This week, we blast off with a tale as old as grift: Fyre Fest 2 has been postponed—again—proving that you really can fail upward if you squint hard enough and wear enough white linen. Over at Automattic, employees discovered secret watermarks in their internal comms, because what workplace isn’t better with a sprinkle of corporate surveillance cosplay? Meanwhile, Katy Perry took a joyride to the upper atmosphere with Gayle King and Bezos’ better half, giving us the 2025 edition of the cringiest “Imagine”-style celebrity moment yet. Spoiler: no one needed this.

In Elon World™, things are somehow even weirder. Seth Rogen dropped some truth bombs about Silicon Valley’s MAGA leanings, only to have them surgically removed from the Breakthrough Prize stream. Musk, for his part, is managing his growing empire of baby mamas like a Bond villain with a baby registry. Add in a cringe-filled offer to a YouTuber to become Space Karen’s next broodmare, and we’ve officially entered peak simulation. Meanwhile, whistleblowers are spilling DOGE secrets, OpenAI is building a social network (because we clearly don’t have enough doomscrolling options), and 4chan has finally been hacked into oblivion. Pour one out—for the internet’s dumpster fire.

Also in the news: Google lost a big ad tech monopoly case (cue tiny violins), China is no longer buying the “autonomous” car hype after a fatal crash, and Trump’s FCC chair is threatening Comcast for not being enough like Fox News (as if that’s the journalistic gold standard). The Pentagon’s nerd squad resigned after butting heads with DOGE, Reality Labs burned $45 billion like it was going out of style, and AI customer service bots are now inventing policies out of thin air. Oh, and if your AI thinks your Python package has a delivery issue—you’re not crazy, it probably hallucinated it. Welcome to the future.

Fyre Fest 2 Postponed: “New Date Will Be Announced”
https://consequence.net/2025/04/fyre-fest-2-postponed-new-date-will-be-announced/

Following Layoffs, Automattic Employees Discover Leak-Catching Watermarks

Unfortunately for Katy Perry, That “Space Flight” Turned Out Exactly How We All Knew It Would
https://slate.com/life/2025/04/katy-perry-space-gayle-king-lauren-sanchez-bezos.html

We Finally Have 2025’s “Imagine” Video
https://slate.com/culture/2025/04/katy-perry-blue-origin-space-flight-gayle-king-lauren-sanchez.html

Let them eat space

Seth Rogen’s Criticism of Silicon Valley’s Support for Trump Was Cut From the “Full” Stream of Breakthrough Prize

The Tactics Elon Musk Uses to Manage His ‘Legion’ of Babies—and Their Mothers

Glamorous influencer Tiffany Fong breaks silence on Elon Musk's 'offer to impregnate her' with shocking statement

A whistleblower's disclosure details how DOGE may have taken sensitive labor data

Electronics exempted from reciprocal tariffs will soon be subject to new semiconductor tariffs instead

Google loses ad tech monopoly case

China cracks down on 'autonomous' car claims after fatal accident

Trump’s FCC chair threatens Comcast, demands changes to NBC news coverage

OpenAI is building a social network

4chan Likely Gone Forever After Hackers Take Control

Company apologizes after AI support agent invents policy that causes user uproar

Pentagon tech unit resigns after clash with Musk's DOGE

What Does a Corrupt Election Look Like?

Tesla puts finishing touches on Hollywood charge-n-diner

Inside the $45 billion cash burn at Reality Labs

We Have a Package for You! A Comprehensive Analysis of Package Hallucinations by Code Generating LLMs

The business of the AI labs by Max Bolingbroke

If you want more of this amazing goodness head over to https://gog.show/ and subscribe to the Grumpy Old Geeks podcast. If the news is enough then you may have the rest of the day off!

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