#643: Daddy Tom

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #643: Daddy Tom (July 7, 2025)

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! reunites Walt Flanagan, Bryan Johnson, and Brian "Q" Quinn for an uncensored, meandering hangout blending comic book nostalgia, pop culture hot takes, and their signature brand of self-deprecating friendship. The core of the episode explores aging, avoiding obligations, the changing comic/fandom landscape, and plenty of humorous hypotheticals—including their signature "Flanny's Choice" scenario game—culminating in offbeat discussions about marriage, health, adaptation, and friendship.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Changes, Boundaries & Aging

• Letting Go of Obligations: Q opens up about a new philosophy—turning down offers and events for the sake of his own happiness.

  "I've been enjoying life a lot more lately because I have been taking everything off my plate. It's all gone. It's all gone. Yeah, it's great."
  — Q (01:25)

  The guys riff on saying no, compensation, reps pushing work, and the resulting cranky or supportive reactions from friends/agents.

• Aging & Memory: They reminisce about their comic-reading past and how time erodes memory.

  "I gotta remember 57 years worth of stuff."
  — Bryan (08:16)

  The realities of their physical limitations (pain, surgery, 'liver spots', joint replacements) and the existential shift that comes with approaching 70 come up, with humor but also real candor.

• Generation Gaps & Technology: The guys discuss becoming out of touch as tech evolves.

  "Do you see yourself giving up at some point on technology?"
  — Walt (15:42)

  Despite being "almost 50," they're still in touch, but unsure how long that will last.

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2. Pop Culture: Comics, Movies & Fan Response

• Dark Tower, Sandman, Berni Wrightson: Q shares his reading (and re-reading) list, segues into creator controversies, and the value he’s gotten from long, immersive series.

  "I started tearing up a little bit... these characters that I have been with since I was a little kid..."
  — Q on Dark Tower (06:48)

• Comic Artists & Early Convention Stories: A vintage story about meeting Bernie Wrightson at a church basement con (09:00-11:00) becomes a running joke (“gay for Bernie”), hilariously recounted in their natural, riff-heavy style.

• Punisher Oddities & Changing Times: Marvel’s more questionable past "blackface" storylines, movie adaptations, and cult films like "Soul Man" and "White Chicks" spark a talk on shifting societal boundaries.

• Superman Movie Anticipation: The upcoming Superman film, leaks, controversies (the “12 year old in India” gaffe), and fan negativity are dissected.

  "It is absolutely like fatiguing, the millions and millions of people shitting on it before it's even released. It's just staggering."
  — Walt (18:03)

  The “Superman robots” and Krypto scene, Supergirl’s cameo, and overall hope for quality over origin rehashes are discussed.

• Fantastic Four & Insider Screenings: More speculations about upcoming comic movies, insight from friends who work on films or get screeners, and a lament over the loss of physical Marvel Masterworks.

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3. Relationships & Marriage

• Marriage Anxiety & Prenups: Bryan marks five years married and dives into doubts about prenups, hypothetical divorce anxieties, and aging in relationships.

  "I knew her then. I don't know her five years from then and I certainly don't know her ten years from then..."
  — Bryan (34:18)

• Aging & Appearance: Jokes about scars vs. liver spots, and the desire to show physical “battle damage” versus simply looking old.

• Health & Weight Loss: The trio swaps battle stories about surgeries, joint replacements, and aches. Bryan details joining a group weight loss effort (“Daddy Tom” is referenced here as his support buddy).

  "So far, I lost five and a half [pounds]."
  — Bryan (41:39)

  Discussion of Ozempic’s rise in popularity and cultural stigma, with commentary on high-profile cases like Lizzo.

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4. Flanny's Choice: Scenario Game [47:33–89:08]

A signature segment where Walt poses "Would You Rather"-style hypotheticals for the group to guess how he would respond.

Memorable Scenarios:

• Godzilla Cameo: Would Walt play “God Shitta,” a janitor who slips on kaiju poop in the American Godzilla movie for viral infamy?
  Answer: No; not for no pay or in the American version (50:29).

• Choosing Comics Over Friendships: Would Walt give up contact with Sunday Jeff in exchange for unlimited future Marvel Masterworks?
  Answer: No; he values the friendship more (57:17).

• Family Sacrifice for Free Rent: Would Walt have his wife tattoo 'Get 'Em's face' on her lower back for a decade of free storefront rent?
  Answer: No (59:17).

• Erasing Worst Memory at the Price of Losing Wedding Day Memories:
  Answer: No, memories, even painful, shape who you are (67:07).

• Neighborly Obligations for a Free Roof: Would Walt commit to daily beers and weekly hangouts with a neighbor for a free roof?
  Answer: Yes! (72:10) — shock to the others, but he couldn’t imagine being so rude as to turn down such generosity.

• Comic Book Men Docu-Series With Mike as Star: Would Walt sign on if Mike was the featured star and Walt was minimized?
  Answer: Yes, for same pay and less work (76:12).

• Lifetime Devils Tickets: Which 'Work Son' Would Walt Bring?:
  Answer: Tom, because his wife would limit his attendance, freeing the extra seat for others (81:54).

• Tom Brady as Guest, But Walt Must Call Him ‘Daddy’: Would Walt do it?
  Answer: Yes, for the comedy (84:07).

• Alternate Universe With Ming, Candle Shop, and a Grim Choice:
  Must kill alternate reality wives to return.
  Answer: Walt outsmarts the scenario—lets Ming do the deed and then stays, ready to "mingle" (89:08).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Comic Nostalgia/Tears:
  "I'm not ashamed to say it, like, I started tearing up a little bit because like, you know, these characters that I have been with since I was a little kid..." (06:48) — Q

• On Bitterness in Online Fandom:
  "It is absolutely like fatiguing the millions and millions of people shitting on it before it's even released. It's just staggering." (18:03) — Walt

• Self-Awareness of Aging:
  "All I'm doing is reminding everyone else how long I've stood the test of time. Like, that's an old guy." (37:52) — Bryan

• Body Reality:
  "I mean, I don't feel great now... my shoulder always hurts, my wrist always hurts..." (38:24) — Q

• On "BlueChew" Ad Copy:
  "The guys using Blue Chew are of the age where their wives and girlfriends are not in group chats talking about how they got dicked up last night." (31:02) — Q

• On Ozempic & Weight Stigma:
  "So many people I know are on it and, and it works. It works." (44:01) — Q

• On Flanny's Choice Game:
  "Not enough BlueChew in the world to overcome that fucking issue." (57:58) — Q, about the tattoo scenario

• On Morality & Parallel Families:
  "I let Ming go first and then find a new hub." (89:08) — Walt, on the alternate universe scenario

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Introduction/Life Philosophy Shift: 01:04–03:09
• Q’s Deep Reading Habits/Dark Tower: 03:15–06:48
• Aging & Memory Lane/Bernie Wrightson Story: 08:01–11:41
• On “Soul Man”/Times Changing: 13:07–15:16
• Superman Movie/Fandom Negativity & Leaks: 17:22–22:40
• On Movie Screeners & Marvel Masterworks: 25:06–26:27 / 52:02–56:00
• Marriage Discussion/Prenup Anxiety: 33:50–36:04
• Health & Aging/Knee Replacement: 39:25–41:41
• Weight Loss, Ozempic, and Cultural Attitudes: 41:13–45:46
• Scenario Game ‘Flanny’s Choice’ Begins: 47:33–89:08

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Conclusion

This episode encapsulates why Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! maintains such a devoted following: irreverent but sincere explorations of comic books, movies, marriage, and mortality. The chemistry between the hosts keeps the banter sharp, the self-deprecation relatable, and the pop culture discussions both nostalgic and current. Fans get everything: inside jokes, aged wisdom, and the wry games and hypothetical debates that define the show’s spirit.

Transcript

[A]

There's some unhappy people in the wake, but what are you gonna do?

[B]

Well, as long as there's one guy.

[A]

Who'S happy you stepped in.

[B]

But my Superman's father was Marlon Brand.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Coming right off of Last Tango in Paris with the butter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tell him, Steve Dave.

[C]

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Them, Steve Dave. I'm sitting here with my two good buddies, Walt Flanagan.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

And bq.

[A]

How you stanking? That's right. He's not in the room.

[C]

You're gonna co. You're.

[A]

It's mine now. It's mine.

[C]

So, bq, you just came in, you said you're not doing anything for fourth of July.

[A]

You're just.

[C]

You're cooling out because a couple weeks ago you were talking about maybe having a party.

[A]

I have been in. I've been enjoying life a lot more lately because I have been taking everything off my plate. It's all gone. It's all gone. Yeah, it's great.

[B]

Massive moves.

[A]

Massive moves.

[B]

How has the ramifications shaped out for that? Have there been.

[A]

No, there's some unhappy people in the wake. But what are you gonna do?

[B]

As long as there's one guy who's happy, as long as the most important guy is happy, who cares about the other people?

[A]

I didn't break any promises. You know what I'm saying? I didn't let anybody down. I just started saying no and.

[B]

Nice, isn't it? I've been saying it for years. Decades.

[A]

Walter, this is the way I wish you had pulled me aside. I've turned down things that I literally am. Like, if you told me five years ago I was turning them down, I'd be like, no way is my guy turning that down. And I'm just like, nah, I don't want to do anything. It's awesome. I can't fuck out. I'm loving it.

[C]

This is a different BQ than a couple weeks ago when we went to the diner. I'm very happy to see this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have a sparkle in your eye.

[A]

I do. I do. It's. I go to work.

[B]

You got a good flesh tone, too.

[A]

I come home, I read, I play video games. I enjoy my life. It's been pretty great.

[C]

Awesome.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. I can't believe I turned down acting roles and all sorts of things. Appearances, places. I just been like, no, it's driving my reps nuts a little bit, you know, because they get paid when I get paid, but I'm like, what do you want?

[C]

Yeah. They don't want to hear now they don't want to hear.

[A]

Now they do not want to hear it. Especially when they're like.

[C]

But look at.

[A]

Look at everybody else. Look at. Look what everybody else is doing. They're all out there doing it. And I'm like, good.

[C]

Good luck for them.

[A]

Go. Let them do it. I'm good.

[C]

Been enjoying that pool.

[A]

Been enjoying the pool a bunch.

[C]

Finally floating around. No rain.

[A]

Floating around in that thing. Reading, reading, reading. Rewrite. Finish Dark Tower. I started reading Sandman again.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Comic book? Yeah, yeah. Just. Just flipping through it.

[B]

How many issues will you get in before you're like, will you get all the way through to the end?

[A]

I'll probably get through to the end, yeah. But it'll take a little longer than. Than normal.

[B]

I would have to power through that.

[A]

You can't finish Sandman.

[B]

You hear? You hear? He's Persona non grata. No gaming.

[A]

Yeah, but he wrote this 30 years ago. What am I gonna do? What do you want for me? I already own them. It's not like he's getting more money for me.

[C]

Did he do something sexy?

[B]

Yeah, he did some. Some gross stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's not a good.

[A]

He denies it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So I don't know where that leaves you. But me? Yeah.

[C]

I don't know. Same place, five seconds ago.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's just in the mood for something a little otherworldly.

[B]

And how many times have you read the Dark Tower?

[A]

The first three Dark Tower.

[B]

How many times have you read Dark Tower?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

The first.

[B]

Terror in his eyes because.

[C]

All of a sudden the sound goes out.

[A]

No, it's scary stuff. I would say the first Dark Tower. First three Dark Tower books, there was a period where I was reading them, like, once a year till the new books came out. So I probably read the whole series through, like, three or four times. But those first three or four books, I've. I mean, double digits, for sure. Like, double digits. I mean, I got the gunslinger when I was, like, 13 or 14, and I read it every year, so probably.

[B]

More your favorite book.

[A]

It was at one time. I don't. I don't know if. If. If it. If I would say it is now.

[B]

And they made movies, Right?

[A]

It tried.

[B]

Didn't work. I didn't work.

[A]

Yeah, it didn't work. I actually rewatched the movie after I finished the last book, because the way the books are set up without spoiling it for anybody who's read it, the movie was technically a sequel to the books. Yeah. It's like. And when, having reread all the Books and went right into the movies are done. Like they misplayed everything. But it was more forgiving and it was. I was a little more interesting going straight from the end of the book to the front of the series.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm ashamed to say that as a Stephen King. Well, one time fan anyway. Never read the series.

[B]

That's just strange.

[A]

I tried to get you to read to it.

[B]

You were.

[C]

I was super into it.

[A]

Over the years I've tried to get you to read it and you just. For some reason it doesn't grab you.

[C]

I have them all.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They're sitting right on my bookshelf.

[B]

And it's not.

[C]

That's what I should do this summer.

[B]

It's technically horror. Right. It's more action.

[A]

It's. It's more Western. Western action. But he is not. There is horror in it. It crosses over at Salem's Lot directly. I don't know if you remember. Sounds a lot. Father Callahan when he gets in the bus and leaves town.

[C]

Right.

[A]

He ends up in the last three Dark Tower books.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. And he's a main character in those books. He's fucking awesome. And there are crossovers with Hearts in Atlantis. There are crossovers. So there are heart and it. Like there's some it crossovers, but. And there's horror elements for sure. For sure. Yeah. It's. It's fucked up. It's like weird horror, sci fi fans.

[B]

I'm surprised that you have never especially somebody was into King so much.

[C]

Yeah. I think at the time it might have been because I'm like, okay, this is ongoing. I'll get them all, then I'll read them. And then once. And then. Yes. And then once I look at. You know, then you just read the 10 dictionaries on my bookshelf. It's fucking insane how fat these books are. Like, the first one's like, all right, this is manageable. And then after that, forget it.

[A]

Yeah, that gets insane. But like, by the. I was reading. So I was floating in my pool and I was reading the last book and it's like when shit starts going down and I started. I'm not ashamed to say it, like, I started like tearing up a little bit because like, you know, these characters that I have been with since I was a little kid and what happens to him in the end and, you know, who lives, who dies, stuff like that. And I'm tearing up and Helen walks in. Oh, hey.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

How's it going? What do we need? What's going on?

[C]

It's Hot out here. I'm sweating.

[B]

So you will read the physical copy or are you reading digital?

[A]

I will, I will. I have both. So what I'll do is if I'm in the pool, I'll read it on the iPad.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And if I'm in the house or like poolside, I'll just.

[B]

Yeah, first editions. Or.

[A]

Or you do.

[B]

So they go from any kind of money, those first edition.

[A]

I mean, these are well read books. These aren't like pristine. Yeah, yeah. These loved, very well loved books. So I don't know what, but they are all first editions. Yeah. Bernie Wrightson did a lot of the artwork for him. It just. It's cool, dude. Yeah.

[C]

One of the few artists I met early, very early on.

[B]

I was gonna say we could do a retelling Steve Dave segment if you. If you want. You want to talk about you. If our very first retell. Tell him Steve Dave story.

[C]

Talk about the year is 1988.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Let me reach back.

[A]

Father and father every day.

[C]

Yeah, that's it. I told somebody the other day, I was like, I didn't remember something. And I was like, you gotta understand, man, like as I get older, I gotta push out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I can't remember 57 years worth of stuff.

[A]

No way.

[C]

It's too much.

[A]

Oh, I can't Even remember like 10 years ago I'm starting like.

[C]

But I do vaguely remember the Bernie Wrights. And it was me, you and Kev, right? Yeah.

[B]

We were at a kind of a small con or it was a New York church con. Right.

[C]

It was a New York church con. Yeah.

[B]

In the basement of a church in New York Comic Con before they were right. But they became, you know, these monstrous.

[A]

Yeah, I remember the church Basement Wire.

[B]

4 day events and I don't want to tell your story.

[C]

Go ahead. I met Bernie Wright.

[B]

Well, the big joke was, of course.

[C]

I was gay for Bernie.

[B]

I don't understand. All right. Home was because Brian made a point to make sure you spell it with a Y.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Cause I got my name, I got a poster of the Frankenstein poster that Bernie Wright's drawn. And it was just a print, obviously. And I went up and I stood in line, got it signed and made sure that he knew it was Brian with a Y. That was all it took. After that, I'm stuck in cocks.

[B]

Bernie, you know what a Y looks like? Picture me laying down with my legs.

[C]

Spread out wide, hands above my head. Kim, why ask why Bernie?

[A]

Why not Bernie?

[C]

And it was.

[B]

Do you remember the print you got signed?

[C]

It was A Prometheus, Right.

[B]

It was. Yeah. It was his super highly detailed pen and ink Frankenstein pages.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

That he did for the Marvel graphic novel.

[A]

I remember that. Yeah.

[B]

They were like. They were the etchings of a madman. Because there was about a billion lines in these drawings.

[A]

Right. And the detail's insane.

[C]

It's.

[B]

Yeah, it's on another level. It's like. It's. You could say it might be the. Like. Either have to be like Rain man focused.

[C]

Okay. I just realized that I wasn't recording, so this might sound a little bit different from the file you were just listening to, but. Yes. Just to show you that, you know, 15 years in.

[A]

It's complicated. It's two, three buttons.

[C]

It's. It's. No, it's four. It's four. And I just looked down and I'm like, why are these lights not. Oh, shit. I didn't fucking press record. Okay, so now we're back.

[A]

We're back. Okay. We're bad.

[C]

And we're talking.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

Okay. And we were talking about. There's this. There's. There's some kind of loose connection on this thing, I think. Yeah. Like, it's. It's fine. But the sound on my headphones goes out once in a while.

[B]

Let me hear those. Yeah, go ahead. Keep talking about Bernie.

[C]

Okay, so we're talking about Bernie and me being gay with Bernie and his insane drawing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

With all the lines and everything. And I remember it said, like, it will. Like, I will be with you on your wedding night. Right? Is that what it said? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And of course, that became Brian, Bernie's wedding.

[C]

Our wedding night.

[B]

It became.

[A]

He was talking directly to Brian.

[C]

Yeah. So I guess that was one of the cons where amuse wasn't there. So all of a sudden I was in the barrel. Boy, did I get it.

[B]

What's your favorite Bernie Wrightson comic book work?

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

He did remember that Really Weird 4 issue Punisher series where Punisher became an agent of hell.

[A]

He did. Marvel Knights Punisher was him.

[B]

That was the first Marvel Knights Punisher. Yeah. Where he was a. He was an agent for hell.

[A]

Yeah. He. They gave him like ghost guns and that sign signal on his head and stuff like that.

[B]

That was Bernie.

[A]

I fucking read that when it came out, man. And I remember being like, this is the biggest pile of dog shit. I don't remember the art at all.

[B]

He was the artist. But he didn't write it, though.

[A]

No, I know, but like, I never went back to it because I just remember always being like a Miss take on this character, which. Do you remember how Garth Ennis retconned it? Like, when he. When he restarted it, he was literally like, he threw some. He threw someone off the Empire State Building or. Or something like that. And he just made a comment about how, like, the angels held me up here once. Just made like a throwaway comment about how, like, told him. Told him to off came back to Earth. And I'm like, all right. Hey, comic books, man. Like, I guess you could do that. They give Punisher some weird stories, man. That Franken Punisher, the.

[B]

Where you turned black one time.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that was a. That was. That was 70s, right?

[B]

No, that was 80s. That was late 80s.

[A]

Late 80s.

[B]

Yeah, that was late 80s. And Luke Cage was a guest star.

[A]

And he went undercover in prison or something like that. And he's like, the only way anybody believe it is I'm on black. And Marvel was like, go for it.

[B]

Well, Soul man was at the top of the box office charts, so Marvel was.

[A]

He took a movie. He took tanning pills to get the college as a black kid. Love to see them try to make that movie today. It would be awesome.

[C]

It would be amazing. Well, they did the reverse with white chicks, right? That was.

[A]

White chicks has grown into this cult class.

[C]

People.

[A]

People do love it. They're making a sequel and everything like that.

[C]

Oh, are they?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I always thought they look like aliens.

[A]

They look weird.

[C]

Yeah, their eyes look weird and their faces just look like alien.

[A]

I saw in theaters. I saw, I guess, you know, suspend disbelief.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But I don't think Soulmate would be made today. It'd be ballsy, though.

[A]

I think someone will do it.

[C]

Think so?

[A]

Yeah. Not us, but someone will do it.

[C]

Yeah. And he never caught shit for that C. Thomas.

[A]

Hell, he is so long ago. I think people are like, we can't hold this kid responsible like the movie that they made. But yeah, he does. He. I've heard him in interviews say, like, obviously I wouldn't take that role today.

[C]

Right. But it's weird, isn't it weird the way, like, time works is that, like. And in our lifetime, certain things are totally fine.

[A]

Oh, sure.

[C]

And then it turns out not at all.

[A]

I think about things like this sometimes. And I think about. And I know that it's like I don't think about the Roman Empire a lot.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Like, they had that thing where people do. But I do think, like, what a weird period of history because let's, let's. I know it lasted more than a thousand years, but let's just say a thousand years, right. And if you were born in the middle of that, like, you had 80 years in that middle of a thousand. Like, you can't ever imagine the world being any other way because everything was the same 500 years before you were born. Everything's going to be the same 500 years after you. When there's. There was no change. It was just like, this is the way the world is. There was. You know what I mean? It was like, so to live in our times where it's like you can't even fucking keep up with the changes that are coming now.

[C]

One day something's fine, the next day it's like, for example, the word queer.

[A]

Queer.

[C]

You just call people queers as a pejorative.

[A]

Yeah. And then I called it all the time because of the name. Yeah.

[C]

I was almost married to Bernie Wrightson, you know, but then there was a long period where it's like, hey, don't say that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And now they want to be called a queer.

[A]

Grace. It's locked and loaded.

[C]

Yeah, I just, like, I just. Yeah, you're right. You can't keep up with stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But even like technology and it's just like nothing day to day. It's crazy. But hey, man, fucking deal.

[B]

Do you see yourself giving up at some point on technology being like, it's like our parents gave up and are like, I can't. I can't learn this or I can't take on this. Do you see yourself ever getting to that point?

[A]

I don't see you, but I don't. But I don't think that's something that you can. I think it just happens to you. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know that it's something that.

[C]

But I don't know.

[A]

I'm pretty current with that stuff now and I'm almost 50, so maybe. But I think that. But how much are we gonna be doing? I mean, aren't we headed to the future where you're just saying out loud like, do this and something happens?

[B]

Yeah. It looks like they are dumbing it down massively, where it's just vocal commands.

[A]

Yeah. So that's where I'll be in 20.

[C]

And the vocal Kenzer. Vocal commands are smart because Sage has an Alexa and she's not like, you know, the clearest speaker ever, but Alexa always understands.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah. I was really surprised. Like, sometimes she's. She'll be like, play Katy Perry or play Taylor Swift or play one of these. And to me, I can tell what she's saying. But to the average person, they might, might not be able to. But Alexa always knows somehow it's good. Unless it learned the first time and then it stories like, okay, this is what she's trying to get at.

[A]

Right. Well, she's probably on some sort of vocal spectrum anyway where it's like it, it learned across thousands of kids that talk like her.

[C]

Yeah. And I guess if I could learn like say like a heavy accent or.

[A]

Something like you're making fun of me.

[C]

So, you know, I'm just saying. Alexa, play me a song.

[A]

Got a Sinatra in there.

[B]

You're ready for Superman.

[A]

I can't fucking wait. I know someone who saw it.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, are you a little surprised at how much they are letting out? It seems every day there's a new two minute scene. Like almost the whole movie feels like it's been.

[A]

My friend told me some, some spoilers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're, they're good. They have not let anything. They have not let things out. There are things in there that haven't gotten out yet. Yeah.

[B]

Have you seen some of the reaction? I'm kind of. I have not miffed and not miffed, but I'm, I have to sympathize with people making this stuff today because they're dealing with shit that like people who.

[A]

Made the previous super Richard Donner didn't have to deal with this.

[B]

No, it is absolutely like fatiguing the millions and millions of people shitting on it before it's even released. It's just staggering. It's fucking staggering.

[C]

Why are they shitting on it?

[B]

They just are like, this is not my Superman. Oh, he looks like a petulant 15 year old acting like, like a spoiled brat. Like the complaints are endless. And he made, he had a misstep the other day.

[A]

Gun.

[B]

Gun. And he said something. Fuck you.

[C]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah, basically you can see in his face that's what he wants to say. But he's tiptoeing and dancing around it and he says, I have to remember that all the criticism boils down to like, why do I worry about what some 12 year old in India says?

[C]

Right?

[B]

And the Internet took that and made him. Now he's a racist.

[C]

Because it's an Indian.

[B]

Because he said India.

[C]

If he had said 12 year old in Indiana.

[A]

Yeah, it would have been fine.

[B]

He would have been fine. But he said India for some reason. I don't know why.

[A]

I'm sure he just meant distance from himself, not the country of India. Yeah. But hey, man.

[B]

But he had to come out and apologize and say how much he loves the people of India and how important Superman is to India. And I'm like, is he really.

[A]

Come on box offices.

[B]

But like, do you think the cultural. Like that is important character in their history?

[C]

Superman.

[A]

Great question. I don't know. I would think not. But like. But he is global. Like, I think, you know, I think. I think people in India would know who is.

[B]

But would he. The way that gun was blamed on, like, how important Superman is to their.

[C]

What are you talking about?

[A]

We don't care.

[B]

I thought he was laying on a little thick. How important Superman was to the country of India and how he wanted to make. Make a Superman they could have. They could be proud of and fall in love with and of course, and uphold all Indians virtues.

[C]

Like what? You know, like, as soon as that door closes, you're like, do you believe this? Oh, yeah.

[A]

He's like, why?

[C]

Did I just say Indiana?

[B]

Yes, I did.

[A]

I did say Indiana. Cut out the.

[B]

Did you see the. The scene with the dog with. Where Superman is talking to the Superman robots? No, I love it, but the Internet hates it.

[A]

I didn't see it. I'm telling my friends to them as Superman robots that I asked specifically, I was like, does Kelix get name check in the movie? And he said, no, they're not. They didn't know. You know, one of Suitman's robots name is Kelex, and he's been, you know, consistent character since I think Burn, right, like, wrote him for the first time, whatever. And I was. That was one of the questions I asked that Gilly's got a name check. And he's like, nah, they're all just Superman robots or whatever.

[B]

Yeah, he just says, Superman robots. He goes, what the heck? He goes, why did you let Crypto destroy the Fortress of Solitude? And the robots are like, we feed the canine, but the canine knows that we're not human. And we don't care. We don't care about the dog. We'll feed it and keep it alive for you, but other than that.

[A]

Well, what's wrong with that? That's a fun scene.

[B]

It's fun. Yeah.

[A]

Those are Kryptonian robots. They're not supposed to have feelings and shit like that.

[B]

And the whole time while Superman is arguing with his own robots, Krypto is like pulling on his leg, pulling on his cape, like the most unruly dog, which.

[A]

People don't like this.

[B]

People hated it. People couldn't stand it. And to me, it made me think Of a different kind of aspect on that. Could you imagine a dog with those kind of powers who was uncontrollable, who wouldn't listen to his owner, though?

[A]

It's fucking frightening. Maybe there's a little bit in that. My buddy said that he steals the movie. The dog. He goes, everybody's gonna love the dog. He goes. Even if they go in and wanting to hate the dog.

[B]

Who goes in wanting to hate a dog?

[A]

There's fucking assholes on the Internet in Indiana. He says, the dog's great. He had complaints, which I'm just gonna, you know, I'll let them lay down. But he said, people are gonna love it. And he goes, the dog is awesome. He said, supergirl is fucking dope.

[B]

Wait a minute. Supergirl's in this?

[A]

She pops in for a little bit.

[B]

I'm really concerned. There's too many heroes, though. I really am. I hope I'm wrong.

[A]

He says it. I don't. This guy's got good taste. He said, guy Garner's fucking awesome. The Supergirl popping is fucking awesome. I don't know. He leaves.

[B]

Are you worried that about that too many superheroes in the first Superman movie?

[A]

No, I don't mind them that I'd rather this than another origin story. Like, let's meet. Let's start fucking pretending that we all know these characters and not seeing, like, him shot from the planet again and again and again. So I don't mind it. I don't mind.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Bradley Cooper is Jor El. You saw that?

[B]

No, I did not see that.

[A]

Bradley Cooper. Yeah, they leaked that the other day.

[B]

He's a little young, right?

[A]

For a Jaro. Well, I think he's a hologram in the fortress.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I see my.

[A]

Well, he's gotta be in his. He's gotta be 50s now.

[B]

But my Superman's father was Marlon Brandon. Oh, yeah. Coming right off of Last Tango in Paris with the butter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That'S my Jor El.

[A]

Jarell knew how to fucking party.

[B]

Probably. Nobody's getting that joke.

[C]

Who's listening?

[B]

What's that? Last Tango in Paris.

[C]

What's that?

[B]

And then right after that is ff Two of your two franchises you have a lot of affection for.

[A]

I do. I mean, Superman is my favorite.

[B]

How many Superman tats?

[A]

Just. Just the one.

[B]

Just the one. Maybe this new movie will make you get a new tat. That's a little less presumption.

[A]

I got to get it colored and touched.

[C]

Colored back up. Ye.

[A]

I am going to get it colored back up. You know, it's funny. Because like, I had an idea for a tattoo. Fucking, we're talking 25 years ago. And then when I one day I saw Muse and he had it where he had all the J, the Justice League symbols around him. And I was like, I can't get it, man. That's funny.

[B]

Are you worried about ff? I've seen some stuff on that too, that makes me less worried.

[C]

Where do you see these comments? Like on YouTube.

[B]

No comments. Comments on YouTube or on X or whatever. But clips are everywhere. But even the surfer girl, the gal surfer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Comes down and delivers a monologue.

[A]

The voice was cool and I was like, that's where she won me over too. I saw that clip. I was like, oh, wow, they pulled that off.

[B]

Yeah, I too, see, and it can be done. You know that, like, you can win over the fan base with quality.

[A]

Sure. I still wish they had just used Nor and Rad and had him on there and like, why not? But I have a friend who saw that movie and I didn't get any details, but he says it's good.

[B]

How to fuck your friends seeing all these movies where they're out.

[A]

They work on them here and there.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And now we're so close to him that their screenings on like the Warner Brothers lot and stuff like that, they're.

[B]

Showing, like, do the people who have ends to hollow Hollywood ends, do they still get what they called screeners before they hit the movie so that the elite can get to watch the movies?

[A]

It's all digital now. It's all digital now. Like, even the screeners for the Academy Awards and stuff like that. It's, it's, it's. Here's a. Here's an app and here's the code and you just watch it.

[B]

What's the biggest screener you ever got? Like that. They were like, we want to get this in the hands of bq. What's the biggest.

[A]

Oh, God, I only got one season of it. I don't even remember why I got to watch. I think, I think me and you watch Grease. What the fuck did we watch at Moser's house?

[B]

Greece.

[A]

What? We watch like four musicals in a row at Moser's house. One time when they renamed Greece. No, no, it's not Greece.

[C]

It wasn't Greece.

[A]

It was. There was like musicals for like. I mean, we're going back to 2004.

[C]

Is what I'm talking about. Those 20 year old memories.

[B]

Oh, wait a minute. So they were. They weren't your screeners then?

[A]

Mosers. Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

We Were house sitting for Moser and. But I. I got screeners once, and it was one season. It was every movie. But I don't remember. It was years ago. It was pre pandemic.

[B]

And how did you lose that privilege?

[A]

Because you have to be. It's about the Actors Guild and the votes and stuff like that. If you don't act enough. I mean, you guys know, like you're in the Guild, but you don't pay due. You know what I mean? You don't pay due.

[B]

We don't know shit.

[A]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

Like, they think that I died twice. As far as they're concerned, this is my second death. And I haven't. I haven't corrected them yet. And I'm dead and I'm still alive. Yeah.

[C]

Well. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know what checks I should be getting.

[A]

Oh, oh, you still.

[C]

The residuals.

[A]

30 cent checks and stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, get in touch with them.

[B]

I. I do have to, but I never make the effort. I'm always like, yeah, yeah, I gotta do that. And I'm like.

[C]

Because they're such a pain in the ass to contact. I've contacted them in the past. It's like. It's a whole thing.

[A]

Those checks come every day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

$84 every. I'm not. That's not an exaggeration. Five days a week, I get a check from them.

[C]

Yeah. A lot of times it's like the postage is more than the check.

[A]

A lot. It's a hundred every once in a while I'll get a check for like 350 bucks and I'll be like, y.

[C]

Yeah, we're doing it.

[A]

Yeah. We don't really get, you know, like, all those SAG residuals.

[C]

I wonder how you died. Twice. I mean, it's not like you have a common name.

[B]

I think it's somebody and somebody.

[C]

I pissed off that sag.

[B]

Yeah. I do. I'm not. I know you're laughing. I'm not kidding around. I believe it's done on purpose.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I believe some vindictive peon over there, when I was on the phone with him the first time, was like, dead. Yeah.

[C]

Deceased. File closed.

[A]

But I am very excited about Superman. Can't wait.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Fantastic Four. Not as much though.

[A]

It sounds like. Well, I am. I'll go see Fantastic Four that weekend. I just. Superman's my guy. You know what I mean? He's just. That's. That's a big, big deal for me.

[C]

When I went to see 28 years later, we got a trailer for Black Phone.

[A]

I never saw the first one. I read this one. I didn't see it.

[C]

Yeah, I liked it. It's. It's very, like, weird and, like, sort of 80ish. Well, the.

[A]

Like an 80 looks like dead kids start calling them. Is that in the movie?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it is. Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah. So I'm hoping the second one is just as good, but.

[A]

Okay. I don't want to spoil it for anybody. Okay, cool. Yeah. Why? What do you think? You're excited about Fantastic Four? You're ready.

[B]

I'm more excited for Superman, I think.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But. But I will see both of them with no preconceived notions. I'll try anyway. You know, I'm not. I'm not going in there. Ready to hate it, like. And that's what it feels like. The Internet is. They want to hate it.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And I don't know why. I don't know why that is. It just boggles my mind sometimes. It's like, try to at least try. Attempt to have some fun, dude.

[A]

It's a global army of keyboard warriors. That's all it is. Yeah.

[C]

So I have to. I don't like to usually disagree with the advertisers.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But this is the Enter the opening line to this week's Blue Chill, Guys. Enter the room dick first. Doesn't that depend on what room you're entering?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I guess, technically, don't we all enter every room?

[B]

I think it happens every time you enter your room. Unless you're going in walking backwards.

[A]

I mean, the older I get, it might be tits first.

[C]

For me, it would be stomach first, followed by the dick. Yeah. Bluechew isn't just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting. Like someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership. And then they have some conversation starters. Last time I took a Blue Chew, my dick got sponsored by an energy drink company. I refused to do missionary, saying it was not the. It was bad for the brand. Extreme positions only. Who these? Now we got to talk about that. We got to figure it out. I carry my Titanic.

[A]

It makes you dick hard. It doesn't give you stamina.

[B]

Yeah. It doesn't make you all of a sudden a gymnast.

[A]

You got to be fucking pumping.

[C]

Well, maybe that's because they got sponsored by the energy drink.

[B]

Whose quote is that?

[C]

That said that this is somebody, I guess the copyright.

[B]

Some sort of like.

[C]

Like an ad copywriter type person.

[B]

It's not an influencer.

[C]

I don't think so. Guys, this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy. Or third legacy. Give her group chat. Something to talk about. You know, when you lay it down, they're talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little Blue Chew.

[A]

Okay, this, this is absurd. The guys using Blue Chew are of the age where their wives and girlfriends are not in group chats talking about how they got dicked up last night. Like these are people in their 50s and shit.

[C]

But you can though, you can use it when you're younger. I. I read somewhere that Ed is affecting people younger and younger all the time.

[A]

Oh, I don't doubt that.

[C]

Yeah, I read that.

[A]

So pornography is like a scourge, right?

[C]

Yeah. And it, like, it desensitizes people.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Harder to get a bone on and all that kind of shit. So bluechew's for everybody. We've got a special deal for listeners. As always, get your first month of Bluechew free. Just promo code TESD at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join BlueChew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to bluechew.com for details and safety info. And a big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring this podcast.

[B]

Now, in the group chat, if the gal who's like, you know, bragging about what happened the night, the prior evening and, you know, getting all. All the juicy details coming out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know, really kind of putting it in her, her friends faces is like, what'd you do last night? Because this is what I did.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Does she keep back, though, that it was all fueled by a fucking drug though? And that if not for that drug.

[C]

Yeah, we want to be in this group chat right now.

[B]

Or does she let it know? Let it, let it be known. Because there is no, there's no reason not to. But does she say that, you know, he had to take the super soldier serum or.

[A]

I think she would. I think if those, if gals of a certain age are chatting about their love life, it's probably with disappointment and being like, well, Brad last night, you know, he's. Ever since he started taking that stuff, like it's back on. You try and get your husband, like, you know, maybe they're trying to be supportive and be helpful.

[B]

I don't know if women are, especially in their chats, are supportive and helpful, especially to guys.

[A]

I know fucking women are vicious on their husbands. Holy. It gets crazy in those chats. That's rough, man. I don't know, I don't feel comfortable about a woman, like, talking to other people about your shortcomings. To me, I think that's, that's a sign of not a great, not a great relationship.

[B]

The foundation may be cracked.

[A]

Yeah. Why are you not trying to make.

[C]

Him, like, why you're not bigging him up?

[A]

Yeah, like, why are you, why are you spending all your time writing down this in your words, fat loser? Like, why?

[B]

Because it's been 30 plus years.

[C]

Yeah. I was going to ask you, Walt, this August, it'll be five years for me.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

So my question to you, since you've been married, at what point were you like, how do I get out of this?

[B]

You didn't sign a prenup?

[C]

I didn't sign a prenup, no.

[B]

How come? Smart man like you, all that podcast money, just letting her have half of it.

[C]

I did actually bring it up prior because, like, there were times when I was just like, what happens if, like, this is all bullshit and she's just gonna like, next thing you know, I'm paying her for the rest of my life. Like, I would get into those moments of fear, but then I'm like, I know her, she's not gonna pull anything like that, right? But you know what? I knew her then. I don't know her five years from then and I certainly don't know her ten years from then. Like, I'm gonna reach a certain age where if I couldn't even blame her if she's just like, nah, later. Yeah, come on. So now it's like Gilbert and his wife, you know, like Gilbert all hobbling around and shit. His wife like shuffling everywhere Gilbert Gottfried before he died, Y shuffling them up here and there.

[A]

What are you gonna do? I mean, the horses lost, left the barn, bro. You didn't get that prenup. You're done. You're at the whims of the horse.

[B]

Did she though? But you also have to look at from her point of view. She couldn't have thought though that you were not going to grow older. Do you think you're perpetually going to stay middle aged?

[C]

If only.

[B]

Like she had to know that, like, she's smart, she knows that, like nobody stays the same age for a 20 year old Brian. Like a 50 year old Brian Johnson is not going to be the same as a 70 year old Brian Johnson.

[C]

I think that she, at the time, she's probably like, that's down the road.

[B]

I'll worry about that later. That's what the country does. And Then you know, then, yeah, she's on a.

[C]

Right now.

[B]

Reality hits you like a fucking two by four.

[C]

Like a 70 year old man.

[A]

Get a postnup. You can do that?

[C]

I do that?

[A]

Sure, you could do that. People do that all the time.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

How's that work? She would have to agree to it too, right?

[A]

Well, yeah, yeah, she'd have to sign.

[B]

It, but I don't think it would work in Jersey, though.

[C]

I don't know if it would work in my house.

[A]

You don't think you could be like.

[C]

I think right now, I think she's like, why, what are you worried about? Like, after all this time, now I'm worried.

[A]

Well, you could say you don't have to cut this out if you want to go this route, but, you know, Walt and I are a little concerned. We want to make sure that the three of us always own this business. Like it doesn't pass in anybody else's hands and it's a business concern. So we just have to get this little doctor sign here, honey.

[C]

And she's like, this is also. I don't take over. Tell them, Steve Dave.

[A]

Just sign it, baby, if you love me. She loved me like Bernie did.

[C]

You would sign it? Yeah, I don't think she. She has any delusions about me staying because I'm constantly pointing it out. I'm like, is this a. Is this a new mark on my face? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, sometimes you see guys with like the liver spots and the age spots and that kind of shit. So I'm constantly looking for that kind of stuff.

[A]

They can't laser those.

[B]

You want to, you want to get rid of them? If they pop up, you want. You'll want to get rid of them.

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

They're not, they're not like scars, like cool scars, like, like almost like shark.

[C]

Scars, let's say like Mary Beth and I were walking down the street and I got into a knife fight with someone and saved her.

[A]

Cool scar.

[C]

But I got a scar. That's a cool scar. Age induced liver spot.

[B]

But that shows you that, like, you know, you're, you've. You stood the test of time with life, baby.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

I even got stabbed. Look at me.

[B]

You want to hide all those glorious things that show how long that Brian Johnson has fucking stood the test of time.

[C]

All I'm doing is reminding everyone else how long I've stood the test of time. Like, that's an old guy. Like today, like, you know, kids 20, like, you know, even 30 years old probably looking us and like. Well, they're old. Yeah, but like you're really old when you're like it's 70.

[A]

I think 70 is when the rubber hits the road, right? 75.

[C]

Yeah. It seems, it seems outline.

[A]

That's where I noticed a decline in people I know who hit that age. It was like mid-70s.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Still.

[A]

Okay. But like that's where I started seeing the.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, my back's hurting or this is hurting or that's hurting or yeah, whatever.

[A]

I mean, I don't feel great now.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Like, my shoulder always hurts, my wrist always hurts. My. You know.

[B]

Is that arthritis?

[A]

That is because when on the fire department I had my thumb bent back almost all the way to here and it just tore the out of everything in there. And I had to get a surgery and I didn't get the surgery because if I got the surgery there was a chance that they were going to put me out from the fire department. They were going to have to retire me. And retrospect, I should have done it because I would have been out with 3/4 pay instead of just retiring early like an asshole. But so I didn't get the surgery until after I had already.

[B]

So when does it hurt when it rains? Like that kind of.

[A]

It hurts almost all the time. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean it's, it's. It's a constant ache right there. But there are times where it's like when it, like when it rains and stuff like that, it is like, shit, this hurts. But you know, shoulder. That is arthritis over here.

[C]

Yeah, I got some aches and pains here and there still in the knees, you know, like the knees are never quite what they want.

[A]

Right. Your knees went through a tough, tough run.

[C]

Yeah. And they say, I think if I remember correctly, they're like, yeah, you have to get a new knee put in like every 20 years or so.

[A]

Oh no, you gotta do that again.

[C]

So I think I have to do it again at some point.

[B]

Just get a rascal. Yeah, yeah. Don't.

[C]

I could get into the office at a rest. I'm quickly trying to think of where I go if they accept rascals.

[B]

Yeah, you don't want to go. That's. That's a major operation to recuperate from again.

[C]

Oh, fuck. Yeah, it sucked, dude. That was the most pain I've ever been in my life. Like right after that. Like, I remember like waking up from that and being like, somebody just fucking kill me. It Hurts.

[A]

Hurts so bad, man.

[C]

Yeah. And it's not. And even at that point, like, the painkillers don't do.

[A]

It's just too much.

[C]

It's too much for them. Yeah, it's just like, it's just sitting there aching and like. Or they're not giving you enough. One of the two.

[A]

Oh, I don't like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But would the redo surgery be.

[C]

I think it might be a little easier because they don't have to cut through bones.

[A]

Yeah, right. Like, this should be, like, less.

[C]

I think it's just screwed to the bone. So they would cut you open, unscrew it, pop a new one in on one hand.

[A]

It's amazing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. They can do this, and it's pretty cool.

[B]

Do you think that this is not to slight you or to. This is not.

[C]

So many of your. So many of your statements start with that.

[B]

This is not a.

[A]

Don't take this the right way.

[B]

But when they say the normal person, the wear and tear, they need a new knee.

[A]

I already saw the insult in the middle of this pill.

[B]

You put on the miles on that knee that you need a replacement.

[C]

Well, I'll tell you what. It's not necessarily the mileage as much as the way the carriage. So. Yeah, we just started a couple. Me and some of the guys from the crew have started a weight loss program.

[B]

Who's the crew?

[C]

Tom's in on it. Rupert's in on it. They tried to get him in on it, but he didn't want to do it. I think Victor's in on it.

[B]

You guys are trying to lose. Trying to lose weight as a competition.

[C]

It's a competition, but it's not like, how much weight can you lose as quickly as you can lose it. It's more of, like a sustainable longevity.

[A]

Yeah, it's more something like a fat off.

[C]

Fat off a little bit. So. Yeah. So so far, I lost five and a half.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. I got to get there. I have too much clothes.

[A]

Right.

[C]

That don't fit me. Right. Now that I have to get back into. Right. I'm not going and buying a whole new wardrobe. Just not doing it.

[A]

So how many pounds you have to lose to fit in those clothes?

[C]

Like another 50? No, no.

[A]

£50.

[B]

What were you buying? Fucking extra small clothes, maybe?

[C]

Yeah. No, I was buying shit that fit me.

[B]

No, you did not.

[C]

Remember how I used to dress?

[A]

Yeah, you had a lot more button downs in your. In your old repertoire. Yeah, that's true.

[C]

That's what I'm trying to get into. Because that's the other thing about the five years. We were talking about maybe taking a ride up to Maine again. Like we did, like, after we got married. We were like, ah, fuck it, let's just take a ride. And we went to Maine. We were thinking about doing that again, perhaps. So I'm desperately trying to get into some button downs by that time. Another month and a half or so.

[B]

What's a button down?

[C]

I don't even know, like, what Q's wearing right now. Like a white shirt.

[B]

Oh, you mean just a shirt with buttons?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, can.

[B]

You don't have the ability to wear those yet.

[C]

No, because I got too fat.

[B]

You don't want to buy new button shirts.

[C]

Mary. Buttons are expensive and Marybeth buys them, but she always buys them for like, because she likes the designs from like Sheen or Teemo or whatever. The fucking garbage.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It's garbage and it's. And like, I'll get a 2x and I'm like, this is a small. Like, I know I'm fat, but I'm not that fat, you know, so the. That she gets me. It's like I have to. I have to really diet down to get into it.

[A]

Okay, well, she's trying for you.

[C]

She's trying. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Did you ever think about going to.

[C]

A steam room and just sweating it out? Getting all dehydrated.

[A]

Sauna.

[C]

What's with the towels anyway? Like, they seem intrusive. Steam room? No, I mean, then I would just, what, sweat out water weight.

[B]

That doesn't work.

[C]

Like one of those belt things that they used to eat.

[B]

Like, I Love Lucy.

[C]

I'm jiggling all my fat all over the place. I think the, the answer is to stop eating like, like I do and to maybe exercise a little bit more. Like maybe go walk.

[B]

What about that? What about that magic pill? I don't remember what starts with an okay.

[C]

Yeah, I've considered that. Yeah, because it is. Oh, yeah. And I found out too, Lizzo was lying. Little, little, real little bit of. No.

[A]

I'm just shocked Lizzo's still around.

[C]

Yeah, Lizzo's still alive and she lost a bunch of weight. I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to be like, oh, wow, she's thin. But she at first said that she had no help. She just did it naturally. It wasn't Ozempic. But then it turned out, yeah, it was Ozempic. And why do these people lie?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

It's just.

[B]

It's just like a Little bit of stigma, I think.

[A]

You know, I, I mean, so many people I know are on it and, and it works. It works.

[B]

How do you get it? Is it hard to get.

[A]

No.

[C]

To go to the doctor or actually you can even get it online now.

[A]

I think they said there's a pill form coming.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Too. You don't even have to do the shot.

[B]

But would a doctor prescribe it?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No matter what. Even if he's like, you don't need to lose weight and you.

[A]

Oh well, why would you take it if you don't need to lose weight?

[B]

Because there's some people who are like, you know, adamant that they're overweight and they're really not though.

[A]

Oh, I'm, I don't know about that. Yeah. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah. I wonder, Yeah, I wonder how hard it is to get that prescription though.

[C]

Yeah. Because of the right doctor or the wrong doctor.

[A]

Because if they're like, you gotta lose 10 pounds, you're not gonna listen to anybody for that. Right.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like a doctor shouldn't be like giving out this pill. He's like, no, get on a treadmill in a week. You'll be good. Sure.

[C]

Don't get off the treadmill, just keep going.

[B]

No, you only gotta lose like 10 pound or 5 pounds. Get on a treadmill.

[A]

Three pounds of.

[B]

Let's not go the route of this drug right now. That's what I would hope a doctor would say before then. Or just immediately writing out a prescription for it because you got a new role. You want to fucking fit into your spandex superhero costume and you want to.

[A]

Go Superman dressed as Superman. Yeah, I guess. But like, I don't know, it's a weird thing because it would be better if they just changed their lifestyle to lose those 10 pounds. Right. Is obviously the healthier thing. But some people, like my buddy I've. I mean, I don't want to name names, but he was like, he lost like £70 on it and he looks.

[B]

It'S like, did he need to lose 70?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now what happens if he gets off of it?

[A]

Well, I have another friend that lost 50 pounds, got off it and he put it all right back on.

[C]

That's the problem.

[B]

And is it too new though? Do we, do we have an idea of the knock on effects and the ramifications of this long term or is it still too new?

[A]

From what I understand is because it's an existing drug that was for something else. It was for diabetes yeah, that, that it all. Every. I don't know. Look, I don't know. So don't, you know, listen to me on this. But like they, what I keep seeing is that the advantages keep coming up. Like they're, they're. It's. It actually regulates your mental health a little bit better. Like it's a weird. Like they keep finding all these benefits to it. Yeah, so.

[B]

So it could be the wonder drug, huh?

[A]

Could be.

[B]

Does it put on muscle too?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Or that's steroids, right?

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I'm all natural, baby.

[B]

Oh, I, I wasn't.

[A]

Or steroids. I'm right in the middle.

[C]

Did you see that Liver King guy? It was a couple weeks back. The Liver King who like he espoused. He was like, he looks like, you know, the guy on the. The January 6th with the. The wolf head on him and. Yeah, kind of reminds me of that guy. But he's like. He looks like Conan the Barbarian. Conan, yes. Yeah, not Conan O'. Brien. Totally ripped, like shredded like 1% body fat. And he said he did it all due to this, this raw liver diet that he was eating and raw meat and vegetables and all this other. Then it turned out he got busted. He was spending $10,000 a month on steroids. Oh my God. 10,000amonth to do that? To be deliver king. But it's like. Isn't it just like when you do like that, it's like it's just a matter of time before you get found out.

[A]

Or die.

[C]

Or die from it. Yeah, I don't know.

[B]

I got a game.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I said, remember I made the decree. One game a month. And then you had the great idea. Well, not one new game. Revision those games.

[A]

Yes, great idea.

[B]

And Tom stepped up and he came up with some Flanny's Choice questions.

[A]

Oh, whoa. It's been a while.

[B]

It's been that long?

[A]

Flanny's Choice?

[B]

It hasn't been that long, but we've kind of played it recently. But I have some scenarios to see.

[C]

Who.

[B]

You knows me better. We only have nine, so it'll be real quick. I'm offered a walk on roll for no compensation in the new American Godzilla film. But my character is a janitor who slips on Kaiju poop and dies screaming. The scene goes viral forever and for the rest of my life, people yell when they see me. Hey, look, it's God. Shitta. Do I take the part or turn it down?

[A]

But you don't know that going into.

[C]

The part how much of this do you know?

[B]

Well, the studio is like, we gotta. We're gonna really push this. We're God.

[A]

We called sag. We got you alive again. You know, we want you to be God. Shita.

[C]

I think that while Walt has certain interests that are like, not. I'll go beyond interest. I'll say passions.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Godzilla being one of them. So to be like, wow, I could have a walk on roll. So not much is expected of me. You know, I'm just gonna be in the background or whatever. I think he would say yes to that. But being showcased a featured extra.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A man of his stature.

[A]

Where is it filming?

[B]

He's filming in Jersey.

[C]

I say over at the Netflix studio.

[B]

That is. That was. That information was not in the scenario.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So, yeah, the studio says that they are actually going to use their social media to try to push this scene and make it go viral. And it works. And I do become God Shitta.

[C]

Now, I've also heard stories about Walt going out with his family. He doesn't want to be acknowledged as Walt Flanagan.

[A]

I think he fucked himself because I don't see him not being known as God Shitta from now on, no matter what.

[C]

A lot. Yeah. So I think him out with his family, his new grandson, and so he's like, hey, God.

[A]

Got someone. You stepped in it. I don't think you do it.

[C]

Yeah, I would say no, too.

[B]

Both say no.

[C]

Yeah, we both say, I don't think.

[A]

The answer is yes.

[B]

All right, there's the answer to number one.

[A]

Number one, I. The card. I declined the part. We got it.

[C]

All right, all right.

[B]

Now, you guys made good points, but the real reason was there was two clues in that one. I said it was the new American Godzilla, and for no compensation.

[C]

I caught both those things, but I still thought, like, so American is no.

[B]

Good, you know, Like, I think the American version of Godzilla is. Is for me. It's a joke. It's a cartoon. They've kind of lost their way. After the first one with Bryan Cranston, which I adored, they've really lost the script there and have really gone in a direction that doesn't appeal to me. And then you also say, you're not going to get paid for it.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And I've been on sets before. It's brutal. At least I was like, well, at least I'm getting paid for this. I'm not even gonna get that. And then, like, when I'm out in public, people are gonna be yelling at.

[A]

Is it Shitzilla or God?

[C]

What Was it again?

[B]

God. Shit up.

[A]

Shatzilla does roll up the tongue a little easier.

[B]

Well, it could be either or. You know, it's going to be both. So. Yeah, I turn it down. So you guys both got that right.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right, let's pull over down here. All right, number two.

[A]

I got that one right, too. Okay, come on, now.

[B]

You're not playing for anybody. Just for shits and giggles.

[A]

Just do it right.

[B]

I don't know if you guys have heard this news, but with the recent news that Marvel has pulled the plug on publishing any more Marvel masterworks volumes. Yeah. I don't know if you've heard this, but my beloved, the only thing that brings me joy in comics anymore, Marvel has said it's gone the way the dodo bird. They're not publishing them anymore. They. I guess they're not profitable.

[A]

Not even digitally.

[B]

They just want it digitally.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I mean, I can get them illegally digitally.

[A]

True.

[B]

But, you know, I want them on my bookshelf.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I had all the volumes, and it was just something. Something that I could look at and be like, that's fucking awesome. Yeah, I got them all, and I'm going to keep buying them. But Marvel has said no. But a mysterious benefactor contacts you and offers to fund all future volumes, thus ensuring the line continues. But only if I agree to never speak to Sunday Jeff again, even on a podcast, do I take the deal.

[A]

I think it's a no.

[C]

My first instinct is no. I mean, how do you. How do you turn your back on a friend of decades to be like, some good comics are gonna come out.

[A]

Yeah. That I've all read before.

[B]

But those comics were there for me before Sunday Jeff was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They gave me my companionship and my. You know, the. They were there for me long before I ever knew a Sunday Jeff.

[A]

I don't think this podcast becomes what it became without Sunday Jeff.

[B]

You guys can still talk to him.

[A]

We can just sit there while we. I'm not gonna rip on him like you do. You know what I mean? People need that.

[C]

Yeah. I think that you said something key there, which is like, you have them all, and then you would get all the rest, but you have them all now. So I think that's. I think that's. I don't.

[B]

But there are still many volumes that I was hoping to see come to fruition. You know, like, there's some that I was hanging just waiting for the months to come out to. For the announcement, and now it's never going to come out. And it is a Massive disappointment for me personally. I wrote an email to Marvel.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Who?

[B]

There was an online. On this masterworks forum where you could contact some bigwigs at Marvel. They were. They were saying, we should do this. We should let our voices be heard. And sheepishly. Or not sheepishly. What's the word? Almost like, you know, I was like, I can't believe I'm gonna do this. But I dropped that. I was on Comic Book man and how much I adored the line and yada yada. Yeah. I still haven't heard back. Crickets. Marvel didn't respond.

[A]

Well, why don't you give the email out to our audience right now and see if anybody wants to take up the cause.

[B]

I don't know it right off the bat, I'm not prepared, but I was thinking about maybe even doing like a Burrow trending. Remember how we made Burrow trend after we fucked Burrow with the commercial we did and Burrow rocks, We made a trend on Twitter. But I was thinking maybe I rallied ants to do a Marvel Save the Masterworks hashtag.

[A]

Why not try it?

[B]

But I just think that Marvel's like, yeah, hashtags don't fucking pay the bills.

[C]

Are these hashtags gonna.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it going to.

[C]

Is this money being translated?

[B]

Is it going to translate into sold volumes? And I can't make that promise, though. I know.

[A]

It's not cheap, right?

[B]

No. They retail between 75, 100 bucks a volume.

[A]

And how many. How many issues are in each volume?

[B]

10 to 12.

[A]

It's a lot.

[B]

It's a lot.

[A]

It's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of money.

[B]

It is. But I funded it all by selling my. My comic book collection.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I went and sold all the key issues and then used that money to buy the masterworks that were ungodly prices because they were out of print and I didn't buy them when they first came out. So now I'm like, fucking fuck.

[A]

But I still.

[B]

I could fix this problem right now.

[C]

Turning your back on Sunday.

[A]

I don't think you do that. No, you don't. You're not the type of guy to turn your back on a friend that's not you.

[B]

It's not like I'm turning my back on him.

[A]

It is literally, you're turning your back.

[C]

So not talk to him.

[B]

But like, I talk to him. Maybe between. I have a go between. Maybe I said, hey, get this message to Sunday Jeff for me. I miss you.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But I'm still not talking to you because we're all finite volume 4 is coming out next week.

[A]

I'm writing this down all time. You want me to say bitch at the end? Nah.

[B]

No, you say no, Brian.

[C]

I'm going with no, too. Like, if it were maybe a different. Like maybe a jimmy, you know, something expendable. Yeah. Then I would say yes, but someday. Jeff has been there for thick and thin.

[B]

I just want to know who the mysterious benefactor is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I have the envelope here. Number two, I decline the deal.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Another round?

[B]

Yeah. Can't abandon Sunday Jeff and just drop him like a bad fucking. What's a bad habit? Bad habit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Those are too easy, right? This one. Next one gets a little bit more difficult to decipher or figure out. A fan writes to TSD offering to donate 10 years worth of rent in a window storefront on the first floor of the airport Plaza, but only if my wife gets a tattoo of Gim's face on her lower back. Do I pass on this offer or do I agree?

[A]

I mean, I'm just gonna go ahead and say pass.

[C]

I.

[A]

There's not enough blue chew in the world to overcome that fucking issue.

[C]

The mere suggestion to your wife, which is like, look.

[B]

A full decade.

[A]

Yeah, we can make money. Dude, you don't have to do that.

[C]

Get him face. Get out of here, Bug gonna say no? I would have to say no.

[B]

No, huh? You know, though, rent is a big expense, downstairs especially.

[C]

You're talking probably the size we would need probably four to $5,000 a month.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I'm okay if you want to do it. I just don't think that you should do it. I don't think so.

[C]

Yeah, I think the deal's gonna.

[B]

Yeah, it's probably 50. It's probably. What's 50 times 10? 505. It's a half a million dollars in free rent.

[A]

That's a lot of money. I mean, I guess if you put it like that. Would you. Would you. I guess if the question becomes, would you take half a million dollars for your wife to get a tattoo? Get him on a lower back. That's a different question. I still think the answer is no.

[C]

Is this benefactor around? Because Harry Bet's about to get a tattoo.

[B]

Both say nay.

[C]

I'm gonna say no. There's no possible way.

[A]

All right, number three. I pass on the deal. We are knocking them out of the park today. Yeah.

[B]

Why the don't you guys as gals have to get a tattoo and get them on the back? Why do I gotta be the one, the only one that has to deal with that. I was like that. Why am I the only one that's got to pay the fucking horrific price?

[A]

Horrific price. It's like a Bernie Wrightson super detailed tattoo as well.

[B]

This is how you stanking too. No word balloon. Not too good.

[A]

Not too good.

[C]

Pretty bad, actually.

[A]

Made a bad choice.

[B]

Wow. You guys are three for three. A time traveler shows up and offers me a deal to erase my worst memory. But the side effect is I forget my wedding day. Do I take the deal?

[A]

I think, wow, that is a good one. Because how much do you remember your wedding day anyway?

[B]

Do you want to hear about it?

[C]

I do.

[A]

I do.

[B]

It is hard to remember large portions of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It is fragmented memories at best from 1994. Super stressful for my wife. You know, she's not one to want.

[A]

To be center of attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stuff. Right.

[B]

And she's very nervous, very worried that something's going to go wrong in that kind of. In that being around that kind of person, that kind of. Then it. You kind of get a little bit of that vibe too, or you start to worry too, like, oh, what's going to go wrong? And I don't have. I can't remember gigantic portions of the day. But I. But I'll tell you this. I don't think I've ever revealed this. I didn't consummate the fucking marriage on the night we got married.

[A]

Just too tired.

[B]

She was just too zonked out. She was like. She had like a headache, she said, a migraine. Because we had our house at that point after the wedding and the reception was over, we came to our house and we had a flight the next morning to Disney. We had to be up early and get to the airport. And she just went to sleep. She just was like. She put a rag on her head and went to sleep. And I just went. And I, too, went to sleep and we were just zonked.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, that doesn't mean, though, that the mouse still isn't getting my seed out of the fucking. Out of the sheets to this day on the honeymoon. Because I made up for that night.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Mickey paid a horrible price for all the Polynesian. Yeah. But, yeah, that night. Yeah, we didn't do anything that night.

[A]

I don't think I knew you went to Disney World for your honeymoon.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I would think that's the sort of thing you would make fun of other people for doing.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I would.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In the right mood.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Go after him.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I had never been to Disney World before. That she had been as a kid. But I don't know how we came upon that, but we went to Florida. We went to Disney, and it was awesome. We probably stayed two days too long.

[A]

Yeah. How many days did you stay.

[B]

I think we were there for.

[C]

Did you say, like, 10 days? Yeah.

[A]

I think it was too many days back then. There were only, like, two parks, too, right?

[B]

I mean, there was times that, like, I went to the park and she just stayed in the room because it was too hot, and I was doing things for, like, the fourth or fifth time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, we had. We were there for way too long.

[A]

It sounds kind of awesome to me. I love Disney, you know, man, it was fun. I love it. It sounds like a blast.

[B]

It was fun.

[A]

But 10 days old.

[B]

10 days is a long time. And like you said, there wasn't as many parks back then, but, yeah, that was. That's. And I remember people being there. I remember the wedding day. I remember the reception, of course, with the horrible fucking toast with that Brian Johnson. Want to do a little retell of Steve Dave? Tell. Remind q the toast.

[C]

Yeah, it was. Well, I wasn't supposed to give this a bonus. In all fairness.

[B]

Tell him, Steve Dave.

[C]

In all fairness to me, I wasn't supposed to. Kevin was supposed to give the speech, and, you know, I would give. I was just supposed to be there. But then it was like, do you want to say something? So I was like, I should have said no. Yeah, I should have said no. But then I said yes and brought up Walt and his wife. Media in Keensburg, which is.

[B]

Which is kind of. It had a bad rep back then as. As a town for where you could score illicit drugs on the. On the cheap.

[A]

Right. Easy.

[C]

Yeah. And I said.

[A]

And I said, but it was true.

[B]

It was true.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It was true. Yeah. And I said that it was.

[A]

I got a feeling that's not the problem. Opening with that.

[C]

Yeah, the problem was saying that Debbie helped wean Walt off of methadone. I don't know why I said it.

[B]

And I didn' even know what methadone was back then. I had no. I. I just heard the word. Something's eme. And I remember, like, people's faces hitting the floor and looking over at me. I didn't know what it meant. I had no clue. I looked at my wife's face, and her face is aghast.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I don't even know if she knew what it meant, but she knew it wasn't good. Yeah, she was.

[A]

Fears came true.

[B]

That's why she had to migraine. That's why I didn't get no pussy that night.

[C]

All comes back to me.

[A]

Oh, that is great.

[B]

Yeah. But she was very, very unhappy with that toast. And I've heard about it for years. But my worst memory, though, erased.

[A]

But we don't know what your worst memory is.

[B]

Right. I was racking my brain for it.

[A]

Too, because there's some like, look, if, like you were obviously like molested by your uncle, something that's an easy, like, yeah, I'll take this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But like, if it's just like a normal life, bad shit happens.

[B]

Yeah. I was kind of thinking about what would the memory be? And I don't know. So I guess it would just be subconsciously it would be. It would be something that this time traveler would somehow know what it is without even me realizing what it was.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say no, because, I mean, you guys remember Star Trek? Of course, for Undiscovered Country. It's one of your favorite movies where Shatner where. Where this godlike creature offices take away their pain. And Shatner's like, I want my pain. I need my pain. I always thought that was a great line in a kind of crappy movie. I actually kind of liked the movie. I don't know about that movie. It was. It was fun. And I do think that that shit is. Is formative. I don't think you would want to give up your memories of your wedding day. I've known you a long time now. I'm. You know. I know, I know you had some issues with your dad early on, but I don't think anything that you'd be.

[B]

Like, wow, I know. I never even. It may be that, right?

[A]

Yeah. But I don't think your relationship with your mom is so good as a result of it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know that you want to. I think you pass.

[B]

I pass?

[C]

Yeah. I was going to say the same. Pass. Yeah, I think you're going to pass because, like, I mean, at least you've never brought up something that even hinted at, like something so horrible that you would. Because, I mean, your wedding day, all you have are like a couple pictures probably, and some fragmented memories. It's like, you know, methadone. Yeah. You don't want to lose that, do you?

[A]

All right, question four. I declined the deal.

[C]

All right.

[A]

We're fucking knocking him out of the park.

[B]

I think it all boils down to being lucky that I don't have one super horrific memory.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I'm lucky to have be able to say that. I know there's a lot of people who can't say that.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But, yeah, I feel like I can honestly be, like. I don't know what it would be. What did I. That the Marvel Masterworks stop printing? I mean, you know, I mean, I don't know what. I don't even know what memory would be eradicated from my memory bank.

[A]

Yeah. It's hard, man. You get to a certain age, and it's just all part of who you are and, like. Yeah. Get over these things.

[B]

That was a good one from Tom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think we're still all tied.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nobody has stepped out on their own. All right. My roof collapses, but my neighbor has a brother who owns a roofing company, and he offers to fix it for free, but only if I agree to have a beer with him every day and an hour of bro time.

[A]

For how long is this in perpetuity?

[B]

As long as he's my neighbor, I guess. As long as he lives next door to me, I gotta have a beer with him every day, and I gotta spend an hour of bro time.

[A]

Seven hours a week.

[B]

No, no. An hour. Bro time. I think a week. It's a beer every day and an hour of bro time a week.

[C]

I see.

[B]

Yeah. So over the course of. That's only 10 minutes a day, though.

[A]

Oh, I see. It's not roof. What do you got? You don't have, like, slate or anything like that on there.

[C]

You know, it's got a regular old roof.

[A]

Regular roof.

[B]

Slate.

[C]

Some of us have slate roofs. Not. Not me and you.

[A]

Oh, slate roofs, man. How society did it for thousands of years.

[B]

There's a fucking bedrock.

[A]

It's slate.

[B]

I know, but do you fucking live next door to the Rubbles?

[A]

I don't live near where they make my slate, Walter. They make that somewhere else, like Indiana.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

And then they bring it to me or someone brings it to me. So regular roof is around, what, 25 grand?

[B]

Oh, I think. I bet you it's 25 to.

[C]

I think Tom paid 30. 30.

[A]

30. Okay. So let's even. Let's even say 50.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I believe that you would pay 50 grand to not have to have a beer a day and spend 10 minutes talking to your neighbor. So I'm gonna say no.

[B]

That kind of is a backhanded slight at me that you think I don't want to deal with my neighbors.

[A]

You don't want to deal with your neighbors.

[B]

You're saying that I am such a douchebag that I'm like, I can't fucking. Who does he think he is that he need that he. I'm gonna spend 10 minutes with him a day.

[A]

You are extrapolating a lot. I, I, I just think I wouldn't want to do it like a daily obligation to drink. I love my neighbors.

[B]

You love beer, too.

[A]

I know. I don't want to go out once a day.

[B]

Like, you look at that roof. You're like, free roof.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it is slate. No, I, I think I, I don't think so. I don't think any. It sounds like such a. Who is this madman that's demanding this of me?

[C]

And, like, that's my question is, like, this guy, like, why do you want to hang out with me so bad every day?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But come on. I'm irresistible.

[A]

Why is your brother doing it for free? What's his deal?

[C]

I also like Walt does it also financially. He does not like to be beholden to people. I tried to pay for their lunch at Red Robin one time, him and his wife.

[B]

Wife.

[C]

You would think I was trying to pay off their, their, their mortgage.

[A]

Wouldn't have it.

[C]

They wouldn't have it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I think, yeah, like something that big and then beholden to him for something that much.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Seemingly forever.

[A]

This is what house insurance is for.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But I have to steer us away from the right answer. I have.

[C]

He always does.

[B]

I have been what some would call God's gift to a neighbor.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I have been of the utmost assistance to my neighbor when they needed me the most.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Not when I was just bothering them for like, hey, sure is hot out. Right? Let's talk for 15 minutes about nothing. No. It's like, oh, your dog got out. I'm on it.

[A]

Yeah, great neighbor.

[B]

I'll find it. I'm here. I'm not going to give up until we find the dog. And then I don't even need to talk to you after we find it for about a year.

[A]

That's great. Right?

[B]

I'm saying God's gift to the neighborhood. That's me.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

So that's why everybody wants to fucking hang out with us.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

Drink a beer a minute.

[A]

The question is not whether I think, do people want to hang out with dog once. I think people do want to hang out with you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't think you want to hang out with them. And that's the important difference.

[B]

All right. So you're saying nay, and you're both saying nay. I'm turn down. Turn down the free roof.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Question five.

[A]

Question five, answer is, holy shit.

[C]

Get out of here. I become his bro.

[B]

I become his bro.

[C]

Why?

[B]

That's a fucking expensive endeavor. And, like, can you imagine me saying to him, no.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, to his face, how horrible is that? Like, how bad does that guy feel? And I'm like, no, keep your free roof. I don't want to hang out with you even for 10 minutes a day. Then I got to live next to the guy. And it's so awkward when I see him every day and I'm like, like, oh, hi. Hi, James, or whatever the your name is. I can't remember.

[C]

You didn't want to dedicate part of your life to me, remember? Yeah.

[A]

It would be so awkward if he moves away. Do you still have to do it on Zoom every day?

[B]

No. If he moves or I move. Yeah. The deal is done. I fulfilled my obligations. Yeah. I think my wife would be furious if I decline that.

[A]

What did you for 20 years?

[B]

10 minutes a day. I can't give 10 minutes a day to a guy who went out of his way to help me put a roof on my.

[A]

On, on. In blizzards. In every day, no matter what.

[B]

Yeah. I walk over, I'm like, hey, man, let's crack a beer. What have you been up to today?

[A]

What have you got? Covid.

[B]

What if I got Covid? I open up the window and we talk through between two windows, like, between the space between the houses, you know, like, yeah, sure. Wish I wasn't sick. I could come over.

[A]

I'll be better tomorrow. I'm shocked. I'm blown away. I, I, I, I believe you, because I, I don't believe you would lie.

[B]

But I, I would definitely go away. I feel like it would be incredibly. I couldn't say no because of how rude it would look if I could.

[C]

But I would be like, why do you want. That's weird. Why do you want to spend that much time with me every single day?

[B]

He likes me.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, you like lots of people, but it's like you don't want to spend time.

[B]

And he's lonely too.

[C]

Oh, he is?

[B]

Yeah. He doesn't have a wife.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, man.

[C]

Now it makes more sense.

[A]

Why don't you go over there anyway, then? Like, why do you need the room?

[C]

I thought you were super neighbor.

[A]

Yeah. Check in on the guy. You can give him, Give him five minutes a day for free.

[B]

Well, I mean, look, when he ponies up the money to put the pay for a new roof, then we'll talk until then, what has he done for me?

[A]

You pay me.

[B]

So you both get no points on that.

[A]

That is shocking.

[B]

All right. Netflix approaches the Comic Book Men to make a new docu series detailing the breakup of the show and catching up with the guys years later. But the producers insist on making Mike the breakout star and minimizing my screen. Do I sign on?

[A]

You're gonna do that to God. Shitta.

[C]

What Mental Asylum is sponsoring this?

[A]

The same guy with the Marvel mask. Are you all getting paid the same?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Less work, same pay.

[C]

You don't care about screen time.

[A]

Sounds like a dream, actually. You know, and I'm sure. I'm sure one day you and Mike are going to patch things up.

[B]

I am sure. You and that guy, you're gonna shit on the grave. I'm sure you guys are gonna be sharing a beer one day. Arm, you know, arm around each other, fucking kissing each other on the cheek.

[A]

I don't know. You know.

[C]

Fuck.

[A]

Wow, this is a tough one. What do you think?

[C]

I think he wouldn't want to be involved to begin with. Like, if we're like, hey, we're going to catch up with the Comic Book Men and stuff. Like, if Nichelle was. It was involved, then probably. I think that would be. Then he probably would be. But let's assume that he agreed to. Yeah, I think he would. I think he would. Because it means less work. He doesn't really care about screen time. If they want to make Micah star, so be it. As long as he's getting paid.

[A]

I think of the content for this show.

[C]

Yeah, It'll be unending.

[A]

I think he does it.

[C]

Yeah, I think he does it, too.

[A]

I think he does it. 6. I signed on the dotted line.

[C]

All right.

[A]

All right, we're back.

[B]

You guys called, and then it's like, I got. I get to do way less work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I get paid the same amount of money. Yeah, go for it. Go for that. With that show that you're gonna. Your star maker.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Hitch your wagon to that star.

[A]

I want to see it so bad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I really do want to see it.

[B]

Wow. It's still tied. All right. I'm offered two lifetime season tickets to the Devils, but the second seat has to be permanently given to one of my three work sons. Do you know my work sons? The three of them? Him.

[A]

It's gonna be Tom. Yes, it's gonna be Rub.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Oh, well, get him. Yes, Tom, get him.

[B]

And Jimmy the hair guy.

[A]

Jimmy the hair guy?

[B]

Yeah, he played the role of. We did a segment called My Three sons.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've kind of taken them under my wings. Rub's a married man with a kid. He doesn't need any. He doesn't need any. Tom is. Tom is married, but Tom has, Tom has a lot of issues he's got to work out. I'm trying to make him grow some nuts that he, that he got cut off. It's a long process. You know, we got to work at it. You know, I'm always like, you can do it. You can say no to your wife.

[A]

But what you have, you have to.

[B]

Do everything she says.

[C]

She's like, what did he say?

[A]

Tom's driving right now. Lowering the volume in the. What hope is there for Jimmy the hair guy? What are you going to do with that for him?

[B]

I've tried to help him with his incredibly irresponsible spending and his health. Tried to tell him that, you know, he's on the road to ruin with totally ignoring his doctor's wow. Advice on stopping the diabetes from advancing and, you know, trying to. Trying to help them out when I can, you know, without being too heavy handed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Or I could become a pain in the ass. But.

[A]

How often do you talk to Jimmy the hair guy?

[B]

I'd say once every other day via text.

[A]

Via text. What is the average exchange like?

[B]

I love that, bro.

[A]

He throws the word love around a lot.

[B]

I don't know what his outdoor shit is. That shit could be. Have you watched a show or a podcast that we did or whatever song that I mentioned? I love that shit too, bro. He's super easy to talk to because it's always upbeat and like, I love this.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You know, it's like, it's never like, hey, I got this problem. What do I do? It's so. It's never like where it's just too, you know, it's too heavy.

[C]

He's.

[B]

He's a charming, easy lifting with him.

[C]

Right? Right.

[B]

Tom, he's a mess.

[A]

I didn't realize that. I didn't.

[C]

I like Tom. Seems like he has it put together. Not the case.

[A]

Not the case at all. Okay, so those are the three we're talking about. Tom, Jimmy, get him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, what's the. What was the.

[B]

Oh, so, yeah, I have two lifetime season tickets to the Devils. I can only choose one of my work sons. Which son do I choose? Just two of them are going to be butt hurt and think that they are lesser.

[A]

I. I think Tom gets the nod. Do you need any more time to get him? Do you need a second more with that guy? I don't think so. And Jimmy, I've never heard him. I know he loves everything, but I've never heard him really talk about the Devils at all.

[B]

Fuck, I love the Devils, bro.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

But Tom's not a sports guy either.

[B]

Yes, he is.

[C]

Is he?

[B]

Yeah, he likes the Eagles.

[C]

That's right. He's a bandwagon guy. Right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You know, you.

[A]

You've pointed out that Tom's big issue is his wife. You've said that. You've publicly said that a couple times this year.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So that would get him as well. But that kept you some one on one manly bonding time.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

You're trying to build up that specific issue with a sports game.

[B]

Yeah. We don't need dames.

[A]

Don't need no broads around here. Yeah. Unless they're the. What do they call the devil dancers that they have.

[B]

They're gone.

[A]

They're gone. Shame.

[B]

Who are you going with? Brian. While he thinks.

[A]

I think Tom. I think Tom.

[C]

I'm gonna mix it up, make this interesting. I think it's get him. I. I agree.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I agree that he spends way, way, way too much time with him. But he's always going to be there like Tom. Tom and is gonna. They both live far away. So Tom is like Walt said, maybe he's not going to be able to get to have. His wife's gonna give him some shit. Jimmy, it just. It would just be too annoying because he would love everything.

[A]

Well, let me ask a question then.

[C]

Go ahead.

[A]

If Tom can't make the game, you still go, but the seat's empty.

[B]

I'm not gonna answer that.

[C]

You think it's Tom, huh?

[A]

I do. Because I think the distance actually adds a little bit, a little buffer.

[C]

I know that he has gone several times to games with gifts. Get them too. Like games that like. Like a game where it was freezing out. Where they almost lost their extremities.

[B]

Yeah. Lost.

[C]

Almost lost.

[A]

A classic.

[B]

Classic.

[C]

Yeah. I'm gonna say get them. It'll just make it interesting.

[A]

Here we go. Okay. Seven. Tom.

[C]

Huh?

[A]

Pulling in. Yes.

[B]

And there's a reason.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because a season tickets to the Devils means that's 42 games or 44 games. I think it's 42 games for home games. Games. Out of those 42 games, Tom's wife probably lets him go five times. And then I could the other 30 sometimes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I could bring somebody else and I could bring Jimmy or get him. Everybody's happy. No one feels slighted. His. His wife ain't Letting him out of the house.

[A]

Right.

[B]

42 nights.

[A]

No way out of the year. Keep an eye on him.

[C]

The only person I see doing that is Ming.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He's not one of my work sons. No, no, that definitely.

[C]

All right, so I'm down one.

[A]

You're down one.

[B]

Hey, you're up. Okay. Only got.

[C]

That's what happens when I try to.

[A]

Make it interesting, I guess. Interesting.

[B]

Tom Brady. Last two. Tom Brady has agreed to come on TSD for episode 700. The catch is he wants me to call him daddy every time I speak to him. Will Tom.

[A]

He wants you to or wants you to stop calling him daddy? That's an important distinct.

[B]

He wants me to refer to him as daddy every time I address him on the podcast.

[A]

Okay. Just for one episode.

[B]

Yeah. Will the goat be on episode 700?

[A]

I think.

[C]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Because it's. It's almost like it's funny.

[A]

Yeah. It's even better that. That's just so weird that that's his. Yeah.

[C]

That's his thing, because so many people would talk about it, too.

[A]

Yeah. And you're just like, but where's Tom Brady? Not doing it? Like, what's the story? I didn't call Tom Brady daddy every time.

[C]

Yeah. At his insistence.

[A]

Yeah, I think you do it. I would do it.

[C]

Yeah, I think you do it.

[B]

But you know what he does to his son, though? He kisses him on the mouth.

[C]

Well, I didn't think it was just like you were his real son. Like, I thought it was just like, you know, joking around like, hey, daddy, you know, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what if he goes in for the kiss for you? Yeah.

[A]

You got to do, bro, that's your daddy.

[C]

Episode 700.

[B]

I mean, he's. He's on camera kissing, you know, kissing his son on the lips. And then all of a sudden, if I'm calling him daddy, then. And the lines are blurred, and all of a sudden, we're making out.

[A]

I mean, it sounds like a great episode. Tell him Steve gave to me. I can't wait.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, I think you do it.

[A]

Okay. Hey, Tom Brady is on episode 700.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Daddy's home, everybody. Daddy's home. So I bet you could only tie Brian.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now this next one. This is where I'm a little worried about tomorrow. This last scenario is really out of left field and really strange, but I wake up in an alternate universe where TSD never existed. I'm happily married to Ming and running a candle shop, worry free. I have one chance to come back to My reality. But to do it, we both have to kill the alternate reality versions of both our families to do it.

[A]

It.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

What do I do?

[A]

Wait, so me and Ming have to kill who? You don't have alternate. Well, like, you don't have a family. You're married to Ming.

[B]

Well, what about. What. What is my wife and his wife. What are they up to right now?

[A]

Oh, you have to track them down.

[B]

Track them down and kill them.

[A]

So just wives because your children. Yeah. They wouldn't exist, but that's to get back to your wife. In a way.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm killing the alternate version of her to get back to the version that I remember. Only I remember. Ming doesn't remember it. I'm trying to convince him of it.

[A]

Oh, because Debbie's gotta die too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you're not gonna make that. But you're happy.

[B]

Can I really be happy married to Ming Chen?

[A]

You said you were happy.

[B]

Is anybody ever happy married to Ming Chen?

[A]

I see no evidence of it.

[C]

We know at least one person who isn't.

[A]

Oh, this is a good one.

[B]

It's really dark, and I'm like, what is going on in Tom's mind?

[C]

So you wake up in an alternate reality where there was never any. Tell him, Steve. Dave, you're married to Ming.

[B]

And I remember my reality, but I'm only one who does. And I'm told that if we kill these two people in this timeline, we'll both be shot back to our.

[A]

Our.

[B]

Our reality and everything go back to normal.

[A]

Do you have. You also have all the memories of that life, too, so you have both branches in your head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you remember.

[B]

Yeah. Then I need to get that. That time travel to remove my worst memory is being married to me.

[A]

Making them in the Polynesian.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's crazy, man. Holy. That's rough.

[C]

Wedding night.

[B]

I got headache.

[A]

Oh, man.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

What would you do in this situation?

[C]

I'd hunt him down and kill him.

[A]

Yeah, I think I would.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, I'd have to. I don't want to be married to Ming.

[B]

But you're happy, though? It said.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You're making candles. You got a prenup. Everything's great. Everything's great.

[C]

Don't even have to worry about the postnup.

[A]

I don't know. I don't think you could do it. I don't think you could kill a version of Debbie. I just don't think you could.

[B]

Could I maybe hire somebody else to do it?

[A]

Is she happy in this other life? Like when you.

[B]

I don't know any of the details. I have to track her down, find out the details.

[A]

And she's super happy. She's having a great life.

[B]

Yeah. That's rough, right?

[C]

It would be so weird too. He's just like, I gotta kill you. Yeah. No, you know what? Thinking back, I don't think he would do it.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you go, you pull up to like, Debbie's new, new house, a new husband, new family. They're all happy.

[C]

Kill in front of all of them.

[B]

Not good, though. What if she's happier than with this new guy?

[A]

Than me? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah. Then I'd be like, it's a lot easier all of a sudden.

[A]

No. Because you love her. You want her to be happy. Her most happy.

[B]

Way happier than I remember her being.

[A]

So are you. You're making candles with mango. You're doing great.

[B]

That is not a happy existence.

[A]

You're the one who used the word happy.

[B]

No, Tom, dude, it.

[A]

Oh, okay. Fair enough. I don't think so. I, I, I, I think when faced with the reality of killing a doppelganger of your wife, I don't think.

[C]

And like, she doesn't know you, so she's scared. Yeah.

[A]

Really terrified. You know she's getting murdered by a stranger, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think Ming would be able to kill anybody. I, I think you're, Yeah.

[C]

I think that might be your reality.

[A]

It's candlesticks for you from now on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Saying I'm just going to be fucking and just. The only candlestick is Ming's candlestick for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Jumping over it. Jumping on it.

[B]

Jumping on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's tough. I don't wish that on you, but I don't think you're gonna murder your way out of that situation.

[B]

You both agree?

[C]

I agree. Yeah. You don't seem like you got the killer instinct.

[A]

I can't wait to see even in this situation. Fucking genius. He wrote, I let Ming go first and then find a new hub.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All of a sudden I'm, I'm single, ready to mingle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm out there getting out, getting my knees bent back behind my ears or trying all letting the 20 year.

[A]

Olds go at it at me.

[B]

And I get to pick a new husband.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The best possible answer.

[A]

It really is. It's like your problem isn't that you were in another universe. Gay. There was a problem. It was Ming. It's funny that you allow Debbie to get killed in the. You do nothing to stop it.

[B]

Wait a minute. Something just went out.

[C]

Yeah, just like go ahead.

[A]

One, two. One, two.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let it happen.

[B]

I let that. I had to think about that one for a while. I was like, how do I. How do I address this if this was reality? It's like if I let him do it first. First once he does it, he blips out of existence.

[A]

Oh, he doesn't go to jail.

[B]

He doesn't go to jail. He goes back to. He goes back to the reality he should be in.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then I don't do anything. I. I don't kill anybody. And I just go out and I. Yeah. I let starting the town. Yeah. I just let every hot stonewall in hard body. Yeah.

[C]

Have at you have at me like why not?

[A]

Why the not right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You only live once.

[B]

I lived with years with Ming.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Going to every candle con on the planet. I mean to be alone every weekend of the year.

[A]

Even this university can't stop.

[B]

Tell him, Steve.

[A]

Dave.