#644: Funeral for a Friend

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! – Episode #644: "Funeral for a Friend"

Release Date: July 14, 2025
Podcast Description: Two Comic Book Men and an Impractical Joker. Uncensored.

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Episode Overview

This emotional episode is a heartfelt tribute to Tim, a beloved friend of the Tell 'Em Steve-Dave (TESD) crew, who passed away from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). The hosts—Brian (A), Brian "Q" Quinn (B), and Walt Flanagan (C)—reflect on their memories of Tim, his impact on their lives and the TESD community, and grapple with grief, legacy, and the cruel arbitrariness of life and death. The episode is rich in anecdotes, eulogizing humor, and existential musings, offering solace to fans and listeners who knew Tim through the podcast.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Remembering Tim’s Personality and Impact

• Universal Admiration:

  • The trio repeatedly marvel at how universally beloved Tim was within both their personal circles and the greater Red Bank/TESD community.
  • “People love Tim. They really did… I’ve never heard anybody say anything negative about the man.” – B (01:51)
  • “Is it possible that his Teflon was even harder than Sunday Jeff’s?” – A (01:46)

• Public Memorials:

  • Flowers and photos placed at Jax, the record store where Tim worked, reveal the breadth of his local impact.
    • "It was really nice that I saw last night they were putting flowers on Jax... It was in the paper, too." – C (02:21)

• Record Store Legacy:

  • Tim was a fixture at Jax since the 1990s; even for those who didn’t know him well, he represented a comforting constant in the Red Bank community.

2. Tim’s Journey with the Podcast and Friendship

• Initial Hesitations Overcome:

  • Walt shares he was initially intimidated by Tim’s biker-like exterior but quickly found him humble and self-effacing once he joined the TESD crew.
  • "I wish I had asked him to be a part of it sooner, but I was intimidated by his look... but I couldn’t have been more wrong.” – C (04:16, 05:49)
  • Despite Walt’s reservations, Tim eagerly embraced invitations to participate, even in the goofiest podcast projects.

• Iconic Podcast Moments:

  • Tim brought a unique, sarcastic but not jaded sense of humor to projects like PPP (Purveyors, Posers, and Playlists) and the KISS podcast series.
  • “Anytime after that, he tackled any number of goofy, ridiculous scenarios… without hesitation. Maybe a little hesitation…” – C (07:17)
  • Despite shyness, Tim always gave his best effort—even dressing in monster costumes for music videos, or considering full KISS makeup for episodes.
    • "He was definitely self-conscious... but he's the only one out of all of us that doesn't look like a complete and utter dork.” – C (08:10)

• Judging and Texts:

  • The hosts reminisce about how much it meant to have Tim pick their songs as winners and about his sincere, if sometimes unintentionally hilarious, text messages regarding the show.

3. Dealing with Loss and Grieving

• Shock at ALS Progression:

  • The group is stunned at how quickly the disease took Tim, moving from symptoms to passing within months—much faster than the two-to-four-year prognosis.
  • “There was hope… when we were getting together the Speak and Spell kind of thing for him… I thought for sure, like, okay, well he must have a while then.” – A (01:20)
  • They discuss wider listener responses, noting many families' experiences with ALS and the statistical prevalence of the disease.
    • “It was like one in 400 people… which seems like a lot, right?” – A (19:53)

• Community Support and Final Projects:

  • Walt thanks fans and volunteers who helped with Tim’s “voice project” and benefit podcast, highlighting the outpouring of love and support (20:20).

• Existential Discussions:

  • The conversation turns philosophical; the hosts wrestle openly with the randomness of tragedy, the meaning of legacy, and questions of an afterlife.
  • “What’s the best you could hope for? And I guess it’s like after you go, that people care that you lived… he—who you know—sure seems like people care.” – B (35:41)
  • Q's ruminations underscore the limits of human perception and the mystery of death.
    • “The limitations of the human perception and the human mind have locked us into a universe where we just don’t really know what the fuck’s going on…” – B (57:59)

4. Humor, Memories, and Legacy

• Balancing Mourning and Laughter:

  • The irreverent TESD tone persists—banter, gallows humor, and fond recollections soften the sorrow.
  • “I liked the part of him that was like, ‘This is stupid. Let’s do this.’” – B (07:34)
  • The team jokes about posthumous voice synthesis and memorial tattoos, keeping Tim’s personality alive even as they grieve.

• Lasting Presence:

  • Tim’s unreleased podcast episodes serve as a difficult but meaningful “last gift.” Walt finds comfort in there being “still more of Tim to give.”
    • “I want to release them… it feels like… there’s still more of him to give. But I don’t know if I want that last episode, releasing then feels… that’s it.” – C (17:14)
  • They make analogies to memorable TV moments—Bobby Bacala saving his late wife’s last meal in The Sopranos (63:00).

• Coining Unforgettable Phrases:

  • The panel credits Tim for popularizing “Unfuckwithable” to describe things that are perfect.
    • “Have you ever heard that before?” – C (64:06)
    • “Let’s give it to him, man… Unfuckwithable. I wish there wasn’t a curse in it. Cause… buy a brick somewhere that says ‘Unfuckwithable. Tim the record store guy.’” – B/A (64:14)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Tim’s Humility and Impact:

  • “He may have looked like a tough biker, but he certainly was just a humble, aw-shucks kind of guy.” – A (06:07)

• On Grief and Moving Forward:

  • “You can’t walk around an open wound all the time… you just can’t obsess… otherwise you’re done for.” – A (38:01)
  • “I wish we were better at holding on to… the meaning… holding on to not allowing that to fade…” – C (39:15)

• On Life’s Randomness:

  • “What rhyme or reason is there that the four of us will go into the woods and one of us will… get this… it just boggles your mind.” – C (31:44)
  • “It’s like, none of it… in the end, the earth will fucking boil away to nothing and we’ll all be gone. So what’s the best you could hope for? And I guess it’s like after you go, that people care that you lived.” – B (35:39)

• Community Mourning:

  • “Every flower on [the memorial] is another testament to that, you know… you want him to have that.” – B (48:18)

• On Tim’s Legacy:

  • “He will be greatly missed. And like I said, I still have this feeling like he’s still kind of here. Because of those episodes… there’s still more of him.” – C (62:32)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tim’s Passing & ALS Discussion: 00:33 – 01:13, 19:32 – 20:18
• Tim at Jax & Community Reaction: 02:21 – 03:46, 48:03 – 49:08
• Walt on First Meeting Tim: 04:16 – 06:16
• PPP/Podcast Memories: 07:17 – 14:11
• Unreleased KISS Episodes & Legacy: 14:23 – 17:14, 65:13 – 67:19
• Grief, Mourning, and Life Lessons: 31:44 – 39:21, 53:55 – 55:39
• Existential and Afterlife Musings: 57:05 – 61:43
• Tim’s Signature Phrase: 63:31 – 64:14

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Tone and Style Highlights

• Warm, Uncensored, and Real: The hosts oscillate between vulnerability, dry humor, and irreverence—a signature TESD blend that both comforts and disarms.
• Philosophical and Reflective: Especially toward the middle and end, the conversation goes deep, pondering loss, mortality, and what it means to leave a mark.
• Community-Driven: The show amplifies the energy and gratitude of the extended TESD “ant” community, making the grief both collective and cathartic.

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Conclusion

“Funeral for a Friend” stands as an affecting, honest, and loving farewell to Tim—celebrating his humor, humility, and indelible presence within the TESD family. Even amidst sorrow, the hosts’ banter and stories illuminate the importance of cherishing friendships, facing loss with grace and laughter, and never forgetting those who made a difference. Tim, by all accounts, truly was “unfuckwithable.”

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Tell 'Em Steve-Dave!

Transcript

[A]

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Em. Steve.

[B]

Dave here with bq. Hello.

[A]

Here with Walt.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

And I know that at one point we said that every episode should be dedicated to Lindsay. Several times since then, we've had other people that we had to shuffle in there. Shoehorn in there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To have the episode dedicated to them. I think she wouldn't mind this week if we dedicated it to Tim.

[B]

Yeah, I think she'd be okay with it. Yeah.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

She doesn't have a choice, I guess, but, like, yeah, I think she'd be way.

[A]

Lindsay. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah. Sorry about that, Lindsay.

[A]

Yeah, maybe next week. But. Yes, our dear friend Tim passed away from ALS just yesterday, if I'm not mistaken, which would be. I don't even know what day today is. Today's Wednesday, so it'd be Tuesday. Tuesday morning after. Not a very long way sooner than.

[B]

I mean.

[A]

Yeah. I was reading up on it and on als, Lou Gehrig's disease, and it said that usually the prognosis is like two to four years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So he went downhill pretty quickly.

[B]

That accelerated, man. Yeah.

[A]

Which sucks. Or it's better because you're not suffering the whole time and you're not, like, watching yourself degenerate.

[B]

Yes. I would have liked a longer Runway of, like, I'm okay, you know?

[A]

Well, there was hope, like, when we were getting together, the. The Speak and Spell kind of thing for him. Like, when we did that, I thought for sure, like, okay, well, he must have a while then.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know, because he was gonna have to use this for his speech. That takes a little while.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, so a lot of. A lot of Facebook activity. I saw a lot of Twitter activity. I saw pictures of ants with Tim.

[B]

People love Tim.

[A]

They really did. I was thinking about it. I was like, is it possible that his Teflon was even harder than Sunday Jeff's? Because Sunday Jeff is widely beloved. But Tim and I said to Troy, who texted Walnut earlier, I was like, I've never heard anything. But anybody say negative. Anything negative about the man.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's shocking, you know? Yeah. He's just a great dude. I was.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So it was really nice that I saw last night they were putting flowers on Jax.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Oh, I saw that. Yeah. It was in the paper, too.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Or the online paper, anyway.

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

Yeah. I think he made a pretty big impact with people, like, beyond what we know.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I mean, like, because he's been at Jax forever, so any regular customer of Jax goes in there and sees him. And, yeah, I was like, hey, it's Tim.

[B]

How long was he at jax before he left?

[C]

I think he started in the 90s.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah, he was there a long time. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, it's a long stretch.

[B]

Yeah, it's Tim, the record store clerk. I went online, I looked, you know, I went on to, you know, if. I guess we posted that. That cartoon of him, and, man, the comments underneath it were like, you know, I hope his family is getting a chance to see it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it was. It was one great thing after another.

[A]

Yeah. I saw one of the comments was from his stepdaughter.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I think I did see that. Yes.

[A]

Yes. Had a lot of likes, right. She was basically like, he really loved being a part of this, you know, the. Tell him, Steve. Daveny. Well, the ants particularly, right. Because everybody would go and see him. Even when I go to Red bank, it's like, I. I like. If I go to Red Bank, I would stop in and see him.

[B]

Yeah. Als, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. My God.

[A]

Like a thing in the world you can do about it.

[B]

It's not a thing. I mean, you're driving out here, and you're just like, you know, and it's like, you guys knew him better than I did. I was still pretty shook when I heard, you know what I mean? So I was feeling really bad for you guys, you know what I mean? Like, you like my boys. I know you guys were both, like, close. I know Walt. You were very close to him. And, like.

[C]

Yeah, well, I knew him. I knew of him long before I asked him to be on. Involved with tsd. And I told him I got to tell him before that. I wish I had asked him to be a part of it sooner, but I was intimidated by his look, which was not anywhere near, like, the inner, you know, he looked to me like a biker with all his tattoos, and he looked like he stepped off out of the Hell's Angels.

[A]

At one point. I fucking give up. Bring on the tattoos.

[C]

And I was. I was so intimidated. He was a very large man, too. And I was always like, well, I'm gonna go ask him if he be involved, because I would talk to him a little bit when he came into the stash, or I would talk to him if I was in Jack's. And I didn't know he had, like, a sense of humor or anything, you know, like, so. But when I did feelings, when I did talk to him, I realized how knowledgeable he was and how. How great he would be. But I stood on Mike and how, like, I was like, oh, this guy would be great. But I always was like, oh, he'll think it's stupid or he'll think it's goofy. And I was so intimidated to go over there and ask him.

[A]

He's not lying. I remember all these reservations, invoicing them.

[C]

And to him when, you know, to get to know him through all, you know, all the projects, he was involved with us. Like, I couldn't have been more wrong about, you know, he may have looked like a tough biker, but he certainly was just.

[A]

He was like a humble, aw, shucks kind of guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, he didn't. Like, even if you complimented him, he's like, oh, it's okay. You know?

[C]

Yeah. Like, he didn't have any ounce of. Like, that. What I thought he would like his perception of him being, like, this tough. Not that he wasn't. I'm just saying, like, this. Like, he looked like he would rather. Like, he would just as soon as, like, run you over on his motorcycle than want to talk on Mike. To me, that's what I always thought that's what he looked like. But, yeah, I couldn't have been more wrong. And I have every text on my phone with him, and I look back, and I asked him in 2018 to be on PPP purveyors, posers, and playlists. And I even write in the thing. I was like. And I looked back at the text. I was like. I danced around it for, like, I'm doing this thing. I'd like you to be involved. Would you want to be involved? It's, you know, you have to judge songs. And he was like, yeah, I guess. Sure.

[A]

And.

[C]

Anytime after that, like, he tackled any number of goofy, ridiculous scenarios that I would ask him if, like, hey, would you do this without hesitation? Maybe a little hesitation.

[B]

Yeah. I was gonna say, like, I liked the part of him that was like, this is stupid. Let's do this. Like, I like that part of him, you know, where he's like, I can't believe I'm in. Like, you would see it on his face.

[C]

I mean, I think to. Back to one of the stupidest things I asked him to do, but came out so good, is we did this music video where everybody in TESD town dressed up in a rubber Kaiju costume.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

For something I was working on. And I asked him to come down and get into this ridiculous rubber monster suit and play guitar. Like, a real guitar.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I know he, like, he's not that kind of Guy that was like, so I need you to stand in front of the, stand in front of the green screen by yourself and do this and act like you're rocking out. And like, he was definitely self conscious about it. But I look back on that video, he's the only one out of all of us that doesn't look like a complete and utter dork. Even in a rubber suit, he moved and acted like a rock star. Like, he looks cool playing the guitar and doing that. And it feels like that was just yesterday.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It just feels like there's. There's no way.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then, my God, then when I asked him, because you know how. How awesome he was on Purveyors, I was like, I have this other thing I'd like to bounce off you. Which was the Kiss one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I remember telling him what I wanted to do with it. And first he said, I don't like kiss.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, that's great. I. I love that.

[A]

Now I got two of them.

[C]

And I was like, I don't care that you don't like Kiss. I was like, I just want somebody with your knowledge and your, and your humor. Because it was a different type of humor. Like, it was, there was a, like, I guess it was kind of like sarcastic. But never jaded though, right?

[A]

Self effacing, you know, Very.

[C]

Like, his jokes were like, he owned it. Like, nobody else would say the jokes that he made. I don't know, it's just. But I remember telling him that we're going to do. I wanted to do the Kiss one. And he said, okay, I'll do it. And initially, then I had to text them. I had the text. I was like, I have this idea. I hope you're up for it. But every episode I want to do in full white makeup, face paint, and we'll do it. And before we decided to do a mask, then I was like, well, masks will be a lot easier. But he was like, okay, I go, I'll do it. Anything. Anything. He was up for. And did it with the utmost. He respected the most ridiculous proposition for me.

[B]

Great. Is that.

[C]

And did it with amazing effort. Like, he just, he wanted it to be good. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, man. He. I remember when, when I, you know, we did the, the ppp and I was like, when he would pick my song as the winner, it felt like I really won something. You know what I mean? Like, like it felt like, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, man. Like, I don't. I agree with me.

[A]

I know exactly the way you feel. Because there were some times when we were on PvP and it was like, right on the fucking bubble, like, whether or not my team was gonna win. And when he was like, oh, yeah, I like Brian's song better, I'm like, oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah, there was something to it. Yeah, it was great.

[C]

I remember after the first time I lost a PPP round and I kind of went into, like, the sore loser mode, he left. I think it was the rap one with who Let the Dogs Out. He left the recording rather abruptly after we were done. Ok. And he texted me later and was like, hey, man, I. I hope you're not mad at me. I know you were pretty upset with losing. And he. And I was like, no, no, no, bro. I was like, that's not real. It's not real. I go, I'm not mad. I go, you are awesome. And he was really taken aback, I guess, that I kind of, like, threw a little tantrum on Mike that I lost. But he didn't.

[B]

He didn't get it. Yeah.

[C]

And then after that, he got it and I was like, dude, it's never serious. I don't, like, I'm not being. You know, that was all an act. And after that, he had. He didn't have any reservations about shitting on any of my selections.

[A]

But when he. When he first showed up, he was just like. He was, like, almost aghast at the way we were treating each other.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's like, I've never seen people like this before.

[B]

I remember you telling me that.

[A]

This is gonna be a fun game.

[B]

They're fucking tearing each other apart.

[C]

I was looking back through some of the texts and he. Do you remember the. The picnic Olympics that we did?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I asked him to be a part of that. I don't even know what year that was. It was a while ago.

[B]

But he was good at it, too. Like, he was pretty good on that field.

[C]

He initially said he didn't want to do it. He felt like it wasn't his thing, you know? I was like, we're going to play this. We're going to do this. We're going to do this. He's like, no. And I was like, are you sure? And he's like, all right, I'll come. But then I found out later that he almost didn't come. He actually wrote a text. He told me he had a really great time after the picnic Olympics and how much fun it was, but he said he was going to text me that morning and bow out because he just didn't Think. And I'm so glad that he came and did that, because that was an awesome afternoon.

[B]

And he was one of the. He excelled on the field, like, in a way that.

[C]

But that would have been like, his first. Maybe his first exposure to all everybody. So it was kind of like, I think he felt a little self conscious because he knew me and Bri, but he didn't know the rest of the crew that was involved in everything. So, you know, for him to come out and have a good time and, you know, I saw the text about how, you know, how much he enjoyed that afternoon.

[B]

Wow. Man, I'm glad he was part of this. You know what I mean? Like, he just. It's so. I mean, like, Walt has an ability.

[A]

To pick out ringers.

[B]

He sure does. Yeah.

[A]

Like, anybody he brings over to Tusdytown, you're like, all right. This guy's okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I mean, I. I mean, my last one may have be questionable.

[A]

That's true. Yeah. That might have been.

[C]

The jury's out on Mark the jurors from Jersey Coin, but we're still. He's still warming people over.

[A]

An unusual L for Flanagan.

[B]

Oh, man. The.

[C]

I was talking to Jimmy last night, and I was telling him because he asked me, you know, about the Kiss series that we did, and we have six unreleased Kiss episodes, and I know they're in the last three that we did. He did after getting his diagnosis.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And so it's for him to make that, you know, what he's dealing with. He found the time to come down and do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He wanted to finish it.

[B]

It was probably Walt, too. Like, think about the gift that you. You know, I don't know. We're all going to start crying, I guess, but, like. Like, what you gave him was, like, it was probably great for him to come down here and do the Kiss pot and laugh and not think about the fucking absolute horror show that he was faced with, you know, even just.

[A]

For a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. Like, if you hadn't involved him in, like, this was gonna happen to him either way. Right. And it's horrible, but, like, it's nice that you were able to give him because people loved him. And I think Tim really enjoyed being a part of this. Like, I think it brought something to him that maybe he wasn't even expecting. You know, like, who the fuck, at his age expects to suddenly become, like, you know.

[A]

Yeah. Like, people will, like, go out of their way to come see you at work. Yeah. Just to take a picture with you. And everybody said the same thing. They're like, he was so nice. He gave me and my girlfriend some T shirts. You know, he gave me a Ribeye Brothers album. Like, he will refuse to accept money for things.

[C]

There's so many accounts of aunts who met him who were blown away by how, you know, how cool he was to the listeners when they came in and mentioned that, you know, how much they enjoyed his involvement. But I was telling Jim, I'm like, releasing those episodes will be difficult, but his. His commitment to, you know, he wanted to finish it. He told me, I want to finish it. Let's. Let's knock it. Let's knock it out.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

But I'm like, I. They're like a gift, but it feels like they're still. With those six. There's actually seven episodes. He was on something. He was called On Time Capsule with Brian Michelle. So there's like seven things, but I said to Jim, I'm like, I want to release them. And, you know, because to fulfill, like, him asking, you know, saying he wanted to finish it, and it feels like there's. With those seven episodes, there's still more of him to give.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I don't know if I want that last episode releasing then feels.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

That's it. Then he released that last episode.

[B]

That's tough, man. Wow, that's heavy, dude. But I think you gotta try and look at it from a different angle. You know what I mean? Like, you can't because you're gonna release it, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[C]

But that Last Kiss episode. Yeah, that's it then. Like, there's still more of Tim, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

As long as I don't release it.

[A]

You're so right. It feels like just yesterday we were in the woods filming the opening to the Kiss thing. It doesn't feel like it was years ago.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and like, us dressing up and acting all stupid and.

[C]

That was 2019.

[A]

Was it? Jesus.

[B]

Yeah, I just rewatched. I rewatched that last night. The opening. It's so fucking funny, too. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. There's a. There's like, this part of me that's like. As long as I don't release that last one, there's still, like. There's still something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

For him to give us.

[B]

Right.

[C]

There's something still there to look forward to.

[B]

That's a. That's a tough thought, but.

[A]

Yeah, that is.

[B]

You know, that's some deep dude. Like.

[A]

I went down to Red bank the other day, as a matter of fact, when I was walking by, Jackson was Like, oh, she's.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's not there.

[A]

Yeah, Just. It didn't occur to me in the moment, but then. And I'm not sure where he lives, so I wasn't going to go to his house.

[B]

But I think Walt, like. Like, what you brought him into is, like, we know. We've always known how special this is, what we do here. And, you know, for us, you know, I don't know about the rest of the world, but for us, like, what it means to us and everything like that. And, like, you know, I don't. I think a lot of people don't have that. You know what I mean? A lot of people don't get to experience what we get to do here.

[C]

No, I mean, it's a unique. I mean, he sent me a text the day before, you know, saying basically what he was saying goodbye, and he was telling how thankful he was that we allowed him to come in, and we treated him like family. And I said, well, that was because you were part of the TSD family.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's just crazy that could go that fast.

[B]

I can't believe it.

[C]

Six months, so many listeners have reached out since we announced, you know, what he was dealing with. And I cannot believe. I cannot tell you how many people have dealt with this with relatives and everything. It's not as uncommon as I thought it was.

[A]

Yeah, I thought it was really uncommon, too, but I read it was like, one in 400 people.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Which seems like a lot, right?

[B]

Sure does. That's crazy. But scary.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, there was people who said that they struggled with it for a decade, and so for. For it to go that fast is just stunning. It's like jaw dropping. That it would. It could happen that quick.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I want to thank. There was a. There was a listener who contacted me, and he was a doctor, and he spearheaded us getting the. The Voice program going. I want to thank him and also all the ants who. Who volunteer to edit podcast to help with that voice. And if I didn't get so many, we have more volunteers to edit than we needed. And I hope that I contact and thanked everybody for at least inquiring, but we had so many. I may have missed a few, but I want to thank anybody who. Who sent an email in to volunteer to edit for Tim's voice project and of course, everybody who bought the podcast, his benefit podcast on vancamp.

[A]

We could actually go back, like the Lost Tim tapes and have, like, since we have his voice now, make him say all kinds of wild shit.

[B]

Yeah, I Tried to make a. I called Walt. I tried to make a joke with Walt on the phone yesterday.

[A]

Didn't play at all.

[C]

I thought you. Well, it didn't. It felt like it was a real inquiry, and I was. And I didn't know what to say. You caught me so off guard.

[B]

He was saying he was texting with Tim, and then, you know, he's going on Monday. Yeah. We were both crying, you know. You know, whatever. Whatever. Wal and I were talking, and then, like, there's a pause, and I go, did he ask for my number?

[C]

I didn't say anything for, like. I didn't know how to mine that minefield.

[B]

I thought he would just start laughing. But there was silence. And I was like, no, I'm kidding, buddy.

[C]

And it was like, we didn't record with. Unfortunately, we were running. He was just. His health wasn't. He wasn't up to snuff after he'd finished Kiss to do anything else. But we were still texting, and not. Not more than three weeks ago. Like, in the middle of the night, I got a text from him, and we just started talking about Kojak, and the conversation was so normal.

[A]

Normal.

[C]

You would never believe that.

[B]

What he was dealing with, like, you just. You wouldn't even believe it. Right?

[C]

There was no indication he was cracking jokes, just like it was a normal evening.

[A]

I mean, I would like to say, what else can you do? But I feel like if it were me in the moment, I. I would just, like, there'd be no Kojak.

[C]

No.

[A]

I would be like, you and Kojak. I'm dying over here.

[B]

On his face. You Kojak. I'm dying here.

[C]

It was just somehow he made a Kojak joke, and I was like, oh, you're a fan? And because I didn't know he was. And we started just going at, you know, for like, a half hour about Kojak episodes and how much we enjoyed it. And I would. I would text with him again. But between that. In between that and yet and Monday, but not that kind of in depth where it just didn't feel like it was like he was sick.

[B]

Yeah. But I. I think that's, like, you know, and I keep going back to what I'm saying about, like, what we have here and what you did by inviting him into us. And I know nothing's gonna make you feel better. Like, you know.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

No, I understand, but, like, you brought something so good to the guy's life, you know, and, like, the alternative to what I. You know, texting you about Kojak and And having fun, I'm sure, is sitting there in that bed worrying about the progression of this and.

[A]

Right. It's just. It's just another day closer. It's just another day closer.

[B]

Right. And, like, so it's, like, another thing to even have Walt to text Kodak with, you know, it's crazy. There's just not a lot of people he could text Kojak with. Even if he was completely healthy. Like, his options are very limited.

[A]

Yeah. If he texted me, I would have been like, I've seen. Seen it.

[B]

I can't phone who this.

[A]

I can't speak with any, like, real knowledge about it. Except his brother was in it, right? Oh.

[C]

Brother.

[A]

Yeah. Not very good.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Oh, man. No, it's crazy.

[A]

But he did get to. I mean, because he worked on the lights with Magnet. Right? Monster Magnet. What didn't he do the lights for?

[C]

He was a. He was. We did a lot of stuff with them. With them. I mean, I remember we. Me and you, Brian, went to see. Long before we were friends with them, a Magnet was doing on. What's it called? When it Unplugged. An unplugged acoustics performance in Woodbridge at a record store. And I didn't really know Dave at that point either. Like, I knew of him, but I wasn't. I wouldn't say we were friends. Like, I remember him selling me comics at that point.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I wanted to go. We went up and date, and Tim was playing the bongos on it. And I remember being like. I remember. I would still tell him. I'm like, man, I remember that day I saw you doing the bongos. I mean, that was the baddest ass anybody's ever looked doing the bongos. I said, like, you. Like, it's hard to look cool and badass playing the bongos. I said, but you did it.

[B]

I said, it's like him and Matthew McConaughey naked.

[C]

I don't know what that is. I was. I told my. Like, I think Ricky Ricardo was the. Before you. It's just Ricky Ricardo do it. And then you, I said, are the two baddest asses whoever did bongos. I didn't have the Matthew McConaughey in my bongo naked. Oh, what's. Really?

[B]

Yes, really. He was. He was playing bongo. He was living in Texas, I think Austin. And I just read his book. That's how I know the story, too. And he's playing bongo and he's smoking weed, I guess. And the cops came and arrested him, and they dragged him out of the house naked. Like, they didn't even let him put clothes on and shit like that for.

[A]

Like, some of the most harmless shit you can do. Smoking a little weed and playing some bongos. They're like, all right, enough.

[B]

Like, why can't you be naked in your own house? But. Yeah, but Tim out. Tim out cooled him.

[C]

Yeah, he did. I mean, he. When I asked him to be on the. On the new his. I knew he didn't know at the time, but he knew I knew he was dealing with some. Something, and I asked him to be on the Brian Nichelle's time capsule, and he said that, well, I might be dealing with something, and maybe you should ask somebody else. It's tough because I gave him that. Like, I was like, no, no, I want you. I want you to do it. I go, you know that you'll. You know, you'll be all right to do it. I gave that kind of, like, false.

[A]

You know, you're fine.

[B]

Yeah, do what I need you to do.

[C]

I was like, there is nobody else I'd rather have than you wanted. I said, you'll be. You'll do. You'll. You'll be fine. You'll see, and you'll be happy. You did it. And I was wrong. Now he want.

[A]

I think people first started, like, around Christmas. People started first noticing, like, his voice, and when he was telling me, like, when it first happened, he was talking about having the acid reflux. Yeah, I thought that was, like. Because, you know, I had that before. And I was like, all right, well, that's not too bad, you know, like, you can. You can get that fixed. I mean, it's horrible in the moment. Sure. Oh, yeah. There's no worse pain, but it's like, he can get it fixed. You know, I wasn't. I had no idea. Didn't even dream that it would be so serious.

[C]

I don't know who suggested it, but the art. The last Christmas episode, that was a massive room full of TESD town residents, and somebody suggested we take that photo on the stairs. Yeah, I want to take it, but I'm glad we took it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, he was on the stairs.

[B]

I mean, it just seems like fucking. We just did it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. He's on. He's at the very top of the stairs. He was like, me. He didn't want to take the photo either. I know he didn't want to take it, but he took it.

[B]

I'm glad we got it. We got to get that framed in here.

[C]

I guess it's Hanging up. Yeah, it's hanging up. Yeah, it was one. That was the photo that Gidem didn't hang up for, like, six months, but he did. He got it up and. Yeah.

[B]

And covered it in green screen.

[C]

No, no, it's in the. It's over his desk.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah. It will never get covered with green screen. Jesus, man. Yeah. Oof.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Do you know, Walt? Do you know if he had, like, did the doctors tell him, like, look, you can expect to live this long, or did he have no idea? Really? You never mentioned.

[C]

He told me at the Christmas pod because I told him. I was like, hey. When he was leaving for that night, I was like, I'm going to text you. I said, I have this thing I want to do. Because Michelle had come down and pitched time capsule. And when he told me the concept, I was like, the one guy that's got to be on it, I said, is Tim. I mean, he's the perfect person to. It's almost like PPP in a way. You put up things to put in a time capsule and everybody judges.

[B]

Yeah, I remember we played this. I played this with you.

[C]

Yeah. And he said, well, I'm not feeling too good right now. I'm dealing with something. But he, at that point, wasn't sure it really was as crazy as this sounds. It was the second to last Kiss recording that he knew we recorded. He came and recorded two episodes of Kiss, and then we were scheduled, that was for the next day, to record the final one. And he knew before that and had told me the prior. And so he knew, but he was like, I want to get it done. I want to. I want. It'll be nice to have it. He. It's crazy. Like, he would make some gallows humor jokes, and he wanted me to promote the Kiss pot. He said he knew that it wasn't a popular one amongst the. And he said, you could tell where's that joke. And I copied it. That I might not be around by the time the last Kiss episode airs, but you can promote it as the first podcast series to finish and say it was so grueling that it actually killed one of the podcasters just putting it out there. He said.

[B]

That'S how I like to think I'd be. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think I would be, though. I don't know if I could have.

[A]

The.

[C]

Ability to separate it and joke about it. But, man, I guess there's just.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, unless there isn't. There has to be a moment of acceptance. Because like, you grow up, you go through life and you see these horrible things happen and you're like, well, that happens to other people. People, you know, it doesn't happen to you.

[C]

Yeah, you know, like, yeah, but you talk about like I went back and watched the opening, the Kiss intro last night too. And it's like, what rhyme or reason is there that the four of us will go into the woods and one of us will, will get this though there was no way to know. Like, it was just like a random right thing that just boggles your mind. It's like, and I'm walking around Walmart last night and I'm like, because my wife wanted to run some errands and I'm like, you know, what am I doing walking around Walmart? I should be, I don't know, what should I be doing though? What should I be doing? It doesn't make any sense.

[A]

That has a way of doing that to people, though. It's like almost by example, you're like, well, I mean, you could only assume Tim could do very limited things in his last days, but taking that, you're like, yeah, like I gotta live life to the fullest now because otherwise, you know, like, you never know when it's coming. That's the lesson here. It's like you never know when it's coming.

[C]

Yeah, but I feel like I should be doing something, although I didn't know what it was other than walking around Walmart. Just earlier in the morning, he, you know, did what he had to do and I'm walking around Walmart. It doesn't make any sense.

[B]

Yeah, I guess it's a matter of perspective because like, you know, it's like when we say like, you, you have to appreciate, you know, what you have. And like there are circumstances, probably horrible circumstances, but there are circumstances where you would, like I would do anything to be in walnut with shopping right now. You know what I mean? Those circumstances are out there and like where you could sit there and be like, I would give my legs just to be in Walmart with Deb right now. So we, it might just be about like realizing that like you're doing what you should do, you know, and like just appreciating no matter what you're doing is.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No matter how, no matter what, like.

[C]

How small it is.

[B]

Like you could say like, I'm a walking around Walmart. Or you could be like, I love this woman. You know what I mean? This is the love of my life, this is my sweetheart and I'm with her, and we're healthy and we have a beautiful grandchild and I'm in Walmart with her.

[C]

Yeah. It just feels like. I was just telling Olivia, I'm like, I don't know what to do. And it feels like I should do something than just.

[A]

Well, maybe it feels like a mundane.

[C]

Shopping errand, you know, it's like, that's. But I don't. Like, what would. I don't even know what it is that I think I should be doing.

[B]

You know?

[C]

Like, so many fucking crazy, horrible things have happened over the past couple days in the rest of the world, in the country, and it just fucking blow your mind. It's like life just fucking goes on no matter how horrible shit is.

[B]

I was thinking about that when I was driving here and I got off Parkway and I was coming around that turn and I was thinking about Tim, obviously, because, you know, we're driving out here and I knew we were going to do this, and, you know, this horrible thing just happened. And I was like. And I was looking at the road and I was like, this is the same road I drove last week. Like, everything's like. Just goes on. Exactly what you're saying. Like, you could be like, well, what happens after I die? But you're like, everything. Everything that happened before you died, it just goes on and on and on and on. And like, it's. It's kind of depressing in some way, kind of freeing in another way. And then you go on a long enough time. I mean, this is. This was what I was thinking, describing all the things that come here. And I'm like. You're just like. It's like none of it. You know, in the end, you know, the earth will fucking boil away to nothing and we'll all be gone. So what's the best you could hope for? And I guess it's like after you go, that people care that you live. Do you know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he who you know, sure seems like people care.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That he lived. You know, it's like, what more could you get, you know? I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

The only thing that sucks is that you can't look down and be like, oh, wow, look how much people cared. Like, you don't know.

[B]

Or maybe you can. Yeah, man, we don't know shit. Like, we don't know anything. Or maybe like, much like the Dalai Lama, Tim is reborn as a baby. Like, we should bring records. What do they bring to the Dalai Lama when, like, they got. They bring like three of his possessions. And if the baby picks like there's two that are not correct and one that is. And if the baby picks it up like it's proof that it's.

[A]

Then it's the Dalai Lama.

[B]

Yeah. Like maybe we need to get like one of Tim's things. Find, find a little.

[A]

A new llama.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's heavy. Well, you know, and I, I can't imagine what you're going through because I know you also don't deal with stuff like this all that often.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Like last time was Marco, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, no. Your mother in law.

[C]

Thank. Yes, my mom. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, you know, we're getting to that age.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

You know, there's no denying. So you're right though that like you better acknowledge and appreciate things you can still do because at one point you're not going to be able to do them. You know, hopefully that's a long time from now.

[B]

And it's weird how it's a lesson that you. We have to keep relearning, right. Because I had a captain in my firehouse, Captain Nibro, Gary Nybro. And one of the greatest fucking guys.

[A]

You could ever meet.

[B]

Like just fireman's fireman. And like if he could help you, he helped you. And he was at 911 and he retired a couple years back. Six months after he retired he was dead from lung cancer, from tongue cancer, 911 related tongue cancer. And this is a guy that I worked with 24 hours, you know, a shift and helped me with a lot of stuff personally. And you learn that lesson then and then like you forget.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah, you just forget.

[A]

It's like, you know, and well, that's life going on.

[B]

That's life going on.

[A]

You just can't obsess. No matter how close you were to the person, you can't obsess on it non stop. Otherwise you're done for.

[B]

Yeah. But I, I wish we were better at holding on to. Yeah, the silver lining.

[C]

Holding on to the, to the meaning and holding on to not allowing that to fade and letting little stupid shit affect you when you know it's me, that shit's meaningless. But you know, that shit, that every day to day mundane shit that annoys you or puts you in a bad mood means nothing.

[B]

Means nothing.

[C]

It means nothing.

[B]

And there's that saying, like if there's that saying, right? Like if you're healthy, you have a million problems. If you're sick, you have one problem, you know, and it's like, that's. It's true. It's just sucks. You gotta get sick to realize that. Or someone that you care about has to do, you know, go out like this for you to realize it. But, man, I don't know. But we're also. The three of us are also like cynical dudes. You know what I mean? Like, it's hard to keep us on a positive, like. Like loving hook, you know? Sometimes I think.

[C]

Yeah. I don't want that, though, to, you know, you. You struggle. You don't want that to happen. I'm not going to allow little stupid shit bother me or affect me and. And realize that it's so trivial and so meaningless, but eventually it'll creep in again, you know, after a while, and I hope that it doesn't happen.

[A]

I think that's just human nature, right? I mean, like, distance from anything.

[B]

You can't walk around an open wound all the time. Yeah, but.

[A]

Yeah, it's. I mean, it's a good. Good philosophy, you know, don't. Don't sweat the small stuff. Plenty of books about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But God damn it, if it isn't hard sometimes, you know? I know, like, just driving down the highway and, like, some cut you off. You're like, what, the jerk off?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It might send you into a mood.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what? Tim loved me undies.

[B]

Oh, we're monetizing it.

[A]

I gotta pay the bills. Tim, I know you're up there looking down.

[B]

Tim didn't work at Jax for free. He got a paycheck. Oh, man, that's. That's some segue. I was wondering if. And this is gonna sound like a joke, but, like, this is one thing that popped in my mind after we spoke the other night while thinking about Tim. And I was like, I wonder if. I don't know why this popped in my head, but I was like, I wonder if Jimmy the hair guy's gonna get a Tim tattoo. It just fucking. The thought popped in my head and.

[C]

I was like, it is now.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

[C]

Maybe you put the pressure on now. If he doesn't.

[B]

It's like he's let me down before.

[A]

Jimmy, he got one of Ralph Cirilla from the Stern show.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So if he got that, he was actually buddies with Tim. Yeah. I mean, I think he might do a memorial tattoo.

[B]

You're right. He's kind of backed into a corner now.

[C]

Thankfully, getting a tattoo for him is like blowing his nose.

[B]

Yeah, he'll do it. Oh, man. Well, Jimmy the hair guy, if you.

[A]

Want to get It.

[B]

I'll pay for it, bud. Yeah, remove that move. Because I know how he is about money in his wedding and stuff like that. So we can remove that from.

[A]

That's true. Yeah.

[B]

That obstacle out of the way.

[A]

So what should I do? Should I do these?

[B]

Yeah, of course. Tim would have wanted you to.

[A]

He would have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[C]

I was so out of sorts today. I got out of the shower and I'm walking around and I let the dog out. And the whole time I'm walking around, I'm like, man, this feels uncomfortable. I can't. It feels like I'm wearing like a girdle and like something's not right. So I go into the bathroom and I look, I got my under my undies on me undies on backwards.

[A]

You are in the tizzy.

[C]

And, you know, I mean, I should have said it was still as comfortable as hell. But you know what? It wasn't. You could wear them backwards or frontwards. It's all the same. They're that comfortable and pack of underwear. But you know what? Not the case. If you wear them backwards, it definitely feels weird.

[A]

It makes you feel like you're wearing a girdle. Let's see what do we got here? We got Raycon.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

My.

[B]

My nephew is breaking up with his.

[A]

Girlfriend and he's just trying to help.

[C]

How old is he?

[B]

He's 16, so it's his first.

[A]

That's a tough one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm just trying to. That's a tough one.

[C]

He's got a. He's. He's got a great rock to get advice from.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, I'm serious.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You give some of the best consoling advice of anybody I've ever met.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

That's. That's modern day Q. If you had known 20s Q. That's okay.

[B]

Who's asking a 20 year old for advice anyway? Kind of a moron.

[C]

He's lucky to be able.

[A]

Thanks.

[C]

To have you to talk to.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Is it. Did she break up with her? He break up with her?

[B]

It sounds like she broke on him. Yeah. It sounds like a tough one. Sounds like it. Like he's going through it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That's all right.

[C]

What's the underlying underlying message?

[B]

I'm just. Is developing right now? I don't. I don't have. I don't have. That's. The texts are coming in right now, which is why I'm.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You got another one?

[A]

I do. I have two more. Two more. Oh, gosh. I'll knock them out quick. Oh, summer. More warmth, more light, more time to spend outside. Summer is a time to be out and about, enjoying every moment from sun up to sundown. But we all need a sidekick who can keep up so we can enjoy our favorite music, podcasts and calls, and crystal clear sound all day long. And that sidekick is the Everyday Earbuds by Raycon. Raycon's everyday earbuds are the perfect summer accessory. Whether you're going hard at the gym, enjoying the sun and taking those work calls outside, or jamming out while barbecuing to your favorite tunes, enjoy premium audio that goes wherever you do. Raycon's latest model is better than ever, with a 32 hour battery life and multi point connectivity that lets you pair with two devices at once. These earbuds come with active noise cancellation, something difficult to find at such an accessible price point. And their Raycons start at just half the price, half the price of other premium audio brands, and come in a spectrum of vibrant colors to match your summer vibe. They just asked me if I wanted a new pair. My summer vibe is black.

[C]

I was so out of sorts today. I put my Raycons in backwards stem first. I noticed I was like wow, here's what. My ear is bleeding. And sure enough, they work. And I put them in backwards, but, you know, it still sounded good.

[B]

At a certain point, we're gonna have to start worrying about Walt.

[C]

The underwear is true. The Raycon is, but the underwear was definitely true.

[A]

Let's see if you're loving your Raycons. They offer a 30 day happiness guarantee, return policy, no questions asked. So go to buyraycon.comtesd to get 15% off Raycon's best selling everyday earbuds. Right now, Raycon is offering 15% off their best selling everyday earbuds only at buyraycon.com tesd that's buyraycon.com tESD and then the last one is. Ooh, it's a Q favorite. It's factor.

[B]

Hey. All right.

[A]

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[C]

I was so out of sorts today. I was preparing Teddy's lunch and my Factor lunch for me and I mistakenly gave Teddy the factor and I ate his salmon and I was like, wow, Deb, this Factor may have gone bad.

[A]

I thought you were gonna say you did it backwards and shoved it up your ass.

[C]

I'm not that out of sorts.

[A]

You know where the Factor goes.

[C]

Actually, I still know where food goes, what hole goes in.

[A]

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[B]

Nothing highlighted. I think, I think it's really sweet that people are putting flowers at.

[C]

Yeah, isn't it? Isn't that just, it just really made me feel good. That, like that that's such a. I wouldn't have thought of it. It's such a wonderful gesture to go to and put. They put like a picture of them on the sidewalk. Somebody did. Just somebody.

[B]

I think I'm gonna take a drive up there after this and look at. Yeah. Maybe pick up some flowers on the way and add them, because you just want people to know that he mattered. You know what I mean? Like. Like this guy was important, you know? And every, I guess, flower on is another testament to that, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you want him to have that. You know, like, that showing.

[A]

Yeah. Like Walt said earlier. Like, it's like, we knew that. Like, he mattered to us, but, like. Yeah. To see the. What's that? What would you call that?

[C]

The ripple effect.

[A]

I mean, the display. What would you call it? To see so many people. Yeah. So many people come together and be like, we liked him, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's like, it shows. Well, he was a red bank fixture, too, right? I mean, he was like, yeah. Oh, wait. You know who we forgot to rob?

[B]

Bruce.

[A]

God rest his soul.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He was really the last one.

[C]

Yes, he was. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't. Yeah. I didn't mean that as a slight to forget him. Yeah.

[B]

And I was thinking about what you were telling me about the toxic change that you had with him, and I'm like, I keep trying to feel for you, and I'm like, I don't get it.

[C]

Devastating to read. I couldn't. I was like, okay, I must be dreaming right now. And like I said, he said how he was thankful that to be a part of TSD and to become friends with me and. And Brian and all the people that he met, and you guys treated me like family, and I want you to know that it was just. Oh, man.

[B]

But, like, that's kind of, like, beautiful. Like, that's. I don't know many people who got a chance to tell people Right. How they felt. I wonder if he sent any fuck yous. Or is it. Or is it.

[C]

That's. That's your mind.

[B]

Or are you in that moment? You're like, I'm not wasting a second of what I have left on a fuck you. But I personally think I would send a couple of fuck yous. I might even blame some people over text.

[A]

I mean, the way the world is today, you could do it. Forget text. You could do it on video at your own funeral. Be like, okay, just in case you showed up.

[B]

I would not. I think I would understand if this took you, like, a good long while to move past, because that's some heavy, man. You know, there's no prepping for that. There's no.

[C]

I guess there was a little bit. I I felt like this is a, this isn't something, but I. But I had heard stories of 10 years, right? And I thought maybe they could slow the progress or the not progress, what it would be called. Slow the progression. Yeah, progression. So there was hope that this text would come many, many years down the line and it wouldn't be so fast. But, you know, and I would. It's just shocking that it could go that fast.

[A]

It's almost like when people don't know that they have things, they last longer. It almost seems like if, you know, you tell somebody, like, oh, it turns out you have cancer, it's like, boom, they're gone.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That's what happened with Captain Nibro. He was just like tongue cancer gone.

[A]

I had a couple neighbors, I always remember this to. The guy worked his whole life. They were going to retire down to Florida. All they cared about was riding bicycles. It's all these two people cared about. This guy and his wife. And they moved down to Florida. In less than six weeks, his wife died. And in less than three months, he died.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, well, he was a heavy smoker, man. He used to smoke those filterless cigarettes, Camels. And I can't remember if she smoked or not, but yeah, like, just like that fast.

[B]

I think you have like decades of bike riding ahead of you.

[A]

You think you're going to be riding bikes until your fucking legs fall off. And the next thing you know it's like, oh, wait, now, now my bicycle riding partner is gone. I mean, maybe, maybe that's what it is. It just makes you give up, say it, you know, bike by myself. But then there are people who, like, their partner dies at like 80 and they go and get a girlfriend, you know, or a boyfriend or something.

[B]

It might be a different perspective at that age. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think if you get into those high 80s, low 90s, like, maybe you just have a different perspective on it all. I'm used to it. I, I don't know. I. I don't know. Women have to deal with it more than men, right? Because usually it's the dudes dying off.

[A]

Usually the dudes dying off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I remember my grandmother just going through the paper constantly. Like, she, like, every one of her friends died before she did. Every single one of them. She would look in the paper like, oh, so and so died. Or she would get a phone call, so and so died. But I don't know, like at the end when, like when we went to the hospice, like, it seemed like she was like this. I want out.

[B]

I want out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was my grandmother. My grandmother's like, I'm ready. My grandfather, too. Like, I'm just ready to go. Yeah. Which I couldn't understand. I was in my 20s. I'm like, I don't get it. Like, now I'm 49, and I'm like, oh, I am getting it. I'm getting it.

[A]

On a worst day, you might be like, all right.

[B]

Yeah, man. He grew up. He grew up in this area. Like, this is whole.

[C]

Keensburg.

[B]

Keensburg.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

62.

[C]

62 or 3. 63, I think.

[B]

Man.

[A]

Is it natural, you think, to have thoughts of like. Because I remember thinking, like, he's only 63. I'm like. I'm saying to Mary Beth, I'm like, that's six years older than me.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm like, that could be. Like, that could be me. Well, that's just like, thank fucking Christ. It isn't. But like, God, the poor bastard. With these, like, the odds.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's the part that would get me. The odds.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's why I say it's like we all went into the woods that afternoon. Morning. Morning. I think we filmed that in the. On a Sunday morning. And one out of the four would. Would get this. And it's like, why? How.

[A]

Like, what?

[C]

Like, why him? Why. Why. Why was it. It's just crazy.

[A]

And then again, there's somebody that's going to win the lottery today, you know, Completely different, like, end of the spectrum.

[B]

I mean, statistically speaking, you guys who went into the woods are pretty safe from this now, right?

[A]

Like, it's like, if statistically one of us was going to get it, I.

[B]

Mean, that one of us got it, right? So.

[A]

And even then, he was bucking the odds, right? 400 to 1 or something.

[B]

Yeah. So, you know, maybe you could feel good in that way.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It's just.

[A]

It's hard to feel good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's no way to, like. It's just so stunning and a heartbreaking man. And it's a good dude. He was a good dude. Yeah.

[A]

He was a fucking great guy. That's the thing that really sucks. It's like if it was some asshole that you kind of like a neighbor or something, that you're like, oh, well, he's not.

[B]

To be honest.

[A]

You know, it's one thing, but like I said, like, there was. There was no one who wasn't like, tim's a great guy. They would come back and tell you once they went to Jack's Yeah. What a great guy he was. How nice he was. Yeah.

[B]

He was so funny. Like, he was just so, like, sarcastic.

[C]

Like, without even trying.

[B]

Yeah. Like, he just looked at something for what it was. I was like, well, that's what, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The look on his face when, like, he'd be looking to get him say something. Like, it was. It's. It's.

[A]

Yeah. His and Windorf's introduction to get him were two of my favorite moments. Just like, what is this a real person?

[B]

Windorf? I think the first time Windorf met him, he was.

[A]

He.

[B]

He made the claim that get him lost weight by walking in concentric circles in his room. That line always stuck with me. I'm like, that is so fucking funny. That was. But, you know, getting was all skinny and. Oh, God, that made me laugh. Concentric circles. Yeah. God damn, man. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what else to say. Goodbye, Tim.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I hope there's. He's just doing whatever, like, seeing all the bands, you know, that he loved that are no longer here. Just.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I just hope it's exactly what, you know, that you hope it to be.

[B]

Yeah. And it might be. Who the fuck knows? The only thing that I've come to realize in my life is, like, if I think I know something, it just means that it's not what I think it is. Like, everything.

[A]

Yeah. I went to lunch with Mary Beth today. She told me with such certainty that this isn't it. She goes after you die. That's not it. As if she knew.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, what do you know, Junior?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you, 30 years old, fuckhead? Come to me when you're fucking almost 60 and tell me this shit.

[B]

I just feel like if I say there's a heaven, that means there's no heaven. I'll just get it wrong. I'll just get it wrong.

[C]

Why do you think that, though? Because, you see, perception to me is that you're pretty spot on.

[B]

I feel like I don't feel it. I appreciate you saying that. I don't feel that way. And I feel like I don't even know if it's a me thing. I think that the limitations of the human perception and the human mind have locked us into a universe where we just don't really know what the fuck's going on. We don't understand anything. And it's like how they used to think thunder was, like, angry gods. It's like we're still in that. I think we all live in that. Like, you know, like cats could see UV light, right? And see different colors in us and stuff like that. And it's like that shit is going on constantly around us. Like everything we can't see and everything we can't hear and every, like there's a whole world that is, like, just outside of human senses because we've only developed what we need to survive. And it's just like, those are the ones we know about. Like, what are the things that we don't fucking know about that are out there? And that's, I tell you, it's not really a me thing. I just feel like there's no way for us to fully grasp the universe. We're like, so any guesses that we make have to be wrong. Because we don't even have fucking a tenth of the information to make these things. We make up God to explain things that we don't understand. And it's comforting to be like, well, sure, there's a reason for all this because we don't understand it, but there's a God above who does understand it. But so that's why I'm saying, like, I just, if I could imagine it as what's going on. It's definitely not that. It's just definitely not that. You know what I mean? Because I don't have the information to imagine what it really is, you know?

[C]

Right.

[B]

So, you know, we see, we, we boil it down to, well, when you die, do you go on or is it over? It's just like, all right, what are the third options that we don't know about? What are the fourth, fifth, tenth option that we just don't even have a clue? Our options because we just don't know anything.

[A]

So, yeah, I mean, it depends on who you ask. Like, some people will be like, oh, you're dead on the ground. Other people are like, how you're gonna be reincarnated.

[B]

Okay, those are the two options. Like, I, I either go on or I don't. Like, that's it. You know? I don't know. I, I, I don't know. And those options, by the way, were created 10,000 years ago. Like, it's not like these are new options. Like, since we were shitting in holes, you know, in the woods, you know, coming down from the trees, those were the only two options. So there's just no way that we're spot on about it. Like, something else has got to be out there.

[A]

It would be nice, though, to be like one of these hyper religious people who are like, I know they're not, they're not Saying that they think. Yeah, like, I know. They know it must. There must be a source of comfort, you know?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know, I don't know.

[B]

I know it's crazy. And it's like all this. This just cracks open. It's just all in your head, you know, when something like this happens. But it's brutal. And he.

[A]

He.

[B]

You know, 62 is no spring chicken, but it's still too young. Yeah, it's still too young.

[C]

Yeah, it is. It just feels like the he. Like, it's just too young. Like you said.

[B]

Like another 20 years easy. Should have been in that guy's pocket and, you know.

[A]

Just wasn't.

[B]

Just wasn't heartbreaking.

[A]

I. I especially question God when I see things like this past Texas flood, where it's like, not only did it kill a bunch of people, not only did it kill a bunch of kids, but it killed a bunch of kids at a Christian camp. Like, if God's not looking out for.

[B]

Them, why would he look out for.

[A]

A shitheel like me?

[B]

That's a. It's a question worth. Worth asking, I guess. Yeah. I know that shit's just going on and like, even like this, you know, you see those images of those, like, starving kids, you know, it's just easy to, like, just be like, hey, shit's going on on the other side of the world.

[A]

But.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. It's hard. You got a Snorri dog underneath you.

[C]

Yeah. He's been very helpful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Therapy dog.

[A]

Good therapy dog.

[C]

Yeah. He doesn't leave my side.

[A]

Comfort dog.

[C]

It's nice. Yeah, he's a good dog.

[B]

He's a good dog. He came to your life at the right time.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, we'll.

[B]

You know, I. I don't think we'll stop mentioning Tim anytime soon.

[A]

No.

[B]

You know, he'll be around here.

[C]

Yeah, he's. He. He will be greatly missed. And like I said, we. We. I still have this. This feeling of like, he's still kind of here.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because of those episodes. And it is. It is a kind of somewhat comforting that there's still this. There's still more of him, too, for me to.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

For us to release. But, boy, that last one, man, I.

[A]

Don'T know, reminds me. Do you remember in Sopranos when Bobby Bacala's wife died and she had made one last plate of lasagna and Janice cooked it? Janice cooked it. Yeah. He wouldn't eat it. He's like, it's the last one she Made like. And he waited a really long time before he ate it.

[B]

Yeah, I. I get that, too.

[C]

Remember his. Remember he would. When he. Did he. I don't know. Did he come up with it? Is it Unfuck Withable? Was that hit? Did he coin that?

[B]

Who, Tim?

[A]

Tim? I don't know. I never heard it before.

[B]

So maybe Unfuck Withable. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I get what he means.

[C]

Yeah, he. I mean, he's a. I thought he made it up or maybe he heard it somewhere. But. Yeah, I remember I saw someone. Someone used it, like, in a nice little. Because he had used it to describe something that was perfect. He said, oh, wow. With the bull is something that's perfect. He used it to describe Slayer. I agree with them.

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[C]

Have you ever heard that before?

[B]

No.

[C]

He's the first one I ever heard say, I don't know if he made it up or not.

[B]

I'm gonna say he made it up. Why don't we just go with it?

[A]

Give it to him.

[B]

Let's give it to him, man. Unfuck withable. I'm gonna. I wish there wasn't a curse in it. Cause I was like, you know how you could buy, like, bricks that have, like, things on it? Like, you know, buy a brick somewhere that says Unfuck Withable. Tim, the record store guy.

[C]

And he was. I was looking back through texts, and as he. He kind of held back when he. When we were playing ppp. Cause I would have to give him the songs that people were picking beforehand so he could do a little research. He was so brutal to some of these songs, like Between Me and the Texas. And he's like, what the wrong with this person?

[A]

Look at this.

[C]

He's like, did they have an ear? He goes, but he would. But he was. He wasn't as vicious on Mike, and we wouldn't tear him apart, but, boy, I was looking back, it was funny how he would. He was much more apt to tear the song apart in text than he was on Mike, though.

[B]

Oh, that is funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I almost wish we could take those Kiss episodes. I know they're not all out yet. I don't know. I'm just. I'm just talking and, like, put them on, like, cassette and bring them to Jax and sell them there. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like, I'd be like, a little picture of Tim and be like, you guys didn't know this? Like, everybody came in here and loved him, but, like, he did this. You know what I mean, and like, this was, you know, part of his legacy. And like, this way, people who don't know tell him, Steve Dave, or don't know anything about this have the ability to enjoy his work.

[C]

It would be. I don't know though, if Kiss would be okay with the selling all that trademark music and. And logos and all the masks were wearing the costumes. Eugene might have a bone to pick one.

[B]

He's gotta find this first.

[A]

It's just a cease and desist, right?

[B]

That's all it is. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I. Jack, you're probably gonna get a letter.

[B]

Yeah. Don't freak out.

[C]

Something I was working on. It's weird that you had mentioned this. Something I was working on for a long time with BS Jet was we're gonna take every episode of the kisspot and release it as a box set and make it look like CDs. But there were DVDs.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And BS Jet put me Bri Sunday. And Tim inserted into all the albums, like, perfectly. Like, you're talking, like, the artwork is stunning for the most intricate album where, like, if you look at. If you look at it real fast.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You think it's just a normal Kiss album, but it's actually us on the COVID Yeah. It's so well done. And that was what I was working on. But since the episodes were never finished, I never, you know, one day I was going to release this and unfortunately, he didn't get. He got to see the artwork. I would show him the artwork every time a new CD cover came in.

[B]

Oh, that's cool.

[C]

But we never got the edited versions in time to release it. You know, the box that I wanted to release.

[B]

But you think you'll still.

[C]

I'm gonna do it.

[B]

Yeah, that's gonna do it.

[C]

I mean, the artwork is stunning. And he loved was, you know, and it looks just like a CD from Kiss, but it's. It's us.

[B]

Great, man. This is great, dude.

[C]

That it?

[A]

What do you think?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Send off for Tim.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure he'll come up many more times, but sure. I think it's. You know, I'm real sorry, guys. I know, you know, I know you guys really were close to him and stuff like that. Well, like, I'm sorry.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Can't imagine.

[C]

Tell him, Steve. Dave.