Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! – Episode #644: "Funeral for a Friend"

Release Date: July 14, 2025
Podcast Description: Two Comic Book Men and an Impractical Joker. Uncensored.

Episode Overview

This emotional episode is a heartfelt tribute to Tim, a beloved friend of the Tell 'Em Steve-Dave (TESD) crew, who passed away from ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). The hosts—Brian (A), Brian "Q" Quinn (B), and Walt Flanagan (C)—reflect on their memories of Tim, his impact on their lives and the TESD community, and grapple with grief, legacy, and the cruel arbitrariness of life and death. The episode is rich in anecdotes, eulogizing humor, and existential musings, offering solace to fans and listeners who knew Tim through the podcast.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Remembering Tim’s Personality and Impact

• Universal Admiration:

  • The trio repeatedly marvel at how universally beloved Tim was within both their personal circles and the greater Red Bank/TESD community.
  • “People love Tim. They really did… I’ve never heard anybody say anything negative about the man.” – B (01:51)
  • “Is it possible that his Teflon was even harder than Sunday Jeff’s?” – A (01:46)

• Public Memorials:

  • Flowers and photos placed at Jax, the record store where Tim worked, reveal the breadth of his local impact.
    • "It was really nice that I saw last night they were putting flowers on Jax... It was in the paper, too." – C (02:21)

• Record Store Legacy:

  • Tim was a fixture at Jax since the 1990s; even for those who didn’t know him well, he represented a comforting constant in the Red Bank community.

2. Tim’s Journey with the Podcast and Friendship

• Initial Hesitations Overcome:

  • Walt shares he was initially intimidated by Tim’s biker-like exterior but quickly found him humble and self-effacing once he joined the TESD crew.
  • "I wish I had asked him to be a part of it sooner, but I was intimidated by his look... but I couldn’t have been more wrong.” – C (04:16, 05:49)
  • Despite Walt’s reservations, Tim eagerly embraced invitations to participate, even in the goofiest podcast projects.

• Iconic Podcast Moments:

  • Tim brought a unique, sarcastic but not jaded sense of humor to projects like PPP (Purveyors, Posers, and Playlists) and the KISS podcast series.
  • “Anytime after that, he tackled any number of goofy, ridiculous scenarios… without hesitation. Maybe a little hesitation…” – C (07:17)
  • Despite shyness, Tim always gave his best effort—even dressing in monster costumes for music videos, or considering full KISS makeup for episodes.
    • "He was definitely self-conscious... but he's the only one out of all of us that doesn't look like a complete and utter dork.” – C (08:10)

• Judging and Texts:

  • The hosts reminisce about how much it meant to have Tim pick their songs as winners and about his sincere, if sometimes unintentionally hilarious, text messages regarding the show.

3. Dealing with Loss and Grieving

• Shock at ALS Progression:

  • The group is stunned at how quickly the disease took Tim, moving from symptoms to passing within months—much faster than the two-to-four-year prognosis.
  • “There was hope… when we were getting together the Speak and Spell kind of thing for him… I thought for sure, like, okay, well he must have a while then.” – A (01:20)
  • They discuss wider listener responses, noting many families' experiences with ALS and the statistical prevalence of the disease.
    • “It was like one in 400 people… which seems like a lot, right?” – A (19:53)

• Community Support and Final Projects:

  • Walt thanks fans and volunteers who helped with Tim’s “voice project” and benefit podcast, highlighting the outpouring of love and support (20:20).

• Existential Discussions:

  • The conversation turns philosophical; the hosts wrestle openly with the randomness of tragedy, the meaning of legacy, and questions of an afterlife.
  • “What’s the best you could hope for? And I guess it’s like after you go, that people care that you lived… he—who you know—sure seems like people care.” – B (35:41)
  • Q's ruminations underscore the limits of human perception and the mystery of death.
    • “The limitations of the human perception and the human mind have locked us into a universe where we just don’t really know what the fuck’s going on…” – B (57:59)

4. Humor, Memories, and Legacy

• Balancing Mourning and Laughter:

  • The irreverent TESD tone persists—banter, gallows humor, and fond recollections soften the sorrow.
  • “I liked the part of him that was like, ‘This is stupid. Let’s do this.’” – B (07:34)
  • The team jokes about posthumous voice synthesis and memorial tattoos, keeping Tim’s personality alive even as they grieve.

• Lasting Presence:

  • Tim’s unreleased podcast episodes serve as a difficult but meaningful “last gift.” Walt finds comfort in there being “still more of Tim to give.”
    • “I want to release them… it feels like… there’s still more of him to give. But I don’t know if I want that last episode, releasing then feels… that’s it.” – C (17:14)
  • They make analogies to memorable TV moments—Bobby Bacala saving his late wife’s last meal in The Sopranos (63:00).

• Coining Unforgettable Phrases:

  • The panel credits Tim for popularizing “Unfuckwithable” to describe things that are perfect.
    • “Have you ever heard that before?” – C (64:06)
    • “Let’s give it to him, man… Unfuckwithable. I wish there wasn’t a curse in it. Cause… buy a brick somewhere that says ‘Unfuckwithable. Tim the record store guy.’” – B/A (64:14)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Tim’s Humility and Impact:

  • “He may have looked like a tough biker, but he certainly was just a humble, aw-shucks kind of guy.” – A (06:07)

• On Grief and Moving Forward:

  • “You can’t walk around an open wound all the time… you just can’t obsess… otherwise you’re done for.” – A (38:01)
  • “I wish we were better at holding on to… the meaning… holding on to not allowing that to fade…” – C (39:15)

• On Life’s Randomness:

  • “What rhyme or reason is there that the four of us will go into the woods and one of us will… get this… it just boggles your mind.” – C (31:44)
  • “It’s like, none of it… in the end, the earth will fucking boil away to nothing and we’ll all be gone. So what’s the best you could hope for? And I guess it’s like after you go, that people care that you lived.” – B (35:39)

• Community Mourning:

  • “Every flower on [the memorial] is another testament to that, you know… you want him to have that.” – B (48:18)

• On Tim’s Legacy:

  • “He will be greatly missed. And like I said, I still have this feeling like he’s still kind of here. Because of those episodes… there’s still more of him.” – C (62:32)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tim’s Passing & ALS Discussion: 00:33 – 01:13, 19:32 – 20:18
• Tim at Jax & Community Reaction: 02:21 – 03:46, 48:03 – 49:08
• Walt on First Meeting Tim: 04:16 – 06:16
• PPP/Podcast Memories: 07:17 – 14:11
• Unreleased KISS Episodes & Legacy: 14:23 – 17:14, 65:13 – 67:19
• Grief, Mourning, and Life Lessons: 31:44 – 39:21, 53:55 – 55:39
• Existential and Afterlife Musings: 57:05 – 61:43
• Tim’s Signature Phrase: 63:31 – 64:14

Tone and Style Highlights

• Warm, Uncensored, and Real: The hosts oscillate between vulnerability, dry humor, and irreverence—a signature TESD blend that both comforts and disarms.
• Philosophical and Reflective: Especially toward the middle and end, the conversation goes deep, pondering loss, mortality, and what it means to leave a mark.
• Community-Driven: The show amplifies the energy and gratitude of the extended TESD “ant” community, making the grief both collective and cathartic.

Conclusion

“Funeral for a Friend” stands as an affecting, honest, and loving farewell to Tim—celebrating his humor, humility, and indelible presence within the TESD family. Even amidst sorrow, the hosts’ banter and stories illuminate the importance of cherishing friendships, facing loss with grace and laughter, and never forgetting those who made a difference. Tim, by all accounts, truly was “unfuckwithable.”

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave!