#665: Pu$$y Cod

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #665: Pu$$y Cod (Feb 9, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! features the usual crew—Bryan Johnson, Walt Flanagan, Brian "Q" Quinn—along with recurring guest Jimmy the Hair Guy. The conversation dives deep into the chaotic, often hilarious, realities of working at the US Postal Service (Jimmy's day job), as well as a revealing, tongue-in-cheek walkthrough of the “45 Questions Every Man Should Ask Before Getting Married,” since Jimmy is heading toward matrimony. The crew mix sharp critique, blue-collar war stories, and their trademark blend of crude, honest humor as they dissect everything from union protection, workplace shenanigans, and sex tables to relationship boundaries and wedding plans.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

I. Patreon Sock Polls and 70s TV on Plex (00:00–02:00)

• Q reminds Patreon supporters to register sock sizes and jersey preferences.
• Playful banter about Q’s quest for Beretta Season 4 and other vintage TV on Plex.
• Early show camaraderie and mock compliments on keeping the TSD office running.

Notable Quote

“If you don’t vote, you’ll be getting size extra large. That’s it. I’m just going to send you an extra large. I’m not going to hunt you down.” — Brian Quinn [00:13]

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II. The “Pu$$y Cod”: Union Cards, Job Security, and Postal Madness (04:00–23:00)

Jimmy’s Union “Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free Card”

• Jimmy explains his perceived invulnerability at work, union protection, and FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act).
• Contradicts the mythical “card”—it’s more about union strength and know-how than a physical cod(card).
• Admits to never using his FMLA legitimately: “The excuse I gave was migraines, but I don’t even really get migraines, so it’s bullshit.” [05:57]

Postal Service: Dysfunction and Anecdotes

• The group bemoans postal worker attitudes—especially negative interactions with female staff.
• Union protection vs. taxpayer interests: Q wonders if unions have created “a monster.”
• Revelations of sleeping on the job, rampant indifference, and insane behaviors among postal employees.

Notable Quotes

“I am the rot.” — Q (Brian Quinn’s nickname), jokingly confessing to the system’s decay [08:29]

“But women at the post office are fucking a different creature.” — Brian Quinn [10:20]

Mail Mishaps, Abuse, and “Sleeping on the Job”

• Jimmy and the guys riff about being part of the problem and the absurd self-awareness of postal workers.
• “I had to go to like six post offices every morning to drop off all my mail because otherwise they will literally want to crucify me when I walk in.” — Brian Quinn [19:47]
• Q defends his good experience with a cheery mailman, playfully ponders whether their attitudes invite trouble.

Gender at the Post Office

• Heated hyperbole on women at the post office being worse to deal with than men.
• To avoid upset staff, Q feigns cluelessness: “Like, I gotta take care of this kid.” [22:02]

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III. Postal Office Scandals and Debauchery (23:00–33:00)

Hook-Ups and Bizarre Incidents

• Jimmy dishes on a supervisor caught performing oral sex on another man at work in a breastfeeding room: “No, they're still there. I saw the guy last night.” [24:42]
• Supervisors filming fights, rampant drug use, employees having sex at work, and staff drinking on the job.
• Stories about stool samples exploding, public defecation, period-blood graffiti manifestos, and the casualness with which these events are cleaned up.
• “I had a fucking mail tub...literally was caked. The whole bottom was brown. Just a stool sample exploded in there.” — Jimmy [33:01]

The Emotional Fallout and Mental Health

• 75% of post office staff have mental health issues, Jimmy estimates [34:01].
• Old-timers complain about the “good old days,” and the group speculates if the private sector (FedEx/UPS) is any different.

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IV. Civil Service, Mechanic Dreams, and Quasi-Celebrity Weddings (36:00–54:00)

Jimmy’s Career Outlook

• Describes his stock room job (middleman between operations and maintenance) with pride and humor.

Mechanic Exam Struggles

• He repeatedly fails to become a mechanic, despite Bryan's attempts to help via “Juggalo-themed” study aids.

Marriage Planning Shenanigans

• Jimmy shares details of his upcoming renaissance fair-style wedding (May, in Sparta, NJ): costumes optional, best man as Swearengen, and quasi-celebrity guests like Richard Christy and possibly Fred Schneider of the B-52s.
• Frank, Troy, and other TSD regulars plan on Airbnb’ing nearby.

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V. Marriage Question Gauntlet (61:00–just before 101:11)

Sex, Money, and Housework

• Jimmy and fiancé have decided on no kids—pills, not vasectomy (much discussion about Tom's vasectomy).
• He admits most domestic work falls to her and she’s recently complained. “I would love to say it’s shared.” [71:02]
• Jimmy is not in charge of the finances (“not allowed to spend shit”), and often tries to hide purchases.

Relationship Transparency…and Lapses

• Admits to OnlyFans and chatting with women online—almost costing him the relationship.
• “I was doing it before we met, so I just never stopped. And this is why...” [95:03]
• Jimmy details balancing pet duties, clashing musical tastes, and being the less tidy partner.

Open Talk on Mental Health and Boundaries

• Jimmy is on Zoloft; struggles working overnight shifts, admits to “pouting and going silent” when yelled at.
• Both he and his fiancé apologize after arguments—rare for the TSD crew.

Fighting Styles and Making Up

• “Our fights always end with both of us apologizing to each other.” — Jimmy [88:10]
• The group is skeptical, but Jimmy insists it’s mutual.

Notable Quotes

“You can still jerk off to us.” — Brian Quinn, about abandoning OnlyFans for TSD Patreon [95:21] “Getting and keeping are two things, two different truths.” — Q, on relationships [75:26]

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VI. From Sex Tables to Wedding Drama (97:13–end)

Gathering of the Juggalos & The "Sex Table"

• The origin of Jimmy’s relationship: he met his fiancé at a Juggalo gathering and never pursued the orgies he expected (“I was chasing her around the whole gathering” [97:35]).
• The group jokes about the oddity of the “sex table”—Jimmy clarifies he only witnessed it.

Family Dynamics—and the Second Dad

• Jimmy expresses love for Walt, likening him to a “second dad,” prompting banter about who ranks as his real father.
• Jimmy assures Walt that the wedding will be tamer than its Juggalo reputation, and promises kid-friendly food options.

RSVP Drama and Fan Intrigue

• The crew play up whether Walt will actually attend the wedding, with Jimmy saying, “You can just pop your head in” and leave, it would mean the world [111:44].
• Banter about “wannabe” TESD celebrities and fervent fans who’ll be at the wedding.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On union "protection":

  “It would take me to, like, punch somebody in the face and even then I’d probably keep my job.” — Jimmy [05:09]

• On the state of the post office:

  “I have to go to like six post offices every morning...or else they will literally want to crucify me when I walk in.” — Brian Quinn [19:47]

• On boundaries and infidelity:

  “I was doing it before we met, so I just never stopped. And this is why…” — Jimmy, discussing OnlyFans and how it nearly ended the relationship [95:00]

• On apologies in arguments:

  “Our fights always end with both of us apologizing to each other.” — Jimmy [88:10] “That can’t be real, though.” — Brian Quinn [88:14] “Getting and keeping are two things, two different truths.” — Q [75:26]

• Jimmy on being the less desirable partner:

  “She’s so much better looking than you...I would think...you would do anything to lock that down.” — Q [92:11]

• On second chances:

  “She’s let me off the hook multiple times. Yeah, for different things.” — Jimmy [95:38]

• On boundaries and self-awareness:

  “I need to be told, though, when I fuck up.” — Jimmy [96:00]

• On Walt possibly attending the wedding:

  “You can just pop your head in...That’s more than enough.” — Jimmy [111:44]

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Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• Jimmy’s union “invincibility” at the Post Office – [04:05–08:00]
• R-rated workplace stories: fellatio in the breastfeeding room, explosive stool samples, postal fight clubs – [23:30–33:30]
• "45 Questions Before Marriage" rapid-fire Q&A – [61:01–101:11]
• OnlyFans confessions and relationship boundaries – [94:42–96:00]
• Breakdowns of fights, apologies, and communication failings – [86:28–91:03]
• Fan/friend/family wedding anxiety, RSVPs, “second dad” talk with Walt – [104:00–114:15]

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode showcases the TSD crew’s unique blend of candor, crass humor, and unfiltered honesty—never shying from each other's flaws or the absurdities of everyday life. In between the laughs (and gross-out stories), there’s a subtext around the erosion of institutions, the chaos of modern work, and the complexities of relationships, especially for self-professed man-children and underachievers.

Jimmy’s pending nuptials serve as both a punchline and a genuine opportunity for reflection, as the group probes whether he's truly ready to be a husband—and what it takes for any of them to shed old habits. Throughout, Jimmy’s transparency, self-deprecation, and the squad’s riffing on everything from mailroom orgies to the perils of OnlyFans make for peak TSD.

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Summary for the Uninitiated If you missed this episode, expect tales of union abuses, post office debauchery, cross-examination of wedding readiness, and a masterclass in both enduring friendship and relentless ball-busting—culminating in a heartfelt debate about showing up for those you love, even if just to pop your head in at their wedding.

Transcript

[Brian Quinn]

Real quick, before we start the show, if you are in the 20, 40, 60 and $100 tier and you haven't voted for what size socks you want, the deadline is this week to vote. If you don't vote, you'll be getting size extra large. That's it. I'm just going to send you an extra large. I'm not going to hunt you down. That's what size you're getting. So please go vote now. And for the $100 tier, if you haven't placed your size on the hockey hoodie jersey, please go fill out that size poll now. And I want to let everybody know I am on Plex now and if there are any Plex users who may want to share their library with me, especially Beretta Season 4, I have it written down. Gidham. We are specifically me and Gidem are looking for season four of Beretta. I'm also looking for the Fantastic Voyage, cartoon policewoman and really any 70s shows. My Plex account email is jsb stashotmail. That's jsb stashotmail. And I eagerly await your friend requests.

[Bryan Johnson]

When's the last time? When's the last day they can send in the sock poll? The day.

[Brian Quinn]

The day. Wednesday.

[Bryan Johnson]

Wednesday.

[Brian Quinn]

February something. Yeah. This February 11th is the deadline for socks and hockey hoodie jersey poll. If you don't vote, you're just going to get an extra large pair of socks and whatever size hockey hoodie I have extra. I'm sorry that I can't do it any other way.

[Bryan Johnson]

The links will be on the Reddit show notes.

[Brian Quinn]

Will they?

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah, I put them up there now.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, good job. Office coach. Doing a great job lately. Got to give you props when props are due. You're not always sleeping. Sometimes you do have some good ideas. Sure.

[Bryan Johnson]

You're going to ask Declan to cut that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

In fact, the next guy that got on that forklift, nobody told him that it was on.

[Walt Flanagan]

The billionaire sperm drinker.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

My mailman is great. He's. He's a home run just like a.

[Brian Quinn]

But you're BQ though.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

No, you're bq. No, he doesn't.

[Bryan Johnson]

We used to have a great.

[Walt Flanagan]

People don't get their mail on a silver platter cue.

[Brian Quinn]

Tell him Steve Dave.

[Walt Flanagan]

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave. I'm here with bq. Hello, I'm here with Walt.

[Brian Quinn]

Yo.

[Walt Flanagan]

I'm here with. Get him.

[Bryan Johnson]

How you Stankin?

[Walt Flanagan]

And I'm here with Jimmy the hair guy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

What's up guys?

[Walt Flanagan]

What are you Doing here?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I have no fucking idea how to do. I have no idea. I have no idea.

[Brian Quinn]

This is only Jimmy's second appearance on TSD proper.

[Walt Flanagan]

Really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

As many shows as he's been on.

[Brian Quinn]

It's crazy, isn't it?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

That sounds unlikely. Wow.

[Brian Quinn]

The very first time when he bought the hair.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Right.

[Brian Quinn]

And now today, which blew my mind when he told me that.

[Walt Flanagan]

Wow, you bought more hair. That's why he's here.

[Bryan Johnson]

Bought some of the hair.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He is an outsized presence for a guy that's only been on once, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

He's made a big footprint.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeti sized footprint in TSD town, I would say.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Is this the first time you're on by yourself today?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, since my first. Yeah. Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So you were on the first time you were on, it was just you. There was no one, There was no other. Like Tom wasn't around?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no.

[Brian Quinn]

All right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. I mean, all my other appearances were Christmas 600 and then a bunch of Patreon shit.

[Brian Quinn]

Right, right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

This is a little nerve wracking.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I wouldn't worry too much.

[Walt Flanagan]

You'll be right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Big shoes, the film man.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, as you recall, last week you wanted more information about Jimmy's card that allows him to escape any repercussions.

[Walt Flanagan]

Consequences. Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I had concern for you, that I don't think it's a good idea to be on the Internet while you're at work. Showing that you're not working might be an old school attitude, I guess, but I saw a possible hammer being brought down on you or someone reporting you or some fucking bullshit that some cocksucking asshole on the Internet might do to you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I appreciate that.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I was told now, don't even worry about it. This guy's got a card that gets a get out of jail free card. And I guess that's what he's here for, to like.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, what is it?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I wish I had anything to add to that. I don't know anything about this cod. I learned about this cod like you guys. No, I don't actually have.

[Brian Quinn]

Or you told me that you have.

[Walt Flanagan]

I don't actually have a card.

[Brian Quinn]

You have like a status at work where. Oh, where no one can touch. Well, yeah, that's true of your conditions.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, it wasn't because my conditions. I mean, I'm union protected, so it would take me to like punch somebody in the face and even then I'd probably keep my job.

[Walt Flanagan]

So it's like. Like a teacher.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

No, you told me you have unlimited, like you could take as you can come back from break no matter what time it is. You could take off as much as you want. And then. And they can't say anything because you got a medically.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, you're talking about my fmla. That's for calling out.

[Brian Quinn]

What?

[Walt Flanagan]

What?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You act like you don't have any idea what we're talking about.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I don't have a.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

And then you, then you were like, oh, yeah, that's right, that. And then you're like, oh, yeah, that's right, that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I don't think that's really a pussycard. That's more like. That's like a medical thing that you're allowed to have for calling out.

[Brian Quinn]

But is it mental or is it physical? The reason you got the call, it's.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Supposed to be physical, but the excuse I gave was migraines, But I don't even really get migraines, so it's bullshit.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, that what you just said on Mike, isn't that gonna get you in trouble?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, the Postmaster General's not gonna hear this.

[Brian Quinn]

How do you know?

[Walt Flanagan]

He might be a huge fan.

[Bryan Johnson]

Do you know Flo used to work for the Postmaster General, the yarn lady.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Did she?

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

For him specifically?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, she gave it up to fucking sell yarn. She had a dream, but she gave.

[Walt Flanagan]

It up to the Post. I was like, wow, that's a bold claim.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I mean, I'll tell you this. The, the, the people that I work with that know my, about my involvement in this show, like, love it, like, think it's, like, the greatest fucking thing. So I don't worry about it. Like, I, you know, I, they asked me for a Q and A. I had time. I didn't do it all in one sitting either. I, I, in fact, I think if you watch it, I changed my shirt a few times because I did over the course of multiple days, but, you know.

[Walt Flanagan]

So you didn't do it for an hour straight?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no. Plus, they were still trickling questions, like, days later and shit, but.

[Walt Flanagan]

Well, now it's been multiple Q and A's, right?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, just one.

[Walt Flanagan]

Just one. I thought you said you just did one last night.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That was a get him, you know, with me.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, okay.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What do you mean? Huh? How is get us get him?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I walk in. Hey, do a Q and A last night? Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Dumb shit.

[Walt Flanagan]

So you said yes, and I believed it. Yeah. Based on priority Q and A's that I've seen.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, yeah, no, I did one. I did one you know, some Aunt Discord requested it. You know who runs it? That chick Meghan you gave the. The kitten to.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's one of the admins. Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

So they. They just gathered a bunch of questions and, you know, I don't know why anybody wanted that, but you have no.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Concerns about work, huh? You're literally like, union gig, motherfuckers. Suck it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's. That's postal mentality, dude. People sleep on the job, like, right out in the open. Plus, I'm on overnights now. Like, there isn't a lot going on. They do like, the people that actually are Postal service.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I had a union gig, and I don't recall this sort of, like, free.

[Walt Flanagan]

Reign to do whatever.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's wild, dude. We were very protected people in the.

[Bryan Johnson]

Ambulance bay with a COD or something.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, I just. I'm like. I mean, good for you. But, like, do you think that unions have turned into a monster of some sort, that. That, like, now taxpayers could pay for naps?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think about it much.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, I'm happy with it, but.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you think this is why the postal service has deteriorated to the point.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Of where it's at now is that.

[Walt Flanagan]

100% I'm a major part of the problem.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I am the rot.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't even. I don't even deal with the mail. But the people that do deal with the mail are.

[Brian Quinn]

They're insane.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And then they're asleep.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, they're insane. They treat you as if you have entered their home and just have woken them up and be like, can you mail this for me?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You just deal with the people on. On the, you know, the service side. Like, I'm dealing with the people on the inside.

[Brian Quinn]

It's absolutely insane. The mentality that some postal workers have. I've met one outlier, just wonderful, kind human being who I treat very well at the end of the year because I tell them, yeah, it's like your kind are trash, except they are.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

This is why I'm g. You a big check. What?

[Bryan Johnson]

The Postmaster General. He's not allowed to accept tips?

[Brian Quinn]

No. He's not allowed to accept gifts.

[Walt Flanagan]

Postman can't accept tips.

[Bryan Johnson]

No, they can't. A government employee can't accept a gift over $50 without reporting it up the. Like, the chain.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He didn't give any names. He's fine.

[Walt Flanagan]

It was $49, wasn't it?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's fine.

[Brian Quinn]

It was $49.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. My. My. My mailman is great. He's. He's a home run. Just like a.

[Brian Quinn]

But you're BQ though.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

No, you're bq. No, he doesn't.

[Bryan Johnson]

We used to have a great.

[Walt Flanagan]

Most people don't. Silver platter.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He doesn't. He doesn't. He barely speaks English. He's like the nicest guy. Like, he's, he's, when he's not the. He takes time to, like, put the mail where it belongs. You know what I mean? He puts in the right place. If there's a package, he brings it right to the door.

[Brian Quinn]

But he doesn't have supposed to do.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, I know. Like, when he's not there, he's like, it's, it's a shit show. It's a rude woman sometimes. Like, it's, it's not great. I believe he's the man.

[Brian Quinn]

I believe women are the worst of the postal employees.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I would 100% agree. 100%.

[Brian Quinn]

Dudes are indifferent, but they're not looking to fuck you over.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, you're exactly right.

[Brian Quinn]

They're not looking to fuck your world up, guy, because they're just more like, I don't give a shit. I don't care what it is. As long as I could do as little as possible. I'll be an asshole, but at least you could drop your mail off. But women at the post office are fucking a different creature.

[Bryan Johnson]

I remember that interaction I had with Maureen. He sent me down to pick up something and she's like, oh, this got returned. Don't worry, I'm not going to charge you for it.

[Walt Flanagan]

I mean.

[Brian Quinn]

No postal installations that we want to name by towns, right?

[Walt Flanagan]

Okay.

[Bryan Johnson]

But she was like, yeah, I'm not going to charge you for this getting returned. And I was like, as far as I know, you've never had to pay if a piece of mail gets returned.

[Brian Quinn]

I do believe that is something that they can do. If it gets returned to sender, they can charge you for it. The sender.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Bryan Johnson]

I thought that was built into the, like, the postage you pay.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So now knowing that that was based on your ignorance, are you like, oh, maybe she was cool.

[Bryan Johnson]

I looked it up and I could not find anything that supported that.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Right.

[Brian Quinn]

She was a, she was a witch.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

She's a witch.

[Brian Quinn]

She was a witch. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Wow.

[Brian Quinn]

Man, I, I, I want to get on her good side. Maybe I told the story, but I want to get on her good side so badly that one time I was in there and she was ranting and raving, throwing shit around in the back room, and I'm like, oh, God. As she came up to see who was at the counter. And I'm like, I couldn't. I didn't even. I just looking at the floor, being like, just. Can she just not go get. You know, just lay into me. She starts screaming that she's the only one there.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

And that this special sack has to be delivered to a different postal. Sir, like, in like three towns away.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

She can't do it. And she's like, how am I supposed to do this? And yada, yada. And I was like, well, I'll do it. I said, I go, I'll go. I'll bring the sack over to this guy. I don't care. You know, I'm out going that way anyway, figuring this will get me in.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

I do it. I bring it in there. The guy's not even like, thank you. I'm just like, hey, you brought some mail. It was not full of anything. It was just an empty sack, a special kind of bag that he needed. And I brought it over.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

They were delivery service. They can't figure out how to get it.

[Brian Quinn]

I swear to God as my. On my mother's life, on her. Like, she was like. I was surprised she took me up on the offer because I was like, okay. She goes, just do this. Ask for this guy. He'll come up. He was so, like, perplexed. And I was like, yeah, I will say her name was Mary. Asked me to drop this off. And he's like, okay. And I was like, all right, see you.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

And then the next day, I saw. I was like, yeah, I delivered that sack. Was everything cool? She's like, yeah, yeah. And then she starts bitching about something else. Not even a thank you.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

No special treatment after that? Nothing. No. They're. They're. They're a beast unto themselves. The post office.

[Bryan Johnson]

Well, Brian, I were talking because I'm going to have to either get a real ID or a passport soon, and my father's going to have to get a real ID soon. And Brian was retelling his story about. And I read him about trying to get a real ID in New Jersey.

[Brian Quinn]

I went to the dmv. I got one. It was like lickety split.

[Walt Flanagan]

I went and with. With Mary Beth, and mine was fine. It was like, no problem at all. But hers, she had to have a letter from, like, a federal tax authority or something from the government. Like, it's just a random thing.

[Brian Quinn]

They're like, you just skate it through and then just. There's a certain number of people, like, by the 10th person has to have this letter, no matter who it is.

[Walt Flanagan]

It could be. I don't know. I had a letter. I didn't have any envelope. But when Marybeth got up, the lady's like, you have to have an envelope with this. And she's like, why? Yeah, dmv. And it was one of those pain in the ass, DMV ladies. And so Mary Beth gets out of line. She gets in the line again, goes to a different person and just gets a real id. No envelope necessary because I went to get my.

[Brian Quinn]

Renew my license. And they're like, do you want a real id? And I was like, I just have all the paperwork my wife gave me. So I'm like, yes, because I don't know, she laid it all out. I'm supposed to just turn it in and everything is there. And I'm good. So I said yes, but I really wasn't supposed to be there for real id. She goes, well, do you have this? I was like, yes. And she's like. She's looking around. She's like, I guess you got everything. She goes, go ahead. And they took the picture. Yeah, but women are different, man. Guys are more willing to just be like, they don't want to be bothered. So they don't want to, like, open up a can of worms that causes them more work.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Let's just get this over with as soon as possible.

[Brian Quinn]

Women are more like, I want to fuck this guy's day off.

[Walt Flanagan]

So petty. Yes, I remember that from Red bank when we. When we used to be right next to the post office. And sometimes it would be like. Normally it was like, the guy. If the guy was there, he'd be like, hey, what's up? And like, we would just. I'm talking like, you know those big baskets we would carry down, like, roll them down with, like, shit in them. But if it was one of the ladies, forget it, man. There were a few women there that were, like, unbearable. You would just, like, turn the card around. I'll just wait. We'll mail it tomorrow.

[Bryan Johnson]

Do you remember John, our great mailman at 35 Broad Street? Yeah, the surfer. Like, he was.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, yeah, he was.

[Bryan Johnson]

So, yeah, like, he would scan your package and just as he was getting to your door, you would get a notification that it was being delivered.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

And then meanwhile, like on Saturdays, he'd be someone different. And the guy would come in and he'd be like, hey, I'm supposed to get a package today. And he'd pull out his little thing and you could already See, there was an X there. And then you get a message later at night saying, you know, the business was unopened. And so he had pre already said it, that, you know, it wasn't being able to be delivered. But John. Oh, John was great.

[Brian Quinn]

I've been at post offices where guys have just started behind the counter. Post employees have just started talking to no one. Like they're talking to themselves, but out loud so that the whole, the whole line of customers can hear them going like, oh, you're pretty annoyed that the line's so long, huh? He's not talking to anybody.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, he's talking to someone.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, guess what? Maybe when you get rid of us, you can bring your mail to Walmart then. Let's see how that works out for you.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He's going, what's going on over there? I don't have these experiences. I go to my post office.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't have a sister to go.

[Walt Flanagan]

To the post office.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

Do I work, Helen?

[Bryan Johnson]

What were they saying at the post office?

[Brian Quinn]

What small talk were they making so I could grab it and make myself look like the common man?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Did my top hat come in? Did they have my top hat at the post office?

[Bryan Johnson]

My monocle fits perfectly.

[Walt Flanagan]

That would be a great video. Q buys a roll of stamp. So just follow him down there, see if he can navigate his way through it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I mail shit home when I'm on the road. I mail shit home all the time. And I like a post office. I don't have these problems. Yeah, yeah. One time I, I had to get. Remember? Do they still do them, Jimmy? The checks that the, the post office will cut for you?

[Brian Quinn]

Money order.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Money order, Is that it? The postal money order? Probably a few years back, I had to get one for 100 bucks and the woman accidentally wrote $1,000. And I didn't realize till I was home and I was like, what the fuck? I got a thousand dollar check here. I only paid 100, you know, and of course the first thing that pops in your mind is like, sweet, you'll never know. But I was like, I don't know, she's gonna get in trouble and stuff like that. So I brought it back and, and the woman just started crying and stuff like that and was hugging me and she said that they, they were gonna take it from her paycheck if I didn't bring it back. So I think my reputation probably took.

[Brian Quinn]

That check and cashed it, knowing that she was gonna pay no price. I guarantee you she just pocketed that money. She was crying, she's crying because some fucking dope brought it back. She's crying tears of joy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They avoided it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

They, they, they, they cut out of the check. I mean, I just have a good relationship with the man. I, I don't know what to say.

[Walt Flanagan]

Did you ever get a hug at the post office, Walt?

[Brian Quinn]

Have I ever gotten a hug at the post office? No, I had. Not even close.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I'd like to see your guys attitude when you walk into this post office to see what's bringing all this trouble on. Because like, maybe it's the aura that you guys come in with.

[Brian Quinn]

You know what the aura is?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

There's a woman behind your cowboy.

[Walt Flanagan]

Start.

[Brian Quinn]

I'm telling you, the, the no one can even see is my face because my, if I have a lot of packages. Yeah, that's enough. That's enough to turn everybody in there into a rabid dog like that just wants to like, defend their domain from packages. They, they want to keep you away from the counter so you don't bring packages up. It feels.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I don't know about that.

[Brian Quinn]

I swear to God, Q, I'm not.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Why is Jimmy nodding? Why? Why?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's more work for them. They hate working.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, but it's their job.

[Brian Quinn]

They don't care.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I hate working.

[Brian Quinn]

I like working.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They don't care. They hate it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I fucking drive in here, I'm looking to drive off a fucking bridge. You think I love working? I always thought the post office would be a, would be like a good gig, man.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, I kind of love it, but most people hate it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Reasons.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it made.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Like, don't, don't, don't. The mail carriers have like a certain, like, freedom. They're out. Nice spring day.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes and no.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Hi, Mrs. Jones.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Yes and no. I mean, I, I've heard that as of recent, they're like tracking them to make sure they like get back in time and that they're not also not around. Yeah, but like, I've also heard like, we had carriers that would like go home for like six hours and then get back in the truck and deliver a couple pieces of mail.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

God, I've.

[Brian Quinn]

There's so many horror stories that I have that I've never told because no one will believe them.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

I've walked in. There's a notorious post office right close to me that years ago when we first started doing the Patreon, I couldn't go in with all the mail that we have to go out for the Patreon per month. I couldn't go into One post office and drop it all off. It's just too much.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Okay.

[Brian Quinn]

So I have to. I had to go to like six post offices every morning to drop off all my mail because otherwise they will literally want to crucify me when I walk in.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

And they're not like, like, just bring it around the back there.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, I remember that story.

[Bryan Johnson]

His guy was on vacation.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yes.

[Bryan Johnson]

And so he tried bringing it around the back.

[Brian Quinn]

And oh, my God, those two ladies, fucking ladies again, freaked out and were like, you're not allowed to go back. There's a million reasons why I can't do it against code or whatever. But anyway, so I. I would deliver small chunks of mail through various post offices from all the way from Highlands to Old Bridge.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Wow.

[Brian Quinn]

Jesus Christ.

[Bryan Johnson]

He's like Batman ordering his cow at Batman Begins. We order this to a company in.

[Walt Flanagan]

China, but usually like a good 20 miles.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. It is a far circle that I was traveling at times just so I.

[Bryan Johnson]

Could deliver Patreon gifts, just so I.

[Brian Quinn]

Could not feel the intense hatred from the postal.

[Bryan Johnson]

Okay, well then there's the scan sheets that you brought. The one scan sheet in a day late.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, there's so many stories too.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I don't have these.

[Brian Quinn]

I deserve to be, like, fed grapes.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, but you're in there a lot more.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You're in there a lot more.

[Brian Quinn]

Wow. The war stories that I have at.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

The post office, I gotta be honest, man. I gotta stick up for the postal. I can't even remember a bad interaction I've had.

[Brian Quinn]

Good guy now, though.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Okay.

[Brian Quinn]

And I will defend him with my life.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Like if, like, if there's a check.

[Walt Flanagan]

At the end of the year, I.

[Brian Quinn]

Would, I would go through. I would run into a burning building for this guy. A burning postal building.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Do you ever try, like, when you walk in, like, I'm cheery, like, hey, what's up? No, but what I do is I like to put this, like, kind of dumb look on my face. Like, I don't know what's going on. No, a little extra dumb. Like a little half littered.

[Brian Quinn]

Like you've been partying.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

No, no, no, literally, like, like I'm like, I've been touched in the head. Like a little bit. I noticed it kicked something in these women where they're like, I gotta take care of this kid.

[Walt Flanagan]

They want to nurture you.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Walt Flanagan]

They want to nurture you.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I do do that, baby bird. Yeah, exactly. Like, look at this poor. Like, I gotta help. I think a motherly instinct kicks in.

[Brian Quinn]

So now I gotta Go like, who's a fucking good Michael Caine on them Now I gotta do. I gotta go into a role and act and act like I'm touched in the head. So, yeah, so they'll just take my packages.

[Bryan Johnson]

Why you make me bring packages at the office now? The post office?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Okay, sweetie, let me help you out and stuff. I get called sweetie and stuff like that and, you know, I get called.

[Brian Quinn]

A lot of names. Sweetie isn't one of them.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I think you. I think you got a Michael Kaney thing, bud. You just gotta be. Try it, try it next time. Like you're a little fucking need to do it anymore.

[Brian Quinn]

Thank God I. I've got a good guy now, man. He is. He is the salt of the earth. And he. And I fear that, you know, he's going to be tainted by them at some point, though. Like he's just going to go over to the dark side.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Right?

[Walt Flanagan]

You know, but, oh, his cheery disposition will be soured by years of being.

[Brian Quinn]

Worn down, broken down by the.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That happens. Yeah, that happens.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah. You've seen. Even people come in all cheery and then they get broken.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It doesn't take long.

[Bryan Johnson]

How long did it take you to get broken?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm. I'm not broken, man. I'm. I'm still.

[Walt Flanagan]

He's the problem with the post office. Don't you understand? Like, he's the crux of the problem.

[Bryan Johnson]

He's the carrier.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Are there. Would you work in the back with any women or. They're all up front.

[Brian Quinn]

So.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I work in a big facility, so it's like a thousand people in there. But yeah, I've. I've definitely worked with women and they're the worst.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Are they on the job? Shenanigans? Like people like hooking up by the old mail sorting machine?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, not necessarily. Well, okay, so, I mean, just last night I was talking to these guys. A manager got caught. Our supervisor got caught recently blowing another guy. It's like prison. Holy. We have like a room.

[Brian Quinn]

I'd be a bitchy boot too, if I just got done blowing a guy, then some walks in with 15 boxes.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You got a little something on your mouth. You might get this out for me.

[Brian Quinn]

What, they're blowing each other?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, we have a room for like respecting others, like breast pump and I guess two dudes were in there blowing each other and somebody went in there for something and caught him. We had another guy who got fired.

[Brian Quinn]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Were they employees?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

They just weren't too vagrants that just wandered in.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And vagrants kick into our building. Vagrants kick into our building.

[Brian Quinn]

So it's two employees on the clock.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

One was a supervisor. One was a supervisor. Oh, and he's still there.

[Bryan Johnson]

Was he supervising? Probably.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, most likely, yeah. And he's still there. The one guy that did get fired recently was also a supervisor, but this dipshit was already on thin ice. And the final straw was, I guess two employees were. Wanted to fight. Wanted to physically fight. And this. This idiot tells them, go across the street to the Enterprise. And the dude goes with them and films them. Fight. Enterprise. Cause, you know.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And rental car. Yeah, and the dude goes with them and films these two guys fighting. And you can hear his voice on the video. So eventually bum fights.

[Brian Quinn]

It was.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Although one dude definitely kicked the out the other guy. But the idiot filming was a supervisor. He just got. Yeah, he probably didn't get fired. He probably got transferred like a priest.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So the guy. So you know, one of the guys that was. That was blowing the other guy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, I don't know him personally, but I know who he is.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, but everybody knows.

[Brian Quinn]

How come they can't get fired? Like, there's no rule in the bylaws that, like, if you get caught sucking dick, you will be.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm sure there is. I mean, I don't even know how strong their union is because the union obviously fucking hates management. But somebody protected them.

[Walt Flanagan]

So neither one of them got fired?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

God, no.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They're still there. I saw the guy last night. We fucking. We had.

[Brian Quinn]

Was it a secret that they were a couple, or was it.

[Bryan Johnson]

I don't know.

[Brian Quinn]

Was it a shock? You know, if they're a couple, I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Think they're just hooking up.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, that's. You know what I mean? Sure.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Many people have blown me that I'm not. Like, we're in a relationship now, but.

[Brian Quinn]

Did you have any inkling those guys were an item?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm sure people did. I mean, I. I work in an office, so, like, you know, word gets to me through everybody else. But I'm sure somebody.

[Brian Quinn]

I'm sure it's not a rumor. Like, it's like.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, this is fact. This is fact. Somebody. Somebody walked in. Somebody walked in on these guys.

[Brian Quinn]

Somebody went to Vendetta. I was like, you know how I'm gonna get back at Steve?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Potentially say that?

[Brian Quinn]

Like he was blowing Mike.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, potentially.

[Walt Flanagan]

One hella.

[Brian Quinn]

One time I would have said Ming.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

We had. We had somebody. They call it mdl.

[Brian Quinn]

Like.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like the top Level in the building. Got caught drinking on the job. They sent her out for a while and then our plant manager came back from a vacation or something and hired her right back. Like everybody gets away with everything.

[Bryan Johnson]

That's a medical condition.

[Brian Quinn]

Is it?

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Well the fire department is if, if you self reported like substance abuse they'll send you to the farm. But if they catch you, you're fired.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Nobody is self reporting.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Nobody.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Everybody's getting caught. People, their cars all the time. Place smells like weed, which is.

[Bryan Johnson]

I think there's more lives on the line at the firefighting.

[Brian Quinn]

Why are postal employees so horny?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know. A lot of flesh too.

[Brian Quinn]

This is why my doesn't get to where it's going.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, it really is all over my body is I. I have.

[Bryan Johnson]

All the boxes are squished.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I have very little to do with the mail. But the people that do are totally your up.

[Brian Quinn]

This is an insider.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

This is bad, man. I always thought like there was like a pride to postal workers.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I have all I have. I'm definitely sleep or snow or ice.

[Brian Quinn]

That they find like a letter. Pony express.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

They find a letter in the machine from the 1950s and they're like, I have to, I have to mail this letter and they get it there and stuff like that. Those are.

[Walt Flanagan]

Can I tell you, every neighbor, every.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Neighbor I have done that. I have found old mail like in the building. And I do have a certain pride about like I'm going to make sure this goes to a machine. This was hidden under. You ever a poster? They roll under machines all the time. You're awaited months for a poster to get to you. It's happened to me 10 times.

[Bryan Johnson]

How big is your dead letter area?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Well, what's a dead letter?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't even think we have one.

[Bryan Johnson]

Did you say you. Oh no, I don't want to admit that crime.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

What were you.

[Bryan Johnson]

You found a magazine in the undeliverable dead letter.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh yeah. Well, they just throw that away. It was a MAD magazine. Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm taking this.

[Bryan Johnson]

It goes into the compound. Dude.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

There's a whole section. Yes, there's a whole section where they send like loose shit that came out of a package. Like shit that's happened to you.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh God, yes.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

There's a section for that. And like they have tubs full of fucking video games and DVDs and all kinds of cool shit. And sometimes when I was a custodian, I don't leave my office now. But I was a custodian. I would Occasionally walk by and take a little peek, you know, and see if anything caught my interest, you know, no one's gonna do anything.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

This is wild, man. This is shattering. What I thought.

[Walt Flanagan]

The seedy underbelly of the US Postal Service.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I had nothing. I had a hat. I continue to have a high.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

This is the.

[Brian Quinn]

Shake your confidence in the post.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

We're in Jersey, I think. I think in New York, it's different.

[Bryan Johnson]

So I don't know if, you know, the post office has a specific stamp for items that are found in supposedly empty equipment.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've never seen that.

[Bryan Johnson]

I've seen it plenty of times.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've never seen that.

[Bryan Johnson]

So, like, the bins, like, when they get stacked, sometimes they're still mailing them. And then when they go to a different post office, like, years later, they pull it up.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, that happens all the time.

[Bryan Johnson]

Put this stamp on it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

We have guys that literally do what's called mail search because shit just fucking ends up everywhere. And so these guys have to walk around the entire building looking under shit, and they. They. They literally push a shopping cart like you'd find a supermarket, and they just fill it with fucking mail they found in weird fucking places.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Is any of. Is any level of mail safe? Is that, like, if I overnight it, they're gonna. There's gonna be eyes on it the whole time.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Your best bet is whatever. The fucking most you're gonna pay is your best bet. And even then, there's no.

[Walt Flanagan]

Wow.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Like, we. Okay, so.

[Walt Flanagan]

So you're saying overnight. If you spend more money, they're more likely to pay attention to it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

The faster. The faster it's going to get where it's going is your best bet? Because if it's got to fucking travel through different facilities like mine. We. I work with somebody whose fucking fiance died recently and she had his ashes shipped to our office.

[Brian Quinn]

Media rate.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes.

[Brian Quinn]

And she couldn't even pay for standard shipping.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And the woman I worked. Work with, I went out to, like, pick up, like, the. The. We get in, like, you know, for the office I work in, and there was this envelope of ashes on the floor next to the elevator.

[Brian Quinn]

Was it in a box?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It was in an envelope. The urn came separate. But, like, if you knew what goes through that and you still have somebody's ashes mailed to you, like, you're insane. But that's people I work with.

[Bryan Johnson]

Did you say you've had stool samples burst open?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Yeah. As well as people shitting on the job. A woman shit herself last week on a forklift. But that's another story.

[Brian Quinn]

Intentionally, she just got sick. Of what? She couldn't hold it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Apparently she's a raging alcoholic and she was driving a forklift and shit herself and then took her pants off in one bathroom across the building with no pants on.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

We're living in end times.

[Bryan Johnson]

She was Porky Piggin.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

This is not a healthy society. This is not a society that's gonna.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

When I was a custodian, though.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, the male's gotta get through. If she's gotta walk through an installation fucking from bottom down naked, I don't care.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Those are the people handling your mail.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I agree with that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Those are the people handling your mail.

[Bryan Johnson]

Neither nor piss or.

[Brian Quinn]

All right, so she's waddling around with. No. Is she hot at least?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, no. That was my first question too. I really wanted to know who it was.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

And you want to know if she's hot is your first question.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, if she did it unintentionally, it can. Like, what if she did it like she just couldn't hold it? She was sick.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, but what does heartbeating have to do with it?

[Brian Quinn]

Well, you were gonna sneak a peek. Once she's cleaned up through the installation.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

She took all the way back.

[Brian Quinn]

On the way back, I assumed she's gonna finish the rest of the day bottomless.

[Walt Flanagan]

Right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think she went. I don't know. I don't know what she did.

[Bryan Johnson]

She found some pants in the dead letter room.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

There have been multiple pairs of pants found around the building. So not totally out of the question.

[Brian Quinn]

She takes her pants off, right, and.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Walks across the building and whatever the fuck, and then cleans herself in another bathroom. And then I don't know what happened after that, but multiple. Multiple people.

[Brian Quinn]

No, dudes, There were like, hey, Celia, let me give you my pants.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, you guys are. In fact.

[Brian Quinn]

In fact, there's no gentleman at the fucking post office.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

In fact, the next guy that got on that forklift, nobody told him that it was shit on. And it was like a group of guys standing around waiting for the. What poor fuck was going to fucking sit on it next? And as soon as he did, it was a mix of oohs and.

[Brian Quinn]

No.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

How did you feel? Yeah, I wasn't there for that. But stool samples? Yeah, dude, I. When I was a custodian, I dealt with so much crazy shit. Like, I had. I remember, like, I had a fucking male tub. You know, the white male tubs that, like, literally was caked. The whole bottom was brown. Just a stool sample exploded in there. And I Had to fucking clean it out. And like you have to put on a Hazmat suit for that. You have to fucking.

[Brian Quinn]

Why can't they just throw those bins out? Don't they give those bins out for.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's a great question. That is a fantastic question.

[Brian Quinn]

Like, my guy gives me like 30 of them and I'll have small packages. He said, just take him home, bring him back.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That is a great fucking question.

[Brian Quinn]

Why were you just not like, hey, I think I throw this one out.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think somebody just hated me.

[Bryan Johnson]

And in all these years, he never thought about that.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Or like recently, literally my last couple months as a custodian, some woman in period blood went Charles Manson in a fucking. In the handicap stall, wrote a fucking manifesto on the wall and fucking again. She worked there, I would assume. So like you need a badge to get in. I don't remember what it said.

[Bryan Johnson]

Take a picture of it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I definitely, definitely did, yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

Okay.

[Brian Quinn]

And what was the manifesto?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't remember, but it was some crazy shit.

[Brian Quinn]

Was it about working there or. It had nothing to do with what.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think anything to do with the post office. I think she was just, you know.

[Brian Quinn]

She was mentally ill. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Which, which is like 80%.

[Bryan Johnson]

She'll sat you bringing mail every day.

[Brian Quinn]

So you would put. What percentage did you put of the people who work at the post office as having mental problems?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

75%.

[Bryan Johnson]

Wow.

[Walt Flanagan]

Jesus.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What about the other 25? Are they like this?

[Walt Flanagan]

I gotta get outta here.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Pretty much aren't there.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Are there any old timers left that are like, I remember when.

[Brian Quinn]

The night.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

So. Yeah, well, I shouldn't say so many. A lot of them are gone. But yes, there is, there is definitely.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

About the good old days or they're.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like, oh, that's all I hear about. All I hear about and how much things have changed and yeah, yeah, it's all I hear about.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Do you think that this is something to do with the shipping industry? Like, is this going on at FedEx? Is this going on? Or are they like UPS or they like, they. This private bitch, we're going to fucking ride your ass.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I think the fucking is going on everywhere. Well, yeah, I think the, the, the drug use is going on everywhere. I don't know about the shitting and the, the period blood, but because my.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Friend worked at ups, he said they would scream. They were like, get, fuck it, go, go get the.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I've heard that too. They, I mean, believe me, they scream at my job, but nobody listens well.

[Walt Flanagan]

They have GPS on all those trucks, right. So they, they know you're not fucking around.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I get that's the new thing.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. To carry is. That's the new thing.

[Bryan Johnson]

I think it's that thing that they carry and you know in UPS has a tracker on it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, the scanner thing. Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

So you get tested, drug testing every so often.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I, I've been. I was drug tested when I got hired and haven't been since. The only people that drug tests that are carriers, if they get into any kind of accident like you can get into a. You could slip on ice and crash and they drug test you. Other than that, nobody gets drug tested. It's only when you get hired, you're fingerprinted and drug tested.

[Brian Quinn]

Background check?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know. I don't think so. We have, we have guys in our. That work there that look homeless. We have a guy who works there because I go out to smoke, you know, there's a guy at 2, 3 in the morning because I work overnight now it's a guy outside, 2, 3 in the morning, white kid, no jacket, short sleeves, eating his Wawa sandwich on a picnic table at 2 and like it's 10 degrees outside. Eating his Wawa sandwich at a picnic table, no jacket, watching some Tick Tock video, laughing maniacally talking to it. And I'm smoking like watching this lunatic. Like that's the kind of people we.

[Walt Flanagan]

And then you're working?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, he works. He actually works and operations. I work in maintenance.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Are you that. You're right. You're going to work post office to retire. Is this.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What's your path? Like what you ever going to. Have you reached Master General?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I don't want that. I. I'm close to my ceiling. I'm close to it. Yeah, I'm close to it. But I mean I got the job I wanted finally, which is not being a custodian. Like I work in the stock room now which has a lot more responsibility. But I'm really good at it and I really like it, so. So I'm very happy.

[Brian Quinn]

What are your responsibilities in the stockroom?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm the middleman between operations and maintenance. So like every time there's a fucking jam on a machine or something breaks, I get called. Then I have to call a mechanic. We're in charge of all the inventory. We're in charge of fucking putting in everybody's hours for like what they do for the day. Maintenance. Specifically. Maintenance. Yeah, It's a lot.

[Walt Flanagan]

That sounds like a lot. Like how do you have time to make videos and shit?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

There is downtime, you know what I mean? The machines aren't running the whole time, so when the machines aren't running, there's downtime.

[Brian Quinn]

Why does this need to be done overnight, though? Like, why is this something that can't be done during the day?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's a 24 hour operation, so.

[Bryan Johnson]

You know, I've tried to help Jimmy take tests and.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, that's never happening. I'll never be a mechanic. I've given up on that.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It's given up because you don't want to do it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I wanted to do it, but I don't have the.

[Bryan Johnson]

I would send him sample test questions. I got him a multimeter, so he learned how to. He would learn how to. I've bombed.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've bombed multiple fucking interviews to be a fucking mechanic. And I just.

[Walt Flanagan]

I remember you. You went to one, right? Recently.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, and it's. I fucking bombed them.

[Brian Quinn]

The questions they. They ask you, you fumbled them big time. I have no mechanical like Juggalo.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, no.

[Bryan Johnson]

Well, that's why I tried to help him do the test is I transformed the questions into Juggalo related things.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, you were actually really helpful. But in the end, it's still.

[Bryan Johnson]

And I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They gave me books to read. I was like, read another language, you know what I mean?

[Walt Flanagan]

Like, the test was in that breastfeeding.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Room.

[Bryan Johnson]

On a couch.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I might have passed that test, you.

[Brian Quinn]

Know, I can't even tell you how many times out of high school I took the civil test. Civil service test to become a postman.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Never got a call for it, huh?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You would have been good at it, I think. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, you would have been good.

[Brian Quinn]

I've been part of the old school, you know?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Fisher. Well, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, A lot of. I saw anybody stuck in.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, y' all would bought the hat.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Not on your watch.

[Brian Quinn]

Not on this guy's watch, not on this postman's watch.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Get that out of your mouth. Deliver this package.

[Walt Flanagan]

I haven't allowed one copy. Sucked since 89, and I'm not about to start.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But walking around in the cold delivering mails can't be fun, though.

[Brian Quinn]

I always thought one of the best jobs I ever had was paperboy. And to me, that's just a glorified paper boy. You just get paid like a hundred times more than a paperboy does.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, maybe. I mean, it's probably a little bit more responsibility.

[Brian Quinn]

I get to know my neighbor, you know, I'm like, hey, Mr. Johnson, I bet you. Hey, Walter, Social Security check here.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, thanks.

[Brian Quinn]

You sure look like you could work though, Mr. Johnson. I don't know.

[Bryan Johnson]

I don't know.

[Brian Quinn]

Why you getting this? Give me that check.

[Walt Flanagan]

Get the hell out of here.

[Brian Quinn]

Check from the taxpayers.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Release the dog quickly.

[Brian Quinn]

You sure look pretty healthy to me.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, the guys who love it doing.

[Brian Quinn]

That guy, get him down the street. Your guys look. Sure look like you could hold down a job.

[Walt Flanagan]

I don't remember postman be so judgmental.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

As long as you have a good route, man. Like those guys love it. If they have a great route, they love it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

That's. It's all the neighborhood, right? It's all like who you're in a.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

If you're in the hood neighborhood, you.

[Brian Quinn]

Know, that's dangerous, right?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And that's the junior guys.

[Walt Flanagan]

Like the.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know, that's like a. Almost initiation, you know.

[Walt Flanagan]

I've seen videos of like going into neighborhoods like high risk neighborhoods getting the kicked out.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, it's terrible.

[Walt Flanagan]

It's terrible.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Out of the mailman.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah. I knew, I knew carriers got guns pulled on them.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Or dogs are always attacking people in those neighborhoods and like. Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Got those drug dogs, you know, like.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes, like the crack house dog.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. Where they, they put them. Like they like feed them cocaine and bulb like gunpowder. Mix it together and give it to the dogs.

[Bryan Johnson]

My mom's partner used to do. She collected payphones. The money from payphones.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

She said she encountered the same thing.

[Walt Flanagan]

No dime there. I guess I'll go to the next one.

[Brian Quinn]

No, like the people are trying to rob her.

[Bryan Johnson]

Like everything is like you Wait, were.

[Brian Quinn]

You just code for like she was just checking the phone to see if there was any loose change or she was actually doing it as a job.

[Bryan Johnson]

She did it as a job.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Jeez.

[Brian Quinn]

Remember Mr. Zip? Yeah, remember?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Mr. Zip been retired by the post office?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think so.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't think Mr. Zip is crying tears of shame 100 as to what you fuckers did to his fucking pot.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I try to keep installation. I try to keep him proud, man. I really do.

[Brian Quinn]

But really by doing Q and A's at fucking.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I have downtime. I have downtime, man.

[Walt Flanagan]

What type of bearing should not be greased?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

This is the kind of shit a.

[Walt Flanagan]

Roller bearing, a steel bearing, a ball bearing or a bed bearing.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

This was like the. This was on the test, right, that I took. Oh, God. I. I still don't know.

[Walt Flanagan]

Let's get a hint. Get him.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You don't get when you take, I.

[Brian Quinn]

Would say a bad bearing.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think it's that? I'm gonna guess I'll go with a roll. A bearing.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I go, Not a roll.

[Walt Flanagan]

I'll go with B. 2A. Permanent sealed.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, that's what I thought. A sealed bearing doesn't need to be greased because it's got an internal.

[Brian Quinn]

All right, question.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't understand question two. Any of that.

[Brian Quinn]

Hold on, hold on. I. It's. Here it is. It's for you, Jimmy. Me? Let's say James in accounting invites you to the breastfeeding room.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

You don't you A, unbuckle your pants and meet him. They're bottomless, Porky Pig style.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Definitely not A, blow him till he.

[Brian Quinn]

Comes all over your face.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Is that B? Definitely not B.

[Brian Quinn]

Point him to your supervisor.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Okay, that sounds most likely.

[Walt Flanagan]

Or marry him.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm probably gonna go with C on that one. I mean, that's the real shit. You gotta know. Like, nobody fucking has any idea what the fuck that shit means.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Somebody does.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah. Really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, postal machines aren't like regular machines. Like, it's really just like pulling mail out of a fucking jam. Like, that's. That's most of what it is, you know? Unless, like, a motor goes, which happens frequently, I guess.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

This is depressing, man. I I this is shattering.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

What?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I thought that the mail service, all.

[Brian Quinn]

Our institutions are like this. It's not just the post office. They've all gone to shit. You point to something that you once had an opinion of that was, like, very well done and professional. Yeah, it'll be shattered. Shattered. That's what this younger generation that grew into adulthood has done. The Jimmy the Hair guys of the world have ruined it. All the hard work that our forefathers put into these companies and these institutions have been undone by people with cards that are like, you can't yell at me, so let me suck cock and get paid for it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It's true.

[Walt Flanagan]

That's what the card says.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I guess. I don't know. I haven't seen this card. I have no idea.

[Walt Flanagan]

Let's talk about Mr. Zip in a minute. First we got to read out some of these ads, man. What do we got here? Oops. Prize picks.

[Brian Quinn]

Super bowl is coming.

[Bryan Johnson]

The big game is coming.

[Walt Flanagan]

The big game is almost here. And there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than Prize Picks, where it always feels good to be right. There's a Big Game Max discount this week. Prize Picks has a special Max discount for the big game. Live in the app now. Oh, live in the app. Now. Sorry, Drake May. Do you know who he is, Walt?

[Brian Quinn]

Yes. He's the quarterback for the New England.

[Bryan Johnson]

New England.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

New England. You're not allowed.

[Brian Quinn]

Can't say the team name.

[Bryan Johnson]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, gosh. Okay. He's a quarterback in the professional football league.

[Walt Flanagan]

Jesus Christ.

[Bryan Johnson]

Who plays for New England.

[Walt Flanagan]

I don't understand. Well, he needs just one passing yard for the max discount to run. Just add another player to your lineup and if your picks hit, you can cash in.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Whoa.

[Walt Flanagan]

Let's deal. Prize pictures available here in California. There's available in California. Download the app and you can play. You can pick more on Christian McCaffrey. Do you know who he is, Walt?

[Brian Quinn]

He is a running back in San Francisco. He's not going to be super big game.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, no.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. So don't bet on him.

[Walt Flanagan]

All right.

[Brian Quinn]

Not even not bet. Don't pick him in your prize pick pool. This is not bad wagering.

[Walt Flanagan]

No, it's not. I don't. We're not sure what it is exactly. Yeah. But we wholly endorse it.

[Brian Quinn]

Prize picks is fluid.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Aren't we all?

[Walt Flanagan]

Learning Prize picks is simple to play. Just pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. If you get your picks right, you could cash in. Find your community on prize picks with a special new social feeds feature. You can share prize picks with your friends and copy lineups from winners with a single click. Copy lineups you like or use them as an inspiration for your own picks. You can even follow prize picks partners like us or tell and fade your picks with just one click missing your fantasy team. Is your league already over with prize picks? You don't have to wait until next year's draft to keep playing. Fantasy prize picks let you play fantasy football every week, even in the playoffs. Pick your favorite players and win when their projections hit every week. No draft required. Join millions of users and sign up for America's number one sports pick app. Download the prize picks app today and use code TESD to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code TESD to get $5 in lineups after you play your FIRST $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've used them and I use that code.

[Walt Flanagan]

Have you?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, they're great.

[Walt Flanagan]

All right. You use factor.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

All right.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I like factor.

[Walt Flanagan]

You want to eat better, but you have zero time and zero energy and make it happen Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. Two minutes. Real food Done. You're not failing at healthy eating. You're failing at having three extra hours every night. Factory is already made by chefs, designed by dietitians and delivered to your door. You heat it for two minutes and eat what's inside. Lean proteins, colorful vegetables, whole food ingredients, healthy fats. The stuff you'd make if you had the time. There's no refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, and no refined seed oils. 100 rotating meals every week. New muscle pro collection for strength and recovery. You pick what fits your goals. Healthier eating, healthier eating, calorie management, more protein. Whatever you're actually trying to do, it's always fresh, never frozen. Ready in two weeks. Two weeks. Ready in two minutes. No prep, no cleanup, no mental load.

[Brian Quinn]

Take those marbles out.

[Walt Flanagan]

Not motivation to eat, but I put them in for a reason. I like the way balls feel in my mouth. I am a marbly motherfucker. You're right. I think I read too fast. I try to eat too fast.

[Brian Quinn]

Hey, you're fucking blowing through. You're not enjoying it?

[Walt Flanagan]

No, I'm not. I gotta slow down. I have to read what Marybeth wrote me. She made the brown butter grilled chicken and Yukon mash for herself with roasted green beans and mushrooms and marinara meatballs and mash with garlicky green beans and the juices on smoothies she loves. That is what she wrote to me today. So she's lying to me.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

Just a warning. When you say keto, you're going to bring Tom out of the woodwork work.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, Tom is all about keto, my glory.

[Bryan Johnson]

As much as vasectomy.

[Brian Quinn]

As much as you talk about that new Star Trek show, I doubt it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Or your defective Kane.

[Bryan Johnson]

Counterfeit.

[Brian Quinn]

Kate, have you heard about his ransom?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm in the group. I'm in the group.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, my gosh. I thought he was getting. He'd get it out on you guys, but no. Then he waits for me to come in and he goes into more tirade about it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So the first thing he said to me when I walked in the door.

[Brian Quinn]

That'S why I was looking at him. I was just like. I was like, get him in the eye. Like, come on, bro. Like, not everybody needs to hear your rant about the new Star Trek.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yes, they do.

[Brian Quinn]

Especially when kid keeps going. Yeah, I haven't watched this first episode. Then he reiterates it five seconds later to be like, kid, Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Hit him. I don't. I don't watch it.

[Bryan Johnson]

I'M telling you about what's happening on the show.

[Walt Flanagan]

I'm not interested in watching.

[Brian Quinn]

I'm trying to help you out by going like this.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You really hate watch it though, huh? You can't stop yourself.

[Bryan Johnson]

I'm trying to give it a chance.

[Brian Quinn]

All you're doing is trashing it.

[Bryan Johnson]

Well, it's because I'm watching it and I'm seeing what they're putting on tv.

[Brian Quinn]

You're hate watching it.

[Bryan Johnson]

No, I'm trying to. I'm trying to give it a chance.

[Brian Quinn]

When I told Mozak, I think you're being too serious about it. He fucking literally almost jumped across the table. He can't jump. Thank God. He could have jumped. He would have jumped. It's a science fiction show. Fucking stop taking so seriously. He got so upset me look at him.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He can't hold it in now.

[Brian Quinn]

His nose is getting redder.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It really is.

[Brian Quinn]

Look at this guy.

[Walt Flanagan]

He's feeling froggy. He just can't jump.

[Bryan Johnson]

I mean, they took on. They took on Deep Space Nine last night.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah, I was hoping.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, here he goes.

[Bryan Johnson]

What were you hoping that they. I'm surprised they even tried to take on Deep Space Nine.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What do you mean take on?

[Bryan Johnson]

I'm not sure if you're familiar with Deep Space.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, watch some of it.

[Bryan Johnson]

They. They addressed what happened to Captain Cisco at the end of Deep Space Nine.

[Walt Flanagan]

Died.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Didn't he become like a space God or something like that?

[Bryan Johnson]

Yes. And specifically Avery Brooks made it so that he didn't wasn't abandoning his family because he felt it was a bad betrayal to have a black character abandon his family.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Okay.

[Bryan Johnson]

So he had left it open is he's probably going to come back and be with his family after he does what he has to do with the space aliens because they're not corporeal like we are.

[Walt Flanagan]

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[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I love Star Trek.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Walt's eyes are rolling to the back of his head during that.

[Brian Quinn]

Wow.

[Walt Flanagan]

I got one more for Raycon. Should we wait or just knock it out?

[Brian Quinn]

All right.

[Walt Flanagan]

I love Raycon. Cold.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Why stop now?

[Bryan Johnson]

I've been thinking about getting some Raycons.

[Walt Flanagan]

Have you?

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah. I lost my. I lost my buffet headphones.

[Walt Flanagan]

Okay.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Did you eat them No, I fell into some.

[Bryan Johnson]

They disappeared somewhere.

[Brian Quinn]

How do you lose them?

[Bryan Johnson]

They disappeared somewhere.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Dim. Somebody.

[Brian Quinn]

What is that you're alluding to? That someone took them.

[Bryan Johnson]

I. I'm just saying they disappeared somewhere.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't know where at at.

[Bryan Johnson]

It was either here or the buffet, so.

[Brian Quinn]

So you left them at the buffet?

[Bryan Johnson]

I either left them at the buffet.

[Brian Quinn]

Or someone took them here. Yeah. You think it's me?

[Bryan Johnson]

No.

[Walt Flanagan]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Walt Flanagan]

All right.

[Brian Quinn]

I just want to get like. Don't make these.

[Bryan Johnson]

No. Because I know you have ride. No, I know you have Raycons, so you would not already have a pair of Raycons, so you would not.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

That's the only reason you wouldn't steal his Raycons, because you already have a.

[Walt Flanagan]

Pair with his missing spoon, the titanium.

[Bryan Johnson]

Spoon and SD card.

[Walt Flanagan]

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[Bryan Johnson]

Wow.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, that's pretty sweet. You're going to want to jump. Get them. Regular earbuds block out everything. If you only could. You can't hear anybody. You can't hear someone calling your name, a car honking, anything. These Raycon ones sit up just outside your ear canal so you get a really clear sound, but you can actually hear what's happening around you, too. That awareness is perfect for tackling your fitness resolution safely. They're really light and the ear hook part rotates so they actually stay in. You can wear them at the gym, on walks, doing stuff around the house. They don't fall out and they don't get uncomfortable. They have an open ear design, which means you can hear your music and the world around you. Multiangular hook Switch between your phone and laptop without repairing them. Without repairing them. Lightweight, ultra light with a flexible ear hook that adapts multipoint connection, connect to multiple devices and switch seamlessly without hassle. I swear to God, they're trying to give me, like, tongue twisters and shit. Yeah, 36 hours of battery life, 8 hours of playtime, and 36 hours of battery with a charging case. And you can charge them maybe once a week.

[Brian Quinn]

That's just going to power through it. You're going to stop and re record it and then edit it. You're not just going to like leave.

[Walt Flanagan]

Leave all that shit in there.

[Brian Quinn]

If they still stuttering after this long.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, it's on them. Yeah, I agree with you, Q. The essential open earbud is here and thank you. Go for the gold. Go to buyraycon.comtesd open to get 50% off.

[Brian Quinn]

Thanks, Raycon, for sponsoring Go for the Gold.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, I may have to go back and touch that up a little bit. That was sloppy. I don't know what's wrong with me today, man. I can't read. Oh, wait, I can't put this away yet. So get them pulled up. If you're not satisfied with the mail talk that we've had so far, I.

[Brian Quinn]

Have some questions if you don't want to get into mail Talk. I have 45 questions every man should ask themselves before getting married. We know Jimmy's getting married.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, all right.

[Bryan Johnson]

How many people at this table are attending the wedding?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Mr. Zip.

[Brian Quinn]

Shut the fuck up.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Why? You guys aren't going to Jimmy's?

[Walt Flanagan]

I'm going. Oh, of course I'm going. Yeah, you're going to go, right?

[Bryan Johnson]

Keep forgetting. RSVP.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I haven't RSVP'd yet. I don't think.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, my fiance would like it very much if you would.

[Walt Flanagan]

I understand.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It's just I gotta. Yeah, yeah, it's. I don't know what the schedule looks like that far in advance is a problem. That's why I understand. But I want to come. I want to come.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I appreciate that.

[Bryan Johnson]

Sounds exciting.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

The wedding.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Why?

[Bryan Johnson]

It's like at a Ren Fair rent fair around. Yeah, yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

July. July.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, May.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

May.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Everybody's gonna be in costume.

[Walt Flanagan]

Are they?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

My best man is gonna be Swearengine.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Nice.

[Brian Quinn]

Who's the best man?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

My oldest friend. Big, big fan of this fucking Juggalo.

[Brian Quinn]

No, Ant.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

He was an aunt.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

He became friends.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No. No. I went my whole life. He. He didn't even listen until I got on and now he's obsessed with this shit. He listens to fucking. Reviewing history. Listens to fun. Bearable. He. He loves you guys.

[Bryan Johnson]

Raise your father.

[Walt Flanagan]

Sounds all right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, he's not on Reddit.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What constitutes a costume?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I'm gonna be the joker, so.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I could wear Anything I want.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You're encouraged, Joker.

[Brian Quinn]

Not impractical, Joker.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, no, I think I'll just. Maybe I'll be like, come as Ghostbuster.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, that's fine. What do you think, Richard? Chrissy's going to wear? Like, he's not going to fucking.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Well, he's. He's doing the ceremony, right?

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah. How many people of note are going to be there?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, Shaggy declined, unfortunately from insane.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Yep.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They rsvp. They have their kids soccer tournament that weekend or some which. I. I went and watched their kids play a game which was interesting.

[Brian Quinn]

So I sucked. They shouldn't be. They shouldn't be skipping the wedding because there's no future in soccer.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think they won.

[Walt Flanagan]

Those kids are going to play soccer game after soccer game. How many times are you going to get married?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Brian Quinn]

So how many quasi celebrities are going to be there?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I'm hoping Fred Schneider comes.

[Brian Quinn]

Who's that?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

B52s?

[Brian Quinn]

How would I know that?

[Bryan Johnson]

You don't know. You don't know the B52s?

[Walt Flanagan]

I'm just as ignorant as you. I would have never known Fred Schneider.

[Brian Quinn]

Are they gonna perform Love Shack?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think so. He's the Love Shack baby. That guy.

[Walt Flanagan]

Exactly.

[Brian Quinn]

So which is he? Is he the younger guy or the older guy? Older. He's old.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Seventies probably.

[Brian Quinn]

He's older than that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

How do you know him?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

One of my buddies. I have a life alert is standby.

[Brian Quinn]

He shows up.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He's. He's my. One of my buddies.

[Walt Flanagan]

Plus one got me a. Oh, no.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm having a heart attack. Jimmy.

[Brian Quinn]

Why do you say, like. Why do you give me that eye? Like I'm out of like out of line by saying, who's Fred Schneider?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I didn't give you an eye.

[Brian Quinn]

I Did somebody you gave me, I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Think, get him dead. I didn't.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you think most people. I think you got 99 out of 100 people don't know Fred Schneider. I really thought he was the guy from One Day at a Time. The.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Dad. My dad house. My dad stayed at his house. My dad stayed at his house.

[Bryan Johnson]

We've seen B52 videos on Vivo 7.

[Brian Quinn]

I like that song. I like Rock Lobster. Yeah, I like Rock Lobster. I was like, I'm not dissing the guy. I just didn't. He's one of those guys you like.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I understand.

[Brian Quinn]

Nobody knows their real name.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think I gave you an eye. I don't think I gave you.

[Brian Quinn]

Did I like. Holy. I. I didn't mean to Fred Schneider.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I didn't mean who else?

[Brian Quinn]

How do you know him?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Him. So my buddy House sits for him in the Hamptons.

[Brian Quinn]

So you don't know him?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, in fact. In fact. In fact, I told my buddy. I was like, I don't want you bringing a plus one, some floozy that you're banging that week. Your plus one is Fred Schneider or bust. Either you bring Fred Schneider, you come alone.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Fred Schneider's not coming to this thing.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Probably not, but he. But his response when asked about it was if we're not on tour, maybe.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. All right. He's not coming.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He's not. He's not. But I did get an autograph from.

[Brian Quinn]

Them, which is cool.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Well, that's great.

[Brian Quinn]

What other quasi celebrities are going to be there? I don't. Quasi is a. Is a. Not a dis. Just say, like, not a listers, not a list. It's like, I assume these are like cult. How about Cult personality?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, I invited almost everybody from tsd. Does that count for anything?

[Brian Quinn]

I don't even think they're cult.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I would say they are. I'd say you guys have a giant fan base.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't know. I think. I think Q, I think is the only.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think both of you guys.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't think so. And certainly not the fucking. The Z list of TESD town is not going.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You mean everybody doesn't know Frank five.

[Walt Flanagan]

Like, later on, if he tells. Oh, Brian Johnson's coming. If he tells somebody I'm coming to the wedding, they'll look at him like they said Fred schneider.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, no, D.C. and 52s are performing at your wedding.

[Bryan Johnson]

The age defying billionaire.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, the billionaire sperm drinker.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Truth be told, I have told people, you guys, well, that you're coming. They do know who you are and they do get excited. Oh, yeah, People get excited when they hear I work with you guys. So you're pretty well known.

[Walt Flanagan]

I think we're going to. I talked to Frank about a thing. Me, Frank and Troy are gonna get an Airbnb nearby. Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Cool, isn't it?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Where is it?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Sparta. Yeah, spot in New Jersey.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Is that far from here?

[Walt Flanagan]

Like maybe 90 minutes from here?

[Brian Quinn]

Would you say something like that?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's like. It's like two hours from me.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

90 minutes south.

[Walt Flanagan]

South. 90 minutes north.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So 90 minutes from here. So it's probably about an hour away from me.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, it's probably not that far from here.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

All right.

[Brian Quinn]

Who's Fred Christie?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Richard Christie.

[Walt Flanagan]

Richard Christie.

[Brian Quinn]

Christie.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Is that the former Mayor of New Jersey.

[Walt Flanagan]

If Q doesn't show, he's the biggest celebrity there for sure.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He's probably bigger.

[Brian Quinn]

Is that the guy that used to be the governor in New Jersey?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Ron Christie? No, he's from the Howard Stern show, but he's also in some metal.

[Brian Quinn]

Who am I thinking of?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Chris Christie.

[Walt Flanagan]

Chris Christie or the fat bastard on the beach.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Shut down the bridge. Right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's Chris Christie. Brian actually got me a touch with. With Richard, made that happen.

[Brian Quinn]

You don't know him either?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I. I've. I've met him a bunch of times, actually, and he claims to remember me, but, you know, I don't know.

[Brian Quinn]

Would you call him a friend or an acquaintance?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, acquaintance. I wish he was.

[Brian Quinn]

Why'd you pick him to officiate, then?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I got my. My, my stories wrong. I. I thought I heard him say at some point that he was a Dudas priest. Like, he was ordained as the dude from the Big Lebowski. And so I was like, oh, that'd be fucking dope to. To, you know, book him for that. Turns out he was married by a Dudas priest. He isn't ordained at all, but I already had the wheels in motion at that point, and he said yes, so.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Walt Flanagan]

It's pretty easy to get ordained.

[Brian Quinn]

And is he definitely coming?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think so, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

I mean, you think so? You should. They should nail that down.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

If he's officiated, I'm. I'm. He has to get.

[Brian Quinn]

I think that's number one question.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He has to get the time off from questions. He told me he has to get the time off from work, but it's a Saturday, and do you have a back backup? Yeah, I have a few backups.

[Brian Quinn]

Mike Zapsick is ordained.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He can so is get him.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I thought about Father Lance.

[Bryan Johnson]

No, I don't.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, everybody got divorced.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah. But I have, like, five kids out of my weddings, so.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, they're all out of wedlock. Not one of them with the marriage.

[Walt Flanagan]

Nobody was a dad.

[Bryan Johnson]

No, they were. They were married when they had the children.

[Brian Quinn]

All right, who else?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, God, I don't know. You know, at one point, I was hoping to get Windorf, but, you know, I don't think that's happening, considering the only time I met him was at Tim's funeral. I don't think.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, my God.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think I'm locking him down.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Dear God, why are we looking at this?

[Walt Flanagan]

Who's this lady? Who's that lady with you in the picture?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's in the wedding potty.

[Walt Flanagan]

That's.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's our friend that introduced us.

[Walt Flanagan]

Let me guess. She's a juggler.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

Okay.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you want to go through some of these questions?

[Walt Flanagan]

Sure.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Sure.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you want to have children?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No. God, no. Jesus, no.

[Brian Quinn]

And the Mrs. The soon to be Mrs. Hare, she's on board.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She does not want him. We have to stop doing all the stuff we do now.

[Brian Quinn]

Why don't you go the Tom route then and get those tubes tied out to Betty's?

[Walt Flanagan]

Right.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, Tom got his tubes tied.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's the first I'm hearing about this.

[Walt Flanagan]

That was good. Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

What a great delivery. Yeah. How come you to ensure that this doesn't pop up ever?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's on the pill, you know.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. That's not all.

[Walt Flanagan]

Hormones.

[Brian Quinn]

And. And like you, I've never had a problem. Yeah, I know. Because she's the one taking the pill, though. Well, I used to.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

My pull out game used to be really strong. Now I'm just, you know.

[Walt Flanagan]

What did he say his pull out game?

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, this is my pillow game. I can't get pregnant, so. Yeah. Why don't you just go do what Tom did, though?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know, man. I'm kind of nervous about having, you know, that down there. You know what I mean?

[Brian Quinn]

What if Tom agreed to go with you, hold your hand?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't need Tom talk you through it. That would probably make it worse. Honestly, I'd hear all the same stories 50 times. You know, I hear them enough. I don't need to hear them during that procedure.

[Brian Quinn]

You know, you guys could be vasectomy buddies.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think I need a vasectomy buddy, let alone Tom. Can I start telling the same stories about vasectomies?

[Brian Quinn]

Would your bride to be want you to get a vasectomy?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's never mentioned it. I don't think she's that worried about it.

[Brian Quinn]

I never spoke about this. Well, this is.

[Bryan Johnson]

I don't think so.

[Brian Quinn]

You should go home and talk about this. You should be like, honey, for.

[Bryan Johnson]

For.

[Brian Quinn]

As a gift to you, I'm gonna get sn.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm probably gonna forget, but she's definitely gonna hear this and she'll have thoughts.

[Brian Quinn]

You don't worry that it's going to, like, impact your performance, do you? Because Tom says he's still. He still rips it up the meds.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm on impact.

[Walt Flanagan]

My performance.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I know. Tom's a playboy man.

[Brian Quinn]

Who's doing the finances. Like, who's gonna Be handling.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Take a wild guess.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, I was gonna say definitely not Jim.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Not the guy that invests 2,000 DOL.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Finances right now.

[Bryan Johnson]

Multiple LeBron Barbies.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Who's telling me what I can spend my money on right now?

[Brian Quinn]

Are you on an allowance?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, the allowance of not spending anything. Like, I, I, I'm not allowed to spend shit.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you give her your check when it comes in?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, I have my own bank account.

[Brian Quinn]

Then she is not handling the finances then, the way that I would assume.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, she just makes sure that packages don't show up at the door, and then we're good.

[Bryan Johnson]

And you hide them?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, I don't hide them. I'm asleep when they come. I can't hide them. Something came last week. A jersey I bought. I pre ordered came last week. Master P jersey and. Yeah, I know.

[Brian Quinn]

And she, she read the riot act.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She wasn't happy. It was a thing.

[Brian Quinn]

Did you return it?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Walt Flanagan]

So what are you thinking when you're like, I'm gonna get this Master P jersey, I know she's gonna get pissy about it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I didn't expect it to come until, like, we were married. And it came immediately.

[Walt Flanagan]

And then by then it would be too late. She's locked in.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

Where's she gonna go?

[Brian Quinn]

Q, do you agree when he's like, oh, she's handling all the finances. She's not really handling all.

[Walt Flanagan]

Are you saying once you get married, she's going to.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Or she's handling the bills and whatnot. Like, she makes sure everything gets paid. Everything. Is there a savings, like a future savings?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, she has that. I don't have that.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So she never touches your money?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, we split the rent. We split few things. She pays some things, I pay some things, but.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So she doesn't have control over the finances?

[Walt Flanagan]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

You don't understand what having control over the finances means.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She tells me not to spend money, and I.

[Brian Quinn]

And you spend it anyway?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I try to listen.

[Walt Flanagan]

When I get, like, today, Walt gave me the check for the month. When I get home, I hand it to Mary Beth. She takes care of everything. That's handling the finances?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, she handles the finances.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Fuck yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

I couldn't do that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Wow.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, she handles it all.

[Brian Quinn]

That blows my mind.

[Walt Flanagan]

Really? You thought I would?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, I really felt a heavy hand.

[Walt Flanagan]

No, no, not at all. I mean, I got a heavy hand in other arenas, you know, like.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. Name one.

[Walt Flanagan]

Smarts off, you know, Sometimes she gets disciplined. Oh, this is the masterpiece.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, that's not it.

[Brian Quinn]

But I have that so when I was engaged, a year before I got engaged or before I got married, I was engaged for a year year. My check went right to my wife and she gave me a lot of amount of money I could spend during the week. I couldn't go over that. If I did, she said, sol. You know what that means?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's out of luck.

[Walt Flanagan]

No.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Master P. Jersey's for you, Walt.

[Brian Quinn]

Right. And that's what. Handling the finances. I got my car paid off. I got my JCPenney bill. That was absolutely four digits. You know, I spent like almost, almost three grand in JCPenney goods. And we got that card paid off. And I was debt free then going into my marriage. And she is the one that had to take control of the finances or else it was never going to work. I wonder if you need to do that, too.

[Walt Flanagan]

That's probably the biggest mistake of your life.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you think that's the biggest mistake? If he gives the check to her?

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, no, no. If he doesn't give the check to her, yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's probably the direction we're heading, most likely.

[Brian Quinn]

You only got a couple months.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't know.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm not that worried about it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Does the idea of handing over your check to her to manage bother you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

At all or you're like, whatever, I don't think so.

[Brian Quinn]

Does it demasculate you, you think?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, how much more demasculated can I guess?

[Brian Quinn]

Well, what makes you say that?

[Bryan Johnson]

I don't get it as a. I.

[Brian Quinn]

Don'T see you as having. Well, I mean.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, you guys have a pussycard or some shit. The idea that I'm telling people they can't make fun of me. No, I. No one gets made fun of more than me.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

No, no.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And I'm telling.

[Brian Quinn]

People get yelled at by your. Your superiors at work. Oh, yeah, that's what he said.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I get yelled at by everybody who doesn't yell at me.

[Brian Quinn]

I. I don't know. I think, though, that you're misunderstanding. What? I thought I misunderstood you when you said you had this car that allowed you to just leave work whenever you want, show up, leave work, and then come back hours later and then have no explanation where you were. And then you. Because I show them my card, my cod, I was like, okay, you have a card that literally allows no one to even ever take you up or take you to task for anything.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, that's just for calling out. That just means they can't, like, you know, give me a red mark for.

[Brian Quinn]

Calling out or leaving during the middle of a workday and then showing up hours later.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That card doesn't help with that. I just. I just do that and. And nobody notices.

[Walt Flanagan]

But why do you have this card and other people don't?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know. Anybody can get it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's just a doctor thing. It's like getting a weed card back in the day. You go to your doctor and say, any FMLA card, and it protects you. You can have a thousand absences as long as you have that fucking FMLA number.

[Walt Flanagan]

Nothing they can do.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Nothing they can do.

[Brian Quinn]

Question three is a little personal. You can skip it if you'd like to.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm good for anything. What do you got?

[Brian Quinn]

Sex. Okay, what is your preferred frequency during the month?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like, how much.

[Brian Quinn]

How many times a month would you be? Like, if it's less than that, you know, you can bet I'm gonna be fucking ordering more Master P jerseys as a revenge.

[Walt Flanagan]

There's no payoff for it if I'm not.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know, I think we covered this on All About Jimmy, but I don't think so. Oh, we did. The truth is she wants it more than I do. And I, I. I think my meds have me all up. Like, I can't go as much as she wants me to.

[Bryan Johnson]

Do you show her the card?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

She pulls the card out, shuts her right down.

[Bryan Johnson]

It's a card night. I got a migrate.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, she literally, like, throws herself at me round the clock, and I just.

[Brian Quinn]

Like, you're giving out weights. Much more information than I. I'm asking. What's your number? Like, what's your number?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

My number?

[Brian Quinn]

You're like. You're like Jim.

[Walt Flanagan]

And he's like, I'm so irresistible.

[Brian Quinn]

Happy, Jimmy, happy life. What? What's the number that makes you happy, like, per month? I don't know.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Fifteen. I don't know.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay. Every other night?

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Are you doing every other night right now?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

But you've done Q and A's before, right? Because I didn't ask this.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They wanted to know what I thought of Mike and. Like that. Yeah, of course. I went on for five minutes about it.

[Brian Quinn]

15. That's what would any. So 14. You're a miserable SOB.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm happy getting it as much as I am now. I'm the one turning it down. Oh, not her.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay. All right, let's skip it, I think. Right? I don't think.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. We've learned everything we need to learn on that one.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Too much.

[Brian Quinn]

Your family and her family. Yeah. Will you put your Family over her or will she put her family over you? Do you think at any instance I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Know for a fact that that's it's.

[Brian Quinn]

Not going to happen.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

Don't have to worry about it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Nope.

[Brian Quinn]

It's good. That's a good thing to have. Career. You're saying you're set at the post office?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Work ethic.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He's got a card that.

[Walt Flanagan]

Well, he did say he was trying to make Mr. Zim proud.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I do.

[Walt Flanagan]

I work hard.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Hard to believe, but I do tidiness.

[Brian Quinn]

Who is the one in charge of keeping the place clean and doing all the housework? Is it shared or is there one person have most of that responsibility?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I would love to say it's shared.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, you can easily rectify that by sharing it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I, you know, I really try. I'm sleeping during the day now and.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You know, you take the garbage out, though.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I have taken the garbage out.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You have taken the garbage out in the past. So when it's like 20 degrees out, you're still like, I'm sleeping over here. Take the garbage out.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't tell her or ask her to do anything. She just doesn't want to wait for me to do it. So she does it herself.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, man.

[Brian Quinn]

Is it being honest, though? And she's okay with this though? She. That you've come to this agreement. You've had this conversation.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, she doesn't love it and I, she's definitely spoken to me about it, even as recent as a few days ago.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But what did she say a few days ago? What was the point of contention that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't do anything around the house?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Well, you got to start doing stuff around the house.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I know, I know. Believe me. I, I, I, I do make an.

[Walt Flanagan]

What's she asking of you?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, what's the list?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know, cleaning.

[Walt Flanagan]

Just in general. Cleaning?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Like, you know, it's just Princess, you, you're chaining into a life of cleaning up your.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

How's that, Right?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Is it horrible? I know. I, I have no idea. I, it's horrible. I don't know.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You could just stop.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm trying. No, no, no.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You could just stop saying trying. Cuz trying is failing. Like, just do it. Just fucking do it. It just be like, all right, I guess I won't leave all over the house.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I don't really show the house.

[Brian Quinn]

Who'S more messy, you or her.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'd say that's equal.

[Walt Flanagan]

Equal.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Because I'm not that messy. It's just. I don't, like, I don't see filth the way she does. You know what I mean?

[Walt Flanagan]

Like, I wallow in it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't. I don't. To me, I would never vacuum because I just don't think of it. You know what I mean? But she's doing it every other day, you know?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

You got to get that dust up, though.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't even think about it. I don't know. It never even crosses my mind for some reason.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you need maybe like a chart?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, that would help you get, like.

[Walt Flanagan]

A gold star every time you do a chore.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That would definitely help.

[Walt Flanagan]

That would motivate you.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He would love to make a chart for you.

[Bryan Johnson]

Get him 10 gold stars, you get a jersey.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That would definitely work.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

In what ways have you changed since you've been with him?

[Brian Quinn]

Her?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Good Lord, I don't know.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's a loaded question.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It didn't seem so when I asked, but I'm learning that it is like you, You.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I'm afraid for her to hear this now.

[Brian Quinn]

Jesus. Why? You know, she doesn't know that. She doesn't know cleaning up most. Most of the time.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I think she.

[Brian Quinn]

I think she.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think she appreciates the.

[Walt Flanagan]

That.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm not really putting it out there for the world, but, you know.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, she's looking like a champ so far.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah. You're the one.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

You.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You look bad. She look bad.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's fine.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, yeah. No, no, we would never make that. Are you kidding me?

[Walt Flanagan]

No.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

No way.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I don't have a problem with that.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you like when you make food?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Who.

[Brian Quinn]

Who does the dishes?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I do the dishes.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She does. She does. She does most of the cooking, though. But I will do the dishes.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

But I had to be told, who.

[Brian Quinn]

Maintains the garden.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

If you won't even call it a garden? That's all her.

[Brian Quinn]

You have a backyard. What do you guys plant?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

We got a patio, and she puts some plants on it, and they fucking.

[Bryan Johnson]

Smell like man shaping or manscaping.

[Brian Quinn]

No, that's part of. Part of the. One of the questions, like garden. I thought for sure that would be like. Most people don't want to think even garden anymore, do they?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Walt Flanagan]

Really?

[Brian Quinn]

All right. Spiritual practice. Religious beliefs are highly personal. Do either one of you have a strong spiritual or religious stance that could be a problem later on? No.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

What if she atheist develops? You know, I mean, she's into, like, that Wiccan shit, and I'm like, whatever.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, that's what Pam got into Whoa. Yeah, witch.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Let's put a bubble around you to clean.

[Brian Quinn]

So you don't think you'll ever.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, that don't bother me.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Jimmy, listen to what you're saying. You're saying you're not delivering the goods that you want sexually, and you're also not giving what she wants when it comes to cleaning the house.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm the whole package. Yeah, I know.

[Walt Flanagan]

It's.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But I want to see you succeed.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Walt Flanagan]

He seems to be succeeding. He's got himself a hot lady. He's getting married. He hasn't changed a wit.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But getting and keeping are two things, two different truths.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes, this is true. I'm definitely worried about keeping.

[Brian Quinn]

Keeping pets.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, we got those.

[Brian Quinn]

What do you got?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

We got three cats.

[Brian Quinn]

So you guys are good with. With pets and probably get more.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, you get that litter box every day. Like, you get it for her. You let her do it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

We both do, but. Okay, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, yeah, Jimmy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I do.

[Walt Flanagan]

I do.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've been doing that. I've been doing that since before we lived together. When she lived by herself and she had the cats and I would go up there to visit her, I would do it for her. Yeah, I had no problem with that.

[Brian Quinn]

Sports. This could be something that people overlook. If she's a fan of a different team and they play your team. Right. She doesn't. You handle it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She doesn't give a fuck about sports.

[Bryan Johnson]

Jimmy changes teams at the drop of a hat.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, it took me a long time to do that, but she doesn't give a fuck.

[Brian Quinn]

She doesn't care.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, she'll watch. If I want to watch a game, she'll watch it with me. But she doesn't.

[Brian Quinn]

She has no right. That's also about sports. Let's say you want to watch a game and she wants to go watch.

[Walt Flanagan]

Something on the Hallmark Channel.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, she wants.

[Bryan Johnson]

She wants to watch. Heated rivalry.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She hasn't seen that, shockingly.

[Brian Quinn]

Will she give you time for Jimmy. Time to, like, go see a ball game with your friends?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Dude, she gives me time to do whatever the fuck I want. I feel bad, like. Like, I never have to play video games, you know, like, because I don't have time. And I got her a game for Christmas, and she's always saying, like, oh, you should play video games. She play video games. I'm like, well, I don't have time. So we made time during that snowstorm we had recently, and I felt horrible because I'm sitting there gaming and she's just fucking Sitting there doing. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't do this. Like, this is fucking.

[Walt Flanagan]

A lot of people like that, though. Like, my niece and nephew used to love watching other people play video games.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. Almost every girl I've dated is like, I don't mind playing. Yeah. What game are you playing?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Not the last south park game. The one before it. Yeah, it's fucking amazing.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. Well, that's like watching a television show.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I know.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Like, that is specifically like watching a South Park.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I know. It's awesome.

[Bryan Johnson]

Them.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's great.

[Brian Quinn]

Firearms. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She doesn't like them. I. I've been paying a gun off, two guns off, for, like, six years.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

She doesn't want your guns.

[Bryan Johnson]

I got the bullets on layaway.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's kind of a.

[Brian Quinn]

Six years.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

How much is a gun?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No pun intended. It's kind of a loaded story.

[Walt Flanagan]

It's like a musket from the civil revolution.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I worked with a guy who was selling me two guns. One was the Hunter S. Oh, the nickel plated. Yeah. And the other one was. I forget. Something he told me I had to have, and I was paying him monthly for it. And then he retired and I haven't heard from him since. So he's got my money, he's got the guns, and I haven't given him money.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You never got the guns?

[Brian Quinn]

No.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, yeah. You should put her in charge of the finances. You should do that immediately.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

There's no doubt about it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Does she know the story?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think so. And she doesn't. She doesn't like guns, so I think she's probably happy I never got them, but.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay. All right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

But I like guns.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you share the same music tastes?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know that. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

I didn't know that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Sure you do. We've met at the gathering.

[Brian Quinn]

Right. But that doesn't mean that's the only type of music.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, okay. She likes some emo bullshit I can't stand, but for the most part.

[Brian Quinn]

Name names. What bands we talk about.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Blue October over.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, like, take it back Sunday, Three Days Grace. And.

[Brian Quinn]

And you can't stand.

[Walt Flanagan]

Who? The.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

The other one. No, I can't. Breaking Benjamin, like.

[Brian Quinn]

Will you turn the radio off? Like, in the car?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'll make a face. Yeah, that's great.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Something she enjoys. Make a stinky face. Just buckle down and let her enjoy it.

[Brian Quinn]

Health. Do you believe in taking care of yourself, and do you do it? Do you get regular health maintenance checkups? Well, I don't care if your spouse does.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes, I Do care about that? I. I made her go to fucking. I made her get every kind of doctor imaginable. Like I fucking got her on my health insurance so she could fucking go see doctors and shit. And I do go to the doctor, you know, a couple times a year. Do I take care of myself? Not at all. It's fucking horrible.

[Bryan Johnson]

The only reason he's not drinking a sugared Red Bull right now is because I only gave him sugar. Great.

[Brian Quinn]

You haven't gotten that under control yet because you can get out of the diabetic range.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I know. Well, my Metformin's in my pocket.

[Brian Quinn]

You're what?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

My Metformin.

[Brian Quinn]

What's that?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's the pill they give you and.

[Brian Quinn]

That takes away the diabetes.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Supposed to help.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you take it?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I do.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I do. But I haven't really curbed my Red Bull, you know. She is so worried about my health.

[Brian Quinn]

She is.

[Walt Flanagan]

So, yeah, if you. If you're pre diabetic and. Or do you have diabetes.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think I'm like, right in that middle.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, let's say in 20 years from now, though, let's say you're not in the physical shape you are now, and let's say you put on some pounds. Will you make sure that you keep. Maintain your figure for her?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I would like to think so.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Well, she likes your figure now.

[Brian Quinn]

Right. Everybody changes and you start to get comfortable in that, in the married life, and all of a sudden Jimmy's £300.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

How tall are you?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

The real answer or the fucking. The group chat?

[Walt Flanagan]

Answer.

[Brian Quinn]

Will you make sure that. You mean, you know, you look healthy and your appearance doesn't go to.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I like to think I will.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay. All right.

[Bryan Johnson]

It's important.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Haven't yet, but, you know.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Alcohol. Do either of you drink?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No. We're both stone colds.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

Really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

Straight edge.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, I don't give a fuck if anybody else does it, but I don't. She. She is, you know, and I.

[Brian Quinn]

When's the last time you drank?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, my bachelor party a few weeks ago.

[Brian Quinn]

You just said you don't drink.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, I took a shot, but that.

[Walt Flanagan]

Was just a few weeks.

[Brian Quinn]

I took it. I took a shot. Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know, nothing crazy.

[Walt Flanagan]

Zer. Booze at the wedding.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I think we're bringing. I think it's like. We're supplying like. Like beer and wine or some. And the rest is BYOB or some.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

All right, nice.

[Bryan Johnson]

What kind of beer I got.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Ask Richard Christie what he wants and then I'll Go from there.

[Bryan Johnson]

Should have drew some Natty Daddy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I, I, I can get you some natties for sure.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Richard, Chris's not drinking Natty Daddy. He loves.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I know. Pumpkin beer.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, he's a guy.

[Brian Quinn]

TV habits. I'm surprised this has made the list. In the age of streaming, enticing television is always available and it could become addicting. Will you set limits on how much TV time?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Fuck no. I'm so addicted. I'm so addicted. That's why I'm not fucking cleaning the house more. If I have any time to myself, I'm watching something good.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay, we know she put the hammer down on your tsd. You're, you're viewing or you used to be on the top tier of the tst.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, she had nothing to do with that.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, I thought she said no.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That was me. No, that was me. I made that decision myself because I was getting the merch anyway. I was like, well, I don't need to pay out the ass. But I still wanted the video, so I still.

[Brian Quinn]

Phones, tablets and video games. Are you or your partner in love with your electronic devices?

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Are you comfortable with putting them away, away for days at a time?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I'm not. She is. I'm not.

[Walt Flanagan]

She could put her phone away for days at a time. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah, she, and she's got multiple. Because of the business, she's got a work phone and then she's got her private phone.

[Bryan Johnson]

You like that? Multiple phones.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She has a reason for it.

[Bryan Johnson]

I do too.

[Brian Quinn]

Emotional maturity. This is a big. One of the most common characteristics of emotional immaturity is blaming other people for your unhappiness. Will you take full responsibility for your mental outlook and your, your moods?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I always do.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I always have.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's something I have a grip on.

[Brian Quinn]

You seem like a guy who. I would be shocked to come in and see you and not in a good mood. I've never seen it, you know, I got depression. Do you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm on Zoloft. Yeah. Yeah. Life is tough.

[Brian Quinn]

And what do you, what happens if, when you're not taking your Zoloft, what does depressed Jimmy look like?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know that I look any different. It's, it's all mental, you know, like.

[Brian Quinn]

You'Re not as cheerful about.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I could put on the act, you know, I can, I can put on a good show. But, you know, I, I'll tell you, dude, real, these new hours killing me. Working, working overnight is killing me. You know what I mean? Like, we don't see Each other hardly at all anymore, unless it's the weekend. And I don't know, man, I'm. I'm like you. I'm a late guy. Like I would go to bed crazy late, but having to stay awake till 7 o' clock or 10 o' clock in the morning, I don't know, dude. It's doing something to me. I do not. Like it might be time to up my dosage, you know, It's.

[Brian Quinn]

It's tough.

[Walt Flanagan]

Well, you're existing on something. It's not natural petrol.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. There's nobody to talk to. I'm texting you at six o' clock in the morning. Like it's normal, you know, because that's what I'm watching American Gods at work and I'm like, oh my God. Swearengen and Manson.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Power differentials. Can you allow your partner to wear the pants in the family?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Is it important to you that you have to wear the pants?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, not at all.

[Brian Quinn]

Not at all.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, Jesus, Jimmy.

[Walt Flanagan]

If he was £300. Good God. Who's on the shirt? Divine.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah, no, it's James.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's Divine.

[Bryan Johnson]

Oh, okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That was at camp. John Waters.

[Bryan Johnson]

Yeah, that was John.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's John Waters's arm right there.

[Brian Quinn]

How about social media? I can't tell you how many clients complain about their spouse being addicted to social media. Do you feel there's any issues with social media or could there be at any point in the future?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

There could be. I mean, I'm way more addicted to her than she is, but she. We use it differently, you know what I mean? Like, I use it to like keep up with people and she uses it to watch Those stupid fucking 10 second videos that people love.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Those are killing right now.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, she loves it. She posts a thousand of them and I want to know what people are up to, you know what I mean? That's what I.

[Walt Flanagan]

She makes videos and posts them.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Actually.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She does. For her job. Yeah, she does make those, but she watches like.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, they're called vertical dramas. They're like, like, they're like soap operas over like 15 second clips.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, really?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

And people are just like, they're taking off right now. Like it's like people are addicted to them. They're. They're like. They watch them like crazy. They'll spend hours watching them. Like there's this whole sub society like going on about them.

[Walt Flanagan]

Really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Never heard of it.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, I don't. I mean, I remember Qui. Like back in the day. It's kind of like that. But successful.

[Walt Flanagan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I don't get it myself, but, hey, there's a lot of things I don't get.

[Walt Flanagan]

We're too old to get shit.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I don't get anything. Still on, like fucking comic books. I'm like, this is great.

[Brian Quinn]

What's your fighting style when it comes to settling differences? Do you want to talk it out? Do you yell? Do you pout? Do you give the silent treatment? How do you handle differences? And they're going to come up.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know what they do now I'll tell you how we.

[Brian Quinn]

It's not the honeymoon face, though.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, it is and it isn't. I, I, I, So I'll tell you how I handle it, and I'll tell how she handles it. I do want to talk it out. I'm, I'm good about that. I do pout. I do go silent. She yells.

[Bryan Johnson]

She yells.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And when I get yelled at, I pout. Or I go silent. That's, you know.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Does she hit you? I don't mean that like a funny way. Like, she never, like, just gives you, like, a crack in the arm?

[Brian Quinn]

No.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

People have told her she should.

[Walt Flanagan]

She's strong too, right?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah. She could beat the out of me. I mean, most people could, but she really could.

[Brian Quinn]

How many arguments would you say you have won?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Where I was, like, right at the.

[Brian Quinn]

End, where she came near, like, you know what? I was wrong. You were right, Jimmy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Okay? So, honestly, a lot of the times.

[Brian Quinn]

I haven't gotten one yet. I'm still looking for my first victim.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Really?

[Bryan Johnson]

She still says you're wrong about the.

[Brian Quinn]

I, I, I don't. Yeah, I realize I've come to accept that I'm not going to get that, so I have to, like, let, so.

[Bryan Johnson]

You bring it here?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, you gotta get them. No, no, no.

[Bryan Johnson]

I mean, you ask these guys the question and they agree with you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, our fights always end with both of us apologizing to each other.

[Brian Quinn]

Really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. Okay, sweet.

[Brian Quinn]

But that is a fucking fairy tale.

[Bryan Johnson]

But not makeup.

[Brian Quinn]

That can't be real, though. You can't believe that, that both you guys were wrong or both you guys were right. That's just, that's ridiculous. I, I refuse to believe you believe that in your heart that you, that you've never been.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, I know. Well, she's been wrong, but, I mean, even. It's not like I'm. If we're fighting about something, chances are we're both right about something. We're both wrong about something. I know I'm a up. You know what I mean? So I own that. So if she's pissed at me, it's probably for good reason in. But, you know, she's not without her flaws, you know, so name them.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Don'T do that.

[Walt Flanagan]

Don't do that.

[Brian Quinn]

It says here, never on a podcast. Go on and name your partner. Oh, there you go. So do you think you need to learn a different fighting style than going, I would silent treatment in the past out.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I wish we could talk everything out. And sometimes we do. But she had. She. She gets pretty mad at me. She gets pretty pissed at me, rightfully.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

And then you go silent. You go, like, you just go, pad on.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'll, like, leave the room, you know, and. And that just makes her angrier. And I could hear yelling at me from downstairs. And I'm upstairs, like, turning the TV up, you know.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, really? Like, you're literally like, later for you, I'm going to watch like, I can't.

[Bryan Johnson]

Hear you, Perfect Gods. And tweet Brian about it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What was the last thing you did that really pissed her off?

[Brian Quinn]

Professor P. Jersey.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Master P. Master P. That was the second to last. The last was. Was.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, God.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Okay, so she's gonna love that. I'm telling this. I. She. She asked me to. She asked me to heat her up some food. Like, she came home from work. She, you know, she works in between clients, you know, so like, she comes home if she has time in between. And so she was home for like 20 minutes or something or an hour. And she's like, you mind keeping me up something? And I guess I, like, made a look at her like. Like it was like the most insane.

[Bryan Johnson]

Like, you don't know who John.

[Brian Quinn]

What's his name is the guy from B52's name is Face that you gave me.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I really don't think I. I did that, but I apologize if I did. Yeah. And so I guess I, like, I made a face. I made a face. Like, I guess and then, like, I, like, didn't do it quickly enough. And she was like, it, I'll do it. And then she was like, can you at least do this? And I didn't do that quick enough. And she was like, you know, I fucking do everything and I ask you to do one fucking thing. And yeah, it was. It was bad. It was ugly.

[Brian Quinn]

So how'd you solve that?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I left the room, turned up the tv.

[Brian Quinn]

Well, how did it resolve itself then? Did you guys make up?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

So she did have to leave, you know, to go to a client, and she came up and she was like, she Was like, God forbid something happens between now and when I see you again, so I love you. And she kissed me and she left.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, my God, she's so sweet.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And then I started texting her and then we texted all night. And by, you know, by that night, it was.

[Brian Quinn]

It was all gone by the time. Next time you saw her, it was.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Over when I got home the next morning. Yeah, you know, she was thrilled to see me.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But don't you look at her and. And how. How good looking she is and, like, how hard of work she is. Don't you look at her and be like, man, I really gotta work to keep this one. Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, yeah, 100%.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But you can't heat up a Hot Pocket without, like, fucking in a timely manner for the gal.

[Brian Quinn]

What's a timely manner, though?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I mean, she seems like, I've only met a few times, but she seems like a really nice person to me. I don't think that she would be like, I'm hungry to heat something up and then look at a watch for 10 seconds and be like, come on, asshole. I bet you that fucking second hand went around at least five or six.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's definitely low maintenance.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. And like, I don't know, man. Like, she's just so much better looking than you that I would think. I know you would do anything to lock that down.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I know.

[Brian Quinn]

It's gotta be Jimmy. That's what she fell in love with. That man right there. Not the guy who's like, you know.

[Walt Flanagan]

Running around like the loving guy, running.

[Brian Quinn]

Around like a chicken with his head cut off to heat up a Hot Pocket.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, but his veins are dissolving. His wealth is so bad. Like, she's gonna have guys hitting on her for the next 20 years.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I know.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

And. And he's got to be able to fucking give her a reason not to. Not to jump ship. Not to jump ship.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And she thinks that, like, she's got to worry about me even better. And women, like, coming onto me. Like, she. I'm not gonna say what the picture was. She took a picture of me last night. That was the most unflattering fucking picture of me. I'm like, that's what you're worried? Yeah, I'm like, that's what you're worried about, like, coming like, women coming after. Like, you're out of your fucking mind. But you're right. Like, guys hit on her.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I mean, yeah. Look at her round clock.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Bryan Johnson]

Once the ring goes on, sometimes that increases the attraction.

[Walt Flanagan]

They see it as a challenge. Right?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. That's the engagement ring.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. Okay. And finally, we didn't do all 45. I skipped some that I felt were kind of silly and not worth getting into. But boundaries. Do you set boundaries for yourself and do you respect her boundaries?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I definitely respect hers. I didn't set any for myself. She set boundaries.

[Brian Quinn]

I'm not making Hot Pockets.

[Walt Flanagan]

Deal with it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I deal. I will make her. I will make her any Hot Pocket she wants.

[Brian Quinn]

Wants.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She has definitely set boundaries for me because I'm too dumb to know better.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Like, what's a boundary that you can.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, like, don't, you know, it all comes down to women, you know, like, don't.

[Walt Flanagan]

You can't flirt. You're not allowed to flirt and stuff like that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, God, no. Yeah, but definitely nothing worse than that either, obviously.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, really? Of course.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

That's. Yeah, that's exactly relationship.

[Walt Flanagan]

I'm not allowed to anybody.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I didn't even mean that so much.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Unless she's into it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I didn't even mean that so much as, like, you know, talking to women online and shit.

[Walt Flanagan]

Well, did you do that? You've done that in the past. Oh, you did that in the past and got caught, huh? Oh, Jimmy. Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Oh, no. Then what are you talking about?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Only fan stuff like, oh, yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

That downloaded my Firehouse Guys Only fans.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It almost, it almost down me. Like, it was. That was probably the biggest.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

His, his perspective was like, it's like porn. It doesn't matter.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's kind of how I thought about it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Far more personal than regular porn.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was doing it before we met, so I just never stopped. And this is why.

[Brian Quinn]

Should have never gave any only fans any money and just stayed at that top tier on the tsd.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I agree. I agree with that.

[Brian Quinn]

You know, I agree you would have saved yourself a whole lot of misery.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I agree with that.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. You can still jerk off to us.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah, why not?

[Brian Quinn]

I never stopped playing your mind. You have some imagination.

[Walt Flanagan]

Go back to our Golden Girls episode.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, Jimmy, that's hot stuff.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Man, oh, man.

[Walt Flanagan]

Wow.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So she let you off the hook once, huh?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She's let me off the hook multiple times. Yeah, for different things. I mean, I, I.

[Brian Quinn]

Is there any more hook left, do you think?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't think so.

[Brian Quinn]

So you've got to fuck.

[Walt Flanagan]

I don't think so.

[Brian Quinn]

There's no more reason to to up here.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

You're on a short leash.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

As I should be.

[Brian Quinn]

I accept that, you know, I got a total line.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I need to be told, though, when I up. That's.

[Walt Flanagan]

When's the last time you got caught doing that, though? That seems like that would be a while.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

A couple years now.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

You got to be told when you up. You don't know?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I'm. Dude, I'm not. I'm definitely on the spectrum. I'm definitely.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, man. You hear that? Get him.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, he knows.

[Brian Quinn]

Does that bother you that he's trying to steal your thunder? No, no.

[Bryan Johnson]

He'S coming from.

[Brian Quinn]

Where's my card?

[Bryan Johnson]

I understand he's where he's coming from.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like.

[Bryan Johnson]

Like. Like when people complain, you tell long stories that have un. You know, that include details that shouldn't be included, but they don't tell you what those details are. So you. It's tough.

[Brian Quinn]

Do you think I'm on spectrum?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I think the three of us are.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. In different ways. What's that?

[Brian Quinn]

I never play the card, though.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No. And I. I don't either, but I've. As I've gotten older. Well, I'm telling you, I think I am. I'm not using an excuse.

[Brian Quinn]

Did you use it with. With your girl?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Walt Flanagan]

Ever?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No. I'm retarded. No, but she. But she does want me to get tested. She wants me to get tested, like, to find out for sure.

[Brian Quinn]

And then what if you get the results? Is she going to be like, I'm out of here?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I think it's more like she. Then she'll, like. She wants to learn, like, how to handle that.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Wow, this girl's all in on you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She really is.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

She really is. Why is. I thought those gathering of the Juggalos were, like, basically like. Like just like free mind orgies.

[Walt Flanagan]

Like a hedonistic free for all.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, when I met her, like, I went to that gathering. It was my first single gathering. And I. My goal was to just all kinds of women. When I got there, I met her night one, and I was like, I'm in. I want.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So you never got your orgy that you want?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I was chasing her around the whole gathering.

[Brian Quinn]

Sex table.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I was. I wasn't. The sex table.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I witnessed the sex.

[Brian Quinn]

The sex table.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, I thought he was too. Yeah. Somehow that ended up in my mind.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It'S when two people and somebody access the table. Yeah. On top of a guy. So a guy gets on all fours and then two people on top of them.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Sounds awful.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah. When I was on Stern, I told him about it actually.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Knees hurting, my.

[Walt Flanagan]

Too old to be a sex table.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I witnessed it at a concert.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So I don't even do anything. I just sit there and some dude bangs a broad on my back. Yeah, that sounds God awful.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I'm not into it, but.

[Brian Quinn]

So have you tried to tell. So your girl suspects you're on the spectrum and you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know if she suspects. I suspect.

[Brian Quinn]

Have you ever talked about it, like. Cause you said she wants you to get checked.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

So have you then done something and then kind of was like, well, hon, I could be on the spectrum? No, because I did that with my wife once and she just fucking, like, fucking laughed in my face?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No.

[Brian Quinn]

So Kiddum says I'm autistic and that's why.

[Bryan Johnson]

Well, he is a genius.

[Brian Quinn]

And she was like. She just basically was like, that's pathetic.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, no. I. I think I'm autistic. And.

[Brian Quinn]

And are you really going there? She said no.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She had the opposite reaction.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She was like.

[Brian Quinn]

She's like, I want to learn more about what's wrong.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

She was like, if that's. If that's what you are. Like, I want to find out how I can.

[Brian Quinn]

How I handle. Yeah, like when you start punching yourself in the face.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I almost want to meet. And I know we can't, but I almost want to meet her ex boyfriends to see what sort of pattern.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, they were horrible.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Really?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, they were like, the guy. When I met her, she was with a guy.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Does she want you to tell this? So she won't care.

[Bryan Johnson]

She won't care.

[Brian Quinn]

Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've said way worse in this episode than what I'm about to say.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Okay.

[Brian Quinn]

She.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

The. When I met her, she had a boyfriend. She lived in California, and she was living with this guy. And he was physical. He didn't. He didn't work. And he literally all day long accused her of guys behind his back. And she was.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

She.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, no. In fact, she wasn't allowed to talk to any guy. And so when we started talking, we had to do it over Snapchat so the messages would go away. And that was just simple, like, how you doing? Like, I wasn't like, coming on to her or anything. Like, I respected the fact that she had a boyfriend, even though he's a piece of.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

But like, she's a massage therapist, as you know, and so she'd go to massage a guy and he would, like, be tracking her phone. He would, like, watch to see, like, how long she was in what room. And like, he. This dude was a nightmare.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh. So no Wonder why. She's like, this guy's great with you. She's like, you won't hit up a hot pocket up for me.

[Walt Flanagan]

Heat up.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

But, but, but she'll put the work in on you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Now, you said something. You said. You said way worse things this episode. What is something you said that you think. Is there anything in this that you are going to be like? Man, I wish I didn't say that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm an open book. I mean, I don't know that she's going to be thrilled. I'm talking about what we fight about and shit, but whatever.

[Brian Quinn]

There's no couple on the planet that doesn't fight.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, I agree.

[Brian Quinn]

I mean, that is a Shangri La. Like, sitcom couples are the only couples that never fight.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, no, I know.

[Brian Quinn]

We, we.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

We fight plenty. But I mean, I'm. I'm an open book. I don't give a. You know, I don't know that she's going to love it, but as long as she looks good, I don't care.

[Brian Quinn]

I think she looks like the same.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

You don't have to worry about that, buddy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

All right, good.

[Bryan Johnson]

Should be people praying around her.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

All right, well, I. Hopefully you, You. Maybe some other listeners out there who may be getting married soon can take some tips from the questions that I asked you, and maybe they can ask themselves the same questions and see where they're at.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I hope this is a learning experience for everyone.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Are you bringing her to Key West? Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes, she'll be there.

[Brian Quinn]

What is Jimmy's responsibilities in Key west for you?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He doesn't have any, really. He's just.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, yes, he does.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You can give me whatever you want.

[Brian Quinn]

Sex table. Yeah.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, we. There you go. We announced him official. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Thank you, man.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I, I just kind of want you there, bud.

[Bryan Johnson]

I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You have no idea how much that means to me, dude.

[Brian Quinn]

Like, he's not gonna, you know, you're not gonna send him up there to do like a set, like, like as a stand up.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Ah, man, maybe I'll have him. I maybe have him on a podcast or.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Maybe I'll do whatever you want me to do.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Maybe I'll have you run because we're setting up a. We. We got a Stern pinball. Setting up a pinball arcade down there. Really something to do down there. Yeah, they send it down. Down like seven, seven or eight machines. Some sort of contest. Maybe I'll put you in charge of that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's fine.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

We'll figure something.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Whatever you want, man.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I just wanted you There because I know you wanted to come last year and you couldn't, you couldn't make it.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

So I can't thank you enough, man.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It means I'm excited to have you there, man. And people are genuinely excited that you're coming.

[Walt Flanagan]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Gideon was a little annoyed that Jimmy got top billing.

[Bryan Johnson]

I wasn't.

[Brian Quinn]

Yes, you did. The first thing you said was, Jimmy got top bill.

[Walt Flanagan]

You mentioned it to me too.

[Brian Quinn]

I walked in the door with a. Before I could sit down, Q announced qs, Jimmy got top billing.

[Bryan Johnson]

I said he got top billing over.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Q. Yeah, he sure did, man.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't know why people were excited Jiggy. Even when Jiggy made that post, did he have any idea who the fuck I am?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Really?

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah. You're Jimmy the fucking hair guy. Yeah, that's.

[Bryan Johnson]

He made a post just about you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It is odd. I know. I'm not sure.

[Brian Quinn]

What does her family think of the hair guy moniker?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

They don't understand it. My family don't understand it. I just saw my dad the other the day, and I, I, I'm telling him I'm going to Key West. Like, they're taking me to Key West. Like, this hair guy thing is, like.

[Brian Quinn]

It really works out.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

This is amazing. Like, he has no idea what the I'm talking about. Like, no clue. Like, he just nods and smiles, like, that's good. And then her family, like, I texted her sister and my brother in law, future brother in law. When, when this went up and I'm like, losing my. And they're like, yeah, that's great. That's great. They have no idea what the I'm talking about. They don't know what any of this is.

[Brian Quinn]

Like, all right.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Some heavy hitters. That's.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Doug Benson, dude.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah. Doug's coming down. Excited about that. Tone Bell coming.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I just watched the Tom Dustin documentary.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Dustin's the best.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And so I'm like, I hope we get to see him while he's there. And he's actually gonna perform.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He's performing and we're doing something in his comedy club down there.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Oh, that's great.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He's a great guy, man. Yeah. So it's gonna be cool. It's gonna be great.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I've seen Eleanor open for Dice. Like, I'm.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, dude, man.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, it's gonna be good. So I'm glad you're coming down, Jimmy. I think people are excited to, to see you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's. It's an honor, man. I'm, I'm very.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, yeah, right. On, dude. Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Excited.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

So now if I don't come to the wedding, at least you will always have this.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yes. Yeah, exactly.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Walt Flanagan]

When I don't come to the wedding.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

I said, well, I'm the one to put, like, gave you a lot of pressure. I was like, please let Jimmy go. Right. So if I don't go to the wedding, I'm also getting.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Walt is not coming.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't want to put in a lot of good words right. Q. Walt bug in your ear.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I didn't want him there. You're the one that been talking me.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Into Walt is not coming. You said on the pod that you're coming, which I think, you know, gave some people some hope, but I gave up on Walt a long time ago. I. I know he's not coming.

[Walt Flanagan]

When he said no right away, I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Mean, he has an rsvp, so it holds out that little bit of hope, you know? And, like, I know other things that he doesn't want to go to that he's gone to. And I'm like, like, oh, like. Like when you went to go see Chuck perform. And you're not supposed to say that out loud. I just mean, like, you don't.

[Bryan Johnson]

Like, he's weighing things in his head.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, like, social events.

[Bryan Johnson]

Who am I going to offend more when.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

When. When Teddy won the thing, you know, Like.

[Brian Quinn]

Like, you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You go to. You don't want to all the time, and I'm like, you know, like, he's one of my best friends. Like, I think. I'm hoping maybe he'll come through for me.

[Brian Quinn]

I'm one of your best friends.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Walt's one of your best friends.

[Brian Quinn]

Friends.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Dude, you have done more. I say this all the time, but you have done more for me than most people. Like, I.

[Brian Quinn]

You and I should get the past.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You really. You do it.

[Brian Quinn]

You do.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It's extra meaningful to be there.

[Brian Quinn]

No, it's like, I'm so important that, like, I can even skip your wedding.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And I will love me and I will accept it.

[Walt Flanagan]

Right?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I will accept.

[Brian Quinn]

That's what it should. I will accept that that's the kind of love that you should have.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I do.

[Walt Flanagan]

I do.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

The gift.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, but you are.

[Brian Quinn]

Got your VC box coming.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Thank you so much. I can't wait to. To use it and watch Mary Ty more, man. But you are like. You are like my second dad.

[Brian Quinn]

Like, I. I second dad.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like, I like how old.

[Bryan Johnson]

He's laying it off thick.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, we do the my three sons thing. You know what I mean? But, like, you, you have done.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

His dad's listening to me. Like, what?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

My dad wouldn't know how to find this thing.

[Walt Flanagan]

You say he's like your second dad. What, what does it take for him to move into that first slot?

[Bryan Johnson]

He coming to the wedding?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I, I talk to him more than I talk to my own dad. He almost is number one. But, you know, by biologically he's not.

[Walt Flanagan]

Obviously got so many sons here.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, he does. He. This guy is the greatest. Like, like I, I can't put this guy in a high enough pedestal. The idea that you think we're talking shit in the group chat is so insane. Like just a fucking.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, you mean the Yenticha?

[Walt Flanagan]

Yes.

[Brian Quinn]

I assume the reason that I'm not, I'm not allowed to be in it is because Gideon wants to be able to, to go and blow off steam. Like, you know, these fucking guys said to me tonight. No, he said, wake up when he got so fucking the office.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Walt Flanagan]

It's only three o'clock in the afternoon.

[Brian Quinn]

No, first of all, you're not, first.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Of all, you're not in the group chat because we don't want to bother you. Because as I heard earlier, you fuck. He bothers you with enough group chats. We're not gonna buy you bother you with ours. That goes on all day and night. But secondly, the amount that group chat is just reverence for you guys. There is not a fucking bad word said about any of you. There's bad words said about other people that we won't name now, but not you guys.

[Brian Quinn]

It is absolutely. It touches my heart that you, you think that way. But like this guy, like, you know what, you know what this piece of shit did the other day? I texted him, I texted him about 12 o' clock in the afternoon about something business related and I didn't get a response back. And I'm talking to Rupp about, I don't know, 10 o' clock that night. We're talking about other business stuff. And I said to him offhandedly, I was like, hey, did you talk to get him today? And again the chat, did he show up today? He goes, no, he hasn't shown up. I go, that's really fucking weird. I. I said, because he didn't text me back and that's not like him. So I said, let me call him. He didn't pick up. This is Sunday night, it's 11 o' clock at night, it's cold. And I told, I said to Ruff, I was like, yeah, he didn't pick up. I said, I guess I'm gonna have to get in my car and drive over there and see if he's there.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

I said, imagine doing this for anybody.

[Brian Quinn]

And. And then.

[Walt Flanagan]

Sage could be here.

[Brian Quinn]

Goes, hey, you know what?

[Walt Flanagan]

10 degrees out.

[Brian Quinn]

I said, I'm gonna get in the car and to load the dogs up. I'll go over and see if he's over there because this is not like him. And Rupp goes, you know what? I'm right around the corner. Let me go over.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What the fuck? And then it's a village.

[Brian Quinn]

And then Rupp texts me about 20 minutes later, goes, he's here. He's sleeping. Do you think this guy fucking sent any text like, hey, man, sorry for making you worry? No, what he said to me today was, you were here. He was like, oh, you just fucking wanted to know if, If I had answered it if I sent a text to China, right?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah.

[Brian Quinn]

Totally disregarding my concern for him. This is a piece of dog shit. You're not in that category. No reason. The reason. It's just not my scene. Like, I don't know if there's a sex table gonna pop up at any moment at your.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Oh, no, no. And let me, and let me tell you this.

[Brian Quinn]

I don't really need.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, I understand that.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Wait, there's a what kind of pop up sex table?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, it's not.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Oh, sex table. Okay.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I ever.

[Brian Quinn]

So all of a sudden, you know.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, Walt, for real. I have family that isn't coming because they're afraid of how many jugglers are going to be there. I could tell you right now, not only is that's going to be a behaved affair, minus obviously, drinking, you specifically.

[Brian Quinn]

Is it going to be PG13? Yeah.

[Bryan Johnson]

He even offered to change the menu.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, you specifically. I'm.

[Bryan Johnson]

I was.

[Brian Quinn]

I.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

And I'm still willing. I have. I'm still going to do it regardless. But I want to make sure that there's food for you that you will eat.

[Brian Quinn]

What if I. What if I eat before I come?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You can do that too. But I'm making sure there's.

[Brian Quinn]

If I don't come, then I'm making.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Sure there's chicken fingers. I'm making sure there's fries, mashed potatoes, and plain burgers.

[Brian Quinn]

Don't do any of that.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm just, I'm just saying because I like, I. I made, I made a point to have it in Jersey, you know what I mean? So the drive would be short. The same way that you go above and beyond the same Way you go above and beyond, forget them. That you have for me is what I am trying to do. To coax you into doing something that I know you don't want to do.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

How is he gonna above beyond for you? Give me an example.

[Brian Quinn]

Who, me?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You wouldn't know who the I am. Yeah, I wouldn't be going to Key West.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

What the does that mean none of.

[Brian Quinn]

You guys would have ever called him back, ever. Buying that hair.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

It was.

[Walt Flanagan]

So what?

[Brian Quinn]

So what? I gave him the keys to the entrance to Jimmy the Hair Guy.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

He did?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He did. And I.

[Brian Quinn]

And I kept having him come back.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

He gave me shows on Patreon. Dude, I can't go to the movies without getting recognized. And that sounds crazy, but, like, the movie theater in my house, I have been recognized three times minimum. Once I was seeing the movie Queer.

[Bryan Johnson]

Wait a minute. Aren't you not supposed to be here?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Yeah, right. And a guy. Literally four people in the movie theater, and there's a guy five rows up. Movie ends, credits are rolling. Guy starts walking up the steps. I'm like, what the fuck's this guy doing? Walks up and goes, I never do this. Are you Jimmy the hair guy?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

How is that to expose you to random nut cases in gay movies?

[Brian Quinn]

Always happy.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Well, it was an ad, but he.

[Brian Quinn]

That's a Hallmark greeting card for Father's Day. Thank you for opening the door to gay movie theaters, allowing me to walk through, my head held high, and be recognized by all the other.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

There's two mailmen blowing each other in the front fucking row.

[Brian Quinn]

So what day is it on?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

It's a Saturday.

[Brian Quinn]

It's a Saturday. What time is it at?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like, I think five at night.

[Brian Quinn]

If I were to pop my head in and leave after this, after the kiss, this.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's.

[Brian Quinn]

Would that be enough?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

More than enough. You are. Dude, you are off the hook. I. I literally just want you to.

[Brian Quinn]

Pop my head in.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I just want you to RSVP so I can, like, stop holding on, hope.

[Brian Quinn]

That you're coming RSVP me, then I'll pop my head in.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Okay. That's more than enough.

[Bryan Johnson]

I got the link. It was sent to me to send to you.

[Walt Flanagan]

I just want you to pop your head. Like, midway through the ceremony, everyone's like, is that wall?

[Brian Quinn]

I'm gonna be like, you know, just gonna give you a thumbs up. Up. And then I got a mysterious.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

That's fine.

[Brian Quinn]

I mean, like, disappear.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I'm setting into the woodwork. I'm putting ground rules. I'm telling. I'm telling specific People. I'm telling specific people.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Like some chicken fingers. Smoke clears.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Like, I don't want people bothering you guys. Like, I'm gonna give you gu. I want you guys to be left the alone.

[Bryan Johnson]

You guys gonna give you a card.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

All of you. Like. Like, you know, there's people that they're gonna want to, like, you know, talk to you. And I'm telling people leaving the alone, they're there as my guests. They're not there as. This isn't a meet and greet.

[Bryan Johnson]

Just gawk at them.

[Brian Quinn]

Most of the people there, like, are involved already, so why would they be like, I gotta talk.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

There's ants coming.

[Brian Quinn]

Oh, there's ants.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Couple ants. Yeah. And they've met you. It's like the Wannabes, and. And those guys are.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Right.

[Walt Flanagan]

Yeah.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

Cool. I'm just saying.

[Bryan Johnson]

I don't.

[Brian Quinn]

Yeah, they're not.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

What if there's a Kevin Smith fan there? You know, I mean, like, could be balls. Balls from the Stern show. Balls from the Stern show. Can't wait to meet you.

[Brian Quinn]

Who's Balls?

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You know Balls?

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Yeah, I know Balls, but Walt doesn't.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

No, no. He knows who you are. He knows who you are.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Wow.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You have three roles and Clerks. People know who you are.

[Brian Quinn]

Maybe if we can set up maybe a little personal meet and greet, you know, Balls, I can.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I can definitely make.

[Walt Flanagan]

Excuse me for a minute. I got to meet Balls.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I mean, the wannabes are doing a pop podcast in the back. Like, it's. You know, it's the whole thing. It's gonna be cool.

[Q (Brian Quinn's nickname)]

Sounds fun. Sounds like a fun time.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You can wear whatever you want, Walt. You can hoodie. You can wear a hoodie. You can wear. You're wearing right now. You can wear whatever you want. I. I will do whatever it takes. Tom said today in the. In the yenta chat that he had a game, and it was. What would Jimmy do to get Walt to come to the wedding? I would do a lot.

[Brian Quinn]

All you have to do is guilt me and say all this.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

I don't want to guilt you, though. I don't want to guilt you. I don't want to guilt you.

[Brian Quinn]

No, no, no. I don't want to guilt you.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You see, you make fun, but. But what? You're the best.

[Brian Quinn]

You're the best.

[Jimmy the Hair Guy]

You're the best, dude. Like, you care. Like, you genuinely care about us. Like, I don't want to, you know, pull curtain back too much and let people know that, but you have a giant hot dude. Like, you mean the world to me. So it would tell Steve Dave.

[Brian Quinn]

Tell Steve. Dave. I guess I'm going to a wedding.