#686: Little Man

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #686: “Little Man” (August 10, 2026)

Episode Overview

This week’s episode of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! is a classic blend of dark humor, heart, and comic banter, as the crew (Bryan, Walt, Q, and Gideon) dive into recent live event stories, pet loss, growing older, and wild tales from DoorDash delivery. Central to the episode is Bryan’s emotional account of losing his beloved cat “Little Man,” balanced by the group’s dry wit and familiar, uncensored camaraderie.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Live Show & Q West Comedy Festivals

• Jiggy’s Comedy Show

  • Bryan recaps attending and performing at Jiggy’s comedy event. The crowd is friendly, with many inquiring about Q West (01:20).
  • Ming’s Birthday: Bryan calls out how, during Comic Book Men days, Ming’s birthday would get overlooked in favor of Kevin’s (02:52).
  • This year, Ming’s birthday was celebrated with a live podcast and a stripper, organized by fans (03:44).
  • Notable quote:
    • Q (about Comic Book Men): “There’s a parade down fucking Broad street pretty much.” (03:05)

• Strippers, Gender, and Pay Inequality

  • The group jokes about the escalating price of hiring a male or little person stripper versus a typical female stripper, discussing the odd economics (04:02–04:36).
  • Bryan: “Now guys are making more money than the gals.”
  • Q: “It’s another example of the patriarchy…”
  • They riff on the ever-shifting market and societal values (04:36–05:24).

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Bryan’s Cat, “Little Man”: Grief and Memories

• Loss Announcement (07:01)

  • Bryan shares that his 11.5-year-old cat, Salem (aka “Little Man”), fell ill with liver problems and had to be put down.
  • Emotional difficulty performing at Jiggy’s fest in the midst of grief.

• Pet Bonding & Rituals

  • Little Man joined Bryan every morning during reading time; he was highly social and would beg for food (08:18–09:22).
  • Sage, Bryan’s daughter, had not yet been told as she had just come home from a camping trip (09:46).

• Reflections on Pet Loss

  • The group commiserates about losing pets and the unfairness of their short lifespans compared to tortoises (10:49–11:48).

    • Q: “It sucks that cats and dogs just can’t have the life expectancy of a tortoise.”
    • Bryan: “Hardly anybody keeps a tortoise as a pet. Seems like it’s wasted because they don’t do shit.”

  • The segment is bittersweet, highlighting how Bryan is considering adopting a senior cat despite the inevitable heartbreak (13:59–14:11).

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Q West, Community, and Odds-and-Ends

• Jay Miller laments not being invited to Q West—Walt would love to have him if he recovers voice-wise (14:41–15:14).
• Bryan is surprised by the audience overlap at the festival (15:16–15:37).

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Dog Contest at the Bar

• Discussion about the local bearded lady dog contest, Teddy’s eligibility, and the politics of “carpetbagging” at the bar (16:16–17:44).
• Bryan (joking about nepotism): “I want it to be bigger than the election rigging scandal of the last presidency.” (17:23)

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Modern Movie Trailers and 80s Music

• Walt and Bryan discuss how every trailer now features a reverb-drenched remix of classic 70s/80s songs.
• Q: “You would think that they’d be pushing music the younger generation listens to, rather than, like, Young Cannibals.” (18:25)
• Nostalgia and trailer tropes dissected (18:47–19:49).

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Staten Island Politics & Aging Out of Caring

• A tangent riffing on NYC politics, Staten Island’s perennial outsider status, and the cyclical nature of city governance (20:34–22:46).
• Walt: “All I need is for, like, no nuclear bombs to go off the next 30 years.” (22:12)
• Reflects on shifting ambitions as one ages:
  • Bryan: “I think I’ve reached that age… where nobody’s counting on me to do anything.” (22:36)

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

On Losing a Cat

• Bryan (on Little Man):
  • “He was my guy, my little buddy… every morning he would come downstairs and hang out with me.” (08:18)
  • “He always wanted his cut. He was a fucking socialist cat.” (09:23)
• Walt: “Like a little dickhead.” (09:08)
• Bryan: “I haven’t been this broken up about a pet in some time.” (09:12)

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On Aging Bodies

• Walt: “I got a heart monitor on. Monitoring my heart… got really dizzy and a pounding headache that lasted for fucking days.” (31:17–32:05)
• Q: “Have you ever seen Walt drink water? I never see him drink water.” (33:13)
• Walt: “It was a scary week.” (33:49)
• Walt (quoting his doctor): “You look like you eat pizza.” (37:20)

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DoorDash Adventures: Absurdities of Gig Work

“Ranch & The $10 Bill” (43:35–54:27)

• Q tells a comedic (and frustrating) story about delivering a low-paying DoorDash order to a nursing home, losing (and regaining) his own $10 bill, and an over-the-top reaction from the customer over missing ranch dressing.
• Customer texts Q: “I hate myself, I want to die.” (51:57)
• Bryan (reacting): “Are you listening to Nirvana?” (51:59)
• The crew jokes about the drama, bleakness, and irony of the gig hustle.

“Hospital Italian Ice” (55:18–60:05)

• Q recounts delivering Italian ice to a hospital patient—battling hospital security, deserted halls, and ultimately not even getting a tip.
• Walt: “Why are you, like Robin Hood, fucking giving away money at every [stop]?”

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Notable Segments with Timestamps

• Patriarchy & Stripper Economics: 00:06–05:30
• Bryan on Little Man’s Illness and Passing: 07:01–13:25
• Discussion about Pet Lifespans & Tortoises: 10:49–11:50
• Senior Cat Adoption Reflection: 13:59–14:17
• Movie Trailer Music Tropes: 17:49–19:36
• Aging: Heart/Health Scares, Doctor Jabs at Walt: 31:17–37:56
• DoorDash “Ranch” Saga: 43:35–54:45
• Hospital Italian Ice Delivery: 55:18–60:05

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General Tone & Takeaways

True to form for Tell ‘Em Steve-Dave!, the episode oscillates between irreverent, empathetic, and absurd. There’s an undercurrent of acknowledging mortality, aging, and the emotional toll of pet loss, but it’s always run through the show’s unique blend of blue-collar humor and honest banter. Q’s DoorDash sagas and the group’s riffing on modern life’s indignities keep the tone grounded and relatable for longtime listeners.

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Selected Quotes

• Bryan (on grief):
  “It was… bad. And it was especially bad when I’m like, ‘Alright, let me try to go be funny now.’” (07:57)

• Q (DoorDash customer meltdown):
  “She just writes back, ’I hate myself, I want to die.’” (51:57)

• Walt (doctor's verdict):
  “She said things like, ‘You look like you eat pizza.’ I mean, what is someone who looks like who eats pizza?” (37:20–37:55)

• Bryan (on being old in the apocalypse):
  “I just want to be old in the apocalypse… I would have wanted to do something. Like, if society broke down.” (22:20–22:47)

• Gideon (on pet habits):
  “It's like, okay, I'm going to go to sleep then.” (13:08)

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Conclusion

For listeners who missed the show, this episode is both a deeply personal reflection (with the loss of Little Man) and a farcical snapshot of the everyday annoyances and absurdities that Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! immortalizes so well. It’s a prime example of their ability to volley between sadness, nostalgia, and full-bore comic relief—always uncensored, always authentic.

Transcript

[Q]

The girls still are not the same level as dudes, even in stripping.

[Walt]

Well, that's what happens.

[Bryan]

Unless you're a.

[Walt]

Maybe they could do like a Island of Dr. Morrow style. Tortoise cat. Any adventures? Any Floridian adventures or not?

[Bryan]

Unless you consider going to my room and crying an adventure.

[Walt]

I do. I do. I consider that quite a journey.

[Q]

Callum. Steve. Dave.

[Bryan]

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Them. Steve. Dave. BQ is here. Walt is here. Hey. Gideon is here.

[Gideon]

How you stanking?

[Bryan]

And I am here. Everybody's here today.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Beautiful day. We've got about an hour.

[Walt]

About an hour. Yeah.

[Bryan]

You've got places to go, people to see, things to do.

[Walt]

It's a leisure thing, but it's nice. I'm looking forward to it.

[Bryan]

Nice. Well, I'm about to bring you down.

[Walt]

Let's do it.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Uh, so last week. Last Thursday, I had to go to Jiggy's.

[Walt]

Yeah. How was it?

[Bryan]

It was good.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Yeah, it was fun. It was. It was very well put together. Everybody loved it, it seemed to me.

[Q]

Comedy show, right?

[Bryan]

Comedy show. Yeah.

[Q]

Yeah,

[Bryan]

it went. It went pretty well. And one of the things I heard quite a bit was like, well, in Q West next year, a lot of people.

[Walt]

A lot of people. Good, good.

[Bryan]

So I don't know if, you know, I wasn't sure if you were still up to it or not, but we haven't even. Definitely got some tickets sold.

[Walt]

Yeah, we haven't even started talking about it yet. Yeah, I have to use. It's funny because, like, part of deal contract stuff with the network is like, I have a certain amount of, like, commercial space to promote independent projects. And I was like, I guess I could use it for that. I was like, I don't really have anything.

[Bryan]

Right.

[Walt]

I was like, I guess. I guess that's a. To do it. So I was like, oh, maybe I'll do. Maybe I'll do festival just to fulfill that.

[Bryan]

Not a bad idea.

[Gideon]

I. I went to see my father to pick up something that I had mailed to his place, and he asked me about it the other day.

[Walt]

Oh, cool.

[Gideon]

Like, have you heard anything yet? Have they said anything?

[Walt]

No, I want to do it. I. It's just. We just haven't even started. I think last year we didn't even start talking about it till September, Right? Yeah.

[Bryan]

But it was Ming's birthday, and Walt will remember that during Comic Book Men, Ming's birthday falls the day before Kevin's birthday.

[Walt]

Okay.

[Bryan]

Ming's birthday was never celebrated. It was barely mentioned okay. But every time it rolled around, it was a big. Kevin had a cake, everybody was singing. It was a whole big deal.

[Q]

There's a parade down fucking Broad street pretty much.

[Bryan]

Right?

[Walt]

I mean, did he throw the parade himself?

[Q]

No, no, definitely the production team. The production team. Yeah. Rolled out the.

[Walt]

Right. And they just ignored the guy in the trenches. The guy doing it every day.

[Q]

I wonder, though, like, how much of that budget was wasted on party supplies for every year. It was crazy how they celebrated it.

[Bryan]

Yeah. And especially in the face of like, oh, it was your birthday too.

[Q]

Yeah, I would, I would.

[Bryan]

Every year.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

I would never miss the chance to mention it, though. Bring it up.

[Walt]

It's great. That's great.

[Bryan]

But so they did celebrate his birthday on stage this year. Ming and I did a podcast, a live podcast. And we brought up, There were three girls, three Sarahs and a Jackie that all pitched in and they got Ming a stripper.

[Walt]

Oh, type of stripper.

[Bryan]

It was a female stripper.

[Walt]

Okay.

[Bryan]

All right, well, she was dressed like a cop. Yeah, I know. I was hoping it would be something a little bit. Yeah, well, they did try for a little person. They said. They said that they tried to get a midget, but it was literally 10 times the amount.

[Walt]

Yeah, I mean, I, I. Yeah, I'm glad they didn't do that.

[Bryan]

That was crazy. How much, how expensive it was.

[Q]

I talked to Ming about it, and he told me they also tried to get a. A guy dressed as a. A guy stripper.

[Bryan]

A guy stripper.

[Q]

And that also is like three times too expensive, the amount of a female stripper. Now, like, the guys are making more money than the gals.

[Walt]

Good.

[Q]

Stripping.

[Walt]

Good.

[Bryan]

Nice.

[Q]

Yeah, that's Amy.

[Walt]

Well, you could go. You go see female strippers almost anywhere.

[Q]

Well, I go, no, it's not good because it's. It' another example of the patriarchy, because now guys, Girls still are not the same level as dudes, even in stripping.

[Walt]

Well, that's what happens.

[Bryan]

Unless you're a midget.

[Walt]

When the market. When the market sorts itself out, I guess sometimes it just goes that way. Sorry.

[Q]

But for years, though, it was flip flopped, I would imagine. Right. Guys were just sitting there in the

[Walt]

80s, probably, like doing lines of coke. No, no Strippers everywhere.

[Q]

No, I think that they were just struggling to get. The phone wasn't ringing for them to attend parties. Right. I guess girls are getting all the calls, but now it's kind of like it's gone. The other world has gone crazy. Now they want guys for guys.

[Walt]

Right.

[Q]

For guys, birthday parties are Getting guys strippers.

[Walt]

I mean, don't you look around the world free girl and be like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, quite a bit.

[Bryan]

Quite a bit. Every morning. As a matter of fact, we're on my Instagram. Jesus Christ. But, yeah, so there she is.

[Walt]

Attractive lady.

[Bryan]

Look how happy he is.

[Walt]

Yeah, he loves it. I love it. He's not pretending. He's like. He's not like, pretending not to be a horn dog.

[Bryan]

No, he's not.

[Q]

So what happened, though? Because, like, last Christmas, he's like, I'm slowing down. Like that somber voice. Remember, he had barely had any energy in his voice. He's like, yeah, I gotta pull it back now. I can't do the cons anymore.

[Walt]

I saw him somewhere else.

[Bryan]

I saw him pulling nothing.

[Q]

Like he, like, you thought something was seriously wrong with him. He was just like. He wouldn't, like, tell us why he was.

[Walt]

Yeah, that's right.

[Q]

Like, pulling back. And he was going to be doing cons and where he's, like, going to have a lot more time. I'm going to be home a lot more. And that was, like, for like, two days. And then it was.

[Bryan]

Yeah, it was pretty brief. And like I said from. From judging from this. This event that I was at, I mean, there's no slowing down that he was at. He was at strip clubs, playing pool, all kinds of stuff.

[Q]

Is he just, like, all. Just Red Bulls and. And Pop Rocks. I mean, is he just, like, diet at this point?

[Bryan]

He must have, like, a colostomy bag with adrenaline through it or something.

[Gideon]

Can you steal some of his blood?

[Bryan]

Yeah, I don't know how he does it, but he does it.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

So right before I went to the Jiggy Comedy Festival, my cat got sick.

[Walt]

Oh, no.

[Bryan]

Like, earlier in that week. We had to. He got sick the week before Salem.

[Walt]

Little.

[Bryan]

Little black cat. Yeah, My guy. We call him Little Man.

[Walt]

Little Man.

[Bryan]

And so on Friday, we noticed that, like, he had a puffy jaw and. And he wasn't really, like, acting his normal self. So on Monday, we brought him to the vet, we got blood work done, and they called us the next day. They're like, yeah, he has something going on with his liver. Something about Billy Rubin, which I wasn't exactly sure.

[Walt]

How old is it?

[Bryan]

He was eleven and a half.

[Walt]

Eleven?

[Bryan]

Yeah. And so they gave us a bunch of medicine on Wednesday, and I had to leave Thursday. Mary Beth and I were supposed to leave Thursday, and he was just too sick, so Mary Beth had to hang back and stay with him. And then Friday, I Got the call.

[Walt]

Oh, man.

[Bryan]

Yeah, it was.

[Walt]

That sucks, dude.

[Bryan]

It was. It was bad. And it was especially bad when I'm like, all right, let me try to go be funny now.

[Walt]

Yeah, you know, that's rough, dude.

[Bryan]

Not easy. Because he was my. He was like my Benjamin cat. He was like my guy, my little buddy. Every morning, I'll show you a picture. I'm gonna put this on Instagram, too. Worse, dude. There he is.

[Walt]

Oh, yeah, look at him.

[Bryan]

But that picture is because every morning I get up, like, probably around 6, 6:15, and I go downstairs and read. And every morning he would come downstairs and. And hang out with me. Yeah. He would sit on his pillow. Or, like, more likely he wanted to sit on my lap, which is difficult to read. And especially, like, I would put a lap desk down, and I would put a pillow down. Then I would put, like, a big hardcover book on it. And he would see that pillow and he'd be like, that's mine.

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

And he would come over and sit on it. And like, sometimes I had to, like, if the book was too big, I'm like, you can't sit on me, T. You just. You can't do it. And that was him. When he couldn't sit on me. Like, pouty and shit. And sometimes, like, one time, like, not too. Not too. Like, it was. Dude. It was every day that he would come down, and once in a while, like, if I told him he kind of sit on me, he would leave, and then he wouldn't come back the next day.

[Walt]

Like a little dickhead.

[Bryan]

Yeah, like a little dick.

[Walt]

Oh, man.

[Bryan]

And I know it's. It was. It's terrible. And I haven't been this broken up about a pet in some time. Like Princess Mitch I loved. She was a great cat. But, like, this was my guy.

[Walt]

This is your guy. Yeah.

[Bryan]

He was like. Like every. Almost every day, Mary Beth will make me, like, a bagel with bacon, egg and cheese. And he would come up and I would share it with him. He always wanted his cut. He was a fucking socialist cat. Yeah. He always wanted, like, a little piece of bacon. Or if we came home from Chili's with chicken. It was like he was one of the chicky boys.

[Walt]

It was him.

[Bryan]

Him and Norm always got a little piece of chicken. And now I gotta tell Sage.

[Walt]

Oh, she doesn't know yet.

[Bryan]

No. She came home from camping on yesterday and immediately was like, where's Salem? And I had to say that he was asleep and he was probably hiding somewhere because I'm like, we were Gonna go to. We were gonna go to see Spidey, then we were going to lunch, then we were going to the arcade. And I didn't think the way to set that off was to be like, oh, by the way.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

You know, and then after she had so much fun and she came home and she was like feeling great. I'm like, this isn't the time either.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

So I figured today I'll just at a certain point just take her aside and she's gonna be very upset.

[Walt]

Dude, I'm sorry.

[Bryan]

Cause he was so social. He was like such a. You came over.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Such a social guy.

[Walt]

Yeah. Oh man. Yeah, he was one that was kind of chill out while the other one was running away.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Princess Mitch and little cat, they hide. Even Norm hides. But Salem, the second that somebody came through that door, he was down there.

[Walt]

Oh, dude, that's a bummer.

[Bryan]

Like a. Like a dog. He would be there before Norm to greet us when we got home. Yeah, it was. It was not easy to deal with.

[Q]

It sucks. The other that like cats and dogs just can't have the life expectancy of like a tortoise.

[Bryan]

Right? Yeah.

[Q]

You know, why did tortoises get that?

[Bryan]

Fucking hardly anybody keeps a tortoise as a pet.

[Q]

Yeah. As I'm saying, it seems like it's wasted because they don't do shit.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Q]

And they don't have any personalities.

[Bryan]

No. They just sit there and fucking eat lettuce, cabbage, whatever the fuck. Really.

[Walt]

Fucking going hard on tortoises. They didn't do anything wrong here.

[Gideon]

You gotta bury them in the fall.

[Q]

What do you mean?

[Gideon]

Some. Some of them you actually have to bury them.

[Q]

You mean like so they could cool off?

[Gideon]

No, it's like turtles, right?

[Bryan]

Yeah, they like hibernate.

[Gideon]

I thought it was tortoises as well.

[Bryan]

Oh, really? I didn't know about tortoises, but I know carry salmonella.

[Q]

You know, the disease ridden filthy animal.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Q]

It gets to live 70 years.

[Walt]

It's not fair than that. Hundreds of years.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Endangered everybody around them.

[Walt]

Yeah. Maybe they could do like an island of Dr. Moreau style tortoise cat. Oh yeah.

[Q]

You don't think they're a true tortie?

[Walt]

I hope they are. Yeah, There you go.

[Q]

It's definitely off. Like you said, some island somewhere where there's no laws and regulations. You know, they're buying bio engineering.

[Walt]

I have Benjamin, like a Jurassic park

[Bryan]

type situation where they're going to do whatever the shells are. Like off the coast of Costa Rica. Yeah.

[Walt]

I. So what did you.

[Bryan]

Would you Cremate, cremated. But I don't keep the ashes. I don't. I don't like to keep them around now. But I have tons and tons of pictures. I'm gonna put them up on Instagram. If you're not following and you want to see Little man, it's. Tell him ants. T E L L E M A N T S. I'll put that up Friday. So everybody can. I have. Like, I don't have his meow because the meow was like. Like, Benjamin had good meow.

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Walt]

He talked constantly.

[Bryan]

This cat had a shitty meow.

[Walt]

He's like, yeah, Boris makes a noise.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Like this, like, raspy, husky, like, meow. But he was a good purr. So I have, like, videos, like, Purr. I'm telling you. Like, when I was reading, it was like, I loved it while he was sitting next to me.

[Walt]

And if he stopped, you would pet him. Just get him started.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Get him going. Get that motor going.

[Walt]

Rev him up.

[Gideon]

Dizzy. Dizzy. Said she'd come up. Like, when she wanted to go to sleep, she would come up and, like, sit on my lap.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Gideon]

And just start that heavy purr and be like. It's like, oh, no. Yeah. Making the biscuits. Oh, yeah.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gideon]

It's like, okay, I'm gonna go to sleep then.

[Bryan]

Oh, yeah. I was. I had written down here, too. He was my guard cat for a while. Like, when we first got Norm, he was very, like, suspicious of him. So whenever Norm came near me, he'd be like, like, yeah, yeah, that's pretty funny.

[Walt]

It's too young.

[Bryan]

Yeah, I know. Like, that's. He went down so fast. He was, like, perfectly fine. And then, like, he stopped coming in to hang out with me, and I was like, I wonder what that's all about. And then when he stopped coming up for his bacon, that's when I was like, okay, something's really wrong. Let's bring him to the vet. Brought him in there. And it didn't seem like it was that bad. Like, it didn't seem like he was. Did they figure it out? No, they never figured it out. It didn't seem like he was gonna talk. From four days. Cholesterol is off the charts,

[Walt]

Man. I'm sorry, dude.

[Q]

Yeah, it's awful.

[Bryan]

Yeah, it sucks. And, you know, immediately you're like, that's it. Never another cat. But I was thinking about it, like, not right away. I can't do it right away, but I think I might, like, eventually adopt, like, a senior cat.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

That's, you know, which is gonna Suck. Because he'll probably die before me too. But it's like, the senior cats have a hard time getting adopted, so.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

If I could find a nice black senior cat.

[Walt]

Benjamin was 8 when I got him.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Yeah. He lived at 19, so you could

[Bryan]

still get an old cat.

[Walt]

Oh, he was. Now I look at pictures of him and videos of him now, and I'm like, holy. He was decrepit again.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Hanging on, though, man.

[Walt]

We didn't ask him to do much.

[Bryan]

That's true. Yeah. You know, it did leave the lead the light.

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Just get adored like a God all day.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Jay Miller was lamenting he's never been invited to Q West.

[Walt]

Jay Miller.

[Bryan]

I told him I would put that in your ear.

[Walt]

I'd love to have him there.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bryan]

Although, I don't know, he. You may not, because he lost his voice. Yeah. He has, like, some sort. I think, something similar to, like, you had. Remember your voice.

[Walt]

Oh, I had the polyps on my.

[Bryan]

Yeah, I think he has something like that. And his. He was, like, barely above a whisper.

[Q]

Whisper.

[Walt]

Okay.

[Bryan]

The whole time.

[Walt]

Careless whisper.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Well, I mean, look, if we did it again, it would be April, so he's got time to get that cut out. Yeah. Yeah. I like Jamie.

[Bryan]

Get a voice box. Oh, yeah. He's the best.

[Walt]

He's great.

[Bryan]

Way more ants there than I thought there would be. At one point, like, you know, when we were doing the podcast, I asked, you know, how many people listen to Tom, Steve, Dave, and it was nearly universal.

[Walt]

Great.

[Bryan]

Yeah. I was very surprised because I was, like, I was kind of nervous, like, without you being there, and I'm like, this isn't really our audience, you know, so it's like, they might not get told it was your references. It really was. Yeah. I was shocked.

[Walt]

That's great.

[Bryan]

So that was. That was nice.

[Walt]

Any adventures?

[Bryan]

Any Floridian adventures or not? Unless you consider going to my room and crying an adventure.

[Walt]

I do. I do. I consider that quite a journey.

[Bryan]

Yeah. I wasn't really, like. I felt a little bad because I was not as social as I might have normally been. You know, I just. I just didn't have any.

[Walt]

Friend died, dude, what are you gonna do?

[Bryan]

And then, you know, I told Ming, and then Ming spread it around. So then everybody was coming up and be like, hey, man, I'm sor.

[Gideon]

How'd the nose go?

[Bryan]

The. The nose.

[Gideon]

Yeah. But any nose bleeding or.

[Bryan]

Oh, no, no nose bleeding. No, that was totally fine. Yeah, I. I'm pretty sure that was because I Wasn't taking blood pressure meds.

[Gideon]

Okay.

[Bryan]

I think because I laid them off of. Laid off them for like, a week prior. That was when we went down to Q Wash last time. I know. Started bleeding uncontrollably, in case you're wondering what that reference is about. I was thinking about Teddy, too. The bearded lady dog contest. Do they have to live in Key west or could Teddy join?

[Walt]

I don't know.

[Bryan]

I'll find out about the rules.

[Q]

I'll find that in a dog contest,

[Walt]

they have one every year. And then the. The. The. The dog that wins gets his picture on the wall for the year with a little. Nice little plaque. And they just started again. But I'm not.

[Q]

You don't want to. You don't want to bring that in. That, like, you know, that nepotism into your bar. The first.

[Walt]

I think it's like. I don't think I can put a finger on that scale.

[Q]

I think, though, that people are gonna be like, he wants that dog to win, you know, and then they're stuffing ballots.

[Walt]

Well, here's the thing about these dogs. Like, there are dogs a lot in the bar, so. So many of these dogs are, like, regulars.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

So Teddy might not, you know.

[Q]

Really?

[Walt]

Yeah. Yeah, he might.

[Q]

He might.

[Walt]

He might have to go down and show face. Yeah.

[Q]

He might have to press some flesh.

[Bryan]

I want it to be bigger than the election rigging scandal of the last presidency. Everybody's enraged.

[Walt]

I'll find out.

[Q]

That could turn off some locals, though, if, like, all of a sudden Teddy's

[Walt]

up there, you know, carpet bagging.

[Q]

He's never even been in the bar.

[Walt]

Maybe it's just best to separate it.

[Gideon]

He's never been in a bar.

[Walt]

How much does he need?

[Q]

He's been in bars.

[Gideon]

Oh, okay.

[Q]

Okay. Yeah.

[Bryan]

Has he?

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

What part. Forgot about that. Did you notice, Walt, when you went to see Spidey? I don't know if you noticed this about the trailers, how, like, nearly every trailer now has, like. I don't care if it's a kids movie. If it's an adult movie, it has an 80s or 70s song that's done with, like, a haunting reverb to it. Did you happen to notice that?

[Q]

I didn't notice the haunting reverb, but I've noticed that. Yeah. That. But I've noticed it for decades. Oh, that.

[Walt]

Yeah. It doesn't seem new to me that

[Bryan]

those reverb that they saw. The songs, though. Yeah.

[Q]

Are being used to promote films that, you know. You know, the studio does not give a shit. About the people who really were around when those songs were recorded.

[Bryan]

Right?

[Q]

Yeah, yeah. So it's that kind of weird kind of angle to take. You would think that they'd be pushing music that the younger generation listens to rather than like, you know, it's also fine. Young Cannibals.

[Bryan]

And you can't even. You can't even do like, Cardi B or any of this today. It's not too dirty.

[Q]

It's too dirty.

[Bryan]

Filthy. Yeah, I'm sure you got to go back versions. Aren't there the. Yeah, I'm sure they got censored versions. I mean, they have like kids bop of songs that I'm like, really? Like, sage listens to kids bop sometimes. And I'm like, this is a dirty song.

[Q]

Like you Live Crew.

[Bryan]

They changed. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

[Q]

Kids got version.

[Bryan]

Yeah, they have. You know, if it's like. If you censored a little bit and let some kids sing it, it's fine, I guess.

[Walt]

Okay. It's always worked, I guess.

[Gideon]

I notice most trailers are like. Like somebody asks a question, there's like a piano note, and then like, someone says something, and then they do that trumpet noise and then like, it ends, like, in a black and white montage. Like what you said with someone, like, everybody wants to rule the world.

[Bryan]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think. I think that they actually might have used that song on the last 28 weeks later or something. Or 28 years later.

[Gideon]

I miss the old Don Lanfontaine days. Like in a world.

[Bryan]

Oh, right. In a world where blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Q]

Yeah, yeah. When's the last time that guy had that guy's. That kind of tone or that kind of direction in a trailer was used where it's like that, you know, that stereotypical. Couldn't even tell you that movie trailer voice guy, you know, they made fun

[Walt]

of it in Tropic Thunder. That might have been the last time I heard it in those trailers in the beginning.

[Bryan]

Right.

[Q]

Yeah, you don't. You just don't really have anymore to pimp a movie.

[Walt]

Somebody will bring it back some. Somebody will be smart enough to be like, let's, let's. Let's promote this. The old.

[Q]

Some point everything comes back.

[Walt]

It'd be cool if, like, they did that for Spider man and stuff like that, you know?

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Staten island once again rises up against communism.

[Walt]

Did we?

[Bryan]

You did. I guess you weren't there for the rally. The mandami got booed off stage. He was up there for less than a minute.

[Walt]

That doesn't and people.

[Bryan]

I watched the footage. It was hysterical.

[Walt]

Really?

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

These are people who really do not like this guy. They make no bones about it. They're like, you Commie, get the fuck out of here. Like, Staten island is the bastard stepchild of the city. Go fuck yourself. We don't need you. We don't want you. We want to secede. Just go away.

[Q]

You guys want to come to Jersey or. Be your own thing?

[Walt]

I think. Be our own thing. I. I don't want to succeed. I'm like, this guy will be around three more years, you know?

[Q]

But you guys wanted to.

[Walt]

They tried everything. It never makes sense to me, but I don't know.

[Bryan]

Well, then you would lose all, like, the city funding and all that, right?

[Walt]

Like, yeah, but we pay high taxes already, so we just shifted over to Staten Island. I think it's doable, but, I mean, it's just. Who wants to do it, right?

[Q]

Pain.

[Bryan]

Ass. Yeah. You wonder how much difference would it make?

[Walt]

It's like, you live long enough to see the cycle where it's like, the city will fucking Mandami's not gonna help the city get better. It'll get shittier and shittier. And then eventually people get frustrated and they'll vote in another Bloomberg or.

[Q]

Or.

[Walt]

You know what I mean? A Giuliani who was a mayor was awesome. And then. Then they'll start getting better again. It's just the. The eternal cycle. People get it too good, they start getting soft, and everything goes to shit.

[Bryan]

There you go.

[Walt]

It doesn't matter to me anymore.

[Bryan]

You don't care.

[Q]

I don't care at all.

[Walt]

Well, I got another 25, 30 years to live.

[Bryan]

That's a lot of. That's a lot of potential commie mayors.

[Walt]

All I need is for, like. All I need is for, like, no nuclear bombs to go off the next 30 years.

[Bryan]

That's it.

[Walt]

After that. After that, I'm fine. I don't care what happens after that. I just want to be old in the apocalypse, you know, if we're gonna happen, like, if it happened 10 years ago, I could be like, oh, I could be a warlord or a ruler of some sort as a young man. But now I'm just like.

[Bryan]

See, I think more along the lines, and I think I've reached that age, and I might have even reached the age a long time ago where nobody's counting on me to do anything.

[Walt]

Yeah, but I would have wanted to do something. Like, if society broke down.

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Walt]

I would have been like, all right, I'm gonna claim Staten Island. As my own, I'll be the warlord. We'll blow the bridges, you know, Now

[Bryan]

I'm just like, you know what? Thinking back to you in your 20s, I can see that happening.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Walt]

You know, whether I succeeded or not, that's what I would have wanted to do. Now I just. I just want society to hold.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Hold. Yeah. Just hold a little bit more, guys. You could it all up after I'm gone.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Must mention. Tell me, tell. Oh, why am I obsessed with Ridge? You know Ridge. They make amazing power. Banks, wallets, luggage, and premium everyday gear. Ridge is back with their legendary sweepstakes for the sixth year and it's bigger than ever. The sweepstakes runs from July 24 through September 8. Tony Hawk, my buddy from L. A is the official spokesperson this year, so you already know, this one is going to be insane.

[Q]

I'd love to meet Tony Hawk.

[Bryan]

Would you?

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

I met him at the. The pop. The Funko pop documentary.

[Q]

Seems like a cool premiere.

[Bryan]

He was very nice. He was a very friendly guy. Two lucky winners. I'm curious to see what you guys would take out of this. Two lucky winners will get to choose between or actually amongst.

[Q]

I'd like to show Tony how I Ollie.

[Bryan]

Really? Would you?

[Q]

Yeah, I'd like to see him critique my. Ollie.

[Bryan]

I've known you for quite a while. I've never seen you ollie before.

[Q]

It's not great.

[Bryan]

It's not a good one.

[Q]

It's kind of clunky.

[Bryan]

Give me some pointers.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Gideon]

If by ollie do you mean your grandson. This is Oliver.

[Bryan]

You could pick a Lamborghini Huracan Stirrado, a Ford Hennessey Velociraptor, a souped up ford Bronco, or $100,000 in cash. So what do you pick?

[Walt]

I mean, it's just. Take the cash. I always take the cash.

[Bryan]

I would take the cash. Like, the only one I'm pretty sure I know what it is, is the Bronco.

[Walt]

Right.

[Bryan]

The other two, I'm not even sure what they are. I mean, they're obviously very fancy cars.

[Walt]

Take the 100 grand, you're going to lose 40% of it right off the bat. But you're sitting on 60%. Nice and easy, you know?

[Bryan]

But unless you buy, unless you choose a Lamborghini and then turn around and sell it, they're going to.

[Walt]

They're going to bang you on taxes with the Lamborghini.

[Bryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Walt]

They're not. They're not fucking giving that to you tax free. So you think.

[Gideon]

I think Lamborghini have to ask permission to sell them, don't you?

[Bryan]

Oh, do you?

[Gideon]

Or is that Ferrari?

[Bryan]

Oh, yeah, yeah. If you buy, you have to go and talk to the, to the company about like if you want to sell it, if the person is worthy of buying it.

[Gideon]

Like a prestige thing.

[Walt]

Oh, you too?

[Q]

Oh, imagine having to pass that test.

[Bryan]

I don't think I would pass it. I don't even know what the, I don't even know what their.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

What are their, their standards are, but

[Q]

I'm pretty sure they all got a rich guy. And there's like, you can't dress in sweatpants. I bet you, you gotta.

[Bryan]

Yeah, you show up to get your Lamborghini track pants, they're like, nope, you

[Q]

gotta wear your Amarni tracksuit.

[Bryan]

Right.

[Gideon]

Was that Italian sportswear that Norwegian? The Norwegian forward from the world's World Cup. Like, they, they showed him a bag. Now the Norwegian one, the rig, the big giant Norse guy, he, he was, he was. They had a picture of him coming off the plane with a bag. And apparently that bag you cannot buy. You literally have to go and create a relationship with a, an ambassador. And then they eventually term if you can actually buy one of these bags.

[Q]

That's a crazy world. Bizarre fucking planet for a bag.

[Bryan]

Let's see. Have you ever driven a sports car? What do you currently drive?

[Gideon]

You drive a sports car?

[Bryan]

A little bit, I guess, right? Yeah, I guess you would consider.

[Walt]

I rented a Porsche once.

[Bryan]

Did you? How was it? Was it fun?

[Walt]

Yeah, I went up to Moses house and I. It was like a two hour drive. So I was like, yeah, fuck it, drive a Porsche. 400 bucks for a convertible for the day. I was like, you know, what am I working for? It was awesome.

[Bryan]

Was it fun?

[Walt]

Yeah. I would never buy one, but it was awesome. It was like, I would look, I would just be cruising, I'd look down, I'm doing like 109. It just felt like nothing. It was awesome. But you know me, I'm driving my 10 year old Wrangler.

[Bryan]

There you go.

[Walt]

Keep it real, bro.

[Bryan]

You keep it r. Keep it on the R. Let's see, there's only 1500 Lamborghini Huracan Sterratos that exist. And if Ridge is giving you a chance to win one, own one. Oh, and Ridge, if giving you the chance to own one, I think they mean is. The Lambo is the world's first off road supercar. It's a naturally aspirated V10 and 610 horsepower. Can you imagine driving this thing around town. No, I can't. The Velociraptor also has an insane 50558 horsepower twin turbo. An American muscle car put into an all terrain truck. The custom made Bronco is coated in scratch resistant kevlar armor and is riding on a massive 37 inch off road tires. And the best part is you can enter completely [e-mail] and there's no reason not to enter. So why not take your shot?

[Gideon]

How many inches was that?

[Bryan]

37. Snoo guns. You're right. And if you want to boost your chances, you can earn additional entries by picking up Ridge gear during the sweepstakes. Whether it's a power bank, wallet, luggage or something extra. Something else you have your eye on. Your extra entries with your purchase give you extra chances to win.

[Gideon]

Those titanium Ridge wallets look really nice.

[Bryan]

They sure do. You pull that out, people. People look.

[Walt]

Yeah, people think you got a Lamborghini.

[Bryan]

They look like you're like you need to talk to somebody. If you want to get one of these Ridge wallets, you can't just get

[Walt]

one, can't just order them. You can't just put in the code TESD and get a discount.

[Bryan]

Nope. Ready? Upgrade your wallet and maybe your ride. For a limited time only, head to ridge.com and use code TE- at checkout for 10% off your order and a chance to win Ridge's biggest sweepstakes ever. The Lamborghini Huracan Sterrato, a Hennessey Velociraptor, a ford Bronco or 100,000 in cash. No purchase necessary to enter but every dollar you spend gets you more entries. That's ridge.com and use TESD as the code. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them that. Tell them Steve Dave sent you. All right, here's some a little bit of boner talk here. This episode is sponsored by Bluechew. Make everyday hump day with Bluechew Gold. There's your girl giving you the look. Well be ready when she is with Blue Chew Gold or Bluetooth Gold's arousal boosting formula. That's right, I said arousal boosting. That means Bluechew Gold gets both heads in the game. Remember that scene in the Wolf of Wall street when Leo says I'm not leaving? That's your boner on Bluechew. Bluechew Gold says stays active in your system for up to 36 hours. That's a long weekend, big dog. That's rounds one, two and three. Make sure. I don't know. I don't want to talk ill about the sponsor, but even with Bluechew Gold, I don't know if I'm going three rounds anymore.

[Walt]

I mean, what's left after two rounds?

[Bryan]

I gotta tell you, man. 58, after one round, you're still a young man. 58. One round you're like, okay, where's my pillow? Let's see. Maybe apologize to your neighbors for the noise. We don't know. But what you do know is that Bluechew is trusted by over 5 million men. And that's a lot of hard nights. So measure your days not in minutes or hours, but in boners and rounds when you're with your woman with Blue Chew Gold. Blue Chew Gold is better sex than a tablet. They combine four ingredients. The one, powerful solution. The ingredients get you hard physically, and two, support arousal and desire in the brain. It works fast. And last. Guys. Guys have a complete experience in the bedroom with Bluechew Gold. There's a Bluechew. There's a reason Bluechew is the number one brand for better sex. Experience it [e-mail] and here's the special deal for listeners. When you buy two months of Bluetooth Gold, you get a third month free with promo code TESD. That's promo code TEESD. You will get an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast and the bedroom.

[Walt]

I bet you if you were a single man and you connected with some hot young thing, you could get. I think the novelty for the first. The first few times you'd be able to do three times in a night

[Bryan]

instead of my old bag wife.

[Walt]

Well, I don't want to say it like that, but, you know, get some strange. You know, get you. Get you going.

[Bryan]

I think that could be it because I do know that it is rather routine in the bedroom. It's just like, really? Same move, same position, same sort of.

[Walt]

Gotta try and switch it up.

[Bryan]

Gotta try to switch it up a little.

[Walt]

You guys, like, watch porn or something like that?

[Bryan]

No, neither of us are big porn watchers.

[Walt]

But even just to get the.

[Bryan]

Yeah, I think she'd be like, ew, I don't want to watch this.

[Walt]

Why? Those two dudes kissing? Come on.

[Bryan]

This will get you horny.

[Walt]

Speaking of aging, I got a heart monitor on.

[Bryan]

Get out. You do?

[Walt]

Yeah, monitoring my heart.

[Bryan]

What's going on, man?

[Walt]

I got. I. Last week I got really Dizzy and a pounding headache that lasted for fucking days. It was God awful, you know, And I was not panicked about it, but I was a little worried about it because anything with my brain, ever since the stroke, I always, Even though it's 10 years now, and I went and they couldn't, they couldn't track down what it was. So a spattery of tests, it's everything. So we did find that my cholesterol is basically like, I got. I'm not gonna go. I should go myself. Yeah, it's. I have like the worst cholesterol.

[Bryan]

I'm sharing bacon with you every morning.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

Also they're gonna. You have to put you on some sort of meds.

[Walt]

They put me on a statin. I'm gonna try and, and change my lifestyle a little bit, get a little healthier.

[Bryan]

What is it that they say is causing the cholesterol? Do you eat a lot of, like, fatty?

[Walt]

I think it's like a genetic disposition towards it anyway. And then I don't eat bad, but I also don't watch what I eat. You know what I mean? And I think I'm just at that time where they're like, this is it, dude.

[Bryan]

Right?

[Walt]

Like, this is, this is the moment you've been dreading your entire life.

[Q]

So what does that entail, you think where you say you're gonna start making lifestyle changes. What are the, what are the big three things you think you need to alter?

[Walt]

I've been walk cooking every day. I've been trying to build a habit of like getting those 10,000 steps in every day. I'm gonna get back into the gym as soon as we wrap this season, which is any day now, and just eating better. And just eating better again. I don't eat bad. I really don't, but I. I could eat better. You know, I'm Italian, so a lot of pastas, a lot of breads and like that. And that's the stuff that gets your cholesterol. But it was a scary week. It was. It was a. Yeah, it was kind of a scary week.

[Q]

Do you drink a lot of water?

[Walt]

Drink a lot of water?

[Gideon]

Drink.

[Q]

I've never seen you drink water, though. Yeah, never, Never see him as long as I known him. I've never seen you on most of the. I've never been in your presence. You've drank water.

[Walt]

That's not true at all.

[Q]

I'm telling you. I drink water here all the time.

[Walt]

I drink water almost every episode.

[Bryan]

Shit.

[Gideon]

Every.

[Q]

Listen, every time we leave. Every time these guys leave after we record you put in, you put back three unopened bottles.

[Walt]

Oh, no, I drink water. I drink water. Water drinks. Whether you've seen it or not, it's not okay.

[Gideon]

I was actually surprised. He is not drinking something.

[Q]

Yeah, I'm, I'm not surprised because I never see him drink it.

[Walt]

Yeah, but, but it was a scary week, you know?

[Q]

So how long you got the monitor on for?

[Walt]

One more day.

[Q]

One more day.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

Are they, are they monitoring it like 247 where you.

[Walt]

No, no, they're just getting like a, they're just getting a baseline to see what's going on with, in there with the old ticker. And then, and then they'll get the

[Q]

readings and then they'll bring you in. They'll be like, according to the readings. Yeah, but you gotta start.

[Walt]

Well, no, I think pasta, they're just gonna be like, no, that's already done. The cholesterol has already it. I think they just want to make sure it wasn't like a heart attack or something like that.

[Q]

Oh, really? Did you have any pains?

[Walt]

Not my chest, but you can just get dizzy and nauseous and.

[Q]

Are you sweaty? Yeah. Really?

[Walt]

Yeah, really sweaty. It was, it was awful.

[Bryan]

I think it might have been like a panic attack or.

[Walt]

No, no, no. Season's ending, man. That's usually when a trip. Trip. Tripping the light fantastic. Although to be fair, this season's been the Easy. I can't believe it's over already. It went so fast.

[Bryan]

Yeah, it didn't seem to go fast.

[Walt]

It's been so. It was so. It was a great season. It was, it was a lot of fun.

[Bryan]

Yeah, that's good.

[Walt]

The most fun I've had in years with it. So I don't think it was stress or anything like that, but I don't know. So we gotta take it off. But there's been. No, I haven't done anything to up my heart rate.

[Q]

Oh,

[Walt]

I do like porn. Right,

[Gideon]

so.

[Q]

Well, the doc said no, the doc

[Walt]

didn't say keep it sheath. The doc didn't say that. But I just know when they see those spikes come at like 11 o' clock at night or whatever, like, you know, they're gonna know what's going on. And I'm like, let me just sheath

[Bryan]

it up for the weeks they're at the hospital. Be like, this guy never gets.

[Walt]

There's been no love in solo or.

[Q]

Really?

[Walt]

Yeah, yeah. For a week.

[Q]

You are scared. Because I can't. I, I, I don't love it unless the doctor says, like, don't Partake in that.

[Bryan]

America's horn dog.

[Walt]

I don't like it.

[Q]

Like, even if it's tender, maybe you don't have to go crazy with the lassos and the whips and everything. Can you just do like a.

[Walt]

Like, that's why I didn't go see Spider Man. It would raise my heart rate.

[Q]

Just hold someone's hand in two different tubs, Keep it real low key.

[Bryan]

And

[Walt]

I might. So when it hasn't been made easy on me either. I'm just saying.

[Q]

So when do you think you'll be able to get back?

[Walt]

Well, this comes off. This comes off today.

[Q]

And then you think you're. But are you. Have you have any lingering? Like. Like, I don't. I don't know if I'm ready to get back on the horse.

[Walt]

No. Balls deep by midnight. And what a way to go. If I do die,

[Q]

you're not going to get in your own head. You don't think you'd be like, I'm getting too excited.

[Bryan]

Let me.

[Q]

Let me slow it down here. Let me think of.

[Bryan]

Do you hear me?

[Walt]

No. No. It does light up. Did it light up?

[Bryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Q]

It didn't light up. You better get to the hospital.

[Walt]

That was green before. Yeah. Oh, what a bummer.

[Q]

Oh, man.

[Walt]

It's just. Just getting old, man.

[Bryan]

Just.

[Walt]

Just.

[Q]

Yeah, that's. That's the.

[Walt]

No way around it. Yeah.

[Bryan]

I woke up this morning with a hurt hand. Don't know how it happened. I don't know if, like, maybe I was like. Like you have your head, like, head in your hand. Like, maybe I was sleeping like that, but it feels like somebody pounded on it with a hammer all day. So far it hasn't gone away.

[Walt]

Is it like carpal tunnel maybe?

[Bryan]

No, I don't think so. I think it's just like you say. It's just like you're old and suddenly you wake up one morning and it's like, oh, my neck won't move. Yeah.

[Gideon]

Can't feel my feet.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

And the doctor did not spare. I mean, she said things like. She's like. She said things like, you look like you eat pizza.

[Q]

And I was like, what is someone who look. Looks like who eats pizza? Everybody eats pizza.

[Walt]

I think she was taking a real tough love approach on me.

[Gideon]

Wal feels targeted there.

[Walt]

Yeah. So, yeah, I got a little shamed. I got a little shame.

[Bryan]

You say, what a way to dig at somebody. Like, you look at. You eat pizza. It's like, well, I do. But hey, wait a.

[Gideon]

It's New York.

[Walt]

The Ninja Turtles. But yeah, so it's, it's in the mess. I'm. I'm confident. Like it was hopefully just a virus thing. They did a blood test. There was no white blood cell raised in my body, but nothing came up. So I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. But it was a nerve wracking week.

[Bryan]

Yeah, you can't go, man. I just lost my. My feline buddy. I can't lose my human buddy.

[Walt]

I don't want to go yet.

[Bryan]

Too young.

[Walt]

Yeah, yeah, give me that.

[Q]

They'll figure it out. They'll get you.

[Walt]

Yeah, I'm not really that worried. It was, it was scary that week, but

[Q]

dizzy when you stood up, or dizzy just all the time.

[Walt]

It was. I was actually on camera and I just started sweating. Fucking. I was doing Hazardous history, that show that I'm sitting there talking to the camera and suddenly I just started buckets of sweat and I was just like. My head just started pounding and I was like, we gotta wrap this up. I can't. I can't even fucking continue. But we were done anyways, it turned out, so it wasn't a problem. But yeah, and then, and then the head was just pounding for days and I don't really get headaches really. So it was, it was, it was a rough one shooting.

[Bryan]

Scary too. Like suddenly just. That just happens and you're like, why is this happening?

[Walt]

Yeah, yeah. And it was. We were shooting four days that week, so I was like, I gotta try and be funny on camera. All this headache's going. So it might be a dud episode coming out later this year where I look like I'm dying.

[Gideon]

This is the headache episode.

[Walt]

Yeah, yeah. But. Yeah. Fucking scary, man.

[Bryan]

Hello, everyone. Sorry for the interruption, but due to Q's early exit today to go see Spider man, we had to end the show a little bit sooner than we might have. Which means I had two spots that were left over. So as soon as I knock them out, we'll get right back to the show. This message is sponsored by Raycon. With Back to School season here, we've been thinking about one thing that we really wish we'd had back when we were in school. Raycon's everyday earbuds classic. Whether you're heading back to school yourself or shopping for a student, these are a great back to school essential. The active noise cancellation is perfect for tuning out distractions when you're studying at the library, working on assignments, or trying to focus between classes. They sound amazing. They're comfortable to wear and we've been loving them. They're 20% off right now if you want to check them out. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds are packed with upgrades. They've got active noise cancellation multi point connectivity so you can pair with two devices at once and a super comfortable ergonomic design that stays put no matter what you're doing. The new colors are awesome. Personally, I'm into black. You can also get Blush Violet or Cool Mint or a couple others. I guess we haven't seen earbuds in that shade before and they feel like an accessory that actually fits us. And here's the kicker. Raycon delivers the same premium audio quality as the big brands, but at half the price. Add in over 3 million happy customers and a 3 day no way 30 day happiness guarantee and there's zero reason to overpay up to 32 hours of battery life with the case. Quick charge function 10 minutes gives you 90 minutes of play time. And there's an awareness mode so when you're out walking the dog or running errands or crossing train tracks, you're not going to get smushed. You know, it lets you hear what's happening around you while still enjoying your podcast. Which better be Tell them Steve Dave let's see, the Everyday Earbuds classics are the perfect back to school companion. So go to buyraycon.com te-d to get 5050 my bad. 20% off. That's go to buyraycon.come-d to get 20% off thanks to Raycon for sponsoring the podcast this summer. I'm not really going that many places. I don't have that many travel plans. They're slowing down, but my obligations aren't. We need to get back to eating real food and Factor makes that easy. Especially when you're on the go. Factor makes Kraft oh my God, I can't read. Factor makes Chef Kraft a dietitian design ready to eat meals so that you don't have to choose between real food and convenience. With over 175 banned ingredients, every Factor meal is designed around what supports a healthier lifestyle and nothing that doesn't. Factor meals are ready in two minutes and require no prep and no cleanup. So even on the days your schedule is completely out of control, eating well is still achievable. Every week you'll find over 100 nutrient dense menu items to choose from and new options like salmon burgers, shredded pork, collard greens and more. Plus additions that you'll crave like pumpkin flavored cheesecake and protein shakes. 97% of users agree that factor meals help them eat a healthier, lead a healthier life. So you can feel confident that you're doing something good for yourself with every meal. Mary Beth makes this. I like it. Let me see. Let me see if I can find out what she sent me this week or what she made this week. I actually made a list of it. I wrote it down. Let's see. I'm sorry to waste everybody's time like this, but it was. Let's see. How am I supposed to remember this? Goo coo jang Korean style salmon with gukujang sauce, truffle butter, filet mignon, parmesan rice and pork tenderloin. All right, what more do you need to know? So let's head, let's head over to FactorMeals.com TESD50OFF. Use your code TESD50OFF to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until October 31, 2026. That's code TE SD50OFF at FactorMeals.com T E S D oh, sorry. FactorMeals.com [e-mail] See website for more details.

[Q]

Some sad stories about doordashing.

[Bryan]

Really?

[Q]

Yeah, they're bummers. No or no?

[Bryan]

No. It's more of a bummer than no.

[Q]

It's not that bad, but it's pretty. So I was over at. I don't know if you. I don't know if you know where Stewart's is in Madeline, but yeah, yeah, I do. So over there with. We, we went over there to eat dinner and then me and Deb and Teddy were gonna dash after we're done eating and my wife wanted to leave a tip and she asked me if I had any change. And I went my pocket and I had only singles and a 10 and she, she needed a five. And so that's. This is part, this is important to part of the story because I had a $10 bill in my pocket and I knew it. So we get, we're done eating and we turn on the app and we get one. The first one that comes in. It's the lowest offer I've ever gotten. $2.65. But it was like literally the plaza. I could see the plaza from where we're eating. And I said, I'm not doing it for $2.60. I said, it's not worth it or $2.85, whatever it was. And she says, well, if I decline it, it's going to bring Your rating down to a point where you're. You'll lose even the silver status. And I was like. And she said, it only will take five minutes to do the whole order. It says. And I was like, all right, I'll do it. I said, I'll just do it. It's right here. And the place I got delivered to is right down the street. It's. It says it's like six minutes away. The whole thing should take six minutes right now.

[Bryan]

How many levels are there? Because you said you're going to be demoted.

[Q]

Yeah, it would be demoted. Like, I wouldn't even be silver anymore. So I would have. Like, I would have to. It would mean, like, I have to schedule my. My appointments when I want to dash then. So that's annoying because then it's like I have to wait for every hour on the hour and not just do it when I want to do it. So I was like, for okay, $2.85, I'll do it immediately. Like, after I hit fucking okay, I start fucking regretting it as the lady. It's some lady. As Lee starts fucking sending messages. Like, now, granted, I'm a little fucking agitated that I had to take this order anyway, though. But now you start sending me messages like, don't forget my ranch. I'm like, I'm already a little on the edge. Like. Like, if you don't say please or thank you, it's really annoying because I'm like, of course you're paying me less than $3 to do this. You could at least throw in a thank you or please. I don't even respond to the message. And then again, before I even get in there, because I walked there from the parking lot. I could walk from the parking lot from Storch to where I had to pick it up. Don't forget my ranch. Another message. And I was like, this bitch is going to be a pain in the ass. I said, so I'm definitely going to say to the kid, does this have ranch in the bag? I get there, and immediately it's a clusterfuck where he's like, it's not ready yet. And I'm like, okay. So I'm just sitting there waiting, waiting. To the kid, I'm like, what's going on? He goes, yeah, we. We forgot to put it in. He goes, we're making it right now. So I'm like, the whole time now I have to wait for her for now. I can't do anything. I can't make any money because I'm waiting for her order. So then he says, it's ready. It's like 15, 16 year old kid. And I said, doesn't this come with a drink? I said. He goes, oh, yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. He gives me the drink and then, and then I go, this has ranch in it, right? Because I can't open a bag. He goes, this has ranch in it, right? He goes, yep, it's got ranch. I go, you sure? I said, he goes, yeah. So I go deliver it. And when I get to the place, it's from the outside, it doesn't look like. But it's a nursing home, okay? So I walk into the building and to the left of me is there's a counter, but there's no nurse there. There's elevators. And on the wall you could tell it's a nursing home because there's all pictures of, I guess the attendance with the patients. We treat every patient like a flower kind of nonsense on the golden board,

[Walt]

some fucking flower, withering, dying flower.

[Q]

And so I'm like, well, what do I do? I think, where do I leave it? Because I need to get a PIN number for it. So I have to have somebody give me this number before I can leave it. And I get a message, it says, you're in the wrong area. And I was like, where do I go? I type back. She said, I pinned where you have to go. And I don't know what that means. I pinned it. I pinned my location. She goes. I go, I don't know what that means. All right? She goes, I'm in the back. And like, again, I am taking it a little bit more personal because I'm like, motherfucker, this is like $3. And you're like, never once are you being nice. In the text it feels like. So I'm walking around the parking lot, I'm trying to find it by looking at my phone. I pull my phone out of my pocket, important, and I go to the back. I finally find another entrance and there's some lady at the counter who literally just throws up a fucking post. It doesn't even look at me with the PIN number. Before I can even say anything, she just puts the post it in my face with the PIN number. I was like, oh, thank you. And I complete it. I give it to the lady at the counter. It's not even her though, that's taking it. She's just the, I guess, what do you call it? The receptionist.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Q]

So I'm walking back and I see in the parking lot, I see this lady with her two sons, they're like 12 and 15, and they're looking at something on the ground. And the mother's holding the kid back. And I like, I see something on the ground. My eyes aren't the greatest, but I know they're looking at something on the ground. And I say to myself from far away, I'm like, that looks like they're looking at money. And then they kind of disappear, like in between the cars. Like they go their way and they didn't pick it up. So I walk over to it, and It's a fucking $10 bill. And I'm like, sure enough, I look in my pocket. When I picked my phone out of my pocket, it fell out. That's my $10 bill, right? So I pick it up. And as I pick it up, that lady pops out of the fucking between the cars. Like, I saw it first. I saw that first. And I look at her and I start to weigh. I'm like, she's never gonna believe me. I'm like, yeah, this is my ten dollar bill. I go, she's never gonna believe it. I wouldn't believe it if somebody's like, yeah, yeah, I dropped this. I'd be like. So I said, well, why didn't you pick it up? I said, it's because I thought it had fentanyl on does.

[Bryan]

Oh, baby, I'm feeling good.

[Q]

As I look at it. I go, I hope it doesn't.

[Bryan]

I said,

[Q]

and she goes, And I go, yeah, because that's why I didn't pick it up. I was afraid it had fentanyl on it. I go, yeah, too late, I guess, for me then hopefully it doesn't. I said, I kind of just keep walking. She goes, I saw it first. She goes. I'm like, I can't see her faces because I have my back to her. So I'm like, I just turn around and I go, do you want it here? Cause I don't want it now.

[Bryan]

Probably is your fentanyl all over it?

[Q]

And I'm just sitting there going like, this is like, if she takes it, I'm down $7 now. But I'm and argue with her because I know she'll never believe me. Yeah, I'm like, here. I go, take it. I'm giving it to her. She goes, no, no, no, no, don't touch it. She's going to the kids. So I just turn around like, I ain't got time for this. I just keep walking. I'm gonna tell Deb when I get back in the car. You Won't ever believe this. And then Deb goes, that lady just fucking texted you. She goes, God damn it, you fucking forgot my ranch. This ain't even the best part. So I'm furious because I'm like, I'm not even mad at her. I'm like, she's got to call that burger place, I said, and fucking read them the riot act to that idiot at the counter. I said, because I fucking asked that moron twice if the ranch was in there.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Gideon]

I'm not.

[Q]

Like, she has every right to be pissed off.

[Walt]

Sure.

[Q]

And I said, tell her. And then tell her to call the place and tell them that they forgot the ranch because I specifically said. Tell her. I specifically said I asked for the ranch. Deb just writes, I asked the kid for the ranch. And then she writes back, I hate myself, I want to die.

[Walt]

Jesus Christ.

[Bryan]

Are you listening to Nirvana?

[Q]

Yeah. I'm like, I'm looking at Deb. She's reading this. I'm like, it really says that. She goes, I hate myself, I want to die. I hate living in this place. My life is horrible. So I just write back. I'm like, I'm gonna go get the ranch. Okay.

[Walt]

I mean, what else could you do? I would have gotten the ranch.

[Q]

I'm right here. I'm like, I'm only two minutes away. I'll be back with the ranch. So I start. Start driving to go get the ranch. And I'm already preparing. Like, I'm going there. I'm gonna lambaste that at the counter because I'm like, I specifically said, did you have the ranch? And then before I can even get there, she writes back, hey, hun, they gave me ranch from downstairs. God bless you. I got my ranch. So I'm like, do I go now? Spend more time fucking arguing on behalf of her or just fucking go about and try to fucking.

[Walt]

You're done at that point. Yeah.

[Q]

So I'm like, fuck it, forget it. But. Oh, it's fucking.

[Walt]

That it's rough.

[Gideon]

Yeah.

[Q]

It was just like the most Charlie Brown of fucking things.

[Bryan]

And, like, it's such a fucking Karen move too. It's like, if you don't want the $10, then leave me the fuck Al. What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you?

[Q]

Yeah, but like, I knew in my heart, though, there's no way she would ever believe me that this was my $10 that I had just dropped like 2 seconds earlier when I was walking through the parking lot.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Yeah.

[Q]

But she. She was so mad That I was dumb enough to pick it up at her cost, though, because I guess eventually she was gonna go get something, pick it up, maybe a handkerchief or a glove or something. And I didn't give her the opportunity.

[Walt]

Something similar happened to me recently. I was at a urinal taking a piss and my phone vibrated. So I was like, all right, I'll take it out. I took it out on a $5 bill, went to the floor right, you know, right at the base of the urinal. And I was like, I can't pick that up.

[Q]

I can't.

[Walt]

It's. It's in piss. I'm looking at it. It's in piss. But it didn't feel good. Like there was a fucking whole debate in my head. I'm like, do I get that $5 with a tissue? Wash it off in the sink? But it was in piss. So I left the.

[Gideon]

It.

[Walt]

I left it.

[Gideon]

I start following Q around.

[Q]

Yeah, I found something.

[Walt]

If it was $20, I probably would have figured it out, but I let $5 go and then I had it. That's rough. I mean, the worst part of the story is her.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Being so miserable in her life that she can't stop herself from being like, I hate it.

[Bryan]

Touching a total stranger.

[Q]

And during it, I wish I had screenshot the messages because they disappear right on the app. And. But I was. We were. Me and my wife were just like, yeah, that's rough. We gotta get her the most ranch she's ever gotten. We gotta get her a bucket of ranch. A tub.

[Walt]

I hope that ending doesn't come for me. Just alone in a room, fuckin ranching out.

[Q]

But I could just tell from the. From the person downstairs, they don't treat every patient like a flower

[Gideon]

by the

[Q]

way they treated me. I was like, I gotta feel it.

[Walt]

You a potential patient.

[Gideon]

Mr. Q can't have race. Too high in his cholesterol. Take it from the bag.

[Walt]

Kill me now.

[Q]

And I got another one. That was just brutal.

[Gideon]

Do you.

[Q]

It's in Hazlet. There's an Italian ice place. And it was 10 bucks. And I was like, 10 bucks? That's a lot just to deliver Italian ice. So I took it on a Sunday in the middle of the afternoon, and turns out I had to go all the way to Long Branch. I didn't look at it because at 10 bucks just kind of like, yeah, take it. 10 bucks. Had to go all the way to Long Ranch in the summer.

[Bryan]

This is from Haslett. Okay. So if you're not familiar with the area, you're talking about probably 15 miles.

[Q]

Yeah. But in traffic, with summer traffic, right?

[Bryan]

Summer traffic.

[Q]

Yeah, beach traffic.

[Bryan]

Because there's what, something called the Seabright strip, which is one lane either way, and that's where all the beach traffic goes. So you're fucking backed up for sure.

[Q]

Yeah. So I'm like, what are you gonna do? I mean, I took it, and I'm getting. I start getting messages from this person much different, saying like, hey, thank you so much for taking my order. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Then she starts saying that she's going in for surgery tomorrow, and she really wanted this. This sherbert or ice, whatever it is. And I'm like, I just tell her. And, like, Deb's like, what do I say? I just. Like, you could just put, like, an emoji, like, happy face or something. Or, like, no problem. And I was like, I'll be there soon, you know? And so then she writes, hey, can you come up and deliver it to my room? I'll give you a massive tip.

[Walt]

Oh, homeboy's getting.

[Gideon]

How's your liver dealing?

[Q]

And I'm like, deliver it to her room. And so then we googled the address, and it was at the hospital. So it's somebody in a hospital. And I was like, oh, I can't take a tip from somebody in the hospital. I said, this is enough. I'm not taking the tip. I said, there's no way she tries to give me a tip. I'm not going to take it. I'm like, I'll definitely go up to the room. I don't care. And I said, so she would just write back, no problem. I'll deliver it up to the room. And she's like, awesome. You're so sweet. You're gonna get a big tip. But I really didn't. It's like, it wasn't a factor at all in this.

[Walt]

And why are you, like Robin Hood, fucking giving away money at every.

[Q]

Because she's in hospital. She's going in for surgery. I don't know. I just was like, I don't need. Like, to me, I'm like, going up that extra in an elevator and dropping it off there somewhere is not a big deal.

[Walt]

You're not asking for it. She's offering it. Yes.

[Bryan]

And you also are a soft touch because, like, when you go to a place like a trailer park, you're like, they can't afford it. Let me just take it out of my pocke.

[Q]

We get there fucking seemingly. It takes forever to get there. I'm finally there, I go in and the lady at the counter is just like. I tell who I'm there to visit, and they're like, you need an id. So I knew I do have my id. I gotta go back out to the car. All the way back out to the car, which was like, parked a mile away. And come back in. And then they're like, oh, you're here for Doordash. Doordash just can't go upstairs.

[Walt]

Oh, God.

[Bryan]

Jesus Christ.

[Q]

And I was like, why? And she goes, because Doordash is just like, leave it here and we'll bring it up to him. I go, it's fucking ice cream. I said, it's Italian ice. I go, it's probably. It's been in a car for almost an hour. I said, at this point, if it doesn't get up there now, it's going to be soup. I was like. She looks. I go, she asked me to bring it up. I said. And I show her the messages. She goes, okay. She lets me go up and I. The sprawling fucking corridors of a hospital. I'm like, I get lost a million fucking different times.

[Walt]

Kim, you've got to remind me, please, before I come next week to bring those fucking glasses with the cameras for Walter. The fact that we're not documenting this is criminal.

[Q]

So I finally find the way.

[Gideon]

City security camera going down the city hallway.

[Walt]

Something from the X Files. What the fuck is this guy doing?

[Q]

And it's really weird because there's nobody in the hospital on a Sunday afternoon. Like, it's just deserted. And so there's nobody to ask if I'm going, right. Well, I finally get to the right wing, I'm looking for the room, and there's a nurse outside the room. And I said, is this room such and such? And she goes, yes. And I go, am I allowed in there? And because I have a delivery. And she goes, sure. And I go in, it's just some 20 something year old girl. She's reading the book. She looks miserable and she could barely even say like, thank you or anything. So I just said, I'm just gonna leave it on the counter, all right? And she just shakes her head yes. And then I hear her say, like a faint whisper to the nurse, can you put this in ice? It's ice cream. And I just left. And again, I never wanted a tip, though. But she never gave a tip, though. She just wanted that ice cream brought up to her. But. And I get it, that's bad karma for you.

[Walt]

Go to surgery and rip off a guy Definitely.

[Bryan]

That's pretty funny. Well, I still have two more spots to read, but, Q, you have places to be. It's already 102.

[Walt]

Oh, yeah. I gotta go.

[Bryan]

So what I'm gonna do is, and everybody knows this by now, is I'll read the spots at home and I'll just insert them somewhere.

[Walt]

All right. So cool.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Bryan]

Well, I'll just do it that way. Yeah, no problemo.

[Walt]

Going to meet some friends to see Spidey.

[Bryan]

Nice.

[Q]

Talk about it next week.

[Walt]

Yeah, we'll talk about next week. I have. I've heard middling things about it. The highest grossing movie of all time.

[Bryan]

Is it really? Yeah.

[Q]

Well, it's the biggest opening, right?

[Walt]

Opening. The biggest opening. Opening week. Sorry. Of all time.

[Q]

Yeah.

[Walt]

Yeah.

[Q]

Has a ways to go to, I think, to be the biggest movie of all time. Right. Is this still Avatar?

[Walt]

I'm not sure.

[Q]

Changes every summer, it feels like.

[Bryan]

Yeah. Really?

[Walt]

Yeah, but, you know, we'll see. So. Yeah, well, time.

[Bryan]

Avatar 2.92 billion.

[Q]

That's insane.

[Walt]

I've never. I've never finished that movie. Every time I put it on, I'm

[Q]

like, not that good.

[Walt]

And then there's sequels that people. They're all making money, too. How many years watching this stuff?

[Bryan]

Yeah, I never want to see because Walt's wife was like, yeah, I got sick, like motion sickness. I was like, that's it for me then. Because there's no fucking way.

[Q]

Wow. You know, it's like my life is basically. I'm over. I'm a ghost.

[Walt]

Because you still remember Titanic?

[Q]

No, I do not know what Nezh 2 is.

[Walt]

No. But wow. Shit. Three of those movies are directed by James Cameron. Yeah. Wow, man. What the fuck?

[Q]

What is Najackable?

[Walt]

I'm gonna say it's a Chinese movie.

[Q]

It's a Chinese animated fantasy movie. Oh, there's a lot of Chinese people, though, right? Don't they have, like, the. The. Like the most populated country on the planet? So I bet you they had to.

[Bryan]

Everybody had to go see it. You want to keep your kid, go

[Walt]

see the movie, Steve. Dave.