Podcast Summary

Podcast: The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
Host: Ginny Yurich, That Sounds Fun Network
Episode: 1KHO 629: Good Enough Is Both Good and Enough | Niro Feliciano, All is Calm-ish
Guest: Niro Feliciano (Author, Cognitive Therapist)
Date: November 23, 2025

Main Theme

This episode focuses on how families can manage stress, prioritize connection, and rediscover contentment during the holiday season (and beyond). Drawing from her new book All is Calm-ish, cognitive therapist Niro Feliciano shares strategies for handling holiday pressures, family drama, gift-giving dilemmas, screen time boundaries, self-care, and the value of “good enough.” The conversation is full of practical advice, heartfelt stories, and memorable moments that encourage listeners to cherish and protect meaningful childhood experiences—especially through outdoor play and simple joys.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Holiday ‘Perfect Storm’

• Commercialization & Social Media:
  • Holidays have become increasingly commercial, intensified by social media comparison culture. Both host and guest grew up with simpler celebrations, making today's pressure to perform and provide extravagant experiences feel overwhelming and depleting.
  • “It has gotten more and more commercial… and also as we have access to more information, just seeing what other people are doing… It’s gotten to everyone’s economic bracket. I feel like everyone feels like it’s too much in a short period of time and stressful.” (Niro, 03:29)

Relationship and Family Drama

• Anticipating Tension:
  • Holidays often magnify unresolved family tensions. Niro recommends addressing anticipated conflicts before gatherings or using strategies during events—deflecting, setting boundaries, and depersonalizing drama.
  • “If you have had issues for 20 years, this holiday is not the time to solve them.” (Ginny quoting Niro, 07:41)
• Coping Tactics:
  • Use humor, change the subject, or physically remove yourself. Sometimes, “opposite action,” like laughing when you’re upset, can diffuse tension.
  • “In dialectical behavioral therapy, that’s called opposite action. We do the opposite of actually how we feel... It also gives the illusion that I’m not bothered by this.” (Niro, 09:19)

Micro-Moments of Wellness

• Accessible Self-Care:
  • Wellness doesn’t require hours—a few minutes of cold air, movement, or connection with a friend are all powerful.
  • “Wellness does not have to be like a half an hour, five times a week… These micro moments of wellness make a big difference.” (Niro, 11:05)
• Oxytocin & the Female Friendship Effect:
  • Especially for women, short moments of connection with friends can boost mood and resilience.
  • “When you’re in that age group, that connection with other females boosts our oxytocin… There are a lot of ways to level out our hormones that are not pharmaceutical.” (Niro, 13:03)

Physical Practices for Calm

• Movement:
  • Even a 20-minute walk can elevate mood, motivation, and connection. Childhood memories recalled are about “movement, laughter, and connection.”
• Breathwork:
  • Box breathing, famous for use by Navy SEALs, helps quell overwhelm and anxiety. The secret: longer exhalations.
  • “Longer exhalation is the key to relaxation, which is an easy way to remember how to breathe.” (Niro, 17:56)
• Gratitude:
  • Even brief gratitude practices can improve health and reduce inflammation after medical crises.
  • “Cardiac patients after a heart attack who kept gratitude journals for six weeks showed lower rates of inflammation than people who didn’t.” (Niro, 19:17)

The Power and Pitfalls of Tradition

• Letting Go of ‘Perfect’:
  • Life (and the holidays) are messy. Sometimes the best stories come from the failed attempts at “picture-perfect” experiences—the tractor ride in Vermont, for instance (45:35).
  • “When it goes wrong, when it doesn’t go as planned, that could be one of your better memories.” (Niro, 47:40)
• Reframe Obligations as Opportunities:
  • “There are thousands of women who pray they will get to go sledding on a snow day with their kids and never do... How much longer are they going to actually want to sled with you?” (Ginny, 22:35)

Sleep as Non-Negotiable Self-Care

• Prioritize Rest During Stressful Times:
  • Establish a minimum sleep goal, even during the busiest seasons.
  • “Everything rests on sleep. If I can’t even function like a human being the way I was created to function… whatever I’m achieving is actually not worth it.” (Niro, 24:03)

Gift-Giving Dilemmas

• Love Languages & Culture:
  • Gifts can mean different things across families and backgrounds; open communication about gift preferences is crucial.
  • “The roots of why we feel the way we do around gifts runs deep… Why I wrote about this is because this was a huge conflict early on in my marriage.” (Niro, 28:41)
• Disappointment vs. Ingratitude in Kids:
  • Reacting poorly to gifts isn’t always a sign of ingratitude—sometimes it’s simple disappointment.
• Experience Gifts as Lasting Memories:
  • People rarely remember physical gifts, but shared experiences foster deeper bonds and vivid memories.

Screens and Presence

• Set Boundaries for Screen Use:
  • Designate screen-free times and spaces to preserve presence and attention (e.g., during meals or special family moments).
  • “Screens are one of the reasons we lose our ability to be present as life happens around us… They hijack our neural pathways.” (Ginny, 35:11)
• Dopamine from Real Life:
  • Plan stimulating, novel experiences (even small ones) to help replace the dopamine chase of screens.
  • “Anything worth doing is worth doing a little… We underestimate the impact of five minutes of silence, a ten-minute walk outside.” (Niro, 40:02)

Navigating Grief During the Holidays

• Permission to Do it Differently:
  • There is no right or wrong way to process grief—opt out of painful traditions if needed, surround yourself with supportive people, and take it day by day.
  • “You have permission to do it differently this year. Whatever serves you and your family best and feels less painful.” (Niro, 43:02)

The Importance of Outdoor Play and Simplicity

• Unstructured Outdoor Time:
  • Both Ginny and Niro recall the irreplaceable freedom of childhood spent outdoors, which fosters resilience, presence, and connection.
  • “I lived on a cul de sac and there were so many kids… we’d be down the street, we’d be riding our bikes… I had such a beautiful childhood because we spent most of the time outside.” (Niro, 52:27)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you have had issues for 20 years, this holiday is not the time to solve them.” – Ginny, quoting Niro (07:41)
• “Longer exhalation is the key to relaxation.” – Niro (17:56)
• “When it goes wrong, when it doesn’t go as planned, that could be one of your better memories if you can find that perspective in it.” – Niro (47:40)
• “Cardiac patients after a heart attack who kept gratitude journals for six weeks showed lower rates of inflammation…” – Niro (19:17)
• “Everything rests on sleep.” – Niro (24:01)
• “The idea of being satisfied with less, especially during the holidays, is foreign to many.” – Ginny (51:50)
• “Both good and enough. Good enough really is good and enough.” – Theme from the episode/book.

Important Timestamps

• 00:30 – Introduction; navigating holiday stress
• 03:29 – How commercialization and social media amplify pressure
• 05:44 – Relationship/family drama and setting boundaries
• 09:19 – Using humor and opposite action to diffuse conflict
• 11:05 – Small, accessible wellness strategies
• 13:03 – The ‘female friendship effect’
• 17:56 – Breathwork practices (box breathing, benefits)
• 19:17 – Science-backed benefits of gratitude
• 24:03 – Sleep as a foundation for wellness
• 28:41 – Gift-giving complexities and love languages
• 32:09 – Managing disappointment vs. ingratitude in children
• 34:25 – Experience gifts’ impact
• 35:11 – The insidious impact of screens
• 40:02 – Healthy dopamine from real-life experiences
• 43:02 – Navigating grief during the holidays
• 45:35 – The Vermont tractor ride story: finding humor and memory in mishaps
• 52:27 – Niro’s favorite outdoor childhood memories

Tone and Language

• Warm, empathetic, candid
• Practical, relatable, and encouraging
• Blend of humor, vulnerability, and actionable advice

Conclusion: Takeaways

This episode advocates for releasing perfection, redefining success as “good enough,” and investing in the simple, meaningful rituals that create lasting family memories. Through nature, movement, presence, and a willingness to laugh at our own expectations, families can reclaim joy and calm—not just during the holidays, but every day. The key: track your time outside, take regular breaks from screens, give and accept gifts with grace, and remember that “good enough is both good and enough.”

Book discussed:

• All is Calm-ish: How to Feel Less Frantic and More Festive during the Holidays by Niro Feliciano
• Mentioned: This Book Won’t Make You Happy: Eight Keys to Finding True Contentment by Niro Feliciano