#668: Shoez n Tamponz

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #668: Shoez n Tamponz

Release Date: March 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively, uncensored episode, the Tell 'Em Steve-Dave crew reunites to dig into topics ranging from awkward shoe and tampon commercials to the art of roasting, Jersey pride, comic book obsessions, and Q’s secret (and controversial) childhood psychiatric files. The episode is packed with their classic banter, unexpected confessions, debate over what people can or can’t talk about publicly, and ends with an earnest (if comedic) intervention to “shower Gidam with love.”

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Main Discussion Points and Insights

1. Kicking Off: Rodney Dangerfield Impersonator Mishap

• Bry opens with a story about a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator at Rodney’s Comedy Club who not only failed to impersonate Rodney but also dramatically fell down steep stairs and cracked his head.
• “Gravity ain’t giving him no respect, this guy.” — Bry [03:33]

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2. Shoes & Tampon Sizing, and Juvenescent Humor

• Walt observes, prompted by his wife’s stair mishaps, that women “don’t know how to buy shoes” and now face similar sizing dilemmas with tampons. The group riffs on the awkwardness of new tampon sizing ads (notably the Amy Schumer campaign).

• Bry: “Yeah, if you have a heavy flow or a big pussy.” [05:08]

• The team debates whether talking about women’s flows at work could constitute sexual harassment.

• Walt: “A leaking vagina and a runny nose... Neither are sexual though.” [07:38]

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3. The Jersey Roast Saga

• Gidam recounts participating in a New Jersey roast where he played the "heel" (bad-guy) from Staten Island—leading to boos but also some admiration for going all in.

• Gidam: “I was actually impressed… when they were booing… it was like, ‘fuck you, dude’ … the boos are the applause, you know?” [13:13, 18:45]

• The group reflects on the challenge of roasting strangers versus friends. Gidam admits feeling bad after roasting a comic he barely knew: “I just don’t like saying mean things.” [15:48]

• Q: “I’m not a fan of the roast format… I think it’s mean-spirited and even Dean Martin’s can get a little below the belt.” [16:03]

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4. WWE Side Chat: Danhausen & Ming

• Brief wrestling detour: new WWE character Danhausen, and how Ming (TESD regular) has been featured with him at indie shows and on social media. [19:11-19:38]

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5. Should Girl Scouts Sell Cookies Outside Dispensaries?

• Recent NJ controversy: Girl Scouts set up outside a marijuana dispensary, sparking debate in the group.

• Bry: “Is it any different than being outside a liquor store? Should Girl Scouts be outside liquor stores?” [21:08]

• Walt: “I would not think that is something that… kids in that, they should be as far away from that as possible…” [24:14]

• They discuss rules, cultural stigma, and where it's kosher for kids to fundraise.

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6. Pop Culture Catch-Up: Comics, Shows, and Film Nostalgia

• Bry has been binging books & comics (Joe Hill, “Why the Last Man”) and rewatching the original “Planet of the Apes.”
• “Somebody took a gender studies class. Holy shit, that is girl powery.” — Bry on "Y: The Last Man" [28:18]
• TV adaptation of “Y: The Last Man” is criticized for clumsy, over-cautious gender politics [29:16]
• Walt admits finishing "Friends" for the first time, and being surprisingly touched by the finale [30:22-31:10]
• Discussion of hard-to-stick TV series endings: "Sopranos," "Game of Thrones," "Breaking Bad," "Deadwood," "Seinfeld," "The Shield" [32:20–34:02]
• Q recommends the German Netflix series “Dark” for time-travel enthusiasts [31:30].

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7. Ice Skating Fiasco

• Walt describes a cringey ice rink mix-up—mistaking a teenage skater for his daughter and addressing her in an overly familiar way.
• “I must look like… more freaked out looking than, like, Sandusky or something.” — Walt [45:13]
• Also survives a near-collision and embarrassing fall trying to prove himself to the kids. [47:07]

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8. Childhood Psychiatric Files Revealed: “Shower Gidam with Love”

• The teased “big reveal”: Gidam brings in his old psychiatric evals, sparking a deep-dive into his childhood behavioral reports and IQ scores.

Key Findings from the Documents:

• Reported IQ: 144 at age 6½ (not the 148 he’d claimed—much joking ensues) [72:46]
• Diagnoses referenced: mild distractibility, impulsiveness, difficulty with authority, possible (later ruled out) autism and schizophrenia, history of urinating on other kids (“Apparently I convinced kids to hold their hands out and I peed on them.” — Q [69:31])
• Repeated need for affection: doctor's recommendation was "he needs to be showered with love to be productive" [65:19; 88:00]
• “Nothing has changed” — Bry and Walt reflect on how behavior patterns have remained

Group Reaction:

• Extended debate about whether “showering with love” is what’s missing, or if expectations need to be simply lowered.
• Walt: “You just gotta love him harder than you have been.” [78:31]
• Gidam: “What’s the way then?” [76:09]
• A running theme develops—does positive attention breed motivation or just accommodate dysfunction? (
• Jokes about firing him, or sending him to live with Q or Walt for a “week at Chateau Q.”

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9. Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

On Roasting:

• “When they were booing… it was like, ‘fuck you, dude’ … the boos are the applause.” — Gidam [18:45]
• “Have you ever felt that way at the Q Roast?” — Bry
  “I just don’t want to say certain things. I understand it… But it’s not my type of night out.” — Walt [16:28]

On Girl Scouts at Dispensaries:

• “They see all the potheads going in—the dregs of society, all the zombies…” — Walt [22:01]
• “You know how you shoot up weed.” — Bry, sarcastically [22:27]

On Childhood Reports:

• “He just likes to be by himself and sleep. Yeah, something’s happening. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed in 40 some years.” — Bry & Walt [74:47–74:58]
• “He needs to be showered with love to be productive.” — Walt, quoting child psychiatrist [65:19, 88:00]

On Gidam’s Infamous History:

• “Apparently, I convinced kids to hold their hands out and I peed on them.” — Q [69:31]
• “How can you explain that?” — Walt
  “I have no recollection of this incident.” — Q [99:37]

On Meeting Needs:

• “You need to make him feel like he’s the prince in your fucking kingdom.” — Walt [77:19]

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10. Ad Reads and Sponsor Banter

Skipped in summary per instructions except for acknowledging their typical blending into show banter. E.g., joking about Squarespace, Harry’s razors, and Factor Meals, blending in with the show’s characteristic irreverence.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Rodney Dangerfield Story & Shoe Size: 02:10–05:52
• Tampons & Sex Talk at Work: 05:54–08:24
• Jersey Roast Recap: 08:29–15:56, 17:00–19:00
• WWE Segment: 19:11–19:38
• Girl Scouts at Dispensaries Debate: 20:26–27:00
• Pop Culture (Why the Last Man, Friends Decoded, Dark, Planet of the Apes, Hitchcock): 27:34–29:41, 30:03–31:10, 32:20–34:02, 48:51–52:35, 55:10–55:33
• Childhood Reports Reveal (Gidam's Files): 64:12–105:18

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Section Summaries

Opening Banter & Mishaps

• Tales of comic clubs, slapstick falls, and shoe/tampon mal-size woes set the tone.

Roasting & Regional Pride

• Q’s experience roasting Jersey as a Staten Islander, the culture of roasts, and what makes for "good" comedy friction.

Modern Culture and Media

• The gang touches on how media adapts (or fails to adapt) to current social issues and the challenge of closing a beloved TV show well.

Vices and Society’s Rules

• Thoughtful/funny debate on marijuana’s place in public life and Girl Scout fundraising, along with broader riffs on American taboos.

Emotional Health & Group Dynamics

• The big story: Gidam’s old psych reports. Vulnerably and humorously, the group tries to figure out how to support a friend who marches to his own drummer (“Nothing has changed in 40 years.” — Bry [74:58])
• The age-old debate of nurture vs. expectation, and whether “showering with love” can change default behaviors.
• Pen-pal suggestions, jokes about buffets and cleaning, and an honest look at group friendship dynamics.

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Takeaway

This episode delivers classic TESD: irreverence, nostalgia, personal vulnerability, edgy jokes, and underlying warmth. The central arc about Gidam’s childhood and the group’s bumbling attempts at empathy gives the episode heart, while the sharp observations on comedy, Jersey pride, and social mores keep it snappy.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Gravity ain’t giving him no respect, this guy.” — Bry [03:33]
• “If you have a heavy flow or a big pussy.” — Bry [05:08]
• “A leaking vagina and a runny nose… Neither are sexual though." — Walt [07:38]
• “When they were booing… it was like, ‘fuck you, dude’ … the boos are the applause, you know?” — Gidam [18:45]
• “He just likes to be by himself and sleep. Yeah, something’s happening. Nothing has changed in 40 some years.” — Bry & Walt [74:47–74:58]
• “He needs to be showered with love to be productive.” — Walt (quoting psychiatrist) [65:19, 88:00]
• “Apparently, I convinced kids to hold their hands out and I peed on them.” — Q [69:31]
• “You need to make him feel like he’s the prince in your fucking kingdom.” — Walt [77:19]

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Structure

• Brief recap and humor
• In-depth group check-ins and storytelling
• Focus segments on culture, society, and media
• Big reveal: Gidam’s psych documents
• Group’s attempt at positive intervention
• Classic ridiculous outtakes and closing

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For listeners and fans: This episode will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even ponder how you show love in your own circle of misfits.

Transcript

[Bry]

Yeah. If you have a heavy flow or a big.

[Walt]

PR for you. Impractical joker. Rescue sex shop. The juvenile in you guys. Tell him, Steve Dave.

[Bry]

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of. Tell him, Steve Dave. Walt's here.

[Walt]

I'm here.

[Bry]

Q is here.

[Walt]

Hello.

[Bry]

Giddum is here.

[Q]

Are you stankin'?

[Bry]

And of course me, Bry. I am here too. We are all here and ready to do a show.

[Gidam]

I'm on the edge of my seat.

[Bry]

Are you?

[Gidam]

Something was just said before we started recording that got me salivating for.

[Bry]

I think it was gonna reveal something Walt said.

[Gidam]

It was big.

[Bry]

Yeah. Big news.

[Walt]

It's confirmation of some things that the Internet has always questioned about. Get them. Okay.

[Q]

I think it's not confirmation. It's pwning them in essence, at some part.

[Walt]

Well, isn't confirmation. I know you love to. I know you know that pwning is your go to word, but if this were to be in a, like a Senate hearing, I think the confirmation would be the word they use. Not poning.

[Q]

Okay.

[Bry]

It sounds a little bit more mature when he said confirmation. Poned his ass.

[Walt]

Yeah, like a 1448 would use the word confirmation. You know, a dullard would use poning.

[Q]

Okay.

[Bry]

That's for 131s.

[Walt]

That's later in the show, though.

[Gidam]

Oh, okay.

[Bry]

What's later?

[Gidam]

Wetting everyone's appetite.

[Walt]

Yeah, that's the finale of the show.

[Gidam]

Okay, well, I want to start.

[Bry]

I want to hear about this. Oh, before. Before we even get to that. I forgot to tell you guys that the. When I went to that. That show last year, the. I mean, last week, the. The comedy show, it's at a place called Rodney's. It used to be.

[Gidam]

Sure, Rodney Dangerfield.

[Bry]

It used to be Dangerfield. Now it's Rodney's. And the first act to come up is a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator.

[Gidam]

Oh, how'd he do?

[Bry]

Well, he didn't. Not great.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Bry]

He didn't look like Rodney and he didn't sound like Rodney, but he did use Rodney's material, and people seemed to like that.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

He just stole the jokes.

[Bry]

Just took the jokes.

[Walt]

The old jokes that he did. He just did them.

[Gidam]

He covered him.

[Bry]

He covered him. Yeah, it's like a cover comic. But the thing I forgot was that now he was an older guy. He was. Now when I say older, I'm getting to the point where I'm like, oh, I'm not old. Why am I calling him old? But he was probably like in his mid-60s or so.

[Gidam]

Okay. Still whiles away from that he took.

[Bry]

Yeah. You know. Yeah. No, I'm not right. He's right around the corner. God damn it.

[Walt]

He's closer to it than.

[Bry]

He's not so rid of this young man. He took a header down the stairs.

[Gidam]

Oh, no.

[Bry]

Yeah, I forgot. And like cracked his head. Oh, no. He was bleeding from his head. Now, I tell you, like, you know what the stairs look like here at the Plaza? That's what they looked like.

[Gidam]

Ooh, steep.

[Bry]

Yeah, steep. And he fell. Gravity ain't giving him no respect, this guy. None at all. This guy, this comic, Jimmy Palumbo was there to witness it and he was like. It was something else. He was like, I've never seen somebody fall down the stairs. He just like dove into the air and just fell, hit the stairs.

[Gidam]

I saw that once. So hor. Yeah.

[Walt]

Really? Why do you try to get more air?

[Bry]

I don't think it was purposeful the way you trip.

[Gidam]

You launch out over the stairs, which means you've got a four foot drop before you even hit the stairs. All that forward momentum.

[Bry]

Yeah. My wife falls down the stairs quite a bit. She's constantly tripping over her own feet and like going down the stairs.

[Gidam]

Sounds like somebody setting up an alibi.

[Bry]

In fact, nobody's seen her for a while. I think she's at the bottom of the stairs.

[Walt]

When's the last time she got her. Her shoes measured? When she picks up new shoes, she should get her.

[Bry]

I don't. Probably been a while. She buys everything online.

[Walt]

Yeah. I bet you her. Her shoes don't fit properly.

[Bry]

Too tight or too big.

[Walt]

One or the other.

[Bry]

Right.

[Walt]

I bet she just. She doesn't have properly fitting shoes.

[Bry]

I'm trying to get her to wear high heels around the house.

[Walt]

It's like girls like. Like girls don't know how to buy shoe. Like they buy the wrong size shoe and apparently from the commercial, I see the wrong size tampons.

[Bry]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Walt]

So like, they have problems sizing things up.

[Bry]

Well, wrong size shoes.

[Walt]

Eyeing it up.

[Bry]

The idea was always that, like, women want to have small feet, so they're always squeezing their feet into these small sho.

[Gidam]

Chinese foot binding and stuff.

[Q]

Like they did that joke like what, every other episode of Married with Children.

[Bry]

Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

[Gidam]

What joke?

[Q]

Like, woman come in, she says, I'm a size six. And I was like, oh, yeah,

[Gidam]

yeah. I didn't realize. Different sized tampons.

[Walt]

Yeah. I saw a commercial.

[Bry]

Yeah. If you have a heavy flow or a big pussy.

[Walt]

The girl. It was a famous Comedian was doing the commercial. She's in the bathroom and women are coming in and she's like, do you know what size you need or what?

[Q]

Wow.

[Walt]

Yeah, what's that? Convenient. She's got blonde hair. She's kind of Amy Schumer.

[Bry]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen the commercial. Yeah.

[Walt]

And I'm just like, wow. I mean, that would be the equivalent of me, like, buying a hat that, like, goes over my lip. Like, if I put a baseball cap on, it comes down weird.

[Bry]

Harold and shit.

[Walt]

And it hangs down below my chin, and I'm just walking around bumping into shit. I would think, right?

[Gidam]

Amy Schumer pops up, is like your hoodie. You know what size? Oh, it's about the flow.

[Walt]

Oh, is that.

[Q]

There's two different ones.

[Walt]

Isn't there a size too? Or am I just thinking about flow?

[Gidam]

Oh, this is Amy before she went and lost all that weight, huh?

[Bry]

Yeah. Yeah. The commercial's gross, and I feel bad for the guy. Like, it's set up so it's these two newscasters that. She's like a weather person and she's supposed to be talking about tampons.

[Walt]

But that's the joke, though. The flow is the weather, I guess. So, you know, if it's gonna drizzle or it's gonna be a downpour.

[Bry]

Feels like a stretch to me, but, yeah, sure, why not?

[Walt]

It's a great analogy.

[Gidam]

I wonder if that happened in real life, would that. Cause there's one dude in the commercial, he's the sole anchorman. Would he have a sexual harassment case on his hands? Would he ever be like, these women were talking about their flow the entire time.

[Bry]

I think it's a non success on

[Walt]

a commercial about tampons or. You mean a real newscast?

[Gidam]

In the newscast, they all just started going on about heavy flows and stuff like that.

[Bry]

I think that he could probably go to HR and be like, yeah, could

[Gidam]

you maybe ask them not to talk about heavy flow days?

[Bry]

I don't think he could be like, all right, a sexual harassment suit.

[Walt]

I think it's weird that you equate that conversation sexually, though. Like, you put sexual contacts. No, I don't. That is not. I don't. No. I don't equate sex with that.

[Gidam]

With vaginas with blood.

[Bry]

You don't

[Gidam]

feel like, I just met this guy.

[Walt]

It's interesting that, yeah. You would phrase that as a sexual

[Gidam]

conversation, you know, only because it involves, like.

[Walt]

Because it comes from a certain area.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Okay.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

Like, if I were to talk about, like, condoms at work. Is that the same thing?

[Walt]

No.

[Gidam]

Well, saying that that's directly sexual related, so that would be a bad thing.

[Walt]

I would say a. A leaking vagina and a runny nose. If you had like. My nose was running so bad I couldn't get it to stop.

[Bry]

Oh, I want to hear about one more than the other. For sure. If I have my choice.

[Walt]

But it's the same thing. Neither or I think are sexual, though.

[Gidam]

True, true.

[Bry]

I mean, just because it's a sexual area, it's more sexual than a nose.

[Gidam]

I would think so. Like, if I had a juvenile in

[Walt]

you guys,

[Gidam]

All the women I have

[Walt]

can't have an adult conversation about heavy or light flow.

[Bry]

No, definitely not. Not with me. I don't want to hear it. I don't give a fuck. How did this roast go?

[Gidam]

It went all right.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Yeah, it went okay. It was between the two. Jersey did not like the material.

[Bry]

Your material?

[Gidam]

Yeah, I mean, they liked it because they got to argue about. You know what I mean? But I didn't. I didn't do the. Remember, I said I had two choices for the way to do it. I don't think I chose the right one. Jersey did not like it.

[Bry]

So you're really mean about it.

[Gidam]

Yeah, I went after them and they came after me pretty. I mean, it was fun. It was. It was still fun because it was a roast and all that stuff. But in terms of the material, I think got lost because the reaction was so like, hey, fuck you, Staten Island. But, you know, I opened up about how Staten island was better than Jersey and stuff like that. The fucking booze started immediately, so. But it was fun. I mean, the event was great. It was. It was a lot of fun.

[Bry]

That's cool.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Yeah, it was cool.

[Bry]

It was cool. Who was the special guest that. Because it was a special comic that. They were announced.

[Gidam]

Joey Diaz. Well, no, they announced they were supposed to have a special guest, and then that special guest backed out at the zero hour. Yeah. So they had Joey Diaz. D. He killed.

[Bry]

Yeah, he's good.

[Gidam]

Killed him. Him. Chris gathered, slaughtered. It was awesome. Yeah. I did not slaughter.

[Bry]

I got slaughtered.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Jersey rose up against Staten island in that moment. But it was. It was fun. You know, it's a roast. I mean, that's.

[Bry]

That's tough, though, because now you have an entire. Because that's not a small venue. So now you got the entire theater yelling at you.

[Gidam]

No, it wasn't the entire theater. It was. It was good natured. It wasn't like, people weren't like, we're going to get you after the show.

[Walt]

He's like, oh, now, how long was your set?

[Gidam]

Five minutes.

[Walt]

How long did it take you to come up with five minutes worth of material?

[Gidam]

I mean, I've been working on it for a couple. For a few weeks. I guess they have writers there too, so they want you to submit what you have.

[Walt]

Oh, really? They had to proof or, like, approve of your jokes?

[Gidam]

Yeah. And I mean, not approve. I guess they just said, like, we have, like, people who do roasts if you want them to look at it. Oh, okay.

[Bry]

This kind of language may fly on Staten Island. This is New Jersey.

[Gidam]

No, they actually were like. They were like. Because the idea was that I was Come out and be a heel. Like, I was gonna be, like, the bad guy, and I was. But they wanted more heel, and I think you weren't willing to go full heal. No, no, I didn't do it. Oh, there it is. This is a review. Taking pride in his Staten island native, outsiders find his aggressive antagonism of the crowd matched in kind by an intensely negative reaction.

[Bry]

What more do you want?

[Gidam]

What more do you want? Right there. That's awesome. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun, though. The whole event was. Was fun. I had. I had one joke, that bomb that I wish I didn't say, but other than that, you know, it was a roast baby boom.

[Bry]

That's.

[Walt]

You weren't sure, but you were almost sure you were getting. You got paid for it.

[Gidam]

Oh, I got paid for it.

[Walt]

Nice.

[Bry]

Yeah, I got paid for it.

[Gidam]

Yeah, it was. It was. It was fun. I mean, it's fun sitting up there and watching those guys. You know what I mean? You got some real masters up there, right? That guy Chris Covert, who you guys know.

[Bry]

Yeah. He's a local red band comic.

[Gidam]

Killed. Did he killed? Yeah, he did great. He did great. Yeah. Afterwards, we were talking about a little bit, and, like, the pattern seemed to be that Jersey people did really well because they were able to do that thing where they were able to make fun of Jersey while still saying, like, I love this.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Whereas people like me, who came in. Outsiders. Yeah. I thought it was a roast people. Yeah. They don't like outsiders coming in and then doing it, but it was fun. I had a blast. Yeah. Yeah.

[Walt]

I don't know if I'm too uptight or I'm too proud of my state, but I don't know if I would like to sit there for an hour and hear someone, you know, piss all over the Garden State, you know, the state I live In I might get a little irked and start throwing punches.

[Gidam]

I would say, don't go to a roast of New Jersey. That's an easy one to avoid.

[Walt]

Yeah, but, like, I would have gone, though. Like, I would have been there. I know you had tickets for us, but it was a conflicting schedule. But once I got there, I wonder if I would have been, like, a little hostile and.

[Bry]

Yeah, especially with the Staten island guy coming up there.

[Gidam]

Yeah, well, based on the rest of the crowd, I would say yes, you would have.

[Walt]

Oh, it would have been too rough.

[Gidam]

You wouldn't have liked.

[Walt]

For somebody who's, Who's a proud Jersey

[Gidam]

and wouldn't have liked what I had to say about Jersey, baby.

[Bry]

Now, does this color your opinion of New Jerseyans, that maybe they're soft pussies that can't take a joke?

[Gidam]

Oh, no, no, no. Quite the opposite, I thought. No, no, no. I, I, that's what I mean. Like, when they were booing, they weren't like, right. You know, they were sincerely booing. Yeah, it was like, it was, like, good. It was like, fuck you, dude. Yeah. I was actually impressed. I even ended the set by going, I guess. I guess the idea of coming out here and insulting all you guys wasn't the right idea. And then I held up the Jersey Devils thing and I said, but Devils fan? And then I got an applause. So I got off to applause.

[Walt]

There you go. You left the stage to applause?

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Good.

[Gidam]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, it was fun, though. I don't know if I would do another roast of something like that where I didn't know the person. Like, that's the problem is, like, I know Chris Gethard and I know Vinnie Brand up there, but that's it. Like, everybody else, I didn't really know, so it felt weird. Like, I kept crossing off jokes.

[Walt]

Oh, somebody else said them?

[Gidam]

No, because that's, like, I didn't want to say it to people I didn't know. You know what I mean? Like.

[Walt]

Oh, you're not. You're like. I thought, wait, this was somebody named New Jersey or.

[Gidam]

No, no, no. What you do is you. You roast the state.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

And then you, you take shots at people on the day.

[Walt]

Oh, you take shots at the, at the other comedians.

[Gidam]

Yeah, like, people.

[Walt]

But if you don't know them, how do you do that?

[Bry]

You have to know of them.

[Walt]

Of them.

[Gidam]

Yeah. So I, like, I got hit a bunch of times. I got. But I love that stuff, so it didn't bother me, but I felt weird saying stuff to people I didn't know. So I know Chris Guthard pretty well. So I went up to him beforehand. I said, dude, I said, you're really one of my only friends up here. I said, so I might relay into you a little harder. And he was like, oh, same thing with you, buddy. So it was good. So stuff like that. But yeah, but it wasn't as fun as doing it to your friends. So if I did another one, it would have to be someone I know. But, you know, it's good.

[Bry]

Nothing compared to the Q Roast.

[Gidam]

Oh, no, that was so much fun. Yeah, like, yeah, like that woman in front of me right there, Natalie Cuomo, she's so funny. And like, I had a joke about her and I said it and the second I said it, I felt bad. Like on stage I felt bad. It's just not, you know what I mean? It's just making fun of people that I don't know, doesn't really work too well. Yeah, yeah.

[Bry]

And she was hard to know. Like when you know, when you know people, like, you know better, what's going to get to them. Like what you can needle them with and what.

[Gidam]

And they know you love them.

[Bry]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Gidam]

You know?

[Bry]

Yeah. Whereas Natalie Cuomo, she's like, I don't know you, dude. And.

[Gidam]

No, no, right, exactly. You know, so then I, I mean, on stage in the moment, I felt bad the second I said it, so that's never a good.

[Bry]

Did she at least laugh?

[Gidam]

Oh, sure, it was funny, but it was just. I just don't like saying mean things.

[Bry]

Is he too nice for the roasts?

[Walt]

I don't think so.

[Gidam]

Jersey, certainly. So.

[Walt]

No, if he was too nice, he wouldn't have taken the. Would have taken the gig.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

I'm not a fan of the roast format. Yeah. I think it's mean spirited and even Dean Martin. Even Dean Martin's can get a little below the belt.

[Bry]

Oh, Sammy's there. Oh, boy.

[Gidam]

Sammy took it in stride.

[Bry]

He really did.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Yeah. It's a little bit too rough for me, you know, I feel it's you.

[Bry]

Have you ever felt that way at the Q Roast?

[Walt]

I just don't want to say certain things. I mean, I understand it and I get why people love it and people who are great at it, you know, they can excel at it. On. Yeah, it's not my type of.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Night out.

[Gidam]

I said Red bank is like, is like the town equivalent of a guy who forgot to wipe his ass. And it got many boosts. Yeah, it's like what happened in this town this town used to be so beautiful.

[Walt]

Oh, okay.

[Gidam]

And now it's like, yeah, the Red Bankians didn't like it.

[Bry]

They didn't like it.

[Gidam]

They don't like it. Yeah, yeah.

[Bry]

How's Voss? He's pretty good, too. Rich Voss.

[Gidam]

He's great. He's funny. Yeah, yeah. I mean, everybody up there is funny. Really funny. His Bonnie McFarlane, his wife, she fucking killed.

[Bry]

She's really good, right? She's funny.

[Gidam]

Really funny. Yeah, yeah. I mean, everybody up there, it's funny. Vinnie Brand killed, like, everybody up there did great.

[Q]

How'd Tiki do?

[Gidam]

Tiki did good. Yeah, More. The. More measured one. More like, you know, not going for a joke a minute, but he did good. All right.

[Bry]

Did you pull some of your jokes about him just in case?

[Gidam]

Riled up, I started cutting jokes left and right. Once the. Once the booze started going, I was like, all right, let me not go too hard. I've already lost it. But, hey, man, you know, you can't win them all. It would have been nice to win the crowd over with some bawdy Jersey jokes, but you just can't play.

[Bry]

You're starting at a disadvantage being from Staten island already. Right.

[Gidam]

I led what I came in with. Staten Island.

[Bry]

Okay.

[Gidam]

And how much. Now, we've always had Jersey to look down upon and, you know, stuff like that. So I did certainly came in. But at the same time, afterwards, Jeff Ross was like, yeah. He goes, that was awesome. He went for it. So I was like, yeah, what are you going to do?

[Bry]

I mean, if Jeff Ross says it, then, you know, you did all right. Yeah.

[Gidam]

So what are you going to do?

[Bry]

It's a shame. Like, one of the great roasters, like, when they used to do those Comedy Central roasts, Greg Giraldo, is a guy who. He's a comedian who died of a drug overdose. They were waiting for him at a comedy club or something, and he didn't show up. And they're like, this is very unlike him, already dead in some hotel room. But that dude was like. It was unbelievable how good he was.

[Gidam]

Really? Yeah.

[Bry]

I mean, like, assassin, like master class in roasting.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had a blast, and I appreciate it. And I love the state. I just. I love the state of New Jersey. So, yeah, I hope I didn't damage my relationship with them. At the same time, when you're going for the heel role, like, the. The booze are the applause, you know, so it's like. It's a little bit of a weird one, but whatever.

[Bry]

Yeah, you're going for what you're not supposed to.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

Speaking of heels, did you hear about the recent revelation on the wwe?

[Gidam]

What?

[Q]

Of the new character that they brought in?

[Gidam]

Danhausen. Yeah, yeah. Watch every week. Yeah, I'm happy he's already having fun over there.

[Bry]

That was Ming in the ring with him, right?

[Gidam]

Ming's been in the ring with Danhausen.

[Bry]

Okay, yeah, yeah.

[Gidam]

Danhausen does a bunch of indie shows and stuff, and Ming shows up to him.

[Bry]

Right. Okay. I thought I saw him. I thought it was him, but I couldn't really tell from the video.

[Q]

Yeah, Ming posted to tons of them.

[Bry]

Oh, did he?

[Q]

Here's me getting cursed by Danhausen.

[Gidam]

He's a great guy. It's good stuff.

[Bry]

Okay, now, Walt, I know that you're against this term, the munchies.

[Walt]

You don't like it when you get hungry after smoking.

[Bry]

Smoking some weed.

[Walt]

Hot. Yeah, I'm against it.

[Bry]

Well, you were mocking it.

[Walt]

Wasn't scientifically proven that it can stimulate an appetite.

[Bry]

It is, but you were mocking it.

[Walt]

Oh, I don't like the goofballs who are like, you know, I got the munchies, dude.

[Bry]

That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm hoping for.

[Gidam]

Good leading.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

I cannot stand the potheads who talk like, dude, where's my car? Like, shit like that. Yeah.

[Bry]

Cheech and Chong type shit.

[Walt]

I hate it.

[Bry]

Were your girls ever Girl Scouts or Brownies or whatever?

[Walt]

For a very quick window before, they were just like, there's just too many obligations. We're Flanagans.

[Bry]

We don't got too much to do.

[Walt]

We got too many malls. Divisions? Yeah, we got too many malls to

[Q]

go to on the weekend.

[Walt]

I'm trying to. We're not going to sit there and sell fucking cookies for eight hours in front of a fucking true hardware store.

[Bry]

Well, maybe not true hardware, but this Girl Scout group set up outside the daylight dispensary in Mount Laurel. And it was a smoking success, of course. But the move made senior leaders at the Girl Scouts displeased, and it drew criticism. They were scheduled to set up shop at the same location, but it was canceled due to the controversy. Now, I see it the same. There you go. I see it the same as, like, setting up outside a liquor store. Sure, it's just as legal. Same deal. Yeah, but should Girl Scouts be outside liquor stores? I couldn't figure out. Oh, God. I couldn't figure out how I felt about.

[Gidam]

Yeah, well, what's the neighborhood like? Like, is it just cuz I'm all right like, could she set up, like, on the sidewalk outside of it?

[Bry]

Yeah, yeah. That's where I think they were. Like, right outside the. The door.

[Gidam]

Right, but I mean, like, outside the parking lot there. So that's not technically on it. I mean, who gives you what's. Let him sit up there? What's the problem?

[Bry]

I guess it's like it still has a stigma, weed, because it's not federally legal. It's not legal in all states.

[Gidam]

Not in the shop.

[Bry]

Right.

[Walt]

Yeah, but they see all the.

[Bry]

They see all the potheads going in

[Walt]

the dregs of society, all the zombies going in and out of the.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

And then they see dinner later than that.

[Walt]

When their parents come home.

[Gidam]

It's all the same.

[Walt]

They're just like, what's wrong with that man going in there? You know, he can barely fucking function.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

You know, he can't even open the door. You have enough strength

[Gidam]

going into it.

[Walt]

He's got all pock marks all over his arms.

[Gidam]

There you go.

[Bry]

You know how you shoot up weed.

[Q]

He took three marijuanas. It was never the same again.

[Bry]

Yeah, but I guess the senior leaders are like, we don't want to be associated with pot, you know, with weed or dispensaries or anything.

[Gidam]

Yeah, but they shouldn't

[Walt]

vilify the girls and the parent who took them there because it wasn't in the bylaws. If that's the case going forward. Okay, but stop making a big deal about it. Certainly don't bring it to the fucking news and make it a. Yeah.

[Gidam]

How does this become a story?

[Walt]

Right? Like, don't. Don't be so outraged that it gets

[Bry]

picked up by the wire because probably one of the girls. Moms who's weed friendly was like, these fucking little stodgy motherfuckers.

[Q]

Look, look, there's hardworking reporters at New Jersey 101.5 who have to write these stories as part of their jobs.

[Bry]

Genius. Girl Scouts set up shop outside New Jersey.

[Gidam]

It seems like they're in support of the Girl scouts. Like that

[Bry]

200 recreational marijuana dispensaries now operate in New Jersey. And thousands of Girl Scout troops in New Jersey. So shouldn't be shocking that the two joined forces.

[Gidam]

Oh, come on, man. There's a weed dispensary on Staten island called Highstone. And those guys are great. Like, they're always doing stuff with the community and stuff. Like, it sounds like they wanted to work with the Girl Scouts to help support the Girl Scouts.

[Walt]

Right.

[Gidam]

It was nice of them.

[Bry]

And, you know, people are going to be more Likely to, like. Oh, wow.

[Gidam]

Like.

[Bry]

Like potheads are known to. They're not like. Like when I. When I used to take oxys.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

The chances of me sharing that were like, nil. I'm not sharing any fucking pills with you. Get the fuck out of here. But when you're talking about pot.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

You're always willing to share.

[Gidam]

Sure.

[Bry]

Potheads are very, like, very open.

[Walt]

I think my girls are. Obviously they're adults now, but I have a niece, and if she was like, can you. Can you help take me this weekend and set up. I would definitely not set her up in front of a weeds place, though.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

I would not think that is something that. It just like kids in that they should be as far away from that as possible until they're old enough to.

[Bry]

Until they're like 12, 13 and can figure it out.

[Gidam]

I understand that angle. I understand that point of view. I get it.

[Q]

What about gas stations?

[Gidam]

It just wouldn't bother me.

[Walt]

Gas stations? Why gas stations?

[Q]

Because I've seen the Girl Scouts in

[Bry]

front of gas stations.

[Walt]

Oh, you meant don't bring your kid to a gas station. Why? Because it's dangerous or the smell of gas.

[Q]

I'm just. Yeah. Like, it just seemed. It always seemed a little out of place to me, like being at a gas station, like. I understand. In front of a supermarket or petsmart something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Walt]

I just think there's too much traffic going around, you know, in and out of a gas station that you don't want to have any kid sitting up at a fucking card table, you know, getting mowed over by some dude who just fucking pulled out a dispensary.

[Bry]

I get all these pock marks. So that was the hubbub on New Jersey. Should these Girl Scouts be setting up?

[Q]

Yeah. I believe their official reasoning was that they don't want them setting up outside of businesses that they can't partake of, is what upper management said.

[Gidam]

Yeah. I mean, again, you're just like, I get those rules, but it's like you're just deciding their rules.

[Walt]

I guess it should be if you can't. If a kid can't go into that store legally.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Any store, let's say it be a liquor store, dispensary store, or even, you know, like a shady store. Like adult shop. Yeah. Like, you shouldn't have probably kids anywhere near the property, you know, trying to sell.

[Gidam]

I could get it for an adult shop. For like a sex shop. For sure. Liquor store. I don't. I don't know. Is the liquor store in A In a strip mall and they're just like near it. Is that okay?

[Walt]

Like, yeah, you know, there's so many gray areas.

[Gidam]

There's gray areas. Whereas any. Anything with a sex shop. I'd be like, they should not be in a strip mall with a sex shop in it. Like, they should get out of there.

[Walt]

Do they even exist anymore?

[Gidam]

I have no clue.

[Walt]

But the Internet, I would say shops.

[Bry]

Yeah, yeah. Like in New York, there's some. There's. There's one down in Key West. There's actually two down in Key West. There's one right on Duval street. And then there's one on that Front street, too. Oh, yeah, There's Adam and Eve on Duvall.

[Gidam]

Oh, yeah. But that's more like. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, you're right. That one. That one Front street closed.

[Bry]

Oh, did it?

[Gidam]

Yeah, closed down. But yeah, there were more lingerie shops than you didn't.

[Walt]

But it's great PR for you. Impractical Joker rescue sex shop in Key west. If you came in and bankrolled them.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Like, guys, you're gonna love this. That's all right.

[Walt]

The unofficial mayor of Key west saves another sex shop.

[Gidam]

Guys, we're almost down to one sex shop. Because of the efforts of me, we're back up to two.

[Bry]

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. Good for you. And one of the. Yeah, a lot. Instead of watching bullshit tv, I've been reading a lot of Joe Hill lately. I read this Justin Cronin series. It was like a three book series. And what I'm peppering in there are trade paperbacks and trades that I have from year. I mean, I had Locke and Key. I was gonna buy Locke and Key. It's a Joe Hill series, but I'm just gonna buy it, you know. Cause I really liked King Sorrow, the book he just wr. Am I going to check it out? So I go. I went. And I looked at my bookshelf and I'm like, I already have it.

[Gidam]

Right.

[Bry]

That's how little I'm aware of the shit that I have. So it's like. So I read that and then I'm four out of five books into why the Last Man.

[Gidam]

Oh, yeah.

[Bry]

Have you ever read that?

[Walt]

I don't think I ever read that.

[Gidam]

Yeah, I read it.

[Bry]

Somebody took a gender studies class. Holy shit. That is girl powery. That is super girl powery.

[Gidam]

If there's going to be any power, it's going to be girl power.

[Bry]

I like it. I like it.

[Gidam]

Yeah, it's good.

[Bry]

It's a good series.

[Gidam]

The TV show was not good.

[Bry]

Oh, that's what I heard.

[Gidam]

Oh, it was. It was brutal. Bad.

[Walt]

What year would this have been?

[Gidam]

3, 4 years?

[Bry]

20. 21, I think.

[Walt]

It was very small station then picked it up. Right.

[Gidam]

No effects, maybe? No, they just. They just dropped the ball so badly. That promotion, I think everybody just agreed to not talk about it.

[Walt]

He had a monkey.

[Gidam]

Yeah, monkey's great. Yorick is the monkey's name.

[Bry]

No, Yorick is the guy's name.

[Gidam]

Yurik.

[Bry]

Yeah, the monkey's name is. What the Is the monkey's name now? I'm just reading it.

[Walt]

Cheetah,

[Gidam]

Yorick and. Oh, Ampersand.

[Bry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should know because he makes a big deal about the whole symbol and stuff.

[Gidam]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bry]

Mel Cappuccino.

[Gidam]

Yeah, they tried. They tried to make. Why the last minute smack in the middle of like, you know, all the. All the gender turmoil that was going on. So they couldn't even. So they didn't even want to say. They were like, we can't. You know, they were like, well, he's not really the last man because trans women are men too. And like, then they went all in on that messaging and you were like, yeah, but that wasn't in the books at all. So people are like, I don't know.

[Bry]

Yeah, you're talking about a virus that wipes out all biological male creatures.

[Gidam]

Yeah. They tried to walk. They tried to step around it so much that you were like, guys, if you have to step around it this much, forget it. Maybe just forget it. Yeah, like, maybe it's just not the show you should be making.

[Bry]

That makes sense.

[Walt]

What network was it on?

[Q]

Get him fx.

[Gidam]

I started watching Ted Lasso. Did you watch this on Apple, right? Apple. Yeah. First season was fucking really good.

[Q]

Oh, yeah?

[Gidam]

Yeah. I was like, comedy. Yeah, it's a comedy. It was. I was. I always stayed, you know, I don't know why. I never been into it, but I started watching. I was like, fuck, I get why everybody loved this show.

[Walt]

If I seem a little down, it's because last night I watched the final episode of Friends. I'm done with it.

[Bry]

Get the fuck out of here. Really?

[Gidam]

Oh, man, you burned through that.

[Bry]

Oh, yeah. Holy shit.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bry]

That's like, what, 11 seasons or something?

[Walt]

10 seasons.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

The last episode was it plucked at the strings.

[Bry]

Let me guess, somebody gets married.

[Walt]

No, not in the last episode. Second to last episode.

[Gidam]

Were you satisfied with the. The send.

[Walt]

I had heard the fandom wasn't satisfied with the send off. When it originally aired, oh, so many years ago, but I found myself, like, like, you know, sitting up in bed and pumping a fist in the air. When Rachel came back and got off the plane and came back to Ross, okay, it was like, you know, a triumphant moment, you know, like, why did

[Gidam]

people not like that?

[Walt]

I don't know what they didn't like about it, but I guess Chuck told me that. That the Friends fandom did not. They didn't stick the landing. Like, most series don't stick the endings.

[Bry]

There's very few series that, like, the endings are beloved. Like, MASH is one of them. But that's like, what, 70?

[Walt]

That was fucking 75 years ago.

[Gidam]

Did you guys hear that show Dark on Netflix? It's German. It's in German, so you got to watch it with subtitles. No, it's fucking awesome. I just finished that. It's time travel stuff. It's so funny. If you could deal with, like, the subtitles. Subtitles. It's. It's not. They don't walk. They're not holding your hands through any of it. Like, you literally have to pay attention at every.

[Walt]

Oh, so read and pay attention.

[Gidam]

Yeah, it's actually better to read it because it helps you absorb what's going on and stuff like that. They're literally like, if you're too stupid, keep up.

[Walt]

Because, yeah, like, it's like, real.

[Gidam]

Well, it's dark matter and the God particle and all that stuff. But, yeah, they're like, if you can't keep up, go fuck yourself American. And I'm like, all right. And I do it. But they. I just watched the last episode last night, and I was like, that's a fucking ending.

[Bry]

What I'm trying to think of what, like, is the movies, the shows that I've watched, like, Sopranos. At the time, I was. I don't even know what happened. Yeah, Deadwood. Totally unsatisfied. Game of Thrones. I even watched the last season. I heard so awful things about it. Like, people like, don't even bother watching it. Just, like, be satisfied with it.

[Walt]

Seinfeld, they said people that weren't satisfied with it.

[Bry]

Yeah, they made a whole subplot about it or storyline about it.

[Walt]

On Stranger Things, you know, there was.

[Bry]

Yeah, they're like, there's gonna be another episode.

[Walt]

It's hard to do.

[Bry]

I hadn't thought about that angle. But you were right. Like, if you're the creators and you hear all this chatter, like, hey, man, they were just teasing us. There's gonna be a really good episode coming up next week.

[Walt]

Yeah. It would be devastating as the creators were just like, oh, my God.

[Bry]

Because you saw how much they put into that last episode. Episode. It was nuts.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bry]

I mean, visually.

[Q]

Yeah, visually.

[Walt]

But it strayed so far from the source of what it was to what it became. It is startling, actually, when you watch the first episode for the last episode, it's basically just all done on green screen.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Q]

I think the SHIELD had a good ending.

[Gidam]

SHIELD had a great ending. SHIELD had a great ending. I like the Deadwood ending. I mean, I know it just got cut off.

[Bry]

Yeah. That was, for me. It just, like. It got cut off.

[Walt]

And I was like, what about Breaking Bad? That have a good ending?

[Bry]

Yeah, yeah. I think Breaking Bad had a pretty decent ending.

[Gidam]

So did Better Call Saul, actually.

[Bry]

Yeah, you're right.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Good endings out there.

[Walt]

I guess you just gotta. The bad ones get more. Most of the ink.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

How I met your mother, Game of Thrones people.

[Bry]

Then. Some people didn't like the Breaking Bad ending, though. They're like, he got to die on his own terms. That's not cool. You know, like, he should have been in jail for the rest of his life. It's like, now you're just talking about,

[Gidam]

like, what the writer point of the show was. A guy had cancer and was dying for life. Is he living in prison? Spoiler alert. I guess. Speaking of cancer, you see Bruce Campbell announce he has cancer?

[Bry]

Oh, I didn't see that. No.

[Gidam]

That knocked me into. That knocked me a loop.

[Q]

I was gonna text you, but I figured you probably already got millions of them.

[Gidam]

I did. I got a bunch of texts. Yeah, I know. He says it's not curable, but it's treatable.

[Walt]

Okay.

[Gidam]

So hopefully it's like one of those blood cancers that they can keep in check for years and years and years.

[Walt]

For years and years.

[Gidam]

Oh, it was a fucking. It was a hit, though. I was unhappy to hear that.

[Q]

I was hopeful because I. You know, he's saying that he's canceling his summer appearances, but he's coming back.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

To do. I guess he's got a new show

[Gidam]

coming out, so he wrote and directed a movie.

[Q]

Yeah. So he's doing the press tour for that. So he's taking the time to get healed now.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Treatment now, hopefully. You know. Hopefully. He's only 67. I mean, geez Louise, man. Let's. Let's kick the shit out of this thing.

[Bry]

Yeah. Really. So squarespace. Anyway, Q. Oh, what's up?

[Q]

If you want to get a website done, you need to go To Squarespace.

[Gidam]

Oh, Squarespace. Yes.

[Bry]

Hot off the heels of Bruce Campbell. That does suck. That's. It's just. But it happens more and more. Like the older you get, the more you see, like these people that you really like, loved and respected.

[Gidam]

Well, he looks off one by one. He's not dropping off.

[Bry]

Yeah, he's still alive. Don't count him out.

[Gidam]

Yeah, don't count Bruce Campbell out, man. Not at all. He's just got a bit of a fight out of him.

[Bry]

It seems like a lot of people fucking hear that news. Yeah. You know, it's like in the end everybody like dies of cancer.

[Gidam]

I don't know, man.

[Bry]

Isn't that what Dave Windorf said that? Right?

[Walt]

What?

[Bry]

I thought Dave Windorf said that on an episode very early on. He's like, everybody dies of cancer in the end.

[Walt]

Squarespace.

[Bry]

Squarespace, yeah.

[Gidam]

Not that Bruce can. That's not. Yeah, where we're going with that.

[Bry]

All right, anyway, Squarespace. Now I'm supposed to read this copy. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with a built in appointment scheduling, scheduling and email marketing tools. Every dream needs a domain. Squarespace domains make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. Every Squarespace domain comes with advanced privacy and security tools included to ensure your domain remains online and protected. Plus, Squarespace provides everything you need to bring more of your dream to life. Whether that means building a website or adding a professional email service, don't wait to claim your name. Invest in your dream domain today. Ming Chen does this. Ming Chen uses Squarespace for all his websites. He said, now I'm not a website builder so I can't really use Squarespace, but if I was going to try, I said they make it pretty easily. Yeah, they make it pretty easy to do. So head to go to checkout squarespace.com promo code TESD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code tesd that's code squarespace.com tesd to use to get. Oh my God. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code tesd. That's one. We got four today, so I'm just gonna do two for right now. Yeah, I know. Man, these advertisers love us. This is Harry's. I can give a personal endorsement because I just used the razor today to shave my cheeks to a nice baby ass smoothness.

[Q]

They really are smooth, aren't they though?

[Bry]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. We were nuzzling earlier, Gidem and I. Yeah. And he mentioned it. Your life has leveled up. Your phone is basically a supercomputer. Your car parks itself. Your headphones cancel noise like magic. But your razor, still flimsy and still overpriced and still stuck in 2008. Harry's plus has an advanced pivoting system to reach every corner of your face. A refined blade tech for a a close, smoother shave, and a weighted metal handle. Harry is heaviest handle ever for added control and comfort. Feels like an expensive shave, but it isn't. Refills are still cheaper than the other guys. It's designed with progressive blades for less tug and pull. And with Harry's Plush, you get a barbershop quality shave with German engineered blades. Each blade is honed at three different angles to cut hair cleanly at the root without tugging. Blade spacing is optimized to glide smoothly and avoid clogging. Drugstore blades clog so fast.

[Q]

I just got an email the other day that my barber was raising his prices.

[Bry]

Oh, yeah?

[Q]

Yeah. So I think nowadays is when you really want to save money.

[Walt]

Where's your barber?

[Q]

Has a pavilion next door.

[Walt]

I didn't know you had a barber. So your dad did all your shavings?

[Q]

He was. But you know, when he was.

[Walt]

When he got ill, you had to find a real barber.

[Q]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bry]

So such an email.

[Walt]

He's not recuperating enough that he could shave you.

[Q]

I kind of got used. I kind of got used to going over there. So. Because they got the. What is it that. That toe show that what's her name used to do? Jennifer Lopez.

[Bry]

Oh, yeah.

[Q]

Palm Beach Towing or whatever they got that on.

[Walt]

Does your father know that you replaced him? Does he know that?

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Really? He so has. So when you show up all. All sleek and smooth and everything, he kind of like.

[Q]

He kind of like looks down, like kicks the dirt. He's like, I guess he did a good job.

[Bry]

I guess your dad is Harry's now, huh?

[Walt]

Wow. You gotta like your dad shave you again.

[Q]

All right, maybe for Q West.

[Walt]

Can you shave him on stage?

[Gidam]

I don't know. Maybe we could do it like on a side stage.

[Q]

Comedy festival.

[Gidam]

Paying good money to watch that for 40 minutes.

[Q]

I mean, it's no Ming in A butterfly costume in a conservatory.

[Gidam]

You're right, it's not.

[Bry]

Definitely not.

[Q]

I wish it was.

[Walt]

But if we just play like whales communicating under the ground like, just like. That's the. That's the audio to him shaving you. Every once in a while you just make a weird noise.

[Q]

Seems like something Yoko Ono would do.

[Walt]

Yes, it's very art. It's very European.

[Bry]

What's all the performance rq? You don't think they can handle it?

[Gidam]

No, I don't think so.

[Bry]

Harry's plus is the heaviest razor handle ever made from metal, never plastic. And Harry's just doesn't make razors. They've got a full line of grooming essentials, from shave gel to deodorant to body wash, all thoughtfully made and priced. So you can stock up on it. You can get grooming products and blades delivered right to your door. So you'll never run out of blades again. For a limited time, our listeners can get Harry's plus trial set for only $10 at Harrys.com Tesd the set includes the all new Harry's plus razor, one refined five blade cartridge, a two ounce foaming shave gel and a travel cover to protect your blades. On the go. Just head to harry's.comtesd to claim this offer and after you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them support. Tell them Steve Dave and tell them that we sent you.

[Walt]

All right.

[Bry]

And do those two for right now. Get the other two later on.

[Gidam]

Nice.

[Bry]

Let's see what else do I got here though.

[Walt]

I'm all sore today.

[Bry]

Yes. I'm not surprised.

[Walt]

I went ice skating last night for the first time since, I don't know, 2012, I guess on Conflict. I went to the Devils.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Bry]

Right.

[Walt]

Ice arena, the practice arena for that episode.

[Gidam]

This was what, on a frozen lake?

[Walt]

No, at the rink. The local rink by my house.

[Gidam]

What made you go?

[Walt]

My daughter has been ice skating. Not a lot, but she's been going for a little bit. She's been going here or there and she asked me if I wanted to go with her because there was an open skate at the local rink and I agreed to go. But I hadn't been on ice skates in quite some time, so I was a little rusty. What they had there was they turn the lights out and they have like loud music playing and then they have like, I guess like different color lights flashing. So they kind of make it look like a. Like a. Almost like a club.

[Gidam]

Yeah, like a disco type thing going on. Right.

[Walt]

So there's literally a thousand fourteen. No. No, they are not. But there's like. There's like a hundred kids there, all between the ages of being from 14 probably to 17. And I get on the ice, and I'm kind of, like, finding my bearings again because it's been a while. And I see my daughter come by and she does this amazing.

[Bry]

Stop. Sprays ice in his face.

[Q]

Keep up, old man.

[Walt]

And I don't have my glasses on, and it's dark. And so I go over, I go, what the heck? I go, look at you. I go, how the hell did you get so good? And the girl's face, like, it looks just like her.

[Bry]

Oh, no.

[Gidam]

Oh, no.

[Walt]

And the face of Hark. Of, like, as I see, I'm like, oh, my God, it's not her. And before I can even say, oh, I thought you were my kid, she just goes, yeah. And she just takes off, sprays him with pepper spray. The look that she gave me will haunt me.

[Gidam]

Wow. How old was she?

[Walt]

She could have been anywhere from 15 to 20.

[Q]

Right?

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

So my daughter looks very young, too. She's in her 20s. But I said to myself, when she stopped like that too, I was like. I go, is that Alicia? That looks taller than Alicia. But then I was like, God, she's on ice skates. It's got.

[Bry]

She looks. Flanagan just looks.

[Walt]

She has. She just did her hair where it has a red tint to it.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

This girl had a red tint?

[Gidam]

Sure.

[Walt]

It looked like I saw my daughter. I was like, did you see this girl over here? She goes like, yeah, yeah. She goes. She started laughing. She goes, yeah. She came over to me and was like, nice hair do or whatever. And we kind of laughed and we looked. We looked at each other. Yeah, I thought it was you.

[Bry]

How about that guy?

[Q]

Just be careful.

[Gidam]

There's a creeper foot.

[Bry]

Yeah, he likes red streaks.

[Walt]

But holy fuck, though, that look. Y' all never forget that look.

[Gidam]

What do you think was behind the look?

[Walt]

Pervy old man? Fucking like. I was like, oh, look at you. How'd you get so good?

[Bry]

Come here, honey. Let me smell you.

[Gidam]

Very familiar.

[Walt]

Oh, it was bad.

[Gidam]

Yeah, but once you explained it, though, once you were like, oh, I'm so sorry.

[Walt]

She skated away. I didn't get a chance to say.

[Gidam]

I was gonna say.

[Bry]

That's not something you wanna start.

[Walt]

I wasn't gonna chase her. Wait, wait, wait.

[Bry]

Unless she reacts automatically with like, oh, I get it, I get it. No problem. It's not something you wanna go into depth because here's the reason.

[Walt]

And it was that, like, that feeling of dread as I was like, oh, my God, it's not her. And the way I just spoke to her was way too, too familiar.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Like, look at you.

[Bry]

Who is this old man? This weirdo?

[Gidam]

Somebody's all grown up.

[Walt]

It was so, so horrible. I'll never forget that look on her face. Like, my God, I don't, like, just mortified. It's like, yes.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Like, I must look like a freaked out. Like, even more freaked out looking than, like, Sandusky or something.

[Gidam]

Like, why is he even on skates?

[Bry]

How'd he get in here?

[Q]

Ye.

[Bry]

To be fair, I think that's like, most girls that age are like, ooh. Like an old man talked to me. It almost said something to me. I mean, the fact that you did speak in such a familiar way, like, look at you.

[Walt]

I didn't say it like that.

[Bry]

All grown up and skating around.

[Walt]

I was like, oh, my God, look at you. I was like, how the hell did you get so good? And then like that. I was like, oh, no, you suck. I got this. So they. And I had to rent skates because my. My ice skates got washed away. And Sandy.

[Bry]

Sure.

[Walt]

So I don't have any ice skates, so I had to rent skates. The first skates they give me, basically, they were duller than a fucking cue ball. So I'm like, my God, have my skills deteriorate this badly that I can't even go an inch without? Like, it was horrible. But I got another pair of skates, and then I got a little bit better skates on. Not great. And I started to, you know, warm up, up. And we were only there for two hours. And my daughter goes, have you fallen yet? I was like, nah, I don't fall. I said, I haven't fallen in years. I said the last time I felt was the 80s. I was like, you know, I was being all cocky. And then Jonas Brothers came on Cake. Cake on the beach, right? And that song gets me going. So I was like, I had to pick it up a notch and show these kids that, you know, that old man. Man could still motor around. And sure enough, you know, on second verse of Cake on the beach, not on my face, on my back and my neck trying to make sure my neck doesn't. My head doesn't smash and hit the ice. And there's like a trail of blood

[Bry]

right as you skid to the wall.

[Walt]

I like trying so badly to keep my head off the ground so I don't hit my head as I know I'm going down.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

My body was sore this morning.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

Rough.

[Walt]

And then there was like. Of course, there's like, 50 kids who I can skate like the wind. Playing tag, and they're skating in and out, and everybody. And this one kid, like, tries to stop and then turn back the other way, and I'm coming.

[Bry]

So arms flailing like.

[Walt]

No, I'm not flailing, but, like, I don't. I'm not that good where I. Like, I could. Could, like. I don't know, like, you do a pirouette and get out of the way. I'm not Brian Botano, but I'm also not get him either, Right. So I. I could. I have some maneuverability. So when this kid comes flying at me, he's got his head turned, I have to, like, catch him, and I'm like, oh, my God. I just don't want to touch anything I shouldn't touch. Like. Like, save this kid's life because I'm already on somebody searching.

[Bry]

You already got a rep?

[Walt]

Yeah, I already on a neighborhood watch list already by the time I can leave here. And I'm like, please, God, don't let this kid fall. And we go tumbling down, and, you know. And it looks even worse, but, you know, I was able to, like, just kind of grab him and just throw him to the side, and he's like, oh, thanks, dude.

[Bry]

Duder.

[Gidam]

He said duder.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Oh, cool, man.

[Walt]

I was like, I'm duder now, not the creepy old pervert. Let's leave now. On a high note.

[Bry]

I said, like, Q. Leaving on his laugh with the roast.

[Walt]

Yeah. Yeah. But my neck is, like, all wrenched from trying to fucking keep it up without hitting the ice the other night. Last night.

[Q]

Speaking of keeping it up, would you.

[Walt]

That'd be a great segue.

[Bry]

It would have been. I've also been. I went back to show Marybeth all the Planet of the Apes.

[Walt]

Really? The original Roddy McDowell?

[Bry]

The original five. Yeah.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

What's the reaction to that?

[Bry]

She likes them. She likes her. She didn't, like, Escape that much.

[Walt]

Well, that's one of my favorites. I love time travel.

[Bry]

Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was pretty good. But in Beneath Planet of the Apes, they talk. I didn't realize because I haven't seen him in so long. They talk about Baby Hitler. Like, talking about going back in time to kill baby Hitler at one point.

[Walt]

Yeah, it would have been the fucking sixth one.

[Bry]

The sixth one.

[Walt]

Planet of the Apes of, you know, versus Planet of The Hitlers.

[Bry]

That would have been cool.

[Gidam]

I would watch that.

[Bry]

Yeah, definitely watch that today. I'm like, why didn't they make that?

[Gidam]

I don't know. I love those new Apes movies.

[Walt]

Yeah, they're really. They're done really well too.

[Gidam]

Underrated. I don't know why they're. They're not as rated as highly as they should be.

[Walt]

A lot of affection for the source material and respect.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

And they didn't on it. And they just kind of added to the mythos and did a really good, great job.

[Gidam]

Yeah. I mean, two movies were. Two separate movies were about prison breaks. But both of them were awesome, right? Yeah.

[Bry]

The other, my. The other thing that I noticed but I couldn't really bring up at the time was how fucking hot is Nova? I mean, holy shit, again, like, could

[Gidam]

you call up Nova for me there?

[Walt]

Yeah, she was perfect.

[Bry]

70s body

[Walt]

gig. She doesn't have to speak.

[Bry]

She doesn't have to say anything.

[Gidam]

Oh, she's that girl. Got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bry]

I got a good picture of her.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Oh, I remember her.

[Walt]

Did you watch a TV show? You got to show her that too.

[Bry]

I never watch a TV show. Is that. Is that available or.

[Walt]

Oh, yeah.

[Gidam]

Oh, dude, anything's available on the right. I don't know.

[Walt]

Well, to me it is out to

[Bry]

the peons talking to a God of television. Yeah, look at her, man. Yeah, look at her.

[Gidam]

It's funny because I watched an old Kirk Douglas western called the Indian Fighter and he's, you know, it's great. And of course there's like the chief's daughter and she's like the whitest looking woman possible. Like it's all these Indian woman's and the love interest is basically just like a white woman with some tanning on her. It's so funny. I'm like, it's. She's Italian. Like, what are you doing? Get her out of that. It's so funny.

[Bry]

Was it made in Italy?

[Gidam]

No. No.

[Bry]

I don't even know.

[Gidam]

She's tired. She looked Italian, but it was great. Yeah. They made love in a river. I was like, who in the fuck you know? Cold. That river is like, this is how I know I'm getting old.

[Bry]

I'm like, not a chance.

[Walt]

Parasites get a river worm up your anus.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Who needs that?

[Walt]

And then it's hard to get out.

[Gidam]

Especially back then. They don't even have the medication.

[Walt]

Oh, I think they got to go out with the tweezers to get it out. Pull it out like a loogie.

[Gidam]

Oh, Lon Chaney Jr. Was in it too. I didn't realize he did westerns. Track launch. Yeah. Oh, Wolfman.

[Walt]

Okay.

[Gidam]

Wolfman. Yeah, Wolf Man. Right. This was. Look it up. Get him called the Indian Fighter.

[Walt]

Yeah. He was a horrific drunk.

[Gidam]

Oh, yeah.

[Walt]

Launching Junior. Yeah.

[Gidam]

It looked like everybody in this movie had their struggles with alcohol. Walter Matthau was in it.

[Walt]

Oh, what year?

[Gidam]

Yeah. 55. It was a killer cast, man.

[Walt]

What made you watch this?

[Gidam]

I was in a bar this week and it was on with no sound and it was looked. It was Technicolor and it was so gorgeous. I was like, I gotta watch this.

[Walt]

Those old movies with those colors, man. Like, you feel like you're gonna leave like with radiation poisoning. But they're so riveting because of the colors.

[Gidam]

It was. It was gorgeous. So I went to watch that studio. Yeah.

[Q]

Lobby card.

[Gidam]

And Kirk does. He's like, how old do you think he is? I mean, another year. 48.

[Walt]

I'm like, he looks 60. They lived a lot harder, you know, they. They were kicked out by their parents in the Great Depression at 9 and they had to find work.

[Gidam]

Go chew on dust, people.

[Walt]

Yeah. So they. They had a much more harsher existence than a 40 year old who still lives with mom and dad and PlayStation. Y.

[Bry]

I was thinking, speaking of, what were we talking about? No, we weren't talking about trains earlier, but I did think that, like, have you ever gotten busy on a train queue?

[Gidam]

Huh?

[Bry]

Because there's the Mile High Club. Of course I have.

[Gidam]

But is there a train equipment? Well, I mean, yeah, in a way. Subways in Manhattan count.

[Bry]

No, I'm talking train.

[Gidam]

Yeah, like. Like, like a cross country. Like oriental express.

[Bry]

Say you're on your way down the Orlando with the wife.

[Gidam]

Yeah, your wife.

[Bry]

Say Walt's going down there with his wife. He owes it to us to get busy on a train, I think.

[Gidam]

I would say so. The Long Club, it's called.

[Walt]

I took a train from California to New Jersey, you know, five days. Do I need a partner to say I joined the club?

[Bry]

You can't trick off and say that you joined the Mile Long Club.

[Walt]

There's not a lot of room in those cards to get busy. You know, you got to be. You got to be like David Blaine in a fucking box and shit.

[Gidam]

Wait, why won't subways in Manhattan count? I got a reputation to depend here.

[Walt]

I think they should.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

What'd you do, diddle?

[Gidam]

There was mutual diddling, all right. As I recall, this is a St. Patrick's Day, late 90s.

[Bry]

Oh, okay, that makes sense then.

[Gidam]

Diddling aplenty back then. Yeah.

[Walt]

You're lucky Bernie get stuck and didn't see you put a screwdriver.

[Gidam]

I wasn't bothering him. He wouldn't bother me.

[Walt]

Oh, no, that's disrespectful. You got a whole crowd of car and you're sitting there, diddle, diddle, diddle,

[Gidam]

A mile long club. I'm in.

[Bry]

Yeah, yeah, we've been watching. I have this again. These DVDs that I bought years ago. Yeah, I'm talking pre pandemic called the house of Hitchcock. And it's like 15 of his most well known movies.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Bry]

Yeah. And I'm like, I've never watched these. Why?

[Gidam]

Why not work your way through it?

[Bry]

Why not? So, yeah, so we started working our way through it and it has those colors, those same super rich, brilliant Technicolor. It's really interesting to watch.

[Gidam]

Like, why don't they make them like that anymore? No, we need someone that knows these things.

[Bry]

It's so saturated. Yeah.

[Gidam]

Looks great.

[Bry]

The colors.

[Gidam]

House of Hitchcock.

[Bry]

There it is.

[Walt]

You guys want to reveal kiddums?

[Bry]

Oh, yeah.

[Gidam]

Oh, I forgot about that. So we're having such a cozy conversation. I forgot.

[Bry]

What time is it? Hold on. Maybe we'll. Let's, let's. Let's read these next two ads and then, then we can talk. Yeah, let me knock these out.

[Walt]

Let's see. Stay tuned, Internet. You're about to get wow, poned.

[Bry]

Yeah, they're at the edge of their seat right now.

[Gidam]

I wonder what it could be. I'm shocked.

[Walt]

What's the biggest speculation about Gidham? Like, what are the things that people are like? It's not true. He doesn't have. What?

[Bry]

Oh, autism. Right?

[Walt]

Oh, well, I thought it was, you know, 146.

[Gidam]

Okay, got it.

[Bry]

All right. This message is sponsored by Raycon. With spring on the way, it's a perfect time to refresh your routine and spend more time outside. Whether you're going on daily walks, running errands, or just soaking up some fresh air, it's nice to have something that fits effortlessly into your day. Raycon's essential open earbuds have been our go to for being while being out and about. Because they're open ear, you can listen to music or podcasts while still hearing what's happening around you, which makes the outside feel easier and more comfortable. The sound stays clear and balanced without feeling closed off from your surroundings. And right now you can grab them for 20% off. Regular earbuds. Regular earbuds. Block out everything. You can't hear someone calling your name, a Hong horn honking or anything. These raycongs sit just outside your ear canal so you get a really clear sound, but you can also actually hear what's happening around you. They're really light and the ear hook part rotates so they actually stay in. Raycon has over 3 million customers and the sound quality is just as good as way more expensive brands. They're half the price because you're not paying for celebrity endorsements and all that retail markup stuff. Here's some of the features that make them your everyday go to open ear design. Let you hear your music in the world around you.

[Walt]

They are really putting a lot of weight on open ear. You said open ear like seven times.

[Bry]

They are? Yeah. Well, this is the new open ear buds.

[Walt]

Are they the only buds that are open ear?

[Bry]

I think so.

[Walt]

Let's just say they are.

[Bry]

They're just the best. I mean, why would you look anywhere else? Mary Beth has them. I got them for Christmas. She really likes them. Multi angular hook switch between your phone and laptop without repairing them every time. They're lightweight, multi point connection, 36 hours of battery life. They have an open ear design. Essential open earbuds are perfect for refreshing your routine this spring.

[Walt]

10.

[Gidam]

You have to do a shot every time.

[Q]

I know they're focusing on the outdoor activities, but I will tell you, when I go to the buffet, I really like wearing my Raycons.

[Gidam]

Why?

[Q]

Because I can watch my tv.

[Walt]

He can drown out the fucking sound of him fucking chewing. The rest of the restaurant can't, but at least he can with his open ear Raycons.

[Q]

Like when the waitress comes over and asks me if I want to refill. I can hear, but I can also keep hearing.

[Gidam]

Why can you hear them?

[Q]

Because they're opening the ear design.

[Gidam]

Yeah, that's what I was trying to get at. There you go. Very good. Cool.

[Bry]

Let me see something real fast.

[Gidam]

Looking up the definition of open ear.

[Bry]

Yeah, what is this open ear stuff anyway? The essential open earbuds are perfect for refreshing your routine this spring. Go to buyraycon.com tesdopen to get 20% off. And thank you Raycon, for sponsoring the podcast. Okay, one more and then we are going to find out about Gidham's real iq. Cold days, big goals. No time to cook factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs who eat well without the planning or cooking. What goes inside? Quality functional ingredients including lean proteins, colorful veggies, Whole food ingredients and healthy fats. No refined sugars, no artificial sweeteners, no refined seed oils. Meals that fit your goals and schedule. Variety 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious throughout winter.

[Walt]

Whose estate?

[Bry]

This is Factor.

[Walt]

I heard, I was listening to a YouTube video today. I was listening to some music in the shower and a Factor commercial came on. Oh yeah, it's way better than your reed.

[Bry]

What do they do differently? Do they talk about open ear?

[Walt]

It just sounds like so much more energetic. It sounds like they've actually tried Factor.

[Bry]

It just sounds like that's what I was looking up. I have my personal endorsement right here.

[Walt]

Like the fact that they're full of shit though. That guy gets the same amount that

[Bry]

we're getting paid, we probably get paid more.

[Walt]

This crime against humanity that that guy put so much work into his.

[Gidam]

The thing about Factor one, hey, he's got it, man. He doesn't have an audience that he built over 16 years.

[Bry]

Always fresh, never fresh.

[Gidam]

If we can't dial it in now, when can we?

[Bry]

How about we earn the right to dial it in?

[Gidam]

Jesus Christ.

[Q]

Did it make you want to jump out of the shower and actually have a factory meal?

[Gidam]

16 years we've been doing this.

[Walt]

I just made me. I'm just sitting there as a water's coming down my face. I'm like, oh my God, we are fucking piss poor. We're fucking turning in to fucking. Getting paid for by Factor is criminal. As to what this ad read was

[Bry]

that I heard Factor.

[Gidam]

Listen, all right, let's turn it around. Let's turn it around.

[Bry]

Can I turn it around? Let's see, there's convenience. Always fresh, never frozen.

[Gidam]

It's ready in about two minutes. It comes in a box with the ice packs in it keeps your food nice and even in the hot, hottest. Today's fresh and cold.

[Bry]

There's no point to do right, which means there's no stress.

[Gidam]

Oh, so dude, I see.

[Bry]

Isn't there enough stress in life, Walt already?

[Q]

Totally.

[Walt]

You know, some. Some say the stress is what keeps you going though.

[Bry]

Really?

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

But one thing you don't have to stress about is eating good food.

[Walt]

This is what you don't want to do with these fucking ham fisted fucking bullshit like the guy Smiley fucking voice. It's just so annoying. You know what you don't need? It's just. Oh, come on. That radio. That radio voice of yours has gotta go. Retire it, please. I'm serious. Do you realize you're doing it or you don't even realize? You just you just go right into it.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

As your friend.

[Q]

You know how you go into fake walks? As your friend.

[Walt]

As your friend. Retire that voice.

[Gidam]

He says no. He shakes his head.

[Bry]

Does your friend no. It's too valuable.

[Q]

These golden pipes make me money, pay my salary.

[Bry]

Let me see what Mary Beth.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

This is a train wreck compared to that guy's read today. He was so energetic. It was like I just wanted me to run out of the shower nude and just find the nearest store that carried factor.

[Gidam]

So let's just play his commercial. Record it on your phone next time and we'll just play that.

[Walt]

I will.

[Bry]

Mary Beth recommends cavatappian meatballs, home style chicken and gravy. Smoky gouda and Mac. I know she loves that one. And shredded beef. Smoky gouda and Mac. And shredded beef.

[Walt]

Shredded beef. What's the difference between shredded beef and beef?

[Bry]

Shredded.

[Walt]

What do you do with it? Shredded. It's like a sloppy joe shred.

[Q]

You cook it a little longer.

[Gidam]

Ground beef. Sloppy joe is ground beef.

[Walt]

So what's shredded beef?

[Gidam]

Shredded is like pulled pork almost.

[Bry]

Yeah. The kind of shit that gidem brings for lunch. Except it's beef, not pork, so it smells good.

[Walt]

Yum.

[Bry]

Head to factorymeals.com tesd50off. You're killing my commercial.

[Walt]

Yeah, yeah. I'm the one that killed it.

[Bry]

My shortcomings.

[Q]

Be more energetic as I bring you down.

[Bry]

Yeah, not energetic enough. Do it again. Hit the factory meal for.

[Walt]

You gotta find the energy. Without sounding fake, though.

[Bry]

Without sounding fake.

[Walt]

Yeah, that's what you gotta work on. Have a whole seven days between now and the next time you're doing.

[Bry]

You work for the reads next week, you're going to be fucking blown away.

[Walt]

Head to factor meals.com, take off your

[Q]

clothes and run out the door.

[Bry]

Factor meals.com tesd50off and use code tesd50off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor New subscribers only. Varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Factor meals.

[Gidam]

Nice.

[Walt]

Can I say something not attached to the ad?

[Bry]

Sure.

[Walt]

But still about the ad, like you said.

[Bry]

Give it a couple seconds.

[Q]

All right.

[Walt]

Eat like a pro. Now, when I hear the phrase eat like a pro, I think of getting him at the fucking. At the buffet. That's eating like a pro. Like fucking. Like putting them almost out of fucking business. Like going in chapter 11 and shit

[Bry]

or whatever they say you gotta walk through the door.

[Gidam]

That stress.

[Walt]

That's eating like a pro.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

Not filling up on empty cars. Just pure meat.

[Walt]

Just pure peanut butter and chicken.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

So Gideon went home to his dad's house last week and he came back with the motherload. He found all his.

[Q]

No, not all.

[Walt]

Well, a big. A big cachet of documents. He went to psychiatrist when he was a child. And a lot of the things like it really. I read the documents and it really opened my eyes to. I'm like, I shouldn't expect anything from this man.

[Gidam]

Anything at all.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bry]

Judging from when he was what, seven,

[Gidam]

six and a half, it's questionable whether you should even be employing him.

[Walt]

Well, Operation Bootstrap, I just think, yeah, expectations have to be lowered.

[Q]

Wow.

[Walt]

Yeah, that was the eye opener for me.

[Bry]

Wait, lower than they already are?

[Walt]

Yeah, you have to. You have to. And you have to do it with love. Oh, boy, you've got like. There's a thing in there that really made me go, holy shit, I've been doing it all wrong. Because his psychiatrist said he needs to be showered with love to be productive.

[Bry]

Not tough love.

[Walt]

Not the kind of love I've been given, really. Which has a bit on the tough side, Right, Gundam? Sure.

[Bry]

For how long now can you undo what you've done?

[Walt]

You have to try. You have to start. You just can't be like, we're going to continue banging my head against the fucking wall like he did at 6 years old. And they finally took him to a psychiatrist. But yeah, it really will make you. He. Has he scanned them all in.

[Gidam]

Oh, let's see some of them.

[Walt]

Some of them in. And you could see some of the comments by the psychiatrist.

[Gidam]

And psychiatrist is alive today. Can we get her on the show?

[Walt]

I think it was a male, right?

[Q]

Probably, yeah.

[Walt]

And I don't. I doubt that they're alive. Maybe it's possible, but it really was a window into how we have to, all of us, not just me, have to turn it around and take a different approach to our.

[Gidam]

Shower him with love.

[Walt]

Well, let's bring up some of the documents.

[Q]

Which one I go with first?

[Walt]

You bring up whatever one you think. And also it reveals his IQ at six and a half.

[Gidam]

Wow. Okay. Oh, wow. This is real deal. Old, typed.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Can you expand that?

[Bry]

485. 78. Oh, no, that's his birthday. It is 85. Yep. 185.

[Gidam]

Behavioral problems.

[Bry]

He puts Gidem in there.

[Walt]

He removed his real name and put Gidem in there so that he wouldn't make a mistake and call him by his real name.

[Gidam]

Of course.

[Walt]

But what are some of the Highlights. I asked him to highlight some of the highlights. He refused to for some reason. That's. That's a fly. Is that too harsh? I'm sorry.

[Bry]

You're not showering him?

[Gidam]

He does not. According to his mother, he does not listen and tends to be manipulative. Are you sure you're not getting manipulated right now?

[Walt]

If I'm going to do this, I cannot take that kind of jaded.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

Cynical outlook. I have to be. I have to treat him as if he will wilt and die without my affection and yours.

[Gidam]

Stop throwing us in on this.

[Walt]

Larisa. I can't have my glasses. I left them in the car. Can you read some of the comments on here?

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Is it too.

[Bry]

He's an active child and according to his mother, he does not listen and tends to be manipulative.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

Gidem has never had any seizures. General health is good. Early milestones were apparently unremarkable.

[Walt]

What does that mean? I don't know. You didn't crawl, right?

[Q]

I crawled. Two days past my nine month birthday.

[Walt]

I thought you went right to almost walking.

[Q]

Yeah, yeah, I didn't. Yeah.

[Gidam]

Okay, here we get.

[Bry]

I did the same. Get him. Kindred soles.

[Gidam]

He was distractible and he had a little difficulty with short term memory tasks in both the auditory and visual modulity. But when asked to pay attention and when the directions were repeated, he was then able to complete the task successfully. This did not seem to create any frustration for him. It was just getting a matter of him to attend.

[Bry]

Then it ends.

[Gidam]

Oh, there's not ends.

[Walt]

So that's the unremarkable one. Right.

[Gidam]

Except for some mild distractibility which then resulted in some difficulty with short term memory tasks. Is unremarkable. He required no further neurodiagnostic tests. I see no evidence of neurological impairment on this examination. So he's not autistic.

[Walt]

Wait a minute. Yes. Well, where's the documents that show all your. All your problems?

[Gidam]

This is a woman. It's a woman, Dorothy.

[Q]

Well, this is this. So what happened was they had me. They put me through a battery of tests.

[Gidam]

Sure.

[Q]

Because I was having trouble in first grade.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Where's the one where you're urinated on all the kids?

[Bry]

That's the one we want to see.

[Walt]

Yeah, that's the.

[Q]

That's a different one. Yeah.

[Walt]

You didn't scan that one?

[Q]

I didn't know because it has staples in it, so I couldn't.

[Bry]

Oh my God.

[Walt]

So what?

[Bry]

Can't take the table?

[Walt]

That's an insane document. Well, like about how you urinated on everybody.

[Gidam]

You just peed on other kids?

[Q]

Apparently I. Apparently I convinced kids to hold their hands out and I peed on them.

[Bry]

Oh, so whose fault is it then?

[Q]

That's my question. So this is my. The psychiatric evaluation.

[Gidam]

Okay.

[Walt]

Here's where you. You're gonna really be like, oh, my gosh, get him.

[Gidam]

At 6 and a half years old, first is referred to by his child study team because of a history since nursery schools of impulsiveness, distractibility, calling out easy, easy, loss of control, difficulty with following directions, and difficulty with authority figures.

[Walt]

That's why he fucking.

[Gidam]

He sounds cool.

[Walt]

No, that's why we're butting heads like I'm the authority figure.

[Bry]

Right?

[Walt]

Yeah, that's why he, like, he kind of acts out. He wants to rebel.

[Q]

That's my prize.

[Bry]

Wow.

[Gidam]

Okay, I see what you're getting at here. But given that we see that Gidham has adjusted it, can I believe these numbers? I need to see the piece of paper. He has a 144 gifted IQ with an even pattern of borderline auditory memory on the Whisker and Detroit. I don't know what that means. With superior scores in all other areas, abstractions of all types and comprehension are extremely high. He has on or above grade academics with normal visual motor skills. He has previously been thrown out of day camp. What's all this redacted shit?

[Walt]

He didn't crawl all that much as a child. Weird, right? That they would put that as something they would put in the report.

[Gidam]

But why is all this stuff redacted?

[Q]

It's about my family.

[Walt]

It's about. It's about his parents.

[Gidam]

I understand. Okay. Yeah.

[Walt]

Now, can we say that you've mentioned that your father's no longer married, right?

[Q]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

So the psychologist claims it was very traumatic for his mother and father to separate. But you say it really wasn't that, right?

[Q]

Not that I remember. But that's just, you know, going back on what I remember.

[Walt]

You don't. You didn't feel there was any kind of major trauma or emotionally for you when they broke up?

[Bry]

Up?

[Q]

No, like, I don't. I don't believe. I didn't believe it was because of me, so.

[Walt]

Right, yeah.

[Q]

Which I think is what I would associate the trauma with people is, is that they, you know, they think it's because I was in like through fourth or fifth grade. Like, I was in special groups for divorced children. Really? Yeah, they had spent.

[Walt]

They group kids as. As the children of divorce.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bry]

That's pretty progressive.

[Q]

Why, though?

[Bry]

Maybe so they can all relate.

[Q]

Well, that was. That was like, third through fifth grade in UN Union. So this is Millstone, which is Monmouth County. That's when we were up. I was up in Union.

[Walt]

So it's like a support group where you guys would tell stories about.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

What would you talk about?

[Q]

Like, I was just mostly listening because, like, I didn't under. You know, just trying to reach. Trying to find something that, like, these other kids were talking about, you know.

[Walt]

You didn't have any stories?

[Q]

Like, I had fighting stories of, you know, my mom screaming and yelling, that kind of stuff.

[Walt]

The pillow.

[Q]

Yeah. I don't know if I brought that up. Up.

[Walt]

That would be story one, man. You would have been the. You. Well, I don't think you have been the prize people.

[Q]

I don't think that's part of the divorce. Like, yeah, it's not a divorce story,

[Walt]

but the. The 144 IQ at 6.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

It's not 148. Well, but it is 148.

[Gidam]

Only 6.

[Q]

I. I should note that this is only one of the. I had the same thing when I went to union schools because I got transferred in my third grade, because my. I went. My custody went to my father. So then we switched to union schools. And then at the end of third grade, beginning of fourth grade. Ish. I had the same exact thing happen again.

[Walt]

You know how vain Giddam is.

[Gidam]

Yes. He.

[Walt]

When he talked about talking about this on the show, I was kind of teasing him about how, like, you know, you're not 148. You're 144. You know, you got to get rid of all your jerseys, all your stickers. That's how you. 148. And he goes, well, we could just Change it to 148 street and make my life simple. He wanted to change the number. That's how vain he was. Like, 144. Was it not high enough?

[Gidam]

I don't even know that I would. I need to see the original.

[Q]

Okay.

[Walt]

You don't believe this. You could take my word for it.

[Gidam]

Yeah, this is okay.

[Walt]

Legitimate documentation. This is not okay. All right. You did not fudge these.

[Gidam]

Well, it's right there. And then black and white, Black and white, 144.

[Walt]

And this is the first of many.

[Q]

Again, I've never seen this before, like, a week ago.

[Gidam]

What? Also says here that you wet your bed, you can't ride a bike. I can now get him often says he can't do it. What?

[Walt]

Anything.

[Bry]

Sugar can increase his activity level. Oh, yeah. It's every kid.

[Gidam]

All right. Gita made a spaceship out of blocks in my waiting room. It was very creatively done. He needs quiet to function. His imagination and thought processes are always active. He drew and erase often and consistently added to a Pac man interpretation. He makes noises while working.

[Bry]

So does Sage. Sage is constantly making noise. Just like while sitting there doing anything. It's like. Like making noise and shit.

[Q]

I think the next line is appropriate.

[Bry]

He's isolated from other classmates. Schoolwork is boring.

[Q]

No, the one about that. I don't like school and work.

[Bry]

Oh, I don't like. Yeah, Gidem does not like school and work. He just likes to be by himself and sleep. Yeah, something's happening.

[Walt]

Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. Changed in 40 some years.

[Gidam]

No, I guess not, man.

[Walt]

In the exact same tandem mind, like. Like the same mindset.

[Gidam]

What do you mean?

[Walt]

He doesn't really want to do anything but sleep.

[Gidam]

Well, he has a job.

[Bry]

He doesn't like it.

[Walt]

Again, I'm going to be loving. I'm going to be loving and let that fucking line go that you know. And not. Not comment in a way that. That I know it would in the past.

[Gidam]

Yeah, but he's such a guy that feels. He has this weird fake honor thing. He has these weird fake morals that he likes to say. He has These weird belief in like rules that he. And none of it's true.

[Walt]

Yeah. As soon as they. As soon as they don't apply to him or make his life a little bit difficult, then all of a sudden.

[Gidam]

Out the window. Yeah, out the window.

[Walt]

Then that rigid mindset becomes very pliable.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Loyalty and honesty, they go right out the window the second. It means he's got to do something. Something. I got you.

[Walt]

But the fact that you can't get that back room clean.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

This is why. And you got to just be like, you know what? I don't care about that back room.

[Gidam]

That's not the way.

[Bry]

No, that's bad.

[Walt]

What's the way then?

[Gidam]

The way.

[Walt]

Tell me the way.

[Gidam]

The only way to fix it.

[Walt]

I want to hear this.

[Gidam]

What? The way is buy or get them and get someone else in that will do what they're getting paid to do. We're not doing it. We all know we're not doing it, so what's the point? But like, that's the only way to do it.

[Walt]

He's okay, but that's. Yes, that is the way. But I meant what is the way where he is still.

[Gidam]

There is no way. Yeah, there's no way.

[Walt]

Can you just, like, love him so much that.

[Q]

I do love him.

[Gidam]

I love him.

[Walt]

No, you got to know you. I'm talking about on a level that has never been seen between two men.

[Bry]

Like, he's moving into your house.

[Walt]

Yeah, no, like, I don't mean sexually. Again, I know you. You, you know, tampon talk and everything. I just mean, like, you treat him like. Like. Yeah, like. Like your brother. On, like.

[Gidam]

I don't treat any of my friends like that. Why is he the one that gets treated like that?

[Walt]

The psy.

[Gidam]

What about what we need?

[Walt]

What about what I need? You got what you need. You know you got it. You got it in spades.

[Gidam]

That doesn't look like a explosion happened.

[Walt]

You don't really don't need that. You really don't need it.

[Bry]

You know?

[Walt]

You don't need it. You don't need it. You need to make him feel like he's the prince in your fucking kingdom.

[Gidam]

How? How could we do it any more than it is.

[Walt]

I think there. I think you've been kind of on snooze control in terms of, like, it's a lot of words. I love you, but I don't know

[Gidam]

if he feels a lot, but he gets to keep doing words, not actions. Actions are.

[Walt]

He gets his inactions. Need you to act. You need more action. He's in action. That's what you need to do.

[Bry]

The more in action he presents, you got to work harder.

[Gidam]

He presents himself as this fucking guy who likes who. What's right is right and loyalty and the honorable. Follow the rules.

[Walt]

When has he ever said that?

[Gidam]

Why he won't take things down on Reddit? Because it's not right. I'm not a dictator, like, stuff like that. He likes to present himself this way, but he's not that way.

[Walt]

Because at the end of the day, if he has to take it down, it's work. Then he has to. Then he has to monitor it on a much more, like, regular basis and be like, oh, I have to make decisions. He doesn't want to make any decisions. Yeah, he doesn't want to make.

[Gidam]

He also doesn't want to be told what to do.

[Walt]

Yes.

[Gidam]

So where does that leave us?

[Walt]

You just got to love him. Love him harder than you have been.

[Gidam]

You already love the guy.

[Walt]

I don't care. That is just talk. I need to see it. I need to see it, but I haven't seen it.

[Bry]

He's having him down the Q West.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

I think he needs a week at Chateau Q, man.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Where you just like. No, like, you make him feel like the most special boy on earth.

[Gidam]

No, I don't have.

[Walt]

It should be like. You should be like Michael Jackson.

[Gidam]

Let me watch. Let me watch you by learning from you. You.

[Walt]

I, I. Look, man, I put most of the time in anybody here with this.

[Gidam]

Sure. But now, you know, you have to step it up.

[Walt]

I think he. I think I'm the authority figure. You're not the authority figure for him. Yeah, you're the celebrity figure.

[Gidam]

You're.

[Walt]

You're the cool celebrity uncle, okay. That comes in every once in a while with like, oh, here's something that somebody gave me that's worth a thousand dollars. You could just have it. Get him. Because I don't want it. Yeah, I can't do that. I don't have that kind of juice. I come in and I'm like, Like, hey, asshole, why the fuck is this not done yet? And you come in with like, oh, look, hey, you want this? Get him. Somebody sent to me. I don't want it. But you can have it.

[Gidam]

Right?

[Walt]

And he just looks at it like, all stargazed.

[Gidam]

But that's not. Like, what more can I give the guy? Like, if your approach isn't working and my approach isn't working, where is the.

[Walt]

Where's the approach come in with more like, it's not with physical gifts. It's got to be emotional now. You got to connect on a level.

[Gidam]

And what do you see being the end result of me showering with love? Where does it. Where does it get us?

[Walt]

If I said an immaculate back room.

[Gidam]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Walt]

I think it could lead to an immaculate back room at 1.

[Bry]

Years of trying.

[Gidam]

No, you don't.

[Walt]

Yes, I do. No way.

[Gidam]

You believe that. You can't.

[Walt]

I think if he leaves your place after a week being like, that was a week where you just, like, every day is like, what was that? Never Neverland.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Like, if you bring in a monkey and bring in a little petting zoo, every day is an adventure for a week. I don't see how he could come back to the office and not clean it.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

What if it's during the warm weather and you just let them stay outside by the pool? Pool. Like, he doesn't have to come inside.

[Gidam]

I mean, for a week.

[Walt]

Yeah, you have a pool because he

[Bry]

wants to come visit you. You got to show him the love.

[Gidam]

Wait, let's talk about Bry's role in all this.

[Walt]

I don't know if he's capable. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think he's capable. I think we work on Gatum first, then we take our attention towards what Brian wants.

[Bry]

Yeah, all right. I like that. I'm coming over.

[Gidam]

Q, you can come over for a week.

[Bry]

Oh, man.

[Walt]

Well, show him the thing about the love about the evaluation where he. What you need is affection.

[Bry]

Where's that middle and trial. That was not like super common back then, I don't think. In the 80s, right? Like, middlin was rarely prescribed. You must have been real fucked up.

[Walt]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like he was probably a lot worse than we even can imagine.

[Gidam]

We know he was because all the stories from the camp were all horrible.

[Q]

Well, that was 10 years later.

[Walt]

He was a teenager.

[Q]

Yeah, decade later.

[Walt]

Where's that urination one?

[Bry]

You didn't bring it. You didn't bring that one.

[Gidam]

Who the fuck used Comic Sans?

[Bry]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Q]

Walt brought that up too.

[Walt]

Oh, the font.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Walt]

How do you type that?

[Gidam]

I don't know. What typewriters do they even sell by?

[Walt]

Can you zoom in on that?

[Bry]

It's from 84.

[Gidam]

All right. Three step evaluation.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

This is where it gets real.

[Gidam]

Possibility of severe. He found the doctor found. After a three step evaluation he found the following. 1. Possibility of severe neurotic conflict manifesting itself as autistic and behavioral problems caused by explosiveness.

[Walt]

Hear that sound? That's the sound of the Internet getting pwned. As they all fucking smack their forehead and be like, holy shit, he is retarded. He is.

[Gidam]

I've been amazing him.

[Q]

This is the third doctor that's confirmed it.

[Walt]

Third doctor. Number three. The fucking hat trick of fucking disabilities right there.

[Bry]

Okay.

[Gidam]

Number two. The possibility that Gidem is suffering from a neurological deficit should be followed through fully. And my recommendation would be a full psychologicals neuropsychological workup. What Hal said. Neuropsychological battery for children, blah blah, blah. Being given as a must in that particular test. I don't know what any of that means.

[Bry]

Can you imagine, like you adopt a kid and this is the fucking lemon that you get?

[Gidam]

Yeah, but it's. Get him. You gotta love him, dude.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

He has this possibility of schizophrenia.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

How can you explain that?

[Bry]

He's ruling it out. They're ruling it out.

[Walt]

Oh, they ruled it out. Okay. All right.

[Bry]

Schizophrenic.

[Gidam]

The family situation in the mother and father leading divorce has caused a great deal of trauma and get him. And should be continually monitored. But why is it worse for him than anybody whose parents. In fact, why is it worse for him that parents have stayed Together?

[Bry]

Yeah, tell me about it. I'm traumatized.

[Gidam]

The family's been cooperative. That's nice. The possibility medication should be kept apparent.

[Walt]

Do you think that's why you don't throw anything out? Because you saw your parents throw their vows out?

[Q]

No, I think that started way later.

[Walt]

Do you worry about.

[Q]

Sure. I can't. I've tried to pinpoint the. When that started.

[Walt]

Do you worry that the people in your life will drift apart because your parents drifted apart?

[Q]

I think I just kind of expected.

[Walt]

You expect everybody to drift away.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

How long do they need to stay in your life before you feel any sort sense of like. Well, they're not drifting away. I mean, my God, they've seen the worst of me and they're still here.

[Q]

I think anybody.

[Bry]

Who are you talking about?

[Q]

I think anybody could drift apart at any given time. There is really no.

[Walt]

There's no. Okay.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bry]

Oh. So never let your guard down.

[Walt]

Well, what can you do? A guard is like. Yeah. He seems almost.

[Q]

I think you got to enjoy it while you can.

[Walt]

Are you enjoying it?

[Gidam]

What?

[Q]

My relationships with people.

[Gidam]

It.

[Walt]

Are you enjoying it?

[Q]

What it is, my relationships with people?

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

Yeah. I try to enjoy them while they last.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

I just wonder about. You know, this is what I think about again. In the cold dark of the night. I think about get him where. You know, recently we had to have an uncomfortable conversation with them.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

And I walked away from that being like, what is this guy gonna do if this goes away?

[Walt]

That's where you come in.

[Gidam]

His whole social circle.

[Walt]

Uncle is the only one that could take him.

[Gidam]

Everything. Everything good in comes from. From this. Not everything, but you know what I mean? And to be so cavalier and careless with it. To be like, I don't have to do what they want me to do. I. To be. To be like. I don't have to act the way that they want me to act. To be like. To be like it doesn't matter. Is. Is not.

[Walt]

I don't know if the fucking moves

[Gidam]

of a guy who has everything to lose.

[Walt]

He's still alive.

[Q]

No, he's dead.

[Walt]

Oh, he's dead.

[Gidam]

Even now I'm talking to him. He's looking up obituaries.

[Walt]

That's an indication. Know of.

[Q]

Like, how was something I was asked

[Walt]

to do before the spot on his brain.

[Gidam]

Yeah, but even that. That's what he does. But he argues. He comes back.

[Walt]

But this is why the spot.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

You can't remove that spot no matter how much you try to rub it out.

[Gidam]

What? Let's Say recently, we had to be like, sorry, got him. You gotta go.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

What would his wife be like? What would have happened?

[Walt]

I think he. I think he finds another circle to get into. Might not. It might be a while before he finds it, but he'll. It's not like he's. I mean, I don't want to equate it to a cockroach, but you. They're. They. They. They're survivors. There are certain people that just.

[Gidam]

Well, I don't think he would starve to death in a fucking. I just mean, like, he would lose so much to lose.

[Bry]

Well, I guess it's not like he would lose his whole social circle. He would still be friends with the people, but he wouldn't see them nearly as much.

[Gidam]

No. And that's how those disconnects start.

[Bry]

That's how people start drifting away.

[Gidam]

Yeah. So to me, if I was him, I'd be like, I got to do everything I can to keep this job and keep this lifestyle I got. But he doesn't seem to have that in him.

[Walt]

So. So if just cleaning that back room would be an indication for you.

[Gidam]

Yeah. I mean, doing what you were told to do. It's at work. Yeah, I guess it would be an indication. This again, you know, we're back with the overflowing trash cans and stuff like that. Like, I mean, that is literally an overflowing trash can.

[Bry]

It is.

[Gidam]

With nothing but Twix wrappers and fucking shit, like, piled over it. What is going on?

[Walt]

That's a. It's a trash can now.

[Gidam]

I know, but that's where.

[Walt]

At least it's the stuff.

[Gidam]

Is that all over the side of it? This wrappers over here?

[Bry]

Yeah. Stuff all over the floor.

[Gidam]

Yeah, it's just like.

[Bry]

What?

[Gidam]

What. What is it?

[Walt]

So have you told them that you want. Don't you would, like, oh, somebody out

[Gidam]

there could find the footage of us talking about those garbage cans. Because that was the thing, like, two years ago that was an issue. You come in every week, the same garbage is in the fucking garbage can. And now we're back at it. And now the back room isn't clean.

[Walt]

Show that love thing again. The doctor says he needs to be showered with love.

[Gidam]

All right. All right. This is why I can't do it.

[Bry]

Why?

[Gidam]

Because it's not helpful to him to believe.

[Walt]

But you're not willing to do what the doctor said, then that's basically what you're. What you. What you're saying is What a doctor

[Gidam]

40 years ago said, can we get credentials now?

[Walt]

Those Credentials don't mean anything in 2026. No, no.

[Gidam]

Well, they might, but, like, he's not the same fucking person. The roots of the. Of the bitter tree that we see growing now.

[Walt]

But that is a weird mindset, though, that you're told, well, you're given the doctor's recommendation what you need to do, and you're like, no, I'm not gonna do it.

[Gidam]

Right.

[Walt]

Well, I don't know. That's like. That's counter. Contradictory. Counterproductive to solving, I think, the problem, though.

[Gidam]

But the problem. So you think if we shower him with love.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Suddenly the garbage cans are clean?

[Walt]

Yeah, I do.

[Gidam]

Suddenly. Okay, all right.

[Walt]

Yeah. Again, it just can't be words. Got to be actions.

[Gidam]

Yeah, but what does that mean? He's not coming to my house.

[Bry]

I didn't show another man with love.

[Walt]

You know what it means?

[Gidam]

I don't.

[Walt]

It means, like, daily check ins, check ins with texts. Like, and not just like, hey, bud, how you doing? And then you don't answer for four or five days.

[Bry]

Wait a second.

[Q]

It.

[Bry]

I'm his best friend, and that's what happens to me.

[Gidam]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Walt]

Like, he can't. He can do that with you and me, but, like, he's got to be much more dialed in.

[Gidam]

I can't do it.

[Walt]

You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

[Gidam]

You won't do it.

[Walt]

You won't.

[Gidam]

I guess they're the same thing. Let's go to my therapist and get reasons why I can't do it. And let's. Let's bend to those young Q. Yeah.

[Walt]

Why are we bending way worse shape than you are? You got a great life.

[Gidam]

He's got a great life. He could be a lot better, but he's in danger. It could be a lot worse is my point.

[Walt]

It could be. Yeah. But this is what. This is what you're doing, though. You're like. You're almost like him. It's almost like I'm dealing with a planet of the Gittens. It's like everybody around me is so fucked up. It's like, here's what the doctor says to do. And everybody's like, no, I'm not gonna do that. It doesn't make any sense.

[Gidam]

All right, all right. Give me some concrete ways. Give me some tips that don't involve him at my house.

[Walt]

Okay? Just. Just more real check ins. Not like, how you doing today? Like, like, really be like, what are you doing today? Like, what'd you do? And how'd that make you feel. And what can I do to, to help you?

[Gidam]

I can't do any of this.

[Walt]

You can't why?

[Gidam]

Can't do any of this.

[Walt]

Why can't you do that?

[Gidam]

Busy. I, I, you're too busy. I have, what's it, adhd.

[Bry]

There you go.

[Gidam]

You know what I mean? I have my own issues.

[Walt]

To be just dialed in so much that you're like, like yesterday we went to look at a house.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Last night, like, you could spend a couple hours on the phone talking to him about what was wrong with the house.

[Bry]

A couple.

[Q]

I did.

[Walt]

Right. You could ask him about where was it, what was wrong with it, what was good.

[Gidam]

Can't do any of that.

[Walt]

Then we're never, it's never going to improve. Then it's never going to improve.

[Gidam]

I'm not talking two hours a night.

[Walt]

No. A couple hours a week. Then I'm here with baby steps.

[Gidam]

A couple hours a week.

[Walt]

Baby steps.

[Gidam]

How about this? How about this? I'll start coming in a little earlier and leave a little later to get a little get him time in FaceTime. So if we're recording at 4, I'll come at like 3:15.

[Walt]

What do you think about that, kiddo? Do you think that's just like pandering?

[Bry]

Gotta try harder.

[Walt]

Like when you talk, when you text me about the, like it's like when

[Q]

a teacher asks you to do a 200 word essay to give them like 201.

[Walt]

Yes. But like how you text me like inane stuff about, like you hear a commercial and you text me about it. You don't text Q because you're like, like there's a feeling of like he doesn't care. Right. You want to eliminate that. Right. But you want to eliminate him thinking that no matter how that I care about commercials, no matter how frivolous or boring or meaningless his thought is, you should be hanging on it and making it the most important thing in your life. Whatever he's thinking of in the moment.

[Bry]

In the moment.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

I do text him. And then he tells me it was the wrong number.

[Walt]

Just give it a shot.

[Gidam]

It says he's not delusional or hallucinatory. So why would he believe any of this?

[Walt]

Well, I don't think it's because you show him that you are doing what the doctor said and you're showing him that love that you boast about and say, I do love him, but you're actually showing him through actions now that, like, it's not just hollow, empty words.

[Gidam]

Okay, so what do you think's easier for me to do?

[Walt]

I don't care what's easy for you anymore at this point. Yeah, we're not worried about Q anymore. And what's easy for him? Those days are done. We had a 15 years of what was easy for Q. Now it's about what's best for get him.

[Bry]

Okay.

[Gidam]

All right. It sounds like it's coming down to either me or get him leaving this podcast.

[Walt]

Oh, my. We gotta get a real psychiatrist in here. And just. And that's not just about you. Is there something really, like, concerning about a man who's just like, I can't text more than twice a week. You know, that's.

[Gidam]

Yeah, yeah.

[Walt]

Like there's something like a disconnect.

[Gidam]

Well, first of all, you just said talk two hours a night, and he just brought that down to two texts a week, which, by the way, I can't do either. I got no more time for texting.

[Walt]

All right, then I guess it's just all on me then.

[Gidam]

How about this? How about this?

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

Okay. Okay. I think that. I think that this will be a meaningful compromise. I think Gidem and I should become pen pals and literally write mail letters to each other. Now, that is a. That is. That takes time.

[Walt]

Yeah. Why. Why is this somehow.

[Gidam]

Because it changes communication to, like, now something's coming in the ma.

[Walt]

Because you know Gideon won't do it, and then you. Because I know him. He's not gonna do it either.

[Gidam]

You wouldn't pen pal me.

[Walt]

No.

[Q]

As long as you don't mind being typewritten.

[Gidam]

No, I don't mind it being typewritten. So, like, this way, we, you know, it's. And we have a record of it. We, you know, we have the letters to each other. It becomes a unique, beautiful bonding thing.

[Walt]

Much more impactful than a phone call.

[Gidam]

I think so. Yeah. Really, it's thought of. It's more time consuming. You gotta sit down, you gotta write something.

[Walt]

So he's. Let's say he's. Let's say he's spiraling and he's gotta write a let and wait for it to arrive and wait for you to read it and then respond, then put it in the. Put it in the mailbox and by

[Bry]

that time he's feeling better.

[Q]

Come on.

[Gidam]

I think it's nice. I like it.

[Bry]

There is something about typewritten letters. Letter in the mail.

[Gidam]

Love it.

[Bry]

Besides fucking junk mail and shit and garbage.

[Gidam]

You pull it out, you read it, you think about what the composing is. It's a real thoughtful thing, you know? Know, you know, text, your phone goes off, you take a hit on the volcano. You look at it, you're like, I'll answer it later. Next thing you know, four days goes by, everybody's complaining about it. What were you.

[Walt]

What were you doing yesterday? What you do yesterday? Friday.

[Gidam]

What did I do Friday?

[Q]

Buying Girl Scout cookies?

[Gidam]

No, it just worked. I just didn't work. Where'd you work from?

[Bry]

Home.

[Walt]

So there's no reason then, like on those days that you couldn't have come with us to check out this house?

[Gidam]

Well, nobody invited me.

[Walt]

Right, well, we assume that you're, like, you're really busy.

[Gidam]

Well, you know what they say about assume. So his house fucking burned down. I was there.

[Walt]

Yeah, yeah, but you could expect then much more.

[Bry]

We were having to pass him by.

[Gidam]

Just went home.

[Bry]

That's true.

[Walt]

You could expect a much more aggressive reach out to attend more things that are meaningful in Gidham's life. Life, you know.

[Bry]

Okay. Is Q welcome at the buffet?

[Walt]

Oh, yes.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Q]

He was welcome at the hospital too.

[Bry]

Yeah, that's true.

[Walt]

All right, so that's what we're. We're going to make an effort to be more.

[Gidam]

Yeah, Inclusive of me.

[Walt]

Yes, yes, inclusive of you. And maybe not a crazy amount, but just more meaningful moments.

[Gidam]

And how long do you think that translates into empty garbage cans and cleaned

[Walt]

off offices quicker than you might imagine?

[Bry]

Like within a week, you think?

[Walt]

Quicker than you might imagine.

[Gidam]

All right, all right. Okay.

[Q]

The trash can does get emptied on Sundays.

[Walt]

If you recorded this on Sunday, you would not. You wouldn't have nothing to say. Get him, Q.

[Bry]

It was just a bright and early Monday morning. Yeah, no problem.

[Walt]

That would have been a clean can.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Q]

For your information, because I have to. I sort through it, I take out all the recycling and then everything else.

[Bry]

I know. Wow. Is that it for the other.

[Walt]

What was the urination?

[Gidam]

Yeah. Why'd you peeing on people?

[Q]

That's. Like I said, that wasn't.

[Walt]

Didn't you do that too, though?

[Bry]

I didn't do it. My cousin did, though.

[Walt]

Sean peed on people.

[Bry]

He pees? Yeah. He's pissed on people in the past with.

[Walt]

With their permission. No, just like from above.

[Bry]

When he was young. He did it once, I remember. Yeah. Like he was on stairs and he pissed down on some kid and then when he was at a party.

[Walt]

I thought you had. I thought you had a girl piss in your hand.

[Bry]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Walt]

So.

[Gidam]

Wow. That's different.

[Q]

Is it gotta pay for that.

[Walt]

It's still a Perversion.

[Bry]

Tried it out. Didn't like it.

[Gidam]

So judgmental about that sort of thing. You never know who's listening.

[Walt]

Well, it was. Well, it wasn't girls. It was in the boys room with kids. Get them.

[Bry]

Oh, it was?

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

It's not.

[Bry]

You let any girls piss on you?

[Q]

Nothing.

[Gidam]

I remember again.

[Q]

I really. I don't. I don't really don't remember it. So.

[Gidam]

Classroom behaviors. Here's another report. Sorry. See, I'll cut it.

[Bry]

I'll cut it.

[Gidam]

At school through numerous. Since September 1984, this examiner became Kiddum's difficulties at school through numerous conferences with the teacher. Classroom behaviors report. Classroom behaviors reported. All walking around room talking to and disturbing others. Okay. Loud noises went out his desk. At times angry when asked. I mean conform. You're describing an asshole runs. This is like. This is an asshole. This asshole's walking around the room talking, bothering everybody's fucking. Making loud noise at his desk. Yes. I'm gonna keep it down. He gets fucking angry. Yes. Him to line up after class. The guy fucking runs away. He rolls around on the floor while you're talking to him. He's looking at the other kids desk and handling their belongings. And he has some boys to hold out hands and urinate on them in the lavatory. Like you're. Like, this is an asshole.

[Bry]

I don't want this kid in my class.

[Walt]

Are you a latent homosexual?

[Q]

No.

[Walt]

Are you sure?

[Bry]

Regular homosexual.

[Walt]

We would still love.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Walt]

If that's the case. Because you're on boys. Is that like maybe or was it just convenient?

[Q]

I have no recollection of this incident. Yeah,

[Walt]

we would never hold it against you. It would be fine. We would never tease you about it.

[Gidam]

This is bullshit. Dude. Everything you're saying doesn't make sense. A chart with checks for good behavior. They gave him. They give him stickers for work completed and positive comments to get them were initiated by the teacher for brief periods of time.

[Bry]

See how much good it did?

[Gidam]

It didn't do any good. Some slight improvement has been noted from time to time. In the classroom. When Gideon is calm and attentive, he responds and participates appropriately. At other times he is disruptive, defiant and does not obey rules.

[Walt]

Where's the one about the love?

[Gidam]

Why doesn't he have to obey rules? Why doesn't he have to?

[Walt]

Because his brain is broken.

[Gidam]

Everybody's brain is broken. I don't want to follow the fucking rules. Does that mean I can't? That I just don't have to?

[Bry]

But you're just roll around on the

[Walt]

Floor a little bit, though.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Gidam]

He's capable of.

[Walt]

Well, I mean, he has a history of showing he's not, though.

[Gidam]

Why?

[Walt]

Documented by a doctor.

[Gidam]

Yeah, you are right. You are right.

[Walt]

Where's that one about where I gotta shower you at, love? Or did you just make that one up where it said,

[Q]

again, because of the staples, I couldn't really scan the document. So this is the only. The front page. And it messed up when I scanned it, so that's why there's only one page of it.

[Walt]

Well, you could. You can. I'm not just gonna throw my hands up, get him and be like, I can't do it. I'm going to. I'm gonna love you like you've never been loved.

[Gidam]

I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. Well, okay, I'm gonna try.

[Bry]

And love. Yeah. Like, you've. You've told.

[Walt]

And that starts with no more, then no more, like, no more, like, ganging up on him and.

[Bry]

Oh, come on.

[Walt]

Not really. Like. Like, we could tease him, like, playfully, but, like, sometimes it gets too far and we got to stop that.

[Bry]

Gotta handle with kid gloves, huh?

[Walt]

Not kid gloves. You know, like, I still think he likes to be one of the guys and kind of get his balls busted, but there's times where, like, you've taken it too far, Brian.

[Bry]

I'm sorry. I'll try to shower him with more love.

[Gidam]

Yeah. What is Brian's role in all this? Why is this all full on?

[Bry]

I'm an observer.

[Walt]

Well, you can't expect. Like, we just. This is what, Brian at the table.

[Bry]

I'm Project 2. Yeah.

[Walt]

He's like, yeah, that's. We get this working, then we'll get. We'll get. Go to Project 2.

[Bry]

I'll have to go look up my. My old form for my doctors and stuff. Teachers.

[Gidam]

Oh, all right.

[Walt]

So this is a new.

[Gidam]

Can we ask the audience for help on this? Can we ask the audience, the ants,

[Walt]

how could they help?

[Gidam]

Maybe they could shower, get them in love.

[Bry]

I think historically that hasn't been the case.

[Gidam]

I know, but we're all pulling together as a family.

[Walt]

I think if it was to happen organically, I think it would mean more. But I think if on our prodding, I think it won't be as impactful to get him to field because now you've asked the ants to do it. So then they're like, you know, I think if it had happened, gotta fake

[Gidam]

it till you make it.

[Walt]

But you know what? I think the love of the men in his life is gonna mean A lot more than some listener accolades.

[Q]

So.

[Gidam]

Yeah.

[Bry]

Yeah. What are you. What do you covet more again? I'm a man love or woman love?

[Q]

Just love in general.

[Bry]

Yeah.

[Walt]

It doesn't matter.

[Bry]

Doesn't matter, huh? All right.

[Walt]

He's. He doesn't see sex.

[Bry]

I bet.

[Gidam]

Is that true? Get him. You don't see sex.

[Walt]

He's almost an hermaphrodite. Right? You don't care about if it's.

[Q]

Tell him Steve Day.

[Bry]

Wow.

[Gidam]

Man. He wants a puppy. Oh, here we go.

[Bry]

Three wishes were $100, ten hundred puppies and a fur coat for me to be nice and warm. Fucking Cruella de Villa over here. He also said that Benji a teddy bear was his favorite toy. And I love him. When asked about his dreams, he said he did not dream. But when he goes to bed, he thinks about ghosts that might come into his bed after he goes to sleep. This sounds like sage. Sounds exactly like the shit sage.

[Gidam]

Oh, he also said he has no friends. That's sin.

[Walt]

But that is different.

[Q]

Keep going.

[Bry]

Oh, yeah. Reed. I don't know.

[Gidam]

I'm not mean. I like to run after girls and kiss them.

[Bry]

There you go. The one normal thing about him.

[Gidam]

It's sad to think you're not having friends. Get him. I don't like it.

[Walt]

But that is so different from a 6 year old. Get him. To now, though. Now you have more friends than you can shake a stick at. You got the yentas. You got us. You know, you don't have a thousand puppies, but you got Teddy.

[Q]

That's.

[Walt]

That's. He's more intense than a thousand puppies.

[Q]

Yes.

[Bry]

And I'm sure he got 100 bucks. Now we just got to get him that fur coat.

[Walt]

This Christmas. Someone's getting a fur coat coat. Look like you're going to look like Joe Namath. Q. You got you. You can put that in. Maybe see if you can secure us a fur coat for.

[Gidam]

I won't get a real fur coat. Yeah, I'll get him a faux.

[Walt]

Getting paint throwing on him.

[Gidam]

Yeah. Maybe for Christmas this year I'll get him a fo. A faux. A faux coat.

[Walt]

There you go, man. It's gonna be a different 2026 by the time 2026 ends. You're gonna be like, there's. I. I'm tired of getting so much love. You're gonna say yes. Can you guys please go back to busting my nuts? That's how bad it's gonna. Or how good it's gonna be.

[Gidam]

All right, I'm in. I'll try.

[Bry]

Me too. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll try.

[Walt]

Tell him, Steve. Dave.