Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #671: Q-pae

Episode Overview

This episode of "Tell 'Em Steve-Dave!" brings together Brian Quinn ("Q" of Impractical Jokers), Walt Flanagan, Bryan Johnson, and Get 'Em Steve-Dave for another irreverent roundtable full of rants, reflection, and ribbing. The hosts contemplate change, personal growth, and "cocoon phases" of life, all while weaving in stories of pets, fig trees, midlife crisis tattoos, and relentless debates over the cleanliness of their recording space. A new game, "Are You Cueless?," pits Quinn against Bryan in a challenge of street smarts and pop culture knowledge, and, as always, the show is rife with quotable moments, tangents, and self-deprecating humor.

Opening: Loss and Reflection [00:07–04:45]

• Walt shares the recent loss of his beloved dog, Socks, igniting a heartfelt discussion about pets and grieving.

  • "The only bad part of owning a pet is the end otherwise." – Bryan Johnson [02:17]
  • Walt reflects on giving Socks a more rewarding last few years after leaving his comic shop job.

• Q shares a personal ritual, planting a fig tree using ashes from his own pet, Benjamin, connecting it to family legacy and loss.

  • "When I was planting it, I was like, oh wow... here I am decades later doing this one, which is an offshoot of that. And there's a fun little continuity to that that I liked." – Brian Quinn [08:31]

Generational Change and “Cocoon” Phases [10:38–26:13]

• Q muses on midlife—turning 50, evolving identity and priorities, and “cocoon phases” of change.

  • "When did I make the switch to being the version of myself that I am now?" – Brian Quinn [11:32]
  • He discusses shifting from being work-obsessed (fireman, TV show, touring) to a slower, more deliberate phase.
  • "Maybe I just want to fucking plant fig trees. I don't know." [15:51]

• Walt and Bryan analyze their own transformative stages, including TV fame, addiction, and fatherhood.

  • "Becoming a dad had to be the most major cocoon of all...that one that changes you forever." – Walt Flanagan [19:21]
  • Bryan reflects that TV fame felt surreal and secondary to the ongoing podcast.

• The group debates whether growth is still possible as one ages, or if most "cocoons" are spent.

  • Walt suggests drastic late-life change is usually triggered by major or negative events.

Green Thumbs & Domestic Life [04:45–10:23, 27:00–32:32]

• Q’s newfound interest in gardening (fig trees and weed), funny failures digging holes, and sharing memories of Italian-family horticulture.

  • Tales of family traditions, like putting fish heads under fig trees and wrapping them for winter [05:56-06:13].

• Discussion of homegrown cannabis—and weed cultivation’s practical (and legal) aspects.

  • "I've been doing that for a few seasons. I grow like three or four plants a year." – Brian Quinn [09:16]

• Aside: Catnip and the perils of attracting more felines; the legalization of personal cannabis grows.

Game Segment: "Are Youe Cueless?" [42:12–67:55]

• Premise: Q and Bryan face off, answering questions outside their comfort zones (Q guesses prices of everyday items, Bryan navigates pop culture/personalities).

• Great banter and trash talk throughout, with Walt as quizmaster and Get ’Em keeping score.

  • Sample challenge: Price of eggs ("$2.49, and that's what everybody's fucking complaining about?" – Q, [45:32])
  • "You have to come within a dollar of the actual price." – Walt Flanagan [42:22]

• Highlight: The concept of being "cueless"—disconnected from everyday knowledge—becomes a persistent joke.

  • Notable quote: "You were in a sex club last week ... and Q, you are going to play for Donovan Barkman of Kentucky." [42:52–43:06]

• Bryan does surprisingly well with lucky pop culture guesses, netting a signed limited-edition Batman print for his listener.

  • "You're not cue list. ... I was like, oh my God." – Walt Flanagan [54:09]

Life, Change, and the Office Cleanliness Saga [67:55–114:03]

• The eternal "clean office" debate – a signature TESD motif.

  • Q presses to overhaul the studio before he'll bring celebrity guests: "I need a month of Josh approved office." [103:16]
  • Walt floats tactics from “leading with love” to “reverse psychology”—making the space even dirtier to motivate Get ’Em.
  • "Can we be filthier than him? ... Sink to his level." – Walt Flanagan [94:29–94:46]

• Get 'Em’s hoarding and inability to throw things away becomes a running joke—pizza boxes, receipts, dog hair, and mystery stains pile up.

  • Q: "The pizza boxes, natty daddies ... just sitting in the back." [106:34]
  • Walt: "We're gonna make a promise—no more five day old pizza box." [109:06]

• Psychological musings on why Get ’Em can’t change and whether it’s "disease" or "laziness."

  • "He's just not capable of doing it." – Walt Flanagan [112:41]

• The “deal”: If the space stays clean for a full month, Q promises to book a "caliber" guest like Danhausen or Brooke Shields.

  • "If he pulls that off, I will get... It has to be a caliber..." – Brian Quinn [104:10–104:15]

• Riff on using a psychiatrist, possible interventions, and jokingly comparing Get 'Em's attachment to garbage to genuine trauma.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On growth: “Maybe I just want to fucking plant fig trees, I don’t know.” – Brian Quinn [15:51]
• On old habits: “We had to move to public shaming. That hasn’t worked either.” – Walt Flanagan [91:39]
• On podcasting reality TV: “If we didn’t do Behind the Fake Counter...the TV show would seem like some sort of distant or fever dream.” – Bryan Johnson [21:12]
• On time passing: “When did I make the switch to the version of myself I am now?” – Brian Quinn [11:32]
• On office filth: “But the pizza boxes, how are you not getting... You could overlook perhaps the stain on the wall or the chocolate wrappers piled up in the corner... but the pizza boxes?” – Brian Quinn [111:14]

Notable Timestamps

• [00:07–04:45] — Walt’s story of Socks and pet loss
• [04:45–10:23] — Fig trees, family, and legacy
• [10:38–26:13] — “Cocoon phases” and life transitions
• [42:12–67:55] — Game: “Are You Cueless?”
• [67:55–114:03] — The Office Cleanliness Saga & Grand Guest Challenge
• [103:16] — Q sets terms for bringing in a celebrity guest
• [109:06] — Walt and Q’s “pizza box promise”

Tone & Language

True to Tell ‘Em Steve-Dave’s style, the tone leaps from comic absurdity to sincere existential reflection—sometimes in the same breath—with plenty of ribbing, confessions of weakness, and surreal hypotheticals. The language stays conversational, crass, and hilariously self-effacing.

Summary

Episode #671 spotlights the evolving lives, quirks, and frustrations of the TESD crew as much as any explicit topic. At heart, it’s about negotiating (and failing to negotiate) change—whether that means growing old, coping with loss, navigating friendships, or just cleaning up your damn pizza boxes. Through the new "Are you Cueless?" game, the hosts poke fun at their own disconnect from the "common man," but the episode’s lasting hooks are its willingness to be honest, be absurd, and, as always, keep the laughs flowing no matter how mundane or morbid the subject matter.

Final Challenge & Takeaway

If Get ‘Em can keep the office “Josh-level clean” from May 9th to June 9th, Q will book a proper celebrity guest—possibly even Danhausen or Brooke Shields—a wager symbolic of the show’s perpetual hope for growth, redemption, and a room that doesn’t smell like old pizza.