke Burbank]

So I go with the band aid.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Because it's clearer of what's happening, right?

[Luke Burbank]

Because exactly. I go with the band aid and I get stopped by three different people. First of all, here's the thing. If someone has a band aid on their face, I never ask them what happened because in my case the answer is I nicked myself shaving. But it could be something else, could be surgery, could be lesions. I picked at that. I sleep pick. There could be a lot of things you don't want to know about somebody you work with. Face band aid. To me, that's a non Starter as far as conversation goes, right? For sure. Three different people ask me, hey, what's with the band aid? Like, it's not even a thing. And I say, I cut myself shaving. And three people said, would you really do.

[Sean Detorre]

Really? Wow. What kind of reputation do you have here?

[Luke Burbank]

This is apparently the problem with starting most Mondays. By regaling people with your tales of professional drinking, you create a scenario in which when you do have some little dumb thing like a shaving nick, nobody believes you. I don't know what they thought happened. I heard it, you know, cockfighting, or, you know, that's what you should have said. Drug running, cockfighting, whatever they thought I was doing. So what ended up happening was after. And by the way, Andrew, the producer of the radio show, was the third person who said, really? And I was so mad. And he was like, God, you're really sensitive about it. I was like, yes. Because three people in the span of 10 minutes here have asked me how I messed up my face. And then when I told them the actual story, they assumed it was something else, that I was lying. Like, I would lie about what I had done to my chin. So I ended up then taking the band aid off and exposing the world to this scab just so people would recognize that this is not some kind of. I don't know, I wasn't trying to ride a rocket across the Grand Canyon or something.

[Sean Detorre]

That would have been pretty awesome.

[Luke Burbank]

That actually would be a cool story. That's what I should have started saying. So I guess the point of that story is to say, be careful about the reputation that you cultivate with people, because as I found out this morning, it can be really annoying when you're just trying to give people the straight story and they're not really. They're not really believing you. Let's talk investigations of the Shondatorre variety. Now, Jen, how did we. How did we have this question posed to us?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

This comes from Dave, and he asks, shonda Torre investigates. Is Shonda Torre the voice of the, quote, high schooler in the get account commercials currently airing on Cairo?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well, first we got to play this. Sean Detorre investigates.

[Sean Detorre]

I love that.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Still good.

[Sean Detorre]

It's still really, really good.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so this is a commercial. I don't know if I've ever. I don't know if I've ever actually heard this commercial before. Shaun. And you do do some commercials on the station. I hear you. I hear you. Doing one where you're weightlifting currently. What's that about?

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah, yeah, I have a couple running on the station right now. It's for a Pub 85 commercial, and I think it's still running. It's promoting a boxing match that may have already happened. And then I'm on some other couple of random ones.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so this is a commercial forget which is this program the state of Washington has where you can pay money into an account for your kid to go to college, and then it will keep up with the inflation and the cost of state colleges. Boy, that's 40 seconds of your life you're never going to get back. But anyway. So are you ready to investigate, Sean?

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

We're going to try to find out if this is you in this commercial.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Hi, it's me, your son.

[Luke Burbank]

That does not sound like you.

[Sean Detorre]

That's not me.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. That's not you.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Okay, sure, I'm in preschool now, but before you know it, I'll be in kindergarten.

[Luke Burbank]

And then suddenly I'm a fourth grader.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And then it's middle school and then.

[Sean Detorre]

I'm in high school already.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Was that you?

[Luke Burbank]

Is that you?

[Sean Detorre]

Does that sound like me a little bit?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I can see you kind of trying to, like, make your voice sound, you know, I mean, I've heard you do so many voices, right? Because I could hear it.

[Sean Detorre]

I'm in high school already. That I'm in high school already.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually pretty close. Is that you?

[Sean Detorre]

No, that's not me.

[Luke Burbank]

That's not you?

[Sean Detorre]

That's not.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, case closed.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Case closed.

[Luke Burbank]

I like those really easy ones.

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah, that was really great.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Really simple.

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah, that was the easiest one.

[Luke Burbank]

Glad we could solve that. Solve that for listener Dave. Folks who listen to this show know that we're pretty obsessed with. I'm pretty obsessed with David Simon, creator of the Wire and Tremendous and the Corner and Homicide. Life on the street. I think there's multiple streets there. Life on the streets. And like a lot of hipsters, I, you know, I have to be obsessed with the Wire because it proves to everybody that I'm down and I am. And I was sad that it was only five seasons long. And so I've been wondering if David Simon would ever consider making a six season. And he has now said that he actually would be highly likely to make a sixth season if one thing happened, which is if the federal government reforms drug laws because he feels like, I don't know if you heard this a while ago, but they just changed. The sentencing for crack cocaine used to be basically that if you were caught with a certain amount of crack and the same amount of cocaine, cocaine powder, form one of them got you life in prison, and one of you got you five years. And a lot of people said, that's unfair. It hurts poor people, particularly poor people of color, unfairly, blah, blah, blah. And so anyway, David Simon, who's watched this stuff pretty closely, if you remember on the Wire, there's that season where the characters create Hamsterdam, the kind of like, just do anything you want zone. So David Simon thinks that the way the drug laws work are kind of bunk and that it's holding a lot of people back. And he says if that happens, he will make a sixth season of the Wire. I was trying to explain this to somebody on the radio show today, and their reaction was, boy, that guy thinks he's powerful. What do you make of this Flash?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, I think it means we're never gonna have season six of the Wire.

[Luke Burbank]

See, that's how you're reading it. A lot of people are reading it as, hey, there's a possibility of season six. And you're saying this officially shows that we will never have season six of the Wire.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I do like the idea that US Attorney General Eric Holder, who started this whole thing by making a plea to David Simon to make another season of the Wire. I love that. I love that Eric Holder loves the Wire, first of all, because it's always called the show that only white people like.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's Eric Holder, right? It's a show with an almost exclusively black cast that is mostly watched by white people.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

So I was happy about that. I thought it was delightful that he loves the Wire and would make that plea. The answer was left me without a lot of hope because I don't see the next 20 years bringing what David Simon is asking for. So I think knowing Eric Holder the.

[Luke Burbank]

Way I do, I feel like Eric Holder, if he is watching the Wire, though, wouldn't he just be out in front on this? Because when you.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Maybe he skipped season two, maybe. Or season two is the docs. Season three was Amsterdam. Maybe he missed.

[Luke Burbank]

But also, David Simon says he'll write season seven of the Wire if they reform the docs. That's a whole thing.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

They start checking those cans for Russian girls.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, exactly. So Eric Holder did not indicate that he's gonna actually make a massive federal policy shift based on a HBO television show.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I know. I mean, I keep begging him to bring back Friends and Jennifer Aniston's like, not until.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know, to be honest with you. And we've said this because of the Arrested Development coming back, you know, the talk of that it's. If they brought the Wire back and it wasn't quite as good as we all remember it being, there'd almost be a letdown. There's something great about it being too beautiful to live. Yes, it was. It was. It was over probably slightly before its time, but. But anyway, if you haven't watched the Wire, I would say it is definitely worth checking out. I was trying to convince the. This. The guy I do the radio show with, Dave Ross, he's like, oh, I don't watch that kind of stuff. I was like, if you're interested in. If you're interested in the. In the culture of this country and including the part that involves a lot of poverty and why people do illegal.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Stuff and the connection between policy.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And what actually happens.

[Luke Burbank]

I know that the. Is it the fourth season with Carquetti that gets wonky up in this? Not since the Galactic Senate from the Star wars movies did it get more wonky and what was supposed to ostensibly be an entertaining show. So, anyway, if you haven't watched the Wire, and if you've been. If you've been avoiding the Wire because you feel like people like me are always telling you you should like the Wire, I understand that that's a natural reaction, but I do think it's worth checking out. Let's. Let's see what's going on with the Granny times here. Do you want to wait, Jen, for me to get you your full, funky granny intro? I'm sorry. I had the shorter one there. But once. Once you get used to a. I know. Wait a second. Come on, computer.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It gives me the granny swagger that I need.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Okay. Well, here it is, ladies and gentlemen. She's in the house.

[Sean Detorre]

It's Granny.

[Luke Burbank]

What's going on for you in the granny department, Jennifer?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I've got some Scrabble issues I'd like to bring up.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure.

[Sean Detorre]

Okay.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Very important. So on Saturday afternoon, Jason and I did something that we enjoy doing very much, which is we decided to play Scrabble with a big bottle of wine and have some music on because it was a freezing cold day out and thought that would be really fun to play Scrab. And I realized that we had. Well, I think it's against the rules what he does. And I want to explain to you guys, because it's not actually written down, but I feel like it's understood that it's against the rules, which is that when you play a word and the other person goes, I was going to play there. You shouldn't be able to say that that's not good sportsman.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you should be allowed to say it, but the other person should be allowed to say, you know, your funeral, dude.

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You think that even. Because he does that to you.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I think it's like trash talk. I think it's like, it's not good sportsmanship. And then. Okay, so that happened.

[Sean Detorre]

Okay.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Then the next thing that happened was I played a word, and he said that was the only place left to play a word on the board.

[Sean Detorre]

He's trying to guilt trip you.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And then later, like, you're not. You haven't opened up the board at all. None of your words opened up the board.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, right.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And so the problem is that all of that made me feel bad. And so then I was, like, trying to open up the board more and trying to anticipate what he was gonna play. And so then he got all mad at me. He goes, the point of the game is to win, and you're doing a really good job of it. Your strategy is to clamp down and keep the board small. But that's not my strategy. My strategy is to have this really fun game where really cool words get played and, you know, fun stuff happens in the game. And I felt like that when you. I just don't think you should be able to say any of those kinds of sentences because it makes people feel bad who are playing the game. I don't want to feel bad.

[Sean Detorre]

Well, how long have you guys been your spot. How long have you guys been playing SCRA. Generally throughout your life.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, together, 15 years, but we're both lifelong Scrabble players.

[Sean Detorre]

Okay. So you understand about maybe opening the board up if it gets to that point? You know this.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes. I'm not trying to not open up the board.

[Sean Detorre]

Right.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I had Sean just to tell you I had all vowels in one T. I did not have a lot of opportunities.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me ask this. After he said this and chided you and you were then feeling bad, did longer, more interesting words end up getting played? Yeah, so there is that.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. I played niacin, which I was excited about.

[Sean Detorre]

That's a good word.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Vitamin down there.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, niacin. And a niacin in could probably. I know one's a proper name, but.

[Sean Detorre]

I think it's okay to have a little. I mean, I don't like the guilt trip play, but I think it's okay to be like, oh, I was gonna play there. And then you come back with, hey, sorry, sucka. You know, just make it. Maybe it's a little Bit of trash talk. But maybe you need to get a little bit heavy on him.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

See, I like when you play a word and the other person goes, good word or oh, are you low on. You low on vowels? You know, I like that kind of thing.

[Sean Detorre]

That could be kind of taken as trash talk. Ooh, you low on vowels.

[Luke Burbank]

But if you played like, if you were playing like, you know, putting an L down at some intersection of two other letters making two two word words and one happened to be on a double, that kind of. Which is, you know, totally the strategy. I was, it's really funny. I was having a very heated debate about this at like three in the morning at Goldie's Casino, like probably a month ago over a plate of General Tso's chicken. And this was my basic point because I was talking to a really good Scrabbler and she was saying, you know, the point is to score the most. And the way that you score the most really is making words that intersect with other words. Like, you know, playing a word that actually is playing two words at once. And they're not big, long, it's not xylophone. See, that's my whole mistake, is that I think of it as I want. I think that the truest expression of Scrabble, and we have a lot of listeners who are really into Scrabble and they're going to all email me and say that I just misunderstand the point of the game. But if, to me, if the game of Scrabble is about building words and getting points, the best expression of that really should be you're playing long, interesting words like niacin. But if you watch like word freak or any of these people that are high level Scrabbles, it's not that it's actually playing a bunch of. It's knowing how many words with Q that don't require a U exist words no one's ever heard of, and playing a whole bunch it does not. A Scrabble board at the highest level does not look like a bunch of beautiful words. It's a bunch of weird half phonics that turns out are technically speaking words. And to me, that makes Scrabble a weird game. Because I'm with you, Jen. Like, it's fun. When you're a kid and you're playing with your family and you kind of don't really know the rules and someone gets away with a xylophone, everyone's just like, oh my God, like it's this kind of cool, you shot the moon thing. Yeah, and then as you get better and better at it and with people with it on their phone all the time with the words with friends and such, it's getting more and more into this compressed little, you know, nugget of less. I don't know, less beauty.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe that's what Jason was striking back against.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Maybe he was definitely, you know, because immediately I said that makes me feel bad. I said, you know, three turns ago, when you spelled moxie with a Y, I didn't say anything, even though I think moxie spelled with an ie. And he just looked at me like, you've just been sitting that for 15 minutes and you're pulling that out now. And that's when I realized that he's an athlete and he's like, trying to win the game. And if you, if you play well, he's going to say, oh, yeah, I was going to play that. You just got that part. Or you're. He's like, you're playing well. And I'm trying to say that. And it's making you feel bad.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like when we play basketball and Jason blows past me for a leg, which he does constantly. And I say, good shot. Because it, you know, I'm recognizing, I'm acknowledging, I'm acknowledging that he's doing that. But. But I. But I understand where you're coming from too. You, Jen, should come play. I don't know what you're doing Thanksgiving night, but if you want to just bop on over to Silverdale, there will be one of the most non competitive Scrabble games in history going on where no one, no one talks any trash because, you know, no one's scoring over 40 points because everyone's waiting to play Pterodactyl. Just waiting. What's this thing I see listed here as real time World War II?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Okay, this is this guy that I'm following on Twitter and he's in Britain somewhere. I'm not really sure who he is. I tried to find out, but I saw it on a bunch of different blogs. But he basically started in 1939. He's tweeting every single day in real time as if the war has just started. And he's tweeting like, with pictures like, this is the guy that tried to assassinate Hitler. And right now he's being held in one of the concentration camps. So every day I get these tweets about what's happening in the war is if I'm in 1939. He says he's gonna do all six years.

[Sean Detorre]

Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And so the Twitter, if you want to follow him, it's called Real time World War II www.

[Luke Burbank]

See, if that were me, I would have saved that for. It's pretty cool, because I don't have a lot of those, but you are just lousy with your. It's pretty cool. So you just throw them out there. Just doesn't even matter. That's really cool.

[Sean Detorre]

Is he tweeting once per day or is it just.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

No, sometimes it's several things happen in a day. And like, one of them, he tweeted it and then he had to do a correction because it was the wrong news organization in Germany. And the New York Times in 1939 had spelled it incorrectly. So he went with the incorrect because he wouldn't have found out it was incorrect until the New York Times printed a correction the next day. So he's like, being. And he must have, like, an amazing archive because he's a lot of times, like, also attaching pictures of the people or the battleship or stuff like that.

[Sean Detorre]

That's awesome.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It's really quite something. And to think about, obviously, if, you know, Twitter had been around in World.

[Sean Detorre]

War II, this is what would be happening.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Had been happening. So it's kind of a weird little time warp that you can be in.

[Luke Burbank]

So that is really cool. Ealtime WW2 is not the number two, but like, I guess capital II. Yeah, capital II. So I will start checking that out, and then my dad and I will have a lot to talk about Thursday at Thanksgiving, because he loves that we used to. When we were kids. My. You know, I've said a lot of times, we didn't really have a TV for a lot of my childhoods. My parents were weirdos, and they would go to the Shoreline Public Library and check out a movie projector. And so sometimes on a Friday night, we would get to watch a projected movie in our house. And. But the. The selection of movies, film movies available at the Shoreline Public Library was, you know, kind of scant. So it ended up being a lot of World War II newsreels.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So, I mean, I spent a good part of my child watching these documentaries and newsreels, which, interestingly enough, now I would think are fascinating. But back then I was just like, can we please just watch Thundercats?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You know what they say, newsreels are wasted on the youth.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. That is. Nobody's ever said that because no one's ever tried to make a. You watch a newsreel except my parents. Okay, and what's your last granny Time item.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Oh, okay. This wasn't. This idea was in the New York Times on Sunday and I thought it was kind of interesting. They were basically saying that in a country that doesn't believe so strongly, doesn't believe in like price fixing and stuff like that, why are all movies priced the same? Like why is Puss in boots sold out $10 but also puss in Boots? We didn't think we was gonna get it, but then like Martha, Marcy Mae Magdalene or whatever her name, you know that there's not a soul in the theater, but that's also 10 bucks. Like, I don't understand. I thought it was such a brilliant thing, like for a small indie movie that people, you know, they're having trouble getting people in. Why wouldn't they drop the price to $3, pack out that theater so more people see your movie? You know, the filmmakers who make these movies for next to nothing are gonna be thrilled to get a packed the like, word of mouth. And that's how you make a movie like that go.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really interesting idea. I was actually thinking of it in the opposite direction. Like if that Marcy May Mar. Nobody knows the name of that movie, by the way. I mean, everybody loves it, everybody says it's just amazing, it's beautiful. But damn, that name's impossible to remember. But I was gonna say I would think of a movie like that as being kind of like an organic restaurant, like you're gonna pay more and Puss in Boots as being kind of more like a Denny's. And so I was almost thinking maybe you just charge more. If a movie's better, people have to pay a little more and then not as many people have to go to it. But I don't know. I mean, you're right. Like, it would probably be better to try to incentivize people to go see movies by charging less.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I think if you're trying to figure out like what the market will bear, obviously for a really small movie like that that doesn't have much word of mouth and that maybe you're a little nervous about, cuz it might be weird.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You know, I would say drop the price.

[Luke Burbank]

Have a name that no one can remember.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. I just thought it was such an interesting idea and I think that's the kind of thing that I would think. And so they, they like hauled around a bunch of movie theaters and. And it's just not how it's done.

[Luke Burbank]

Well. Right.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Because not for any reason other than it's just not how it's Done.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, like an independent theater could probably. Well, I wonder if the theaters have to agree to something because the Crest.

[Sean Detorre]

Their movies are three bucks. But those are movies that have already been taken out of the theater.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah, but I don't know if they have the. If they can do their own pricing or whatever, but I think I would see a lot more movies because it's so expensive.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And there's so many movies like that that are just sitting with an empty theater. And I would go to way more movies if they were five bucks a ticket.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, have you considered sneaking in? Because I have to be honest with you, my childhood, I didn't. Maybe I snuck into a movie or two. Like, you go to Cinema 12 and you would, you would go there Saturday early on, and then you would buy like a two dollar ticket and then you would just be theater hopping. And I remember as a kid thinking that, you know, that sneaking into movies was. It was as if you were trying to sneak into Fort Knox and get all the gold out. Like, I thought it's unequal, like level of difficulty. And what I realized as an adult is half the time I don't even have my ticket. Like, I buy the ticket and I'm getting the popcorn, I drop it or whatever. I don't know, it's like. And there's half the time the kid's not even standing there. Movie theaters are ripe for the picking, people.

[Sean Detorre]

They are.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, like, what, some 14 year old pimply kid is gonna disagree with you when you say, no, I just came out. I just, I just had to go to the bathroom. And the bathroom is still. I went to the other one. It's better. So anyway, like, that kid's not gonna do anything.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I can't believe you're bringing this up during granny time.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Done this in a different segment.

[Luke Burbank]

You know why? Because my granddad, my granddad, Jack Kelly of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, my mom always tells this story. He was, you know, Irish Catholic, lifelong, never missed a mass. Raised his kids, you know, in the, in the tradition of Catholicism. Very moral guy in a lot of ways. Had no problem with sneaking into movies.

[Sean Detorre]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

He wouldn't do it, but he would. My mom and her siblings, there were seven of them, they would just be trading stories at the dinner table about how they had snuck in to see like, you know, the greatest story ever told. Interestingly enough, a movie about the Christ.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Also ironic.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. My granddad had no problem with that. So I think that's been passed on to me. Okay, well, that's an interesting. I mean, did anyone seem like in the industry, did they seem like they were. They would. They would ever consider this or they.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Just like, it was just like, no, that's not how we do it.

[Luke Burbank]

Is the movie business making way more money than we're told? Because I keep hearing how the studios are losing money and, you know, they're having all these problems with the financial model because all of like Netflix and streaming and the Internet and there are so many other ways people have great TVs at home now with great audio. It seems like an industry that could probably use some creative thinking.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Exactly, Exactly. That's why I'm here. Not enough people read the Times, so I take some of kind of what they do.

[Luke Burbank]

And I really, you know, I'm one of those people because I subscribe to it, but somehow my login is janky and it thinks that I'm not getting the thing and I don't know how to change it. So I'm on the 20 stories a month plan and I ran out like a week into this month. And I am angry. Not angry enough to call them and ask them how to fix it, but angry enough to resent them in my heart every time I try to read one of their stories. Hey, speaking of movies, we're going to take a break, come back. And we're talking to Hot Greg. He's our movie reviewer extraordinaire. He has seen the movie Twilight, Breaking dawn, and he is going to give us a full review. First, let's hear a little music from Tune Yards. Tune Yards are going to be playing the Wonder Ballroom tonight in Portland. It's the end of their tour. A pretty cool musical project. You might want to check it out if you're in the Rose City. Back with more TBTL in just a moment.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Wait for me, honey, wait yeah, honey I will never get to sleep? Rebel rebel no, I can never get to sleep?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm a rebel rebel now hold me.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Till I get to sleep Sa.

[Luke Burbank]

Violin dances in my head Devil, devil burning savvy as a roll pebble oh baby, bring me home to bed? I need you to press me down before my body flies away from me? Your power inside it rocks me like a love by your heart inside it wraps me like a love love by your power in my love baby I just don't know why you're power inside?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Your power inside Wait for me hang.

[Luke Burbank]

You see my face at all? Welcome back to tbtl. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live. We get support from Chateau St. Michel, they're the official sponsor of the program. And we got this email from listener Rachel. Ever since the wine tasting competition, my boyfriend and I have been drinking the Chateau St. Michel Syrah like it's going out of style. Tonight when we went to King Supers to get the bottle. King Supers? Is that like next to a Super Crackers? Is that an RDD or Ron Donald Dew or Ron Donald Duke?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It's a grocery store in Denver.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. We went to King Soopers to get the bottle. It was on sale. We saw, to our dismay, it had sold out. I'd like to think this is due to the tens in tenver. Good news for Chateau St Michel, bad news for me. This is what we love about our listeners. Even when they're being deprived of their sweet berry wine, they are happy that it means someone else was getting some sweet berry wine. It's also what we love about Chateau St. Michel, their generosity. They have been the longest running sponsor of the show and have helped us bring you this imaginary radio for free. So thanks to them, and if you want to visit them online, you can do so by going to tbtl.net, looking on the right side of the page where there's a button. Also, if you're not going to King Soopers, there should be a well stocked supply in your local grocery store or wine shop. So make sure you show the love, if you can, to Chateau St. Michel, the official sponsor of TBTL. Chateau St. Michel, Woodinville, Washington. All right. We're very excited to bring our next guest on the show. He's one of our favorites. First, let's remind everyone what we're going to talk to him about. The fetus is incompatible with your body. It's too strong and fast growing. Is crushing you from the inside out. Your heart will give out before you can deliver. You did this.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I can't see Bella's future anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

We don't know what they bred. We have to protect the tribe before it's too late.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You're the enemy now. Sam won't hesitate.

[Luke Burbank]

You will be slaughtered. I'm starving you by the hour. I'm the one who lose you.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You have to accept what is. You've given me no choice.

[Luke Burbank]

Get ready. They're coming for Bella.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

They're not gonna touch her.

[Luke Burbank]

No. If you kill her, you kill me. Scary. Oh, wolves and vampires. You too. When are you guys gonna get along? We have our friend Hot Greg on the line who saw the movie. Did you wait in line, Greg? Like, you know, Thursday night at midnight? Or whatever.

[Greg]

No, you know what? I had to actually go the next day. So after midnight, it was like, I don't know, like 2 or 3 o'clock the next day. And I did have to wait in line. There was like a huge line.

[Luke Burbank]

Didn't you tell them you're hot, Greg, you're reviewing this for tbtl?

[Greg]

You know what? That would be so nice, like be able to tell people, just, you know, get ahead of everyone. But I mean, you know what, Luke, I have to say something to you, okay? Because recently I was listening to NPR and I heard a clip of. Wait, wait, don't tell me. And I didn't know that you were on that show, that you were a regular guest on that show. And so I feel like, like super, like nervous to talk to you because I was like.

[Luke Burbank]

We'Ve only talked to.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You, like, nervous before.

[Luke Burbank]

Only talked to you like 40 times. Now you're nervous.

[Greg]

I am. I'm super nervous. And like, I've been talking to my buddy Liam over in Massachusetts, who's a big fan of yours too. And like, I don't know, like, yeah, I am super nervous because I love that show. I listen to it all the time.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I'm glad you like. Thanks, Greg. I'm glad you like it. But all I can say is I'm the same old Luke with a massive shaving wound on his chin. Just, you know, just like always. So we should get you some kind of laminated pass though, Greg, so you can cut to the front of the line.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Where would we get that?

[Luke Burbank]

We just make it. Yeah, I was just saying before the break though, like some 14 year old. The movie theater is gonna. Greg, with his pass. He says, I'm with tbt. I have to go to the front of the line.

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah, tbtl Press.

[Luke Burbank]

Was there a really long line to get in to see the movie?

[Greg]

Okay, let me say something because I did have to wait in line and I feel like a complete idiot because the line I was waiting for, like my movie started at 4:10. And I was waiting in line from one of the shows that started at 5:40.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh.

[Greg]

And I had no idea. So I could have just went like right in, but I didn't know. So I just waited in that line.

[Luke Burbank]

But. So you must have gotten a really good seat though when you got in.

[Greg]

I sat in the very well, not the right. A couple rows up from the front.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. So this was for people. There are like, apparently, you know, three people in the world who haven't been following the Twilight Saga. This is the first half of the last movie. Right, because they broke the last movie up into two parts.

[Greg]

Yes. And I think that is so ridiculously stupid because now we have to wait for. Until November 16, 2012 for the next movie.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, did you, did you like this one?

[Greg]

Okay, this might surprise you guys, but I was disappointed. There was a lot of parts in the movie that were super cheesy. I felt like there was a lot of overacting in it. The. It was directed by an Academy Award winner, so I figured, okay, well, he's gonna make this movie really good.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Greg]

And I mean, I was super excited that I was there and that I was seeing what I was seeing and all. But I don't know, like, like the effects with the pack, the werewolf pack, they were just. It was missing something that just seemed too, too. God. Obviously it's fake, but it just seemed too fake.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It did seem. Didn't you think that the, the scene when the wolf pack was talking to each other was one of the more painful scenes you've ever seen when wolves have a convert, like an in depth conversation? I was cringing through the entire scene.

[Greg]

Yes. That's like my sister, she went and saw it last tonight and she told me that there was a couple parts that were questionable. And I said, before she even said anything, I was like, I know. First part that you're gonna say is when they were all talking to each other. That was so cheesy and stupid.

[Luke Burbank]

And we actually have, we actually have a little tape from that. Let's listen in. How about that? Right in. I guess that's why they call it Sin City. You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner.

[Sean Detorre]

I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack.

[Luke Burbank]

But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. I mean, a lot of that didn't even make sense in the context of the movie. That's why I was really surprised. Now you're right, Greg. This movie was directed by Bill Condon, made Chicago and. And you would imagine that he would try to make it, I don't know, sort of more believable and have the dialogue be less cheesy. But you think it actually went in the wrong direction?

[Greg]

Yeah, like totally. Neither of, like, none of the movies, in my opinion, have come close to what Catherine Katherine Hardwick did with the first one. Like, the first one will always, always be my favorite one. The other one is just, I don't know, especially knowing that an Academy Award winner behind this. There's. It should have just been so much better. But I will say that Edward looked extremely good in this one. Like, really good. I mean, damn his hair. Everything looks really good. But I don't know. I mean, it was. It was. It was a definite. It was a good movie, but it was just not what I expected.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm a little bit confused by the plot because I understand that she gets. Okay, so she gets pregnant from Edward because they finally get married. They finally get married, but then she's not supposed to be able to get pregnant, but she somehow weirdly is. But then she can't.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, it's just that it hasn't really happened before because vampires usually eat people, so this kind of, like, consensual sex situation where the human doesn't get eaten afterward hasn't really ever happened. So nobody knew it was possible.

[Luke Burbank]

I see. But then there's a thing where she. The baby's gonna kill her because it's too powerful. It's too.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It's moving around in the womb, and so it's doing things like breaking her ribs and stuff because it's really strong.

[Luke Burbank]

But then they can't give her a C section because it's not ready.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

They can't get into it because it has some kind of protective shell around it that they literally can't puncture.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

So the vampire baby is, like, protecting itself.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, well, now that makes sense. What's that?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, they had. That was the cg. They used the same Captain America CGI to make her look like the baby was killing her because the baby was taking all of her nutrients. And so she was like soup. Like, she looked like she was in a concentration camp.

[Greg]

Didn't you think? Horrible. That was so awful.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we need to be worried about spoiling anything for people, or is this one of those movies that, like, if you haven't read the books, if you haven't already seen it. Because I wanted to talk about the ending. What I understand. I haven't seen the movie, but what I understand the ending to be.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, the ruling is really on books, I would think. And the book has been out for over a year, so I think we're fine. And also, I think this conversation has been enough of a spoiler alert so.

[Luke Burbank]

We can go, well, that she got pregnant. Would that have been.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

No, I'm just saying I think we can totally talk about it. The book's been out for well over a year.

[Luke Burbank]

So this is a real cliffhanger, right? Because they basically have to try to get this baby out of her. Do we know if the baby has made it out of her or not? At the end of this movie, the baby. Okay.

[Greg]

To the baby.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Greg]

Okay. So, Jen, I can say what happened.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Let's go ahead and talk about it. I think everybody. Everybody who's interested, for the most part, has read the book. So let's go ahead.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. That's a good call.

[Greg]

Okay. So she gives birth to the baby, and as she's holding the baby, the baby bites her just above her right breast.

[Luke Burbank]

Baby has obviously never listened to the Yo Gabba Gabba song, don't bite your friends, which is awesome and instructional. So he bites the baby bites her. The vampire baby bites Bella.

[Greg]

Yeah. And she does die. Edward, frantically, is trying to revive her.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And we totally forgot to tell the grossest part, which is that the way they finally got the baby out was Edward ripped the baby out with his fangs.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa.

[Sean Detorre]

Really?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. It was disgusting. He finally. His fangs were the only thing that could penetrate the shell, and so he actually ripped into her belly and fanged her open.

[Sean Detorre]

Sweet.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Was disgusting. That was the grossest birth scene I have ever seen in my life.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually what I. What I heard from Tom Tangney, who reviewed it on the radio show. He said it just turns into an absolute bloodbath.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

It was a bloodbath. Oh, it's gross.

[Luke Burbank]

So. So what? So what's the. What is the cliff? What's the cliff that we're hanging from at the end of this? Is it that. Is it that. Is Bella gonna ever be revived? Is that the big question?

[Greg]

Well, she is revived.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay?

[Greg]

And after all these cheesy, stupid effects of, like, the venom flowing through her body, which I thought was stupid, she's laying. She's laying on the table. And her. She looks normal again. She's. She's beautiful again because she's gone through the change. And the very last scene. I believe it was the very last scene, her eyes open, and her eyes.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Are bright red because vampires have. Have red eyes.

[Luke Burbank]

Now. Isn't that an okay thing, though, because she and Edward can just be vampire parents together with their vampire baby. Isn't that an elegant solution?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, there's something big coming. Yeah, yeah. Now's the big. There's a big.

[Luke Burbank]

The baby's gonna actually have werewolf fur. And then there's gonna be a really awkward conversation.

[Sean Detorre]

Maybe it's part liker.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

There's something really important with the baby and the werewolf, and there's something really, really important with vampire law in Terms of vampire babies.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, snap. Is it Taylor Lautner's?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I'm not gonna say.

[Sean Detorre]

Are they finally gonna introduce Count Chocula into this? Into this franchise?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

He's coming from Europe.

[Sean Detorre]

Maybe. Booberry.

[Greg]

Jen.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes.

[Greg]

Oh, my God. Do I hear Sean?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Sean Detorre]

Hey, Greg.

[Greg]

Oh, my God. What's up, Sean?

[Sean Detorre]

Hey, you know, I'm just kicking it.

[Luke Burbank]

How are you? Sean does a show called the Mixtape on Fridays. Don't be nervous to talk to him, though. You keep finding out about our side projects.

[Greg]

You know, I haven't talked to Sean in a long time. I mean, every now and then to say hi to him on Facebook, but.

[Sean Detorre]

Yeah. Well, it's nice to hear you, man.

[Greg]

Yeah, you too.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you were gonna. You. You. You wanted to discuss some. Some plot point with Jen?

[Greg]

Well, yeah. Okay. Well, not really that, but it's the fact that I don't. Jen, did you notice how Kellen Letz, who plays Emmett, kept change? Like his face?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes. His physicality changed. Like he looked like a different person in every single scene.

[Greg]

Yeah. What was episode?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I have no idea. That was very weird.

[Greg]

Yeah, I thought I was just imagining things or something and then. Yeah, that was really weird. There's a couple of parts where he is so ugly, so nasty. Like in the beginning. Oh, by the way, the wedding dress was gorgeous.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yes, the wedding dress was amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

Not since the Kardashians.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And I loved the. I loved the honeymoon too, I have to say. I thought the honeymoon was shot really beautifully and it was gorgeous. And I liked that they actually got to be happy for like five minutes because the whole. Been like four movies of just dour, melancholy sadness. And so, like, they at least gave them five minutes of joy before it all went to hell.

[Greg]

Yep.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, so it sounds, Greg, like you thought it was. You thought it was kind of. So. So. But you also were mad that you're gonna have to wait to watch the next one. It was sort of like complaining to the waiter that the soup is bland and cold and also the portions are too small.

[Greg]

Well, it's because I'm hoping that there's. Well, actually, they can't do anything better because the movie's already been shot. They filmed it at the same time as they were filming this one. So I don't know. I just. I don't know what I was thinking about doing was because I am a very, very impatient person. Yeah, very impatient. So I want to start an online petition to get it released sooner. And I know I will spread that petition all around, all the Twilight fan pages, all that kind of stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

If you. If you actually get it jotted up, Greg, we'll put it up on tbtl for what that's worth. I'm not kidding. That's not. That's not that big of a deal. But that will help you. I don't know if it'll work, but it's worth a shot.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

You're not making a. You're not making a promise that you're gonna get it on. Wait, wait. Well, you could probably get it on here.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe on the mixtape. So. So overall, though, I guess. I guess. What would you recommend? You're not. You're still recommending this film? What's Greg's Chocolate Hearts?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

No, it's Hershey Kisses.

[Luke Burbank]

Hershey. No. Hershey Hearts.

[Greg]

No, it's Chocolate Heart.

[Luke Burbank]

It was a chocolate heart.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

So we have to always kind of remember what the scale for these things is. It was high school. Was High School the musical.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, I think Beaches is.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Beaches is the maximum. Beaches is five.

[Greg]

Absolutely.

[Luke Burbank]

Fine. What's, like, the worst? What's the lowest review a movie's gotten on this show from you?

[Greg]

Oh, it was. Dragged Me to hell.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah. Yeah, that was when he hated.

[Luke Burbank]

It was like, absolutely horrible. Like. Well, how many was like half a heart?

[Greg]

Yeah. Yeah, I think that was it.

[Luke Burbank]

So where would this. Where would this fall?

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Well, where does the original. You said the original Twilight is your favorite. Where would you put that?

[Greg]

Yeah, that's five.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

That's five. Okay, so I've seen that movie over a hundred times.

[Greg]

I love that movie.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Okay, so that's not even an exaggeration. I believe you. Where. Where is Breaking dawn part one?

[Greg]

Part one? Let's say two. Two and a half something somewhere right there.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

About middle of the road. Would you say it's. Of the ones after Twilight, it's your least favorite or.

[Greg]

Yeah, definitely my least favorite.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know what I mean. Bill Condon is by all accounts, a really talented guy. He did direct Dreamgirls.

[Greg]

I never even seen that.

[Luke Burbank]

What?

[Greg]

Nope. Had no interest in seeing that stupid movie.

[Luke Burbank]

I am very surprised, Gregory. I just. I would have guessed.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

I am telling you.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought. I would think that you would go in for a good torch song, my friend.

[Greg]

I need to say something really quick.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Greg]

I am so disappointed with the American Music Awards last night. I don't know if you guys watched it.

[Luke Burbank]

I did. I saw that. JLO did some sexy dancing, though.

[Greg]

Okay. No, no. See, she was probably the best. Like, the absolute best. But then freaking. When Heidi Klum surprised Katy Perry with that award like she didn't know she was gonna win it. And Taylor Swift, Are you kidding me? She acts surprised every time she wins an award, every time her name is announced. Girl, just get your award, get off stage and you know, whatever. You know you're gonna win. Just whatever. Justin Bieber didn't win last night. I'm so mad. Anyway, were you.

[Luke Burbank]

You believed, by the way, you believed the bib the whole time that the kid was not his son, right?

[Greg]

Come on. How can. Why people thought that Justin Bieber is after a show, going to go pick a girl, take her into the bathroom and get busy with her. Everybody has seen all the security that is around that kid whenever he's anywhere. And when he does a show, he's automatically taken off stage and out of the building.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that was my hunch too.

[Greg]

He is not going to risk his career with doing something that stupid.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, you were. You were right. Your, your, your. Your gut did not lead you wrong on this one, Greg, because you were totally right. She dropped the suit. So. So, so you were right. She was wrong. Apparently. Okay, well, Greg, obviously we don't want to wait an entire year to get another review from you. We will definitely love to hear about the breaking Dawn Part 2, but in the meantime, is there anything on your radar? Are there any movies out there that you are really getting stoked about?

[Greg]

You know, I'm good. I didn't see any. Like I was. I didn't see like the trailers for anything. One movie I want to see, but it comes out in two weeks and you know, we usually wait longer for me to be on the show.

[Luke Burbank]

So what is that movie? I'm just curious.

[Greg]

What's it called? New Year's Eve or something like that?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's from the. They made Valentine's Day and they just make movies that have Hollows in it. Oh, I see. Well, that's. You know, the way we could do this is just look at his IMDb page, figure out whatever it is that Efron's doing, and then we know that that's one that Greg will definitely be. Will be down for. Well, you and Jen, you and Jen stay in touch and we'll figure out something in the not distant future. Greg, we can have you back on again because you're one of our favorite.

[Greg]

Guests and I love you guys and it's really good talking to you guys.

[Luke Burbank]

Good to talk to you too. Thanks, Greg. All right.

[Greg]

You're welcome.

[Luke Burbank]

Bye.

[Sean Detorre]

Bye.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know why we can find Greg's commentary to just movies because American Music Awards, Bieber paternity. He's got his eye on the ball. And I almost said on an how do I I was almost said on a number of different balls and then I so that's going to do it here on this Monday afternoon edition of the show. We have some exciting stuff coming up this week, though. Tomorrow we're going to have Feist on. And then on Wednesday, Marc Maron will be hanging out with us, so make sure you tune in for those. And then we got some really fun Thanksgiving and day after Thanksgiving shows planned as well. Thanks for listening. We'll see you tomorrow. Until we meet again, please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Jen Flash Andrews]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Here's some Yo Gabba Gabba. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop, stop, Muno. We can't play if you bite, poofa. We don't ever want to bite our friends? Don't, don't, don't bite your friends? Don't, don't, don't bite your friends? We don't bite our friends, no bite, we don't pull the hair? Friends are our friends? So we treat them with care? So don't, don't, don't bite your friends? Don't, don't, don't bite your friends? We don't want to hurt? We don't want to bite? We don't want to fight, no way? Cause that's not right, no way? So don't, don't, don't bite your friends? Don't, don't, don't bite your friends? Don't, don't, don't bite your friends? Don't, don't, don't bite your friends.