← The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast
1KHO 688: How to Clean Up Your Mental Mess | Dr. Caroline Leaf, Switch On Your Brain
00:52:23
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- [00:00]
A
Oh, it's a beautiful world Ain't nothing on screen that's ever gonna be this view oh, it's a beautiful world and I just want to share with I just want to share with you this beautiful world Such a beautiful.
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B
Hello friends. Thank you for hitting the play button today. Today I'm talking with Dr. Caroline Leaf and if you've ever thought why do I keep reacting like this? Or I know there's a better way but I can't seem to change this episode is going to help we get into the science of thoughts and patterns and Dr. Leaf gives practical tools for those high pressure moments, especially as a parent when everything in you wants to snap. Spiral or people, please, a quick favor before we jump in. Hit follow on the show so you don't miss new episodes. And if you've never left a review, I would love one. It helps more families find this message. I'm the worst at asking for anything, so thank you for your grace and for the opportunity to grow in this area. This five star review came in earlier this week from Samantha. It's titled A Friend to Walk With Me Through Motherhood. Ginny's voice is as familiar as a friend's in our kitchen. It has become part of my motherhood to have her podcast playing in the background of my cooking and and dishwashing to encourage deep parts of my motherhood with her peppy voice and uplifting messages. I've learned so much from her in the last several years and I'm crazy grateful to have this podcast as a tool for our parenting. It gives us great things to talk over and I feel okay with our little ones running around hearing it as well. She has inspired me to keep learning, reading and pushing myself toward growth, even as a homeschool mom with four young children and little extra time. Thank you Ginny for being a part of our family rhythm and helping us to value the outdoors and our creator even more. Thank you Samantha and Hello to your four wonderful children. One last thing, our 1000 hours outside app is on sale through the end of the month. If you want to build momentum without living on your phone, you'll find the link in the show notes. It is a top ranked iOS and Android app and it's on sale for only $25 for an entire year or just over $2 a month. Okay, let's get into it with Dr. Caroline Leaf.
- [02:25]
C
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D
The 1000 Hours Outside podcast. My name is Judy Urch. I'm the founder of 1000 Hours Outside and I have an incredibly accomplished guest today, Dr. Caroline Leaf.
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B
Welcome.
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A
Thank you.
- [03:06]
E
I'm so excited to be with you. Love the title, get your kids outside for a thousand hours. I assume that's what you were meaning.
- [03:12]
D
That'S what we're trying to do in a year. And it solves a lot of problems. It solves a lot of problems for the kids, it solves a lot of problems for the parents and it solves a lot of problems for humans in general who are not kids or parents that just want to be getting outdoors. So I have read one of your books that's been around for a while. It's called Switch on your brain, the key to peak happiness, thinking and health. Wonderful book. It's got 8,500 reviews on Amazon. But since you wrote this book, you have had a lot more books come out, including an app and courses. So before we kick it off, can you let people know the different paths that they can go down? The books that you have ones that would be really good for parents and including this course and applied.
- [03:50]
E
Absolutely. Well, thank you, Jenny and it's great to be with you. Well, I'm. We're going to be talking about a lot of stuff related to mind, mental health, mind, brain, managing emotions, helping our kids. So this is something I've been in for 40 years and so I've got about 19 books, 24 languages and we have courses as well. And we have an app. The app is a great place for a parent to start. It's called the NeuroCycle. It's available on itunes, Google and we have a web version and that's because that takes the scientific form formula that we'll be talking about today of how you can actually manage your mind in whether it's the big stuff, small stuff, day to day moments, etc, and so that, that is called the neuropsycho app. And there's a book that goes with that called cleaning up your mental mess and we can obviously send you all these links. So. And this, this is, this book came out fairly recently as well. Then I released one a couple of years back on how to Help your child clean up the mental mess. So in the app that I'm referring to that matches this book. Okay, they're not matches, but I mean they go, you know, they work very well together. There' also a section in the app to how to help your child and then the details of that are in this book. And this is literally a program for how we can help our kids these days manage emotions. All the things that we are told, like if they sad or depressed or angry, that there's something wrong with them, they're not actually. It's being a normal child and how we can respond and manage and how you can teach your child, this is from 2 through 12. How you can help your child from the ages of 2 through 12 manage the mind and emotions and that kind of thing, which is super important. And then this came out just a couple of months ago. Help in a Hurry. There's a course that goes with it called, also called Help in a Hurry. So they get the course, they get the book for free in the course. Now this was written just literally from demand from all my patients and clients. What do you do in that moment when you're triggered? I mean, just think as a parent, as a human, someone says something, you triggered, something happened, you're triggered. In our information explosion age, there's just so much coming at us all the time. And we catch yourself getting worked up, feeling under pressure, feeling burnt out, people pleasing, saying things we don't want to say. How can you manage that moment? And that's what this book is about. The top 18 areas that people from surveys and research, because I also do clinical trials and research and all that stuff as well, and these are the top 18 areas that people get caught. And how can I capture that in the moment and learn to stand back and respond instead of react? So instead of people pleasing and thinking oh no and resenting yourself because you people please and you shouldn't have or getting stuck in that regret cycle, if only I said this or didn't do that when my child, whatever it's. How do I manage those moments? Because if you don't manage those moments, we all know they spiral out of control and the day becomes a mess. This way you can catch the moment and then you can find your patterns and then you can rewire those habits and that's kind of a big, big picture. And then we can dive in, into the details.
- [06:37]
D
So many tools and this is so necessary because I find myself reacting a lot. So all of it is very, very helpful and especially for our Kids as well. You wrote in Switch on your brain. I see myself as a puzzle builder. And in writing my books, the pieces.
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B
Of the puzzles come together to tell a specific story of hope. You've got four kids.
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D
Can you talk about your path toward this field of work?
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E
Well, I've been in it 40 years now and began as an interest. The mind and the brain began when I was, I mean, I was young. I used to teach my dolls and I actually got into med school and I was doing, I was going to do medicine and then they offered a degree which was a combination of medicine, neuroscience, communication, pathology, a bunch of stuff. So I moved over to that which I'm so pleased because I got such a great comb, enabled me to really understand how we show up in life. Where does that come from and how can we rewire that? And what is the mind, what is the brain? What are thoughts, what are emotions? So I got a very deep understanding of that. And it began, honestly as a young child, as a student at university. And it hasn't stopped. I still do clinical trials and research and all this stuff.
- [07:43]
D
Yeah, yeah. Because all these books and it all is so applicable and I think it just becomes more applicable year over year because of how much technology there is. So one of the things that really stuck out to me in Switch on your brain, and I'm sure that you talk about these in the newer books as well, but you talk about how it takes a while for there to be sustained change. And you talk about the brain and how that starts to happen. And I thought this was so interesting. Caroline, you said it's kind of like a tree. So, you know, you start to like, you talk about in help in a hurry. There's these 18 situations and you know, you start to learn how to respond rather than react. And over time, these sort of, I don't know what you call it, like pathways in your brain start to build up and become a little stronger. But you say, you know, they start as bumps and then they turn into lollipops and then they're like mushrooms. They're growing out like tree branches and they thicken. So I thought first of all, what a cool parallel. Yeah, like what a cool parallel. That's what's happening in our brain. We can kind of relate to nature, but also what a hope filled mess that, you know, you can't see that. But when you start practicing doing something different, it's really strengthening your brain structure.
- [08:57]
E
Absolutely, absolutely. Well, you summarize that really well. You're a good student. Okay, so In a nutshell, we have a mind, brain and body. So the mind and the brain are not the same thing. But people could be really excused for thinking they are because we are indoctrinated with this idea that mind and brain are the same thing throughout media and conversations and social media. And it's not the case. The mind is but from the brain. And this is very significant because it's the mind that does the work. Brain, the brain doesn't think, it doesn't generate, it doesn't. It only stores data, it stores the facts, but without any understanding because the brain doesn't think. It's like a computer, but the. Which is often the analogy used, like the heart, the computer. But it's then often people think, well, the brain is a computer, the mind is the software. No, no, not at all. The mind designed and built the computer. The mind designed the software. You choose your computer, you choose the software, you choose how to use your software.
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A
Words.
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E
You are your mind. You are 99% of who you are. Your brain and your body simply do the bidding of the mind. So your mind is the animator of your brain and your body. It makes your brain and your body work. And now this is very hopeful because it means that we are not victims of our biology, we actually control and that's one of the statements in switch on your brain that's very popular, is that we're not victims of our biology, we are victors over and above our biology, if we understand. So mind and brain are separate. Mind, brain and body, three separate things, they work together. Mind is 90, 99 of who you are. And it's your ability to think, feel, choose love, experience, emotions, choose abstract thought, insight, intuition, all that great stuff. Your brain and your body are only 1% of who you are. And they are, they store the data. So this conversation, your mind is processing, your mind is understanding, your mind is taking all words and conversations and making sense. Your mind is linking it to existing thoughts in your mind. So what does the brain and body do? Well, it enables us to physically be here on this present in this earth and, and for us to communicate. So are we need the physical brain and body for the mind to work through. And so if we don't manage our mind, we damage our brain and our body. And this is why we have to clean up our mental mess. Switch on our brain with our mind. Those concepts that I use in my books is those titles and things is because mind is doing the work. So we need to focus on mind. We live in a world that focuses Tremendously on the physical. So it's brain, brain, brain. If something goes wrong, upset chemical imbalance, chemicals, wrong, genetics, your brain made you do it. And that's not actually correct science, it's incorrect, never was proven and has been consistently disproved. What has been consistently proved is that you with your mind run the show and these different parts of your mind. So in a nutshell, what we are able to do is rewire the brain and body. And that's great because every experience we have, like now this conversation, your mind takes it in, makes it into like a little cloud of energy and then puts that into the brain and grows these trees that you were speaking about. So our conversation is a cloud of energy. Think of the sky and clouds of energy in the mind. And the mind is all around you. You do this with your arms. That's kind of what we call the biofield of the mind. And it's through, round and through you. So you're right now everyone's building a little cloud of energy of this conversation. Then your mind puts that into the br and the body and in the brain it becomes like a tree. So my words are the roots. Your words are the roots because that's what the source and then the every person who's listening, the trunk is how they processing and the branches are how they perceive what we're saying and how they're going to use this information in that that's in the brain looks like a tree. And then the information in the body looks like a little squashed up tree, like a hedge. So we literally build everything in three places. And what this means is that memory is not in your brain only. It is in your mind, your brain and even in your body. So even in your fingertips, you are even building memory in your fingertips. I know that sounds so stupid, but it's throughout. And this is why our body reacts when you record traumatic events. Or we get that choke, that gut reaction. Because the memory is built from the mind into the brain and the body. So it's a whole worldwide web inside of us. So essentially what we are able to do is we can rewire those pathways, that network. We can change the cloud, we can change the the trees in the brain and we can train change the little hedges. And that requires us consciously, deliberately, intentionally connecting with our deep wise levels of our mind, what we call the non conscious, to make those changes. So if you built think of a toxic experience, maybe there's been an abuse in childhood. So that experience would have wired in via the mind. Ugly rain, ugly Stormy cloud, ugly looking tree, ugly looking hedges. And then that plays out in our life as lack of identity, breakdown in relationships, behavioral issues, problems at school, however, millions of different ways. So until we deal with it, it carries on getting stronger and stronger because whatever you think about the most grows. Which goes to the other part of what you commented on and that's that the tree gets stronger and stronger the more that I think like that without changing it, the bigger I make it. So the more entrenched that that pattern becomes and then the worse the behaviors become and that leads to down the line to mental health challenges, addictions, etc ET now the hope is that we can actually stand back, we can observe how we're showing up and now that we know a little bit more, you can say things like, well that's not who I am, that's who I have become because of the. Let's find the. Because of which is the root of the tree, which is the root on the hedges, which is the source of what made the rain cloud. And we can retrace our steps. So we're doing this with our mind. We observe how we stand, how we show up in the behaviors, school relationships. And we then can take that, track it back. You'll find a thought, A thought is an experience. The thought is the tree. So the tree thought, experience all the same thing. We can then say, oh, the branches of the tree, that's how I'm showing up. There's a reason. How did I think tree trunk? How did I get you? In other words, source, root, what happened? Ah, that happened. Now you can't change what happened. It's happened, it's past. But you can change how it plays out into your future. So we don't get stuck in the roots. You don't get stuck wishing why did that happen? How am I going to make them change? That's their problem. You have, you've got to sort you out. So then at least you know why. Now you can rebuild, you can reconstruct and then that reconstructing is okay, I need a new cloud, I need to change that cloud. I need to clean up the storm, I need to clean up that tree. I need to clean up the roots. And the way we explain it to the kids and I have all this by the way in very simple images in this book that you can explain even to a two year old. It's throughout the book. That particular book, it explains it in the app walks you through this process. But you literally are going to the roots and you putting plant food on and you're pruning the branches. That analogy you innate, you fixing and you fixing the hedges. And that takes time. And you rewire so you don't, you can't just yank it out. I wish we could. We can't. What we have to do is deconstruct, reconstruct. We have to rebuild. So it's the same area, the same network, but it's been redesigned. And you remember how you were, but you function differently. So that tree is no longer this big ugly thing. Big ugly hedges, big ugly rain cloud. They've now transformed to something beautiful. But inside that there's the little bit of storm, there's a little bit of the old branch, there's a little bit of the old route because that's now has no power. But now we remember how we were and how we've changed and that we can learn to do. That's what I've spent my life, works, life's work, doing all the books, all, everything. Teach you how to do this in different ways. Well, all the different aspects of this thing, if it makes sense.
- [16:49]
D
Well, it's so important. I was talking to a friend just the other day and she said something like, you know, I took all these classes growing up, you know, trigonometry. And she's like, I've not used any of it. But these types of things, this is what I really need. You know, how do I deal with my relationships? How do I deal when there's an issue like all like you talked about.
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B
Help in a hurry.
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D
What, what do I do when I'm anxious and when I'm stressed, when I have these different triggers and you know, how do I learn how to respond than react and not be a people pleaser? None of this is really included in the childhood package.
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E
It's not.
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D
And it's incredibly important. And so you have all these resources to help families to walk through it.
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B
The new year always feels like a reset for me. Not just for schedules and routines, but for our home too. I want our space to feel calm, functional and ready for the season ahead. Essentially the opposite of what it feels like over the holidays. With a stream of parties and gatherings, family visits that are fun and meaningful, but also add to the craziness. And honestly, Wayfair makes that so easy. If you're refreshing bedding, upgrading towels, organizing kids rooms or finally tackling storage, Wayfair really does have everything in one place. I love being able to shop for practical things like mattresses, bathroom storage and kitchen essentials and add in those finishing touches. That make a home feel cared for. This season I'm focusing on simple, cozy updates. We are refreshing bedding and adding a few accent pillows and mirrors to our living space space. Nothing over the top, just pieces that feel warm, lived in and inviting. I was honestly surprised by how many styles and price points there were. It made it easy to stay on budget without sacrificing quality or style. And I love how convenient it is to find everything from kids room updates to work from home setup to storage solutions for all the outdoor gear that somehow always piles up. Get organized, refreshed and back on track this new year. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home as we step into a new year and yes, take those first steps outside to kick it off. I always feel this pull to simplify, to reach for pieces that feel good, layer well and actually last. And that's why I've been loving Quince. Quince makes those wardrobe staples you reach for again and again. I'm talking about their Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the designer price, 100 silk tops and skirts that instantly dress things up step and denim that's cut just right for everyday life. Their Italian wool coats are a standout too. Beautifully tailored, soft and made to last for years, not just one season. You can feel the quality in the details, the stitching, the fit, the fabric. Everything is thoughtfully designed to become a true wardrobe essential. I can't tell you how much I'm loving my new cashmere sweater. It's getting so much wear already and it's holding up beautifully. I've even picked up a few Quince pieces for home and travel and the quality has been just as impressive. And the best part is Quince uses premium materials from ethical, trusted factories and prices everything far below traditional luxury brands. Quince is a big hit around here and I know you'll love what they have to offer as well. So refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com outside for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com outside to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com outside some weeks I just don't have the time or the brain space for real meal planning. I want to eat healthier. I care about what we're putting in our bodies. But by dinner time, I am tired and overwhelmed. And that's where Hungry Root has been such a gift. Hungry Root is basically like having a personal nutrition coach and grocery shopper rolled into one. I told them what we like, what we don't like, and what my health goals are. And they planned everything for me. The recipes, of which there are over 50,000. The groceries, all of it. And the more we use it, the smarter it gets, tailoring things even better to our tastes. I love that it makes healthy eating simple without overthinking it. Whether you're trying to eat cleaner, get more protein, or reduce inflammation, Hungryroot does the work for you without junk ingredients and with high quality meats and seafood. And if you're trying to stick with healthier habits past January, which aren't we all, this really helps make it doable right now. Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time. Get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com 1000hours and use code 1000hours. That's hungryroot.com 1000hours. Code 1000hours to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.
- [21:07]
D
And if you get your kids outside, then you have all of these touch points to help them to understand better. Someone was talking the other day about replanting. Like, you don't. If you uproot. Like, you're talking about, like, if you uproot, if. But you don't plant anything else. You don't come in with something positive.
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B
Or you talk about the positive cloud.
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D
It gets filled with weeds.
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E
Exactly. Well, it just worse. You know, that's the thing, Jenny. You raise a really good point that if something comes up and you don't deal with it, it actually just goes back worse than before. So it doesn't even, you know, doesn't even, you know, you can't pull anything out. That's the thing. We have this analogy that we can actually pull things out. You can't. You, if you, if you're aware of something and you don't, you don't process it, it goes back stronger than before. You're even more driven, but now you're more frustrated because, you know, hey, that's the cause or that is the direction of the cause. But I'm still stuck because you have to process. You have to go through the whole journey. And that takes time. And that's what the. When I spoke about a formula in the beginning, when I mentioned the word neuro cycle, what I was desperate to do when I started my research and working with clients of traumas, but also people with learning disabilities, people with neurological issues like Parkinson's, strokes, heart attack, autism, all that kind of thing, working on both fronts, the emotional traumas plus the neurological traumas that can happen, head injuries and so on. One of the things that I really saw and was desperate to research, which is why I did what I did, was how do I help someone do this? What do you do? What are the steps? What's step? 1, 2, 3, and, and part of that is having the knowledge, because unless you have knowledge, you won't believe that it works. So I always provide the empowerment and education. But then what do you do? And that's why I developed the neuropsycho formula, which is based on how information gets into the mind, brain, body network and then how to, you know, what is all the physiology and all that stuff and how do you reverse that? So I've done all the science and made and then in the formulas, what I've been testing over all these years in my clinical trials and that I write about and how you can apply it in different ways. But the point is that what I did show was that if you just become aware and a lot of intervention, a lot of suggestions that people use, you know, breathe, meditate, all these, these are all amazing, but they're only one part of the process. And so what we see is it's kind of like flying a plane. If you prepare your plane, if you just meditate, breathe, whatever, that's great, the brain planes prepared, but now I'm not going anywhere, I'm not moving forward. So now I've got to be do more, I've got to take off, which is become aware. What is the issue? How am I showing up in my emotions, my behaviors, my body sensations, my perspectives, but if I stop there, I'm going to crash. And this is what the research shows. If you just create awareness but you don't process it, people get worse. So now you need to process. It's kind of like flying the plane which has three parts to it. You need to reflect, you need to gather data. Why, where, who, what, what else comes up? How can I see this differently? That three step that I just did, three different things. Reflect, mindstorm and recheck or reconceptualize. Now I'm doing something, now I'm taking charge, now I'm rewiring, directing worry, and then I can land the plane. Okay, what action can I take to start making this happen in my life? And that's a little formula. And when you apply that in the moment, like in help in the hurry, that formula applied in the moment helps you just to get control of the moment. Then if you want to change, you find it's a pattern. Takes about 7 days to identify a pattern. If there's a pattern in your life, that means it's a habit, It's a thought habit that takes about 63 days, nine weeks to change a pattern. So as most people don't realize this, so they realize, oh, okay, I know this is what I've got to change. I understand, whatever. But they only go for one or two or three or four days or two weeks or three weeks. Not enough time. You have to go. What we see from the science is for you to make a change in your life, to help your child make a change, you have to go the full rewiring your brain, changing those proteins, changing those trees, changing those hedges, all that energy, it takes time, takes little day, not micro, little micro actions daily, but over at least nine weeks. And depending on the level of trauma, you might need multiple cycles of nine weeks. But this is something you can learn, this is something you can teach your kids. And we can even talk about a simple adaptation for your kids if you want. Okay, I've said I have long answers. I apologize if you want.
- [25:28]
D
I love, I love long answers. I basically all I want to do is sit here and listen and be fascinated. I love the long answers. I think it's just a really, it's hopeful because, well, first of all, you would maybe think that nothing is happening. But you say stuff is happening. Your actual brain is changing shape. So you say if you could zoom in, which, what a cool thing if you could zoom in. But what a great thing to teach your kids. If you could zoom in closely to the connections the branches grow from, you would see little things called spines. These spines change shape like there's actual change that's happening in the brain from a bump at around seven days. So one weekend you got a little bump. Then at 14 days you got the lollipop shape. The mushroom shape is 21 days. And then you talk about, you receive. We repeat this 21 day cycle for up to three more times for it to become automatic, odd, automatized. That's your 63 days. So this is in this book, but it's in the other books as well. It's in switch on your brain. This 21 day brain detox plan. You wrote who needs this?
- [26:30]
B
Everyone. Everyone.
- [26:33]
D
You could just repeat it. It's so. I like that what you think about the most will grow. And then you talk about this word gyrification, about these folds in the cortex of the brain and you end up getting these extra folds and then the brain can process faster and make decisions quicker. I guess I've never really considered, Caroline, the actual structure of the brain and it actually changing.
- [26:56]
E
Absolutely. And you know, the thing is that you do the changing, the brain doesn't change itself. So as soon as when a person dies, the brain doesn't just disintegrates. Within 20 seconds of the heart stopping, the brain flatlines and immediately all the cells start disintegrating. So the thing that changes the brain is you, your mind, your aliveness. And so that's the thing. And so your brain is just responding. It's just this machine that is a very sophisticated one, but it's just literally a machine that is designed to respond to your mind. So when we don't use it correctly, we create damage. So we're still going to grow. So let's say that we stay in a toxic pattern happen and we stay in a regret cycle. We stay in that people pleasing cycle. We stay getting worked up about everything. You still are increasing gyrofication, you're still increasing the start, you're still changing structure, but in the wrong direction. So neuroplasticity, which is a term a lot of people have heard of at this time, I did some of the earliest work back in the 1989. 1989, 1991 in neuroplasticity, before it was even an accepted word. It only became an accepted word in the mid-90s. But essentially what it means is that you can change your brain, that you will read and you and your listeners and viewers will read. Neuroplasticity is the brain can change the brain changing itself. The brain can't change itself. You change the brain, the brain does nothing except what you tell it to do. So and so you are always, you're alive. And because you're alive, you're taking in data. And that data goes in your brain and body. And you changing your brain and your body, but the way you change it, that's how you mean, that's depending on how you're using your mind. So your mind, your mind as you, the way you use your mind will determine the health of those trees and the health of the brain and body structure. Because remember the memories, the trees and hedges, memories are in the brain and body not just in the brain, which is fantastic to know. And this is why you getting outside. I mean, in this book I actually have places, multiple places where I say get your kids outside and I give examples. So totally in alignment with what you're teaching on your podcast, which is amazing, and how we don't have enough of that and how I even show stats. And I'm sure you've spoken about this, of course, over time how in the 60s versus 70s versus now in the 2002 to how kids are outside less and less and less and less even in school. I mean, how you used to have breaks where you went outside right now, like, you know all that kind of stuff. So yeah, so this is something we control. And those bumps, lollipops. And it's so cool because I mean, if you did doom into the tree and the hedges, what you would literally see is these neurons. Everyone's seen what a neuron looks like. Nerve, brain, nerve cells in the brain. They look like these Christmas trees with these long things and then these like little feet. So essentially what happens is that those little bumps, lollipops and, and mushrooms that I speak about, they occur on the dendrite, which is the top part. So if you think of a Christmas tree, it looks like a Christmas tree. And your own looks like a Christmas tree with the long body is the axon, which is the tree trunk and then it has roots. And that's kind of what in the looks like. So as you, as you're listening to me now, essentially as my words are coming in, you are growing little branches first in the cloud, then in the brain, then in the, in the hedges. And it all happens kind of simultaneously driven by the mind. And the little branches that we growing at first are on the. We looked on it's energy inside it's proteins and there's energy in the proteins. And that combination of energy and the proteins, the a reaction and it pushes a little bump on the outside. I'm simplifying complex science. And so as we as you're starting to live within the first today, we just. There's just a hint of a ripple. And if you go back and start reading and relistening within four days or so, there's. That has become a definite bump. And then it becomes. And so over time, as we see over, by the time it gets to 14 days, it's lollipop shape. So what I'm saying is the external physical change is a reflection of the mind work that we're doing. But those changes could be in either direction, good or bad, and that, that we can control. And if it's gone in the wrong direction, the good news is that you can break that back down and rewire it. That's the beautiful thing. And that's what the neurocycle, that's what the doing that daily for whatever, five to 15 minutes, five or five minutes with kids, three to five minutes with kids, 15 to 20 minutes with adults. That's how you exchange those and spines and all that stuff in the right direction.
- [31:09]
D
It's not that much time. It's not that much time. And you can do so much. I mean, if you really think about it going in different directions, that these extra folds in the brain, you're processing information faster, you're making decisions quicker, you're improving your memory. This is all in the positive direction. Right. You can improve your thinking, your emotions, your self regulation. So then you can also see my, maybe what might happen on the opposite end of that. And like I said before, these are things that no one really learns about. I've never learned about the physical changes. I didn't know that it looked like a tree. I didn't know that there was extra folds. Like I didn't know that in seven days there's actual physical change that you will be able to see. If you could see it. Seven days, that's not that much. So you talk about writing, you have different in, in all the books, different strategies that you can use. And you could use the app as well to start to make these changes and heading into 2026 in a new year. This is a great thing to learn about, especially if you're a parent, you want to teach your kids. Can you talk about multitasking? Because in a day and age where I think a lot of people are juggling a lot of different jobs, I think life with kids is really busy. One of the things that you talk about is multitasking. You say one of the plagues of modern existence is multitasking, which leads to the future. Plagues of hurry sickness and obsessive time management. What incredible phrases, Caroline. Hurry sickness and obsessive time management.
- [32:32]
E
Absolutely. Well, you've hit so many important points there. So quick aside, if I may say, then I'm going to dive in because this is such an important topic. But multitasking, Harry, sickness, obsessive time management, these are so critical because in trying to manage busyness, we, we've made these sort of adjustments so you could do time management to get even more busy. And it's actually quite toxic and we get be always in a hurry. Now the first thing to understand is that we are busy is natural to the human busy. We, we design for busy. We're very good at busy. It's when we do it sort of wrong and then when. And what is what I mean by wrong? It's when we try and think that I've got to cram, I've got to manage every moment and I've got to cram so much in and then we start trying to do more than one thing at once, which is multitasking and multitasking on a conscious level. Level you have a conscious mind which is awake when you're awake. It does not multitask. It cannot multitask. Now your conscious mind which is awake when you're awake is your think does your thinking feeling, choosing. It's your workhorse. It's kind of messy, it's beautiful. But it is limited to one thing at a time, one conversation at a time fast 2000 actions per second. But if you and I had, if you someone walked in your office, someone walked in mine and then there would be four conversations going. No one would know what the heck we were saying. Okay, so that's what what I mean, your conscious mind like you and my me having this intentional one on one conversation. However, we have a bigger part of us which is operates 24 7. It's unlimited by time and space. And that's the part of you it's called the non conscious inner in not subconscious, not unconscious. The non conscious. And that's where your brilliance, your intelligence, your wisdom, your intuition, all the good stuff lies. Everything that is amazing about you, it's also perfect. Every experience experience that you have is there. So good, bad and ugly. And if you have a toxic experience, it doesn't just only build it there, but it builds these solutions immediately. So it's literally as you're experiencing something toxic, it immediately builds all the options of solutions. So everything you need is in there. So what we need to do is to learn to tap into that level. So now that level can multitask. That level knows how to manage busy. That level knows how to time manage. So when we feel the urge to manage time and stuff, there's nothing, nothing wrong with that. When we feel the urge to to do that, we will automatically multitask. And we try. And so that gets very messy because consciously you can't multitask. Non consciously you multitasking even beyond you are simultaneous task multitasking slow for the non conscious. So the point that I'm making is all your systems, all your building of memory. Everything about you is happening at this very fast level anyway. But for you to exist in a daily life, in a physical body, we have to be that. That big, fast stuff is filtered into the consc. And as we're awake, we have to do one thing at a time. Now, the minute we try to start jumping from this to this to this to this to this, respond to that text. I've got to solve this problem. I'm about to go on a podcast interview, but I've got to solve that problem. I've got the kids. You try. And that is when you get into such a mess. That's why I called this book Cleaning up a mental mess. Help your child clean up the mental mess. You'll hear me play with that concept a lot is because the multitasking puts us into this mode then, okay, Productivity, hustle culture. I've got to get better at my time. And there's tremendous pressure. I've done lots of podcasts, by the way, on this sort of thing, so people can go and search for that. And listen, bottom line is if you multitask, you will get into a time management hurry sickness tis. So what you need to do is literally step back. You can doesn't mean that you have to slow down. It just means that you have to step back and stop reacting and start responding and start recognizing. Okay, I can only do one thing at a time now. I'm about to take my kids to school or I'm about to answer a business call. I'm about to like, now do an interview. I can't deal with that text that just came through. I can't deal with the demands of the rest of my office or my other kids or whatever. I'm in this interview. So I tell everyone, leave me alone for the next hour. Leave me alone for the 15 minutes before. I've got to go on the interview so I can get prepared. I'm just giving you an example because I had just before I got on, I had. You cannot tell me how many texts can you from my team and call them. I just said, the door is closed. I'm not answering until I've got time. So that's. But if I try to solve that, get that, get ready for you, I would have been a mess. And that's just an example. That's what we do. Then you think, okay, I've got to have time management. I've got to do a time management course. And then we start. Ah, and we can't keep up with that. It's just you can see how my shoulders are tensing up. So we just need to say what you know, we need to step back, just throw all the time management stuff aside and work out what is realistic for you to do today and so that you. And what's realistic and what is other boundaries. You need to be efficient. And what can you do now? Like you can tell your kids, I can only make lunch for one at a time. I'm going to do your homework. Just give me one second. Because they need to learn boundaries too. So you know you. Are you not being a bad mom if you say I cannot answer that question right now? I'll get it. If they freak out and react or your office worker freaks out and reacts, that's the problem, not yours. That really isn't your problem. It's their problem because you're going to get to their problem and solve it. When in. In your time. But we live in a productive hustle culture that productivity hustle culture. That, that. So we've got to push that aside.
- [37:50]
B
That massive January always feels like a fresh start in our homeschool. It's that reset moment after the holidays where you're refining what worked, letting go of what didn't and finding your rhythm again. Oh, and also you actually know what day it is again as opposed to being in that holiday induced fog where time and space seem to just meld into nothing and everything, everything all at once. One thing we've learned over the years is how important it is to meet each child exactly where they are. That's why IXL fits so naturally into our homeschool life. It adapts to each learner so one child can review last year's skills while another jumps ahead without pressure, comparison or busy work. I love how effortless it is as a parent. Everything is organized by grade and by topic, so I'm not digging through resources or reinventing the wheel. And the real time feedback is huge. Kids learn from mistakes immediately and the progress report reports give clarity and confidence. As a guide, IXL covers math, language arts, science and social studies from pre K all the way through 12th grade and it grows right along with your child. It is flexible, proven and trusted by millions of families. Make an impact in your child's learning. Get IXL now and 1000 Hours. Outside listeners can get an exclusive 20 off their IXL membership when they sign up today at www.ixl.com 1000hours Visit ixl.com 1000hours to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.
- [39:09]
E
Now to help people with this was Jenny, what I was telling you before we started was I told you about all the courses, but we also have a 21 day brain detox challenge starting on the 1st of January. Every, every January, always run a Brain Detox Challenge because we want to detox our brain, get our mind working properly at the beginning of the, of the year. And this year we've got a course being released called the 21 Day Brain Detox course. So that's another course in addition to the one I told you in the beginning. So you probably need a list for all these people to start. I would recommend. This is a great place to start because it's 21 days where I walk you through. You actually, you get the course. The course is amazing. It's got a video, it's got PDFs, it's got I hold your hand. I mean, you learn so much. You learn about this neuron recycle you all the things we're talking about, I walk you through it. And in addition, there's all the support on Instagram. Every day I release a little, I'll be releasing a little podcast. There's a community, everything. That's a great place to start. And then if you are into that, then from there you can go and get the Help in a Hurry course, the books, the app take you. You can then. So that's a great place to start because we've said a lot and it's kind of overwhelming. So that would be my recommendation. And in that we do talk, I do talk about multitasking and pretty much a lot of the concepts you've already offered me.
- [40:23]
D
And if you, like you said, if you find that that's helpful, then Help.
- [40:28]
B
In a Hurry also has a course.
- [40:29]
D
And if you sign up for that course, then you get the book for free.
- [40:33]
E
You do. And you get a signed copy in the Help and Hurry book course. And then also in this 21 day brain detox Challenge course, I'm also putting this book book in because it really helps because some of the things that you, I mean in here is how to deal with pressure. I talk about time management. In this book, I talk about multitasking. The stuff you questions, you ask me, these answers in there. And in the Brain Detox course, I also teach you how to apply that too. So that's. So you get this, this book in both courses and it's included for free. So which is really cool.
- [41:04]
B
It's really cool.
- [41:05]
D
It's so interesting, Caroline, because This book that we're talking about that I read, which is called switch on your brain, is from 2000 2013.
- [41:12]
E
Yeah.
- [41:13]
D
So you know, this is a decade.
- [41:15]
B
Old though it all still is very.
- [41:17]
D
Applicable and you're going to learn a lot from it. But it's from 2013 and you wrote in that book, in 2013, you wrote the last. The amount of time people spend multitasking American young people. The I'm going to read it actually verbatim here. The amount of time spent multitasking, you call it milkshake multitasking among American young people has increased 120% percent in the last 10 years. So this is from 2003 to 2013. I would imagine it's increased more. But you know, it's interesting to think about. We've been, our, our kids are 17 down to nine, but we started getting outside when they were three and under. It's been over 10 years, Caroline. And what I have felt, I have felt that things have gotten more harried. You can feel.
- [42:02]
E
Oh yes, absolutely. And there's some speaking on moms. I mean this is the, the I, I, I feel so, I mean my kids are all adults and older and from sort of 28 onwards and, but I look at them as parents and things and, and you just the pressure on parents to perform, the performative nature of parenting has detracted from. Well, there's no time for my kid to go play outside because I've got to be doing this and this and this and let me tell you, the best thing you can do is take away all the toys and give them some good old fashioned Tupperwares and boxes and stick them in your garden to play. They will do way better than all these expensive fancy whatevers and you know, yes. Controlling the cell phone, you've got to teach them all that. It's all, I'm not anti technology. You want all of it, but it's all, how do you manage it? Now that child's still growing when you're born, your non conscious mind, that big part of you, that intelligent part, all that intelligence is there but it filters through slowly and as we grow. So this is why you see in children this absolute like almost spiritual nature and the way that they can just enjoy things and then it starts changing around 1911 and shifting and all that stuff. Yes, these hormones and stuff. But they start learning and they have to go through this. They start learning to connect with this deep intelligent part and consciously work it out because it's a learning experience. It's not an automatic thing. It's going to, it's a process of learning. If we stifle that with too much busyness, too much controlled activity, too much doing, you know, getting them like ready to be little Einsteins, you, you detracting from that, that natural growth does just not happen. Read to them. I always tell my patients when I was my moms and my patients and I still say this now get outside. But read, read, read, read, read. Top of my prescription. Read, read, read. Go outside, sit under the tree in the snow, put up the umbrella. Read. Let them imagine it is the quickest way to develop language the quickest way to develop, develop to keep that connection between the conscious mind and the non conscious mind very strong. Outside reading, those are two things. Outside and free play. So even if it's raining you can't go outside. Free play and reading, those are two skills that will help your child stay at a place of help.
- [44:11]
D
Very, very important, simple, simple things.
- [44:14]
E
And if they're in that place where they're a mess, this is where this is. We're going to be bringing out a full course on this too but this book is very, very self explanatory Tree is because they're going to be living in a world that is not ideal, that isn't free play and it's. They're going to be in a world where there's so much pressure where school structured completely anti what they need. For example, a child should not be doing anything math oriented before sort of 9, 10 o' clock in the morning but often the first lesson of the day at 7:15 is math or something like that. They, they should be reading stories at that time. Very few schools are going to. I've worked in schools for years and trained teachers for years and set up systems and when you actually, actually get a child to read for the first hour of the day or just read to them, you will have a child focusing for most of the rest of the day. But that doesn't really happen. So children are in an environment where they're not going to get the ideal. So you do have to clean up the mental mess. So you do need to come in and that's why I wrote this book is to say okay, they're going to get labeled, they're going to get told they're not focusing, they're going to get told they've got adhd, they're going to get told all these things. So what is the truth? How do you manage that? How do you handle that? You know that's so that's really important to copy parents with those skills.
- [45:23]
B
So much there.
- [45:23]
D
There's so much there. Heading into a new year too. This is a great time to grab.
- [45:27]
B
Books like these and to really help.
- [45:28]
D
Your family grow in those areas. You say they're growing up in a world that's not ideal and that's sort of where we're at. You know, you talk about the multitasking had increased from 2003 to 2013, 120. How much has it increased from 2013 to 20, 25 or 20. You feel it. That's, you know, sort of what I was saying is we started to get outside and then I felt like, gosh, you know, even that it takes the edge off. But now I'm like, gosh, we've really got to protect our inside time. The screens just become so addictive and so pervasive and the amount of work that you do, same thing. There's just all these pressures. So it's good to have these reminders. I was at.
- [46:05]
E
Go ahead. Sorry, I didn't interrupt you, but I want to give you a little, a little tip that works brilliantly for inside screen time. Get Lego, lots of it. And make your kids build Lego while they watch tv. You, it's unbelievable how and if they, if they're watching something on their phone, you know, literally if they scrolling little that you should control. Obviously you all know that. I don't have to tell you what you already know. I'm speaking to the choir. But if they're watching tv, always make them bold Lego at the same time. And what it does is it keeps all the senses into integrated and it teaches them to focus in a different way and they will then. And then also another trick. And that's a trick. I mean it's an actual brain science thing, neuroscience thing is if they've watched TV for an hour, then they've got to read for an hour. And if you make that a rule, those two things alone will help control screen time. There's a million things out there on how social media is so bad for your kids, blah, blah, blah. This we have, we have found consistently when you build that into a child's life from as young as possible, you will, you will find that they don't get addicted to the screen time. It pretty much is a guarantee balance screen time. If you read. Okay, yeah, sure, go scroll for an hour now read for an hour watching tv, play the Lego or you know, there those other things, anything you get those magnetic blocks. But I like Lego because it Requires intimate, intricate. You got to pick things up, you've got to put things together, you got to design things. It requires quite a lot of skill and it really makes your brain work hard. But that's what we call brain building anyway. So those are just a couple little things that really, really help.
- [47:39]
B
I love those ideas.
- [47:40]
D
I love that you said it keeps your senses integrated. It makes me think about when you're sitting during a lecture and how, gosh, that would be so helpful to have your senses integrated, to be able to do something with your hand. It just makes you more engaged and I think you can take so much more in. Those are fantastic success suggestions. I read a statistic just recently that said that up until I don't remember when, maybe the 1990s, maybe even later, that the average child didn't start watching television, didn't have much screen exposure until age four and now it's four months.
- [48:13]
E
No, it's crazy. I've actually got a whole chapter in here on that as well. On the, on the different screen times and also in that, in switch on your brain. There's some stuff in there on that as well. No, it's scary. I know, it's absolutely scary. So it's, it's part of life. So yes, it can. Let me restate, let me rephrase that. I don't want people to feel fear is the worst thing. So let's change that. It's not fearful, it's reality. But if you don't manage that reality, you're going to. You, you. It's going to create a huge problem. So this is the reality we live in. How are we going to manage it? That's better than saying, oh my gosh, this is terrifying what's going to happen to my kids. Because that fear will block your ability to connect with your non conscious mind and find the wisdom and intuition to the situation in your family. So don't let fear rule. Just say this is a reality. How do I manage it?
- [49:01]
D
And you come up with these ideas that are exciting. It's exciting.
- [49:04]
B
Get the Lego bin out.
- [49:05]
D
It's exciting to. Oh, you're going to have your reading time. These are fantastic ideas.
- [49:09]
B
I'd love to wrap it up here.
- [49:10]
D
Because you talked about the kids and their spiritual nature and we were just the other night at a Christmas performance, you know, a kid's Christmas performance performance, and it's crowded. You know how these things are. There's no chairs, you know, the adults are kind of restless. You're like thinking about the work. You need to do. And right next to me there was these two and three year olds and they were just running in circles and then they were laying on the floor and then they were like rubbing their whole body on the ground. And then they would get up and they would chase each other again. There was nothing there. They had no toys.
- [49:37]
E
And I just sat at the face time.
- [49:40]
D
Yeah. And that joy that's there. So one of the things that you talk about is you talk about believing in God. And There are over 1200 studies linking intentional prayer in overall health and longevity. You had a physician or maybe a surgeon who had given a quote that said my experiences have convinced me because he would pray before his surgeries. I think my experiences have convinced me that spirituality is a crucial element to the wellbeing of a person as a whole. You talk about the helper T cells and that belief in God is actually helping the body. Body, yes. I think that'd be a great thing.
- [50:14]
B
To wrap it up with.
- [50:15]
E
I know it's great and it is great. And I want to stress here that this is not just who we are. There's this massive eternal nature that we have. And in fact there's more research confirming that consciousness or mind you, our eternal nature exists beyond the physical body. Once physical body dies, eternal nature exists beyond. There's more research proving that than there is medications which is made amazing. So in other words, the spiritual, we are spiritual. Now your non conscious level that I keep referring to, that is your spiritual level and it's where wisdom, intelligence, intuition, etc reside. So spirituality can express itself in many forms, but that is essentially the core of who we are. And so we need to keep on, you know, developing that. And so the system that I've developed, the formula, it's all about how do we tap into that non conscious spiritual level. It's all geared to that because when you tap into that that you can actually run your life. You're still going to cry and be sad and whatever, but you'll have peace in the midst of chaos and that's what we need.
- [51:14]
D
You have the ability to quiet your mind, focus your attention on the present issue, capture your thoughts and dismiss the distractions that come your way is an excellent and powerful ability that God has placed within you. In the busy age we live in, however, we have trained ourselves out of this natural and necessary skill. There are so many tools that you can get from the books that you've written. The one I have here is called.
- [51:36]
B
Switch on your brain.
- [51:37]
D
It's got over 8, 500 reviews on Amazon. The key to peak happiness, thinking and health. In this one, you talk about meditators, regular meditators. You talk about negative thinking, talk about Sabbath in the brain. You talk about your default mode network. And you talk about how this, this.
- [51:51]
B
Short amount of time, five to 16.
- [51:52]
D
Minutes a day of focused, meditative capturing of thoughts shifts. It shifts your brain. Brain so that you're more likely to engage in the world. There's so much I got out of just this one book. You talk about quantum things, so that's interesting. All the things that, like, you wouldn't have learned about in school. You're learning trigonometry, but you really need to know about how the brain does the bidding of the mind. So you can learn about that in.
- [52:17]
B
This help in a hurry.
- [52:18]
D
You can get the course and get.
- [52:19]
B
The signed copy of the book for free. There's how to help your child.
- [52:22]
D
There's also the Neuro Cycle app. And as well there is clean up.
- [52:27]
B
Your cleaning up your mental mess.
- [52:29]
D
So if any of this is of interest to you, you can kind of go down those different paths and figure.
- [52:32]
B
Out where to start.
- [52:33]
D
I'll make sure I'll put all the links in the show. Notes Caroline. We always end our show with the same question. What's a favorite memory from your childhood that was outside.
- [52:40]
E
Oh, gosh. Going to. We had this incredible. I grew up in South Africa. I was born in Zimbabwe. We had this beautiful holiday flat was in Durban, which is on the coast. And we would go. And we would go out and onto the beach and I just remember that excitement as a child of just my feet on the sand and the sea and that it's just never gone away. You know that from. From a little child. So I always recall that. So, yeah, it's a beautiful memory.
- [53:07]
D
Thank you so much for being here.
- [53:08]
E
You were amazing. You so organized. I loved. I loved how you did it. And we hit some. Listen, we got deep in a short time. Very important. Impressive. Thank you. Great interview. I loved it.
- [53:19]
B
All right. If you're walking away from this conversation with a new language for your own mind or new compassion for your kids, I'm so glad you listened. Please consider sending it off to one person. A sister, a friend, your group chat, a spouse, someone who's been feeling stretched, reactive, or emotionally maxed out. And if you've never left a review for the show, I'd be so grateful if you left. One short is perfect. A sense or two helps the podcast podcast get in front of families who are looking for this message. So it just takes a minute or two. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Until next time. May you find extraordinary moments on ordinary paths.
- [53:56]
A
Get outside, Open your eyes Feel that sunshine kissing your skin Throw your worries.
- [54:03]
D
Out to the wind.
- [54:07]
A
Climb some trees Skin your knees Feel that grass on your feet again get out there and.
- [54:14]
D
Take it in.
- [54:18]
A
Oh, it's a beautiful world Ain't nothing on the screen that's ever gonna beat this.
- [54:33]
E
Beautiful world.
- [54:36]
A
And I just want to share with I just want to share with you this beautiful world Such a beautiful world.