← The 500 with Josh Adam Meyers
The 500 with Josh Adam Meyers
Introducing...Everybody Knows But Me
00:36:55
When comedian Holly Anabel Brown was 17, her dad was dying of cancer when he dropped a bombshell: she had twin brothers she never knew existed - young boys her entire extended family had kept secret. After his death left her with more questions than answers, Holly sets out to uncover how a secret this big could be hidden, and why the sitcoms that raised her were often the only way to make sense of a life stranger than TV.
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- [00:01]
Host/Announcer
Next Chapter Podcasts Hey Fleece army, we need your help to make the 500 even better by telling us a bit more about yourself. Go to www.surveymonkey.com R3TWX8YD for a quick listener survey. It only takes a few minutes and directly supports our team. To show our appreciation, we're giving away two 50 gift cards to lucky participants every single month. So head to www.www.surveymonkey.com R as in randy/3 the number T as in Tony, W as in Woman, X as in Xerox and 8 as the number Y is in yellow D as in Dog. I'm saying this, we're gonna put the link on our website if you can't see that, that was a lot. But this is your chance to win. It helps our show. We really appreciate it. We want to know more about you because you know so much about me. So yeah, dude, do it. Www.surveymonkey.com TWX8Y D that's a mouthful, but it's there.
- [01:14]
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- [02:11]
Host/Announcer
Hey guys. So longtime listeners will know that I've shared a lot of stories over the years of doing the 500. Some hilarious ones from my dating life and career, and some more emotional moments in my personal journey. You've all laughed and hopefully connected with me along the way because everybody has a story to tell and a lot of people have weird relationships with their parents. But I want to tell you guys about a new show coming out for my home network, Next Chapter Podcast that is going to be a real doozy. Like me, Holly Brown is a comedian who had a difficult connection with her dad growing up. But while a lot of you have probably heard similar stories of alcoholism abuse, nothing will prepare you for the secret her dad revealed to her when she was in high school. Now, years later, Holly is finally ready to unpack this family mystery in the only way she knows how through a darkly funny true narrative that reimagines her life as the lost sitcom all your 90s kids have been waiting for. I won't say any more, y'.
- [03:07]
Holly Brown
All.
- [03:07]
Host/Announcer
Listen. Just that Holly's story is like an onion. It has way more layers than you realize. So here's episode one for you to check out right here. And if you like what you hear, go follow Everybody knows but me wherever you get your podcasts, because episode two just dropped and you won't believe where it's headed.
- [03:28]
Holly Brown
Did you ever feel like your life was a TV show? If millions of people were tuning in every Friday night to see what kind of crazy antics you and your family and friends getting into, do you think they'd be watching a sitcom or a drama? I know what you're probably thinking right now. You're probably saying to yourself, uh, Holly, life's not that simple. Sometimes it's hysterically funny and sometimes it's fucking horrifying. That's me, by the way. I'm Holly. Holly Brown. Nice to meet you. And trust me when I say I agree with you. But I hope you won't think it's cliche when I also say that. Growing up, I genuinely believed my life had to be scripted. I desperately wanted it to be a sitcom so badly. I mean, I was the daughter of a man who literally helped build sitcom worlds for a living. Growing up in Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley in the 90s, show business was part of our physical reality, something you could come face to face with every day. Especially since my dad, Mark, worked behind the scenes on the kind of shows that made families look perfect, or at least perfectly dysfunctional.
- [04:42]
Host/Announcer
Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here. Niles bought a starter's pistol.
- [04:48]
Holly Brown
And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
- [04:50]
Host/Announcer
Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much
- [04:55]
Holly Brown
to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room. I always assumed that's where my intense love of sitcoms came from. Those tidy 30 minute universes full of love lessons and the kind of laughter that only exists because a producer is holding up a sign telling a live studio audience how to react. What do you think of me now? Sitcoms didn't just play in the background of my childhood, though. They consumed it. My dad worked his way up through Hollywood from being a best boy. And no, that's not a tiny little Groomsman in a wedding. Then he paid his dues in various other roles behind the camera, eventually establishing himself as the lead man in the art department. And as a Hollywood obsessed kid, I loved being on set with him and going to tapings. Roaming the Paramount backlot felt like a dream filled with recognizable sets and celebrities just existing like normal. I thought it was so cool that my dad played basketball with George Clooney and chatted with Michael Keaton like it was nothing. But more importantly, he got me original art from the Rugrats. The Rugrats. And Salem Saberhagen's paw print signature from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Salem. Is this a desperate cry for help?
- [06:13]
Mark Brown (Dad)
No, this is help.
- [06:15]
Holly Brown
I'm running out of air.
- [06:16]
Host/Announcer
Zap it off and gimme mouth to mouth.
- [06:20]
Holly Brown
I mean, these kinds of things made me feel pretty special, different from other kids in my house. Our furniture was mostly props from Frasier sets. A pair of bar stools, a wooden hutch, our dining room table. I'd sip my chocolate milk from the same Cafe Nervosa cup as Frasier Crane and think, see? My life is a TV show. But as I got older, I started to wonder if maybe it wasn't that I loved sitcoms because my dad helped create them. Maybe I loved them because I needed to believe my life could become one. That this world I was living in, the one filled with intense sickness and screaming matches where pain pills and silent prayers for someone to step in and save us were all conveniently off camera. It all felt so unbelievably cruel and absurd that it had to be cooked up in a writer's room. Because if it were scripted, maybe it could be rewritten. Maybe it could still have a happy ending. When you stripped away the props that filled our house. The autograph book signed by my TGIF heroes, the golf cart rides around the studio lot as a kid, you'd actually see that my life was anything but wholesome family fun. In reality, the worst things that could happen always did. But just like the spotless sitcom perfect sets my dad helped build, everything looked fine from the outside. And people saw what we wanted them to see. Or maybe what they wanted to see. Everybody wants to believe in a happy family, right? After all, ours pretty much looked the part with all the tried and true stereotypes. The kind mom, the older sister on the honor roll, the rebellious middle child, the zany little brother and the perfect sitcom dad. Tim the Toolman Taylor. Danny Tanner. Me Al, Al Bundy. Do I come to the hag shop Bother you when you're Working Carl Winslow almost lost it there. My old man could steal the show with the best of them. He looked like a sitcom dad too. Dark hair and broad shoulders, a mischievous grin he'd flash right before doing something ridiculous. His looks and likability always reminded me of John Ritter growing up. If John had been just like a lot more rough around the edges. Two glasses of white wine, please.
- [08:52]
Casey (Older Sister)
I'll have the same.
- [08:57]
K.J. (Aunt)
I think everyone sort of idolized your dad because he had such a strong personality. He could take over any room he walked into, take over any party we were at. He always wanted to perform, he always wanted to entertain people, and he did for years. He just was somebody that I think a lot of people looked up to.
- [09:25]
Holly Brown
That's my aunt K.J. one of my dad's four siblings, who knew full well that in a family so big, you had to have something special to stand out. And that didn't end once he grew up and left home to make it on his own. No matter what my dad did, his charm and imagination knocked you off your feet. Take movie night in our house, movie night wasn't just throwing on a vhs, it was an event. Before every movie, we were served by our butler Jeeves, who bore a striking resemblance to my dad in a ponytail with a British accent and a napkin draped over his arm.
- [10:00]
Casey (Older Sister)
Dad like primed us to believe in everything, though. Like we just lived in a kind of magical childhood. I don't remember what he did, I just remember the towel and his British accent and that he had. He had three. Jeeves had three kids in England named Yisak, Lee, hall and Sunkar. So just pig Latin versions of our names. I guess I forgot about that. And he would tell us all about his kids in England who were shockingly similar to us in so many ways, but British.
- [10:34]
Holly Brown
My older sister Casey, who you just heard has some conflicting memories about exactly which version of him had the ponytail. Because after all, he did have multiple characters. There was also Bob the Bowler, a fast talkin pro bowler from New York, New Jersey. Eh, the region is fuzzy, but our local bowling alley was his stage.
- [10:57]
Casey (Older Sister)
You know, I think you think about it when you're an adult and maybe people would be like, what the heck, guys? You really thought you had a butler that flew in from England. But like, you know, we would drive up to see our grandma and grandpa, they lived like three hours north of us in California, and you drive past the ocean along most of the way and our dad would be driving and like, I mean this man was a trained actor. The Most convincing would be like, guys, guys, did you see that? Did you see that? And you'd be like, no. What? It's like, I saw a mermaid tail out there. I can't believe you all missed it again. But, you know, you're living in a world where, like, mermaids are real, fairies are real fairies. And sprites. Sprites and Snickers.
- [11:41]
Holly Brown
Music was another part of his magic. My dad was music in every sense of the word.
- [11:48]
K.J. (Aunt)
We would sit as a family and just wait for him to come home so he could play whatever new song really about our family. I mean, I know you've heard all the Christmas songs he wrote and all the Thanksgiving songs and all the wedding songs, but he always wrote very personal songs. I wish that we had a recording of our wedding song. And I asked him way too late to please record it, but he was so sick. He could.
- [12:15]
Holly Brown
Couldn't.
- [12:15]
K.J. (Aunt)
Yeah, like, I can't.
- [12:16]
Holly Brown
Yeah.
- [12:17]
K.J. (Aunt)
I can't do it. I can't do it justice, but I. It was beautiful. It was a beautiful song.
- [12:24]
Holly Brown
He'd play Beatles songs so well on his guitar that I thought he must have been in the band himself. He could listen to a song on the radio and without a single lesson, play the melody on a piano every time. He wrote songs for his siblings and nieces, weddings, and recorded an entire album in our garage that, I swear to you, holds up. Tell me this country song doesn't slap. I dare you.
- [12:51]
Narrator/Singer
Gather round my family and friends so dear I'll sing y' all a story if you'll lend me your ear About a midnight ride back some 50 years and you could say my grandpappy was Paul Revere.
- [13:06]
Holly Brown
Wherever we went, my dad carried an energy that pulled people in. He. He talked to every cashier, asking them about their day, as though it were the most interesting conversation he'd ever had. He'd tell stories about jumping onto moving trains, driving his motorcycle off a bridge, and doing so many drugs that I'd say, dad, oh, my God. And you believed him? Not because this story sounded real. I'm honestly not sure what was and what wasn't, but because he. He did. Everybody put my dad on a pedestal. Everybody.
- [13:42]
K.J. (Aunt)
He was just everybody's friend, everybody's hero.
- [13:47]
Holly Brown
I mean, how could they not see him that way? He was the epitome of main character energy. He was the funniest man I've ever known. Always committed to making someone laugh. And for the better part of the last decade, I have been, too. Time out. You know my name but you don't really Know me, I'm a stand up comedian who shares a little too much of herself on stage. If you're asking yourselves much like I do, well, holy Urban Outfitters, they don't have public restrooms. Did you shit your pants? Well, no, idiots, I shit their pants. But there are some things I've never been able to talk about openly. Talking about them openly means I lose control of the narrative, which honestly scares the shit out of me because I spent most of my life with zero control over what was happening to me. And really, it means I'm gonna finally have to confront a bombshell that my dad dropped on me almost 15 years ago, one I've been actively avoiding ever since. A secret that forced me to reckon with what family secrets do to you and how they quietly rearrange everything you thought you knew. Okay, so this is the part in the sitcom where the theme song kicks in. I pull up in my cool ass convertible in front of a totally nondescript suburban house. I walk up to the door, my key hits the lock, and as it turns, the title slams onto the screen. Everybody knows but Me From Next Chapter Podcasts and Companion Arts. This is episode one, the one with my dad's confession. It's just so interesting how family dynamics, like, you can see it coming from a mile away, and when it's happening, you just can't. You're blind to it.
- [15:44]
K.J. (Aunt)
Well, and you. And you're living it, so it's hard to separate yourself. But I have seen that since the time you were a little girl. You and your dad are more alike than Casey and Carson. You know, you're just so much alike. And so I knew there was always going to be some conflict.
- [16:08]
Narrator/Singer
Isn't that funny?
- [16:09]
Holly Brown
You could be twins with somebody and you're like, why do I hate you?
- [16:12]
Narrator/Singer
No.
- [16:13]
Holly Brown
Yeah. My dad and I are too much alike sometimes. I've always felt the most similar to my dad. And as magical as he was, I was never quite sure that being so much like him was a good thing. That was something I really struggled with because my dad was fun, charming, and deeply, deeply flawed. But the myth of Mark Brown wasn't.
- [16:37]
K.J. (Aunt)
I think he definitely wanted to be everybody's best friend, and he always wanted to please everybody and especially mom and dad. Mom idolized him.
- [16:48]
Holly Brown
Really?
- [16:48]
K.J. (Aunt)
Yes. I mean, parents aren't supposed to have favorites. Mark was Mom's favorite.
- [16:53]
Holly Brown
You could tell.
- [16:54]
K.J. (Aunt)
No doubt.
- [16:55]
Holly Brown
I think it's a safe assumption to make that my dad was literally everybody's favorite.
- [17:00]
Cheryl (Aunt)
I just remember he would come in and go, rabbit And Babbitt. And Babbitt cakes. And I just loved him so much.
- [17:08]
Holly Brown
I didn't know he came up with baby cake.
- [17:09]
Cheryl (Aunt)
Yeah, he came up with baby cakes. Oh, yeah, for sure. And the rabbit. And Babbitt. And Babbitt cakes. What is that? He would just always say that to me. He'd go, rabbit and Babbitt. And Babbitt cakes. And then he would always give me 100 kisses on my face.
- [17:25]
Holly Brown
Oh, that sounds so him.
- [17:26]
Cheryl (Aunt)
50 on each cheek every time. And I'd be like, no, no. And I just, you know, no, no, no. And I loved every bit of it.
- [17:33]
Holly Brown
Yeah. That just feels like Anything he could do to attack you with a affection.
- [17:37]
Cheryl (Aunt)
Yes, of course.
- [17:37]
Holly Brown
Something he would do. That's my Aunt Cheryl, the youngest of my dad's siblings. My grandpa was in the Air Force, which meant the family moved around a lot. In the mid-1960s, when my dad was about 8 years old, they landed in a small town off of California's Central coast called Lompoc, best known for its flower fields, a military base and a very large prison. And with a family of seven, I can only imagine how chaotic things were. There was my granddad, Cecil, but we called him Charlie Brown. Joyce, my grandma, or as we called her, Mamu. My Aunt cecilia, the oldest. Two years later came my dad. Three years after that, my aunt K.J. then my uncle Matt, and finally Aunt Cheryl, or, as you heard earlier, baby KJ. For most people, it would be pretty hard to stand out in a family that big, but somehow my dad made it sound pretty easy.
- [18:39]
K.J. (Aunt)
The first time I realized what a performer he was, I was probably in elementary school. I might have been in junior high and Cabrillo High School, which is where your dad and your Aunt Cecilia, they were in high school school together. And I think your dad might have been a freshman in high school. And they were putting on the play Our Town, okay? And he didn't get a part in the play, and I think your Aunt Cecilia did in the play, but your dad did not. But he was a freshman, and they had, you know, seniors trying out, so they had to give them to the seniors. But before the play started and during intermission and stuff, they asked your dad to sing. To play, you know, play the guitar and sing. And we were sitting there waiting for the play to start. And your dad walked down the aisle of the theater singing.
- [19:41]
Holly Brown
He was walking and singing at the
- [19:42]
K.J. (Aunt)
same time and playing his guitar. And I thought, he's so great. And, you know, he had played the guitar at home. I don't think at that time in his life he had written his own songs yet. Maybe, and I didn't realize it, but that was the first time I'd heard him in public singing. And I thought, he's so good.
- [20:04]
Cheryl (Aunt)
He's.
- [20:05]
K.J. (Aunt)
That's my brother.
- [20:06]
Holly Brown
And how brave, proud.
- [20:07]
K.J. (Aunt)
I was more proud of him than I was of the play. I mean, you know, Cecilia was in the play, and that was fine. Whatever. She probably had a lead role. I don't know.
- [20:20]
Holly Brown
From that point on, my dad had dreams that were too big to stay inside him and way too big to stay in a small town like Lompoc. After attending college in Texas, he moved to the place where serious theater people go to make it big. New York City. He auditioned for plays, was so broke, he slept under the bar at his job. And let's be honest, I know he did a lot of partying. And out of all of his children, why did I have to inherit the performance bug? In this economy? I couldn't have loved math or plants. I had to love art and attention. A few years after I started doing standup, around 2018, I was digging through some boxes in the garage when I found a very old journal. It was immediately clear that it was my dad's because the first page was a very long list of women's names. Some I recognized from his stories, some I didn't recognize at all, and some that were just written out as Myra, Hot Tub, or Lucy's friend. Yeah, you're hearing that right. The first page of my dad's journal was his incredibly long sex list. I told you, everybody loved Mark Brown. The last number on his list was left blank, and I like to think that's when he met my mommy. But more on that later. Most of the rest of this journal was illegible. Bits of songs, fragments of books, plays. His handwriting was historically terrible, but there was one passage I could read, and it said, I don't like bartending. I have to act. The problem is New York offers no money to actors. You have to have money in New York. Money is the key to comfort here. But I'll be back. Jesus, I am 25. I need to start making money at my trade.
- [22:29]
Narrator/Singer
Read.
- [22:30]
Holly Brown
Maybe things will come from 26. I was 25 when I found that journal. Reading words my dad had written when he was the exact same age as me. I could feel him on those pages. Honestly, I felt like I could have written them myself. Not much has changed about acting or performing since then. You still need money. Neither of us had it. But God did he let. Love the craft. And there it is again. A reminder. I am so much like my dad.
- [23:03]
Casey (Older Sister)
I remember dad told me a story about an audition he went on for a soap opera. And our dad did a lot of Shakespeare, as we mentioned, and was a huge snob, just to say. Very pretentious, like, loved to talk about how smart he was. And he does the soap opera and he gets a callback, and he decides during the callback that he can't be on a soap opera because it's beneath him.
- [23:27]
Holly Brown
Oh, my God.
- [23:28]
Casey (Older Sister)
As an actor, can you imagine? He does Shakespeare. And apparently, according to dad, the person who got the role in the soap opera Kelsey Grammer.
- [23:37]
Holly Brown
No way.
- [23:38]
Casey (Older Sister)
Who our dad later worked for.
- [23:40]
Holly Brown
I got to talk to Kelsey. I'm not kidding. I gotta figure out a way to talk to Kelsey Grammer. But apparently, crazy if I can confirm
- [23:45]
Casey (Older Sister)
that, yeah, supposedly Kelsey got that role that my dad went out for.
- [23:49]
Holly Brown
Are they same age?
- [23:50]
Casey (Older Sister)
I mean, I'm assuming they're pretty close in age. Yeah.
- [23:53]
Holly Brown
Wow. From everything I've known and from everybody I've ever talked to, it's clear he had it. Being a performer was the most important thing to him, second only to being a dad, allegedly. Lucky for me, in the mid-1980s, he headed back west and met my mom before any star making role ever came. And when you move to Hollywood dreaming of being in front of the camera, the next best thing is getting as close as possible. So he moved behind the scenes. And it couldn't have happened at a better time. The golden age of sitcoms.
- [24:38]
Host/Announcer
What's up? What's up?
- [24:40]
Cheryl (Aunt)
Whoa.
- [24:41]
Holly Brown
Seven condoms a day.
- [24:42]
Host/Announcer
All right.
- [24:43]
Casey (Older Sister)
How rude.
- [24:45]
Holly Brown
There are plenty of other hot looking
- [24:46]
Carson (Younger Brother)
chicks who are dying to go with me.
- [24:48]
Host/Announcer
A lot of sick people out there, man.
- [24:50]
Holly Brown
Jeffrey, go fetch my tools.
- [24:51]
Host/Announcer
You mean your knife and fork?
- [24:56]
Holly Brown
But first, the kids who ruined his dreams. I mean the kids who gave his life new meaning. You've already met my sister. She's a year and a half older than me and arrived the same year as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to be my greatest friend. I wasn't even one yet when my dad landed a job on a brand new sitcom in 1993 that would basically become the wallpaper of my childhood. Frasier. You can probably tell how enmeshed our lives were with Frasier by the Niles Crane tribute tattoo I have or the Creative Arts Emmy he won as part of the show's crew, which now hangs above my desk. But the real impact Was less trophy, more childhood. My sister and I wrote letters to Santa on the back of Frasier scripts. We went to Halloween parties at Kelsey Grammer's house where my dad designed Kelsey's annual haunted houses like they were his passion projects. We attended every single Fraser softball team game. Time out. Did you know every sitcom had a softball team? And I mean every show. Seinfeld, Friends, Two of a Kind. Remember that one? We spent hours watching my dad win over yet another crowd from the bleachers. I even met Malcolm in the Middle himself in the middle of a game. All I'm asking is for the courtesy of not being treated like an idiot. Seasons one through six of my life had a loyal audience, consistent storylines and familiar characters. And then in 1997, the same year south park burst onto the airwaves, we got a surprise ratings boost. No one saw coming a baby boy, my little brother Carson.
- [26:50]
Carson (Younger Brother)
It was kind of cool to like be in that guy's orbit when you like like oh, I guess am I, you know, that's my dad. You know, it just felt like when he entered the room, the room was like the lights turned on, you know what I mean? I don't know, it just felt like he was like the. When people say the life of the party, he was the life of the party always. So I don't know, it's just. I'd say probably some of the earliest memories I have would be like going trout fishing in Bouquet Canyon with him. That was fun. I remember him teaching me how to play catch, but I just wouldn't hold the glove right. I was scared. And I remember him getting really mad at me because I wouldn't do it. I just, I also, I remember like doing stuff in the garage. I've always liked to. I was already always interested in what he was making and he was not a very good craftsman.
- [27:38]
Casey (Older Sister)
What that bong he made wasn't expert level craftsmanship.
- [27:42]
Carson (Younger Brother)
He had all the heart. He didn't have the, the connection to the brain.
- [27:50]
Holly Brown
One of the most unique experiences my brother had was when my dad actually gave him a cameo in an episode of Frasier. My little six year old brother. How many people can say that? He had a way of making us all feel individually loved. Like you were his favorite co star. But depending on the era, you are meeting a very different version of that larger than life leading man.
- [28:14]
Carson (Younger Brother)
I do think a lot of my memories are either tied to home videos or photos. So pre cancer I don't remember much really. I know I don't really feel like I Ever had a memory with like a sound bodied father.
- [28:27]
Casey (Older Sister)
Really?
- [28:27]
Carson (Younger Brother)
Yeah. I don't ever remember dad with like to me dad's always been frail.
- [28:31]
Holly Brown
Yeah.
- [28:32]
Carson (Younger Brother)
Very, very one or two years where I can remember things like trout fishing and like baseball, but other than that,
- [28:39]
Casey (Older Sister)
that's so crazy because I just remember when I was little thinking dad was like the strongest man in the world. You know, it's just, it's such a different experience because he would like pick us each up on each arm and he'd like show his big muscles and get that weight machine in the garage and everything. And so I just remember thinking like, well, we have the strongest dad period.
- [28:58]
Carson (Younger Brother)
He must be the strongest dad in the universe.
- [29:00]
Casey (Older Sister)
He's the strongest and he told us and so it's true. And he can pick up a child. He's the strongest dad. Yeah. He can pick up 40 pound kid. But yeah. So I just. That was my little kid memory of dad. And then it's like, I think, I think you. There is photograph. You can see in photographs, like when the drinking got really out of hand
- [29:22]
Carson (Younger Brother)
because he got pretty.
- [29:24]
Casey (Older Sister)
Was pretty, pretty puffy.
- [29:25]
Holly Brown
Oh my God.
- [29:26]
Casey (Older Sister)
Pretty puffy in a lot of pictures and very red.
- [29:32]
Holly Brown
Memories are weird like that. And I'm trying to fill in the gaps of my own. Even my older sister, who remembers everything, doesn't remember one of the most important moments of our lives. The moment our dad sat us down when we thought we were learning one thing and we found out something else that changed everything entirely. I have more questions for him and ultimately the rest of my family. Why did he try to shield us from the truth? Was he trying to protect himself or us? Is there more? I still don't know. Who in my family can I trust? And why did everybody know but me? So get ready because we're gonna explore the answers to these questions and a lot more. And occasionally my extremely fucked up life will act like the sitcom I always wished it could be.
- [30:30]
Announcer
Everybody Knows But Me is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
- [30:44]
Mom
It's so hot out I can barely move.
- [30:48]
Holly Brown
Me too, honey. Oh, I haven't gotten off the couch in days.
- [30:53]
Mom
Fifteen different prescriptions at once probably didn't help either, Mom. Well, sounds like Carson's on the roof again. At least this time he's trying to fix the AC unit. Correction, he was on the roof.
- [31:15]
Holly Brown
Does anyone know what a Phillips head screwdriver looks like?
- [31:18]
Cheryl (Aunt)
Also, does anyone know a repair guy who isn't 12?
- [31:28]
Holly Brown
Good news, sis. It's actually somehow colder outside than it is in Here.
- [31:32]
Mom
We can't live like this. I thought dad said he was gonna get the air conditioning replaced weeks ago.
- [31:38]
Holly Brown
Four weeks, six days, nine hours and 14 minutes, actually. But who's counting?
- [31:43]
Mom
Where is dad anyway? Didn't he want to tell us something?
- [31:47]
Carson (Younger Brother)
Hmm?
- [31:48]
Holly Brown
Oh, yeah, he. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bask for the exciting glow of your father's Big enough.
- [32:03]
Mom
I think the heat got to her. Yeah, Casey, the heat.
- [32:15]
Mark Brown (Dad)
Is it just the cancer in me, or is it cold as hell in here?
- [32:24]
Mom
Hot, dad. Hell is hot, which is why I'm pretty sure we're living in it.
- [32:29]
Holly Brown
Technically, in Dante's Inferno, the deepest circle of hell is a frozen wasteland.
- [32:36]
Mom
Okay, dad, out with it. Why the family meeting? We getting central air or what?
- [32:41]
Mark Brown (Dad)
Well, I. I've actually got something to tell you.
- [32:46]
Mom
Did the doctor say something? This isn't the big bad news, is it?
- [32:52]
Holly Brown
Oh, it's big news, all right. So what is it, dad? Is Frasier coming back?
- [32:58]
Mom
Do you have your old job again? Are we trading top ramen for tossed salad and scrambled eggs?
- [33:04]
Mark Brown (Dad)
Come on. You know once TV shows end, they don't ever come back. I. I don't know how to say this, but I. Well, I had a relationship with someone who wasn't your mother. And you have twin brothers. They're five years.
- [33:39]
Mom
So not dying, then.
- [33:48]
Mark Brown (Dad)
Oh, I'm dying alright. Dying of thirst. What does a guy have to do to get a beer around here?
- [33:55]
Holly Brown
Dad, you can't have a beer.
- [33:58]
Mom
You have cancer.
- [34:03]
Announcer
Our show is proudly brought to you by Upside Down Backwards Visor and the Memory of smoking indoors. Remember when we used to be able to smoke inside? Life seemed a lot simpler back then, didn't it? And if you weren't around for it, well, you really missed out. Anyways, thanks again for tuning in to Everybody Knows But Me.
- [34:30]
Narrator/Singer
Gather round my family and friends. So, dear, I'll sing y' all a story if you'll lend me your ear About a midnight ride back some 50 years and you could say my grandpappy
- [34:43]
Holly Brown
was Paula Dear Everybody Knows But Me is a production of companion arts and Next Chapter podcasts. This episode was written by me, Holly Brown. The scene you just heard is a fictionalized version of very real moments from my life, scripted by Arlene, producer, editor, music supervisor, and sound designer, Pete Mustel. It featured Danny Ross playing my dad, Valerie Tossi playing my mom, Maddie Worth as my sister Casey, Garrett Westkamp as my brother Carson, Casey Rose as me, and Pete Musto as our show's announcer. Our associate producer is Alana Nevins. Our story editor for episode one is Brad Lewandowski. Original theme music by Kyle Murdoch. Our show artwork was created by Erin Hill. Our video producer is Emily Reeves. Our videographer is Dalton Polivka. Our animator is Justin Cortese. Our marketing team is Tink Media. Our executive producers are Jeremiah Tittle and also me, Holly Brown. Special thanks to AJ Feliciano, Laura Montenegro, Farid Haji and the whole companion team, Lauren Pacelle, Ariel Nissenblatt, Brian Barletta, Alex Schaefert and Michael Goodfriend for believing in this show. And thanks most of all to my family and friends for supporting and being a part of this. New episodes of Everybody Knows But Me come out every Wednesday. Follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube.com everybodyknowspodcast or wherever you get great content like do you have a story of family secrets or darkly funny drama that you want to share? We want to hear it. Email us@everybodyknowspodmail.com follow me at HollyBrown Comedy and follow the show at Everybody Knows But Me on Instagram and come back next week to find out what crazy hijinks the Brown family is in for and hear more of the stories we tell ourselves to survive.
- [36:44]
Narrator/Singer
Well, now the years are adding up. They're still going strong and I know they'll cut a little rug each time they hear this song. And I hope that I'm as lucky and I find the love is true. Granddad and my grandma's even though we
- [36:59]
Carson (Younger Brother)
know it took him two trips to
- [37:00]
Narrator/Singer
Kentucky to close to 95. Too young to get married on the side of the line. Not till they got there. Did Granny change her mind. Sure and glad the granddad went and tried a second time. Sure is glad for Granddad went tried a second time.
- [37:37]
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- [38:07]
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Sponsor 1
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- [38:36]
Host/Announcer
Com Next Chapter Podcasts.