Hunter Prosper (2:32)

And, yeah, it's a very intense environment. I mean, it's in the name, and it's something that I wasn't prepared for. So I graduated college really excited to be a nurse. You know, you go through your four years of school, and every single day you're like, I can't wait to take that test at the end of the. At the end of these four years and become a nurse. And so I became it. And one thing you can't ever study for a practice for is the emotional toll that it can take on you, because when you're a student, you know, you kind of go home and you study and stuff. But whenever you become an adult and you're actually working in this environment, you realize that you're seeing these patients, and then you're going home, and you might have to see them again, or you may not ever see them again. And both of those realities is really painful because often when I worked in the icu, I would be meeting someone, I'd be hearing their story, we'd be building a connection, and then not 10, 15 minutes later, I'd be doing CPR on them, or we'd be having to paralyze and sedate them, or we put them on a ventilator. And I'll say, Jenny, like, CPR is very hard to do on someone that you just saw a picture of their kids, or they just told you about how they got this new puppy, or. It was really emotionally taxing. It's something that I wasn't prepared for. But I. I found some soulless in these. These videos that I started to make, which then ultimately became this book. But, yeah, so I guess, long story short, elevator pitch of how that happened was I was at home one day, and I was really upset because I just had a patient the couple nights prior to my age pass away. And that was hard because I work in the medical icu, and a lot of those patients that I see are of the geriatric or elder community. And. And as painful as that is, seeing someone who kind of looks like you is. Is really painful. So it just hit really close to home, and that kind of broke everything in me. But I remember when that patient was. Was passing away, she was completely, completely alert. She was completely aware of her surroundings, and it was a very weird situation because you don't. You don't see that very often where a person's going to pass away and they're completely with it, they're completely lucid. This patient was. And to kind of fill air in the room, I just asked her a question. And I don't know why I asked her this question. Maybe because I wanted something open ended, maybe because I thought this would make her smile. I don't know. But I asked her, who is your greatest love and why did you fall in love with them? And I remember she looked up and she started to cry, and immediately my heart dropped. I was like, oh, no, this is the worst case scenario. I. I made her feel bad whenever. She already has a lot going on, obviously. And then I realized that she started to smile and she was crying tears of joy. And what she was doing was she was recollecting to me some of the greatest moments of her life, being in love. And here's this woman who's on this on her deathbed, and she's no longer. She was no longer with this person, but she was still able to cry these tears of joy because of how happy she was having to feel that love. And so I went home, and that really affected me, but it affected me in a way that I didn't want her to pass away in vain. So I sat down in front of a camera and I told her story. And then it was immediately met with a lot of DMs, a lot of comments, you know, even a lot of views where a lot of people were, were uplifted by that story. And to me, it felt as though I had done something for her, just as she did for me. And then from there, I was kind of like, I don't think I want to stop doing this. I don't want to stop listening to people like I thought I. I wanted to at first. And so here we are. Now I'm on the podcast with you.

Jenny Ertz (6:20)

You say it's become therapy for millions. Therapy for you and then therapy for millions. You wrote, I began to resent building relationships and having conversations with people to protect myself. I stopped listening. I tried to stop caring. But you say in the process of trying to protect me, my mind was stripping away what made me human. I could feel myself losing layers of who I was. I feel like that even happens a lot with technology. We've stopped listening and stopped caring. And so then it starts to strip away at your humanity. So you start doing these stories. Was there a point? Cause it is A really interesting thing, Hunter, where you talk about how you're so excited to become a nurse. It's a lot of this book work and class and classmates and instructors and I'm sure all hands on type things. Did you ever, once you got into it, wish that you had done something different?

Hunter Prosper (7:10)

No. No. I can honestly say, Jenny, without hesitation, no. I love nursing, but I think what I love above all is helping people, or at least listening to people, making them feel seen, making people feel like they matter because they do matter. And however that manifests itself, I love doing that and it happened to manifest itself in nursing. So, you know, for me, nursing has given me such a profound respect for humanity. There isn't a. There isn't a moment that I feel above anyone else because of the things that I see and because of the things that I've had to do as a nurse as well. So, no, I think it's given me this great sense of grounding. It's given me this great sense of humility and it's given me this great sense of understanding that people around me are people. You know, there's no one above anyone else. We're all in this together. We're a human species and, you know, a lot of us, everyone. The thing I think affects me the most in the hospital, I think is the most profound thing to me is that no one wants to be there. There isn't one person that wants to be in the hospital. And that doesn't just go for patients, that goes for the workers as well. I don't want to always be employed because that means people are always sick. It's kind of weird. It's like by nature this job, you have to still want to have job security, but at the same time you don't want job security because that means people have to be sick. But then patients are in the hospital because they don't want to be in the hospital. They just have to be there because of their circumstances. So it's a job that I truly love because I feel like there's so much impact that can be done on both sides.

Jenny Ertz (8:43)

Yeah, that's such an important. It's so critical. I, I have not been in hospital much, but when having babies, you know, you're there and then, I mean, that is like your person, like the nurse is your person. And you know, when they, if it takes a long time and they have to sub out, you know, they, their shift ends and someone else comes in and it's like you really are so connected. They are like you are Desperate for them. I remember when we had our second baby, so my husband had to go home at night because we already had a kid. So you go home with that kid and I was like, alone. I'm like alone with this baby. And then like, I think my stomach started to hurt.

Hunter Prosper (9:19)

Really.

Jenny Ertz (9:19)

But you're like, it. Desperate and like that is the person that comes in and saved you. You don't even like, know them. It's like so remarkable, Hunter. It is so remarkable.

Hunter Prosper (9:29)

Yeah.

Jenny Ertz (9:29)

That a person that you don't know is going to come to you in. You know, you're one of your most desperate moments and help you. You're.

Hunter Prosper (9:38)

You're really seeing people at their most vulnerable. And, and, and, yeah, that, that's. Yeah. And like you said, that's one of the hardest parts for me as well is I am coming in every medical worker, not just me, but. But as a nurse, you're coming into a person's life at their most vulnerable.

Jenny Ertz (9:55)

Yeah.

Hunter Prosper (9:55)

The hardest part for me is being able to tow that line of I care so much about you that in this moment I'm going to make you feel like we're friends because we are friends, but then care so little about them that I can go home and not think about them. That's impossible. You know what I mean? And I think that's the thing I was struggling with and that's the thing that even to this day, it's. It's hard for me to compartmentalize things like that. Because you're dealing with humans emotions here. It's hard to just turn that off and say, ah, they'll get over it or, or whatever. Like, I can just forget about that. That's something that I still. And especially having talked now to thousands of people, it's hard to compartmentalize that sometimes.

Jenny Ertz (10:31)

Yeah. So I love the premise of the simplicity of it. And that's kind of what we're doing. It's like the simplicity of getting outside. That's it. People are like, what is 1000 hours outside? I'm like, you go outside, you know, like, that's all it is. And, and it. There's a power in it. It's very simple, but there's a lot of power in it. And this is very similar. You talk about small things, like conversation. You say on the surface it's just me walking around aimlessly for hours a day talking to thousands of strangers. But you say there's some really beautiful pieces of this small thing, like a conversation. One of them is that because it's a Stranger. They're able to maybe open up in a way that they wouldn't otherwise. Maybe they don't have someone else in their life that they can really speak honestly to about certain things. Can you talk about that part of it?

Hunter Prosper (11:20)

Yeah. No, Ginny, I think that that's probably why therapy works so well. And a lot of my friends who do go to therapy as well is they say, you know, I have family and friends, I have a support system. But you know, they have, they have a dog in the race, you know, I mean, they, they are going to be swayed a certain way. They're biased. A therapist or even just. Which is technically a stranger is just listening. They're kind of giving you their unfiltered opinion. And that's how this feels. I go outside and I meet someone who has no idea who I am and I have no idea who they are. And then I ask them this deeply profound question. They're taken aback because they probably thought I was going to ask something silly or I was going to try to get them in like a funny moment. But instead they can tell, oh, this person's trying to have a genuine conversation with me. I speak to these people without exception, usually an hour to two hours. This isn't just like a five minute thing where I'm walking up and putting a camera in their face. It's like this is a, this is a very slow, burning conversation dance. And I think that that's why people are able to open up so well, you know.

Jenny Ertz (12:23)

Yeah, an hour to two hours. And then you capture all these photos. You have a photographer with you and you can really see, like you talk about how you can see the people opening up, just capture the emotions so well, like these beautiful moments of vulnerability. And I love that. That conversation is like a dance. And every exchange is new. Every exchange is something different. So you ask these open ended questions and people can read it. In the book Stories from a Stranger, every person has a story. There's these different open ended questions that you ask. And it was interesting that there were a lot of similarities to the things that people would say. One of the things that came up a lot was how, I mean, so often people would say that they felt unwanted, I felt unwelcome. I used to pray that I might look like someone else. I grew up thinking I'm not anyone's first choice. My entire life I struggled with self love. So we got a podcast where a lot of parents listen in. What do you think contributes to those types of feelings?

Hunter Prosper (13:22)

I think we have this misconception as humans that what we are feeling, we are completely alone in feeling that. And what I want this book to show and, and the examples you just gave is that we are deeply connected by our emotions. Our experiences are so unique. I don't know Ginny, the things that you've been through in life, but I know for sure you have felt a form of anxiety that I felt. I know for sure you felt a love that I felt. And whether that be for your dog and I felt it for a goldfish, it's the same thing. Whether it be a partner, you felt it for a partner. Whether it be my, my family and you thought of your family. We've felt the same emotions and that makes us so deeply connected and that's why we are not alone. And, and that is the saddest thing is that a lot of people feel so alone. And that's why I hope this book can show people that your emotions connect you to every single person around you. Experiences, again, completely unique. Those are yours, those are yours you can hold close to you. But what you can understand is that emotions are completely, it's almost like generalized, you know what I mean? Like we have all like emotions are so not unique to you. And, and, and I think that should be empowering.

Jenny Ertz (14:33)

Yeah. And that listening, I mean I, I think that the whole point of conversation and listening, that helps people to feel wanted and loved and seen. And so I like the idea of just having some open ended questions that you can ask people. And you're going to take that away from the book. How did you pick the questions?

Hunter Prosper (14:51)

That's a great question, Jenny. All these questions that I ask are the questions that I ask in the hospital. And there's many more as well. But those questions that I ask, I found that in the hospital those ones made the patients open up the most. They're extremely open ended but they ultimately always lead to a good outcome. Right. Like it's, it's, it's always them sharing their struggle in life and sharing their experience in life. And by the end of the open ended question, because I usually talk with people for so long and especially in the hospital, you're there 12 hours a day, 13 hours a day, multiple times working your shift. It concludes with them having learned something. And that's why I love all of these questions because none of them lead with dismal, no outcomes. All of these questions are accompanied by answers that lead to some beautiful responses.

Jenny Ertz (15:45)

Yeah, yeah. People have thoughts on all of these different types of questions. I wanted to hit a few of them. There's interesting twist in the book Hunter where you have the people's stories. So one of the questions, and this is one of the chapters, is what's the loneliest you've ever felt? So you go through people's stories, you've talked to them one to two hour conversations, you've got your photographer there. It's super interesting. In that one was a set of twins.

Hunter Prosper (16:10)

Yeah. Yep, yep.

Jenny Ertz (16:11)

So we'll talk about that. But also then there were people's written responses. How did that work?

Hunter Prosper (16:18)

So I also do a form of video that I've been doing for not quite as long as Stories from a Stranger, but almost called Notes from a Stranger. And what I do is I go around the country and I'm also a travel nurse so this helps a lot. I'm able to travel to these places, I'm able to work in their hospital, but then I'm also able to in my free time do these notes tables or do these stories on the street or whatever.

Jenny Ertz (16:44)

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Hunter Prosper (20:19)

And notes is one thing that I do where I put up a table and there is a jar and a question with a bunch of note cards and I just set it somewhere that's heavily populated and I sit there for hours and hundreds of people come and that's what I did for this book. Yeah, every city we went to just put a notes table, few hours a day, let people just write their feelings. And why I love Notes From a Stranger so much is because a lot of people, if they ever didn't want to tell me their story, nine times out of 10, it was because they didn't want the story associated to them. They felt, oh, if I talk about me being sad or. Or me feeling a certain way, like it's going to be associated me. And I'm going to look weak or I'm going to look whatever, but I really want to talk about my feelings. So this is kind of like a diary where people can be anonymous and they can write their question, and there's no proof whatsoever that the answer is associated with that person. So they can feel free to kind of speak freely. And that's how. That's what Notes From a Stranger is. And so I thought a really cool idea. My book editor and I actually thought about this together, where it was like, why don't we take these notes and photo scan them? Like it'll be a pretty easy process. And I was like, yeah, I actually love that. So, wow. We will gather our favorite notes of the thousands of notes and we'd photo scan. Yeah, about 25 or 30 per. Per chapter. So there's. There's definitely a lot of notes in there.

Jenny Ertz (21:44)

Wow. It's really powerful and they're really thought provoking. I wanted to go through this lonely. I took a bunch of notes of all of the different questions, but for this particular question, I had the most notes on this one, which is, what's the loneliest you've ever felt? We're in a loneliness epidemic. So it's important. It's important to read as a parent, too, I think, because it gives you some perspective on maybe what your kids might say, what they might say when they're older. So, first of all, you interview these twins and, you know, I mean, the misconception there would be that twins are never lonely. I mean, I think for me personally, I'm like, gosh, I wish I had a twin. And these twin men, they say, you know, you ask, what's the loneliest you've ever felt? And they say, honestly, growing up together. So can you tell people why?

Hunter Prosper (22:29)

Of course. Yeah. You're referring to Jalen and Mason.

Jenny Ertz (22:32)

Yep.

Hunter Prosper (22:34)

It was crazy. I was walking in Arizona, in Phoenix area, and yes, all the twins. I was like, are they. They look very similar to each other. They were just walking with each other. They got Two different styles. And you'll be able to see that on the. On the book. And I'm sure you're looking at it now like they have different styles, but they looked very similar, obviously. And now I know, because they were twins. But see, I walked up to them, asked them that question, and these two absolutely love each other. They literally finish each other's sentences. But it was interesting because in that story, they'll mention how at first they were so close that their identity was intertwined with each other. And so they didn't have a sense of identity because they were so close. Because, you know, sometimes they said that their parents had to shave letters in their head, on the side of their heads during barbershops because they just sometimes couldn't tell. There was no, like, mole or, you know, this one has different color eyes. Like, they were so similar that everyone mistake them. And so they always thought they needed to have the same friends. They always thought that they needed to do the same sports. They identified heavily as being twins because their whole life everyone said, hey, it's the twins. And so that sense of connectedness actually led to their deepest loneliness. But it's kind of cool. It. It results in them finding themselves and realizing that they are very similar. But they came to that conclusion on their own.

Jenny Ertz (24:04)

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's just deep truths in each of the different stories. And you start each chapter, each chapters. I don't even know if you refer to them as chapters, but it's a different question. And then you have a premise. Like, you write. You write a little bit at the. At the start of each one, talking about loneliness or talking about being told beautiful things, or talking about friendships or talking about when we go through painful things. In the part of the notes from a stranger in the loneliest you've ever Felt, there were some really interesting ones, Hunter. One of them was someone had written scrolling on Instagram, what's the loneliness you've ever felt? And their answer is scrolling on Instagram. Oh, like, that's, like, not what it was meant or at least, you know, portrayed. It's meant to make you feel not lonely at all. Like you're connected with hundreds of thousands of people.

Hunter Prosper (24:53)

I mean, it's called social media, right?

Jenny Ertz (24:55)

Yeah. Yeah. And so that's what someone said. The loneliest they've ever felt is scrolling on Instagram. Okay. This was a big one because we have an. Our oldest son is about to graduate from high school. And that was somebody's answer. We're kind of nervous about that. Like, that's a hard transition. The loneliest they've ever felt was when they graduated high school. I don't even know, like, if you have any wisdom on that.

Hunter Prosper (25:17)

Like, no, we're talking about it kind.

Jenny Ertz (25:19)

Of a lot, which is, like, what are. What's the social net there? Like, what are you supposed to do as a parent that, you know, are you supposed to do anything? But that transition can be really hard.

Hunter Prosper (25:29)

I think in Ginny, a lot of those notes. I mean, we could go through hundreds of those because there's so many that just took me aback that I was like, I can't believe that these situations are causing this. But, no, I think my only one, I'm, you know, I'm. I graduated college in 2019. You know, I'm not. I don't have the most wisdom on this. But what I will say is that I think what I can offer to people who are feeling lonely after graduation or during graduation is what this book is trying to show you, which is a lot of people feel that you feeling alone does not make you alone. And when you realize that you're not the only one that's scared after graduation, that makes you understand that, okay, maybe graduation isn't this lonely thing. Maybe I can find this group of people who also feel alone during graduation, after graduation, that we no longer feel alone. And then years go by, and then you forget that you ever felt alone after graduation. But of course, right now, it's such a formative part of your life, and you're still trying to figure out the whole thing. You're trying to figure out your social world. You're trying to figure out what's going on in your life. So, of course there is going to be the sense of loneliness. But when you realize that you're not the only one feeling that, and that's why I want this book to show.

Jenny Ertz (26:40)

Yeah.

Hunter Prosper (26:41)

Then it makes you realize that, okay, I can be alone, but I'm not alone.

Jenny Ertz (26:47)

I mean, these are pretty deep. Every time I look in the mirror, what's the loneliest you've ever felt? Every time I look in the mirror, anytime I'm around my parents. When my mom got rid of our dog, what's a big one? I was like, you know, the dog's kind of a pain sometimes. You're like, oh, if we just didn't have this. But. But like, what a thing. I was glad I read that. I was glad I read that some person said the loneliest they ever felt was when the mom got rid of their dog. I think it's important to read these perspectives that, like you said, the. The feelings are shared, but the experiences are different. Some person said Monday through Friday, in my cubicle, someone says, when winter comes, so that we can just be aware that these external situations could be affecting people in such deep ways. It's just good to know. So I. I love that that was in there. It was such an. A beautiful pairing of these interviews that you took our two and pared it down into their story with the powerful pictures. And then to have the notes from a stranger right in the middle, smack in the middle there is so powerful, and it gives you a lot to think about. You interviewed some older people, and these went under the question. This is a big question. What do you see when you look in the mirror? And you interviewed a couple people that were in their 90s. And I thought that was really important because as a culture, I feel like we're kind of scared of getting older.

Hunter Prosper (28:08)

No, of course, Jenny. 100%. I think that we associate looking in the mirror with being in your 20s, 30s, 40s, maybe even 50s. But then after that, you're like, oh, people probably just don't look in the mirror anymore, you know, oh, I feel insecure. I'll get over that when I'm older. And what people don't realize is that we're humans all the way until our last day. And so I do love the wisdom that these, yeah. You know, nine plus decade people are able to share amongst not just younger people, but also people their age as well that can gather wisdom from those.

Jenny Ertz (28:41)

Yeah, yeah. So that, you know, 96. This person says, I'm 96, so that's probably what I should see. You know, I've accepted the fact that I'm an old lady and that shouldn't be a negative thing. Or this person says, it's so good, Hunter. I mean, I just think it's the part about shared humanity, but then it's also you get the wisdom from all these strangers. Right. So this person says, I'm 97 years old. This is my favorite decade of life so far. What a great thing to say. I kind of feel like that about life. Like, people, you know, they ask me, what's your favorite age? Or. And I'm like, I don't know. I like my life right now. And then you think, well, maybe you shouldn't say that. Maybe it should be something different. But to know that someone who's 97 would say, this is my favorite decade of life so far. What a great thing to give people like you always have something to look forward to.

Hunter Prosper (29:31)

Exactly. You always have something. And this is someone who has been 20, who has been 30, who has been 40, who has been. She's this. This stranger has been every decade. And she is able to say without a shadow of a doubt, and she didn't hesitate when she said that that right now is her favorite decade.

Jenny Ertz (29:49)

Yeah. She says it's fun to get old, and if you're lucky, you'll get to experience it. I've been able to watch my family grow and start families of their own, and that's such a blessing. Don't listen to anyone who says getting old is a bad thing. So it's wisdom. Through all of these stories, I was impressed when you said about Jalen and Mason, you, like, knew you were in Arizona. And that's the power of a conversation. You're outside, you're having the depth of conversation, and you remember them. You remember these different you. In your mind's eye, I'm sure you can picture where you were when you had these conversations and how powerful a simple conversation can be. In the notes from a stranger in this section of what do you see when you look in the mirror? Someone said, I haven't looked in a mirror in over 10 years. And I thought that was actually an interesting thing too. Hunter. I talked to this man recently. His name's Andrew Laubacher, and he works for this nonprofit. It's called Humanality. It's about kind of stepping away from your screens and living more hands on and more in community. And he had just gotten back from some sort of a backpacking trip where he hadn't looked in the mirror for, I don't know, three weeks or something, you know, an extended period of time. And he said it was really powerful. And he was talking about how, as humans, there was a long period of time where people wouldn't. Weren't able to see themselves as much as we do now. So that was interesting that someone said, I haven't looked in a mirror in over 10 years.

Hunter Prosper (31:06)

I was, I was literally about to say, I'm not advocating that we get rid of mirrors as, as a society, but I will say, yes, I agree. They' had to have been not that long ago, as in like, you know, 500 years, that we didn't have the ability to constantly look at ourselves in the mirror or our cameras. Yeah, almost as a species, you're not meant to see your constant reflect. It's like a dog that's always able to see what it looks like. Like they're not always looking in the mirror. They're just living life how they live it, you know?

Jenny Ertz (31:33)

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Even right now like you, I mean you can see yourself in a, in a zoom meet and like all of it, you can see yourself so much. I, I thought was really precious. One of the people said, I see my mother. I'm like, oh, that's so sweet. You know that you see those like the, you know, the DNA strands and, or maybe just even your mannerisms or things like that. I thought that was beautiful.

Hunter Prosper (31:54)

And it's, it's, there's, you know, that's such a shared experience. The. After the 97 year old that you just mentioned, I interviewed someone pretty much like an hour later and they said that they see their father in themselves. That they truly. And it's one of the biggest blessings that they can ever that so they're told like this stranger is often mistaken for his father. So they'll call him his father's name. And he says every single time that they say his name, his father's name, he looks forward to people mistaking his name. Like they, he hopes people will mistake him for his father. And he says that I look and I look in the mirror now I look in photos of myself and I sometimes have to take a second look and say, wow, I really do look like my father. And I'm so blessed to see that because I miss him. I miss, I miss seeing him and I kind of get to see him all the time.

Jenny Ertz (32:43)

Yeah. The commonalities, I mean there are so many of them. And that's the point. That's the point that there are so many of these shared pieces of humanity. And so there's like deep parts and then there's funny parts. Like one of the questions is what something you wish you'd said. So this what if scenario, which is a really hard part in life. So you know, it's like several people are saying, I wish I would have said I love you. I wish I would have said it. I wish I would have told my dad. I wish I would have told so and so that I really appreciate what they did for me. And then one of them is your breath smells.

Hunter Prosper (33:15)

You know what? We never know. We never know what we would have said. Sometimes it's still on our mind.

Jenny Ertz (33:21)

I like it. There's levity in there too. So I think that the great combination of the longer stories, like the longer form of the conversation with the like little one liners like your breast mills, someone said this and you're. Because you're talking about great decisions that you've made. And to give an example of how you tee up each of these questions, you talk about them. You say, reflecting on good decisions reminds us that while the power to decide something can be daunting, it can also lead to a life that we truly desire. So I don't really think I do this too much, like, reflect on good decisions that I've made. You said it earlier, like, it's really a great decision to become this ICU nurse, and here's all the reasons why. So reflecting on decisions and someone says this. I didn't save a penny during my 20s and 30s. It was amazing. Isn't it interesting how someone's one sentence can be so thought provoking? You're like, well, if they feel like that is the greatest decision that they made was basically to, like, go live their life, you know, and they're. They're not sacking money away in a day and age where people are like, how much do you have for retirement? I think that's thought provoking.

Hunter Prosper (34:28)

It's sometimes all you have to be a succinct.

Jenny Ertz (34:30)

Yeah, it's so interesting.

Commercial Narrator (34:34)

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Hunter Prosper (35:03)

This is a real good story about Bronx and his dad, Ryan, real United Airlines customers.

Commercial Narrator (35:09)

We were returning home and one of the flight attendants asked Bronx if he wanted to see the flight deck and meet Captain Andrew.

Hunter Prosper (35:15)

I got to sit in the driver's seat. I grew up in an aviation family, and seeing Bronx kind of reminded me of myself when I was that age.

Jenny Ertz (35:22)

That's Andrew, a real United pilot.

Hunter Prosper (35:24)

These small interactions can shape a kid's future. It felt like I was the captain.

Commercial Narrator (35:29)

Allowing my son to see the flight deck will stick with us forever.

Hunter Prosper (35:31)

That's how good leads the way.

Jenny Ertz (35:33)

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Jenny Ertz (36:30)

See for yourself@botoxcosmetic.com so, okay, here's a question that I ask people. This is my favorite question to ask people. It's open ended. So I'm going to ask you what are you most looking forward to?

Hunter Prosper (36:45)

Most looking forward to. So would you like me to zoom out? Would you like me to zoom in? Like what, what is the parameters I should ask for? What am I looking forward to? Because on a macro level, Ginny, I'm looking forward to being healthy, having my family healthy and being able to spend time with them, being able to see my mom, being able to make my mom proud in various ways, which isn't just releasing a book or becoming popular on social media. It's just, you know, being polite, being a good young man, like showing her that I am the person she raised. And you know, her doing that alone, anything makes her proud as long as I'm being a good person. But yes, thanks. My grandmother, you know, she's still in good health and I love to visit her. These are the things that I look forward to the most in, in the, in the short term. My fiance and I are getting married in May and that's kind of, that's really cool. You know, that's something that, coming off of my early to mid-20s, something I never thought would happen, you know. And now here I am meeting and that's actually. So you had mentioned a photographer and she was my photographer for this book. Yeah. How cool was that? So I interviewed. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you see, it'll say Madison. Yeah, it'll say photographs by Madison Hood. If you, I think maybe look in the back of the book or maybe look in the beginning. I can't remember. But yeah, it credits her with the photos and what I normally do is I walk aimlessly for hours, like I had mentioned to you, but I do that alone. And I interview strangers. Just my. It's just with my phone, and my phone's in my pocket and I'm walking and I meet someone. I bump into them, and then I talk to them, and then I pull out my phone, and then that's it. But this. I needed to have a photographer, obviously, because I need to be completely engaged in this conversation while beautiful, breathtaking photos are being taken. And I couldn't do that. So I asked Madison, and again, without hesitation, she was like, yes, let's do it. I'm excited. And this poor woman. When I tell you, Jenny, that I talk to people for hours, I truly mean that. And now she can attest. She's actually working right now at the hospital. I'd be able to pull her in here and say, you know, verify this. I talked to people for so long, and for this book, I was. I was nervous. I was like, I have to get a lot of stories for this book, obviously. So I was like, we're gonna have to do as many as we can. I probably average four to six people a day, two hours each, two to three hours sometimes. So we're talking like eight to 12 hours a day for, like, six months. She stayed by my hip and we just traveled the country. We lived in. We lived in hotels. This one time, because it was cheaper. I got an Airbnb and we had to share a space with someone. And this poor girl I just can't say enough things about. I can do a lot, but whenever I require someone else to do something, I feel really bad. But never once did she make me feel like this was a burden for her. She. At the end of every conversation, we went home and we would just debrief about what we heard. And she was so honored to hear these people's stories. And it made me so invigorated to talk to the next person tomorrow. And, you know, we walk around aimlessly so she has to walk with me, too. We gotta bump into someone. This has to be a pleasant experience with these strangers. She's here. Like, there's a lot going on in her head that she was able to say, no, let's do this, and she did it. So I'm looking forward to loving her for the rest of my life. But at a micro level, I'm looking forward to our wedding in May. So, yeah, that's what I'm looking forward to in certain aspects of my life.

Jenny Ertz (40:11)

At what point was she your Fiance the whole time.

Hunter Prosper (40:15)

No, no, no, no. So she just became my fiance in the middle of May, May 16, I proposed to her. I actually am looking at a picture of the proposal right now. I went to our CVS and I printed out the pictures of me on my knee. So I'm looking at it right now on our mantle. But no, May 16, I proposed to her at the place that we travel nursed in Southern California. So she's also a nurse, and we were travel nurses together, and we went to Huntington, California, and our first beach we ever went to together there was Laguna Beach. So I took her back there. She was none the wiser. Or at least she tells me. You know how women always kind of. Yeah.

Jenny Ertz (40:55)

They have an inkling.

Hunter Prosper (40:56)

People's partners always seem to know. I don't know how it works out, but it's. They always seem to know. But I think she had an inkling, but I did a pretty good job hiding it. And you know what? At least the pictures, the ones I'm looking at, she looks shocked, so I'll take that as a win. I'll say that she didn't know.

Jenny Ertz (41:11)

Wow. So your relationship blossomed through this project. Is that what you would say?

Hunter Prosper (41:16)

Oh, I mean, so I started dating her. I should say we started dating maybe four months before I ever started social media. So Madison has had to. That's the thing that I always. I. It's hard for me to describe Jenny. This social media thing that I do is totally crazy. It's like, how did this even happen? Whatever. The thing is, though, is that she didn't sign up for this. Like, I signed up willingly to start social media. I signed up to do this. This girl fell in love with me as a nurse, and then all of a sudden, I'm like, hey, I want to be a nurse and a social media person. And then she had to navigate that as well.

Jenny Ertz (41:54)

Yeah.

Hunter Prosper (41:55)

And I give her so much props for just always being my rock and always being that person to push me and always being that person to say, you can do this. This. Everything's gonna be okay. Don't worry about this. You can do it. It's like she never once was like, hunter, I didn't sign up for this. Can you stop? Or, hunter, this is overwhelming. Or, hunter, these interviews are crazy. Or, Hunter, I don't want to travel as much. She never once made me feel like I was a burden. So between her and my mother as well, being like that, I've just always felt support. But. So, yeah, you ask if she's My fiance during. No, but she was my girlfriend and she was my girlfriend for, you know, a decent amount of time before I even said, hey, I'm gonna do this thing where I post on social media.

Jenny Ertz (42:33)

What a journey. But how neat, how incredible, really, that you can do it together. That this book is a together project. Because the imagery is so powerful. Like you needed that.

Hunter Prosper (42:45)

She did amazing. We needed it for sure. And she was completely engaged the entire conversation. Like I said, I interviewed for an hour to two hours. So if you can imagine talking to someone for two hours, imagine just snapping hundreds to thousands of photos of a person in a matter of an hour or two hours. And like this, this poor woman had to do it. I feel like she had to do more than I had to do. But yeah, it's kind of cool. We had to share that together.

Jenny Ertz (43:10)

Yes. The travel and then the book comes out and you've done it together and you're getting married next to. Maybe this shows the power of a single open ended question.

Hunter Prosper (43:20)

Exactly.

Jenny Ertz (43:20)

Because I hadn't, I had no idea. I had no idea. I mean, I have it on my notes. The photographer, Madison. Some of these conversations would last upwards of three hours and she never made me or the stranger feel rushed. Matthew Madison. How incredible. Congratulations to you.

Hunter Prosper (43:37)

Thank you, thank you.

Jenny Ertz (43:37)

Congratulations. That's so exciting. What a wonderful thing. And to already have this foundation of experiences together. Do you ever feel awkward to ask an open ended question?

Hunter Prosper (43:50)

Yes, Jenny, I'm not gonna lie. My. I still, because the nature of it, I'm walking up to someone and I feel as though I'm entering their space and I'm going to be a burden to them. It's only until I start talking to them and I see the, the release in their eyes and the therapy in their eyes and how happy they are that I asked them this question is when I start to feel good. I've interviewed thousands of people and I still get nervous walking up to a stranger. And that's another thing Madison's helped me with is I remember this one time we were travel nursing in San Francisco and I was done. I was depleted. I had asked like five different people if they, you know, if they wanted to talk and they all said no. And I was like, I can't, I can't do this. I've been walking for five hours, six hours, and every single person says no to me. So I'm just done. Madison was in a coffee shop nearby and she saw that I looked defeated. She said, do one more story. Walk around, walk around the block. No, no. Not one more story. Not even that. She said, walk around the block one more time. She's like, cool off. Don't talk to anyone if you don't see anyone. But just, you know, if you do, let it come as it comes. And I went outside and I found an amazing stranger who gave such a beautiful story that affected me so much. And then if we're talking how it performed, it was one of my best performing videos I've ever had on my. On my platform. And I've had videos get 50 million views, 60 million views. This video is up there with those. And I would. I would have never met this person, this person. I never would have been able to bond if it wasn't for Madison saying, you can do this.

Jenny Ertz (45:19)

That's so interesting, Hunter. I didn't really consider. That's a lot of rejection. What is the opening line?

Hunter Prosper (45:26)

Yeah, it's a lot of rejection, Jenny. But I feel like the aura that I present to the people, it's never. It's never me. Like, I've never, ever been rebuked. I've never been, you know, yelled at. It's. It's usually whenever I walk up to a stranger, I try to make it as organic as possible. So they're not sitting on a bench, they're not reading the newspaper. They're not on their phone. It's. We are crossing paths on a sidewalk. I don't ever solicit people. I don't ever chase them. It's. That's why it takes me so long, because I'll walk for five hours and no one's on the sidewalk. I'm like, am I on the wrong sidewalk? You know?

Jenny Ertz (45:55)

Or nobody's off their phone, or.

Hunter Prosper (45:57)

Or nobody's off their phone. Exactly. But. So in the rare chance they are. They're looking up and they see me, I see them, we cross paths. And in that crossing of paths, you know how people kind of do that? Like, little smirk, like, hey, how you doing? Like, you know what I mean?

Jenny Ertz (46:11)

Yeah.

Hunter Prosper (46:12)

If they do that to me, I'm like, okay, I'm engaged. Hunter, you can do this. Hey, my name is Hunter. Oh, hi. I'm Tom. Hey, Tom. I do this weird thing where I ask strangers questions and I interview them. Do you mind if I ask you a question and I interview. Yeah, sure. And that's usually. Then I'm like, okay. Like, I do it on my phone. Is that okay? Oh, yeah, sure. So I pull out my phone, and it's very. It's not invasive because it's just My cell phone, it's like an iPhone, like 12 or something. It's. It's old. I just pull it out, and then I just press record. The. The camera is below my chin so they can't really see it. We're kind of just looking at each other in the eyes, and we're just talking for hours. The first time I ever interviewed someone that I ever said, hey, I think I want to make this, like, a video format. I was so enamored with the conversation I was having with a stranger that the phone the entire time was just pointed at their foot. Like, it was just pointed at the ground, because I didn't realize. I was like, oh, my gosh, I have to lift the phone up. You know what I mean? Yeah. It has to show the person's face. And that's actually why if anyone ever watches my videos, there's B roll in my videos. So when someone talks, you kind of see an overlay of something pretty, like the San Francisco Bridge or like an ocean or us driving. I have B roll in my videos. Not on. I don't have that because I thought that was, like, an artistic thing. I did that because the first video I ever did was just the person's foot. And I knew that people wouldn't like to just look at the person's foot. So I was like, well, let me put a picture of, like, the cathedral we have here in Pittsburgh or something. And that's. That's kind of how it became what it is. But so when people do reject me, it's far less of rejection. It's more of, like, I don't like the way I look today, or, no, I'm sorry, I'm on my way to work. Or it's. It's always. Usually play. It's never. And I think it's like that because I don't walk up to them screaming in their face or trying to get something out of them or trying to do something funny. It's like being thoughtful. If they don't want to talk to me, then that's okay. And they just don't talk to me.

Jenny Ertz (48:00)

Yeah. And people are heading to something like they're trying to get to something at a certain time. I mean, even just the concept of saying hello to someone in introducing yourself. I can't remember the last time that's happened, like, to me in a. In just a random space, you know? I mean, I guess I met someone last night named Ken, but, I mean, I was with a bunch of parents, and it was someone's dad. You know, where you walk up and you say, hi, I'm Jenny, and. But, like, just out in public, that's got to make people feel pretty good, I think.

Hunter Prosper (48:29)

Jenny. I couldn't agree more. You walk up to someone and they feel noticed. Yeah, right. Like. Like it. It's almost like. That's also probably why a lot of people don't just straight up reject me, is because when I do say hi to them, they're greeted with a high. They're greeted with that, oh, that's cool. This person even just took the time out of their day to look at me, introduce themselves.

Jenny Ertz (48:51)

They're probably shocked to a degree and curious because it's just not something that happens so much anymore. Like, why would someone say, hi, I'm Hunter.

Hunter Prosper (49:01)

Exactly that.

Jenny Ertz (49:02)

I don't know why people come back and told you that. I would imagine. And I would imagine you probably get so much feedback in DMS and messages that you probably can't even keep up with it. But do you start to hear stories of people who have taken this in part into their own life?

Hunter Prosper (49:19)

Oh, my gosh. The. The amount of DMS and even comments, like, public comments that everyone can see of people just saying what they learned is just beautiful. You know, I interviewed this stranger once in Huntington, and we kept in contact with each other because he actually lived really close to where I lived. And so I interviewed them. He's like, oh, wow, that was crazy. Exchanged numbers, and then a couple weeks went by, and then he messaged me out of the blue, and he's like, hey, Hunter, I just want to say thank you. And I'm in a group chat right now. Now? And I was like, oh, group chat? Like, of what? He's like, oh, you didn't know about this? And I was like, no. And he's like, oh, yeah, there's a group chat of, like, a lot of people you've interviewed, and they all just find each other and. And we're talking, like, how the experience went and about our days. And he's like, and now I'm meeting up with one of them and we're going to go have coffee. And I'm like, wait, what? He's like, yeah, he's like, it's called the Hunter Prosper group chat or Stories from a Stranger group chat or something. And yeah, we just talked, like. I don't know if it was, like, on social media for his texting or something, but he was like, yeah, we're just in a giant thing together, and there's like 20 of us and we all just like find days to hang out sometimes. I was like, wow, I wish I would have been invited to that.

Jenny Ertz (50:27)

Can I be in the group chat?

Hunter Prosper (50:30)

Yeah. He's like, nope, it's just people you interviewed.

Jenny Ertz (50:32)

But that's exceptional. You could never have imagined, never this. The power of human stories and how that is creating real life connections and real life relationships. You have brought up so many things that I wouldn't have considered. Like the fact that you have a conversation, this pretty deep conversation and that. Yeah. Like maybe you, maybe you would meet up afterward or maybe you would get that person's contact information because you connected. And so you might have a longer term relationship than just that one to two hours. And then those people are connecting. And then I would imagine that there are. You'll never know the ripple effect of people who are now more open, who are asking better questions and more questions and just really working on their conversational skills to get to know people better because they've seen you model it. Someone had written in the part about there's a question about heartbreak, you said, and you said a heartbreak is as common as a heartbeat, which I think is important. I talked to this man, his name is Arthur Brooks, and he works with college students. He's a professor. And he said something about, you know, sometimes four to five heartbreaks before you find your person or your friendship or whatever it is you're looking for. And I think that's a good thing to be reminded of because sometimes we think there's something wrong with us, you know, like it went south, there must be something wrong with me. And you say, if there's a must be a price to pay for falling in love, then heartbreak surely is it. And so the one person's story, it was like what? Someone breaks up with them and she says, here's a podcast on listening that really helped me. You should look into it.

Hunter Prosper (52:03)

Yeah, that's. That's William from New York, I believe. What's his name?

Jenny Ertz (52:06)

Yeah. And it just goes to show the power of that conversation dance like it's really important. And so you're reminded like the. The art of being silent and keeping quiet even after the other person is done talking. Give them a little bit more space so they have a chance to get their entire idea and all of their feelings out is important. And so people are learning quite a bit, quite a bit from what you said. On the surface is just like you walking around aimlessly for hours a day talking to thousands of strangers. I mean, you probably could have never.

Hunter Prosper (52:37)

Imagine the impact no, exactly, Jenny. And in that story specifically, I hope that shows people that there isn't a moment in your life that's a mistake. Every single thing that you do is teaching you something. That heartbreak. William goes on and he says how much that heartbreak hurt him, but now he actually, he's married now, and he wouldn't be able to be a great husband that he is without that heartbreak. And that is so true. That wasn't wasted time. Sometimes we're with people for years and we eventually break up and we say, man, what was I doing? Just wasting my time? None of that time was wasted. You became who you are today because of that. And yeah, I agree. It all just every single moment we have in life is meant to be. And I'm just happy that I'm able to have these type of conversations with people. To be honest, I'm happy that I'm able to learn those things because that's something that I wasn't necessarily keenly aware of until I talked to these thousands of people.

Jenny Ertz (53:27)

I mean, that is a really important question. What did you learn from your greatest heartbreak? Because then you're reminded, look, there are things to learn. And this person says, william, they each had their little signature at the end. He learned to listen. He wrote or he told you. And it's in the book, when I speak during the silence, it's telling the other person that what they have to say isn't enough. I used to listen to be well mannered. I didn't listen to let the person get out what they really had to say when it's. It's really deep. And then he'll be a better father and a better friend. And I love that the girlfriend, the old girlfriend was bold enough to say, here's a podcast that's important too. You know, I think sometimes we shy around from those types of things. There's this proverb that says, enemies multiply kisses, but wounds from a friend can be trusted. And I think there's so many little lessons in this book, Hunter, about, well, gosh, you know, she could have just broken up with him and been like, I'm out. This isn't working for me. But what a gift that she said, hey. And that's kind of a simple thing. Like, here's a podcast about listening. You know, it might do some good. And he even said something like, oh, I don't need that.

Hunter Prosper (54:41)

I think he says something along the lines of, as soon as she said that, I was looking for every way to prove her wrong, and I wasn't Looking for where she was right, you know?

Jenny Ertz (54:49)

Yeah. He says, I was so mad, which you are. You know, people are like, hey, you know, you. You really could use this, you know? He says, I was so mad. I thought I was an amazing listener. I like what you just said. I immediately started to look for evidence of how she was wrong. In fact, I was so caught up with her being wrong, I wasn't looking for where she was right. And then he decided to listen, and now he has a new fiance, which would have been impossible without the insight that he got from this woman. And so the lessons abound, Hunter. Like, that's one just woven in. There's so many lessons in that one, just in that one story from William, but, you know, about where we can being lovingly truthful to help people to grow, that there's lessons in heartbreak that we can learn and grow and that listening is a skill. And maybe we all need that podcast. I don't know.

Hunter Prosper (55:39)

No, exactly. And then I'm happy to say that, Jim, because that's what I want this book to be is I want people to read this from page one to the last page or. And. Or I should say pick it up wherever you want and open up a story and just reflect on that story or find the chapter that's applying to you that week, that month, that year of your life, that day of your life. Open up to the chapter that really resonates with you. And then read those stories and reflect on them.

Jenny Ertz (56:03)

Yeah. And then it becomes a springboard to follow after what you're modeling, which is building deeper connections, asking good questions, becoming a good listener, sharing what you've learned with other people. It's really powerful what you're doing. Hunter. What an honor. Goodness, what an honor.

Hunter Prosper (56:19)

I want.

Jenny Ertz (56:20)

And what a book.

Hunter Prosper (56:21)

Oh, Jenny.

Jenny Ertz (56:22)

It's going to be obviously everywhere, wherever you books are sold, but it's just got everyone's photos all. It's so cool how it's laid out, like, all around the top and all around the back, and then you recognize them because, you know, you've read everybody's stories throughout. It's called Stories from a Stranger. Every person has a story. The authors, Hunter Prosper 1 We always end our show with the same question. And that question is, what's a favorite memory from your childhood? That was outside.

Hunter Prosper (56:46)

Oh, wow. That's a. That is a great question, Jenny. Everything from my childhood goes back to my mom, single mom. Growing up, it was just her, and I didn't have any siblings, so we kind of just had to Talk to each other. We just had to hang out. We were even forced to, even if we didn't want to. But we always wanted to because my mom always made me throw, feel seen, and she always made me feel like I mattered. I didn't feel like that kid that was missing a dad. You know, I, I feel for her so much because she was in her 20s. As a single mom, that's way harder to do than being a little kid not understanding the world. And as long as your mom loves you and is showering you with emotional wisdom, then you're going to feel included. And I always felt included. But it's, you know, outside. Let me think here. And I know this is gonna have to do with my mom, but, you know, I think I'm gonna say when my mom. And it's funny that I remember this because I was so young, but when my mom would take me to the playground and it was just her and I. And I didn't know any of the kids. And I think there were moments in life where, and this is no shade to the people who had done this to us, but maybe outcasted us a little bit because, you know, she wasn't married and I didn't have any siblings. We didn't have a house. It was, it was very like apartment type living, you know. And so maybe some kids wouldn't want to play with me. It wasn't their fault and it maybe even wasn't their parents fault. It was just their perceptions not being right, you know. But what I did have was my mom. And I just always remember her and I hanging out like she was my friend, like she was that little kid I could play with at the playground. Even though, though she was in her 20s and then, and then late 20s. So I think that, I think that I remember vividly just, you know, beautiful a person. She is both like on the outside and inside. And I just remember her pushing me on swings, her. Her swinging as well, which she definitely didn't have to. I'm sure she had, she had a lot to do because she worked multiple jobs and went to school. So I don't even know how she found three minutes to go to the playground with me. But I think that, Jenny, I think you're bringing back a lot of good memories right now. I'm gonna, I, you know, I was on the phone with her right before this. I think I'm gonna call her after this as well.

Jenny Ertz (59:01)

You know what's wild too, Hunter, is this is like super random, but once you hit puberty you start to get a little bit more motion sick. It has to do with like the fluid in your ears and it's a whole thing. But, like, I can't actually swing very well anymore. Like, even on a regular swing, I'll get motion sick. So it's actually a really special thing to swing with your mom?

Hunter Prosper (59:22)

Yeah.

Jenny Ertz (59:23)

Are a lot of moms that would be like, I'm. I'm too sick.

Hunter Prosper (59:25)

Yeah. You know, Jenny, I wouldn't be surprised if she was feeling very sick the whole time, but she always just kind of did stuff for me.

Jenny Ertz (59:31)

She did it anyway. She must be so proud of you. Wow. What a story. What a story. Hunter, this is. It's changed my life. It's changed my life to have read your book and to have been able to interact with this incredible project in an age of loneliness that not only reminds us of our shared humanity, that not only shares beautiful stories and even just little quips of stories. People writing in their one liners from so many people, but really reminds us of the power of conversation, the power of listening, the power of being bold and stepping into other people's lives. Even if they might think that's a little weird or awkward. It's really needed now. So I so appreciate it. Huge congratulations on the book and thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much and congratulations on your engagement.

Hunter Prosper (60:19)

Got a lot of exciting things coming up. Thank you, Jenny. I appreciate you and I appreciate everyone listening. And thank you for. I mean, your presence during this was just so fun. And thank you for actually caring about the book and thank you for caring about talking to me. It means a lot. I look forward to anyone getting this book and even getting an iota of wisdom from it.