#659: Walt the Pugilist

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #659: Walt the Pugilist (Nov 23, 2025)

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Episode Overview

In episode #659, "Walt the Pugilist," the Tell 'Em Steve-Dave crew—Bryan Johnson (C), Walt Flanagan (B), and Brian "Q" Quinn (A)—delve into themes of schoolyard violence, the pressures and changes brought by adulthood, and plenty of their signature banter. The episode kicks off with banter about Walt's secret past as a high school fighter, segues through tales of Christmas specials, old pranks, and even sports betting scandals, before wrapping with lighthearted self-reflection on aging and wardrobe choices.

The tone alternates between irreverent, introspective, and hilariously offbeat, delivering both nostalgia and sharp social commentary.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Walt's Schoolyard Brawl: The Pugilist Revealed

[23:16–29:02, 32:00+]

• Walt’s hidden past surfaces: in high school, he got into a memorable fight over a girl, breaking a guy’s nose so badly the victim had lifetime breathing problems and didn’t return to school afterward.
• Despite Walt "winning" the fight, the girl stayed with her boyfriend and even attacked Walt mid-fight ("She jumped on my back...gouged into my ear and ripped out all the...skin" – B, [21:18]).
• Walt reflects more on the emotional impact than the physical:

  "To me, I'll never forget, though, it was more. Not the physical toll. It was the emotional toll of being like, holy shit. A lot of people don't like me." – B, [25:46]

• The crowd rooted against Walt:

  "I'd say 45 of those people were like, kick his ass. Kick his ass. And they were talking to the other guy. They wanted me to get fucking beat up." – B, [23:31]

• Fight aftermath: Walt faced school threats of expulsion, severe shoulder injuries, and a sense of outsider status even after "winning."
• Reflecting on adulthood, the crew jokes (with truth) that fights now would leave them physically wrecked—“I hit the ground, my shoulder would turn to dust” (A, [00:43]/[34:52]).

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2. Christmas Special Extravaganza & Community Camaraderie

[02:55–09:52]

• The legendary Tell 'Em Steve-Dave Christmas special is complete and longer than ever—potentially 7–8 hours, with 18 contestants and the first-ever inclusion of female participants.
• 100% of Bandcamp sales from the special will benefit two families battling cancer, underlining the community’s charitable side.
• The guys praise the friendly, patient attitude of their crew and contributors, specifically Jimmy the Hair Guy:

  "Just as friendly and as helpful and, like, I want to be a part of it as...they all were." – A, [06:49]

• Camaraderie and good vibes are highlighted, with participants enduring marathon tapings without complaint.

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3. Old-School Hazing and Pranks: Dark Humor and Cultural Critique

[11:29–18:45]

• In discussing a horrifying real-life “prank” involving industrial hoses, the hosts reflect on hazing culture past and present.
• Nostalgia meets critique amid tales of the "pickle walk" (initiation requiring a student to walk while holding a pickle between their cheeks):

  “Like, why do you want to bend someone over and put things up their ass unless there's a sexual element to it?” – A, [15:01]

• The group discusses the gendered dynamics of high school, theorizing that the presence of girls inspired more performative (and sometimes cruel) antics among boys.
• Bryan observes that physical dominance and hazing don’t actually impress most girls, despite teenage male assumptions.

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4. Sports Betting Scandals and the Dark Side of Modern Athletics

[43:48–51:39]

• Walt brings up a recent, underreported sports gambling scandal involving pro athletes shaving points—expressing outrage at media suppression and corporate influence.
• The guys rail against the normalization of sports betting ads and sponsorships:

  “The reason that happened is because the leagues got in business with the...they should have never allowed sports betting to get involved with professional sports.” – A, [46:02]

• They connect the topic to recent news, including the Shohei Ohtani interpreter’s $17 million gambling theft scandal ([50:07]).

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5. Aging, Health, and Wardrobe Existentialism

[52:22–62:43]

• Bryan shares urology woes and new dedication to hydration, admitting,

  “I was aware I wasn't drinking water.” – C, [52:43]

• Q floats the idea of overhauling his wardrobe for turning 50:

  "It might be time to, like, totally throw out my wardrobe and get a more refined older person's wardrobe." – A, [57:01]

• Walt and Bryan jest about comfort trumping fashion:

  “Jeans feel like a denim straight jacket to me." – B, [61:37]

• They riff on hat styles for aging men—fedoras, flat caps, even summer Stetsons.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

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• “I hit the ground, my shoulder would turn to dust. I'd be like, wow. Parlay.” – A, ([00:43], also reprised at [34:52])
• “To me, I'll never forget, though, it was more. Not the physical toll. It was the emotional toll of being like, holy shit. A lot of people don't like me.” – B, [25:46]
• “Why do you want to bend someone over and put things up their ass unless there's a sexual element to it?” – A, [15:01]
• “I'd say 45 of those people were like, kick his ass...They wanted me to get fucking beat up.” – B, [23:31]
• “If somebody slapped me in the face today, I probably wouldn't let it slide. I don't think enough of the old Q's gone that I would just be like, 'Good day, sir,' and walk out.” – A, [33:39]
• “Let me tell you, you ain't smelled anything til you smelled salmon gas...it'll put hair on your chest.” – B, [37:10]
• “Jeans feel like a denim straight jacket to me.” – B, [61:37]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:55-09:52] – Christmas Special announcement, behind-the-scenes, and community spirit.
• [11:29-18:45] – Prank/hazing discussion, pickle stories, and gender/social critique.
• [23:16-29:02, 32:00+] – Walt’s high school fight and its consequences.
• [43:48-51:39] – Betting scandals in pro sports, Ohtani interpreter story.
• [52:22-62:43] – Aging, health, clothes, and fashion insecurity.

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Tone and Style

• Language: Raw, candid, often laced with dry or dark humor.
• Chemistry: Banter-driven, with frequent callbacks, teasing, and supportive asides.
• Content: Uncensored and occasionally blue, but peppered with genuine introspection.

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Summary

"Walt the Pugilist" is emblematic of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave’s unique blend of storytelling, irreverence, and surprising depth. The episode is by turns bleakly funny and heartfelt, mining the past for both laughs and hard truths about growing up, fitting in, and getting old. For lifelong listeners and new fans alike, it’s a quintessential dive into the TESD universe—equal parts punchline and punch-up.

Transcript

[A]

You broke his nose that bad?

[B]

It was pretty bad.

[A]

And this is the first time we're hearing about this.

[C]

It's awful. It's awful.

[A]

Sounds. Sounds up my alley today.

[C]

Yeah. It.

[A]

I hit the ground, my shoulder would turn to dust. I'd be like, wow. Parlay.

[C]

Parlay.

[B]

Tell him, Steve Dave.

[C]

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve Dave. I've got a sick Walt Flanagan.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

I've got a perturbed. I've got a perturbed bq.

[A]

It's one thing after another over here today.

[C]

What is this show gonna be like?

[A]

I don't. But aren't. I thought Walt was getting sick at the Christmas thing. I heard his voice. I was like, well, we're all gonna be sick for Thanksgiving.

[C]

How are you feeling?

[A]

I'm so angry right now that it's overriding every fucking. Yeah, so don't worry about me.

[C]

All right, well, let's get going then, because I know Q is limited time. Walt, your lines are playing today. So we're recording early on a Sunday morning, 11:45 on a Sunday, so Walt can get to his game by one.

[B]

Yeah, they start at like, one.

[C]

Okay. All right. That's our goal today, Q. I. As sick as Walt is, I should take more pages out of Walt Flanagan's book. I went to the doctor the other day. Well, first, let's do some housekeeping. Thanksgiving again. No Black Friday here.

[B]

No Black Friday at the general store.

[C]

At the general store.

[B]

But we will have Black Friday merch dropping midnight on Thursday. Brand new ball cap, trucker hat. It's beautiful.

[C]

Pretty sweet. I like it.

[B]

It's going to go on sale at midnight on Thanksgiving. And also. Also. Excuse me. 40% off all other merch from Thursday at midnight till Sunday midnight. So pretty sweet promotion where you could pick up some items at a real big deal. Big, steep discounts. 40% off. Nothing to sneeze at.

[C]

No, definitely not. So Christmas is done. That's the other thing. Well, not done. Well, not for you. Recorded. It's recorded.

[A]

There's a difference.

[B]

It's going to probably clock in as maybe the longest episode ever.

[C]

That's what I was thinking today. I think Space Monkey Saved Christmas hold the record so far for Christmas episodes.

[B]

But do you remember how long that.

[C]

I think it was? Like four something hours. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

This is going to blow it out of the water. This might be 7 to 8 hours long. 18 contestants. The fight for women's suffrage to participate in TSD town events is finally over as we finally welcome female Contestants.

[A]

Wait, this is the first time.

[B]

It's 2025 in TSD town.

[A]

You know, I love it.

[B]

The gals finally get a seat at the table.

[C]

We're progressive over here.

[A]

Not for not, but one of my favorite one true. Three stories of the whole thing belonged to one of those. I mean, literally blew my mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So great.

[B]

There's controversial stories, scandalous stories, sultry stories, and of course, head scratching stories. But all have one thing in common. They're all Christmas or Hanukkah stories. And it's going to drop on Tuesday, December 23rd on Patreon and Bandcamp. And 100% of the Bandcamp sales go to help 2Ant families this year who are dealing with cancer in their family. So it'll be a two parter on band Camp. I think it'll be one. Just one large episode on Patreon, though.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't imagine we'll have to split it up. And part one will cost 4.99 and part two will cost 4.99. So the. It'll be an even split for those two families.

[C]

All right. Christmas time. Christmas time in cancer, they go together hand in hand.

[A]

They always have.

[C]

They always have. Right. That's what people think when they think Christmas.

[A]

What do you think of when you think of Christmas?

[C]

I think of pressure. That's what I think of. Yeah. Like I gotta buy people stuff, I gotta think of stuff for people, gotta go to people's houses. It's a whole lot of it's cold outside, miserable. But I feel like somebody at this table thinks the opposite though. You're a big Christmas guy, right?

[B]

I used to be.

[C]

Oh, you're not anymore? Oh, no.

[B]

With the advent of the Tum C Dave Christmas special and the pressure. You talk about pressure. The pressures of that have made it so I kind of dread this time of year. But I will say it is an awesome feeling to have the. Have it in the can and that weight off your shoulders of like, okay, all we got to do is edit a fucking nine to ten hour show and whittle it down to any, you know, to a manageable episode. But though that's the easy part, the hard part is the pressure of make, you know, will everybody be able to come? You know, will it all work out? Will there be any technical issues?

[C]

There's a lot of.

[B]

Moving parts.

[C]

A lot of moving parts to this. Yeah. Like, and to get everybody's schedules to coincide so they can all come at the same time. That's no small feat.

[B]

No, we got it.

[C]

We Got.

[B]

I mean, it is cool, though. Like, everybody that was involved and even. And the people who weren't involved who couldn't make it that night, though. We do got a pretty killer crew in terms of, like, just friendly, cool people, though. You know, they sat around and waited for hours for. Till it was their turn. Never once bitched, never once were like.

[C]

And you're talking hours, like, five hours.

[B]

They're good people, all of them.

[A]

And I was thinking about, like. Like, Chuck sat in the hallway for, like, six hours, smile on his face. You know what I mean? Like, just as friendly and as helpful and, like, I want to. I want to be a part of it as. As they all were. And I'm using Chuck's name, but that's literally every person that was on the show was like, whatever, man. This is fun. It was. It was cool.

[B]

Yeah. There's nobody that comes in and makes it hard, right? Like, nobody. Nobody makes it hard. Everybody kind of wants to make it as a fun event as possible, and that's a very much appreciative.

[A]

Yeah, that's for sure, man.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So I told. I was so happy with Jimmy the Hair Guy and his performance that I gave him the official Q West nod the other day.

[C]

I saw that as he was leaving. I saw the nod, and I saw Jimmy brighten up.

[A]

Yeah, I was like, this Jimmy the Hair Guy. I like Jimmy the Hair Guy. I play. You know, I play like, he's a little bit. Like, I don't. But I really. I really do like the guy. And after. After having his contributions and overwhelmingly positive and fun to be around all the time, I thought, this is a good guy to hang out with. And I honestly, I always knew he was going to come.

[C]

We.

[A]

I was just holding him over the barrel a little bit. But yesterday, I was like, nah, I gotta let this guy in.

[B]

I got.

[A]

I gotta let him. Let him. Let him come. Which, by the way, you know, I'll be lucky to have him there, not the other way around.

[C]

Jimmy the Hair Guy brings something every time he comes.

[A]

He sure does.

[C]

Yeah. Jimmy the Hair Guy. I was. I was thinking about him. Walt, you might be more able to answer this. Is Jimmy the Hair Guy overexposed? I see that he's doing. Reviewing history stuff. He's on their patreon. He's at these Juggalo meets.

[B]

I mean, those people who are, you know, getting him on their shows, you know, they see the. The talent that is a Jimmy the Hair Guy. They see that. You know, they wanted. They wanted some of that for their.

[C]

Want some of that magic for them?

[B]

Yep. It's understandable.

[C]

Sure. But does Jimmy the hair guy owe us anything for discovering him after he bought that hair?

[B]

I guess it is kind of like if he doesn't buy that hair, that I don't think he becomes friends with any of the guys in tsd.

[C]

No. That was a small price to pay for Jimmy the hair guy to get the new circle of friends that he has, even though they use him as a punching bag. From what I understand, he's on a group chat and everybody makes fun of him. Poor Jimmy the hair guy. Chuckling.

[A]

I think Jimmy's one of those guys, though, that the jokes on everybody else. Oh, yeah, you know, Yeah, I think so. I think, like, you look like, you know, you're ripping on Jimmy, but you're just flapping your gums, you know, Jimmy's out there making things happen.

[C]

He's getting married. He's every. If you. Do you follow him on Instagram, by any chance?

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

You don't really use social media if you follow him on Instagram. This dude is everywhere. He's at every con. He's at every Juggalo meet. He's going to cemeteries to see dead people. I mean, this guy's on the move.

[A]

Which is weird because I thought he was saving up for a wedding. Wasn't the whole thing, like, he has to save money?

[C]

That's what everybody says, but yet he continues to travel and do all these things. Yeah, I think his wedding might be taking place at a courthouse now.

[A]

Oh, yeah. The freest of free.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I'm going to that wedding.

[C]

You gonna go?

[A]

I'm gonna go to that wedding. How could I miss that? That's gonna be the tell him, Steve Dave social event of the season.

[C]

Well, I know some people who aren't going.

[B]

I'm sick.

[C]

Walt's not feeling too well. It's only in another eight months. Who knows what's gonna happen between then.

[B]

And now if I.

[C]

Not your thing, really?

[B]

No, it's not.

[C]

Those kind of gatherings are not your thing. It's understandable. Q. Yeah, I know. At times I've suggested things for ij. Little bits. I used to suggest them to Casey. He never bit. He never liked any of them. I think I found a new one that's fail safe, though.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Now, it does run a risk of death, which isn't good for the show, but I just Read this article. Boy, 15, dies after CO workers insert high pressure hose up his rectum in horrific quote unquote prank.

[A]

We had a bit where we put something inside of Murray and he had to give a talk while it was vibrating and whatnot to pull back the curtain a little bit. You know, we. We have faith in each other, right? Like, we. We will go along with things that we don't necessarily see. And that one, I was just like, I don't get this one. Like, I don't. I think this one's weird. I find there's a couple of them in there that I'm like, I don't know about.

[C]

This one, like, looking back.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that was one of them that I was like, I don't know about this one, but I. But, you know, you get to that place where you're like, all right, I guess, like, let's try it, you know, let's see how it goes. And it came out funny. So I guess, you know, I definitely was wrong about that. This one I might have to put my foot down on and be like, I don't think we should blow up his anus like a balloon, usually.

[C]

Yeah. It usually means that you have to hold the person down and they're unwilling to get this because it's not the first time it's happened. In 2017, a 17 year old car wash worker died after colleagues blasted a high pressure air hose up his anus, causing his intestines to explode. People who did that got convicted of raping and killing the boy sentenced to more than 12 years in prison. But, like, what? I don't know. Like, I was, you know, I was 17 at one time. Walt. You were 17? Do you ever think of jamming a high pressure hose up your friend's ass and just letting the water flow?

[B]

I can't say that I. That it ever crossed my mind. I didn't have access to any high pressure hoses though, so possibly if I did, I might have been like, I.

[C]

Got a good idea. Who would have been your target? Hartsgrove, the guy with the crutches?

[B]

You know, maybe. I mean, like, if I was defending them, if I was their lawyer, the guys who did this, I would be like, my clients didn't know the damage it would do. You know, they're not experts. They don't know what kind of pressure they thought this was going to be. Like, maybe the pressure of a water pick, you know, not.

[C]

They didn't think it would explode his intestines.

[B]

It's. I can't imagine that they. They thought that would be the outcome though, right? They thought it was just gonna be like a horn, like, you know, Like a college prank, man. Like, you know, remember how when we were young, man, remember they used to put pickles in kids butts and make.

[A]

Them, make them walk.

[C]

Right. Well, so I heard anyway. Yeah, yeah. That was the initiation cue. Do you remember that? The pickle walk.

[A]

I remember it. Kevin put it in one of his movies. Is the only time I ever really heard about it, you guys. That was true. We talked about this.

[C]

Well, it was, yeah. I mean, I never witnessed it firsthand, but yes, it was initiation into high school where you would put a pickle in your ass and you would walk a certain distance and if the pickle fell out, you had to take a bite and put it back in.

[A]

I went to an all boys school and we didn't have anything nearly that gay.

[B]

Well, you know, go ahead.

[A]

Like why do you want to bend someone over and put things up their ass unless there's a sexual element to it.

[C]

I was thinking the same thing about these high pressure hose things. It's like to take your friend to rip his pants off because they were holding him down. Tear his pants off, tear off his underwear, spread his ass cheeks, get that hose in there. It's all very gay. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But you know, if you recall, I.

[A]

Mean, rapey and gay. It's like, it's a terrible meeting.

[B]

If you recall. I've never eaten a pickle. So it was going to be like a double whammy for me if I had ever gotten caught by the, by the older kids. So I would always, I would always have a banana on me to see if I. If they would let me swap out the banana for a pickle.

[A]

Can you even get a banana up your ass or is it too mushy?

[B]

Well, no, no, I don't think it went in like you're thinking. I think you just had to hold.

[C]

It like between your cheeks.

[B]

Between your cheeks. I don't think they were actually worried so much about how far it went up or anything.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. It wasn't as weird as you're making it out to be or Brian's making it out to be. It was just kind of.

[C]

Well, not that weird.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it is less weird knowing that they're not inserting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so it was just like a butt cheek hold?

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Oh, that's. I see.

[B]

Changes it, doesn't it? A little bit now.

[A]

It does change a little bit. It's a. It's not great and I still wouldn't take part in it, but at least it's not like. Well, that person's gonna murder someone one day because they're so fucking mentally deranged that they're shoving pickles up buttholes.

[C]

Did you have, what, you went to all boys school? Was there any initiations that you recall, like, from.

[A]

Nah, we were pretty. It was like, maybe it's something to do with girls in the school building, but, like, for the most part, I mean, there was some, like, typical high school bullying. Like, just normal shit, I guess that goes. There's a hierarchy, I should say for sure, but for the most part, everybody just kind of, like, was cool. Like, the absence of women, I always thought was, like, very, like, helpful because it was like, let's just fuck. Everybody's just chilling out, having a good time for the most part.

[B]

So you think the addition of women, some guys will be like, you know what? I know I can press Susie. Let's go grab that guy and stick a pickle in his ass?

[A]

Yeah, I do. Really?

[B]

You think? And girls will be like, oh, my God, look at, look at Chad over there.

[A]

Well, I love it this way.

[B]

He's so cute. And look at the way he shoved that pickle up that dorks anus.

[A]

No, I do. I don't think it'll get that detailed.

[B]

Out this weekend.

[A]

But I do think, like, there's a definite line in the sand between the people with the pickle in their ass and the people without the pickle in their ass.

[B]

Oh, yes, yes.

[A]

And the girls don't want to date the guys with the pickles in their ass.

[B]

No, that's hard to. It's hard to, like, forget about that image. If you're. If you're going to the drive in movie and he. And he kind of does the stretch to kind of like, yawn to put his arm up. The whole time you're thinking like, yeah, where does that hand. That hand actually took a pickle out of his own ass in front of the whole school.

[A]

Do you want to kiss a guy who fucking has a shitty pickle and, like a shitty bagel? So I do think, like, there is an element of. Of control and dominance in that situation.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. You know, to this day, when I. When I hear. Whenever I hear anybody talk about pickleball, it kind of makes. I always think of, like, the pickle in the ass. Every single time I hear the word pickleball, I'm like, that's what we should have called it back in the 70s, pickleball.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's it. We. That's why, that's why I think we didn't have stuff like that.

[C]

Right?

[A]

We. I used to see fights get resolved. Like they'd be like, we're meeting at the fucking smokestack of the train station at 2:30. We're going to fight, blah, blah, blah. And like, there would be a big crowd and stuff like that. And then that, like, they would talk it out. I've seen it get talked out and resolved. You know, like somebody. I don't know if that happens if there are girls watching.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they could let down their guard. Yeah, correct.

[A]

Yeah. Whereas with guys. So somebody in the crowd would be like, come on, what are you fucking twice the size of this guy? I remember saying that to. And then it's. It's, oh, well, he fucking did this. And then it talked. I mean, I saw plenty of fights, but I've never seen a movie where a fight gets resolved by chatting in the middle of a bunch of screaming teenagers. But I saw it in real life.

[C]

Yeah. Very rarely is that the trope in movies.

[A]

Right? Yeah. Somebody, somebody, somebody sticks up for somebody. And then a discussion ensued. It's like how back in the day they used to do duels with, you know, flint and muscular. You know, they would fire the 10 paces and then turn around and shoot. They would bring a second, right? Because before they actually shot each other, the seconds would go to the side and be like, hey, man, do we really got to do this shit or can we fucking just, you know? So it was kind of like that in a way. You know, it's like, look, if I have to shoot you, I will. But why don't we have our boys go over there and talk it out a little bit first, right? If there's a. If there's a beautiful woman there with a parasol, you know what I mean, and a beautiful frilly dress and she's watching. I. One of those guys is like, I'm going to fucking show this girl that I can kill now.

[B]

Do you think girls back in high school were, I don't say the word impressed, but were they? Were they. Was that a way to court a girl? Was like, okay, I'm gonna beat this guy up.

[A]

I don't know. I have no experience with high school girls.

[C]

I'll bet you there were certain girls that were like, all right, he's like a tough alpha male. He kicks ass. So. Yeah, but usually the guy that kicks ass was a jerk off.

[B]

Yeah, I remember that. The one fight I got into in high school in my senior year, it was over a girl. And I did pretty well in the fight. And the girl went and stayed with the guy who, you know, that kind of took it on the chin. I didn't get the girl.

[C]

That's not a trope.

[B]

She actually attacked me during the fight. I'm not kidding around. She jumped on my back in the middle of the fight. She jumped on my back. It took her. It took her fingers and gouged him into my ear and ripped out all the. Like, took a big chunk of the inside of my ear with her long finger.

[A]

What the fuck was this fight about?

[B]

I was in gym. We were in my senior year, and we had co head gym class and this girl. We were. We were doing gymnastics. It was gymnastic week. So they had all the equipment out. The horse, the rings, the parallel bars. And we all had to do, like, a different. You had to go check off your little piece of paper how many things you did on the horse or whatever. And so it was me and this other guy. And this girl came over, and she was definitely flirting, and her boyfriend took notice of it. And then later on at the. Later on that afternoon at the basketball court, he was like. He wanted a. He wanted a piece of retribution.

[C]

You hadn't really done anything.

[B]

Well, I mean. I mean, I guess so. I guess. I mean, yeah, but. But it. It was. At the end of the day, though, it was a. It was a pretty bad fight. But they actually. They did get married, actually. I heard he died. He's dead now.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, he is.

[A]

You won in the end, my friend.

[C]

Yeah, long term. Maybe in the short term, your ear got gouged a little bit.

[B]

But yeah, I'd heard that the fallout of that fight was a lifetime of issues with breathing issues for that guy, really, because he had. Nose was broken so bad that it was a lifetime of, like, problems with his nasal passages and everything.

[A]

You broke his nose that bad?

[B]

It was pretty bad.

[A]

And this is the first time we're hearing about this.

[C]

The pugilist, Paul Flanagan.

[A]

Are we playing One True three right now?

[B]

It happened. It was in front of a whole bunch of people. I told this story because it really shocked me because there's, like, about 50 people there at the basketball court, and I'd say 45 of those people were like, kick his ass. Kick his ass. And they were talking to the other guy. They wanted me to. They wanted me to get fucking beat up. I had, like, three people there who were rooting for me. It really showed. It really kind of showed their cards. And I was just like, wait a second.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And she jumped on Your back, huh?

[B]

Yeah. She came out of nowhere. I guess she heard that we were fighting and she came over. I remember she was like. She let out a banshee cry. Like, not even a real. Like, words, just like this guttural scream, and jumped on my back. I was exhausted at that point, too. I was exhausted because I'd, like, the adrenaline kind of had worn off, and so, like, I was. I was kind of crashing a little bit, and she jumped on my back. I didn't do anything. I just let her just rip. Rip the. Like, the skin right out of my ear.

[A]

Jesus, man.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't even throw her off.

[A]

And nobody did. The crowd didn't instantly turn on the other guy for having his. His girl come?

[B]

Nope. I mean, I don't want. At a certain point, he was very. He was pretty messed up. And he turned to one guy and he was like. He goes. He goes, should I. He looked at one of the guys and was like, what should he do? And he was like, you know, like. And he was like, no, you got. He goes, you got to keep going. He goes, you. You could still take him. And it was bad. And the girlfriend, like I said. And then they got. In the movies. Yeah, I would have got the girl, but it didn't happen.

[C]

This is more like the Last American Virgin. You ever see that movie, Q?

[A]

I don't remember it now.

[C]

Yeah. At the end, he doesn't get the girl, and you're just like, what the fuck? Watch the Last American Virgin if you have the chance. It's one of the. Like a high school movie, but so depressing. Holy shit. Yeah, it's awful. It's awful.

[A]

Sounds up my alley today.

[C]

Yeah, you're in the mood to stew.

[B]

Like that. To me, I'll never forget, though, it was more. Not the physical toll. It was the emotional toll of being like, holy shit. A lot of people don't like me.

[C]

It could have been, though. Think about it this way. Because you weren't like you in high school. You weren't like, hey, everybody, look at me. You know, you were like. You were more of a, like, behind the scenes, like, you know, in the background kind of guy. So, like, maybe this, like, you didn't have that many friends, whereas maybe this guy was just more popular, you know? It's not like they didn't like you. It's just. They liked him.

[B]

Oh, well, that's a.

[C]

It's a.

[B]

That's a nice way. And I appreciate you putting that half glass full way of looking at it, but at the End of the day, the whole town was like rooting against me.

[C]

It felt like pitchforks and torches.

[A]

But you what? Sounds like you won the fight though.

[B]

Yeah, I would. I mean. Yeah, I know. Like, it was. It was like. I definitely took my own lumps out of that too though. I mean he. He had come up to me and I didn't even see it. I was like playing basketball and he hit me and I didn't even feel it because all I saw was I was. He was in front of me. And then all I saw was like a light blue color. And I didn't realize it for a second until I was like, holy shit. I'm looking up at the sky. I didn't even know. I had not even realized that I had gotten hit and I was on the ground.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. He caught me on the chin. And I did not even. I could not figure out what it was I was seeing. I was like, what the fuck happened? Because all I'm seeing is blue. And it was the clear blue sky that I was seeing. And then I had like. I also had really fucked up my shoulder and. And I never got it looked at. And I also had for years and years and years and years shoulder issues. If I was playing a sport or something in the ball went a certain way, it could knock my shoulder out and be fucking so painful. I never really. I never got it taken care of. It was all because from that one fucking afternoon, man, get girls, man. Like you said, if we were in all boys school, it probably never would have happened. Well, it definitely wouldn't happen because it.

[C]

Definitely would have want to be flirting with some dude by the pommel horse.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Now if I'm not mistake. If I'm not mistaken, didn't she go by the name Bubba the Hutt?

[B]

She did when she for. But. But remember she lost about she self applied that she slimmed down by her scene or her junior year though.

[C]

And she looked fine.

[B]

Yeah, she looked.

[C]

She had a sister too, that. I think her sister died.

[B]

She died.

[C]

As a matter of fact. Yeah, I think she died as well. Very cute.

[A]

So her husband and her sister died.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Her husband and her sister died?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

After assaulting Walt.

[C]

Yep, that's what you get.

[A]

I mean if I was a detective.

[B]

I never saw, you know, I never saw that guy ever again after that.

[C]

Really?

[B]

He never. Yeah, he never attend. He never attended school after that. That was our senior year. He never came back to school. It was late in the school year. He didn't come back. And I Never saw him again.

[A]

Holy shit, man.

[B]

Never once ever came into. Was ever in a room with him or saw him on the street. Nothing.

[A]

Did you face any repercussions from the school or from parents?

[B]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I remember the next day I had. I definitely was like, I got to go to school. Even though my shoulder was really up, I was like. I was like, if I don't go to school, people are going to think something. Like. It's almost like a sign of, like, something like I lost or something. It was like I was gonna drag myself to school no matter what happened. I had a big lip. I had my shoulder. I couldn't get my shirt on without my mom helping me because I couldn't raise my arm. And I remember that I got there, and as soon as I got there, I got called to the office because they had heard about it, and they were like, if you will be expelled and you won't graduate, if anything happens, if there's any more fallout to this.

[C]

Which is weird because didn't it take place at Miller Park?

[B]

Yeah, it didn't take place on school grounds.

[C]

Yeah. So what the fuck? Like, how do they extend their authority to after school at a park?

[B]

I think that they were trying to nip it in the bud. They didn't. Like, there was nothing I could have did. I couldn't raise my arm to throw another punch, though, because I had separated my shoulder, I think, at that point. So I just was like, sure, I'm not gonna do anything anyway. I can't.

[A]

Yeah, but did you say to them, like, look, if this guy hadn't come on over and started the fight, none of this would have happened?

[B]

I probably did explain myself, but the guy was like, look, I'm just telling you, if anything happen, will expel you and you won't graduate. I was so close to not graduating anyway. I graduated with, like, one extra credit, I think.

[A]

Jesus. Yeah.

[B]

And I know that the. I only got that credit because the cooking teacher took pity on me. I didn't deserve to graduate my senior year.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah, she was.

[A]

I would argue that you did.

[B]

She took pity on me and, like, gave me a passing grade just so I didn't stay back. She actually told me. She said it would be detrimental to you if you stayed back, because if I. You know, if I. If you failed my class, I would feel like it would put you behind the eight ball going forward. So she. She just passed me with. And I didn't deserve the passing grade.

[C]

Now, if you stayed back, do you think you Would have went back for an extra year or would you have.

[B]

Been like, fuck it, go to summer school? Yeah, like, I probably wouldn't went to summer school. I had gone to summer school the year before that because I knew. They told me, it's like, you're not gonna have enough credits if you don't go to summer school in your junior year.

[C]

So where was your summer school? Mine was all the way Red Bank. Red bank. Okay. Yeah. So that's like. It was a 15 minute drive. Mine was all the way up in Holmdel.

[B]

Yeah. I didn't have a license, so it was like getting to summer school every day was a fucking hellish endeavor. And then getting home, I had to walk so far. Like, I had to walk like three miles to get the bus. Like to get the borough buses. Highlands.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It was like, what's that? Charles? Not Charles Dickens. What's one of those? Like, you know, or summer. Like, what's that? What's that? Author, you know, I'll forget it. Wow.

[C]

Yeah. Walt Flanagan boxing it out over a woman.

[A]

It's. It's crazy that you hurt the kid so much. He never came back to school. That's pretty wild.

[B]

But, you know, there was only like a month left, though.

[A]

Still. A month is funny. It's a long time.

[B]

I think. I think. I think he had. It was some pretty bad. Some bone issues in the face.

[A]

Wow, that's fucking hardcore, man.

[C]

At least he can look back. Even though he had nasal issues. And even though he died early, he can look back and be like, you know, because there's so many people who fight over girls. And then like, nothing comes of it. And like, he actually got the girl, stayed with the girl. So maybe he was like, oh, well, it was worth it. I mean. Yeah, maybe not. He's like, you know, she would have stayed with me anyway. Probably.

[B]

She probably was going to stay with him. I mean. Absolutely. She would have stayed with him. Yeah. And I don't even think she was even like, she was just kind of goofing around. It wasn't like she was.

[C]

Like grabbing.

[A]

Your junk or anything.

[B]

No, not at all. Just kind of making jokes and shit. Like, doing corny shit.

[C]

Right.

[A]

God, how much would it suck to get into a fight today?

[C]

Oh, I would hate it. I would be winded in two seconds. We winded. I wouldn't want to have my. I wouldn't want like a. Like somebody like a Walt Flanagan comes along and breaks my nose. Like on that level.

[A]

Yeah. And like even like hurting someone else at this point. I Don't want to do you know what I mean? You're just like, I don't want to break anybody else's nose either.

[C]

Yeah. But if they put you in a position where you gotta like that guy in the bar that slapped you in the face, you can't just let that slide.

[A]

If somebody slapped me in the face today, I probably wouldn't let it slide. Yeah. I don't think enough of the old cues gone that I would just be like, good day, sir, and walk out. Yeah. I probably would go a little ballistic. But I do think it would, it would take a lot to get me there. Like, I think if I woke up and there was someone in my house, I could kill them. I do think I could do that. I could be like, just fucking sorry, bro. You're in the wrong guy, wrong house. Right. You know, but like slights on the street and, and, and shit like that. I don't know, I'm like, I don't give a fuck anymore, but somebody slapping me, wow, that would be rough.

[C]

Because it is a real, like, it's not like a punch is something different than a slap. Slaps. Almost like I'm not even taking you seriously. And a bitch.

[A]

Yeah. You'd probably just be so shocking, you know what I mean? That you'd be that. You more than anything. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Wow, that's a fucking good one. Well, let's hope I never find out, right? I don't want to get into a fight. I'd hit the ground. So now you remember how like you'd get in a fight as a kid and you'd hit the ground and just.

[C]

Keep rabbiting punches like nothing's connecting.

[A]

I hit the ground, my shoulder would turn to dust. Parlay, parlay.

[C]

I watch a series of podcasts where like they all like fight with each other and all. Like, we'll watch each other's videos and make fun of each other and that kind of stuff. And they're always like, I'll fight you. And these are all like, I'm talking like 55 to 60 year old men. Like, I want to see you in a boxing ring. It's like, do you know how much skill it takes to box? Like you can't just step into. Yeah, stamina skills, footwork, all that shit. Like to just be like, with no training at all. To be like 55 to 60 and be like, I'm getting a boxing ring and kick some ass. It's like, you're fucking crazy.

[B]

Well, if you're if your opponent is also that age and has as much experience as you, I can imagine it's not that crazy. You could probably do it. But I think you underestimate how tired you'll be within.

[C]

Within a minute. Yeah, exactly. All right, well, it's about that time, everyone, where we talk about some sponsors Factor. Fall always feels like a reset between back to school busier routines and shorter days. Finding time to cook can be tough. That's why we love factor. Their chef prep dietitian approved meals make it easy to stay on track and enjoy something comforting and delicious no matter how hectic the season gets. There's more variety, more meals. Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra cost. Support your wellness goals. Savor global flavors from more choices to better nutrition. That's why 97% of customers say that factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel the difference no matter what year your routine. Mary Beth loves Factor. She loves the shakes particularly. That's her thing.

[A]

Oh, I have not had one of those yet.

[C]

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[B]

Now, I heard the word salmon mentioned. Did you guys know that Teddy can only eat salmon?

[C]

I heard that the other day you were telling somebody that he's on a very restricted diet.

[B]

Let me tell you, you ain't, you ain't smelled anything till you smelled salmon gas. Come out.

[C]

Come out.

[B]

It's a, it's a, it'll, it'll put hair on your chest.

[C]

Factor says that they could guarantee there will be no factor gas from their salmon.

[B]

You just, you just hear that little. And all of a sudden you, you're like, holy shit, I'm swimming with the fishes.

[C]

And then you say, socks can only eat chicken, right?

[B]

She can only. Well, yeah, she, she can eat other things, but she'll only eat it if chicken is sprinkled on top of it like the most unseasoned plain chicken. Like boiled chicken.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you ain't smell nothing. And when you come into the house and when you smelled boiled chicken, it smells nasty. It doesn't smell like kfc. I'm like, oh, my God. I go, how does that smell? So horrendous.

[C]

Now, isn't this like not even a mildly surprising that like a Walt Flanagan, who's so particular, has two dogs that are also so particular.

[A]

Picking up on a vibe.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

You know people like that. Like they like finicky, you know, fussy people.

[C]

Don't sure they love them. Yeah. That's like inviting somebody to dinner and you're like, wait, you can't eat this, this, this, this or this. Eatsmartofactormeals.com tesd50off and use code tesd50off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code [e-mail] meals delivered with 50.com sorry for 50% off your first box please. Plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Then we got oh I love this. Love me some yundies wearing them right now. I wear nothing else. My wife too. Sage. I don't know, she does her own thing. The holidays are about the time of year where adults can get away with wearing matching outfits. And Meundies has taken that to the next level with their Match Me collection. Rupert's gonna be happy about this. If you haven't started your gift list yet, you've still got. You've still got plenty of time to get everyone me hundies. I gotta slow down. I read too fast. Whether it's matching undies with your partner, coordinating PJs for the family photo, or getting festive with your friend group, Meundies makes it fun, easy and ridiculously cozy. Their holiday prints are adorable. Their fabric is next level soft. And the best part? You actually want to be caught in matching loungewear all season long. Well, I don't know about that. Meundies is the go to for unbelievably soft underwear and loungewear made from ochre model that's fancy speak for cloud level comfort. And with matching sets and fun festive prints, you'll be the most coordinated couple or family on the couch. Plus, they're sustainably made so your holiday giving can feel good and do good. From cozy joggers to festive onesies, cheeky undies to cuddle worthy bralettes, there's a cut, color and vibe for everyone on your list. Their Match Me line lets couples and friend duos coordinate their loungewear game while the holiday collection brings out seasonal joy to your softest layers. And here's the best part. Right now you can get up to 50% off. Yeah, half off. That's a holiday miracle if we've ever heard one. Normally Wal, you don't want to get underwear for Christmas you open that box, and it's underwear. And you're like, mother.

[B]

Unless it's meundies. That's the only exception.

[C]

Unless it's me Undies. Yep. And to knock out all your holiday gifting needs, today, with meundies, you get exclusive holiday deals for up to 50% off if you go to Meundies.com tesd and enter promo code TESD. That's Meundies.com TESD promo code TESD for 50% off. I've been on a, as people would call it, a diet journey lately, Walt. So as soon as I get in shape, I'm going to pose with some undies for, I don't know, maybe for Twitter.

[B]

For what end, though?

[C]

I don't know. Just to show me undies. My commitment to their product.

[B]

Everyone's like, please don't.

[C]

Yeah. They're like, you're 60.

[B]

That's okay. We're like, we're good.

[C]

Yeah. If you see the models in me on these, they don't look like me. You're right. And now. All right, there's another one. There's only one more.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

But it's one we love. Prize Picks. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. You and I make decisions every day, but on Prize Picks, being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement this sports season on Prize Picks, whether you're a football fan, a basketball fan, or a fan of both, like Walt. You don't like basketball, do you?

[B]

No, not really.

[C]

Okay. Because they said they were a fan. Both like me, but I'm not a fan of either. Really. It always feels good to be right again.

[B]

I got to ask you, what are we picking? What's right again? I don't understand any aspect of this commercial.

[C]

You're going to learn. Okay? Please talk about your thoughts. Whoops. I just lost it. God damn it. Hold on a second, everybody. You don't want to miss this. Discuss football thoughts, personal experience in the app. You can't do that.

[B]

Sure I can. I was on the app.

[C]

Were you on the app?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. How'd you like it?

[B]

So easy to navigate. I didn't even need Gidham's help at all. You know, and when I.

[C]

That's easy, then.

[B]

And when I can navigate the app, you know, it's for simpletons, and I made my picks so easy.

[A]

Simpletons.

[B]

And, you know, the prize, the prizes.

[C]

And the picks, that's what it's all about.

[B]

That's what Prize Picks is all about. Prizes and Picks.

[C]

All right. Prize picks are simple to play. Just pick more or less on at least two players stats. If you get your picks right, you could cash in. Play prize picks to get action on football and basketball in more than 40 plus states for some reason, including California, Texas and Georgia. I guess those guys are like not used to being able to play this kind of stuff. Prize picks now offer stacked, meaning you can pick the same player up to three times in the same lineup. Want to play more on Steph Curry's three On Steph Curry's points, three pointers and assists. Now you can pick all of them in the same lineup only on prize picks. All right, so download the prize picks app today. Use code TESD to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code TESD to get $5 in lineups after you play your 1st $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right? Excellent.

[B]

Is that officially over?

[C]

It's officially over.

[B]

Did you hear about. This is the craziest story that has definitely been squashed about the basketball players who got caught shaving points.

[C]

Oh yeah, I read about that. Yeah.

[B]

Is nuts how that has not become like the biggest scandal in the country.

[A]

Like wait, I'm sorry, say that one more time, Walt. I'm sorry, I was.

[B]

Professional basketball players have been caught shaving points. Professional baseball players have done it now and it is kind of like been swept under the rug and suppressed. And it is shocking. Then it shows you the power of these professional sports leagues. They are basically, I think telling networks not to even talk about it like they talked about initially. And then it just kind of went away.

[C]

It was big for like a day.

[B]

Talking about zillions of dollars now in play that could have been.

[C]

People lost their role. I would have won.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I lost money that I would have won. Yeah.

[B]

It is fucked up how like you see the powers that be with the stories they want you to hear about and the stories they want you to, you know, that go the. Go the way the dodo bird, like they don't even talk about it anymore. It is absolutely insane.

[C]

It's really strange because like that happened in the, I believe in the 50s. That's when the first point shaving happened and it was like a national scandal. But like now they're just like you say, sweeping it under the rug like it's nothing.

[B]

Well, I mean it's eventually going to happen. I mean there's no way it isn't happening in the NFL too though, right? There's Just too many weird shit that goes on that if anybody is shocked that it's that it's eventually going to come out that the NFL is up to some players or some refs are up to some shaky shit. I mean, I mean you have to be you know, waiting in line to buy a bridge somewhere.

[C]

If you're shocked about that waiting in line, you're not even gonna be good.

[B]

I hope there's still a bridge when I get to up there. They don't sell out.

[A]

It's, it's, it's the same thing that's wrong with everything these days. The reason that happened is because the, the league's gotten business with the like sport. It. They should have never allowed sports betting to get involved with professional sports.

[C]

It just.

[A]

They shouldn't let the players do it. It's, it's, it's the second something becomes. Yeah, but they, they do though because they do because they have all. You could bet on your fucking phone now. And you, you have athletes doing commercials for, for betting for betting apps. Right?

[B]

But, but apparently you know you're not allowed to bet if you're a professional athlete on anything.

[C]

Oh really? Like not even like, not even like sports related, non related stuff.

[B]

Even other leagues. I don't think you're allowed to bet if you're a professional athlete. There's rules in the NFL and everything. Players are gotten in trouble just for betting on in other sports, but they're.

[A]

Still in the game. It's not like with Pete Rose where they're like get the field done out, right? So that's like giving me a speeding ticket for going 30 miles per hour on a 25 zone. I'm like, oh, I got that slap on the wrist. All right, thanks officer. Like if they're like guess why you go 5mph the speed limit, you're losing your fucking wrangler. You using license. You'll see me going 24 miles per hour the entire time. And you know this the corporate corporations getting. Look, is there any doubt that it ruined fucking. Anytime big business gets involved in anything, it fucking kinds of ruins it.

[B]

Yeah, I've never really bet on any kind of these fanduel sites or wherever.

[C]

You do on price picks.

[B]

I don't know if it's. I don't really know what that fucking service even offers.

[C]

It does seem like it seems like fantasy sports kind of. Yeah.

[B]

But there's one thing that I have discovered watching football for as long as I have. You cannot figure it out one week from the next. Teams look like world beaters. And the next week they look like they couldn't beat a high school team. And that's why you can never get a handle on shit because it's so. It fluctuates so wildly. And now you throw in the aspect of like. I mean, there was a guy, they showed a guy who got caught in baseball. You could bet on his pitch, if his pitch is going to be a ball or strike. And so he let everybody know in this little circle, like, hey, I'm going to throw a pitch, I'm going to throw a ball. And you should see the ball he throws. It's like over the catcher's head, right? It's like these are the things that the FBI is accumulating, I guess, when they finally bring him to court. But they've been charged with this, you know, innocent till proven guilty. But I don't think the FBI brings these and announces these things if they don't have airtight.

[C]

Cases, solid evidence, because.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure that they are pretty confident once they start naming names and because you're fucking put the scarlet letter on. Every coach and player who's caught up in this scandal will never be looked at the same, even if they're found innocent. Yeah, they'll be under the suspicion forever.

[A]

Well, didn't something like that kind of happen to Ohtani?

[B]

Who's Ohtani?

[A]

He's the pitcher in la.

[B]

What happened?

[A]

Didn't. His trainer, my. I don't know if I'm wrong about it, didn't. His trainer was found putting bets on him. I thought we talked about. I thought you were the one who told me about this.

[B]

It's possible, yeah. You know, I mean, there's so much sports and gambling stories. I don't know. I don't know if I don't remember that. But you could be right, though.

[A]

Well, honestly, if I heard it, I heard it from you, and if I'm getting the facts wrong a year later, then that's more likely, too. I thought you would know, but I.

[B]

Don'T follow baseball that closely. But yeah, there may have been a scandal involving that guy. I mean, I thought there was.

[A]

His translator was.

[C]

Yeah, it says that his former interpreter, and I'm not going to try to pronounce the name, was sentenced to nearly five years in prison for stealing almost 17 million from the baseball player to pay off gambling debts. Separately, in a new lawsuit filed in August 2025, Ohtani and his agent are accused of sabotaging a luxury real estate deal in Hawaii. Though the details Are still developing.

[B]

Because if you could bet on a player just to throw a ball.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And all that player has to do is just not throw a strike.

[A]

Right. Pretty easy. Pretty hard to prove.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It says here, the background of it is the scandal broke in March 2024 when reports emerged about large wire transfers from Ohtani's accounts to an illegal bookmaker. Ohtani stated that he was unaware of the transfers, but the. The initial story was that the money was for his interpreter's debts. 17 million.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

How much money is this fucking guy making that you can steal 17 million and it's not noticed? And how does the interpreter have access to his accounts?

[B]

He might be the first billion dollar baseball player.

[C]

Oh, really? Yeah, that's how much they pay him.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

He's that good, huh?

[B]

He's like the Babe Ruth. The modern day Babe Ruth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He pitches, hits, home runs.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

I think, yeah. The amount of whatever they're paying him, if they say is such a. Even that is like such a bargain because of all the money he generates worldwide. Expect, like in his own country with his merchandise and his jerseys and shit, right? Yeah. They could pay him a billion and still make and profit off of them.

[C]

Oh, my God. Playing baseball. Yeah.

[A]

Child's game.

[C]

Yeah. Game. Kids are like, pick up. And they're like, hey, let's do this. We got nine people. Billion dollars. Should have played more baseball when I was young. I didn't. Walt. I also didn't learn from you. I didn't take a page out of your book. I should take more pages out of Walt Flanagan's book.

[B]

I think you leave my book alone. Leave my book alone.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

Let me just take my pages.

[C]

Just a page or two. Just a page or two.

[B]

I know you'll rip them out and you still won't even read them.

[C]

I'm gonna have to be like, wait, what's that?

[A]

This paper would roll a good joint.

[C]

Went to the doctor, urologist, he's like, hey, you got to go get a blood test. Regular blood test. Went to the place, they could hardly get any blood out of me. They said, you are severely dehydrated.

[B]

Really?

[C]

You need to start drinking water. Lots of it. That was.

[B]

You aware you were drinking water?

[C]

I was aware I wasn't drinking water.

[B]

Now, why would you continue to not drink water then?

[C]

Because I'm an asshole.

[B]

I don't understand that rationale, though.

[C]

I don't know. It's just like. It just falls by the wayside. You know what I mean? I'll start to do something and then it'll trail off. I'll start to do something and then it'll fall off. I'll start to write in a journal, and then one day I don't do it, and then I'll do it for the next week. But the water thing is just like, you know, it's not easy to drink that much water every day.

[B]

No, it is a task. It's certainly not fun to do to drink the amount of water that you're supposed to drink.

[C]

Yeah. So I've started. For the last four days, I've been drinking 100 ounces of water a day, which is, you know, 28 ounces shy of a gallon.

[B]

Do you feel better?

[C]

I do, yeah. I do feel a little bit better. So I think. I don't feel as like. Like distracted, almost like my head is not as foggy as it was, maybe. So. Pissing a lot more, too, for sure.

[A]

Nice clear piss.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Nice dark yellow urine that I used to have.

[A]

Oh, that tasty dark yellow.

[C]

And I'm using a water bottle. I can't remember her name because she gave it to me so long ago. But a nice lady sent me a water bottle with. It has like, Bluetooth and shit. So it's like. It'll tell you, like, if you open it up, it says hello, and then it tells you how much water. Like 28% for the day. So I know that I have to keep drinking. That's my life now, Q. Monitoring my water intake, worrying about this epidural that didn't take.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That sucks.

[B]

Now, the urologist, I just find this blows my mind. So that your back problems. Your urologist is taking care of that?

[C]

No, no, no. When I went to the urologist, I told him about it because we talk about a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I was just like, I've never heard that before. That is strange. It's all, like, tied. All your issues at your back are tied to your.

[C]

Tied to my wiener. First time in history, medical history, we've seen this, but it's all about your boner.

[A]

It's not the first time that's been seen.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So I talked to the urologist about lots of stuff, and he said, probably what they're going to do is give you another epidural with a steroid in it. And sure enough, when I went back to the orthopedic guy, that's what he said we have to do. So I got that done on December 4. It did not work. I mean, the first part didn't work. So the second part, I'm hoping it works because it ain't cheap to be good.

[B]

So you already had epidural and didn't do anything?

[C]

It killed the pain a little bit, but not, like, totally. So every once in a while, it'll start to hurt, and then I'll get the tingling down to my fingers and that kind of shit. And then he's like, well, we'll try it again. But it could be a pinched nerve in your arm. So if it's that case, then we got to use this machine. Then he shows me a machine with all these needles in it, and he's like, yeah, it's kind of painful. So I'm really hoping this sucking epidural works. Yeah.

[B]

A lot of members of TSD town are dealing with tingly appendages.

[C]

Yeah. Get them, too. I didn't say that.

[B]

Well, I'm assuming I'll just say that I've been talking.

[C]

Are you tingling? Get them tingling A little bit.

[B]

Yeah. It's the tingling that. You know that when you get to a certain age when things start to tingle.

[C]

Yeah. The wrong thing. The wrong thing starts to tingle. Yeah. There's not so much tingling anymore down there. It's just, you know, like, even as my doctor, I was like, man, I used to. Like, what happened? Like, I used to be able to, like, you know, think of something, and there I am. Not anymore.

[B]

You could think about it all day. It ain't gonna move.

[C]

Nope. It ain't gonna tingle. Nope. I'm too old now.

[B]

Think of something else. That ain't gonna work anymore.

[C]

I just sit there all day, focusing. Tingle. God damn you, tingle. Yeah.

[A]

I've been thinking, you know, and I know we're getting close to the end here, so I'll just put it in your. In your head for food, for thought. But I' you know, I turned 50 in March.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And the big five. Zero. And I'm like, well, it might be time to, like, totally throw out my wardrobe and get a more refined older person's wardrobe. Like, it might be time for the print tees and the, you know, the hoodies to go away.

[B]

Really? Polyester.

[A]

What's that? You broke up.

[B]

Go. Polyester wardrobe?

[A]

Well, no, I mean, I was thinking more, like cottons and wools, you know, and, like, you know, it's just white, old, dull polyester.

[C]

What you equate with being. Dressing as an older person is, like, dressing fancier, Like, a little elevated, a.

[A]

Little bit more like turtlenecks. Sure. Maybe a turtleneck. I Don't know. I haven't really gotten into it. I'm like, you know, I wear baseball hats so often. I'm like, you know, should I be running around in baseball caps when I got the number five in front of my age?

[B]

You know what you stopped wearing, and it was your signature look, and you probably. I would suggest going back to this because everybody equates you in. This was the flat top. The flat cap.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You just stopped wearing that. Totally. I don't know if you're trying to change it up. You don't want to get typecast as that guy. But no, look.

[A]

You like that? I should. I should.

[B]

That look.

[A]

Weave that back in. Okay. All right. That's good. I like that.

[C]

Now. I was watching Boardwalk Empire years ago, and Al Capone was chided for wearing that kind of cap, saying it makes him look like a child. He should wear, like, you know, like more of a stovetop derby. Not a stovetop. Like. Yeah, more of a derby. Like, could you pull off a derby all the time, going back old school, like in the 30s, you know, when everybody wore that style hat?

[B]

I think. I think it's so out of fashion that it probably would be.

[C]

He looked like a hipster.

[B]

Yeah. He would kind of look like a D bag for trying to do it. Like, look at me. Look how ironic I am. But the flat top, that was a very New York look for a New York type of guy. He looked like a guy who came from the city. And it just. I believe it was the look that most people were introduced to you in.

[A]

Yeah, probably. And the reason. The reason I started wearing that so much, though, is because I couldn't wear the baseball caps on TV without getting the rights to the Yankees logo. So I just started wearing that. And then when we started making. Tell him See Dave hats. Yeah. I kind of shifted over to that, you know, to represent the show on the show. And, you know, we had so many of them. I don't know. You don't think, like. You don't think a man in his 50s should. Could pull off, like, a fedora? Like, you know, like. Like a gentleman's. A gentleman's cap.

[C]

I think if you're going out for the night, you're doing something fancy for the night, you could probably do it. But, like, as a regular.

[B]

Yeah. Every day, just running down to grab lunch at a delicate test, and. Yeah, the fedora may be a little too much. It may be like, you know, you're trying too hard. Got to give off that kind of vibe.

[A]

I don't know, maybe I'll put some thought. But like I said, I just started to thought to it. I mean, look, I have a. When I'm in the pool in the summer, I have a cowboy hat like a straw, A straw Stetson that I wear to keep the sun off me, you know?

[C]

You know your shit, Q. Let me tell you.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm like, you know, and I, I never wear that, like, and feel like I look like a dickhead. I'm always like, ah, my summer Stetson. I'm getting in the pool. I'm out by the pool.

[C]

Keeps the sun off your head and your.

[A]

And your sun off. Maybe Fedora's. Maybe if Fedora could do the same in everyday wear for me.

[C]

What do you think, Walt? Your face is saying, I think he.

[B]

Could pull off any hat. I don't think there's a hat he can't pull off.

[A]

All right, I'm just starting to think about. I, I, you know, I don't know.

[C]

You got a little time.

[A]

Yeah. You guys, when you guys turned the clock to 50, you guys weren't like, it's time to elevate my wardrobe a little bit and start dressing like an adult more.

[C]

The only time I feel that way is when I'm at my ideal weight. Otherwise, I'm like, I look like a fat slob anyway. So, like, why try to dress up a.

[B]

You know, every year, I always make my New Year's resolution is I'm gonna wear jeans more. And I never do it.

[A]

Yeah, why don't you do it?

[B]

I mentioned this before. Jeans feel like a denim straight jacket to me. Like, you know, I gotta have my legs not feel restricted.

[C]

And also, I feel like Wal Flanagan is a guy who, like, I don't care what age he turns, he's gonna be like, comfort is primary.

[B]

Yeah. That's more paramount to. Then, you know, if somebody thinks, like, I'm not dressed appropriately for my age.

[C]

You should wear a fedora with that sweat outfit you have on right now.

[A]

But, you know, Gene, technology has come a long way from, like, loose.

[C]

Maybe.

[A]

You know, I'm not saying go Ming Chen crazy, but maybe, maybe, you know, maybe more of a stretch gene.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't even tell the difference anymore. Yeah. It might work for you.

[B]

Yeah. That's why I say, I always say I'm going to make the effort to wear jeans more, but inevitably, I'm like, by January 3rd, I'm like, fuck it, sweatpants.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's gotten to the point where if I saw you in jeans. I would be like, oh, that's odd.

[B]

Yeah. You think I was going to a funeral or something?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. He's dressing up for something.

[B]

It.

[A]

That man's either going to pan for gold or to a funeral.

[B]

Tell him, steve dave.

[A]

Go lions.