Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #660: "Q Does It Again!"
Date: December 8, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Johnson (A), Walt Flanagan (C), Brian "Q" Quinn (B)
Theme: Two Comic Book Men and an Impractical Joker. Uncensored.
Episode Overview
This episode is quintessential Tell ‘Em Steve-Dave: three longtime friends catching up about family troubles, health woes, the absurdities of modern life, and their off-kilter views on holiday traditions. The gang discusses recent Thanksgivings, updates on mutual friend "Get 'Em" Steve-Dave’s emergency surgery, generational aging, Walt’s lack of an ID, skyrocketing tree prices, the “woke” culture around Christmas trees, weight loss journeys, micro-penises in history and pop culture, and more. The episode is funny, sometimes heartfelt, and maintains the classic TESD irreverence.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Thanksgiving Catch-Up & Health Woes
2. "Get 'Em" Steve-Dave Hospital Saga
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Emergency Surgery:
- “Get ‘Em” Steve-Dave required unplanned spinal surgery right after Thanksgiving.
- Walt and his father were listed as contacts for medical updates; Walt anxiously awaited a call that was delayed for hours.
- “But that call did not come until... 10:30, yeah.” (14:34–14:36)
- The podcast group discusses the stress of waiting, whether it’s better to have time to prepare for surgery or have it done immediately.
- “I think forget him. It’s better to, to do it the way it happened because you don’t... give him a chance to argue it, you know?” (13:11–13:15)
- Walt admits he can’t record a podcast during a friend’s surgery, unlike the others.
- “I just could not. Like, there's not a chance on the planet I could have been in the right frame of mind to crack jokes while that was going on.” (21:28–21:34)
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Hospital Security & Walt’s Lack of ID:
- Walt’s notorious for not carrying ID, causing trouble visiting "Get 'Em" in the hospital.
- “I haven't carried it for decades... I'm terrified I'm going to lose it.” (16:52–17:02)
- Staff were inconsistent: one let him in, another was annoyed when he finally produced ID.
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Get 'Em’s Recovery, Rehab, and Potential for Personal Change:
- He’ll need a month-long rehab—no drinking, smaller meal portions—possibly a fresh chance.
- “Maybe it'll change. I'm telling you, this might be a great opportunity for him to pivot into exciting new directions.” (40:16–40:22)
- Group humor about whether Get ‘Em’s unhealthy lifestyle contributed to his condition—Walt thinks not.
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Workplace Absence:
- The office is quieter without Get ‘Em; Q and Bryan express genuine concern about his quality of life and how much his struggles have affected them emotionally.
- “It did hurt my heart to see him walking around like that, dude... Like, my heart would hurt... Like, if you see a dog limping, you know, holding one paw up... that's kind of like what get him did to me.” (45:52–46:07)
3. Holiday Observations and "Woke" Christmas
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Portland’s "The Tree" & Outrage:
- News about Portland’s “The Tree” lighting ceremony—avoiding the term “Christmas tree”—sparks discussion about political correctness, culture wars, and identity.
- “Portland's woke tree lighting ceremony sparks outrage. They can't even say Christmas tree.” (25:58–26:22)
- Q: “You're appropriating the Christmas tree then... I have a hard time getting worked up about it at all.” (27:07–27:44)
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Inflation & Fake Christmas Tree Prices:
- Walt is shocked by triple-figure prices, even $300 for pre-lit fake trees.
- “Are they crazy, man, it's sticker shock on Christmas trees. Especially fake ones... like triple figures for a Christmas tree.” (30:15–30:32)
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Gift-Giving and Matching Outfits:
- The crew debates matching family pajamas, with Q refusing due to anticipated ridicule from Bryan.
- “Because I’m friends with Brian Johnson and there’s no way to get away with behavior like that.” (33:26–33:40)
4. Generational Aging & Loss
5. Body Image, Weight Loss, and Ozempic Trends
6. Absurd Science, Aging Bodies, and Micro-Penises
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Women’s Farts and Alzheimer’s:
- Delirious scientific detail: women’s farts have more hydrogen sulfide—smellier but possibly protective against Alzheimer's.
- “Next time you catch a whiff of your wife's wind, take comfort. That stink could be a sign that she's less likely to develop Alzheimer's.” (69:17)
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Micro-Penis in Crime and Pop Culture:
- Series of darkly comic anecdotes about criminals with micropenises (Hitler, Golden State Killer, Jeffrey Epstein).
- “Micropenis, though, is different from like small penis. Micro penis is like... that's a medical community telling you that you're a fucking little, little, little tiny cock boy.” (72:47–72:58)
- Referencing podcaster "Donkey Lips" (Michael Ray Bauer) talking openly about his own micropenis, speculating on why he disclosed it.
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Handicapped Parking for Micropenis:
- Joking proposal that micro-penis should qualify for handicapped parking.
- “I think we could all come together... if you're born with a micro penis, there's no reason you should have to walk all the way in a parking lot.” (75:28–75:38)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On spending Thanksgiving sick and alone:
“A nice, little, lonely, sick Thanksgiving was good.” –Q (03:42)
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On not carrying ID:
"I haven't carried it for decades... I'm terrified I'm going to lose it.” –Walt (16:52–17:02)
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On the price of pain relief:
“These things are expensive, man. Even with insurance. It was like 900 bucks. Really? Just for a shot?” –Walt & Bryan (07:40–07:53)
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On concern for a friend’s surgery:
“I just could not... be in the right frame of mind to crack jokes while that was going on. I just couldn't do it.” –Walt (21:28–21:34)
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On the Portland “Tree” debacle:
“You’re appropriating though the Christmas tree then... I have a hard time getting worked up about it at all.” –Q (27:07–27:44)
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On group empathy:
“Like, my heart would hurt... Like, if you see a dog limping, you know, holding one paw up... that's kind of like what get him did to me.” –Q (45:52–46:07)
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On the pitfalls of diet soda as hydration:
“How come Sprite looks like water and it's not good enough? Why can't it just be Sprite?” –Walt (66:14)
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On micro-penis sympathy:
“If you're born with a micro penis, there's no reason you should have to walk all the way in a parking lot. I agree.” –Bryan (75:26–75:38)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Thanksgiving Recap & Health Issues: 01:11–09:14
- Cost & Effectiveness of Epidurals: 05:00–08:42
- Walt’s Issue Visiting Hospital (No ID): 11:25–18:20
- Get 'Em Steve-Dave’s Emergency Surgery & Recovery: 11:51–47:00 (esp. his status, waiting for the call, post-op issues)
- Portland’s “Tree Lighting” & Holiday Observations: 25:53–32:43
- Body Image & Fat News (Amy Schumer, Plane Story, Bryan’s Ozempic experience): 53:00–64:11
- Absurd Research (Women’s Farts, Benefits): 68:43–71:17
- Micro-Penis in Pop Culture, Sympathy Jokes: 71:33–75:46
Final Thoughts
This episode is classic TESD, weaving health setbacks, family trials, and social commentary (from Christmas tree outrage in Portland to public weight and body discussions) with their distinctive mix of crass candor, ribbing, empathy, and generational resignation. Whether they’re wrestling with the realities of aging, supporting friends through struggles, or pondering the fate of micro-penis sufferers, the trio never loses sight of their humor or camaraderie.
Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! remains a touchstone for fans who want irreverence, honesty, and the feeling of sitting with lifelong friends through the ups and downs.
