#657: To Live And Die By TESD

Summary

Tell ‘em Steve-Dave! Episode #657: To Live And Die By TESD

Release Date: November 10, 2025

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Overview

In this characteristically rambling, heartfelt, and raucous episode, the Tell ‘em Steve-Dave! crew — Bryan, Walt, Q (Bryan Quinn), and Git ‘Em Steve-Dave — reunite for an episode full of physical health laments, Key West recap stories, Halloween reflections, comic book geekery, pet cloning debates, listener engagement (including a live podcast proposal), and their trademark “uncensored” takes on pop culture absurdities. The show is a blend of camaraderie, jest, genuine concern, and classic anti-establishment comic-shop banter.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Ailments, Aging, and Cancelled Black Friday

• The episode starts with the guys bemoaning their collective failing health, which necessitated cancelling the much-anticipated annual Black Friday event at the shop.
  • “Everybody’s fucking falling apart. That’s the problem. I got a bad back. Git ‘em is like… he looks like a zombie.” — Bryan [01:47]
  • Stories swap between chronic pain, back issues, hospitalizations and the exhaustion of simply waking up, casting a darkly comic tone over the group’s acceptance of aging.
• Everyone expresses hope that a rescheduled “Black Friday in July” might be possible.

2. Key West Recap and the Wet T-Shirt Contest

• Q recaps the crew’s recent trip to Key West for Fantasy Fest, highlighting both fun and frailty:
  • Bryan judges a wild Key West wet t-shirt contest despite his back: “This should be a bucket list item—judging a wet t-shirt contest in Key West. And while I'm there, I was just like, whoa, this is so hot...” [12:12]
  • Q is invited to run for “King of Fantasy Fest.” He debates the ethics of becoming a “carpetbagger” and possibly ousting long-time community members:
    • “They tried to talk me into throwing my hat in the ring for next year...but I just feel like, I don’t know, that's a little carpet baggerish, isn’t it?” — Q [06:35]
• Highlights:
  • Q has entrenched himself as an accepted (almost regal) member of the local community.
  • Amusing anecdotes about Key West’s lively, friendly atmosphere, judging criteria for contests, and “talent” of the participants.

3. Halloween, Horror Films, and the “King of Staten Island”

• Q skips big Halloween plans after Key West, opting instead for Hammer Horror marathons.
  • “I just stayed home, watched some fucking Frankenstein movies...the old Hammer ones.” — Q [13:23]
• Classic disagreements on British horror, Peter Cushing, and Q trying (and failing) to make his house open to trick-or-treaters (mostly feeding raccoons).
• “I trained them all. Not a single person...then the raccoons got into the bucket and I woke up the next day and just...wrappers all over my front yard.” — Q [15:10]

4. Midlife Digestive Debacles

• Walt recounts a health scare triggered by… garlic bread:
  • “I actually went in for like a third slice of bread...around two o’clock...I thought I was dying...My nasal passages were on fire, and I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on...” — Walt [17:41]
• The guys riff on age, genetics, and dietary adventures gone terribly awry.
• A morbidly funny “inventory” of family ailments.

5. Comics Deep-Dive: Frank Miller’s Batman Universe

• Q prepares to fulfill a Patreon promise to read and review the Frank Miller Batman-verse for I Buy Comics.
  • “I started reading the entire Frank Miller-verse...So that's gonna be one of them.” — Q [21:10]
• Discussion of arcs: Year One, The Dark Knight Returns, All-Star Batman, Superman: Year One, and the “varying quality” of Miller’s late work.
• Decision: break the reviews into four separate episodes for Patreon.

6. Pet Cloning and Tom Brady’s Cloned Dog

• The recent news that Tom Brady cloned his beloved dog inspires a serious and comic debate on the ethics and allure of pet cloning (with Q revealing he paid to freeze the DNA of his own cat, Benjamin).
  • “If I had unlimited resources…all your dogs would still be alive.” — Bryan to Walt [32:12]
  • “It was more about finding comfort in that there was a piece of him still alive in some way.” — Q [32:37]
• The group reflects on the comfort vs. reality of cloning not producing the same pet, potential public backlash, the sci-fi flavor of pet legacy, and even the (illegal) prospect of human cloning.

7. A Podcast Proposal: Love and Listener Engagement

• Timestamp [49:00+]: Walt reads an email request from listener Joshua Jackson asking the TESD crew to propose to his girlfriend Nicki Mannet live on the show—because they listen to the podcast together in bed.
  • The guys banter about the wisdom/danger of public proposals and podcast marriages.
  • Walt and Git 'Em gamely attempt a musical interlude for if she says no. Extended jokes about prenups, family fortunes, and engagement sex ensue.
  • “You live by TSD, you die by TSD. I don't know what to tell you.” — Q [51:18]
  • “Congratulations, Nikki...I hope she's crying tears of joy and she's not horrified that a podcast just proposed to her.” — Walt [53:44]

8. Scams & Social Media Warnings

• Q issues another public service announcement about social media impersonators and scams, expressing disbelief that people still get duped by “fake Q” requests for money.
  • “There are zero exceptions...do not ever, under any circumstances, think you are talking to me online. It is not happening.” — Q [61:41]
  • Reflection on how stores started issuing scam warnings about IRS gift card payments.

9. Pop Culture, Halloween Costumes, and Auction Insanity

• Absurd and inappropriate Halloween stories: Nazi costumes, blood-soaked Jackie Kennedy costumes, sexualized children’s costumes, and notable floats (Auschwitz gates), with the crew oscillating between horror and black humor.
• Pop culture auction talk: Wonder Woman costume, Joker suit, Fonzie’s jacket:
  • “That's a steal. You could have had that, right?” — Walt on Wonder Woman’s costume selling for $225k [69:33]
• Quick takes on Columbo, Poker Face, and classic TV crime shows, with Walt delighting in turning Mary Beth into a Columbo fan.

10. Upcoming Roast and Stand-Up Opportunities

• Q invites heckling as he’s asked to participate in the “Roast of New Jersey” at the Count Basie Theater, pondering taking the mic and “addressing” years of Jersey/New York rivalry with the group.

11. Git 'Em’s Medical Updates and Group Support

• The guys close the show on a supportive note, discussing Git ‘Em’s mysterious ailments, upcoming MRIs, the hazards of prescription sedatives, and the prospect of Walt playing emotional support/driver.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On aging and Black Friday’s cancellation:

  • “Johnson's are bred from a poor stock.” — Bryan [00:06 & 20:24]
  • “That's why there's no Black Friday. We'll all be resting up, man.” — Q [20:44]

• On the realities of wet t-shirt judging:

  • “This should be a bucket list item…judging a wet T-shirt contest in Key West. And while I'm there, I was just like, whoa, this is so hot. It's just so fucking hot.” — Bryan [12:12]

• On garlic bread-induced near-death:

  • “My nasal passages were on fire, and I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going on. I couldn't see.” — Walt [18:00]

• On the comfort of pet cloning:

  • “It was more about finding comfort in that there was a piece of him still alive in some way.” — Q [32:37]

• On social media impersonators:

  • “Do not ever, under any circumstances, think that you are talking to me online. It is not happening.” — Q [61:41]

• On listener marriage proposals:

  • “You live by TSD, you die by TSD. I don't know what to tell you.” — Q [51:18]
  • “Congratulations, Nikki…Hopefully this is a joyous occasion…hugging and screaming and messing up the sheets. Tears of joy...” — Walt [57:23]

• On Halloween costume disasters:

  • “Who the fuck is wearing a Nazi costume? …This guy…What kind of an idiot is out there doing it?” — Bryan [72:14]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:06 - 05:00: Crew introductions, health woes, Black Friday cancellation
• 05:00 - 14:00: Key West recap, Fantasy Fest, the wet T-shirt contest, Q’s “king” candidacy
• 14:00 - 21:00: Halloween at home, Hammer Horror, raccoon tales
• 17:40 - 20:40: Walt’s garlic bread disaster and family ailments inventory
• 21:10 - 23:00: The Frank Miller Batman-verse deep-dive
• 31:00 - 36:00: Tom Brady’s cloned dog, pet cloning debate, and Q’s experiences
• 49:00 - 57:30: The podcast proposal — Joshua Jackson to Nicki Mannet
• 61:26 - 63:10: Q’s scam warning and reflections on online impersonators
• 68:30 - 71:41: TV nostalgia: Columbo, McMillan & Wife, and auctioned memorabilia
• 72:00 - 76:16: Halloween costume controversy roundup
• 77:12 - 78:14: Q’s “Roast of New Jersey” invite
• 78:15 - End: Git ‘Em’s health updates, MRI plans, and closing camaraderie

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Tone & Style

The episode is a freewheeling journey through the concerns, affections, and idiosyncrasies of lifelong friends and pop culture nerds. The frank humor wavers from gallows wit about aging bodies, to irreverent analysis of the world’s absurdities, to tender support for each other and their listeners. The banter is equal parts sarcastic, raw, and oddly heartwarming, with the usual mix of pop culture riffs, confessions, and listener love.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode delivers classic TESD: sardonic fun, behind-the-scenes stories, pet/life philosophy debates, and community engagement. It’s a testament to the show’s enduring chemistry and oddball charm, whether discussing cloning a cat or getting mistaken for Pete at Chick-fil-A. The live proposal for a listener serves as a reminder of the show’s extended family—and their willingness to share both the joy and the messiness.

Transcript

[A]

Johnson's are bred from a poor stock.

[B]

Yeah. Do some carpet baggery, bro. You love to be kept in check, don't you?

[C]

That's the best.

[B]

I'm just.

[C]

I'm so glad.

[B]

You're just glad that people are out there keeping you in check.

[C]

It's the best.

[B]

Tell Them Steve Dave.

[A]

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Them Steve Dave. What's up, eq?

[C]

Hey, buddy.

[A]

And what's up, Walt?

[B]

Yo.

[A]

And I noticed even Ginham has put out a mic for himself.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I was chastised to do it, so.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you were chided into it.

[D]

You.

[A]

When you said it right out of the gate.

[C]

This has been going on for about 45 minutes before we even turned on the mic.

[D]

I said put on a mic because I'm sick of you people asking you questions and you can't answer.

[B]

Right, okay. All right. I thought you meant a recent chastise because I don't remember the chastises from a couple weeks ago.

[D]

There's so many of them. There's so many to choose from.

[A]

News. Got news? Yeah, Unfortunate news. Black Friday. People are planning to come here. We're not going to be doing it this year due to failing health.

[C]

We're all falling apart.

[A]

Everybody's fucking falling apart. That's the problem. I got a bed back. Gidem is like. He looks like a zombie.

[C]

We're gonna have to get a new office with a ramp for this guy soon.

[D]

Oh, yeah. These doors are not wheelchair compliant.

[C]

Right.

[D]

I checked it out.

[C]

Well, maybe a Jazzy can get.

[D]

I was thinking about that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You could probably find like a used jazzy on the side of the road.

[A]

Imagine him crashing around in here trying to drive his Jazzy all over.

[B]

Gidem is literally. Yeah. I'm really concerned about it being a. A long term, you know, him being out. Out of action for a while with. With all he's got going on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, he sits there, he sits there laughing.

[D]

The doctors don't know what it is.

[B]

You got to have that positive attitude, you know, and he has it laughing.

[C]

His way to hell.

[B]

But he's not the only one. I mean, you're not. You're not got a pep in your step right now.

[A]

No, no, I. I did something. I woke up and that was enough. Pulled something in my back. I've been back and forth to the.

[B]

Been a long time.

[A]

What's it?

[B]

It's been a while.

[A]

It's been about five weeks now. Yeah. And finally got the epidural but we'll see if that takes, I don't know.

[C]

We went to Key west for Fantasy Fest and he was in bed at 9 o' clock on the biggest night.

[A]

Yeah. The biggest night. Yeah. Like, I was like, I just. I can't go down. I just can't do it. It hurts so bad. Yeah. And my original idea was like. Because up to last minute, I was like, I should cancel these flights and just say, fuck it, I'll do it next year. But I'm like, well, I'm gonna be either in pain here or pain there. And at least, you know, I can see my friends and shit and hang out.

[C]

You made a good go of it. You didn't miss too much. It was really that one night that you were like, fuck this. Yeah.

[B]

So wait a Q as you. As, you know, as one of your oldest friends, you weren't like, I'm gonna go to bed too, Bri. I'm not gonna go. Have fun?

[A]

That's what I said to him. I was like, how would you react if I was like, I can't believe you guys went out?

[C]

Troy was down there too, with Merrill. So it was like, all right, I have responsibility to show him around. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

All right. So you have to use the Troy card. Yeah.

[C]

He wasn't even done complaining yet.

[B]

I was like, cry heads out. Like, in all serious, he's like, oh, you're not gonna stay in with me and just turn in early too?

[A]

Let's watch a movie.

[C]

I mean, honestly, 50.

[A]

50.

[C]

I.

[A]

I gotta say, it wasn't like Q was out until three in the morning.

[C]

Well, there was one night where me and Troy. That night, actually, we were out till 2.

[A]

Yeah, you guys were.

[C]

But the rest of the night. Yeah, it was like midnight or so.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Did you text them pictures saying, wish you were here?

[C]

No. No, we didn't. We did wish you.

[A]

We just kept testing. What are you guys doing now?

[D]

Share your location with me.

[A]

But it was still. Yeah, it turned out to be a really good time. It was fun. Even with the infirmities, it was fun. I got to judge a what? T shirt contest.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

The big one. The big one on the island.

[A]

It was huge. Yeah, there were. I mean, there were well over a thousand people there. I was.

[B]

So you got to look at 2,000 boobies.

[C]

No, there was a thousand contestants.

[A]

No, no, no. There was a bunch of people in the pool, though. Like, lots of people in the pool. Lots of people hanging around outside the pool. But what was weird about this what? T shirt contest was one. It was me. It was a lady that I had just met who was like 50. This lady Lori, who was the best.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So cool, so fun. Like, when you think of fun people, like, Ming's one of those fun people. This lady is one of those fun people. She was having a fucking blast at this thing. Then there was the king of Fantasy Fest.

[C]

Yeah, they have a king and queen every year that they.

[B]

But I'm surprised that you haven't just become the. The de facto.

[A]

Oh, dude, he is the king. Trust me. That guy was king in name only. Q is the true king down there. Everybody knows him now. He knows everybody.

[C]

Yeah, it's. I got a. Like, I got a nice little community going down. They're very warm to me. But no, you have to raise. It's a charity thing. Whoever raises the most money for charity. And this guy who won, this guy Joe, he was a marine. He raised a hundred And I think 160. $160,000 for animal chat, ASPCA or whatever down there. Totally, totally served. But he was. He's more beloved than me. Like, that guy, everywhere went, people loved him.

[A]

People did love that guy. And what a. What a. He never stopped smiling.

[C]

He's just the best.

[A]

I know he never stopped smiling. It was out there, man.

[C]

Great, dude.

[A]

There he is.

[C]

There he is. Good guy. Really good dude. They tried to talk me into throwing my hat in the ring for next year to be the king, to try to raise money and like, become the king, but I just feel like, I don't know. That's a little carpet baggerish, isn't it?

[A]

To be like.

[C]

To come down and be like, now I'm the king. I know I could raise the money, but I wouldn't want to do it without, like, you know, what does the money go towards? Well, he. It's. It's who. Everybody raises for your own charity.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It doesn't matter which charity you raise it for.

[B]

Okay. So the people. So the people who are. Would be the recipients of the charity money are like, well, yeah, do some carpet baggery, bro.

[C]

I don't think anybody down there would mind at all. Like, like, it's, it's. I just, you know, give me a year or two before I. Yeah, I'm doing really good.

[A]

Takes over.

[C]

Yeah. People are really happy to see you.

[B]

Think you could step on some toes if you go in there hard and go for the crown?

[C]

I don't know. But I know the way you don't step on to is by you know, softly sluffy.

[A]

Monkey. Monkey.

[C]

You know what I'm saying? Like, just get in there and do it. I could see it happening, but not, you know, I don't want to blow somebody out of the water. You know what I mean? That, like, lives down there and is, like, been looking forward to it his whole life.

[A]

I'm going to be the king. I'm working my ass off this year. I'm going to be the king.

[C]

And then I just put out a tweet and I blow him out of the water. I just don't want to do it. It just doesn't seem exactly right to me. You know what I mean? So. But, yeah, but. But it is great down there.

[A]

Yeah. So anyway, this. This contest turned out well. First off, like, she. The lady was 50, but again, she was. She was so exuberant, so full of energy that you would have thought she was like 30.

[C]

Yeah. She. We ran into her everywhere. She was always partying.

[A]

Yeah. And.

[C]

And not inappropriate. Like, not like drunk, sloppy. She was just like. She's like a me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's exactly like a Ming.

[B]

See, in my book, that's a. That's a slur.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You guys, it's all. I guess the way you say it.

[A]

Ming. Ming's doing around here. Yeah.

[C]

Put your rose tinted glasses on him. Look at me. And that's what she's like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She was great. And then there was another guy who was a judge there who seemed to be again, like a local luminary.

[C]

Matt.

[A]

Matt.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

He owns a shop down there called Lost Boy Creations. He's one of the best guys. He's awesome. Awesome dude.

[A]

Yeah, he's a very friendly dude.

[C]

They're all. Are you live down there? Everybody's in a good mood. There's a reason for it.

[A]

I didn't see anybody in a bed.

[C]

Nobody's in a bed.

[A]

I don't. Like I said to Mary Beth, like, when the first Key West. I didn't hear one person walk away being like, well, that wasn't any fun.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Or Key west sucks. No, no, no.

[C]

Yeah. Of which I think we only have, like, five tickets left for it.

[A]

So snap them up.

[C]

You're on the fence. Jump in. We haven't even announced the. There's some big surprises coming for the lineup this year.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah, it's going to be good.

[B]

So it's. It's a bummer. I know some people are going to be bummed. You know, no Black Friday this. This month, but we'll Plan something like a Black Friday in July, right? Something big.

[D]

We're all healthier.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Everybody's not, you know, limping around. I do want to go on a record. When I had a hose hanging out of my dick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was here for Black Friday.

[A]

I remember. I remember seeing it. Everybody, look at my commitment. But anyway, with this. This wet T shirt contest. It was not a wet T shirt contest. It was, like, literally, I think pretty much everybody in it was a stripper. So they really knew, like, how to get the crowd going. They paid no attention to the judges whatsoever.

[B]

I'm not a stripper, but I think I know how to get the crowd going.

[C]

Dude, say no more. You got it.

[A]

You think you got it.

[C]

But it was weird. Like, half the people in the pools were naked.

[A]

It was like the people in the pool had their. Like, a lot of girls in the pool had their top off. These girls, like, they never even gave it a ch. There was, like, a catwalk, and then at the end of the catwalk was like, a little, like, circular stage with.

[C]

A pole there called Dante's.

[A]

Yeah, Dante's. The best fried shrimp on the island. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[C]

They're like, who are you not make.

[B]

That joke constantly, dude.

[A]

I wasn't supposed to be there because, like, there's. There's boys like Matt. Matt's pretty young. He's a pretty young guy. King of Fantasy Fest is pretty young. Lori acted young. And they're all, like, up and dancing and stuff, and, like, you know, they're.

[C]

Having a great time in the sun.

[A]

It was, like, fucking 85 degrees. We were in the sun for no less than two straight hours judging these girls who, like, like I said, never played to the judges. So, like, I hardly got to see anything. And then they were, like, up on. And where the pole was was, like, too far away. My eyesight's not that great anymore.

[B]

Girls, can you come closer?

[C]

What'd you say?

[B]

Hey, Beth, where's my glasses?

[C]

Got a giant.

[D]

God damn it.

[A]

What are they saying?

[B]

Well, they sound pretty.

[A]

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So. And they're like. They come out so fast. They're like, all right, give them a grade. And I'. At a certain point, I was like.

[B]

Oh, you don't get numbers? It's. It's letter grades.

[A]

No, it was number grades, like, 1 through 10.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

So after maybe the second one that I'm like, I can't. I can't even see them. Like, I just started judging them on. On the poll. Like, how good they were on the pole or how good they were, like, doing their, like, physical, you know, gyration.

[B]

There was no talent portion of the contest.

[A]

No talent portion. One girl fell in the pool, though. But it was like. Yeah. I'm just like, this should be a bucket list item judging a wet T shirt contest in Key West. And while I'm. While I'm there, I was just like, whoa, this is so hot. It's just so fucking hot.

[B]

You're good, but this is so fucking hot.

[A]

I wish. So hot and sweaty.

[B]

Gross.

[A]

That nobody will look at me.

[C]

I started feeling bad for you for a while because I was like, oh, fuck. What did he get into?

[A]

Yeah, like you came down. He was standing with me for a little while and he goes, it's too hot down here.

[C]

I had a lot of glad handed to do.

[A]

Yeah, I understand. In the shade.

[C]

Yeah. In the VIP tent.

[B]

The air conditioned tent.

[C]

Yeah. It was very nice under that tent.

[A]

Yeah. I was shocked that I didn't get burned. Like, my face didn't get all burned.

[C]

I was shocked. You were out in that sun for a long time.

[A]

I was.

[D]

Got some nice color to you.

[A]

Yeah. Got a little bit of sun. All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Vitamin D. Need that.

[A]

All right. What do we got this week? So much shit. What did you do for Halloween, Q? Did you ever end up doing anything? I know you were feeling a little bit ill when you got back.

[C]

No, I. Yeah, I could. I mean, I knew I was gonna get sick down there. You can't be around that many people and not catch something. So I just took it easy this year. I just stayed home, watched some fucking Frankenstein movies. Yeah, yeah, the old Hammer ones.

[A]

Oh, Hammerhouse of Horror.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Peter Cushing as Frankenstein.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Grand Moff Tarkin with those fucking high bangs.

[C]

Did he have high bay?

[B]

Oh, Frankenstein, the monster had.

[C]

Well, the interesting thing about the Hammer movies, I don't think I ever realized this before is he. He played. No, no tatas. He played. He played Victor Frankenstein in five movies. The same guy. And the monster is different in every movie.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Which is different from how Universal did it, which is.

[B]

You don't. You don't find Neo, the Hammer ones, a little too fucking British?

[C]

No, because they're gory.

[A]

He likes that shit, though. We say they're boring, they're gory.

[C]

Oh, their Frankenstein is not true. Is not like friend like. It is like shambling corpses. It's really fucked up. And. And I thought it was cool how everyone was a different monster. I don't think I never realized that before. So that's. That was my Halloween.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

And I opened my, you know, however you. I shut my gates and I. And I keep the neighborhood kids out. Yeah, this year.

[B]

I know you did that.

[C]

I. Yeah, I've. I. I kept the gate open. I got candy and I put like a sound effect out and I invited.

[B]

Let them take it as they want.

[C]

I was like, let him ring on the doorbell. Oh, you can let them ring the doorbell too, man. Let's do it.

[B]

Let's.

[A]

Here you go.

[B]

You're really trying to be the king.

[A]

You're trying to play at hand king of Staten Island.

[C]

Not a single. Apparently I trained them all. Not a single person. And then, and then I had at one point went to bed because I wasn't feeling well. So I left the bucket out there and the raccoons got into the bucket. And I woke up the next day and there was just fucking wrappers all over my front yard. I was like, oh, this is what I get from.

[B]

I'm getting a lot of emails about your raccoons.

[C]

Oh, go on.

[B]

They're telling me to warn you to don't play around with raccoons. They got all sorts of diseases.

[C]

Yeah. I don't touch them.

[B]

Beg you to not, you know, like, you know, let them crawl over.

[C]

No, I wouldn't do that.

[B]

Tickle their chin or anything.

[C]

I appreciate.

[B]

Good idea.

[C]

I do appreciate that. I already, I already am on the same wavelength.

[A]

He's over there with Rascal and on his shoulder.

[B]

You don't want to get no rat worm.

[C]

No. Nothing like that. I don't touch the raccoons.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

Have a healthy.

[B]

So. Yes. Very nice of listeners to.

[C]

Yeah, thank you.

[B]

To, you know, blow up my email with all the warnings about raccoons.

[C]

Twitchy is still alive. Twitchy is still, still going. He was. I saw him last night. I gave him some peanuts and last night he was chilling out. So he. And he's getting fat and healthy. So he's all right. I think he's just got like a.

[A]

Little twitch buttoned up for the winter.

[C]

Yeah. Right on.

[A]

Good for Twitchy.

[B]

Now I know we were talking about our ailments. I had something happen to me. I was so convinced. It was like the end.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Yeah, it was up. So for the first time in my life, I had. Well, actually, actually not true. I used to get this. I used to eat this real watered down garlic bread at Denny's. It was the best bread I ever had in my life, but it was barely any garlic on It. But I would. I would, like, I would. It was so bad. I loved it so much. I would even give the stink eye to the kids if they ate. If they eaten too much of the bread. I'd be like, you're not going in for another piece of bread, are you? I was eyeing up that piece. It was so good. The garlic bread at Denny's. And then I forgot about it for years. Well, my wife made garlic bread one night for. For the girls. Because, you know, Caitlin was home with. You know, she made a dinner and I had garlic bread and I was like, oh, it tastes good. I don't. I never really eat garlic, though, like, in an abundance. So around. So I. I actually went in for like a third slice of bread. It tasted so good. And then around 2 o' clock in the morning, I thought I was dying. Like, I never had. I mean, all of us have had acid reflux, right? Have you ever had it come through a different orifice? Not. You have. Not even the one. I'm not talking about the one downstairs. It came through my nose.

[C]

Oh, right. Just. You just had, like. It just popped up through your nose, like when you throw up, like, it'll come out, you know, sometimes.

[B]

No, it never. That's never happened to me before.

[A]

So.

[B]

So I woke up with it woke me up out of his sleep, and my nasal passages were on fire, and I couldn't figure out what the fuck was going around on. I couldn't see.

[C]

I thought I had a stroke.

[B]

I was like. I thought I literally was dying. And I told my wife, I was like, something's wrong. I go, I can't see. I can barely talk and I can't breathe and my nose is burning. My ears were on fire.

[A]

She's like, did you eat garlic bread? That usually doesn't.

[B]

So she just rolls over and she goes, you had garlic bread. I go, no, no, I'm dying.

[A]

I'm blind.

[C]

You did this to me.

[B]

And I was like, check on the kids. Do you want me to call somebody? And I was like, I don't know. I go, I don't know.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Something's not right. I'm going, this is not normal. And then the. When it finally stopped burning, though, then the nasal passages just swelled so it was like there was no air getting.

[A]

So you couldn't breathe at all?

[B]

Couldn't breathe at all? Like, I couldn't get air. And even my, like, in here was all, like, swollen. I had a horrible, nasty allergic reaction to the garlic. I can't eat garlic. This is Why I don't ever try new things.

[C]

Garlic is a drug. Spices.

[B]

My body at this stage, cannot handle new. Introducing new things to like. It's like my whole body's like a white blood cell. It just attacked the garlic. That's how I spun it.

[A]

I'm a superman, pretty much. Walking around blindly dripping out of his nose.

[C]

I'm healthy. I'm better than human.

[A]

We say I'm.

[B]

Yeah, but it was. It was scary. I was. I was convinced something was seriously wrong. I've never felt like that in my entire life.

[A]

Edgar has it. Edgar went to the hospital for four days just recently because of that.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

No, because he has a hiatal hernia. So like, sometimes when he eats, it'll get, like, caught in it. And so he can really, like. He should be sticking to, like, liquids and stuff and, like, yogurt and shit like that. But he had a piece of chicken, man. That was all it took. Four days in the hospital. Got Edgar in the hospital with that. Got Pam in the hospital with heart trouble. Got my sister has a busted knee. She needs a knee replacement. You got me with this fucking shoulder. You got Darren with his back. Johnson's are fucking bred from a poor stock.

[C]

I think it's everywhere, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think we just got.

[A]

Is that it?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because Mary Beth is fine. Sage is fine.

[C]

She's fine.

[A]

God damn it.

[C]

You're right. We're all just getting old, dude.

[B]

God damn it. I mean, we need to rest up.

[A]

That's why there's no Black Friday.

[C]

We'll all be resting up, man.

[B]

We got him. Gotta rest up for the new year.

[C]

It's so sad. Oh, well, I started reading for. Remember I promised four. I buy comics. I started reading the entire Frank Miller verse from Batman Year one, All Star Batman, then Dark Knight Returns in the two sequels.

[B]

Awesome.

[C]

So that's gonna be one of them.

[B]

Is that one book or is that digital?

[C]

It's digital. I own them already on my iPad, so.

[A]

Man.

[C]

Varying quality.

[B]

Yeah. All right. I think we should. I think we should break them up into four episodes. We do year one, okay. Episode. Then Dark Knight Returns as an episode, and then All Star. Batman is rough.

[C]

It is. I mean, the art is amongst the most gorgeous art ever, but it is. Fuck, I forgot how rough it was. Yeah, I reread also. I threw in there Superman Year one as well. That he did Frank Millers, and he did that in 2019, and it's supposedly set in the same.

[B]

I didn't know about this. I was out of comics. He did A Superman year one.

[C]

He did Superman year one and Superman joined the Navy as a kid and stuff like that. Like, it was a different take. It was better than I remember.

[B]

And I remember the Dark Knight strikes again.

[C]

There's three again. Master race. But then he did 21 shots after that as well. Based on.

[B]

But I remember Strikes Again was the very, like was a very first time usage of like a lot of AI or not AI, but digital artwork from.

[C]

Him, all the backgrounds and stuff. Yeah, yeah, there was a lot of that in it.

[B]

Okay, cool. People will be happy to hear that.

[C]

I'm happy. Yeah. All Stars are a rough read, dude. It's rough, but worth it for the artwork. The artwork is flawless. It's just.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's a master Jim Lee.

[C]

Yeah, it's just great. But. But yeah, so I'm gearing up to actually fulfill a promise for once in my life. I'm looking forward to it.

[A]

And that's only available on Patreon. Patreon.com tesd yes. Go check it out. You can see the. Still see the Halloween special, which was amongst one of the best Sunday Jeff shows ever, I think. The Abbott and Costello.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The Slasher School with Brian Rupp, Rupert Professor Rupp. Professor Rupp.

[D]

Rub.

[B]

We did a breakdown as if we went to college and took a course on Abbott. On Costello Meet Frankenstein.

[C]

That's cool.

[B]

And he was the. The professor and he, you know, he graded everybody.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And the goal was to become the teacher's pet.

[C]

Is he a historian on it? Does he know teacher? But does he knows that he's.

[B]

He's. He's gone to film school.

[C]

Do you ever read behind the Scenes on that? A little bit to get into it how they didn't want to make it. So like they would just be playing poker and shit. And they were like, fuck you. We're not filming today. We're playing poker.

[D]

Wild.

[A]

Like, they're real dickheads. Like. Like behind the Scenes. Who?

[B]

Abbott and Costello?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, Stella was a tough customer.

[A]

Costello was the one.

[C]

Yeah, he was the one that was. He was the one that was like trying to take money out of Abbott's pocket and shit like that. He's like, I should get paid more like that. But. But you want to talk about tough guy that he. His son drowned in the pool and that night he did his radio show as planned. I mean, that guy's a. Yeah, that.

[A]

Would be pretty tough.

[B]

That's insanity. That's insane that I see sage floating.

[A]

In the pool and then it's like oh, shit. We got to do Tom's Cub game. What do I do here?

[C]

I gotta read Dark Knight Turns by tonight. Yeah, Yeah. I went to go visit his grave again when I was in LA last time. Oh, yeah, I popped in. Yeah.

[B]

He's not buried in New Jersey, being a Jersey guy.

[C]

No, he's in a. He's in a mausoleum in New Jersey under his original crystillo.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah, I like to pop in every once in a while.

[A]

Speaking of popping in, I almost popped by your house the other day. Oh, yeah, I almost did. And then I was like, I don't know. I didn't know if the Popeyes were still acceptable. Plus, I knew you weren't feeling that well.

[C]

Well, that's the thing. Well, I mean, you certainly could have texted me and be like. I would have been like, yeah, come by, man.

[A]

Because Mary Beth and I, we went to the doctor, and then we were like, well, what the fuck? Like, let's go out and get lunch. And they were like, hey, let's go to Red Robin. We haven't been to Red Robin in the longest time. So we're up in that area.

[C]

Oh, right. Woodbridge.

[A]

Red Robin texted Walt immediately. Doris, chained. Yeah. This is old news to Walt, but it was new news to me.

[C]

Chained up.

[A]

Yeah, chained up. The sign, taken down everything. And so we're driving around looking for an alternate place to eat, and I'm like. I'm looking at the bridge, and I'm like, should just go to Q's house and say hi.

[C]

I would have loved it.

[A]

I mean, yeah, next time. Next time.

[C]

Yeah. At very least drop a text and be like, we're in the area you.

[A]

Want to go by.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hang out.

[B]

You're not, you know, someone you don't like. But if he doesn't drop a text and he's just at the front door, you're not like. You're not like, what the hell's going on there? That gate open?

[A]

Got any candy left? I'm like a raccoon.

[C]

No, I just do that from time to time, and it never bothers me. And Brian's like, my brother. So I would be like, yeah, come on by. It would have been great.

[A]

All right, so the Popeye's still acceptable.

[C]

Popeye. You know what?

[A]

Like, when you're a kid, that was the only way to go over and see somebody. Be like, I don't know. What are you doing?

[C]

You had the cake. You had the coffee cake ready, just in case. Yeah, the old days. No, I mean, I'm mainly Just sitting home writing these days, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like, yeah, good for you, man. We wrapped the season, you know, they want to do more. We'll see about it, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I haven't answered the email as of yet. Kick it to next year. We'll see.

[A]

Yeah, Give yourself a little time.

[C]

It's getting bought again. Like, it'd be the sixth owner. I'm like, I don't wanna. When's enough enough?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

God forbid. What happened to us should happen to you. Somebody new come. Some new exec comes in, like, I don't like this now. You know, you're out on your ass.

[C]

The executives that come in now are fucking. They were 15 when the show started.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

So nobody comes in with that attitude. Everybody comes in and they're like, we don't want to fuck with it. Just do what you do. Just please keep doing it. But, you know, we're all getting older and, you know, what point are we going to start doing nothing or anything? But we'll see. I don't know. I always worry about the crew, but anyway, neither. I don't even know why we're. But yeah. So I'm home and ready to. Down to clown, bro.

[A]

Just.

[C]

I'm watching horror films.

[A]

Could have come over, watch a little hammer.

[C]

Let's do it. Did you watch it? Did you want welcome to Derry?

[A]

I didn't because I didn't like the movie. How's the. How's the TV series?

[C]

I didn't. The movie didn't click with me.

[A]

Right.

[C]

First episode did click with me. The second episode, the second episode has a great idea in it that doesn't fit it, but it's a great idea.

[A]

Right?

[C]

But then the other part is like, turns out that despite a clown living in the sewers killing children, the real monster all along is racism. The second episode.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So it's a little bit like, oh, okay, what about the clown? Anybody think about the clown, guys?

[A]

Is he racist at least?

[C]

But there's such a fucking good. I'm gonna say it. So stop listening if you don't want to do it. If you don't want to hear it. But apparently the idea behind it is the government knows about Pennywise and they're trying to figure out a way to capture and weaponize him against the Russians. And I'm like, that is a fucking great idea for. For a movie. But it. Yeah, it doesn't really fit. And they pull in Dick Holloran from Shining Dante.

[B]

I'm not supposed to See here today.

[C]

No, Scatman Crothers, remember in his character as a young man is because he saw they're using him to hunt. I mean, Pennywise.

[B]

I mean, haven't we seen this plotline though, of like a powerful being in the government thinking, like, well, we have to capture it so we can use it to against our enemies.

[A]

Is that Stranger Things?

[B]

Pretty much. I mean, it's any number of like, movies or television shows.

[C]

I like the idea, but I just don't know how it fits with Pennywise.

[B]

Is Pennywise. Is he a real man or is it like a. Like a demonic clown? I can't remember.

[C]

There's different things, right. He like fell from the sky.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I thought Pennywise is established as an alien.

[B]

Yeah, he's an alien.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. Or a supernatural like creature. But yeah, he's like et, angel, demon type thing. He's not from Earth. He fell to Earth or something.

[B]

Oh, he fell from heaven. I don't know.

[C]

It's not clear. He couldn't. Some readings are he's an alien.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That blows my mind. So he doesn't like someone on his planet. He looks like a clown.

[C]

It's like, no clowns from outer space. He shows you what you're scared of the most.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah. So he takes different forms.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

Right? But the acting is fucking cool. Like, it's only two episodes in. And the second episode was really heavy on like, you know, society ills as opposed to killer clowns, which is disappointing.

[A]

Right. I just want to see killer clowns if I want society crumbling. I'll read the news.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll go on social media.

[C]

Yeah. Y. Yeah. But anyway, so, yeah, that's what's going on. These are my days, man. Just watching horror themed things. This is what I do. This is it.

[A]

This is something I wanted to talk to Walt about.

[B]

I know what it's going to be. I can almost guarantee it.

[A]

You already know what it is.

[B]

Is it Tom Brady news?

[A]

Tom Brady, Yeah.

[B]

I knew it. Like, I got a million texts about it. I was like, I got. I guarantee you it's going to be spoken about about on tsd. So I'm not going to talk about it now. I said.

[A]

Right. Yes, I saw this. Tom Brady reveals his beloved dog is a clone of his late pet Lua.

[C]

I saw this. This was sent to me.

[A]

No, I didn't even know that they could do. How do you feel about Tom Brady playing God? Or at least in concert with people who are playing God?

[B]

Played it on the field and showed that he's God. It's only natural. When he's not on the field, he's gonna play it. You know, I knew when I saw this story break, I was like, I was stunned that he's the one that broke it.

[C]

Well, he owns part of the company.

[B]

Yes. And I get. I guess that's why he's breaking the news, because he wants it to help his company.

[D]

Well, they, this is the same company that supposedly reintroduced the direwolf like about a year ago, but then they, they just purchased another company that was like specifically pet.

[C]

Well, they purchased the company. Remember, I had Benjamin Katz DNA preserved. That's the company, the one that Tom Brady just bought. And I just paid the bill for them to keep his DNA for another year. It's like 120 bucks a year.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I was wondering, like I said, that could be 120 or 12,000, like the way these companies operate.

[C]

12,000. I'd say a prayer and kiss him goodbye. But yeah, it's like 120 bucks for the year to keep his DNA viable.

[B]

So my personal feelings, I heard it. I remember saying just in passing to get him. I was like, this is a man who does not care about outside noise because he is going to get hammered. Like, he is going to get eviscerated by on social media for doing this.

[C]

Why would he say as a cold.

[B]

Inhuman monster who's playing God, like you said, when there's so many dogs that need homes, yada yada, yada.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's not going to be the same dog.

[B]

Yes, we. I, but. And I put myself in Tom Brady's shoes. If I had unlimited resources.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All your dogs would still be alive.

[B]

I go, well, I go, I don't know if I would not do this, though. Even though I'm not under the. Under the illusion that it would be the same dog.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

A little bit of me would have. Would find a little bit of comfort in seeing that dog young again, though.

[C]

That's why I did it for Benjamin. Like, that's. That's why I did it. It was.

[A]

They go all pet cemetery on you.

[C]

Yeah. But it was more about. Because I love him so much. It was more about finding comfort in that there was a piece of him still alive in some way. And then there was something to. Everybody thinks this about their pets, but particularly with Benjamin Cat. I thought he was so special and so beyond any other animal I'd ever met that it seemed there was a fitting sci fi cap to his life. That on top of Everything that he experienced, he also is now still alive in a sway in a scientific lab somewhere. And it helped me. But, you know, honestly, like, if I'd done that, I wouldn't have got Boris, and Boris is currently the love of my life. So it's like, you know.

[B]

Right.

[C]

There's lessons to be learned.

[B]

What Tom should have did was he should have announced that he cloned his dog.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But then he also adopted two other dogs.

[C]

Great move.

[B]

Right? And then you're like, come at me now.

[A]

Yeah, well, this dog was.

[B]

What do you got? Come on, I'm playing chess, asshole.

[D]

This dog was initially adopted. That's what gets me. It was initially adopted, like, in 2000. Whatever. So he did technically rescue a dog.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, that's a man who has seen his family blow up, and that's a man who loves control. That's a man who wants to be able to move the chess pieces. It makes sense to me that he'd be like, well, I'm going to. I'm going to take. I'm going to checkmate death.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If I can. And I can, because I have this company. I have the money, I have the means.

[C]

I'm sure they did it for him for free, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the other thing, too. If they were like. Because it's like 30 grand to clone a cat, which is why. It's another reason. I was like, no way. But if they were like. If they heard this and they're like, hey, you know, we'll. We'll give you one for free.

[B]

If you're at a party and somehow you rub elbows with Brady.

[C]

Yeah, I might be. I can't say that I wouldn't do it.

[B]

And you mentioned how pro. You know, pro cloning and Brady. We were on the episode.

[C]

And remain. And remain. Yeah.

[B]

And we're ready to take the fire. All the criticism, we don't care.

[C]

I mean, you're going to take fire, especially a guy like that. You're taking fire anyway.

[B]

But you're going to take a lot of fire if you were to do the cat, though, too.

[C]

But I'm taking fire. It's like, it's. What are you going to do?

[A]

You take fire for lesser things than getting a beloved cat back.

[C]

And by the way, like, you know.

[A]

You couldn't even use your AI to be like, hey, Staten island has a sister country.

[C]

Yeah, I made the mistake. I broke my rule. I went online and, you know, I got slapped for it, so I deserve it for opening social media.

[B]

Or you love to be kept in check, don't you?

[C]

That's the best.

[B]

I'm just.

[C]

I'm so glad.

[B]

You're just glad that people are out there keeping you in check.

[C]

It's the best.

[B]

You know. You know. You know, you tend to misstep, and you must want somebody there to tell you when you are.

[A]

And you always are. If you look at social media somehow, you always are.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's. It's hard for me to be upset or anger in any way, shape or form for Brady doing that, because in the same instance, I would, too, probably do the same thing, even though I know it wouldn't be the same dog. I know it wouldn't have the same personality. But there's still, like you said, there's still something there that will give you some level of comfort for sure.

[D]

And you're raising them from infancy, so, like, you know, you're. You're right. You're learning a new dog as you. As you would with a puppy.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Or a kitten. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And I. And I'm. For me, too, it's like, because I had adopted Benjamin when he was older, I never saw him as a kitten, so there was a part of that, too.

[B]

Me and Teddy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I would get to see Teddy as a. As a puppy.

[C]

Right. Which makes more sense for you, because Benjamin was just a black cat, which looks like every other fucking black cat. So I could. But yeah, for, like, the specific coloring and spotting on them. Yeah.

[B]

Now it's illegal to clone a human, right?

[C]

Yes. I believe by international, like, decree or something.

[B]

There's got to be some country where there's no law.

[C]

It's done. China. You think they haven't cloned anybody by now? I think somebody's really foolish if they believe that it hasn't been done.

[B]

I, too, have to lean on that. Some countries doing it. I don't know what the benefit is of it.

[C]

None.

[D]

I wouldn't even think a country. I would think just some rich motherfucker.

[A]

Out there like Jeff Bezos, because you.

[D]

Would have to have a lab in secrecy and be able to pay off the people enough that they wouldn't leak it.

[B]

You don't think that, like, how big of a secret lab do you think you need? You think that somebody couldn't rent an office here in the Airport Plaza into it? Nobody would know.

[D]

Well, you still need to employ the people.

[B]

Right? Okay.

[C]

You need.

[B]

You would need employees to not.

[D]

And then they're not gonna leak it. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And you got all these nosy people, like the Yarn lady being like, what's all that medical equipment you're bringing in there?

[B]

I hear baby crying.

[D]

We got the celebrity of an embryo in our box. Is this yours?

[B]

Oh, that's not a baby. That's 0128, my new pride and joy. He's my new grandson. 0149148, he's a little. He doesn't do much.

[A]

0148.

[D]

He's more able to tell you what's.

[B]

Coming out of his forehead.

[C]

Which one? The first one or the second one?

[D]

It's on the list to be fixed.

[C]

We'll get it right with C.

[A]

Do you have a list now? Get a list of. To fix your maladies, your different ailments.

[D]

Yeah, we're getting there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh my God. Yeah.

[A]

How long is that list? This looks like a scroll.

[D]

The immediate one is the no walking thing.

[B]

That's the first.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We can live with all the other ones. It's giving up the drinking though. The alcohol is so.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. It's counter indicated.

[A]

Yeah. It makes it even more fun though. Let me tell you.

[C]

It looked like you were on a blast, buddy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got a feeling though that once this is all over, you probably won't be drinking ever again. That's my. That's my guess.

[A]

I think he'll be like, wow, I feel better. I feel much better.

[B]

So I'm going to give up the. The booze. No. You think that you'll eventually go back to slow?

[D]

Maybe slow, slow.

[B]

Yeah. Not as expectant a night.

[C]

Okay, that's good. That's a good thing. I cut way, way back on the volcano.

[B]

Oh really?

[C]

Yeah. It's getting old, bro. It's just like literally like.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

What am I gonna do?

[B]

So how many? How many what's slowing down? Like if you did volcano. Let's say four nights a week. It's down to two.

[C]

Yeah. Maybe like. Maybe like three. Three. Just a night. You know, you sit on the couch and stuff like that. Yeah, I'm probably more nights not then for sure.

[B]

Do you feel better or is it.

[C]

No, I don't feel any different whatsoever.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I never did it did so much that it was like stumbling around. You know what I mean? It was just bad habits developed during the pandemic. Really, really did it. But yeah, I don't feel much different now. I still don't feel better.

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Then what's the point then, right?

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Now, we've made fun of, you know, Factor, a little bit poked, you know, good nature, fun. But sure, the reality is that, you know, GIDOM needs to go full factor.

[A]

97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier life.

[B]

You have to go 100% factor and I know you're always.

[D]

Can you handle 100% factor?

[B]

Well, when you pull out the Factor, Flanagan flees. He's out the door now as you start cooking with those exotic.

[D]

Oh, it smells like Thailand in here.

[B]

Smells like feet.

[D]

But it's my paycheck you're talking about here.

[B]

But you. I know, I know, I know that you think that you're, you're. When you talk to Frank, that I don't get the, I don't get the skinny on what you're telling Frank, but he tells me you have too many excuses why you're not eating healthy. One being that you don't have a stove or whatever. Yeah, but with Factor there are no more excuses. You can eat healthy living in an office, that should be the fucking tackle. That should be their motto.

[A]

You can eat, you can eat healthy. Office people like, what does that mean?

[D]

If you know, you know.

[A]

I guess.

[C]

It'S either cloning himself in there or jerking off on a couch. It's one of the two making fresh.

[D]

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[A]

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[D]

Oh, Raycon.

[A]

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[D]

Be cognizant.

[A]

Always. You got to stay aware. I've seen lots of people listening to their ipods, walking in front of trains and shit. It always seems to be Asian girls. Asian girls never pay attention and they're walking in front of trains all day. Let's see. Perfect for your jog commuter just kicking back. And this Black Friday and Cyber Monday, you can save up to 30% on all Raycon audio products.

[B]

We're in Raycon already.

[A]

Yeah, we moved on to Raycon. Yeah, we're off factory now, so make fun of Raycon instead.

[D]

We fed you, now we're going to please you.

[A]

But Raycon's essential open earbuds keep your ears open while still delivering crystal clear sound. They just sit outside your ear canal so you can stay tuned in traffic, coworkers or whatever's happening to you you without losing out on your music or podcast quality. So they're like, you can still listen to your music while your coworker's fucking annoying the shit out of you trying to talk to you.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Lightweight and all too comfortable. Yeah.

[D]

Why aren't you working?

[A]

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[D]

That's a problem I've found in other ones is you have to constantly repair it to different phones and stuff.

[A]

Yeah, I have headphones that are not Raycon that I have to do that. 36 hours of battery life. 8 hour earbuds plus 36 hour case equals days of non stop listening. Black Friday is right around the corner. Raycon audio products are up to 30% off side wide. So from everyday essentials to the latest releases, it's the perfect time to upgrade your sound or go ahead and on. Gifting these early deals won't last long. Shop now before they're gone. Go to buyraycon.com te-open to save on Raycon auto audio products site wide. All right, one more, one more and then we're done. And this is hardly a spot. This is something we love talking about. We would talk about this even if they weren't paying us meundies. Real talk. Get them.

[D]

You know, I'm going to be wearing a hospital gown soon, so I was thinking about investing in some new meundies.

[A]

You should. Yeah. So that people aren't like, oh, gross, you don't want that.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

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[B]

I can't imagine giving underwear to anybody.

[A]

For Christmas, though I did for Eric. Yeah, I gave him some meundies just like the monthly. The monthly? Yeah, ones that I had already worn. I was like, I know you're skinnier than me. No, no, no. Re. Gifting me undies to people. Gave some to my sister, gave some to Sage.

[D]

I mean, as a child, I didn't like getting underwear and socks. Now, like, it's something I'd look forward to.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Nothing beats a new pair of socks.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I love a new pair of socks, man.

[B]

How are you getting your socks on nowadays?

[D]

Tough. Yeah, it's tough to lift my leg.

[B]

You might have to call in a nurse. Right. To like.

[D]

I was thinking about getting one of those things that you see advertised in the. In the catalog.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For like, real old people, right? Yeah.

[B]

Like a long ladle.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It's really.

[A]

Only.

[D]

It's. For some reason, it's only my one sock that I have trouble putting on.

[B]

On.

[C]

Which is.

[D]

It's.

[B]

It's.

[D]

It's not the really weak leg. It's the good leg. But it's the toughest one to get a sock onto.

[C]

Jeez, isn't your backup plan to this to go back to the racetrack and direct traffic again?

[D]

Yeah. One day.

[C]

Don't you think? You gotta. You gotta be. You know, you gotta be able to stand for hours for that. Wacky dance moves and stuff like that? Yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I can't really dance much, much anymore. So with this, like I said, hopefully the doctors will figure out what it is. There's something I'VE got a team working.

[A]

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[D]

What is there left to say about me undies?

[A]

What? I mean, really, it's been years now. If I have not convinced you to buy a pair of meundies and try them out by now, you are the most hard headed motherfucker on earth.

[D]

That's all they really need to do. And try them out. And because try them and if you're not satisfied, try them, for Christ's sake. There's a guarantee.

[A]

Why am I begging you here?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

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[B]

I have something request from a listener. Now, TSD is responsible for at least one, possibly two marriages.

[D]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[B]

I know of one definite. I know, I think I know one. There was proposal here. I don't know if that proposal ever made its way to.

[C]

Are you counting Jimmy the hair guy in this?

[B]

No, not counting him. No, I'm not counting here. So that would be three, but I don't know if I would.

[A]

Me and Mary Beth.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

That's the be.

[B]

Yeah, that's the be. All end all right there. Yeah.

[D]

We've had proposals in 35, 65, and here.

[B]

Yeah. So we have another request. There's an aunt who asked me if it would be possible for us to propose to his wife, who is a 13 percenter, on his behalf while they listen to an episode. They listen to episodes in bed. Oh. And so right now, oh, wow, there's a.13% are wondering, is it me? Are they talking about me?

[A]

Am I going to be proposed to oh, shit. Oh, no.

[D]

Why is he looking at me like that?

[C]

Came over.

[D]

Here's his hand.

[B]

What's your feeling on listener marriage charges?

[C]

You know, it depends on age, I guess. We don't really have a lot of info here. If he was 23, I'd be like.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm just.

[C]

Shut the episode off right now.

[B]

Just in general, do you. Do you find any warmth in your. In your heart to be somehow, in a small way, be a part of bringing two people together?

[C]

Yeah, I like that.

[B]

What if it. What if it doesn't last, though? Do you feel any sort of. Sort of responsibility?

[C]

It's not gonna last.

[A]

Yeah, statistically, it probably won't last.

[C]

I don't think it'll last, but, you know, it's nice to be part of, you know, love.

[B]

And what if the listeners were like, well, if the episodes are funnier like they used to be, maybe we'd still be married.

[A]

It wouldn't shock me at all, I think. I'm sorry.

[C]

I'm guessing you got an email.

[D]

My client wants a divorce because TSD's no longer funny. Reconcilable differences.

[C]

You know, you live by tsd, you die by tsd. I don't know what to tell you.

[B]

Well, here is another proposal, another potential marriage, all because of this podcast. And I guess if I say the aunt and the 13 percenter's name, if I reveal it right now, it'll keep her out of suspense. You want to know what her name is?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Or do you want to know who the suitor is?

[A]

I'd rather know her name first.

[C]

Yeah, her name.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nicky Manti. Nicki. Manit. Nicki Mannet.

[A]

Oh, no. Is that me? Is he talking about me?

[B]

And the suitor's name is Joshua Jackson.

[A]

So now she's able to narrow it down.

[B]

He also asked if she's. You know, he doesn't know exactly what she's going to say, so if he could get a little. Just a bar of. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay. In case she said no for him to listen to. So, I mean, would you mind singing that.

[C]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[D]

It's okay.

[B]

I don't remember you saying it like that.

[D]

I'm a little choked up here.

[B]

I remember there being another verse. I thought it was just.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

It's okay.

[D]

That's a whole song.

[B]

You wrote a song.

[C]

No, you were singing a song to horses. A whole song, I thought.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

It's okay. It was just.

[D]

Oh, I just wanted the song.

[B]

Who's the song?

[A]

By.

[D]

Is there a popular LED sound system? I sang it. I sang it at Grammar.

[A]

You just ruined the proposal, you fucking idiot.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

You know what? He asked for Gideon's involvement.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

He knew what he was gonna do.

[D]

It says here, when I point to you, you sing. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay.

[B]

Just that line.

[D]

Oh, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

It's okay. There you go.

[D]

That's okay.

[B]

All right, so hopefully Sound system.

[C]

That's a band.

[D]

It was that guy. We. I sang it on the. I sang it on stage. It was either Bell Works or Grammar.

[B]

I thought it was. Yeah. One of the songs.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you did.

[C]

I don't remember anything anymore.

[B]

Too much volcano.

[C]

I'm trying.

[A]

You're gonna start remembering. It's gonna start coming back.

[B]

A lot of things are gonna come back to you.

[A]

You're gonna be like, give me that volcano.

[B]

But we hope that it's. This is a joyous occasion right now for both of you guys. I hope she's crying tears of joy and she's not horrified that a podcast just proposed to her.

[A]

Yeah. The most awkward and.

[B]

Stumbled upon.

[C]

But it's the most TESD thing, right, Isn't it, For it to go this way?

[D]

What's more awkward? Like a public proposal or a podcast proposal?

[B]

I think a public proposal seems awkward.

[D]

Someone could say, no.

[C]

I used to love a Yankee Stadium when somebody proposed on the jumbotron and people would be like, no, don't do it.

[A]

Don't do it.

[C]

I'd be like, why would you do this?

[A]

I remember we were at a bar. It was the one. What was it? Coyote. Coyote Ugly. The one that I guess it was based on. Remember me? You went to that bar. It was so fucking long ago. Yeah. It was in Manhattan. All the bras are hanging up. Yeah. And these guys were getting. This guy and this girl were getting married, and they were all happy about it. Q was drunk, and he's also in his 20s.

[C]

What are you doing? Yes.

[A]

You never saw somebody try to talk somebody else at him? Bro, bro, bro, bro.

[C]

Look around.

[B]

Eyes closed. Like that.

[A]

He was out of it. He was out of. Was funny as shit.

[C]

I wonder what happened to those two. I wonder if he. In the divorce proceeding years later was.

[A]

Like, I should have listened to that guy.

[C]

He didn't seem that wise in the moment.

[A]

He seemed really drunk.

[B]

Should we tell Nikki that, you know, that she's got to sign a prenup?

[C]

Well, we don't know their financials. Maybe he's the one that needs.

[B]

He hasn't Requested it. I'm just saying, you know, they're just looking out for a bro.

[C]

It made sense. Cleaner later on, you know? Like, it takes all the acrimony and anger out later on. Do it now when you're in love this way.

[A]

Later on.

[C]

It's easy, but it's.

[B]

It also plants the seeds, though, of, like, distrust. Well, not distrust, but lack of faith.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

You know, true.

[A]

But you're almost being penalized for being realistic. It's like, we're in love right now. Sure. And this is all great, but it might not work out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's reality.

[C]

I would love.

[B]

Congratulations, Nikki.

[C]

What's his name? What's his name?

[B]

Joshua.

[A]

Joshua Jackson.

[C]

Send her out of the room for a second. This is what I would do. I would be like, look, my family has a secret fortune, and one of the rules of. If I'm ever to inherit this money, one of the rules is that I have to have a prenup. I don't want it.

[A]

Hate it.

[C]

I hate the idea. But my family's lawyer says that we're disqualified from getting that money one day if I don't get a prenup when I'm married.

[A]

So I get disqualified forever.

[B]

We don't need that money. We got love.

[A]

We'll live on love, Joshua.

[C]

Well, that means that my fucking sister's getting all that money.

[B]

We don't want to live on that blood money.

[A]

No. If he doesn't have a family fortune, at what point does she find out it's too late?

[C]

Then you just come in, like, five years later and be like, could you believe this? My fucking dad blew all the money. But you're locked in.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You here. She's protected. That's the thing. She's protected, which is nice, you know, we got to protect the women. I've always said.

[A]

Absolutely. Yeah, I remember you saying that.

[C]

Same old time. It's my license plate.

[B]

All kidding aside, congratulations. Hopefully over supremely. Well, and you guys are, you know, hugging and screaming and messing up the sheets. Tears of joy and. And you're, you know, she's calling her mom right now to tell her.

[C]

Have some engagement sex first. Yeah. Then call.

[A]

Yeah. Then make the call.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're all out of breath. Yeah. Sweaty and.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was gonna say just wait till the marriage, though. Like a traditional but.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

That's another perspective.

[D]

Like Tebow did.

[A]

Tebow's a pretty good guy, huh? I'm constantly seeing about him in the news, like, helping out little kids and doing, like, great deeds.

[B]

That's that's why people hate him. Because he is actually who what he says he is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Not just that angers people. Why that good?

[D]

Why?

[B]

Because they're pieces of and they can't stand to see someone who is. Who lives it and breathes it. 24 7.

[C]

Right.

[B]

It's a smack in the face.

[A]

A Karen lost a lawsuit.

[C]

Who?

[A]

A Karen. Well, that was the whole thing. I Play America in Freehold and Edison. Well, it might be in Freehold. Let's see. Edison. Yep, yep, yep. Lawsuit dismissed by Edison woman claims I Play America. Did nothing to stop patrons from calling her a Karen. The state appellate. This is what the courts are tied up with.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Just so you know, the state appellate court has upheld a court's ruling to dismiss a lawsuit from an Edison woman claiming I play American. Freehold was negligent in preventing patrons from calling her a Karen. She was at iplay America with her two children have been given access to the Speedway Go Kart ride on several occasions. When she tried to go on one last time, an employee denied her access and claimed she did not meet the height requirements for the ride. Now, I guess she must be very short is what I'm thinking. The lawsuit claims a plaintiff was told by manager that she could not use the Go karts but her 10 year old daughter would be allowed. So I guess she's smaller than her 10 year old daughter. A line formed behind her and children began yelling at the plaintiff, calling her a white bitch and a Karen. Now why doesn't she care about the white bitch part? She only cares about being called a Karen. Then it goes on to define what Karen was. The plaintiff was terribly humiliated, embarrassed by this. According to the lawsuit, she claimed that I Play America employees did nothing to prevent or attempt to eliminate these discriminatory comments from occurring. Now the one thing I agree with is like the white bitch stuff, but that's the only thing that I can point at that she has like discriminatory comments, you know, I guess, but she's.

[C]

White and she's a bitch. I mean, you know, what you gonna do?

[A]

And it seems she's a Karen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The court concluded defendant did not breach any duty owed to plaintiff that could not rise to the level to support a negligence claim. So you can go around calling people Karen?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This ain't shit they can do about it.

[C]

Reminds me of something that I. That I had meant to say a couple of weeks ago. Every once in a while I have to say this. It's come up again. I'm not going to get into it. I'm. I do not talk to people online. If somebody is telling you that they are me and talking to you online, they are not me. There are no exceptions to this. If somebody's telling you no, you're the exception. I have to say that on. Tell them, Steve. Dave, that person is scamming you. There are zero exceptions. I do not talk to anybody. I do not need your money. I do not want your money. Do not ever. Hold on.

[A]

We want the money.

[C]

Do not ever, ever, ever, ever send anybody money claiming to be me. This has got to be the fucking fourth time I'm saying this. I can't believe I still have to say this. There is no exception to this. There are zero exceptions. If someone is saying that there's an exception, listen, it's a. It's a proof that they're lying. There are zero exceptions. I do not talk to anybody online. I do not need your money.

[D]

I can attest to that.

[C]

My money is not locked up in a fucking lawsuit. My. Or anything that I need 50 bucks from you. Like, like, do not ever, under any circumstances, think that you are talking to me online. It is not happening.

[D]

But you messaged me and said, I need. You need money to clone your cat.

[C]

This is not a joke. I'm telling you, man. I can't believe this is still happening.

[A]

It's weird that people are continuing to get scammed with this stuff. I saw one with Keanu Reeves and some lady.

[C]

It's shocking.

[A]

And, yeah.

[C]

And, and, and the anger directed towards me is wild. But I, you know, respectfully, I'm sorry that, you know, anybody's got sucked into this, but I. There are zero exceptions. I do not ever talk to anybody online. Please, please, please believe that. Thank you.

[D]

It astounded me how long it took stores to start putting up warning signs for, like, people to, like, you know. Yes. You don't owe the IRS money. You don't have to pay it with gift cards. Like, near the.

[C]

What's going on? Yeah.

[D]

Oh, it's been going on for years. I know somebody was scammed by that.

[C]

And me too. I mean, the signs, they're actually putting signs of it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It's. It's.

[D]

But it's like. Yeah, like, why wouldn't you do that so much earlier?

[C]

I don't know. I don't know.

[D]

I know it's not going to stop people. Hopefully it stops me. People from doing it because it's just.

[B]

It.

[C]

Hopefully it's off someone. It's sad. And the people who Are who are getting sucked into it. I do feel bad for them, but, like, it's got nothing to do with me.

[A]

Yeah, it's a level of, like, you can't even begin to imagine the mindset of someone who's like, holy shit, he's talking to me.

[C]

Holy shit. He needs 200 bucks.

[A]

He needs $200 from me to, you know. Or the first lady that needed, like, you know, 13 grand because your taxes were in arrears.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it's sad. It's sad. But, like, you just so PSA on that one. There's zero exceptions. Absolutely zero exceptions. And anybody saying that's an exception is a sure fire sign that they're lying.

[A]

How come nobody ever pretended that, like, I was in love with them? Not big enough. Even during the heyday of Comic Book Men. Never. This never happened to me.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe if we had gotten that 10th season, what was it, nine seasons?

[A]

Seven.

[B]

Seven or eighth season maybe would have happened. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, well.

[D]

Is that when you hit the pinnacle, you think?

[A]

What's that?

[D]

Like, pinnacle? Popularity is when people pretend to be you online to scam people.

[A]

Yeah, Definitely never happened to me, though. There was never any. Never any scamsters.

[B]

It's weird you're saying, like, people don't even know who I am. Like, like I'm so anonymous and so, like, nobody recognizes me from tv. I have one of my TSD topics. I was not even going to use it because it's so bad, but I'll actually say it now. The other day at Chick Fil A, every worker in the entire restaurant kept calling me Pete. That's a real note that I have because the guy's like, pete, Pete, Pete.

[C]

Come on, Pete.

[B]

And I didn't know he was talking to me because he was telling me to come up and move up in line to place my order. And I'm looking around, I turn around and there's no one here. And I'm like. So I just walk up and I tell him what I want. And then someone brings over the food and they're like, have a good day, Pete.

[C]

What is going on?

[B]

I didn't tell anybody. My name's not Pete. But it was just. I thought it was weird, but.

[A]

Well, Pete's getting the fucking royal treatment. Why would you.

[B]

Right? But no one's just nice to me when I think my name's Walt, though, so I didn't correct anybody if they're.

[A]

Go buy Pete from my lawn.

[C]

Ride that Pete coattail.

[D]

You also weren't getting political text messages during the Election.

[B]

Yeah. Everybody I knew was getting hammered with political texts. I didn't get any.

[A]

Me neither.

[C]

I don't get them either. Same thing. Everybody around me gets hammered by it. I just don't get them.

[B]

I'm not, like, envious.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

My flip phone was just, like, beeping all the time. Like, who the hell is texting me? I thought it was a doctor's office. So I called him, like, no, we haven't sent you anything.

[A]

Yeah, I was thinking about. I was thinking about political shit. Like, there was that stretch where people were like, you can't use plastic straws because they pollute the environment. One got stuck in a turtle's nose. What about these fucking political signs that are made out of plastic and are fucking everywhere? And it's not just like, hey, vote for this guy. It's 50 signs in a row of vote for this guy who ended up losing.

[B]

Has anybody ever been like, oh, My God, there's 50 signs. I'm voting for that guy. He's got 50 signs.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Right? I mean, it doesn't matter how many signs. Signs you have.

[D]

Oh, there's an election going on. I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for all these signs.

[A]

Yeah, all that shit ends up in the fucking landfill. So I don't want to hear about straws anymore.

[D]

I'm the same way with the reusable plastic bags. Because, like, supposedly one of those reusable plastic bags is 120. It's supposed to be good for 125 uses.

[A]

Oh, I don't know about that. Well, you. Reusable plastic bag.

[D]

Yeah, like the. When you buy the bag at the store.

[A]

Oh, when you buy it at the store.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's better than a single use bag. But then, like, you go down the road and you see a bunch of them on the side of the road.

[C]

I just forget them at home all the time. So I end up having to get a new one every time I go to the store.

[A]

Exactly. I can't tell you how many we have because Mary Beth uses Instacart. This is really interesting to people. Yeah, I forgot.

[D]

You can't donate them, by the way.

[B]

I don't have any more Pete stores.

[C]

What's that? Pete?

[A]

Oh, well, you would be proud. We started watching Columbo, me and Mary Beth, and I was like, I don't know if she'd be into it or not. Loves it, really. Not only loves it, but was like, can we watch a Colombo? Like, when it comes time to watch.

[B]

There'S not that many.

[A]

We just finished that first season.

[B]

Yeah, there's not that many in a season.

[A]

No, it's like seven or eight episodes or so.

[B]

You haven't seen the one where he falls down the hill yet?

[A]

No, I haven't seen that. You showed that to me, though.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That is the weirdest episode of Colombo, man. Yeah.

[D]

I will say follow up if, when you're done, watch Poker Face.

[A]

I started to watch Poker Face, I couldn't get into it.

[D]

I think if you watch Columbo, you'll kind of.

[A]

You think I'll ease into it a little easier.

[D]

Yeah. Because there's a lot of Columboishness to it.

[A]

Oh, there definitely is. She even has like some of the mannerisms and shit, as I noticed. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, he cast a large shadow Colombo in 70s TV crime shows, but don't overlook. What was the one with rock Hudson?

[D]

Oh, McMillan. Wife.

[B]

McMillan and wife. Rock Hudson, please. San Francisco.

[C]

And the wife, you say?

[B]

And he can't solve any crimes, but his wife, who's just a normal housewife, has to come in on every fucking case, and she's the one that fucking solves it.

[D]

And sometimes a housekeeper.

[B]

They are like the complete opposite of Columbo, where you feel it's smart and kind of off kilter. It is like all that is sucked out of macmillan and Wife, where it just becomes like, I can't believe how bad this is. Really awesome.

[D]

It's so bad, at times she'll say, john, yeah, Nah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's cute.

[C]

Oh, yeah, she was cute.

[B]

She's always wearing a fucking San Francisco 49ers jersey.

[D]

Like Tibetan stuff.

[C]

Nice. Nice. Did you see the Wonder Woman costume sold at auction?

[B]

Linda Carter?

[C]

Yeah, Linda Carter.

[B]

Let me take a guess. You know the number.

[C]

I do, but I'll get him. Double check it. I'll know enough to say whether you're.

[B]

I'd say it goes for a million. A million?

[C]

I'm gonna say it's a million dollar costume. Let me ask something. What do you think went higher? That or I've dreamed of Jeannie, personally.

[B]

If it was. If it was. If I was at the auction, which I would bid on, I'd been on the Wonder Woman. I think that's a little bit more iconic than I Dream of Jean. I think every day I dream of Genie loses a little bit more in the pop culture zeitgeist. But Wonder Woman is going to be here forever.

[C]

Going to be here forever. Okay, well, let me ask you this. What's Going to get more money. Fonzie's jacket or Wonder Woman?

[B]

Fonzie's jacket. I don't know. That's just my guess.

[C]

Get him. Pull up the numbers. 225k for one of those.

[B]

That's a steal. You could have had that.

[C]

That's a steal.

[B]

You could have had that, Right?

[C]

Not if I'm retiring.

[B]

And Vonzie's only reached 87.

[C]

87. Yeah. These seem like. I think there's two of them.

[D]

Yeah, no, there was two of them.

[C]

This is the same website I saw. No, this isn't. This isn't. Actually. I saw the actual auction website.

[A]

Adam West. Wait, hold on. Go back.

[C]

Adam west was a while ago, though. Wasn't.

[A]

Well, maybe those were.

[B]

Oh, is that a mannequin? That's got Wonder Woman's costume on?

[D]

I think it was a model.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Look at that fucking one.

[B]

Are those Ralph garments, those costumes that. He put them up for auction.

[C]

Oh, he.

[B]

Oh, no. From the Berkowitz Collection. David Berkowitz. Son of Sam. Fucking collected Batman.

[A]

Shit. Holy shit.

[C]

He really was like us. Yeah.

[A]

Was it say, 575,000 for award half a million.

[D]

Cesar Ramirez, joker. Sold for 212,000.

[C]

That's the one I would have wanted.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, that's the one I would have went for. Yeah.

[B]

You know that, like, it's an investment, though. You'd probably make your money.

[C]

You could buy it and reasonably expect to not lose money on it. That's for sure. Yeah, I agree. But you can do with it, like.

[A]

Put it on a mannequin.

[C]

Just, like, wear it.

[B]

Make sure it fucking is in.

[D]

Unlike Kim Kardashian, you put it somewhere where? No, she wore Marilyn Monroe dress. Dress.

[C]

Oh, well, yeah, but destroyed it. No, she didn't destroy it.

[B]

Yeah, she did. She did. Oh, because. Because of all the body sweat and oils in your body, it just.

[D]

Plus, it wasn't designed for her body.

[C]

Size, but they lent it to her.

[D]

So who's the fool, everyone's saying, the people who lent it.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Fuck, man. That Joker one looks cool, though.

[B]

Does Fonzie's jacket, isn't.

[A]

Yeah, he looks great.

[B]

And I don't know. I don't. I always thought it was black until I got High Def tv.

[A]

It looks brownish, right?

[B]

Yeah, it's very brown.

[C]

Look at him. Look at that.

[A]

Cool.

[C]

Cool guy.

[A]

So cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, boy. Some people didn't listen to me for Halloween. Oh, no. I try to tell them, but they don't want to Listen, what do we got? We have. There was a Nazi costumed man. He looked like he was in his early 20s and he was outside a club.

[C]

I think we talked about this already. Then some woman, like, go after him.

[A]

Yeah, some lady hit him.

[C]

You told me this. I don't know whether this was on.

[A]

The air or whatever. Oh, yeah, because this happened after.

[C]

I think we had this conversation over here. You're like, who the fuck is wearing a Nazi costume?

[A]

This guy.

[C]

Like, what kind of an idiot is, like, out there doing it?

[A]

Yeah, it was in Athens, Ohio. And he ended up because, I guess some girl was giving him a bunch of shit, and he ended up hitting her. And then he went to jail.

[C]

Oh, my God, What a fucking dope. What is with people, man?

[A]

Julia Fox shocks with blood soaked Jackie Kennedy Halloween costume. So she dressed up like Jackie Kennedy and was soaked in Kennedy's blood? I guess.

[C]

I mean, hey, man, then I have.

[A]

Another one here for Instagram. I don't have Instagram. My iPad. So let me look this up real fast.

[D]

Coley Coken dressed up as a toilet.

[C]

All right, there you go. That's nice and safe.

[A]

Who was this? There was another one, but I don't see another. Oh, this is the one that I texted. Get him about. Kendall Jenner faces backlash for sexualizing the kids. The Toy Story kids movie.

[C]

Oh, come on, man. That costume's been out there for years.

[A]

Look at that. That's hardly anything, right?

[B]

We were at a con, and we saw way worse than that.

[A]

Yeah, that was the one that.

[B]

It was just, like, blue dental floss for the shorts.

[C]

Yeah, that's been out there for years.

[A]

Well, I think get him was saying they weren't exactly slim, Right? They didn't.

[C]

Well, no, no, we get to the real crime.

[D]

No, no, it was. It was the fact that they were sexualizing a children's character at a con that had children.

[C]

Children that I understand.

[D]

Yeah, that was my big offense to it. Like, there was an adults area that they should have been staying in.

[C]

Yeah. Unfortunately, like, cons back when we were youngsters weren't for kids. It was for lonely people like us.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you get away with booth babes and stuff like that, but as the culture changes and kids are, like, got into this stuff, I. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm like, yeah, maybe you shouldn't have, like, your ass hanging out in front of kids, walking around.

[A]

I thought that the first con I ever went to was down in Miami with. With Ming and Mike. And there was A woman there who just had body painting on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was good body painting, but I still felt like, yeah, there's, like, a lot of kids around.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, and this would have been 2015 somewhere in there, which is different from.

[C]

Like, Key west, where there are people walking around completely naked, wearing nothing but body paint. And you look at the people who. Bringing their kids around, and you're like, well, hold on, man. You shouldn't. Like, then I feel it falls on the parents because you're like, this place is fucking famous for it, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, why are you bringing.

[A]

Especially this. These 10 days out of any 10 days of the year, why are you.

[C]

Bringing your kids down here? Yeah, I kind of. Judgment goes in the other direction, but at cons.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm kind of like, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's the Nazi guy. What a. Fuck this arm band on. Yeah. Like, what?

[B]

You're so desperate for attention. You're so desperate to be the lightning rod.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's all it comes down to.

[A]

You just don't care.

[C]

But he's young. How old is this guy?

[A]

Kid? He looks pretty young. He looks like he's in his early 20s.

[C]

Just do stupid. Like, your brain's not even fully formed until you're, like, in your mid-20s. So it's like, what a.

[A]

These are the decisions he's making.

[C]

But this seems like one that you should very clearly be like, n Even.

[A]

Oh, no, he's actually older. Yeah, he's 33.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You should really know by then.

[C]

Come on, dude. Like, what are you doing? But, hey, what are you gonna do?

[A]

Yeah. See, people are handling him, manhandling him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, you know, I get it. This is. I'm gonna pull out the volcano tonight.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I can't deal with this anymore. This world is too much for me.

[A]

There was also an offensive float.

[C]

Oh, do go on.

[A]

Hold on. Let me just pull it up here. It was a Harrisburg Church apologizes for Grade School Halloween float displaying Auschwitz gates. Phrase.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Pennsylvania diocese has apologized for a shocking grade school Halloween parade float that displayed a replica of the Auschwitz concentration camp gate.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm gonna pull that up again. Oh, there it is.

[C]

Looks like a lot of fucking work went into that too. There was a lot of opportunities for someone to be like, we shouldn't do this. Yeah.

[A]

As they hooked it up to the truck, as they assembled it. Yeah.

[C]

I wouldn't even. I wouldn't. Wouldn't have even gone with the shape of it, let alone, like, the words.

[B]

So that's German. And what's that word mean, though?

[A]

Work will make you free. That's what that. Arpeit mach frei.

[C]

That is very true.

[B]

That's somebody. I bet you a lot of people working that didn't even know it probably, and were probably, like, shocked when they're like, oh, my God, that's what it. That's what it's from. I bet you there was some fucking maniac who was like, I know what I'll write. And then the other people who worked on it were like, that's Latin. What's that Latin for? Happy Halloween.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Then like on the. On the.

[D]

Then they blame AI on the float.

[A]

There's a bunch of carved pumpkins on it. Like, I guess.

[C]

Yeah. Like, the rest of it is pretty down the line. Halloween stuff and then. That's crazy. Oh, boys.

[A]

What's up?

[C]

I got invited to be part of. Of a roast.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Roast of New Jersey.

[A]

New Jersey?

[C]

Yeah, at the Count Basie Theater there. Somebody's putting together a roast of New Jersey and I've been asked to take part in it.

[A]

Oh, we gotta go, right? Well, we gotta fucking heckle this guy.

[C]

I haven't said yes yet.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

But I was gonna run it by you guys. I was like. Because the jokes just started in my head right away. I was like, oh, yeah. Kind of gotta do it, right?

[A]

You gotta.

[C]

Gotta do it. All right, I'll start working on my material.

[D]

Is your biggest problem with New Jersey a shared border?

[C]

No, I, you know, I think that, you know, I've taken a lot of shit from you guys over the years, and this is gonna be. You guys aren't gonna have the mic. I am gonna have the mic.

[A]

Public forum.

[C]

Yeah. Address several things that you guys have brought up to me over the years. I'm pretty excited. Pretty excited. I don't know the details yet. I just read the email or whatever, but yeah, so that's. I'll keep you updated as that goes along.

[A]

All right. Yeah, that I would love to see.

[C]

Yeah, right on.

[B]

All right. Should I say tell him, Steve, Dave. Or is there anything. I mean. Or what's your status? When. When will we know? When do you think we'll know what's going on with you health wise?

[D]

MRIs next week, and then I gotta wait for the results from that, so. And hear from my doctor.

[B]

Mm. Okay.

[A]

So, yeah, if you saw he's fucking.

[B]

So he goes, you think I can get a ride for my MRI because I'm not allowed to drive. And of course he gets it at earliest appointment. Possible. Of course, it's got to be 7:00am 5:30.

[D]

The nurse. I mean, the doctor said stat.

[B]

But, you know, if it's a week.

[A]

Another couple hours, doesn't matter.

[B]

11 could be fine enough.

[C]

Processing the results immediately, just so rude.

[B]

Well, I said I would do it. So, yeah, I gotta. I gotta bite the bullet and get up early. But it's kind of like, you know, what if we're late? You know, they'll still take. You know, they're not gonna be like, go home.

[C]

What's up with Uber?

[B]

It's so awful, though, because, you know, you're going in, you're kind of scared. He's got. Got. He's got to take what you got to take. Quds.

[D]

Xanax.

[A]

He's got to take Xanax. Yeah.

[B]

You know, then you got to do it. You have nobody. You got nobody there for emotional support. And I feel like he needs some emotional support.

[C]

And you, you're the one.

[D]

Driver might.

[C]

Do a better job.

[D]

Yeah, they want five stars.

[B]

They're just doing it for a tip. I'm not getting a tip.

[C]

Can you record it? Set up a GoPro in the car for the ride.

[D]

What happened? The MRI sucked a GoPro into the room.

[B]

When do you take. I take your. In your Quaaludes.

[D]

They gave me enough to take one to test. To take a test. 1.

[B]

When you're gonna take the test one.

[D]

Probably like Sunday door in football.

[B]

So then you could, like, stare at your hand and be like, whoa, bro, there's cosmos in there.

[A]

Nobody knows. Go Cowboys.

[D]

Oh, they're not playing this week. They got a bye week.

[B]

So you're gonna take a test run with the Quaaludes?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And. And what? How will you. How will you deem them like this is successful or unsuccessful? What has to happen?

[D]

Well, I want to know what they feel like when I take them. And, like, you know, you're gonna fall asleep. Oh, okay. Well, then, okay, if you'd like to.

[B]

Rip your clothes off and start wandering around nodding off.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he started. Ripped his clothes off.

[B]

Rips his clothes off and just starts wandering, parading around the airport plaza, proclaiming.

[D]

Like, he's, I eat a baby.

[A]

He's the king of the plaza.

[D]

I eat a baby. For Trendy's topic, he gets a hamburger.

[C]

It's like in a Halloween one when they're driving up to pick up Michael Myers and there's just people wandering around right in the rain and Gotta be careful, man.

[B]

I think they're like, I think Quaaludes are like bath salts and shit. So you don't want to be. You know, maybe we should strap you down when you take it so I.

[D]

Don'T go and eat Ron's face.

[B]

I'll bring in a couple belts and we'll. We'll belt you to the fucking chair.

[C]

I won't freak out.

[D]

Just like the mri.

[B]

I'm good now. You can let me out. I'm a few feeling pretty good.

[A]

He's like the guy in the thing. Yeah.

[B]

You couldn't help me?

[C]

You couldn't get, like, Jimmy the hair guy to do this for you? You gotta bother poor Walt?

[B]

Nah, I'm doing it. I'll do it.

[A]

Where is it? Where's your office?

[D]

You know, where the Toys R Us used to be in Eatontown?

[B]

Yes. Jeff goes.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Jeff goes, I think I'm working.

[D]

He literally works a mile away. And I'm like, you can take a lunch break in New York City half a mile away. Yeah.

[C]

Are you guys going to Jimmy's wedding?

[A]

I am, yeah.

[C]

Yeah, you're going?

[B]

I don't think I'm going. I have a lot of anxiety about gatherings and stuff. Tell them, Steve.

[A]

Dave.