Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #659: Walt the Pugilist (Nov 23, 2025)

Episode Overview

In episode #659, "Walt the Pugilist," the Tell 'Em Steve-Dave crew—Bryan Johnson (C), Walt Flanagan (B), and Brian "Q" Quinn (A)—delve into themes of schoolyard violence, the pressures and changes brought by adulthood, and plenty of their signature banter. The episode kicks off with banter about Walt's secret past as a high school fighter, segues through tales of Christmas specials, old pranks, and even sports betting scandals, before wrapping with lighthearted self-reflection on aging and wardrobe choices.

The tone alternates between irreverent, introspective, and hilariously offbeat, delivering both nostalgia and sharp social commentary.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Walt's Schoolyard Brawl: The Pugilist Revealed

[23:16–29:02, 32:00+]

• Walt’s hidden past surfaces: in high school, he got into a memorable fight over a girl, breaking a guy’s nose so badly the victim had lifetime breathing problems and didn’t return to school afterward.
• Despite Walt "winning" the fight, the girl stayed with her boyfriend and even attacked Walt mid-fight ("She jumped on my back...gouged into my ear and ripped out all the...skin" – B, [21:18]).
• Walt reflects more on the emotional impact than the physical:

  "To me, I'll never forget, though, it was more. Not the physical toll. It was the emotional toll of being like, holy shit. A lot of people don't like me." – B, [25:46]

• The crowd rooted against Walt:

  "I'd say 45 of those people were like, kick his ass. Kick his ass. And they were talking to the other guy. They wanted me to get fucking beat up." – B, [23:31]

• Fight aftermath: Walt faced school threats of expulsion, severe shoulder injuries, and a sense of outsider status even after "winning."
• Reflecting on adulthood, the crew jokes (with truth) that fights now would leave them physically wrecked—“I hit the ground, my shoulder would turn to dust” (A, [00:43]/[34:52]).

2. Christmas Special Extravaganza & Community Camaraderie

[02:55–09:52]

• The legendary Tell 'Em Steve-Dave Christmas special is complete and longer than ever—potentially 7–8 hours, with 18 contestants and the first-ever inclusion of female participants.
• 100% of Bandcamp sales from the special will benefit two families battling cancer, underlining the community’s charitable side.
• The guys praise the friendly, patient attitude of their crew and contributors, specifically Jimmy the Hair Guy:

  "Just as friendly and as helpful and, like, I want to be a part of it as...they all were." – A, [06:49]

• Camaraderie and good vibes are highlighted, with participants enduring marathon tapings without complaint.

3. Old-School Hazing and Pranks: Dark Humor and Cultural Critique

[11:29–18:45]

• In discussing a horrifying real-life “prank” involving industrial hoses, the hosts reflect on hazing culture past and present.
• Nostalgia meets critique amid tales of the "pickle walk" (initiation requiring a student to walk while holding a pickle between their cheeks):

  “Like, why do you want to bend someone over and put things up their ass unless there's a sexual element to it?” – A, [15:01]

• The group discusses the gendered dynamics of high school, theorizing that the presence of girls inspired more performative (and sometimes cruel) antics among boys.
• Bryan observes that physical dominance and hazing don’t actually impress most girls, despite teenage male assumptions.

4. Sports Betting Scandals and the Dark Side of Modern Athletics

[43:48–51:39]

• Walt brings up a recent, underreported sports gambling scandal involving pro athletes shaving points—expressing outrage at media suppression and corporate influence.
• The guys rail against the normalization of sports betting ads and sponsorships:

  “The reason that happened is because the leagues got in business with the...they should have never allowed sports betting to get involved with professional sports.” – A, [46:02]

• They connect the topic to recent news, including the Shohei Ohtani interpreter’s $17 million gambling theft scandal ([50:07]).

5. Aging, Health, and Wardrobe Existentialism

[52:22–62:43]

• Bryan shares urology woes and new dedication to hydration, admitting,

  “I was aware I wasn't drinking water.” – C, [52:43]

• Q floats the idea of overhauling his wardrobe for turning 50:

  "It might be time to, like, totally throw out my wardrobe and get a more refined older person's wardrobe." – A, [57:01]

• Walt and Bryan jest about comfort trumping fashion:

  “Jeans feel like a denim straight jacket to me." – B, [61:37]

• They riff on hat styles for aging men—fedoras, flat caps, even summer Stetsons.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I hit the ground, my shoulder would turn to dust. I'd be like, wow. Parlay.” – A, ([00:43], also reprised at [34:52])
• “To me, I'll never forget, though, it was more. Not the physical toll. It was the emotional toll of being like, holy shit. A lot of people don't like me.” – B, [25:46]
• “Why do you want to bend someone over and put things up their ass unless there's a sexual element to it?” – A, [15:01]
• “I'd say 45 of those people were like, kick his ass...They wanted me to get fucking beat up.” – B, [23:31]
• “If somebody slapped me in the face today, I probably wouldn't let it slide. I don't think enough of the old Q's gone that I would just be like, 'Good day, sir,' and walk out.” – A, [33:39]
• “Let me tell you, you ain't smelled anything til you smelled salmon gas...it'll put hair on your chest.” – B, [37:10]
• “Jeans feel like a denim straight jacket to me.” – B, [61:37]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:55-09:52] – Christmas Special announcement, behind-the-scenes, and community spirit.
• [11:29-18:45] – Prank/hazing discussion, pickle stories, and gender/social critique.
• [23:16-29:02, 32:00+] – Walt’s high school fight and its consequences.
• [43:48-51:39] – Betting scandals in pro sports, Ohtani interpreter story.
• [52:22-62:43] – Aging, health, clothes, and fashion insecurity.

Tone and Style

• Language: Raw, candid, often laced with dry or dark humor.
• Chemistry: Banter-driven, with frequent callbacks, teasing, and supportive asides.
• Content: Uncensored and occasionally blue, but peppered with genuine introspection.

Summary

"Walt the Pugilist" is emblematic of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave’s unique blend of storytelling, irreverence, and surprising depth. The episode is by turns bleakly funny and heartfelt, mining the past for both laughs and hard truths about growing up, fitting in, and getting old. For lifelong listeners and new fans alike, it’s a quintessential dive into the TESD universe—equal parts punchline and punch-up.