Psychotherapist, Truth Teller, and advocate for being a "difficult" woman, Tonya Lester joins Chelsea 9:10 minutes in to talk about the upside of being difficult (the good kind of difficult, that is), what's worse than heartbreak (spoiler: it doesn't involve a relationship ending), the masks we wear and the self we forfeit in order to attract and keep partners, freeing ourselves from the spiral of "if-only" I had been/done/or behaved like XYZ, the healing powers of curiosity, self-compassion, and vowing to use our past to change our future, internal family systems methodology, the motive of the mean voice, how shock absorbers in relationships always finish last, the power of self-possession, "kind narcissism," and why presenting ourselves as fully — vulnerably and accurately — as soon as possible is the best way to set ourselves up for a love that aligns with our true nature and intentions.

Psst: I loved this episode!

Tonya Lester:

Website: https://www.tonyalester.com
Services: https://www.tonyalester.com/services
Blog: https://www.tonyalester.com/blog
Psychology Today Articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/tonya-lester-lcsw
Free Quiz on Your Difficulty Level: https://assessments.catchengine.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tonyalesterpsychotherapy
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tonyalesterlcsw

Chelsea Leigh Trescott:

Website: https://breakupward.com
Email: chelsea@breakupward.com
Advice Column: https://www.huffpost.com
Writing: https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-leigh-trescott
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/musings