Podcast
Terrible Person
Hosted by Terrible Person · EN
Unfiltered conversations unfold between “Gary” and “Selena” as everyday observations slide into cultural commentary, media obsession, relationship dynamics, and moments that probably should have stayed private. Nothing is structured and very little is filtered.
Topics drift from movies, celebrities, and internet culture into arguments, confessions, and reactions that feel slightly too honest. Some exchanges are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some cross into territory that is occasionally highly inappropriate.
“Gary” and “Selena” revisit disagreements, contradict themselves, escalate minor annoyances, and follow curiosity wherever it goes, without smoothing anything over. If you like sharp observations, messy honesty, and the feeling of being a fly on the wall during conversations you were never meant to hear, this is exactly that.
Topics drift from movies, celebrities, and internet culture into arguments, confessions, and reactions that feel slightly too honest. Some exchanges are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some cross into territory that is occasionally highly inappropriate.
“Gary” and “Selena” revisit disagreements, contradict themselves, escalate minor annoyances, and follow curiosity wherever it goes, without smoothing anything over. If you like sharp observations, messy honesty, and the feeling of being a fly on the wall during conversations you were never meant to hear, this is exactly that.
12episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
$150 at Cheesecake Factory and Now We Don’t Trust Dinosaurs
Mar 2300:37:18Tap to summarizeGary and Selena open without a formal introduction and immediately spiral into a chaotic night out that turns into a full breakdown of modern restaurant culture. After trying multiple spots in East Mesa, they land at Cheesecake Factory, where a “15 minute wait” turns into nearly an hour of sitting behind a wobbly table hidden behind a pillar. The décor feels like Las Vegas meets Egyptian casino energy, the food is solid, but the final bill crosses $150 and sparks a full post dinner value debate about appetizers, alcohol, cheesecake slices, and whether peak dinner hours are ever worth it. From there the conversation jumps into Britney Spears news, viral interviews, and a deep dive into dinosaurs after watching a Morgan Freeman documentary.Gary questions how we confidently name ancient continents like Laurasia and Gondwana, how fossil timelines are determined, and whether global warming cycles are just part of the planet’s long term hot and cold shifts. That opens the door to bigger questions about history, moon landing skepticism, redacted government files, alien disclosure rumors, and the growing feeling that no one fully trusts official narratives anymore. They also talk reality television nostalgia, from early Road Rules and The Real World to Survivor prize money and modern competition shows that prioritize elimination over experience.Selena breaks down Bridgerton Season 3 frustrations, the rushed ending, the masked identity reveal, and how weeks of tension wrapped up in minutes. Back at home, Gary’s new obsession with succulents turns their porch into a full outdoor garden project with eleven planters, hanging plants, an aloe crisis, and multiple nursery visits. They debate recording episodes outside, talk about a father in Arkansas who killed his daughter’s alleged abductor and then ran for sheriff, and argue whether defending your child justifies crossing legal lines. The episode ends with cat chaos, sleep deprivation, robot army fears, Chinese military stage performances, and the idea that future wars may be fought by machines instead of people.
Transcribe →Turning 40, Losing Our Cool, and Arguing About Everything
Feb 600:34:28Tap to summarizeGary and Selena drift through everyday chaos, aging, intimacy, and irritation as a casual conversation about colors turns into reflections on turning forty, gift expectations, and the strange emotional weight attached to birthdays. They talk massages, tipping anxiety, overpriced upgrades, sore feet, and the disappointment of hot stone add-ons that miss the point. Domestic tension bubbles up through broken heirlooms, cats causing destruction, and disagreements about emotional reactions, overreacting, and what it means to feel heard during conflict.The conversation slides into awkward neighborhood encounters, paranoia about being overheard, public embarrassment, and how small moments spiral into resentment. Gary and Selena unpack bickering, criticism, Reddit reactions, and the thin line between honest conversation and uncomfortable listening. Travel stress enters the mix with airline seating changes, gate checking chaos, lost seats, and feeling powerless while following instructions. The episode winds through bugs, grasshoppers, bodily discomfort, television fatigue, relationship negotiations, and the quiet realization that everyday life feels louder, messier, and harder to smooth out than expected.
Transcribe →This Wasn’t on the Forecast
Jan 3100:35:54Tap to summarizeCars piling up, flashing lights, and that sudden sense that something nearby just went wrong. Being out of town next week, missing each other, and the everyday friction of schedules and communication, including why notifications and an Apple Watch can make you both reachable and somehow disconnected.True crime details that stick with you, especially a case centered on an exotic dancer and the question of how reliable childhood memory really is. The surprising twist of college criminology students helping solve a decades-old cold case. Celebrity reputation and power, including Taylor Swift and Blake Lively, what “diva” really means, and why certain labels follow women differently than men.Politics and protest culture, including people entering a church over rumors of ICE involvement, media coverage, and the discomfort of watching it all play out. Travel expectations around San Francisco, what people assume they’ll see, and what that says about how cities get talked about. Paranoia jokes that land a little too well, from cloud seeding to “they’re controlling the weather” moments. Tech irritation and modern dependence, including the exact second your watch dies when you need it most, and who gets blamed for it. Domestic chaos, apartment security that doesn’t exist, petty couple arguments that escalate fast, and the oddly serious importance of potato soup.
Transcribe →Do You Girls Like Elevators?
Jan 2400:39:36Tap to summarizeWhat’s the most realistic way a “dirty cop” plan would hold up in court, and why do TV writers get away with it?A movie recap turns into a long detour through The Walking Dead, Grey’s Anatomy, and what it means to be permanently tied to one iconic role. From there it slides into Jennifer Lopez nostalgia, arguing over which of her movies were actually good, and realizing her singing voice is more distinctive than you remembered. Then the trip stories kick in. A birthday weekend, a Kroger Starbucks, and an all-time awkward public interaction that starts with, “Do you girls like elevators?” and somehow gets worse. The fight we were having before it happened, the immediate emotional whiplash after, and why we couldn’t look away. Medieval Times gets reviewed like a consumer report. The horses and hawk are cool, the tournament runs long, and the sugar crash is real. Waffle House is loud enough to qualify as an assault, with plate slams, silverware buckets, and a screaming family turning breakfast into sensory warfare.There’s also a return to the “K-pop boyfriend” conversation, what people mean when they say it, and why it can feel weird. That leads into a surprisingly earnest sidebar on poly relationships, “my wife’s boyfriend” dynamics, and what that kind of arrangement does to people over time.Plus: caterpillars, butterflies, pollination, bad Italian food, a chaotic bill, and the kind of small annoyances that become the whole story.
Transcribe →Enjoy What’s Left of Your Day (Happy Birthday GARY!)
Jan 1700:30:36Tap to summarizeWhat goes through your mind in the second before you die, and is that moment worse than the pain itself? Nuclear weapons and energy warfare. The psychology of fear, and why dying instantly might be preferable to surviving what comes after. Autoerotic asphyxiation, public shame, and how families rewrite uncomfortable truths. How cultural perception flips overnight, from fear to obsession. K-pop, Netflix, and the line between admiration and fetishization. Scorpions, snake venom, and the idea that sometimes survival isn’t the point. Corporate media, the collapse of local radio, Covid guilt, money stress, aging, and the low-grade anxiety underneath everyday life.
Transcribe →Counting Houses
Jan 900:54:52Tap to summarizeWhat’s the worst kind of workout humiliation, the kind where your expensive running shoes audibly pop like a balloon mid-treadmill, or the kind where a coach screams about your form while you try not to puke in a warehouse parking lot. A detour through OrangeTheory, CrossFit, and a firefighter-style tire-flip training session turns into a surprisingly honest argument about what “fitness culture” actually rewards, why some people thrive on rejection and constant selling, and why ad pitches can feel like pure math fraud when the time slot is basically for insomniacs and tweakers.Then the conversation drifts into Stranger Things and whether the ending reads like a real story, a Dungeons and Dragons retcon, or a full “it was all a game” twist, complete with credit-sequence evidence, character survival math, and the kind of nitpicking that only happens when you care too much and still want to complain. From there it becomes a walking tour that turns mildly conspiratorial. “Gary” and “Selena” cut through a quiet neighborhood in Arizona, debate whether it feels haunted or just over-surveilled, clock weird houses and empty streets, and start counting properties like amateur investigators, recalculating the total in real time while trying not to look like they are casing the place.The side quests include barcoded turtles with questionable names, sidewalk accessibility theories, community pool commentary, and the creeping realization that counting houses is how you get yourself on someone’s doorbell camera montage. It gets increasingly inappropriate in the way real conversations do when nobody is trying to behave. Helen Keller jokes collide with Heelys logistics, poop incidents stack up, noise-canceling headphones become a relationship hazard, and a Fruit Roll-Up debate goes fully off the rails. Add a stairwell smell so bad it becomes a local mystery, an Arizona heat complaint spiral, and a late-game pivot into Medieval Times hype, boozy slushie speculation, dessert martinis, Vegas dinner sticker shock, and wedding venue memories that make expensive burgers feel even more tragic.
Transcribe →Ignore The Guy With The Hat
Jan 100:38:12Tap to summarizeA New Year walk turns into a loose, meandering argument about whether it is better to storm off during a fight or accidentally get lost on a dark community college campus while electric-bike teenagers circle a little too slowly. From there the conversation drifts through Christmas gifts, light therapy face masks, shark masks from Spirit Halloween, and the strange psychology of buying something expensive because it never goes on sale.A parked Mustang outside a Mormon church sparks youth pastor theories, which quickly slide into Joseph Smith lore, golden tablets, hats, secret names, and who exactly gets called to which planet. Movie and TV nostalgia creeps in next. Princess Bride debates, tights-based medieval fashion logic, Robin Hood physics, Braveheart indifference, A Knight’s Tale appreciation, and the growing suspicion that Stranger Things might end as a Dungeons and Dragons campaign reveal. Credit sequences get analyzed, character ages questioned, and Dustin’s emotional arc critiqued with more passion than anyone expected. The walk keeps going and so do the detours. “Gary” and “Selena” talk Medieval Times logistics, actor unions, Scottsdale knights, boozy slushie probabilities, and whether corporate team-building has gone too far.That spirals into holiday food breakdowns, gravy packet math, pizza over-ordering, and how salad math never works the way anyone thinks it will. By the end, it stacks into pure conversational sprawl. YouTube premium loyalty, radio money politics, Mario Tennis obsession, Switch release frustration, Christmas haul accounting, zipline safety skepticism, Titanic logic, ghost towns, and the quiet realization that this is what happens when nobody is editing, nobody is behaving, and you are close enough to hear everything you probably were not supposed to.
Transcribe →
Ryan Murphy's Lady Lawyers Pt 2
Nov 1400:34:20Tap to summarizeHow does a conversation start with oyster crackers meant for soup and end up as a full-scale debate about celebrity hotness rankings, fast food dessert scams, and why every online platform eventually turns into a magnet for predators. It opens with hunger logic and snack crimes, the kind that turn a couch into a crumb scene and a Sunday afternoon into a running argument about who forgets grocery staples, who drops food everywhere, and what counts as a normal amount of crackers to inhale just to “absorb the acid.”Somewhere in the middle, a rhinestone-covered gingerbread house that lights up becomes a serious creative project, complete with battery paranoia and a very specific fear of doing hours of work for a total Christmas Vacation-style failure. Then it pivots hard into celebrity attraction math. Leonardo DiCaprio eras, Brad Pitt timelines, Ryan Reynolds falloff, Joaquin Phoenix face debates, and the sudden rage sparked by people rebranding their own names. It slides into pop culture side quests like It’s Always Sunny seasons that feel like a punishment, the celebrity business industrial complex, and the idea that making makeup, tequila, or supplements is the safest way to stay famous without ever risking a new album.The internet segment gets darker fast. A lawsuit over a kids game being used for grooming, the memory of AOL-style chat room “asl” moments, and how easy it was to think you were talking to a teenager when it was probably a grown man. It jumps to viral headlines that feel fake but are real, including a hotel worker washing stained sheets in a hot tub while guests are still in it, plus the bleak realization that a lot of “safe” spaces are only safe until someone figures out how to exploit them.Food comes roaring back at the end with Taco Bell’s Baja Blast pie hype, the rage of app-only menu items that never exist at your location, and the familiar corporate trick of going viral just to get people in the door. It closes where it began, with petty domestic chaos turned into a full argument archive, crumbs, orzo everywhere, and “Gary” and “Selena” treating minor messes like evidence in a case that will never be dismissed.
Transcribe →Ryan Murphy's Lady Lawyers Pt 1
Nov 1400:41:36Tap to summarizeOn this episode, terrible person covers a mix of trending news, weird stories, and everyday disasters. Topics include Kim Kardashian reportedly failing the bar exam, the most commonly missed warning signs of dementia, and Trailer Park Boys actor Mike Smith being charged with sexual assault. There’s also a discussion about Christopher Nolan’s Tenet and whether it’s genius or nonsense, the strange design of hydrofoil racing sailboats, and the difference between luxury yachts and simple chill boats. Other highlights include a kitchen meltdown caused by bugs in flour and Target pasta, a talk about how restraining orders actually work, and speculation about Zach Bagans’ haunted museum.Go to www.TerriblePerson.co for premium episodes of terrible person.
Transcribe →Wet Ass Pizza Pt 1
Nov 700:38:44Tap to summarize"Gary" and "Selena" spiral through awkward vape shop encounters, Comic-Con chaos, and how close things came to going very wrong at a convention tied to Power Rangers lore. The conversation jumps from cosplay weapons and near-death moments into celebrity transformations, reality TV fatigue, and the strange evolution of fame over time."Gary" and "Selena" dig into nostalgia, boyhood TV obsessions, Halloween letdowns, and how growing up changes the way public spaces, pop stars, and traditions feel. Along the way, food disasters, overpriced groceries, wet pizza regret, and everyday domestic annoyances turn into the kind of rambling that only makes sense when you hear it happening in real time.
Transcribe →