#664: Hermaphroditic Butterfly

Summary

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Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #664: Hermaphroditic Butterfly — Feb 2, 2026

Main Theme / Purpose:
A classic TSD episode blending banter, winter doldrum blues, inside jokes, and behind-the-scenes tales, with a heavy focus on convention stories, comic culture, personal mishaps, and the fun-loving group dynamic that TSD fans love. Special guests and a competitive “Con Stories” game drive much of the conversation, revealing new confessions and keeping the tone mischievous, self-deprecating, and authentic.

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Table of Contents

• The Power of Ming Chen's Return & Q's Latest Triumph
• Winter Woes and Mental Health Check-In
• Impractical Jokers Success & Q's Jericho Podcast Appearance
• On Grief, Loss, and Remembering Beloved Pets
• The Great “VC Box” Communication Breakdown
• Legal vs. Illegal Streaming Debate & Morality
• Tech Talk: AI, Security, and Outdated Skills
• Sam Raimi’s New Movie: Send Help (and Piracy Angst)
• Listener Q&A: Jimmy the Hair Guy and Postal Shenanigans
• The Great Convention Game: “Con Stories”
• Closing Moments: PSA on Sage-Inspired Scams

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The Power of Ming Chen's Return & Q's Latest Triumph

[02:35]

• The full house: Q (Brian Quinn), Walt, Bry, Ming Chen, fan-favorite Get 'em (“newly rehabbed”), and special guest appear.
• Ming’s recent return is credited with rejuvenating the group, especially Q:

  “Today was the first day I woke up and didn’t feel like blowing my brains out... Then I see Ming...” (B, 03:30)

• The crew discusses their nearly 30-year friendship, with Ming and Q marveling at how quickly time passes:

  “I love you longer than I’ve loved Key West, actually.” (B, 04:24)

---

Winter Woes and Mental Health Check-In

[03:30]

• Q and the crew bond over hating the brutal winter. Q admits it's grinding him down:

  “To walk in here and then to see Ming...I’m supercharged for the weekend now.” (B, 03:30)

• “It’s the darkness, the dreariness...” Q describes seasonal depression and attempted warm-weather getaways, none successful (all rainy) (B, 03:55).

---

Impractical Jokers Success & Q's Jericho Podcast Appearance

[05:33]

• Q reveals IJ’s current season is experiencing “biggest episodes ever,” especially in the prized 25–54 demographic.
• Ratings success is mystifying even to the network:

  “Nobody knows why. Network’s like, we don’t know what’s going on, but let’s just roll with it.” (B, 05:50)

• Jericho Podcast: Q grilled for not plugging TSD. The group jokes about cross-promotion and Jericho’s wrestling/nerd bona fides:

  “You know, you can’t mention everything...” (B, 08:38) “He might be the best ever on a mic in terms of talking shit...” (B, 11:22-11:37)

---

On Grief, Loss, and Remembering Beloved Pets

[12:43]

• Bry opens up about the death of Princess Mitch the cat and community support.
• Q reflects on still thinking of his cat, Benjamin, every day—talking to his ashes, displaying his photos:

  “It’s not even something I have to think about. I think about him every day.” (B, 13:04)

• Walt ponders headstone epitaphs and self-mythologizing (“Never was a bad word said about him”—not true, but “who’s going to argue with a stone?” (C, 14:33))

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The Great “VC Box” Communication Breakdown

[19:07]

• Walt details a comically botched arrangement where Get'em shows up at Walt’s house, naps for an hour in the (freezing) car, instead of knocking or texting.
• Miscommunication analyzed: Was Walt’s text ("I'll be in at 2:30") misleading? Did Get'em over-assume and under-clarify?
• Hilarious forensic text parsing ensues:

  “Sleeping in the driveway is an odd choice.” (B, 30:08)

• Walt loses “moral superiority” by installing a gray-market streaming box, rationalizes:

  “I’ve been morally superior for so many decades, it’s got me nothing.” (A, 20:16)

• Get’em gets the last word:

  “I was just sitting there and then I got tired and I fell asleep.” (E, 25:14)

• Loose consensus: mutual fault; more miscommunication than malice.

---

Legal vs. Illegal Streaming Debate & Morality

[33:04]

• VC box enables Walt to watch nearly anything, leading to cracks about slowly abandoning ethics:

  “I know you want to be morally superior... or be able to watch Mary Tyler Moore... It got me nothing.” (A, 20:16)

• Q playfully scolds Walt for pirating movies:

  “He deserves respect. He deserves your money.” (B, 38:43)

---

Tech Talk: AI, Security, and Outdated Skills

[47:47]

• Walt’s house is now a “digital titanium shield,” featuring VPNs, firewalls, and “Tommy Lincoln's Electronic Fortress.”
• Ming admits he’s fallen behind tech trends, can't keep up with AI/website templating anymore:

  “Are you still computer savvy or have those days long gone?” (B, 47:47) “Passed him by a long time ago.” (A, 47:51)

• Brief discussion on AI replacing programmers:

  “It’s all prompts now.” (D, 50:38) “The genie’s out of the bottle.” (B/E, 51:14–51:19)

• Walt predicts an AI reckoning “somebody will put the genie back in the bottle.” (A, 51:23)

---

Sam Raimi’s "Send Help," Streaming Piracy & Cinema

[34:44]

• High praise for Sam Raimi’s new movie Send Help. Q saw it alone in a theater:

  “Sam Raimi is always first-day filmmaker for me, man. Not my favorite ever, but it’s Sam Raimi... The car’s in there somewhere. It’s great.” (B, 34:44)

• Mockery for Hollywood’s attempts to “uglify” attractive actresses:

  “They put glasses on her—like Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns; are you kidding me?” (B, 35:41)

• The group jests about pirating first-run movies via VC boxes and Walt’s (partial) guilt:

  “If you do that, tell me, because I’ll buy a ticket.” (B, 36:52)

---

Listener Q&A: Jimmy the Hair Guy and Postal Shenanigans

[52:32]

• "Jimmy the Hair Guy” does public Q&As at work (post office), fueling a side-discussion on government employment, workarounds, and “excuse cards” for special privileges.
• Q worries this could get Jimmy in trouble; speculative jokes about “anti-bullying cards.”

---

The Great Convention Game: “Con Stories”

[69:18]
(Walt–hosted true-or-false tales about Ming’s wild con years. Others grill Ming, try to spot the lies.)

Notable Stories and Outcomes:

• TRUE: Ming and Mike Zapczyk shared a bed after missing a flight (D, 77:20)
  • “We opted to take the fancy [AMC] dinner instead of flying home... only one hotel room available.” (D, 77:25)
• FALSE: Ming went to Walmart with Donnie Most (Ralph Malph from Happy Days)
• FALSE: Photo op fan reveals wife is cheating at con with Power Ranger cosplayer
• FALSE: Ming called handler for toilet paper emergency at con
• FALSE: Comic artists fouled glass tables Jack Nicholson–style at afterparty
• TRUE: Promoter physically assaulted after clients placed next to Ming at a con (D, 107:41)
• TRUE: Woman’s emotional support bird escapes at SDCC—bird recovered after flying into window.
  • “Woman started running around crying...her bird escaped. They got it back when it smacked into a window...” (D, 112:02)
• TRUE: Action actor Manu Bennett (Arrow) arrested, missed whole con after drunken assault—Ming and Bry recall it.
  • “No judges over the weekend, so he couldn’t appear before the court until Monday. We made fun of him mercilessly.” (D, 116:13)
• TRUE: Ming enabled a Sandlot actor’s legendary drunkenness by buying him Jameson—actor was ejected from the con.
  • “He hounded me...stopped at the liquor store...it was the main character from The Sandlot.” (D, 118:12)
• WINNER: Get’em is proclaimed the “human lie detector” of the game.
  • “No alcohol. He’s thinking faster than ever. No, that’s dangerous!” (B, 121:38)

---

Memorable Quotes & Stand-Out Moments

Q on winter depression and Ming’s effect:

“Today was the first day I woke up and didn't feel like blowing my brains out... and then I see Ming.” (B, 03:30)

On lifelong friendships:

“I love you longer than I've loved Key West, actually.” (B, 04:24)
“There's more days behind you than ahead of you.” (Paraphrasing Picard, B, 04:56)

On grief and loss:

“It’s not even something I have to think about... Think about him every day... I still catch myself talking to him.” (B, 13:04)

On sliding morality:

“I’ve been morally superior for so many decades, it’s got me nothing.” (A, 20:16)

On 21+ drinking laws for Down Syndrome adults:

“Where do you draw the line? Should Gidham not be allowed to get alcohol?” (A, 15:52)

On VC box ethic erosion:

“But it’s not even that. Because now ratings aren’t just that. They add in plus one, plus three, then plus seven...” (B, 06:47)

On accidental confessions:

“Sleeping in the driveway is an odd choice.” (B, 30:08)

On convention life:

“At cons, you do make friends very quickly—even in the first ten minutes.” (C, 85:15)

On outmoded tech skills:

“Are you still computer savvy or have those days long gone? Like, technology is surpassing that.” (B, 47:47) “I did. I mean, it's a lot to absorb, you know?” (D, 49:19)

On inappropriate audience questions:

“Who says this doesn’t feel like a... oh my God.” (C, 79:43) “Eat the card.” (Old-school approach to “anti-bullying” cards, B, 53:54)

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Closing Moments: PSA on Sage-Inspired Scams

[121:51]

• Walt warns fans: anyone posing as “Sage” and asking for gas money is a scam—she drives a Tesla!
• Get’em: “If you get an email from me asking for gas money, that’s 100% legit... but still don’t give it to me.” (D, 122:19)

Final line:

“Tell ‘em, Steve-Dave.” (A, 122:26)

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Summary

Episode #664 encapsulates everything TSD excels at: quick-witted group storytelling, off-beat takes on everyday (and not-so-everyday) mishaps, inside-baseball fandom, gentle ribbing, unexpected empathy, and a commitment to keep it real—even when it means admitting to moral lapses, nap-related misadventures, and the odd con-induced bender. The “Con Stories” game showcases Ming both as myth and everyman, while the group’s chemistry—bolstered by Ming’s return—brings energy to tales both mundane and absurd.

Notable Segments:

• [03:30] – Ming's return, winter blues, and life reflections
• [05:33] – Impractical Jokers’ record ratings & Jericho podcast
• [12:43] – Pet loss, grief, and emotional support
• [19:07–32:00+] – The epic VC box miscommunication
• [33:04, 34:44, 52:32] – Morality, piracy, and tech anxiety
• [69:18–121:34] – The full “Con Stories” game, surprising truths

Tone:
Warm, darkly funny, generous with self-mockery, occasionally touching, and always ready to go for the laugh—no matter how lowbrow or inside-jokey.

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For first-timers:
This episode is an especially good jumping-off point for new listeners: It reacquaints you with recurring personalities, inside jokes, and the group’s capacity for both crude hilarity and sudden sincerity.
For long-time ants: Loaded with deep-cut references, callback pay-offs, and as always, new stones unturned.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, real quick before the show starts. If you've lost a pet and your heart feels heavier than anyone seems to understand, you're not out there alone. The grief after losing an animal companion can be just as deep and life altering as losing a person. But many people are told to just move on or it was only an animal. Certified pet loss grief coach Carrie Kananza can help people navigate the heartbreak, guilt, anger, and silence that often follow the loss of a beloved pet. Together, she will create a safe space to talk about your pet, honor the bond you shared, and learn how to carry the love forward without feeling stuck in pain. There is no timeline for grief and there's nothing wrong with you hurting this much. If you're ready for support that truly understands pet loss, she'd be honored to walk with you. As someone who has walked this path myself, I understand the feeling of total devastation and heartbreak. She offers one on one virtual sessions memorial support grief tools designed specifically for pet loss. Carrie Cananza is a certified pet loss grief coach and the founder of Healing Paws and Support. She offers gentle support through the journey of pet loss. If your heart is hurting and you don't want to carry it alone anymore, contact her when you're ready. All aunts get 25% off Carrie services and she can be reached at 520-314-0613 [e-mail] that's H E L I n g P a w s b y c a r r I e Mail. Thank you. The genie's out of the bo. The Internet. Just everybody.

[B]

Come on, man. Jimmy.

[A]

What'd you guys talk about?

[C]

Not tell him Steve Dave. I'll tell you that much. Nary a mention from what I'm told.

[A]

Tell him, Steve Dave.

[C]

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave. I look around this table, I see so many handsome faces. We got a full house today. We got bq.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

We got Walt.

[A]

Yo.

[C]

We got the newly rehabbed. Get him. How you stanking and fan favorite Ming Chen.

[D]

Hello, everybody.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, man. You've been on a bit lately. You have been on in some time and now we're. We're really getting a treat with you showing up like this.

[D]

Yeah, I'm around. I'm here.

[C]

Like the old days.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Feels good.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I asked him to come back because I saw how energized BQ was with Ming here a couple weeks ago and

[B]

I was not wrong.

[A]

I don't know. I'm not even making a joke. I Was like, I just saw like a glint in his eye I hadn't seen in a while.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And, you know, I. I don't, you know if it was propping me up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I. I said to myself, man, we got to get Ming Chen in here more to get. To get Q, you know, get that pep in a step.

[B]

Yeah, I need it. I actually today was the first day that I woke up and didn't feel like, you know, blowing my brains out. So to walk in here and then to see Ming, I was like, I'm supercharged for the weekend now.

[A]

Oh, you. You were. You've been on that lower.

[B]

It's totem pole. The fucking winter is. I mean, this is the most brutal winter we've had in quite a while. It's grinding me down.

[A]

You guys don't like the cold, right?

[B]

It's the cold. I hate it. It's the darkness, the dreariness at all. I went to Key West a few times this month already. It was 50 and raining every time. I was getting no breaks. It's just like. Just a grind, man. But I mean, Chen's here now. Yeah. Nothing to worry about.

[A]

It's like a balmy breeze.

[B]

You're damn right. I that with no sarcasm at all, man. He makes me happy.

[D]

That's insane. Warren. You love Key West.

[B]

Yeah, but I love you.

[D]

I appreciate that.

[B]

I love you longer than I've loved Key west, actually.

[D]

I appreciate that. It's been almost 30 years now. It's been 30 years.

[B]

It's been more. It's been 30 years now. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Actually, this is. I was 19 when we met, and I'm going to be 50 in March.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah. God, it's all going by so fast.

[C]

I know. You start doing the math, you're like, oh, no, I was spending all this time hanging out with Ming Chen.

[B]

What the fuck did I do?

[E]

God damn it.

[A]

Give me your life.

[D]

I wasted my life.

[B]

There's a line in Star Trek that always struck me that where a Picard goes, there's more. You know, you hit a point where there's more days behind you than ahead of you. And that line never meant anything to me. But now, oh, it's weighing in.

[C]

You're gonna get a tattoo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Come on, man, you're losing it. Ming Chen's here. You right, no more talk like that.

[B]

You're absolutely right.

[D]

Yeah, I love Ming Chen. Podcast Bluechew.

[B]

Yeah, you got that right.

[C]

Funny. As you mentioned Bluech, we're going to be talking about them later on. First, I think it's congratulations are in order for somebody at this table. Bq.

[B]

Me again.

[C]

You again, Q.

[B]

All right, what happened now?

[C]

I happen to see that the Jokers had their biggest episode ever in the 20.

[B]

Ratings wise, with.

[C]

Ratings wise. Especially in the 25 to 54 coveted demographic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Nobody knows why. Network's like, we don't know what the fuck's going on, but let's just roll with it. So it's. It's good.

[A]

Well, that's great.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And that didn't pick you up.

[B]

You know, it, you know,

[D]

just means

[B]

I'm probably going to do more. So, you know. You know, but no, it's a great. I mean, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's not really heard of really, For a show this long and this old. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, like, it's unprecedented.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's new territory.

[B]

Yeah. Nobody knows how to really talk about it, so. I know it's not getting a race.

[C]

Special guest.

[B]

No, it was just. Just.

[A]

Just a normal episode.

[B]

Normal episode.

[A]

Not a premiere or anything. Just to add it.

[B]

Like, it was the second half of the season and it hadn't been on for a few weeks, but the ratings are getting stronger each week.

[A]

Was it during a snowstorm where people were inside?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, maybe across the country. Maybe they were like, they were searching.

[B]

That'd be cool.

[A]

Something to watch.

[B]

But it's not even that. It's like. It's not even that. Because now ratings aren't just that. The first day they add in plus one, plus three, then plus seven. Like, because you add up all the people who watch it on streamyard or. No, this isn't even counting Stream.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

And then you find out, like, we're in the top 10 streaming on Max, too. It's fucking wild.

[C]

Look at this guy. He's unstoppable.

[B]

Unstoppable

[D]

Fireman. Boom shakalaka.

[B]

We haven't. But it's, you know, it's, it's, it's great. It's nice. It's. It's, it's nice to hear.

[D]

It is. And this is season 1314.

[B]

I think technically it's still season 12.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Still. But it's all a matter of life.

[D]

That's awesome.

[C]

Series. Big growth on tbs. Look at Q. Look how happy he is in that picture.

[B]

That's a genuine smile there.

[C]

Yeah. Him and Sal.

[B]

Yeah. Because we were shooting at Tompkins Bagel, which is such a great place to shoot because people are so Nice. And they send me home with bagels. Bagels. So that's what that smile looks like. I just got a picture of Ming on the. On the monitor that we look at.

[D]

Smiles. Everybody smiles.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

You want to buy an 8 by 10 of them? I can say one.

[B]

Yeah, you got it. Yeah. No, it's great. It's. It's great. But thank you. Please, let's stop talking about me.

[C]

All right, well, we can't, though, because along with Cheers. Yes.

[B]

Oh, it was a setup.

[C]

There's some jeers.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

A little bird was tweeting in my ear. One of my spies tells me that Q was on a big podcast. Jericho.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

How was that?

[B]

Yeah, you know, I've known Jericho a long time. I have been on before. I think this is my third time on.

[C]

It's a big podcast, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What'd you guys talk about?

[C]

Not Tom Steve, Dave, I'll tell you that much. Narya mentioned, from what I'm told,

[B]

you can't mention everything. I guess I didn't know. You want me to mention Tom Steve?

[D]

Of course.

[C]

Of course we want to.

[A]

We would like to have Jericho on tsd.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because he's a big podcaster.

[D]

Do you even know what Chris Jericho is?

[A]

No. I know he's supposed to be a wrestler, though.

[B]

Yeah, he's a great guy.

[A]

I know that guy. Actually, I know that guy. He's on tv, too. Like.

[B]

Aw. Yeah.

[A]

I think he was in a Kevin Smith movie.

[B]

Yes, he was. He was like you.

[D]

You're in that movie with him. You're in a movie with him. Just not the same scene. But you're in a movie with him.

[E]

He's wearing a TSD hat.

[B]

Yeah, you know, I'm always representing.

[A]

Oh, he is wearing a hat.

[C]

He's wearing the hat.

[A]

Come on. You got to give him that much.

[C]

I'll give him that. He likes that hat, though.

[B]

I wear, you know, our stuff on the show on. You know, it's the highest rated show that you. That, you know.

[C]

1.65 plus 3.

[B]

How am I gonna beat people over?

[A]

Is it the head? Is it.

[C]

I won't talk about. Let me talk about my other podcast for an hour.

[A]

Now, do you guys talk a lot of wrestling, or is it not even a little wrestling?

[B]

A little bit wrestling, but no, he's more just asking me questions.

[A]

I Like in an interview.

[B]

It's bullshit, you know, it's just sitting around.

[A]

Did he ask you any hard hitting, like, kind of like any gotcha questions?

[C]

Softball or.

[A]

All softballs.

[B]

It's not even softballs. It's just. It's just a conversation, you know what I mean?

[D]

He.

[B]

He's. Because we're, we're, you know, we know each other, so it's not really.

[E]

Are you.

[A]

Would you guys. Would you consider him like a friend?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not an acquaintance. He's a friend.

[B]

I would put him above acquaintance.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm a fan of his too, so, you know, I like. He's one of my favorite wrestlers.

[A]

Is he a top 10 wrestler for you in history?

[B]

Oh, he's in top five. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Top five.

[B]

Top five.

[D]

Top five.

[A]

What the fuck you doing over here, motherfucker? You sleeping?

[E]

I'm staring at his eyes.

[A]

Shut you up.

[D]

He's a very big comic book and fan too, so.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

He said he used to take flights all the time. It would be on the. In flight entertainment. It'd be on the menu and he would watch us taking.

[A]

He looks like he may have lost some mass since he wrestled. Huh? He looks like he slimmed down quite a bit.

[B]

He's not done wrestling. I think he's gonna come. He's kind of coming out swinging for one more run. But he's in great shape.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's. I'm not saying disparaging his shape, but he doesn't look like the roided out kind of wrestler.

[B]

But he never really was.

[C]

Never was.

[B]

He's always. He's. He's been bigger than this, I guess. But yeah, he's. He's never been like the Giant.

[E]

Like, if he does come on a pod, don't ask him when last time he brought it out was.

[D]

He's also our age. He's in his 50s, so. Yeah, you gotta.

[A]

I gotta what?

[D]

Well, I mean, he's, he's, he's older, you know.

[A]

Okay. You know you can still wrestle in your 50s.

[B]

Sure, sure. He is one of the best ever. He might be the best ever on a mic in terms of talking shit and on my phone. Like that side of wrestling where you got to get in the ring and like.

[D]

Yeah, the promos are.

[A]

Promo crowd, you mean, Right?

[B]

He is. Honestly, he might be the best that ever did it. He's great. He's great.

[A]

Better than Andre.

[B]

Who?

[A]

The Giant.

[B]

Andre. Giant mumbled into a microphone in half French, half English.

[A]

George the Animal Steel.

[B]

Yeah. Somehow

[A]

with his green tongue.

[B]

Yeah. He's got kabuki. He can take the people because he does it with humor. Yeah.

[A]

The Kabuki warrior Coco Beware spit the green.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The green powder out of his Mouth.

[B]

They're still doing this. It is. Oscar now does that. And she's part of the Kabuki Warriors.

[D]

Kabuki.

[B]

Yeah. Well, there you go.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

All right. Well, he was out and about. He's out.

[A]

But he's. But as many as. I know you want to jeer him, but he's still. He's still here, though. He could have joined Jericho's pod.

[C]

That's true. I didn't consider that.

[D]

Yeah, it's like a Russian spy or something.

[E]

Double agent.

[B]

Well, there you go.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I don't know. It was good.

[C]

On a personal note, I want to thank people for being so nice about Princess Mitch. I put some pictures up on Instagram and a lot of people commented, like, a lot of people. And they're very nice about it.

[B]

Sweet.

[C]

So I appreciate that. And I was wondering, though, like, how long was it before. Unless it's still going on. You didn't think about Benjamin Cat every day?

[B]

Oh, no, I still think.

[C]

I still think about him every day.

[B]

Without a doubt.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's not even. It's not even something I have to think about. Yeah. Think about him every day. I still. It's so funny. It's like, I'll still, like, you still catch me from time to time talking to him.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, because his ashes are in my living room, so I'll be like, you know, this shit sucks. Benjamin and I have, like, one of those digital frames.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Just changed photos of him.

[C]

Oh, that's cool.

[B]

So it's just like. He's just there.

[C]

He's always there.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I was going through pictures yesterday, and. Yeah, there she is. That one. That one didn't come out the way it was supposed to. You were supposed to see the whole

[A]

cat

[D]

cut off by the aquarium.

[C]

Yeah. I missed that little black nose.

[B]

Yeah. It's a great marking.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. 12 years old, you said?

[C]

Yeah, about 12.

[A]

Like a pumpkin nose.

[C]

Little pumpkin nose. Yeah. Like it's cut out like a jack o' lantern.

[B]

Yeah, it's cool.

[C]

Yeah. That was her last night right there, hugging you. Good cat.

[E]

See those claws dug in.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Holding on for dear life.

[A]

Poor cat.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Yeah. So anyway, so that got me to thinking about, you know, Princess Mitch. I'm like, who's responsible for the epithet on your gravestone? Like, can you write your own?

[B]

Mine is written.

[C]

Yours. Already written.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Please don't shit here.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I don't want to. I don't reveal yet, but the. It's already been laid out. Yeah.

[C]

Because I was thinking, like, if I wrote, like, never was a bad word said about him.

[B]

I think it's awesome.

[C]

It's not true. But who's going to fucking argue with

[B]

who's going to remember that Stone will be there for 500 years.

[C]

Yeah, people, like, people in the next generation will be like, wow, this must have been some guy as they're visiting my grave for whatever reason.

[B]

You remember the end of the Royal Tenor Box when he'd walk one day. Gene Hackman's gravestone, and it said, died saving his family from a burning battleship.

[C]

Oh, yes.

[B]

It's great. That's great.

[C]

Okay, what do we got here? Let's see. Oh, my God. Siege. Her birthday is Sunday. We're recording this on Friday. She's gonna be 20.

[B]

20.

[C]

Shit. 20 years old in her 20s.

[A]

Next year she can go drinking.

[C]

Yeah, she's talking about it. Talking about partying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is she allowed to drink legally now?

[C]

I think so, yeah. Really legally. I found several bottles of schnapps in a room. Well, she's, She's. She has tasted illegally.

[B]

Yeah, well, she wanted.

[C]

She wanted to taste sangria, which he liked, but then Marybeth had some other drink and she wanted to taste it and she was like, yeah, like, it was like battery ass.

[B]

But people with down syndrome could belly up to the bar and order a drink as long as they're 21.

[C]

I think. As long as they're 21. Yeah, you're allowed do whatever you want. All right, So I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, because where do you draw the line at? What condition then can you not serve somebody, like, should get him. Be not be allowed to get alcohol?

[C]

I would say so.

[B]

I would say so.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

At this point.

[A]

He's been dry for a long time now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm waiting for Super Bowl. I'm waiting for Super Bowl.

[A]

That's when all. That's when the dam breaks. Next Sunday.

[B]

Yeah, I see it.

[A]

Next Sunday, Lotto City. Yeah, Super Bowl.

[D]

Potto City.

[E]

Going over. Yeah, going over. I'm going to go ham on the natty.

[D]

What's the over under on alcohol poisoning.

[A]

Like, how long it takes.

[D]

Like, can we get on DraftKings and probably use Coach Estates price pick.

[E]

I'm probably just going to go like, you know, you know, Bud Lights or something.

[A]

Now, why did you set this arbitrary date of Super Bowl Sunday?

[E]

Well, whenever I would usually do drink dry January in the previous years, and then that's when I would break. It was Super Bowl Sunday.

[A]

Now, why did you give yourself a January with no alcohol for seemingly a couple years now. You've done this.

[E]

I literally, I heard it on the radio one day when I was like, I was back in the jeep, up leaving Debbie's and they were talking about dry January on 1010 wins and I'm like, I go, what is that? And I googled it. I'm like, oh, okay. I said it sounds like something to, you know, strive for. So I did.

[A]

And they say that, you know, marketing doesn't work. He just heard it randomly and now he's been doing it for the last 10 years.

[C]

But it's. What is it?

[B]

I know bartenders who are like, January, so slow for them. Plus I figured it's a thing.

[E]

Yeah, it would pwn people because they're like, oh, he's an alcoholic. He can't stop drinking.

[A]

At the end of the day, it's always about pwning in someone's face in his head. Only nobody knows they're getting pwned.

[C]

He knows.

[D]

Is that your gravestone? I get him, Steve. Dave, he didn't drink in January. That's right.

[E]

No, it's gonna be. I pwned you.

[B]

Why do you think people would choose January not to drink? When I find it's the month I most need the drinks?

[E]

I think probably because of like New Year's resolutions and everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's the easiest month though.

[B]

Warm out, you could go hang just

[A]

because there's so much going on in other months though, to drink though in the summertime, you're at barbecues, you know, Thanksgiving, November, Christmas, December, 4th of July, New Year's Eve, February, you know, you go out on a date for Valentine's Day, you're going to get a drink.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Gotta put the roof in something now.

[C]

Is there any part of you that's like, maybe I'll just stop drinking altogether? You're losing weight. You're looking better.

[B]

No, you are looking better.

[E]

No, I enjoy drinking.

[C]

Do you?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Gotta get your drink.

[B]

How many things you want to take from this man?

[C]

I mean, I guess you're right.

[D]

Gotta survive somehow.

[A]

I wanted to ask you guys, there's. There was a bit of a communication breakdown in the office this week and it turned into a bit of a to do.

[B]

Oh, kerfuffle.

[A]

And I want to see what your guys opinions where you guys weigh in and on who was at fault for this, this problem that happened.

[B]

So I know who's gonna end up.

[A]

I want you to be honest. If I'm wrong, you could say, hey, I, I could take it and I'LL be like, all right, I was wrong. So I told you guys about my VC box, right?

[B]

Your DC box. Oh, yes, yes.

[A]

We don't want to use that word, illegal.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And a lot of. A lot to chew on after last episode.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, you put some sobering thoughts into my head and I had to ponder, you know, I had a. A lot to chew on as, like, you know, do I want to be, you know, morally superior to anybody? You know, any room I walk into,

[C]

I would say yes. I mean, ever since I've known you,

[A]

or do I want. Or do I want to have free access to every sporting event on the planet? I had to, like, what's more important to me? Being morally superior in any room I walk into or being able to watch Mary Tyler more? I have this great box. And I decided, you know, I've been more or less superior for so many decades, it's got me nothing.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

I'd rather have the box.

[A]

So I had Gidham and Tommy Lincoln put their heads together and they have fortified my house now too. I can have the box. And I got so many messages. As many messages as you got about Princess Mitch. I got like, you're going to be on a terrorist watch list. Terrorists are going to take your identity. You know, you're going to have your savings, are going to be wiped out, yada, yada, yada. So we got it situated. It's on a Mohamed Flanagan.

[C]

You got to keep an eye on this guy, Walt Fallujah.

[A]

And this took two visits to my house from Gidem to do this, to solidify and fortify my. I mean, I have a digital titanium shield around my house now. I don't think that any way that any malware, as they call it, is gonna be able.

[B]

Tommy Lincoln thinks that as well, and get him, sure, but Tommy Lincoln does.

[A]

So it took two visits, and the first visit was last week. I came into the office, I said, hey, I want you to run, take a ride with me to my house and look into it.

[C]

Me?

[A]

Do I bring him back? So this week I sent him a text on Tuesday. And I said, hey, I need you to come by my house later today and look at something. And I said, I'll be in at 2:30. And he writes back, okay. So I get to the office, I come upstairs, he's not here, which is not a big deal. I figured he must be out or he's in the bathroom or he's at Wawa. So I sit down. I'm just, you know, killing time, drawing or Whatever. And you know, it starts to be like 3, 3:15, 3:30. And I get a text from my wife and she goes, do you know that Gidham's here? And I was like, ah, fuck. I was like, all right, put him on the phone. I said, give him your phone and put him on your phone. I said. She goes, I can't. He's sleeping in his car in the driveway. Pull up my wife's text, please.

[C]

He's in his car.

[A]

Do you know Gidem is at our house? No. Put him on the phone. He's in his car. Tell him to come in and let him use your phone. He is sleeping. I'll leave now. What the fuck is he doing sleeping? I don't know why he's there. I said I'd be in at 2:30 to pick them up. So then I. So I left. And I get to. I get to my house now it's fucking minus zero outside. His car's not on. He's just in a cold car sleeping for over an hour. I pull up, he's still sleeping. And it's that kind of sleep where your mouth is wide open like, you know, you look like you could be

[B]

dead as well as you could hear property value dropping all over the neighborhood as people.

[A]

And all I do is I just walk by and I just go. I just hit the. I just hit the windshield and walk in. Cause like, what the fuck is he doing? So tell them.

[B]

Which is funny because from his perspective, he was there to do you a favor and waited an hour around for you.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Why the fuck did he knock on the door? Why did he just say, oh, his car's not here. Oh, well, I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep?

[C]

It's an unusual decision. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I could see from your text here where his confusion comes from.

[A]

So you think I'm at fault here? My wife thinks I'm at fault.

[B]

I think this is. You wrote, I need you to come over my house later, get him rights. When you say I'll be in around 2:30. If I read that, I could easily see he thought you meant you'll be at your house at 2:30.

[A]

But the week prior I picked him up.

[E]

Though it's two weeks prior.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, it wasn't. It was only one week.

[B]

I'm just saying there's room for the mistake here. I think it'll work. But the second he gets there.

[E]

The other thing was. The other thing was he had jury duty this past week.

[A]

I told you that. On Friday at jury Duty Monday.

[E]

Yeah. And I texted you on Tuesday, and the entire state shut down on Monday. So anyone would think that everything that was happening Monday would then happen on Tuesday.

[B]

No, it doesn't work like that. Then what was supposed to happen on Tuesday? It gets pushed to Wednesday.

[E]

Jury. Well, jury duty is for the week.

[B]

Okay. All right. Maybe. Sure, sure.

[E]

So I thought he.

[A]

I never mentioned jury duty to you in the text.

[D]

No.

[E]

You know, before, you had mentioned it on Friday. Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And a couple days before. So I thought you got out at 1 o'. Clock. Because at 1 o' clock they're like, okay, we're not pulling any more juries today. Everyone's free to go.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

And that by the time he got back home, it would be 2:30. So I got to his house at 2:30, 2:31. And I said, okay, I'm just gonna sit here till he pulls up.

[B]

So far, I get where he's coming from.

[A]

There's three cars in the driveway, though.

[E]

I'm one of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So he knows someone's home, all of that.

[B]

It's just like. Why didn't you just text him and be like, I'm here?

[E]

Yes, Because I thought he was gonna pull up and I don't wanna text him while he's driving.

[B]

That's where things start to fall apart. Because, like. What are you talking about?

[E]

Cause I thought he's gonna be here in like a minute or two. So I just was sitting there and then I got tired and I fell asleep.

[A]

You literally fell asleep instantly.

[E]

It sounds like I fell asleep after all. For five minutes.

[A]

That's instantly in most people's definition, pretty quick.

[C]

I'm talking like, if you're. Yeah. In the space of an hour. Five minutes is instantly.

[E]

I'm recovering. I'm building bone. I'm rebuilding muscle.

[A]

I'm rebuilding Jo.

[B]

God.

[A]

You fucking trying to garner sympathy?

[B]

I'm not.

[E]

It's what's happening.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, look, the. The real issue here is the falling asleep. Because once he falls asleep, he's not really responsible for what happens while he's asleep. Like, he was asleep. I don't know why he didn't text you when he got there, is my question.

[E]

Because I thought he was. I thought he'd be, like, right behind me.

[B]

Did you know you were going to go to sleep? Were you like, let me take a nap or do you just.

[E]

No, no, I was just. I was just sitting there and it just slowly happened.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, so you're like a cat? Like, on a heated floor, but the,

[C]

the I'll be in around 2:30 would lead me to believe. Like you're not. Like, I'll be in like my house. Like I would be in the house.

[A]

I'll be home at 2:30.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Is the biggest.

[E]

I need you to come over my house.

[B]

Yeah. The location is stated in the first sentence.

[A]

But I'll be in around 2:30 is not. I'll be home at 2:30. I'll be in at 2:30.

[E]

Like if you had wrote this. I'll pick you up around 2:30.

[B]

Did you do an AI version of the correct text?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Because this is what I was thinking about all night long.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, I could.

[A]

I got for this confusion.

[B]

I don't think there's any fault to be blamed until ghetto gets to the house and doesn't text you. To be honest, like I said, I

[E]

thought he'd be knock on the door.

[A]

Why not just clarify before though? Why not just get. Make. Make certain like I'm doing what I should be doing. Why not just get.

[E]

I thought I was. I thought I was.

[A]

No, you're assuming all this shit.

[E]

I asked when.

[A]

I am assuming you're at jury duty. I'm assuming you get out at 1. I'm assuming I've been at jury.

[E]

I do. I know what the kind of the schedule is like in jury duty.

[A]

You don't even know if I got called in though.

[B]

The real shocking thing that this, this has blown up to this level.

[A]

Who's that balding?

[D]

I mean, first of all, did. Did confusion like this happen between you and Mike Zapsyk back in the day? Because if it did, I can see why you guys are so mad at each other now.

[A]

No, I'll give Mike this much, he would not at least ask for more details. He would be like, hey, just to be certain, boss, am I coming to your house or are you coming here?

[D]

Yes. He's very good at clarification.

[A]

That would be, I think, the normal response to somebody who has any questions.

[E]

I've driven to your house multiple times. You've told me to come to your house when I've come to your house.

[A]

Who's that fault? You hear me?

[D]

I think based on the last interaction where you took it from here.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Which was weeks ago, just after I got out of rehab.

[D]

Two weeks ago.

[E]

The last.

[A]

It was the prior week to this sleeping incident.

[E]

No, it was two weeks earlier.

[A]

No, it wasn't.

[E]

Yeah, because you recorded last week and you got the C box a week before that, which is when I came over and set Up.

[A]

All right. Maybe it was two weeks ago.

[C]

Vindication. I mean.

[D]

Yeah, I know we're not the same person. I would. When I got there, I would have been like, I'm here.

[A]

Would you go to sleep?

[D]

I wouldn't just automatically fall asleep without attacked.

[E]

Like, I saw your daughter was there and your wife was there, and I'm like, I don't want to, like, have them have to entertain me. Like, I don't know if they can, like, just sit me in a room and they'll be okay with that or.

[A]

That's why I said, well, put them on the phone. I assume that when she said, he's at our house, that you were in the house. I was like, put him on your assuming.

[E]

See?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I. Yeah, again, I would assume that a normal person would knock on the door, not just roll over and go to sleep.

[C]

Yeah. I think also, like, I think. I feel like the whole, like, I'll be in. You should have clarified as opposed to just assuming, because I would think, like, hey, I'll be in. Is the office. I'll be home. Is at home. Yes, that's what I would assume. I know we're all assuming stuff. That's what I would assume. And if I wasn't sure, I would have to.

[E]

I think it's safe to say there was some shared miscommunication and no one's really at fault. At fault. Like, I'm not blaming him for.

[B]

Right.

[E]

Like that. I sat there for an hour, and

[B]

ultimately, at the end of it, he did do what you needed and then. And then came back a second time.

[A]

Well, he's getting paid to do it.

[C]

Oh, come on.

[A]

He's doing it out of the kindness of his heart.

[B]

I forgot that part.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Sometimes I think David's down.

[B]

Oh, all right. Yeah. The wrapping paper is now nice. Yeah. Yeah. He is getting paid to do that. I forget about that. It seems like. It seems like kind of like it was just miscommunication, maybe.

[A]

I know it was miscommunication. I'm not saying it was.

[B]

Sleeping in the driveway is an odd choice.

[A]

Yeah, it is really weird.

[B]

It is.

[E]

I get him. I'm. Lately, I've been very tired because of the bones growing.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. I know.

[E]

I had been taking a lot of protein.

[B]

Yeah, you bring it out every time I see you. I'm gonna start with you on this one, Walt. Okay, I'm gonna.

[D]

So I gotta give you the agenda.

[A]

Ming for Walt. Bry.

[C]

Yeah, for you on this one.

[A]

Frank also weighed in and said that Gideon was At fault because you.

[E]

I know you've been. I know you've been chopping this around before you brought it here.

[A]

The only person that has sided with you is my wife because she wants things that from you to. Like she wants you to work on her school projects that she needs.

[E]

No, because you know what it is? I think we think alike. I think your wife and I think alike on certain things. She definitely is.

[B]

Those are fighting words, man.

[A]

She definitely has fallen under the.

[E]

And we've dealt with you for years

[A]

the guise of that you are a genius. I cannot stop hearing this. Have you asked Gidham? Have you mentioned this to Gidham? You know, you're not as smart as Gidem and I should say he did

[E]

not clue his wife. He did not clue into his wife the danger that he was in because of this BC box, which if I had been there sitting and talking to her, she would have known about. And then I think you would have been in more trouble.

[A]

What if you had told her that all your concerns?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

We don't need to scare her too though.

[E]

See, then I was good by sitting outside not talking to her because I can only tell her $5 boot stories and cane stories for so long.

[C]

I disagree with that.

[B]

Well, what did you do when three o' clock hit? Did you text him? Him?

[A]

No, because I knew he wouldn't answer the phone. I knew he. I just got. I just got in my car and when my wife told me he's sleeping in the driveway, I got in my car and I drove back. That's when I. And I walked by. I just banged on the window. I walked in my house and it took him like 10 minutes to shuffle in from the driveway.

[C]

Oh, hey, Walt.

[A]

What are you doing here?

[C]

Where are you?

[B]

Been cartoon birds lofting on his fingers. Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And she came home today, my wife, and was like, can you do me a favor? Can you ask get him to see if he can somehow solve this problem? I have like, putting together this craft that she found online and I'm just like, that's why she's siding with you. Because she has a whole bunch of things that she wants to bounce off soft soaping them.

[E]

Yeah, but we did. We did solve his problem. So.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Nobody needs to send emails.

[A]

Email me anymore or post on Reddit or.

[B]

Yeah, but you've lost your.

[A]

I've lost the upper hand.

[B]

You have.

[A]

Yeah, I'm okay with that though.

[B]

What does it matter?

[A]

It hasn't really done me any good. I lord it above everybody. As long as I Could.

[D]

So this is all so you can pull up a Golden State with vs Utah Jazz game like, whenever you want?

[A]

Yes. Even though I'll never watch a basketball game.

[D]

Right. I got it. You can.

[A]

I can if you want to.

[C]

How does it work? Does it have, like, a controller there? Go from channel to channel.

[E]

You can even get a little keyboard for it. I was going to get him the keyboard.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

He's like. I'm happy just typing away with,

[D]

like, selecting each letter.

[E]

Yeah. There's a. We were looking through yesterday. It's a House MD channel. It just plays House 24 hours a day.

[B]

You have a use for that?

[E]

I would.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

It's one of those shows I used to, like, be on my day off, putting on and just, you know, you leave it on and then you just go and do what you got to do. Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

I never saw. But he was a druggie, right?

[E]

He was. He wasn't an addict to Viking and he needed Vicodin.

[C]

Right.

[E]

Because he had a muscle pain. Severe muscle pain.

[A]

The character or the actor?

[E]

The character.

[B]

Did he die at the end of that series or is it gonna be a House?

[E]

It's a spoiler.

[C]

Shows 25 years.

[B]

Yeah, just. Just nod or shake your head. Okay.

[A]

Spoiler alert.

[B]

Did you see Wonder Man?

[A]

I have it on my new VC box. I checked last night to see it and it's all eight episodes are there.

[B]

Okay, great.

[A]

Did you like it? I didn't watch it.

[B]

I saw the first episode. I really liked it.

[A]

I've heard really good things about it.

[B]

Yeah. First episode was solid. I have heard that it takes several turns throughout it. But what I saw in that first episode is good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Awesome, man.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

Ben Kingsley?

[A]

Wasn't he in Iron Man?

[B]

Yeah, he's playing that character.

[A]

Same character.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's really funny. And every once in a while people are like, aren't you a terrorist? He's like, no, it's good. So. So far, so good. That's great. And new Sam Raimi movie. Send help.

[C]

He directed.

[B]

Directed it. I saw it yesterday.

[C]

I went.

[B]

Sam Rainey is always first day filmmaker for me, man. Yeah. Not going to be my favorite favorite one ever, but it's Sam Raimi. Bruce Campbell's in there somewhere. The car's in there somewhere. Like, it's great, man. Maybe that's. Maybe that's responsible for why I feel a good mood today.

[A]

Because Sam Raimi and Ming Chen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All on the same day.

[C]

Just Sam Raimi now.

[D]

Yeah. Why am I getting mentioned the Same breath as a horror of cinematic genius.

[B]

Well, you are. You deserve it, buddy.

[E]

It's the pinball game in the movie.

[B]

No, no, it's not a. It's not that type of movie. Mostly takes place on an island.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Crash Land. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's that movie.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Rachel McAdams.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You saw it or going to.

[B]

I saw it. I saw it. First show, opening day.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

It's good. Yeah.

[A]

That trailer is so creative. I thought. I haven't seen a trailer like that in a while. It felt like. It feels like a. Felt like an exploitation movie almost.

[B]

It is not what it seems to be. Like, it takes turns in it that I didn't. That you don't see coming, you know? And Rachel McAd. It's so funny when they take gorgeous women, try and make them look ugly. It's like some glasses, like Michelle Pfeiffer and Batman Returns where you're like, are you kidding me? Perfect overalls. But it's great. It's great. And it's Sam Raimi. So it's got the demon shots through the woods and the blood and then.

[A]

And the mention in the trailer that it was a Sam Raimi movie.

[B]

I don't know why they wouldn't. That's what got me there.

[A]

That's weird. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I remember seeing the trailer and being like, wow, that looks pretty cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I just want to encourage people to go, because I just want him to get work forever. I mean, why wouldn't. He's a legend. But I wanted to make movies forever.

[C]

Sam Raimi. Send help.

[B]

Send help. All right, Go see it.

[C]

Check it out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Be nice to get out of the house, see a movie.

[B]

That's what I did. No one in the theater but me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

A theater totally alone.

[C]

That's a rarity. But it's fun when it happens.

[B]

And it's the theater where you could order food and they bring it to you.

[C]

So I was just ordering food, pressing that button.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. It was phenomenal.

[D]

Or cheese fries, please.

[A]

I'm gonna watch it tonight in my VC box.

[B]

No, come on, man. If you do that, tell me, because I'll buy a ticket. No, no, I have not.

[A]

I have not taken advantage or of the. The. Of the illegal aspects of, like, you know, like, camcorder. Camcordered movies.

[D]

Wait, that's on there? You can get first run movies?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

No.

[E]

Yeah, if you want to buy one.

[B]

Seeing someone else's morals slip away.

[A]

Oh, come on. This bootlegger.

[D]

Oh, yeah. When it comes to copyrighted material, Wait,

[E]

this doesn't contribute to the Practical Joker's ratings.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I'm getting.

[D]

Yeah, I bought like, my own TV show. What are you talking about?

[A]

Hey, did you get any fallback fallout from being on the last episode with. When you did the. When we talked about the.

[C]

Oh, the apology.

[A]

No contact, nothing.

[D]

Not. Not from the person we were talking about, no.

[B]

Have you talked to him at all?

[D]

No.

[C]

That seems like fallout to me.

[D]

No, he usually. He's offended. He'll call.

[B]

I didn't think there was going to be fallout. You. You all were pretty sure that he was going to have some. It didn'. I didn't feel that way.

[D]

Walt wants the fallout.

[A]

No, Juicy.

[D]

He wants.

[A]

Why would you.

[C]

Why would I want that?

[D]

Yeah. No, no fallout. Yeah. No, when he's. Yeah, when he's mad, he'll call immediately.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right, so this is sent. Help already.

[B]

No. Get out of here.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

It looks good.

[B]

It's not Minx.

[A]

I mean, it's not G's fault. It's out there.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

He didn't put it on there.

[B]

No, I'm not saying to me. I just. I don't like that it's even. That it's even up, though.

[D]

It's not shaking.

[A]

You can hear the audio, the genies out of the bottle, the Internet just fucking everybody.

[B]

Come on, man. He deserves respect. He deserves your money. This is what I'm talking about, though. This is how they make her look. And you're supposed to be like, she's gross. And you're like, she's not.

[C]

She's not in any way Helen Keller.

[E]

Helen Keller? No, she's a fraud.

[C]

I just want to wait until they show. Okay. Oh, how gross.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Really let her go.

[B]

Exactly. I mean, then they glow her up when she's on the beach. And she obviously looks fantastic, but this is their idea of not a good looking woman. It's funny.

[C]

Like, her hair is askew. She's got some glasses.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

She's got a big clip in her hair.

[C]

A must.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Nice try.

[C]

All right, well, go pay to see. Send help, please.

[D]

Go to the theater.

[C]

Do what get him does. Let's see, what do we got here? Got Ridge.

[B]

Oh, would you say, oh, dude, Ridge. I say Ridge, you say, oh, is this the one? You got one right there, baby. Oh, that is nice.

[C]

Keeps all my cards in there. A little money. Strip. Yeah, they sent me a new one.

[B]

They only sent one, huh?

[E]

Yeah. I thought you. Last week you said.

[C]

I probably sent you the link to get one and you guys never respond to it.

[B]

Oh, that's possible. Do you send it to Ellen? I sent it to me.

[C]

I always send it to you. Yeah, once I send it to Ellen.

[E]

I thought you said you had an extra one you were going to bring in to replace.

[C]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, I'll bring one in for you. I forgot. I'll bring it in next week.

[E]

That's a rich.

[B]

I have.

[E]

That's the Ridge Power bank that you paid for out of your own pocket, by the way.

[C]

Yes, I did.

[B]

Well, we got them.

[A]

I know, but I couldn't wait.

[C]

It's that good to charge up.

[A]

My devices are all dead and I'm like, what am I gonna do? I can't wait for a fucking Ridge to get here. I gotta buy it.

[B]

I just bought a new wallet too.

[A]

I paid for overnight shipping too.

[D]

Yeah, well, I almost bought one of those yesterday.

[A]

They're worth it.

[D]

Yeah. So what's the code, gentlemen? How do I get a discount?

[C]

That would be tesd. But let's see.

[B]

Nice segue.

[C]

The wallet that I had before Ridge. I don't even remember it. I think I had a money clip. I don't even have a wallet.

[E]

You forgot it. It was so traumatic.

[C]

Yeah. I've just pushed it out of my mind because Ridge is unique, slim, modern design that holds up to 12 cards plus cash.

[B]

This is a great wallet.

[C]

Made with premium materials like aluminum, titanium and carbon fiber.

[E]

Does it come with those big bills or.

[C]

No, those are extra 50 and a

[B]

bunch of 20s on the outside.

[E]

Why are you rocking on the outside?

[C]

That was money that I didn't spend in Florida. So just. Just carry it around.

[E]

Put the big bows on the inside.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I should put a dollar on the outside. You're right. Over 50 colors and styles to choose from. All Ridge products have a lifetime guarantee. This is literally the last wallet you'll ever have to buy. And Ming, it gives you peace of mind knowing it has RFID blocking technology. That's what I was going to ask those digital pickpocketers.

[D]

Yeah, I don't want my stuff stolen.

[E]

Mine doesn't.

[C]

Who wants their stuff stolen? Losing your wallet is the worst. But with the Ridge airtag attachment, you'll always know exactly where it is before panic mode kicks in. Ridge isn't just about wallets. They create premium everyday essentials like key cases, suitcases and rings. All built with the same sleek, durable design. I don't know why they're not talking about the Power Bank. They also have the Power Banks that Walt has. No matter what you pick, Ridge has free shipping, a 99 day risk free trial and lifetime warranty on all their products.

[E]

Wait, wait.

[A]

So you can find that wallet anywhere?

[C]

What's that?

[A]

You can track that wallet?

[C]

I don't have a airtag attachment on it, so I guess there are some potentially.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. Like you found the iPad. He would be able to find.

[A]

I lost my iPad. No, On Christmas Eve, I was getting the dogs in the car and I put my iPad on the roof of my car. I didn't bring it in. I forgot. And then later on that night, I was like, I was trying to find my iPad and I go to track it and it says it's on. It's on Highway 35 by Wendy's.

[D]

Oh, I must have fell out of

[A]

the car, I said, because I was over at Wendy's and I drove over there and I couldn't find it and I gave up. Gidem went the next day and found it in the highway. Just remnants of it as it was just ripped to shreds.

[C]

Run over. That sucks.

[D]

Wait, what? The find by the tracker was still working.

[E]

No.

[D]

Last known location.

[A]

Last known location.

[D]

But you made him play frogger through Highway 35.

[A]

It was on Christmas morning. He did it so there was no traffic. Yeah, I told him, you know what? Before you go to your dad to celebrate Christmas, see if you can find my destroyed iPad.

[C]

Go get around to the highway.

[D]

Did you make him pick up all the pieces?

[A]

Of all the pieces? Yeah, I brought it to.

[E]

So I got. We had. We had the logic board.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So what does that mean?

[E]

So where the memory chip? No, no.

[B]

But what is. I know that, but what does it mean that you have it?

[E]

That he. If it's possible to recover it, then that's the best way to have. Have it recovered, which is really fucked

[A]

up, is that I don't care about anything on the iPad other than my artwork, because it didn't. None of my art went to the cloud since April and I don't know why. So I lost so many months of hard work. Yeah. So that's why I was so bummed out and I brought it to a repair shop in Lincroft and they said a minimum of two grand.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

Fuck it.

[B]

Yeah, but they can get it.

[C]

Like, they could.

[A]

There's no guarantee. But the piece that Gid em found was not in bad shape. They said it's possible that. Yeah, yeah, we could absolutely take this little chip out and put it in a new iPad. But it's intensive Work. And it's possible that all the files could be there.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

But two grand?

[A]

Two grand, Though that's not even certain that two grand would even cover. It might even be more than two grand. So I was like. I had to let that go. He did tell me to throw the other pieces out that get him found because. Poisonous lithium.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. I was trying to figure out why my car was smelling like strawberries, and it was because of the battery.

[C]

Made him go to sleep.

[D]

Toxic fumes.

[C]

Strawberries.

[A]

Just licking the fucking debris.

[C]

Licking the air.

[E]

Well, that's what I was like.

[C]

I had an.

[E]

I had one of those little air fresheners in the can, and I thought it popped open, but then I was like. I was like, just. Do lithium batteries smell like strawberries? And like, yes, you should get rid of it right away.

[A]

But I'm surprised that that has the ability to be tracked, though.

[C]

Well, I think you have to have some sort of attachment for it. This one doesn't have the attachment.

[A]

Why did you get the attachment?

[C]

I don't know. They sent it to me. I didn't have the choice. They just gave it.

[D]

You know what the airtag looks like, right? It's a little button. Looks like a little button. Just slide it in there.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

So, wait, how much effort did you put into looking for it when you went on the highway?

[A]

Oh, hours.

[B]

Hours?

[A]

Yeah, because it was Christmas Eve, so there was no traffic. Right. I walked up and down the highway.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

And I. On both sides.

[D]

How did he find it so fast?

[A]

He looked. He went in the daytime.

[D]

Oh, you were. You went in.

[A]

I went. Yeah. I didn't even have a flashlight.

[E]

Well, the first thing I found was the. The outer casing. And so then I walked backwards from there, and about 100ft away, I found the.

[C]

Oh, my God. That really is torn up.

[E]

It's folded on itself.

[A]

Wow. But it stayed on my roof for so long, though. I didn't. I went to so many places, I

[E]

think because of the magnets that were in the case.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Like, if I had just known it was up there when I got out of two different spots before then. Right.

[E]

I could have saved it, but there's the. The chips in the processor and everything.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

And then, like a day or two later is when it snowed again and they plowed and salted, which would have destroyed it all.

[B]

Shit. Did you buy a new one yet?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice. That's a good.

[A]

It was such a bummer, though, when all my files finally. Yeah, like, I Guess what's it called when it mirrors it?

[E]

The Cloud. It went up to the cloud.

[A]

Everything it became, everything it became. My old iPad. My new iPad.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But then I was like, well, wait a minute. There's nothing on here since April. That was, like, devastating.

[B]

I remember that happened to me last year. Motorcycle, my phone fell off. And I don't back up to the cloud. And I lost all your photos. Benjamin's. Last month I missed. And Boris. First fucking year I missed.

[A]

How come you don't back up to the cloud? You intentionally don't.

[B]

Yeah, I just don't.

[A]

You don't trust it?

[B]

Not that I don't trust it, but I guess I don't trust it.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Mine was just pure, like, ignorance, I guess. I don't know why it didn't do it. Obviously I would have, but I have no idea why. From since April till December, it didn't. And anything I did didn't upload into the cloud.

[B]

I think it's all a scam. I think a backup or not they can get onto. If somebody wants to get on your phone from Apple, they're gonna be able to do it.

[A]

No, not anymore. Not at my place.

[B]

Yeah, not since.

[A]

Get him in.

[C]

Tommy's Electronic Fortress.

[D]

Firewalls.

[A]

Iron Dome, they call my house.

[D]

IP spoofing.

[A]

Like,

[D]

VPNs everywhere. Lasers.

[A]

I got a VPN.

[D]

You got VPN. Finally got VPN at his house.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

You should see this.

[D]

Never thought I'd see the day.

[A]

Yeah. I could take down a small country.

[D]

I see that.

[E]

Just so you can watch, like, Mary Tyler Moore. So he can watch a series he already has on dvd.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Are you still computer savvy or are those days long gone? Like, technology is surpassing that.

[A]

Passed him by a long time ago. Yeah, it's too. Right. I mean. Well, why don't you let him answer if you're not.

[B]

Hold on.

[C]

Before you answer.

[B]

Man.

[C]

Before you answer. For a limited time.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Yeah. Keep going.

[C]

Our listeners get off at Ridge.

[D]

We're still on Ridge.

[C]

By using code TESD at checkout. Just head to ridge.com and use code TESD and you're all set. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them that we sent you. All right, Ming.

[A]

But the very fact I didn't ask him one question about my VC box tells you everything about how I feel about his current knowledge of shit.

[E]

Because his relatives probably put it together.

[D]

Yeah. Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I can get whatever I need to whenever I Don't need a VC box.

[A]

No, no, I know, but are you up to date on all the tricks?

[C]

No.

[B]

When was the last website you made?

[D]

Oh, it's been years. Yeah, I stopped that.

[B]

But you could do it.

[D]

I could, yeah. Oh, absolutely.

[A]

Oh, yeah. But it would look like fucking, you know, 16 bit and shit.

[E]

No dancing. Baby Jesus.

[D]

Looks like when Walter White needed money.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Walter Jr. Like, donation funds under construction.

[B]

Chainsaw and Bob are at the top for some reason.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They're dancing around like, I don't know how to make it without it.

[D]

I can do whatever I need to.

[B]

Oh, come on.

[A]

There's no, like, it's like, comics, you know, I don't know anything that's going on in the comic world anymore. So you don't know anything that's going on in the tech world.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Because you went into a different field.

[D]

I did.

[A]

To the Comic Con, which I'm sure we have a game about Comic Cons today.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

We've got a game.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Get a game.

[B]

All right. I love that. I love a game.

[D]

Yeah. I'm not that.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

Do you feel like it's too much information to now absorb? It's a lot like, now you were like. It's too daunting to go. To be the guy that knows everything about.

[D]

It's a lot. Yes. Yeah.

[B]

But isn't it all templates now? Is it? Wouldn't it, hypothetically.

[D]

Yeah. It's all in a box now. Yeah.

[E]

You just hit a button AI.

[D]

Or you just run it through AI. And you're good.

[B]

Good.

[D]

Yeah. I can do anything now.

[B]

Do you think, like, people with your skill set now would be our AIs just gonna.

[C]

Them?

[B]

Like, is that what's going on?

[D]

More or less. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So you had the good days. You caught the salad.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

He was the perfect time to, like, you know, I think he could pluck from obscurity to be Kevin Smith's tech guy. Yeah.

[B]

If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here.

[E]

I think AI would help him more than it would someone who doesn't know anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Because at least he can cobble something together. If the AI goes down or messes up, he, like, he can know where to go back and fix and see what's wrong versus someone who has no knowledge.

[B]

He's got a bedrock of knowledge.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, wait a minute. That tag shouldn't be there or something like.

[D]

Sure.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

But,

[D]

yeah, it's all prompts now.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Put in A prompt, and it does it. Whatever you want.

[E]

It's horrible. Sometimes, though, it's like you ask it to do something. It's like, oh, no, that goes against our guidelines. We can't do it.

[B]

What are the guidelines? Because, like, every time you go anywhere, it's like, here's fucking Rocky Balbal while walking next to Sylvester Stallone, and you're like, how are they using his name?

[E]

You can make your own AI if you want to. You just need a powerful enough computer and you load certain libraries into it and you can make it and not have the guidelines, but commercially available sites have the guidelines in, so they're not getting nailed for copyright infringement and stuff.

[B]

Wait, so anybody could create their own?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, my God. So the genie's out of the bottle? Nobody?

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

All right.

[E]

But you know, like, you know, somebody.

[A]

Somebody's gonna come along and put the genie back in the bottle, though. Some fucking person's. He hasn't been born yet. I'm calling it right now. Okay, there will be a genie bottle stuffer.

[B]

But what does that mean? What do you think that means? What is that? What does that look like?

[A]

It's gonna be a fucking cold day in hell, you know, before you're gonna not be able to do any of this shit anymore. Once that. Once that person is born and figures out how to put the genie back

[B]

in the bottle and he. What, just destroys everybody's ability to use this stuff?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Probably be probably real traumatic.

[A]

That's okay. It's gotta be done.

[B]

We'll be dead.

[A]

No, maybe not. He has been. He hasn't been born yet. Doesn't mean he can't be born tomorrow.

[B]

Sure, but he's got to get to at least, what. What age before he's doing all that stuff?

[A]

Probably going to be a savant. Maybe like 12.

[B]

Oh, okay. All right. What is this?

[E]

I was trying to create an image of a post office that was entirely populated by Jimmy, and Chatgpt refused to do it because they're like, oh, it goes against our guidelines. So then I went to Google Gemini, and it totally did it.

[C]

Jimmy the hair guy texted me at 6 this morning. I was like, oh, man, it must be important. Something important. And he was like, hey, man, did you hear that? Or did you know that Ian McShane and Marilyn Manson are seen together in American Gods, a show that was on years ago?

[A]

Yeah, I think he's working overnights now, so.

[C]

Oh, is that it?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You couldn't tell me this at 10 in the morning? I told me it's 6.

[E]

Well, he did an hour long Q and A at work the other day.

[C]

Oh, yeah?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

On. On YouTube.

[D]

With himself?

[E]

No, like, people were asking him questions and he was answering him live. And I'm like, so that's why I was like, this is why the mail is so slow, because it's an entire.

[A]

And you were sleeping in my driveway at work. So it's not. You guys aren't that much,

[B]

is it? Yeah.

[E]

And you're.

[D]

You're up making these. Is AI Jimmy the hair guy pictures.

[B]

Isn't he afraid to, like, isn't that.

[E]

He's a government employee. No.

[B]

Really?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

He's classified, too, as having issues.

[E]

He's got a special card he gets to show, like, whenever they yell at him. And, like, they have to stop.

[D]

Oh, he's got an excuse.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Get out of jail free.

[C]

What did this world turn into?

[E]

He's got a gig chick, I believe.

[C]

You know, I totally like.

[A]

He just shows it. You can't be mean to him.

[C]

Which I thought as a kid, my parents. Every time Edgar's coming at me, like, pull the card.

[B]

Your father would have slapped that card right outside. Proceeded to beat you into a wall.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

Yeah. Not the gun.

[C]

That card's gonna save your ass, boy.

[B]

Eat the card.

[C]

Eat it.

[D]

Give me that card.

[B]

Oh, man. An anti bullying card. But also, what questions?

[A]

No, no, I meant the bosses can't, like, be.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I mean. What questions were they asking Jimmy?

[E]

Oh, I had no clue. I couldn't.

[A]

What's his favorite Juggalo album? Fan questions.

[B]

I think we should ask him if we could air this, because I think someone of the government's gonna be like,

[A]

nobody knows where he works.

[B]

This guy just said that he's doing a fucking Jimmy populated overnight thing at the post office.

[A]

Nobody knows what post office he's at

[B]

or in New Jersey.

[A]

It might not even be USPS. It could be FedEx or it could.

[B]

I think everybody knows.

[A]

So you think that the USPS is listening to Tom, Steve, Dave, the postmaster, and they're gonna be able to find.

[C]

They're watching the Jericho pod and they're

[A]

gonna know Jimmy the hair guy's real name is.

[B]

No, but you got fucking dickheads out there. You got, like, fucking people out there sharpening their knives. Like, anybody could be like, fuck Jimmy. And call the post office and be like, you know, your employees doing this on fucking my tax time.

[E]

They're going after me more than they're going after him.

[A]

Even know what his real name is. Is the. The listener base.

[B]

I know it's Jimmy.

[A]

I mean, Jimmy's work at the post office, if he even works at the

[B]

post office, but they. They. Hey, I'm just looking out for Jimmy, man.

[A]

Thank you so much, Q. I think. I think that card that he has.

[E]

That's.

[B]

It.

[A]

Is. Is enough. He's bulletproof.

[B]

I mean, I guess you could say it was his lunch hour.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

He's on break.

[B]

I think you're playing with fire, man. To publicly tell the government he's the

[A]

one putting himself in on YouTube.

[B]

You're right. You're right.

[D]

Like, hold on. All right, does he have any distinguishing characteristics? Like, while he's got juggler tattoos, he's got a Ming Chen Mike zapsic tramp stamp.

[E]

Like, oh, wait, you raise your shirt. No, not him. You raise the back of your shirt. No, not him.

[B]

He's on video. They don't need to do that. They just got a screen cap and be like, here he is.

[A]

Is the. Is the video still up or did he delete it?

[D]

At least I'm sure still up.

[A]

Hopefully he deleted it.

[D]

Wait, can you see mail behind him being sorted like packages?

[A]

Is he in uniform?

[B]

A police state. And, you know, he's fighting the power. There's no fighting the power. We've. There's no power.

[A]

That's how Jimmy fights the power.

[B]

There's no power the man at all. We've. We've. Everybody was afraid of the government turning into Big Brother. We've turned into Big Brother and fucking report on each other 24 hours a day. We're Big Brother.

[C]

Good point.

[B]

Yeah. Where? The fucking police state. We never needed the government to come in and fuck us. All you need is your fucking Karen next door.

[A]

I truly believe he probably was on his lunch break when he. When he posted this.

[B]

Okay. He's not.

[C]

His lunch breaks at quarter to 1 in the morning.

[A]

Well, if he works overnight, it's true.

[C]

It might be.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Goes on for 55 minutes.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

He has an hour break. All right, come on.

[B]

All right.

[D]

He came in under, so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, we're going to get Jimmy on next week.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

The next tsd to talk about.

[B]

Okay, I like that. Next week. Oh, the week after that. I'm not here. I'm away for like 10 days. Next week, I am around, and then the week after that.

[E]

What's your opinion of Mike?

[A]

Uh.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Get some volume on this.

[C]

Yeah. Let's hear what he has to say.

[D]

Whoa, there are no captions on this.

[A]

Let him go watch the Video.

[D]

Yeah. Jimmy the hair guy. Full QA if you need to search for this, it's that important.

[B]

What's his name? T, E, S, D, Scooter. Qs.

[E]

Yeah, I think that's who did the Q and A.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Five subscribers.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Jimmy's reaching the world.

[D]

Look at that. Influencer. Influencer.

[B]

Well, he'll be a Q West 330 years.

[A]

But if he does.

[E]

If TSD 37. What?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[A]

If TSD does come back to bite him in the ass this episode.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no. There's no jobs in the. On the IJ set that you can't just shovel his way.

[B]

No, no. It was a card that whips it out anytime. You pissed at him? Oh, that's why we've had the crew all these years. We hired people back when they, you know, were real people. Talk to without breaking down and crying.

[C]

Mingalo.

[D]

Yes, Brian.

[C]

The second sponsor that we have.

[D]

What do we got?

[C]

This might get you back in the computer game.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right. Squarespace.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I use them.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

How do you use Squarespace?

[D]

Squarespace powers the Assured Universe website.

[C]

All right.

[A]

That's an engine that fuels the fucking.

[D]

The empire.

[A]

Yeah. Empire.

[C]

That's a great.

[A]

That's a great word. Empire.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The Ming Chen Empire.

[D]

Yeah. I needed a website quick. I needed to look good with Squarespace, the Chen Dynasty.

[C]

Okay, well, Squarespace decided to give me about eight pages of copy, so this is going to take a second. I'm not going to read it all, obviously. I'm just going to skim through it. Required within the first 30 seconds. This podcast is sponsored and brought to you by Squarespace. And then in my own words, I'm supposed to say Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or scaling your business. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. They fucking really expect me to put that in my own words?

[D]

Yes, you, Ryan Johnson.

[C]

That's not going to happen. Okay. This is where I discuss the product, my own personal story and experience with it, which I don't have. But Ming had.

[B]

Ming just did that for you.

[C]

Ming did that for us.

[B]

You're being very hostile to our sponsor. This is where we.

[C]

This is.

[A]

This is.

[C]

Don't lose me, though. Like, when they don't just truncate it and make it like, an easy to read, like, so I can get the information that they want.

[A]

You look at the ad though. It's just like when you look at. When you get the.

[C]

Usually.

[A]

Yeah. You probably should look at it the night before.

[C]

Well, you know, I should.

[A]

Then truncate it yourself.

[C]

Yeah, I should. Well, you know, Mary Beth should.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Charge of that shit, not me.

[A]

Well, somebody should.

[C]

I'm here to read. Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna go home and yell at her. She better not pull out a card on me.

[A]

That's a lot of work.

[D]

A car is a very.

[C]

I don't want her to know of the existence of those cards.

[A]

Can you get those cards? Can I get one of those cards? Illegally? On the Internet. The black web. I mean the dark web.

[B]

Print out a close up of a vagina laminate. It's getting friction. Just. Just hold it up.

[A]

Be careful. BQ

[D]

scratch and sniff card.

[C]

I'll read a couple of these.

[A]

Sounds very insensitive to those who have.

[B]

You're right. You're absolutely right. I apologize. I apologize.

[C]

Ming, you might know what this means. SEO tools.

[D]

Yeah. Search engine optimization. Yes.

[C]

Well, that's a good one, right?

[D]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[C]

Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto generated sitemap and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. You got domains. They make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair and all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. Every Squarespace domain comes with advanced privacy and security tools included to ensure your domain remains online and protected. Plus, Squarespace provides everything you need to bring more of your dream to life. Whether that means building a website or adding a professional email service, don't wait to claim your name. Invest in your dream domain today. Hey Ming, you want to get some donations going?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You want donations, right?

[D]

Yeah, for sure.

[C]

How do that directly on your website and grow your impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time a recurring contributions and engage supporters. With built in email campaigns and marketing tools, you can connect with the community and inspire more people to support your cause. What else we got here? We got videos. And that's all I'm going to read is after the videos we're done. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage client with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. Now head to squarespace.com backslash tesd. You still have to say backslash or just say slash.

[D]

Yeah, just say slash.

[C]

All right. Slash. That's like boomers would say.

[D]

Oh, yeah, right.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Yeah. The address is HTTP. //, slash. Yeah.

[C]

Www.

[D]

I think you're good.

[C]

They have it all written out, though.

[D]

Of course.

[C]

Go to squarespace.com tesd Save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain using code tesd and that is it. Thank you, Squarespace.

[B]

Did they give us any free Squarespace stuff?

[C]

They did not.

[D]

Set up your own website for free. Anything.

[B]

I want to make a website for the Ming Chen Butterfly experience, which is my favorite. We're doing it down in Key west with Ming. Everybody's getting entrance to the Butterfly Conservatory where Ming Chen will be performing.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Inside.

[C]

Inside the Butterfly service.

[B]

Madame Butterfly as Ming Chen Butterfly.

[D]

Yes. I'll be cosplaying.

[C]

He's got to look like Madam Butterfly. He's going to look like a girl. Yeah, he's going to look like a girl for sure.

[B]

No, no, he's gonna be the manliest butterfly. And I'm excited about it.

[E]

Will it be a butterfly crime scene?

[B]

No, no. It's gonna be nothing but the. Enjoying the nature around you. And Ming Chen and his. His performance.

[D]

Yeah. This is great. Big fan of the Key West Butterfly Conservatory. It was one of the last places I visited before I left.

[A]

Did you know that?

[B]

It's gorgeous.

[A]

There are no male or female butterflies.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[D]

There was a sexless. Wow, they're like Jamie Lee Curtis androgynous.

[B]

Well, they only live like a week or something like that, right? Yeah.

[D]

Hermaphrodites.

[B]

I didn't know that. Why do you know that?

[A]

That I'm lying. I have no.

[D]

How do they reproduce?

[A]

Like I like. Hey, if kid could do it and sound like a genius, look how easy it is.

[B]

Ming will be going through a course with the Butterfly Conservatory to teach him a little bit. To inform his performance a little bit more.

[D]

But yes, you'll. You'll be leaving a little smarter, a little more knowledgeable about butterflies. Yeah, it's a whole experience.

[B]

It's going to be the Saturday morning.

[C]

It's gonna be.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be great. But I can't wait. It's actually the thing I'm looking forward to the most.

[D]

None of the comics, none of the activities.

[B]

I can't wait to see you in the Butterfly Conservatory doing your thing, man.

[D]

After party at whatever. Less than Kevin's or whatever that place is.

[B]

No, Irish Kevin's.

[C]

Irish Kevin.

[B]

Me and Jiggy were at a bar. We were. We were a little tuned up and. And I just. It just came out and the sec. It was like a light went off and we were like, holy.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Awesome. I'm back.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I can't wait. I can't wait.

[C]

All right, so what do you want to do? We got two more spots. Do you want to do the game, then the spots?

[A]

It's up to you. You make the call.

[C]

We can knock them out, knock out the spots, and we can just focus on the game.

[A]

All right?

[C]

Okay. All right. Ming. Bluechew.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

You know what time it is, Ming? It's time to level up. And Bluechew just dropped something crazy. Next level, championship belt. Gold plated energy. Blue chew. Gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable Ed brand. This ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is the four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. Yeah. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket pumping. Mixed with apomorphine. Yeah, like that. And oxytocin. Apomorphine.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

And oxytocin. To turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and body. Bluechew Gold dissolves under your tongue. It works in as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get it on quickly, quicker, and stay in the game longer. Elevation without hesitation. It's peak passion and peak performance in a single tablet. See, Bluechew's turning bedroom performance into an Olympic sport. Go for the gold, ladies. If you're listening, send your man the link and have make him a trophy husband with Bluechew Gold. Forget Netflix and chill. This is Netflix and Phil.

[A]

If a female took Bluechew, I don't

[C]

think anything would happen.

[A]

It wouldn't like make blood flow.

[C]

Do you think something would happen?

[E]

I think they do get a reaction.

[C]

They got turned on.

[E]

Yeah, I'm not sure the exact.

[A]

Is that what happens if. When blood flows there, does it turn

[C]

it off, start to swell? I don't know. I'll give one the Mary Beth. I'll test it out on her, see what happens.

[A]

Make her the canary.

[C]

The guinea pig. Yeah.

[A]

You rush her to the hospital.

[C]

I don't know what happened. Just deny all knowledge. You could have saved her life. But make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and the special deal for listeners is this. Get 10% off your first month of Bluechew Gold with code T E S, D. That's promo code te-visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Now the next one and last one. Everybody's favorite prize picks.

[D]

Prize picks. Prize picks.

[C]

The big game is almost here. Who's playing in the big game?

[D]

Got Seattle vs. The New England Patriots.

[E]

You can't say the P word? No, I can't say a team name.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All right. Versus New England.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

The big game is almost here. And there's no way.

[E]

Ooh.

[C]

There's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than prize picks, where it always feels good to be right. And since the big game is right around the corner, that also means it's your last chance to get in on the football action before next season. So close the season out right with prize picks by getting $50 instantly in lineup when you play your first $5. Let's see. Find your community on prizepix with a new social feeds feature. You can share prize picks with your friends and copy lineups from winners in a single click. Copy lineups you like or use them as an inspiration for your own picks. You can even follow prize picks partners like us and tail or fade our picks with just one click. New feature alert. Prize picks now has early payouts. If your player gets off to a hot start, you have the option to cash out those winnings before the game even finishes. Missing your fantasy team. My league is already over. But with prize picks, you don't have to wait until next year's draft to keep playing. Fantasy prize picks let you play fantasy football every week, even in the playoffs. Pick your favorite players and join when they hit their projections every week. No draft required.

[A]

He's just reading. He's not even has no idea what he's reading.

[C]

Millions of users to sign up for America's number one word. My list.

[A]

My fantasy team. He's completely.

[B]

He's like the micro machine guy.

[A]

It's just words.

[C]

This is a call to action. Walt. Download the Price picks.

[E]

Do not read this.

[C]

Yeah, download the price Picks app today and use code tesd to get $50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code TESD to get $50 in lineups AFTER you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It feels good to be right.

[D]

Price picks.

[C]

Pam. What do you want now? Hello? Pam? Hello?

[A]

Hello?

[C]

Hey, I'm doing the podcast. We can't talk right now.

[A]

Okay. Call me later maybe.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Okay, Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

Bye, Pam.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Well, Cameo Remember she told you that she loved you? That timing. Yeah, that was weird, wasn't it?

[D]

Yeah. I thought that was cool, though. Like, wow.

[B]

I think that's sweet.

[D]

Yeah, it was very random, but it tells me. Yeah.

[B]

Never.

[D]

Not once ever.

[C]

Still waiting for it after 58 years. All right, all right, so now we can. Now we can play the game. Now we can get to the fun stuff.

[A]

So I came up with this game called. What's it called here? It's called Con Stories or Convention Stories.

[C]

Oh, true or false.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm going to read a headline and you guys can ask Ming one question each.

[B]

Oh, they're all Ming related.

[A]

It's all about the con stories.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

About the crazy wildlife, torrid world of

[D]

Comic Con I love.

[A]

Could be true or it could be false.

[D]

Very simple.

[A]

And Ming is going to try to bluff you, though.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Con story or convention? Story number one. Ming had to share a bed with Michael Zapczyk after missing a flight.

[D]

Sordid tale. Unthinkable.

[C]

Had to share a bed after missing a flight.

[A]

You could ask him about it.

[C]

Can ask more questions.

[D]

Crazy stories.

[C]

What happened that you had to share a bed? It's not missing the flight.

[D]

Right.

[C]

But they.

[D]

Well, we. We got one room with two. Two double. Two double beds. It was me, Mike and Rob Bruce, and I wasn't sure I was gonna share a bed with Rob Bruce, so I picked the lesser two evils. Shared the bed with Mike Zapsyk.

[A]

Did you each keep one foot on the floor? That's the rule.

[D]

Not like the. Was it a Happy Days episode? I did not.

[C]

No.

[D]

I had complete.

[A]

Both feet were on the bed.

[D]

Both feet were in the bed.

[B]

Did you sleep head to toe, dog?

[D]

Not like. Was it Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? We did not sleep at toe.

[E]

Did you leave room for Jesus?

[D]

I'm a small guy. There's.

[B]

What size bed did you ask?

[D]

I didn't ask A twin. You know, your regular.

[C]

You gave us some information without even asking a twin. So it's so like a queen size double.

[D]

Yeah, whatever. Your standard.

[C]

Right? Yeah.

[D]

Double bed is.

[A]

Why didn't someone just sleep on the floor?

[D]

A hotel room floor or in a tub. Didn't. Wasn't really a comfortable option.

[A]

And you weren't worried about the ramifications, you know, of this getting out? Like, if it ever got out?

[D]

I guess I never really told anybody until now, so.

[A]

I mean, you. But it's a secret. Like that is eventually going to come out though.

[D]

Yeah, no one really mentioned it. It was kind of a.

[A]

Until Now, Mike didn't swear you to secrecy?

[D]

No. Surprise. I mean, it's not.

[A]

Did he tell his wife?

[D]

I don't. I don't know. I know I could have.

[A]

Did you tell your wife?

[D]

No.

[C]

Oh, it's a weird secret to keep.

[A]

It is weird, yeah.

[D]

I mean, why would you.

[C]

First I gotta tell Mary about the. Like, you won't believe this shit. Why would.

[D]

Why would you mention. I don't know. Why would you mention it to your wife? Yeah.

[A]

You know, honey, just so you know, I slept with another person while I was at the con.

[C]

I'm not giving you any more information than that.

[A]

You don't think that's something she'd want to know?

[D]

No.

[A]

Neil, make sure you get some phrases before you test.

[D]

STD test.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Whether jokes made. Was it like, teehee, little fun jokes made while he tries with. Trying to get to sleep, or.

[D]

No, I think we just went to bed.

[A]

Did you guys sleep with clothes on?

[D]

I had clothes on.

[A]

Layers or just one?

[D]

Not layers.

[A]

Shorts.

[D]

No, just shirt and pants.

[A]

Socks.

[D]

I think I took my socks off.

[E]

Ooh.

[A]

That's the first step to footsie.

[B]

I remember.

[C]

This is going back a long time. Me, Q, Darren, and Sal went down to Atlantic City and we got a room with two double beds. And me and Q did the right thing. We slept on the floor like men,

[B]

right next to each other.

[C]

Like, so close that we were in the bed. We wouldn't have been as close.

[D]

Yeah, no, I remember we shared a room in San Diego. I don't know if you remember this. Me, you, and Sal's mind was blown.

[C]

Yeah. I can't believe this. You're on the floor.

[A]

Do you remember that, Q, me, you and Ming shared a room in San Diego at the San Diego con?

[B]

I don't remember that.

[A]

You don't remember it because Ming was never in the room.

[B]

Oh, okay. He never came back to the room. A bigger room.

[A]

Yeah, it was a big room, but

[D]

still, it was a room with two double beds. I got there late, and I'm like, well, who's. Whose bed? Am I yipping? And they're like, you go get the cot. Call dials here on the phone. Yeah, and get the cot.

[A]

And they.

[D]

They brought.

[B]

I mean, it's ever cold. It was the late 90s. That's the only response, playing around.

[D]

Yeah, but as you can see, I'm not. I'm. You know, I'm not. I'm pretty comfortable.

[A]

Well, you're. It's the 2000s, you know? I mean, people and society has evolved that now you and Mike can sleep in a bed together.

[C]

And not society.

[D]

I live in, not on this show.

[B]

Eyebrows still getting raised around these points.

[D]

Yeah, but it was either him or Rob Bruce or a dirty airport hotel floor.

[B]

Wow. No couch.

[D]

No, no couch. Wasn't that fancy.

[C]

So it wasn't the airline's fault. It was your fault the flight was missing.

[D]

It was our fault.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[A]

What do you think, Q? Is that true or false?

[B]

I believe that it could be true, because I do think Ming would be like, I don't give a shit. I just want to sleep. So I think it's true. And I could also see Mike being the same way. I don't know if they roll like we roll, where everything is an opportunity for an assassination.

[A]

There's no way, though, that it wouldn't be something we've heard by now. It would be the stuff of legend, though.

[D]

Yeah, I just love. In your head, like, we're sword fighting already in bed and shit.

[B]

When did this happen?

[D]

2013, I want to say.

[B]

Oh, wow. So, yeah. Yeah, we would have heard about this. You're right. Back then, especially, like, what if in

[A]

the middle of the night, you know. You know, you. He got. He had like, a dream or something and didn't realize it was.

[C]

What dream? Things of the cocoon.

[A]

You know, he thought he was back home. He thought you were Julia. And it happens. It goes in.

[C]

It happens just a little, but it goes in.

[A]

Before you wake up fully, you realize it's in.

[D]

And.

[A]

And then you guys are like. Then you're like, man, somebody should have slept on the floor.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, now it's too late. We're both gay.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. This sealed it.

[C]

How are we gonna tell our wives?

[D]

Which I didn't.

[B]

I still say it's true.

[A]

True.

[C]

Bry, I'm gonna. I'm gonna lean towards false because, like, you, I. I think that we would have heard this story by now because it's a funny story. And, you know, they're like, ming. It just rolls off on the gay jokes and stuff, so he wouldn't care about that.

[A]

But it's the stuff of sitcom legend. Like, how many sitcoms does this happen where two guys have to sleep in a bed? And it's like, history has shown us how funny that is and how much material could be mined from that. These two guys have never mentioned it once, have never used it to their advantage, have never gone and told this story because they were potting that pure gold that was there.

[B]

Well, they might have told the story on Their podcast. It's not like you guys know.

[A]

Oh yeah, and you do you know, calling us like a painter.

[D]

No one heard that episode they played

[A]

complicating us as haters. You ain't listening either.

[B]

I'm just saying it could have been told on the podcast.

[A]

What do you think? True or false? We. We. We immediately told our story about sleeping together in Florida. Yeah, we didn't, we didn't keep that a secret. We want to use it to our advantage.

[E]

I'm gonna say false.

[A]

False. Okay. True Q. True.

[D]

Bryce.

[A]

False.

[C]

Bry.

[A]

False Bry. Okay, Ming Chen, reveal if it's true or false.

[D]

This story is true.

[C]

Oh my God.

[D]

This happened after LA Comic Con. We missed the flights. AMC invited us out to a fancy dinner and missed our flights home that night. We opted to take the fancy dinner instead of flying home.

[B]

There was only one hotel room available.

[D]

We, we were cheap. We. We opted to get one hotel room.

[B]

The price. How much was the price of your masculinity?

[D]

I mean we.

[B]

It was.

[C]

And that was back in the days of guarantees. You could have.

[D]

Oh yeah, no, we, yeah, yeah, we, we did pretty well that week.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And we, yeah, we probably could have. We've been cheap though.

[B]

We didn't care.

[D]

No.

[A]

How much like did you have to talk him into doing it?

[C]

Like how much like canoodle already like summoning him over.

[D]

According to you guys, it took no convincing.

[A]

Well, did it take any convincing?

[D]

No, none. No.

[A]

He. You guys immediately just hopped into bed. Immediately you were like, rob, you got the bed.

[D]

I think it was over here.

[A]

Turn out the lights. Don't listen. Yeah, but it's only six o'. Clock guys. We're going to bed now.

[D]

I was pretty much a given that. Let's go. I'm. I'm so tired.

[A]

Is wide eyed like a wild. Now let's go to bed now.

[D]

We don't want to miss our flights tomorrow morning.

[A]

We gotta get up early.

[E]

Rob.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

The sun's still up.

[A]

All the shades.

[D]

No, we're on. We're on west coast time and east coast is dark already. Let's go to bed. It's real late at home, guys.

[E]

It's nine o' clock somewhere.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not surprised that it happened on the west Coast. You guys shared a bit.

[A]

Was this hotel in San Francisco.

[D]

La. So close enough. Close enough. But it was pretty much West Hollywood. It was pretty much over in that. No, no one's. No one was sharing about his robbers.

[A]

So why do you guys say that? Like what was the big deal? Like, why is it better to share with Mike?

[E]

I mean, Robert said night terrorist.

[A]

No, he didn't.

[D]

He had one.

[E]

Yeah, he had one.

[D]

He had a night terror.

[C]

He started screaming.

[A]

He was repulsed by what he saw

[D]

in the bed next to him.

[A]

The up. I'm trying to sleep over here.

[D]

Yeah. No, around midnight. Around midnight, he. He sat up and started screaming at the top of his lungs.

[C]

Who says this doesn't feel like a. Oh, my God.

[A]

You're like night rider. I'm like, you're driving me to ecstasy. I'm on a verge of tears over here.

[D]

Michael. I don't think you're supposed to put that there, Michael.

[A]

Shut up, kid.

[B]

Bruce is like, I've slept in storage units. Worse than this. Better than this. Wow.

[D]

Yeah, I didn't want to get hit with that horn. He had the big dreadlock. You know, he smells funny.

[B]

It wouldn't be any better if he slept in the bed with Rob Bruce. It's a weird choice either way, but

[A]

the set up, the years and years of Brian Johnson laying the groundwork that these two are sleeping together already, and then they go ahead and do it.

[C]

Yeah. No wonder they kept it a secret. Yeah.

[E]

They're like, oh, so this is what

[D]

he's been talking about 13 years later. I thought the statute of limitations maybe. Apparently not.

[E]

Why fight it?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

So that happened.

[A]

BQ gets a big point.

[B]

That happened early lead.

[C]

Nice work.

[A]

Story two, while at a con, Ming went to Walmart with a group of guests that included Donnie, Ralph Mouth. Most. I don't know if you know who that is.

[B]

Sure, of course. Happy days, right?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

One of the Happy Days gang.

[B]

Why? Why'd you go? What'd you get? What supplies did you guys need?

[D]

I didn't need anything. He needed pepsid ac.

[A]

He also said, you want to share a room when we get back?

[C]

I heard you're not averse to it.

[D]

Like, sure, Ralph Mouth.

[A]

I still got it. If anybody gets that joke, gotta be Happy Days viewer.

[D]

The hey, Minx. Sit up.

[A]

Sit on it, man. This is really the. I don't know, 20, 26. We making these jokes like this.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's kind of heavy. I knew the first story was going to go that way.

[B]

I didn't know that Ralph Mouth ever go this way.

[C]

It might be 20, 26 out there in this studio. It's still 2000. Yeah, you're right, Ralph.

[D]

Mel needed an essence or whatever.

[B]

Why didn't. Why didn't the consent someone for such an esteemed guest?

[D]

That was right after we were. We were splitting a ride from the airport to the hotel and said, hey, can we stop off at Walmart and get Pepsi Day, Susie? Sure, I'll go with you. Ralph Malf.

[B]

You. You are in constant. You knew him like you guys knew each other?

[D]

I knew who he was. We didn't meet until that moment.

[B]

Oh, and he was comfortable derailing your journey to the hotel to get fucking.

[A]

Ralph Mouth versus Ming Chen. I don't think he has a problem being, like, a driver. We're stopping at Walmart.

[C]

My stomach hurts.

[D]

Yeah, it wasn't a big deal.

[A]

He probably thought Ming was the driver.

[C]

What are you doing back here?

[D]

The agent's like, yo, Kato, can we go to Walmart? Like, yes. Yes, sir, Green Hornet.

[C]

Now, I know Mink has a history of going to Walmart with other con guests. It's not the. I've seen it several times.

[E]

Ralph Mouth.

[A]

Would we have heard this already? Yeah, that's a big deal. He would have told me this. I would think. He knows how much I love Happy Days.

[B]

So he never told you?

[A]

I. None of the. I knew none of these.

[D]

Ralph Mouth. It wasn't Henry Winkler or.

[A]

Oh, still, man. It's still Ralph Mouth or Ron Howard.

[B]

How old is he at the time?

[E]

I appreciate.

[D]

I mean, in his 50s, I imagine.

[B]

Oh, okay. Still, relatively.

[D]

Yeah, it was. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's not really. Did you buy anything?

[D]

No, I didn't get anything.

[B]

But you went in the store with him.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But you guys didn't know each other.

[D]

No.

[B]

How long was the car ride from the airport to the store?

[D]

It's like 10 minutes.

[B]

So within 10 minutes, you got to the point where you're like, I'll jump out of the car with you and go buy stuff.

[D]

Yeah. Just case I need personal medical stuff. I don't need anything.

[C]

Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it?

[A]

He wants to be seen walking around with Donnie Mosto.

[B]

Wouldn't you? Sure. To this day I'd love to.

[A]

Walking around Walmart. All of a sudden people are like, oh, my God, there's Ralph Mouth.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Who.

[C]

Who?

[E]

That's my CD. The $3 rack over there.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't end up getting any questions.

[C]

Yeah. Why wouldn't you tell Walt? Like, why wouldn't you have told him something like this?

[D]

I don't. Again, it wasn't Henry Winkler, it wasn't Ron Howard. It's Donnie Moist.

[C]

I don't think anybody from the Happy Days Gangster, Right?

[A]

I would think so, Mrs. C. Joni Chachi.

[D]

I. I didn't think it was big enough.

[B]

Have you guys. Was that the last time you were with him?

[D]

No, I've seen him since then. He's been.

[B]

That was the start of like, now he knows who you are.

[D]

Now I. I hopefully remembers me.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right.

[E]

Hey, you, boy.

[C]

Oh, no. Hot off the wire. Catherine o' Hara died.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no. Really?

[C]

That's a shame.

[B]

Oh, that is a bummer. Oh, shit. She's American treasure, that one.

[C]

Yeah, she really is.

[D]

Didn't go to Walmart with her.

[C]

No.

[A]

What do you think? Get him. What are you gonna weigh in on, Donnie?

[E]

Most false.

[D]

False.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Why are you so cocksure?

[D]

Just.

[E]

Damn. Just again, it's something he would have brought up Q.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

It's a weird one. It can go either way. But why bring it up as a fake one?

[E]

I go true because it brings up happy days.

[B]

I go true.

[D]

That was good, Bry.

[C]

Cons, I feel like, are different. Like, you do make friends very quickly at cons even. I don't know, even within the first 10 minutes. I went to a movie with a guy from the Conjuring. That priest.

[A]

What's his name?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Steve.

[C]

Can't remember his last name, but yeah, like we went to the movie starts

[D]

with a C. Yeah, he was in it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. We went to see Conjuring 2 something. I think it's true. Yeah. I see Ming being able to buddy up to somebody that quickly.

[A]

Ming Chen reveal it.

[D]

This story Dining west story is false. Never happened.

[C]

Damn it. Never happened for two.

[D]

Never happened.

[A]

Ginham's on the board.

[D]

I have going to Walmart with fellow con guests, but not Donnie.

[B]

Most who give. Who's an example of a Walmart?

[D]

Our old friend, Katrina Law. I think that's a photo. You saw where we were. We were messing around.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[D]

We pulled out, I think, like a kiddie pool or like screwing around in a Walmart.

[B]

Yeah, sounds fun.

[D]

It was fun.

[C]

Oh, it was horsing around. Yeah. It was shenanigans and that type of stuff.

[D]

It was corny.

[C]

I wasn't invited. Mike wasn't invited.

[D]

It was corny. Horsing around. Yeah. Mike was not invited to his friend.

[A]

Yes. Was he pissed?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Why? I'm fun too, Mike. I mean, Ming.

[D]

That's exactly right. Oh, yeah.

[A]

No, it's the biggest stick in the fucking world.

[D]

Why didn't I get it? Why didn't I get it?

[A]

Of course she was not.

[D]

I'm her friend too. I'm her Friend, too. Why didn't I get invited? Sorry, Mike. Sorry, Mike.

[B]

Now I think he's edging towards a potential problem.

[C]

There she is. Katrina Law.

[B]

Katrina Law. What was she in again?

[D]

Arrow

[E]

played Ra's Al Ghul's daughter.

[D]

She was on one of the.

[E]

Yeah, Talia Al Ghulia.

[D]

She's on one of the CSI type shows right now.

[A]

Super sweet lady number three, A rabid comic book man fan while posing for a paid photo op with Ming revealed his wife was back at the hotel room sleeping with a Power Ranger cosplayer. Huh.

[C]

That's so weird. It almost has to be true. It's, like, so random.

[B]

And, you know, these cons get freaky like that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So what did you say? What do you say to that?

[D]

I mean, what. What can you say? I needed clarification. I'm like, wait, not the actual Power Ranger himself? A cosplayer.

[B]

Right?

[D]

And. Yeah, it was a cosplayer.

[B]

Did you see the lady later on?

[D]

I didn't see her later on.

[A]

Did you ask him if there's any Mike zapsic cosplayers you could sleep with?

[D]

I did not ask him.

[C]

They sleep in a bed with me.

[A]

Or was Mike at this con, too?

[D]

He was at the con, too.

[A]

Okay. A threesome, then.

[D]

Oh, it could have been Mike.

[A]

Cosplayer Mike.

[B]

Can you.

[D]

Yeah. Not the weirdest thing I've heard. That one was pretty weird. Like, not the actual Power Ranger himself. Yeah, it was a cosplayer.

[C]

Well, was she tricked into it? Did you think it was the real.

[B]

No, he left his mask on.

[D]

It's Morphin Time.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, has. Have you heard of stories like this at cons?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, it's usually with the actual guests, like, the actual talent themselves, really.

[B]

But, yeah, you've heard salacious stories.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's usually Power Rangers.

[A]

You're shocked by that. Yeah, conventions are. That's where people let their hair down, man. They're like. It's like, what happens at con stays at cons.

[B]

I don't think anything stays anywhere in today's world.

[A]

Not with Ming.

[B]

Check.

[E]

Was at Megacon when we were there.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

Now, did the guy say in, like, was he pissed or was he almost proud?

[D]

That wasn't proud.

[A]

Oh, he was kind of like, no,

[D]

he was not happy.

[B]

Oh, no. Poor, dumb.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Because some people enjoy that sort of thing. Yeah, some people are into that.

[D]

Some people are. I mean, if it was like, the actual Power Ranger, maybe, but. But not a cosplayer.

[C]

Did you ask him why he was abiding by it or.

[D]

I mean, I was like, what? I mean, I didn't want to upset him that much.

[E]

So happy wife, happy life.

[B]

Which color? Power Ranger?

[D]

It was the green one.

[C]

Green Ranger, not even Pink Ranger.

[D]

That would have been awesome. Amy Jo Johnson COSPLAYER but Jason David Frank COSPLAYER oh, man.

[B]

I mean, how long was your interaction with this guy?

[D]

It was two minutes.

[B]

He couldn't get a ton of information.

[D]

Three minutes.

[A]

What would you do, Q, when you're. Let's say you're doing the IJ photo op and somebody said that, hey, yeah, my wife's. You won't believe this, Q, but my wife's back. A cosplayer.

[B]

He looks unhappy about it.

[A]

Yeah, he's bummed out.

[B]

I'd be like, do you. I'd be like, are you unhappy about it? And if he's bummed out, I'd be

[A]

like, very unhappy about it.

[B]

I'd be like, I think you should talk to your wife about it, man.

[A]

Like, why talk to her for me? She really likes ij. Even though she didn't want to come this photo, you know, she's still fucking that guy or she'd be here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I would say. I was like, you can't come back for free. You gotta. You gotta buy her. Yeah. Photo op and then get her in here and I'll talk to her about it for you. Yeah.

[A]

Really? You would talk to her? Yeah. Come on.

[B]

Would you really do it if she paid the money? Yeah.

[A]

You would want that kind of fucking heavy conversation?

[B]

It's not heavy to me. Yeah.

[C]

I think even without the payment, I would want to. I'd like. Tell me about it.

[B]

Yeah. I want to see what the wife looks like.

[A]

We only go around once, Q. That's what she's saying. When you say to that.

[B]

I'd be like, yeah, but what about your husband being upset by it?

[A]

He'll get over it.

[B]

Why? Why?

[C]

Marriage cold. Like, why have I even talked to her?

[B]

All right, well, look at the camera. Cheese.

[C]

And there he is.

[B]

Go on. There's a son of a Green, right?

[D]

Yeah. Look at. Look at that unit right there. I mean, you know, why wouldn't you do it?

[B]

But I think it's true.

[A]

I think it's true.

[B]

I think it's true. I think this sort of thing is going on all the time, all around us, and apparently. And every once in a while you have. You have to. You get confronted with the fact that this is happening.

[C]

Bry, I believe it to be true. It seems Too random to be false or somebody's really creative.

[E]

I'm going to say true. I know Ming Ray, Hank does hang around with some swingers.

[D]

Swingers?

[A]

There's a guy paying for a photo op. You're not hanging out with him.

[E]

Yeah, but he gives off that energy of, like, you know, four swingers. So, like, they just admit stuff to him.

[D]

Hey, who?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. And that's a true, you said? Yes. True across the category, true across the board.

[D]

Ming Chen, the story is 100% made up by Wal Flanagan. I've heard a lot of salacious tales, but, yeah, nothing to this extremity.

[A]

Now, you're a really super positive guy. How would you spin that? If somebody actually did tell you that while you were there, like, getting the photo op, you're just. You're like, hey, man, how you doing? And not too good. And he tells you that.

[D]

Yeah. What the hell are you doing here with me? But I understand you paid for this. You know, it's a set time. If you don't come at this time, you're gonna miss me for the photo op. But, hey, I'd be like, no. When you're done, come. I need to hear more of this. Come back to the table. I'll give you a free autograph. That makes you feel better. It won't, but.

[B]

Now, if you were a single guy, would you be participating in these sort of conscientious shenanigans, you think?

[D]

It depends.

[B]

That's a yes.

[C]

He's like, how much can I say without getting in trouble?

[B]

Say no more.

[A]

Let's move on.

[B]

Let's move on.

[E]

Could you help a single guy at a con?

[A]

Ming was so ill in a public restroom at a convention, he had to call his con handler and ask her to send in someone to pass toilet paper under the stall.

[B]

What? You. Hold on. Oh, you were out of toilet paper in your stall.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

And your con handler actually accompanied you to the bathroom?

[D]

Con handler had to send a guy in to get me toilet paper.

[A]

Called his con handler the place.

[C]

Oh, called him on the phone?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, okay. Her.

[A]

What the hell do you mean he called her? Like, just screaming.

[C]

Well, I thought first. At first, it was a guy that was with him in the bathroom.

[A]

Brian, you have to remember, you say true to everything you buy.

[C]

Anything True. That's true.

[A]

Every fucking story he sold today, you'd be like, true. That's definitely true.

[C]

It sounds true to me.

[A]

Now you start questioning the most logical

[C]

of the aspects of the story. Why are you in a con?

[E]

Why did you have A phone on you.

[A]

So frame it again. You're in a stall. You're getting sick.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

From the other end.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You run out of toilet paper. Paper.

[D]

I didn't even check. And there was no toilet paper in there.

[A]

And you need to. You need toilet paper.

[D]

I mean, I need it bad. Yes.

[A]

So you call her and she sends a dude.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

There's no. There's only one stall in this bathroom.

[D]

No, there are multiple.

[E]

But I. Yeah, but there's other people there. So you're gonna have to like, you know, Porky, pig it out.

[B]

You're in a desperate situation.

[A]

That's a weird choice of words.

[D]

Yeah, I've never heard that before. What is that?

[C]

No pants.

[D]

No. Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, it could be Donald Duck. That could be.

[A]

Oh, that's what that means.

[C]

No pants.

[B]

Pants.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[C]

Did you make that up?

[E]

No.

[A]

Oh, that's brilliant.

[E]

Stole it from the snl. Alien abduction sketch.

[A]

Okay, so Donald Duck would be also equivalent to that.

[E]

I guess so, yeah.

[A]

Any. Any anamorphic animal that doesn't wear pants. Howard the Duck.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Hoduck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. There's one other stall known in there and then there are people at the urinal, so I couldn't porgy pick it out of there.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It would have been weird if you did. Right.

[E]

All of a sudden that's happened to me. Here.

[C]

She's doing it for an hour.

[B]

Got enough stories of cons to worry about. We don't need any more.

[D]

Oh, yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you think, Q?

[B]

Were you able to fight past this and get out there and do your duties at the con afterwards?

[D]

Yeah, duties.

[E]

He went with Johnny Bose to get some pepped up.

[D]

Got most of it out there, but it was pretty bad.

[B]

What do you got? It's hard to catch him in a

[C]

lie because I know Trunk. I know everything. I think everything is true.

[B]

What do you think caused it?

[D]

No, it was just a. It was. I had something called the hot brown

[A]

in Kentucky at the hotel room back with Mike.

[D]

It was in the green room.

[A]

Let this get cold. You're gonna want eat it hot. Ming.

[C]

Yum.

[A]

Eat it quick.

[B]

I know why Ming hasn't been back in a while.

[C]

People are overhearing this. They're in the stall. Steaming, baby, steaming.

[E]

Oh, hot brown. Get out of me.

[D]

Shouldn't have eaten the hop round in like Kentucky.

[A]

He's the one that fucking brought it up. Don't blame me. I'm not going to hear hop around and not think that.

[B]

No, no, you're right. You're right.

[C]

Logical to put that all together. That Mike was in his mouth. Who wouldn't put that together?

[D]

Oh, it was not a Cleveland. Whatever.

[E]

Don't waste it on the COD4.

[B]

That's great, man.

[A]

Get a four star review for that for the week.

[D]

Don't eat the hot brown in Kentucky.

[B]

Oh boy.

[A]

Great joke in him.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Okay. Have you had a half round since?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay. That was your last time.

[D]

I mean. No, I don't recommend anyone eat the hopper on

[B]

didn't go back to the room and shower first.

[D]

No, I.

[E]

You would.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even though you got a line of people waiting for you to sign autographs and take pictures with.

[C]

I just dropped the hopper. Gotta give you a minute.

[A]

They don't care.

[E]

Well, he was just out of toilet paper, so like with. With toilet paper, he could probably wiped pretty clean.

[B]

Yeah, but still his stomach and the, and the, the.

[A]

He's going to turn down that money. He could come back. That line may be gone sometimes.

[E]

Once it gets out of you though, you're fine.

[B]

Was there a long line waiting for you?

[D]

I mean, not that long.

[A]

It was. Come on. Just come on.

[C]

He's AMC's Big Chen.

[E]

It was just two guys whose wife were with the Rangers.

[A]

We heard you eat hot browns. You off Freddy right now.

[C]

Fallout hard times.

[D]

Let's be truthful here. Four or five people.

[C]

It wasn't that long.

[D]

I washed my hands. I didn't have to put full on shower.

[B]

I understand. All right. I guess it's true. I mean, these things happen.

[C]

I'm afraid to say true anymore. It sounds true to me, but he's

[E]

doing it for a reason.

[C]

Yeah, I'm afraid it's in your head. Yeah, I know you're gonna say true, Keith.

[B]

I'm gonna say true. These things happen. They've happened to me on tour. I've had to run off stage, do a spray, get back on stage.

[A]

So you went back on stage. You didn't go back to the room and take a shower?

[B]

I, you know, Sal was talking for five minutes during his bit, so I had the time to go run, but I had to get back for my bit. It happens. Oh yeah, it happens. Gotta be like show must go on scenario, right.

[C]

Were there only four or five people in the crowd?

[A]

So Q says true. Bry says, I'm gonna say it's true.

[C]

Yeah. It sounds innocent enough that it could have happened.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I must say true. Like it's. It's happened to me here where I

[C]

had to porky pick it.

[B]

It's happening right now. Yeah.

[E]

Because at least I knew there was nobody in the bathroom so I could go to the next stall.

[D]

Right, right. While your landlord didn't fill up the.

[E]

No, this is before we got the cleaning service that comes in every Friday and refills. Yeah, so? And I didn't check. Now I check.

[D]

Well, you don't have your own flea market toilet paper.

[A]

Fool me once.

[E]

Well, I would have had to come all the way back here for the toilet paper.

[D]

Good point.

[A]

Ming Chen reveal it.

[D]

The story never happened.

[A]

We could sell Brian to fucking land in everglades.

[D]

Right again. 100 made up by Walt Flanagan.

[C]

That's why I have all this money with me. I'm gonna buy a bridge today.

[D]

Good story though. Good story.

[A]

I'm meeting a guy behind the airport plaza. Buying a bridge. The Johnson Bridge. I just gotta.

[C]

How much are we making?

[A]

Tolls.

[C]

You guys are the stupid ones.

[D]

Yeah, never happened. I did eat a thing called the hot brown in Lexington, Kentucky though.

[B]

Did not give you the shit.

[D]

Did not give me the shit.

[C]

Yeah, I should have known from that. Like he has an iron stomach.

[D]

Yeah, I can.

[C]

I've eaten a lot of sushi and shit.

[D]

Yeah, I've eaten a lot of weird shit.

[A]

Okay, number five.

[C]

How many questions are there? I'm wondering if I'm gonna go.

[A]

Well, maybe nine or ten. I'm thinking you're probably law of averages.

[D]

It's.

[C]

It has to be true.

[E]

Want to borrow a coin?

[A]

Ming was invited to an after party thrown by a certain big comic book company. And by the end of the night, the two glass tables in the room were fouled Jack Nicholson style by two somewhat known drunk artists.

[C]

No fucking way.

[B]

What does that mean, Jack Nicholson style?

[A]

Oh, you've never heard Jack Nicholson. What he did to the glass to

[B]

table is shadow the table. Okay. Another shit story to combo guard.

[E]

You see the theme here?

[B]

What year was this?

[D]

2014, I think.

[B]

I feel like this is this. This would have gotten out somehow. Two comic book legendary artists.

[D]

Legendary was somewhat known.

[B]

Somewhat drunk.

[D]

Stan Lee and like they just started

[B]

shitting on a table.

[A]

Table.

[D]

They shut on the table in front

[C]

of how many people?

[D]

Four, six.

[C]

Was it your table at the car?

[D]

It wasn't my table. Wasn't my table.

[A]

Come on, guys.

[C]

Fun's fun. But like this is the fourth time

[A]

I gotta try and make money here. You keep on my table.

[B]

I think we would have heard about this one for sure. Yeah, especially with all this.

[A]

Hijinks like that happen all the time.

[B]

I mean, in our circle. Because there's a lot of talk about cons in our circle. Circle. And I feel it would have came up in conjunction. I'm saying false.

[A]

Did you see it or did you hear it?

[D]

I heard about it.

[C]

Oh, you heard about it.

[D]

As was all this shit.

[B]

I don't think that had happened. There's no way.

[A]

Why. Why is this so out of bounds for you?

[B]

What? Two people are doing this.

[A]

Only Jack Nicholson has the clout that can do that.

[D]

Pull that off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

These guys are gods. Out of conflict.

[B]

2. Them of them are doing it.

[A]

Like, one sees one doing it. He's like, oh, I'm not gonna let him get one up on.

[C]

We'll just see about this.

[A]

How competitive these artists are.

[B]

I'm saying false. I'm going false.

[A]

Okay, Brian.

[C]

It sounds false to me. One guy doing it, like, drunkenly. I'd be like, wow, that's fucked up. I believe it. Two guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Two guys.

[A]

Seems false. Probably. Maybe they got together or like tingling ass cracks. I dare you. And if I do it, you got to do it, too.

[C]

Could be false, though. False. I got to go false with that.

[E]

Get him. I'm with the number of people I'm going to say false. I believe one guy will do it. And then once that happens, that's what kind of ends the night.

[B]

Yeah. Everybody leaves the room. Every leaves the.

[A]

That's legendary, though, right?

[B]

If it happened, though, I would certainly talk about it the rest of my life.

[A]

Ming Chen.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

The story never happened.

[C]

Finally on the board. Finally on the board.

[A]

Brian Johnson's on the board.

[D]

But I did want to blame Jim Mahfood and Mark Wade if you guys were. Would have asked.

[B]

Oh, I didn't think you would have mentioned.

[D]

Yeah, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You guys never.

[B]

Well, then I would have known his faults for sure because those guys are Jim, my food.

[D]

Mark Wade.

[B]

He's not a youngster anymore.

[D]

No, but

[A]

you don't want. At a certain age yet. Like, it's. It's.

[C]

Well, that's interesting. Did you read that? Can we just put up there?

[A]

It was from Puck Nuts.

[C]

Yeah, it's from Puck Nuts, A story that we told on Puck Nuts about somebody crapping on a glass table.

[A]

You've never heard that story before?

[C]

No, I had heard it.

[E]

Well, Ming talks about it.

[C]

No, I definitely heard it. But Ming. Ming talks about the weird stuff super rich people do and goes on to talk about Kev telling him of a guy who pays chicks to take a dump on a glass table because he lies below it. Ry then makes a joke, implying it's Kev Ming Names the guy and it's edited. Walt says he's going to have to take it out. Ming then replies, why? Because he's from Jersey. He's not a Devils fan. Anyone knew who that could be? It's got me wondering.

[A]

I don't remember this at all.

[C]

I don't remember it all either.

[D]

I remember vaguely.

[A]

Do you remember who you're talking about?

[C]

No. It's Jackson's name.

[A]

Oh, well, that came out. The Internet knows that story.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So why do I think I had to take that out like Jack Nicholson was.

[D]

I have no idea. Yeah, like he was gonna. There was gonna be backlash. Yeah, yeah, that. You're gonna sell his reputation. His squeaky clean reputation. Jack Nicholson. Oh, Jack Nicholson.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, somebody stop me.

[A]

A convention promoter got assaulted by an angry talent agent after the promoter put his clients in what he deemed a not high traffic unsexy spot next to Ming Chen.

[B]

What level of assault?

[D]

It was punches.

[B]

Punches thrown.

[D]

Punches were thrown? Yes. Chokeholds, punches.

[B]

Who is the person? Who is the celebrity set?

[D]

He had Bai Ling and a bunch of other people. I never really heard of one guy from Deadwood, Peter, but who was the

[B]

celebrity that this was over?

[D]

No, he had multiple celebrities. They were all put in the. The spot, the main chance. Actually he had like four or five people, but the ones you wouldn't know biling and one guy who was in Deadwood.

[B]

Did it escalate? Like, did it start with like we. Did you witnesses yourself?

[D]

I didn't witness it. I heard about it, but other people I talked to back at back.

[A]

Was your name mentioned as the prime reason?

[D]

No.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

No.

[B]

Did you. How did you feel hearing that?

[C]

Yeah, we were offended.

[D]

I.

[E]

At least you're talking about me.

[D]

I was a fan again. These days I'm just happy to be there.

[C]

What year was this?

[D]

It just happened.

[C]

Oh, it just happened.

[D]

It just happened.

[B]

Oh, just happened.

[D]

3.

[C]

I was gonna say because like there

[D]

happened two weeks ago in Albuquerque.

[C]

There was a time when. When Ming Chen was definitely like more talked about than bio. Ling, right?

[E]

It.

[C]

She's not that big.

[D]

No, but she wasn't the crow.

[C]

So.

[D]

What? Yeah, I heard punches were thrown.

[B]

What was the result of this?

[D]

Think. I mean, somebody separated it. I don't know if I think the guy. Somebody pressed charges.

[B]

But were the people moved to a different area or you had this.

[D]

No, this happened after. Guy got angry after the conversation.

[A]

He negotiated. The promoter was like, I'll give you a Ming Chen's cut to make up for this. Ming, I'm Gonna need whatever you made this weekend. I need it.

[B]

So, Bai Ling.

[A]

What's the girl's name?

[D]

Bai Ling.

[A]

Bai Ling. You know, it's taking all your profits.

[C]

She needs a minimum. She needs to make her minimum.

[D]

Highly guaranteed.

[A]

I'll let you go first. Wait, you think I'm gonna say it's true? It's true.

[E]

I think, you know, something can get heated and then someone like, you know, chest shove somebody, and then it's. It's done.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

And then it's just. Yeah, it's all out, Bry.

[C]

Sounds true to me. I've seen. I've seen these wild. Hey, I got the last one right.

[B]

I think it's false because, like, I don't know how that. That story, like an assault, goes at a conversation with rich people or famous people attached to it. I think that's fodder.

[E]

Tempers flare. It's at the end.

[B]

I'm not saying it.

[A]

All weekend, you sat next to Ming Chen.

[B]

Man, I would love to make Jack happy. It would make me happy hearing that

[E]

laughter eight hours a day.

[B]

Yeah, I just think it would have been. It would have been on a website or something like that. Yeah. So I'm gonna see.

[A]

You think it would come under your attention, though, even if I got to

[C]

a website guy who ignores everything?

[B]

Yeah, but you. But somebody in this room would have

[E]

heard it today on cmz, Variety.

[D]

IJ ratings through the roof. Oh, and con agent attacked Biling's promoter.

[B]

I'm saying it's false. I don't think it's false.

[A]

Ming Chen.

[D]

Brian Johnson, you're on a roll. This actually happened in Albuquerque two weeks ago. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah, we got stashed in the basement and the. The con agent, now you're.

[C]

I thought you were like a beloved character. At Albuquerque.

[D]

I am, but this is my ninth time there, so they're like, all right, we'll put me in.

[C]

Can't give you the prime real estate age anymore.

[D]

We'll put that. Or if maybe he just wanted to pull the Asians in there. Bai Ling. Ming Chen.

[C]

You're right.

[E]

They're used to mine work.

[B]

But that would be like, put them out of a job. Like, who's going to invite these people back if their manager's swinging fists?

[D]

They're probably not coming back.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

Who is the guy from Deadwood.

[D]

I'm really curious about that, Peter.

[A]

All right, ready to move on? Are you still looking up this?

[D]

Oh, he wasn't. He was a technical advisor and historical consultant.

[C]

Oh, my God. He's at a Con.

[A]

He's gonna try to pull clout over Min.

[D]

He did act in Tombstone, so I think he's been in a bunch of stuff. But now I can see why he got put in the basement with me.

[C]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[D]

I thought he was on Deadwood. I was like, holy shit. What's he doing down here with me?

[C]

A technical advisor. Jesus.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

While at a convention, Ming witnessed a convention goer freaking out because her emotional support bird escaped.

[B]

What state was this?

[D]

The San Diego.

[B]

San Diego Comic Con.

[D]

San Diego Comic Con.

[C]

I think I might know the answer to this one already.

[A]

You've heard this?

[C]

I think I might.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Get him's in the lead, you know, with three, so take any advantage you can get.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right behind them, right on your heels. Get them. What are you gonna do about it?

[A]

Well, you think at him.

[E]

What kind of bird was it?

[D]

I have no idea.

[A]

The bird. The freaking bird.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

There's no support robin.

[D]

It was an oriole. I blue. I have no caw.

[E]

Parrot.

[D]

A falcon.

[B]

And it was. It was allowed into the con because it was an emotional support bird. It flew off. Emotional support animal saw her crying.

[D]

Yes. Freaking out.

[E]

Solar.

[A]

No.

[B]

Was she dressed in cosplay?

[D]

I don't remember her being in cosplay. So just regular clothes.

[B]

What did she do? What was her breakdown?

[D]

Like, just freaking out.

[B]

What does that mean?

[D]

Running around, just trying to get the bird back.

[B]

Okay, so the bird was flying around the cotton.

[D]

Flying around the cotton.

[B]

Poor bird, man.

[E]

It happened to Debbie. Like, her McCaw flew off into a tree and, like, it took her hours with the police to get the bird down, so I kind of believe it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I'm surprised police would devote that many hours.

[C]

Like a fireman thing.

[E]

Well, like, it took her hours that the cops weren't there the whole time. Like, I think she was trying to see if she could get something. Like, they send the cops first and then the cops. Yeah. Like, figure out who to try to send and.

[A]

Yeah, gotcha.

[E]

I'm gonna say true, true. Because you have. You need the emotional support animal anyway. And then the bird flies away and you can't get it to come back to you. And that's going to be pretty stressful.

[C]

Did she get the bird back?

[E]

Yeah, I'd say it's inside. I would think it would be, yeah.

[A]

What do you think, Brian?

[C]

I'm gonna go with my old standard true.

[B]

Well, Kiddum's on a roll, and Brian thinks he knows the answer. The fact that you even think you know the answer means you've heard the story before, which means it's probably true. So I'll go with true. I'll go with my compadres here.

[A]

I kind of get the feeling that this is true. You've really run out of wild stories if this is the one you're bringing to the table.

[D]

Table.

[A]

That you saw someone lose emotional support for. I was thinking more body was going

[D]

to be the more sexual, more salacious. No, no.

[A]

Well, salacious, right? No body is a wrong choice of words, but yeah, something a little bit more. A little bit more like teeth? Yes. Like, yeah, this is kind of like. This is like, get him level. Not worth telling.

[D]

Yeah,

[E]

I'm looking at a virus.

[D]

Well, I told it. And this one is 100 true happened. You were there.

[C]

I was there.

[D]

That's why you was in that big glass room. Yeah, I was in the sales pavilion. If you've ever been to San Diego comic conk and let animals in. Yeah, I was shocked too, but yeah. Woman started running around crying, telling everyone to close the doors. And I was like, what's going on? Is I heard bird escape.

[E]

Don't make eye contact.

[B]

She should not be bringing this bird to her.

[C]

No.

[B]

Done.

[A]

No.

[D]

And the way they got it back was it smacked into one of the windows. Didn't die. Didn't die. Knocked itself out.

[E]

It was stunned.

[D]

It knocked itself out, but she got the bird back. It was pining for the stairs like, what the hell? Like California, man. They'll let anything fly there. Literally. Yeah, really literally. But yeah, that was a year you were there.

[C]

Yeah, I remember.

[A]

Everybody said true, right?

[D]

So you guys all win that one.

[A]

And that means get him still in the lead

[C]

somehow.

[D]

Neck and neck. Got a rivalry going on here.

[A]

Two more left. That's it.

[B]

All right.

[A]

While at a convention, Ming heard a rumor that a high profile action star got drunk and attended a late night hotel room party at a con. Upon leaving the room, he perceived a fan to be looking at him funny and he sucker punched. He spent the weekend in the jail cell instead of at the con.

[B]

Say one more time. I think I lost something. I'm sorry.

[A]

So he was at a con. He overheard this rumor. You weren't at the party, right?

[D]

No.

[A]

About an action star going to somebody's room for a party. While he's there, he perceives that some fan has given him a funny look. He punches him, gets arrested, and then spends a the whole con in jail.

[B]

I see. Okay. All right. What con?

[D]

The Alamo City Comic Con, San Antonio.

[B]

Who was the guy?

[A]

Can you tell that or you? I mean, is. Wouldn't it be a public record?

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It was Menu Bennett. Menu Bennett.

[B]

No.

[D]

Played Deadshot and Arrow, he said. But he's been a bunch of stuff.

[B]

Okay. I never watched Big Guy.

[A]

Oh, cw.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

He's been in movies.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why did he. What was. The guy was giving him a look.

[D]

Yes, that's what I heard.

[B]

And this guy's so unhinged that he was.

[D]

He was very drunk. Fifth of Jack Daniels, I heard.

[B]

Look at this guy. He looks. He looks old enough to know better,

[D]

you know, at a con.

[B]

Yeah. It can't be as con like you. You show up, you get that hammered.

[A]

How come you weren't at the party?

[D]

I don't have. Somewhere else. Didn't get invited to this cool party. I would have been me. Me.

[A]

Oh, definitely could have been me getting

[C]

knocked out or throwing the punch.

[D]

Oh, get knocked out for sure.

[B]

And when Was this?

[D]

In 16, I think. 16, 17.

[A]

Did it have an adverse effect on his career?

[D]

I don't think so. I mean, he missed that weekend. I don't. I don't remember him losing any jobs over.

[B]

Have you seen him on the concert since then?

[D]

Yeah, he's about to.

[B]

And is he drinking still or is he.

[D]

I think he's sober now. I think that was one of the things that woke him up eventually.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I haven't heard of him punching anyone since.

[B]

I'm gonna have to play Ming on this one. Not the story. I think it's false.

[C]

I think it's false, huh?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, Brian, I think it's true. Okay. Yeah, get.

[D]

Must say it's true. True.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I think that redemption arc will kind of get you back to.

[A]

What's the redemption arc like?

[E]

Oh, I went. I went into. You know, I apologize for my crimes. You know, I'm sorry I went. Volunteered to rehab. You know, this is kind of a redemption arc. Then, you know, he's gotten better. Something to talk about.

[B]

So this is it for me. If I. If I'm right and they're wrong, I'm head in head with Ming, and it comes out to the next question. If I'm wrong, I'm out. I'm out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't. I can't do it.

[A]

Yeah. What was it, man?

[D]

This one. 100% true happened.

[C]

Now, the reason I. I said true. Yeah, I think I was at that car.

[D]

I think you were at that.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[C]

I vaguely remember something like that happening. He went to jail. For the weekend, right?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

He missed the whole weekend.

[D]

Yeah. We were all joking that. I was like, man, it's gonna be tough to make your guarantee from jail.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

No. Yeah. There's no judges over the weekend, so he couldn't appear before the court until Monday. So we were making fun of him mercilessly.

[C]

Oh. See?

[A]

20, 15.

[D]

15.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

11 years ago.

[B]

Jesus, that's rough.

[C]

Punched a man who asked him to leave a party.

[A]

It's going to come down to this. Get him. Last question.

[D]

As far as I know, he hasn't hit anyone since, so I guess that's good.

[A]

Ming bought liquor for a cast member of a very popular sports movie. Movie. After. He kept hounding him relentlessly. The actor was later kicked out of the con for being drunk.

[C]

Facilitated by Ming Chun.

[A]

Yeah. Is this an underage actor?

[C]

No, he's like an 11 year old.

[D]

Years of age.

[A]

So why is he hounding you?

[D]

I guess he thought I could get him liquor.

[A]

Why couldn't he get his own liquor?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Maybe the con was instructed not to get him liquor because of this behavior. So he was going.

[D]

No one told me that. No one told me that wasn't menu Bennett.

[B]

What was he drinking?

[D]

It was Jameson.

[B]

Where'd you get the bottle?

[D]

Liquor storm.

[C]

You.

[B]

You left your table to get liquor for this guy?

[D]

It was before the con.

[B]

Before the con.

[E]

Was that the blind side kid?

[D]

It was not. Was that Michael or that guy or,

[E]

you know, he's got a conservative chef.

[D]

No, that's not right. Wherever the actors.

[B]

Why are you so willing why are you so willing to do tasks for people like this where you're like.

[A]

Yeah, that's why. So beloved. That is why when you walked in here today, you were walking on air.

[B]

I don't ask you to do tasks for me.

[A]

I know you don't, but other people do. And that's why they love him. That's why he is so lovable. He'll do anything.

[C]

He's got no dignity.

[A]

He's gonna get the butterfly costume for you. You don't ask him to do anything for qs, man. That's different, man.

[B]

Like that's, that's. He doesn't have to do it.

[A]

That's what this guy is like. Hey, need some fun? Can you give me some.

[E]

Some liquor, you butterfly boy.

[D]

Yeah. Not big deals. Hey, can you pick me up by the Jameson?

[C]

Sure.

[D]

Guy from well known sports movie.

[B]

You just went to a liquor store that you wouldn't have gone to anyway just to get him a bottle.

[E]

He Might have gone. He might have been going to anyway to pick up a lord or some crap like that.

[D]

Maybe because he can't.

[E]

Yeah, he's not gonna take it on the plane with him.

[B]

Who was this guy?

[D]

Maybe it was a guy from. You need the movie guy. Oh, who is he? Yeah, it was a guy. The main character from the Sandlot. The movie, the Sandlot.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

You're killing me, Smalls.

[B]

I'm saying it's true.

[A]

Why you say it?

[B]

Because I've had run ins with the cast of the Sandlot before, and they've all.

[A]

They party.

[B]

They've been like this.

[A]

They party a lot. They party hardy.

[B]

They party hardy and they don't fucking stop even when you want them to. So I have personal experience with this. So he may be lying, but in my personal experience, this is true.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. We had a problem with one of them at one of our after parties in LA when we played the Greek Theater. We had to be like, can we get destroyed the out of here.

[C]

I was in the sandlot.

[B]

I mean, yeah.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's how it was.

[E]

James Earl Jones.

[C]

Bry, this time, like you did last time, I'm gonna play Ming. Because every time he answered, he looked away. Okay, I'm gonna say it's falling.

[A]

False.

[E]

False.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Because even if he was hounding, I can't imagine Ming being like, yeah, I'll leave my table and my money. So it's like 9 o' clock in the morning.

[E]

So he's doing like a supply run.

[C]

Right?

[A]

I think if he could be. I don't think Ming even cares that he's in the sandlot. I think it'd be the fucking bathroom attendant. Could be like, hey,

[B]

I'm your guy.

[D]

You pick me up some tall boys. Like, sure.

[A]

I think he's so accommodating. He's just. He wants to be the man he wants. The man comes at a high price.

[E]

I've been at events where management told him to stop giving away alcohol to people.

[C]

So, yeah, we got in trouble in Kentucky for.

[D]

We did.

[E]

Okay, so it's happened multiple times then?

[D]

He did.

[E]

So that's why I find it not hard to believe. He is very accommodating when it comes to alcohol.

[A]

And so you're saying truth.

[E]

He's a facilitator. Yeah.

[D]

True, true.

[A]

And Brian, you're saying false.

[C]

I'm saying false. We got two trues and one false or two false and one true.

[A]

Oh, no, you said true. Bry said false. G said true. Ming, final Answer.

[D]

Brian Quinn knows these guys reputation as well. This absolutely happened. True.

[B]

It happened to me.

[D]

It happened.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so why did you say okay, I'll go get you alcohol?

[D]

I didn't think it was a big deal. Deal. I, I didn't know he had a problem at the time.

[C]

So why couldn't he get it himself? Like what was the reasoning?

[D]

I was driving, I was driving him to the con and he kept hounding me to stop at a liquor store.

[A]

Did you have to buy it?

[D]

He paid for it.

[A]

How come? He couldn't.

[D]

But I had to, I had to buy it. I just went. Weird, right?

[C]

Is that some kind of list or something? Yeah, that is weird.

[D]

Yeah, no, I just went and bought it.

[B]

Okay, let's see. On the man. He's the man.

[C]

Sandlot. Thomas Geary, who plays Scotty Smalls, was arrested at Busch Intercontinental Airport in Houston after being too deemed too intoxicated to board a United Airlines flight. During the incident, Geary, then 31, allegedly became belligerent and headbutted a police officer.

[A]

That could have been you mingling. If you said no, it could have

[C]

been a headbutted as he's driving.

[D]

You're killing me, Small. Killing me Smalls.

[B]

Actually killing me.

[D]

You're killing me, Smalls.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

So get him guys, get him wins.

[C]

Get him how?

[A]

Convention stories are cons.

[C]

The clean mind, human lie detector.

[B]

No alcohol. He's thinking faster than ever.

[A]

No, that's dangerous.

[B]

I know. We gotta get smarter.

[A]

Can he get any more clear headed? All right, well that's it.

[B]

All right boys.

[C]

Very quickly though, I want to alert people to a scam that's going on. If you get an tell them Steve Dave related scene scam. If you get an email from Sage asking for gas money, don't give it to her.

[E]

Well, number one, everyone knows she drives a Tesla.

[C]

I saw, that was very clever. I saw that comment. That was very clever. Good.

[A]

So somebody is acting as Sage asking for gas money.

[C]

That's what I saw on Reddit.

[B]

Yeah. And of people giving money.

[C]

I don't know nobody, nobody, nobody cop to giving money.

[D]

Now you get email, forget him asking for gas money. That's 100% legit. But still don't give him, don't give him gas money.

[A]

Tell him Steve Dave.