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Brian Quinn
I sent him a letter about jerking off into his own mouth. Yowza.
James Murray
Wow.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
When I touch my dick with my hand and jack off and it get warm and I'd be nutting all over the place. I'd be thinking of your wet warm.
Brian Quinn
Tell him, Steve. Dave.
James Murray
Feel trained.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
My life's essence.
James Murray
I feel like a rag that's just been like squeezed.
Brian Quinn
I gotta go to JFK after this.
James Murray
No. Why?
Brian Quinn
My daughter's coming in on a plane, so I gotta go get her. Oh. Why is that good?
James Murray
Jfk?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. I've never been there before that. Remember the traffic we were in just the other day?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That's what you're.
Brian Quinn
Let's go.
James Murray
Even at night you're getting coming and going when you go to jfk.
Brian Quinn
Even if it's that late at night.
James Murray
Dude, two in the morning. I will. I'll pay twice as much to fly into Newark than to fly into. I'd rather. I'll do anything not to go into jfk.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You're.
James Murray
You doing the Belt Parkway and it's traffic to it. And then when you get out, it's traffic all the way back to Staten Island.
Brian Quinn
It's just how long you take them and get there you think it's probably going to take.
James Murray
You put it this way, you'll probably get to the verrazano in about 45 minutes and then it'll probably take an hour for you to get the JFK from 13 miles or something like that. It's a nightmare.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Okay.
Brian Quinn
I. I was planning a two hour trip.
James Murray
Yeah, it sounds about right.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Okay, where's she coming from?
Brian Quinn
Dublin.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Get out of here. Really?
James Murray
Whoa.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
International traveler. Nice. That's cool. Anyway, hello and welcome to this week's recording.
James Murray
Yeah, yeah, you know, it'll be fine. You'll be fine.
Brian Quinn
Sorry, I never been to JFK though.
James Murray
Yeah, and then when you get to jfk, it's. It's just a hole. It's like a shitty. You're going to get so confused by like, where to go. No, I'll FaceTime with you. It's the worst.
Brian Quinn
Okay.
James Murray
I wish. I wish I had better news for you. All right, all right.
Brian Quinn
Well, she's coming in so late. I thought it would be okay.
James Murray
It's just JFK is. No matter what, it's always. What you'll do good on is Staten Island. Won't be bad that night. So you're getting away.
Brian Quinn
Okay.
James Murray
It's that one little Brooklyn spot of Brooklyn. See the yellow and the red. You go at 4am on a Sunday and that's still there.
Brian Quinn
What is everybody doing out here? Why doesn't anybody go home?
James Murray
It's because it's so twisty. It's so twisty. People don't know how to drive. And they.
Brian Quinn
That's me.
James Murray
Yeah. People in Brooklyn don't know how to fucking drive either. So don't worry about it, pal. You'll be fine. Brooklyn, they don't drive much so that when they get on the road, they don't know what they're doing. Anyway.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, we were just on the Bell Parkway a couple days ago on Memorial Day.
Brian Quinn
Yes.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Me and Walt, and we did a Patreon episode where we went to a guy's house in Long Island.
James Murray
Oh, my God.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, but it wasn't that bad. It was Memorial Day, so it was raining. Yeah.
James Murray
That's okay. Because Memorial Day in New York is an odd thing because there's so many transplant. Everybody goes home. So Manhattan is actually. Is not. Not empty, but it empties out emptier.
Brian Quinn
Oh, yeah.
James Murray
It's great. So that was actually good timing on your part.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. This guy. This is one of my favorite ones. We did A Bride Tries, where I go out and try a new hobby.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
And this one was. Was serial killers. The guy had a fuck ton of letters from serial killers.
James Murray
Holy shit.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Binder after binder after binder that he wrote to them. No, it was another guy. He acquired them. And there was another guy who had written to these serial killers over the
Brian Quinn
course of the Mount Rushmore of serial killers. Name a serial killer.
James Murray
I mean, Gacy, obviously.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Big time.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Many. He sent him a letter about jerking off into his own mouth.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
And he jerked off into his own
Brian 'Q' Quinn
mouth and drew a picture of it
Brian Quinn
three times a night. He bragged about how he could go three times into his own mouth. I'm not fucking with you.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, he's not.
Brian Quinn
And then he drew a diagram of how he does it.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Here's how you do it.
James Murray
Isn't he a big fat guy?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
He has to put his legs up against the wall. And when he lays down on his cottage. And then he could squirt it into his own mouth.
James Murray
Thank God he's locked up. These fucking maniacs. And the guards are like, here he goes again. He's jerking off into his mouth again.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Somebody's got to clean it up.
James Murray
What do you think he gets out of that? What did it say in the letter? What?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I don't know. I mean, you could ask the question, what does he get out of raping and killing men, too?
James Murray
Well, that. Well, the difference is this. Everybody knows that's fucked up. There are people who do this. You know what I mean? Like this subset of people. And I never like to kink shame. You know that. You know that?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
I think I.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
For nearly anything.
James Murray
If you're. If you're not hurting people, I don't care what you do. I just don't understand this one. Just jerk off into your own mouth. How do you even do it?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
He just, he was.
James Murray
Did you take a picture of the.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No, he didn't have it on camera.
Brian Quinn
We'll get you. We'll get you a screenshot.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
But it's like. Yeah. Like if you can imagine putting your. Was his back against the wall or. His legs are against the wall.
Brian Quinn
His legs are up against the wall.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
His legs are up against the wall.
James Murray
Okay.
Brian Quinn
And he's laying in his cot.
James Murray
Did he have a big fat belly?
Brian Quinn
Well, I'm sure in prison you lose that, you know, you lose that big beer gut. You don't have beer and everything.
James Murray
High protein diet. He's eating.
Brian Quinn
He was ripped keto. He had this little pen drawing a diagram of how he does it at the bottom of the letter, like how his legs are up against the. The. The prison wall and his back is in the cot. And then he put a little sticker of a clown next to it. Like he embraced the clown. Shit.
James Murray
Weird letter to write to someone.
Brian Quinn
Well, I mean, you're. You're a maniac.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
You know, the person's only writing to you because you're a serial killer.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
You are playing it up like, you know, like you're just embracing it.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You gotta run with it, right?
James Murray
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. But it's an odd thing.
Brian Quinn
And you want. And you want that person that you're writing back like you're writing to, to continue writing letters and sending you money for your comp. Like putting money into your account.
James Murray
Oh, is that what. Is that how they get that you get these guys, you put money into their account?
Brian Quinn
Yeah, yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
This guy was a. The guy who, who acquired all the letters and stuff was a prison guard. I think he was doing it on the down low. I don't think he used his prison guard connections, though. It didn't seem like that, right?
Brian Quinn
No. He lied and said he owned a Go Go bar and that's.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They would like, send pictures of the girls.
James Murray
Oh, yeah, of course. Right.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
And his wife was instrumental in writing too. I think she lured some of the guys in.
James Murray
So is it just letters or they have like. Oh, he had artworks and artwork.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They had some artwork.
James Murray
He had this, like a go painting.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
He had a pair of Dahmer's glasses he wouldn't stop talking about. We didn't get to see him, though, because they're alone.
James Murray
Right.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I think. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Dahmer's glasses that he was wearing when he got killed in jail. When he was murdered in jail by another inmate.
James Murray
Oh, yeah. Didn't get beaten with a broom handle or some like that.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, yeah. Or I thought it was a dumbbell, but maybe I'm wrong.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No, I thought it was a broom handle too. Like. Yeah. Broken off broom handle.
Brian Quinn
I bet you that guy who did that, though, thought he was going to be another household name.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Christopher Scarbo, you know?
Brian Quinn
Yeah. But he's not.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No, no.
Brian Quinn
You gotta know. You gotta have your. Your inside baseball knowledge to know who that guy was.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. That's not a name that rolls off anybody's tongue in America.
Brian Quinn
Night stalker stuff.
James Murray
Oh, yeah.
Brian Quinn
Son of Sam.
James Murray
Okay.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Hillside Strangler, one of them.
James Murray
What an odd thing to want in your house.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
He said he sold off most of the art. He said he had a fuck ton of art too, but he sold off most of that.
James Murray
I wonder if, like, I came here and somebody had sent into the office, they're like, q, happy birthday. And it was like a drawing of. Yeah, Elvis stuff is fun. Like, I use the Elvis stuff. But, like, it was.
Brian Quinn
Don't say that.
Walt Flanagan
Don't say that.
James Murray
It was.
Brian Quinn
We just cleaned this fucking place.
James Murray
Yeah. Don't.
Brian Quinn
Please. Get a P.O. box, motherfucker, and pimp it every week. Do not send Q any gifts. Well, how much did we pull out of here from.
James Murray
That's not on me. I didn't do it.
Brian Quinn
You get a P.O. box, though.
James Murray
Yeah, yeah, I'll get him. Check it every day. I'll get one here. That'll be one of his duties. But if somebody sent in, like, one of the clown paintings that Gacy did, I don't know that I would be like, I'm gonna hang this on my wall.
Brian Quinn
Why?
James Murray
I just don't want to celebrate the guy.
Brian Quinn
You think it's bad mojo?
James Murray
I think it's. I don't know. Yeah, maybe it's a little bad mojo, but also, like, fuck him. I don't want to give him wall space. Like, f. What am I saying to people? Like, hey, check this out. This was done, you know, fucking had the crawl space bodies. This was done by him.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Like, I think I'd be proud to say that.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. I think you have a. You. You don't need that, though, in your life, though, to, like, be what's a gorgacious, gregarious. You're very like, you could talk to people and you don't need that. But, like, some people are very reserved and they have people over at ease. They're like, hey, you know, when a conversation starters. Some people need conversation starters.
James Murray
I'm like, that's from Action comics in the 80s. That's great artwork. Original. Oh, look at this.
Walt Flanagan
You know, at one time he had 26 skulls under his house.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. But there is an insatiable desire for this kind of content and collectors out there.
James Murray
I get it. It's not like I don't get it. I do get it, but I wouldn't take part in it.
Brian Quinn
And Dr. D said this. Well, her husband set this all up for us. He knows the guy. And it was cool that Dr. D's husband is trying to parlay because he has. He's kind of, like, partnered with the guy with the collection. They're gonna try to, like, get it a TV show or a book deal or something. Print the letters and everything. And I was able to hook up Dr. D's husband John with Nichelle, and they've already had a phone call. Pow. Wow. And they are fucking both super excited about it. Yeah. About the potential of all this material being able to.
James Murray
Yeah, I get it.
Brian Quinn
Get it out there on the ID Channel and all the other places. All the usual suspects where don't lead
James Murray
with the letter of the guy jerking off into his mouth.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Are you crazy?
Walt Flanagan
That's Sweepsie right there.
Brian Quinn
He has audio tapes of them talking in jail.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Of the most famous serial killers. Like, so you talking about a lot of stuff that nobody even knows exists.
James Murray
Sure. And this guy's got him.
Brian Quinn
This guy's got it. And you know. You know, and it was like, I talked to Bron Nichelle, and he was like. He was. He was hyped up.
James Murray
I get it. You do, like a documentary type show about the. The letters of serial killers. It's pretty cool. I get it.
Brian Quinn
And the audio, too. In their own words.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
Yeah. Those are big.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
Are there any serial killers alive today?
Brian Quinn
Is Sam still alive?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Who? Son of Sam.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I think he may be the only. Of the. Of the Mount Rushmore.
James Murray
The Mount Rushmore guys.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
How old is he now? He's got to be.
Brian Quinn
Oh, he's up there. Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Probably like early 70s maybe, you know.
James Murray
Wow.
Brian Quinn
All right.
James Murray
I wonder if he watches Impractical Jokers in Prison.
Walt Flanagan
Etk.
Brian Quinn
Most definitely.
James Murray
A lot of people. We get letters from prison all the time.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Very recently. Just died recently.
Brian Quinn
I imagine that that is something that they put on the TV to keep the prisoners calm.
James Murray
Yeah, we've heard that a lot. They just shut up and they laugh when they watch it. So they air it all the time. I've gotten some weird letters from prison, but nobody.
Brian Quinn
What if they wrote you a letter and a guy was like, yeah, I jerk off. Mental mouth. Thinking of UQ after I watch an episode.
Walt Flanagan
Here's my P.O.
Brian Quinn
box. There's a Polaroid in there. I see you got a new P.O. box, Q. I hear you.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I don't want to risk sending this sensitive material to the studio.
James Murray
Yeah, no, I get it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
So you get letters from guys in prison.
James Murray
Mainly women in prison.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Mainly women.
James Murray
Well, we've gotten guys in prison, too. Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Some shorties, huh?
James Murray
I. Yeah. I don't. I haven't answered any.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No.
James Murray
I don't know. What am I gonna do?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
What was the. How do you return.
James Murray
I can't answer text half the time.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, speaking of, Tom wants me to tell you to return his text. He's. He was suggesting a wrestling podcast to you or something like that, and I think he was a little put off. But you didn't answer him.
James Murray
I mean, in the talking about Todd
Brian Quinn
Malachesky, he thinks he's got enough pole to get you to answer him. He's getting a little too big for his britches, I think.
James Murray
So that's why I didn't answer him. I was like, temerity. I never. No, Tom, if you're listening, in May, I've been. I think I was home 12 days in May.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
Yeah. I'm not spending my time answering.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Can't answer text on the road.
James Murray
I need a break. You. But yes, Tom, whatever you want.
Brian Quinn
Whatever you want. I'm not gonna do it. Just tell him. Just be. Just pull it. I want the band aid off. You're not gonna do it.
James Murray
Just gotta wait till after June or July.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Maybe even August 2027.
James Murray
It's hard. It's hard. When we're in production, I forget how much work it is.
Brian Quinn
I used to be able to tell people right to their face, no, I'm not going to do it.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
The more my circle got bigger, it
James Murray
has grown, it's obligations.
Brian Quinn
Then it feels a lot harder to be like, no, I don't want to do that.
James Murray
Well, especially because you like them so much and they're friends and they do so much for us. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
So it's hard for me to be
James Murray
like, that's why I don't want to do it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Wannabes?
Brian Quinn
No, no.
James Murray
That's why I just don't answer.
Brian Quinn
I gotta answer because then I need them.
James Murray
You need that, right? Yeah, that's true, I guess.
Walt Flanagan
I once found a treasure trove of prison letters at the flea market once.
Brian Quinn
Oh, yeah?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Anything?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Did you keep them?
Walt Flanagan
I lost them in the fire. I had a couple scanned.
Brian Quinn
Anything that made you go like. Well, there was words. Scanning. So what was the content about?
Walt Flanagan
It was like, you know how it was between a guy named Kari. I'm sorry, a girl named Kari. And a guy named Bronco Branco and, you know, it would turn sexual, usually towards the end.
James Murray
He texted me at 12. At noon yesterday. Did you finish book eight yet?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
He did.
James Murray
Wow.
Brian Quinn
Oh, that's not about a wrestling pod.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
This is what he texted to me.
Brian Quinn
Hold on. That's about dungeon crawler John, right?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Or Dan.
James Murray
Yeah, Carl read it. Loved it. All right, now I've answered.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Now please provide Q with a verbal thrashing. Next episode. Anyway, I'm returning text messages. I sent him one about doing a wrestling podcast and one about dungeon crawler Carl Crickets.
James Murray
Okay, hold on. I just answered the dungeon crawler Carl1.
Brian Quinn
All right, that's pretty good. That was only. That's only less than 24 hours and he's already getting his fucking panties all fucking in a bunch.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
When you know the guy for decades and it's still over 24 hours, then you can fucking complain.
James Murray
Okay, so the day that I had dental surgery, he texted me, this is early April. I was all. I was all whacked out. Hey, you had an idea for a Patreon show, but I wanted to run it before you.
Brian Quinn
Before.
James Murray
By you, before I talk to Walt about it, because you would be a part of it. Is it okay? Send you the idea for it now? Excuse me. Now, I did not answer that. It's true. But to be fair, I forgot I even got it. It wasn't like I ignored it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Once you skip it, you're like, I'll get to it later. And then more texts come in, yeah, you're done.
Walt Flanagan
I find sometimes thinking about how you're going to respond it, it kind of like makes you think that you actually sent it. Like. Like when you're kind of thinking of
James Murray
the response I had promised you. I wasn't thinking of response. I was literally like, I'll just get to this later. And then I don't know, because Brad just nailed it. I'm getting a lot of time. I just did A punishment. And I hated it. It was. It was like, I want to quit the show. And I'm getting texts from the crew. Was like, that was awesome. I think they know that I walked away being like, fuck this.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That sucks.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
If.
James Murray
When. When you. When you. When we have a new season, it's. They have me in a time machine. That's the punishment. So when you watch that punishment, mean time machine they made. It's a joke. They made a goofy fucking fake time machine. I had to step out, claim I was from the future and do stuff, and it was just brutal.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Brutal.
Brian Quinn
I thought you went to that place, you know, where they're working on. What's that big machine, Large hadron collider. Yeah.
James Murray
No, no. This was a cardboard box at that time machine written on the side of it.
Brian Quinn
Where's that house? That collider thing. Europe.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I thought maybe you guys did a punishment out there and.
James Murray
No.
Brian Quinn
Tried to travel back in time.
James Murray
No, no, no.
Brian Quinn
Brutal.
James Murray
Brutal punishment.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I like this letter that Gidham found. This is one of them. Anyway, this is a guy Branco Bronco to carry. I don't have a bunky, so you already know when I touch my dick with my hand and jack off and it get warm and I'd be nutting all over the place. I'd be thinking of your wet, warm pussy. Jesus, I need sex letter from you. So listen, when I go downstate, I hope you can come and see me, and that way I can kiss you and hug you and grab your ass and grab your pussy. Ooh, this must be written by Trump and let you rub against my dick so you know I love you. I keep telling Mary Beth that, and she's like, that's not love.
James Murray
Yes, it is.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, let me. Let me rub it up against your warm. I said.
James Murray
So this is a serial killer.
Walt Flanagan
No, no, this is. This is some of the letters I found.
Brian Quinn
Not personal letters. Yeah.
James Murray
You wrote his collection.
Walt Flanagan
No, no, I found them and I found a whole bunch of them at the flea market, code name Bronco.
James Murray
Oh, so he is in prison.
Walt Flanagan
They were both in prison. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Probably out.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, Out. They were not lookers.
Brian Quinn
Oh, you know what they look like?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, because you could look up because they were currently in prison at the time. So you could look up like on the inmate finder. Yeah, like when we found those pictures. Look like Kari was old.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
A little rough.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, a little rough. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
But yeah, man, you spend six months
James Murray
in state, then you'll be nothing.
Brian Quinn
It looks like car.
Walt Flanagan
You know, the front side explained that he just got bad news, and he got sentenced on the 18th in July to seven with 85%.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
So there's about four more years to hear. Jesus, are you gonna wait for me? Oh, my God. Like, that's all you have when you're in prison, right? Is somebody on the outside you're hoping that they're waiting for you?
James Murray
Books. Can you read books in prison?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Sure.
James Murray
Why don't people just read books?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, Andy Dufresne got a whole bunch of them.
James Murray
Yeah, he got out of prison for that. So this really is disappointing about this letter. Go back to the sex stuff is how fucking amateur hour this 2008 was. This dirty talk is, this is. You got all day to sit and think about this shit. This is what you're coming up with? There's no creativity there. I touch my dick with my hand and jack off it get warm and I'd be nutting all over the place.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Sometimes I shoot it into my own mouth.
James Murray
Wait a second. Who cleans prison cells?
Brian Quinn
I think. I think the inmate is responsible.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Kind of got to keep your own cell clean, right?
James Murray
So when he's nothing all over the place, he's the one that. He's the one that's cleaning that up.
Brian Quinn
That's why you put dude in your mouth, so you don't have to cle.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Later.
Brian Quinn
Two birds of one stone. Q, come on. Prison etiquette over here. And you got your bunk mate. You know, he doesn't want to have to, like, step over that or anything. So it's courteous to do it in your own mouth.
James Murray
Great handwriting, though. Great handwriting.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, the handwriting isn't bad.
Walt Flanagan
I only had the one side of the conversation because it was from her storage locker.
Brian Quinn
How much did you pay for them?
Walt Flanagan
Like, a dollar. Two dollars for the box. This was like, when I was looking for those pictures for you.
Brian Quinn
Yes.
Walt Flanagan
So, like, it was like, anything I found.
Brian Quinn
Let's make sure. Out there? Yeah. That's so weird, just to leave that without explaining.
Walt Flanagan
No, you put it out there looking for, like, horrific Halloween photos.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, photos.
Walt Flanagan
And then I found you the photos of the graduation from an autopsy school
Brian Quinn
in 1901 or something like that.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, wow.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. Yeah, I just found them again. I found them again around my shelf.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
My cousin was in construction, and he was working at a mental hospital up North Jersey somewhere. And he said when they went into the attic, he said it was just box after box after box of, like, records and people's like, you know, diagnosis and all that shit. And I was like, what'd you do with them, man. And he's like, I always threw them in the dumpster.
Walt Flanagan
No.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Holy shit.
Brian Quinn
Well, you'd be violating all sorts of laws, though, if you were to take them home and distribute them.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
So if it's just garbage, they're throwing it out. So it doesn't belong to anybody once
Walt Flanagan
it's garbage, I mean, it's a responsibility to properly dispose.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
And I would probably. I mean, it's not like he would publish them or anything.
Walt Flanagan
You could just put an alias there. Yeah, like patient X. Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. So Dr. D's husband is. Is doing the serial killer thing. And this guy was also a world champion Guinness book multiple. How many records did he hold in the Guinness Book?
Brian Quinn
Over 100.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Like, over a hundred records for knife throwing. And it was something that he just. His name is Throwdini. And he just. He said that he grabbed some knives and he just picked it up and he was a natural. Wow.
Brian Quinn
He was like. Bullseye.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. Like this mutant, latent mutant ability to hit a bullseye every time. And he had never. He picked it up at age 50, a knife, and then threw it and realized he had the skill.
James Murray
I wonder if he picked it up in, like, his 20s. Would he have been quicker even?
Brian Quinn
I don't know. He probably. He. He won world championships within nine months of picking up his first knife. Yeah.
James Murray
I'd never be that good at anything, let alone being able to be the best in the world in nine months.
Brian Quinn
I would say people would put you as one of the three best jokers. Jokers? I don't mean. I mean it in a way.
James Murray
Even that is one of three.
Brian Quinn
There's only three on the planet, though, who are.
James Murray
There's no one better than you.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
And are you counting the other countries that also have their iterations?
James Murray
I gotta hope I'm better than that.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, they are. They are cheap knockoffs.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They're not beloved. They're teemo.
Brian Quinn
Yeah,
James Murray
I would give it to him, too, at this point.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Official Fitz joker, practical joker. Yeah.
James Murray
He's been on so much, but even that, like, I'm still like a banana in a bunch. Like, nobody. Nobody's ever like. That's the place.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
There it goes. Throw Dini the wheel of death.
James Murray
I'll never be the Dini of anything. You know what I mean?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Right?
Walt Flanagan
What about the golly, No, I don't think.
Brian Quinn
Qdini.
James Murray
Yeah, but what does that mean?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Say Cudini.
Brian Quinn
Qdini.
James Murray
What am I good at?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
At least I got a name for this week's title.
Brian Quinn
What are you good at? What are you really good at right now. Let's list them.
Walt Flanagan
Pinball.
James Murray
I'm not good at pinball. That's the big thing about me. I love it so much. I play all the time. I'm terrible at it. I don't know. I'm a. It's. I think the best. The thing I do best is writing. And I don't get to do it. No, I. Nothing good at.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Great at the dini of nothing.
Brian Quinn
But what are you really good at? And then. And then just work and then focus every bit of your energy. I'm becoming great at it then. Meaning walking away from your life as you know it right now.
James Murray
I don't think anything. I don't think I have any skill that is, like.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That can be refined and hard.
Walt Flanagan
Are you a cat whisperer? Like, opposite of Caesar Milan?
James Murray
Look, I had a conversation with a guy the other day. Get him. And I said, like, the only time I feel useful on the planet is when I'm feeding outdoor creatures. I was like, that's it. I was like. But I. Wow. He threw it in the. He didn't even see where the girls were. That's impressive. But I don't throw dini. Why? What would you say that you are. I guess start with good. I mean. Yeah, you're good at your. The art. So you have a skill. I don't have that.
Brian Quinn
I think you do. I think you do. I think you just have to realize it, though. You're too humble.
James Murray
No, I think I'm a good writer. I think I'm. I think I'm a. I think if I focus on nothing but writing, I would be. I still don't think it'd be one of the best of all times.
Brian Quinn
It's such a competitive field, though, writing.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That's what I'm saying.
James Murray
Like, I don't.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. I mean, yeah, it would be kind of, like, ballsy for you to be, like, Qdeney, the best writer.
James Murray
That's what I'm saying. And I don't think I am. So it's like, I wouldn't even make the credit. So. But that's what I'm saying. I don't think there's anything like, even. Like, when I was a firefighter, I was like, yeah, I was a good firefighter. I don't think I was the greatest firefighter in the history.
Brian Quinn
You're the best. Kind of like, jester.
James Murray
Nah, you just. You're making up to make me feel good. Jester. What does that even mean for gesture?
Brian Quinn
Kind of like the modern day.
James Murray
I don't know.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You should put some bells on your head.
James Murray
All right. I'm fine. Believe me. They've done it in the advertising for the show. Yeah, no, I don't think.
Brian Quinn
Who's better than you guys, though.
James Murray
Yeah, but it's like, that's not really. Other people can do it. Like, I think if you go on YouTube, you'll find people who are doing it pretty great. Like, we just packaged it and sold it. Got other people to pay us for it.
Brian Quinn
But no one's paying to see them fill, you know, arenas.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, he's begging them to do another season, right?
James Murray
Yeah, but nobody. I'm not filling arenas like Brian Quinn.
Brian Quinn
You haven't tried it doesn't mean.
James Murray
Yeah, but I'm not doing it. You know what I'm saying? Like, people did arenas to see us together because they like the show. But. And I'm very proud of that. I love that. But I don't. I don't look that as like, that's a skill I have. I'm the arena dog, you know, I. I feel more grateful I was able to do it rather than like, I pulled it off.
Brian Quinn
But you're still one of only three, four people on the planet who are able to call themselves the greatest.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
The goat of the.
James Murray
Of the.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Of the.
Brian Quinn
On the planet.
James Murray
You think? Can the camera. We. We've unseated. Can the camera. We've unseated elephant.
Brian Quinn
Oh, my God. Yes, you have. Nobody. He couldn't fill up a college lecture hall.
James Murray
Yeah, but that doesn't matter. In 50 years, I'm not going to be able to fill up any. Any halls.
Walt Flanagan
Or.
Brian Quinn
I'm talking about. Even in the height of Kenneth Camera's popularity, he wasn't going to Madison Square Garden or. And fucking. What's that place? Where does Rockettes dance?
James Murray
Well, but I bet you if you added up all the people who have watched his show over the. I mean, this is when they got ratings in the 20 millions every episode, three stations. But that's what I'm saying. Like, we, we don't do that. Like we have. I. Look, I'm not trying to downplay. I know we have a very enviable place in it. But I, I wouldn't say. I wouldn't even say like it's even. I mean, the whole show is just about us being ourselves. It's not even like what. He sound the best Brian Quinn. You could be sure. So. I don't know. I don't know.
Brian Quinn
At least you have. At least you have something to hang your hat on.
James Murray
Oh, yeah.
Brian Quinn
Us three. Where we'd be searching fucking from now till doomsday to find what we're. What we could be cutinis at somebody.
James Murray
You're on the best podcast of all time.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That's true.
Brian Quinn
I don't know about that. I feel like I got. What's it called, Podcasting block instead of fucking writer's block.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. POC block.
James Murray
We've been doing pretty good lately.
Brian Quinn
I mean, you know, I've been on the Patreon side of things. Oh, yeah?
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
You know, no. No ideas at all. For months on end. Yeah, I've been in a. Been in a. A fog. Creativity, Creatively.
James Murray
I don't like to hear that.
Brian Quinn
No, I mean, it's. It's. How many years has it been? How many years has it been? Like. Like what. What new spin can you put on?
James Murray
Always find stuff, though.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, that's. It's. Eventually the tube. The tube and the toothpaste doesn't come out of the tube no matter how far you squeeze it.
James Murray
So you want to. So that. Isn't that. Isn't that a sign to wrap it up? Do you want to. Is how you're looking to wrap it up?
Brian Quinn
I can't. I can't. I have. I have exorbitant bills that I have to. I've actually had to take on. I mean, I wasn't even gonna bring this up ever, but I've actually had to take on a second job. That's really what I've been focusing on for the longest time lately.
James Murray
What's the second job?
Brian Quinn
I've been doordashing.
James Murray
That can't be true.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
What?
James Murray
No, I swear to God, that can't be true. Is that true? Get him.
Brian Quinn
I didn't tell him. I have exorbitant bills that came up, and I like that. Good bills, though. Not like where I'm like, oh, my God, like, good things, but expensive.
James Murray
Like, how much money could you be making on doordash that I'm trying to
Brian Quinn
get, like a thousand a month.
James Murray
Wait a second.
Brian Quinn
I want to talk about it because
Brian 'Q' Quinn
it's hard to believe you, though, because you do troll people all the time.
James Murray
I just can't see you doing it.
Brian Quinn
I wasn't good at first.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I was horrible for a guy who doesn't like to drive. Doesn't like the smell of food.
Brian Quinn
Oh, yeah. That's one of the bad things. It's so bad, the smell.
James Murray
I mean. So $1,000 a month. I feel you can make up that difference somehow.
Brian Quinn
How? I told you right now. We're like, it's. It's like you said, it's. It's this many years in the. The world is in. Is in shit shape. People don't have disposable income. So if the number descriptions go down right. It's understandable. Like, you know, sure. Gas is through the roof.
James Murray
Oh, yeah.
Brian Quinn
So I. I get it. But.
James Murray
But why don't you do cons like I. I did.
Brian Quinn
I actually. I reached out to Ming and I was like, hey, you think that lady. What was her name?
Walt Flanagan
Juliet.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Juliet.
Brian Quinn
Juliet. You think she. She would book me something? He goes, yeah, I'll see. Never heard anything.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. He's been getting me into cons for the past four years. I've never gone to any of them. Yeah, but he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to this one.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, but read off some of those stats, bro. Look at that. Fucking stars you got. I'm a platinum fucking driver.
Walt Flanagan
100% completion rate, 71% acceptance rate.
James Murray
What is that?
Brian Quinn
That's got to get better, though, because, like, sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, I can't do it.
Walt Flanagan
Customer rating 5.0. 113 deliveries in the last 30 days.
James Murray
113 deliveries.
Walt Flanagan
Quality rate, 100 on time rate, 91%.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, that's because I drive too slow. My wife says I have to take. I either take my daugh. Plus. It's great, though, because I get to take Teddy too, every time. So it really works out because I'm using. Utilizing the time and I get to bring the dog with me.
James Murray
Right. So how does it work? You're in your living room.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
And your phone goes off and somebody says, I want fries.
Brian Quinn
You can't do it like that. No, no.
James Murray
How does it work?
Brian Quinn
So you have to join up.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And I was looking forward to really say, like. So, like, I said, a lot of big bills coming up, and we were looking for a way to try to bring. Make some extra cash on the side. And I was like, I can't quit a real job.
Walt Flanagan
Not.
Brian Quinn
I'm not saying this is not a real job. It's hard. I don't want to. Like, I'm doing, like, it's.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It's not as easy as holes who don't tip sometimes. That kind of shit too.
Brian Quinn
Oh, sometimes, yeah. And if you don't accept them, though, then your rating goes down and then you fucking can't get other things. It's a long. But anyway, so I was like, well, if I go get a real job, yeah, who's gonna watch the Dog. Because my wife's working.
James Murray
Mm.
Brian Quinn
My daughter is working. My other daughter doesn't live at home. So I'm like, teddy will be home all alone. So I was like, I'll just do this and I'll bring Teddy with me. And I bring him every run I'm ever on. He's there.
James Murray
That's nice.
Brian Quinn
It's nice. And. But I found out I can't do it by myself. I got to take my daughter or my wife because otherwise I can't.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Can't see the.
Brian Quinn
I can't see the signs. I can't. Like, the phone talks. It doesn't. Sometimes it doesn't talk. Sometimes it does. Sometimes, like, I get there and I don't even know where the I'm at. It's crazy. There's been some. I want to do like a show about it too, maybe, where I, like, I bring a different person with me every night.
Walt Flanagan
Taxi Cab Confessions.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, that's pretty funny because I've had some crazy. Not crazy, but some humorous run ins we've been in. I had to go to Aldi and buy like 30 fucking items. And maybe 10 of them. I knew what they were. Have you ever heard of scrapple? Yeah, you've heard of scrap. Explain what scrapple is.
Walt Flanagan
Oh, it is Philadelphia, Pennsylvania's answer to a breakfast meat.
Brian Quinn
It is brains and fucking beaks.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
And
Walt Flanagan
it's not legally brains. Not legally beaks, because you can't put those in food. But yeah, it is like fat and skin and stuff like that.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
So wait a second. So you're doordashing, but you go to a sometimes regular grocery store Sometimes.
Brian Quinn
Well, sometimes you have to, if you accept it, you go shop for somebody.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, like an Instacart type thing.
Brian Quinn
I don't know what that is, but they say, like on my phone, it'll say, I need to pick up these 16 items in Aldi and you have. You have 30 minutes to do it. Super.
Walt Flanagan
I could sweep.
Brian Quinn
Exactly. So. So I tried to do this one by myself. I actually had to stop me. Like, I called my wife. I was like, you got to come. I said, you got to come here. I said, I can't do it. I can't find any of this shit. Nobody will help me. Like, nobody, like, in the store would help me fucking find it.
James Murray
And this is at night or during the day.
Brian Quinn
It was in the middle of the
James Murray
afternoon, middle of the afternoon.
Brian Quinn
And it was on a Sunday. So she came down. I was fucking like three hours late with the order because I couldn't find it. And it is so hard when you don't know. You realize how little you know where things are in a grocery store until you're forced to go try to find it.
James Murray
Scrapple.
Brian Quinn
It took us so long to find scrapple.
James Murray
Scrapple.
Brian Quinn
We're like, is it a board game? Is it.
Walt Flanagan
I would have guessed it would have been about, like, the deli meats. Deli meats or sausage.
Brian Quinn
It was by. Yes, it was by bacon and sausage. And I was like, so bring Ken
James Murray
him around with you. He knows what the scrapple is.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It's not enough that he's with him all day. I was with him all night, too. Him and Teddy and. Get them all in the front seat.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. And then. And then the fucking. And then, like, the sad thing is when somebody recognizes you.
James Murray
Has that happened?
Brian Quinn
Oh, yeah. That's so brutal.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I recognized the door dasher one time when he came to my house, and he just, like, looked down and was like.
Brian Quinn
Then you get a. And then, like, if you recognize and they talk to you, and then, like, 10 minutes later, you get a. You get a bigger tip out of pity.
James Murray
Yeah, it's rough.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. Like, you were on. Weren't you on tv?
Brian Quinn
Yeah, that's what somebody said one time, and I was like, well, I'm not on TV anymore, bro.
James Murray
Now I can't complain about my job. This sucks.
Walt Flanagan
Hell, wasn't there somebody from the Cosby show who's bagging groceries in New Jersey?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, yeah, yeah. He was working at a. Oh, yeah, Trader Joe's.
Brian Quinn
Trader Joe's guy from Cosby show, right?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
And they tried to shame him, and then people like, yeah, I remember that.
James Murray
Yeah. It was like, you. The guy's working. I don't care what he's doing. Wow. Yeah. I think. I think you do one con a month, buddy, and you. You. You've made all this go away.
Brian Quinn
I actually tried to hook up with a New Jersey con because I'm like, I don't want to travel. And so the lady got back to me, and she was like, what we can offer you is a free table and lunch. It's a very small con. And I understood it wasn't going to be big bucks, but I was like, well, maybe I can make, like, in one day what I'm making in a week doing this. And we do pretty well. It wasn't the case, though.
Walt Flanagan
We did pretty well with the 8x10s and some of the cars.
Brian Quinn
That was a huge con.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
This is a VFW in Tom's River. That I. Because I don't feel like driving to another state and everything. So I was like, I'll do. Maybe I'll try local ones. Right, well, you gotta split it.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
It doesn't work
James Murray
between 9 to 5. Whatever you ask him to do, he's doing. You want me to see about. I mean, there's like Cherry Hill Horror Con. There's like, stuff like that. I know people like.
Brian Quinn
That's why I thought. That's why I thought the inlet Ming was. Would work out. But he never got back to me. He said he would look into it. That was weeks ago.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
He could. That's the thing. Like, if. If me, you and him went to a con, we could make more money than. If it's just him, I'm sure.
James Murray
Yeah. You know, but remember these guys, they're
Brian Quinn
back and looking for money the most.
Walt Flanagan
The top three comic book men to do cons.
James Murray
You gotta travel is the problem.
Brian Quinn
Right. And that. That's why this feels like. It's like I was just talking about it. I was like, it's ideal. No one's lording over me. No one telling me what to do. I could bring the dog.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I go with my daughter. You know, it's spending time with her, I go. Then when she's not around, I go with Deb.
Walt Flanagan
So if you could train Teddy to bring the food.
Brian Quinn
Have I thought about that? I was like. I was like, how fucking adorable is that it? Fucking Internet fucking craze. If he brings the bag and puts it down. My daughter was like, you cannot do that, because some people do not want their dog being. I mean, their food handled by a dog.
James Murray
Who are these people?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They don't.
James Murray
Wow. I'm surprised. I mean, I. I swear you haven't brought it up yet.
Brian Quinn
Oh, well, I mean, I. Well, it's. It's not like I said, I knew what the reaction b. I saw your face.
James Murray
Well, I did. I couldn't tell if you were telling the truth because I was running numbers in my head. I'm like, I know what this guy makes. Like.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, but, like, they're like. It's good things. Like, they're. They're positive things that have just come up that are, like, super expensive, though. And I'll tell you, there's a certain aspect to it, but I would have
James Murray
done a con with you. I'll do something like that with you.
Walt Flanagan
Call up Tom Server right now.
James Murray
I will in a heartbeat. And it's not like I won't answer. You know what I mean?
Brian Quinn
I think that is so Sweet. And so. But, you know, I get you on the wrong day. You're like, you're coming home from, like, today, and you're like, we got to go to a Buffalo.
James Murray
Never.
Brian Quinn
Tomorrow. Let's go.
James Murray
They don't plan cons like that. No, I. I would be. It would be an honor to. I. I would. I would love to do something like that. Absolutely.
Brian Quinn
But as a t. Like, as a tsd, as a guest. The three guys from TSD is appearing at a comic con.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We can make money doing that.
James Murray
Yeah. I think we'll go to a booth. I'll do that with you guys.
Brian Quinn
Okay.
James Murray
100%.
Walt Flanagan
You're, like, all times.
Brian Quinn
All right.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I'll talk to Ming, too. I can even email Juliet. I'll be like, hey, here's a blast from the past. I know you didn't like me, and I was drugged out the whole time.
James Murray
I would totally do that.
Brian Quinn
But there's a level of kind of like. I don't know if it's dopamine, but there's a level of, like, when you find it and you get the. And you start to see. It's almost like playing a video game.
Walt Flanagan
Oh, yeah. That's how they do it.
Brian Quinn
Right?
Walt Flanagan
That's what they do.
Brian Quinn
And there's, like, you're. And you get your. And you're. You're growing your power, your energy. As you see it go up, and you're like. It's like a weird kind of fulfillment chasing the dragon. Right. And you're not. And you get that in a way where you don't have to think of it like, it's mindless. I don't have to come up with anything. I'm just like, oh, that's where I got to go. That's what I got to do. Boom, boom, boom. And it feels. And then you do it, and it's like. And it says, complete it. And you see the money raise, like,
James Murray
go up, but you wouldn't do, like, a live. Tell them, Steve.
Walt Flanagan
Dave.
Brian Quinn
It's easier to do this, but it's not as much money, though.
James Murray
That's what I'm saying. If we did four shows a year, all this goes away.
Brian Quinn
I don't know if it goes away. I don't know.
James Murray
I think we could figure out something.
Brian Quinn
I don't think you're making it seem like I'm like, oh, this is horrible.
James Murray
I'm not saying that.
Brian Quinn
It's actually not bad.
James Murray
I never judge anybody, what they got to do for money. I just. You. I. I didn't know if you were being honest at first, I was like, I couldn't tell what you have the time.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. Because, like, you know, I'll just pull it back even more. It's like, you know, they're. We're paying for school starting up soon.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And it's fucking crazy. What it is. I don't want my daughter here. I'm sure she doesn't listen to Tom cv, but I would never want her to think that, like, you know, like.
James Murray
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Like, you know, I don't want her to feel guilty of her going to school, but, like, that's.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Well, does she think you're doing it for fun, though? Like, why does she think.
Brian Quinn
She was like, what are you doing this for? And I was like, just shits and giggles. Why am I gonna sor.
James Murray
Deliver to make.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Come on, Teddy.
James Murray
I. I would be. I. I would never be.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You're. You're.
James Murray
You're not Tom and Jimmy the hair guy, bro. I'll answer you. We'll go. We'll go. I. I would be happy to do something like that. Like, 100%, man.
Brian Quinn
Okay. Yeah, we'll see what the con. If the con welcomes.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Three podcasters.
James Murray
Why not? We'll do. I could talk know Fatone. He. It's not his company, but he's, like, invested in some company that books cons.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, really?
James Murray
Yeah. So you just reach out to Fatoni. He's asked me to do it over the years to do cons and stuff like that. I always say I say no to everything. I'm like, I don't want to do anything else. He would be elated if I text him. I was like, hey, me and the talent. See, Dave boys are thinking, like, getting into doing some.
Brian Quinn
Where do we got to go, though?
James Murray
That's the thing. I'm sure you could do things within driving distance. I'll drive you and I'll fly. You know what I mean? I'll meet you in Maryland.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Pittsburgh. Like, Pittsburgh. We did great.
James Murray
Yeah, I would. I would totally do that. Let's. Let's. I mean, look, if you want to do the doordash, do the doordash.
Brian Quinn
No, I would do. I mean, believe me, I've looked into cons, because I'm like, I probably make it quicker at a con.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Sure.
James Murray
Yeah, I think so.
Brian Quinn
Then this way. But, yeah, I don't know. But like I said, I did look into it with Ming, but he didn't get back. And I'm saying, I'm not bashing Ming. I'm just saying sure. He's got his own.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, you son of a bitch.
Brian Quinn
He's had his own gig to worry about. He can't worry about. Yeah, I designed you a combat. But it's so bizarre when you go, though. It's like. Because you go from. You can be going to the biggest mansion in New Jersey and the next one is to like, trailer park with trailer park. Yeah, it is shot like I would 10 out of 10 times. I'd rather go to the trailer park people there are so much nicer, and they're just like, cooler. You. You. It is not a fucking stereotype to say that the fucking. The people who are rich are fucking assholes.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Really?
Brian Quinn
Yeah, without a doubt.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
What do you mean? Like, in what way? Yeah, they're cheaper, snobby. Oh, really? They give you.
Brian Quinn
Because you have to. You don't have to. You have to deal with them. Only if you're delivering alcohol.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, okay.
Brian Quinn
Otherwise you don't deal with them. You got to get an ID from them. So. And they could be so arrogant and dismissive and like, oh, my God. Like, well, your. Your ID's out of. It's expired. It's not gonna work. I can't leave it. They're like, well, I paid for it. You can't take it. And I'm like, I'm Wayne in my head. I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna leave it because I'm not gonna fucking argue, and I don't give a fuck. Take it then.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That's like, obviously 21.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, well, it's. Yeah, it's a. It's a. It's a girl. It was a lady and then her husband fucking sassies over, and he's like, what about my id? Like, all fucking hostile. And I'm like, well, you didn't place the order, did you? I don't know. I don't know if it'll work. If it works. Yeah. And he. It did work, though. But they're fucking entitlement, though, that. Because it. I. Because it wouldn't fucking clear it on the phone. Which mean if it doesn't clear, I'm not gonna get the fucking money for it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Right.
Brian Quinn
I wasn't just gonna be like, oh, hey, guys, I know it's a year, it's expired. I don't. I don't. It's. I'm so good. Yeah.
James Murray
Wow. So let me ask something. Do they know? Are you able to see the tip they give you before you deliver it?
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
So I fucking over tip these guys all the time. And I. I never get. I never get that paid back.
Brian Quinn
Well, you can't. You can't contact them once it's gone done. I can't like a thank you afterwards?
James Murray
No, that's not what I mean. But, like, I'll order from a restaurant, and then I'll be like, all right, let me. Let me fucking give this guy, like, 50% tip on this delivery or something like that. And he'll still drop fucking shit off at other people's houses before mine.
Brian Quinn
It's not his fault you are. You cannot deliver it to you first. It. The phone gives you a route that you must follow.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Is that it? Because that annoys the shit.
Brian Quinn
Because let's say you're. Let's say you're number three. Let's say you're number three. He doesn't even know it. Like, after he does number one. Okay, here's number two. Go to number two. Okay. Then he does number two. Okay, here's number three. Go to number three.
James Murray
So it's worth paying that $99 for express delivery because it bumps you up to the top.
Brian Quinn
I don't even know that existed on my end. I wouldn't even know that.
James Murray
Okay.
Brian Quinn
Because I'm not placing orders.
James Murray
I always yell like, I'm not paying them two extra bucks to grubhub or whatever. I'm like them. And then it's like, they get. It gets. And I will over tip, and then they. They deliver it elsewhere. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
It really. It really doesn't. Like, he's not, like, choosing or he or she is not choosing to do you a third.
James Murray
You're blowing my mind. Because I just always assume it's a pothead smoking weed, driving around.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Like, a lot of the guys.
James Murray
That's all I ever see.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. Razor sharp, sober. But all of us is going. Where is it, like, going so slow, people beeping at you.
James Murray
Well, if you're happy, I'm happy, buddy. But if you want to get out of it, let's brainstorm ways to.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
There's definitely ways to make money that you wouldn't have to do that. That we can make.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. Like I said, I'm not. It's not like I was like, I don't. Like, I hate this or dread this. Like, I said, it was spending time.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
You know, with Alicia, spending time with Deb, and the dog's always there.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That's pretty cool.
Brian Quinn
We plan it sometimes. Like, sometimes you plan it and it works out perfectly. You want to go to Stewart's and Matawan.
James Murray
Oh, yeah.
Brian Quinn
And you open up the app. And you're like. And you deliver something that's right. In Mattawan. And almost like they paid for your dinner to get there.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Nice.
James Murray
Wow.
Walt Flanagan
I mean, this is the one driver. You don't have to worry about eating your food.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
Do you have, like, a cooler that you put the food in so you don't have to smell it?
Brian Quinn
It's impossible not to smell it.
James Murray
Really?
Brian Quinn
Yeah. So this. This the Chipotle, it just smells like feet. And you just gotta, like, just fucking roll the window down and just be like, drive 100 miles an hour. Even though I don't. But you want to, though, because it smells so bad.
James Murray
All right. I mean, we'll brainstorm off the air.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We'll figure something out.
James Murray
Yeah. I never understood why we didn't do, like, even a show a year or something. Like a live show a year.
Brian Quinn
Because I hate it. Sure. I hate that. Being on stage and trying to, like, make someone laugh.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We did. All right.
Brian Quinn
I'm not saying yeah, but, like, I know it shows.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We did.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. But I hate that aspect, though, of, like, that. That feeling of, like, having to make someone laugh. That pressure.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We got a jester to do it.
James Murray
Fart around. It'll be all right. It's over in an hour.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
All right, well, you're about to make some money right here. All right, ready? This is two last. Two less deliveries you have to make.
Brian Quinn
No, no, no. I'm telling you, like, it's. It's. I know that. I'm sure everybody listening to is like, can't wrap their head around it. But it's not. It's not like, there's no dreading of doing it.
James Murray
I think people will be able to wrap their heads around it. Like, what?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I mean, you gotta pay for school.
James Murray
Yeah. He's gonna be like, he's got to earn money. This is the way he's doing it. We're like, no, no.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I didn't say they're gonna be out there.
Brian Quinn
They're not. I'm not saying wrap their head around.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No.
James Murray
Even the right of people have to be like, find this admirable.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I don't know. We'll see.
Brian Quinn
I don't know. We'll see. But I'm not really worried about that. It was more I was reluctant to even mention it to anybody because I'm like, that. Like, I said, that pity tip comes in. You're just like. Because my daughter is like, hey, that guy that you said recognize you just gave you $15. And I was like, oh, my God.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
He thinks I Need it.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. I was like, oh, God, he thinks
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I'm on hard times.
James Murray
Yeah. Wow.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, boy.
Brian Quinn
There's been times when I walked in, like. Like in Red bank, and you can't get a signal, so you can't. You can't fucking tell who you're supposed to pick up for because you. Once you get there, that's how you know you're getting. So that's the name you got to pick up. So I walked into places where I'm like, can I hook up? Can I get the WI FI password? And they're like, no. I'm like, well, I need to pick up. They're like, no, we don't give that out.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Does it seem like the restaurateurs don't really care for the doordash?
Brian Quinn
Drivers do not like them.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Brian Quinn
They don't treat them like customers. They don't treat them like partners, which is basically what they are.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I think they make so little on the deliveries that they're sending out that
Brian Quinn
they resist, but there's an animosity.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It's just. They just don't do it then.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
I swear, you could just sit at Chip AAA for eight hours, and I think you can make great money.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, it's just.
Brian Quinn
It's just coming in. It's just, like, over and over and over and over and over. AAA could never say no to it. They're getting hundreds of orders an hour. It feels like.
James Murray
Wow, man. That's crazy.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Chipotle. Who knew?
James Murray
Who knew?
Brian Quinn
Had people invite me into their home.
James Murray
Oh, yeah, Sexy lady.
Brian Quinn
Not too sexy. But they're like, oh, do you need to use the bathroom? Do you want a cold drink?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, yeah. Older people.
Brian Quinn
No, they're, like, in their. In their 30s.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Okay.
James Murray
I'll give you 100 bucks and jerk off. It's growing out.
Brian Quinn
I'll be right out. We met the goal this week.
James Murray
What happens if you go to pick up Chipotle and the address, it's mz.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, no.
James Murray
On Broad street in Red bank, it
Brian Quinn
would just say Mike Z. Yeah, probably. And it was on Red Bank. I would send Alicia in. I go to. Well, like, I've got one at my. My regular pizza that I go to every single day.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And I will not go in and get it, because I'm like, it'll change the relationship forever if I go in there, and I'm, like, doing that. So I send Alicia in or I send Devin.
James Murray
Okay, so you would just send someone to the stash if they Ordered.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I would send Alicia. All right. Or at least, I mean, no. No way. I got a platinum fucking rating. I gotta fucking keep up.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Okay. All right. Old razors, dulling too fast, irritating your neck. Q, that's not fun. Me and you don't really shave that much. No, but I do shave a little bit. Shave my cheeks, shave my neck a little bit. When I do had to shave my head. Yeah, get him. Has to shave his head.
Brian Quinn
Now are you gonna keep up with it or are you gonna let it grow back in? I think it's growing back in, yeah.
Walt Flanagan
Well, it's because I've been waiting for my Harry's razor.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Well, here they are.
Walt Flanagan
Yep.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
All right. The other razors, they, they cost too much. $30 for eight refills. That is a scam. So what you want to do is you want to switch to Harry's plus because Harry's plus has an advanced pivoting system to reach every corner of your face. Refined blade tech for a closer, smoother shave, and a weighted metal handle which is Harry's heaviest handle ever for added control and comfort with Harry's Plush, you got barbershop quality shave with German engineered blades. Each blade is honed at three different angles to cut hair evenly at the root without tugging.
Brian Quinn
Okay.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Can't have that tugging, man. That's not fun.
James Murray
Yeah, it hurts.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Especially the fact shaving your nuts with it, which I guess you can do. I don't think Harry's is against it. Every cartridge includes a lubricating strip with aloe and vitamin E to calm skin while you shave. So maybe you want to use that your balls. And the best part about Harry's is how affordable it is. Because they own their own world class blade factory in Germany. There's no outsourcing, no middlemen in the same facilities, but perfecting blade making for over 100 years. And they control the entire process from steel to shelf. And they keep costs low. So Harry's has launched their most advanced razor ever. And it's still cheaper than the Gillette Fusion 5. And if you don't love your shave, Harry's will make it right. No questions asked. Risk free trial means there's zero downside to giving it a shot. For a limited time, our listeners can get the Harry's plus trial set for only $10 at Harrys.com Tesd this set includes the all new Harry's plus razor, plus one refined five blade cartridge, a two ounce foaming shave gel, and a travel cover to protect your blades on the go. Just head to Harrys.com Tesd to claim this offer. And after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please, that's all in caps. Support our show and tell them that we sent you. All right, now we got. Oh, Q. I couldn't help but notice that you were gazing at my rump with. With lust earlier.
James Murray
Great rump.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I think it's because of these perfect jeans.
James Murray
I hate when you sit down.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I know. I could tell you.
James Murray
Just wait a second. Hold on. I think there's some on the channel.
Brian Quinn
We're. We're hawking denim. Thank. Thank God we have moved up in the world.
James Murray
They sending us some denim.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We're selling some dungarees. Yeah, they're going to send you some jeans.
James Murray
Nice.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We got. They said you guys got. You guys got good jeans.
James Murray
Well, and we said, I don't stand by that.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
What a second. Wait a second. That sounds like white pride to me. Your khakis. They say the perfect jeans.
Brian Quinn
Oh, this company has attitude.
James Murray
Yeah, yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It's reverse sexism. All the ladies are watching the guys get warmed up. I know. Look at the girls are getting all turned on.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
The guys for some reason are doing lunges.
James Murray
I know.
Walt Flanagan
Because they can.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Because they can in the stretch jeans.
Brian Quinn
That's why I never wore jeans, because I can't do those lunges. That's why I always wear track pants. So I can lunge. Now you meet till I deliver food to people.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You lunge up their walk.
James Murray
I wonder if they did an ad like this where it's five guys on a bench and girls walking by in jeans. The guys were like, yowza. Wow. Like, I wonder if that would fly.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I'm going to go ahead and say no. I think we're in a place where guys can't admire a woman.
James Murray
Oh, they can.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Especially if they're leaving lunges.
James Murray
They just can't do it in like, with the eyes.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. They do it secretly. Yeah. There's a lot of copy on here, man. There's a lot of copy. Perfect jeans. Thought I was going to talk about them for 15 to 20 minutes.
James Murray
I love that they made this commercial. I'm a big fan of this.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
That these girls are horn dogging out over the guys. I love it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. Go to theperfectgene NYC if you wanna see the lunge guys.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Let's see. Okay. What's your biggest frustration with jeans? Do they usually feel like they're designed for someone else's body and mind?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
If so, are you constantly pulling them up or doing that awkward mid conversation readjustment that everyone pretends not to notice. Do you usually have to choose between jeans that fit your waist or your thighs?
Walt Flanagan
Yes.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, is that a problem? You got those big thighs, don't you?
Walt Flanagan
And the calves.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I've seen your calves lately. I know they are looking a little anemic. Yeah, that's not your fault. It's your health. But yeah, you really gotta get your work on that. Get them gym membership.
Walt Flanagan
I've been looking at that.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, yeah, looking a little.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Looking meek, shriveled and.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, it's, it's, it's. It was upsetting. Like when I was first started. Like when I switched over to shorts when I was doing physical therapy. Just like I kind of almost a little embarrassed.
Brian Quinn
And you looked in the mirror like you looked at your.
Walt Flanagan
Well, my one exercise I do, they're still.
Brian Quinn
You look. They're not. They're still big. But they used to be popping. Yeah. Used to look like Arnold had put his calves into yours.
Walt Flanagan
I was looking at a planet Fitness. But you know, they had like an annual fee now.
Brian Quinn
Why do you only focus on the calves? How come the arms and the. The neck? How come you don't? How come you let them? You neglect them and only do care?
Walt Flanagan
I think I was happy with the thickness of my neck. I mean, it took him eight hours to get into it.
Brian Quinn
I thought that's why it broke, because you weren't keeping it strong. I thought that's why things went south and you had to get the operation because you didn't have a strong neck. No, that's not true.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You couldn't keep his head up anymore
Walt Flanagan
or you're fucking like a baby
Brian Quinn
lying on it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Good.
James Murray
You know, you keep hearing about these celebrities that are starting Only Fans pages and making millions of dollars a week. What if. Yeah, what if you started an Only Fans?
Brian Quinn
What on earth would I push?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Feet.
Brian Quinn
Well, not mine.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Like all kinds of feet. Dude, there are all kinds of people out there.
James Murray
Well, do you have to do sex on Only Fans?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No. No fans for anything.
Brian Quinn
Look, I've already.
James Murray
Well, cameo. Why don't you do cameo?
Brian Quinn
I need this too. Now fucking join up and join my only fans.
James Murray
I disagree. I think people would be jazzed at showing up your only fans.
Brian Quinn
No way I'm doing that.
Walt Flanagan
While cleaning the pool.
James Murray
Just you and Teddy watching tv.
Walt Flanagan
I saw. I saw you and Teddy curled up on the couch the other day and I think that picture would sell.
Brian Quinn
I know, that was adorable. I saw you staring at us.
James Murray
But. But you could Do Cameo.
Brian Quinn
That's when I say happy Birthday. Yeah, I think. I think the. I think it'd be as anemic as get him's new fangled calves response.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Cameo's kind of dead at this point. I think Cameo's kind of dead at this point.
Brian Quinn
Really. I think a lot of people. That boat has sailed. Oh, wow.
Walt Flanagan
But perfect jeans.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Perfect jeans.
James Murray
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Do they actually feel as comfortable as sweatpants but still iconic and stylish? Walt will tell you once he tries them on. Did you immediately notice any differences compared to any other jeans? Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Any pain points ordering jeans Fit returns quality?
Brian Quinn
No. They have black jeans.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They got black jeans.
Brian Quinn
I can't wait. That's what I want.
James Murray
Black jeans.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They got athletic fit. Slim cut. Slim, thick fit.
James Murray
Even the boot cut looks slim fit.
Walt Flanagan
I like boot cuts.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Thick, thick.
Brian Quinn
I do not want skinny jeans, though.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You want the thick.
Brian Quinn
I gotta rep to get you the Bandit. I can't walk.
Walt Flanagan
Be walking Bandit. The black ones.
Brian Quinn
The band. That's why I'm the Bandit.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I'm gonna get you some bandits.
Brian Quinn
Teddy and the Bandit.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
All right, let's see.
Brian Quinn
Remember when acid washed black jeans were all the rage?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
All the rage. Yeah. And white jeans, too, for those stretch. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Not as. Not as. That was very short.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It was brief.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, yeah.
Walt Flanagan
Picture you delivered.
Brian Quinn
The black jeans were like that. Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
The black jeans were like.
Brian Quinn
Throw the bag like a bowling ball. Lands perfectly.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Let's see. How do I feel wearing them? When I first checked myself in the mirror, did I think, holy, I look good?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, I did.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
As a matter of fact.
Walt Flanagan
Mary Beth said it as well.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. She was like, holy shit, you look good. Sage said the same thing. I was like, thank you, everybody.
James Murray
Instantly.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Did I feel instantly put together without even trying or thinking about it, and did I look good in them? Yes, I did. Has anyone complimented you how we look at it? Yes, Marie Beth did.
Walt Flanagan
And Tate.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
All right, there's a lot of questions on here. They're emotional, reliable, paint point. Most guys don't go shopping for jeans because they want to. They go because something finally breaks. A blowout. A zipper that gives up a waistband that's been digging in for six months too long. And when they go, they grab the same brand. They've always bought in the same size. And they wear those jeans until they fall apart, too. Not because they love them, just because. That's the system. The stiffs are jean. Oh, my God, this is long. Come on. Perfect jeans. We don't. They're People are going to love them. They're just going to, they're going to go to your website, they're going to love them.
Brian Quinn
Is this is a one time fee or is this a one time purchase or is this a subscription of denim every month?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No, this is one time.
Brian Quinn
Okay, good.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, this is one time. That's great. I'm not going to read all this other stuff because we've talked about perfect jeans and we have let you know that they are the fucking jeans for you to buy. And if you are a guy, women will look at you is proof. We just looked on the Internet. The Internet doesn't lie. We saw a bunch of guys doing lunges and all kinds of chicks fucking freaking out over them. So let's see. Call to action. Our listeners get 15% off their first order plus free shipping at theperfectgene, dot NYC or Google the perfect gene and use code TESD15 for 15% off. That's TESD15 for 15 percent off at the perfect gene and dot NYC. All right, one more. This is, this is an easy one.
Brian Quinn
Tell me, right? We have to like book us like 10 commercials next, next episode.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, like Walt's sick of delivering. You better move your ass on these ads.
Brian Quinn
Let's do an all ad episode.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That would be cool.
Brian Quinn
That would be fun.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That would actually be pretty fun to do. That would be pretty fun. You're right. See guys, if your lady or your fella, very diverse bluechew, or that person that sends you an eggplant emoji at 2am is ready for better sex than you should be too, and that's where Bluechew comes in.
James Murray
That's.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They have been on a mission for years.
Walt Flanagan
That's one section, one ignore. 2:00am yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
How late do you have to deliver?
Brian Quinn
Like, what's the, oh, I won't go. Because then I, they start bringing me out to, to the fucking Badlands and I'm like, oh, really? Thank you.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
If you get any for the naval base, turn it down. I used when I delivered for Domino's. They were the cheapest fucking cunts ever. They would not give you a tip no matter how many times you go out there. Everybody was cheap.
Brian Quinn
I, I, I don't, I don't know. I'm not, I, I'm not going to disparage anybody in, in this climate with how much they tip or don't tip. It's, it's, but it's, it is what it is. You know, it's fucking, it's, it's my
Brian 'Q' Quinn
feeling Is if you can't tip, then don't fucking order.
Brian Quinn
Huh?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
If you can't tip, then don't fucking order. That's my feeling on it.
Brian Quinn
I think they. I think they have to tip, though, or else no one's gonna pick up the order, though.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, people just reject it.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Okay.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I thought some people didn't tip. Can they take it back?
Brian Quinn
I mean, there's some. I've turned. I mean, I've turned down $2. Like a $2 fee for two bucks. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. It's not even worth it.
James Murray
Do people tip in cash ever, or it's all through?
Brian Quinn
They say they're going to. And, like, this pissed my daughter off. One time, they say tip at door. And we got there, and it was a pretty fucking rough house. And I was thinking to myself, as I'm doing it, she's in the car. I'm like. I could see into their house, and I'm like, I'm not taking this tip. They need it more than I do. I am not taking this tip. But then they didn't answer the door, so they wouldn't come to the door and get the food. So then we have. My daughter calls. There's a thing you have to call because you need a PIN number from this person. Sometimes you need a PIN number because I guess they. They've reported that they didn't get their food.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It would burn too many times.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. So they. So then the driver has to get a PIN number to put in. And they answered, and they said that they were calling for another person, that they. That was their mother, and the mother can't get to the. Get to the door, so just leave it. And she gave us the pin. But my daughter was like, that was just a scam. That was a scam to deliver it for $2 and say they'll give you a tip because they didn't want to give the tip.
James Murray
Right.
Brian Quinn
Because she's done it more than she. She's done it more than I have. She. She trained me, she said. She said. She did say I wasn't built for it, though. Yeah, she said you panicked too much, she says, was there, like, a boot camp. Yeah.
Walt Flanagan
She's just screaming at you, blowing a whistle, fireworks going off.
Brian Quinn
She got. She got testy at times, and I'd
James Murray
be like, what's her rating?
Brian Quinn
She was platinum, too. But you can't keep it because if you don't deliver a certain amount of orders, like, if you don't do it like every day it changes. Like your 30 day window changes every day, Right. So if that go. Dips down under a certain amount, then you're not plaque platinum anymore. And she kind of got off like, she. She kind of got like, you know, I don't care if I got platinum once. I don't care anymore. But I was like, I want to keep it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I gotta tell you, like, when I used to Uber, you know that you're able to give the drivers ratings and they give you ratings, always tipped well. Was never a pain in the ass. I never threw up in the car or anything. And then one day I saw that my rating had dipped down to 4.8 and I was upset by that. I was like, which of these fucking cocksuckers gave me a fucking bad rating? Oh, yeah, I want to know. I want to know and ask them why I was like, I got a.
Brian Quinn
My rating is so high because nobody gives you a rating. Really. Only the people that gave me a rating are the people who knew me.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, really?
Brian Quinn
That's why I got a five point rating, because they. I know a guy that knew me, he was so cool. So I walked into Atlantic Highlands, you know that big building? There's only one big building. It's almost like a skyrise even.
James Murray
I know that one.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. Yeah. I walked into there and there was no numbers on the door, so I couldn't tell which apartment it was. So I thought that maybe the doors led to a hallway to where you would get to the real apartments.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
So I went to open the door and it was unlocked, but it wasn't a hallway. It was some guy's fucking apartment. As I walked into it, like, unannounced. And he was initially, you know, pretty upset, as he would be. But then he recognized me and he was like, holy. He goes, oh, I know comics. Comics, you do comic show, right? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, check out my collection.
James Murray
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
And he was the guy I was delivering to.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh.
Brian Quinn
Thankfully. And, you know, it could have went south to like go walking in on someone's house like that.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
He was cool, though. And he gave me a high rating, though, afterwards. But those high ratings are like. I said, nobody, nobody leaves a review because it's like, you got the food, it's hot. Yeah. No one's going to go back in and rate it, you know, because, I mean, what's the point, right?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, what do you care?
Brian Quinn
Yeah. If you're ordering it and nothing went wrong, you're not going to be like, give a five star rating. The only time you're going to see rating is when something went wrong. And as you can. Told you, I'm 100%.
Walt Flanagan
Yes.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Whatever you do, don't take a picture of a half nude guy. Did you hear that doordasher story with.
Brian Quinn
Oh, yes. Yeah, I deleted that because I did that once.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, did you?
Brian Quinn
No.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I'm like,
Brian Quinn
yeah, I saw that. She took a picture of him on his couch.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, he was like, his pants are pulled down. He's still in his underwear, but his pants are pulled down. And she's like, that's sexual assault. And took a picture.
Brian Quinn
And then now she's.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
She's being indicted.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, no, yeah. I don't take you. You actually. You can't even upload a picture like that though. I don't know if that was some, like some fake news going on there.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I don't think so. I mean, I saw. I saw the aftermath. She was like, in.
Brian Quinn
Maybe she took a picture of it, but she could not upload that probably to the app.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Why not? She took it with. No, not on the app. I think she took with her regular phone.
Brian Quinn
All right. I thought she. That was the picture she uploaded as like, here's proof of my delivery. A couch. It's not gonna get you your money.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Speaking of cocks and.
Brian Quinn
And that aren't flaccid. Ever.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
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Brian Quinn
I don't
Brian 'Q' Quinn
think we talked about one thing I wrote down, which is, oh, no.
James Murray
Q.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Not returning Tom's text. Most important thing, did you guys either. You guys watch the Crash on Netflix?
James Murray
Is this about a teenage girl who killed her boyfriend or something?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Killed her boyfriend? Another guy.
James Murray
I. I saw the trailer for it and I was like, that looks.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, it's crazy.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
It's a documentary or a biopic.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Documentary. Yeah. It's about an hour and a half. Like, I thought I knew the whole story because I had watched it like, you know, in some short form on some other channel.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
But this documentary, I was like, holy, this chick is up.
James Murray
She just drove into a house or something.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
To a building. Yeah, some kind of building at like 94 miles an hour, 100 miles an hour or something like that.
James Murray
I thought I had a bad one. I had girls hitting me with doors and shit like that when I was in the.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. Like, they did this forensic analysis of the car and everything. And they were like, yeah, she'd. Like, at no point did she touch the brakes. At no point did she slow down. And they said that it looked like they were. Somebody was trying to put it in neutral. Like they were with the gear shift. How they can tell all this stuff? I don't know. I guess the computer.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, that car. The car is almost like a black box now in some of these new cars.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, I think I saw the actual, like the post accident thing on like one of those body dash cam shows or. Body cam shows.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Right.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
The car's. It's like, you can't believe they had
Walt Flanagan
life flight somebody out of it. I remember.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, two. Two guys died and the girl survived. Of course, the driver, the crazy driver always survives. But I would recommend it. People ask me for recommendations on documentaries. I would say, yeah, Memorial Day, how'd you. How'd you do. What'd you do over Memorial Day? Q. Anything?
James Murray
It was like 40 degrees and raining. I sat inside and tried not to hang myself.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
We went to see the great throw.
Brian Quinn
Dino's Mansion is a Memorial Day, a big one for you to usually get out and barbecue and have people over.
James Murray
Yeah, sometimes. I don't have people over all the time, but I like being out there and like doing it. I have one of my outdoor cats is, I think, dead now, so I spent the weekend trying to catch him. I caught another cat that needed to get catch, so that cat's in the vet right now. But I think one of my. I think my favorite Outdoor Guy is
Walt Flanagan
dead is that the one with the abscess?
James Murray
Yeah, yeah. I saw him the next day and he was like walking, like unsteady and I tried to catch him but he disappeared and he hasn't been back. And usually he's there twice a day at my house, so I'm a little upset. So that was my. More. That was really kind of like a bummer because.
Brian Quinn
Have you heard the phrase herding cats?
James Murray
Yes.
Brian Quinn
Is it. Guess catching a cat kind of like hurting a cat, it's like very difficult to do.
James Murray
It's not. It's because they trust me because they see me every day and I feed them every day. So it's know it's. It's usually takes a day or two. Sometimes when they see the traps, they get nervous and then. But these are all spoiled. My outdoor cats are spoiled. So they, they, they. So what I did is I upgraded to raw fish like sardines, and they went nuts for it and caught a. Caught one right away. But unfortunately I think not. I think I lost. Not. Not. Yeah, it's a bummer. There's a bummer. He's been. He's been in that neighborhood since I got there.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Are you the crazy cat guy in your neighborhood?
James Murray
There are a few of us, a couple. But there's. There's no doubt. I have, we. I have cats that just live on my property now. They don't. They don't go anywhere else because they know how good they have it. But yeah, I lost one of my guys, I think so I was a little bummed out because of that. I was out in the rain trying to. He. I know where he went. I was. It was, it was annoying. But it's a bummer anyway. Sorry.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, I don't, I don't see many cats around where I live. Like there was one that used to come around a couple years ago, but like we don't have. Yeah, yeah, like feral cats or anything like that.
James Murray
Well, do you feed them or. No, no, that's the thing is like they, they know where to.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I figure the raccoons and would probably eat it all because we do have raccoons. We got foxes, we got raccoons coming
James Murray
at night and they finish up with the cats. Haven't eaten during the day.
Walt Flanagan
I've seen more lizards around this plaza than I've seen lizards. Stray cats. Yeah.
James Murray
Wow.
Walt Flanagan
It's a Mediterranean house gecko.
Brian Quinn
Now it has to be that because somebody brought one here to the plaza and species or two.
Walt Flanagan
I think someone told me there was a pet store that used to Be here.
Brian Quinn
Oh, so. Yes, that's right.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah. So I think they escaped and. Because we talked about it. So when we went to the exotic animal place, because I showed them a picture, she's like, oh, yeah, it's a Mediterranean house gecko.
James Murray
How the fuck do they survive the winters here?
Walt Flanagan
I think they, like, they, they. They come inside like they're in, like, the roof.
James Murray
Oh, wow. Wow.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You guys went to an exotic animal place?
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
Walt Flanagan
Oh, yeah.
Brian Quinn
Sunday drive.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Oh, wow. I went to a reptile show recently.
Brian Quinn
How was that?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
It was better than I thought it was going to be.
Brian Quinn
I didn't know you're into reptiles.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I'm not. Sage and Marybeth are very into reptiles. Like, Sage loves snakes. But they had like. I was like, it's going to be like this tiny little show. It was at the VFW in Poor Mama. So I'm like, okay, it'll be tight.
Brian Quinn
That is very tiny, right? That's a very tiny wall to wall.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Like, really as many people as they could fit in with their lizards and their snakes and their bugs and their. I mean, it was crazy. They had. They had a lizards for like 6, 500 bucks. Like, it wasn't. It wasn't.
Brian Quinn
Oh, they were selling this.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
They were selling it. Yeah. I thought it was just gonna. That's what I thought it was gonna be, like an exhibit where you could go. You could look at them and people like, hey, I'm so proud of my bow constrictor.
James Murray
Yeah, come look at it.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Come check it out.
Walt Flanagan
So now he's got a boa constrictor.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, but no, they had all kinds. All kinds of snakes and reptiles.
Brian Quinn
Nah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
No, because it's. Marybeth wants a bearded dragon.
Walt Flanagan
Okay.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I guess they're real friendly or something.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, Yeah. I had an ex who had one,
Brian 'Q' Quinn
but I'm like, you just got a cat, you got a dog. Now she's, like, fishing for another dog.
Brian Quinn
How big do these things get?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Not too big, I don't think. Right. Dragon picture up there.
Brian Quinn
And it probably has a very strict diet it has to adhere to. Right.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I imagine. Yeah. Probably crickets.
Brian Quinn
And you have to go into the pet store every. Every week to get crickets.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Go over to the petsmart. Yeah, get him. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, that's what they're holding.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
18 to 24 inches in length, snout to tail.
James Murray
But what do you do with a bearded. And I look, I love him like, I love any animal, but. But as a pet. What is it?
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I think it just hangs out with You.
James Murray
It just hangs out.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, it just sits there.
James Murray
Oh, look. This will say they will snuggle and fall asleep on you while they are. Reptiles lack the emotional capacity for mammalian infection. They enjoy your body.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I've been accused of that.
James Murray
Yeah. That's cool.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. Yeah. So it was. It was way cooler than I thought it was going to be. Like, I actually, like. I was like, I don't really feel like going to this. But they wanted to go, so I was like, it, I'll take them. And once I was there, I was like, all right, it's not that bad. It's like, I kind of was getting into reptiles a little.
James Murray
Tries reptiles.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah. Maybe Bry tries a bearded dragon.
Brian Quinn
Yeah.
James Murray
So how long do they live? Check them out, Keno. See if this thing's gonna.
Brian Quinn
So those. Those geckos that are at the airport plaza, they have to be the most inbred colony of lizards that have ever walked the planet, right?
Walt Flanagan
I'm not sure exactly how long they live, so. Yeah.
Brian Quinn
But probably that pet store has been gone for a long time.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I have no recollection.
Brian Quinn
Feels like. Like, if there's any plaza that would accept an inbred fucking colony of misfits, it's this. Like, no one tried. Like, nobody calls out an exterminator. We're just like, oh, that's weird. There's lizards and people are just like,
James Murray
oh, well, there used to be a hot store here.
Walt Flanagan
I've only ever seen him at night by the back door, so there's not that many people around here at that time of night to see them, so. And I've only. I've only seen him, like, two or three times.
Brian Quinn
You told me every time you see him, you told me.
Walt Flanagan
Yeah, because, like, the first time you think he.
Brian Quinn
Think no one believes you, right?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah. Yes, it was the first time like that. But then I managed to get a photo of one, and then I was like, okay, now I got the picture.
Brian Quinn
I gave you the rent check, right?
Walt Flanagan
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Okay. It's right here.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Let me see. I wanted to bring this up to queue, but it's on Instagram, so I have to use my phone.
James Murray
The gram.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
The gram I gotta use. Yeah, this comes up every once in a while. I believe Staten island borough Council votes 6 to 0 to secede from New York City. Yeah, again, they said they've been trying to do this since 1894.
James Murray
It's just never gonna happen.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, I think they depend too much on you guys for, like, tax revenue.
James Murray
And we stand out. He just gets by the City. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
But, like, they're saying Staten Islanders don't want to live under Mum Donnie's regime.
James Murray
Honestly, has anything changed? I forget he's the mayor. He hasn't really done anything that's like, not yet. I don't know. De Blasio, I fucking hated. I hated living under him as the mayor. Hated it. I thought everything he did was, like a fucking blunder and a misplay. I. I thought that at times that guy hated New York City.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
I wouldn't doubt it.
James Murray
Yeah. De Blasio. But I have not seen that yet from. But I also don't read. You know, I'm also not hip to the. To the news, but. But I don't think he likes Dan island very much.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, I don't like him. I know that much.
Walt Flanagan
I think it was the only borough that didn't get, like, that free daycare that, like, every other borough got.
James Murray
Oh, really? Yeah, we always get. Stan island always gets.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, I think they were pissed about, like, the immigrants coming in and, like, taking over, like, schools and, like, the public housing.
James Murray
Well, the whole city got over. Yeah. They went too far with it. And it was like. It was just like. I'd never seen a homeless person on Highland Bull on a Staten island my entire life. And then, like, you know, in the middle of all that stuff, suddenly they were like groups of four or five guys hanging out on street corners. But I haven't seen it. Like, I think they kind of did. They kind of cleaned it up. Plus, they probably came to state. I was like, the fuck are we? Everybody hates us and it takes an hour to get anywhere. They probably. They probably went somewhere else.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, they weren't psyched to be there either.
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Do you want to give a recommendation? I know you saw Mando.
James Murray
I saw, man. Though I seem to have enjoyed it more than most people.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, it seems like they're like. A lot of people are so bitter and almost like a. Like a bad relationship with stuff. Star wars that they can't accept. Maybe something new could come out and they don't have preconceived notions where they're immediately hated, like, right out of the gate.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Yeah, I feel that way.
Brian Quinn
I think Star wars stuff anymore, but.
James Murray
Well, they earned it. It's not like Star wars didn't earn it. I mean, it wasn't bad.
Brian Quinn
It wasn't good. It was just kind of like it's a popcorn movie if you got nothing to do.
James Murray
I was an adventure movie.
Brian Quinn
It opens, I think the opening sequence that you mentioned. Mentioned with the adats is cool.
James Murray
Yeah, the ad. That's cool. I. I get what people. Because I know people who hate it.
Brian Quinn
Yeah. It's their pre con. They're preconditioned to hate.
James Murray
Star Wars.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Is this theatrical.
Brian Quinn
They're like the battery battered wife syndrome with Star Wars. Like, it's gonna be woke. It's gonna be woke.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That would be my fear.
Brian Quinn
I'm like, calm down, Sunday. Jesus, take a chill.
James Murray
They. That Obi Wan show so hard. I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if nobody trusts them ever again. But I went and I had fun. I. I didn't realize people hated it until I came out and I was like, oh, it's fun. And people like, what? Yeah, we all been complaining about CGI for decades now. And these guys do it practically. And you guys are gonna. Complaining, like, I'm like, when? When are they gonna win? When will they win?
Brian Quinn
And they're. And like, for the. You guys who are like. Like, I don't want any messages. No message. No messages.
James Murray
They didn't even. They didn't even beat the father son drum in this. They're like. They just get along.
Brian Quinn
All right. You don't want a message. All right. It's just one big long fight scene.
James Murray
Yes.
Brian Quinn
Mando just beats ass from minute one to the end.
James Murray
Star Wars. That's what I want. Yeah. Maybe that's why I like that I don't learn anything where I wasn't talked down to the entire time.
Brian Quinn
I thought the score was excellent.
James Murray
Fantastic.
Brian Quinn
Who did the score?
James Murray
Same guy who did the TV show. His name's like, Jermaine Lusset or what?
Brian Quinn
I could, yeah. Recommend. Recommend getting the. The score.
James Murray
I've never seen, like, techno in Star
Brian Quinn
wars before, but it really reminded me a little John Carpenter esque at times.
James Murray
Yeah. The synths and all that stuff.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Ludwig.
James Murray
I wasn't that far off. Yeah, it was pretty dope.
Brian Quinn
What's it a, man? If your name is Ludwig, you just know you're gonna be a composer, right?
James Murray
Yeah.
Brian Quinn
Unless he changed it. Like, if you were. If you're a mom or dad and you name your kid Ludwig, you know, you're setting him up. He's gotta have to be.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
You're not gonna be a gas station attendant.
James Murray
I will say this. I was talking to my friend just yesterday. He came by the set when we were shooting. He came from the movie and he's like, fucking. Oh, I hated it. And I started talking to him at like, well, what about this, this and this? Then the end, I go, let me ask you something. It was three episodes of the TV show. Would you have liked those episodes? And he goes like, yeah. He goes, I think they would have been good episodes. I was like, all right, so there's your issue. Then he was like, yeah, But a tickets, 20 bucks, the popcorns, fucking 40, you know, everything. He goes, by the time I spend an 800 bucks on a movie, it better be fucking good. Like, it doesn't. I don't want to be just a TV show on the big screen. Whereas I was a little bit like, I don't know, it's just fun. Like, I just had fun.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, I agree with you.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
That's why I felt about the fight, the Deadwood movie, you know, the final Deadwood. I was like, it just feels like a long episode, not a movie, you
James Murray
know, I don't know.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
Eventually, yeah, whatever.
Brian Quinn
I did see people complaining, you know, it's like, well, Mando and Grogu, they're in the same spot at the end of the movie that they were at the beginning of the movie. There was no growth. And I'm like, man up your helmet, Grogu, grow.
James Murray
Yeah, I know this is what you read somewhere.
Brian Quinn
Yeah, people were just bitching that Grogu and Mando don't have any growth in the movie.
Brian 'Q' Quinn
What is their arc? Fuck off.
Brian Quinn
Tell them, Steve.
Release Date: May 31, 2026
Summary by AI Podcast Summarizer
This episode of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! ("Q-dini") is a classic, rollicking conversation between Brian Quinn (Q), Walt Flanagan, and James Murray (Murr) — occasionally featuring a few other voices from the world of Comic Book Men and Impractical Jokers. The crew swings between irreverent, sometimes shocking humor, and candid reflections on topics like serial killer memorabilia, collecting oddities, prison letters, their side hustles (including Q's surprising stint as a DoorDash driver), and the struggles of maintaining creative energy over a long-running show. Ads and light banter are present, but this summary focuses on their meandering yet fascinating main discussions.
This episode provides a full spectrum of what makes TESD unique: shocking true crime oddities, old friends commiserating about life's turns, the reality of supporting a family, and the ongoing quest to find meaning and pride outside of fleeting fame. For fans, it’s both hilarious and unexpectedly tender—a slice of real life behind the irreverence.