#680: Dash Forrest, Dash!

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! Episode #680: Dash Forrest, Dash!

Release Date: June 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

This week's "Tell 'Em Steve-Dave!" episode delivers a classic blend of riotous banter, nostalgia trips, and unfiltered personal stories. Walt, Bryan, Q, and Get 'Em Steve-Dave (frequent guest) kick things off with wild sports fandom talk, reflect on generational shifts, navigate the perils (and embarrassments) of DoorDash detailing, and offer unvarnished views on pop culture, movies, and personal life milestones—all with their signature irreverence and camaraderie. This episode is brimming with memorable "Dash Diaries," reflections on aging, and comedic takes on everything from sports riots to the legacy of Devo.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sports Fandom Mayhem and "Fever"

• Topic: NY Knicks fans' wild behavior after a playoff loss, including street violence and exorbitant ticket prices.
  • [04:09] B: "The Knicks lose a game and people are accosted in the streets having their jerseys torn off."
• Sal's attendance at a costly Knicks game and how celebrity status gets you perks (like easier access to tickets).
• Comparison of New York's "Knicks fever" to other sports towns, and Walt's desire for that same chaos in New Jersey for the Devils' championships.
  • [08:07] A: "I wanted to see New Jersey burn... I want to see some cars lit on fire. I want to see some people, you know, lose their teeth."
• Discussion of the pressure-cooker atmosphere in Manhattan compared to Jersey.
• Sarcasm and misunderstandings among listeners about sports celebrations and violence.

2. "Dash Diaries" — DoorDash Stories

First Segment:

• Walt covers two self-deprecating DoorDash tales.
  • [18:22] B: "I don't care if Walt wins the lottery; he cannot stop doordashing. People are loving these stories."
• Story 1: Embarrassing encounter at a chicken shop.
  • Walt describes inadvertently offending a staff member after another customer calls her "sexy," leading to awkwardness.
    • [20:06] A: "She was giving me a fucking stink eye. Like she knew I was perplexed by this."
    • [21:10] A: "I just think going in cold and not knowing the person, I think it's off-putting."
• Story 2: Alcohol delivery snafu.
  • Walt struggles with smartphone apps, takes ages making a delivery, accidentally lets a giant moth into a customer's house.
    • [26:37] A: "A moth has just flown into his house that is the size of a fucking baseball mitt... Now he has to get this massive moth out of his house because I was there for like a half hour."
• Observations about alcohol deliveries being most lucrative, and often involving strange or testy customer interactions.

Second Segment:

• Minor Debacle: Walt is accused by a customer of under-delivering on a $100 alcohol order.
  • Walt admits to not checking order contents and improvises his way out of customer complaints.
    • [32:42] A: "I went into, like, I was Martha Ray. I started going... Let's call [the store] up right now. I'm with you!"
• Discussion: On customers ordering tiny "shooter" bottles to enforce artificial drinking limits.
  • [34:29] A: "The amount of people who order these little tiny bottles of alcohol, I'm just like, what is the point of this?"

Potential Segment Concept:

• The group debates filming Walt's DoorDash runs as a Patreon video series.
  • Concerns about privacy, legal "gray areas," and practicality of covert filming.
    • [36:08] D: "Jersey is one party consent. As long as one party knows..."
    • [36:46] A: "I think it would be entertaining... some of the things and maybe somewhat interesting."
    • [38:19] C: "When you are at someone's home, I think there's an expectation of privacy, whether lawful or not."

Notable Quote:

• [19:20] A: "He goes, I'm here to pick up my order, sexy. He calls her sexy... I felt horrible because she was looking at me like she knew what I was thinking."

3. Reflections on Aging & Nostalgia

• Walt describes bringing his grandchild to the Keansburg amusement park, reliving his own childhood and reflecting on mortality.
  • [48:35] A: "I cannot believe, like, I have a grandkid and I brought him here to Keansburg. It was so, like, jarring and kind of like—maybe stop—time stood still for a millisecond."
• Discussion about seeing themselves visibly aging on TV, and how long-running TV fame lets fans observe hosts changing.
• Get 'Em shares memories of watching early Impractical Jokers during a hospital stay—mocked for looking so youthful ("we looked like babies" [49:55] C).

4. Pop Culture & Book Talk

Dungeon Crawler Carl:

• Book series is hyped and subsequently denounced by Bryan for being "too nerdy."
  • [39:38] B: "It's just too much dungeon... I'm not into it. Potions and magic... It's not my thing."
• Q defends it, loving its nerd factor and long format.
• Good-natured debate about the series and buying all the hardcovers before realizing dislike.

War of the Worlds "Twist Ending":

• Walt references a viral rumor about the Spielberg film's ending—Dakota Fanning's character dies and "imagines" her family's happy ending.
  • [79:18] A: "The end... is her. Spielberg says that was her imagining that before she died at the alien's hands."
• The crew debates the plausibility and evidence for this theory.

He-Man & Box Office Discussion:

• Q and Walt analyze the new He-Man movie, praising its fun, effects, and Idris Elba's casting but questioning its box office failure.
  • [73:32] A: "It's underperforming... I just think maybe it's a tough property, you know, like people don't really care."
• Digression into how blockbusters and nostalgia properties are failing to capture modern youth, who are consumed by "one-minute videos" and TikTok.
• [77:56] A: "I've heard 20-something-year-olds do not give a fuck about He-Man or MCU or Star Wars."

5. TV Nostalgia: Taxi & More

• Bryan is rediscovering "Taxi;" the group praises its cast and emotional episodes.
  • [62:07] A: "Jim is anonymously sending poems to Elaine to help her self-esteem... It's one of the greatest episodes in television history for me personally."
• Tangential references: Tony Danza's similarities to "Friends" character Joey, Jeff Conaway's burnout, and shifting TV comedy styles.
• The crew riffs on 70s/80s sitcom tropes and actors' fates (concluding with banter about old age and relationships).

6. Graduation & Family Milestones

• Sage is graduating high school after seventeen years of schooling; Bryan reflects on her journey and her plans.
  • [70:41] B: "She wants to work with her brother at the veterinarian's office... I always tell her she has to clean up the dog, and she's like, no, I don't want to."
• Reflections on parenting, adulthood, and young adults seeking direction.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On sports carnage:
  • [00:06] A: "I want to see some cars lit on fire. I want to see some people, you know, lose their teeth."
• On DoorDash awkwardness:
  • [21:10] A: "Like, I didn't say a word her either, but yet. Yeah, just my head kind of looking. Kind of like said a million things out loud..."
• On aging and legacy:
  • [48:19] A: "Yes. Like fucking WC Fields. Like an ancient W. My little chickadee. Here's a dollar. And that dollar, like, lasted me all day at Keansburg in 1974."
• On dry drowning:
  • [54:04] A: "I woke up to that. One of the kids at that installation... went home, didn't feel good... and he never woke up. They call it dry drowning."
• On DoorDash and deliveries:
  • [28:16] A: "I'm crouching on 300 deliveries. Probably got that by next [week]."

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:06] - [08:45]: Knicks playoff mayhem and sports fan violence in NYC.
• [17:29] - [37:36]: "Dash Diaries" — Walt’s DoorDash disasters and comic ideas for a filmed segment.
• [39:02] - [41:59]: Dungeon Crawler Carl book debate.
• [47:04] - [51:06]: Reflections on aging, Keansburg amusement park, generational legacy.
• [54:00] - [57:04]: Story about "dry drowning" and childhood tragedy at a waterpark.
• [62:07] - [65:20]: Emotional Taxi episode summary and TV nostalgia.
• [70:41] - [72:12]: Sage's high school completion and family reflections.
• [72:32] - [77:56]: He-Man movie critique, the end of the blockbuster era, and the rise of short-form content.
• [79:18] - [81:50]: War of the Worlds alternate ending theory discussion.

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Language & Tone

• The episode is candid, brutally honest, and loaded with dry wit, sarcasm, personal vulnerability, and blue-collar Jersey-flavored banter. The hosts oscillate between self-mockery and heartfelt reflection, never shying from controversial angles but always circling back to self-awareness.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! is the gang at their best: mixing the mundane with the absurd, delivering "slice of life" storytelling with a punch, and offering up pop culture takes that are equal parts nostalgic, cranky, and sincere. It's required listening for TSD fans, casual comedy podcast listeners, and anyone who’s ever bristled at changing times, missed a cultural reference, or wondered how their local DoorDasher sees the world.

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Transcript

[A]

I want to see some cars lit on fire. I want to see some people, you know, lose their teeth. Facts. It's important I tell a podcast facts. Yeah, you got to learn what real homoerotica is, okay?

[B]

Yeah, you better learn quick, otherwise you're going to be a victim of it.

[A]

Tell him, Steve Dave.

[B]

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of. Tell him Steve Dave. I'm here with bq.

[C]

He's thinking and bq.

[B]

You may not know this, but we're also sitting here with the 1980 John Birch Award for Science. Oh, Walt Flanagan.

[C]

Bird.

[A]

Bird.

[B]

Oh, John Bird. I thought it was John Birch Society by R D. By R D, huh?

[C]

How do you win such a prestigious award?

[A]

I guess you just have to be, you know, scientific.

[C]

It's not like a project or an art school fair or something like that?

[A]

No, just overall interest in science.

[B]

Did you have that?

[A]

No. Yeah. I don't know why. Why I was given that award. It was 10 bucks, I think.

[C]

Bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In 1970s money.

[A]

Yeah. 1979, I think it was.

[B]

You got a little statue too, right?

[A]

No, no statue. It was like a little. It's like a little letter. And then in the letter was $10. Yeah.

[C]

I got robbed once at a science fair.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. I made the volcano and I made a great volcano. And fucking Alan Lechuck won the science fair because he painted a bunch of nails and showed how rust doesn't affect painted. Like painted nails.

[A]

Painted metal.

[C]

He just had unpainted nails that he put in water and they got rusty. And then he painted a bunch of nails, put them in water, they didn't get rusty, and he taped them to a fucking board and explained about oxidization and he won the whole goddamn thing.

[A]

As. As an award winning Clarence B. Bird. Award winning. I do think the. Everybody does the volcano.

[C]

Nobody else did the volcano.

[A]

Pedestrian of science.

[C]

No good volcano. I had chicken wire.

[B]

An award winner, man.

[C]

I had the chicken wire with the fucking.

[A]

But everybody expects to see it.

[C]

But everybody. There's a reason why everybody expects to see it, because it's awesome. I have little palm trees, like, you know, really brightens up the. You took painted nails. It took him two seconds to do that.

[A]

Oxidation oxidization.

[C]

Alan, I know you're out there. You robbed me, son.

[B]

I really want to specify. Well, you're right, it is John Bird, because John Birch, who I'd heard of, is an American right wing political advocacy group, so.

[C]

Well, actually 1970. 1970 something. Right wing is like left wing these days.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I won an art competition in second grade.

[A]

Oh, yeah?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What'd you draw?

[D]

It was a. Like a vehicle. Like a space type vehicle. Like a tank. And the only reason I won was because I actually completed all the required things to write on the back of the. The piece of art.

[A]

Okay. You followed every rule to the T?

[D]

Yes, and no one else did. And that's the only reason. What'd you win? Stickers.

[A]

Stickers. Okay.

[B]

Stickers, huh?

[D]

That's exciting.

[B]

Yeah, that's what they give people to, like, keep them quiet, like stickers.

[C]

Wait, I think I got that wrong. I think it's the 1970s. Right wing is left wing these days. It's not 1970s. Right wing is, like, considered Nazi these days. That's what it was. Okay, that's what I got.

[B]

Yeah, that's what you got.

[C]

Okay, now I got it.

[B]

Now you got it. Well, sports fans, what the fuck? The Knicks lose a game and people are accosted in the streets having their jerseys torn off. I saw this video where, like, they were. They were at some park, these Knicks fans that are, like, upset that the Knicks lost a game. Not the series, though, right? Just the game.

[A]

Just a game.

[B]

Yeah. That's what I thought.

[C]

Sal was at that game and.

[B]

Oh, was he?

[C]

I think he was the one tearing troops.

[A]

How did he get into the game? Did he have to buy a ticket or was he giving a comp?

[C]

Well, once you sell out Madison Square Garden wall, they give you a special phone number you could just call.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, we got this. You got the silver ticket too, right?

[C]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Well, they were claiming that it may have been the most costly ticket to any sporting event in world history.

[C]

Oh, I. The tickets were going for, like, $200,000 per seat.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. That's why when Sal told me, he went. I was like, how the fuck did you go? He goes, no, I just call. I go. You just call? Apparently, Sal goes to Knicks games during the year, so they're used to getting that call from. I think if I called out of nowhere asking my first Knicks tickets, they'd be like, how about we get you tickets to Lionel Richie next month? But I think Casal goes like, they hooked him up. But he wasn't, like, sitting courtside or anything like that.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I was stunned when I heard that this would be the most, highest, costliest ticket in sports world history.

[B]

What reasoning did they give? Like, more than a Super Bowl?

[C]

More than, like, I'll tell you something, Knicks fever has gotten New York City in its, like, nothing I've ever Seen, like, Covid, like.

[A]

Yeah. That's why you got to give a pass to those people who attacked that spurs fan. Yeah, they had Nick's fever.

[C]

Yeah, they had Nick's fever, bro.

[A]

Chill out.

[B]

They should have been the tender. So really, I should be feeling sorry for them?

[A]

Really? You should just be.

[C]

Oh, my God, this guy's bleeding.

[A]

Contributing to their GoFundMe so they can get treatment.

[C]

I mean, this poor guy. Yeah, that's pretty up. That guy's bleeding.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know, you can't wear the opposing team's jersey. I. You can't do it.

[C]

I've worn a Yankee. A Yankee jersey to. In Boston.

[A]

Yeah. You got a security detail.

[C]

No, no, no. This was before. This is before. And like, I was prepared for what I got, which is like, you know, good natured harassment. Nobody was like, nobody's putting hands on me.

[B]

Right.

[C]

People are, like, screaming at me. People were, like, booing me. People were calling my mother names. But, like, I expected all that to put, like, start laying hands on people.

[B]

Like, the guy's bleeding from his nose. He looks like it's the finals. He looks dazed.

[A]

It's the finals, though. It's the most, like, again, like, the. The fever is. Is at an all time.

[C]

Fever is insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I've been watching the games and I never really.

[A]

It's worse than Ebola.

[C]

It is.

[B]

People are bleeding out of their asses.

[A]

Yeah. From other people beating them down.

[C]

Like, these are savages. They're attacking this guy.

[D]

That's the same guy from the first one.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This is crazy.

[C]

There's a bunch of people just punching and pushing hard. It's crazy. What's going on. I've never seen what's going on in New York Yankees winning. I remember the 90s. Yankees win the series. The city would go nuts. I've never seen anything like this. This is nuts.

[B]

Yeah. It's like they were in this park and like, these people were like, hey, let's tear this sign down. And this other guy stepped in, he's like, hey, man, this is our city. Like, let's not tear apart our city. It's like they lost. So what? Like, let's not destroy everything.

[C]

Let's not act like Philly fans.

[B]

They just converged on him.

[A]

You know what? I tell you what, though. I have seen my team, the Devils, win three championships in my lifetime. And I gotta say, you know, the kind of lackluster response from the community kind of bummed me out. And I wanted to see, like, you know, I wanted to see New Jersey burn started wailing on, you know, I want to see some cars lit on fire. I want to see some people, you know, lose their teeth and we're willing

[B]

to do any of it yourself.

[A]

Yeah, I want to say, I want to see some, some, some intensity. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, that's why, I mean, where was the devil's fever?

[C]

You're not going to get. Because Manhattan, you have to remember Manhattan is only like 4 miles wide and like 8 miles long. Like it's not a big island and you have millions of people on that island. So it's more of a pressure cooker situation.

[A]

I think you're being kind though. I think even if the devil's win in 20 post 2026, I still don't think you would see this kind of,

[C]

I don't think it's possible. I don't think there's enough, there's enough people in one area to create this sort of thing.

[A]

Talking about, like when you get, and you get in Newark, you know, I, I still.

[C]

What's the population of Newark as opposed

[B]

to huge hockey fans over there in Newark.

[A]

It's like, I just don't think even if the devil's win, I know it's, I'm not going to see, I'm not going to see any town, any cities burn for it. It's kind of like a bummer because all these other cities across the country, you know, like, they know how to celebrate.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's true. Like you can understand.

[A]

That's sarcasm, people.

[C]

Yeah, I got you.

[A]

Because a lot of TST listeners, some of them don't appreciate sarcasm.

[C]

I think those people don't want to understand sarcasm. That's not a joke.

[A]

That's gotta be real.

[C]

It's not a podcast. It's to be real. I'm so sick of it. Oh, boy.

[A]

Yeah, I, I, I got to admit, I thought the sports gods might take some retribution. The Knicks might pay for their, the way they're, how horribly their fans greatest comeback.

[C]

And I was wrong.

[A]

The sports gods are like, we want more mindless violence.

[C]

Well, they made a blood sacri. I guess in a way to the gods.

[A]

Yeah, that, that collapse last night by the spurs was, it was wild. It was history. Yeah, it was history. Making the collapse that they had last

[C]

night, it was fun watching the fans like go from completely dead to like up and screaming.

[A]

Man, there's a lot of celebrities who like the Knicks.

[D]

Yeah. They kept focusing on like Seinfeld was

[A]

there, Larry David was there, Ben Stiller.

[B]

Was there a lot of times Howard Stern is there.

[C]

Ben. Ben Stiller always goes. And Spike Lee always goes.

[A]

No, Spike Lee's always there. Spike Lee's been since the I recall since the 90s.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So he, they, they should have a seat at every game.

[B]

Michael, he's like an unofficial Nick almost at this point, right?

[D]

Yeah. Michael Che was blaming Colin Jost for the loss the other day because he was there. Yeah, he was there courtside.

[C]

Yeah. Sal was there. They lost. And then it took two hours to get out because of the Trump stuff. To get out of Madison's. Gregory says took two hours because of

[B]

the Trump stuff because they were just

[A]

stopping security detail to get Trump out of this.

[C]

So they locked down all walks around the game.

[B]

Gotcha.

[C]

You could only move in segments. So do you think that, like after

[A]

a loss shouldn't go because knowing what, what kind of inconvenience he's going to put on the city and, and on the fans, like, him going is just such a good.

[C]

I don't think he should have went.

[B]

Just watch it at home.

[C]

Just watch it in the White House. Watch it in the White House.

[A]

I imagine they got a big screen there. At least one.

[D]

They got a movie theater there.

[A]

I'm sarcasm.

[C]

Start talking about these guys. Jesus, Case.

[B]

Ex.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Actually, they have a movie.

[A]

Technically. Facts. I tell a podcast facts.

[C]

Oh, get him. But I, I, I, I get it. Like, I get why people exciting. It's. They've been crazy, crazy fun games, you

[A]

know, they haven't won since 73, I think.

[C]

Yeah. This is going to make me become a Brooklyn Nets fan, though.

[A]

Why? Because like the Apollo opposite. You don't want to be a Knicks fan because you don't want to jump on the bandwagon.

[C]

Yeah, I don't want to jump on the band.

[A]

I appreciate that. I, I respect that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You're no Ming Chen.

[C]

Yeah. But you know me. I'm also a. All the next have to do is be like, you want to come. Regular game? I'd be like, give me a Knicks

[B]

at if, if they, if they invited you, you know, like, hey, Sal's coming. Why don't you come too?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What would it take for you to wear a Spurs jersey?

[A]

You can't do that when you're invited.

[B]

You can't do it.

[C]

I think even New York City likes you. Practical jokers.

[B]

Like, in the middle, in the middle of it, you peel it off and there's a Knicks jersey underneath.

[D]

It's a punishment.

[C]

You can get away with That I think, like, if you deal with, like the. The few minutes of booing and you're doing.

[B]

You're doing like a heel turn kind of thing before you can rip your

[A]

spurs jersey off your sw. Like by, like. You ever see, like, you ever see a lizard swarmed by ants, like, in the jungle? You're like, hold, let me take my.

[C]

It's me.

[B]

We know.

[C]

Yeah. It would be a good punishment.

[B]

Yeah, that would be tough.

[C]

That would be tough. That would be tough. Yeah, that'd be a tough one.

[B]

You would have to do it in a place that isn't known, like, not in Philly or not in Boston, where, you know, people are known for beating other people.

[C]

I mean, I knew you were. Honestly, like, I. All my years going to Yankee Stadium and stuff like that, I. I saw a lot of verbal things back and forth, but so rarely did you see people swinging, just swinging over that. So it's like, I'm actually surprised, but I shouldn't be surprised in this day and age at that, that that's what it developed. And then it's like, there's two levels. Because you're like, why are you beating the fucking guy up? He. He's probably born in Texas. What are you fucking bothering this kid for? But then there's another level. I'm like, you fucking morons are filming this, right? Like, you fucking idiots. Like, what the fuck's the matter with you guys? I hope that. I hope some people get in trouble.

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[C]

Yeah,

[B]

yeah.

[C]

But go next. I'm excited. I'm happy for them. That Brunson guy is awesome.

[A]

I, you know, I watched it, like, but with one eye on a tv.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then only became, like, invested watching it towards, like, the last minute. Because I was like, oh, my God, they're gonna fucking blow this.

[C]

It was nuts how they didn't blow it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But his intent. I like the way he just stares at, like some guy will scream in his face and curse at him and he'll just stare at him. I like that sort of gunslinger, Old west mentality. Like, I let my leather do the talking. In this case, I let my basketball do the talking. I love it. It's fun.

[B]

I'm in a. I got an excavior. I know. I can tell. I can tell. I'm down with the case of it. I've been watching a little bit of basketball, but just in very short snippets. Wnba, as a matter of fact, this girl, Sophie Cunningham, Are you familiar with her?

[A]

No.

[B]

She's the best. She's really good. And on top of it, she loves to scrap with people. She liked to fend her teammates, so she's always fighting with people. She has a broken tooth and shit. It's pretty fun to watch because they're rough, man. They go after each other constantly. WNBA players. Yeah, it's really. They're like.

[A]

They don't police it.

[B]

They do, but, I mean, they just. It doesn't stop them. It just seems like every highlight I see, there's somebody, like, with a fucking super angry face on going after somebody else.

[C]

They're trying to get people to watch the game, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, they're like. They think the. That aspect is what's going to win people over. Like the. Because an NHL has tried to eradicate that from the game, you know, they've taken fighting out of the sport, I think, to the detriment of. Of. Of the fans. I think the fans want to see that, obviously, and I understand why they got to do it. Because you can't be like, we care about player safety and then. And then fucking be like. But we love to see a fucking. Somebody pound the shit out of somebody with their. With their fucking bare fist on their skull and then be like, you pulled

[B]

up over their head.

[A]

Yeah. It's hard to then say that you care about player safety if you allow fighting.

[B]

Q, you're gonna like her. It doesn't help that she's blonde and super hot.

[C]

No, it doesn't. Doesn't hurt at all.

[B]

Yeah, see, they're constantly. She's constantly mixing it up. What's that?

[C]

What team is she?

[B]

I can't remember which. Connecticut something or other, I believe. I can't remember what team she's on.

[C]

Yeah, I. I tell you, that's irrelevant to me. I went to that. The K. The Kansas City current game. Female soccer game. Did I tell you that? No, When I was there. It's fucking great. Are we. Are we getting into female sports, Dude? Is this possible? Is this our new. Our new frontier?

[A]

What made it great?

[C]

It was just fun. Like, they play, you know, they're good players. It was like soccer games always.

[A]

How many goals were scored?

[C]

Oh, I don't remember.

[B]

More than one?

[C]

I think so. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

There's an open bar in the owner's box, so I saw it after a while.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

I was like, this is fucking great. I got Kermit fever.

[A]

And the baseball game was on at the bar, too, so I was able. I love women's soccer. Yankees. Rod.

[B]

I know we've Been talking about doing cons, possibly doing a gramercy show. What I do have to say is, no matter what.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't care if Walt wins the lottery. He cannot stop doordashing. People are loving these stories. I have some stories. They're loving the stories, man.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

I have a couple.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I do want to be fair, you know, in my discussion of this. This profession, because last week I told some stories where. Where the customer was the. I thought in the wrong. And I have a couple instances where there's no doubt about it, I was in the wrong.

[D]

Do. Do we need, like, a name for this segment and like, a. Like a bumper, like, Dash Diaries.

[B]

I'll talk to J. Sarge. Yeah, I'll talk to JS Diaries.

[A]

Dash Forest.

[B]

Got a title for this week.

[A]

So I. I was dashing. One was with my daughter, one was with my wife, and the first one was. I had to go into, like, this. It's a. Not a. Not a chain restaurant, but it's a place that sells, like, chicken. A lot of chicken products and everything. And when I walked in, it wasn't ready yet. So the lady was like, it's not ready yet. You know, it'll be a few minutes politely, I'm sure. No, not that polite. But that's okay. You know, it's fine. I didn't care. So I start to go on my phone. I'm at the counter, and I'm kind of leaning on the counter. I'm looking at. I'm looking at my mail, you know, just surfing the net, just waiting. And some guy comes in, and he walks up to the counter, and he. And I'm kind of, like, right next to me, and he goes. And she goes, what can I do for you? He goes, I'm here to pick up my order. Sexy. He calls her sexy.

[B]

And what does this lady look like?

[A]

Well, that's part of the.

[B]

Part of it.

[A]

So. So when he said that, I immediately was like, I can't. I looked up from my phone and looked at him first. It's very. You know, you don't hear that in today's world. I looked at him, and I said. In my head, I'm like, well, I just talked to this lady, and I said what? I said, let me remind me. Let me. So I looked back to her to see if it was. If the phrase in my mind kind of like the label. I look back at her, and you know how a dog kind of, like, cocks his head? And then I cock my head. I look back at the Guy. And again, I'm not. Like, I didn't have. Like, I don't think I had a face on. But then I look back at her. When I look back at her again, she was giving me a fucking stink eye. Like she knew that I was perplexed by this.

[B]

Well, you think I'm not sexy.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

So she was. I felt so horrible because she was looking at me like she knew what I was thinking.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I felt like an inch high. Because I was like, they don't have to describe her. And I was like. Like this guy has just deemed the word sexy. Like now, forever, it means nothing. Yeah. And she goes, are you here? Are you door dashing here, right? And I was like, yeah. She goes, you can't stand here. This is for customers. I was like, all right. So I just moved over.

[B]

And she goes, am I not a customer?

[A]

I move over a little bit. I was like, all right. And she goes, you can't stand your ear. That's where I'm going to ring people up.

[B]

Oh, Jesus.

[A]

I was like, I wanted to be. I wanted to pop the balloon, a little tent. I was going to be like, wow, you are really sexy when you get ang. But I just was. I was like. I knew that would fly. So I was just like, you know what? I'm gonna wait outside and I'll come in a little bit and see if the order's ready. I felt horrible because I knew that she was offended by my. Just by me looking perplexed.

[C]

Your clear shock that anybody would consider sexually attractive.

[A]

It was bad. I. I really felt like there was. And there was no way I could recover.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I didn't say a word her either, but yet. Yeah, just my head kind of looking. Kind of like said a million things out loud that she was not. And I get it. Like, I mean, who am I to fucking look at somebody be like, you know, you're. You're not sexy. Why is he called you? Like, that's awful.

[B]

Well, come on.

[A]

I know, but I should have, like, had a little bit more self control and just kept my head looking at the phone, you know?

[B]

Well, you. I mean, you weren't looking at it at first because it's like, are you fucking serious, bro? Her.

[D]

You're.

[B]

You're. You're.

[A]

All I did was.

[B]

Sexy thing.

[A]

Yeah. I kind of just looked up, like, then I looked over at her and I was like. And I looked back at him and I looked at her and I was like. By that time I looked again, she was kind of staring at Me?

[D]

Well, did it get a better service?

[B]

What?

[D]

Did it get him better service?

[A]

Well, he was treated much nicer than I was.

[D]

Maybe, maybe in the future that's what

[B]

you should have said like hey sexy, order almost ready.

[A]

Can you, you, can you even say that to like somebody? Could you say that? I don't think I could ever walk in and be and use that kind of like language with anybody if you know someone. If you know. But yeah, like if you're complete strangers though.

[C]

Yeah, I, I, I would be hard pressed too.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It just feels but it, it's not even because of some guys can pull it off. What we just went through this, this recent decade.

[B]

Oh, you're talking to one of them.

[C]

I think my entire life, like I

[B]

don't think I would ever do it. This guy can do it. I don't think I've ever you cross over that bridge. Everybody's sweetheart heart, everybody's funny sweetheart.

[C]

I do call people that. It's true. I, I, I've tried to break myself of it but it's just too, and I stand island, it's Staten Island. And I've actually had like, I, I, I have been like, oh, thanks sweetheart. I'll be like, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to call you sweetheart. And I've had multiple be like, okay, I liked it.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So it's fine. But it is a little old school.

[B]

Yeah, it's old school Italian. What the hell?

[C]

What are you gonna do? What's up, sweetheart?

[D]

You've been going to the same pizza place for, is it safe to say years?

[A]

Oh my God, over 20 years.

[D]

So you know, you know all the people in there.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So would you be like, hey, handsome, what's up handsome?

[A]

Or sexy? No.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

More likely to say handsome. It's less offensive.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But even if you say handsome, it's really strange.

[B]

Right?

[C]

I actually do call a lot of people handsome.

[B]

Yeah. Q calls me handsome all the time.

[C]

Yeah, I do like strangers.

[A]

When you're taking your order, like you've got a male waiter, you're going to call them?

[C]

No, not like that. But I'll go see like al one of my camera operators. I'll be like, what's up handsome? How you doing today?

[A]

A little bit more understandable. You know the guy.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But I just think going in cold and not knowing the person, I think it's off putting.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And it's off putting for me. Like I would not be able to recover if, especially if I got a bad reaction to it.

[B]

I think they Hate you.

[A]

Now I would just be like, just throw up. I was just trying to be friendly.

[B]

They told me it would work. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming that that guy has been into that place as long as you've been into.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know it very well. Could. I wouldn't bet the form that it probably was just the way he rolls. They, like, he just rolls, and he just. That's a very friendly, very older guy or younger guy? Younger to me, but I wouldn't call him young. Right. Yeah. And my other other story was, again, I felt terrible because the guy was such a nice guy. It was me and my daughter. After midnight, we're delivering alcohol, and she stayed in the car with Ted. And I trying to find this apartment. And I finally find it, and I knock on the door. A guy comes out, and I cannot get. Because when you. When you have to scan his license and you have to have him sign your phone when you deliver alcohol. And I could not get the fucking pages to load. I guess it was bad Internet or whatever. And Alicia knows how to, like, I don't know, close out apps and close out pages. I don't know how to do it. She just does with her fingers. And, like, she's like, there's things on the phone that I'm like, I don't know how the you did that. Like, it's like, almost like David Copperfield's in the car with me making my phone do that I didn't realize it could ever do.

[C]

Pinball wizard over there.

[A]

So I tell the guy, and he's like, you know, it's. He's got his porch light on and the door open, and I'm telling him, and he's like, it's not working. And I was like, no. And we're just sitting there over and over again. It will not load. And finally I'm like, can I ask you a favor? I said, can I just go run to my car? I said, actually, you know, I'm. This is my daughter. I just. I said, my daughter is dash. I said, and I just. I just wanted to come up to the door because it's midnight and, you know, it's alcohol. I just wanted to do it. And this really paid him be like, oh, yeah, absolutely. He goes like, she's in the car. She can make this phone work. So I go back to the car. She finally gets it to fucking load. I go back and he goes to sign it. And as he's signing it, we both feel this thing Go by our face and, like, big. And you just feel like something hit us. And we look in his house. There's like a fucking. A moth has just flown into his house that is the size of a fucking baseball mitt. It's like a moth that should not be on this continent. It should only be on the fuck. Like, in the Amazon rainfall, escape from a lab. He just looking at it like it's

[C]

two women in a clam just singing nearby.

[D]

This movie.

[B]

And we.

[A]

He just looks at it kind of, like, defeated. He's like, oh. Like he's got this big moth in his house now. And I'm just like. I still can't get it to work. I'm like, you know what? I'm not gonna worry about it. I said, I'll figure it out. I said, I just didn't want to get the. Out of here because now he has to get this massive moth out of his. Only because I was there for, like, a half hour trying to get him to sign my phone. He had to deal now with fucking Mothra in his fucking living room, which would have fucking put me off, man. I would have been so fucking annoyed.

[B]

Right. Somebody leaves now, you gotta call, get him. Get the moth out of the house.

[A]

Yeah, but those are my two stories. Otherwise, it was uneventful.

[B]

How many runs did you make out of all them? Like, are you. Are you, like, getting up there now?

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Like, because when I order DoorDash, it's like 14,000, like, runs or dashes or whatever. It's like the numbers are crazy.

[A]

What do you mean? You get to look at what your driver's history is.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, really? They give those stats.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, almost like. Like an athlete stats.

[B]

I got to know how many stars you got. I got to know what kind of car you're driving.

[A]

I didn't realize that was like, I know your name. Yes. I know that. That really off. Puts me when people, like, especially with alcohol. Sick. Say my name as I'm coming up the driveway. They're like, hey, Walt. And I'm like, oh, I must know this person. Or they know me. But it's not. It's the case. They just have my name because of the.

[D]

Maybe change your name to sexy.

[A]

I can't. I can't change my name now. Yeah, I'm crouching on 300 deliveries. Probably got that by next.

[C]

That's no joke.

[B]

No, it's a lot.

[C]

She's.

[D]

Now, can you, like, scan your own id? Like, the person doesn't have id.

[A]

I Have thought of that when has gone. Like when I'm like, oh, why won't this work? Yeah, just leave and get it and get a reception somewhere else and scan my own. But I have a feeling since my. My. My license is already in the system, my account, they would. They would flag it as like, you're just scanning your own license. My. Borrow mine, because I'm gonna drive all the way here to get your license.

[D]

No, I'll send you a picture.

[A]

It won't work. We gotta scan the actual thing. Okay. I don't know. You know what? That's not true. I scanned someone's phone off their license off their phone. So, yeah, maybe.

[D]

All right, I'll send it to you later.

[A]

All right.

[D]

People believe I'm an alcoholic.

[B]

Yeah. They wouldn't be surprised

[C]

down this week.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's what it looked like.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, wow. Giant silk, flying eyeballs, giant silk moth. Live in New Jersey.

[A]

And that nasty feeling like. And you couldn't stop. I couldn't stop touching my face because it hit. Hit the side of my face. And the whole time I'm like, oh, my God, am I going to break out in a rash? Because I felt it hit me and then it hit the ground.

[C]

They have that powder on their wings too.

[A]

You could hear it hit the ground, like, hit the. His floor. It was like.

[C]

Like a body hitting the floor.

[A]

Like when. You know, when you got to squish it, it's going to leave a massive carcass. Trail of blood.

[B]

No easy way of getting antennas.

[A]

No.

[B]

Poor guy. He didn't leave you a bad review, did he?

[A]

No, he was. He was a super nice guy. Patient young guy too.

[B]

Yeah. It would be like. I have to say, if I'm buying alcohol at midnight, it means I want to keep drinking. I've been drinking and I want to keep drinking. So. Yeah, like a half hour at the door. I don't know that I'd be like. Especially there was so much alcohol.

[A]

I assumed, like I. I told le, we must be going to a kegger. I'm gone.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He ordered so much alcohol. I was surprised when I got there and it was just this one guy.

[B]

Guy, is it? Do a lot of people order alcohol?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Those would get you the most money, though.

[B]

Oh, those are the guys that tip the best.

[A]

Yeah, they tip the best alcohol.

[D]

Yeah. You've already started. You don't want a chance of dui.

[A]

So.

[D]

Yeah, just order it in makes and that you can. Is, you know, good.

[B]

Yeah. I see a lot of videos on HBO, on YouTube, where they don't make that decision. They drink. And then they're like, I'm going to go get more.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

There was one guy, he. Out in Matawan. I deliver. Even Deb, when I got to the car, she said, weren't you supposed to get more than this? It was just a can. The guy just gave me a can in the store, the liquor store. And I go, what do you mean? She goes, I thought when I looked at it before you walked in the store, it looked like there was like six things. I was like, I don't know. He just gave me this. And then Alicia was like, yeah, your part of your job is to make sure that you're getting what is on the phone. To me, I'm like, they gave it to me. This got to be it. You know, I'm not like.

[B]

Like, I can't tell you the number of I've thrown at home. I'm like, are these people. Why can't they look in the bag and make sure everything is there?

[A]

Because so many times I'm like, hey, it's not my.

[B]

It's like, it really isn't your job.

[A]

The guy, the liquor store gave me this. I sold the name I'm here for. He gives me one can. So. And Deb was like, well, maybe then she questioned herself, and she's like, well, maybe I. I guess it's right, because they would. They wouldn't have given you just. So I wind up getting there, and guy comes to the door, he has a cast on his leg, and he's, like, hobbling around, and I go, I need to see your license, signs it. I give him the can, and he goes, where's the rest of it? Oh, with attitude. Where's the rest of it? And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, this is all you have? I was like, that's all they gave me. And he goes, what? He goes. Like, it was like over $100 in order. He goes.

[B]

And I was like, it's $100 a cancer. I gotta go.

[A]

I was just like, I, I. I went into, like, I was a. You know, like, I was like, Martha Ray. Like, I started going, like, you know what I said? That idiot at the liquor store. I said. I go, he looked like he was stoned or something. Let's call him up right now. I said, because I go, I'm. I go, I'm with you. I said like, yeah, that's ridiculous. Like, you shouldn't be.

[C]

I'm your man.

[A]

I'll get you And I'll be like, hey, hey, this is what you gave me. Why. Why the did you. This guy up. You got to give him a refund. And he was like, all right. So he starts. He places the call. And I'm in the hallway, and he places the call. And then my phone rings. I go, hello?

[B]

He goes, oh, no.

[A]

You're, like, going, yeah, I suppose I was supposed to order. I go, yeah, you're just calling me. I said,

[B]

oh, God.

[A]

And he calls the liquor store, and then he's. No one picks up in the liquor store. And I'm like, you know what I said? Said total. Start bullshitting. You know what? I'm going to go outside right now. I said, I'm going to call doordash. I'm going to file a claim. I'm going to say, I'm going to get your money back right now. I get out to the car. I was like, oh, Deb, let's just go to store today. I'm not taking care of it. I already got the money. I go, fuck it. I go, it's up to this guy now to handle it. I go, I don't know what else I can do here. I just left. But I fed the guy a whole line of bullshit. I was like, I'm going to make sure. Yeah, this is ridiculous. He goes, I'm going to. Anything you need from me? I was like, I'm your guy. I'll make sure you get your money back. By the time I left, he. Thanks, bro. Thanks, bro. Gave me a fish pump.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Lady sexy.

[A]

I told Deb you were right. I was like. I was like, I got to start checking to make sure that they're giving me the right. Because that was a total up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But in my defense, though, that's what they gave me, though, you know, he gave me one can, and it was fucked up. People ordered these little, like, little bottles. Little fucking midget bottles of alcohol. Alcohol. Like 12 of them in a bag.

[B]

Is that so, like, each person can have their own or, like, why would you order it in that?

[D]

Yeah, Like, I. I think it makes you feel less like you're drinking a lot than if you're just doing a little shooter or if you want to pace yourself.

[A]

The amount of people who order these little tiny bottles of alcohol, I'm just like, what is the point of this?

[D]

Like, I'm only gonna have six of these.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Instead of the bottle where, like, I could have this little, you know, this much more. I understand it.

[A]

It's all a mind fuck. Then, like, you're just fooling yourself.

[D]

No, no, no. You're trying to enforce moderation. So it's like. That's like people said, no willpower.

[B]

So you.

[D]

Why do you. Why do you go every night and buy, you know, three cans of beer? And it's like, well, if I get more, I'm incentivized. You know, there's that.

[A]

You know what?

[D]

Maybe I'll have four tonight, but if I only have three, that's the only. That's all I can have.

[A]

I think I was thinking when you

[D]

hit that third one, you're not making the best decisions in life.

[A]

No. Yeah.

[D]

So you're like, yeah, I'll take that. I'll take that fourth one.

[A]

I was thinking about, though, doing a show. I don't know if it's insensitive, though. Is it insensitive to record these things?

[B]

The.

[A]

I bring a different TSD Time member with me every. And they. They're my co pilot because I need a co pilot to rock. I don't know if it's like. If it's insensitive or if it's like, you know, I don't know. I don't know what the right word.

[C]

I don't know, like, personal details.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, what about the people I deal with? Like, they don't know what I'm.

[D]

We could.

[B]

You could always just blur their faces.

[D]

Blur the faces.

[C]

Why would they be on it at all?

[D]

Well, because that's where some of the

[A]

humorous interactions come in now for a Patreon show.

[C]

Right. But it's not. But. But it's not like you get back into the car and then, like, explain what just happened. And in the moment, like, you want to.

[A]

Oh, I think the. I think the humor is like, when you. You get some real. You get some characters.

[D]

Since he's miked up, he would pick up what the person says, but you can modulate that voice, distort it.

[C]

It's on their private property.

[D]

Jersey is one party consultant consent. As long as one party knows.

[C]

On their private property.

[A]

I was gonna know about that. My camera guy. I was like, get out of the car. They go across the street, and they film it from across the street. And then you can hear, like, the interactions between me and my. My guest.

[B]

Yeah. If it's like, blurry, kind of fuzzy.

[C]

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I wouldn't be thrilled.

[A]

I would never. I would never use their name or anything.

[C]

Sure. But even showing their house on camera, I wouldn't be thrilled about that.

[D]

You could have a A camera in the car on your co pilot as you go into the delivery. Then you do, you just do the voiceover and just show them in the car. So that, that's how you can get, kind of get around that.

[A]

Because I think it would be entertaining some of the things and maybe somewhat interesting.

[C]

For sure.

[D]

I think we can make it work, you know.

[A]

I don't know. Yeah, I think I'm thinking about it, though. I don't like you says, though. I don't know if, like, people would be happy, though, to see, to see me come up, you know, if they noticed the cameraman across the street.

[D]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You don't, you don't record the house. You just record the car.

[C]

Somebody gave me those glasses that have a camera in them, and I, I just don't use them. If you want, I'll bring them in. You got it? I'll bring them in. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. So you could do with that. You know what I mean? And you, like, you go up to

[A]

the Blur and I just modularize their voice then.

[C]

Yeah, I, I, I, you know, I'll give you the glasses. You do what you want. I'll bring them in. I'll bring them in. They just sit on my desk. I never use, Love to use them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

All right, cool.

[B]

You wouldn't like it if your doordasher, like, kind of recorded you a little bit.

[C]

Well, just because it's on my private property.

[B]

Oh, sweetheart.

[C]

Yeah, I wouldn't.

[D]

But that's, it's an area that it's not, it's, it's almost like an easement because it's anywhere that like a postman can go or a census taker can go or somebody.

[C]

You've been to my house. Somebody goes down my driveway recording. I'm not like. Well, a census taker could do it.

[D]

What I'm saying is, I'm saying. Thing is, that's not considered like, trespassing

[A]

if, Yeah, I don't know if.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know if Most moral issue, I think.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

It's, it's a gray area.

[A]

Most people have the same apprehension. I know why you don't want anybody filming. Well, because it's your, your a celebrity. You don't want anybody know what your house looks like.

[C]

Even on the TV show. Like, we, we, we, we wouldn't film someone's private house. You know what I mean? Like, it's, you do public areas and public businesses and stuff where there's no expectation of Privacy when you are at someone's home, I think there's an expect expectation of privacy, whether lawful or not.

[A]

That.

[C]

That I think I would like to see respect, you know, but you could ask them.

[A]

I thought maybe you can go into the store. Is. Could be humorous.

[C]

That. That is. To me, that's a business. That's a public. Yeah, that's like a public thing. That's. That's different.

[A]

All right, I'll have to play. I have to develop it still.

[B]

Yeah, I like it. I like that idea.

[D]

Did. Did you finish Dungeon Carl Crawler yet?

[C]

Oh, I finished a week ago. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Yeah. Grand book.

[B]

Got a bone to pick with you about that book.

[C]

Go on. Oh, you know, am I about to meet the first person I've met that doesn't like Dungeon Crawler Carl, you're about

[B]

to meet on your word.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, fuck this. It sounds awesome. I'm buying all eight books. I'm going for it. That's. That's my summer. I'm just gonna read the entire series. I got about a third of the way into book four, and I'm like, I don't want to do this to myself anymore. Yeah, I can't do it to myself.

[A]

How many books did you read?

[B]

The first three. And then like, the first third of

[D]

book four is book four. The tangle.

[C]

Third is the tangle.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

What didn't you like about.

[B]

Just. It's just too much dungeon, like, reminds me too much of Dungeons and Dragons, and I'm not into it. And there's like all this stuff where they're like potions and magic and this and that, and I'm just like, it's not my thing. Like, as I'm reading it, I'm like, it's well written, and I can see why people like it, but it's just not my thing.

[C]

You're also bailing at the point where it kind of morphs into something else.

[B]

See, I. I heard that I was being mis misled from a private friend, a friend of mine.

[C]

Oh, go on. How are you being misled?

[B]

Well, this guy I know called. Well, let's call him Ex Sarge.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

He told me that it's the. All that stuff lasts well into, like, book seven, all the dungeons.

[C]

I mean, in terms of, like, I took a healing potion and felt okay. I mean, sure. But, like, that's. That doesn't seem like a big hurdle. I mean, you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. I think that I had just had too much already. It was too much.

[C]

All right, well, There you go.

[B]

And I saw the next four books and they're like, they look like telephone books. They're so thick.

[C]

You're disliking everything that I like about it. So I guess it's just not for you. I, I love a nice, thick, like, long book.

[A]

It's too nerdy.

[B]

Too nerdy. I think that might be it. I'm not so much of a nerd as Q is. Q is like a undercover nerd. Well, not even that. Not even people know. I've never had anything people know by now.

[C]

Wow. You, you are the every single person. And whatever. It's like, it's not for everybody, but everybody's been like, these books are great. Thanks for, for.

[D]

I'm surprised it wasn't the Tango because that, that was a little too much for me.

[C]

I think the Tangle is my favorite one. So funny. Like, I, I, I kind of digging it. I'm listening to the third one on audiobook now, and I love it.

[D]

Like, it was tough for me to picture in my head, like, all the different tracks and everything, but he said

[C]

in the beginning, in the very beginning, he's like, don't pay attention to that. You'll, you'll know what you need to know when it, when it's there.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It's so descriptive. Like, it's incredibly descriptive. Well, like I said, well written, but just not.

[C]

I thought it was a breezy, easy read.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So why'd you buy all the books before?

[B]

Because Q's never led me astray. Except for one other time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Odd Couple 2, part 2. Yeah, that's the only other.

[C]

But I made up for that with Deadwood.

[B]

Yeah, that's the only other time he's ever like, recommended.

[C]

Took me decades to live that one down.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Did you buy them hardcover?

[B]

Yeah, bought them all hardcover.

[C]

Well, at least you can resell him.

[B]

Yeah, I returned him to Amazon.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

I was like this.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

Yeah, send them back.

[C]

Oh, wow. All right.

[B]

But you know what I would never send back?

[A]

What?

[C]

Bluechew?

[B]

No. Harry's razor.

[C]

Oh, no, I can't do that. My dad just used the one that they sent me.

[B]

Oh. Yeah.

[C]

He stayed at my house for a few days and he used it.

[B]

He was raving about it before you showed up.

[C]

He took it home with him.

[B]

Did he?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Going to have to get you another one.

[C]

I don't shave.

[B]

When I came in, Gideon was stroking my cheek. Right. Remarking on how baby soft it was.

[C]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

I use Harry's to shave my cheeks.

[C]

Yeah, it Looks good. Looks does look baby soft.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you. Did my old razor dull too fast and irritate my chin, jawline and neck? As a matter of fact, it did. I would like when I shaved, I would have these red marks right here. Right on my. But it has that strip that helps razor burn. I used to think was an inevitable part of shaving, but now I know that I was wrong. Harry's isn't just some gimmick with a bunch of features you don't need. Has advanced pivoting system to reach every corner of your face. Refined blade tech for a closer, smoother shave. And a weighted metal hand handle. Harry's heaviest handle yet for added comfort and control. With Harry's Plush, you get a barbershop quality shave with German engineered blades. Each blade is honed at three different angles to cut hair evenly at the root without tugging. Blade spacing is optimized to glide smoothly and avoid clogging. Drugstore blades clog so fast. Right? Get them.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Every cartridge includes. Every cartridge includes a lubricating structure strip with aloe and vitamin E to calm skin while you shave. See, that's what I need because I get those little red marks on my cheeks. I need that aloe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Harry's owns their own world class blade factory in Germany. So no outsourcing, no middlemen. And the same facility has been perfecting blade making for over a hundred years. Because they control the entire process from steel to shelf, they keep their costs low. So why pay $30 for refills when Harry's gives you much better blades for a fraction of the cost?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Harry's has not only launched their most advanced razor ever, it's still cheaper than the Gillette Fusion 5. So go, go compare prices and see if I'm wrong. If you don't love your shave, Harry's will make it right. No questions asked. Risk free trial means there's zero upside to giving it a shot. Harry's plus is Harry's heaviest razor handle ever made from metal, never plastic. Designed to comfortably fit in your hand. Heavier handle means more control and a luxe feel. And Harry's doesn't just make razors. They got a whole line of grooming essentials from shave gel to deodorant to body wash. All thoughtfully made and priced to stick. Stock up. So for a limited time, listeners can get the Harry's plus trial set for only $10 at Harrys.com Tesd this set includes an all new Harry's razor. Harry's plus razor. One refined five blade cartridge, a two ounce foaming shave gel and a travel cover to protect the blades. On the go. Just head to harrys.com desd to claim the offer and after you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them that. Tell them Steve Dave sent you.

[D]

Yeah, they say the plus one's better for like, you know, head shaving and the such.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You're not, you're not doing the head shave anymore, huh? Away from it?

[D]

Yeah, I. I gotta get to it. Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's a process.

[B]

I went to the, to the beach the other day for like an hour with Marybeth. My head. I gotta wear a hat. To the beach?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Holy. My hair does not deflect the rays like it used to, man.

[C]

It was bacon.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Head was red as hell. See what else I got here? I got. Oh, finished up Spider Noir. Did you finish it?

[C]

No, I'm on the third episode. I have it.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It's been like 10 hour days this week.

[B]

It's been like great, great battle at the end wall.

[A]

You give it a thumbs up, I

[B]

give it a thumbs up.

[A]

You really enjoyed it, huh?

[B]

I liked it so much that inspired me to go back and watch some like 40s noir stuff.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Like what?

[B]

Like Double Indemnity, Maltese Falcon. I watched.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Some bogey.

[B]

Some bogey, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh my goodness.

[C]

Falcon holds up, doesn't it?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's great. It's really good.

[A]

Does it hold up?

[C]

I think I watched it last year. I was like, oh, this is a fun.

[A]

Play it again, Sam.

[C]

All right, well, that's, that's a blank. Sorry.

[B]

Bogey. You're right.

[A]

It's all the same. It's all the same. It's just like. It's like, who's on first? Kai Costello did it in every movie. I thought, I thought in every bogey movie he says, play it again, Sam.

[C]

Like a lot of annoying in Maltese Falcon. Like everybody's under his skin all the time. I love it. That, that's freaky. Like, okay, Peter Laurie character. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

[A]

When did Bogey die?

[C]

Oh, God, I don't know.

[B]

Get him's on.

[C]

Adam's on it. He's already typed. Tip tapping away.

[A]

What mate was those? The two movies that turned him into an icon.

[C]

Casablanca with what's her name. Was it that? That was one that. Well, wait, what was the boat one? The boat one was the first one I ever saw him in.

[D]

African Queen.

[C]

African Queen. That was the first one I saw him in.

[A]

1957.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Holy. He's a lot of. I. I googled, like, his movies. He's in a lot.

[C]

He's in a lot, right?

[A]

Lauren Bacall. What made him so captivating? I mean, only 57? He's. He. Look how old he looks. When you died. He looks. Looks like a hundred compared to us.

[B]

I thought, yeah, I hope so. I always look in the mirror and I'm like, I don't look like I'm 58, right? Like, I'm trying to, like, convince myself.

[A]

So sobering the other day, so my grandkid was down, and I was like, let's go to Keensburg. Let's go to Keensburg. He's still too young now. I knew. And I knew, like, they were like, he's too young. You can't go on any of the rocks rides, you know? But I convinced everybody to go. And we got there, like, it was like, kind of like a. That realization. I was just like. I. Like, I was telling, you know, telling Alicia as we're walking around and everything that I was like, my grandfather brought me here. And I remember it because she was like, like, it looks like it's on its last legs.

[B]

Oh, yeah. We go there to the arcade all the time.

[A]

And I said. And I said. I always say. I always think to myself, this has got to be the last summer for it. Because there's. They could put condos here. Anything would do better than this, I think. But it seems to survive somehow. Somehow. And I told her, and I said to her, like, I used to be so excited to come here. And it felt like it was like Disneyland when my grandfather took me here. And then it kind of hit me. I was like, holy shit, it's a slum. No, I like that. Like, now I have a grandkid, and I brought him here. And I just remember my grandfather looking like.

[B]

Like Methuselah.

[A]

Yes. Like fucking WC Fields. Like an ancient W. My little chickadee. Here's a dollar. And that dollar, like, lasted me all day at Keensburg in 1974.

[D]

Here you go, sweetheart.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was. And I was like, I cannot believe, like, I have a grandkid and I brought him here to Keensburg. It was so, like, jarring and kind of like. Like, maybe stop. Like, time stood still for, like, a millisecond. I was like, that just is fucked up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I got a grandkid, and I brought him here. And Alicia kept going, like, you don't look. You don't look like your grandfather. She's going, chill out. She's going. I'm like. I was like, it's over.

[B]

I have to agree with.

[A]

I'm going to be dead soon. I was like, you could. I want you. Don't throw away the comics. Don't throw away the hard covers. Just make sure. Promise me. You try to maximize all the value out of them. Just don't. Don't believe anybody who tells you they're worthless. I'm going.

[D]

He's pulling his pants up under his nipples.

[A]

Yeah, get me a blanket. I'm cold.

[D]

It's.

[A]

It's 99° these out.

[D]

Where's my Members Only jacket?

[B]

Take my last dash, Alicia. I can't do it, dude.

[C]

We. We. We've been on TV so long that when people like I. When people. Some people come up to me, I see them being like, whoa. Like, I see them look at the wrinkles around my eyes and my gray hair. Like, I see their eyes dart around being like, oh, this motherfucker's getting old. I see it. It's unfortunate.

[D]

When I. When I was in the hospital recovering, they had. I was watching IJ. It was season one.

[C]

Oh, we looked like babies. And I was 36. We looked like babies. I know.

[A]

Said 37.

[C]

It might have been 34. I don't remember anymore.

[D]

It's weird to think he was born in 1899. Yeah.

[A]

But bless her heart, though. She was definitely trying to talk me off the ledge, being like, you don't look like a grandpa. It's like I do too.

[B]

We got to get out of here. Kingsburg's reminding me of it. Yeah, it does. Like, I can only imagine that it's a rich guy that owns it and like, owns the actual boardwalk and they just like money for tax purposes. Well, the city doesn't own the mobbed up or something.

[A]

I don't know. It's. It's not even a boardwalk. It's just asphalt.

[B]

Yeah, it's just asphalt, like in place of a boardwalk. And there's like, there's. There's rides, but the rides are like, it has. I don't know about that.

[A]

Like, out survived.

[B]

It shouldn't still be decades more than

[A]

I would have ever imagined that it could, but it was actually busy. The. After the late evening, we went. We went on a Sunday night and it was.

[C]

That's what I mean.

[A]

It was a bit of a crowd. Not a crowd. Crowds, the wrong word. It was. It was way, way more people there than I thought there would be, but

[C]

Isn't what you're describing part of the charm of it?

[A]

It is, but that's why.

[B]

I don't know, it's not packed.

[A]

I don't know if the. I don't know if the rest of the world. World recognizes the charm though.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

And that charm may not be so charming to the guy who owns it when he looks at his finances, at, you know, how much he's bleeding. Keeping that ass. That asphalt boardwalk open.

[C]

Maybe. I mean we, you know, I don't know. It's like it's a seasonal business.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They probably only need two or three good months to.

[A]

And it was. It is so weird. I. I actually went. Had to go there like on a Tuesday the following. Like just this. See it. Yes. Today's Wednesday. I don't know. But I had to. Somebody ordered a door dash off the. One of the.

[B]

Off the boardwalk.

[A]

Off the boardwalk.

[B]

Really?

[A]

So I had to go to like one of those vet. Not. I don't know what are they called? Like the boardwalk stands where they sell pizza or hamburger. Somebody ordered food off of that, which I found so strange.

[B]

That is weird. Like you really have to love that. Yeah. Boardwalk food. Yeah.

[A]

And there was nobody there. Like. Like the. The person running the stage was the only person in a three mile radius. It was like. It looked like fucking. What's that? Zombie movie 28 days later.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Like their music is playing and there's just nobody around.

[B]

Yeah. We rarely venture beyond the arcade. Like Sage likes to go there to the arcade. So we'll go to Texas Roadhouse and then hit the arcade. It makes it look amazing.

[A]

It doesn't look very bright and like it looks awesome. But when you get there, there's. It's just something is something just makes you go like whoa.

[C]

Oh. You used to like the big parks, you know what I mean? This guy can kind of see how this would be let down. But to me this looks beautiful.

[D]

It is.

[A]

There's a charm to it. I'm not denying it.

[D]

Is the fishing pier part of it or what does that mean, the fishing pier? Is that part of the amusement park or no?

[B]

Yeah, kids go on a fish ride all the time.

[A]

Hang out with 50, 60 year old fishermen. Just wanted a roller coaster.

[B]

How many tickets?

[D]

I'm just wondering if to sit. It's part of the same complex. Like the owner owns it.

[B]

I have a bracelet, sir.

[A]

Can I go in? More chum, please.

[C]

I think Taylor Swift's here today.

[B]

Yeah. The. The addition of the water park I think was huge to this place. Like it seems like way more people go to the water park than goodies.

[A]

We used to have to go there. Q. With the. As employees with the community center. We'd bring the kids from the community center to this water park.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And one of the. One of the days we were there, there'd be other like part. Like other camps that would come to. From all over. Oh yeah, you know, from like, you know, all over Jersey, you know. And one of the camps that was there, one of the kids, he went home and he. This is the first time I ever heard of this. He. He dry drowned.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Not in our camp.

[B]

I remember that.

[A]

Like it broke the news like the next day. And like in the newspaper.

[C]

I never heard of this.

[A]

Ye. This is fucked up. I woke up to that. One of the kids at that installation. We're all having fun. He went home, he fell asleep on the bus. He got home and he told his parents that he didn't feel good. He was tired and he went to sleep and he never woke up. And he called a dry drowning. He had too much water in his lungs and he didn't know it.

[B]

Yeah, it says dry drowning is an outdated and non medical term term. It's defined as a laryngospasm where the airway temporarily closes after water hits the throat or acute pulmonary edema caused by inhaling small amounts of water. So I guess like a little bit of water at a time.

[C]

A little bit of water at a time.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't like that. I got a pool.

[B]

I'll just don't swallow all the water.

[C]

I don't think you're intended to.

[B]

Like, what if you swim around with your mouth open?

[C]

No, but you're in the pool talking and like that. What if somebody splashes in your water?

[B]

I think it's like hours.

[A]

I think it has to be a substantial amount of water.

[C]

Oh, so this is like a survival of the fittest thing? Like this kid's an idiot type thing.

[A]

I. I don't want to be so cruel to the kid.

[B]

Years.

[C]

It's been 40 years. I think you can.

[A]

I don't be that insensitive.

[C]

All right? But that's what you mean. Yeah, you got it.

[B]

All right.

[A]

But I think he probably was just

[C]

like Darwinism at its finest. Okay, gotcha.

[A]

He was old too. He was like 12 or 13, you know, and he had just.

[C]

I can't help but notice that the earth just kept turning. But we didn't lose out on anything. Another idiot dead. Is that what you're saying?

[A]

No, not at All. I think those are your words, but

[C]

picking up what you're saying, it's.

[A]

It is such a tragedy because you. You send your kid to have a fun day at this water park. He comes home, and then he. And then he doesn't wait up because he drank. Because too much water got night.

[C]

Sounds like a nightmare.

[A]

It's a nightmare. It was just like, the whole time I was thinking, like, when I was reading it, I still remember how. How it affected me. I was like, thank God it wasn't one of our kids.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It would have been paperwork alone.

[C]

I hear what you're saying. Well, I'm just picking up what you're putting down.

[A]

Your heart is stone.

[D]

He's saying the quiet part out loud.

[C]

I'm just picking up on your vibe.

[A]

If I'm wrong, it was just like the trauma.

[C]

Just saying what Walt's thinking.

[A]

I guess to know one of the. Like, if I had known the kid, like, that would be very difficult because there was nothing I could do. You would think he was fine. He gets on the bus.

[B]

For all intents and purposes, he gets

[A]

on the bus, he's fine. He gets off the bus, he goes home. You don't think that, like, that kid's gonna drown? Dry drown?

[C]

No.

[B]

Right? You're just like, well, he didn't drown. He made it. He's back from the water.

[A]

I did my job. Like, yeah, like, I brought your kid alive.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But that's not the case. Sometimes they. You know. But this is a. I wonder how many dry drownings are per year. Can you look that up? Sure.

[C]

That sucks.

[A]

I imagine you more were a kid. Get them. That probably were like. You're like, a prime victim of a dry drowning of the way you. I can just see you walking around,

[B]

your mouth open, skimming us water for krill.

[A]

I don't know why. I just picture you as a kid, like, with your mouth perpetually opened wide. As.

[C]

As wide as possible because he won't shut the up or just because he's walking around with his mouth open?

[B]

Both. Here comes the mouth breather.

[D]

I don't know how you know.

[A]

Hey, I'm sure that kids could swim, too, but do you swim with your mouth wide open? That's probably what. I bet you do.

[B]

No, I bet you. Are you a good swimmer, or do you look like you're Dr. Counting?

[D]

No, I'm very good, son. I almost was a lifeguard. Almost.

[C]

I was almost a pilot.

[A]

Look at his face.

[C]

He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it.

[A]

We cracked him we got.

[D]

I. I took the course. But the final.

[A]

But they failed you because you couldn't shut your mouth. You're like, can you just keep your mouth closed?

[B]

Pumping his legs.

[D]

I wasn't available for the final test. Oh, no, no.

[B]

What were you doing?

[D]

I went to summer camp.

[C]

So we got him on the ropes. It's hard to get him on the ropes.

[A]

He's been very sensitive lately. Yeah, I pressed this buttons too easy the other day. We got into an argument. This is what you know. You're spending too much time together. I was like. As I told him that and he got so offended. I was like, you don't know the definition of homoerotica. He was so annoying. Tell he. So the night before, he sends me this text. And don't.

[C]

You don't know homo.

[A]

Don't send shit like this to me. Because my daughter and my wife has been always has my phone because we're door dashing. Okay, so don't send a text. Like, I just saw the most homoerotic video video. Like, if my wife or daughter saw that, what are they gonna think of my friends?

[B]

You said that. I just watched Ghost Story. I was gonna take a little clip of the little. Don't you.

[A]

Thank you. But anyway, so he sends me. He sends me this text. I just saw the most homoerotic commercial commercial. And I click on it. It's an old Michael Jordan Haynes commercial.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

He's in the locker room and a bunch of guys are watching him what kind of underwear he wears. And they're like, well, I want to be like Mike. So they. And then, like, it shows. Like, he comes back to the gym and now they're all wearing the underwear he wore. But now he's changed the color of his underwear. So they're always trying to keep up.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And I told when I got. And I didn't even respond to it because I'm like, first off, I'm like, it's not worthy of responding to this kind of text. I don't care about this. Why is he sending me this? But then the next day, he goes, you didn't. What about that commercial I sent you? And I said, yeah, you really don't know the definition of homoerotic. I said, and oh, my God, he fucking went off. I do too.

[B]

I'm an expert. Oh, here it is. Yeah, that was the whole thing. They want to be like, Mike, that

[A]

was erotic about this.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

There's not.

[D]

I just think the fixation on, like it was about. And then he leaves. He's like, well, at least they're wearing Hanes.

[A]

There was Nobody in the 90s who wanted to have sex with Michael. Like, dude, they just wanted to be like Mike because he was a badass on the basketball ball court. Not because they are sexually attracted to them.

[B]

If only you take those underwear off.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta learn what real homoerotica is. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, you better learn quick, otherwise you'll be a victim of it. That's funny. That's funny.

[C]

That's great.

[A]

Yeah, he was all a little bent out of shape though.

[C]

Not used to that question.

[A]

His, his knowledge on it, on the subject, on anything.

[C]

Sure upsets him.

[B]

Oh yeah. Hey, Teddy.

[C]

Teddy.

[B]

I've been watching Taxi lately. Oh my God, you watch it? Yeah, it's great.

[A]

It's so wonderful show.

[B]

Yeah, I like, I was, I. I vaguely remember, like I remembered Latke and I was like, I wonder how I'll respond to this character. Like not being a kid and watching it, you know, I. I love it.

[C]

He's great.

[B]

He's so great. His facial expressions are the best, I

[A]

got to admit, and I understand why. But when Reverend Jim replaced Vlotka as the quirky character, show elevated to a new level. I think Jim is a better, more lovable character. Have you gotten to the point where Laka has all the fucking personality changes and he.

[B]

Oh no, not yet. We're probably episode seven.

[A]

There's only like four seasons for a show that is so iconic. Like it didn't last that very long. But there was one episode that just. It makes me. It just touches my heart is Jim was sending. Maybe you haven't gotten to it yet, but it's one of the greatest episodes in television history for me personally is Jim is anonymously sending poems to Elaine to help her self esteem. And she really picks up her spirits and she wants to know who's sending these anonymous poems. And she starts dating, hating this dope who, like this like meathead who says, like, yeah, I'm the guy that's sending him just to get in her pants. And Alex finds out and he says, Jim, you gotta tell her that, you know, she thinks that, you know, she may marry this guy or, you know, maybe, you know, and she. And it's all on a lie. So he tells her it's her and she's so upset and she says, yeah, I was. I'm such a fool. You mean? Yeah. Thank you for making me believe that there were still princes and that, you know, I was going to be have a castle one day at the end of the you know, one day live with a prince and live in a castle. And she storms off. And then later on, he. He. He breaks into her apartment. Jim.

[B]

Jim does.

[A]

And he welds her out of, like, this metal. A giant in her living room. A castle. And he. And she comes back and she's very touched. And he says that. She goes, you're such a sweet man. And he goes, well, I could stay. He goes, he says, I could stay, you know. And she says, oh. She basically turns him down. She's like, you're such a sweet human being. You're the kindest person, you know, but.

[B]

But you're a Cyrano de Bergerac. Yeah.

[A]

And she sends him on his way. And he says before he exits, he goes, there was a time that used to be enough. And she still closes the door. He goes out, and there's this melancholy piano. And you see him walk down the stairs. He gets to the five. The curb. The entire part of his van is missing because he ripped off the roof to build.

[B]

To make.

[A]

And he gets into the van, he drives off with a roofless van.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

It was heartbreaking, but so poignant. It was one of the best things I've ever seen on television. Now when you get to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Phenomenal episode. Yeah. I love Reverend Jim.

[C]

Yeah, he's great.

[B]

Yeah. He's. He's been in one episode so far. He came in to marry.

[A]

Can you imagine that? Like. Like electrifying the. The audience so much that you're bringing this car. This throwaway character becomes a regular cast member, and Latke had to be like, this is my gig. I'm the quirky guy. What am I if I'm not that guy?

[B]

Right. Yeah, you got.

[A]

Thank you very much. I really did not like Latke.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, that's. It was tough to warm up to him.

[B]

Yeah. I find that when he's doing his. His gibberish, it's not as funny as when he. His facial expressions, though, are priceless. Like when he's mad at somebody. He was. He got mad at Alex. He was going to this dinner party, and they were trying to teach him, like, very basic, like, please pass assault. And when they get to the dinner party, Alex goes, hey, can you please pass assault?

[A]

So good.

[B]

It's funny.

[A]

And did you know that Bobby had to leave the truck show? He has to leave the show because he becomes a star in Hollywood in his character.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

You know why he had to go?

[B]

No. Was it drugs?

[A]

Coke?

[B]

Yeah, I imagine, because he had.

[A]

They just Couldn't deal with him anymore, so they wrote him off.

[C]

Much coke do you got to be doing? It's 1978.

[A]

How much Coke was flowing in New York?

[C]

I mean, around the California, everywhere. It's like, you got to be really over the line. Get out of here. Yeah.

[D]

Julie on the love vote.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, Hollywood, it was. That's. I guess it was just like fucking. It was like water. It was.

[C]

I mean, that's when Hollywood was fun. Like, to get out of the party at that point is crazy.

[A]

Yeah. But they had to write him off because he just couldn't stay off drugs.

[B]

I mean, the other thing he ever started was Celebrity Rehab.

[A]

Yeah. That was decades later.

[D]

5.

[B]

What's that?

[D]

Babylon 5.

[B]

He was in that?

[A]

Yeah. Jeff Conway.

[B]

Jeff Conway, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know how your healthy dose of 70s TV, he was.

[A]

He. He probably thought he was on Untouchable. He's Bobby Wheeler. He looks the way he looks. He's on a primetime sitcom show and there's only four channels banging, probably everything. And then he gets to his agent's. Got to be like, you're off. You're off.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Sage was probably high on coke when he told him the news.

[A]

He died real young too, right?

[B]

Yeah, pretty young. Yeah. I think in his early 60s, I thought.

[D]

60 years.

[B]

60 years old.

[D]

60, 60.

[A]

Yeah. Terrible. He was good, too. He's a great actor, I thought.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's really good in the show. Yeah. Greece. I forgot he was in Greece.

[D]

Is that Rana Newton John? Is that Olivia's?

[A]

And doesn't Tony. I mean, you watch Friends?

[C]

No, I've never seen Friends.

[A]

See, Tony Danza reminds me so much of Joey from Friends.

[C]

Oh, I know. Who the character. Yeah.

[A]

What's his name? Blanc.

[B]

Oh, Tony Blanc. Matt LeBlanc.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, Matt Leblanc really should. He had to study Tony Danza, the. The school of acting. I mean, basically, it's the same character.

[B]

Like a dopey, like, goomba type character. Yeah.

[A]

Did you say that?

[B]

I think so.

[C]

Still open season, them in the Irish. You still got. You still get the knocks. And they know how to take a joke, so.

[A]

Most of them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They don't care what you say about.

[A]

I'm Irish. I could. Yeah, you can say whatever you want.

[C]

My mom was born in Italy. I could say whatever about these greasy Italians. I'm one of them. They're my people.

[D]

In this house, Christopher Columbus is a hero.

[B]

Sage graduates next week.

[A]

How was the prom?

[B]

Prom was good. Yeah. She really liked the prom. We got her. We Got her to her limo. She took the limo there. We basically arrived ahead of the limo, took some pictures there at the prom, and then we left. And we were. I gave my number to her attendant and I was like, hey, if she wants to leave early like last year, just give me a call. Because she gets like, over. Because the music's so loud. Like, she gets overwhelmed by it and she really needs like hearing like those headphones and stuff to blanket out. So I get the call and they're like, yeah, can you come get her? And this is at like 9. So I get there at 9:20, and people are just. There's cops there. People are pouring out of the. Yeah, pouring.

[A]

Why are there cops there?

[B]

I guess, like, just to like manage the traffic. Because there were a lot of people. There was like probably a thousand people at this prom. It was huge. It was huge. There were so many people. And so we show up and I'm like, oh, fucking great, the place is on fire. I don't see Sage anywhere.

[A]

The place.

[B]

No, this is what I'm thinking. I'm looking around and I say I find one of the ladies. And I was like, what is going on? Why is everybody. Because when they leave, they're not just like walking out of the prom and like laughing and shit. They're running. They're running to their cars, they're running to their party buses, all this other shit. And I asked a lady, I was like, what is going on? And she was like, oh, the park prom ended. I was like, what do you mean? It was supposed to end until 10 o'. Clock. And she was like, yeah, but they crowned the king and queen so nobody wanted to stay. And I was like, why are they running out? And she's like, I don't know. They're probably excited. Like she's like, totally stone faced and, like, fine with it. And I'm like panicking, like, where is Sage? Is she burned up already?

[C]

That's like a great white guy.

[A]

Were there fire trucks here?

[B]

No, just the cops. Just the cops.

[A]

That is weird to make the leap from, like, the place is on fire.

[B]

Well, when you saw the people pouring out of it, I was like, what other reason could there be?

[C]

Shooting or something?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, shooting Something wacky. Yeah, but no, it was fine. Prom went well. She loved it. But now she graduates. Not this week, but next Thursday. 17 years of schooling, wrapping up. I took her to her first day of preschool and I'll be taking her to her last day of high school. Wow. There she is, showing her leg. I Should have beaten her after that on her Instagram.

[A]

What's the planned part?

[B]

Post graduation, she's taking the summer off, finding herself. What's that gonna.

[D]

Find herself?

[B]

Yeah, she's gonna go on a walk about.

[A]

Be careful, though. Get him. Took his summer off and look, he never went back.

[D]

That's true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're still trying to find yourself, right? Yeah.

[B]

You're still on a walkabout. Basically, she wants to take the summer off and swim and hang out and stuff. And then when September comes around, she's in something called transition, where she, like, works half a day. Day. And they try to find her, like, a little job to do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She'll be doing that for like a year. And then after that, it's just like she has to go to work or something just to find something to do. So she wants to work. She wants to work with her brother at the veterinarian's office, which I guess is possible. You know, I'm not sure if they give her something to do, like, you know, feed the animals or. I always tell her she has to clean up the dog, and she's like, no, I don't want to.

[C]

Somebody's got a babe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Starting out, low man on the totem pole. If I. If I volunteered at a place, you know, for. For like an animal shelter or something, that's what I would be doing. I would go in on the ground level regardless. I'm like, hey, man, you know how many dogs I've owned? They're like, we don't give a.

[C]

Get to school.

[B]

Pick up that. Yeah, yeah. So graduation. I can't believe it's coming out.

[C]

It's nuts. I. I remember. I remember when your sister was pregnant with her.

[B]

Yeah. Crazy.

[C]

Crazy all goes by.

[B]

Yeah. I remember the first day that she. When she. The day she was born, I went in and saw my sister and I was like, wow, look at this little. Looks like a little plucked chicken, this thing. And they were still.

[C]

There's no way I'll be responsible for this for the rest of the.

[B]

No. No way. That was not my fault. Yeah. No. Yeah. I remember my sister and my mother being like, well, maybe she doesn't have down syndrome. Like, they're looking at her and I'm like, are you out of your fucking minds? Like, they did a test. Like, they know she's has it. And you could just take a look at her and be like, no, she has it. You know, maybe it's not that bad. And they were right. It's not that bad. You know, she's able to communicate. She's able to do everything that other kids do, you know, so. And by kids, I mean 20 year old adults.

[C]

Yeah, whatever.

[B]

Yeah. She gets all offended if I call her a kid, but really, yeah, she's like, dad, I'm adult. Oh, by the fact that you're calling me Dada, you know, so.

[C]

Wow. I saw. I mean, I don't want to make another recommendation that's going to get me

[B]

some blowback, but I saw that once every 20 years.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I saw the he man movie.

[B]

Oh, did you?

[A]

Oh, I wanted to see that.

[C]

So much fucking fun. I have notes. It's. It leans into comedy, maybe 20% too. I would like them dial it back a little bit. But, man, what a fun fucking movie. Like beginning to end, just a blast.

[A]

I'm not that knowledgeable at he man, but the trailer sparked my interest. It looked very creative, very like. It looks like there were some cool effects and the cool effect.

[C]

The effects are a little late. They have that thing going where it's like a little video gamey, you know what I mean? Because everything. But it's a. If you're just like, oh, yeah, I'm watching a movie about toys, then you're like, okay, I don't care. And it's. But it is fun, man. And Idris Alba as Man in Arms is. He's awesome. And Skeletor is. I don't know why it's not doing well in the box office.

[A]

It's not doing well, right. So much fun that it was underperforming. Correct? Yes, correct.

[C]

It's underperforming.

[A]

Why do you think?

[C]

I just think it's. Maybe it's a tough property, you know, like people don't really care.

[A]

Why you just call it He Man? Why do I have to call it Messers of the Universe?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Everybody I know is calling it He Man. I want to see He Man.

[A]

Yeah. And why not just call it he man in the Masters of the Universe?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Do you think you're like, how long did he man go? Like, only the 80s, right? So you're really depending.

[C]

Never went away. There was always a series.

[B]

Well, I know Kevin did something, right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Kevin did like three. Three series of it. But the soundtrack I think you'll love. It's all that heavy metal, like really movie heavy metal. Like Brian May does guitars in it and stuff. So there's always like rocking and jamming and stuff. It's like real sword and sorcery.

[B]

Stuff. Should.

[A]

I really think I should make an attempt to see it? Because I imagine it won't be in theaters long.

[C]

I would go see it. I honestly, I saw it in imax and I'm telling you, I had a blast. It was just so much fun. There are times where you're like, all right, I don't need a joke there. I didn't need a joke there. They do that thing where they undercut themselves. Like, most movies do it like once or twice where it's just like, we're gonna do it and then the car stalls out and they're like, we're gonna get gas. Like some stupid.

[A]

Like that.

[C]

They do it, like, for some reason, like five times. And I'm like, guys, like, we're allowed to have a heroic moment without undercutting it. But. But it's a blessing. And Skeletor dude is a real son of a bitch. He's a real villain.

[B]

It's Jared Leto, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Jared Leto does voice.

[B]

Oh, he does the voice well, that guy. I'm surprised he got anything.

[A]

I mean, at this point, yeah, it seems like everything he is in underperforms.

[C]

I'm also like, look, the way he performs Skeletor is awesome. But you're like, I don't know why they got him. Like, you don't see him, and his voice doesn't sound like him. But the choices he made with the character are so good that you're like, I mean, it's not his fault that it's not doing well. Like, he did a great job as Skeletor and they made him a real villain. Like, he's a fucking bastard.

[D]

Staley does a good. But they need secondary character.

[A]

He needs to stop being in these. These, like, tent poles. These movies about these. What they call those property movies. Like, he was in Morbius ip. Yeah, ip. He was in Tron Tanked, and now he's in he man. And it. I'm not saying it's his fault, but

[C]

this is definitely not his fault.

[A]

You don't even know what bad luck charm it feels like.

[C]

Yeah, it's great, though.

[A]

I. I did want to see it, which is weird because I have no interest in Heman. I couldn't tell you anything about, you know, they.

[C]

They. You don't have to know anything about it. Yeah, there's this one character called Mechanic who's like. The figure was literally like, his head just came out like a giraffes metal giraffe stalk. And he used his head as his weapon. And you're like, so stupid. And then when they use it in the movie you're like that's pretty cool. Like oh, they made, they made mechanic.

[A]

Now where you.

[C]

There he is.

[A]

Were you a kid who enjoyed the show or is a bit before your time?

[C]

No, no, no, I was, I was right there. I had he man figures. I had Castle Grayskull, I had all the toys and stuff. I was always more into Transformers than he man, but I was pretty deep into he man. It was, it was fun. It's really.

[A]

Do you think the, the era of the, the blockbuster is over? Like are there, is there?

[C]

I think it's over until there's a blockbuster again.

[A]

Do you think we'll ever see a blockbuster?

[C]

Yeah, I think so. What's your definition? These, these Avatar movies which I still haven't even seen, every time they come out they clean up.

[A]

I mean when I say yes, I think those Avatar movies were reported to have, have done baffo business but I don't think they've made of like that, that kind of cultural footprint impact.

[B]

You don't hear people talking about.

[A]

Nobody really ever mentions them. You never see, you don't see merch everywhere. Like no, you don't see that kind of like the, like the like projectile vomit like of Star wars or MCU where you're seeing it everywhere. In toy stores, in, in fast food places, in just where you couldn't escape certain movies that made like big impacts.

[C]

I think that, I think you'll see that again. I think the problem is that all our fucking stable horses that we all expected to be blockbusters were just taken

[A]

over by have what has it aged out though?

[C]

No, I just think they just don't know how to make them anymore.

[A]

I've heard 20 something year olds do not give a fuck about he man or MCU or Star wars know.

[C]

But what do they care about? I don't know. I, I, I don't think it's over.

[A]

They like I think like one minute videos.

[B]

Yeah. Tick tock.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know. But that won't. Look, nothing lasts, right? So that's going to go away eventually too. We're just in a bad, you know, we're just in a shitty pop culture period.

[B]

You have an interest in Disclosure Day? The I am. Yeah.

[A]

Spielberg.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I just heard something that, that again just made me just like sit there for a second and be like holy shit. So you remember Spielberg's War of the Worlds movie, right? I just read something because of this new Alien movies coming out that the ending where where people were. Remember when Tom Cruise gets to Boston and he walks up to this like this brownstone. The brownstone and his in laws and the kid. Because that was a fake ending. The re. The end. That's a, like, that's what the little girl, his daughter, she's in the. She's in a cage with the aliens and they go show. They show a close up of her eye, right? That is her. Spielberg says that was her imagining that before she died at the alien's hands.

[B]

I totally believe that because when I watched that movie and I'm like, how the fuck did this kid get back to Boston after like, like all the, like that fire and shit. That was like when he was trying to climb that hill with the army. Yeah, that happened.

[A]

Is her imagination as she's about to die.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Spielberg said that.

[A]

Spielberg said this and makes me want to go back and rewatch it because I love that movie. And to me that is like, why are you waiting fucking 20 years to say that? And why did you try to make it a little bit more clear? Because that's so dark, right? That it is jaw dropping. That like, wow, that was her like, way of dealing with dying. She just kind of went into her head and you're seeing her kind of come up with this happy ending before she dies.

[C]

But there's no, there's no clues to that.

[A]

I saw this online. I don't know if Spielberg said, okay, this.

[C]

And may have just been crappy if, like, if there's no clues to that that you could pick up on. And he's just like, yep, that's what that was like. That sounds like kind of hacking to me.

[A]

Do you think maybe it was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. Like somebody suggested to him like, Stephen, was this an imagine. Yes, yes, it was.

[C]

It's got us talking about War of the World again.

[A]

Yeah. But she's. Yeah, this is all an imaginative, imaginative Dakota Fanning, which to me makes me go like, that's pretty cool.

[C]

So when did she die?

[A]

Then she dies. Apparently. There's a shot of her and there's a close up of her eye die inside when she's captured by the aliens. Remember, they're in a cage.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They get scooped up.

[C]

Yeah, I remember that. That's when she dies.

[A]

That's. That's when she's like, she's just about ready to die.

[C]

I'll tell you what makes sense. That is if you look at everybody that they're seeing in this Boston house, they're all Amazingly well put together. Their hair is right, their clothes are right. They. They don't look like they just survived an alien.

[B]

Even the sunlight makes it look.

[C]

Yeah, I kind of see it now.

[A]

He said that it was based on another movie that he saw that impressed him. There's another movie that did this. It's something I wish I could. I wish I had saved the. The tweet I was reading and. Because it blew my mind because I was just like. That is such a cool ending. But I really wish the. You kind of spelled it out a little bit more for the dumbasses like me in the movie theater who are like.

[C]

And me.

[A]

This is kind of corny.

[B]

Like I believe the idea 20 years now. Like I didn't look any deeper into.

[C]

This is the sun. He's hugging here all dirty and stuff too right now.

[A]

Well, this. The son is wearing the same exact clothes that he wore.

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

When he runs off into like the firewall.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Remember it when he leaves.

[C]

Yeah. So the first thing he would do if he was really at his grandparents house would be change and wash his face. Especially his grandfather. He's going to a board meeting. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I'm kind of digging this, this theory.

[A]

Yeah. It really just like, like made me go, holy fuck. Like it's. It's cool to hear to if. To discover a new spin on something this years later. If that's the case though, I love

[C]

how much blood they put in this movie.

[A]

Yeah, this was a really like, I really love this movie.

[C]

I watched them film part of it on Staten island on the expressway.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I mean we didn't see any stars. They just had like the cameras set up and all the, all the cars. Like it's in that traffic scene where he gets out of the car and runs. That was filmed on Staten Island.

[D]

Yeah, it was part filmed in house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I love that moment too where the kid leaves and like the father is like, just gives up. He's like, he can't. He can't protect him. And he's just like, I got to protect the kid. Like if you're gonna be an idiot

[B]

and run off, what am I supposed to do?

[A]

Yeah, he just, he just has to make that, that choice to be like, I gotta get the little kid get out of here. I can't wrangle deal with this guy. This kid was so annoying throughout the whole movie movie. It's like, you know, try to help out a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. Like it's an Extreme situation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not asking you to clear the

[A]

dishes, emo kid, when the Martians are scooping people up.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Buck up a little.

[C]

Jesus. Yeah, I want to see it, too. Disclosed today.

[A]

Yeah, I heard it's not heavy on action, though. I heard it's. It's a lot of. You're gonna have to go through a lot of talking head stuff.

[C]

I didn't see his last movie, Fableman's, and I didn't love Ready Player One. I need to. I need to fall in love with Spielberg again. Like, I want him to. Like.

[A]

I saw ready player one.

[C]

The DeLorean was cool. Driving.

[A]

Yeah. That. That felt like it was something that would hit all your.

[C]

I didn't like the book. I read the book. I was like, this book is dumb. And then. And then I liked. Anytime there was something on the screen that I recognized, I was like, oh, I get it. I like. Like that. But the story and I don't care.

[A]

That's a movie I thought would have done better too. It didn't. Didn't really set the world on fire.

[C]

It's a very good movie.

[A]

I just thought the fan service of seeing all those properties, that was.

[C]

That's what got me to see it.

[A]

That, to me, is so cool and so unique.

[C]

Yeah. He took the T. Rex out of that movie. He said there were too many Spielberg references in his own movie. So they took the T. Rex out. They took a few things. Things out, which is cool.

[B]

It was only pop culture. Like, not like. Not necessarily his movie stuff.

[C]

It was the back. The Fuji car was King Kong, like Peter Jackson's King Kong. Yeah. Iron Giant was in it. The. You know, it was like a giant mixture of. Of pop culture prop properties, which is fun, but at the end of the day, it just didn't work. I didn't care about the story.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

I think that might be it. Yeah. That's all. I had it. Well, I was going to ask you something else, but I don't know. I guess I can ask you if. So Teddy's scratching, right?

[A]

Teddy's a scratching right.

[B]

He's just scratching this one spot. You're like, you know what? I'm just going to bring him to the vet because he won't stop scratching this one spot. You get him there, they give him a little shave. Suddenly their eyes widen and they're like, sir, can you explain this? And you see that Teddy has a swastika tattoo on him. Put there by the previous owner, I'm assuming. How do you explain that away.

[A]

That would be tough. That would be. That would be. That would be like. I. I would hope my reaction to it would seem legitimate.

[B]

Just as fast as they are.

[C]

Oh, man. Do they take them off?

[A]

Is that something?

[C]

Scratch games.

[B]

Oh, I don't know. Yeah,

[A]

that's a scandal.

[D]

Who is worse, the person, the tattoo artist or the person who gets the.

[B]

Requested the tattoo?

[C]

Yeah, I would think they'd be the same person. You don't think it'd be like, some dude just being like, nazi dog, White power Teddy. He's the cutest little white supremacist I've ever seen.

[B]

Yeah, definitely.

[A]

Ah, well, today's my anniversary.

[B]

Oh, is it today? Yeah. And look at you coming in to do. Tell him, Steve. Dave.

[A]

My wife is working, so. So I can go to work too, then.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Any plans?

[A]

We're going to AC tomorrow, and we're going to see Devo play.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's fun.

[A]

Yeah, I'm a Devo fan. Borgata.

[B]

Borgata. Okay. You staying at the Borgata?

[A]

No, we're not gonna stay overnight.

[B]

Oh, you're gonna come back.

[A]

Yeah. So go up, gamble, have dinner, and they say, see Devo and come home then.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Devo.

[A]

She has no.

[B]

No interest.

[A]

Interest in Devo. She goes, I don't know. One song. I was like, oh, sure. I said, oh, yeah, what's another. Another song. And I named, like, four songs. She's like, I never heard those songs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think.

[B]

How could you not hear Canary in a Coal Mine a million times on mtv?

[A]

Working in a coal mine.

[B]

Working in a coal mine. Yeah. Working in a comb.

[A]

Sorry. Yeah. How could she not hear it?

[B]

Yeah. Those are heavily rotating.

[A]

I could see it. Yeah. I'm not going to be surprised.

[B]

It's not memorable.

[A]

Yeah. When she leaves the. The performance, and it was like, why'd you do this? Why didn't they just sing Devo 15 times in a row? That would have been better than.

[B]

Yep. So that's about it. Well, congratulations. But what is this? 32 years?

[A]

94.

[B]

32 years.

[A]

Two years. Yeah.

[B]

Damn, man. Not crazy to think you could hit 50.

[A]

I would hope so.

[B]

That's a lot of years, man. Like, you're one of those couples. Like, I'll never hit it.

[A]

No. Not just be crazy.

[B]

Marybeth might hit it when she's married to another guy.

[A]

Tell him, Steve Dave.