The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast

Episode: 1KHO 639: Escaping the Attention Economy | Sharon Hodde Miller, Gazing at God
Date: December 3, 2025
Host: Jenny (That Sounds Fun Network)
Guest: Sharon Hodde Miller

Episode Overview

In this thoughtful episode, host Jenny welcomes author and pastor Sharon Hodde Miller for a second conversation, this time exploring Sharon’s new devotional Gazing at God: A 40-Day Journey to Greater Freedom from Self. Building on her previous book, Free of Me, Sharon discusses the modern epidemic of self-preoccupation exacerbated by our attention economy, social media metrics, and cultural shifts in identity and self-worth. They delve deeply into the roots of insecurity, the value of hiddenness, the downsides of the self-esteem movement, and the surprising spiritual discipline of turning our gaze away from ourselves toward God and others. This episode is an inspiring and practical conversation about reclaiming attention, purpose, and joy—especially in an age saturated with screens and self-measurement.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. *The Connection Between Free of Me and Gazing at God (00:30–04:47)

• Sharon explains how Gazing at God is a natural follow-up to Free of Me, which examined insecurity from a biblical and personal perspective.
  • “Gazing at God is very much a follow up. Like, it's sort of the things that I learned, like after I released Free of Me.” (Sharon, 01:56)

2. The Roots of Insecurity: Self-Esteem vs. Self-Preoccupation (04:47–09:19)

• Sharon shares her realization that insecurity isn’t only about low self-esteem, but often stems from excessive self-preoccupation.

  • “Our culture really only equips us to address one [cause of insecurity], and that is low self esteem... But what I realized is that there’s a second cause of insecurity … which is self preoccupation. And that is when we make things about us that are not about us." (Sharon, 07:57)

• Metaphor: Faith as a race, and the distraction of comparing oneself to others running alongside.

3. Screens, Social Media, and the Self-Esteem Movement (09:19–14:00)

• Sharon critiques the self-esteem movement: knowing you are “special” doesn’t always yield confidence, but can result in narcissism and self-absorption.
  • “The self esteem movement did not yield the generation of confident young people that it promised. And not only are people now more insecure than ever, but where they did grow was in narcissism, was in self absorption.” (Sharon, 10:31)
• Disney movies and popular culture now focus on discovering oneself, lowering the ceiling of purpose from something grand to mere self-acceptance.

4. The New Epidemic: Attention Economy & Mirror Metaphor (03:55–14:26)

• Jenny and Sharon reflect on the impact of mirrors, selfies, and the quantified self (likes, followers) in exacerbating self-focus, especially in children and teens.
  • “You have these kids who just have mirrors, you know, in some sense, whether that's mirrors or it's their phones at every turn... it's being assessed numerically.” (Jenny, 09:19)

5. Why Do We Become Self-Preoccupied? The Role of Pain (18:48–23:50)

• Sharon introduces a compassionate perspective: self-preoccupation often arises from emotional pain, not just cultural pressures.
  • “Another reason ... is a lot more gracious, and I noticed this with people in our church... usually the reason why they are doing that is not just because of the culture that we're in, but it's also because of pain.” (Sharon, 19:43)
• Uses the sprained ankle analogy—when part of us is wounded, our attention is naturally drawn inward.

6. Practical Steps: Self-Examination & Noticing Scripts (23:11–25:47)

• Sharon encourages identifying “scripts”—thought patterns centered on “I” and “me”—especially during depressive spirals or ambiguous social situations.
  • “There is a lot of research showing that people who are struggling with depression, they use a lot more me centered language.” (Sharon, 23:50)

7. Healthy Self-Understanding: Receiving the ‘True Self’ (25:47–29:20)

• Sharon warns that self-denial is not the same as self-rejection—she insists on the biblical affirmation that the self is created in God’s image and meant for stewardship, not neglect.
  • “With self forgetfulness, it's not about self neglect. It's just freedom from self preoccupation.” (Sharon, 27:50)

8. Self-Denial & Receiving Unwanted Gifts: Rejection, Hiddenness, Loneliness (29:20–34:15)

• Sharon reframes difficult experiences—rejection, obscurity, hiddenness—not as punishments but as spiritual disciplines that realign our sense of value away from ourselves.

  • “What information does this insecurity have that I need to hear? Because very often what insecurity is telling you is that you are actually standing on something insecure.” (Sharon, 31:32)

• Memorable Quote:

  • “If there is any part of you that it hurts because you had told a story that was about you and that is stripping away that story, that story needed to be stripped away anyway and that we can welcome that.” (Sharon, 33:53)

9. The Surprising Discipline of Hiddenness (Secrecy) (39:02–45:27)

• Influenced by Dallas Willard’s The Spirit of the Disciplines, Sharon describes “hiddenness” or “secrecy” as cultivating a relationship with God independent of others’ approval—a radical act in the age of performative living.

  • “A continuing relationship with God independent of the opinions of others. … We lose touch with reality, we lose touch with our right motives, like why we should actually be doing this, which is for the Lord.” (Sharon quoting Willard, 40:46; Sharon, 41:15)

• Sharon shares personally about the temptation to post online for validation, and how choosing not to perform her pain has helped her spiritual life.

• Memorable quote (G.K. Chesterton):

  • “How much happier would you be if you only know that these people care nothing about you? … How much larger would your life be if your self care could become smaller in it?” (Jenny reading, 45:27)

10. Attention and Worship: Looking Toward God in a Distracted World (46:13–48:13)

• Sharon recounts the story of Peter walking on water as the perfect metaphor: when we fixate on ourselves or our storms, we sink—only by looking toward Jesus are we secure.
  • “If we fixate on the storm, if we fixate on ourselves, that our feet will start to sink. And so this reminder to raise your gaze, to look at the source of your security, which is correct. Christ alone.” (Sharon, 47:02)

11. The Role of Beauty, Creation, and Getting Outside (48:13–52:00)

• Noticing beauty, especially in nature, helps “right-size” ourselves and draws our attention away from unhealthy self-focus.
  • “Beauty, whether it’s nature or art or music, it has this transcendent quality … that directs our gaze to something higher … profoundly liberating to remember that I am not God, and the world does not revolve around me.” (Sharon, 50:07)
• Jenny and Sharon celebrate outdoor time as a path to encountering God the artist.

12. Turning Toward Others: The Rope Ladder Out of the Pit (52:00–60:51)

• Sharon discusses the healing power of serving others and community, especially after personal loss or breakups—a practical application of loving God and others.
  • “That command to love others is actually that rope ladder out of the pit.” (Sharon, 60:51)
• The importance of validating grief and pain in young people experiencing breakups or rejection, and honoring their emotional reality.
  • “This is really hard. And it is going to be hard for a while, but it won’t be this way forever. … You’re not pathetic and you’re not weak. … It just is very, very difficult.” (Sharon, 57:24)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On insecurity & social comparison:

  • “I was looking at the people who were kind of running next to me, and I was comparing myself to them ... And if I didn't compare well ... it took all of the joy out of what I was doing.” (Sharon, 05:07)

• On the failure of the self-esteem movement:

  • “Where they did grow was in narcissism, was in self absorption.” (Sharon, 10:31)

• On receiving unwanted experiences:

  • “What if I don't post that, but I take it to him instead and wrestle with it with him in that, in that secret place and that that is the place where he purifies My motives ...” (Sharon, 43:45)

• On loving others as freedom from self:

  • “Through this journey I realized, well, that's actually how you are set free, is how your soul is, is pried off of itself, is by loving God and loving others, that God gave us these commands because he loves us.” (Sharon, 60:32)

Timestamps for Segments

• 00:30 – How Gazing at God and Free of Me are linked
• 04:47 – Sharon's personal journey with insecurity
• 09:19 – Youth, social media, and self-preoccupation
• 14:00 – The merging of self-esteem culture and screens
• 19:28 – Emotional pain as a source of self-focus
• 23:11 – Practical tools for examining the self
• 26:45 – Receiving your true self and identity in Christ
• 29:20 – Receiving difficulty as a grace
• 39:02 – The spiritual discipline of hiddenness/secrecy
• 45:27 – Chesterton’s quote about self & happiness
• 46:13 – Worship, attention, and focus shift
• 48:13 – Beauty and getting outside
• 52:00 – Turning toward others; healing after loss or heartbreak
• 60:51 – Loving others as a path to freedom

Conclusion

This episode is a must-listen for anyone wrestling with insecurity, digital overwhelm, or longing for richer spiritual and personal life. Sharon Hodde Miller’s insights—woven with biblical wisdom, cultural critique, and pastoral care—offer an honest pathway to healing, joy, and attention restored to what truly matters.

Recommended Reading:

• Free of Me by Sharon Hodde Miller
• Gazing at God by Sharon Hodde Miller
• The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard

For More:
Visit 1000 Hours Outside and connect with guests for further reading, inspiration, and resources about reclaiming childhood, attention, and the joy of being outside.